Unlucky Number Seven\n\nAs a Phoenician, when the best part of a Casino Staycation is the short drive time vs. the long, boring drive to Las Vegas, it's time to think about flying...up north.\n\nWhile I had a VERY nice and spacious second-floor room (facing the pool vs. the dull desert) in the Ocotillo Building and encountered a 85% great staff (that miserable and mostly muted 15% really need to find another job...one that doesn't deal with the public,) I had way too many, or unlucky number seven, disappointments with the place I will surely never visit again:\n\n1. The Trek. \n\nIt's bad enough the joint has both an unnecessary and uncovered parking lot, but going through that vast lot, passing the casino, through the lobby and navigating in-between THREE hotel buildings is completely absurd. I understand Vegas real estate, or more specifically, the casinos on the strip, have only so much room, and this Harrah's Ak-Chin is dead-center of 100 miles of nothing desert, but there's no reason to spread everything out.\n\n2. Bar None.\n\nBy the time of this writing, they're a week or more away from either reopening or introducing their singular bar. This did not please me on my visit this time and I was punished for my apparently bad timing. I simply cannot stand waiting on the staff for 10+ minutes to bring me my drink or make it a hassle to open a tab or charge to my room when I am at the slots. \n\n3. Screen Test.\n\nOh, and nice. Instead of the bother of flagging down the waitress, they have little computer screens on each slot you can order your beverage...pending you have both the patience of going through 16 screens to get to what you want or waiting the 10 minutes for the waitress to show up.\n\n4. Tight not Alright.\n\n30% of the slots had the \"out of service\" notice. 50% of the slots either wouldn't accept my player's card or it took too many annoying and redundant attempts to get it to read the card. 70% of the slots had too high of a denomination of contribution. And 90% of the slots were incredibly too tight. This is thee main reason it's been 3 years, 3 months since I've visited a local Arizona Casino. In fact, this is only the second time I've been to Harrah's Ak-Chin since the late 1990s. Oh, and they're not just tight in payouts, they're tight in space between the machines. For a company that spread out the hotel buildings, rooms, entertainment, lobby, etc...they made the casino a bumper room between machines.\n\n5. Charging Backwards.\n\nWhen at the machines, good luck on charging drinks to your room from the credit card hold they anxiously took at check in. Or using a credit card to pay for drinks you shouldn't have to at a casino. Or, heaven forbid...opening a tab with a waitress. I was even told once I could open a tab at \"the bar.\" I readily said: \"Oh? Which bar?\" To which, she replied: \"The one that's opening in a couple of weeks.\" At least, it saved me a tip.\n\n6. Not Buff Enuff.\n\nI'm both a bountiful buffet boy - inside and out of Sin City and a fan of most Harrah's seafood buffets. Harrah's Ak-Chin is one of the absolute worst I've visited. This is sad, since I do everything to promote the Harrah's brand on great buffets. Harrah's Las Vegas and Harrah's Laughlin, have fantastic buffets with huge and steamin' crab legs. This one, at Harrah's Ak-Chin, for $25.99 you get the thinnest, the smallest and the most meatless crab legs. But, there's more. You also get approximately 4 stations of really small meat selections and barely edible portions. Just a note: I'm used to 8+ stations, including an island for deserts/salads. This dinky, seat-yourself buffet was not worth but $6 of that $26 you're paying. \n\n7. From a Distance.\n\nWant to attend the cinema or go bowling but don't want to drive there to have fun? Unfortunately, even with a hundred miles of zilch desert, they choose to put the star attraction of entertainment outside and across an entire parking lot obviously not modeling the great Palms of Las Vegas which has the casino, food court and movie theatre...JUST DOWN ELEVATOR from your room. Now, I am not considered old, by my means, but I don't have the best back or emotional desire to leave the hotel room, travel through 3 buildings and mouse maze of hallways, through the lobby, by the gift shop, into the cramped, bar-less casino, then outside, passing a massive and questionably uncovered parking lot to get to the entertainment building. Even though I deemed, early on, this was my last trip here, I didn't even bother to see the \"Ultrastar Multi-tainment Center.\" Maybe it was great, maybe a lot of fun...but, it was seriously too much effort for me to make it there.\n\nSo, I guess, it wasn't lucky number seven for me with my disappointments. Even though I was glad to have such a nice room and a staff that mostly cared, made me laugh and have fun, I still grant this place an extra whole star to...2/5 stars.\n\nIn the earnest words of the movie, The Hangover, my next casino visit will hear me shout: \"Vegas, baby!\"
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