So I've come to the conclusion that Anthony Bourdain is kind of a sucky food critic. Why? Just look at the way the man smokes and drinks, WHILE eating his food! You think after all that tar and alcohol his taste buds are still working properly?? You only need to read his books to know that he isn't even conscious half the time he's eating. \n\n\"Oh, we might've had the salmon, or maybe it was pork... I dunno, I was too drunk.\" Okay Tony, we didn't buy the book just to hear about your drinking binges... BUT ANYWHOOOO\n\nSo he positively raved about Bouchon, describing it as something every French restaurant should aim to be... just to be sure, I asked my culinary school-graduate cousin if she'd heard of Thomas Keller, and she was quite offended by that actually. I think she muttered something like \"Doh\" and \"stupid bitch...\"\n\nWell, that was incentive enough for me to make reservations at Bouchon the next time I visited Vegas, and, taking Tony's advice, I ordered the Poulet Roti. That's just a fancy name for Roast Chicken. My bro had the mussels, which came with a huge cone of pommes frites, which is another fancy name for French fries. \n\nMy chicken, as expected, was thoroughly enjoyable. The skin was crispy and delightfully tasty, and the breat was... JUICY! As I sliced into the tender white meat with my knife, I could see trails of juice squishing out of it. So I dumped my knife and fork and dug into my plate with my TEETH. That's how real foodies do it, guys, we use our hands, just as God meant for us to do.\n\nThe mussels were okay... simple white wine/garlic sauce... but it had a sour tang to it! That baffled both my bro and me. Maybe it's how they make their sauce? With an extra squirt of lemon juice? Not our cup of tea, thankyew vewy much. \n\nMmm, I heart the fries. I think they were the star of the meal, being crunchy and uniformly salty. Kinda like McDonald's fries, with less preservatives and a lot fresher. Yum. Fries. Oh yum.\n\nBut in the end I have to take off one star because it was good... but not THAT good, ya know? I dunno, maybe I just need to puff on a few of those cancer sticks and order a couple bottles of their finest wine... then maybe I'll think UMG the food here is outta this world!!!!!
places reviews