



Produced by David Widger





PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.

By Geo. W. Peck

With Illustrations by Gean Smith.

Belford, Clarke & Co. - 1883.

[Illustration: cover]

[Illustration: frontispiece]

[Illustration: titlepage]


     [Transcriber's Note: The variable grammar and punctuation in
     this file make it difficult to decide which errors are
     archaic usage and which the printer's fault.  I have made
     corrections only of what appeared obvious printer's errors.
     This eBook is taken from the 1883 1st edition.]




A CARD FROM THE AUTHOR.

     Office of "Peck's Sun," Milwaukee, Feb., 1883.

     Belford, Clarke & Co.:

     Gents--If you have made up your minds that the world will
     cease to move unless these "Bad Boy" articles are given to
     the public in book form, why go ahead, and peace to your
     ashes. The "Bad Boy" is not a "myth," though there may be
     some stretches of imagination in the articles. The
     counterpart of this boy is located in every city, village
     and country hamlet throughout the land. He is wide awake,
     full of vinegar, and is ready to crawl under the canvas of a
     circus or repeat a hundred verses of the New Testament in
     Sunday School. He knows where every melon patch in the
     neighborhood is located, and at what hours the dog is
     chained up. He will tie an oyster can to a dog's tail to
     give the dog exercise, or will fight at the drop of the hat
     to protect the smaller boy or a school girl. He gets in his
     work everywhere there is a fair prospect of fun, and his
     heart is easily touched by an appeal in the right way,
     though his coat-tail is oftener touched with a boot than his
     heart is by kindness. But he shuffles through life until the
     time comes for him to make a mark in the world, and then he
     buckles on the harness and goes to the front, and becomes
     successful, and then those who said he would bring up in
     State Prison, remember that he always _was_ a mighty smart
     lad, and they never tire of telling of some of his deviltry
     when he was a boy, though they thought he was pretty tough
     at the time. This book is respectfully dedicated to boys, to
     the men who have been boys themselves, to the girls who like
     the boys, and to the mothers, bless them, who like both the
     boys and the girls,

     Very respectfully,

     GEO. W. PECK,




CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.

THE BOY WITH A LAME BACK--THE BOY COULDN'T SIT DOWN--A PRACTICAL JOKE ON
THE OLD MAN--A LETTER FROM "DAISY "--GUARDING THE FOUR CORNERS--THE OLD
MAN IS UNUSUALLY GENEROUS--MA ASKS AWKWARD QUESTIONS--THE BOY TALKED TO
WITH A BED SLAT--NO ENCOURAGEMENT FOR A BOY


CHAPTER II.

THE BOY AT WORK AGAIN--THE BEST BOYS FULL OF TRICKS--THE OLD MAN
LAYS DOWN THE LAW ABOUT JOKES--RUBBER HOSE MACARONI--THE OLD MAS's
STRUGGLES--CHEWING VIGOROUSLY BUT IN VAIN--AN INQUEST HELD--REVELRY BY
NIGHT--MUSIC IN THE WOODSHED--"'twas ever thus."


CHAPTER III.

THE BAD BOY GIVES HIS PA AWAY--PA IS A HARD CITIZEN--DRINKING
SOZODONT--MAKING UP THE SPARE BED--THE MIDNIGHT WAR DANCE--AN
APPOINTMENT BY THE COAL-BIN.


CHAPTER IV.

THE BAD BOY'S FOURTH OF JULY.--PA IS A POINTER, NOT A SETTER--SPECIAL
ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY--A GRAND SUPPLY OF FIREWORKS--THE
EXPLOSION--THE AIR FULL OF PA AND DOG AND ROCKETS--THE NEW HELL--A SCENE
THAT BEGGARS DESCRIPTION.


CHAPTER V.

THE BAD BOY'S MA COMES HOME.--DEVILTRY, ONLY A LITTLE FUN--THE BAD
BOY'S CHUM--A LADY'S WARDROBE IN THE OLD MAN'S ROOM--MA's UNEXPECTED
ARRIVAL--WHERE IS THE HUZZY?--DAMFINO!--THE BAD BOY WANTS TO TRAVEL WITH
A CIRCUS


CHAPTER VI.

HIS PA IS A DARN COWARD--HIS PA HAS BEEN A MAJOR--HOW HE WOULD DEAL WITH
BURGLARS--HIS BRAVERY PUT TO THE TEST--THE ICE REVOLVER--HIS PA BEGINS
TO PRAY--TELLS WHERE THE CHANGE IS--"PLEASE MR. BURGLAR SPARE A POOR
MAN'S LIFE!"--MA WAKES UP--THE BAD BOY AND HIS CHUM RUN--FISH-POLE
SAUCE--MA WOULD MAKE A GOOD CHIEF OF POLICE


CHAPTER VII.

HIS PA GETS A BITE.--"HIS PA GETS TOO MUCH WATER"--THE DOCTOR'S
DISAGREE--HOW TO SPOIL BOYS--HIS PA GOES TO PEWAUKEE IN SEARCH OF HIS
SON--ANXIOUS TO FISH--"STOPER, I'VE GOT A WHALE!"--OVERBOARD--HIS PA IS
SAVED--A DOLLAR FOR HIS PANTS.


CHAPTER VIII.

HE IS TOO HEALTHY--AN EMPTY CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE AND A BLACK EYE--HE IS
ARRESTED--OCONOMOWOC FOR HEALTH--HIS PA. IS AN OLD MASHER--DANCED TILL
THE COWS CAME HOME--THE GIRL FROM THE SUNNY SOUTH--THE BAD BOY IS SENT
HOME


CHAPTER IX.

HIS PA HAS GOT 'EM AGAIN.--HIS PA IS DRINKING HARD--HE HAS BECOME A
TERROR--A JUMPING DOG----THE OLD MAN IS SHAMEFULLY ASSAULTED--"THIS IS
A HELLISH CLIMATE MY BOY!"--HIS PA SWEARS OFF--HIS MA STILL SNEEZING AT
LAKE SUPERIOR


CHAPTER X.

HIS PA HAS GOT RELIGION--THE BAD BOY GOES TO SUNDAY SCHOOL--PROMISES
REFORMATION--THE OLD MAN ON TRIAL FOR SIX MONTHS--WHAT MA THINKS--ANTS
IN PA'S LIVER-PAD--THE OLD MAN IN CHURCH--RELIGION IS ONE THING, ANTS
ANOTHER


CHAPTER XI.

HIS PA TAKES A TRICK--JAMAICA RUM AND CARDS--THE BAD BOY POSSESSED OF
A DEVIL--THE KIND DEACON--AT PRAYER-MEETING--THE OLD MAN TELLS HIS
EXPERIENCE--THE FLYING CARDS--THE PRAYER-MEETING SUDDENLY CLOSED


CHAPTER XII.

HIS PA GETS PULLED--THE OLD MAN STUDIES THE BIBLE--DANIEL IN THE LIONS'
DEN--THE MULE AND THE MULE'S FATHER--MURDER IN THE THIRD WARD--THE OLD
MAN ARRESTED--THE OLD MAN FANS THE DUST OUT OF HIS SON'S PANTS


CHAPTER XIII.

HIS PA GOES TO THE EXPOSITION--THE BAD BOY ACTS AS GUIDE--THE CIRCUS
STORY--THE OLD MAN WANTS TO SIT DOWN--TRIES TO EAT PANCAKES--DRINKS SOME
MINERAL WATER--THE OLD MAN FALLS IN LOVE WITH A WAX WOMAN--A POLICEMAN
INTERFERES--THE LIGHTS GO OUT--THE GROCERY MAN DON'T WANT A CLERK


CHAPTER XIV.

HIS PA CATCHES ON--TWO DAYS AND NIGHTS IN THE BATHROOM--RELIGION CAKES
THE OLD MAN'S BREAST--THE BAD BOY'S CHUM DRESSED UP AS A GIRL--THE OLD
MAN DELUDED--THE COUPLE START FOR THE COURT HOUSE PARK--HIS MA APPEARS
ON THE SCENE--"IF YOU LOVE ME, KISS ME?"--MA TO THE RESCUE--"I AM DEAD
AM I?"--HIS PA THROWS A CHAIR THROUGH THE TRANSOM


CHAPTER XV.

HIS PA AT THE RE-UNION--THE OLD MAN IN MILITARY SPLENDOR--TELLS HOW HE
MOWED DOWN THE REBELS--"I AND GRANT"--WHAT IS A SUTLER.--TEN DOLLARS FOR
PICKLES!--"LET US HANG HIM!"--THE OLD MAN ON THE RUN--HE STANDS UP TO
SUPPER--THE BAD BOY IS TO DIE AT SUNSET


CHAPTER XVI.

THE BAD BOY IN LOVE--ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?--NO GETTING TO HEAVEN ON SMALL
POTATOES--THE BAD BOY HAS TO CHEW COBS--MA SAYS IT'S GOOD FOR A BOY
TO BE IN LOVE--LOVE WEAKENS THE BAD BOY--HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO GET
MARRIED?--MAD DOG--NEVER EAT ICE CREAM


CHAPTER XVII.

HIS PA FIGHTS HORNETS--THE OLD MAN LOOKS BAD--THE WOODS OF
WAUWATOSA--THE OLD MAN TAKES A NAP--"HELEN DAMNATION!"--"HELL IS OUT
FOR NOON."--THE LIVER MEDICINE--ITS WONDERFUL EFFECTS--THE BAD BOY
IS DRUNK--GIVE ME A LEMON!--A SIGHT OF THE COMET!--THE HIRED GIRL'S
RELIGION


CHAPTER XVIII.

HIS PA GOES HUNTING--MUTILATED JAW--THE OLD MAN HAS TAKEN TO SWEARING
AGAIN--OUT WEST, DUCK SHOOTING---HIS COAT TAIL SHOT OFF--SHOOTS AT A
WILD GOOSE--THE GUN KICKS!--THROWS A CHAIR AT HIS SON--THE ASTONISHED
SHE-DEACON