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                          Bringing up the Boy




[Illustration]

 “GIVE HIM THE LIGHT
       TELL HIM THE TRUTH
            SHOW HIM THE WAY!”




                          Bringing up the Boy

                   A Message to Fathers and Mothers
                  from a Boy of Yesterday concerning
                         the Men of To-morrow


                                  By
                              CARL WERNER


                            [Illustration]


                               New York
                        Dodd, Mead and Company
                                 1913




                          Copyright, 1911, by
                   THE BUTTERICK PUBLISHING COMPANY

                          Copyright, 1913, by
                        DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY

                        Published, March, 1913




                                  TO

                          Mary Morris Werner

                             A GOOD MOTHER
                 WHOSE FINE SYMPATHY, KEEN PERCEPTION,
                 AND DEVOUT SENSE OF DUTY ARE MOULDING
                           THE CHARACTER OF

                            AN AMERICAN BOY

                THIS VOLUME IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED




CONTENTS


 CHAPTER                                     PAGE
        FOREWORD                               xi
      I FROM BABY TO BOY                        3
     II THE SIMPLICITY OF DISCIPLINE           17
    III AS THE TWIG IS BENT                    33
     IV A TALK AT CHRISTMAS TIME               48
      V THE DYNASTY OF THE DIME NOVEL          63
     VI THE SIN OF SEX SECRECY                 77
    VII THE WEED AND THE WINECUP               91
   VIII OUT INTO THE WORLD                    104




                There; my blessing with thee!
    And these few precepts in thy memory
    See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
    Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
    Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
    Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
    Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
    But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
    Of each new-hatch’d, unfledged comrade. Beware
    Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
    Bear’t that the opposed may beware of thee.
    Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
    Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
    Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
    But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
    For the apparel oft proclaims the man.
    Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
    For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
    And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
    This above all: To thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man.

                              --Polonius to his son.
                                  _Hamlet_, Act I, Scene 3.




FOREWORD


A good portion of the material in this volume was printed in serial
form in _The Delineator_, to whose editors and publishers I am deeply
indebted for the sympathy and encouragement that were necessary to
bring my ideas on boy training into the circle of general parenthood.
As a result of the publicity gained through the medium of that
magazine’s wide circulation, many letters were received by the magazine
and by myself; and in this mass of correspondence there was a distinct
note of appeal for the publication of the essays between covers. It was
quite without any knowledge of this demand, however, that the present
publishers, acting independently, became interested in the series, and
decided, after due consideration, to issue it in book form.

It was surprising that of the many letters received while these
articles were appearing serially, only a small minority of the writers
disagreed with my views, and those few protests were confined to one
or two subjects. So far as could be reasonably expected of one whose
time is much occupied in pursuing a livelihood, I replied to all such
communications. If in some instances I failed, the omission was not
because I was lacking in a keen appreciation of the interest, the
sympathy, the suggestions and the criticisms thus expressed. As to
those who disagreed with me, I would like to repeat here what I have
said to them in personal replies: They may be right, and I wrong.
This much only, I know--That Providence is kind in that He permits
me to retain a distinct picture of the boy’s cosmos; that as a man
and a father I can still see--and feel--from the boy’s viewpoint; and
that, preserving that visuality, I have tried, with the best judgment
and most constant effort of which I am capable, to employ it for the
greatest good. Everything that I have written about boy training is
solidly fixed on this foundation; and everything that I have written
has been or is being employed, to the very letter, in my stewardship
of one who is infinitely more precious to me than life itself--my
own boy. If I have erred, may God forgive me; but on this score my
conscience is as clear as a crystal pool, for so far as human vision
penetrates not one duty has been left undone and not one endeavour has
gone astray. And happily, though I say it with a prayer on my lips and
humility in my heart, every passing year adds its living testimony to
the principles which I advocate and for which