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    THE LADIES' GUIDE

    TO TRUE

    POLITENESS AND PERFECT MANNERS;

    OR,

    MISS LESLIE'S BEHAVIOUR BOOK.


    A GUIDE AND MANUAL FOR LADIES,

    AS REGARDS THEIR

    CONVERSATION; MANNERS; DRESS; INTRODUCTIONS; ENTRE TO SOCIETY;
    SHOPPING; CONDUCT IN THE STREET; AT PLACES OF AMUSEMENT; IN
    TRAVELING; AT THE TABLE, EITHER AT HOME, IN COMPANY, OR
    AT HOTELS; DEPORTMENT IN GENTLEMEN'S SOCIETY; LIPS;
    COMPLEXION; TEETH; HANDS; THE HAIR; ETC., ETC.

    WITH FULL INSTRUCTIONS AND ADVICE IN

    LETTER WRITING; RECEIVING PRESENTS; INCORRECT WORDS; BORROWING;
    OBLIGATIONS TO GENTLEMEN; OFFENCES; CHILDREN; DECORUM IN
    CHURCH; AT EVENING PARTIES; AND SUGGESTIONS IN BAD
    PRACTICES AND HABITS EASILY CONTRACTED, WHICH NO
    YOUNG LADY SHOULD BE GUILTY OF, ETC., ETC.


    BY MISS LESLIE.

    AUTHOR OF "MISS LESLIE'S CELEBRATED NEW COOKERY BOOK,"
    "MISS LESLIE'S NEW RECEIPTS FOR COOKING," ETC.


    Philadelphia:
    T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS,
    306 CHESTNUT STREET.

       *       *       *       *       *

    Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1864, by

    T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS,

    the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, in and
    for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.

       *       *       *       *       *




PREFACE.


It is said that soon after the publication of Nicholas Nickleby, not
fewer than six Yorkshire schoolmasters (or rather six principals of
Yorkshire institutes) took journeys to London, with the express purpose
of prosecuting Dickens for libels--"each one and severally" considering
himself shown up to the world as Mr. Squeers of Dotheboys Hall.

Now, if Dickens had drawn as graphic a picture of Dothe_girls_ Hall, we
firmly believe that none of the lady principals of similar institutes
would have committed themselves by evincing so little tact, and adopting
such impolitic proceedings. They would wisely have held back from all
appropriation of the obnoxious character, and passed it over unnoticed;
as if it could not possibly have the slightest reference to _them_.

Therefore we wish that those of our fair readers whom certain hints in
the following pages may awaken to the consciousness of a few habitual
misbehavements, (of which they were not previously aware,) should pause,
and reflect, before they allow themselves to "take umbrage too much."
Let them keep in mind that the purpose of the writer is to amend, and
not to offend; to improve her young countrywomen, and not to annoy them.
It is with this view only that she has been induced to "set down in a
note-book" such lapses from _les bienseances_ as she has remarked during
a long course of observation, and on a very diversified field.

She trusts that her readers will peruse this book in as friendly a
spirit as it was written.

                                ELIZA LESLIE.




CONTENTS.


                                             PAGE

    SUGGESTIONS TO VISITERS                     2

    THE VISITED                                24

    TEA VISITERS                               30

    THE ENTREE                                 47

    INTRODUCTIONS                              52

    CONDUCT IN THE STREET                      65

    SHOPPING                                   71

    PLACES OF AMUSEMENT                        87

    TRAVELLING                                 92

    DEPORTMENT AT A HOTEL                     101

    HOTEL DINNER                              120

    SHIP-BOARD                                143

    LETTERS                                   150

    PRESENTS                                  174

    CONVERSATION                              185

    INCORRECT WORDS                           216

    BORROWING                                 225

    OFFENCES                                  243

    OBLIGATIONS TO GENTLEMEN                  250

    CONDUCT TO LITERARY WOMEN                 256

    SUGGESTIONS TO INEXPERIENCED AUTHORS      274

    CHILDREN                                  285

    DECORUM IN CHURCH                         299

    EVENING PARTIES                           304

    MISCELLANIES                              330


       *       *       *       *       *


        MISS LESLIE'S

        BEHAVIOUR BOOK.


       *       *       *       *       *




CHAPTER I.

SUGGESTIONS TO VISITERS.


An amusing writer of the last century, justly complains of the want of
definite words to express, distinctly and unmistakably, the different
degrees of visits, with reference to their length. Whether the stay of
the guest comprises ten minutes, an hour, an evening, a day, a week, or
a month, still it goes under the vague and general term of a visit.

We propose, humourously, that if the stay of the guest exceeds a week,
it should be called "a visitation." If it includes a dining, or a
tea-drinking, or evening-spending, it may be termed "a visit;" while a
mere call can be mentioned as "a vis."

The idea is a very convenient one, and we should like to see it carried
out by general adoption. Meanwhile, we must, for the present, be
contented with the old uncertain practice of saying only "visit" and
"visiter." We think it our duty to explain that this chapter is designed
for the benefit of such inexperienced females as may be about to engage
in what we should like to call "a visitation."

To begin at the beginning:--

Do not _volunteer_ a visit to a friend in the country, or in another
town, unless you have had what is called "a standing invitation," with
every reason to believe that it was sincerely and cordially given. Many
invitations are mere "words of course," without meaning or motive,
designed only to make a show of politeness, and not intended to be taken
literally, or ever acted upon. Even when convinced that your friend is
really your friend, that she truly loves you, has invited you in all
sincerity, and will be happy in your society, still, it is best to
apprize her, duly, of the exact day and hour when she may expect you;
always with the proviso that it is convenient to herself to receive you
at that time, and desiring her to let you know, candidly, if it is not.
However close your intimacy, an unexpected arrival may possibly produce
inconvenience to your hostess; particularly if her family is numerous,
or her bedchambers few. The case is somewhat different, where the house
is large, and where there is no scarcity of apartments for guests, of
servants to wait on them, or of money to furnish the means of
entertaining them liberally. But even then, the time of arrival should
be previously intimated, and observed as punctually as possible. Such
are now the facilities of travelling, and the rapidity of transmitting
intelligence, that there is no excuse for unexpected or ill-timed
visits; and when unexpected, they are too frequently ill-timed. When
attempted as "agreeable surprises," they are seldom very agreeable to
the surprised. Also the improvement in manners has rendered these
incursions old-fashioned and ungenteel. Above all, never volunteer
visits to families whose circumstances are so narrow that they can ill
afford the expense of a guest.

Having received an invitation, reply to it immediately; and do not keep
your friends waiting, day after day, in uncertainty whether you mean to
accept or decline it; causing them, perhaps, to delay asking other
visiters till they have ascertained if you are to be expected or not.

Excuse yourself from accepting invitations from persons whom you do not
like, and whose dispositions, habits, feelings, and opinions are in most
things the reverse of your own. There can be no pleasure in daily and
familiar intercourse where there is no congeniality. Such visits never
end well; and they sometimes produce irreconcilable quarrels, or at
least a lasting and ill-concealed coolness. Though for years you may
have always met on decent terms, you may become positive enemies from
living a short time under the same roof; and there is something
dishonourable in laying yourself under obligations and receiving
civilities from persons whom you secretly dislike, and in whose society
you can have little or no enjoyment.

When you arrive, take occasion to mention how long you intend to stay;
that your hostess may plan her arrangements accordingly. It is rude and
inconsiderate to keep her in ignorance of the probable duration of your
visit. And when the allotted time has expired, do not be persuaded to
extend it farther, unless you are earnestly, and with undoubted
sincerity invited to do so. It is much better that your friends should
part with you reluctantly, than you should give them reason to wish your
visit shorter. Even if it _has_ been very pleasant on both sides, it may
not continue so if prolonged too far. Take care of wearing out your
welcome. Besides, your room may be wanted for another guest.

On your first evening, enquire the hours of the house, that you may
always be ready to comply with them. Rise early enough to be washed and
dressed in time for breakfast; but if you are ready too early, remain in
your own apartment, or walk about the garden, or go to the library till
the cleaning and arranging of the sitting-room has been completed.
Meanwhile, you can occupy yourself with a book, if you stay in your own
room.

As soon as you quit your bed, take off the bedclothes, (each article
separately,) and spread them widely over the chairs, turning the
mattrass or bed as far down as it will go. This will give the bedding
time to air; and in all houses it should be done every morning, the
whole year round. Before you leave the room, raise the windows as high
as they will go, (unless it should be raining, or snowing,) that the
apartment may be well ventilated. Fortunate are those who have been
accustomed to sleeping always with the sash more or less open, according
to the weather, or the season. Their health will be much the better for
the excellent practice of constantly admitting fresh air into their
sleeping-room. See Dr. Franklin's essay on the "Art of Sleeping Well."
Mr. Combe, who has written copiously on this subject, says it not only
improves the health, but the complexion; and that ladies who follow this
practice continue to look young long after those who sleep in close
rooms have faded and shrivelled. Except in a very unhealthy climate, or
in the neighbourhood of marshes, no external air can be so unwholesome,
or productive of such baneful effects on the constitution, as the same
air breathed over and over