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  HOW TO TEACH MANNERS
  IN THE SCHOOL-ROOM.


  BY MRS. JULIA M. DEWEY,

  METHOD AND CRITIC TEACHER IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS OF RUTLAND, VT.;
  FORMERLY SUPT. OF SCHOOLS, HOOSIC FALLS, N. Y.


      “Who misses or who wins the prize?
      Go, lose or conquer, as you can;
      But if you fail, or if you rise,
      Be each, pray God, a gentleman.”

      --_Epilogue to Dr. Birch and his Pupils._


[Illustration: (Publisher’s colophon)]

  THE A. S. BARNES COMPANY
  NEW YORK AND CHICAGO




  COPYRIGHT, 1888
  E. L. KELLOGG & CO.
  NEW YORK




INTRODUCTION.


Importance of the definite teaching of manners. Children are close
imitators; they will learn some kind of manners, and one who
teaches positively or emphatically (or contrariwise) may often see
a miniature of himself in his young pupil. With this truth in mind
one can hardly attach too much importance to punctilious politeness
on the teacher’s part in his intercourse with pupils. But however
polite a teacher may be, the informal or unconscious teaching of
manners is not enough. The school-room does not afford opportunity
to exemplify all the necessary practices in good manners, and
there is no other way but to teach the various requirements of an
accepted code with reference to actual examples that may present
themselves at any time in life.

It is to be remembered that many children have no opportunity
of obtaining a knowledge of good manners, either by practice or
precept, except as it is afforded by the schools. And as habits
formed in childhood are the most enduring, a lack of early training
in good manners will show itself as long as life lasts. Many other
reasons weigh in favor of the definite teaching of manners, one of
which is, if courtesy is demanded of pupils.

The underlying principles of courtesy should be inculcated, that
children may know it is more than an empty show.

Children need to learn the definite language courtesy employs. This
to many children is a new language, and can only be accomplished by
definite teaching. Beside, if manners are considered of sufficient
importance to be counted a regular part of the school, they will
attract much more importance. Accompanying this by observance on
the part of teacher, the pupil acquires a valuable knowledge.

Good manners ever prove an invaluable aid in doing away with
many of the unpleasantnesses of school-life. Courtesy of manner
under all circumstances means great self-control, and a lack of
self-control in teacher or pupil is the origin of most misdemeanors
in school. Aside from the benefits to be derived in the
school-room, gentle manners help one on in the world wonderfully.
They are more powerful in many cases than their other knowledge.
“All doors fly open to the one who possesses them.”

“Manners are the shadows of great virtues.”--_Whately._ “High
thoughts seated in a heart of courtesy.”--_Sir Philip Sidney._
Mr. Calvert says: “A gentleman is never unduly familiar; takes
no liberties; is chary of questions; is neither artificial nor
affected; is as little obtrusive upon the mind or feelings of
others as on their persons; bears himself tenderly toward the weak
and unprotected; is not arrogant; cannot be supercilious; can be
self-denying without struggle; is not vain of his advantages;
habitually subordinates his lower to his higher self; is, in his
best condition, electric with truth, buoyant with veracity.”

_In a right conception of good breeding the moral element
predominates._ With this idea in view, no one should attempt to
instruct in good manners who has not the ability to instil into
the minds of children its _fundamental principles_. True courtesy
implies strict honor, self-possession, forbearance, generous and
refined feeling, all culminating in a polished deportment.

When teachers consider manners in this high sense, and teach them
accordingly, they give their pupils that which will bring them
much more happiness in life than any amount of knowledge teaching
without it.


AIM OF THIS WORK.

1. To furnish material for lessons in manners suitable to be taught
in the schools, and adapted to different grades of pupils.

2. To furnish illustrative lessons showing the main lines of
thought to be pursued, the length of the lesson, and the simplicity
of method to be employed.

3. To impress both teachers and pupils with a need of the knowledge
of good manners.




“A _gentleman_ can have no better watchword