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 As soon as the recording of this call to Comcast's customer service line begins, you understand how bad it's going to be. This is not a helpful, friendly staffer; this is the condescending, needy ex-boyfriend from hell, pitifully demanding to know why you're leaving him. 
 
 According to the caption on Soundcloud, we drop in on the call after it's already been in progress for about ten minutes. Ryan Block and his wife were attempting to cancel their Comcast internet service to move to Astound, and Comcast's representative was having none of it. Writes Block, a man of superhuman patience: 
 
 The representative (name redacted) continued aggressively repeating his questions, despite the answers given, to the point where my wife became so visibly upset she handed me the phone. ... This recording picks up roughly 10 minutes into the call, whereby she and I have already played along and given a myriad of reasons and explanations as to why we are canceling (which is why I simply stopped answering the rep's repeated question — it was clear the only sufficient answer was "Okay, please don't disconnect our service after all.") 
 
 The Kafkaesque nightmare begins with a question: "Why is it that you don't want the faster speed? Help me understand why you don't want faster internet." Block responds: "Help me understand why you can't just disconnect us." This mind-numbing exchange repeats itself over and over for eight grueling minutes. 
 
 At the end of a long, hard-fought battle, Block and his wife emerge victorious, and their service is canceled. But at what cost? 
 
 [h/t Digg, image via Peter Lang/Shutterstock] 

 Please note: this conversation starts about 10 minutes in -- by this point my wife and I are both completely flustered by the oppressiveness of the rep. So! Last week my wife called to disconnect our service with Comcast after we switched to another provider (Astound). We were transferred to cancellations (aka "customer retention"). The representative (name redacted) continued aggressively repeating his questions, despite the answers given, to the point where my wife became so visibly upset she handed me the phone. Overhearing the conversation, I knew this would not be very fun. What I did not know is how oppressive this conversation would be. Within just a few minutes the representative had gotten so condescending and unhelpful I felt compelled to record the speakerphone conversation on my other phone. This recording picks up roughly 10 minutes into the call, whereby she and I have already played along and given a myriad of reasons and explanations as to why we are canceling (which is why I simply stopped answering the rep's repeated question -- it was clear the only sufficient answer was "Okay, please don't disconnect our service after all."). Please forgive the echoing and ratcheting sound, I was screwing together some speaker wires in an empty living room! Updates: 7/15 - Comcast has issued an apology: http://corporate.comcast.com/comcast-voices/comcast-statement-regarding-customer-service-call 7/16 - I have continued to reiterate publicly that I do not want Comcast to terminate the rep, and that I believe the call itself belies a deeper, systemic dysfunction: https://twitter.com/ryan/status/489576392250519552 https://twitter.com/ryan/status/489576399636676609 https://twitter.com/ryan/status/489576406301413376 

 Last week Ryan Block, the former editor of Engadget, called Comcast to disconnect his cable and Internet service. His intention was to shift to Astound, a local provider in the San Francisco Bay Area. 
 
 The result defines what's wrong with Comcast, and underscores why the Federal Communications Commission and the Dept. of Justice should refuse to allow it to get any bigger. 
 
 Block has posted online the last eight minutes and 14 seconds of what he reports was a nearly 20-minute ordeal. You can listen to it here, or click on "The Comcast service call from hell" below. 
 
 Essentially, the Comcast representative, speaking from the cable giant's "retention department," refused to follow through unless Block told him why he wanted to cancel the service. You can hear the rep demanding an explanation with panic rising in his voice. He wheedles endlessly, treating Block as a nincompoop who can't understand that Comcast's service is so far superior to Astound's that only an idiot would consider switching. 
 
 At one point he says it's all about improving Comcast's service. "I'm trying to help my company be better," the rep tells Block. "That's my job. 
 
 "I can guarantee you right now, you're doing an incredibly good job at helping your company be worse," Block replies. 
 
 I can guarantee you right now, you're doing an incredibly good job at helping your company be worse. — Ryan Block, to an insistent Comcast phone rep 
 
 Block did the young man a favor by keeping his name confidential. Perhaps this is out of empathy. As John Herrmann of The Awl puts it, "If you understand this call as a desperate interaction between two people, rather than a business transaction between a customer and a company, the pain is mutual. The customer service rep is trapped in an impossible position, in which any cancellation, even one he can't control, will reflect poorly on his performance." 
 
 Comcast told Sam Gustin of Motherboard that it's "investigating this situation" and maintains that this isn't how its customer reps are supposed to behave. 
 
 But what the episode shows is the necessity of killing Comcast's pending deal to absorb Time Warner Cable, a combination of the nation's No. 1 and No. 2 cable/Internet providers that would make Comcast even less responsive to its customers' needs than it is now. The deal will be reviewed by the FCC and the Dept. of Justice. This call should be part of the evidence package placed before both agencies, and before Congress too. 
 
 Block told Gustin that his objection to Comcast stems from the company's government lobbying and its monopolistic behavior; since he has the "extraordinarily rare luxury" of being able to switch to an alternative provider without moving his home, he chose to take advantage of it. 
 
 Most Americans have only one option for cable service — whichever cable firm owns the monopoly in their neighborhood. If the Comcast/Time Warner Cable merger goes through, America comes more under the thumb of a single cable operator, and its phone reps will be even more noxious than the one Ryan Block encountered. 
 
 Keep up to date with The Economy Hub by following @hiltzikm.
– It's the customer service call heard 'round the world: Eight minutes of audio has been played more than 1.7 million times since Ryan Block made it available (via Soundcloud, posted on Twitter) Monday night. The crux: The AOL product manager was calling Comcast to disconnect his service in favor of West Coast broadband provider Astound. He didn't start recording until about 10 minutes into the call, noting "the representative had gotten so condescending and unhelpful I felt compelled to record the speakerphone conversation on my other phone." At Gawker, Andy Cush calls it a "Kafkaesque nightmare" that kicks off with the unidentified rep asking, "Why is it that you don't want the faster speed? Help me understand why you don't want faster Internet." Eight "mind-numbing," repetitive minutes follow in which the rep keeps demanding explanations. Says Block at one point: "I don't owe you an explanation ... so please proceed to the next question." The rep doesn't. At Consumerist, Mary Beth Quirk calls it "the 'I will not let you break up with me' speech." Writing for the Los Angeles Times, Michael Hiltzick sees Block's struggle as illustrating "the necessity of killing Comcast's pending deal to absorb Time Warner Cable, a combination ... that would make Comcast even less responsive to its customers' needs than it is now. This call should be part of the evidence package placed before [the FCC and the Dept. of Justice], and before Congress too." Comcast, for its part, tweeted at Block, "We are sorry & embarrassed by what happened. We're determined to be better. We clearly have more work to do." Listen, if you dare, here.