Let me give you this little tip:\n\nDo not attend a Vegas Strip Club with your brothers and/or male family members. Under any circumstances. No ifs, ands or butts. Just don't. Seriously.\n\nIt's awkward. And upsetting. And awkward. \n\nLittle did I know that while my cousin Lauren and I watched our respective brothers get lapfucked by a pretty pair named Pilot and Perfect, that our benefactor had already paid for us to get our own laps snizzed on by Mercedes, a tight little tan blonde.\n\nShe sauntered over, asked the boys of the group that weren't busy getting jacked in a backroom somewhere to buy her a redbull (redbull is stripper cryptonite) and then sorta draped over us...\n\nAnd that's when we both got felt up. \n\nMercedes: You guys both have really big boobs!\n\nRachel and Lauren: ...\n\n*Stripper grabs our boobs*\n\nMercedes: Are they real?\n\nRachel and Lauren: *nod simultaneously* \n\n: |\n\nMercedes: Mine are fake.\n\nRachel and Lauren: *shock and awe* You don't say?\n\n*Rachel and Lauren get the hell out of Spearmint Rhino*\n\nGetting felt up without dinner or even a drink purchased for me beforehand felt wrong, but watching my brother enjoy a lap dance a little too much was enough to hurtle my nice seafood dinner out of the depths of innerspace onto the floor.\n\nI'll give it up for the strippers super soft skin, though. It's nice. And they smell good too. Lauren and I are thinking about creating a perfume called \"Stripper\". It will be a blend of cucumber melon and coconut nectar with glitter. Lots of glitter.\n\nOh, and they have pretty nice fake boobs. \n\nIf you like that sort of thing.
places reviews