



Produced by MWS, Charlie Howard, and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive/American Libraries.)









[Illustration (cover)]




    THE SAYINGS OF
    MRS. SOLOMON




[Illustration]

    THE SAYINGS OF
    MRS. SOLOMON

    BEING THE CONFESSIONS OF THE
    SEVEN HUNDREDTH WIFE AS REVEALED TO

    HELEN ROWLAND

    AUTHOR OF “THE WIDOW”
    “REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
    GIRL,” ETC.

    [Illustration]

    PUBLISHED IN NEW YORK BY
    DODGE PUBLISHING COMPANY




    COPYRIGHT, 1913, BY DODGE
    PUBLISHING COMPANY; NEW YORK

    MRS. SOLOMON




CONTENTS


       I. GREETING                   11

      II. BOOK OF HUSBANDS           15

     III. BOOK OF FLIRTS             31

      IV. BOOK OF DAMSELS            49

       V. BOOK OF BACHELORS          67

      VI. BOOK OF SIRENS             79

     VII. BOOK OF ADMONITIONS        93

    VIII. BOOK OF SONGS             109




            AND VERILY, A WOMAN
            NEED KNOW BUT ONE
            MAN WELL, IN ORDER
            TO UNDERSTAND _ALL_
            MEN; WHEREAS A MAN
            MAY KNOW ALL WOMEN
            AND UNDERSTAND NOT
            ONE OF THEM

[Illustration]




GREETING


Hearken, my Daughter, and give ear unto my wisdom, that thou mayest
understand _man_--his goings and his comings, his stayings out and his
return in the morning, his words of honey and his ways of guile.

Beloved, question me not, whence I have learned of man, his secrets.
Have I not known _one_ man well? And verily, a woman need know but one
man, in order to understand _all_ men; whereas a man may know all women
and understand not one of them.

For men are of but one pattern, whereof thou needest but to discover
the secret combination; but women are as the _Yale lock_--no two of
them are alike.

Lo! What a paradox is man--even a puzzle which worketh backward!

He mistaketh a sweet scent for a sweet disposition, and a subtile
sachet for a subtile mind.

He voweth, “I admire a discreet woman!”--and inviteth the froward
blonde of the chorus to supper.

He muttereth unto his wife, “Lo! I will go unto the corner for a
cigar”--and behold, he wandereth unto many corners and returneth by a
circular route.

He kisseth the woman whom he loveth _not_, and avoideth her whom he
loveth, lest his heart become entangled. Yea, he seeketh always the
wrong woman that he may forget his heart’s desire.

Yet, whichever he weddeth, he regretteth it all the days of his life.


SELAH.




            FOR A LONE WOMAN
            IN A GREAT
            RESTAURANT
            LOOKETH PITIFUL;
            BUT AN HUSBAND
            LOOKETH LIKE A
            REAL _TIP_

[Illustration]




BOOK OF HUSBANDS


CHAPTER ONE

Verily, my Daughter, an husband is a Good Thing. He giveth the house a
“finished” look, even as a rubber plant and a door-plate.

He suggesteth ready-money, and is an _adornment_ like unto a potted
palm upon the piazza.

When he sitteth beside thee in the tabernacle, he is as a certificate
of respectability; yea in the eyes of society, he is better than a
written recommendation.

Verily, he is as necessary unto thy dinner table as a centerpiece, and
more impressive than cut flowers and a butler in livery.

When he taketh thee abroad to dine, the waiter shall not lead thee into
dim and draughty corners, but shall run nimbly and place thee in a
choice spot within _hearing_ of the music.

For a lone woman in a great restaurant looketh pitiful; but an husband
looketh like a real _tip_.

When thou goest unto an hotel in his company, the clerk shall not offer
thee a room upon the air-shaft; and the bell-boys shall answer thy ring
with flying feet and a glad smile. For an husband is as good as much
credit.

Yea, when thou goest forth