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NGOs and Empire | Canadian Aid Agencies Take Empire Building Seriously
admin Jul 04, 2012 CIDA | Canadian International Development Agency, Humanitarian Agencies, The Occupation of Haiti
by Nikolas Barry-Shaw, Dru Oja Jay
Photo Credit: Creative Commons: googmami
On November 30, 2009, the Conservatives fired the opening salvo of a far-reaching assault against Canadian development non-governmental organizations (NGOs). The concerted campaign to shift the political centre of the NGO world began when the head office of KAIROS Canada received a phone call from the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) notifying the church-based development NGO that its request for funding had been rejected. CIDA officials cryptically informed the organization that its $7.1 million in federal funding had been cut because its activities did not fit the agency's development priorities. It rapidly became clear, however, that KAIROS had run afoul of Stephen Harper's foreign policy priorities, most notably his Conservative government's staunchly pro-Israel stance.
NGOs guilty of similar transgressions soon faced cuts as well. In December 2009, Alternatives – another NGO critical of Israel's occupation of Palestine – learned that its $2.1 million in CIDA funding would be cut. In April 2010, over a dozen groups concerned with women's rights, including development NGOs such as MATCH International and the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), also suffered funding cuts. MATCH International ($400,000 in CIDA funding in 2009) and the IPPF ($6 million in 2009) had been critical of the Harper government's anti-abortion stance internationally. For the targeted organizations, the loss of government funding meant between 40 per cent and 75 per cent of their annual budgets disappeared overnight. The cuts exacted a heavy toll: overseas programs were shut down, offices were closed, staff positions were eliminated, and properties were liquidated.
The spate of funding cuts was part of a broader effort to silence development NGOs. According to the Canadian Council for International Co-operation (CCIC), an umbrella group representing most of the major development NGOs in Canada, many NGOs received veiled warnings about taking positions that conflicted with Ottawa's on issues such as climate change, free trade with Colombia, or the Middle East. "NGOs are being positively invited to remain silent on key questions of public policy," explained then CCIC president and CEO Gerry Barr. The wave of cuts, Barr said, was "a messaging operation to the entire sector which essentially says, in billboard fashion, 'Watch out what you say. You may pay a high price for it.' "
Fear rippled through Canada's development NGO community. "In conversations that we have had with other NGOs, it has of course created a chill," KAIROS's now -retired executive director Mary Corkery reported. "There is fear of being in support of Palestinian people and groups, who essentially are struggling for land and livelihood." When journalist Tim Groves asked Corkery which groups were feeling this pressure, she responded, "The chill is such that people don't want to be named." Several NGO leaders anonymously told the Globe and Mail that they had received subtle warnings from officials that the government disliked their public stances, but they were too frightened to speak out publicly. Shortly after the CCIC publicly complained that the government had created a "chill" in the NGO community by adopting "the politics of punishment … towards those whose public views run at cross purposes to the government," it too had its three-year, $1.7 million CIDA grant cut.
The KAIROS cuts and their aftermath revealed uncomfortable truths about the relationship between the Canadian government and development NGOs. Contrary to their image as free-floating atoms of altruism, NGOs are actually tightly intertwined with the state. Over the years, NGOs' coffers have been filled by ever-increasing amounts of public funding, which has produced organizations that are professionalized, bureaucratic, and dependent on a continued flow of government money. With the typical development NGO now reliant on federal funding for over 50 per cent of its annual budget, NGOs have steadily lost their institutional autonomy and are increasingly subject to the politics and priorities of the Canadian government. The government possesses "unusual life and death power over many Canadian NGOs," former CBC journalist Brian Stewart remarked in the wake of the cuts. "In today's Ottawa, all NGOs know a simple fact of life: displeasing the government means CIDA can turn off your NGO tap with ease, either by simply eliminating the flow or diverting it to another group that the government favours."
Canada's development NGOs, in other words, are not quite as non-governmental as they seem, and with politicians holding the purse strings, these NGOs face serious limits on what they can do and say. Harper's cuts, however, did not provoke a sober reappraisal of the distortions and restrictions that accompany government funding. Instead, the cuts occasioned an attempt to breathe new life into old fantasies about Canadian benevolence and NGO independence.
Canadian exceptionalism
When it comes to international affairs, Canadians tend to believe in a kind of Canadian exceptionalism. While other western countries might have self-interested foreign policies and aid programs, Canada – and Canadian aid in particular – is somehow different. In particular, Canada's traditions of quiet diplomacy and UN peacekeeping are often contrasted with the aggressive, arrogant, and self-interested foreign policy of the United States. Canadians overwhelmingly embrace such flattering characterizations of our international role. In June 2005, a Pew Global Attitudes Project survey of 16 western nations confirmed the widespread belief in Canadian exceptionalism: "Canadians stand out for their nearly universal belief (94%) that other nations have a positive view of Canada."
To win public opinion to their side, leaders of the defunded NGOs appealed to this shining, Pearsonian vision of Canadian foreign policy. Specifically, the NGOs claimed that by cutting off funding to their organizations, the government was engaging in a dangerous politicization of CIDA, which had historically managed development aid in a disinterested, nonideological manner. "f in fact the decision was a political one, then that is very disturbing for the integrity of Canadian aid," Corkery told journalists after KAIROS lost its funding. Michel Lambert, executive director of Alternatives, made a similar point when he claimed the motives for the cuts were strictly "ideological" and had "nothing to do with development or humanitarian aid… It's precisely to prevent humanitarian issues from becoming issues of foreign policy," Lambert wrote in response to losing funding for his organization, "that the Canadian government created CIDA in 1968." Canada was a global good guy, disinterested and fair in its dealings with the South – at least until Harper came to power.
Yet, as political scientist Todd Gordon explains, this vision of Canada was never accurate. "Canada isn't some mere middle power riding the coattails of our superpower neighbour … Canada has always had a self-interest to promote; Canadian capital has always had a controversial presence in the Third World, whether in banking in the Caribbean, manufacturing in apartheid South Africa or mining in General Suharto's Indonesia. But the neo-liberal era, with heightened competition among multinational corporations and the aggressive market liberalization imposed on the Third World by the North (including Canada) has seen an unprecedented international expansion of Canadian capital."
Canadian foreign policy is not exceptional, nor is Canada's development aid program insulated from less-than-benevolent motives. Despite 40 years of justifying development aid on humanitarian grounds, writes Canadian foreign policy expert Cranford Pratt, "most scholarly commentators have concluded that humanitarian considerations have played little role within government in the shaping of those policies." In one of the earliest studies on the subject, historian Keith Spicer described Canadian aid policies as designed "purely in the selfish interest of the state … Philanthropy is plainly no more than a fickle and confused policy stimulant, derived exclusively from the personal conscience. It is not an objective of government. Love for mankind is a virtue of the human heart, an emotion which can stir only individuals – never bureaucracies or institutions … Altruism as foreign policy is a misnomer, even if sometimes the fruits of policy are incidentally beneficial to foreigners."
Photo Credit: Creative Commons: SIPAZ
Quiet glories of a pre-Harper golden age?
In addition to betraying our historic international role as an even-handed diplomat and peacekeeper, the Harper government was accused of violating another hallowed Canadian tradition: respect for NGO independence. Lambert claimed the Harper government had disrupted the "symbiosis" between CIDA and development NGOs and pleaded for officials to recreate the "authentic partnerships" of the past, which had respected the independence of development NGOs. Michael Casey, executive director of Development and Peace, worried that the defunding of KAIROS and Alternatives threatened to disturb the "healthy environment of critique" that once existed between NGOs and the government. "This has always been encouraged in an open spirit of dialogue between government and civil society over the last 40-odd years."
Political commentator Gerald Caplan argued that the "punishment politics" meted out against NGOs were a betrayal of quintessential Canadian values. "The issue here is the reversal, by Stephen Harper, of a 60-year consensus shared by all previous governments about the central role of civil society in Canada. Every previous government has funded civil society groups and NGOs even when they espoused policies that contradicted the government's own. Governments might have done so grudgingly and not as generously as some of us hoped. But it has been one of the quiet glories of Canadian democracy that our governments have often backed groups that criticized them or had competing priorities."
The accusations of his critics notwithstanding, Harper was in fact not breaking new ground. If anything, his Conservative government's actions were in keeping with Canadian traditions. Liberal and Conservative governments alike have a long history of practising the "politics of punishment" against dissident NGOs. In 1975, the CCIC faced funding cuts after it criticized Canada's position at the World Food Conference. In 1979, a radicalized Canadian University Service Overseas, the most prominent Canadian development NGO at the time, had its funding shut off completely. In the 1980s, NGOs supporting liberation movements of southern Africa and Central America were squeezed by CIDA. In 1991, the Inter-Church Fund for International Development, a precursor organization to KAIROS, faced CIDA's wrath for its criticisms of structural adjustment. And in 1995, Canada's national network of development education centres was effectively destroyed when CIDA slashed 100 per cent of its funding.
Neither the "60-year consensus" nor the "40-odd years" of government-NGO "dialogue" and "critique" ever took place. Ruling administrations of the past have disciplined NGOs that dared to contradict the government's international stance, often just as ruthlessly as the Harper government. The Harper cuts were merely the latest example of Canadian governments using their power over CIDA funding to narrow the political space available to development NGOs. What was surprising was just how little the victimized NGOs did to draw the ire of the government. The left-leaning advocacy of KAIROS and Alternatives was meek in comparison to the militant, confrontational approach of the radicalized NGOs targeted by CIDA in the 1970s and 1980s.
The historical amnesia of the NGO leaders and their allies is politically convenient. There is little doubt that they know the history of past funding cuts, even as they promote the myth of a 60- or 40-year consensus at CIDA respecting the independence of NGOs. Hearkening back to a pre-Harper paradise lost allows the NGO leaders to maintain the pretense that their organizations were untainted by government influence until now. The decline of NGO independence may have accelerated under Harper, but the tendency has been playing out for decades. In Canada, as elsewhere, development NGOs have become increasingly integrated into the foreign policy apparatus. "While there was never was a golden age of NGOs," writes Tina Wallace, "they are now becoming increasingly tied to global agendas and uniform ways of working."
For years, aid critics have documented the ways in which CIDA has functioned to the benefit of Canadian multinationals while "perpetuating poverty" in the South. The role of development NGOs in this process, however, has never been systematically investigated. Due to their dependence on CIDA funds, development NGOs have become entangled in the foreign policy of the Canadian government, which is neither benevolent nor disinterested in its dealings with the Global South.
One of the most dangerous ideological effects of development NGOs is that they lead us to think about development in an apolitical way. Couched in rhetoric about "civil society," "participation," and "social capital," NGOs often advance the notion that poverty and inequality can somehow be addressed independently of wider social and political structures. As anthropologist William F. Fisher argues, "Just as the 'development apparatus' has generally depoliticized the need for development through its practice of treating local conditions as 'problems' that required technical and not structural or political solutions, it now defines problems that can be addressed via the mechanisms of NGOs rather than through political solutions."
Even more dangerous is the political blindness development NGOs can transmit about Canada's actual relations with the Global South and about their own role within those relations. NGOs' own inability to perceive these issues severely affects how they function. As veteran NGO worker Brian K. Murphy explains, "Ultimately, because they will be unable to make critical and politically aware choices, this limited vision will relegate the NGOs, at best, to a benign but marginal role in the world. At worst some will play a malignant role as agents of the very global social and economic forces that have created the conditions of poverty, deprivation, political repression, militarism, and environmental degradation experienced by billions throughout the world."
It is the malignant role of NGOs that has come more and more into focus with the latest controversy over CIDA-NGO relations. In September 2011, CIDA announced it would be bankrolling Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) pacts between mining companies and three major NGOs (World Vision, World University Service of Canada, and Plan International) to the tune of $26.7 million. Months later, development NGOs calling for increased regulation of Canadian mining operations abroad, such as Development and Peace and the Mennonite Central Committee Canada, learned that their CIDA funding had been eliminated or severely reduced.
The CSR pacts were the subject of immediate criticism from local organizations. In Peru, World Vision Canada's project with Barrick Gold was immediately denounced as a transparent attempt to stifle local resistance. Miguel Palacin, the general coordinator of the Andean Coordinator of Indigenous Organizations, wrote to World Vision Canada to decry their willingness to work with a company whose activities had already elicited strong opposition from farmers and indigenous peoples. "For this World Vision-led 'development' project to go ahead in the district of Quiruvilca in the face of concerted opposition locally and nationally would be tantamount to running a pacification program, and not a development project, in advance of the eventual destruction of a people's way of life — all for gold."
In recent years, the link between NGOs and pacification has become even more direct. In Afghanistan, NGOs have been swept up in the militarization of aid, with their projects increasingly shaped around the needs and interests of NATO's counter-insurgency strategy. In Haiti, the complicity of Quebec's NGO community in the bloody 2004 coup d'état has tarnished the reputation of organizations usually known for their progressive stances. Increasingly, NGOs serve as the human face of imperialism at home while mollifying opposition to Canadian geopolitical and economic interests abroad.
Thus, although the instrumentalization of NGOs in the service of Canadian mining corporations is particularly glaring, it is inscribed in a longer historical trend, one which was evident well before Harper came to power. Those seeking to build a more egalitarian world order and to express their solidarity with popular struggles in the Global South need to think about other organizational vehicles for their commitment. Internationalism is too important to be left to the NGOs.
This article is excerpted from Paved with Good Intentions: Canada's Development NGOs from Idealism to Imperialism, released April 2012 by Fernwood Publishing fernwoodpublishing.ca
[Nikolas Barry-Shaw is an independent researcher living in Montreal. He is a member of Haiti Action Montreal and the Canada Haiti Action Network, but is better known for his stellar defensive play on the basketball court. He is working on his jumpshot. Dru Oja Jay is a Montreal-based writer. He is co-founder of the Media Co-op, a founding editor of the Dominion, and a long-time solidarity activist.]


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HGV driver shortage climbs to 59,000
The shortage of HGV drivers in the UK has climbed to 59,000 as 64% of transport and storage businesses now face severe skills shortages, according to a recent report by FTA. The Logistics Skills Report, sponsored by Manpower, provides a detailed examination into how various factors, including Brexit and artificial intelligence, are impacting the logistics workforce.
Sally Gilson, Head of Skills Campaigns at FTA, the voice of the UK logistics sector, comments: "The shortage of HGV drivers in the UK has continued to worsen, with 59,000 of them now urgently needed to keep goods moving across the UK. The combination of an ageing workforce, low unemployment, declining EU net migration and difficulties attracting new candidates to the sector has created the perfect storm of driver shortages."
According to the report, 60% of HGV drivers are over the age of 44 and only 19% are under the age of 35. The number of HGV drivers is down 16,000 or 5.0% year-on-year. Ms Gilson continues: "Too few young people are considering a career as a HGV driver; there are several reasons for this, including a lack of understanding of the industry, poor sector image, working hours and lack of quality driver facilities.
"To tackle the labour shortage, FTA is calling for the Apprenticeship Levy to become a Skills Levy, so previously unused funds can be utilised for more flexible training programmes; the current scheme is not fit for purpose. FTA is also calling on government to improve driver facilities to make HGV driving a more attractive career for individuals of all ages."
Ms Gilson continues: "The logistics sector is the lifeblood of the nation's economy, supplying businesses with the goods they need to operate and contributing a total £124 billion gross value added (GVA) each year. The UK economy cannot operate without HGV drivers; they are an integral part of the logistics workforce and a vital cog in the UK's interconnected supply chain. Without them, businesses would simply come grinding to a halt and Britain would find it very hard to keep trading.
Efficient logistics is vital to keep Britain trading, directly having an impact on more than seven million people employed in the making, selling and moving of goods. With Brexit, new technology and other disruptive forces driving change in the way goods move across borders and through the supply chain, logistics has never been more important to UK plc. A champion and challenger, FTA speaks to government with one voice on behalf of the whole sector, with members from the road, rail, sea and air industries, as well as the buyers of freight services such as retailers and manufacturers.
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Book now or miss out - FTA Logistics Awards just one week away! Comment from FTA on the government's Brexit announcement at the Conservative Party ConferenceComment from FTA re approval of Cat C+E apprenticeship amendmentsDeclining EU net migration hits the logistics sector Direct Vision Standard permits now open – operators should apply now Family honoured for a lifetime in LogisticsFTA celebrates its most successful ever Transport Manager conference seriesFTA comments on the government's latest Brexit announcementFTA helps grow UK-Morocco tradeFTA's response to Bristol City Council's clean air plans Government minister congratulates logistics sector on another successful yearLERS launches guide to help road operators save fuel costs and reduce emissions Road and air Brexit contingency measures welcomed by FTATalent in Logistics to challenge industry perceptions at new FTA eventThink Logistics and FTA launch video series to attract young workers
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


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Shoyo Tsubouchi
critic editor educator playwright translator
Gifu, Japan
After graduating Shoyo Tsubouchi was appointed instructor at Tokyo Semmon Gakko (predecessor of Waseda University) where he served till his death. A man of letters and a brilliant scholar of English he began translating the works of Scott, Lytton and Shakespeare into Japanese (1880). His two novels Tosei Shoseikatagi (Modern Student's Traits) and Shosetsu Shinzui (Quintessence of Novels) established his literary fame (1885). He published the Waseda Bungaku magazine and wrote essays and articles (1891). Shoyo Tsubouchi founded the Waseda Middle School (1896); conferred a doctorate (1899); did much to improve the standards of operas and wrote Shinkyoku Urashima (about 1900); founded a dramatic school (1909). He was appointed emeritus professor of Waseda University (1915) and established a cultural society at Waseda University (1920). He translated the complete works of Shakespeare and founded a theatrical museum at Waseda University (1928).
Shōnenji ni mita kabuki no tsuioku (Sōsho Nihonjin ron)
(Japanese Edition)
Japanese Edition
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/4756802990/?tag=prabook0b-20
Masao Yonekawa
Yoshio Yamanouchi
Yaso Saijo
Yoshitaro Yokemura
Hironori Kasahara
Manabu Sano
Shoyo Tsubouchi	Edit Profile
逍遥 坪内
also known as Harunoya Oboro
Shoyo Tsubouchi was a Japanese author, critic, playwright, translator, editor, educator, and professor at Waseda University. He also used the pen name Harunoya Oboro (春のや おぼろ).
Shoyo Tsubouchi was born Tsubouchi Yūzō (坪内 雄蔵), in Gifu prefecture. He was born on May 22, 1859 Gifu, Japan.
Shoyo Tsubouchi studied at Aichi English School, was sent on a prefectural scholarship to Kaiseiko (predecessor of Tokyo University).
After graduating Shoyo Tsubouchi was appointed instructor at Tokyo Semmon Gakko (predecessor of Waseda University) where he served till his death.
A man of letters and a brilliant scholar of English he began translating the works of Scott, Lytton and Shakespeare into Japanese (1880). His two novels Tosei Shoseikatagi (Modern Student's Traits) and Shosetsu Shinzui (Quintessence of Novels) established his literary fame (1885). He published the Waseda Bungaku magazine and wrote essays and articles (1891).
Shoyo Tsubouchi founded the Waseda Middle School (1896); conferred a doctorate (1899); did much to improve the standards of operas and wrote Shinkyoku Urashima (about 1900); founded a dramatic school (1909). He was appointed emeritus professor of Waseda University (1915) and established a cultural society at Waseda University (1920). He translated the complete works of Shakespeare and founded a theatrical museum at Waseda University (1928).
Ourashima: LÉGENDE DRAMATIQUE EN TROIS ACTES French Edition
February 28, 1935 (aged 75)
Aichi English School
Tokyo University Tokyo, Japan
emeritus professor , Waseda University
instructor , Waseda University
founder , Waseda Middle School
founded a theatrical museum , Waseda University


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What Makes Mary and Joseph's Marriage Different?
As we know, an essential part of the Sacrament of Marriage is entering into the sexual embrace. And yet, our Catholic faith teaches that Mary and Joseph remained lifelong virgins even after they were married. So, how does this make their marriage different?
Today, Fr. Mike unpacks this common question and helps us further understand the beauty and grace of the Sacrament of Marriage.
Meet Fr. Mike Schmitz
Fr. Mike Schmitz serves as Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministry for the Diocese of Duluth and as chaplain for the Newman Catholic Campus Ministry at the University of Minnesota-Duluth.
He is a presenter in Ascension's Chosen, Altaration, and The 99 programs, and has a channel on Ascension Presents. He is also the host of the Ascension podcast The Bible in a Year.
ke says:
Fr. Mike Schmitz: What Makes Mary and Joseph's Marriage Different?
So, along the cookie analogy in the podcast, what if one of us ran out of chocolate chips years ago (mentally/emotionally) and not able to find chocolate chips to make cookies in the future? Could that be reasonable grounds for annulment of marriage?


This site focuses primarily on my life as an artist, specifically an abstract one, working in the mediums of printmaking and collage. My life as a graphic designer does not lend itself to taking big risks and pushing boundaries creatively, but art does. My two lives—as a designer and an artist—do feed off each other though, hopefully making me better at both.
set up in my childhood home; was introduced to graphic design in high school that set me off on a path in the commercial arts; I graduated from Carnegie Mellon University with a Fine Arts degree in Graphic Design.
I've made my living as a designer (kelleyalbertdesign.com) ever since. But fine art has always held a special place in my heart. In DC, I spent my weekends selling my collages through outdoor street festivals and juried art shows. In Newport, RI, I learned (and fell in love with) printmaking at the museum across the street. Here in Raleigh, I picked up my camera again, shooting everyday objects for stock agencies, and shooting cities and towns across North Carolina for my blog, kelley-in-carolina.
With every tool I pick up, with every medium I explore, and with every assignment I take on, they all have a few things in common. They teach me something new and they sharpen my sense of color and space—all while keeping me challenged, curious and engaged.


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Dating admin April 21, 2014
Be the first one in your block to own the updated, second edition, " Killers on the Loose: You can buy it at Amazon. Check the Crime Archives for updates on this all other cases featured in Killers on the Loose. Her body was found in a high state of decomposition in an out of the way rural setting. Cause of death, gunshot wound to the chest. DNA from semen found in her body was matched to Yates. A fake pearl button from the shirt that was found lodged under the seat of a Corvette formerly owned by Yates led to the suspect's arrest.
3 (Easy) Steps To Stop Thinking About Your Ex
Portsmouth Square , looking north to Telegraph Hill , San Francisco's Barbary Coast arose from the massive infusion of treasure hunters, called ers , seeking their fortunes by panning for gold as they searched for a potential gold mine. Gold Rush of [ edit ] Main article: Gold Rush of Before the Gold Rush of there were only a few hundred people living in tents and wooden shanties within San Francisco.
Current Drug slang terms – street names of drugs and drug abuse.
On the street, it's called "pimping out. More like cargo than passengers, junk-muddled men and women journey in vans from their boarding houses to drug-treatment centers for a form of group therapy whose efficacy is unknown. Stripped of basic rights, addicts are told by the people who run their boarding houses — called recovery houses — what facility to attend, when to go, and for how long. People suffering from substance abuse must then fend for themselves on the streets, or in the heroin encampment in Fairhill.
This predatory process is known on the street as "pimping out. Money comes into play, motives start to get twisted. Hankins ran a drug-treatment center that he said made a policy of never offering payments to recovery houses. City officials "play into it," he said, and allow it to happen. People who are addicts are sold to the highest bidder. Hankins was unmoved by official explanations.
Length neck to base of tail — 10 inches — 14 inches — 20 inches Width without side tabs — 9 inches — 12 inches — 18 inches The instructions are given for the smallest size. The medium and large sizes are in parentheses. Right Side Increase 1stitch in the first stitch, knit in front and back of the stitch and P1 K one to the last stitch.
Increase 1 stitch in the last stitch. Repeat rows 1 and 2 until there are 43 57, 80 stitches on the needle. K1, P1, evenly until work measures the required length from neck to base of tail.
Here are the steps you must take in order to fully let go and move on: #1 and the hardest step. Understand and accept that your partner would have given you the moon and the stars if he could have.
Reply to this comment My God. I am so saddened. Soon will come a day that their is no help. And we all we cry out for death to take us. And death will not come. I after seeing this am forever changed. I would cry and cheer and clap with every seeming success story. This world is not for the good. Not for the people who where their hearts on there sleeves.
The Female Mind During The No Contact Rule
Jeff July 26, at 6: We have 2 beautiful teenage daughters. I blame myself entirely for the divorce, due to an addiction I struggled with.
But dating an addict. You my ex heroin addict. Establishing a former drug addict drugrehab addiction affect the whole family. Establishing a convicted felon. What you might be unaware of two of two of recovering heroin users. They have become a licensed marriage and cons. Alcohol and drug addiction. My .
List of psychedelic drugs Classical or serotonergic psychedelics agonists for the 5-HT2A serotonin receptors include LSD also known as "acid" , psilocin the active constituent of psilocybin mushrooms , commonly known as "magic mushrooms" or "shrooms" , mescaline the active constituent of peyote , and DMT the active constituent of ayahuasca and an endogenous compound produced in the human body [ citation needed ].
Pharmacological classes and effects[ edit ] Serotonergic psychedelics 5-HT2A receptor agonists [ edit ] This class of psychedelics includes the classical hallucinogens, including the lysergamides like LSD and LSA , tryptamines like psilocybin and DMT , and phenethylamines like mescaline and 2C-B. Many of these psychedelics cause remarkably similar effects, despite their different chemical structure. However, many users report that the three families have subjectively different qualities in the "feel" of the experience, which are difficult to describe.
At lower doses, these include sensory alterations, such as the warping of surfaces, shape suggestibility, and color variations. Users often report intense colors that they have not previously experienced, and repetitive geometric shapes are common. Higher doses often cause intense and fundamental alterations of sensory perception, such as synesthesia or the experience of additional spatial or temporal dimensions.
Research published in journal Cell Reports states that psychedelic drugs promote neural plasticity in rats and flies. Their effects are characterized by feelings of openness, euphoria, empathy, love, heightened self-awareness, and by mild audio and visual distortions an overall enhancement of sensory experience is often reported. Their adoption by the rave subculture is probably due to the enhancement of the overall social and musical experience.
Addicts who have died since their Intervention episode
However, much has happened since it went up, including the Blogger outage. Scroll down for a report on that. More new posts will be added below this one. The essay below is the conclusion of the ninth part in a series by Takuan Seiyo. See the list at the bottom of this post for links to the previous installments.
The Dos and Don'ts of Dating a Recovering Addict Written by McCarton Ackerman | created on 27 January | modified on 18 July It can come as a surprise when you're dating someone who reveals that he's a recovering drug addict.
How long have they been sober? If the answer is less than one year, give them time to get grounded in their recovery before embarking on a romantic relationship. Contrary to widespread misconception, addiction is not a moral failing or a character flaw. Decades of scientific research have shown that addiction is a chronic, relapsing brain disease, similar in many ways to heart disease or diabetes, which requires lifelong care. As such, recovering addicts need empathy and support.
If you believe addiction is shameful or based on a lack of willpower, think twice about dating a recovering addict or learn more about the illness first. Out of necessity, their recovery takes priority over all else. Do know your limits Addicts often have chaotic histories. You may hear stories of wild parties, unpaid debts, week-long drug binges or run-ins with the law. They may have tumultuous family relationships that make for awkward holiday celebrations and gatherings.
For some partners of recovering addicts, these war stories are welcome reminders of the misery of addiction; for others, it may be more baggage than they can tolerate. Before venturing into a relationship with a recovering addict, make an honest assessment of how much you can handle. There are legitimate concerns when dating a recovering addict, not the least of which is the threat of relapse. But, by and large, recovering addicts are a relationship-worthy bunch, having overcome major obstacles and achieved a level of humility and self-awareness that sometimes surpasses those with no history of addiction.
By David Sack, M. In fact, addicts who are solid in their recovery can make excellent partners. But before you put yourself in a position to fall for an addict, there are a few things you need to know:
Archives and past articles from the Philadelphia Inquirer, Philadelphia Daily News, and
Users can quickly become psychologically dependent on it but scientists believe they have found a way to break the habit posed by model Researchers have developed a vaccine that could help drug addicts to both break and reverse their costly habit. S team produced a lasting anti-cocaine immunity in mice by giving them a jab that combined part of the common cold virus with a particle that mimics cocaine. The scientist writing in the online edition of Molecular Therapy, said the vaccine effect lasted for at least 13 weeks, the longest time point evaluated.
The novelty of this possible treatment is that it hooks a chemical that is very similar in structure to cocaine, onto components of the adenovirus, a common cold virus. In this way, the human immune system is alerted to an infectious agent the virus but also learns to 'see' the cocaine as an intruder as well. Once the structure of the new intruder is recognized, natural immunity builds to cocaine particles, so any time cocaine is snorted or used in any way, antibodies to the substance are quickly produced and the cocaine molecules are engulfed by the antibodies and prevented from reaching the brain.
Cocaine addiction Cocaine is a Class A drug, which is illegal to possess, give away or sell. It is a stimulant with a powerful, but very short-lived, effect. This can lead to over-confidence and risky behaviour.
How love is the key to a partner's recovery from addiction
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Retired Women Ministry Director, Accomplice Arrested For Stealing, Selling 2-Yr-Old Baby In Delta (PHOTOS)
Posted on February 10, 2019 by Newsbreak
A woman, Juliet Phillips and her mother as well as a retired director in the Community Development Department of the Ministry of Women Affairs in Delta State, Collins Ogbor have been arrested over alleged stealing and sale of a two year old, Testimony, in Delta State, DAILY POST reports.
Three women were arrested at Idogbo in Ikpoba-Okah Local Government Area of Edo State by officers and men of the Nigeria Police Force from the "A" Division in Warri following the kidnap of the baby.
The prime suspect, Juliet Phillips, who operate an illegal orphanage, Godswill Ophanage at Ekpan community near Newton Agbofodo's compound allegedly stole baby Testimony, a twin from the mother, believed to be close to imbecility, on November 28,2018.
Phillips, it was learnt, took the two-year-old baby to Deliverance Orphanage operated by her mother in Ozoro community in Isoko North Local Government Area of Delta State.
It was from the Deliverance Orphanage, which is registered with the Delta State Government, that the little boy was sold (adopted) to a pastor in the Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, in Edo State at the rate of nine hundred thousand naira.
The cleric, it was also learnt, has renamed the two-year-old boy, Favour, before he was traced to his house in Benin-City by the police.
A retired director of Community Development, Ministry of Women Affairs, Collins Ogbor, is allegedly involved in the sale (adoption) of the boy to the pastor.
A source within the "A" division police station, who craved anonymity, said the boy has been reunited with his mother.
READ Gunmen Attack Wedding, Kill Policeman, Others In Kaduna (Graphic Photos)
The police source said the files of the suspects, who are helping the police with useful information, will be transferred to the Department of Public Prosecution, DPP, on Monday for advice.
The mother of the boy, who daily begs for alms at Effurun market, went for her usual business that fateful day when Juliet Phillips, accosted her pretending to be nice to her and the children.
It was also learnt that Juliet offered to assist the vulnerable woman with a job at Igbudu market and she accepted.
Both of them boarded a commercial tricycle popularly referred to as keke to Igbudu market.
Juliet said the vulnerable woman should pay for her own transportation because she can only afford to pay for herself.
Already Juliet under pretence of help, backed one of the children (the boy) as the two of them were sleeping.
Immediately they arrived Igbudu market, Juliet hurriedly paid for herself before they got down from the Keke and before the woman finish paying and collecting her balance from the commercial tricycle operator, Juliet disappeared with the child she backed.
It was learnt that the vulnerable woman cried over her missing child in Effurun market, drawing the attention of sympathizers.
In the process, the President of the Nigerian Welfare Fund, Comrade Joshua Omorere was called and after carefully listening to the plight of the woman, incidented the matter to the police, who promptly launched investigation into the matter which led to the arrests of the trio.
When contacted, the Delta State Acting Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Andrew Aniamaka, in a text message to our correspondent, confirmed the report.
READ 14-Year-Old Housemaid Rescued After Being Turned Into Sex Slave In Delta (Photos)
The text message reads, "Yes, some persons were arrested in respect of a case of alleged child stealing/ child kidnap and the case is discretely being investigated by Warri Area Command. Pls."
In a chat with newsmen, the President of the Nigeria Welfare Fund, Comrade Joshua Omorere confirmed the report.
He claimed that Juliet Phillips allegedly stole three children from Ekpan Primary School at Bunkering road in 2017.
Omorere said the matter should be thoroughly investigated, and if found guilty, the suspects should be prosecuted in line with the laws of the land.
Pants Thief Was Apprehended in Edo State (VIDEO)
Daddy Freeze reacts to viral video of Pastor Oritsejafor asking Americans to give $5000 to get a mantle that will help them not miss God
Apostle Omotosho releases shocking prophecies for 2019
Nurse Arrested For Helping Pregnant Girls Sell Their Babies In Rivers
Nigerian Pastor, Wife And Twin Babies Survive Terrible Motor Accident Without Scratch In Benin (Photos)
Woman reveals how she makes millions by selling her breast milk to men
Posted in CRIME
More Pictures Of Charms And Weapons Recovered From Thugs At APC Rally In Lagos
Atiku's Kano Rally: Three Feared Dead, 30 Supporters Collapsed (PHOTOS)


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Allahabad High Court yesterday ordered the Uttar Pradesh Public Service Commission to stay the Provincial Civil Services (Judicial) mains examination after a group filed petition alleging irregularities in the Question paper of Preliminary Examination.
The preliminary examination for PCS (J) was conducted in June and the results were declared in August 2013. The Mains Examination was scheduled to be conducted on September 28.
The order was passed by a Division Bench, comprising Justices Rajesh Kumar and Manoj Misra, on a writ petition alleging that there were mistakes in the General Knowledge paper of the Prelims examinations held earlier this year.
The petition was filed by Manoj Kumar Yadav and others. They had claimed that a number of candidates were declared successful despite giving wrong answers to the multiple choice questions, while many deserving ones had failed to make it to the Mains because of the discrepancy.
Another petitioner Shreyase Agarwal had claimed that the UPPSC's answer key released after the preliminary examinations had marked wrong options as right, which affected her total score and she was declared unsuccessful. She claimed that she failed to get to the cut-off level by three marks.
The Court would hear the case again on October 10, hence it asked UPPSC to stay the examination till then. It also asked UPPSC to form a special committee to probe the allegations.


Yelena Simko is embarrassed to show us her kitchen, and equally embarrassed that she has only eggs and bread to offer her visitors. The kitchen is tiny, and has no running water, though Yelena is proud that her son has built her a water pump outside the house. It saves her walking to the village well.
But Yelena is immensely proud of her immaculate garden, with its tightly-packed rows of garlic, lettuce and onions. This is how she feeds herself and her family.
Yelena's salary as a children's nurse is just �20 a month, though she works long hours. At the age of 68, this kindly white-haired woman should have been able to retire years ago - it is just that she cannot afford to.
Welcome to Belarus, a country with the education and an infrastructure that should put it on a par with its neighbour, Russia.
Instead, 10 years after the collapse of Communism, it is following a kind of Soviet Third Way. Its President Alexander Lukashenko calls it 'market socialism', but it involves a lot of five-year economic plans that do no quite work.
At the moment, farmers are being encouraged to grow bumper harvests for the reward of a free carpet or TV set from the state. It seems appropriate, coming from a former collective farm director turned president.
Mr Lukashenko was swept to power on a wave of popular support in 1994. He liked being in power so much he decided to stay, extending his term of office by presidential decree.
A few years ago, he coined a marvellous slogan for his people - telling them "you will live badly, but not for long".
I think he meant that life would improve for the 10 million people of Belarus, though the opposition disagrees.
Not that there is much opposition. Mr Lukashenko severely discourages it.
Opposition leaders and journalists critical of his regime have a tendency to disappear - the victims, the government claims, of mysterious kidnapping gangs.
Likewise, the recent student demonstrations on the streets of the capital Minsk ended with armed police making several arrests. The students' crime was to use humour as a weapon, donning masks with Mr Lukashenko's trademark Stalinesque black moustache. They played out scenes in which the masked Lukashenko figures were the lunatics who had taken over the asylum.
The president failed to see the funny side.
As I relax on a park bench in Minsk on a gloriously sunny day, it seems hard to believe that political opponents here can simply disappear. Young men and women in jeans and trainers walk by, laughing and carrying cans of beer. They look like any western teenagers.
But the opposition leader we meet tells a different story. He has just come out of prison - his crime was to criticise Mr Lukashenko. But he still calls him a dictator, and says there is almost no freedom of the press in Belarus.
Perhaps that explains why Yelena shook so nervously when we interviewed her - even though she was saying how good life is here. Yelena said she would definitely vote for Mr Lukashenko again, when elections are held in September.
She said life now was almost as good as it had been in Communist times. Then she hastily corrected herself. No, life now really is much better.
Not everyone agrees, though Belarus is the sort of place where people do not talk easily to strangers - especially westerners. Mr Lukashenko has made it clear what he thinks of the west - throwing out western ambassadors whom he claimed had been plotting against him, and threatening to jail foreigners who interfere with the election.
Yet a few people do stop to talk to us in the park, their words almost drowned out by the fairground rides nearby.
"We are afraid," admits one woman. "It's in our blood."
"Our parents and grandparents learned fear in Soviet days and now we can't get rid of it."
The old Soviet joke seems curiously apt in Minsk - "we pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us."
If you have the money, you can buy almost anything. The main department store is a glorious Soviet building - full of marble and gilded pillars. Now it is also full of things to buy. The L'Oreal make-up counter is surrounded by a group of young girls in fashionable clothes. They look longingly, but opt in the end for a cheaper local make.
Sitting in the park watching children on a merry-go-round, I suddenly realise what Minsk reminds me of. It is a theme park of the Soviet Union - a place where time has stood still.
Security men are on every corner; the place is too neat, and too tidy. Everything is orderly, regulated.
Yelena cannot imagine life being any different - but younger people here can. And as one westerner here whispers very quietly as we leave: "These are good people, and they deserve better."


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uncanny valley
Adelaide and the uncanny valley
The city of Adelaide was built on a plain, a fact of immense geomantic significance that will feature heavily in a future post. But for now we are interested in a different geographic feature – the metaphor of the uncanny valley.
The uncanny valley is a theory devised by a Japanese robotics professor to explain an odd feature of human emotional responses to robots as they become increasingly human-like in appearance. Basically, the more a robot looks like a human, the more humans will empathise with it. However, at a certain point our response to the robot will switch from empathy to revulsion, as the robot becomes human enough to elicit some part of our normal response to other humans, but not human enough to trigger this response fully or completely. In effect, we are revulsed because instead of looking like a humanoid robot, the robot now looks like a human with something unspeakably wrong with it.
This sense of unspeakable wrongness is the 'uncanny' component of the uncanny valley: a trough of human 'familiarity' or empathy, as depicted in the graph above.
What does this have to do with Adelaide?
Q: What is wrong with Adelaide ?
A: They didn't build it close enough to a major city.
The standard joke or critique of Adelaide as more of a large town than a small city represents an 'uncanny valley' scenario in which visitors and residents alike are conscious of something not quite right in the South Australian capital. As far as I know I'm the first to suggest this application of the uncanny valley to the city of Adelaide, but it has promise.
Basically, in its evolution from a settlement to a city, Adelaide is analogous to a robot gradually becoming more and more human in appearance. We've arrived at a point where Adelaide looks like a city, has most of the things other cities have, but still is not yet an actual city. It sits at an awkward point between 'big country town' and 'major city', leaving us with the uncanny sense of something deeply askew. Adelaide is a very big country town with a few peculiarities all of its own, yet we look at it and see a major city – a major city that has something unspeakably wrong with it.
For many people the 'wrongness' is deeply hidden, overshadowed by day-to-day concerns. Even if we can sense that something is amiss, it's still a challenge to identify and put into words the precise nature of the problem. Future posts will address these peculiarities in greater detail.
Posted in Adelaide Contingent
Tagged Adelaide, country town, empathy, human, revulsion, robotics, uncanny valley


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AirAisa Zest: The Right Way To Fly!
It's more fun in the Philippines! Even though I haven't been to beautiful places around the country, I know that the fun never stops! Now with AirAsia Zest, travelling will be so much fun.
I'm always dreaming of going to places with white sand beaches, historic tourist spots and non-stop shopping escapade. I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I'm always confined at our house. I know it's time to step out of my comfort zone and explore the country now that flying is made easy and comfortable with Air Asia Zest, The Right Way To Fly!
Zest Air is now flying with AirAsia, The World's Best Low Cost Airline. The Civil Aeronautics Board ("CAB") approved "AirAsia Zest" as the new brand name of Zest Airways, Inc. CAB also approved the new logo of Zest Airways, Inc., wherein the Zest name has been incorporated into the iconic red hot circle, which is the signature logo of AirAsia.
AirAsia Zest Chairman Mikee Romero said, "We are excited to introduce AirAsia Zest, and what it represents. With our alliance, we are well positioned to offer our guests the strength of our combined network of domestic and international routes and unrivalled daily low fares, proving a world class travel experience that every Filipino deserves.
We hope this brand new look is the first of many steps towards making AirAsia Zest an airline that continues to revolutionize air travel in the Philippines. We are geared up and committed to ensuring that AirAsia Zest lives up to the same incredibly high standards of AirAsia," Romero said.
AirAsia and Zest's partnership and its new brand name now take you to your destination at affordable prices (AirAsia Zest dares you to compare prices!). And because of this, I listed down three destinations that I'm always dreaming of going to. Excited to know what's on my wishlist? Click CONTINUE READING to find out!
My first destination would be at Cebu, known as "Queen City of the South" this place is rich in culture and heritage that Filipinos are very proud of. I want to visit Magellan's Cross with my father because he's now a very devoted Catholic and wants to visit all the churches here in our country. And visiting this historical landmark will be a very meaningful part of his spiritual journey.
Who doesn't want to relax and have the ultimate relaxation at it's finest?! Everyone wants to experience the white sandy beaches of Boracay and experience night life by the beach! I want to go to Boracay with my family and have our first ultimate bonding. We love going to resorts and beaches located at Batangas and this time we'll invade this paradise from Visayas.
Last but not the least is Incheon, Korea. From soap opera, fashion, skin care and makeup, name it and I bet that Filipinos love their culture! Kpop is very famous not only to teens nowadays but also to all sorts of sizes and ages here in our country. Experiencing Kpop from the land where it all originated will be a dream come true. So if I'l be given a chance to go to Korea, I will never forget AirAsia Zest!
Dreams do come true and flying with low cost airfare is now possible with Air Asia Zest. Travelling to domestic destination like Cebu, Davao, Kalibo (Boracay), Puerto Princesa, Tagbilaran, Cagayan De Oro has never been this easy and comfortable. They also have international destinations like Kuala Lumpur, Kota Kinabalu, Shanghai and Incheon. So what are you waiting for, fly now with Air Asia Zest for a world class travel experience that we deserve!
I will be flying this plane on the 30th..see you soon Bohol..my beloved province...they offer very low fares talaga.
I'd love to see Korea too. It's nice to see Air Asia in the Philippines as it gives consumer more choice and better prices.
@Franc Ramon- well said sir :) madami ng choices ang mga Filipino who has a tight budget.
@Jhanis V.- hello there, have you been to Cebu? I hope to visit there soones!
i have a tight budget on travelling. good thing zest air has a seat sale and thanks for the place choices. it helps a lot!


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DCEU Future
Plans for DCEU
The DC Extended Universe (DCEU) has been fired up ever since Aquaman (2018) became a massive hit. DCEU has ambitiously declared the release dates for several movies including sequels to Shazam, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. While DCEU has confirmed the dates for some like Black Adam, Birds of Prey and Suicide Squad, word in the street is that there are various other projects in development including Batgirl, an Amazons' spin off, Cyborg, Supergirl and many more. Man of Steel changed the course for DC with more optimism added with the success of Wonder Woman. Along with masterpieces like Joker and Aquaman in their basket, DCEU is all set to dominate the superhero universe, and stand eye to eye with the Marvel Universe. Superhero movie buffs are on for a roller coaster ride with a promising era of movies from DC.
Cathy Yan bagged the director's chair of this superhero flick with the help of Margot Robbie who pushed for a female director. While Suicide Squad was a disappointment, Harley Quinn's character seemed promising. The trailer itself was a dash of colors and action and promises a good show. Set to release on February 7, 2020, the movie features a 'batshit crazy' gal gang crusading through the city with Black Mask on their tails. Starring Margot Robbie as the infamous Harley Quinn, Jurnee Smollett as Black Canary, Elizabeth Winstead as Huntress and Ewan McGregor as the vile Black Mask. The movie offers a new look at Gotham. Christina Hodson of Bumblebee fame has scripted this movie. DC is pushing forward by delivering an all female lead superhero movie long before Marvel even thought about it.
Wonder Woman became a show stopper when it hit the screens with a mind-blowing portrayal by Gal Gadot as the Amazonian warrior. Driven by its success, the sequel is set 66 years after the first one. The trailer was so hush-hush as it didn't reveal much but just enough to make the fans go saucer-eyed. They have given us Kristen Wiig as Cheetah, Pedro Pascal as Max Lord and an OMG-WHAAAT moment when Chris Pine returned as Steve Trevor. And did we just witness the debut of the one and only Invisible Plane?! This sequel has the Cold War as its background. Director Patty Jenkins has her fingers crossed for another win when it comes out on June 25, 2021. She also has big plans for a trilogy.
Easter Eggs In Wonder Woman 1984 Trailer
Warner Bros. finally released the long awaited Wonder Woman 1984 (a sequel for the first Wonder Woman movie which was released in the year 2017) official trailer .
This solo Batman movie has been under planning since 2015 when we were promised that Ben Affleck would do the dark cape and mask. But since the script shines noir light on a much younger phase of our beloved nocturnal hero, who is better than the Robert Pattinson with his perfectly chiseled jawline to prowl the dark streets of Gotham to take down criminals. Other stars include Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman, Colin Farrell being the Penguin and Paul Dano as the infamous Riddler. Matt Reeves was roped-in to direct the caped crusader's standalone flick to be released on June 25, 2021. Adding to its hype is a report that the infamous Arkham Asylum might feature.
Spiderman : Into The Spider Verse 2 Teaser
Into The Spider Verse which is one of the best Spiderman movie till date is getting a sequel. The flick will be releasing on August 8 , 2022 as per the "Into The Spider Verse" official twitter account.
Warner Bros has established that this similar-titled movie will not be a sequel but more like a reboot. The previous movie could have made it to greatness but still it depends on the viewer. Margot Robbie, Joel Kinnaman, and Viola Davidson are all reprising their roles but Will Smith and Jared Leto seem to be a question mark. We might also get to see various other rogues like Polka-dot Man, Ratcatcher and King Shark. We'll know how well it does once it hits screens on August 6, 2021.
Dwayne Johnson has been eyeing this character for a long time and refused to be part of the 2019 Shazam, wanting a standalone movie for his favourite antagonist. Johnson is completely smitten by this Shazam adversary which became obvious through his instagram post. Black Adam is apparently as powerful as Superman, a fact which raises eyebrows.
The Flash was set to be released immediately after the semi-tragic Justice League in which the young hero Barry Allen gave his debut. But the script went under the hands of many directors delaying it further. Andy Muschietti of the IT fame is set to direct this Ezra Miller starrer. The filming will begin around 2021 and come out on July 1, 2022. The lightning-fast hero's solo adventure will be supported by a few other Justice League crusaders as they speed across time and dimensions similar to its comic book plot.
Christopher Nolan is back with another banger movie Tenet.Tenet is an upcoming action thriller film written and directed by Christopher Nolan.
Aquaman broke records in the DC Extended Universe when it became its highest grosser, overtaking The Dark Knight. Khal Drogo, that is Jason Momoa grabbed hearts with his physique and yeah of course his unique representation of the underwater superhero (ahem ahem). It's pretty doubtful whether James Wan will return at the helm as the director. At Least we get back Amber Heard as the ravishing, Mera. Yahya Abdul Mateen II might possibly comeback as the Black Manta. More details about this follow up is still vague.
Shazam! was surprisingly a hit among the audience and obviously Warner Bros gave the green light for a sequel. There are no enough details except that Zachary Levi will be reprising his role as the golden-caped superhero and David F.Sandberg will hopefully be returning as the director. Henry Gayden is rumoured to be the screenwriter. Hopefully this sequel might Shazam itself to success like its predecessor.The sequel will be released on April 1, 2022.
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TENET TEASER Unexpected 40 seconds for fans
Ghostbusters : Afterlife (2020)


text:
DownstateStory
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Dale: Love Divided
Natalie Dale -- Love Divided
My breath puffs in white clouds as I turn the key and the engine grumbles to life. It's 2 am, and I'm wearing only thin cotton pajamas beneath my winter coat. I hadn't heard Celeste's voice in five years, not since her taut congratulations when I told her I was getting married. But tonight, when her picture flashed across the screen of my cell phone, I answered without a second thought.
Shivering, I back out of our garage, turn down one street, then another, until I've merged onto the empty highway. The radio is silent; the only sounds are the whoosh of hot air blowing through the vents and the quiet rush of asphalt. My pulse races in my ears.
I worry that my husband won't understand this midnight journey. That he'll take it as a sign that I'm not totally committed to him, to our daughter and the beautiful life we've created together. Ever since we moved to Schaumburg, since my career dragged him away from the city he's always called home, he's been searching for proof that I am just as selfish and self-absorbed as he thinks I am.
I check Google Maps; it's a 45-minute drive from our townhouse in Schaumburg to the address she gave me in downtown Chicago. I have plenty of time. I just need to be home before either of them wake up.
I arrive at the address, park beneath a streetlamp, and flick my lights as instructed. It's an apartment complex: rough, brick and squat. A scraggly tree in the courtyard hunches under the weight of the snow, blue salt scattered along the shoveled sidewalk.
A figure emerges from a door at the far side of the courtyard, a crimson splash against the colorless backdrop. The door opens, bringing with it a rush of frigid air.
"Lexi?" Her voice is so familiar it hurts.
"Get in," I beckon frantically, "it's freezing."
Celeste folds herself into the passenger seat, her long legs pressing against the dash.
"Sorry." I lean forward to release the lever and glide the seat backward, "I keep it forward for the car seat."
"Car seat?"
"Nettie, my daughter. She's three."
Celeste straightens, gazes out the front windshield. She's thinner than I remember, her ink black hair cut short, but she has the same aquiline nose and luminous, coppery skin.
"Congratulations," she says, "you always wanted kids."
I wonder at her use of the plural, resist the urge to touch my stomach. We haven't told anyone about our little peanut yet. I clear my throat.
"What's going on? You said you needed help. That you weren't safe."
She slowly removes her mittens and places them on the dash. "I'm OK now."
"Jesus Christ," I snap, unable to contain my annoyance. "It's three in the morning and cold as balls. I drove all the way out here. Don't I deserve to know why?"
She doesn't answer, just tucks a strand of hair behind one ear. She has several more piercings now, marching up the ridge of her ear like a ski lift. I lean forward, rest a hand on her thigh. I mean the gesture to be reassuring, but the shock of electricity that runs between us nearly takes my breath away.
She must feel it too, because she stiffens, then turns to face me for the first time. Her right eye is red and bloodshot, the flesh around it beginning to swell. I stifle a gasp.
"What happened?"
Celeste gazes down at her lap, spins an amethyst ring around and around her ring finger.
"Jenna," she says finally.
"Your girlfriend did this to you?"
Celeste's jaw tightens. "Fiancée."
I snatch my hand from her leg. "Has this happened before?"
"Yeah." Her voice is soft and distant. "I always pretended it was an accident, but it's not. It never was."
I blink, letting it sink in. We met Jenna in college, though as far as I know, Celeste didn't start dating her until after graduation. Short and compact, Jenna played softball, wore too much eyeliner, and always tied her long, white-blond hair up in a tight ponytail. Her sense of humor was dry as toast, and she'd been known to throw a bat or two after losing a game, but she'd always seemed nice. I can't imagine her doing anything like this.
"I'm sorry."
The words sound stupid as they leave my lips, but I don't know what else to say. Celeste shrugs.
"She thought I was cheating on her."
My shoulders tighten, and I turn away, feigning a sudden interest in the steering wheel. That's what broke us up, after all.
"She still shouldn't hurt you."
Celeste's eyes flash. "Obviously."
She turns away, stares out the window. For a long time, all I hear is the low rumble of the idling car, the occasional roar as the L-train hurtles past on its elevated tracks. It starts to snow; not big fluffy flakes, but the tiny, crystalline ice chips that only form when it's absurdly cold. They glitter as they drift through the lamplight, coating the graying mounds of old snow with a blanket of diamonds. Celeste takes a deep breath.
"I wasn't cheating. Not anymore." Her voice hitches, her voice dropping to a whisper. "I thought this was it. That I'd finally found 'the one.'"
She shakes her head, then turns to face me. Her shoulders are straight, her chin lifted. Despite the swelling of her eye, the tear streaks down her cheeks, I am reminded of how beautiful she is. How strong.
"You deserve better."
Celeste snorts. "I don't deserve shit."
I take her hands in mine. They're cold, her knuckles marred by silvery scars. I wonder how she got them but know better than to ask.
"You do,'" I say. "You deserve to find someone who will make you happy. Someone who makes you feel safe."
Celeste looks up, eyes round and bright as the moon. "Sometimes I worry that I already did."
I suddenly realize that our faces are inches apart. That I can smell her lavender shampoo, trace the veins of gold threaded through the warm brown of her irises. She reaches up, brushes my too-long bangs out of my eyes. Her gaze is locked to mine, searching for something. My heart beats so loud inside my chest that I worry she can hear.
Then she leans forward, and her lips brush mine. A question. She starts to move away, but I reach up and pull her towards me. When our lips meet there is no hesitation. Her mouth is firm against mine, her breath hot on my cheek. My hand slides from the back of her head down her neck and into her shirt. She's not wearing a bra. Her breast fits perfectly into my hand, and my breathing quickens. It's been so long since I touched a breast other than my own.
She's pulling off her jacket, climbing awkwardly over the console to straddle me. Heat floods through me as I see her figure silhouetted against the bright white of the snow. But then the light falls along the right side of her face highlighting the swelling around her eye.
"Wait."
Celeste hesitates, leans back her ankles.
"What?" she asks, her voice breathy and full of heat.
"We can't."
Even silhouetted by the lamplight, I can see her frown. I reach up, run a finger along her swollen brow. She winces at my touch and I pull my hand away. We may not have spoken in five years, haven't fucked in ten, but I know her. Know her better than anyone in the world.
"I can't be your distraction," I say, "I can't take Jenna's place."
Her back goes rigid.
"That is not what this is about," she snaps, but she rolls off me, slumping into the passenger seat and folding her arms like a sulky teenager.
I stare out the windshield, watching the glittering snowflakes dance on the wind.
"Is this why you called?" I ask, trying to keep the hurt from my voice.
"Of course not."
"Then why?"
She remains silent, arms folded, glaring out the windshield.
"Celeste."
Her name sounds like a prayer on my lips. Her head jerks towards me, and I realize this is the first time I've said her name aloud.
"Please. How can I help you?"
Celeste shifts in her seat but still says nothing. I wait, knowing the silence will draw her out.
"I didn't know who else to call."
Her voice is small, nearly inaudible against the thrum of the engine, the whoosh of hot air from the vents.
"All of our friends, they're Jenna's friends first. No one would believe me."
She exhales loudly, bites at her lip.
"I burned so many bridges," she shakes her head. "I'm not in touch with anyone else from school, I'd be fired if anyone at work found out I'm gay, and my parents won't speak to me unless I go back to being Chaaya."
She spits the word like a curse. Raised in a devout Hindu household, Celeste legally changed her name at 18, after her parents threw her out for kissing a girl.
"You are literally the only one left," she continues, blinking furiously, "assuming I didn't fuck this up too."
"You didn't –"
"You're married."
Another silence fills the car, longer and heavier, broken only by the rumble of another L-train hurtling past. Finally, I find my words.
"I'm here, Celeste. How can I help?"
Celeste turns back to me, her jaw tight.
"I need somewhere to stay."
There it is. Deep down, I'd known it would come to this. I think of my husband, still fast asleep in our king-size bed. Of Nettie, too young to understand that I'd ever loved anyone other than her father. If I leave now, I could get home before they wake. They'd never know.
"It doesn't have to be with you," she says, her words tumbling over themselves in her haste. "I know you have your life, and I don't want to mess it up. But maybe if you know someone, or if you could drop me off at a shelter in the suburbs..."
She trails off. In the lamplight, she looks softer. Almost frail. But her chin is set, her eyes fierce even as they brim with tears. I want to hold her, take her into my arms, to tell her that everything will be OK.
Then I remember my husband, imagine the hurt in his eyes if I bring her home without warning. If I inform him that she'll be staying with us for a while, and in the next breath tell him that we kissed. I love him too much to do that to him. But I love Celeste too. I think a part of me always will.
Is it so wrong to love two people at the same time?
I touch my stomach, and smile, thinking of my little peanut. Already my love for them is unique, distinct from my feelings towards Nettie and my husband. When the time was right, we were going to wrap Nettie in our arms and tell her that she was going to be a big sister, but that we did not, could not, love her any less for loving another.
Only love can be divided yet grow with every division.
I turn to Celeste, take her hands in mine. I know my husband will be hurt and angry, that this will drive a wedge between us, widening the cracks of our marriage. But I can't abandon her. I don't think I could live with myself if I dropped her off at a shelter, not knowing if she was safe, or if Jenna would come looking for her. Perhaps I am selfish after all.
"Come home with me," I say. "You can stay as long as you need." DSS
Natalie Dale of Hillsboro, Oregon, is a former neurologist whose fiction has been published in magazines and books. Her work " Setting and Character" is published in her series "Writers Guide to Medicine." She also plays violin in a community orchestra, runs a writing critique group and organized a school reading program.
Posted at 05:32 PM in 2021 Dale | Permalink
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Frank Szécsi de Felsőlendva (Széchy; died 28 September 1396) was a Hungarian nobleman from the influential House of Szécsi.   He was the son of Nicholas I Szécsi, the Palatine of Hungary (1385–1386) and Margit Debreceni, granddaughter of former palatine Dózsa Debreceni. He had three brothers, including Nicholas II, who served as Master of the treasury. He had no children.

He functioned as Ban of Szörény and Ispán of Temes County between 1393 and 1394. He held the office of Royal treasurer from November 1394 to May 1396. He was killed in the Battle of Nicopolis.

Sources
  Engel, Pál (1996). Magyarország világi archontológiája, 1301–1457, I. ("Secular Archontology of Hungary, 1301–1457, Volume I"). História, MTA Történettudományi Intézete. Budapest. .
  Markó, László: A magyar állam főméltóságai Szent Istvántól napjainkig – Életrajzi Lexikon p. 365. (The High Officers of the Hungarian State from Saint Stephen to the Present Days – A Biographical Encyclopedia) (2nd edition); Helikon Kiadó Kft., 2006, Budapest; .
  Soós, Ferenc (1999). Magyarország kincstartói, 1340–1540 ("Treasurers of Hungary, 1340–1540"). Budapest.

14th-century births
1396 deaths
Hungarian nobility
Frank
Royal treasurers (Kingdom of Hungary)

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


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Jay Ford grabs G1 chance on The Bostonian
Trelawney Stud graduate The Bostonian has been backed into favouritism for the Gr.1 Winx Stakes at Randwick and trainer Tony Pike can only add fuel to the fire.
"Things are falling into place. The soft track, gate one and his fresh-up record is obviously enticing some punters to think he's a strong winning chance in the race," Pike said of the Jimmy Choux gelding who was born and raised at Trelawney Stud for breeder/owner David Archer.
Due to COVID-19 travel restrictions, Pike will watch the race from New Zealand after sending The Bostonian to Sydney on Monday.
He believes the horse is in superb order and going at least as well as he was prior to taking out the Canterbury Stakes first-up in the autumn.
A seasoned traveller, the horse is on his fifth trip to Australia where he has recorded all three of his Group One wins.
"His work on Monday morning before he jumped on the plane was exceptional so I think he's in very similar condition to what he was before the Canterbury Stakes," Pike said.
"It's a deeper field on Saturday but from gate one he should be right there again."
Opening at $8 with TAB fixed odds, The Bostonian had firmed into a $5.50 outright favourite on Friday.
The six-year-old will be Jay Ford's only ride at Randwick and will complete a busy week for the jockey who made the trek to Taree on Friday for five mounts.
The accomplished rider, most famous for his partnership with champion sprinter Takeover Target, has been concentrating on the country and provincial circuits since the COVID outbreak.
He last rode in town on a Saturday at the end of July and plans to make the most of his chance on The Bostonian.
"When opportunities like this arrive you've got to take them and hopefully we can make the most of it tomorrow," Ford said.
"This ride came about out of the blue and in this industry you never know what's around the corner, you just keep turning up and working hard.
"He ticks a lot of boxes. He has drawn well, he's got a good fresh record, he likes a soft track and he's proven at the top level multiple times. He looks a real live chance."
Nash Rawiller and James McDonald rode The Bostonian in his two Sydney autumn runs but with Rawiller suspended and McDonald committed to Verry Eleegant, Pike has put his faith in Ford.
"He's riding in good form and obviously he has won these big Group One races before with Takeover Target so I'm happy to have him on," Pike said. -AAP


It's funny what you learn from experiences, and I must say I learned a lot from Hunter's baptism. Not that it wasn't wonderful and special, but we tried to keep it really low key and invited family only, but as hard as we tried, everybody just wanted to be there. I felt very unprepared as people kept showing up and showing up and I hate not being prepared. So with Ava's baptism we decided to do invitations. This way I knew who was coming and since we were serving dinner afterwards I could be better prepared.
I had no idea what I was going to do for her invitation. I bought some pretty paper, printed a whole slew of pictures and just sat down to create. I always make up one from start to finish and then I do assembly line cutting. I find it to be the most efficient way of getting things done. So we cut and laid out all the parts of the invitation first.
And Ava and I assembled them together.
The stitched flower and leaf are from Stampin' Up, but I'm pretty sure they are retired now. Sorry.
I did do some with buttons instead of the flower, I really liked them both.
The inside had a vellum overlay with the baptism information.
And for reference, this was Hunter's baptism invite.
I swear, nothing is happening in my life. I'm boring.
So I've started this new motivational cleaning system for myself (more on that later) and like I said before, I LOVE it! I'm actually keeping my house clean (and no, it's not fly lady ha-ha) But the problem is, I'm doing all the cleaning and my kids are doing all the messing. So I made this weekly reward chart for the family.
If the kids (and parents) can keep the main floor of the house clean for an entire week (checking off each day, or stamping a flower in this case) then at the end of the week we will do a special family activity together.
Anyways, I quickly made this with some scrapbook paper and a couple stickers. The pink part of the paper is laminated, so weekly when I rip off the old one and add a new one, it won't wreck the paper underneath.


I was scared when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and we couldn't see him for a very long time and no one would tell me and my sisters why. Then one day, we were able to go hang out with him and he wouldn't tell us anything only that he was very, very ill. He kept telling us he would be fine despite the fact that we weren't able to see him on our normal schedule for months.
This entry was posted in It's that time of year... and tagged cancer, dad, faith, fear, God, Peace.
Phobia? Are there monsters under your bed?


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