'I Will Never Call Her Again': Daughter of Missing Indiana Woman Discovered 42 Years Later Has No Plans for a Happy Reunion 
 
 Courtesy Doe Network 
 
 Courtesy Doe Network 
 
 "I will never call her again" 
 
 Grandmother did an "awesome" job raising the kids 
 
 Courtesy Tammy Miller 
 
 Courtesy Tammy Miller 
 
 "I'm going to have a wonderful life" 
 
 After more than 40 years of thinking her mother was dead, Tammy Miller got the surprise of her life this week when she found out her that her mother was actually alive and living under a new name 1,200 miles away.But her story doesn't have a fairytale ending and there are no plans for a joyous, tearful reunion. "I'm angry," Miller, 45, tells PEOPLE in her first extensive interview. "This isn't going to be one of those happy, made-for-TV movies."Miller's mother, Lula Ann Gillespie-Miller, left her Laurel, Indiana, home in 1974 at the age of 28, leaving behind Tammy and her other three small children – another girl and two boys. The family received a letter from Gillespie-Miller in 1975 postmarked from Richmond, Indiana, but didn't hear from her again and believed she was long dead, Miller says, assuming that her body was one discovered in 1975 in Richmond.The case of the unidentified woman in Richmond had long grown cold when police revived it in 2014, according to Indiana State Police. While investigating that case, they eventually learned on Thursday that Gillespie-Miller, 69, was in fact living in Texas under a different name, police say."I could have fell out of my chair," Miller says. "I was shocked."Miller says she called her mother on Friday, but the woman said she couldn't talk. "It was less than a two minute conversation," Miller says. "She said, 'I'll call you when I'm able to talk,' " but it's a call Miller doesn't think will happen. "I will never call her again," Miller said. "It felt like being rejected all over again."Miller says she's still processing a range of emotions after thinking for decades that her mother was dead, but now realizing that her mother made a decision to disappear. "It's almost like going through the grieving process again," Miller says. "I'm glad she's alive, but it hurts emotionally knowing this was her choice."According to Miller, her mother led a troubled life, including alleged involvement with alcohol, dealing with the death of her husband in 1969 in a car accident and an alleged violent assault and rape in 1974. "She really wasn't taking care of us kids that well," Miller said. In 1971, Gillespie-Miller turned over their care, says Miller, who grew up in Indiana with her half-siblings, a sister, now 50, and two brothers, now 49 and 47.They were raised by a woman she calls "Grandma Catherine," whose son Joseph was the father of the three older kids and who died in 1969, says Miller, who claimed she is the product of an affair her mother had with a married man."My grandmother who raised me did an awesome job," Miller says. "She never went one day without letting us kids know she loved us."Miller says she doesn't know why her mother left in 1974. "I don't know what mother would do that," Miller says. "I would walk through fire for my kids."But Miller does give her credit for leaving the kids in good hands. "She did one thing right, that was giving us to our grandma," Miller says. "That was the best decision she ever made."When police knocked on her door, Gillespie-Miller didn't know why they were there, according to her daughter. "She told them, 'Why would anybody be looking for me? I've been living here for the past 20 years,' " Miller says. Gillespie-Miller could not be reached by PEOPLE for comment.Miller is now a divorced mother of three children – ages 26, 23 and 20 – and she raised a fourth child, 21, with her long-time boyfriend. She works in Indiana as an administrative assistant for a company that provides speech, occupational and other therapies to children.Miller said she feels a sense of relief knowing that she now has at least some answers about her mother. "I'm going to have a wonderful life," she says. "I know it wasn't my fault. It was her loss." 

 A 42-year mystery was solved this week when police tracked down a long-missing Indiana mom in Texas, where she had been living under an alias. 
 
 Lula Gillespie-Miller, now 69, admitted in an interview with the Texas Rangers that in 1974 she left her family in the town of Laurel and disappeared, the Indiana State Police said in a statement. 
 
 Lula Ann Gillespie-Miller. She thought she was too young to be a mother and signed custody of her three children to her parents in 1974. She then left home. Indiana State Police 
 
 But because she did not commit a crime, police have agreed not divulge the name Gillespie-Miller was using or identify the small south Texas town where she now lives. 
 
 Gillespie-MIller did, however, allow the Indiana detective who hunted her down to pass on her contact information to her daughter, Tammy. 
 
 "Thanks to the hard work of Indiana State Police Detective Sergeant Scott Jarvis, this Easter weekend, Tammy Miller hopes to make contact with the mother she has never known," the statement read. 
 
 President Nixon was bogged down by the Watergate scandal, the Swedish pop group Abba scored a hit with "Waterloo," and an unknown writer name Stephen King had just published his first novel "Carrie" when Gillespie-Miller took off after giving birth to her third child. She was 28. 
 
 The runaway mom "felt she was too young to be a mother at the time and signed her children over to her parents," the police statement read. 
 
 Other than a 1975 letter postmarked Richmond, Indiana, Gillespie-Miller's kin had no contact with her. But they never stopped hoping that one day they would find her again. 
 
 Fast-foward to January 2014, when Jarvis took over the case after The Doe Network, an organization that helps families find missing loved ones reached out to him. 
 
 Armed with the missing mom's letter, Jarvis checked with the Richmond Police Department Records Division and found they had a case of a deceased unidentified woman found in 1975 who was buried in an unmarked grave. 
 
 They ruled out that the mystery woman was Gillespie-MIller after comparing her DNA to that of Tammy Miller, police said. 
 
 Meanwhile, Jarvis got wind of a woman "with similarities to Lula Gillespie-Miller, who had lived in Tennessee in the 1980's, then later in Texas," the statement said. 
 
 Using that as a starting point, Jarvis figured out that the woman had been living in Texas since the 1990's, possibly under an alias. 
 
 Jarvis then contacted the Texas Rangers. And on Thursday, they knocked on Gillespie-MIller's door.
– A woman whose mother went missing for 40 years says she doesn't predict any joyous reunion—and feels fresh pain knowing her mom is alive, People reports. "I'm angry," says Tammy Miller, 45, whose mother, Lula Ann Gillespie-Miller, 69, was discovered Thursday in a small Texas town. "This isn't going to be one of those happy, made-for-TV movies." Gillespie-Miller abandoned her four children, including Miller, in Indiana in 1974 and was assumed dead, Miller says. When Indiana State Police tracked the woman down under a different name, Miller says she was "shocked" and called her mom the next day. "It was less than a two-minute conversation," says Miller. "She said, 'I'll call you when I'm able to talk.'" "I will never call her again," Miller adds. "It felt like being rejected all over again." Gillespie-Miller was a rape survivor who struggled with alcohol and her husband's death in a car accident, Miller says, but that hardly alleviates the pain. "I'm glad she's alive, but it hurts emotionally knowing this was her choice," says Miller. Gillespie-Miller "felt she was too young to be a mother at the time and signed her children over to her parents," according to a police report quoted by NBC News. Miller is glad her mom left the kids with "Grandma Catherine," whose son fathered the other three kids; Miller's dad was apparently an unmarried man who had an affair with Gillespie-Miller. "My grandmother who raised me did an awesome job," says Miller. "She never went one day without letting us kids know she loved us." (This remarkable family reunion is a much happier tale.)