



Produced by David Widger





                               FOLLOWING
                              THE EQUATOR
                       A JOURNEY AROUND THE WORLD
                                   BY
                               MARK TWAIN
                           SAMUEL L. CLEMENS

                                 Part 6






CHAPTER LI.

Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its
laws or its songs either.
                                  --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.

Yes, the city of Benares is in effect just a big church, a religious
hive, whose every cell is a temple, a shrine or a mosque, and whose every
conceivable earthly and heavenly good is procurable under one roof, so to
speak--a sort of Army and Navy Stores, theologically stocked.

I will make out a little itinerary for the pilgrim; then you will see how
handy the system is, how convenient, how comprehensive.  If you go to
Benares with a serious desire to spiritually benefit yourself, you will
find it valuable.  I got some of the facts from conversations with the
Rev. Mr. Parker and the others from his Guide to Benares; they are
therefore trustworthy.

1. Purification.  At sunrise you must go down to the Ganges and bathe,
pray, and drink some of the water.  This is for your general
purification.

2. Protection against Hunger.  Next, you must fortify yourself against
the sorrowful earthly ill just named.  This you will do by worshiping for
a moment in the Cow Temple.  By the door of it you will find an image of
Ganesh, son of Shiva; it has the head of an elephant on a human body; its
face and hands are of silver.  You will worship it a little, and pass on,
into a covered veranda, where you will find devotees reciting from the
sacred books, with the help of instructors.  In this place are groups of
rude and dismal idols.  You may contribute something for their support;
then pass into the temple, a grim and stenchy place, for it is populous
with sacred cows and with beggars.  You will give something to the
beggars, and "reverently kiss the tails" of such cows as pass along, for
these cows are peculiarly holy, and this act of worship will secure you
from hunger for the day.

3. "The Poor Man's Friend."  You will next worship this god.  He is at
the bottom of a stone cistern in the temple of Dalbhyeswar, under the
shade of a noble peepul tree on the bluff overlooking the Ganges, so you
must go back to the river.  The Poor Man's Friend is the god of material
prosperity in general, and the god of the rain in particular.  You will
secure material prosperity, or both, by worshiping him.  He is Shiva,
under a new alias, and he abides in the bottom of that cistern, in the
form of a stone lingam.  You pour Ganges water over him, and in return
for this homage you get the promised benefits.  If there is any delay
about the rain, you must pour water in until the cistern is full; the
rain will then be sure to come.

4. Fever.  At the Kedar Ghat you will find a long flight of stone steps
leading down to the river.  Half way down is a tank filled with sewage.
Drink as much of it as you want.  It is for fever.

5. Smallpox.  Go straight from there to the central Ghat.  At its
upstream end you will find a small whitewashed building, which is a
temple sacred to Sitala, goddess of smallpox.  Her under-study is there
--a rude human figure behind a brass screen.  You will worship this for
reasons to be furnished presently.

6. The Well of Fate.  For certain reasons you will next go and do homage
at this well.  You will find it in the Dandpan Temple, in the city.  The
sunlight falls into it from a square hole in the masonry above.  You will
approach it with awe, for your life is now at stake.  You will bend over
and look.  If the fates are propitious, you will see your face pictured
in the water far down in the well.  If matters have been otherwise
ordered, a sudden cloud will mask the sun and you will see nothing.  This
means that you have not six months to live.  If you are already at the
point of death, your circumstances are now serious.  There is no time to
lose.  Let this world go, arrange for the next one.  Handily situated, at
your very elbow, is opportunity for this.  You turn and worship the image
of Maha Kal, the Great Fate, and happiness in the life to come is
secured.  If there is breath in your body yet, you should now make an
effort to get a further lease of the present life.  You have a chance.
There is a chance for everything in this admirably stocked and
wonderfully systemized Spiritual and Temporal Army and Navy Store.  You
must get yourself carried to the

7. Well of Long Life.  This is within the precincts of the mouldering and
venerable Briddhkal Temple, which is one of the oldest in Benares.  You
pass in by a stone image of the monkey god, Hanuman, and there, among the
ruined courtyards, you will find a shallow pool of stagnant sewage.  It
smells like the best limburger cheese, and is filthy with the washings of
rotting lepers, but that is nothing, bathe in it; bathe in it gratefully
and worshipfully, for this is the Fountain of Youth; these are the Waters
of Long Life.  Your gray hairs will disappear, and with them your
wrinkles and your rheumatism, the burdens of care and the