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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

VOLUME 105, JULY 29TH 1893

_edited by Sir Francis Burnand_




MUSCULAR EDUCATION.

[Illustration]

Mr. PUNCH has much pleasure in recommending the following Prospectus
to the notice of parents desirous of finding a thoroughly practical
school where boys are educated according to the real requirements of
modern life.

CLOANTHUS HOUSE, MARKET DREPANUM, OXON.

Mr. J. PEN-RULLOX, M.A. Cambs., and the Rev. WILFRID BAILS, B.A.
Oxon, receive pupils to prepare for the great public schools and
universities.

The well-known qualifications of Mr. PEN-RULLOX, who rowed stroke in
his university boat in the celebrated race at Amwell in 1878, and of
the Rev. Mr. BAILS, who played for Oxford in the famous university
match in the Common Fields in 1882, will be sufficient guarantee that
the boys will be thoroughly well instructed.

Besides Rowing, Cricket, and Football; Swimming, Racquets, Boxing,
and Hockey, are specially attended to by competent Assistant-Masters,
under the personal supervision of the Principals.

Billiards, Lawn-tennis, Poker, Nurr and Spell, and some other minor
games, now too frequently neglected in the education of youth, will
find their due place in the curriculum of Cloanthus House.

It is in contemplation, should a sufficient number of boys show a
marked inclination for such studies, to engage a Board-school Master,
of approved competence, to direct literary and scientific work.

Terms, inclusive, L250 per annum, payable in advance: the only extras
at present being Reading, Writing, Polo, and Arithmetic.

Reference is kindly permitted to the following:--The Right Rev. the
Bishop of ISTHMIA; the Editor of the _Sporting Life_; the Rev. R.
E. D. HORGAN, M.A., Jesurum Col., Cambs; the Sports Editor of the
_Field_; the Warden of Mortlake College, Putney; Dr. S. A. GRACE,
LL.D.; the Hon. and Rev. HURLINGHAM PEEL.

       *       *       *       *       *

THE BITTER CRY OF THE BROKEN-VOICED CHORISTER.

(_A long way after Tennyson._)

  Break, break, break,
    O voice on that clear top C!
  And I would that my throat could utter
    High notes as they used to be.

  O well for old BUNDLECOOP'S boy
    That he still shouts his full round A!
  O well for that tow-headed lad
    That he sings in his old clear way.

  And the anthems still go on
    With boy-trebles sharp and shrill;
  But O for _my_ "compass," so high and grand,
    And the voice that I _used_ to trill!

  Break, break, break,
    Like a creaky old gate, top C!
  But the high treble notes of a voice that is cracked,
    Will never come back to me!

       *       *       *       *       *

QUEER QUERIES.

THE WHITE CURRENCY QUESTION.--Can nothing be done to prevent the
Indian VICEROY from carrying out his monstrous proposal about the
Rupee? I was just off to Bombay (having recently completed a period
of enforced seclusion in Devonshire, occasioned by a too successful
competition with a monopolist Mint) on the strength of a newspaper
paragraph that "Free Coining of Silver" was permitted in that happy
land. Free Coining! In my opinion it beats "Free Education" hollow,
and is just what I have always wanted. I felt that my fortune was
made, when suddenly the news comes that the free coinage business is
stopped. What an injustice! In the name of the down-trodden Hindoo,
to whom my specially manufactured nickel-and-tin Rupee would have been
quite a new revelation, I protest against this interference with the
immemorial customs of our Oriental fellow-subjects.--JEREMIAH D'IDDLA.

       *       *       *       *       *

CONTRIBUTED BY OUR OWN WELSH-HARPER'S MAGAZINE.--With the AP MORGANS,
AP RHYS, AP JONES, and many others, Wales is the ideal "'Appy Land."

       *       *       *       *       *

SEASONABLE.

(_By a future Lord Chancellor._)

  The close of the season, the close of the season,
  It leaves a man rifled of rhino and reason;
  And now, with hot rain and a westerly breeze on,
  I don't opine racketing London agrees on
  The whole with Society. "_Kyrie Eleison_"
  I'll chaunt when I stand with my wife and my wee son
  Some windy "Parade" or exuberant "Lees" on,
  In the splash of the salt and the flash of the free sun,
  And am garbed in a fashion that, sure, would be treason
  To Bond Street; and ruminate, sprawling at ease on
  The sands with their bands and extempore sprees on.--
  "Table d'Hote-ards," repair to your Homburgs or freeze on
  Cosmopolitan Alps, and eat kickshaws to tease one;
  But _me_ let the <DW65>s marine and the sea's un-
  Translateable sing-song, and bathers with d----s on,
  Delight, and bare children, their noses and knees on,
  Till quite I forget Messrs. WELBY AND MEESON
  (Those despots of law) and my failures, and fees un-
  Liquidated as yet, and myself--and the season!

       *       *       *       *       *

AT COVENT GARDEN LAST THUR