



Produced by Clare Graham




The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage

Describing Modern Manners and Customs of Courtship and Marriage, and
giving Full Details regarding the Wedding Ceremony and Arrangements


By G.R.M. Devereux
Author of "Etiquette for Women," etc, etc.


First published January 1903

This etext prepared from the reprint of March 1919 published by C.
Arthur Pearson Ltd., Henrietta Street London and printed by Neill
and Co. Ltd., Edinburgh.



LIST OF CONTENTS

                                                         PAGE

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS      13

CHAPTER I
THE BEGINNINGS OF COURTSHIP--FAVOURABLE OPPORTUNITIES--INTELLECTUAL
AFFINITY--ARTISTIC FELLOWSHIP--ATHLETIC COMRADESHIP--AMATEUR
ACTING--SOCIAL INTERCOURSE--DIFFERENT IDEAS OF ETIQUETTE      16

CHAPTER II
INTRODUCTIONS--RECOGNITION OF AFFINITY, OR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT--HOW TO
FOLLOW UP AN ACQUAINTANCE--KINDLY OFFICES OF RELATIONS AND
FRIENDS      21

CHAPTER III
INTERCOURSE BETWEEN UNCONFESSED LOVERS--THE QUESTION OF
PRESENTS--EXCHANGE OF HOSPITALITY--THE MAN WHO LIVES AT HOME--THE MAN
IN ROOMS      25

CHAPTER IV
INTERCOURSE WITH (1) THE HOME GIRL; (2) THE BACHELOR GIRL; (3) THE
BUSINESS GIRL; (4) THE STUDENT OR PROFESSIONAL GIRL--FRIENDS WHO
BECOME LOVERS      30

CHAPTER V
FLIRTS, MALE AND FEMALE--HE CHANGES HIS MIND ON THE VERGE OF A
PROPOSAL--HOW SHE ACCEPTS THE SITUATION--HOW SHE MAY GIVE
ENCOURAGEMENT OR WARD OFF AN UNWELCOME OFFER      36

CHAPTER VI
THE QUESTION OF AGE--YOUNG LOVERS--YOUNG MEN WHO WOO MATURITY--OLD MEN
WHO COURT YOUTH--MIDDLE-AGED LOVERS      41

CHAPTER VII
PROPOSALS: PREMEDITATED, SPONTANEOUS, PRACTICAL, OR ROMANTIC--NO RULE
POSSIBLE--TACT WANTED IN CHOICE OF OPPORTUNITY--UNSEEMLY HASTE AN
INSULT TO A WOMAN--KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR DANGEROUS TO SENTIMENT--SOME
THINGS TO AVOID--VAGUELY WORDED OFFERS--WHEN SHE MAY TAKE THE
INITIATIVE      46

CHAPTER VIII
ENGAGEMENTS--THE ATTITUDE OF PARENTS AND GUARDIANS--MAKING IT KNOWN IN
THE FAMILY, TO OUTSIDE FRIENDS--CONGRATULATIONS--THE CHOICE AND GIVING
OF THE RING--MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH FUTURE RELATIONS-IN-LAW,
PERSONALLY OR BY LETTER      51

CHAPTER IX
HIS VISITS TO HER HOME--THE ENGAGED COUPLE IN PUBLIC--IN
SOCIETY--VISITING AT THE SAME HOUSE---GOING ABOUT TOGETHER,
ETC.--THE QUESTION OF EXPENSES      56

CHAPTER X
LOVE-LETTERS--LONG OR SHORT ENGAGEMENTS--BROKEN
ENGAGEMENTS--CLANDESTINE ENGAGEMENTS--JUSTIFIABLE IN CERTAIN
CASES--WHERE THE MOTHER SHARES THE SECRET--FRIENDS WHO ACT AS
GO-BETWEEN      60

CHAPTER XI
FOREIGN ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS--BETROTHAL MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN IN
ENGLAND      65

CHAPTER XII
MARRIAGE--FIXING THE DAY--PREPARATIONS--SELECTING THE BRIDESMAIDS AND
THEIR DRESSES--BUYING THE WEDDING-GOWN--THE
TROUSSEAU--INVITATIONS      71

CHAPTER XIII
WEDDING PRESENTS--CHOOSING AND FURNISHING THE HOUSE--WHAT THE
BRIDEGROOM SUPPLIES--THE BRIDE'S SHARE IN THE MATTER      77

CHAPTER XIV
THE NATURE OF THE CEREMONY, RELIGIOUS OR CIVIL--BANNS OR
LICENSE--LEGAL FORMALITIES--SETTLEMENTS, ETC.      81

CHAPTER XV
THE WEDDING-DAY--WHAT IS EXPECTED OF (1) THE BRIDE; (2) THE
BRIDESMAIDS; (3) THE BRIDEGROOM; (4) THE BEST MAN; (5) THE BRIDE'S
PARENTS--AT THE BRIDE'S HOUSE--DRESSING--STARTING FOR THE
CHURCH--THE TYING OF THE KNOT--SOCIAL ASPECT--RECEPTION OR
BREAKFAST      86

CHAPTER XVI
THE GUESTS--THE WEDDING PRESENTS ON VIEW--STARTING FOR THE
HONEYMOON--DRESS AND LUGGAGE