



Produced by David Widger





SKETCHES NEW AND OLD

by Mark Twain

Part 7.



FIRST INTERVIEW WITH ARTEMUS WARD--[Written about 1870.]

I had never seen him before.  He brought letters of introduction from
mutual friends in San Francisco, and by invitation I breakfasted with
him.  It was almost religion, there in the silver-mines, to precede such
a meal with whisky cocktails.  Artemus, with the true cosmopolitan
instinct, always deferred to the customs of the country he was in, and so
he ordered three of those abominations.  Hingston was present.  I said I
would rather not drink a whisky cocktail.  I said it would go right to my
head, and confuse me so that I would be in a helpless tangle in ten
minutes.  I did not want to act like a lunatic before strangers.  But
Artemus gently insisted, and I drank the treasonable mixture under
protest, and felt all the time that I was doing a thing I might be sorry
for.  In a minute or two I began to imagine that my ideas were clouded.
I waited in great anxiety for the conversation to open, with a sort of
vague hope that my understanding would prove clear, after all, and my
misgivings groundless.

Artemus dropped an unimportant remark or two, and then assumed a look of
superhuman earnestness, and made the following astounding speech.  He
said:

"Now there is one thing I ought to ask you about before I forget it.  You
have been here in Silver land--here in Nevada--two or three years, and,
of course, your position on the daily press has made it necessary for you
to go down in the mines and examine them carefully in detail