Was booked on Turkmenistan Airlines to return to the UK after completing a work assignment in the Caspian. First of all, by their nature, the Turkmen people are standoffish. Multiply this by 20 if they wear any form of uniform, so going through Ashgabat Airport is not an enjoyable experience. The aircraft, a Boeing 777, looked fairly new and as I was flying Business Class I had high expectations. The cabin crew were emotionless and stilted when I was shown my seat, and I was offered a plastic cup of water or Pepsi as a pre-flight drink. I asked if there was any Champagne but was told "No -a lcohol is not allowed" There were only 6 pax in Business Class, but Economy was full. Crew were very lax completing pre take off safety checks, and we took off with 2 passengers with their seats in lay flat bed mode. The minute the wheels left the tarmac the crew released their seat belts and started walking around the galley and cabin. There are large seat back TV screens, but there is no entertainment onboard. Food is served piping hot, but is so bad that it is inedible. Around an hour into the 6 hour flight a male FA plonked himself down in the empty seat across the aisle from me, reclined the seat and then watched a movie on his smart phone. When the seatbelt sign came on for landing at Birmingham the crew went through the motions of pre-landing safety checks, but did not ensure that seats were upright or that window blinds were open. One stewardess was still walking around the galley when we landed. Avoid flying with them if possible!
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