



Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive)







Transcriber's Note:

  Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have
  been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.




  [Illustration]

     O, I AM PRINCE OF THE INKY IMPS
       AND KING OF THE BLOTTENTOT CREW;
     MY ANCESTREE HAS A PEDIGREE
       OF A ROYAL PURPLISH HUE.

     ONCE MY LOT WAS A DARK BLUE SPOT
       FLIPPED ON A MILK-WHITE SEA,
     A CREASE AND A FOLD--AND A BUCCANEER BOLD
       OUT JUMPED--AND THAT WAS ME!




     BLOTTENTOTS
     AND HOW TO MAKE THEM

     BY
     JOHN PROSPER CARMEL

     [Illustration:

     If you've never made a
       Blottentot
     This book will help you
       quite a lot!]

     PAUL ELDER AND COMPANY
     SAN FRANCISCO AND NEW YORK




     Copyright, 1907, by Paul Elder & Company.

     Entered at Stationers' Hall, London.




     These were made for Dymphna




  [Illustration]


HOW TO MAKE BLOTTENTOTS


     To make a funny Blottentot,
       First take a piece of paper,
     Splash on some ink, a single spot,
       Crease, press, but cut no caper.

     Don't crease exactly at the blot--
       You'll have a fearful muddle;
     Press gently, too, and not a lot,
       Unless you want a puddle.

     With everything we humans do,
       Practice makes us apter:
     So start at once, you'll find it true
       At the end of your first chapter.




  [Illustration]


A FLIT-FLIT FLITTER


     In the realms of wonderland
       Such flies do gaily flitter,
     But when they're just a blot of ink
       Of course they cannot glitter.

     They flitter, flutter round about,
       These Flitter-Flitter-Flitters,
     O'er dewy flow'ry sunny meads,
       The lightest, brightest critters.




  [Illustration]


A GOBBLE-ME-UP


     Weedy, greedy Gobble-Me-Up,
       Your mouth is a fearful size.
     Do you live on little girls and boys,
       Or merely cakes and pies?




  [Illustration]


TWO BUCKING NIGHTMARES


     Two bucking nightmares ran out to neigh,
     Thinking it night, but found it day,
     So took to their heels in sore dismay,--
     I'm 'fraid they still are running away.




  [Illustration]


STRANGE BUT TRUE


     Now it seems to be scarcely credible,
       A difficult thing to think,
     That such a strange grotesquerie
       Was pressed from a drop of ink.

     But word for word I tell you,
       As true as word can be,
     That in its making there was naught
       But the blindest chancerie.




  [Illustration]


LAW-MAKERS


     Tom and Johnny Make-the-law,
       Talkative and lazy,
     Standing on a Thingumajig
       Comical and crazy.
     You are just a pair of Imps,
     With but one leg that badly limps.




  [Illustration]


MISTRESS NELL


       Gadzooks, Nell Gwynne!
       How did you get in?
     Did you walk or were you brought
         in your chair?
       Your dress is perfection
       To the smallest section
     Of stomacher, quilting and hair.




  [Illustration]


A PROFESSIONAL TIFF


     Said Dr. Spindleshanks,
     "I'll stand no silly pranks!"
     "You're nothing but a prig!"
     Said Dr. Funnywig.
     Then, making each a face,
     They went off at a pace.




  [Illustration]


SAFE AT A DISTANCE


       You big Bugaboo!
       We didn't want you,
     But really now that you've come,
       If you keep far away
       We'll permit you to stay,
     Just as long you keep quite dumb.




  [Illustration]


TEENY AND TINY


     Teeny and Tiny Pugnoses
     Have discovered two beautiful roses,
       But the stems are so tall
       They can't reach them at all,
     Though they stand on the tips
           of their toeses.




  [Illustration]


IMPISH


     You can see by the look of this
           big-footed Sprite,
       That just the one thing that
           affords him delight
     Is to give a high jump and land
           on your toe,
       On the very same spot where
           the biggest corns grow.




  [Illustration]


A LITTLE GRASS <DW40>


     This is a little grass <DW40>,
     As you know a most terrible fidget.
     For a month every year
     He makes it quite clear
     That he is a little grass <DW40>.




  [Illustration]


SIAMESE TWINS?


     I hope they're on pegs,
     Because if they're legs,
     They are altogether shocking.
     They have no feet,
     And almost meet,
     And haven't the sign of a stocking.




  [Illustration]


A KANGAR-ROOSTER-ROO


     Why, here's our dear old hopper,
       Our Kangar-rooster-roo!
     And seeing he's such a whopper,
       I'll certainly not say "Shoo"!

     Then there are two, you see,
       So I'd better hold my peace,
     Or they may sit on me
       And leave me a crumpled crease.




  [Illustration]


A SURPRISE


     A Squidgeecumsquee
       Got up in a tree,
     And found another--
       The fac simile.
     "Oh