It was with great delight and a sense of kinship that we at Vanity Fair read Donald Trump’s letter to the editor of The New York Times. Writing in response to Gail Collins’s April 2 column, “Donald Trump Gets Weirder,” the petty casino fauxgul and insincere 2012 presidential contender took a few grammatically daring swipes at the columnist (“Her storytelling ability and word usage [coming from me, who has written many best-sellers] is not at a very high level”) and repeated his latest cri de coeur, Birtherism. 
 
 We, too, are recent beneficiaries of Trump’s editorial suggestions. On March 24, Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter received a packet of documents from Trump containing a print-out of a VF Daily blog post from the week prior (shown below), several articles from blogs and newspapers concerning the ratings of Celebrity Apprentice and Trump’s presidential aspirations, and a debossed “DONALD J. TRUMP” note card of surprisingly thin paper stock. 
 
 To answer Trump’s one question, Ben Smith is a writer at Politico. Ben, Donald. Donald, Ben. 
 
 For more on the epistolary misadventures of New York’s most prolific profligate, we suggest reading the May 1989 issue of Spy magazine. 

 Vulgar idiot Donald Trump was born into a multi-million-dollar fortune and still went bankrupt, repeatedly, because he’s so dumb he can’t figure out how to make money off casinos and New York real estate. Is he actually retarded? No, he just talks that way! Donald Trump is actually a respected editor and American literary icon — remember his hilarious satirical novel, The Art of the Deal? If there’s anything funnier than a born-rich tool repeatedly going bankrupt because he’s so stupid, it’s actually titling the book TRUMP: The Art of the Deal. Anyway, now he’s just another half-senile racist jabbering to one of his Czech prostitutes or Fox News about how that shiftless Obama got himself born in Hawaii somehow just so he could collect welfare like the rest of the coloreds. Also, Donald Trump is not impressed with former Wonkette editor Juli Weiner. 
 
 Trump brushed a few loose two-foot-long strands of dyed-orange side hair from his Neanderthal forehead and got out the Sharpie and began writing furious notes to Graydon Carter, current editor of Vanity Fair and founding editor of SPY Magazine, which was mostly concerned with calling Donald Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian,” because that’s what he is. 
 
 Anyway, Donald Trump is ANGRY about this Juli Weiner writing these magazine articles that are actually blog posts printed out, so Donald Trump can figure out how to look at them. Juli writes at VF Daily: 
 
 On March 24, Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter received a packet of documents from Trump containing a print-out of a VF Daily blog post from the week prior (shown below), several articles from blogs and newspapers concerning the ratings of Celebrity Apprentice and Trump’s presidential aspirations, and an embossed “DONALD J. TRUMP” note card of surprisingly thin paper stock. To answer Trump’s one question, Ben Smith is a writer at Politico. 
 
 And with that, a writer even younger than his latest wife taught 85-year-old Donald Trump some important news about the “Washington Political Scene.” We just hope Juli doesn’t like tacky, glass-and-gold-trim condo buildings, because she is now on Donald Trump’s blacklist. (Haha just kidding, Trump would take money from literally anyone, including Stalin … take it, and then immediately lose it, and then go bankrupt. Again.) [Vanity Fair]
– Apparently tracking down President Obama's birth certificate and running a reality TV show aren't enough to keep Donald Trump busy, because his penchant for writing nastygrams to writers of less-than-flattering articles about him is getting downright habitual. "We, too, are recent beneficiaries of Trump’s editorial suggestions," writes Vanity Fair blogger Juli Weiner, the Donald's latest target. "Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter received a packet of documents from Trump containing a print-out of a VF Daily blog post, several articles concerning the ratings of Celebrity Apprentice and Trump’s presidential aspirations, and a debossed “DONALD J. TRUMP” note card of surprisingly thin paper stock." Zing. Weiner's mug wasn't there for Trump to label "the Face of a Dog!," but her byline does get a "bad writer!" Trump goes on to quibble with his relevance, the vastness of his real estate empire, and the size of his fortune. Click through to see the marked-up printout at Vanity Fair. Ken Layne over at Wonkette has a decidedly less flattering take on Trump's latest literary effort, for which he should start checking his mailbox.