



Produced by Pat Pflieger





THE LIFE AND PERAMBULATIONS OF A MOUSE

(1783-1784)

by Dorothy Kilner




INTRODUCTION

During a remarkably severe winter, when a prodigious fall of snow
confined everybody to their habitations, who were happy enough to have
one to shelter them from the inclemency of the season, and were hot
obliged by business to expose themselves to its rigour, I was on a visit
to Meadow Hall; where had assembled likewise a large party of young
folk, who all seemed, by their harmony and good humour, to strive who
should the most contribute to render pleasant that confinement which we
were all equally obliged to share. Nor were those further advanced
in life less anxious to contribute to the general satisfaction and
entertainment.

After the more serious employment of reading each morning was concluded,
we danced, we sung, we played at blind-man's-buff, battledore and
shuttlecock, and many other games equally diverting and innocent; and
when tired of them, drew our seats round the fire, while each one in
turn told some merry story to divert the company.

At last, after having related all that we could recollect worth
reciting, and being rather at a loss what to say next, a sprightly girl
in company proposed that every one should relate the history of their
own lives; 'and it must be strange indeed,' added she, 'if that will not
help us out of this difficulty, and furnish conversation for some days
longer; and by that time, perhaps, the frost will break, the snow will
melt, and set us all at liberty. But let it break when it will, I make a
law, that no one shall go from Meadow Hall till they have told their own
history: so take notice, ladies and gentlemen, take notice, everybody,
what you have to trust to. And because,' continued she, 'I will not be
unreasonable, and require more from you than you can perform, I will
give all you who may perhaps have forgotten what passed so many years
ago, at the beginning of your lives, two days to recollect and digest
your story; by which time if you do not produce something pretty and
entertaining, we will never again admit you to dance or play among us.'
All this she spoke with so good-humoured a smile, that every one was
delighted with her, and promised to do their best to acquit themselves
to her satisfaction; whilst some (the length of whose lives had not
rendered them forgetful of the transactions which had passed) instantly
began their memoirs, as they called them: and really some related their
narratives with such spirit and ingenuity, that it quite distressed us
older ones, lest we should disgrace ourselves when it should fall to
our turns to hold forth. However, we were all determined to produce
something, as our fair directress ordered. Accordingly, the next morning
I took up my pen, to endeavour to draw up some kind of a history, which
might satisfy my companions in confinement. I took up my pen, it is
true, and laid the paper before me; but not one word toward my appointed
task could I proceed. The various occurrences of my life were such as,
far from affording entertainment, would, I was certain, rather afflict;
or, perhaps, not interesting enough for that, only stupefy, and render
them more weary of the continuation of the frost than they were before I
began my narration. Thus circumstanced, therefore, although by myself,
I broke silence by exclaiming, 'What a task his this sweet girl
imposed upon me! One which I shall never be able to execute to my own
satisfaction or her amusement. The adventures of my life (though deeply
interesting to myself) will be insipid and unentertaining to others,
especially to my young hearers: I cannot, therefore, attempt it.'--'Then
write mine, which may be more diverting,' said a little squeaking voice,
which sounded as if close to me. I started with surprise, not knowing
any one to be near me; and looking round, could discover no object from
whom it could possibly proceed, when casting my eyes upon the ground, in
a little hole under the skirting-board, close by the fire, I discovered
the head of a mouse peeping out. I arose with a design to stop the
hole with a cork, which happened to lie on the table by me; and I was
surprised to find that it did not run away, but suffered me to advance
quite close, and then only retreated a little into the hole, saying in
the same voice as before, 'Will you write my history?' You may be sure
that I was much surprised to be so addressed by such an animal; but,
ashamed of discovering any appearance of astonishment, lest the
mouse should suppose it had frightened me, I answered with the utmost
composure, that I would write it willingly if it would dictate to
me. 'Oh, that I will do,' replied the mouse, 'if you will not hurt
me.'--'Not for the world,' returned I; 'come, therefore, and sit upon
my table, that I may hear more distinctly what you have to relate.' It
instantly accepted my invitation, and with all the nimbleness of its
species, ran up the side of my chair, and jumped upon my table; when,
getting into a box of wafers, it began as follows.



But, before I proceed to relate my new little companion's history, I
must beg leave to assure my readers that, in earnest, I never heard a
mouse speak in all my life; and only wrote the following narrative as
being far more entertaining, and not less instructive, than my own life
would have been: and as it met with the high approbation of those for
whom it was written, I have sent it to Mr. Marshall, for him to publish
it, if he pleases, for the equal amusement of his little customers.




PART I.

Like all other newborn animals, whether of the human, or any other
species, I can not pretend to remember what passed during my infant
days. The first circumstance I can recollect was my mother's addressing
me and my three brothers, who all lay in the same nest, in the following
words:-'I have, my children, with the greatest difficulty, and at the
utmost hazard of my life, provided for you all to the present moment;
but the period is arrived, when I can no longer pursue that method:
snares and traps are everywhere set for me, nor shall I, without
infinite danger, be able to procure sustenance to support my own
existence, much less can I find sufficient for you all; and, indeed,
with pleasure I behold it as no longer necessary, since you are of
age now to provide and shift for yourselves; and I doubt not but your
agility will enable you to procure a very comfortable livelihood. Only
let me give you this one caution--never (whatever the temptation may
be) appear often in the same place; if you do, however you may flatter
yourselves to the contrary, you will certainly at last be destroyed.'
So saying, she stroked us all with her fore paw as a token of her
affection, and then hurried away, to conceal from us the emotions of her
sorrow, at thus sending us into the wide world.

She was no sooner gone, than the thought of being our own directors so
charmed our little hearts, that we presently forgot our grief at parting
from our kind parent; and, impatient to use our liberty, we all set
forward in search of some food, or rather some adventure, as our mother
had left us victuals more than sufficient to supply the wants of that
day. With a great deal of difficulty, we clambered up a high wall on the
inside of a wainscot, till we reached the story above that we were
born in, where we found it much easier to run round within the
skirting-board, than to ascend any higher.

While we were there, our noses were delightfully regaled with the scent
of the most delicate food that we had ever smelt; we were anxious to
procure a taste of it likewise, and after running round and round the
room a great many times, we at last discovered a little crack, through
which we made our entrance. My brother Longtail led the way; I followed;
Softdown came next; but Brighteyes would not be prevailed upon to
venture. The apartment which we entered was spacious and elegant; at
least, differed so greatly from anything we had seen, that we imagined
it the finest place upon earth. It was covered all over with a carpet of
various colours, that not only concealed some bird-seeds which we came
to devour, but also for some time prevented our being discovered; as
we were of much the same hue with many of the flowers on the carpet.
At last a little girl, who was at work in the room, by the side of her
mamma, shrieked out as if violently hurt. Her mamma begged to know the
cause of her sudden alarm. Upon which she called out, 'A mouse! a mouse!
I saw one under the chair!' 'And if you did, my dear,' replied her
mother, 'is that any reason for your behaving so ridiculously? If there
were twenty mice, what harm could they possibly do? You may easily hurt
and destroy then; but, poor little things! they cannot, if they would,
hurt you.' 'What, could they not bite me?' inquired the child. 'They
may, indeed, be able to do that; but you may be very sure that they have
no such inclination,' rejoined the mother. 'A mouse is one of the most
timorous things in the world; every noise alarms it: and though it
chiefly lives by plunder, it appears as if punished by its fears for the
mischiefs which it commits among our property. It is therefore highly
ridiculous to pretend to be alarmed at the sight of a creature that
would run from the sound of your voice, and wishes never to come near
you, lest, as you are far more able, you should also be disposed to
hurt it.' 'But I am sure, madam,' replied the little girl, whose name I
afterwards heard was Nancy, 'they do not always run away; for one day,
as Miss Betsy Kite was looking among some things which she had in her
box, a mouse jumped out and ran up her frock sleeve--she felt it quite
up on her arm.' 'And what became of it then?' inquired the mother. 'It
jumped down again,' replied Nancy, 'and got into a little hole in the
window-seat; and Betsy did not see it again.' 'Well, then, my dear,'
resumed the lady, 'what harm did it do her? Is not that a convincing
proof of what I say, that you have no cause to be afraid of them, and
that it is very silly to be so? It is certainly foolish to be afraid of
any thing, unless it threatens us with immediate danger; but to pretend
to be so at a mouse, and such like inoffensive things, is a degree of
weakness that I can by no means suffer any of my children to indulge.'
'May I then, madam,' inquired the child, 'be afraid of cows and horses,
and such great beasts as those?' 'Certainly not,' answered her mother,
'unless they are likely to hurt you. If a cow or an horse runs after
you, I would have you fear them so much as to get out of the way; but if
they are quietly walking or grazing in a field, then to fly from them,
as if you thought they would eat you instead of the grass, is most
absurd, and discovers great want of sense. I once knew a young lady,
who, I believe, thought it looked pretty to be terrified at everything,
and scream if dog or even a mouse looked at her: but most severely was
she punished for her folly, by several very disagreeable accidents she
by those means brought upon herself.

'One day when she was drinking tea in a large company, on the door being
opened, a small Italian greyhound walked into the drawing-room. She
happened to be seated near the mistress of the dog, who was making tea:
the dog, therefore, walked toward her, in order to be by his favourite;
but, upon his advancing near her, she suddenly jumped up, without
considering what she was about, overturned the water-urn, the hot iron
of which rolling out, set fire to her clothes, which instantly blazed
up, being only muslin, and burnt her arms, face, and neck, most
dreadfully: she was so much hurt as to be obliged to be put immediately
to bed; nor did she recover enough to go abroad for many months. Now,
though every one was sorry for her sufferings, who could possibly help
blaming her for her ridiculous behaviour, as it was entirely owing to
her own folly that she was so hurt? When she was talked to upon the
subject, she pleaded for her excuse, that she was so frightened she did
not know what she did, nor whither she was going; but as she thought
that the dog was coming to her she could not help jumping up, to get out
of his way. Now what ridiculous arguing was this! Why could not she help
it? And if the dog had really been going to her, what harm would it have
done? Could she suppose that the lady whose house she was at, would have
suffered a beast to walk about the house loose, and go into company,
if he was apt to bite and hurt people? Or why should she think he would
more injure her, than those he had before passed by? But the real case
was, she did not think at all; if she had given herself time for that,
she could not have acted so ridiculously. Another time, when she was
walking, from the same want of reflection, she very nearly drowned
herself. She was passing over a bridge, the outside rails of which were
in some places broken down: while she was there, some cows, which a man
was driving, met her: immediately, without minding whither she went,
she shrieked out, and at the same time jumped on one side just where the
rail happened to be broken, and down she fell into the river; nor was
it without the greatest difficulty that she was taken out time enough
to save her life. However, she caught a violent cold and fever, and was
again, by her own foolish fears, confined to her bed for some weeks.
Another accident she once met with, which though not quite so bad as the
two former, yet might have been attended with fatal consequences. She
was sitting in a window, when a wasp happened to fly toward her; she
hastily drew back her head, and broke the pane of glass behind her, some
of which stuck in her neck. It bled prodigiously; but a surgeon happily
being present, made some application to it, which prevented its being
followed by any other ill effects than only a few days weakness,
occasioned by the loss of blood. Many other misfortunes of the like kind
she frequently experienced; but these which I have now related may serve
to convince you how extremely absurd it is for people to give way to
and indulge themselves in such groundless apprehensions, and, by being
afraid when there is no