



Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer





THE BICKERSTAFF-PARTRIDGE PAPERS

by Jonathan Swift


Jonathan Swift, et al. The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers, etc. Annus
Mirabilis




Predictions For The Year 1708


Wherein the month, and day of the month are set down, the persons named,
and the great actions and events of next year particularly related, as
will come to pass.

Written to prevent the people of England from being farther imposed on
by vulgar almanack-makers.

By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.


I have long consider'd the gross abuse of astrology in this kingdom, and
upon debating the matter with myself, I could not possibly lay the
fault upon the art, but upon those gross impostors, who set up to be the
artists. I know several learned men have contended that the whole is a
cheat; that it is absurd and ridiculous to imagine, the stars can have
any influence at all upon human actions, thoughts, or inclinations: And
whoever has not bent his studies that way, may be excused for thinking
so, when he sees in how wretched a manner that noble art is treated by
a few mean illiterate traders between us and the stars; who import a
yearly stock of nonsense, lyes, folly, and impertinence, which they
offer to the world as genuine from the planets, tho' they descend from
no greater a height than their own brains.

I intend in a short time to publish a large and rational defence of this
art, and therefore shall say no more in its justification at present,
than that it hath been in all ages defended by many learned men, and
among the rest by Socrates himself, whom I look upon as undoubtedly the
wisest of uninspir'd mortals: To which if we add, that those who have
condemned this art, though otherwise learned, having been such as either
did not apply their studies this way, or at least did not succeed in
their applications; their testimony will not be of much weight to
its disadvantage, since they are liable to the common objection of
condemning what they did not understand.

Nor am I at all offended, or think it an injury to the art, when I see
the common dealers in it, the students in astrology, the philomaths, and
the rest of that tribe, treated by wise men with the utmost scorn and
contempt; but rather wonder, when I observe gentlemen in the country,
rich enough to serve the nation in parliament, poring in Partridge's
almanack, to find out the events of the year at home and abroad; not
daring to propose a hunting-match, till Gadbury or he have fixed the
weather.

I will allow either of the two I have mentioned, or any other of the
fraternity, to be not only astrologers, but conjurers too, if I do not
produce a hundred instances in all their almanacks, to convince any
reasonable man, that they do not so much as understand common grammar
and syntax; that they are not able to spell any word out of the usual
road, nor even in their prefaces write common sense or intelligible
English. Then for their observations and predictions, they are such as
will equally suit any age or country in the world. "This month a certain
great person will be threatened with death or sickness." This the
news-papers will tell them; for there we find at the end of the year,
that no month passes without the death of some person of note; and it
would be hard if it should be otherwise, when there are at least two
thousand persons of not in this kingdom, many of them old, and the
almanack-maker has the liberty of chusing the sickliest season of the
year where he may fix his prediction. Again, "This month an eminent
clergyman will be preferr'd;" of which there may be some hundreds half
of them with one foot in the grave. Then "such a planet in such a house
shews great machinations, plots and conspiracies, that may in time
be brought to light:" After which, if we hear of any discovery, the
astrologer gets the honour; if not, his prediction still stands good.
And at last, "God preserve King William from all his open and secret
enemies, Amen." When if the King should happen to have died, the
astrologer plainly foretold it; otherwise it passes but for the pious
ejaculation of a loyal subject: Though it unluckily happen'd in some of
their almanacks, that poor King William was pray'd for many months after
he was dead, because it fell out that he died about the beginning of the
year.

To mention no more of their impertinent predictions: What have we to
do with their advertisements about pills and drink for the venereal
d