



Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Malcolm Farmer,
Lesley Halamek and the Online Distributed Proofreading
Team at http://www.pgdp.net






PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Volume 109, October 26, 1895.

_edited by Sir Francis Burnand_




WINTER COVENT GARDEN OPERATIC NOTES.

[Illustration]

SIR AUGUSTUS ANGLO-OPERATICUS has done well at Covent Garden, and will
probably go one better. To Miss ALICE ESTY, as _Elsa_, in _Lohengrin_,
we say "_Esty perpetua_." All are good: and the houses have been
apparently as good as the company. A season of German-French-Italian
Opera in English is a risky venture for a winter season; still, if
successful, and at popular prices, there is in it good promise for the
future. The conductors are Messrs. FELD, HENSCHEL, GLOVER, and Mr. C.
HEDMONDT, which sounds like an English rendering of _Tete Monte_. A
_Tete Monte_ can carry many a project through triumphantly where a
_Tete moins Monte_ would fail.

_Tuesday._--Excellent _Faust_. Mr. PHILIP BROZEL, first time in
English, decidedly good. Sir DRURIOLANUS thought the old opera "wanted
a fillip," and so gave us PHILIP BROZEL. KATE LEE a capital nurse, and
FANNY MOODY a delightful _Marguerite_. OLITZKA a pleasing _Siebel_,
and conductor GLOVER, as his name implies, keeping all hands
well employed, and ready to give fits to any hand that might be
"difficult." The remainder of the week "going strong."

In the interests of English opera, or rather of opera in English, we
wish DRURIOLANUS COVENT GARDENSIS OPERATICUS, with _Messieurs Tete
Monte et Cie._, every possible success.

       *       *       *       *       *

THE AMNESIA BACILLUS.

IT was an alarming state of affairs. The first indications of the new
epidemic were noticed in the autumn of 1895. A lady who mislaid her
identity at Brighton, and failed to recover it for a whole week, had
the doubtful distinction of being the initial case. Her example was
very shortly after followed by a servant-girl who "lost her memory" at
Three Bridges Railway Station. Not being properly labelled, there was
naturally some delay before she was returned to her supperless and
sorrowing mistress. Then the plague spread.

Among the first to suffer were the numerous class of persons who
had been so unfortunate as to borrow money. The simple operation of
transferring a half-crown or a fiver seemed to carry contagion with
it. From the instant that the fatal coin was in the palm of the
innocent and unsuspecting borrower, all recollection of his previous
personality vanished. The unhappy victim had no resource but to start
life afresh as he best could, with new struggles to face, new
lenders thus to victimise him--and new capital (a paltry equivalent!)
wherewith to mourn his hopeless loss of memory. It was observed that
these sufferers were subject to recurrent attacks of the _amnesia
bacillus_. Some scientific alienists went so far as to maintain that
the complaint was no new one, but had been prevalent, in a more or
less virulent form, ever since the first leather coinage was invented.

The Woman with a Past was the next to succumb. She was not quite so
much _en evidence_ as in the two or three previous years; still, a
considerable number of her carried on a contented, if obscure and
occasionally chequered, existence. She only rarely imitated the
_Second Mrs. Tanqueray_ in putting a violent end to her career. Then
all at once she, too, caught the disease. All the romance fled out
of her life, all the deep insight into masculine character, all
the love-souvenirs, so interesting to herself--and to her female
acquaintances. (_They_ did not forget any of these entertaining
details, however.) But as far as she was concerned, her Past
completely vanished, and, poor thing, like the half-crown borrower,
she had to begin all over again. It was weary work, converting her
future into a Past, or series of Pasts, and if she frequently
failed in her task, we must put it down to the deadly and
character-destroying bacillus.

Then the New Women took it severely, and quite forgot themselves.
However, they have been so completely advertised and satirised of
late, that there is no necessity to describe the symptoms of this
class of patient any further. We might add, though, that in some
cases the _sequelae_ of the complaint aged the subject by ten or twenty
years.

It was distressing to note that even the respected occupants of the
Bench did not invariably escape; but they received the infection in
a mild form. They fairly well managed to retain their dignity and
personality, but they could _not_ remember the names of such common
objects as an "oof-bird," or the meaning of so familiar a term as
"going tommy-dodd." This was inconvenient, as it necessitated the
employment of cockney interpreters.

It was a case of "dunno 'oo they are" with a good many other
individuals and sections of the community.

One reverend gentleman had it badly, and turned litigant on the spot.
Quite oblivious of his sacerdotal functions and character, he
imagined that he would be a public benefactor if he went about
suing unoffending 'busses for obstructing a minute portion of their
window-lights with advertisements and notice-boards. This amused the
public at first, but after a while he was voted a nuisance and a bore.
Then the Salvationists caught the bacillus _en bloc_. One and all they
thought they were musicians, and, as such, entitled to make Sunday a
Day of Riot.

Amongst other unfortunate specimens of humanity were the shop-lifters,
who fancied they were shop-walkers; the burglars, who habitually
mistook their home address; the quarterly tenants, who, on the other
hand, forgot to remain at home at periodical intervals; and our old
friend 'ARRY, who forgot his manners and his h's.

The list of victims might be indefinitely extended. Once it was
thought that they were responsible for their actions; but now, thanks
to the progress of medical science, the _amnesia bacillus_ has
been identified. It only remains for a new PASTEUR to invent some
counteracting microbe