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                              Conundrum_s_

                         Riddles _and_ Puzzles


               Containing one thousand of the late_s_t
               and be_s_t _Conundrums_, gathered from
               every conceivable source, and comprising
               many that are entirely new and original




                                   By

                              DEAN RIVERS

                              Philadelphia
                      The Penn Publishing Company
                                  1903




             COPYRIGHT 1893 BY THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY

             COPYRIGHT 1900 BY THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY




                                PREFACE


A taste for guessing puzzles and enigmas is coeval with the race. The
early Greeks were extremely fond of such intellectual exercises, and
they are found in the language of all civilized nations. One of the
brightest forms of these puzzles is that of the conundrum, the answer of
which is usually a play upon words similar to the pun. Each language has
its own particular form of this kind of wit, but the English language,
on account of its composite nature, is especially rich in such forms of
wit and humor.

The compiler of this little volume has made a choice selection of
conundrums from those in actual use among people belonging to refined
and cultured society. They are classified under four principal
heads—General Conundrums, Biblical Conundrums, Poetical Conundrums, and
French Conundrums. Some of the most ingenious and interesting forms of
wit will be found under each of these classes.

In addition to these conundrums, the book contains a rare collection of
arithmetical puzzles. These were especially prepared for the work by a
mathematician of wide reputation who has used many of them in one of his
own publications. They will be found of great interest to those who have
a taste for numbers and their curious combinations and results.

The collection as a whole will afford innocent recreation for the
fireside and social circle, and thus contribute to the happiness of
those who enjoy the higher forms of pleasure that flow from the exercise
of the mind upon those subjects that require quickness of thought and a
nimble wit.


                                                             THE AUTHOR.




                                CONTENTS


                                             PAGE

                       GENERAL CONUNDRUMS,      9

                       BIBLICAL CONUNDRUMS,   117

                       POETICAL CONUNDRUMS,   125

                       FRENCH CONUNDRUMS,     133

                       ARITHMETICAL PUZZLES,  137




                           GENERAL CONUNDRUMS


Why is life the greatest of all conundrums? Because we must all give it
up.

When may an army be said to be totally destroyed? When its soldiers are
all in quarters.

Which is swifter, heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch cold.

Why is a young lady like a letter? Because if she isn’t well stamped the
mails (males) won’t take her.

Why are dudes no longer imported into this country from England? Because
a Yankee dude ’ll do (Yankee doodle doo).

What flowers can be found between the nose and chin? Tulips (two lips).

Why is a dude’s hat like swearing? Because it is something to avoid.

How many wives is a man lawfully entitled to by the English prayer-book?
Sixteen: Four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse.

Why is a bright young lady like a spoon in a cup of tea? Because she is
interesting (in tea resting).

Why does a young man think his sweetheart is like a door-knob? Because
she is something to adore (a door).

Why is the emblem of the United States more enduring than that of
France, England, Ireland, or Scotland?

              The _Lily_ may fade and its leaves decay,
                The _Rose_ from its stem may sever,
              The _Shamrock_ and _Thistle_ may pass away,
                But the _Stars_ will shine forever.

Why is a kiss like a sermon? Because it needs two heads and an
application.

What is the shape of a kiss? Elliptical.

Why is a kiss like gossip? Because it goes from mouth to mouth.

When two people kiss, what kind