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                             BROAD GRINS;

                                  BY

                            GEORGE COLMAN,

                             THE YOUNGER;


                   COMPRISING, WITH NEW ADDITIONAL

                           TALES IN VERSE,

               THOSE FORMERLY PUBLISH'D UNDER THE TITLE

                    "MY NIGHT-GOWN AND SLIPPERS."


                       "DEME SUPERCILIO NUBEM."


                         THE EIGHTH EDITION.


                               LONDON:
               H. G. BOHN, YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN.
                             MDCCCXXXIX.




ADVERTISEMENT.


MY Booksellers inform'd me, lately, that several inquiries had been made
for _My Night-Gown and Slippers_,--but that every copy had been
sold;--they had been out of print these two years.--"Then publish them
again," said I, boldly,--(I print at my own risk)--and with an air of
triumph. Messrs. Cadell and Davies advise'd me to make additions.--"The
_Work_ is, really, too short," said Messrs. Cadell and Davies,--"I wish,
gentlemen," return'd I, "my readers were of your opinion."--"I protest,
Sir," said they, (and they asserted it, both together, with great
emphasis,) "you have but _Three Tales_."--I told them, carelessly, it
was enough for the greatest _Bashaw_, among modern poets, and wish'd
them a good morning. When a man, as Sterne observes, "can extricate
himself with an _equivoque_, in such an unequal match,"--(and two
booksellers to one poet are tremendous odds)--"he is not ill off;"--but
reflecting a little, as I went home, I began to think my pun was a vile
one,--and did not assist me, one jot, in my argument;--and, now I have
put it upon paper, it appears viler still;--it is execrable.--So, without
much further reasoning, I sat down to rhyming;--rhyming, as the reader
will see, in open defiance of _all reason_,--except the reasons of
Messrs. Cadell and Davies.--

Thus you have _My Night-Gown and Slippers_, with _Additions_, converted
to _Broad Grins_;--and 'tis well if they may not end in _Wide Yawns_ at
last! Should this be the case, gentle Reviewers, do not, ungratefully,
attempt to break my sleep, (_you will find it labour lost_) because I
have contributed to your's.

                                         GEORGE COLMAN, the Younger.

    _May, 1820._




CONTENTS


  MY NIGHT-GOWN AND SLIPPERS
    TOM, DICK, and WILL, were little known to Fame;--
    THE WATER-FIENDS.
    DICK ended:--TOM and WILL approve'd his strains;
    THE NEWCASTLE APOTHECARY.
    Ere WILL had done 'twas waxing wond'rous late;
    LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN.
  THE KNIGHT AND THE FRIAR.
    THE KNIGHT AND THE FRIAR, PART FIRST.
    SIR THOMAS ERPINGHAM's SONNET ON HIS LADY.
    THE KNIGHT AND THE FRIAR, PART THE SECOND.
    Ye Criticks, and ye Hyper-Criticks!--who
  THE ELDER BROTHER.




MY NIGHT-GOWN AND SLIPPERS

[Illustration]


  TOM, DICK, and WILL, were little known to Fame;--
    No matter;--
  But to the Ale-house, oftentimes, they came,
    To chatter.

  It was the custom of these three
    To sit up late;
    And, o'er the embers of the Ale-house fire,
    When steadier customers retire,
  The choice _Triumviri_, d'ye see,
      Held a debate.

  Held a debate?--On politicks, no doubt.
    Not so;--they care'd not who was in,
      No, not a pin;--
      Nor who was out.

  All their discourse on modern Poets ran;
    For in the Muses was their sole delight;--
  They talk'd of such, and such, and such a man;
    Of those who could, and those who could not write.

    It cost them very little pains
    To count the modern Poets, who had brains.
  'Twas a small difficulty;--'twasn't any;
          They were so few:
  But to cast up the scores of men
  Who wield a stump they call a pen,
      Lord! they had much to do,--
          They were so many!

  Buoy'd on a sea of fancy, Genius rises,
  And like the rare Leviathan surprises;
  But the _small fry_ of scribblers!--tiny souls!
  They wriggle thro' the mud in shoals.

  It would have raise'd a smile to see the faces
  They made, and