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May 6, 2017 Humour, Literary fiction, Romantic, Short Stories, Whimsy Leave a comment AttractionEmbarrassmentlovePhysicsStudentStudyTennisTournamentTutorial
Some you win
One of the blessings of maturity is that you realise that winning is not the be-all and end-all of life. Sometimes trying too hard to win can cost you a high price. This short story tells how Damien and Gill, Sue and Tim, compete in the College tennis tournament. The prize for winning is a trophy. But what might you lose if you pursue it ruthlessly?
"Did you manage those problems for our physics tutorial next Monday?"
Sue and Gill had brought folding chairs into the quad so they could enjoy the sunshine of a glorious early June morning while they studied. Gill nodded.
"Yes, I think so."
"I suppose you couldn't go through them with me? I'm struggling to do even one of them."
Gill looked up from her book. "Do you mind if I just finish this section?"
"No, of course not. I'll go and fetch the work I've done so far." Sue jumped to her feet and bounded up three flights of stairs to her room, gathered an untidy armful of papers from her desk, and scuttled back down.
Gill looked through the assortment of pages until she found the first problem.
"Look!" she said. "You've almost finished this. You're using the right equations, you've just made a mistake in the arithmetic."
Sue scanned the paper.
"Oh, yes!" She took the paper from Gill and corrected the error. It didn't take her many minutes to finish the problem. Meanwhile, Gill glanced through the others. 'Sue seems to have completely misunderstood the concept' she thought. Carefully she talked her friend through the work.
"Oh, wow! Thank you so much, Gill!" Sue hugged Gill warmly.
"Is this a private hugfest, or can anyone join in?" Gill jumped. Sue laughed.
"Hi, Tim!"
He leaned forward, and she kissed him tenderly. They'd been dating for a couple of months, and she could still hardly believe her luck. She gazed at him, eyes shining. Smiling he took both her hands in his, moving even closer. "Tim! Look out! You'll have the chair over!"
"I'd better be off," said Gill. "I must take this book back to the library."
"Get off, Tim!" Sue pushed him away. "Gill, I'm really grateful for your help. Would you like to join a few of us punting on Saturday? We're going up to Grantchester."
"For a liquid lunch," added Tim. "You'd be very welcome. Bring a friend if you like; there's room for another one in the punt."
"Yes, I'd love to join you."
On her way to the library, Gill paused at the College notice board. The advertisement for the College tennis tournament was still there, and she looked to see whether Sue had signed it yet. She'd been talking about it for ages.
"How about teaming up for the tennis this afternoon?" Gill jumped. She hadn't heard Damien approach.
"I'm not very good," she said.
"No problem. I'm no good either. But I expect it will be fun!"
Gill smiled shyly at him. "As long as you're sure you don't mind if I'm useless." Her blue eyes, with their long dark lashes, peered up at him from beneath a heavy fringe of blonde hair.
Damien fished a biro out of his pocket. "Damien and Gill". His handwriting was neat, even on the vertical surface of the notice board. He grinned, teeth creamy against his short, curly beard. "Got a lecture now. See you at the tennis courts at a quarter to two!" Gill looked again at their two names, paired on the notice board. She stared at them for several long seconds.
Sue came panting up.
"Phew! Just as well the notice is still there. Tim would have killed me if we weren't in the tourney. I said I'd sign us up last week!"
Hastily, she scrawled "Sue and Tim" onto the notice.
"Damien's partnering you? Wow! Lucky you! What a hunk!"
"I just hope I don't let him down."
"Don't worry. It won't matter how badly you play. It's not the tennis court where he hopes you'll be brilliant!" Thus, the wisdom of a twenty-one year old to a nineteen year old. Gill blushed crimson.
As luck would have it, Damien and Gill were drawn against Sue and Tim in the first round. They were on Court 3, a pretty court a little distance from the pavilion. The grass was smooth, short, and scarcely worn. The lines were fresh and bright white. There were birch trees to shelter it from the prevailing wind.
Damien tossed the ball high and opened the match with a clean ace. Fifteen-love. Tim shook his head. He should at least have laid a racket on the service. Sue moved from the net to receive Damien's next delivery.
"Go back a pace," suggested Tim. "The ball came high off the ground."
Sue retreated well behind the baseline. The service was fast. She poked at it, connected, and the ball plopped invitingly over the net, ideally placed for Gill to hit a winner. Gill swung hard, and despatched the ball heavily into the net. Fifteen all.
Tim was ready for the speed of Damien's next service, but not for its direction. The ball swung fiercely and landed just the right side of the centre line. Tim's attempt at a backhand return missed completely. Thirty-fifteen.
Sue stood well back again. Damien slightly mishit his serve, and Sue returned it straight down the line. Damien was left flat-footed. Thirty all.
Tim grinned. "Nice shot."
A double-fault. Thirty-forty.
Damien's next service was gentler, as he sought to recover his accuracy. Sue stepped in and hit the ball hard towards Gill, who squealed and dodged. Damien ran across court behind her and just retrieved the ball. Hit at full stretch, his shot rocketed down the line leaving Sue stranded. Deuce.
Damien's next service was fast and accurate, but Tim returned it.
"Yours!" yelled Damien to Gill, inviting her to take the volley.
Gill turned. "What?" she asked. The ball bounced between them, neither of them touching it. Advantage Tim and Sue.
Trying to conceal his exasperation, Damien walked across to Gill.
"I'm sorry I distracted you," he said. "When there's a ball that either of us could hit, I'll shout "Yours" if I want you to play the shot. And will you do the same for me, please?"
"Yes. Silly of me. Sorry." She felt as though her blush extended right up to her hairline.
Damien double-faulted, and the game was lost.
After a while, Damien stopped trying to coach Gill. He tried to cover her, so that when she missed a shot he was able to keep the ball in play. For a while the strategy succeeded. They were ahead three games to two after Damien's second service game.
Tim was next to serve. Damien won the first point with a blistering return. Tim served to Gill. The sun was in his eyes, and the ball went into the net. His second service was slightly mishit, and bounced well for Gill. She gritted her teeth, opened her shoulders, and swung with venom and frustration. The ball flew between Tim and Sue, bouncing just inside the baseline.
Tim put down his racket and applauded. "Good shot!" he called. Sue ran up to the net, beckoning to Gill to come close.
"Don't let Damien get you down," she whispered. "Play for yourself, not for him."
Gill tried to take the advice, and she did, indeed, play a few more good shots. But all the time she felt that Damien was watching her, covering for her, trying to win the match for both of them by his own efforts. Her shoulders slumped, and the corners of her mouth turned down. She trudged from place to place on the court, wondering what she was doing there, and longing for the ordeal to be over.
Slowly the first set slipped away from Damien and Gill.
Sue and Tim were starting to show their quality. Tim played hard. 'The quicker we win, the less embarrassing it will be for Gill,' he thought.
Sue became very cross at her friend's humiliation. When one of her shots hit Damien in the face, she was hard pressed not to show her delight. Sue and Tim won the second set six-one, and with it the match.
As soon as they'd all shaken hands, Sue grabbed Gill, and walked back to the pavilion with her. Damien watched them go. He'd begun to half-realise that Gill was upset. He watched as Sue passed Gill a tissue to wipe her eyes.
'Shit!' he thought. 'You stupid so-and-so. You've totally blown it!'
He looked at Tim, who shrugged. "Not clever, Damien. Not clever at all."
Damien looked towards the pavilion. Would it be worth trying to apologise? No. That would just make matters worse. He chucked his racket into his bag and slunk away to sit and sulk in his room.
Tim sauntered back to the pavilion. Perhaps tomorrow he would invite Damien to the punting party, give him a chance to recover his position with Gill. He'd better check that with Sue first, though. He couldn't be completely sure, but he thought she'd deliberately tried to hurt Damien in that second set…
December 13, 2016 December 13, 2016 Humour, Short Stories, Whimsy 3 Comments A Gwendolen story
Santa's Problem – a Gwendolen story
Several readers enjoyed 'The Wonky Wand' which introduced Gwendolen the fairy. I felt like contributing to the festive mood, so here's another story about her. After all, as Lynn Love commented, everybody loves a sweary fairy!
As a practising scientist I hadn't believed in fairies – until I met Gwendolen. Eight inches tall, dumpy and pasty-faced, with lop-sided iridescent wings, she was undoubtedly real. Meeting her had been entertaining as well as an eye-opener. And, of course, I couldn't forget that she had arranged the introduction to Paul, my husband.
I had never expected to hear from her again, but one December evening, when Paul was out, I heard a crash from the bedroom.
"Oh, bugger." I heard a ripping sound. "Oh, BUGGER!"
There was Gwendolen, red-faced and with a comprehensively torn dress. "Misjudged the landing, and got caught up in your bedside lamp," she explained. "I'm glad you can see me. I thought you might have lost the gift; you know, with Paul and all that. Physical satisfaction tends to make discernment less acute. I hope you are enjoying life with Paul?" She peered at me a little doubtfully.
The subject seemed to embarrass her, and I was tempted to tease her by asking her to explain what she meant. But she looked worried, so I just nodded, smiled and said, "Yes, thank you."
She had plainly made an effort. Her hair was brushed. The star on her wand twinkled quite prettily. It was a shame about the torn dress.
"It's Santa," she said. "He has a big problem." She looked hopefully at me.
"Santa. Um. Gwendolen, are you telling me that Santa is real?"
Gwendolen eyed me up. "I do sometimes forget that you're not eight years old. Yes, Santa's real and, yes, he does deliver presents." She folded her arms, daring me to disbelieve.
"But Gwendolen, love, surely Santa couldn't travel fast enough to deliver all those presents in a single twenty four hour period?"
"Well of course, he couldn't. D'uh! How could you run a business like that? A factory geared up to producing for delivery on a single day of the year? Bonkers. What would you do with the elves the rest of the time? No, production takes place steadily throughout the year, and parcels are despatched every day on time-lapse delivery."
"Elves, Gwendolen?"
"Yes, well let's not say too much about them. Some of us are very concerned that Santa will lose control of them, and then where will we be? He claims that elfin safety is his top priority, but I'm not convinced."
"And time-lapse delivery. It sounds neat, but how does it work?"
"You pop the package into the despatcher, the computer attaches space-time co-ordinates, and the delivery system then transfers the package to those co-ordinates. That's where the problem lies. The despatcher uses a quantum computer and Santa's wife, Mary,…"
"Not Mary Christmas?" I breathed.
"No, don't be silly, she's Mrs Mary Claus, anyway, she spilled coffee on the computer, and the qubits decohered and, well, there's going to be some disappointed children this Christmas. Unless you can help."
"If Santa's really using a quantum computer, I doubt I can help. We humans only have experimental models, and I would never be allowed to use one."
"Santa's head of IT said it could be done by ordinary human computers if we could link enough together." She screwed up her face in thought. "Massively parallel computing, I think he said it was."
"How many would we need?"
"About a thousand."
"Whoo! That's a lot of computers. The only way we could do that would be with a botnet, and a big one at that."
Now, I'm not a computer scientist, but I know one or two. There's Chloe, who's studying computing and there's Amanda, who's up for anything that looks like fun. They might have access to a big enough network.
"Where will the data come from, Gwendolen?"
She pointed at the floor. A DVD was lying there. "That's why I hit the lamp," she explained. "It's a big thing to carry while you're flying."
"And how do we return the processed data to Santa?"
"Same way. One of those pretty, shiny discs."
"It will take time, Gwendolen. I'll have to ring my friends."
"That's alright. Paul's never back from the Golf Club committee until eleven o'clock." Her voice died away as I looked at her.
"How do you know about Paul and the Golf Club? Have you been…" I wondered how to ask her politely whether she'd been spying on us.
Have you ever seen a fairy looking shifty? Gwendolen looked at the floor, shuffled her feet, gave her wand a guilty twirl. "Well, you always feel interested in the people whose wishes you've granted. You want to know how they're getting on. And I haven't been here while you've been…you know."
I didn't altogether believe her. In fact, I didn't believe her at all. "Oh, Gwendolen," I sighed.
Amanda thought the whole thing was a great joke. I don't know whose computers she hijacked, but the following day she rang me especially to tell me to watch the evening news. Apparently Russian computers had hacked the CIA. I didn't want to know. All I needed was to download the data and burn it onto a DVD.
Gwendolen came back for it the following evening. I was sitting at the computer in the study when I heard a cough. There she was, sitting behind me. Wordlessly, I passed her the DVD.
"Christmas is saved," she murmured. "Thank you so much. I won't stay. I can feel Paul coming." Her little face softened. "I'm really glad your marriage is working out so well," she said. "You know, your wish was only the start; all the rest, you've managed for yourselves. Good-bye – must fly!" She vanished just as Paul came in.
"Is that a new perfume? Nice!" He nuzzled his face into my neck.
Gwendolen, don't you dare!
December 11, 2016 Heartwarming, Humour, Short Stories Leave a comment Heartwarming
Shock News
"Joshua, get a move on. We're going to be late!"
Maureen called downstairs as she tried to wrestle her daughter's reluctant arm into the sleeve of her raincoat.
"Ow, Mummy, you're hurting."
"I'm sorry, Hannah, but can you try and help rather than just squiggling about? Look, here's the armhole, you do it."
Solemn-eyed, little Hannah tried.
"It doesn't reach, Mummy. I told you."
"Joshua, what on earth are you doing? Come up here and put your coat and shoes on."
Maureen seized Hannah's arm, tucked it just a little further back, so that the hand went into the sleeve. "Push," she said. Hannah pushed and her arm slid into place. She looked at Maureen and her lower lip trembled. "You hurted me, Mummy."
Joshua emerged from his bedroom holding a model fighter plane, and ran up the stairs. "And the F-16's chasing the MiG in a seventy degree climb. Eeeeeeoww!"
"Joshua!" She snatched the plane from his hand, popped it down on the table in the hall. "Shoes. Coat. Now!" Joshua scowled, but did as he was told.
It was raining. It was cold. They were late. She chivvied them into the car.
"Mummy's going to drive you to school now. If you make a fuss I shall probably run somebody over and kill them, so BE QUIET!"
Maureen knew shouting at them was unwise, but at least they shut up. She turned the key in the ignition. The engine coughed once. She turned the key again. Nothing. Third time for luck? Nothing. She took a deep breath.
"Right. We'll have to walk to school. Out you get, Josh. Hannah! Climb out the same side as Josh, so you're on the pavement."
"I don't want to walk, Mummy. I'm too tired. Can I go in the buggy?"
"Eeeeoooww!"
"Joshua, I told you to leave the plane at home. Go and post it through the letterbox. Hannah, if I push you to school in the buggy, all the other girls will think you're a baby."
Hannah pouted. "I could get out down the road and you could hide it," she suggested.
They had walked about a hundred metres down the road when Sally pulled up in her bright yellow Fiat. She grinned at them.
"Do you want a lift, Mo?"
"Gosh, thanks, yes. You're a life-saver, Sal!"
As Maureen scrambled out with the children, Sally said, "I'll wait and give you a lift to work if you like, Mo."
Maureen shook her head. "Thanks, but I must go back to the house to pick up my stuff before I go in."
"That's okay. I work flexi, remember?"
"Thanks. That's really kind."
Maureen knew that it was her fault they were late. She'd been worried about her doctor's appointment this afternoon, and (stupidly) she'd delayed making arrangements for the children to be picked up after school. That had meant frantic phone calls to friends before school, until Pat had saved her bacon – but by then they were late.
It was a busy day. Maureen felt wrung out by the time she left work to visit the doctor. And he confirmed what she'd thought.
"Yes, Mrs Rogers, you're definitely expecting a baby. Number three, isn't it? The others are Joshua and Hannah, yes?"
'How am I going to tell Nigel?' she thought. 'Only last week he was saying how nice it was that the children were growing up and we could enjoy some time together again.'
"It's tough with three, isn't it? Are you happy that you'll be able to cope? I mean, there are steps that can be taken…"
"Are you suggesting I have an abortion?"
"No, no. That's a decision that only you can make. But you would need to decide fairly quickly if you wanted to consider the possibility."
"Yes, well I delayed coming in until I was sure, because you fitted me with the coil six months ago and I thought everything was taken care of!"
"No form of contraception is perfect I'm afraid, and you had been on the pill rather a long time."
"Anyway, I don't want an abortion. Absolutely not. Not a chance. In fact, I'm outraged that you should even suggest it."
Dr Thomson did his best not to shrug. Maureen glared at him, and stormed out, bumping into someone as she rounded the corner into the waiting room.
It was Sally. And in tears. Maureen stretched out a tentative arm. Sally collapsed against her and sobbed. Maureen held her, then hugged her and stroked her hair, as she would have done Hannah.
"Do you want to come and have a coffee with me, Sally? I'm sure Pat will look after my two for a bit longer." She crossed her fingers as she spoke; she knew that Pat normally went to Pilates on a Thursday, and was always rushing to feed the family before she left. Sally lifted a woebegone face to her.
"Can I really? Oh, thank you, Mo."
While Sally drove zigzag up the road, Maureen rang Pat. "I'm so sorry, Pat, but something's come up. Could you be an angel, and look after my two for another hour, please?" There was a brief silence, and then a reply. Maureen listened carefully. "Yes. Yes, Pat, I'll take Simon to football on Saturday at nine o'clock, and Ellen to ballet at eleven. I really appreciate that you're putting yourself out for me. Thank you so much." As she ended the call, she puffed out her cheeks with embarrassment. Still, at least now she could give Sally the attention she needed.
When they were home, she sat Sally down in the comfy armchair, gave her a box of tissues, turned on the electric fire and made them each a coffee. Sally had wiped her eyes; she tried to look her usual bright self.
"I'm sorry, Mo, to impose on you like this."
Maureen gave Sally a hug. "It's no trouble," she said.
"It was just such a shock, what the doctor said. And I don't know what I'm going to do. What's Peter going to say?"
"Surely he'll support you, won't he? We all will!"
"It's just what he said last week, Mo. He said, 'I don't know what I'd do if you became pregnant. Leave you, I expect!' He pretended he was joking, but I just don't know. And anyway, I'm not sure I want to have a baby. I don't feel grown-up enough."
"You're going to have a baby, Sal?"
Sally glanced up quickly. "Yes. Yes, I am. Didn't I say?"
Maureen shook her head.
"Sally, of course you're grown-up enough! You're much more organised than me!"
Sally huddled into the armchair, as though cold.
"How do you feel about having a child, Sal, I mean if it was just your choice? You know, they're quite fun to have around. And I reckon Peter would be a jolly good dad."
Sally looked thoughtful. "A bit of me feels really excited at the thought. But I'm so worried about Peter. You're right, though, he'd be a brilliant dad. He'd be down on the floor playing with them straightaway!"
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you another casualty of the coil? I've heard that the health centre has had more than one person unexpectedly pregnant."
"I didn't know that. Gosh! No, I'm on the pill. But you remember Pete and I had a weekend in Cardiff a couple of months ago? Well, I forgot to take them with me, and I thought, 'Well, missing one won't matter…' So it's my own fault I suppose."
"You know what I think, Sal? I think you should tell Peter tonight. But tell him it's good news, and remind him of all the things you'll enjoy together as a family."
Sally sat up straighter. "I think I probably shall. You know, Mo, I've sometimes envied you, with your two lovely kids. You always look happy together. Even this morning, when you were late and walking to school in the rain you were cheerfully pointing something out to Hannah, and Josh was skipping along."
Maureen smiled.
"Actually, Sally, I'm in the same boat as you. Doctor Thomson confirmed that I'm expecting just before I bumped into you."
"Wow! Number three. Are you pleased? No, don't answer that – I can see! You look delighted!"
"Nigel doesn't know yet. I shall tell him tonight. I bought a bottle of wine on Saturday as my secret weapon!"
"Good idea. I might try that with Peter."
There was a ring at the front door. Maureen went to answer it. Sally, in the lounge, heard the clatter as Josh burst in and grabbed his plane from the hall table, heard Hannah's voice lifted up yelling "Mummy, we had fish fingers and chips for tea. Special treat!"
She smiled.
December 1, 2016 January 22, 2017 Humour, Short Stories, Whimsy 4 Comments Body languageironynemesisselling
Not even a fleeting micro-expression betrayed Bella's irritation at Mark's clumsy attempts to strengthen his sales pitch by his body language. As she responded to him, she was by turns animated, thoughtful, diffident, all without thinking as she observed and assessed his performance.
"My goodness you're bad, Mark," was all she said when he finished.
He blushed, the carmine flush an ugly contrast to his ginger hair. Bella read anger as well as humiliation in his eyes. The professional appraisal conveyed by her expression was a perfect mask for the secret pleasure of seeing him squirm, powerless despite his fury.
Bella looked down at the sheet in front of her and made a note.
"Hand your badge in at reception as you leave, please."
She continued to write. There was a pause, and then she heard his chair scrape over the carpet as he pushed it back and stood up. She heard him hesitate, clear his throat, felt him change his mind, turn and trudge out of the room.
"Another loser, eh?" Ben stuck his head round the door.
Bella looked up, a little smile on her lips.
"Better for them to know sooner rather than later," she observed. Ben was one of her successes. She'd spotted him three years earlier, nurtured him, showed him how to exploit his talent. It hadn't been long before he was the company's best salesman, topping the rankings for nine consecutive months.
Automatically she mirrored his gestures, not copying but echoing, so subtly that he was conscious only of her interest, concern and admiration. He preened himself.
"I've a report to finish, then how about a drink?"
"The Hopbinders in half an hour?"
"Sounds good."
Bella arrived at the pub a few minutes late. There was no sign of Ben, and the bar was almost empty. Was Ben becoming complacent, perhaps? That thought was so unpleasant that she immediately substituted the more palatable explanation that Ben had received an urgent phone call from their transatlantic partners. Still, she would punish him anyway, just to make sure that he knew that he mustn't take her for granted. She swung her feet irritably while sipping a tonic water. Under the circumstances there was no risk in revealing her true feelings.
Bella never watched the entrance when she was waiting for someone. Let them seek me out, she reasoned, and they will value me more. As a consequence, the first she knew of the new arrival was the sound of a handbag being placed on the bar.
"Assertive. Proprietorial almost," Bella summarised to herself.
The voice ordering a drink was musical, clear and pleasant to hear. Bella admired the control. There were subtle undercurrents of persuasion and dominance, so discreet that the unwary listener would hear only a candid warmth. The voice sounded somehow familiar; but all great voices have similarities, reasoned Bella.
Where on earth was Ben? Could he have had an accident? The thought prompted a spasm of aggravation. It would be bloody irritating if he'd laid himself up at this crucial moment. The company needed his skills for the North American deal.
The door swung open cheerily. Bella knew without needing to look that Ben had entered.
"Hi, Bella!"
Bella stayed still and silent, waiting for him to join her. He didn't. What was he playing at?
"Great dress! Who are we meeting?"
"What the hell's going on?" thought Bella. "I'm in my suit, just as I was when he last saw me. And why is he standing at the bar, rather than joining me?"
She rose, and without glancing towards the bar walked towards the ladies' toilet. She was damned if she would do more than that to attract his attention. Anyway, he was probably already past his peak as a salesman – and as a sexual partner.
As she pushed at the door, she heard a woman's laugh. It was warm, indulgent, calculated to engulf the male ego with a numbing sweetness. Despite herself, Bella turned.
Ben stood at the bar, grinning broadly at a blonde woman in her early thirties. Her hair was shingled, accentuating the fine bone structure of her face. Her lips were exquisite, seeming to shimmer between bee-sting fullness and the merriness of a schoolgirl. Her dress was indeed great, simple but masterful. For all her money, Bella had rarely indulged herself with such an extravagant piece of couture.
Bella's hand stole to her mouth. It was uncanny. The woman looked exactly like her.
But Bella's complexion, though still excellent, lacked the freshness of the stranger's. Her fine bone structure was becoming full of character. Not all the hairdresser's art could quite capture the vibrant sheen of the stranger's blonde hair. And how long was it since Bella had laughed with anything other than contempt?
Ben looked across at her.
"My God," he said.
November 27, 2016 Adventure, Humour, Short Stories Leave a comment HumourStory
A Good Day's Work
Just the contents of my tool-bag could earn me a prison sentence. 'Going equipped' the police call it – and what an apt description it is. I'm equipped to force windows, pick locks, and snip wires. I even have a little electro-magnetic gizmo to neutralize some of the latest digital alarms. Not that I expect to need that this afternoon.
This is my favourite sort of property, a big, detached house at the end of the village, high hedge surrounding the garden and no alarm system. Both adults work and the kids are at school. Easy. Virtually risk-free.
I reverse my battered white van with the recycled number plates through the gate and park just inside. Nobody from the street can see past the van; it's as good as being invisible.
Just in case, I ring the doorbell. I'm dressed as a workman, white overalls, white gloves, even a fake identity badge. No answer. Let's get cracking then. I score along the edges of the glass pane nearest the lock, cover the glass with sticky paper and give it a sharp knock. It falls out, sweet as a nut, and leaves no jagged edges on which I could cut myself. I put my hand through, turn the handle of the Yale and the door swings open. I don't know – some people just invite crime; no deadlock, no security bolt, nothing.
I'm not malicious in the way that I search a property, but I am thorough. Drawers out and upturned and not just to inspect the contents quickly – you'd be amazed at what people tape underneath drawers. Most of what I find is in desks and dressing tables, but every so often there's a waterproof package in the cistern or a neat little envelope of cash in the drawer under the bed. I don't bother to lift creaky floorboards; if you go to that much trouble you can keep your money as far as I'm concerned. Cash, jewellery, cameras, watches – small, high value items, that's all I take
The last place that I look is always the kitchen. I check the biscuit tins and the tea caddy even though I've never found anything there. You can call it sentiment or superstition if you like, but my Gran in South Wales used to keep her savings in the caddy, and it would feel wrong, almost impolite, to leave without checking.
The kitchen here is at the back, and it's while I'm looking through the cupboards that I hear footsteps crunch across the gravel towards the front door. Crucial question number one; is it the family or neighbours? Family will come in, neighbours may not. Crucial question number two; can I get out of the back door, sprint to the van and get out of the drive without being seen clearly? I congratulate myself on my cautious habit of always parking the van facing outwards.
The footsteps have stopped. Whoever it is, they're examining the door, realising that a burglary has taken place and wondering whether the burglar is still inside. "Indeed I am, madam," I think to myself. The humour galvanises me, and I slide noiselessly across the kitchen towards the back door.
Hell! Two big bolts and a mortice lock. I strain up to the top bolt and try to slide it silently back. Silently! The only reason it makes no noise is because it doesn't move. I put my full force behind it, heedless of any disturbance. It won't budge, and I can't get any leverage because it's too high.
I hear somebody clear their throat. It is a young male cough, the sort that means "I'm scared stiff but I'm coming for you anyway". Hell!
I don't do violence, I do flight. As the footsteps stride up the hall to the kitchen, I'm on the work surface opening the catch of the window, pushing it and – it doesn't open. It's security bolted. I sprint for the door to the dining room, just as the kitchen door bursts open.
As I dodge through, I hear my pursuer's steps slither as he changes direction abruptly to follow me. I sidestep through into the lounge and head across the room towards the hallway, the front door and freedom. I get as far as the middle of the room when fourteen stone of muscle takes me round the legs and I crash down, luckily falling onto a heavily padded sofa rather than the highly polished wooden floor. Even so, the impact and the fact that I stunned myself on the arm of the sofa leaves me feeling groggy and in no condition to run. I give myself a few seconds breather.
A forceful arm grabs my shoulder, and a triumphant voice snarls, "Right, let's have a look at you then." There's no way I can resist and I'm turned over.
My captor's grin of satisfaction fades rapidly.
"Ruth?" he enquires hoarsely. Oh my God, he's a student on the same course as me. What are the odds against that?
"Alan! I didn't know you lived in this part of the country."
"What the hell are you doing in the house?"
"Burgling it, of course. You really ought to get your parents to upgrade their security. It was laughably easy to get in. Now, would you mind letting me sit up? This is hardly decorous. I won't try running away, I promise."
Alan moves away – a shame really, he's quite cosy close to, and he smells very nice. His eyes are warm and brown. I gingerly sit up and straighten my overalls and try to tidy my hair.
"Well, you've put me in a tricky position haven't you?" he grumbles.
"Oh, I don't know. You call the police, hand me over and receive the applause I would have thought. What's tricky about that?"
"You know perfectly well that I'm not going to do that, Ruth. How am I going to explain the busted glass in the door to my parents if I'm covering up for you?"
Alan's such a sweetie. Six foot one, broad, athletic and tender-hearted. Pity he's so stupid.
"Yellow pages. Glazier. They'll do an instant job probably. Listen, if you're letting me go, I'll pay for the glass to be replaced."
"Damn right you will. Hey, you didn't – well, pinch anything before I got here did you?"
I point to the rifled drawers of the desk.
"You'll have to give it back."
With a show of reluctance I open my bag and take out two cameras, an iPod, a handful of jewellery and a rather nice Rolex. A pity; it would have been a good haul, at least a couple of grand even from the villain with whom I deal.
"Right, go and put it back and tidy up, while I arrange for the door to be mended. Then, would you like a cup of tea?" Tender-hearted? Daft as a brush, more like.
I'm almost as quick and neat in putting things back as I am in searching them in the first place, and it's not long before I've finished. Alan solemnly hands me a cup of tea.
"Why do you do it, Ruth?" Now that the excitement of the chase is over he looks pained.
"I've got to pay my way through college somehow, Alan, and it beats hell out of bar work."
"Yeah, but there's student loans and things". He sounds peevish.
"Start my career with a great big debt of twenty grand? Do me a favour. I bet that's not how you're doing it!"
"No, you're right. My parents are being very generous. Are you really hard up, then?"
"Pretty short."
"Look, don't worry about the glass; I'll sort that." Taking candy from a kid.
"Alan, you're a real sweetie," I assure him earnestly, gazing into his eyes. I let my lips barely brush against his, feel the sparks fly, and pull away slowly, gently, with seeming reluctance.
"I must go now. Thank you. Thank you for being so understanding, Alan. See you next term!"
I leave him standing in a haze of endorphins, walk through the front door – still swinging open – and drive away.
I park the van in the yard – the scrapyard from which I recycle my number plates – and pull out the water-proof package. Nobody who hides things in a cistern is likely to report them missing…..
I open it neatly, and turn the contents over and over in my hands. A stack of fifty pound notes, no fewer than one hundred of them. Not such a bad day's work after all!
November 13, 2016 November 13, 2016 Humour, Uncategorized, Whimsy 17 Comments HumourWhimsy
The Wonky Wand
It's been a difficult week with Donald Trump becoming President-Elect of the USA. So here's a piece of total whimsy to lighten the mood!
The fairy's name was Gwendolen, and she was dumpy and pasty-faced. Her wings, although iridescent, were lop-sided and looked clumsy despite their delicacy. And, yes, she carried a wand; the star on the end not so much twinkling as flickering like a faulty fluorescent tube. I wanted to hug her, then brush her hair, straighten her wings and fix her wand; but as she was only eight inches tall and a supernatural being, I settled for smiling in a friendly fashion.
"Oh shit!" she said. "That just about wraps up the perfect day. Wrong time of the month, wand goes wonky, lost the rest of the troop and now, stone me, an adult human spots me. Shit. And bugger!" She glared at me. "You can see me, can't you?" she said. "If I'm hallucinating as well, I might as well top myself."
"Yes, I'm rather afraid I can. And I wish you hadn't said that about hallucinating, because I don't bel…."
"Stop!" Her exclamation was so unexpectedly loud that I jumped. "That Peter Pan stuff about a fairy dying every time someone says 'I don't believe in fairies' is bollocks, of course, but we don't like it. How would you like it if I said 'I don't believe in humans'?"
"You just did," I pointed out. "At least, you implied that I was a hallucination."
"Hmmph." She glowered morosely at me. "You've given me a right problem. Really I should cast a spell on you to make you forget me. Or turn you into a frog. Or something. But the wand's bust. It could turn you into a forget-me-not, or make you lost in a fog. Or nothing."
"Really? I mean, can you really turn people into frogs?"
"Well, we don't unless we have to, you know."
I wondered under what circumstances it could ever be imperative to turn someone into a frog, but the look on Gwendolen's face discouraged me from asking the question. For all I knew a fairy might consider mild curiosity by a mortal to be ample grounds for amphibian metamorphosis.
"I'm really glad to have seen you," I ventured. "I never saw fairies when I was a little girl."
"Well surprise, surprise! What sort of little girl sees fairies, do you suppose?"
"Some of my friends said they did."
"Some people will say anything. Look, are you going to keep me here all night?"
"As long as you're aware of me, I can't leave. Your attention keeps me here."
"So if I stop looking at you, you'll vanish?"
"Like a shot."
I looked her over carefully, the golden hair streaked and in rats' tails, the slight pot belly, the silky blue dress with a hem that had come down at one side. I wanted to remember her clearly; after all, this was a unique experience. Then I courteously turned my back.
I was just considering turning round again when I heard an embarrassed cough.
"And bugger?"
"Definitely 'And bugger'. I seem to be stuck."
"How d'you mean, stuck?"
She looked pityingly at me. "Have I vanished or am I still here? I am temporally and spatially stuck, and it doesn't appear to be your attention that's holding me here. I really can think of better places to be stuck than the bedroom of a cheap hotel."
"I'm staying here," I pointed out. "By the way, your wand seems to have died completely."
Gwendolen looked at the star. Even though it had guttered like a wind-blown candle, the glow had given it a crystalline beauty; with no light at all it looked like a particularly tawdry piece of plastic.
"Ah," she said.
"Might that have anything to do with your inability to leave?"
Gwendolen tightened her lips and remained silent.
"I'll take that as a yes, then. So how do you recharge a wand?"
Her eyes flicked right then left. "It's no good," she sighed. "If you were eight you might be able to help, but you're old."
"I'm forty two, you cheeky so-and-so. How old are you?"
"Oh, er, older than that."
"I was eight hundred and thirty last birthday. Look, what I need to recharge my wand is someone who wants something really badly, really single-mindedly. Human girls are especially good at that. We offer to grant a wish. They think 'Oh, I wish I had so-and-so!', there's a great surge of energy into the wand, and we use a little bit of that to grant the wish. The rest of the charge will last a month with careful use. If you humans understood properly how to harness the power of your dreams you'd be unstoppable. I don't suppose you know any eight year old girls locally, do you?"
"You didn't expect me to be able to see you, did you?"
"Could that mean that I might be able to wish hard enough?"
"They're different."
But I could see hesitation and a dawning hope on her face. She looked almost pretty as her frown receded. "We could try," she admitted.
"Do I have to tell you what I wish for?"
"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What small girl would do that? You oldies are so crass; you think too much."
I closed my eyes. I wished. I felt a surge of energy cascade through me, sparkling and crackling, tingling like intense pins and needles.
"Wow!" I exclaimed, and opened my eyes.
The room was empty. There may or may not have been just the faintest hint of fading sparkle by the television, and the memory of a sweet scent. I smiled, feeling more cheerful than I had for weeks. I strolled down to the bar and ordered a G and T.
"Hi! Are you Fiona? Fiona Last?"
He was tall, dark, well-dressed. His voice was resonant, melodious.
"I shall be working with you on your assignment. I'm Paul. I thought I'd drop by and introduce myself." His smile was warm and open.
Like an echo in my inner ear, I heard a fairy voice. "Not a very original wish, but good enough. Thanks – and good luck!"
November 6, 2016 November 8, 2016 Cats, Humour, Short Stories, Uncategorized Leave a comment CatsHumourStory
Sue loved her garden. She loved the muted purple and green of the lavender, and the sweet buzzing of the bees mingling with the chuckle of water falling gently into the small fishpond. She loved its air of peace and serenity, even here in the middle of the city. True, it was neither as neat nor as well-stocked as she would have liked, but she had done what she could in the time left after work and looking after two teenagers.
She sat near the pond, a tumbler of gin and tonic on the table beside her, her eyes closed to intensify the feeling of the sun on her face; it was warm for a September evening. Some time she would have to finish her presentation for tomorrow, but not yet. And she'd better make sure that Guy had finished his homework. Oh, and bother, Damien had football at school tomorrow and his kit was dirty; he'd left it at school, in the kitbag, in his locker all week, only bringing it home this afternoon. Her eyes opened, the sense of peace dispelled.
Thea, the tabby cat, sat on the edge of the pond gazing into the water at the koi. She looked up and blinked at Sue, uncurled herself in a leisurely fashion, and strolled over. She stopped just beyond Sue's reach and looked up expectantly. Sue patted her lap, and made encouraging noises.
"Come on then, Thea! Up you come!"
Thea stayed put, and raised a paw in the gesture that meant "Please stroke me." Sue took a swallow of gin and tonic, and smiled. The ice-cubes tinkled in the tumbler, the lemon rubbed against her nose as she drank, and her hand was wet with the condensation on the glass.
Thea closed her eyes twice, slowly, and walked away. She pushed past the lavender, pausing to pat at a furry, tan bumblebee, and then leapt up the brick wall to perch on the top.
"Not bad for an oldie," commented Sue.
Thea ignored her, sniffing carefully at her perch. Sue wondered whether a stranger cat had been into their garden. Thea waggled her haunches and sprang into the adjacent garden. Sue closed her eyes again. There'd been caterwauling last night, and Thea had raced out through the cat-flap. She'd been dishevelled when she came back in at about 11 o'clock; she'd seemed smug. You couldn't help wondering what she'd been doing.
Sue drank the last mouthful of gin and tonic without opening her eyes, and imagined herself a cat. She crept through the bushes, staying out of the moonlight. The feeling of the shrubs against her fur helped her to know where she was. She could smell the warmth of a small mammal, and held herself completely motionless while she listened for the rustling that would tell her where it was. She was hungry, she wanted to tear through thick skin into the tender meat below, to feel the juices run down her chin.
And then she was distracted by a still more enticing scent, the musk of a tomcat. Her tail became erect with anticipation, with pride…
"Darling? Dinner's ready. Are you cold? Would you like a cardigan?"
Sue opened her eyes. There was Clive, looking unnecessarily concerned. She smiled at him, took his hand and pulled him towards her, kissed him hard on the lips.
"I'm fine, just fine. Let's go eat!"


Doga-TV > Sightseeing > Shinjuku Kabukicho's Samurai Museum: Dress-up and Souvenirs!
Shinjuku Kabukicho's Samurai Museum: Dress-up and Souvenirs!
Published on 06.07.2016 The beauty of Samuari spirit prevails beyond Japanese swords and their costumes. Samurai- centred society in Japan emerged after the battles of Genjin and Heishi in the end of Heina era. During the 700 years of Samuari rule, Japan confronted Mongolian invasion, Spanish Armada and the Portugal led age of discovery making Portuguese and Spanish threat to East Asian Countries. We introduce those brave Samurai warriors and their Spirit to Japanese and all the people visiting Japan from all over.
The museum has the ground level with the gift shop, the reception desk and an array of Yoroi sets of armor, mostly from Muromachi (1336-1573) and Edo (1600-1868) arranged beautifully. The first floor consist of six smaller areas specializing in Kamakura period with swords and bladed weapons, Kabuto helmets, yoroi armor, matchlock guns and the passage to the modern era. The use of tatami mats, paper screens, atmospheric lighting music and other exhibit has enable the creator to make rooms Japanese as much as possible.
Samurai with over 800 years of history under different political, social and martial condition went to war with bow in hand having not much in common with those thousands of peasants-reluctantly-turned soldier of 16th century who owned just helmet and a spear of the Edo period as depicted in Kurosawa's films who hadn't seen battle action for more than decades. Samurai Museum has put many efforts in clearing prevailing basic misconceptions. The Samurai Warriors were disciplined warriors of pre-modern Japan renowned for their prolific fighting style who are still revered even today. Let's check out Samurai Museum for a lively experience of Samurai!
Keywords relating to Shinjuku Kabukicho's Samurai Museum: Dress-up and Souvenirs!


Newly renovated, the restaurant has undergone some major changes. Jaques Gantie' the author of the only restaurant guide for the areas restaurants highly recommends Aphrodite.
Changes with the season using fresh market ingredients. Excellent wine selections by the glass.


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Q: Problem opening camera in onTopResumedActivityChanged I have an Android app that uses the Camera. Until now, I was opening the camera in my activity's onResume callback, and releasing it in onPause. This worked fine before Android 10.
Starting from Android 10, there may be more than one activity in RESUMED state so instead I am trying to open/release the camera in the new onTopResumedActivityChanged callback. The documentation says:

This callback should be used instead of onResume() as an indication that the activity can try to open exclusive-access devices like camera.

I am testing this on a split-screen setup, with another camera app running. Sometimes when I tap my app it will successfully open the camera; sometimes it will fail with a runtime exception as follows:
W/CameraBase: An error occurred while connecting to camera 0: Status(-8, EX_SERVICE_SPECIFIC): '7: connectHelper:1500: Higher-priority client using camera, ID "0" currently unavailable'
E/CameraPreview: Cannot open camera
    java.lang.RuntimeException: Fail to connect to camera service
        at android.hardware.Camera.<init>(Camera.java:630)
        at android.hardware.Camera.open(Camera.java:455)
        [...]

Why is this happening? Theoretically if onTopResumedActivityChanged is called with isTopResumedActivity set to true, my activity is already the top resumed activity, and should be the highest priority client for the camera.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


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CCU HomeAcademicsFaculty ProfilesHumanitiesOffice of the Dean
Joe Oestreich
Associate Dean and Professor of English
Contact Joe Oestreich
843-349-2433 joeo@coastal.edu
Edwards 223
The important thing in writing is the capacity to astonish. Not shock—shock is a worn-out word—but astonish." – Terry Southern
Joe Oestreich is a Professor in the Department of English, where he serves as Associate Dean. He earned his BA and MFA from the Ohio State University. Professor Oestreich is the author of four books of creative nonfiction: Waiting to Derail (co-written with Thomas O'Keefe, 2018), Partisans (2017), Lines of Scrimmage (co-written with Scott Pleasant, 2015), and Hitless Wonder (2012). His work has appeared in Esquire, Creative Nonfiction, River Teeth, Fourth Genre, The Normal School, and many other magazines and journals.
MFA in Creative Writing, The Ohio State University (2007)
Joe is the bass player and singer in the Columbus, Ohio-based band Watershed.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Greek FM Venizelos to visit Turkey
Greek Foreign Minister Evangelos Venizelos will visit Turkey on July 19.
Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Foreign Affairs of Greece Evangelos Venizelos will pay his first visit to Turkey on 19 July 2013.
According to the statement released by Turkish Foreign Ministry, Venizelos will carry out a one-day visit to Ankara on Friday, 19 July 2013, at the invitation of his Turkish counterpart Ahmet Davutoglu.
The two leaders will exchange views on Turkish-Greek relations, regional and international issues, said the statement.
Greek government's small partner socialist PASOK party's leader Venizelos was named as foreign minister on 24 June 2013 as the Prime Minister Antonis Samaras reshuffled his government.


Meet the dashing young men of the Yarmouth-Dennis Red Sox Monday, June 19th at the Yarmouth Senior Center from 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
Bring your family, friends and neighbors of all ages, along with a baseball and your appetite. Have a player autograph your baseball. Get a photo with the championship trophy. Enjoy one complimentary hot dog and purchase more goodies from a great menu of tasty items.
Be sure to congratulate Coat Scott Pickler on his twenty-year anniversary.
The Yarmouth Senior Center is at 528 Forest Road in West Yarmouth.
Please RSVP today by calling 508-934-7606 to save a seat.


These round LED lights are 4.5 inches round with 18 watts of LED power. Sporting 6 - 3 watt high intensity LED lights give these round led lights the right mix for your LED needs. Lifetime LED lights offers a great selection of Round LED lights and you can see them all by clicking here. No matter what type of LED lighting you're looking for Lifetime LED lights has the right light, the right price and the best warranty in the industry with our lifetime warranty on all our LED lights.
We will ship your new light quickly or you can find a dealer near you for same day pick up.


This is a 15th century building with claims to have been a manor house at one time although the bit that sticks out from the side towards the car park looks a lot more recent. The oldest building in Old Oxted village, the pub looks the part with the first floor jettied out over the street below and the small leaded windows.. Internally it is a rambling place with numerous areas, nooks and crannies. A feel of history with the very low black and white beamed ceiling and occasional timber posts however to a degree spoiled by the usual Spirit Group faux chalk boards everywhere and a couple of fruit and other gaming machines. The floor is tiled around the entrance and immediate bar area, carpeted with different patterned carpets elsewhere. Traditional seating, I didn't see any high tables or sofas. Various pots, old jugs, brass and copper things hang from beams, plus the usual routine old photos of the local area.
A pretty standard ale selection of Adnams Bitter, London Pride or GK IPA. I opted for the Adnams but it had to go back, having a funny taste despite being clear and lively. I suspected line cleaner but the Rodney Trotter lookalike barman was a bit sniffy, but this was soon overcome with a bit of persistence. The replacement Pride was ok if a bit cold.
The bar has signs proclaiming that they are happy to top up pints. Surely it is better to train the staff to fill the glasses properly in the first place?


This holiday home is located in the small mountain village called Staré Hamry on the Beskids Mountains, at 520 metres above sea level. The home is near the Moravian-Slovakian border. Enjoy your holiday in a beautiful natural region with deep forests and fresh air. The home is ideal for a summer as well as a winter holiday. Bílá Ski Area is just 4 km away. Take a trip to the Lysá Hora Mountains, 1323 metres high and about 15 km away from this holiday home. There is a water park in Frenštát pod Radhoštěm and an open air museum in Rožnov pod Radhoštěm.


The Master of Science in Industrial Engineering (MSIE) is intended for students who are interested in pursuing an advanced, research-oriented degree for a career in industry, government, or the engineering sciences or in preparation for a Ph.D. The Master of Science program is intended for full-time, on-campus students. If you are a working professional or interested in attending graduate school part-time, you should apply to ISE's Master of Engineering program instead.
Graduate students discuss their research and why they chose the UW.


Abbot and miracle worker. He was born Adjutor at Agde, France, and trained by St. Severus. He became a monk in St. Severus' abbey and left for two years to avoid the acclaim given to him. In time, Maxentius entered the monastery at Poitou, now called Saint-Maixent, where he took the name Maxentius. He was a counselor to King Clovis I and he was elected abbot about 500 . When marauding soldiers threatened the abbey, Maxentius miraculously saved the site. In his later years, he lived as a hermit. Maxentius is called Maixent in some lists.


Combine oil, vinegar, sugar, salt, pepper, and toasted almonds together in a jar. Shake well and refrigerate for 2 hours or over night prior to serving.
Pour dressing over lettuce leave, toss well, add parsley, onion and oranges.


Interior or exterior elevators, escalators or ramps.
In order that any person impaired locomotion or reduced mobility can go out without problems.
Interior or exterior elevators, escalators or ramps. In order that any person impaired locomotion or reduced mobility can go out without problems.
Integrated systems that provide renewable electricity to light.


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Comic Update: BREAKING YOUR FACE
To be quite honest, I only have second hand accounts about the English-language reception to K-ON! because I don't actually read shitty anime blogs or 4chan. That said, I do get reports from people who do subject themselves to such things, and the impression I get is that people are rather split, and there is a large contingent of people who just don't like it.
Those people are clearly faggots.
However, being in Japan you learn a few things. One is that while KyoAni is on some level universally worshiped, there are camps of people who won't indulge. Rets–being an avid believer in the Japanese always agreeing with him–is too shocked to believe that they would do the opposite, and thusly he reacts in a defensive manner. As for the art style, I'm kind of suffering from a hangover as a result of making a ton of Zetsubou Sensei fanart, so please forgive me. I was actually going to force Dutch angles on some of the panels, but I forgot. It's probably for the better.
One thing I noticed when making this comic is that colour selection is really what makes this process so long. In this comic I kept to a simple grey scale and red, which made things rather easy as far as colouring went. This comic only took me about four hours. Comics with the normal amount of colour usually take twice as long. I need to find a way to speed up colour selection and placement.
In some other site news, I've finally revised the Introduction to seem less wimpy and more pretentious. Now all I need to do is revamp the profile page, the character page and update the reference guide. All in good time, I suppose.
That's all for this time. I'm really going to make an attempt to update twice a week in an attempt to speed up my production time. I probably won't pull it off, but I can try. I want to make as many Japan-focused comics as possible. As a result though, these rants will probably become more comic focused than anime focued. For anime focused rantings, you're better off reading the blog. Later.
Magusman
Your introduction page needs more grainy black and picture(s) of you holding a cigarette.
Also, you must start doing con reports again once you hit up Comiket.
wohdin
I digress, for I both am a faggot and adore K-on.
digitalboy
for the most part, the American fandom is the exact same as the Japanese one – legions of KyoAni worshippers and the occassoinal hater, just the haters are really loud and obnoxious in America.
Your Zetsubou sensei style either works or doesn't from panel to panel. Stop trying to get that eyeball effect (I think is what it's supposed to be) it's sucked both times.
Karisu
Not sure what internet circles you hang around in, but I have no idea where they get the idea that there's a lot of negativity towards K-ON!. From what I've seen it's got almost insane amounts of universal love. Hell, you can't go to a blog or site without someone screaming how much that love Mio.
I'd say they're might be too much love if anything. Then again, the show is awesome, so there can never be too much love.
So, in the end your comic makes no sense to me. I think your friends are messing with you or just happen to be on the only part of the net that doesn't like K-ON!
roast-beefy
K-On! is decent, but it isn't great. Mio is overplayed and somewhat boring. I'm just watching for that smile Yui makes. You know the one.
>>Karisu
When it first aired it seemed rather polarizing. It's settled down by down but there are still some people who don't really get it. But he likes Hatsukoi Limited honestly so there's no real hope for him.
Though there is a real chance that I may indeed be living in Pretend World and everyone really does love K-ON!, but between the initial fake subs an IMs from countless friends going "K-ON! HAS BROKEN THE INTERNET" I think this impression is somewhat warranted, if not a couple of weeks out of date.
>>digitalboy
you have never ever spoken with a japanese person in your life you live in virginia stop commenting on my blog
>>Those people are clearly faggots.
Or…ya know, they're not into 4 year olds, then again black haired chick looks nice.
Zelkiiro
K-On! suffers the same downfall that plagued Lucky Star: It's boring. ~_~
I like the last two panels here. I like them very much.
moonspeaker
Yeah, yeah, I'm part of the Mio fan legions I'll admit, she's almost tipped me into choosing to get a pair of AKG-K701's instead of Alessandro MS2's… (I've been looking for new headphones).
I'd say K-On! is probably the only show I really look forward to every week, though Higashi no Eden's been very entertaining, and Valkyria Chronicles has been interesting to compare to the game.
While we're on the topic of K-On, what'd you think of the performance in episode 6 wah?
Personally I thought it was a bit too…(MTV-ish?) for me, and I think I would've liked it better if they just showed the band playing on stage…
I think being part of the Mio fan legions is better than being, say, part of Hinagiku's legions of mindless drones. My loyalty lies with Yui and Mugi, though.
I liked how the handled the performance. It would have been cool to see them actually playing, but this approach was fine.
Lehq
ah well, it's KyoAni after all…
but really, what's with anime these days?
I dunno, you tell me what's with the anime these days. It seems fine to me!
Every minute KyoAni spends making a 4koma into a "series" is another minute they are not working on another Full Metal Panic! Tessa is crying.
I just want to see KyoAni return to the stuff that really makes them shine. Doing the anime versions of Key VN's!
I'm expecting a Little Busters announcement at the end of K-On!
I think Key adaptations make KyoAni the most boring studio ever.
Ok, Air and Kanon were swell but Clannad was neither here nor there.
I really don't understand the Hinagiku fanbase…they're just…..strange.
Yui bugs me sometimes, but usually she's ok. Mugi though, it's like they combined Hiyori and Miyuki from Lucky Star and then made her really cool and funny. I've normally never liked the BL-enthusiast characters, but I rather like Mugi.
I can't stand most of KyoAni's stuff, it's just too moemoe with little plot for my likes.
I agree they make awesome Key adaptions though. I cried many bitch tears to Clannad.
Zetsubou
K-On is pretty darn bad. I can't imagine what people see in these shows. No content, no exciting storyline, only lame moe-ness. If you're horny, get laid or start wankin'. Don't watch crap like that.


Wrapped in love, grace stands as the most powerful condition for happiness and life. It breeds hope and second chances. Grace lives through Jesus Christ as our connection to God and eternal life.
Just as grace connects us to God, it connects us to other people. Think of the varying forms of the word—gracious, graciousness, graciously. Grace is the softness of life, the refreshing rain that washes and cleanses. It buffs the rough edges and charms the wild. There is no aspect of life that cannot be touched and bettered by grace.
Grace grants pardon, approval, and favor.
Grace gives strength to take the next step, carry the burden, love one more time.
Grace stands in the face of hatred and hurt, and grace survives.
Grace is a gift that has its beginning and ending in God. We cannot earn it, so God offers it freely through His Son.
Only through Him can we offer this gift to others.
Grace living is a journey of grace.


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— оригинальный проект от студии AXsiZ и Studio Gokumi.Структура сюжета планировалась такой же как в Amagami SS — история разбивается на арки по четыре эпизода, каждая из которых посвящена какой-то одной героине.

Сюжет
Сёити Камита является студентом второго курса средней школы, который волнуется по поводу университетских экзаменов и своего будущего. В этот период своей жизни он вступает в контакт с различными девушками.

Главные герои
 — Главный герой этой истории. Студент старшей школы, который не может оставить людей в беде.
 Сэйю: Тамару Ацуси

 — Одна из героинь, а  также идол класса 2-B в Кибито старшей школы. В прошлом году она заняла второе место в конкурсе "Мисс Санта". Она всегда веселая и любит поесть, иногда упрямая.
 Сэйю: Сакура Аянэ

 —
 Сэйю: Кимура Дзюри

 — Студентка 3-А класса, старшей школы в Кибито. Она является специалистом по видеоиграм. Она считает, что ей очень трудно общаться с теми, кто не разделяет её хобби.
 Сэйю: Симодзи Сино

Второстепенные персонажи

 —
 Сэйю: Куроки Хонока

 —
 Сэйю: Идзава Сиори

 —
 Сэйю: Миками Сиори

 — Старшая сестра главного героя, которая в прошлом году была Мисс Сантой. Она находится в классе 3-А старшей школы Кибито.

 Сэйю: Нумакура Манами

 — Друг детства Сёити, который был немного забавным в начальной школе. Благодаря влиянию его старшей сестры, он в конце концов стал более спокойной личностью.
 Сэйю: Асари Рёта

 — Классный руководитель в 2-B, в старшей школе Кибито.
 Сэйю: Тамура Юкари

 — Друг Сёйти и Икуо, который постоянно с ними общается. Он является популярным студентом у девочек в старшей школе в Кибито и при этом имеет глубокий интерес к животным.
 Сэйю: Эгути Такуя

 — Единственная подруга Хикари.
 Сэйю: Фудзита Саки

 — Одна из подруг Хикари, которая участвует в плавательном клубе школы.
 Сэйю: Фудзии Юкиё

 —
 Сэйю: Нагацума Дзюри

 — Одноклассник Хикари Тцунеки в классе "Сохраните наши счета" во время школьного летнего семинара.
 Сэйю: Май Кадоваки

 — Учитель, который работает в школе летнего семинара. Он носит очки и бамбуковую палку, чтобы показаться строгим среди студентов.
 Сэйю: Кентаро Тоне

Медиа

Аниме
Премьера аниме-адаптации состоялась 5 января 2017 года. Режиссёром аниме выступил Кобояси Томоки, сценарий к аниме написал Такаяма Кисай, а за дизайн персонажей отвечает Хосода Наото. Премьера Аниме-адаптации состоялась 5 января 2017 года. Сериал использует свободный формат, в котором каждая главная арка является самостоятельной. Основные арки сосредоточены на трех персонажах: Хикари, Тору и Киоко. Тем не менее, следует также отметить, что существуют планы по другим аркам, связанных с Миу, Макото и Луизой.

Саундтрек

Музыкальное сопровождение для данного аниме написал композитор: Нобусава Нобуаки

 Открывающая композиция
"Kimi no Hana" (キミの花; Your Flower) - Исполняют Оку Ханако и Исида Хиро

 Закрывающая композиция
"Shunkan Happening" (瞬間; Moment Happening) - Исполняют Аянэ Сакура и Оку Ханако

Ссылки
 Официальный сайт

Манга 2017 года
Аниме 2017 года
Studio Gokumi

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Tom Abrehamson has taught more than 5,000 yoga classes in Silicon Valley and is Yoga Alliance certified as an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher. He has mentored over a dozen apprentice teachers.
Tom has taught at various Silicon Valley corporations and has taught many Silicon Valley CEO's and/or their significant others, groups of Stanford professors, and yoga students from every inhabited continent, including dozens of Indians or Indian-Americans resident in Silicon Valley.
He currently teaches at two of the top yoga studios in the Valley: Yoga of Los Altos and Yoga is Youthfulness in Mountain View, gives private lessons and workshops, and trains teachers how to teach Pranayama.
Tom shares with his students his experiential knowledge of Asana, Pranayama, Mantra, Mudra, Kriya, Yoga Nidra, Meditation and Subtle Energy Work.
Tom's asana and pranayama work have been the most powerful tools I have encountered for deep and sustainable spiritual growth. The effects of what he teaches creep up on you - and before you know it, your life just flows with ease.
Tom's lessons are mind-bogglingly wonderful - life-changing stuff - and heartily recommended to anyone in the South Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area.
I was never able to meditate and enjoy the outcome, until I started to take Tom's classes.
I am amazed at Tom's extensive knowledge of yoga asanas and pranayam, both in terms of technique and in terms of the purpose and benefits.
Call me the typical Type-A Silicon Valley multitasking working mom. Breathing? Yeah, not so much for me. Can't even sit still for 5 minutes. That is until I met Tom. Then everything changed. I was amazed that I could be 'present' and mindful, and lose track of time. Tom "keeps it real" without asking us to mentally or spiritually go beyond our comfort zone. He leads you without directing you.
This is what I went to India for but didn't find!
Best Damn Yoga Instructor I Have Ever Had!
R.H., after taking his first yoga class ever.


text:
Lyric Opera Theatre has something for first-time opera-goers with 'The Bartered Bride'
Lyric Opera Theatre's first performance of 'The Bartered Bride' will be held Wednesday, Sept. 27
Photo by Rachel Traynor | The State Press The cast of "The Bartered Bride" perform their closing number, "A Good Cause is Won, and Faithful Love has Triumphed" at their dress rehearsal at Evelyn Smith Music Theatre in Tempe, Arizona on Monday, Sept. 25, 2017.
By Ian Haugen | 09/26/2017 8:47pm
The School of Music's Lyric Opera Theatre is putting on a production of Bedřich Smetana's "The Bartered Bride" on Sept. 27, 28, 30 and on Oct. 1.
Dale Dreyfoos, professor of opera and music theater and the stage director for the show, said the opera has a Shakespearean story following the forbidden love of the main character, Marie.
"It's basically about a young couple in love, but the girl's parents want her to marry somebody else," Dreyfoos said. "It's a love triangle but nobody actually knows who is who, but the audience figures it out."
Dreyfoos used set pieces reminiscent of 19th century Eastern Europe to make the opera come alive.
"The story takes place in 1860 to 1870 Bohemia, which is the present day Czech Republic," Dreyfoos said.
Aaron Jones, a masters student in opera performance and the actor playing Vasek — the comic relief of the story — stutters and stumbles about the stage. He said that this role hasn't been an easy task for him.
"This has been one of the more difficult operas to prepare just because my character has a stutter," Jones said. "I had to learn the rhythms and pitches for each stutter."
Jones said the play features light-hearted themes that he believes the audience will enjoy.
"It's like a big huge romantic comedy," he said. "There are so many sub-plots and lovable characters that I feel people will love."
Kate Clemons, also an opera performance masters student, plays Marie, whose parents want her to marry a man she does not love. Clemons said opera contains all the performance elements she enjoys.
"I love history, I love language, and visual arts at well," she said. "And to me opera is culmination of all those things, so who would not love it."
Clemons said she feels a duty as an artist to portray the story to the best of her ability, which she said adds to her love for the craft.
"I always tell people that I'm just a vessel for music," said Clemons. "It's truly ... that this composer took the time to write this, so whatever their message is I have to honor it."
Because of play's liveliness, Clemons believes this production has something for everyone to enjoy.
"If you have never seen an opera this is a great gateway opera because it's in English, it's funny," she said, "but there are very serious, sweet moments too."
You can purchase tickets to the opera here.
Reach the reporter at ihaugen@asu.edu and follow @haugen_dazs on Twitter.
Silver screen by the tree: Deciding if eight films are truly 'Christmas movies'
By Brock Doemel | 12/17/2020 4:13pm
How the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series are different
By Ryan Knappenberger | 12/02/2020 1:10pm


Parent Partners Needed! :: Welcome to 2/3B!
Homepage > Parent Partners Needed!
The Parents & Reading Committee of HCS is in charge of Rockin' Reading Night and our new Family Reading Week. In an effort to cultivate our parent-school partnership, our teachers would like to invite interested parents to join our committee's efforts. The commitments range from being an active participant in committee meetings (usually held from 8:00-8:45 a.m. once-twice monthly) to serving as a volunteer for our events. If you are interested in finding out more, please contact Crystal Anderson.
Email: crystal.anderson@bps101.net or call 630.937.8200. We look forward to our partnership!


text:
Bioelectric Research
System Use
About Bioelectric Research Corporation (BRC)
BRC: Unlocking the potential of electromagnetic and photonic technology
Our mission is to provide novel, interdisciplinary approaches to treating medical conditions. Specifically, we strive to develop electrical waveforms that produce anti-microbial (electronic antibiotic), anti-inflammatory (electronic cortisone), and analgesic effects. By delivering these waveforms through automated, user-friendly devices, we seek to treat a multitude of medical ailments, including wounds and the pain from opiate withdrawal. We are also developing medical devices that utilize photonic technologies.
The ultimate purpose of our mission is to extend the quality and quantity of life. We are continually committed to providing a financially stable platform from which physicians can offer ethical and viable solutions in the global marketplace to significantly benefit patients worldwide.
Incorporated in Nevada, with extensive Research and Development and manufacturing facilities located in Pasadena, CA, BRC comprises an accomplished team of professionals with established expertise in academia, medicine, engineering, and technology.
Steven Kaye, MD
Cofounder and CEO of BRC, Dr. Kaye holds over 35 years experience in experimental electrotherapeutic methods, which began with research under electrophysiology pioneer Robert O. Becker, MD . His lifelong clinical research experience in electrotherapeutic methods has culminated in the successful launch of the ODIN 1®. Prior to his commitment and investment in BRC, Dr. Kaye owned and spearheaded a prolific medical practice with 12 locations across California. With more than 15 years of experience in managed care as CEO and cofounder of an Independent Physician Association, Dr. Kaye brings scientific context, practical insight, passionate drive, and depth of understanding as the leader of BRC.
Bryan Kaye, PhD
Cofounder and Senior Adviser of Research and Development at BRC, Dr. Kaye was instrumental in creating the requirements and specifications, software design, and hardware integration of the ODIN 1®. Prior to his investment in BRC, Dr. Kaye studied at UC Santa Barbara and was awarded a BS degree in Physics, where he played an integral role in developing a medical device that more accurately diagnoses osteoporosis. Dr. Kaye has a PhD in Applied Physics at Harvard University specializing in biophysics. He was also a Post Doctorate fellow at Harvard researching cell division related spindle polymerization initiation. Among his many accomplishments and awards, Dr. Kaye is a Harvard University Pierce Fellow, Smith Fellow, and a National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellow.
David Yu
Operations Manger and Bioengineer at BRC, David handles the day to day business of the company, the technical writing and documentation as well as any technical support that is needed. David studied Biomedical Engineering at UC Irvine as well as Biotechnology for his masters at San Jose State University. He brings project management and leadership experience from his work in the theater industry.
Shepard Bentley, RAC
Chief Regulatory Officer, is an integral member of the BRC logistics and management team as well as the strategic planner for the international marketplace. A seasoned entrepreneur who has contributed to the success of numerous biomedical start-ups, Mr. Bentley draws on his 10 years of experience in developing and manufacturing electrotherapeutic devices in compliance with FDA standards and requirements.
John Biondo
Vice President of Engineering at BRC, has more than 30 years of experience in project management of electrical, mechanical, and software devices. He is the author of nine patents in biotechnology, visual display systems, and industrial automation, and has founded several technology-based companies. His patented electroporation system has been in use in biological research laboratories for transfection of bacterial and mammalian cells for over 18 years.
George D. O'Clock, PhD
Lead biomedical scientific advisor at BRC. He is Professor Emeritus of Electrical Engineering at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He holds masters degrees in electrical engineering, biomedical sciences, and business administration (MBA), and a PhD in electrical engineering. He is the author on over 65 publications, 6 patents, and wrote the textbook Electrotherapeutic Devices: Principles, Design and Applications. His biomedical research and development interests include models and simulation tools for cell and tissue engineering, design of electrotherapeutic devices, and induced cell dedifferentiation.
This device is a prescription device and may only be used under the order of a licensed provider.
Patients may experience skin irritation beneath the electrodes applied to the skin. Patients should stop using the device and consult their physicians if they experience adverse reactions from the device.
Do not use this device on patients who have:
A cardiac or demand-type pacemaker, implanted defibrillator, or other implanted metallic electronic device, because this may cause electric shock, burns, electrical interference, or death
Known neoplasm
Device should not be applied over the carotid sinus nerves, particularly in patients with known sensitivity to the carotid sinus reflex.
For complete prescribing information, please see the user's manual.
info@bioelectricresearch.com


text:
Caltech Harasser Finds New Academic Home, in Finland
Colleen Flaherty
Christian Ott, a professor of theoretical astrophysics who resigned from the California Institute of Technology last year after he was found to have harassed two female graduate students, has a new academic home at the University of Turku in Finland. And many who have been following his case and the academic #metoo movement in general aren't happy about it.
Turku addressed the controversy in a statement last week, saying that it has "a policy of zero tolerance towards harassment and bullying." Turku considered Caltech's findings but nevertheless recruited Ott due to "strong evidence of his scientific merits, of which several statements were received," it said.
Ott will work as a senior researcher without teaching or supervising responsibilities on a two-year contract with a four-month trial period. Ott was suspended from Caltech before he resigned, after an investigation found that he'd become infatuated with a graduate student and then fired her for it. He confided in a second student about the situation. Scientists responded to Turku's news on Twitter, pointing to a disconnect between its stated no-tolerance policy and Ott's past. Others said that while Ott had been given a second chance, those whose careers he'd affected were not so lucky. Ott could not immediately be reached for comment.
Colleen Flaherty, Reporter, covers faculty issues for Inside Higher Ed. Prior to joining the publication in 2012, Colleen was military editor at the Killeen Daily Herald, outside Fort Hood, Texas. Before that, she covered government and land use issues for the Greenwich Time and Hersam Acorn Newspapers in her home state of Connecticut. After graduating from McGill University in Montreal in 2005 with a degree in English literature, Colleen taught English and English as a second language in public schools in the Bronx, N.Y. She earned her M.S.Ed. from City University of New York Lehman College in 2008 as part of the New York City Teaching Fellows program.
Why I hate the term "Latinx" (opinion)
The significant learning benefits of getting rid of grades (essay)
Advice for students so they don't sound silly in emails (essay)
The traditional campus job visit needs to be rethought (opinion)
Accreditors must do the job Congress assigned them (opinion)
Advice for designing adjunct professional development programs (opinion)


text:
Children participate in a Christmas procession in Tbilisi, Georgia. Orthodox believers observe Christmas according to the Julian—rather than Gregorian—calendar.
Photograph by David Mdzinarishvili, Reuters
Why some people celebrate Christmas in January
Thanks to a decision made more than 400 years ago, not all Christians observe the holiday on December 25.
ByErin Blakemore
Christmas is over, so why are 12 percent of the world's Christians waiting until January 7 to celebrate? Orthodox Christmas is celebrated by approximately 260 million people worldwide, both in majority-Orthodox countries in Eastern Europe, like Russia and Greece, and in communities in Ethiopia, Egypt, and elsewhere.
(How Christmas has evolved over the centuries.)
Marked by devout vigils and traditional feasts, the holiday traces its origins back to the centuries-old decision of Orthodox churches to split from the Catholic church and adhere to a calendar that differs from the one used by most of the world today. Here's what you need to know.
Christianity adopts a standardized calendar
Disagreements as to when to officially recognize the birth of Jesus Christ stretch back all the way to A.D. 325, when a group of Christian bishops convened the religion's first ecumenical conference—a gathering to rule on issues of religious doctrine.
One of the First Council of Nicaea's most important agenda items was to standardize the date of the church's most important holiday, Easter. To do so, they decided to base it on the Julian calendar, a solar calendar which Roman ruler Julius Caesar had adopted in 46 B.C. on the advice of Egyptian astronomer Sosigenes in an attempt to clean up Rome's own messy lunar calendar.
(The new year once started in March—and January didn't exist.)
But Sosigenes' calculations had an issue of their own: They overestimated the length of the solar year by about 11 minutes. As a result, the calendar and the solar year became increasingly out of sync as the centuries progressed.
Christianity's great calendar schism
By 1582, the dates of important Christian holidays had drifted so much that Pope Gregory XIII was concerned. He convened another group of astronomers and proposed a new calendar, known as the Gregorian calendar.
The new calendar solved a number of tricky issues that had accumulated over the years, and the majority of the Christian world adopted it.
But the Orthodox Church disagreed. During the Great Schism of 1054, it had split into its own arm of Christianity after centuries of mounting political and doctrinal difference. Orthodox Christians do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the church, reject the concept of purgatory, and disagree over the origin of the Holy Spirit, among other differences.
Following Pope Gregory's course correction would have meant accepting an occasional overlap between Passover and Easter—a move that went against holy texts of Orthodox Christianity. So the Orthodox Church rejected the Gregorian calendar and continued to rely on the Julian calendar.
It stayed that way for centuries, and the calendar drift continued. By 1923, there was a 13-day difference between the two calendars, putting Orthodox Christmas 13 days after December 25.
Resolving the Orthodox calendar crisis
That explains the existence of two Christmases—but how did Orthodox churches address their ongoing calendar crisis? In May 1923, a group of Orthodox leaders met to hash out the issue. Held in Constantinople, the Pan-Orthodox Congress brought together delegations from the churches of Constantinople, Cyprus, Greece, Romania, Russia, and Serbia.
Discussion was heated: Historian Aram Sarkisian writes that the Church of Russia had been pressured to adopt the Gregorian calendar by the Bolsheviks, who abandoned the Julian calendar shortly after the Russian Revolution began. Revising the calendar wasn't just a matter of religion: To churches whose existence was threatened under the rule of Communism, a calendar adjustment was a matter of survival.
(From tsar to U.S.S.R.: Learn more about Russia's chaotic year of revolution.)
At the conference, Serbian scientist Milutin Milanković proposed a solution: a new version of the Julian calendar that shares its dates with the Gregorian calendar, though it doesn't share every leap year. Known as the revised Julian calendar, it was adopted by several Orthodox churches, including the churches of Greece, Cyprus, and Romania. Those churches now celebrate Christmas on December 25.
But other Orthodox churches, like those of Russia and Egypt, refused. And still others, like Poland, adopted Milanković's calendar, then dropped it later. They celebrate Christmas on January 7—until 2100, that is, when it will move to January 8 as the calendar continues to drift.
Orthodox Christmas traditions
Today, Orthodox traditions differ depending on location, church branch, and local custom. But for many, Christmas is focused on devout religious celebrations. Traditionally, Orthodox Christians fast for up to 40 days leading up to Christmas, preparing for the birth of Christ by abstaining from meat, dairy, fish, wine, and olive oil. After a vigil on Christmas Eve, Christmas itself is celebrated as one of the Church's 12 Great Feasts, with churchgoing and celebration at home.
(How Christmas is celebrated around the world.)
Other traditions are as vibrant and varied as the places they originated. In Georgia, clergy and people in religious costumes parade through the streets, singing carols and walking toward the church. Called Alilo, the procession's name is derived from that of a song traditionally sung by children on Christmas Eve as they go from door to door, collecting money and small gifts. That custom exists in other places, too, like Romania and Greece.
Food is paramount for Orthodox Christmas celebrations, and those traditions also vary by region. In Russia, for example, a wheat and rice porridge dish called kutya is eaten on Christmas Eve, often from a communal bowl symbolizing unity. The food is sometimes thrown up to the ceiling; if it sticks, tradition goes, you'll have good luck. Egyptian Copts break their fast with a bread-rice-and-meat dish called fattah, and Ethiopian Orthodox Church members eat wat, a stew that often features chicken from a rooster that's divided into 12 parts, symbolizing the 12 apostles, along with 12 eggs.
Will calendar confusion eventually lead more Orthodox Christians to choose another date for the celebrations? Perhaps. But until then, Christmas cheer—and all that delicious food—will have to wait in January for many members of the Orthodox Church.
Editor's note: This story was originally published on December 26, 2019. It has been updated.
Brazil has the world's leading breast milk donation program—and experts say there's a lot we can learn to help women and infants everywhere.
Seasonal affective disorder can occur in both winter and summer. Here's why it happens, and how you might treat it.
Bug-eyed sculptures. Huge masks of hammered gold. These artifacts in China have long puzzled archaeologists—but may show us how to adapt to a changing world.
Six million Jews were murdered between 1933 and 1945. How Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party turned anti-Semitism into genocide.


①Put cream cheese & fresh milk into a double-boiler. Double boil till cream cheese has melted. Remove from heat, add butter, stir till butter has melted & leave it to cool.
③Whisk C till thick & glossy (soft peak form) fold into cream cheese mixture till well-combined.
④Pour cake mixture into a non-greased 25cm/10" square baking tin.
⑤Put baking tin into a large roasting pan half filled with hot water, steam bake at 150celcius for 1 and a 1/2 hour till golden brown & cooked.
⑥Remove cake from the oven, invert the cake onto a cake rack & leave to cool completely.


text:
using System;
using NUnit.Framework;
using Umbraco.Core.Models;
using Umbraco.Tests.TestHelpers;
using Umbraco.Web.Routing;

namespace Umbraco.Tests.Routing
{
    [TestFixture]
    public class ContentFinderByNiceUrlTests : BaseRoutingTest
    {

        [TestCase("/", 1046)]
        [TestCase("/default.aspx", 1046)] //this one is actually rather important since this is the path that comes through when we are running in pre-IIS 7 for the root document '/' !
        [TestCase("/Sub1", 1173)]
        [TestCase("/sub1", 1173)]
        [TestCase("/sub1.aspx", 1173)]
        [TestCase("/home/sub1", -1)] // should fail

        // these two are special. getNiceUrl(1046) returns "/" but getNiceUrl(1172) cannot also return "/" so
        // we've made it return "/test-page" => we have to support that url back in the lookup...
        [TestCase("/home", 1046)]
        [TestCase("/test-page", 1172)]
        public void Match_Document_By_Url_Hide_Top_Level(string urlString, int expectedId)
        {
            var routingContext = GetRoutingContext(urlString);
            var url = routingContext.UmbracoContext.CleanedUmbracoUrl; //very important to use the cleaned up umbraco url
            var docreq = new PublishedContentRequest(url, routingContext);
            var lookup = new ContentFinderByNiceUrl();
            SettingsForTests.HideTopLevelNodeFromPath = true;

            var result = lookup.TryFindContent(docreq);

            if (expectedId > 0)
            {
                Assert.IsTrue(result);
                Assert.AreEqual(expectedId, docreq.PublishedContent.Id);
            }
            else
            {
                Assert.IsFalse(result);
            }
        }

        [TestCase("/", 1046)]
        [TestCase("/default.aspx", 1046)] //this one is actually rather important since this is the path that comes through when we are running in pre-IIS 7 for the root document '/' !
        [TestCase("/home", 1046)]
        [TestCase("/home/Sub1", 1173)]
        [TestCase("/Home/Sub1", 1173)] //different cases
        [TestCase("/home/Sub1.aspx", 1173)]
        public void Match_Document_By_Url(string urlString, int expectedId)
        {
            var routingContext = GetRoutingContext(urlString);
            var url = routingContext.UmbracoContext.CleanedUmbracoUrl; //very important to use the cleaned up umbraco url
            var docreq = new PublishedContentRequest(url, routingContext);
            var lookup = new ContentFinderByNiceUrl();
            SettingsForTests.HideTopLevelNodeFromPath = false;

            var result = lookup.TryFindContent(docreq);

            Assert.IsTrue(result);
            Assert.AreEqual(expectedId, docreq.PublishedContent.Id);
        }

        /// <summary>
        /// This test handles requests with special characters in the URL.
        /// </summary>
        /// <param name="urlString"></param>
        /// <param name="expectedId"></param>
        [TestCase("/", 1046)]
        [TestCase("/home/sub1/custom-sub-3-with-accént-character", 1179)]
        [TestCase("/home/sub1/custom-sub-4-with-æøå", 1180)]
        public void Match_Document_By_Url_With_Special_Characters(string urlString, int expectedId)
        {
            var routingContext = GetRoutingContext(urlString);
            var url = routingContext.UmbracoContext
                .CleanedUmbracoUrl; //very important to use the cleaned up umbraco url
            var docreq = new PublishedContentRequest(url, routingContext);
            var lookup = new ContentFinderByNiceUrl();
            SettingsForTests.HideTopLevelNodeFromPath = false;

            var result = lookup.TryFindContent(docreq);

            Assert.IsTrue(result);
            Assert.AreEqual(expectedId, docreq.PublishedContent.Id);
        }

        /// <summary>
        /// This test handles requests with a hostname associated.
        /// The logic for handling this goes through the DomainHelper and is a bit different
        /// from what happens in a normal request - so it has a separate test with a mocked
        /// hostname added.
        /// </summary>
        /// <param name="urlString"></param>
        /// <param name="expectedId"></param>
        [TestCase("/", 1046)]
        [TestCase("/home/sub1/custom-sub-3-with-accént-character", 1179)]
        [TestCase("/home/sub1/custom-sub-4-with-æøå", 1180)]
        public void Match_Document_By_Url_With_Special_Characters_Using_Hostname(string urlString, int expectedId)
        {
            var routingContext = GetRoutingContext(urlString);
            var url = routingContext.UmbracoContext
                .CleanedUmbracoUrl; //very important to use the cleaned up umbraco url
            var docreq = new PublishedContentRequest(url, routingContext);
            docreq.UmbracoDomain = new UmbracoDomain("mysite");
            docreq.DomainUri = new Uri("http://mysite/");
            var lookup = new ContentFinderByNiceUrl();
            SettingsForTests.HideTopLevelNodeFromPath = false;

            var result = lookup.TryFindContent(docreq);

            Assert.IsTrue(result);
            Assert.AreEqual(expectedId, docreq.PublishedContent.Id);
        }

        /// <summary>
        /// This test handles requests with a hostname with special characters associated.
        /// The logic for handling this goes through the DomainHelper and is a bit different
        /// from what happens in a normal request - so it has a separate test with a mocked
        /// hostname added.
        /// </summary>
        /// <param name="urlString"></param>
        /// <param name="expectedId"></param>
        [TestCase("/æøå/", 1046)]
        [TestCase("/æøå/home/sub1", 1173)]
        [TestCase("/æøå/home/sub1/custom-sub-3-with-accént-character", 1179)]
        [TestCase("/æøå/home/sub1/custom-sub-4-with-æøå", 1180)]
        public void Match_Document_By_Url_With_Special_Characters_In_Hostname(string urlString, int expectedId)
        {
            var routingContext = GetRoutingContext(urlString);
            var url = routingContext.UmbracoContext
                .CleanedUmbracoUrl; //very important to use the cleaned up umbraco url
            var docreq = new PublishedContentRequest(url, routingContext);
            docreq.UmbracoDomain = new UmbracoDomain("http://mysite/æøå");
            docreq.DomainUri = new Uri("http://mysite/æøå");
            var lookup = new ContentFinderByNiceUrl();
            SettingsForTests.HideTopLevelNodeFromPath = false;

            var result = lookup.TryFindContent(docreq);

            Assert.IsTrue(result);
            Assert.AreEqual(expectedId, docreq.PublishedContent.Id);
        }
    }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


Our dedicated Service Team is avaialble 24x7 to provide excellent services to our customers.
Latest manufacturing facilities like, CNC Machining Centre, CNC Press Brake, CNC Turret Punch Press, CNC Turning Centre, Paint Shop with latest Pre-treatment Power-coated painting technology, dedicated Foundry and Tool Room.
Highly motivated and experienced Technical and R&D Team for ensuring right quality and product development.
Marketing offices are located at four metro cities and also at Lucknow, Ghaziabad and Panchkula(Haryana).
For Business Enquiry contact goutam@biecco.gov.in / sgm@biecco.gov.in.


The treatment of the spinal column by hand is well-known for approx. 5000 years. Even with Hippocrates there are several reports about manual spinal column therapy.
The American D.D. Palmer founded a method of treating the spinal column manually in 1895 in Davenport, Iowa. He called it "Chiropractic".
The word Chiropractic means "treating by hand".
This is a method of treatment which is executed without medicines, injections or operations. Today Chiropractic is seen world-wide as the largest naturopathic profession of all. It is scientifically secured and fully recognized by medicine.
There are world-wide about 60,000 Chiropractors. In Germany there are 60 Chiropractors trained at a Chiropractic college, which are organized in the German Chiropractor's Association (GCA).
Chiropractic is an independent discipline of the scientific medicine. It deals diagnostically and therapeutically primarily with those disease processes that have their basis in reversible disturbances of the statics and dynamics of the vertebral column.
The central point of interest lies with the joints of the spinal column , that can block e.g. due to an accident, a bruise or also only a " false " movement. A blocked joint can remain in a functionally bad position for a long time and be free of complaints. Then again it can be the reason for apparently unexplainable pain, movement restrictions, muscle spasms and false posture.
Beyond that also functional organic disturbances via reflex processes, e.g. nervous heart, stomach or intestinal disturbances can be caused. Blockings, or so-called "Subluxations", can cause very different complaints by their effects on the nervous system, which can exist sometimes even for many years, without the cause of the complaints being associated to the spinal column.
The task of the Chiropractor is to diagnose such disturbances, and, after a thorough examination, treat them.
Before treatment starts an exact patient history is taken, whereby not only the present complaints are important, but also earlier diseases, operations, accidents etc.
After the patient history is taken, the actual investigation follows, At first the patients posture and mobility is examined. Thereupon different neurological and orthopedic tests are executed, and in addition, if necessary, other bodily functions are examined (e.g. blood pressure among others). The target of the investigation is to get as complete a picture of the state of health of the patient as possible.
Frequently also x-rays are necessary to secure the diagnosis. After diagnostic clarification and localization of the appropriate disturbance, and if it is found that the case can be treated by chiropractic, a treatment plan is then set up. In the cases of no or only partial chiropractic indication, the Chiropractor advises the patient accordingly and recommends the patient to a general-medical doctor or to a specialist for treatment.
The actual chiropractic treatment consists of specific gentle manipulation or mobilization of the disturbed spinal joints. In this way blocked joints are made mobile again and the joint surfaces are brought into correct relationship to each other. If necessary this treatment is complemented by measures, that are to re-establish the efficiency of the movement apparatus as completely as possible: e.g. physio-therapeutic applications, orthopedic balance of a shortened leg, consultation regarding posture, sleep habits and possible false carrying habits, specific sports etc.
Principal item of the chiropractic treatment is the controlled manual manipulation and mobilisation of disturbed joint function, whereby the joint concerned is moved gently beyond its normal movement, however without exceeding its anatomical boundaries.
Often during the manipulation a cracking noise is heard (however for the success of the manipulation this is not important), which is caused by a small gas explosion within the joint capsule and not, as often assumed, by rubbing the joint surfaces against each other. A proper chiropractic manipulation does not cause any damage to a joint, i.e. overstretching of the joint capsule or the ligaments.
Executed by a qualified Chiropraktor, it is possible that with these chiropractic maneuvers the joint function can be corrected, without causing damage, even if they have to be done more frequently.
In this way, with normalization of the joint function, it is possible that also the connected sections of the nervous system and the organs supplied by them may be normalized.