



Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Malcolm Farmer,
Ernest Schaal, and the Online Distributed Proofreading
Team at http://www.pgdp.net







PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 108.
MARCH 30, 1895.




[Illustration: "ANIMAL SPIRITS."

No. IX.--AWKWARD POSITION OF HIPPOLICEMAN AMONG THE WILD BULLS AND BEARS
IN THROGMORTON STREET.

(_Vide Papers, March 22._)]

                               * * * * *

                          AN ELECTION ADDRESS.

    [Mr. RIDER HAGGARD has become the accepted Conservative
    candidate for a Norfolk constituency. The following is
    understood to be an advance copy of his Address.]

  Intelligent electors, may I venture to present
  Myself as an aspirant for a seat in Parliament?
  The views of those opponents who despise a novelist,
  Are but the foggy arguments of People of the Mist!

  No writer, I assure you, can produce a better claim,
  A greater versatility, a more substantial fame;
  My candidature, though opposed by all the yellow gang,
  Has won the hearty sympathy of Mr. ANDREW LANG.

  And if what my opinions are you'd really like to know,
  They're issued at a modest price by LONGMANS, GREEN, & CO.;
  The Eight Hours Bill, for instance, I'm prepared to speak upon
  From a practical acquaintance with the Mines of Solomon.

  Whatever my intentions as to Woman's Rights may be,
  I yield to none in honouring the great immortal She;
  While, as to foreign policy, though Blue Books make you yawn,
  You'll find the subject treated most attractively in _Dawn_.

  When I am placed in Parliament, I'll speak with fluent skill