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                           Transcriber Notes

 Obvious printer errors and missing punctuation fixed. Archaic and
   inconsistent spelling retained.
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                   Life of Stephen H. Branch.       1

                   A Primary Election at Peter      2
                     Cooper’s Funny Little
                     Grocery-Groggery, at the
                     corner of the Bowery and
                     Stuyversant Street, in 1820.

                   A Precious Fossil.               2

                   Editorial Career of James        3
                     Gordon Bennett.

                   Fools.                           3

                   Advertisements.                  4

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[Illustration: STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S ALLIGATOR.]

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   Volume I.—No. 13.]    SATURDAY, JULY 17, 1858.    [Price 2 Cents.


       Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by

                           STEPHEN H. BRANCH,

       In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the United
             States for the Southern District of New York.




                       Life of Stephen H. Branch.


While Horace Greeley and myself were in conversation over our breakfast
at the Graham House, Goss escorted Fred Douglas and lady to the table,
who took seats near us. I knew not who they were, nor do I know that
Greeley did, but I think he did. They had arrived the previous night,
and this was my first knowledge that Goss kept  boarders, who
politely helped them, and took a seat beside them, and conversed on
their favorite theme of anti-slavery. I stared at Goss and Fred and lady
and at Greeley, who gave me a sly glance, and ate his bran mush and
molasses as though nothing unusual was transpiring. I finished my mush,
and retired, and felt that Goss had perpetrated a gross impropriety. And
although I was then teaching <DW64>s in the kitchens of New York, amid
slush and kettles and frying pans, and thus evinced my warm desire to
elevate the whole African race, yet my feelings were so grossly outraged
by this unnatural and disgusting amalgamation, that I went to Major
Mordecah M. Noah, (who published a daily evening paper,) and told him
the whole story, who opened a tremendous broadside on Greeley, who dared
Noah to reveal the name of his informant, although he knew I must be the
man. I besought Noah not to disclose my name, as I did not desire to
have a controversy with Greeley about Graham bread and Africans. Noah
promised he would not, but he discharged such caustic and unceasing
broadsides, and poked so much fun at Greeley, for breakfasting with
<DW64>s, that he again ferociously demanded Noah to disclose the name of
his cowardly informant. I again implored Noah to stand firmly, and not
to divulge my name. Noah said that he did not see how he could avoid it,
as Greeley had made such a savage demand. But I induced him, after long
and plaintive importunity, not to expose me, and Noah soon withdrew his
forces from Africa, and attacked Greeley on his native hills of America,
on the subject of the Tariff and other themes. And in their deluge of
words and detraction, I did not molest Noah, nor any of his descendants,
save to pawn some of my traps occasionally to pay Goss my weekly board.
Greeley snarled and growled at me for weeks, but he had a conciliatory
nature, and magnanimously forgave me, and, (as after the quarrels of two
enthusiastic lovers,) we were better friends than ever. I admired the
humor and genial nature of Major Noah, and I respected the
transcendental talents of Horace Greeley, but I did not wish to be
devoured by their gladiatorial collisions, although I was the sole
origin of their editorial combat. Rhode Island was now on the verge of
civil war. My father addressed the first assemblage at the old Town
House, in Providence, against the revolutionary doctrines of Thomas
Wilson Dorr, and harangued the friend’s of Law and Order in various
parts of the State. My brother Henry came to New York, and told me that
my father had received letters from the insurgents, warning him to
prepare to meet his God, and was insulted by ruffians while crossing
Providence bridge, who threatened to destroy his property, if he did not
cease his inflammatory speeches against them, and that father defied
them, and told them that they might burn his houses, but they could not
burn his land. I went to Providence, and was saluted by father in tones
of the purest affection. I slept at his house, for several