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Tag Archives: Jim Belushi
"Going All Kanye On You": New Year's Eve (dir by Garry Marshall)
"New Year's Eve is the worst, people who don't drink or party all year suddenly going all Kanye on you."
That line was delivered by Ashton Kutcher in the 2011 film, New Year's Eve. Seven years ago, when the film was first released, I thought it was an awkward line, partially because Ashton Kutcher sounded like he was drowning in self-loathing when he said it and partially because the sudden reference to Kanye West felt like something that would be considered clever by 60-something screenwriter who had just spent a few hours scanning twitter to see "what the kids are into nowadays."
(Of course, hearing the line in 2018 was an even stranger experience. People who don't drink or party all year suddenly going all Kanye on you? So, they're putting on red MAGA caps and spending New Year's Eve tweeting about prison reform? True, that's the way a lot of people celebrated in my part of the world but I'm not sure how exactly that would play out in Times Square.)
In New Year's Eve, Kutcher plays a character named Randy. Randy is a comic book artist, which means that he's snarky and cynical and doesn't really see the point of celebrating anything. Fortunately, he gets trapped in an elevator with Elise (Lea Michele) and, with her help, he comes to learn that New Year's Eve is not the worst. Instead, it's the most important holiday ever created and, if you don't think so, you're worse than the devil.
Fortunately, Hillary Swank is present to make sure that we all get the point. Swank plays Claire Morgan, who is in charge of making sure that the ball drops at exactly the right moment at Times Square and who gets a monologue where she explains that the purpose of the ball is to make you think about both the past and the future. As she explains it, the world comes together one night a year, all so everyone can watch that ball drop. Apparently, if the ball doesn't drop, the new year doesn't actually start and everyone is trapped in a timeless limbo, kind of like Iron Man at the end of Avengers: Infinity War.
Of course, there's more going on in New Year's Eve than just Randy taking Kanye's name in vain and Claire refusing the accept that Times Square is not the center of the universe. There's also an old man (Robert De Niro) who wants to time his death so he passes right at the start of the new year. Sarah Jessica Parker plays the mother of frustrated teenager Abigail Breslin and gets to make a "girls gone wild" joke. (A Kanye reference and a girls gone wild joke in the same film? It's like a pop culture tsunami!) Michelle Pfeiffer tries to accomplish all of her new year's resolutions with the help of Zac Efron. Halle Berry worries about her husband (Common) , who is serving overseas. Josh Duhamel searches for a woman who once told him that his heart was more important than his business. Seth Meyers and Jessica Biel compete with Til Schweiger and Sarah Paulson to see who can be the family of the first child born in the new year. Jon Bon Jovi thinks about the woman that he nearly married and Katherine Heigl wonders if she's ever going to have a career again. In other words, New Year's Eve is an ensemble piece, one in which a bunch of slumming Oscar winners and overachieving TV actors step into small roles. It leads to some odd pairings. De Niro, for instance, shares scenes with Alyssa Milano while Sofia Vergara and Ludacris are both relegated to playing sidekicks. Michael Bloomberg, New York's then-mayor and general threat to civil liberties everywhere, also shows up, playing himself with the type of smarminess that already has many people dreading the prospect of his 2020 presidential campaign. This is one of those films where everyone has a familiar face but no one makes much of an impression.
New Year's Eve was directed by the late Garry Marshall and it's the second film in his so-called holiday trilogy, sitting right between Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. By most accounts, Garry Marshall was a nice guy and popular in the industry, which perhaps explains why so many familiar faces were willing to sign up to appear in New Year's Eve. Though the film is ruthlessly mediocre, it's actually the best of the holiday trilogy. For all the schmaltz and forced sentiment, one gets the feeling that the film actually is sincere in its belief in the importance of that ball dropping in Times Square.
I remember that, when New Year's Eve was first released, a lot of people joked that Marshall was going to make an ensemble romantic comedy about every single holiday, all with the hope that at least one of them would eventually become a television perennial in the style of It's A Wonderful Life or The Ten Commandments. Interestingly, that's exactly what happened with New Year's Eve. Yesterday, E! aired New Year's Eve three times, back-to-back! For better or worse, this film is probably going to outlive us all, ensuring that, in the far future, viewers will spend New Year's Eve asking themselves, "What's a kanye?"
Posted in Film, Film Review | Tagged Abigail Breslin, Alyssa Milano, Ashton Kutcher, Carla Gugino, Cary Elews, Cary Elwes, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Film, Garry Marshall, Halle Berry, Hector Elizondo, Hilary Swank, Jake T. Austin, James Belushi, Jessica Biel, Jim Belushi, John Lithgow, Jon Bon Jovi, Josh Duhamel, Katherine Heigl, Katherine McNamara, Lea Michelle, Lisa Marie Bowman, Ludacris, Michael Bloomberg, Michelle Pfeiffer, movie, Nat Wolff, new year's eve, review, Robert De Niro, Russell Peters, Ryan Seacrest, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sarah Paulson, Seth Meyers, Sofia Vergara, Til Schweiger, Zac Efron | 1 Comment
2017 In Review: Lisa Marie's Final Post About Twin Peaks: The Return (for now)
"Nothing will die. The stream flows, the wind blows, the cloud fleets, the heart beats. Nothing will die." — John Merrick's Mother, quoting Tennyson, at the end of The Elephant Man (1980)
Was Twin Peaks: The Return a movie or a TV show?
As I sit here on January 9th, 2018, that's a question that's still on my mind. There are many critics who insist that Twin Peaks: The Return should be viewed as being a 16-hour movie. It's a claim that I, myself, have made several times. In order to support this argument, we point out that David Lynch and Mark Frost didn't sit down and write 16 different scripts. Instead, they wrote one 900-page script which they then filmed and subsequently divided into 16 different "chapters." It's really not that much different from what Quentin Tarantino did with Kill Bill or what Peter Jackson did with both The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. As well, Twin Peaks: The Return was such a monumental artistic achievement that calling it a TV show just seems somehow diminishing.
And yet, the fact of the matter is that Twin Peaks: The Return did air on television. It aired in 16 different episodes, which were aired on a weekly basis. To many, that fact alone makes Twin Peaks: The Return a television show.
It may all seem like a silly question to some readers. However, for those of us who like to make best-of lists at the start of the new year, it is a legitimate issue. Should I include Twin Peaks: The Return at the top of my list of the best 26 films of 2017 or should I rave about it in my list of good things I saw on television in 2017?
My solution is to do neither. Twin Peaks: The Return was such a monumental achievement that it deserves a best-of entry of its very own.
(Of course, not everyone is going to agree. For everyone who loved Twin Peaks: The Return, there was someone else who hated it with just as much of a passion.)
Months after the show ended, Twin Peaks: The Return continues to haunt many viewers. As the Man From Another Place once told Agent Cooper, "She is full of secrets." When the show ended, many of the show's mysteries were left unsolved. Really, we shouldn't have been surprised. As a filmmaker, David Lynch has always been most interested in mysteries than solutions. What happened to Audrey? Why did Laura/Carrie scream? At the end of the show, was Dale trapped in another world or another time? Was BOB really destroyed?
Interestingly, David Lynch actually provided viewers with two endings. The first ending, which occurred halfway through Part 17, was an ending that would have been perfect for a television show. Dale Cooper, back to normal, defeated the bad guys and was reunited with all of his friends. The second ending — also known as Part 18— was a much more Lynchian ending as two strangers took a road trip to nowhere. Part 17 gave us hope for the future. Part 18 ended with a dark reminder that the past cannot be changed, no matter how much we obsess over it. For me, Part 18 was the most important chapter of Twin Peaks: The Return. Part 8, of course, is the chapter that got and continues to get all the attention. And Part 8 was probably one of the greatest stand-alone episodes in television history. But, when considering the reoccurring themes of Twin Peaks: The Return and all of Lynch's work, Part 18 was far more important.
What's interesting is that, while the show ended on a dark note, Twin Peaks: The Return was often Lynch at his most optimistic. For all the terrible things that happened, the show also featured a reoccurring theme of redemption. Two of the original show's most villainous characters — Dana Ashbrook's Bobby Briggs and Richard Beymer's Ben Horne — were reintroduced as two of the most sympathetic characters to be found in The Return. Agent Cooper finally escaped from the Black Lodge and not only got a chance to redeem himself by destroying Bob but he also destroyed his evil Double. He even got a chance to turn Dougie Jones into a good husband, father, and employee.
In the end, it would appear that Cooper's only mistake was thinking that he could change the past. He may have saved Laura but, in doing so, he just transformed her into Carrie, an unbalanced woman living in a house with a dead body on the couch. As her final scream confirmed, he could save her life but he couldn't erase her pain. The past is the past but the future can always be better.
Of course, it wasn't just the characters on the show who won redemption. The cast of Twin Peaks: The Return was truly amazing and, by the time the show ended, my opinion of several performers had changed forever. Who would ever have guessed that Jim Belushi would end up being one of my favorite characters? Or that Michael Cera would turn Wally Brando into a minor cult hero? Or that David Lynch would prove to be as good an actor as he is a director? Or that Balthazar Getty would get a chane to redeem his less than impressive work in Lost Highway with a chilling performance as the newest face of Twin Peaks corruption? Even the returnees from the original show — Dana Ashbrook, Wendy Robie, Sheryl Lee, Harry Goaz, Kimmy Robertson, Russ Tamblyn, Everett McGill, Peggy Lipton, Grace Zabriskie, James Marshall, Madchen Amick, and others — were given a chance to reveal new depths of character. Veterans like Robert Forster, Ashley Judd, Laura Dern, Don Murray, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Naomi Watts and Tim Roth shared the stage with newcomers like Chrysta Bell and Eamon Farren and they all came together to create an unforgettable world.
You could even argue that Twin Peaks: The Return was a comeback of sorts for Kyle MacLachlan. Hollywood has never seemed to really understand how to best use this appealing but quirky actor. Twin Peaks: The Return provided him with a chance to show what he can do, giving him not just one but three characters to play.
Twin Peaks: The Return gave us one final chance to appreciate some talented people who are no longer with us. Harry Dean Stanton was the face of old-fashioned decency. Miguel Ferrer provided snarky commentary, letting the audience know that the show understood how strange it was. Warren Frost returned briefly, still as reliable as ever as Doc Hayward. And Catherine E. Coulson, who was so often Lynch's muse, got to play the role one more time.
(Jack Nance, Don S. Davis, Frank Silva, and David Bowie all made appearances as well, a reminder that they may no longer be with us but they will never be gone.)
In the end, it seems appropriate to end this post with a picture of Ed and Norma, finally together. The world of Twin Peaks: The Return was frequently a dark one but sometimes, love won.
Tomorrow, my look back at 2017 continues with my picks for my favorite songs of 2017.
Previous entries in the TSL's Look Back at 2017:
2017 in Review: Top Ten Single Issues by Ryan C
2017 in Review: Top Ten Series by Ryan C
2017 In Review: Top Ten Collected Edition (Contemporary) by Ryan C
2017 In Review: Top Ten Collected Editions (Vintage) by Ryan C
2017 in Review: Top Ten Graphic Novels By Ryan C
25 Best, Worst, and Gems I saw in 2017 by Valerie Troutman
My Top 15 Albums of 2017 by Necromoonyeti
2017 In Review: Lisa Marie's Picks For the 16 Worst Films of 2017
Posted in Film, Film Review, TV, TV Review, TV Show | Tagged Ashley Judd, Balthazar Getty, Chrysta Bell, Dana Ashbrook, David Lynch, Don Murray, Everett McGill, Film, Grace Zabriskie, Harry Goaz, James Belushi, James Marshall, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jim Belushi, Kimmy Robertson, Kyle MacLachlan, Laura Dern, Lisa Marie Bowman, Madchen Amick, Mark Frost, Michael Cera, Michael Horse, movie, Naomi Watts, Peggy Lipton, review, Richard Beymer, Robert Forster, Russ Tamblyn, Sheryl Lee, show, Showtime, television, television show, Tim Roth, tv, TV Show, Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks; The Return, Wendy Robie | 21 Comments
A Movie A Day #254: Mr. Destiny (1990, directed by James Orr)
Posted on September 19, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland
When did your life first start to go downhill?
Larry Burrows (James Beluhsi) is convinced that, if he had not struck out while playing in the state high school baseball championship when he was 15, his life would have turned out so much differently. He would be a success, instead of a mid-level executive with money problems, a dissatisfied wife, Ellen (Linda Hamilton), and a weird best friend (Jon Lovitz, of course). On Larry's 35th birthday, Michael Caine shows up as Larry's guardian angel and, before you can say "George Bailey," Larry is transported to an alternate timeline where he won that baseball game and got everything that he wanted. Now, Larry has a big home, a sexy wife (Rene Russo), and a sexy mistress (Courtney Cox). But he doesn't have Ellen and Larry realizes that this all he ever wanted in the first place.
1990 was a busy year for Jim Belushi, starring in both this and Taking Care of Business. Of the two films, Mr. Destiny is marginally better. The story itself is predictable and the film makes a big mistake by trying to get dramatic during the final act. (Everyone knows that Larry's rival at the compamy is sleazy because he is played by Hart Bochner and everyone remembers Die Hard. There was no need to turn him into a murderer, even if it was in a parallel universe.) However, Michael Caine has the ability to make even the worst dialogue sound good. Belushi is relatively restrained and any film that features Rene Russo, Courtney Cox, and Linda Hamilton can't be all bad. Mr. Destiny is forgettable but inoffensively entertaining.
Posted in Film, Film Review | Tagged Courtney Cox, Hart Bochner, James Belushi, James Orr, Jim Belushi, Jon Lovitz, Linda Hamilton, Maury Chaykin, Michael Caine, Movie A Day, Mr. Destiny, Rene Russo | Leave a comment
A Movie A Day #250: Taking Care of Business (1990, directed by Arthur Hiller)
Jimmy Dworski (Jim Belushi) is a convicted car thief who only has a few days left in his criminal sentence but still decides to break out of prison so he can go see the Cubs play in the World Series. Spencer Barnes (Charles Grodin) is an uptight ad executive who needs to learn how to relax and have a good time. When Spencer loses his organizer, Jimmy finds it. Before you can say "The prince and the pauper," Jimmy has access to all of Spencer's money and the mansion that Spencer is supposed to be staying at over the weekend. While Spencer tries to survive on the streets and track down his organizer, Jimmy is living it up, spending money, impressing a Japanese businessman (Mako), romancing the boss's daughter, and taking care of business.
Made in the uncertain period between the end of the culture of 80s materialism and the start of the 90s indie boom, Taking Care of Business is a rip-off of Trading Places that came out six years too late to be effective. Everything that needs to be known about Jimmy and Spencer is apparentl from the minute that Charles Grodin's and Jim Belushi's names appear in the credits. Grodin was usually the best when it came to playing uptight yuppies but he seems bored in Taking Care of Business. Belushi mugs through his role, overplaying his character's blue collar roots. The movie builds up to a huge confrontation between Belushi and Grodin but it never really delivers, instead devolving into a predictable buddy comedy, complete with a trip to Wrigley Field and an elaborate plan to sneak Belushi back into prison before the warden (Hector Elizondo) discovers that he's been gone for the weekend. Taking Care of Business has a few laughs but it's never as good as the BTO song.
Posted in Film, Film Review | Tagged Arthur Hiller, Charles Grodin, Gates McFadden, Hector Elizondo, Jim Belushi, John De Lancie, Loryn Locklin, Mako, Movie A Day, Stephen Elliott, Taking Care of Business, Veronica Hamel | Leave a comment
TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 17 (dir by David Lynch)
Posted on September 3, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman
I imagine that there are a lot of upset people right now.
Maybe you're one of them. Maybe, even as I sit here typing this, you are seething with rage. "18 hours and it ends with Cooper trapped in yet another fucked up situation, with Laura Palmer still screaming!? What the Hell!?"
Well, my advice would be to calm down. Did Twin Peaks: The Return ends on a conventional note? No. Has anything about Twin Peaks: The Return been conventional? Hell no. This is a David Lynch production, after all. And Lynch has never shown an interest in tidy endings. In fact, if anything, Lynch has never shown much of an interest in endings. Blue Velvet concluded with a fake bird. Lost Highway ended with Bill Pullman appearing to transform yet again. Even Mulholland Drive ended with that evil creature still living behind Winkie's.
As far as I'm concerned, Twin Peaks: The Return provided 18 of the most intriguing hours in television history. Am I little bit frustrated that it didn't end on a definite note of conclusion? Sure. (With 15 minutes left in Part 18, I found myself saying, "Uhmmm … what about Audrey?") But I'll tell you right, I'm going to have a lot of fun debating what it all meant. Art is not about easy solutions.
(For the record, next weekend, I'm going to binge watch all 18 hours and then maybe I'll post my conclusions.)
It could be argued that this should not be called a conclusion. As Ryan pointed out in this week's peaks, the story continues. There may or may not be another season on Showtime. There may or may not be another Twin Peaks movie. Hell, Mark Frost may or may not write another Twin Peaks book. And, if none of that happens, the story will continue in our imaginations.
I went back and forth on whether or not to review both Parts 17 and 18 together or separately. In the end, I decided to review them separately because I consider Part 17 to be the conclusion on the third season of Twin Peaks while Part 18 feels like it's laying the groundwork for a fourth season.
Things open in South Dakota, with Gordon Cole (David Lynch) lamenting to Albert (Miguel Ferrer) and Tammy (Chrysta Bell) that he couldn't bring himself to shoot Diane. After Albert says that Cole is going soft, Cole replies, "Not where it counts, buddy." That line made me laugh, despite myself. Lynch just has such a sincere way of delivering his lines.
Cole goes on to explain that, before his death, Major Briggs shared, with him and Cooper, his discovery of an extremely evil and negative force that, "in olden times," was known as Jowday. Jowday eventually got shortened to Judy. Briggs, Cooper, and Cole put together a plan that could lead them to Judy. Apparently, before his disappearance, Philip Jeffries said that he was on the verge of discovering Judy. Cole theorizes that the Doppelganger is looking for Judy.
Suddenly, the phone rings. It's Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson), calling from Las Vegas, to announce that they've found Dougie Jones but that Dougie disappeared again. Mullins (Don Murray) asks to speak to Cole and gives him a message from Cooper. Cooper is on his way to Twin Peaks, to see Sheriff Truman!
In the Twin Peaks Sheriff's Department, the lock-up is still nosiy. The drunk (Jay Aaseng) and Deputy Chad (John Pirruccello) take turns taunting each other. Eyeless Naido (Nae Yuuki) continues to whimper. Freddie (Jake Wardle) and James (James Marshall) listen.
At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) gets a call. Jerry's turned up in Wyoming, apparently convinced that he can kill people with his binoculars. It might be time to say, "No more drugs for that man," as far as Jerry is concerned.
The next morning, the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) wanders through the woods outside of Twin Peaks. The vortex opens above him. The Doppelganger vanishes.
In the building above the purple sea, the disembodied head of Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) floats between two pictures, one of the woods and one of the Palmer House. The Fireman (Carel Struycken) waves his hand. In the background, we hear the electrical hum that been haunting the Great Northern.
The Doppelganger materializes outside of the Twin Peaks sheriff's station. As he walks towards it, he is seen by Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz). At first, I was worried that the Doppelganger was going to kill Deputy Andy but instead, he greets him with a cold, "Hello, Andy."
Andy leads the Doppelganger into the station, where they meet Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) and Sheriff Truman (Robert Forster). When the Doppelganger turns down a cup of coffee, everyone knows something strange is happening. Then, Andy starts to have visions of him and Lucy standing in the lobby, looking at something.
Meanwhile, in the holding area, it turns out that Chad has got a key hidden in his shoe. He gets out of his cell and heads for the weapons locker. When Andy shows up, looking for Hawk, Chad comes at him with a raised gun. But fear not! Freddie Sykes uses his green glove of power to throw open the door his cell, smashing Chad in the face and knocking him out.
Meanwhile, Lucy informs Truman that he has a phone call and he really needs to take it. Reluctantly, Truman takes the call and finds himself talking to … DALE COOPER! Dale and the Mitchums have just entered the Twin Peaks city limits and are on their way to the station!
The Doppelganger, realizing what is happening, reaches inside his jacket for a gun when suddenly — bang! The Doppelganger crashes to the floor. Standing behind him, holding a gun, is Lucy!
(Making this scene especially satisfying is that, during the second season Twin Peaks, Lucy was exclusively given comedic subplots that had nothing to do with the main storyline. 25 years, she finally gets to save the day.)
Way to go, Lucy!
Cooper tells Truman to make sure that no one touches the Doppelganger's body until he arrives. Andy steps into the office with Hawk, Naido, James, and Freddie. Suddenly, just as in Part 8, the woodsmen appear and start working on the Doppelganger's body. While that happens, Cooper and the Mitchums show up. And then Cole, Albert, and Tammy show up. It's getting crowded in that office!
Suddenly, the spirit of Killer BOB (represented by an orb that contains stock footage of Frank Silva) emerges from the Doppelganger's body and lunges at Freddie. Despite getting bloodied in the process, Freddie is able to use his green glove of power to smash BOB's face into a thousand pieces. Yay Freddie!
Cooper puts the ring on the Doppelganger's finger. The Doppelganger vanishes. Yay Cooper!
Cooper gets the key to his former hotel room from Sheriff Truman. "Major Briggs told me Sheriff Truman would have it," Cooper explains. (Yay Major Briggs!)
Now, what happens next is interesting. A lot of positive things happen. Bobby Briggs (Dana Asbrook) comes in the office and Cooper tells him that he and Major Briggs are proud of him. Blind Naido is revealed to actually be the real Diane, in disguise. (And yes, the real Diane still has eyes.) Cole and Albert are reunited with their friend. And yet, through the whole scene, we see the face of another Cooper, this one with a blank expression, superimposed over the action.
This was when I started to suspect that the finale might turn out to be a bit controversial. Are we seeing reality or are we watching a dream, a memory, or a wish? Not even the presence of the Mitchum girls in pink, passing out finger sandwiches, can change the ominous tone of all this otherwise positive scene.
Cooper glances at the clock in Truman's office and sees that the minute hand seems to be stuck.
A distorted voice says, "We live inside a dream."
Oh shit, I thought as I watched this scene, we've got 30 minutes left and things are about to get so seriously fucked up…
"I hope I see all of you again," Cooper says, "every one of you."
The room goes black. Cooper's superimposed face continues to passively stare.
Suddenly, Cooper, Diane, and Cole are slowly walking down a dark hallway. I believe they're in the Great Northern because, when they reach a door, Cooper uses his old hotel room key to open it. He tells Cole and Diane to wait behind and then he enters the room. "See you at the curtain call," Cooper says.
Inside the room is MIKE (Al Strobel) who recites the Fire Walk With Me poem. MIKE leads Cooper up a staircase and into the room the holds the metal device the contains the spirit of Philip Jeffries. Cooper asks to be sent back to February 23rd, 1989, the night of the death of Laura Palmer.
"Cooper," Jeffries says, "remember…"
"ELECTRICITY!" MIKE exclaims.
Suddenly, Cooper's back in 1989. He's watching Laura (Sheryl Lee) sneak out of her house and jump on the back of James Hurley's motorcycle while a jealous Leland (Ray Wise) watches from his window. Cooper watches them in the woods, listening as Laura tells James that Bobby killed a man. (This is true. Before he became everyone's favorite lawman, Bobby shot a Canadian drug runner in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. I always wondered if that would be acknowledged.)
Cooper watches the familiar scene play out but, when Laura jumps off of James's motorcycle, Cooper steps forward and changes history. Instead of allowing Laura to walk off to be murdered, Cooper tells her that he is taking her home. "I saw you in my dreams," Laura says.
The next morning, we see another familiar sight: Laura's body on the shore, wrapped in plastic. The body disappears. In archived footage from the original Twin Peaks pilot, we watch as Pete Martell (Jack Nance) says good morning to Catherine (Piper Laurie) and then heads out to fish. Except, this time, there's no body to distract him. Instead of calling the police and reporting a murder, Pete goes fishing.
(It's a sweet image and it was nice to see that, despite having been dead for 21 years, Jack Nance, who starred in Eraserhead and was the former husband of Catherine "Log Lady" Coulson, still appeared in the revival. Part 17 was dedicated to his memory.)
Where is Laura? Despite not being dead, she's not in her house. However, Sarah Palmer (Grace Zabriskie) is. Sarah is smashing the famous picture of Laura as homecoming queen into little pieces. Disturbingly, this would seem to indicate that, at the time that Laura was being abused and eventually murdered by her father, Sarah was not a bystander but was instead possessed by the same evil that possessed Leland.
Cooper leads Laura through the woods. Suddenly, Laura screams and is gone.
Standing in front the red curtains of the Black Lodge, Julee Cruise sings.
End credits.
On to Part 18, which I am about to rewatch after which I will write up a review. It might be a few hours. Until then, why not check out some of the other 81 Twin Peaks-related posts that we've published this year at the Shattered Lens!
Twin Peaks on TSL:
Twin Peaks: In the Beginning by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.1 — The Pilot (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.2 — Traces To Nowhere (directed by Duwayne Dunham) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.3 — Zen, or the Skill To Catch A Killer (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.4 "Rest in Pain" (dir by Tina Rathbone) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.5 "The One-Armed Man" (directed by Tim Hunter) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.6 "Cooper's Dreams" (directed by Lesli Linka Glatter) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.7 "Realization Time" (directed by Caleb Deschanel) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.8 "The Last Evening" (directed by Mark Frost) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.1 "May the Giant Be With You" (dir by David Lynch) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.2 "Coma" (directed by David Lynch) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.3 "The Man Behind The Glass" (directed by Lesli Linka Glatter) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.4 "Laura's Secret Diary" (dir by Todd Holland) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.5 "The Orchid's Curse" (dir by Graeme Clifford) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.6 "Demons" (dir by Lesli Linka Glatter) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.7 "Lonely Souls" (directed by David Lynch) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.8 "Drive With A Dead Girl" (dir by Caleb Deschanel) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.9 "Arbitrary Law" (dir by Tim Hunter) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.10 "Dispute Between Brothers" (directed by Tina Rathbone) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.11 "Masked Ball" (directed by Duwayne Dunham) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.12 "The Black Widow" (directed by Caleb Deschanel) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.13 "Checkmate" (directed by Todd Holland) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.14 "Double Play" (directed by Uli Edel) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.15 "Slaves and Masters" (directed by Diane Keaton) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.16 "The Condemned Woman" (directed by Lesli Linka Glatter) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.17 "Wounds and Scars" (directed by James Foley) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.18 "On The Wings of Love" (directed by Duwayne Dunham) by Jedadiah Leland
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.19 "Variations on Relations" (directed by Jonathan Sanger) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.20 "The Path to the Black Lodge" (directed by Stephen Gyllenhaal) by Lisa Marie Bowman
TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.21 "Miss Twin Peaks" (directed by Tim Hunter) by Leonard Wilson
TV Review: Twin Peaks 22.2 "Beyond Life and Death" (directed by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
Film Review: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
Here's The Latest Teaser for Showtime's Twin Peaks by Lisa Marie Bowman
Here's The Newest Teaser for Showtime's Twin Peaks by Lisa Marie Bowman
12 Initial Thoughts About Twin Peaks: The Return Parts One and Two by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Parts One and Two by Ryan C. (trashfilm guru)
TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Parts One and Two (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Twin Peaks Edition by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Parts Three and Four by Ryan C. (trashfilm guru)
14 Initial Thoughts About Twin Peaks: The Return Part Three by Lisa Marie Bowman (dir by David Lynch)
10 Initial Thoughts About Twin Peaks: The Return Part Four by Lisa Marie Bowman (dir by David Lynch)
TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Parts Three and Four (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
18 Initial Thoughts About Twin Peaks: The Return Part 5 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Part Five by Ryan C. (trashfilm guru)
TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return: Part 5 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
14 Initial Thoughts On Twin Peaks Part 6 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Part Six by Ryan C. (trashfilm guru)
TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 6 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
12 Initial Thoughts on Twin Peaks: The Return Part 7 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Part Seven by Ryan C. (trashfilm guru)
Ten Initial Thoughts on Twin Peaks: The Return Part 8 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Part Eight by Ryan C (trashfilm guru)
This Week's Peaks: Part Nine by Ryan C (trashfilm guru)
20 Initial Thoughts On Twin Peaks: The Return Part 10 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Part 10 by Ryan C (trashfilm guru)
TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 10 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
16 Initial Thoughts About Twin Peaks: The Return Part 11 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
24 Initial Thoughts About Twin Peaks; The Return Part 15 (dir by David Lynch) by Lisa Marie Bowman
This Week's Peaks: Parts 17 and 18 by Ryan C (trashfilm guru)
Posted in TV, TV Review, TV Show | Tagged Al Strobel, Amy Shiels, Andrea Leal, Carel Struycken, Carlton Lee Russell, Chrysta Bell, Dana Ashbrook, David Lynch, Don Murray, Don S. Davis, Eric DaRe, Frank Silva, Giselle Damier, Grace Zabriskie, Harry Goaz, Jack Nance, Jake Wardle, James Belushi, James Marshall, Jay Aaseng, Jay R. Ferguson, Jim Belushi, Joan Chen, John Pirruccello, Julee Cruise, Kimmy Robertson, Kyle MacLachlan, Laura Dern, Lisa Marie Bowman, Mark Frost, Michael Horse, Miguel Ferrer, Nae Yuuki, Nathan Frizzell, Owain Rhys-Davies, Piper Laurie, Ray Wise, Richard Beymer, Robert Forster, Robert Knepper, Sheryl Lee, show, Showtime, television, tv, TV Show, Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks; The Return, Walter Olkewicz | 3 Comments
Posted on August 28, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman
Cooper's back!
If you needed to sum up the latest episode of Twin Peaks: The Return in just two words, those would be the words to use. After spending 15 hours with just the Doppelganger and Dougie, it is so wonderful to finally have Dale Cooper back.
Tonight's episode of Twin Peaks was the best since Part 8. In fact, I would rate Part 16 even higher than Part 8 because Part 16 shows that David Lynch is more than just a surrealist. He's also a filmmaker with a heart. If you didn't get emotional when Dale said, "I am the FBI," then you have no feelings, it's as simple as that. You're a zombie or maybe you're a doppelgänger yourself. As we learned tonight, there's more of them out there than just evil old Mr. C.
Part 16 opens with the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) and Richard (Eamon Farren) driving at night. The Doppelganger pulls off to the side of a country road. He turns on his truck's spotlights and shines them on a nearby rock. The Doppelganger and Richard get out of the truck. Richard asks why they've stopped. "Pay attention," the Doppelganger replies, "and you'll find out."
The Doppelganger goes on to explain that he's looking for "a place." Three people have given him coordinates to the place. Two of the coordinates match. The Doppelganger says that the rock matches up with those two coordinates. The Doppelganger sends Richard to investigate the rock and, in a quite satisfying turn of events, Richard is electrocuted and violently killed. Bye bye, you douchebag.
"Goodbye, my son," the Doppelganger says, confirming what we all suspected about Richard's parentage.
Meanwhile, on a nearby hill, a stoned Jerry Horne (David Patrick Kelly) watches all of this play out. (Perhaps it's because he was too far away or because he was too high but Jerry didn't seem to notice that the man being electrocuted was his grandnephew.)
In Las Vegas, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Hutch (Tim Roth) are in a van, staking out Dougie's house and waiting for a chance to assassinate him. As they watch, the FBI pulls up outside of the house. When Special Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson) knocks on the front door, no one answers. Needless to say, he's not happy about that. As usual, he yells at Wilson (Owain Rhy-Davies). Poor Wilson.
The reason no one is home is because Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) electrocuted himself during Part 15 and he's now in a coma. Bushnell (Don Murray), Janey-E (Naomi Watts) and Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon) are all in his hospital room, looking over him. The Mitchum brothers (Jim Belushi and Robert Knepper) drop by, delivering flowers and finger sandwiches. They also announce that they're going to go to Dougie's house and drop off some food so that Janey-E doesn't have to worry about cooking.
Meanwhile, Bushnell gets a call from the office, telling him that the FBI just came by and that they're now heading to the hospital to see Dougie.
In front of Dougie's house, Chantal and Hutch are still hiding out in the van and waiting for Dougie to show up. "It's going to be a long day," Hutch says. (Leigh and Roth make such an entertaining couple that you almost feel bad that they're playing psychotic murderers.) They watch confused as the Mitchum Brothers and their entourage pull up to the house and drop off several trays of finger sandwiches.
Suddenly, a man pulls up behind the van. He's driving a car that has "Zawaski Accounting" on the side of it. However, this guy doesn't seem like your typical accountant. For one thing, he's extremely angry about Chantal and Hutch parking in front of his driveway.
"GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Chantal yells.
The accountant gets back into his car and starts to ram the van. This really pisses off Chantal so she shoots the guy. However, the accountant has a gun of his own and shoots back. This leads to a violent shooutout, one that leaves Chantal and Hutch dead. The accountant surrenders to Agent Wilson, who was also staking out Dougie's house.
Watching the fight from Dougie's front porch, Bradley Mitchum wonders, "What the fuck type of neighborhood is this?"
"People are under a lot of stress, Bradley," his brother explains.
Back at the hospital, Dougie suddenly wakes up. He sits up and he sees MIKE (Al Strobel) staring at him.
"You are awake?" MIKE asks.
"One hundred per cent," Dougie replies in a confident and authoritative voice…
OH MY GOD, COOPER'S BACK!
"Finally," MIKE says. MIKE goes on to explain that the Doppelganger is still out there. He hands Cooper the owl ring.
Cooper gives MIKE a strand of his hair and says, "I need you to make another one!" (I assume Cooper is telling MIKE to make another doppelganger.)
"I understand," MIKE says before vanishing.
It quickly becomes apparent that Cooper really is 100% back. He is no longer blank-faced. He is no longer blandly repeating the last two words that he heard. Instead, he is back to being the talkative Cooper that we all know and love. After getting the doctor to "verify that my vitals are A-okay," Cooper tells Bushnell that he's a good man and tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim to go to the car.
("Dad sure is talking a lot," Sonny Jim says.)
Before leaving, Cooper is told that the FBI is looking for him. Cooper smiles and delivers the line of the episode: "I am the FBI."
(Cooper also borrows Bushnell's gun and calls the Mitchum Brothers, telling them that he's going to need plane to Spokane, Washington.)
As Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim drive away from the hospital, the classic Twin Peaks theme music swells on the soundtrack, letting us know in no uncertain terms that Cooper is back and things are going to be okay.
In South Dakota, Diane (Laura Dern) gets a text from The Doppelganger. ": – ) All" As a distorted remix of Muddy Magnolias's American Woman plays on the soundtrack, Diane takes the elevator up to Gordon's room, where Gordon (David Lynch), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) are all waiting for her.
In a scene featuring some of the most brilliant work of Laura Dern's career, Diane tells them about the last night that she saw the Doppelganger. She reveals what the show had already heavily implied, that the last time she saw the Doppelganger, he raped her. Afterward, he took her to "some place like an old gas station."
Suddenly, Diane says, "I'm in the sheriff's station. I sent him those coordinates. I'm in the sheriff's station because I'm … it's not me."
Diane pulls a gun from her purse, just to get shot by Tammy and Albert. Diane immediately vanishes.
"Wow," Tammy says.
Suddenly, we're in the waiting room of the Black Lodge. Diane sits in a chair. MIKE is across from her. MIKE tells her that she's not real, that she was manufactured. "I know. Fuck you," Diane says before her face disappears in a puff of black smoke.
At the casino, the Mitchum Brothers greet Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim. Cooper tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim that he loves them but that he has to go away. However, he promises that he will return. Even though Cooper is no longer Dougie, he still loves both of them. "We're a family," he says, "Dougie — I mean, I will be back." Cooper reassures Sonny Jim that he is his dad, whether he's Dougie or not. "I have to go but I'll see you soon," Cooper says, "I'll walk through that red door and I'll be home for good."
Cooper leaves with the Mitchum Brothers. As they drive to the airport, the Mitchums ask Cooper if he really works for the FBI. Cooper says that he does. The Mitchums explain that they typically don't get along with law enforcement. In a classic Cooper moment, Dale says, "I read you 100%. Friends, that's about to change. I am a witness that you both have hearts of gold." The Mitchums are touched.
At the Roadhouse, the MC (JR Starr) announces that the Roadhouse is proud to present Edward Louis Severson (Eddie Vedder, whose real name is Edward Louis Severson). As Vedder sings Out of Sand (which, no offense to you Eddie Vedder fans out there, is perhaps the most boring song ever to be performed at the Roadhouse), Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) and Charlie (Clark Middleton) finally show up. They get a drink at the bar. Audrey raises a toast to Billy.
Suddenly, the MC announces: "And now … Audrey's Dance!"
Everyone on the dance floor moves to the side, retreating to the shadows. The house band starts to play Audrey's theme music from the original series. Audrey appears to go into a trance and she starts to do the same dance that, 25 years previously, she did at the Double R while everyone else in town was wondering who had killed Laura Palmer.
Suddenly, a fight breaks out in the Roadhouse. Two men are fighting over a woman named Monique. Audrey snaps out of her trance and runs off the dance floor. She goes to Charlie. "Get me out of here!" she says.
Suddenly, Audrey is in a white room, staring at herself in a mirror. "What!? What!?" she says as the mirror shakes…
And, for now, that's where we leave things.
Oh my God, what a wonderful episode! Twin Peaks: The Return concludes next week. As much as I want to see where Lynch's journey is going to lead, I am going to miss this show and its mysteries. After Twin Peaks: The Return ends, it's going to be hard to just watching mere television.
Posted in TV, TV Review, TV Show | Tagged Al Strobel, Amy Shiels, Andrea Leal, Bellina Logan, Chrysta Bell, Clark Middleton, David Lynch, David Patrick Kelly, Don Murray, Eamon Farren, eddie vedder, Giselle Damier, James Belushi, Jay R. Ferguson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jim Belushi, Jonny Coyne, Josh Fadem, JR Starr, Kyle MacLachlan, Laura Dern, Lisa Marie Bowman, Mark Frost, Miguel Ferrer, Naomi Watts, Owain Rhys-Davies, Pierce Gagnon, review, Richard Bucher, Robert Knepper, Scott Cameron, Sheryl Lee, show, Showtime, television, Tim Roth, tv, TV Show, Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks; The Return | 4 Comments
32 Initial Thoughts on Twin Peaks: The Return Part 16 (dir by David Lynch)
As always, these are just the initial thoughts that I had when I first watched the episode. Later tonight or tomorrow, I will rewatch the episode and post a full recap!
Several friends and acquaintances have already told me that tonight's episode is amazing. I can hardly wait to see what happened tonight.
These driving scenes always make me think of Lost Highway.
"I'm 25 years your senior…" You're also his father, Doppelganger!
Agck! So much for Richard. To be honest, that's the most satisfying Twin Peaks death so far.
I love watching Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh act opposite each other.
Poor Agent Wilson. Always getting yelled at.
The Mitchum Brothers are the nicest gangsters around.
"These are what you call finger sandwiches."
I absolutely hate it when people park in front of my house so I totally related to the whole driveway scene.
Well, so much for Chantal and Hutch. It's probably for the best. They were funny but psychotic.
"Finally." You got that right, one-armed man.
GODDAMMIT, COOPER'S BACK!
FINALLY, COOPER'S BACK!
I'd just like to point out that, if not for Sunset Boulevard, Cooper would still be Dougie. Thank you, Billy Wilder.
Oh, thank God — Cooper remembers everything that happened when he was Dougie. I was scared that, whenever Cooper returned, he would have to spend an episode or two getting caught up.
"I'm leaving." You tell them, Cooper!
"I am the FBI." And the classic Twin Peaks music playing in the background! I'm so happy right now.
Uh-oh … what does that text message mean? What is Diane about to do…
That is a remix of Muddy Magnolias's American Woman playing as Diane rides up the elevator.
Let us take a moment to all agree that Laura Dern is brilliant.
Whoa! Where did Diane go!? Actually, I think I know where Diane went…
I was right. There's Diane in the Black Lodge and … wait, she was manufactured? Oh my God…
So, if the Doppelganger manufactured Diane could that mean that maybe he manufactured Sarah Palmer as well? As you may remember, she did rip that guy's throat out a few episodes ago…
Considering how indifferent I've been to him in the past, it's amazing how much I love Jim Belushi in Twin Peaks.
Awwwwww! "We're a family." Kyle MacLachlan is a great actor.
"I am witness to the fact that you both have hearts of gold…" Awwwww!
Edward Louis Severson is, of course, Eddie Vedder's real name.
Audrey and Charlie finally made it to the Roadhouse.
"Ladies and gentlemen … Audrey's dance…" Is the Roadhouse the Black Lodge? It would explain a lot…
Oh my God, Audrey's in the Black Lodge!
This was a great episode and I can't wait to rewatch it. I can't believe that it all ends next week.
Posted in TV, TV Review, TV Show | Tagged Al Strobel, Amy Shiels, Andrea Leal, Bellina Logan, Chrysta Bell, Clark Middleton, David Lynch, David Patrick Kelly, Don Murray, Eamon Farren, eddie vedder, Giselle Damier, James Belushi, Jay R. Ferguson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jim Belushi, Jonny Coyne, Josh Fadem, JR Starr, Kyle MacLachlan, Laura Dern, Lisa Marie Bowman, Mark Frost, Miguel Ferrer, Naomi Watts, Owain Rhys-Davies, Pierce Gagnon, review, Richard Bucher, Robert Knepper, Scott Cameron, Sheryl Lee, show, Showtime, television, Tim Roth, tv, TV Show, Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks; The Return | 1 Comment


text:
CST Media Room
Cell Signaling Technology (CST) Enters Agreement with Roche for CDx Development
Danvers, MA January 11, 2023
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


All Saints at Gazeley, near Newmarket, was the first church that I visited after an international team of scientists conclusively proved that God did not exist. Thus begins the original entry for Gazeley parish church on this, the Suffolk Churches site, back in May 2003. At that stage, I had visited more than 600 Suffolk churches, and the site was moving towards a kind of completion. The entries were becoming longer and tending more towards the philosophical. The acquisition of a digital camera meant that I could already see I would need to do the whole lot again, but that would be in the future. For now, I had Norfolk in my sights, and there was an end-of-term feel to what I was writing about Suffolk. I am afraid that All Saints, Gazeley, took the full brunt of it.
The article generated a fair amount of correspondence, as you may imagine. It was discussed on BBC Radio Suffolk. I was questioned rather cautiously about it by someone in the Diocese.
The parish themselves took it rather well. To be honest, I had caught them at a low ebb, and they welcomed the publicity. I had also visited them immediately before a time of great change, when heads had fallen, but loins were about to be girded, and the Church of England was stirring itself again in that lovely village. One of the advantages of visiting every parish church in East Anglia is that you also get to see every parish, of course, and I soon fell in love with these sleepy, fat villages along the Cambridgeshire border. I would move there tomorrow, quite happily.
I hope I may be allowed the luxury of not rewriting the original Gazeley entry, but instead reprinting it in a slightly briefer form, and adding a postscript. It still makes the point I was originally trying to make, and the contrast between then and now shows this special place in a light it thoroughly deserves, for this is one of East Anglia's loveliest churches, and deserves all the visitors it can get. Anyway, I thought so then, and I certainly think so now.
2003: All Saints at Gazeley, near Newmarket, was the first church that I visited after an international team of scientists conclusively proved that God did not exist. I was intrigued to know how a wealthy, reasonably large Suffolk village would respond to this challenge. What would they do with their church? I had a theory. I suspected that the old church buildings would continue to find a community use. Small groups of people would still congregate on a Sunday mornings to sing comforting songs and feel good about each other. The churches would still be used by secular couples wanting a fancy wedding, and the local villagers would still want to be buried in the graveyard. But the building would no longer have a Christian use.
It was with some dismay, however, that I arrived in Gazeley to discover that the rot had already set in. The first sign of this was the way in which the large windows facing onto the road had holes the size of small rocks in them. This was disturbing, especially because the east window at Gazeley is one of the most remarkable Decorated windows in East Anglia. The head of the window consists of two elegant overlapping trefoils, but there is no head to the arch, the head itself having cusps. You can see it in the left hand column; Cautley thought it was unique.
I went and tried the door, but of course it was locked. Ever since the announcement of God's non-existence, heads have dropped in the Anglican community, and many of them no longer have the will to welcome strangers and visitors. I went next door to the Rectory. I knocked on the door, rang the bell. Nobody came. Perhaps the Rector had fled town. I was here with DD, who was becoming increasingly frustrated by our inability to raise a key. I had tried phoning several numbers I had taken from the Diocesan website, but nobody had answered. There were keyholders listed in the church porch, but no phone numbers. Gazeley is a fairly large village, and we didn't have a street map, but by driving around (sorry about the carbon monoxide, folks) we tracked some of the houses down. Several cars were on the driveways outside (as I said, this is a wealthy village) but nobody came to the door. Perhaps they had given up in despair. I felt Gazeley's strange torpor beginning to settle on me like snow.
We found the house where the last address was supposed to be. I went to the side door, and eventually someone answered. "Yes?" he was very curt, so I don't know who he was expecting. I, however, was a model of charm and good manners, and explained my mission to see inside Gazeley church, and that I understood he was a keyholder, a churchwarden in fact. His wife came to the kitchen door behind him, to see who it was. I could smell cooking, and I assumed that they were both about to eat, the time being 5pm on a Saturday.
"The church is locked", he said. I agreed that this was the case, and wondered if access was possible. "It was open earlier today, you should have come then", he observed. I concurred that it would have been better, but that we had been visiting other churches, and had only just arrived in Gazeley. He thought for a second. "I'll have to come with you. How much time will you need?"
Now, as at Tuddenham that morning, I was placed in a quandary. Quite simply, I had to lie. If I told him that DD would need at least two hours to document the place, there was no way we were going to get inside. On the other hand, I couldn't very well force the man to sit in the church waiting for us while his dinner got cold. I decided that the best thing to do was to get him into the church and then offer to lock it up for him.
The man checked that the twenty minutes I had suggested would not deprive him of his tea, and walked with me up to the church. DD headed off in his Elise and met us there. On the way, the man explained how he and his wife had spent the day preparing the church for the harvest festival. I made a mental note that this was another event that had survived the death of God, as would Christmas probably.
We walked across the wide open graveyard, and I looked up at the great ship of Gazeley church. There is no doubt which county you are in; here, the complete rebuilding of the nave with clerestory and aisles was at the start of the 16th century, and as at Blythburgh they didn't get around to rebuilding the tower before the Protestant Reformation intervened. The huge chancel had been built on the eve of the Black Death, and has similarities with the one at Mildenhall. Perhaps a rebuilding was planned, but it never happened. The tower was largely reconstructed in the 19th century.
To my surprise, he took us not to either south or north porch, but to the great west door. This led us beneath the tower and behind the organ, and we stepped into darkness. Daylight was fading, but here it must be always gloomy, among the broom cupboards and stacks of junk. The churchwarden found the light switches, and we walked around the organ into the body of the church.
Back in the days when God still existed, I had been to Gazeley church before. It had been a bright, cold February morning in 1999, and I was cycling from Newmarket to Ipswich. I'd arrived in Gazeley to find the church open, and had thought it lovely. There was a delicate balance between respect for the medieval and the demands of the modern liturgy. It felt at once a house of prayer and a spiritual touchstone to the long generations. However, the slight crimp in all this was that, at the time, the regular Sunday congregation of Gazeley church had been reduced to single figures. The same was true of neighbouring Kentford. The Rector may not have been to blame; he was very energetic in in his pastoral activities in the village, and people still turned up for the big occasions. But I wondered what effect all this had had, and asked the churchwarden.
He was very candid. He told me that they had had a terrible time of it. The electoral roll had fallen to just three people, and this is not a small village. Nobody wanted to come to church anymore. He had lived in the village for years, and had seen all this happen. It was only in the last year or so that he felt the church had been turned around by the new Rector (the one I had suspected of leaving town). Now, there were more than twenty of them, and they felt like a proper community again, he said.
I found this interesting. The previous Rector had been a Forward in Faith-supporting Anglo-catholic, and such a tradition was not terribly popular with the suits at Diocesan House. The new Rector had moved the church back towards the mainstream.
I looked around the vast open nave. All Saints is one of the biggest churches in the west of the county, and it must take a good five hundred people to make it feel full. I tried to imagine what it must have been like here, just three in the congregation.
The warden and his wife had tried hard to decorate the church for the harvest festival, and it looked particularly lovely towards the east. The greenery on the tombchest and piscina was very well done. But inevitably the fruit and vegetables were sparse, and there was no disguising the general air of shabbiness and decay underneath the decoration. I felt a bit sorry for the churchwarden; he had stuck with the place through thick and thin, and clearly loved it. The chancel and central eastern part of the nave were clean and tidy, but all around were the encroaching shadows, and here lurked the dust and dirt.
The higher you looked, the filthier it became. The clerestory windows were coated in grime, and the lower parts cloaked in decades of cobwebs. The medieval cross beams are still in place, but the Victorian roof above is leaky, and areas of damp showed above the high arcades. It seemed unlikely that all this could have happened in the short time since the Geneva declaration of 2007 announced all faith in a Supreme Being to be 'utterly null and void'. Mortlock had commented on the poor condition of the royal arms as long ago as 1988. Could it be that they were in this state when this building was still in use for Christian worship?
Having seen the stone holes in the windows, I was mightily relieved that the Victorians had reset the medival glass up in the clerestory. This seems a curious thing to have done, since it defeats the purpose of a clerestory, but if they had not done it then we might have lost them. The glass matches the tracery in the north aisle windows, so that is probably where they came from. I had seen them on my previous visit, but could not remember where they were, and when I asked the keyholder he did not seem aware that the chuch had any medieval glass. Eventually I found it. There are angels, three Saints and some shields, most of which are heraldic but two show the instruments of the passion and the Holy Trinity. I would not be surprised to learn that some of the shields are 19th century, but the figures are all original late 15th or early 16th century. The Saints are an unidentified Bishop, the hacksaw-wielding St Faith and one of my favourites, St Apollonia. She it was who was invoked by medieval people against toothache.
It struck me as I gazed up that many parish churches had much less to lose than Gazeley. At one time, these places were vibrant hubs of spiritual communities, but now they would be left to wither and die. Some might become houses; Gazeley's church is much too big. Some might be kept as examples of our redundant belief systems, but here at Gazeley there would be too much to tidy up and sort out. So All Saints at Gazeley must be considered merely as a treasure house. Here, then, is a guide to why it must survive the 2007 Geneva Declaration.
Firstly, the chancel. Here, the space created by the clearing of clutter makes it at once mysterious and beautiful. Above, the early 16th century waggon roof is Suffolk's best of its kind; Mortlock points out the little angels bearing scrolls, the wheat ears and the vine sprays, and the surviving traces of colour. The low side window on the south side still has its hinges, for here it was that updraft to the rood would have sent the candles flickering in the mystical church of the 14th century. On the south side of the sanctuary is an exquisitely carved arched recess, that doesn't appear to have ever had a door, and may have been a very rare purpose-built Easter sepulchre at the time of the 1330s rebuilding. Opposite is a huge and stunningly beautiful piscina, and beside it are sedilia that end in an arm rest carved in the shape of a beast. It is one of the most significant Decorated moments in Suffolk.
On the floor of the chancel there is a tiny, perfect chalice brass, one of only two surviving in Suffolk. The other is at Rendham. Not far away is the indent of another chalice brass - or perhaps it was for the same one, and the brass has been moved for some reason. There are two chalice indents at Westhall, but nowhere else in Suffolk. Chalice brasses were popular memorials for Priests in the 15th and early 16th centuries, and thus were fair game for reformers. Heigham memorials of the late 16th century are on the walls. Back in the south aisle there is a splendid tombchest in Purbeck marble. It has lost its brasses, but the indents show us where they were, as do other indents in the aisle floors. Some heraldic brass shields survive, and show that Heighams were buried here. Brass inscriptions survive in the nave and the chancel, dating from the late 16th and early 17th centuries.
Piled up and decrepit in the south west corner are some extraordinary 14th century benches with pierced tracery backs. Some of them appear to spell out words; Mortlock thought one might say Salaman Sayet. The block of benches to the north appear to have been made using sections of the 15th century rood loft. Further north, the early 17th century benches may appear crude, but were almost certainly the work of the village carpenter.
The 14th century font is a stunning example of the tracery pattern series that appeared in the decades before the Black Death. They may have been intended to spread ideas at that time of great artistic and intellectual flowering before it was so cruelly snatched away. The cover is 17th century.
The place is absolutely glorious, but few people seem to know about it, and fewer seem to care. If it had been clean, tidy and open, Simon Jenkins England's Thousand Best Churches would not have been able to resist it. Should the survival of such a treasure store depend upon the existence of God or the continued practice of the Christian faith? Or might there be other reasons to keep this extraordinary building in something like its present integrity? It needs thousands spent on it, hundreds of thousands, but is this something that we as a nation or culture should consider worth doing? Will it be sufficient to photograph it all and then let it fall, or do we need to rescue this building before it is too late?
The churchwarden and I stood and chatted while DD took his photos. Increasingly, it seemed to me that what the parish needed was not condemnation for the state the building was in, but encouragement to put it right. I pointed out several of the features outlined above, but I think the poor man was beginning to register quite what a task he had on his hands, so I fell quiet. I did reassure him that the building really was the responsibility of us all, and not just the Church of England; it was the heart and touchstone of the whole village, and not just of his faith community.
We'd been there for nearly an hour. I took pity, and offered to lock up and return the key to his house. He thought about it for a moment. I guessed he was weighing up whether or not he trusted us to make the church secure (he'd seen DD's car, and knew we wouldn't be stealing the font). "Well, you don't need to bring the key back", he said after some thought. "It's a yale lock. Just let yourself out, and let the door close behind you." And he said goodbye and went home - rather more thoughtfully, I fear, than he had left it.
It was dark. DD finished, and we packed up. I put out the lights, and stood for a moment in the wide gloom, in the infinite stillness. I listened to the sound of my own breathing. I knew this was the most endangered building I had visited so far on my travels. But I'm determined we won't lose it.
2008: At the end of the original article, I had pointed out that the 2007 Geneva Declaration on the non-existence of God was, of course, entirely fictitious. This was partly to reassure the good people of Gazeley, but also to save confusing any excitable Dawkinsites. Gazeley church was, after all, still in use for Christian worship. I also pointed out that the rest of the article was completely true as things had stood in May 2003. However, over the next few months I received a number of e-mails from people in the parish telling me how the church was being taken to task, tidied up, cleaned out, and, even more important, made accessible. Coming back in May 2008 I was delighted to discover than both the south and north doors were now open, and I stepped out of the sunlight into an interior which positively shouted its welcome to pilgrims and strangers. Perhaps it helped that it was such a beautiful day; the interior was full of light falling across ancient stone and woodwork. verything shone with love and care. Quite frankly, it lifted the heart. Perhaps the most moving sight was of the brightly coloured children's table and chairs, which have been given pride of place at the east end of the south aisle, rather than being tucked away under the tower or behind the font. Having once almost lost its congregation altogether, the community at Gazeley now puts its children's corner in a prominent position, where everyone can see it.
The wide open space of the chancel was still one of the loveliest interiors I knew in Suffolk; but now it had something else, a feeling of hope. Great things had happened here. I mentioned it afterwards to a Catholic Priest friend of mine, and he said he hoped I knew I'd seen the power of the Holy Spirit at work. And perhaps that is so. Certainly, the energy and imagination of the people here have been fired by something. I wanted to find someone to ask about it, to find out how things stood now. But there was no one, and so the building spoke for them.
Back outside in the graveyard, the dog daisies clustered and waved their sun-kissed faces in the light breeze. The ancient building must have known many late-May days like this over the centuries, but think of all the changes that it has known inside! The general buffeting of the winds of history still leaves room for local squalls and lightning strikes. All Saints has known these, but for now a blessed calm reigns here. Long may it remain so.


text:
HFF secures $72 million financing for Plaza at Landmark in Fairfax, VA
Plaza at Landmark, Fairfax, VA
Cary Abod
WASHINGTON, DC -– Holliday Fenoglio Fowler, L.P. (HFF) announced it has secured a $72 million refinancing for Plaza at Landmark, a 437,299-square-foot, grocery-anchored regional power center in Fairfax, Virginia.
Working on behalf of the borrower, Landmark HHH, LLC, HFF placed the 18-year, fixed-rate loan with AIG Investments.
Plaza at Landmark comprises two multi-tenant buildings and individual pad sites. The 98.2-percent-leased center is home to national and regional tenants, including Shoppers, Marshalls, Ross Dress for Less, LA Fitness, Total Wine & More, Dollar Tree, Verizon, DFurniture Galleries, BB&T, Five Below, GameStop and Chipotle.
Situated on 22.65 acres at 6244 Little River Turnpike, Plaza at Landmark is in Fairfax County on the border of Alexandria, one of the nation's most affluent communities, and in the Alexandria/I-395 Corridor submarket, one of the strongest in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area.
The center is located at the intersection of Route 236 (Little River Turnpike) and Beauregard Street and 100 yards from the Interstate 395 exit ramp.
The HFF debt placement team representing the borrower was led by managing director Cary Abod and senior managing director Dana Brome.
Dana Brome
"Landmark HHH, LLC and its affiliates are very fortunate to have a close, productive relationship with HFF, which has lasted over 25 years," said Marshall Ruben, principal of the borrower.
"We are extremely pleased that through the efforts of the HFF team we were able to work with the first class, professional real estate lending group at AIG and close this very beneficial long term, fixed-rate financing.
" The recently renovated Plaza at Landmark is now well positioned for outstanding long term growth and success for our tenants and the community we serve."
Labels: HFF Plaza at Landmark Fairfax VA 11-23-16
BLT Enterprises Sells Class A Industrial Building for $11.75 Million in Oxnard, CA
Quaker Sales & Distribution, Inc. Industrial Building, 2100 Eastman Avenue, Oxnard, CA
Bernard Huberman
OXNARD, CA – BLT Enterprises, a multi-faceted real estate investment company, has sold a 91,950 square-foot industrial building in Oxnard, California for $11.75 million. The building is currently 100-percent occupied by Quaker Sales & Distribution, Inc., one of the world's leading food and beverage companies.
"We have been a long-term owner in Oxnard and throughout Ventura County for more than three decades," explains Bernard Huberman, Founder and President of BLT Enterprises. "The sale of this property demonstrates our continued strategy to shift our focus and diversify our portfolio to high growth markets in Orange, Los Angeles and San Diego counties."
Huberman explains that BLT initially acquired the industrial building in 2001, and during its 15-year hold period, was able to significantly increase the value of the property.
"Our strategy has and always will be long-term holds," says Huberman. "Throughout our ownership of this property, we were able to create a steady stream of income and drive long-term value through a series of capital improvements and strategic leasing. This resulted in strong investor interest in the current market, which allowed us to sell the property for a premium price."
Quaker Sales & Distribution, a wholly owned subsidiary of PepsiCo., Inc. has occupied the building since 2012. Paul Farry at CBRE represented both the buyer and the seller in the transaction.
Lexi Astfalk/Jenn Quader
Labels: BLT Enterprises Quaker Sales & Distribution Building Oxnard CA 11-23-16
HFF secures $72 million financing for Plaza at Lan...
BLT Enterprises Sells Class A Industrial Building ...


Half of French and Japanese. The protagonist's classmate and a close friend of Alice.
<hidden by spoiler settings> She has actually the Power to look into the Future, to prevent disastrous events from happening.
She can also look into the Future to see what might happen to her and anyone close to her.
"Please stop your serious monologing while having my head in an armlock."


Tougher Minds at Colfe's is a unique approach to learning. Colfe's and the Tougher Minds consultancy have developed a bespoke programme for the school, in collaboration with teachers, pupils and parents.
All Year 7 pupils participate in Tougher Minds training which gives them the skills they need to successfully manage their personal wellbeing. The programme enables them to create realistic goals and targets so that they can learn to control their academic and social agendas. Sleep, diet and exercise are all key components in their social wellbeing development and this programme reinforces their importance.
Colfe's engages award-winning performance and well-being consultants alongside academic departments to develop teachers' understanding of how pupils learn. This results in a dynamic and original approach in the classroom which responds directly to the way in which children assimilate and process information.
Tougher Minds is based on the latest understanding of neuroscience and human behaviour: using skills and techniques which have been developed at the highest level in education, business and in elite sport. Forward planning and personal organisation are included in the programme, giving pupils the essential requirements for success in the 21st century.
Read the Colfe's Case Study on the Tougher Minds website.


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text:
Anisha Joneja, Tibet Post International
Previous Article Many ancient sports and games are very popular in Tibet
Next Article Thukpa – A cultural journey through the Tibetan community in India
Dharamshala, India — Located in Sidhpur, a suburb of Dharamshala, about 30 minutes from Mcleodganj, stands the Norbulingka Institute. The institute, erected for the revival of Tibetan culture and art, stands tall and proud.
We are here to stand with Tibet and to be a part of the fight: US diplomat
Norbulingka, which means Jewel Park in Tibetan, takes its name from the Summer Residence of the Dalai Lama in Lhasa, Tibet, which is known for its beautiful gardens and also a center of religious art.
The Norbulingka Institute was founded in 1990, by Kelsang Yeshi, Minister of the Department of Religion and Culture, and his wife Kim Yeshi, for the revival of the Tibetan art, and to provide a space for artists to practice their art. They imagined an institute in India, which would return Tibetan art to its former glory following the strictest standards in terms of the selection of materials, quality of craftsmanship, and adherence to traditional methods.
To experience a peaceful retreat from the ongoing bustle in the rest of Dharamshala, Norbulingka is situated among gardens that bloom with flowers and you can hear tiny streams babbling all around the institute with a picturesque view of the Dhauladhar Ranges in the distance. The buildings in the institute are constructed in the architectural style of following a ground plan based on the proportions of the 1,000 Armed Avoalkitesvra, or the Bodhisattva of Compassion.
The campus is a blend of water and earth together, and the groves of bamboo are sure to make you feel Zen and a part of nature. The Institute also houses a Temple, a Doll Museum and various craft workshops including Thangka Painting, Appliqué, Wood Carving, Wood Painting, Statue Making, Screen Printing, Sewing, Tailoring, and Weaving.
The Norbulingka Institute was officially inaugurated by His Holiness the Dalai Lama in 1995. Now, more than 20 years later, all the original master and patrons of the Institute have passed away and it is the students who carry the legacy forward. The quality of the craftsmanship remains at the highest standard.
The values of the Institute are about design, quality, and tradition. Every product has a story to tell through its materials, processes, and themes. From raw material to finished product, Norbulingka is about care and tradition. The artists that do thangka painting here sometimes take one or two months to finish a painting. The colors used are manufactured using locally available natural pigments.
These paintings are intricate and are drawn with precise measurements. Thangka is religious art. These paintings are not only valued for their aesthetic beauty but also are used as aids in meditational practices. At Norbulingka, artists practice Menri, which is characterized by life-like colors and a focus on a central figure surrounded by significant events or people in his life.
Norbulingka Institute also houses a temple called the Deden Tsuglagkhang Temple. The path that leads to the temple has ponds on both sides lead by streams. The streams turn at the prayer wheel before moving into the ponds. The prayer flags blow in the wind, carrying prayers with them. The temple, one of the most serene ones in Dharamshala, has a 14 feet gilded copper Buddha statue made by the Norbulingka Sculpture Studio. The murals on the wall surrounding it are also made by Thangka Painters.
To the left of the temple is the Losel Doll Museum. The museum houses a unique collection of about 150 dolls. The exhibit includes navigation in Tibet, a native family, and market scenes in Lhasa, Lhamo-Opera, and Cham Dance. Certain exhibits depict Ambdo, the land of snows, as it is known for its grasslands and horses; the attire of the Kongpo people that is different from the ensemble worn in rest of Tibet; and the lives of the nomads of the northern plains. Miniature tents depict yak hair, the dwellings of nomads who lived off the produce from yak, dzo (a cross between the cow and the yak), and sheep and bartered milk, butter, meat and wool for 'tsampa' –roasted flour, and other commodities.
An exhibit 'picnic and leisure' is a scene from Lhasa in the 1940s. One can find people playing traditional board games and drinking 'chang' or tea. Dolls dressed in silk and woolen robes, holding prayer wheels and rosaries, including paintings of snow-clad mountains behind the exhibits, bring life to the display.
At the Norbulingka Institute, there is so much to see and explore, that will transport you right to the lanes of Tibet. They have a café and a restaurant with exquisite Tibetan and Indian food. The servers wear their traditional Chuba and offer you help wherever required.
Norbulingka offers a host of workshops – short term and long term – to take in order to learn all the arts that are taught here. They offer customised workshops for groups and individuals. There is no application process for the workshops, the guests can join whenever and stay till whenever their schedule allows. During the duration of the workshop, the guests can stay on campus at Norling House where each room is designed after motifs like dragons, snow leopards, ibexes and so on.
At the Institute, there is also a gift shop that has products made by students of the various workshops. Norbulingka is a community with a sustainable business model and a strong social mission: keeping Tibetan culture alive by training people for the future. All proceeds from all of their business sections go directly back into running the institute.
Norbulingka is keeping alive centuries old Tibetan traditions in content, form, and process by providing apprenticeships in traditional Tibetan art forms and making Tibetan experience accessible for a contemporary lifestyle.
Tibet	Dalai Lama	Buddhism	Tradition	India	Norbulingka


3 Ways to save money for your rail ticket from Ebenhofen to Angleur?
Advance train tickets from Ebenhofen to Angleur have the lowest fares. You may book up to 3 months in advance.
The most wanted times and dates of departure to go to Angleur from Ebenhofen are almost always more expensive, so try to be flexible if possible.
Do you need help to purchase your ticket to Angleur?
Questions , remarks about your rail trip Ebenhofen to Angleur?


David Scott Smith's newest exhibition at BRG, Drink Me, sees the artist continue to find inspiration in the objects and textures typically found in nature or combined with natural elements. Using these he explores concepts ranging from consumption to beauty, which as he puts it, "can be found in abundance, even in the tragedy of our national and global predicament."
Smith is known for employing humor in his work, playing with absurdity and toying with contradictions. He credits his time as a child working in his family's taxidermy shop, where they would often pose animals on pieces of driftwood, with inspiring this. "Quail turkeys, bobcat, rattlesnakes - even though you don't usually see these animals on an ocean beach, for some reason it was very acceptable to perch them on driftwood," Smith explains. "In many ways I'm still fastening death to driftwood."
Smith has been a BRG artist member since 2014. He received his BA in English from Whitman College (Walla Walla, WA) and his MFA in Ceramics from Louisiana State University. He has exhibited nationally and has received many grants for both his work and collaborative interdisciplinary projects. His work can be found in the permanent collections of the Sonny Kamm Teapot Foundation and Southeastern Louisiana State University. Smith is currently completing a mold-making book (Voodoo Mold-Making); his work has also been featured in Pottery Making Illustrated and Ceramics Monthly.
This exhibition is presented alongside the latest works from Leslie Friedman, Kelli Scott Kelley, and Michaelene Walsh. All works from these four artists are on view, free of charge, during normal gallery hours (12 - 6 p.m., Tue - Sun) through May 31, 2018.


(CARICOM Secretariat, Turkeyen, Greater Georgetown, Guyana) The Caribbean Community (CARICOM) Secretariat has begun the process of restructuring with reforms instituted in corporate areas, Human Resource Management, Finance, and in the way projects are managed, CARICOM Secretary-General, Ambassador Irwin LaRocque, said on Friday.
Delivering remarks at the opening of the Thirty-Third Meeting of the Community Council of Ministers at the CARICOM Secretariat, the Secretary-General announced that the Secretariat's work programme had also been redesigned to provide for a more outcome-oriented focus guided by goal management.
"There is still some way to go, but change is underway," Amb. LaRocque told the gathering of Ministers and delegates who hold responsibility for Community issues.
Progress in undertaking reform, he pointed out, has encountered some challenges, including those that relate to the Secretariat's aging information technology infrastructure, staff retention and the increasing inflexibility in the use of donor resources.
"Taken all together these factors along with the challenging economic and fiscal situation faced by our Member States, affect the ability of the Secretariat to maintain and improve on our service to the Community and the implementation of the work programme. In the face of ever increasing mandates, the need for prioritisation, which lies at the heart of the decision by Heads of Government to devise a Strategic Plan, becomes paramount in order to ensure the focused and optimal use of our human and financial resources," the Secretary-General said.
His comments were made in the context of the finalisation and approval of the Community's first Community Strategic Plan, a major component of the Reform Process which is now being conducted and under which the restructuring of the CARICOM Secretariat falls. The Secretariat's restructuring will be significantly influenced by the Strategic Plan.
The consideration of the Executive Summary of the Five-Year Strategic Plan of the Community is one of the key agenda items of the one-day Meeting of the Community Council. The final draft of the Plan is to be placed before the Heads of Government of CARICOM at their Twenty-Fifth Inter-sessional Meeting to be held in St. Vincent and the Grenadines 24-25 February, 2014.
The Community Council will also deliberate on the budget of the Secretariat, contingent rights and the implications of the Shanique Myrie ruling handed down by the Caribbean Court of justice (CCJ), the ruling of the Dominican Constitutional Court on nationality and matters related to sustainable development of the Region.


For the first time ever, the Jamboree Committee has opened registration for live streaming for two conferences at the same time!
Can't watch a session live? Watch at your convenience through July 31st, 2018. Streamed sessions will be available for viewing within 24 hours after their original live broadcast.
Ancestry.com has generously underwritten the Jamboree Live Streaming program for several years and is doing so again this year. The SCGS is very appreciative of Ancestry's support of our conferences. Unfortunately, ever increasing costs have caught up to us and prevent us from offering this event at no charge.
The Jamboree Committee has kept fees as low as possible. For members, the fee is $10 for 12 classes. That's just 83 cents per class! For non-members, the fee is $55 for the 12 classes or just $4.58 per class. Compared to other conferences, SCGS Live Stream offerings remain a bargain!
Disclosure: I am a member of SCGS and have been off and on for about 10 years. I have received financial considerations from SCGS as a geneablogger and presenter in past years.


text:
import copy
import functools
import uuid

from fate_arch.common.versions import get_eggroll_version
from federatedml.feature.binning.base_binning import BaseBinning
from federatedml.feature.binning.quantile_summaries import quantile_summary_factory
from federatedml.param.feature_binning_param import FeatureBinningParam
from federatedml.statistic import data_overview
from federatedml.util import LOGGER
from federatedml.util import consts
import numpy as np

class QuantileBinning(BaseBinning):
    """
    After quantile binning, the numbers of elements in each binning are equal.

    The result of this algorithm has the following deterministic bound:
    If the data_instances has N elements and if we request the quantile at probability `p` up to error
    `err`, then the algorithm will return a sample `x` from the data so that the *exact* rank
    of `x` is close to (p * N).
    More precisely,

    {{{
      floor((p - 2 * err) * N) <= rank(x) <= ceil((p + 2 * err) * N)
    }}}

    This method implements a variation of the Greenwald-Khanna algorithm (with some speed
    optimizations).
    """

    def __init__(self, params: FeatureBinningParam, abnormal_list=None, allow_duplicate=False):
        super(QuantileBinning, self).__init__(params, abnormal_list)
        self.summary_dict = None
        self.allow_duplicate = allow_duplicate

    def fit_split_points(self, data_instances):
        """
        Apply the binning method

        Parameters
        ----------
        data_instances : Table
            The input data

        Returns
        -------
        split_points : dict.
            Each value represent for the split points for a feature. The element in each row represent for
            the corresponding split point.
            e.g.
            split_points = {'x1': [0.1, 0.2, 0.3, 0.4 ...],    # The first feature
                            'x2': [1, 2, 3, 4, ...],           # The second feature
                            ...                         # Other features
                            }
        """
        header = data_overview.get_header(data_instances)
        anonymous_header = data_overview.get_anonymous_header(data_instances)
        LOGGER.debug("Header length: {}".format(len(header)))

        self._default_setting(header, anonymous_header)
        # self._init_cols(data_instances)
        percent_value = 1.0 / self.bin_num

        # calculate the split points
        percentile_rate = [i * percent_value for i in range(1, self.bin_num)]
        percentile_rate.append(1.0)
        is_sparse = data_overview.is_sparse_data(data_instances)

        self._fit_split_point(data_instances, is_sparse, percentile_rate)

        self.fit_category_features(data_instances)
        return self.bin_results.all_split_points

    @staticmethod
    def copy_merge(s1, s2):
        # new_s1 = copy.deepcopy(s1)
        return s1.merge(s2)

    def _fit_split_point(self, data_instances, is_sparse, percentile_rate):
        if self.summary_dict is None:
            f = functools.partial(self.feature_summary,
                                  params=self.params,
                                  abnormal_list=self.abnormal_list,
                                  cols_dict=self.bin_inner_param.bin_cols_map,
                                  header=self.header,
                                  is_sparse=is_sparse)
            # summary_dict_table = data_instances.mapReducePartitions(f, self.copy_merge)
            summary_dict_table = data_instances.mapReducePartitions(f, lambda s1, s2: s1.merge(s2))
            # summary_dict = dict(summary_dict.collect())

            if is_sparse:
                total_count = data_instances.count()
                summary_dict_table = summary_dict_table.mapValues(lambda x: x.set_total_count(total_count))

            self.summary_dict = summary_dict_table
        else:
            summary_dict_table = self.summary_dict

        f = functools.partial(self._get_split_points,
                              allow_duplicate=self.allow_duplicate,
                              percentile_rate=percentile_rate)
        summary_dict = dict(summary_dict_table.mapValues(f).collect())

        for col_name, split_point in summary_dict.items():
            self.bin_results.put_col_split_points(col_name, split_point)

    @staticmethod
    def _get_split_points(summary, percentile_rate, allow_duplicate):
        split_points = summary.query_percentile_rate_list(percentile_rate)
        if not allow_duplicate:
            return np.unique(split_points)
        else:
            return np.array(split_points)
        """
        split_point = []
        for percent_rate in percentile_rate:
            s_p = summary.query(percent_rate)
            if not allow_duplicate:
                if s_p not in split_point:
                    split_point.append(s_p)
            else:
                split_point.append(s_p)
        return np.array(split_point)
        """

    @staticmethod
    def feature_summary(data_iter, params, cols_dict, abnormal_list, header, is_sparse):
        summary_dict = {}

        summary_param = {'compress_thres': params.compress_thres,
                         'head_size': params.head_size,
                         'error': params.error,
                         'abnormal_list': abnormal_list}

        for col_name, col_index in cols_dict.items():
            quantile_summaries = quantile_summary_factory(is_sparse=is_sparse, param_dict=summary_param)
            summary_dict[col_name] = quantile_summaries
        _ = str(uuid.uuid1())
        for _, instant in data_iter:
            if not is_sparse:
                if type(instant).__name__ == 'Instance':
                    features = instant.features
                else:
                    features = instant
                for col_name, summary in summary_dict.items():
                    col_index = cols_dict[col_name]
                    summary.insert(features[col_index])
            else:
                data_generator = instant.features.get_all_data()
                for col_idx, col_value in data_generator:
                    col_name = header[col_idx]
                    if col_name not in cols_dict:
                        continue
                    summary = summary_dict[col_name]
                    summary.insert(col_value)

        result = []
        for features_name, summary_obj in summary_dict.items():
            summary_obj.compress()
            # result.append(((_, features_name), summary_obj))
            result.append((features_name, summary_obj))

        return result

    @staticmethod
    def _query_split_points(summary, percent_rates):
        split_point = []
        for percent_rate in percent_rates:
            s_p = summary.query(percent_rate)
            if s_p not in split_point:
                split_point.append(s_p)
        return split_point

    @staticmethod
    def approxi_quantile(data_instances, params, cols_dict, abnormal_list, header, is_sparse):
        """
        Calculates each quantile information

        Parameters
        ----------
        data_instances : Table
            The input data

        cols_dict: dict
            Record key, value pairs where key is cols' name, and value is cols' index.

        params : FeatureBinningParam object,
                Parameters that user set.

        abnormal_list: list, default: None
            Specify which columns are abnormal so that will not static when traveling.

        header: list,
            Storing the header information.

        is_sparse: bool
            Specify whether data_instance is in sparse type

        Returns
        -------
        summary_dict: dict
            {'col_name1': summary1,
             'col_name2': summary2,
             ...
             }

        """

        summary_dict = {}

        summary_param = {'compress_thres': params.compress_thres,
                         'head_size': params.head_size,
                         'error': params.error,
                         'abnormal_list': abnormal_list}

        for col_name, col_index in cols_dict.items():
            quantile_summaries = quantile_summary_factory(is_sparse=is_sparse, param_dict=summary_param)
            summary_dict[col_name] = quantile_summaries

        QuantileBinning.insert_datas(data_instances, summary_dict, cols_dict, header, is_sparse)
        for _, summary_obj in summary_dict.items():
            summary_obj.compress()
        return summary_dict

    @staticmethod
    def insert_datas(data_instances, summary_dict, cols_dict, header, is_sparse):

        for iter_key, instant in data_instances:
            if not is_sparse:
                if type(instant).__name__ == 'Instance':
                    features = instant.features
                else:
                    features = instant
                for col_name, summary in summary_dict.items():
                    col_index = cols_dict[col_name]
                    summary.insert(features[col_index])
            else:
                data_generator = instant.features.get_all_data()
                for col_idx, col_value in data_generator:
                    col_name = header[col_idx]
                    summary = summary_dict[col_name]
                    summary.insert(col_value)

    @staticmethod
    def merge_summary_dict(s_dict1, s_dict2):
        if s_dict1 is None and s_dict2 is None:
            return None
        if s_dict1 is None:
            return s_dict2
        if s_dict2 is None:
            return s_dict1

        s_dict1 = copy.deepcopy(s_dict1)
        s_dict2 = copy.deepcopy(s_dict2)

        new_dict = {}
        for col_name, summary1 in s_dict1.items():
            summary2 = s_dict2.get(col_name)
            summary1.merge(summary2)
            new_dict[col_name] = summary1
        return new_dict

    @staticmethod
    def _query_quantile_points(col_name, summary, quantile_dict):
        quantile = quantile_dict.get(col_name)
        if quantile is not None:
            return col_name, summary.query(quantile)
        return col_name, quantile

    def query_quantile_point(self, query_points, col_names=None):

        if self.summary_dict is None:
            raise RuntimeError("Bin object should be fit before query quantile points")

        if col_names is None:
            col_names = self.bin_inner_param.bin_names

        summary_dict = self.summary_dict

        if isinstance(query_points, (int, float)):
            query_dict = {}
            for col_name in col_names:
                query_dict[col_name] = query_points
        elif isinstance(query_points, dict):
            query_dict = query_points
        else:
            raise ValueError("query_points has wrong type, should be a float, int or dict")

        f = functools.partial(self._query_quantile_points,
                              quantile_dict=query_dict)
        result = dict(summary_dict.map(f).collect())
        return result

class QuantileBinningTool(QuantileBinning):
    """
    Use for quantile binning data directly.
    """

    def __init__(self, bin_nums=consts.G_BIN_NUM, param_obj: FeatureBinningParam = None,
                 abnormal_list=None, allow_duplicate=False):
        if param_obj is None:
            param_obj = FeatureBinningParam(bin_num=bin_nums)
        super().__init__(params=param_obj, abnormal_list=abnormal_list, allow_duplicate=allow_duplicate)

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub