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                          TOASTS

              AND FORMS OF PUBLIC ADDRESS

               FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO SAY

           THE RIGHT THING IN THE RIGHT WAY


                            BY

                     WILLIAM PITTENGER




CONTENTS


INTRODUCTION
AFTER-DINNER SPEECHES--ANCIENT AND MODERN
VALUE OF A GOOD STORY AND HOW TO INTRODUCE IT
PURPOSE OF AFTER-DINNER SPEAKING
SOME A B C DIRECTIONS FOR MAKING SPEECHES, TOASTS, AND RESPONSES
HOLIDAY SPEECHES
  Fourth of July
  Memorial Day
  Washington's Birthday
  Christmas
  Thanksgiving
PRESENTATION ADDRESSES
ADDRESSES OF WELCOME
WEDDING AND OTHER ANNIVERSARIES
TOASTS
  Sentiments Suggested by a Toast
  Miscellaneous Toasts
  Humorous Toasts
MISCELLANEOUS ADDRESSES
  Centennial or Semi-Centennial
  Dedication of a Monument or Unveiling a Statue
  Birthday Celebration
  Reception
  Responses to Toasts at a Dinner
  Responses to Toasts to The Navy
  Responses to Toasts to General Jackson
  Responses to Toasts to The Workingman
  Nominating a Candidate
  Accepting a Nomination
  Speech in a Political Canvass
  Speech after a Political Victory
  Speech after a Political Defeat
  A Chairman's or President's Speech
  For Any Occasion
ILLUSTRATIVE AND HUMOROUS ANECDOTES
INDEX OF TOASTS
INDEX OF ANECDOTES




INTRODUCTION


The author of this manual has at various intervals prepared several
treatises relating to the art of speech. Their wide circulation is an
indication of the demand for works upon this subject. They were intended
to embrace the principles which govern speech-making in the forum, in the
pulpit, or at the bar. While these do not differ essentially from the
principles applicable to occasions where the object is only entertainment,
yet there are certain well-defined differences which it is the purpose of
this little volume to point out. We hope thus to render the same service to
a person who is called upon to offer or respond to a toast in a convivial
assembly, as the author's previous volumes rendered to those preparing to
speak upon subjects of a serious and practical nature.

That help is needed, and may be afforded, no one will deny. A novice called
upon to participate in the exercises of a public banquet, an anniversary,
or other entertainment, unless he has an experienced friend to give him a
few hints or advice, is apt to be dismayed. He does not even know how to
make a start in the work of preparation, and his sense of inability and
fear of blundering go far to confuse and paralyze whatever native faculty
he may have. A book like this comes to him at such a time as reinforcements
to a sorely pressed army in the very crisis of a battle. As he reads, some
ideas which seem practical, flash upon him. He learns what others before
him have done. If he is to offer a toast, he examines the list furnished
in this volume, finding one perhaps that pleases him, or one is suggested
which is better adapted to his purpose than any in the book, and he wonders
at the stupidity of the author in omitting it. Soon he becomes quite
interested in this suggested toast, and compares it with those in the list
to find out wherein it differs. Thus gradually and unconsciously he has
prepared himself for the part he is to perform.

Or if invited to respond to a toast, he passes through a similar
experience. He may find the outline of a speech on that very topic; he
either uses it as it is printed or makes an effort to improve it by
abridgment or enlargement. Next he looks through the treasury of anecdotes,
selects one, or calls to mind one he has read elsewhere which he considers
better. He then studies both of them in their bearings on the subject
upon which he is to speak, and longs for the hour to arrive, when he will
surprise and delight his friends by his performance. He rises to speak
conscious that he knows a great deal, not only about the toast assigned to
him, but about other toasts as well--feels that he has something to say
which, at least, will fill in the time, and save him from confusion and
discredit. He even hopes to win applause by means of the stories and happy
turns with which his speech is interspersed.

He has thus satisfactorily taken the first step toward becoming a ready and
entertaining after-dinner speaker. The sense of knowing how to do what is
expected of him has a wonderfully quieting effect upon his nerves; and thus
the study of this book will greatly add to the confidence of a speaker, and
the effectiveness of his delivery. Whatever graces of manner he possesses
will become available, instead of being subverted by an overmastering fear.

It is not easy to mention all the uses of such a manual. One who has been
accustomed to speaking, but fears he is getting into a rut, can turn to
this text-book and find something which is _not_ so distressingly his
own, that his friends expect him to parade it before them on all occasions.

He may glance over the outline of a speech altogether new and strange to
him, and endeavor to adapt it to his own use; or he may weave together
fragments of several speeches, or take the framework of one and construct
upon it a speech which will enable him to make a new departure. A writer
sometimes, after years of practice, finds it difficult to begin the
composition of some simple reception or commemorative address; but the
reading of a meagre outline, not one word or idea of which may be directly
used, serves to break the spell of intellectual sloth or inertia, and
starts him upon his work briskly and hopefully.

The field covered by the present volume is not entirely unoccupied. One of
the earliest publications in this line is an anonymous English work, very
dignified and conservative. The speeches it furnishes are painstaking, but
a trifle heavy, and savor so much of English modes of expression, as well
as thought and customs, as to be poorly adapted to this country. Two works
have appeared in this country, also, one being intended apparently for
wine parties only; the other, while containing a number of gem-like little
speeches, fails to give the aid which is sought by the ordinary tyro, and
is calculated rather to discourage him; giving him the impression that it
is more difficult to become an acceptable after-dinner speaker than he had
ever supposed. While a few of the best things in the latter volume are
availed of, a different method is pursued in the present work. Outlines
of speeches are preferred to those which are fully elaborated; and the
few plain rules, by which a thing so informal and easy as an after-dinner
speech may be produced, are so illustrated as to make their application
almost a matter of course. Good-humor and brevity, an outline and a
story--what more is needed, unless it be that serene self-confidence which
enables a speaker to say even foolish and absurd things, with the assurance
that all goes down at a public dinner? What if you are not the most
brilliant, humorous, and stirring speaker of the evening? Aim to fill your
place without discredit; observe closely those who make a great success;
the next time you may have a better outline or more telling story, and
become, before you know it, the leader of the evening.

It is not intended to give rules or directions for the order either
of drinking or feasting. That field is fully occupied. But the custom
of making addresses at the close of a feast has, been so thoroughly
established, and so frequent are these occasions, that a gentleman is not
fully equipped for a place in society, if he cannot gracefully offer or
respond to a toast, or preside at a gathering where toasts or other forms
of after-dinner speaking are expected. It is the aim of this manual to help
the beginner in this field.




AFTER-DINNER SPEECHES--ANCIENT AND MODERN


An idea of the real meaning of after-dinner speaking may be obtained from
the feudal feasts of earlier times. The old lord or baron of the Middle
Ages partook of his principal meal in the great hall of his castle,
surrounded by guests, each being assigned his place in formal order and
with no small degree of ceremony. This hall was the main feature of the
castle. There all the family and guests met on frequent festal occasions,
and after the feasting and the hour of ceremony and more refined
entertainment was over, retired to rest in comparatively small and humble
apartments adjoining, though sometimes they would simply wrap their cloaks
about them, and lie down to sleep on the rushes that littered the floor of
the great hall.

After the "rage of hunger was appeased"--which then, as in our day, and
back even as far as the time of the ancient Greeks, was the first business
in order--came the social hour, which meant much to the dwellers in those
dull, comfortless old barracks--for the great castles of that day were
little better than barracks. The chief gave the signal for talk, music, or
story, previous to which, any inquiries or conversation, other than the
briefest question and answer about the food or other necessary things,
would have been considered inappropriate and disrespectful. There probably
was present some guest, who came under circumstances that awakened the
strongest curiosity or who had a claim upon his entertainer. Such a guest
was placed at the board in a position corresponding to his rank.

After resting and partaking of the repast, it was pertinent to hear what
account he could give of himself, and courtesy permitted the host to
levy an intellectual tax upon him, as a contribution to the joy of the
hour. Seated at the head of the table the chief, or, in his absence, a
representative, made the opening speech--the address of welcome, to use the
term familiar to ourselves. This might be very brief or at considerable
length; it might suggest inquiries of any of the company or merely pledge
an attentive and courteous hearing to whatever the guest might