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MAIDS WIVES AND BACHELORS

  by
  AMELIA E. BARR


  Author of "Jan Vedder's Wife," "A Bow of Orange Ribbon," etc.


  NEW YORK
  DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY
  1898


  Copyright, 1898,
  By Dodd, Mead and Company

  University Press:
  John Wilson and Son, Cambridge, U.S.A.




CONTENTS


                                                                  PAGE
  Maids and Bachelors                                                1
  The American Girl                                                 13
  Dangerous Letter-Writing                                          23
  Flirts and Flirtation                                             32
  On Falling in Love                                                38
  Engaged To Be Married                                             47
  Shall our Daughters have Dowries?                                 56
  The Ring Upon the Finger                                          67
  Flirting Wives                                                    73
  Mothers-in-Law                                                    86
  Good and Bad Mothers                                              97
  Unequal Marriages                                                114
  Discontented Women                                               125
  Women on Horseback                                               145
  A Good Word for Xanthippe                                        155
  The Favorites of Men                                             160
  Mothers of Great and Good Men                                    170
  Domestic Work for Women                                          175
  Professional Work for Women                                      187
  Little Children                                                  200
  On Naming Children                                               205
  The Children's Table                                             217
  Intellectual "Cramming" of Boys                                  225
  The Servant-Girl's Point of View                                 231
  Extravagance                                                     240
  Ought we to Wear Mourning?                                       248
  How To Have One's Portrait Taken                                 254
  The Crown of Beauty                                              272
  Waste of Vitality                                                281
  A Little Matter of Money                                         288
  Mission of Household Furniture                                   293
  People Who Have Good Impulses                                    302
  Worried to Death                                                 307
  The Grapes We Can't Reach                                        313
  Burdens                                                          319




Maids and Bachelors


Women who have devoted themselves for religious purposes to celibacy
have in all ages and countries of the world received honor, but those
upon whom celibacy has been forced, either through the influence of
untoward circumstances, or as a consequence of some want or folly in
themselves, have been objects of most unmerited contempt and dislike.
Unmerited, because it may be broadly asserted that until the last
generation no woman in secular and social life remained unmarried from
desire or from conviction. She was the victim of some natural
disadvantage, or some unhappy circumstance beyond her control, and
therefore entitled to sympathy, but not to contempt.

Of course, there are many lovely girls who appear to have every
advantage for matrimony, and who yet drift into spinsterhood. The
majority of this class have probably been imprudent and over-stayed
their market. They have dallied with their chances too long. Suddenly
they are aware that their beauty is fading. They notice that the
suitable marriageable men who hung around them in their youth have
gone away, and that their places are filled with mere callow youths.
Then they realize their mistakes, and are sorry they have thought
being "an awfully silly little thing" and "having a good time" the end
of their existence. Heart-aches and disappointments enough follow for
their punishment; for they soon divine that when women cease to have
men for lovers, and are attended by school-boys, they have written
themselves down already as old maids.

Closely allied to these victims of folly or thoughtlessness are the
women who remain unmarried because of their excessive vanity--or
natural cruelty. "My dear, I was cruel thirty years ago, and no one
has asked me since." This confession from an aunt to her niece, though
taken from a play, is true enough to tell the real story of many an
old maid. Their vanity made them cruel, and their cruelty condemned
them to a lonely, loveless life. Close observation, however, among the
unmarried women of any one's acquaintance will reveal the fact that it
is not from the ranks of silly or cruel women that the majority of old
maids come. Men do not, as a rule, dislike silly women; and by a wise
provision of nature, they are rather fond of marrying pretty, helpless
creatures who cannot help themselves. Neither are cruel women
universally unpopular. Some lovers like