MAGICAL MONARCH OF MO AND HIS PEOPLE***


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THE SURPRISING ADVENTURES OF THE MAGICAL MONARCH OF MO AND HIS PEOPLE

by

L. FRANK BAUM

With pictures by Frank Ver Beck

1903







To the Comrade of my
boyhood days
Dr. Henry Clay Baum



TO THE READER

This book has been written for children. I have no shame in
acknowledging that I, who wrote it, am also a child; for since I can
remember my eyes have always grown big at tales of the marvelous, and
my heart is still accustomed to go pit-a-pat when I read of impossible
adventures. It is the nature of children to scorn realities, which
crowd into their lives all too quickly with advancing years. Childhood
is the time for fables, for dreams, for joy.

These stories are not true; they could no be true and be so marvelous.
No one is expected to believe them; they were meant to excite laughter
and to gladden the heart.

Perhaps some of those big, grown-up people will poke fun of us--at you
for reading these nonsense tales of the Magical Monarch, and at me for
writing them. Never mind. Many of the big folk are still children--even
as you and I. We cannot measure a child by a standard of size or age.
The big folk who are children will be our comrades; the others we need
not consider at all, for they are self-exiled from our domain.

             L. FRANK BAUM.

June, 1903.



CONTENTS


THE FIRST SURPRISE
The Beautiful Valley of Mo

THE SECOND SURPRISE
The Strange Adventures of the King's Head

THE THIRD SURPRISE
The Tramp Dog and the Monarch's Lost Temper

THE FOURTH SURPRISE
The Peculiar Pains of Fruit Cake Island

THE FIFTH SURPRISE
The Monarch Celebrates His Birthday

THE SIXTH SURPRISE
King Scowleyow and His Cast-Iron Man

THE SEVENTH SURPRISE
Timtom and the Princess Pattycake

THE EIGHTH SURPRISE
The Bravery of Prince Jollikin

THE NINTH SURPRISE
The Wizard and the Princess

THE TENTH SURPRISE
The Duchess Bredenbutta's Visit to Turvyland

THE ELEVENTH SURPRISE
Prince Fiddlecumdoo and the Giant

THE TWELFTH SURPRISE
The Land of the Civilized Monkeys

THE THIRTEENTH SURPRISE
The Stolen Plum-Pudding

THE FOURTEENTH SURPRISE
The Punishment of the Purple Dragon




_The First Surprise_

THE BEAUTIFUL VALLEY OF MO


I dare say there are several questions you would like to ask at the
very beginning of this history. First: Who is the Monarch of Mo? And
why is he called the Magical Monarch? And where _is_ Mo, anyhow? And
why have you never heard of it before? And can it be reached by a
railroad or a trolley-car, or must one walk all the way?

These questions I realize should be answered before we (that "we" means
you and the book) can settle down for a comfortable reading of all the
wonders and astonishing adventures I shall endeavor faithfully to
relate.

In the first place, the Monarch of Mo is a very pleasant personage
holding the rank of King. He is not very tall, nor is he very short; he
is midway between fat and lean; he is delightfully jolly when he is not
sad, and seldom sad if he can possibly be jolly. How old he may be I
have never dared to inquire; but when we realize that he is destined to
live as long as the Valley of Mo exists we may reasonably suppose the
Monarch of Mo is exactly as old as his native land. And no one in Mo
has ever reckoned up the years to see how many they have been. So we
will just say that the Monarch of Mo and the Valley of Mo are each a
part of the other, and can not be separated.

He is not called the Magical Monarch because he deals in magic--for he
doesn't deal in magic. But he leads such a queer life in such a queer
country that his history will surely seem magical to us who inhabit the
civilized places of the world and think that anything we can not find a
reason for must be due to magic. The life of the Monarch of Mo seems
simple enough to him, you may be sure, for he knows no other existence.
And our ways of living, could he know of them, would doubtless astonish
him greatly.

The land of Mo, which is ruled by the King we call the Magical Monarch,
is often spoken of as the "Beautiful Valley." If they would only put it
on the maps of our geographies and paint it pink or light green, and
print a big round dot where the King's castle stands, it would be easy
enough to point out to you its exact location. But I can not find the
Valley of Mo in any geography I have examined; so I suspect the men who
made these instructive books really know nothing about Mo, else it
would surely be on the maps.

Of one thing I am certain: that no other country included in the maps
is so altogether delightful as the Beautiful Valley of Mo.

The sun shines all the time, and its rays are perfumed. The people who
live in the Valley do not sleep, because there is no night. Everything
they can possibly need grows on the trees, so they have no use for
money at all, and that saves them a deal of worry.

There are no poor people in this quaint Valley. When a person desires a
new hat he waits till one is ripe, and then picks it and wears it
without asking anybody's permission. If a lady wishes a new ring, she
examines carefully those upon the ring-tree, and when she finds one
that fits her finger she picks it and wears it upon her hand. In this
way they procure all they desire.

There are two rivers in the Land of Mo, one of which flows milk of a
very rich quality. Some of the islands in Milk River are made of
excellent cheese, and the people are welcome to spade up this cheese
whenever they wish to eat it. In the little pools near the bank, where
the current does not flow swiftly, delicious cream rises to the top of
the milk, and instead of water-lilies great strawberry leaves grow upon
the surface, and the ripe, red berries lie dipping their noses into the
cream, as if inviting you to come and eat them. The sand that forms the
river bank is pure white sugar, and all kinds of candies and bonbons
grow thick on the low bushes, so that any one may pluck them easily.

These are only a few of the remarkable things that exist in the
Beautiful Valley.

The people are merry, light-hearted folk, who live in beautiful houses
of pure crystal, where they can rest themselves and play their games
and go in when it rains. For it rains in Mo as it does everywhere else,
only it rains lemonade; and the lightning in the sky resembles the most
beautiful fireworks; and the thunder is usually a chorus from the opera
of Tannhauser.

No one ever dies in this Valley, and the people are always young and
beautiful. There is the King and a Queen, besides several princes and
princesses. But it is not much use being a prince in Mo, because the
King can not die; therefore a prince is a prince to the end of his
days, and his days never end.

Strange things occur in this strange land, as you may imagine; and
while I relate some of these you will learn more of the peculiar
features of the Beautiful Valley.



_The Second Surprise_

THE STRANGE ADVENTURES OF THE KING'S HEAD


A good many years ago, the Magical Monarch of Mo became annoyed by the
Purple Dragon, which came down from the mountains and ate up a patch of
his best chocolate caramels just as they were getting ripe.

So the King went out to the sword-tree and picked a long, sharp sword,
and tied it to his belt and went away to the mountains to fight the
Purple Dragon.

The people all applauded him, saying one to another:

"Our King is a good King. He will destroy this naughty Purple Dragon
and we shall be able to eat the caramels ourselves."

But the Dragon was not alone naughty; it was big, and fierce, and
strong, and did not want to be destroyed at all.

Therefore the King had a terrible fight with the Purple Dragon and cut
it with his sword in several places, so that the raspberry juice which
ran in its veins squirted all over the ground.

It is always difficult to kill Dragons. They are by nature
thick-skinned and tough, as doubtless every one has heard. Besides, you
must not forget that this was a Purple Dragon, and all scientists who
have studied deeply the character of Dragons say those of a purple
color at the most disagreeable to fight with. So all the King's cutting
and slashing had no effect upon the monster other than to make him
angry. Forgetful of the respect due to a crowned King, the wicked
Dragon presently opening wide its jaws and bit his Majesty's head clean
off his body. Then he swallowed it.

Of course the King realized it was useless to continue to fight after
that, for he could not see where the Dragon was. So he turned and tried
to find his way back to his people. But at every other step he would
bump into a tree, which made the naughty Dragon laugh at him.
Furthermore, he could not tell in which direction he was going, which
is an unpleasant feeling under any circumstances.

At last some of the people came to see if the King had succeeded in
destroying the Dragon, and found their monarch running around in a
circle, bumping into trees and rocks, but not getting a step nearer
home. SO they took his hand and led him back to the palace, where every
one was filled with sorrow at the sad sight of the headless King.
Indeed, his devoted subjects, for the first time in their lives, came
as near to weeping as an inhabitant of the Valley of Mo can.

"Never mind," said the King, cheerfully; "I can get along very well
without a head; and, as a matter of fact, the loss has its advantages.
I shall not be obliged to brush my hair, or clean my teeth, or wash my
ears. So do not grieve, I beg of you, but be happy and joyful as you
were before." Which showed the King had a good heart; and, after all, a
good heart is better than a head, any say.

The people, hearing him speak out of his neck (for he had no mouth),
immediately began to laugh, which in a short time led to their being as
happy as ever.

But the Queen was not contented.

"My love," she said to him, "I can not kiss you any more, and that will
break my heart."

Thereupon the King sent word throughout the Valley that any one who
could procure for him a new head should wed one of the princesses.

The princesses were all exceedingly pretty girls, and so it was not
long before one man made a very nice head out of candy and brought it
to the King. It did not look exactly like the old head, but the efface
was very sweet, nevertheless; so the King put it on and the Queen
kissed it at once with much satisfaction.

The young man had put a pair of glass eyes in the head, with which the
King could see very well after he got used to them.

According to the royal promise, the young man was now called into the
palace and asked to take his pick of the princesses. There were all so
sweet and lady-like that he had some trouble in making a choice; but at
last he took the biggest, thinking that he would thus secure the
greatest reward, and they were married amid great rejoicing.

But, a few days afterward, the King was caught out in a rainstorm, and
before he could get home his new head had melted in the great shower of
lemonade that fell. Only the glass eyes were left, and these he put in
his pocket and went sorrowfully to tell the Queen of his new
misfortune.

Then another young man who wanted to marry a princess made the King a
head out of dough, sticking in it the glass eyes; and the King tried it
on and found that it fitted very well. So the young man was given the
next biggest princess.

But the following day the sun chance to shine extremely hot, and when
the King walked out it baked his dough head into bread, at which the
monarch felt very light-headed. And when the birds saw the bread they
flew down from the trees, perched upon the King's shoulder and quickly
ate up his new head. All but the glass eyes.

Again the good King was forced to go home to the Queen without a head,
and the lady firmly declared that this time her husband must have a
head warranted to last at least as long as the honeymoon of the young
man who made it; which was not at all unreasonable under the
circumstances.

So a request was sent to all loyal subjects throughout the Valley
asking them to find a head for their King that was neat and
substantial.

In the meantime the King had a rather hard time of it. When he wished
to go any place he was obliged to hold out in front of him, between his
thumbs and fingers, the glass eyes, that they might guide his
footsteps. This, as you may imagine, made his Majesty look rather
undignified, and dignity is very important to every royal personage.

At last a wood-chopper in the mountains made a head out of wood and
sent it to the King. It was neatly carved, besides being solid and
durable; moreover, it fitted the monarch's neck to the T. So the King
rummaged in his pocket and found the glass eyes, and when these were
put in the new head the King announced his satisfaction.

There was only one drawback--he couldn't smile, as the wooden face was
too stiff; and it was funny to hear his Majesty laughing heartily while
his face maintained a solemn expression. But the glass eyes twinkled
merrily and every one knew that he was the same kind-hearted monarch of
old, although he had become, of necessity, rather hard-headed.

Then the King sent word to the wood-chopper to come to the palace and
take his pick of the princesses, and preparations were at once begun
for the wedding.

But the wood-chopper, on his way to the court, unfortunately passed by
the dwelling of the Purple Dragon and stopped to speak to the monster.

Now it seems that when the Dragon had swallowed the King's head, the
unusual meal made the beast ill. It was more accustomed to berries and
caramels for dinner than to heads, and the sharp points of the King's
crown (which was firmly fastened to the head) pricked the Dragon's
stomach and made the creature miserable. After a few days of suffering
the Dragon disgorged the head, and, not knowing what else to do with
it, locked it up in a cupboard and put the key in its pocket.

When the Dragon met the wood-chopper and learned he had made a new head
for the King, and as a reward was to wed one of the princesses, the
monster became very angry. It resolved to do a wicked thing; which will
not surprise you when you remember the beast's purple color.

"Step into my parlor and rest yourself," said the Dragon, politely.
Wicked people are most polite when they mean mischief.

"Thank you, I'll stop for a few minutes," replied the wood-chopper;
"but I can not stay long, as I am expected at court."

When he had entered the parlor the Dragon suddenly opened its mouth and
snapped off the poor wood-chopper's head. Being warned by experience,
however, it did not swallow the head, but placed it in the cupboard.
Then the Dragon took from a shelf the King's head and glued it on the
wood-chopper's neck.

"Now," said the beast, with a cruel laugh, "you are the King! Go home
and claim your wife and your kingdom."

The poor wood-chopper was much amazed; for at first he did not really
know which he was, the King or the wood-chopper.

He looked in the mirror and, seeing the King, made a low bow. Then the
King's head thought: "Who am I bowing to? There is no one greater than
the King!" And so at once there began a conflict between the
wood-chopper's heart and the King's head.

The Dragon was mightily pleased at the result of its wicked stratagem,
and having pushed the bewildered wood-chopper out of the castle,
immediately sent him on his way to the court.

When the poor man neared the town the people ran out and said: "Why,
this is the King come back again. All hail, your Majesty!"

"All nonsense!" returned the wood-chopper. "I am only a poor man with
the King's head on my shoulders. You can easily see it isn't mine, for
it's crooked; the Dragon didn't glue it on straight."

"Where, then, is your own head?" they asked.

"Locked up in the Dragon's cupboard," replied the poor fellow,
beginning to weep.

"Here," cried the King's head; "stop this. You mustn't cry out of my
eyes! The King never weeps."

"I beg pardon, your Majesty," said the wood-chopper, meekly, "I'll not
do it again."

"Well, see that you don't," returned the head more cheerfully.

The people were greatly amazed at this, and took the wood-chopper to
the palace, where all was soon explained.

When the Queen saw the King's head she immediately kissed it; but the
King rebuked her, saying she must kiss only him.

"But it is your head," said the poor Queen.

"Probably it is," replied the King; "but it is on another man. You must
confine yourself to kissing my wooden head."

"I'm sorry," sighed