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﻿THE BELLE'S STRATAGEM,

A Comedy,
As Acted At The
Theatre-Royal
in
Covent-Garden.

By MRS. COWLEY.







London:
Printed for T. Cadell, in the Strand.
1782.




  TO
  THE QUEEN.


      MADAM,

In the following Comedy, my purpose was, to draw a FEMALE CHARACTER,
which with the most lively Sensibility, fine Understanding, and elegant
Accomplishments, should unite that beautiful Reserve and Delicacy which,
whilst they veil those charms, render them still more interesting. In
delineating such a Character, my heart naturally dedicated it to YOUR
MAJESTY; and nothing remained, but permission to lay it at Your feet.
Your Majesty's graciously allowing me this high Honour, is the point to
which my hopes aspired, and a reward, of which without censure I may be
proud.

      MADAM,

  With the warmest wishes for the continuance
  of your Majesty's felicity,

  I am
  YOUR MAJESTY's
  Most devoted
  and most dutiful Servant,
  _H. Cowley_.




DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.


MEN.

  DORICOURT,               Mr. _Lewis_.
  HARDY,                   Mr. _Quick_.
  SIR GEORGE TOUCHWOOD,    Mr. _Wroughton_.
  FLUTTER,                 Mr. _Lee Lewes_.
  SAVILLE,                 Mr. _Aickin_.
  VILLERS,                 Mr. _Whitfield_.
  COURTALL,                Mr. _Robson_.
  SILVERTONGUE,            Mr. _W. Bates_.
  CROWQUILL,               Mr. _Jones_.
  FIRST GENTLEMAN,         Mr. _Thompson_.
  SECOND GENTLEMAN,        Mr. _L'Estrange_.
  MOUNTEBANK,              Mr. _Booth_.
  FRENCH SERVANT,          Mr. _Wewitzer_.
  PORTER,                  Mr. _Fearon_.
  DICK,                    Mr. _Stevens_.


WOMEN.

  LETITIA HARDY,           Miss _Younge_.
  MRS. RACKET,             Mrs. _Mattocks_.
  LADY FRANCES TOUCHWOOD,  Mrs. _Hartley_.
  MISS OGLE,               Mrs. _Morton_.
  KITTY WILLIS,            Miss _Stewart_.
  LADY,                    Mrs. _Poussin_.

  MASQUERADERS, TRADESMEN, SERVANTS, &c.




THE BELLE'S STRATAGEM.




ACT I.


SCENE I.--_Lincoln's-Inn._

_Enter_ Saville, _followed by a Servant, at the top of the stage,
looking round, as if at a loss_.


_Saville._

Lincoln's-Inn!--Well, but where to find him, now I am in
Lincoln's-Inn?--Where did he say his Master was?

_Serv._ He only said in Lincoln's-Inn, Sir.

_Sav._ That's pretty! And your wisdom never enquired at whose chambers?

_Serv._ Sir, you spoke to the servant yourself.

_Sav._ If I was too impatient to ask questions, you ought to have taken
directions, blockhead!

      _Enter_ Courtall _singing_.

Ha, Courtall!--Bid him keep the horses in motion, and then enquire at
all the chambers round. [_Exit servant._

What the devil brings you to this part of the town?--Have any of the
Long Robes, handsome wives, sisters or chambermaids?

_Court._ Perhaps they have;--but I came on a different errand; and, had
thy good fortune brought thee here half an hour sooner, I'd have given
thee such a treat, ha! ha! ha!

_Sav._ I'm sorry I miss'd it: what was it?

_Court._ I was informed a few days since, that my cousins Fallow were
come to town, and desired earnestly to see me at their lodgings in
Warwick-Court, Holborn. Away drove I, painting them all the way as so
many Hebes. They came from the farthest part of Northumberland, had
never been in town, and in course were made up of rusticity, innocence,
and beauty.

_Sav._ Well!

_Court._ After waiting thirty minutes, during which there was a violent
bustle, in bounced five fallow damsels, four of them maypoles;--the
fifth, Nature, by way of variety, had bent in the Æsop style.--But
they all opened at once, like hounds on a fresh scent:--"Oh, cousin
Courtall!--How do you do, cousin Courtall! Lord, cousin, I am glad you
are come! We want you to go with us to the Park, and the Plays, and the
Opera, and Almack's, and all the fine places!"----The devil, thought I,
my dears, may attend you, for I am sure I won't.--However, I heroically
stayed an hour with them, and discovered, the virgins were all come to
town with the hopes of leaving it--Wives:--their heads full of
Knight-Baronights, <DW2>s, and adventures.

_Sav._ Well, how did you get off?

_Court._ Oh, pleaded a million engagements.----However, conscience
twitched me; so I breakfasted with them this morning, and afterwards
'squired them to the gardens here, as the most private place in town;
and then took a sorrowful leave, complaining of my hard, hard fortune,
that obliged me to set off immediately for Dorsetshire, ha! ha! ha!

_Sav._ I congratulate your escape!--Courtall at Almack's, with five
aukward country cousins! ha! ha! ha!--Why, your existence, as a Man of
Gallantry, could never have survived it.

_Court._ Death, and fire! had they come to town, like the rustics of
the last age, to see Paul's, the Lions, and the Wax-work--at their
service;--but the cousins of our days come up Ladies--and, with the
knowledge they glean from magazines and pocket-books, Fine Ladies;
laugh at the bashfulness of their grandmothers, and boldly demand their
_entrées_ in the first circles.

_Sav._ Where can this fellow be!--Come, give me some news--I have been
at war with woodcocks and partridges these two months, and am a stranger
to all that has passed out of their region.

_Court._ Oh! enough for three Gazettes. The Ladies are going to petition
for a bill, that, during the war, every man may be allowed Two Wives.

_Sav._ 'Tis impossible they should succeed, for the majority of both
Houses know what it is to have one.

_Court._ Gallantry was black-ball'd at the _Coterie_ last Thursday, and
Prudence and Chastity voted in.

_Sav._ Ay, that may hold 'till the Camps break up.--But have ye no
elopements? no divorces?

_Court._ Divorces are absolutely out, and the Commons-Doctors starving;
so they are publishing trials of _Crim. Con._ with all the separate
evidences at large; which they find has always a wonderful effect on
their trade, actions tumbling in upon them afterwards, like mackarel at
Gravesend.

_Sav._ What more?

_Court._ Nothing--for weddings, deaths, and politics, I never talk of,
but whilst my hair is dressing. But prithee, Saville, how came you
in town, whilst all the qualified gentry are playing at pop-gun on
Coxheath, and the country over-run with hares and foxes?

_Sav._ I came to meet my friend Doricourt, who, you know, is lately
arrived from Rome.

_Court._ Arrived! Yes, faith, and has cut us all out!--His carriage,
his liveries, his dress, himself, are the rage of the day! His first
appearance set the whole _Ton_ in a ferment, and his valet is besieged
by _levées_ of taylors, habit-makers, and other Ministers of Fashion, to
gratify the impatience of their customers for becoming _à la mode de
Doricourt_. Nay, the beautiful Lady Frolic, t'other night, with two
sister Countesses, insisted upon his waistcoat for muffs; and their
snowy arms now bear it in triumph about town, to the heart-rending
affliction of all our _Beaux Garçons_.

_Sav._ Indeed! Well, those little gallantries will soon be over; he's on
the point of marriage.

_Court._ Marriage! Doricourt on the point of marriage! 'Tis the happiest
tidings you could have given, next to his being hanged--Who is the Bride
elect?

_Sav._ I never saw her; but 'tis Miss Hardy, the rich heiress--the match
was made by the parents, and the courtship begun on their nurses knees;
Master used to crow at Miss, and Miss used to chuckle at Master.

_Court._ Oh! then by this time they care no more for each other, than I
do for my country cousins.

_Sav._ I don't know that; they have never met since thus high, and so,
probably, have some regard for each other.

_Court._ Never met! Odd!

_Sav._ A whim of Mr. Hardy's; he thought his daughter's charms would
make a more forcible impression, if her lover remained in ignorance of
them 'till his return from the Continent.

      _Enter_ Saville's _Servant_.

_Serv._ Mr. Doricourt, Sir, has been at Counsellor Pleadwell's, and gone
about five minutes. [_Exit Servant._

_Serv._ Five minutes! Zounds! I have been five minutes too late all my
life-time!--Good morrow, Courtall; I must pursue him. (_Going._)

_Court._ Promise to dine with me to-day; I have some honest fellows.
(_Going off on the opposite side._)

_Sav._ Can't promise; perhaps I may.--See there, there's a bevy of
female Patagonians, coming down upon us.

_Court._ By the Lord