You've seen the moment played out on every crappy coming of age comedy - the 30 somethings walk into a trendy, new club and have the \"when did I stop being cool?\" epiphany. \n\nWell, art imitates life, and Max imitated any given Jason Siegel character upon walking into this ridiculously cool spot (do kids even still say \"cool\"?). \n\nBecause signage was so 2013, you can't see Le Bremner from the outside. And lights must have gone out of style with Kelly Kapowski because you can't see anything inside, either. \n\nThe I-hate-my-parents hairstyle'd hosts seat and schmooze you while the mustachiod bartenders sling you hand crafted cocktails. The leather clad crowd gawks as you walk through to see if you're important, because you need to know someone or be someone to get a table. I'd reciprocate the curiosity, but wouldn't recognize anybody notable these days. I could redeem some cool cred, knowing all the words in their 90s grunge rock playlist - unless it was just being ironic. \n\n...but that food, though.\n\nFirst plate was a salmon tartare with shishitos; charred, smoky, and spicy Asian peppers over a bed of fresh, high grade fish. \n\nThen came the fried quail. This ain't no Colonel Sanders $1.99 special, this is the General Bonaparte of extra crispy succulence. My very ladylike dinner date couldn't keep herself from sucking those quail bones dry. \n\nThe second entree was a wholefish, deboned by our waiter like a surgeon. So soft, so flaky, so tasty, we didn't dare disrupt the flavor with the lemon provided. \n\nWe had a coffee mouse for desert. An indulgent mix of creamy, crispy layers with a deep, rich coffee sensation that emanates a rustic aroma all the way down your pallet.\n\nSo book that table however many ice ages in advance necessary to go to Le Bremner and be prepared to spend a pretty penny to get the full experience - because it's worth it (but also build in the costs of a new pair of skinny jeans and Miley hairdo before you do).
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