So my MIL is here, which means we have childcare help. We have nothing lined up for this weekend. We actually did the laundry Wed-Thurs night and went grocery shopping last night, so the major chores are done. B is in the midst of an awful summer cold so we haven't planned any outings. The kids will probably just do their coloring/puzzles/books/movies thing which she can supervise (she's had that at home the past few days while we're at work, anyways). I was wondering how to spend this unusual luxury of free time.
My first thought was that G and I could have a day date. We looked into options. There is an exhibit at the art museum that looks interesting but the tickets are pricey! Its too hot to just wander around outside. A movie? We saw the only two movies we wanted to see on our vacation. Go out for lunch or drinks? Money. Calories. Often when grandparents visit we just like to go out and run errands together, but we went to the grocery store last night & ran a bunch of errands with L last weekend. There really isn't anywhere we need to go except maybe to drop off some stuff at the Goodwill and that is hardly a date.
Then G decided that maybe he'll just spend the time working on a wood-working project at home (his new hobby, its pretty useful actually---current projects include a shelving thing for the garden and a bed for L). So I'll be on my own. I am really struggling to figure out how to spend the time. In the past, I'd use a free chunk of weekend time to go shopping, but..shopping ban. Or to go get a pedicure---I stopped doing that because $ (and its so easy to just paint my own toes, its kind of silly). I do need to color my hair (I do it myself with drugstore hair color) but that isn't really fun, and it takes about 45 minutes. I don't really have any local friends I can meet up with (all of my few friends have their own families and kids and vacations going on). I almost signed up for a barre class Sunday morning but then realized that paying $23/class on top of $100+/month we already pay for the gym seems stupid, so I'll just go to the usual classes at the Y.
I'll work out each morning at the gym as per my usual routine. I'm not reading any books right now. I'm kind of burnt out on reading, I go through cycles of reading a ton and then taking a break, and its a break time. I'm sure I could find work to do, but ugh.
I think a lot of the "woe" is coming from the restrictions I've placed on our spending. Prior to that, we probably would've just done the art museum, or went out in the afternoon to a wine bar or something. I think we are going to end up going out for dinner Saturday night because its just getting too blah to sit and shovel down leftover Indian food with the MIL every single night.
Any brilliant ideas for fun, free things to do on a day date? What would you do with 3 hours of free time on a weekend?
The comments on my last post made me realize that maybe I wasn't clear. I do not in any way think spending time on the internet or Facebook or playing computer games is inherently bad. I think if you find those activities fun/relaxing/rewarding then there is absolutely no problem. I also find them relaxing and rewarding---at times. When I get on Facebook to see pictures of my cousin's wedding in India that there was no way I could attend, and get to see faces of so many relatives I haven't seen in over 10 years---that is kind of cool! Looking through my sister's monthly photo dumps of my niece and nephew is heart-warming! Getting on my Buy Nothing group and snagging something I needed or finding a taker for something I'm trying to get out of our house is super productive! I'm not actually planning on quitting FB because I find it overall more useful than it is harmful. I'm certainly not quitting "the internet" because I find blogging and reading/connecting with other bloggers to be a really good source of support and connection.
What is different between what I just described enjoying, and what I really want to stop doing is the intention behind the activity. Now I know this is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days (like the word "un-blowuppable"*) and I do tend to hate on those things (see also "mindfulness") but I can't think of another word that really gets to my point. It is one thing if you are purposefully (purpose could be a good synonym for intention? motive?) choosing to spend your free time checking on blogs, participating in a FB group, or playing a game on your iPad. Its quite another when you actually planned to do something else (even if that "something else" was sleep) but for some reason you started scrolling and couldn't stop and then that time is gone. Or you were playing with your kids and OMG they are taking forever decided which truck is the mommy and which is the daddy and lets just check FB and 10 minutes later its "Mommy! Look at ME!" and oh well, its time to go to work now anyways, so much for using the mornings well.
Or (and this is what happens to me), you remembered something stressful that happened and eek, its making me anxious, and I do NOT LIKE to feel anxious---must forget about, must distract, must disconnect----oooh GOMI. aaaahhh. that's better. Oh, look at the time! Has it really been that long? And you never dealt with the stressful thing or figured out a way to not be so anxious about it and the next time that thing comes up you are back at square one. The whole reason I started going to therapy was that I didn't think distraction/numbing/disconnecting was a super-healthy or sustainable way to deal with anxiety in the long term. I wanted to learn how to face my fears head on and also how to talk myself down when that chest-tightening/going to throw up feeling first starts to comes on.
I specified "in the long term" because I think that if something is short-lived, YES, you do what you can to get through it. And when you're in the moment, like I said before, maybe playing a little 248 or clicking some link-bait, if it releases the pressure, is probably a good outlet. But its not a "treatment" or "cure" for anxiety, which is why I'm trying to limit that specific use.
There was an interesting back and forth on SHU's blog yesterday about whether or not spending time on blogs/internetting (apparently this is not a word?) is an OK coping mechanism. I've been working on reducing my on-line time wasting for years now, so obviously I think its a problem. I kind of figured everyone would agree. Surprisingly, the dissent came from my therapist!
I mentioned that one of the ways I deal with my anxiety is zoning out on blogs or internet sites like Facebook or that-which-won't-be-named. And that I wanted to work on better coping mechanisms. Her response was: "But what's so bad about that?". I was sort of surprised by that answer until I thought about it. She deals with people with all sorts of mental health issues---that come with maladaptive and dangerous coping mechanisms like substance abuse, eating disorders or self-harming. Spending 30 minutes on GOMI (OK, I named it) trying to make myself feel better by comparing my life to vapid food bloggers doesn't really rate as unhealthy in that world.
But that doesn't really mean its good FOR ME. I don't have a ton of free time these days. There are lots of things I'd like to do with my time, some of which may actually do more to actually HELP my anxiety, rather than just cover it up for a while. I've been wanting to try meditation for over a year, but haven't "gotten around to it" (its not a priority). I want to harvest and dry the herbs from my garden, hunt for new recipes, write more here, plan some date nights, clear out my closets...hell, if I don't have the energy to do productive stuff, there are many books I want to read and TV shows I want to watch!
And that's just in the evenings. There are also those days when something or the other gets in my head and I get a bit worked up and I need to take the edge off and I waste 20-30 minutes of my precious work day faffing around on sites I don't even enjoy. I have planned breaks that I use to write here, and comment on your blogs, but some days, I go above that allotted time and scroll Facebook yet again or see what's new in the forums. Even when I can't do the deep thinking work because I'm too tired or stressed, there are literally hundreds of tasks I could cross of my list that would actually make me feel energized and positive rather than more stressed and down on myself.
I've decided that there are indeed certain situations---where I'm stuck somewhere with nothing else to do, and feeling stressed and anxious and not wanting to lash out at anyone or say something I'll regret (some moments at my MIL's house come to mind!) that scrolling through FB or reading something stupid for 10-15 minutes will calm me down enough to move on. It IS a better coping mechanism than yelling at my husband or drinking too much (things I may have done on occasion...). But for everyday life, I need to give it up (yet again, seriously, how many times do I have to try before it sticks? I was doing so well for a while this winter! I guess its like anything else, just keep swimming). I did manage to completely give up playing any kind of games on my phone, and I've never gone back, so I am capable of change!
Oh, and just to add it on here...I'm also trying to cut down on my drinking. That was another thing that's crept up over the past couple of months. During the winter I quit drinking on weekdays and was doing really well with that, but somehow fell back into a nightly glass of wine which sometimes became 2 glasses, and sometimes a third on the weekends. This one is not in any way related to stress, it just was...fun/tasty. And then it became a habit. Like, kids are in bed, pour glass of wine, finish glass, pour a little more. This seems to be another area that I keep trying and failing to change in my life and I'm pretty sure everyone will agree (including my therapist) that this is an unhealthy habit!
So: no more internetting outside of planned breaks and not on time sucking forums of any kind. No alcohol on weeknights unless I'm out with others.
What do you do to relieve stress? How many times do you need to quit something before it sticks?
The good thing about taking a break for the everyday is the perspective it brings. When I'm in the midst of it, I just can't see it. Stepping back made me realize how exhausting and un-fun our routine can be for all of us. The activities, the to-dos, the careful counting of every penny we spend, calorie we (I) eat, etc... Its a whole lot of "shoulds" and "can't"s and it can be demoralizing after a while. I've been thinking about is how to incorporate more of the relaxed, vacation-feeling into our everyday lives. Its difficult, because the choices we made for our everyday lives were not made on a whim but firmly based on values and priorities we've thought through---changing those things would end up compromising or changing some of those priorities. But maybe we do need to shake things up.
1) Food. For the love of god, the food procuring, making, eating, cleaning up after. We know its better for our budget and our health to make food from home for most meals. We have systems down, we are efficient, but it still takes a lot of time & physical/mental energy to keep all of us fed with "growing food" for the minors and "no-growing food" for the adults in the family! Add the calorie counting and recording I was doing and food took up a large portion of my mental space. It goes directly against our financial and health goals, but eating out more often would relieve a HUGE burden. I'm not sure how to reconcile this---I know families that eat out all weekend and then do home cooked food all week, and vice versa. Maybe we can just plan to take a "food vacation" once every couple of months, get take-out and cafeteria lunches & come back refreshed? The kids OFTEN ask to go to the park or library in the evening and we can't because we have to figure out dinner & get them fed before bedtime and I HATE that. Yes, even simple meals take time to get on the table and into picky mouths. Once in a while we've gone to the park and just gotten deli sandwiches nearby and its amazing. Maybe doing that once or twice a week?
2) Activities. B is doing karate twice a week, after school and sometimes also on Saturday AM. Initially it was a GOOD thing, to get us out of our go to school/work-come home routine in the winter, but now its another tiring to-do. We're always running late and rushing and then coming home late & tired and hungry (well, I am anyways, B eats a small meal before). Also, we initially planned for B to eat dinner before but now he's eating TWO dinners, so it saves no time at all, and by the time he gets home & has dinner, its bedtime & he never fails to have a tantrum because he "didn't get time to play". We are signed up (and pre-paid) through September but aren't going to renew (it won't be convenient from his KG, anyways) and I've decided to limit activities in the warm months & ramp them up in the cold months (opposite of what I used to do, since it was so hard to get toddlers dressed to go out in the winter).
3) Weekends. We do a lot on the weekends. I'm always finding and planning activities for us to do because I go a little nuts staying at home. These things are ostensibly fun, but of course, fun with small kids is also tiring and then at the end of it all there is very little unstructured time for the boys to play together or make up games. I know unstructured play is important and good for kids (and my kids are asking for it more, by refusing to go out or, worse, refusing to go to bed!), and especially after B starts "real school" and aftercare, I want to make sure they have enough of it in their weekends. Not sure how to schedule this---one day each weekend to stay home? Half a day? One weekend a month? Or most likely just play it by ear and see what the kids (and us) seem to need.
4) The "shoulds". This is my issue. I just can't relax until everything is done, and there is always something to be done! Its hard for me to just sit and watch the kids play (or play with them) for more than a few minutes, or even just do something for myself unless I've planned it out or am too exhausted to be productive. I'm constantly working on this problem, and I've gotten WAY better, but even though I am sitting or playing with the kids in body, my mind is often elsewhere. My brain just runs through the list and calendar I keep in my head (they are copies of the actual ones I keep, I DO write things down!)---home, work, kids, dog, others---making sure I haven't forgotten to buy a wedding present or schedule a dentist appointment (two things I need to do today!) I just need some of G's attitude, where he can stop in the middle of whatever to have a beer and build a lego castle (usually while I give him the stink eye because DUDE you didn't finish the dishes!), to rub off on me.
6) (last one I promise) One on one time. Again, we started doing a lot of this when B first started karate. We took turns taking him on Saturday AM and then spending most of the day with him while the other one hung out with L. It was fun to do new things with the kids and also to reconnect at the end of the day. Not sure how that ended, but it did and I'd like to re-instate that. (and maybe engineer more opportunities for one or the other to stay with grandma again! it was great! but probably won't happen until next summer, since B starts KG).
I wrote this down so I won't forget, and we'll see how it goes!
Glasses of Wine consumed: er....too many. it was borderline problematic.
Movies watched by kids at home: again, too many. MIL likes the screentime.
We leave tomorrow for a much-dreaded 8-day trip to MIL-land. I won't go into the details of why I dread it, just take my word for it. Its an obligation and we survive. But when I'm using my precious vacation days, I certainly want to do more than "survive". I know from experience that its pointless to really plan or look forward to anything specific in our time there. She has plans for us, but they are vaguely formed and only in her own head---trying to get anything articulated ahead of time, or to plan our own outings around the family obligations is an exercise in (even more) frustration.
But just like any other times in life, nothing is every "all good" or "all bad". We all know even the "perfect" days probably harbor a tantrum or raised voice or frustrated sigh. And something I've finally learned in the past few years is that even the worst days have a glimmer of laughter, contentment, or satisfaction. The key is noticing and focusing on those moments, and using that to help carry you through the rough patches.
So I'm making a vow, with all of you to hold me accountable, that I'm going to notice and record three good things from every day of our trip. I'm packing a tiny notebook to jot them down at the end of each day, or as I go along. I suspect it will be a mix of moments with the kids (who will have a good time, which is one reason we go), time alone with G, and hopefully some me-time relaxation (reading, exercise).
I'll have my laptop with me, and I hope to post during the trip. Back to wrapping up work.
A few years ago, I wrote a series of posts about our household routines, and I figure its time for an update. The discussion of how couples divvy up household chores is endlessly fascinating to me, so I'll start with that one. Future topics include: food, childcare, and "me time".
First off, let me say that I am super lucky in two regards. 1) My husband is in every way an equal partner in domestic chores and 2) We can afford to, and we did, hire house cleaners. There is still a LOT to be done, though and this is how we do it.
First off, to get a sense of what we have to clean, we have a 3 story + finished & unfinished basement row house with a back patio and a 3rd-floor deck. 1800 sq feet. 2.5 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms.
The house cleaners come every other week (they are working on my house this very moment). They do bathrooms, kitchen, dusting and cleaning all the floors (all hardwood that they wet mop with a swiffer, plus 2 rugs that they vacuum). They also change the sheets on the beds if we lay new sheets out for them. We provide all the cleaners, mops, brushes, and rags/paper towels for them. They do an OK job. I think I would do a better job with the bathrooms (there is some gunk in the shower and on the bottom of the toilet that I would've cleaned) and the kitchen never looks as clean as it is every evening after we clean it but I would never dust every 2 weeks.
In between, we vacuum the downstairs at least twice (more often in the summer, when the dog sheds like crazy) and may touch up the downstairs bathroom if we have people over.
We don't do much "pick up". We used to, but I convinced G there was no point. Toys just sit out there, the kids room is a mess. G & I put our stuff away from when we're done with it so its not too bad. Once every few weeks I'll notice a bunch of stuff piling on the table and will go put it away but there is no schedule for that. If we get a bee in our bonnet to unclutter we do it then and there; its completely random. I come home first so I get the mail and deal with it immediately---shred, recycle, or file (mostly recycle). Whoever is on kitchen duty Sunday night takes the trash out.
This used to be 100% my domain but we are splitting it now, thankfully! There is no sorting, except for towels and cleaning rags which go in hot water. We put loads in either when we note the hamper is full (G does not seem to note this ever) or on the weekend. We probably do 6 loads/week. Putting it away is our nemesis and clean laundry may sit in baskets for days. The kids laundry I divide up and give them to shove in their bins (they like doing this). One of us will put ours away at some point. We don't iron. I take care of my hand washing infrequently. We handle our own dry cleaning on the way to work (I dry clean maybe 3 items/year).
We do our big shop at TJs on Saturday usually. We take turns doing this, based on who feels like it. Its a 1 mile walk, so if I want exercise, I'll volunteer. I often take a kid with me as an excuse to have the stroller to put the bags in! It takes about 1.5 hours door to putting food away and closing fridge door. Mid-week, G will take the boys to WF at least once to restock on things (its on their way home). I walk by the pharmacy on the way home so I'll get anything we need there. Everything else is purchased online. G currently holds all of our subscribe and save items on his account. For one-off things, whoever thinks of it orders it. If its me, I'll put it on a list and get to it during a lull at work or later that night. If its G, he'll go right to his phone, ignore me talking to him, and work on it (yes, it annoys me). Oh, the dog stuff---G goes to the local store to buy dog food and treats because we get 40 lb bags.
This topic comes up a lot, related to men and women and work-life balance. This "invisible work" that women tend to do---like scheduling appointments, remembering birthdays, etc... I do all the medical/dental appt scheduling (but we trade off taking them, based on schedule), I sign up the kids for activities (I research them and sign them up), I did the after care for next year and will probably do the summer camps. I remember birthdays and send cards, I RSVP to kid parties & get the gifts. I even remind G to get flowers for his mother for mother's day. I come up with the ideas for vacations, research costs and then present them. I found all our sitters and I schedule them. I sign up for rewards credit cards and cancel them on the right date. I learned a LOT about financial stuff this year and helped sort a lot of stuff out for us. So I could feel pretty put upon about how I shoulder the bigger burden in this category.
But the thing about this "invisible work" is that you only notice it if you're doing it. And there are apparently all these things G is doing that I had no idea were happening. He changes out the filters every 3 months and the batteries on things every 6 months (and remembers to buy the filters/batteries). He cleans the gutters, gets the HVAC system checked, oils/tightens (or whatever it is that needs doing) the stroller frame/tires and replaces flats (it happens). He cuts the boys nails, I have NEVER done it. I knew he did it, but not that often! He also cuts the dog's claws, brushes her fur and her teeth. He books the dogsitter, and stays on top of dog food. He fixes little things around the house when I'm asleep at night, like 2 fans that weren't working that now are! He fixes ALL technical issues that come up in the house. He refinanced our mortgage this spring; just decided to do it, called around and made it happen (I signed stuff and showed up for the closing). He researches any appliance or tech purchase, and also spends time researching/learning how to do home maintenance.
Reading over this section, it seems we fell right in with traditional gender roles, but whatever.
Overall, I'd say we average 50/50 when it comes to chores. Sometimes one or the other of us will have more energy (honestly, its usually G) and gives the other a break. We have never formally discussed it, we always divided the chores and continued to do so after kids came along (aside from the times when I was pregnant and sick and I did maybe 10% and he picked up the slack). If one of is away---for a night or for a week, the other takes over everything as best we can. We do discuss whether to outsource something or whether something even NEEDS to be done, but we have not yet needed to have long discussions or arguments about chores.
Oh, there is whining and complaining. Its not all sunshine and roses. And from my viewpoint, the bad attitude seems to be coming more from his end than mine (though sometimes I'll sigh and mope around as I clean the kitchen at the end of a long weekend day, I admit it). I'd really like to fire the house cleaners and get my $200/month back, but G refuses (we clean our kitchen anyways, changing sheets is not a big deal, I can clean bathrooms and he could mop every other week for an hour and who the hell dusts?) I'd also like to NOT clean the kitchen every damn morning when we're rushing to get to work but he insists on making eggs for breakfast (and spilling some, invariably, on the counter and getting salt all over the stove and...). And we would both LOVE to train the boys to take over at least some of the cleaning over the next few years (wipe down table? dust?).
Right now, its working OK and this is an area I think we've got covered.
I was always intrigued by the idea that understanding myself and what drives me could positively impact my productivity, relationships, and overall happiness. There are so many different ways to categorize yourself, and a slew of online tests you can take to see what neat little box you fit in. Except I never felt that I quite fit in any of the assigned boxes. Every time I took the Myers Briggs test, for example, I got slightly different results. Some things were clear---I'm an introvert. But sometimes I got N and other times I got S, etc... And none of the descriptions of the types seemed exactly right to me.
Because I've been interested in adapting good habits, I was fascinated by Gretchen Rubin's "four tendencies" that purport to explain why people keep or don't keep habits and what strategies can help them. When thinking about how I work, I notice that I respond quickly to emails and requests, but tend to push aside the big-picture career-building stuff. I assumed, thus, that I was an "Obliger", described by Rubin as one who "meets outer expectations and resists inner expectations". But then again---I have kept a steady exercise habit for years, with no outside motivator, and there are definitely requests I get from others that I completely ignore---if ignoring it has no negative consequences for me. I figured it was yet another example of me not finding myself in any of the categories and not quite fitting in anywhere.
Then I took the quiz (linked above) and read more about the other types. It was a big Aha!-type moment for me to realize that I am not an Obliger at all, but a Questioner ("resists outer expectations, meets inner expectations"). Questioners also "question all expectations; they'll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense–essentially, they make all expectations into inner expectations". YES!!!
I do things when they make I see the rationale behind doing them and/or when there is a clear benefit to myself to doing them. Funny, because I'm sure G could've told me that in 2 seconds. I question EVERYTHING and will not do it until he gives me a reason that makes sense to me (he's always trying to get me to do things "his way" and I am SOOO resistant unless he outlines tangible benefits or evidence). Examples: throw away food after x days (I don't). use 409 vs. water to clean counters (only when they are greasy), fold the kids clothes to put in bins (never!) Tip 20% every time we go out to eat (I do), walk on the inside of the sidewalk when we are walking together (constant struggle, I don't see the point yet).
As a naturally conflict averse person, who gets major anxiety around interpersonal conflict in general, "avoids conflicts" is a HUGE benefit to me and I do almost anything to achieve that goal. I think this, in part, is what made me think I was an Obliger. But I don't meet all outer obligations. I'll definitely skip required things if they are useless and no one would notice that I'm missing (a question on the quiz). I do not actually put my own needs below those of others; I'm not a martyr (a typical Obliger trait). Having an "accountability partner" was never helpful for me (the standard Obliger strategy, I tried it last summer) because I didn't really care what she thought about my lack of writing 1 hour/day (and I knew she didn't care one fig).
At work, I respond to requests from others because 1) if I don't, they'll keep bugging me which is annoying and 2) my quick reply can get things moving, whether its for a patient or a colleague. I see the rationale and the benefit to me is the avoidance of more requests. I exercise because I know I feel good afterwards and I like feeling strong. Oh, and so I can eat more. In fact, I get myself out of bed at 5:30 by reminding myself of how great I feel afterwards, both mentally & physically. I usually go to bed early because I feel much better with sufficient sleep and can be more productive, patient, and healthier (I crave all kinds of things when sleep deprived!). I follow rules that make sense, and bend the ones that don't.
I'm just figuring out how to use this tendency to work on habits I've had trouble building. I need to convince myself that the activity is worthwhile. Its better if the benefit is more immediate and specific, not a vague "good for your career and promotion in 7 years" deal. Recently I've had several opportunities to talk about my work with others in and out of my institution. Truthfully? It was FUN. I loved talking about what I've done and what I want to do. I want to build collaborations and have more data to talk about. Just the act of discussing things with people has fired me up to really get moving on even the most tedious aspects of my job. When I'm floundering, I picture myself a year from now, presenting the findings to interested people and it actually helps. Its amazing to me, because I've been so blah about my work for a couple of years now, and I had no idea how to fix it.
The other area I'm trying (and still failing) to use this approach is with my eating habits. I think I just don't believe that avoiding xyz foods is necessarily better. And I don't get those miraculous bursts of energy from "clean eating" that others seem to get. I feel...the same...only hungry & deprived. And weight loss for me has been pretty arbitrary---I lost weight last fall/winter eating without watching my diet, and gained it back eating the exact same things as far as I know. When I was having issues with IBS last summer, I did the FODMAPs diet. Avoiding certain foods really helped, and I've never gone back (chick peas in my salad, stone fruits, cherries, apples---I miss them, but not enough to endure painful cramps for hours). I know that if I found some way that avoiding cheese puffs, fancy cheese and booze tangibly improved my current life, I could do it. Until then, the momentary pleasure wins out. Of course the answer is to never bring those items home. Last night G proudly brought home a 6 pack of fancy beers and a wedge of manchego.
Do you know your tendency? Does it help you make better habits? Tips for not eating that cheese and drinking that beer?
After a few weeks spilling over with fun and excitement, we all heard a big THUD as we landed back into reality this morning. We went to my sister's Saturday, celebrated the 4th of July, and were back on the road Sunday AM to sit on the highway for hours like the suckers we are. We did get off the highway and made it home eventually, not without a puking incident.
I am exhausted, even after 9 hours of sleep last night (I crashed soon after the kids did!). I had a well-planned to do list and great intentions, but things are moving slooowwwlllyyy in my head.
We did enjoy the rest of our time away from the kids. Thursday night we went out to dinner at a lovely Greek BYOB where we sat in the most charming courtyard full of flowers and birds and fireflies. The service was slow and relaxing; when it started raining we all just got a bit wet, until the waiter came and opened a little overhang and we moved our tables under it and continued eating. I probably ate and drank too much (reminder---do not order the fried cheese appetizer), but I slept it off. Friday morning I checked out the "barre body" class at the gym---whoo! I loved it, though my legs hated me! Then G & I went for a bike ride. I wanted to see if I could handle a bike commute so we drove to my work. I was initially terrified, since its been about 9 years since I've gotten on my bike, and I've never driven down city streets before. I got the hang of it, and after a couple more practice rides I think I'll be ready to do it! It'll save me about 20-30 minutes/day in commuting.
We weren't sure how to spend the rest of Friday. G wanted to watch a movie at home, but then we decided that was boring. We couldn't go watch a movie, because of timing with dog-walking and picking up the car rental. We decided to go have a drink somewhere and turned around after 2 blocks because neither of us really felt like it. So we came home and worked on a (wait for it...geek alert) 1000 piece puzzle and had beer. It was relaxing! We picked up the car, got groceries, picked up Chipotle and got back to our puzzle. By the time we left Saturday morning, we had done 90% of the puzzle!
Friday was relaxing and fun, but it was also when I really started to miss the kids. It was actually quite nice (amazing!!!) on the work days, to not have to swing directly into the second shift of cooking/cleaning/childcare. But on the entire day off, there were periods where I wanted to spend time with them.
The kids were happy to see us Saturday. Apparently they had a blast, behaved remarkably well, and never asked for us, not once. They certainly were saving up some tantrums for us because the "perfect behavior" ended within 10 minutes of us setting foot in the house. G and L napped after lunch while I "caught up" with B---he was telling me stories of the past few days, some of which made zero sense, but were based in some version of reality. We spent the fourth with my sister and her family, my parents, and some of my sister's friends who came over. We had too much food, lots of watermelon, smores, pie, ice cream, beer & wine, and fireworks on the driveway. We kept the kids up until 9:30, for the "big fireworks" that were supposed to start at 9:15 (and that you can see from the sunporch), but they never came and we put the cranks to bed, thinking it was canceled for the weather. Of course, they started at 10PM and various loud booms continued 'til after midnight, which meant no sleep for me.
So. It was nice without the kids, and nice to see them again, too. I guess having all that time reminded me of why we decided to have kids in the first place...because we wanted to share our lives with little people full of wonder and weirdness.
My parents took my kids to my sister's house yesterday morning. G and I are kid-free until we go get them on Saturday. Whoo hoo?
I was worried sick while they were driving on the highway. I made my parents text me every hour. We've gotten lots of texts and pictures of the boys playing with their cousins. We skyped last night and it was chaos. My poor sister! (but not really, they sent their kids over to our house last summer, for 4 nights). I miss them---their energy, curiosity, cuteness and snuggles. But I'm enjoying this break, too!
Wednesday: Work. Come home and take dog on walk together. Extend the walk to neighborhood wine bar and have drink and some snacks, sitting outside. Come home and collapse because its hot outside. Eat leftovers. Try to come up with something to do together, acknowledging that I had a headache. Decide to do our own thing. G watches loud, high-body-count, action movie and has bourbon and nuts. I watch 2 episodes of Gilmore Girls and have 2 glasses of wine and mainline almost an entire large bag of pirate's booty.
Thursday: Turn off alarm at 5:30 and miss workout. Get up at 6:45. G and I take dog on 3.5 mile run. Struggle---I haven't run in 6 months---but manage to keep up (G is very tall and I am short. it takes 2 of my steps to match one of his). Go to work.
And here I am! I'm hoping to leave early today, since G's work lets out at 3pm. I may meet him at a bar where he's going with colleagues for happy hour. We want to go out to dinner, but haven't picked a place yet. Tomorrow is a day off from work. We are planning to dust off our bikes and haul them up from the basement to try them out (its been about 8 years since I've ridden my bike; I was going to sell it and then decided that a bike commute would save me time). There is a barre class mid-day at the gym I also want to try out. We'll probably eat out for dinner again.
Saturday morning we leave bright and early to drive 3-4 hours to my sister's place to reunite with the boys and hang out at their neighborhood 4th parade & picnic. And then fireworks (if it doesn't rain)!


OAKLAND, Calif., May 12, 2015 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- The Alameda Health System Foundation (AHSF) has welcomed Michael Gomez, Teresa Deloach Reed and Elñora Tena Webb to its board of directors. The new board members bring more than a combined 70 years of management and leadership experience to the foundation, with backgrounds in public administration, higher education and finance. AHSF is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization whose purpose is cultivating community and financial support for AHS in order to continue its mission of caring, healing, teaching, serving all.
"We are excited to welcome Michael, Teresa and Elñora to AHSF's board of directors," said Debra Barnes, president of AHSF. "With their diverse career experiences, they each bring unique perspectives that will contribute greatly to the continued success of the foundation and AHS. Most importantly, their leadership has shown their personal investment in and care for our East Bay community."
Michael Gomez is a Director at Barclays where he manages the firm's California public finance business. During his 30 years in municipal and infrastructure finance, he has helped raise over $20 billion for public agencies and infrastructure companies throughout the western United States, Florida and Latin America, including over $3 billion for California county hospital projects. Before being named to the board, Gomez worked to help Alameda County finance the Acute Tower Replacement Project, currently under construction at Highland Hospital. Mr. Gomez has a BA in Latin American Studies and an MBA, both from Stanford University.
Teresa Deloach Reed currently serves as the City of Oakland's Fire Chief. Having served in a variety of fire department roles in her nearly 30 years of public service, she was named Fire Chief in 2012 and has the distinction of being the first African American woman to lead a metropolitan fire department in the country. Chief Reed sits as a voting member of the State Board of Fire Services and serves as president of the Alameda County Fire Chiefs. She is also a member of the Black Chief Officers Committee of the International Association of Fire Chiefs, the Metropolitan Fire Chiefs and California Fire Chiefs. She has a master's degree in public administration from National University and a bachelor's degree in organizational leadership from Mountain State University.
Elñora Tena Webb is President of Laney College, a community college located in the heart of Oakland. Dr. Webb previously served as Vice President of Instruction from 2005-2009 and as Dean of Humanities, Language Arts and Social Sciences from 2002-2005. In addition to her duties as president, she also serves in several other organizations including the American Association of Community Colleges (AACC), the Community College League of California's CEO board of directors, the National Council on Crime & Delinquency (NCCD) board of directors, the Oakland Chamber of Commerce board of directors, the Oakland Education Fund board of directors and as esteemed faculty with the University of California, Berkeley's Executive Leadership Academy. Dr. Webb completed her Ph.D. in education with emphasis on higher education administration policy at the University of California, Berkeley. She received her master's degree in educational administration from San Francisco State University and her bachelor's degree in liberal studies from the University of California, Riverside.


text:
Tuesday 21:00 on FOX
12 Seasons, 249 Episodes
Genre: Crime / Musical / Soap /
Forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan and cocky F.B.I. Special Agent Seeley Booth build a team to investigate murders. Quite often, there isn't more to examine than rotten flesh or mere bones.
Cast & Crew (1988)
Recaps & Reviews (225)
Fan Comments (8)
Bones Episode Guide
Watch Random Episode
Episodes 1...X
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Season 12 (12)
The End in the End
With Kovac still at large, the team searches for evidence to track him down. After Brennan experiences a setback, the rest of the team must ...
Watched Episode
The Day in the Life
In the series' penultimate episode, each leading character's final story begins to unfold. Brennan testifies for Zach in trial, Angela revea...
The Radioactive Panthers in the Party
When the burning, bruised body of an aspiring writer/director crash-lands onto a passing car, the team investigates a series of odd location...
The Steal in the Wheels
When a young man dies in a horrendous hay baler accident, Booth, Brennan and Aubrey slap on trashy disguises and go undercover at a rowdy de...
The Grief and the Girl
A recent loss creates a rift between Booth and Brennan, as they deal with their grief in different ways. Meanwhile, an old flame from Brenna...
The Scare in the Score
When a series of corpses with ties to Booth's former Army unit appear around D.C., Booth must dive into his past to find the killer before t...
The Flaw in the Saw
The dismembered body of successful golfer-turned-lumberjack Phyllis Paul brings the squints to the Lumber Sports Regional Championships. At...
The Tutor in the Tussle
When a tutor of privileged students turns up dead, the team sorts through all the possible perpetrators, from disgruntled parents to the tut...
The Price for the Past
The team investigates the murder of someone from Booth and Brennan's past. Meanwhile, Aubrey faces a moral dilemma of his own when he discov...
The New Tricks in the Old Dogs
When the body of an old man is found inside an acid dump site, Booth, Brennan and the squints find themselves deep in retirement home drama....
The Brain in the Bot
After discovering the body of a man involved with creating artificial intelligence bots, the team must figure out if the victim's own artifi...
The Hope in the Horror
Brennan has been kidnapped by her former assistant, Zack Addy, as Booth and the rest of the lab desperately search for her....
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The Nightmare Within the Nightmare
The team dives back into investigating a serial killer from the past, attempting to find "The Puppeteer," who lives with his victims' bodies...
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The Jewel in the Crown
The team investigates a body found at a glass recycling plant with a diamond lodged in its jaw. French Inspector Rousseau approaches the tea...
The Stiff in the Cliff
The Jeffersonian and FBI investigates when the remains of famous billionaire explorer Henry Charles are found in Antarctica. The team confir...
The Head in the Abutment
Bones and Booth investigate the death of a professional hockey player whose headless corpse was dumped in a river. Booth is reunited with a ...
The Movie in the Making
To produce a television segment on the Jeffersonian's Medico-Legal lab, a documentary crew follows Brennan, Booth and the Jeffersonian/FBI t...
The Secret in the Service
A drunk college student discovers the dead body of a Secret Service agent just before a presidential visit to the area. Booth is ready to hi...
The Strike in the Chord
The team investigates the death of the leader of the Lynwood University male acapella singing group, "The Whippersnaps," whose body was foun...
The Fight in the Fixer
The team investigates the body of a private investigator who was found frozen in ice, after being dumped in the Potomac. The victim, a man w...
The Last Shot at a Second Chance
The Jeffersonian investigates the murder of a convicted felon who had been released to a halfway house, but disappeared, and a suspect in th...
The Monster in the Closet
The Jeffersonian investigates the decomposing body of a social worker in the park, but evidence suggests the killer lived with the body for ...
The Murder of the Meninist
The team investigates a body found in a car crash, and the remains belong to a founder of a men's rights organization who may have been the ...
The Death in the Defense
Hodgins is eight weeks into his rehabilitation and forced to navigate life in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Brennan and Booth investigate the dea...
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The Doom in the Boom
The team investigates the murder of a police officer that sends shockwaves through both the Jeffersonian and FBI teams. Behavioral analyst L...
The Cowboy in the Contest
To solve a murder, Brennan and Booth go undercover at an Old West-style shooting competition, while Angela and Hodgins discuss the future of...
High Treason in the Holiday Season
The team investigates the high-stakes murder of a political journalist who was found dead after recently publishing an article exposing corr...
The Promise in the Palace
The team investigates the murder of an escape artist whose body is found in the woods. They discover that the victim worked at the Magic Pal...
The Senator in the Street Sweeper
A pair of funny sanitation workers discover the shredded body of a U.S. Senator in a street sweeper, which leads Brennan, Booth and the team...
The Resurrection in the Remains (1)
It's Halloween time at The Jeffersonian as the team gets a surprise visit from Lt. Abbie Mills and Ichabod Crane, who have traveled from the...
The Carpals in the Coy-Wolves
When remains of real estate agent Justin Ross are discovered in a forest and appear to have been destroyed by coyote-wolf hybrids, Brennan e...
The Donor in the Drink
On Brennan and Booth's first official day back at their respective positions at the Jeffersonian and the FBI, things get exciting when remai...
The Brother in the Basement
Another layer is added to the mystery of Booth's whereabouts and the state of his physical condition when the team discovers that FBI Agent ...
The Loyalty in the Lie
Six months after the events of last season, Booth, Brennan, daughter Christine and the new baby are seemingly living a dream life, a world a...
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Airs: Tuesday 21:00 on FOX
Network: FOX (US)
Premiere: September 13, 2005
Genre: Crime / Musical / Soap / Mini-Series / Drama / Comedy
A comedic look at four middle-aged people reconciling their dreams with their current personal and professional ...
Episode Guide | Watch Online
It tells the story of a little-strip-club-that-could and the characters who come through its doors—the hopeful...
Eli Roth's History of Horror
As part of the networks year-round AMC Visionaries documentary series, Eli Roth's History of Horror brings tog...
This limited series is based on the stranger-than-fiction account of a prison break in upstate New York in the s...
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


12.06.2018 - The strategies food and drink retailers can use to reduce their reliance on the material.
18.03.2016 - Madrid – Fashion label Wellness has launched water brand Dubai as part of its latest collection.
10.10.2014 - London – The newly opened bar The Shrub & Shutter is applying culinary principles to cocktails.


text:
Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis
W. Ian Montgomery*
In Focus: Edwards, P. D., Frenette-Ling, C., Palme, R., & Boonstra, R. (2021). Social density suppresses GnRH expression and reduces reproductivity in voles: A mechanism for population self-regulation. Journal of Animal Ecology, 90, 784–795. Intrinsic population processes are important in the regulation of populations of small rodents, including those which display multiannual cycles. By measuring reproductive parameters, faecal androgen metabolites, and gene expression and DNA methylation in the CNS of juvenile voles, this paper demonstrates that suppression of reproduction occurs in female voles at high density compared to low density in enclosures, and that this maternal, epigenetic effect is also apparent in their offspring. This suggsests that direct density dependence influences reproduction and, hence, immediate rate of population growth, while gene expression mediated by DNA methylation blocking transcription, may have a delayed density-dependent effect in juveniles. Both direct and delayed density dependence are necessary to generate multiannual population cycles. Edwards et al. (2021) break new ground in demonstrating the molecular and physiological basis of variation in population dynamics of small mammals ranging from multiannual cycles to stability that have fascinated researchers for nearly a century.
Journal of Animal Ecology
https://doi.org/10.1111/1365-2656.13458
© 2021 The Authors. Journal of Animal Ecology published by John Wiley & Sons Ltd on behalf of British Ecological Society
DNA methylation
multiannual cycles
reproductive suppression
10.1111/1365-2656.13458Licence: CC BY
Copyright 2021 the authors. This is an open access article published under a Creative Commons Attribution License (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/), which permits unrestricted use, distribution and reproduction in any medium, provided the author and source are cited.
Dive into the research topics of 'Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis'. Together they form a unique fingerprint.
rodent Earth & Environmental Sciences 100%
rodents Agriculture & Biology 79%
methylation Earth & Environmental Sciences 56%
gene expression Earth & Environmental Sciences 55%
voles Agriculture & Biology 53%
DNA Earth & Environmental Sciences 39%
maternal effect Earth & Environmental Sciences 38%
animal ecology Earth & Environmental Sciences 37%
Montgomery, W. I. (2021). Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis. Journal of Animal Ecology, 90(4), 780-783. https://doi.org/10.1111/1365-2656.13458
Montgomery, W. Ian. / Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis. In: Journal of Animal Ecology. 2021 ; Vol. 90, No. 4. pp. 780-783.
@article{be571cd90e5d4acfa4b70bea5d44ef38,
title = "Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis",
abstract = "In Focus: Edwards, P. D., Frenette-Ling, C., Palme, R., & Boonstra, R. (2021). Social density suppresses GnRH expression and reduces reproductivity in voles: A mechanism for population self-regulation. Journal of Animal Ecology, 90, 784–795. Intrinsic population processes are important in the regulation of populations of small rodents, including those which display multiannual cycles. By measuring reproductive parameters, faecal androgen metabolites, and gene expression and DNA methylation in the CNS of juvenile voles, this paper demonstrates that suppression of reproduction occurs in female voles at high density compared to low density in enclosures, and that this maternal, epigenetic effect is also apparent in their offspring. This suggsests that direct density dependence influences reproduction and, hence, immediate rate of population growth, while gene expression mediated by DNA methylation blocking transcription, may have a delayed density-dependent effect in juveniles. Both direct and delayed density dependence are necessary to generate multiannual population cycles. Edwards et al. (2021) break new ground in demonstrating the molecular and physiological basis of variation in population dynamics of small mammals ranging from multiannual cycles to stability that have fascinated researchers for nearly a century.",
keywords = "DNA methylation, gene expression, multiannual cycles, population, reproductive suppression, rodent, self-regulation",
author = "Montgomery, {W. Ian}",
note = "Publisher Copyright: {\textcopyright} 2021 The Authors. Journal of Animal Ecology published by John Wiley & Sons Ltd on behalf of British Ecological Society Copyright: Copyright 2021 Elsevier B.V., All rights reserved.",
doi = "10.1111/1365-2656.13458",
journal = "Journal of Animal Ecology",
Montgomery, WI 2021, 'Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis', Journal of Animal Ecology, vol. 90, no. 4, pp. 780-783. https://doi.org/10.1111/1365-2656.13458
Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis. / Montgomery, W. Ian.
In: Journal of Animal Ecology, Vol. 90, No. 4, 05.04.2021, p. 780-783.
T1 - Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis
AU - Montgomery, W. Ian
N1 - Publisher Copyright: © 2021 The Authors. Journal of Animal Ecology published by John Wiley & Sons Ltd on behalf of British Ecological Society Copyright: Copyright 2021 Elsevier B.V., All rights reserved.
N2 - In Focus: Edwards, P. D., Frenette-Ling, C., Palme, R., & Boonstra, R. (2021). Social density suppresses GnRH expression and reduces reproductivity in voles: A mechanism for population self-regulation. Journal of Animal Ecology, 90, 784–795. Intrinsic population processes are important in the regulation of populations of small rodents, including those which display multiannual cycles. By measuring reproductive parameters, faecal androgen metabolites, and gene expression and DNA methylation in the CNS of juvenile voles, this paper demonstrates that suppression of reproduction occurs in female voles at high density compared to low density in enclosures, and that this maternal, epigenetic effect is also apparent in their offspring. This suggsests that direct density dependence influences reproduction and, hence, immediate rate of population growth, while gene expression mediated by DNA methylation blocking transcription, may have a delayed density-dependent effect in juveniles. Both direct and delayed density dependence are necessary to generate multiannual population cycles. Edwards et al. (2021) break new ground in demonstrating the molecular and physiological basis of variation in population dynamics of small mammals ranging from multiannual cycles to stability that have fascinated researchers for nearly a century.
AB - In Focus: Edwards, P. D., Frenette-Ling, C., Palme, R., & Boonstra, R. (2021). Social density suppresses GnRH expression and reduces reproductivity in voles: A mechanism for population self-regulation. Journal of Animal Ecology, 90, 784–795. Intrinsic population processes are important in the regulation of populations of small rodents, including those which display multiannual cycles. By measuring reproductive parameters, faecal androgen metabolites, and gene expression and DNA methylation in the CNS of juvenile voles, this paper demonstrates that suppression of reproduction occurs in female voles at high density compared to low density in enclosures, and that this maternal, epigenetic effect is also apparent in their offspring. This suggsests that direct density dependence influences reproduction and, hence, immediate rate of population growth, while gene expression mediated by DNA methylation blocking transcription, may have a delayed density-dependent effect in juveniles. Both direct and delayed density dependence are necessary to generate multiannual population cycles. Edwards et al. (2021) break new ground in demonstrating the molecular and physiological basis of variation in population dynamics of small mammals ranging from multiannual cycles to stability that have fascinated researchers for nearly a century.
KW - DNA methylation
KW - gene expression
KW - multiannual cycles
KW - population
KW - reproductive suppression
KW - rodent
KW - self-regulation
U2 - 10.1111/1365-2656.13458
DO - 10.1111/1365-2656.13458
JO - Journal of Animal Ecology
JF - Journal of Animal Ecology
Montgomery WI. Molecular mechanisms of self-regulation in multiannual rodent populations: Experimental test of an updated hypothesis. Journal of Animal Ecology. 2021 Apr 5;90(4):780-783. https://doi.org/10.1111/1365-2656.13458


Have you always wanted to check "play an instrument" off your list? We can help!
The Na Maka O Pu'uwai Aloha Ukulele and Guitar program will give you a basic knowledge of your instrument starting with tuning, learning chords and strumming. Students will also learn how to pick, read music and play full songs.
We offer private lessons for both guitar and ukulele but group classes are available for ukulele only at this time. Placement is dependent upon skill level.
**To check class availability please call our business office at (808) 678-8884.


text:
use std::io;

use WriteRust;
use common::Spec;

pub struct MethodEnumWriter<'a> {
    spec: &'a Spec,
    has_lifetimes: bool
}

impl<'a> WriteRust for MethodEnumWriter<'a> {
    fn write_rust_to<W>(&self, writer: &mut W) -> io::Result<()>
        where W: io::Write
    {
        let lifetimes = if self.has_lifetimes { "<'a>" } else { "" };
        try!(writeln!(writer, "#[derive(Debug)]"));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "pub enum SpecMethod{} {{", lifetimes));
        for class in self.spec.classes() {
            if class.methods().len() == 0 {
                try!(writeln!(writer, "{},", class.pascal_case()));
            }
            else {
                let has_lifetimes = class.methods().any(|m| m.has_lifetimes());
                let lifetimes = if has_lifetimes { "<'a>" } else { "" };
                try!(writeln!(writer, "{0}({0}Method{1}),", class.pascal_case(), lifetimes));
            }
        }
        try!(writeln!(writer, "}} // enum SpecMethod"));

        try!(self.write_encodable_impl(writer));
        try!(self.write_payload_method_payload_impl(writer));

        Ok(())
    }
}

impl<'a> MethodEnumWriter<'a> {
    pub fn new(spec: &'a Spec) -> Self {
        let has_lifetimes = spec.classes()
            .any(|class| class.has_method_lifetimes());

        MethodEnumWriter {
            spec: spec,
            has_lifetimes: has_lifetimes,
        }
    }

    fn write_encodable_impl<W>(&self, writer: &mut W) -> io::Result<()>
        where W: io::Write
    {
        let lifetimes = if self.has_lifetimes { "<'a>" } else { "" };
        try!(writeln!(writer, "\nimpl{0} ::Encodable for SpecMethod{0} {{", lifetimes));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "\nfn encoded_size(&self) -> usize {{"));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "match *self {{"));
        for class in self.spec.classes() {
            try!(writeln!(writer, "SpecMethod::{}(ref method) => ::Encodable::encoded_size(method),", class.pascal_case()));
        }
        try!(writeln!(writer, "\n}} // match *self"));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "\n}} // fn encoded_size"));

        try!(writeln!(writer, "fn write_encoded_to<W>(&self, _: &mut W) -> ::std::io::Result<()>"));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "where W: ::std::io::Write"));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "{{"));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "unimplemented!()"));
        try!(writeln!(writer, "}} // fn write_encoded_to()"));

        try!(writeln!(writer, "\n}} // impl ::Encodable for SpecMethod{0}", lifetimes));
        Ok(())
    }

    fn write_payload_method_payload_impl<W>(&self, writer: &mut W) -> io::Result<()>
        where W: io::Write
    {
        let methods = [
            ("class", "::Class"),
            ("class_id", "u16"),
            ("class_name", "&'static str"),
            ("method_id", "u16"),
            ("method_name", "&'static str"),
        ];

        try!(writeln!(writer, "\nimpl<'a> ::ProtocolMethodPayload for SpecMethod<'a> {{"));

        for &(method_name, method_return) in &methods {
            try!(writeln!(writer, "\nfn {}(&self) -> {} {{", method_name, method_return));
            try!(writeln!(writer, "match *self {{"));
            for class in self.spec.classes() {
                try!(writeln!(
                    writer,
                    "SpecMethod::{}(ref method) => ::ProtocolMethodPayload::{}(method),",
                    class.pascal_case(),
                    method_name
                ));
            }
            try!(writeln!(writer, "\n}} // match *self"));
            try!(writeln!(writer, "\n}} // fn {}", method_name));
        }

        try!(writeln!(writer, "\n}} // impl ProtocolMethodPayload for SpecMethod"));

        Ok(())
    }

    fn write_protocol_method_impl<W>(&self, writer: &mut W) -> io::Result<()>
        where W: io::Write
    {
        // ProtocolMethod
        try!(writeln!(writer, "\nimpl<'a> ::ProtocolMethod<'a> for SpecMethod<'a> {{\n\
            type Start = connection::Start<'a>;\n\

            fn as_start(&self) -> Option<&Self::Start> {{\n\
                if let SpecMethod::Connection(ConnectionMethod::Start(ref start)) = *self {{\n\
                    Some(start)\n\
                }}\n\
                else {{\n\
                    None\n\
                }} // if let Some(Method::Start(start)) == *self\n\
            }} // fn as_start()\n\
        }} // impl ::ProtocolMethod"));

        Ok(())
    }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


Under the slogan "No one takes you into account, we made a bank for you", the Egyptian-Gulf (EG) Bank has released its advertising campaign for Ramadan, which attracted hundreds of people on social media. The campaign consists of six ads showing a young guy who is humiliated by his father in several ways. In the ads, the father kicks his sleeping son out of the home reception in order to host some friends, turns off the television while his son is watching a football match, humiliates his son in front of his girlfriend, and even underestimates him in a fight with a man in the street, calling him "a small kid".
At the end of each ad, the narrator states that the bank is the only institution to give prestige to those who are always disrespected and not valued.
With different scenarios between the father and his son, the common plot is always the father humiliating his son in a funny situation.
For ten days, the ad managed to catch people's smiles and comments, as they deemed it to be representative of the fact that many families pay no respect to their children.
Although the campaign managed to grab people's attention to the EG Bank and its new projects to support young people, it sparked waves of sympathy and criticism, as some people accused the advertisers of trying to make fun of an unhealthy relationship between a father and his son in a pathetic way, portraying it as a normal thing.
"I believe that different kinds of creative arts, especially ads, must not be considered an example to be followed by people in their everyday life," said Dr. Emad Soliman, a psychiatrist. "However, I believe that the media must shed light on the problems and violations that take place in society," he added.
In his opinion, watching such advertising campaigns will not influence the way which parents tend to deal with their children. However, he believes it may have an unhealthy effect on the way children and teenagers will see themselves.
"Such a campaign will recall the feelings of oppression and compulsion among teenagers, who will see themselves in the ads, which will remind them of the similar situations they have been through. This may lead them to feel more humiliated and oppressed, as it will reinforce their feeling of being rejected by the people closest to them," he added.
However, this was not the first time for an ad to portray a father humiliating his child. Two years ago, an Egyptian advertising campaign for one of the well-known potato chips brands was banned by the Consumer Protection Agency because it featured a father slapping his child violently.
The ad was accused of supporting domestic violence and reshaping it so that it seemed like acceptable behavior.


Ticket + booking fee /. £Advance ticket + after-party. Event admin /; lifeonearth · Update this event. Promotional links /; Bluey Robinson. Line-up /. Bluey Robinson, Rachel Chinouriri, Bento From Bermuda. A live music experience and after party event with Bluey Robinson and friends, in conjunction with LifeOnEarth. Overall, the show was good from a musical and engaging standpoint especially. Buy Justin Fletcher - The Big Party Live Show [DVD] from Amazon's DVD & Blu- ray TV Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.
LIVE Dance performances from sonam kapoor reception party Buy Justin Fletcher - The Big Party Live Show [DVD] from Amazon's DVD & Blu- ray TV Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. Ticket + booking fee /. £Advance ticket + after-party. Event admin /; lifeonearth · Update this event. Promotional links /; Bluey Robinson. Line-up /. Bluey Robinson, Rachel Chinouriri, Bento From Bermuda. A live music experience and after party event with Bluey Robinson and friends, in conjunction with LifeOnEarth. Jump to the beat with your friends on Sesame Street! Introducing an all-new, interactive show that unfolds on one of the world's most famous streets at the funniest, furriest party in the neighborhood get ready for Sesame Street Live! Let's Party!.


A sitter's response rate is a percentage of the messages they've responded to, from the total they've received.
You can find a sitter's response rate under the Credentials section on their listing. We regularly review sitter profiles and deactivate sitters with a low response rate. When you're browsing for sitters to contact, we recommend taking a look at their response rate and the response time listed right underneath, to get an idea of how quickly the sitter is likely to respond to your request.
Making a Direct Booking (Book Now) with a sitter is an immediate way to show that you need to book their services, so sitters have to accept or decline within one day. Enquiries (Send a Message) on the other hand, are not as firm a commitment, so sitters might take a little longer to respond.
Please note: sitters with no confirmed bookings will not have a response rate displayed.
If you need help finding a sitter at the last minute, don't hesitate to call us at 0333 344 1993 or email us at help@dogbuddy.com and we'll make sure to find you your perfect dog sitter in your area.


This excerpt comes from a new group study by D. A. Carson and Brian Tabb, published by The Gospel Coalition and LifeWay Christian Resources. The study builds on Carson's classic work on prayer, Praying with Paul: A Call to Spiritual Reformation (Baker, 2nd ed.). TGC previously published an excerpt from 2 Thessalonians 1:3-10.
2 THESSALONIANS 1:11–12: To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
If we adopt Paul's spiritual framework, his eternal perspective, and his practice of constantly thanking God for signs of his grace at work in our midst, what sorts of requests should we present to God? The opening phrase, "to this end" (ESV) or "with this in mind" (NIV) makes clear that Paul's petitions follow directly from his thanksgiving in verses 3-10.
Here Paul makes two worthy petitions for the Thessalonian church (v. 11) and spells out the ultimate goal of these prayers (v. 12).
First, the apostle constantly asks God to count these Christians worthy of God's calling (v. 11). The Bible sometimes uses "calling" language to refer to God's invitation to people who may refuse to come (Matt. 22:1-14). But Paul consistently speaks of God's effective call; that is, God truly saves those whom he calls (Rom. 8:29–30). God doesn't call those whom he counts worthy, but he calls unworthy people and then summons them to live according to their calling (Eph. 4:1). In praying that God would make these believers worthy of his calling, Paul is asking God to so work in their lives that they will grow up into Christian maturity. In a strange paradox, Paul is constantly telling people, in effect, to become what they are; that is, since we already are children of God because of his free grace to us in Christ, we must now become all that such children should be. God has graciously called us; now we must live up to that calling.
Our prayers often give us an honest and sobering window into what we truly value.
Do we regularly pray that God would make us worthy of his calling? For parents, what is our greatest priority for our children? Do we ask God to grant them good health and academic and professional success more than we pray that they would be transformed by God's power and grow into Christian maturity? To what extent are our goals as parents different from those our non-Christian neighbors have for their children? Our prayers often give us an honest and sobering window into what we truly value.
Second, Paul prays that God by his power might fulfill believers' every resolve for good and every faith-prompted work (v. 11). Elsewhere the apostle says that God "works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Phil. 2:13), but here he asks God to fulfill every desire of believers for goodness. These texts aren't at odds but rather express a profound and complementary truth that when people respond to the gospel of Jesus Christ with faith and repentance as the Thessalonians did, God begins to transform their desires, goals, ambitions, and activities. The person who previously pursued self-advancement and personal pleasure may have new desires to share the gospel with neighbors, to reach out to an acquaintance who recently lost a spouse, to start a Bible study in the workplace.
Paul expects Christians to formulate new purposes for good, but he also realizes that good intentions and properly directed effort are nothing without God's power. That is why Paul prays constantly for the churches. In 1 Thessalonians 1:3, the apostle thanked God for the Thessalonian believers' work of faith, labor of love, and steadfastness of hope. Here he prays that God would exercise his power to fulfill or "bring to fruition" (2 Thess. 1:11, NIV) all their desires for good and every work of faith. Unless God works in us and through us, unless God empowers these good purposes of ours, they will not engender any enduring spiritual fruit; they will not display any life-transforming, people-changing power.
Paul's prayer summons us to reconsider our personal agendas and priorities and also to pray that God would fulfill our good purposes and deeds prompted by faith.
In verse 12, Paul reveals the two-part goal of his petitions. First, Paul desires to see Jesus glorified in the church. As the Westminster Shorter Catechism says, "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever." The Christian's finest and highest longing is that Jesus be praised; yet so often we secretly clamor for our own praise and advancement. This danger is particularly harmful for those actively engaged in Christian service, even pastors. Paul Tripp writes, "Perhaps there is no more powerful, seductive, and deceitful temptation in ministry than self-glory." The apostle prays that the Thessalonian believers' increasing maturity and fruitfulness would occasion greater fame for their Lord and Savior, "when he comes on that day to be glorified in his saints" (1:10).
Paul's second goal is rather startling. "So that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him" (v. 12, emphasis added). Paul seeks the glorification of believers—but what does this mean? According to Romans 8:30, God glorifies everyone he calls and justifies. When we are finally glorified, all sin and decay will be removed, and we will enjoy the perfection of God's presence forever in the new creation. But even now, as we behold the glory of the Lord Jesus we "are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another" (2 Cor. 3:18). Thus, for believers to be glorified is to be made like our glorious Lord. According to 1 John 3:2, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." On the final day, the Lord Jesus will be glorified in us because of what we have become by his transforming grace, and we will be glorified in him because of what he has done for us.
To sum up: in 2 Thessalonians 1:11–12 Paul's eternal perspective and his regular practice of thanking God for signs of his work in other believers prompt his worthy petitions for the Thessalonian church. The apostle asks God to make these Christians worthy of his calling and to bring to fruition their ambitions and efforts for good. Paul prays to the end that Jesus would be glorified and praised and that believers would be glorified in Christ, transformed to be like their glorious Lord.
Session 1b — Praying with Paul (D. A. Carson) from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.


Worship 4 Today is a three-part course by Helen Bent and Liz Tipple to train and equip all who lead worship in the local church, whatever their level of experience. Immensely practical, Worship 4 Today offers a sound biblical, theological and liturgical background to worship. Begun in the Diocese of Sheffield in 2007, it is now widely recognised as an essential resource for the spiritual formation and the health and vitality of your church.


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Winter solstice: Today is the biggest night of the year coinciding with rare astronomical phenomena
Today at 07.02 EST (12:02 Greek time), the Sun will be in the winter solstice, and thus winter will officially begin throughout the northern hemisphere.
Written by E.Tsiliopoulos
Hypocricy: Yanis Varoufakis calls for the boycott of Amazon on Black Friday! (vid)
The secretary of MERA25 (Diem25), Giannis Varoufakis, calls for a one-day boycott of Amazon on Black Friday with his internet message.
Varoufakis decries Amazon's influence and its handling of workers through a video he uploaded to youtube.com, in which he calls for the one-day boycott. Although it's hard to see how this will affect Amazon, Mr Varoufakis insists that Amazon boss billionaire Jeff Bezos will get the message.
But whether you agree with Mr. Varoufakis, or not, he does not, however, explain why Amazon is one of the main distributors of his books. Mr Varoufakis does not boycott Amazon by refusing to have his books bring retailed by the corporation he is attacking.
Ankara did not like the EU sanctions resolution
Turkey today rejected a European Parliament resolution imposing sanctions on Ankara following a recent visit by Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan to the occupied northern part of Cyprus, calling it "out of touch with reality" and "blackmail". On Thursday, the European Parliament passed a non-binding resolution calling on EU leaders to "take action and impose severe sanctions" on Turkey, a move that is likely to boost support for France's bid to impose sanctions on Turkey at next month's EU summit.


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No 'business as usual' to open Annual Conference
Many Thursday morning donned burlap stoles and ashes as a sign of repentance for the church's stand on homosexuality.
The opening day of the 2016 New England Annual Conference session was anything but "business as usual."
The original schedule called for June 16 to begin with simultaneous clergy and laity sessions. In response to a call from many, including Conference leaders, who felt that the Conference could not just go ahead with "business as usual" after the mass shooting in Orlando, it was decided to begin by gathering everyone together.
Bishop Sudarshana Devadhar and Lay Leader Rene Wilbur had planned to address the body, when people began to approach the microphones.
The first to speak was Pastor Lindsay Flick, who serves Riverside UMC in Parsonsfield, ME. She spoke of her journey coming out and of the United Methodist pastor who told her at 13 she was going to hell.
Pastor Lindsay Flick
"So I stand before you all today, asking for truth," she said. "I am asking that we all quit pretending as though we are providing a healing witness. I ask that we stop pretending like our hands are clean in the spreading of hate, and in the oppression of GLBTQ people. I ask that we stop the white washing of all of our stories.
"… Our God calls us to love, and we have not provided that to some of the people who need it the most. We have failed to witness compassion to children of God. May God have mercy on us."
Then Flick announced that "In an act of repentance, we will offer burlap stoles and ashes."
"May this turning be the beginning of a witness we can be proud of," she said. "In the words of Bishop (Kenneth) Carter, 'I hope we can discover creative, pastoral and grace-filled ways to bear witness to all — including lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons — that together we are God's beloved children.' And I compel this New England Annual Conference that by 'all' we include our black and brown GLBTQ sisters and brothers. Amen."
At stations around the room, many donned the stoles and ashes before coming to the microphones to share their stories, their pain, and their frustration. Rev. Justin Hildebrandt asked if the bishop would be willing to wear a stole, and Bishop Devadhar, who said he had planned to, was joined by Wilbur and Bishop Violet Fisher in accepting stoles and ashes.
Margaret Sheffield, who serves West Scarborough UMC in Maine, said "I have been a member of this Annual Conference for 20 years, and I have never in all that time stood at a microphone to say the Book of Discipline is incompatible with a loving God."
During over two hours of discussion, there was more than one call for the Conference to step away from the denomination.
And for some clergy, the morning was an opportunity to come out. One of those was Rev. Vicki Woods, retired.
Rev. Will Green and Rev. Vicki Woods
"My name is Vicki Woods, and this is not the first time I've come to the mike at Annual Conference. But I stand for the first time to say that I, too, am incompatible with Christian teaching," she said. "I've been a district superintendent, I've been a delegate; I've been a faithful pastor, but if I told the truth, I've been harmed. I've had to sit here and pretend that I'm somebody else. Some of you will think that I've lied to you, but today you need to know I love the church, I preach the Gospel and yet in truth today I tell you that I am one of your incompatible Christians. I don't know what you want to do with me. Thank you."
Rev. Bob Sweet, retired, came to the microphone after the applause for Rev. Woods died down.
"Vicki Woods, where are you? That applause told you what we think about you," he said. "We know what we want to do with you, Vicki. We love you. We embrace you ..."
The Rev. Casey Collins, who serves Milford UMC in New Hampshire, said that she felt "20 pounds lighter" after deciding to come out Thursday morning.
"It's something that I've wanted to do for a long time and never quite dared," she said. "I was out at my last two congregations; the one I'm at now, not so much. But it's nothing I want to hide. And it's nothing I should have to hide."
Rev. Collins also praised Bishop Devadhar for being so supportive "and who actually put on the burlap himself, and praise God for that. Praise God for this supportive – for the most part – Conference."
When she came to the microphone, she introduced herself as someone who had been in the church even before she was born, as both her father and grandfather were United Methodist pastors.
Rev. Casey Collins
"My dad, who served this church, loved this denomination himself, would be so happy, I know," Rev. Collins said. "Thanks, Dad, for being there for me."
Rev. Woods, who admitted she was "scared to death" about coming out, said she hoped that people would not view her just in
the context of her sexuality after this.
"To do justice was part of my being willing to come out," she said. "It's grounded in my theology, my love for God and the church. The United Methodist Church is not acting like who we are, and I wanted that to happen. … maybe I could risk and be vulnerable in that moment for that sake."
Rev. Woods also said that she feared some in the Conference were feeling "shut out" of the morning's discussion.
"Some of them made a decision with their feet," she said. "I don't want everyone who thinks different to walk out. Please stay. Please tell us stories … that's really important.
But that was not the feeling that the Rev. Tom Bentum, who is an evangelical, shared when he talked about what he and some of his colleagues were experiencing.
"We didn't feel like there wasn't space for us to speak," said Rev. Bentum, who serves Gales Ferry UMC in Connecticut. "It wasn't that we couldn't speak, but we didn't know what to say, and didn't want to make things harder or worse. I think we did the right thing in not saying anything."
"We really have a heart for the pain that's going on here," said Rev. Bentum, "though we don't agree with the way it's expressed sometimes."
When asked how the thinks the Conference should move forward, Rev. Bentum said he would like to see the Commission being formed by the Council of Bishops be allowed to do its work.
"The hardest thing for me and some others who I spoke to is the way the Discipline is twisted to make an argument," he said, referring to people calling themselves "incompatible with Christian teaching."
"It's like setting up a straw dog," he said. "I think it's a balanced statement of seeing people of sacred worth, but not particularly in favor of choices of lifestyle or choices of behavior; there's a difference between who you are and what you do."
"It hurts me to think that (LGBTQ people) don't think I love them or don't care for them just because I don't agree with their choices," Rev. Bentum said.
Metro Boston Hope District Superintendent LaTrelle Miller Easterling said that she understood people were weary of hearing yet another call to repent.
"But if we understand the true meaning of the word repent, it means to turn away from an action and no longer do it," she said. "That's what we need to do as a denomination; that's what we need to do as a Conference; that's what we need to do as individuals. We must repent. It is time."
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From now until Friday 21st December, we're supporting 300 Blankets' Christmas Food Drive for Soul Kitchen's Christmas Food Drive at Braybrook Community Hub.
Soul Kitchen's aim is to provide nutritious meals and address social isolation by developing a positive and safe community and deliver needs based services to improve the health and well-being of individuals and families at risk or experiencing homelessness.
Foods most needed are: Pasta, crackers, rice, canned tomatoes, canned vegetables, oil, honey, tock cubes, canned tuna in springwater, pasta sauce, jam, vegemite, herbs and spices, dried noodles, long life milk. flour, salt, pepper, museli, milo, canned soups and stews.
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