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  |                    GEO. F. NESBITT &CO.,                     |
  |                                                              |
  |                    General JOB PRINTERS,                     |
  |                  BLANK BOOK Manufacturers,                   |
  |              STATIONERS, Wholesale and Retail,               |
  |             LITHOGRAPHIC Engravers and Printers,             |
  |             COPPER-PLATE Engravers and Printers,             |
  |                     CARD Manufacturers,                      |
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  |                 FINE CUT and COLOR Printers.                 |
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  |      ADVANTAGES--All on the same premises, and under the     |
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  |                    PUNCHINELLO'S MONTHLY.                    |
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  |                 THE FIVE NUMBERS FOR APRIL,                  |
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  | These pens are of a finer quality, more durable, and cheaper |
  |    than any other Pen in the market. Special attention is    |
  |  called to the following grades, as being better suited for  |
  |       business purposes than any Pen manufactured. The       |
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  |            "505," "22," and the "Anti-Corrosive,"            |
  |                                                              |
  |            We recommend for bank and office use.             |
  |                                                              |
  |                     D. APPLETON &. CO.,                      |
  |                                                              |
  |               _Sole Agents for United States_               |
  |                                                              |
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[Illustration: Vol. 1  No. 5]


PUNCHINELLO


SATURDAY, APRIL 30, 1870.



PUBLISHED BY THE

PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY,

83 NASSAU STREET, NEW-YORK.

       *       *       *       *       *

  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  | _CONANT'S PATENT BINDERS for "Punchinello," to preserve the  |
  |  paper for binding, will be sent, post-paid, on receipt of   |
  |  One Dollar, by "Punchinello Publishing Company," 83 Nassau  |
  |                   Street, New-York City._                    |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |  PRANG'S CHROMOS are celebrated for their close resemblance  |
  |  to Oil Paintings. Sold in All Stores throughout the World.  |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |    PRANG'S WEEKLY BULLETIN OF CHROMOS.--"Easter Morning"     |
  |      "Family Scene in Pompeii" "Whittier's Birthplace,"      |
  | Illustrated Catalogue sent, on receipt of stamp, by L. PRANG |
  |                        & CO., Boston.                        |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |               APPLICATIONS FOR ADVERTISING IN                |
  |                                                              |
  |                        "PUNCHINELLO"                         |
  |                                                              |
  |                    SHOULD BE ADDRESSED TO                    |
  |                                                              |
  |                        J. NICKINSON,                         |
  |                                                              |
  |                         Room No. 4,                          |
  |                                                              |
  |                      83 NASSAU STREET.                       |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |           The Greatest Horse Book ever Published.            |
  |                                                              |
  |                        HIRAM WOODRUFF                        |
  |                                                              |
  |                            ON THE                            |
  |                                                              |
  |                  TROTTING HORSE OF AMERICA!                  |
  |                                                              |
  |                _How to Train, and Drive Him_.                |
  |                                                              |
  |  With Reminiscences of the Trotting Turf. A handsome 12mo,   |
  |   with a splendid steel-plate portrait of Hiram Woodruff.    |
  |                  Price, extra cloth, $2.25.                  |
  |                                                              |
  | The New-York Tribune says: "_This is a Masterly Treatise by  |
  | the Master of his Profession_--the ripened product of forty  |
  | years' experience in Handling, Training, Riding, and Driving |
  | the Trotting Horse. There is no book like It in any language |
  |             on the subject of which it treats."              |
  |                                                              |
  |  BONNER says in the _Ledger_, "It is a book for which every  |
  |   man who owns a horse ought to subscribe. The information   |
  | which it contains is worth ten times its cost." For sale by  |
  | all booksellers, or single copies sent post-paid on receipt  |
  |                          of price.                           |
  |                                                              |
  |               Agents wanted. J. B. FORD & CO.,               |
  |                                                              |
  |               Printing-House Square, New-York,               |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |                   Thomas J. Rayner & Co;,                    |
  |                                                              |
  |                      29 LIBERTY STREET,                      |
  |                                                              |
  |                          New-York,                           |
  |                                                              |
  |                     MANUFACTURERS OF THE                     |
  |                                                              |
  |          _Finest Cigars made in the United States_.          |
  |                                                              |
  | All sizes and styles. Prices very moderate. Samples sent to  |
  |         any responsible house. Also importers of the         |
  |                                                              |
  |                      _"FUSBOS" BRAND_,                       |
  |                                                              |
  | Equal in quality to the best of the Havana market, and from  |
  |               ten to twenty per cent cheaper.                |
  |                                                              |
  | Restaurant, Bar, Hotel, and Saloon trade will save money by  |
  |                          calling at                          |
  |                                                              |
  |                      29 LIBERTY STREET.                      |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |                      Notice to Ladies.                       |
  |                                                              |
  |                           DIBBLEE,                           |
  |                                                              |
  |                       Of 854 Broadway,                       |
  |                                                              |
  |    Has just received a large assortment of all the latest    |
  |                          styles of                           |
  |                                                              |
  |                 Chignons, Chatelaines, etc.,                 |
  |                                                              |
  |                         FROM PARIS,                          |
  |                                                              |
  |        Comprising the following beautiful varieties:         |
  |                                                              |
  |            La Coquette, La Plenitude, Le Bouquet,            |
  |                                                              |
  |               La Sirene, L'Imperatrice, etc.,                |
  |                                                              |
  |              At prices varying from $2 upward.               |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |                       WEVILL & HAMMAR,                       |
  |                                                              |
  |                       Wood Engravers,                        |
  |                                                              |
  |                      No. 208 BROADWAY,                       |
  |                                                              |
  |                          NEW-YORK.                           |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |                         PUNCHINELLO.                         |
  |                                                              |
  |   With a large and varied experience in the management and   |
  | publication of a paper of the class herewith submitted, and  |
  |  with the still more positive advantage of an Ample Capital  |
  |               to justify the undertaking, the                |
  |                                                              |
  |                  PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO.                  |
  |                                                              |
  |           Presents to the public for approval, the           |
  |                                                              |
  |            NEW ILLUSTRATED HUMOROUS AND SATIRICAL            |
  |                                                              |
  |                        WEEKLY PAPER,                         |
  |                                                              |
  |                         PUNCHINELLO,                         |
  |                                                              |
  | The first number of which will be Issued under date of April |
  |               2, 1870, and thereafter weekly.                |
  |                                                              |
  |  PUNCHINELLO will be _National_, and not _local_; and will   |
  |   endeavor to become a household word in all parts of the    |
  |            country; and to that end has secured a            |
  |                                                              |
  |                VALUABLE CORPS OF CONTRIBUTORS                |
  |                                                              |
  |   in various sections of the Union, while its columns will   |
  |    always be open to appropriate first-class literary and    |
  |                       artistic talent.                       |
  |                                                              |
  |  PUNCHINELLO will be entirely original; humorous and witty,  |
  | without vulgarity, and satirical without malice. It will be  |
  | printed on a superior tinted paper of sixteen pages, size 13 |
  |  by 9, and will be for sale by all respectable newsdealers   |
  | who have the judgment to know a good thing when they see it, |
  |             or by subscription from this office.             |
  |                                                              |
  |    The Artistic department will be in charge of Henry L.     |
  |  Stephens, whose celebrated cartoons in VANITY FAIR placed   |
  |    him in the front rank of humorous artists, assisted by    |
  |       leading artists in their respective specialties.       |
  |                                                              |
  | The management of the paper will be in the hands of WILLIAM  |
  | A. STEPHENS, with whom is associated CHARLES DAWSON SHANLY,  |
  |        both of whom were identified with VANITY FAIR.        |
  |                                                              |
  |                      ORIGINAL ARTICLES,                      |
  |                                                              |
  | Suitable for the paper, and Original Designs, or suggestive  |
  |   ideas sketches for illustrations, upon the topics of the   |
  | day, are always acceptable, and will be paid for liberally.  |
  |                                                              |
  |     Rejected communications can not be returned, unless      |
  |                 postage-stamps are inclosed.                 |
  |                                                              |
  |                            Terms:                            |
  |                                                              |
  |             One copy, per year, in advance $4.00             |
  |                                                              |
  |                  Single copies, ten cents.                   |
  |                                                              |
  | A specimen copy will be mailed free upon the receipt of ten  |
  |                            cents.                            |
  |                                                              |
  | One copy, with the Riverside Magazine, or any other magazine |
  |               or paper, price, $2.50, for 5.50               |
  |                                                              |
  |  One copy, with any magazine or paper, price, $4, for 7.00   |
  |                                                              |
  |  All communications, remittances, etc., to be addressed to   |
  |                                                              |
  |                  PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO,                  |
  |                                                              |
  |                    No. 83 Nassau Street,                     |
  |                                                              |
  |                          NEW-YORK.                           |
  |                                                              |
  |                       P. O. Box, 2783.                       |
  |                                                              |
  |            _(For terms to Clubs, see 16th page.)_            |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |                     Mercantile Library,                      |
  |                                                              |
  |                  Clinton Hall, Astor Place,                  |
  |                                                              |
  |                          NEW-YORK.                           |
  |                                                              |
  | This is now the largest circulating Library In America, the  |
  |  number of volumes on its shelves being 114,000. About 1000  |
  |  volumes are added each month; and very large purchases are  |
  |              made of all new and popular works.              |
  |                                                              |
  |  Books are delivered at members' residences for five cents   |
  |                        each delivery.                        |
  |                                                              |
  |                     TERMS OF MEMBERSHIP:                     |
  |                                                              |
  |                          TO CLERKS,                          |
  |                                                              |
  |                $1 Initiation, $3 Annual Dues.                |
  |                                                              |
  |                    TO OTHERS, $5 a year.                     |
  |                                                              |
  |             SUBSCRIPTIONS TAKEN FOR SIX MONTHS.              |
  |                                                              |
  |                        BRANCH OFFICES                        |
  |                                                              |
  |                              AT                              |
  |                                                              |
  |                NO. 76 CEDAR STREET, NEW-YORK,                |
  |                                                              |
  |                            AND AT                            |
  |                                                              |
  |          Yonkers, Norwalk, Stamford, and Elizabeth.          |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |                           AMERICAN                           |
  |                                                              |
  |                   BUTTONHOLE, OVERSEAMING,                   |
  |                                                              |
  |                             AND                              |
  |                                                              |
  |                     SEWING-MACHINE CO.,                      |
  |                                                              |
  |               572 and 574 Broadway, New-York.                |
  |                                                              |
  |   This great combination machine is the last and greatest    |
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  |                                                              |
  |                   BUTTON AND EYELET HOLES:                   |
  |                                                              |
  |                       in all fabrics.                        |
  |                                                              |
  |                Machine, with finely finished                 |
  |                                                              |
  |                 OILED WALNUT TABLE AND COVER                 |
  |                                                              |
  |  complete, $75. Same machine, without the buttonhole parts,  |
  | $60, This last is beyond all question the simplest, easiest  |
  |    to manage and to keep in order, of any machine in the     |
  |  market. Machines warranted, and full instruction given to   |
  |                         purchasers.                          |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+
  |                                                              |
  |                         HENRY SPEAR                          |
  |                                                              |
  |                     STATIONER, PRINTER,                      |
  |                                                              |
  |                             AND                              |
  |                                                              |
  |                   BLANK BOOK MANUFACTURER.                   |
  |                                                              |
  |                        ACCOUNT BOOKS                         |
  |                                                              |
  |                        MADE TO ORDER.                        |
  |                                                              |
  |                PRINTING OF EVERY DESCRIPTION.                |
  |                                                              |
  |                       82 Wall Street,                        |
  |                                                              |
  |                          NEW-YORK.                           |
  |                                                              |
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+


[Illustration: THE WARNING OF THE BELLE

LOOK OUT FOR THE TRAIN]

       *       *       *       *       *

PATRIOTIC ADORATION.

A TALE OF PHILADELPHIA.

    People of the Quaker City,
      How the world must stand aghast
    At your wondrous veneration
      For those relics of the past,
    Kept in such precise condition,
      Fostered with such tender care--
    Don't, oh! don't the Philadelphians
    Love old Independence Square?

    Splendid are its walks and grass-plots
      Where the bootblacks base-ball play,
    And its seats resembling toad-stools,
      On which loafers lounge all day,
    Waiting for their luck, or gazing
      At the office of the Mayor--
    Don't, oh! don't the Philadelphians
      Love old Independence Square?

    Then, behold the fine old State-house
      Cleanly kept inside and out,
    Where the faithful office-holders
      Squirt tobacco-juice about:
    Placards highly ornamental
      Decorate its outward wall--
    Don't, oh! don't the Philadelphians
      Love old Independence Hall?

    O! ye gods and little fishes!
      Could bill-sticker be so vile
    As to paste up nasty posters
      On the sacred classic pile?
    Greece and Rome yet have their relics,
      But what are they? very small.
    Never half so venerated
      As old Independence Hall.

       *       *       *       *       *

PERIODICAL LITERATURE.

PUNCHINELLO has hitherto refrained from criticising the periodicals of
the day, from the mistaken idea that superlative excellence was not
expected in every number of every daily or weekly journal in the land.
He did not know that, if every such journal was not edited so as to suit
the comprehension of all classes of cursory critics, it should be
unqualifiedly condemned. Supposing that a painter should not condemn a
paper for publishing a musical article beyond his comprehension, and
that an architect ought not to get in a rage because he finds in his
favorite journal a paper on beavers which makes him feel insignificant,
PUNCHINELLO has generally looked around upon his fellow-journalists, and
thought them very good fellows, who generally published very good
papers. He did not find superlative excellence in any of their issues,
but then he did not look for it. He might as well pretend to look for
that in the journalists themselves, or in society at large. But he has
lately learned, from the critics of the period, that he ought to look
for it, and that it is the proper thing nowadays to pitch into every
journal which does not, in every part, please every body, whether they
be smart or dull; those quick of appreciation, or those slow gentlemen
who always come in with their congratulations upon the birth of a joke
at the time its funeral is taking place. And so, PUNCHINELLO will do as
others do, and will occasionally view, from the loop-hole in his
curtain, the successes and failures of his neighbors, and will give his
patrons the benefit of his observations.

The first thing he notices to-day is, that the _Evening Snail_ of last
night is not so good as it was a fortnight ago; or, let us think a
bit--it may have been a good number at the beginning of last month that
he was thinking of; at all events, this last issue is inferior. The
matter on the first page is not printed in nearly as good type as the
original periodicals had it, and while the letters in the heading are
quite fair, it is very noticeable that the I's are very defective, and
there is no C in it. The "Gleanings" are excellent, and it would be
advisable to have more of them--if indeed such a thing were possible in
this case. The spider-work inside shows no acquaintance with the
writings of BACH or GLIDDON, and there is nothing about the Spectrum
Analysis in any part of the paper. Besides, the paper is too stiff and
rattles too much, and PUNCHINELLO could never abide the color of the
editor's pantaloons. Why will not people dress and write so that every
body can admire and understand them. Especially in regard to witty
things and breastpins They ought to be loud, overpowering, and so
glaring that people could not help seeing them. And they ought to be a
little cheap, too, or average people won't comprehend them. In both
cases paste (and scissors) pays better than diamonds. The reports of
private parties in the _Snail_ are, however, very good, and if it would
confine its original matter to such subjects, it could not fail to
succeed.

       *       *       *       *       *

A Query for Physicians.

Are people's tastes apt to become Vichy-ated by the excessive use of
certain mineral waters?

       *       *       *       *       *

"Behold, how Pleasant a Thing 't is," etc.

Boston has a couple of clergymen who have fallen out upon matters not
precisely theological. In the summer, the Rev. Mr. MURRAY leaves his
sheep, to shoot deer by torchlight in the Adirondacks. This the Rev. Mr.
ALGER, in addressing the Suppression of Cruelty to Animals Society,
denounces as extremely wicked. From all which Mr. PUNCHINELLO, taking up
his discourse, infers,

_First_. That it is a great deal more wicked to shoot deer by torchlight
than by daylight.

_Secondly_. That the Rev. MURRAY and the Rev. ALGER are of different
religious persuasions.

_Thirdly and lastly_. That the Rev. Mr. ALGER doesn't love venison.

P. S.  Persons desiring to present Mr. PUNCHINELLO with a fine haunch,
(in the season,) may shoot it by daylight, moonlight, torchlight, or by
a Drummond light, as most convenient.

       *       *       *       *       *

We are indebted to Mr. SARONY for a number of brilliant photographs of
celebrities of the day. Lovely woman is well represented the batch, with
all the characters of which PUNCHINELLO hopes to present his readers,
from time to time.

       *       *       *       *       *

Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the
PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District
Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New-York.

       *       *       *       *       *

[Illustration: ALL ABOARD FOR HOLLAND!]

PUNCHINELLO understands that a performance is soon to take place at the
Academy of Music, for the benefit of GEORGE HOLLAND, the well-known and
ever-green "veteran" of "the stage." It pleases PUNCHINELLO to know that
a combination of talent and beauty is to be brought together for so
worthy a purpose. Seventy-four years ago, when GEORGE HOLLAND was a
small child, PUNCHINELLO used to dandle him upon his knee. Hardly four
years have passed since PUNCHINELLO was convulsed by the _Tony Lumpkin_
of HOLLAND. He distinctly remembers, too, administering hot whiskey
punch to little boy HOLLAND with a tea-spoon, which may in some measure
account for the Spirit subsequently infused by the capital comedian into
the numerous bits of character presented by him. Considering these
facts, it is manifestly an incumbent duty on the part of PUNCHINELLO to
request