



Produced by Sue Asscher





DREAMS

By Olive Schreiner


     To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of
     that which for us is yet sight, not touch.


     Note.

     These Dreams are printed in the order in which they were
     written.

     In the case of two there was a lapse of some years between
     the writing of the first and last parts; these are placed
     according to the date of the first part.

     Olive Schreiner.


        Matjesfontein,
        Cape Colony,
        South Africa.
        November, 1890.




CONTENTS.

     I.     The Lost Joy.

     II.    The Hunter (From "The Story of of an African Farm").

     III.   The Gardens of Pleasure.

     IV.    In a Far-off World.

     V.     Three Dreams in a Desert.

     VI.    A Dream of Wild Bees (Written as a letter to a friend).

     VII.   In a Ruined Chapel.

     VIII.  Life's Gifts.

     IX.    The Artist's Secret.

     X.     "I Thought I Stood."

     XI.    The Sunlight Lay across My Bed.





I. THE LOST JOY.

All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat.

All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face
looked out across the water. She was waiting--she was waiting; but she
could not tell for what.

All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the
pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her
eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee
and fell asleep, waiting still.

Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore--Life
awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed
through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of
Love--and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting.

And Love drew Life up to him.

And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful--Joy, First-Joy
was it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water is not
so glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun's
first kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was
so warm, so soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the
sunshine: and Love and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it
to the other, but deep in its own heart each said, "It shall be ours for
ever."

Then there came a time--was it after weeks? was it after months? (Love
and Life do not measure time)--when the thing was not as it had been.

Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with
purple berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the
little eyes looked out heavily across the water.

And Life and Love dared not look into each other's eyes, dared not say,
"What ails our darling?" Each heart whispered to itself, "It is nothing,
it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear." But tomorrow and
tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but
heavily, more heavily.

One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it
was gone: only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with
wide-open eyes, very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked
apart, weeping bitterly, "Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no
more for ever?"

The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of
each, and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between
them. And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected
in its soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, "I am weary,
I am weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark
is all before," a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon
the hill-sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always
the little brave mouth was smiling quietly.

When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his
garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the
desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over
the hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert
found water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love's lips with. He
was no burden--he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on
their journey.

When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the
rocks--for Love and Life must pass through strange drear places--there,
where all is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands
and held them against his beating little heart, and warmed them--and
softly he drew them on and on.

And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers,
strangely the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face.
Brightly laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the
hollow tree; and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them
water in the leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them
round their heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as
their Joy had touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly.

So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with
that little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered
that first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, "Oh! could we but
find him also!"

At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who
has always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who
steals light out of the past to shed it on the future.

And Life and Love cried out, "O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a
lovely radiant thing belonged to us--gladness without a tear, sunshine
without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall we go
that we may find it?"

And she, the wise old woman, answered, "To have it back, will you give
up that which walks beside you now?"

And in agony Love and Life cried, "No!"

"Give up this!" said Life. "When the thorns have pierced me, who will
suck the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands
upon it and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm
my freezing heart?"

And Love cried out, "Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without
this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!"

And the wise old woman answered, "O fools and blind! What you once had
is that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant
thing is born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when
the shades begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold
and long--then it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL
not know it--till one day they start up suddenly, crying, 'O God! O God!
we have lost it! Where is it?' They do not understand that they could
not carry the laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost,
and the snow. They do not know that what walks beside them still is the
Joy grown older. The grave, sweet, tender thing--warm in the coldest
snows, brave in the dreariest deserts--its name is Sympathy; it is the
Perfect Love."

South Africa.




II. THE HUNTER.

In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for
wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores
of a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming
of the birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a
reflection. He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a
burning desire came over him to see once again that reflection in the
water, and all day he watched and waited; but night came and it had not
returned. Then he went