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Transcriber's Note:

  Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have
  been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.

  On page 128, the sentence starting "I did not," may be missing words.

  Italic text is denoted by _underscores_.




     A YANKEE
     IN
     THE FAR EAST




     A YANKEE
     IN
     THE FAR EAST

     BY
     GEORGE HOYT ALLEN

     _Author of "It Tickled Him"_

     WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY
     H. S. WELLER

     CLINTON, N. Y.
     TRAVELOGUE-ART ASSOCIATION
     INCORPORATED
     1916


     _Copyright, 1914_
     BY TRAVELOGUE-ART ASSOCIATION, INC.

     _Copyright, 1915_
     BY TRAVELOGUE-ART ASSOCIATION, INC.

     _All rights reserved_
     SECOND EDITION




     To my Friend
     J. WHITFIELD HIRST




CONTENTS


                                                                  PAGE

     Author's Preface                                                1

     I. War Hell and Bull Fights                                     7

     II. "Missouri" and His False Teeth                             17

     III. Wong Lee--The Human Bellows                               28

     IV. Hawaii--and the Fisherman Who'd Sign the Pledge            33

     V. The Umpire Who Got a Job                                    44

     VI. The <DW61>s' Five-Story Skyscraper _and_ a Basement           53

     VII. Japanese Girls in American Clothes--They Mar the
       Landscape                                                    59

     VIII. Ceremonious Grandmother--"Missouri" a "Heavenly Twin"    64

     IX. Ushi the Rikisha Man                                       79

     X. Missionaries, Tracts, and a Job Worth While                 91

     XI. Yamamoto and High Cost of Living                           99

     XII. The Soldier Said Something in Chinese                    103

     XIII. Ten Thousand Tons on a Wheelbarrow and the Ananias
       Club                                                        114

     XIV. "Missouri" Meets a Missionary                            120

     XV. A Sto-o-rm at Sea                                         133

     XVI. The Islands "Discovered" by Dewey                        138

     XVII. White Filipinos, Aguinaldo, and the Busy Moth           147

     XVIII. Singapore--The Humorist's Close Call                   156

     XIX. The Hindu Guide a Saint Would Be                         168

     XX. Penang--A Bird, the Female of Its Species, and the
       Mangosteen                                                  172

     XXI. Burma and Buddha                                         176

     XXII. Baptists and Buddhism                                   181

     XXIII. The Rangoon Business Man Who Drove His Sermon Home     185

     XXIV. The Glass of Ice-Water That Jarred Rangoon              188

     XXV. The Calcutta Sacred Bull and His Twisted Tail            194

     XXVI. The Guide Who Wouldn't Sit in "Master's" Presence       201

     XXVII. Royalty vs. "Two Clucks and a Grunt"                   206

     XXVIII. One Wink, Sixteen Cents, and Royalty                  210

     XXIX. The Englishman and Mark Twain's Joke, "That's How
       They Wash in India"                                         215

     XXX. English as "She Is Spoke" in India                       223

     XXXI. Five Days' Sail and a Measly Poem                       225

     XXXII. Beating the Game With One Shirt                        240

     XXXIII. Through Hell Gate Steerage                            257




LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS


                                                                  PAGE
     I found myself jammed in with the cruelest, most
     blood-thirsty, cut-throat gang I've ever seen                  11

     They tortured three yesterday, but I was more than satisfied
     with one, when I left them to their sport                      15

     "You see, Mr. Allen, I got those teeth to please my wife"      20

     "When I didn't have them in my wife was giving me Hail
     Columbia"                                                      24

     "With a mouthful of victuals I'd find myself chewing those
     false teeth with my other teeth"                               26

     "Wong," I said, "how fashion you talkee so?
     "No can slmoke stlate loom!
    