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Mulled Whines
Sniggers With Attitude
Arrival of Amelie (8)
Arrival of Toby (9)
Big Sis in a Small World (50)
Devizes (25)
Her bedroom carpet's gone down today and Amelie's moving in...
I've got three days off work, two hundred boxes to fill, and one birthday cake to eat. By this time on Monday we'll still be living in chaos, but hopefully with a different view.
Posted by Unknown at 21:27 41 comments
They do say that you can't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Well, the good news is that I'm now fully qualified to dish out justice in the high courts of Kenya, because I've just bought a pair of MBT trainers...
They're posture-improving, buttock-toning anti-shoes from Masai Barefoot Technology, and they retail for about two hundred quid. Although I bought mine for £19.99 from a charity shop. And what's more, the Barefoots have barely been worn. So the previous owner obviously thought they were rubbish.
I didn't let that put me off though. After all, the chances of a well-heeled chap simply choosing to give away his £200 shoes within a week of buying them, seems slim. I prefer to think that they were donated to charity by his widow after he fell under a bus the first time he tried to walk in them.
Either way, the discovery of a pristine pair of MBTs in my size for under twenty quid was too good an opportunity to miss, so I put my best foot forward and snapped them up immediately. And the best thing is that it was all for charity. It's like I'm doing a sponsored walk every time I wear them.
I must admit, I rarely publish photos of my parents here. And if you knew what they looked like, you'd understand why. But just occasionally I come across a pictorial likeness so uncanny that it simply has to be shared. So for the benefit of anyone who's ever stared at my face and tried to form a mental image of what might have created me, here are my Mum and Dad...
You can see the family resemblance. That's my Mum on the left, obviously. My Dad's the darker character on the right. Which, if you've ever heard his views on the last Labour government, will come as no surprise whatsoever.
Anyhoo, those pictures were drawn yesterday by Amelie. Possibly after sniffing the calamine lotion. She was sitting on my knee when she suddenly announced that she wanted to "draw a picture of Da". I should explain that she always calls my parents 'Ma & Da', presumably because she doesn't think the 'Grand' bit is appropriate.
I handed her a piece of paper, and she immediately drew the portrait on the right. At which point she said "Draw picture of Ma!", and produced the one on the left. At the time I thought they were just random scribblings, but half an hour later, by which time I'd scanned them for posterity, Amelie came up to the computer where I was cropping the drawing on the right. She immediately pointed at it and cried "Da!!". Clearly those features are unmistakable.
Day 4 in the plague house, and that face isn't getting any easier to love...
Even her clothes are coming out in spots. The choice of that top was what you might call a rash decision. We thought it might distract the eye from her skin. In reality she just looks like she's naked.
Anyhoo, the sores, like her parents, are weeping most of the time, but Amelie's still remarkably cheerful. Unless, of course, you take her to a curtain shop. With Lisa continuing to feel rough, I decided to risk taking Amelie's disease into the community this morning, by walking her into town to buy some bedroom curtains. Obviously I didn't want to draw attention to her hideous face, so when she refused to wear a bag over her head, I decided instead to take the backstreets to Western Road, in the hope that no one would notice her.
It worked. Right up until the moment she threw a major tantrum in Linens Direct because I wouldn't let her run down the aisle wearing a curtain sample. She ended up screaming at the top of her voice in the middle of the shop, while the store manager stood three feet away, shaking her head and tutting. For a professional blind woman, she did an awful lot of staring. As did the other customers. Frankly it's a miracle no one called social services. Or offered us some Clearasil.
But amongst the tears and anguish (and that's just me), there has been the occasional touching moment. And I don't just mean when she scratches her sores. Amelie caught sight of herself in the bedroom mirror this morning, and having taken in her appearance, she immediately said "Face dirty!" and tried to wipe off her spots. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I'd have wept buckets, but Lisa was throwing up into it at the time.
Blog post 2001: A Face Oddity...
I felt a bit better this morning until I saw Amelie's poxy little face. Three months later and she'd have the perfect look for Halloween.
After seven years of nonsense, I've finally stumbled my way to my 2,000th blog post. The "quite staggering inanity" (Western Mail, 30/10/06) of Mulled Whines now runs to more than 700,000 words. You wouldn't believe how long that takes to open in Microsoft Word. I thought my computer had crashed. Anyhoo, I've essentially written seven novels, but without being paid. Which is the only thing that separates me from JK Rowling.
Obviously I'd love to have something earth-shattering to write about on such a momentous occasion, but as luck would have it, both Lisa and I have gone down with a mystery illness today. In fact, I'm typing this to the sound of Lisa throwing up in a bucket. If I didn't feel so rough myself, I'd be filming it and posting it on YouTube.
As it happens, we were both fine first thing this morning, but as Lisa began to bring up her breakfast to the Jeremy Kyle theme tune, I was seeing my first patient on the other side of town, and starting to feel ill myself. By mid-morning I had a splitting headache, and by lunchtime I was too nauseous to eat. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Frankly the only thing that got me through the day was the fact that the clinic where I was working has its own pharmacy. I've spent most of today's wages on industrial strength painkillers and anti-queasiness pills.
Needless to say, neither of us are in a fit state to look after Amelie, so if things don't improve soon, she'll be applying her own calamine lotion. Of course, it's possible she's given us both shingles, but as this blog hits the two thousand mark, there's probably a more likely explanation...
I think it's the millennium bug.
A POX ON YOU!!!
Yes, don't let the happy-go-lucky smile and laissez-faire hair fool you - Amelie's got chickenpox. And she seems remarkably cheerful about it. Although I slightly regret telling her that she's a poxy little child...
I think she took it the wrong way.
Anyhoo, from the moment we woke up this morning, Lisa and I have been seeing spots before our eyes. She had one on her hip, a few on her chest, and what looked like a love-bite on her neck. Frankly she looked like a teenager with no money for Clearasil.
By the time I got home from work today, the rash had spread over her shoulders and started appearing on her back. The spot under her left ear is particularly nasty. And if you look closely at the photo above, you might just see the one above her lip. That'll teach her to kiss her cousin.
But the good news is that Amelie's first major childhood disease seems to be agreeing with her. She couldn't stop laughing when I got home this evening. So she's either very happy and feeling fine, or delirious and about to slip into a coma. But the good news, according to Wikipedia, is that "chickenpox is rarely fatal". Which is enough to reassure anyone.
On the subject of the ill and insane, one of my patients today was concerned about my working conditions, and asked me if I have to spend all day doing eye tests and taking photos in a dimly lit room. When I replied that I do, she sympathised, and said "Do you feel like a pit pony?". I said "No thanks, I've only just had lunch".
I do like to run my clinics like sitcoms if at all possible.
King Kong, eat your heart out...
I think I need to scramble some bi-planes before she gets her hands on my sellotape.
Anyhoo, with Amelie climbing the furniture and Lisa climbing the walls, I've spent the day at Horsham Hospital. I considered filming my journey there, but in the end I couldn't be bothered to get up five minutes earlier just to clean my car windscreen. I wished I had though, because driving through Cowfold this morning, I found myself stuck behind a camper van which had a canoe on the roof, and two stickers in the rear window which read 'I've been to Ullapool' and 'I ♥ SEX'. Which is handy as there can't be much else to do in Ullapool.
Between the two was a picture of the Loch Ness Monster. Which brought to mind one of my favourite jokes: "What comes between fear and sex?". The answer, of course, is "Fünf". Although I'm not sure that really works in writing.
Frankly I'd be better off leaving it to my patients. A chap this afternoon was telling me about the house he's lived in for thirty-two years. He said it's perfect in nearly every way, and the only problem he has is that he's regularly woken up in the morning by birds. He then paused for a moment, before adding "Sadly of the feathered variety".
It's Amelie out on another Gardner Family Fun Day!
It's basically the same as the last one, but this time she's armed.
Anyhoo, our day out in Burgess Hill yesterday was actually very nice. Which is probably the first time those words have ever been written. Admittedly, the amount of time we actually spent together as a family was limited to about fifteen minutes, but that's what happens when you sit down at an AA convention, the first speaker takes to the stage, he begins to share his experience, strength and hope, and Amelie promptly announces to the entire hall that she "Don't like it". Repeatedly, and in a loud voice.
Mind you, it could have been worse. Lisa handed her a cuddly duck to keep her quiet, not realising that she'd chosen the one that quacks loudly for thirty seconds the moment you press its tummy. I almost had to jump on it like a hand grenade and throw it out of the window.
Unsurprisingly, Amelie and I left after about five minutes before we drove everyone to drink. There were three sessions to the convention, each lasting between an hour and ninety minutes, so we returned at the end of each one for coffee, lunch and quality time with Mummy, but other than that, Burgess Hill was our oyster.
And what an oyster it was. Admittedly you're more likely to find 9ct gold than pearls, but they do have a steam train in the high street...
The shop on the left may only sell brown paper, but they've got one heck of a window display.
On top of that, Burgess Hill is the only town I know that caters for people who want their living rooms to look like the inside of a betting shop...
I expect their carpets are sticky and the chairs smell faintly of tobacco. If you click on that photo, you'll see the reflections of me and Amelie in the window. I'm the one with the bulging stomach (which is what happens when you deal with your stresses by eating a whole tub of Haagen Dazs on a Saturday night), and Amelie's the one swigging juice from a bottle. I had to buy her that from Wilkinsons after she threatened to blow up the Martlets Shopping Centre using the power of her voice alone.
Having explored the town centre during the morning, Amelie announced that she wanted "Chips!" and "Cola!" for lunch (I've no idea where she learns these words), so we decided to eschew the barbecue in favour of a trip to McDonalds. I've never seen a toddler so happy. She's only 21 months old, and she can already point to a menu and shout "Burger!". It was the only part of the day when she stopped saying "Don't like it".
With Lisa safely returned to the convention, Amelie and I set off in the car, in the hope that if I drove around for a bit, one of us might fall asleep. Fortunately the plan worked, and better still, it wasn't me. Whilst awake at the wheel, I noticed signs to the Bedelands Nature Reserve, so I decided to follow them, in the hope that we'd arrive at a tranquil beauty spot where Amelie could nap for an hour by a babbling brook (and I don't mean Kelly). As it transpired, we ended up at the ground of Burgess Hill Town FC. I don't know what they're doing playing football on a nature reserve, but they probably wipe out an endangered species every time they enter the penalty area.
Anyhoo, the 14th West Sussex AA Mini-Convention closed at 4pm. Much like the nearby Waitrose. So having popped in for some essentials, Amelie and I collected Lisa, and the three of us returned home relaxed, de-stressed, and with a new positive outlook on life.
A feeling which lasted right up until the moment we walked through the front door and found that shortly before leaving that morning, Amelie had shut the door to the cupboard where Chloe keeps her litter tray. Thereby forcing her to use the hallway as a toilet. A fact I discovered only after I'd trodden it all down the hall and into the living room. Nothing says 'Gardner Family Fun Day' like getting down on your hands and knees with a bucket of disinfectant, and scrubbing cat poo out of the carpet. Where's that Carpetright Slate when you need it.
Lisa and I went to Carpetright again yesterday, and after running our fingers through a pile of carpets, and studying an interior design colour wheel we printed off the internet (which I still don't fully understand), we eventually chose the one on the left for our bedroom. They call it 'Slate'. I call it Elephant Grey. We chose it partly because it's a nice neutral colour which should go well with our walls, but mainly because it has excellent stain-resistant qualities. So after Amelie's broken into the bedroom with a beaker of Ribena, we can easily wipe the slate clean.
Anyhoo, the carpet's slated to arrive in a week or so, but I'm hoping we can get it fitted sooner, so that we can put the bed back and I can have a lie down between jobs. I spent half of yesterday putting together one item of flat-pack furniture, and frankly I'm knackered. I don't think I'm suited to DIY. I prefer other people to do it for me.
We got quite a lot done yesterday (you can barely move in the Marie Curie shop for bags of my stuff), but despite the list of jobs decreasing, the stress levels started to rise. So in an impulsive act of possible foolishness, we've decided to throw caution to the wind and cancel all our plans for today. And that includes the shopping. I'll be living on cat biscuits and baby food by tomorrow.
So instead of slaving away at the coalface of stress, we're putting everything on hold for a day, and getting away from it all in Burgess Hill...
Lisa was attracted by the phrase 'Familes Welcome'. I preferred the words in pink.
Well, as it turns out, I don't have leukaemia. My doctor phoned me for a telephone consultation this morning (which is about as modern as they can get without actually posting test results on Twitter) and it seems it was all just an elaborate ploy to worry me unnecessarily for three days.
Apparently, when I had the first blood test five weeks ago, my white blood cell count was 3.1. It's now 3.4. The normal range is between 4 and 11. So whilst it's still low, it's not as low as it was, and it's edging slowly towards normality. As my doctor said to me this morning "If it's ok with you, I don't think we'll worry about it at the moment". I considered the proposal, and agreed. She admitted that it could just be a side-effect of living with a dodgy prostate, and suggested I have another blood test in three months time to see how things are. So if someone could remind me in October, I'd be grateful.
In the meantime, I've finished fusing obscure American rock with arcane British electronica, and adding it to a dull, drizzly drive in Sussex. So here's the result...
I encountered some kind of alien abduction attempt in Freshfield Road, and the electromagnetic forcefield from the mother ship played havoc with my camcorder, so there's a bit of interference after 34 seconds. It's just a shame it didn't come at 6m 30s when I crossed the solid white lines in the centre of the road. I wouldn't have minded something obscuring that.
Anyhoo, the video's only been on YouTube for a few hours, but it's already attracted some avid viewers...
If you're wondering, those are cat's eyes in the middle of the road.
One of my patients this morning told me that I have "a good voice for instruction". I was immediately tempted to do my Gary Coleman impression, but her surname wasn't Willis, so instead I thanked her for the compliment, and then asked her what the heck she meant. She replied that I have the kind of voice that makes it easy for others to follow directions. Which makes me wonder why Amelie won't do a single thing I say. She then added that my voice is "very clear and perfect for instruction". So I told her to shut up and let me take the photos.
But whilst pondering whether to apply for part-time voice-over work, or simply become a dominatrix, I headed into Crowborough town centre at lunchtime (I was working at the hospital there - I didn't make the trip specially), where I bought some buffalo burgers. No, really. And I thought they only ate filet mignon in Crowborough.
I cooked them when I got home, so for the benefit of anyone who's never tasted buffalo, I can exclusively reveal that they tasted like... well, like beefburgers really. But with the bitter aftertaste of having cost twice as much. I probably should have served them with mozzarella. And then washed my hands in a bison.
Anyhoo, fans of prog-rock will be pleased to know that I filmed another road movie today. It's a lot like the East Grinstead one, but with a twist ending. Namely that I end up in Crowborough. Unfortunately I'm still struggling to mix the audio track (it's not easy combining rock with electronica), so it'll have to wait till tomorrow.
I'm too exhausted and busy to write a blog post tonight, so instead here's an old article from The Washington Post...
"It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15". That explains why we're half an hour late for everything.
She's got a cat stool on the left, a sheep stool on the right, and she's choosing to sit in her toybox...
She's basically caught between two stools, and needs to start thinking outside the box.
But fortunately I have something to take my mind off the vast sums of money I've foolishly wasted on hand-crafted wooden toddler furniture, because I phoned up for the results of my latest blood test today. Back on June 18th, shortly before sitting a grading exam at work, I was told that in addition to chronic prostatitis, I now have digital arthritis and a low white blood cell count. Frankly, for someone who hasn't taken a day off sick in more than a year and a half, there's an awful lot wrong with me.
So I was told to have another blood test in a couple of weeks time, which I duly did last Tuesday. I'd have mentioned it at the time, but I had a sofa so good I just had to photograph it.
By pure coincidence, I was due to take another City & Guilds exam at work today, so I decided it would be the perfect time to phone up for my latest results. After all, I passed the last exam, so getting bad news obviously spurs me on to success.
Anyhoo, according to the receptionist I spoke to this afternoon, the official result of my blood test is "The doctor needs to speak to you". I'll find out more at 9:50am on Friday. So I hope I've got more than forty-eight hours to live.
Oh, and I passed the exam. I should have tried this with my A-levels.
Woo-hoo! After years of sailing close to the wind, my boat has finally come in...
Well, I say boat. To be honest it's more of a dinghy. I've just won £25 on the premium bonds. Which is an achievement, as when I bought them, the minimum prize was £50. It's what they call the law of diminishing returns.
I've had £1,000 invested for five years now, and I've won a total of £75. I'm not sure what rate of interest that equates to, but I think I'd do better on the lottery. I'm off to buy twenty-five scratchcards.
Posted by Unknown at 18:25 491 comments
If there's one thing I've learnt about life, it's to expect the unexpected. One moment you're filming a nice video of your cat sleeping peacefully on a chair. The next, this happens...
I think I'm living in some kind of surreal fairytale world where Red Riding Hood has taken up plumbing, and my cat's the Big Bad Wolf.
Anyhoo, she might be driving me around the u-bend, but Amelie's not the only one plunging at the moment. Her neckline is too...
It's hair up and dress down in the Gardner household today. Lisa's given Amelie a cute little ponytail. It makes it a lot easier to spot chickenpox on the back of her neck.
On that subject, if your poxy little family is infected with a highly contagious herpes virus, there are basically two courses of action open to you. Either you can lock yourself indoors and impose strict quarantine conditions until it passes, to avoid spreading the disease amongst the vulnerable. Or you can head straight out to a large social gathering and spend two hours in a confined space with dozens of people, in the hope of wiping out half of Brighton. Lisa and I opted for the latter.
One of my work colleagues got married yesterday (having previously been married to her job), and as luck would have it, we were invited to the reception party in the evening. We responded by inviting Lisa's Mum around here to babysit, and she in turn invited a friend of hers over to keep her company on the sofa. And I thought it was only teenage babysitters who did that.
The invitation stated that the party was to take place "from 6pm", so I suggested we arrive at about quarter past, so as not to miss any free food on offer. Lisa responded by telling me that I know nothing about weddings, and that no one would get there before seven-thirty. It turned out she was wrong. And I'd have told her so, if I hadn't been so weak with hunger.
So while the rest of the medical photography department were snapping up shots of whisky and dissecting slabs of cake, Lisa and I were struggling to get Amelie to bed over the sound of two pensioners reminiscing about the good old days. We eventually rolled up to the venue about eight. By which time the sausage rolls had rolled off the tongues of the guests, and straight down their throats.
But it wasn't an entirely wasted journey. The party was held at the 'Latest Music Bar' - an oddly named venue, as most of the songs they played dated back to the 70s - and within five seconds of walking through the door and announcing myself as a party guest, I'd been handed a free glass of champagne.
Unfortunately I'd walked into the wrong party. The one we'd been invited to was downstairs. It's just a shame my colleague pointed out my mistake before I had a chance to help myself to their buffet.
As it transpires, YouTube's definition of a video which is no more than ten minutes long, is anything up to 10 minutes and 59 seconds. Which is useful to know when you're trying to pare down a twelve minute film into something usable. In the end I had to cut out Woodingdean. Which is something I'd like to do in real life. Those crossroads are a nightmare.
Anyhoo, here's the finished version of yesterday's commute from East to West Sussex, crossing the leafier parts of the county, through Ashdown Forest and beyond. Frankly you can't see Woodingdean for the trees...
You can turn off the adverts for Emergency Glaziers and Sussex Coach Hire by clicking the little 'X' in the top right hand corner. Unless you've currently got a broken window in your minibus, in which case help yourself.
Anyhoo, while I was in East Grinstead yesterday, Amelie was spending the day with her three-year-old cousin, a boy she clearly fancies with a passion. Frankly she can't keep her lips off him. Which is perfectly legal under British law. It's when they start having children that we need to be careful.
But in the meantime, Amelie spent a few hours yesterday afternoon hugging her older man, giving him lovely kisses, and cuddling the boy against his will. All of which was charming and delightful, until we received a phone call in the evening from Lisa's sister to say he'd just gone down with chickenpox.
According to the NHS Choices website (which ironically I felt obliged to consult), "it takes 10-21 days for the symptoms to show after you have come into contact with the virus", so we don't yet know if the chickenpox has crossed the road and got to the other side of the family. But I'm taking no chances: I bought a bottle of calamine lotion at Asda last night.
I'd just like to point out that yesterday's blog post was brought to you by YouTube. You can blame them for the fact that it didn't appear.
I've been working in East Grinstead for most of this week, a schedule which involves lengthy, if leafy, commutes through the Sussex countryside. I was tempted to avoid them altogether by spending my travel expenses on a B&B for the night, but in the end I decided to inject some interest into the journey by sticking a camcorder on the dashboard and filming it. The journey, not the dashboard. I hoped to produce something along the lines of the BBC's 'London to Brighton in Four Minutes', but with the added chance of roadkill.
On the downside, it's not until you start filming from your car that you realise you're essentially just producing documentary evidence of all those electronic 30mph signs which light up when you break the speed limit. Never mind YouTube, I was expecting to see my video in a court of law. But that aside, I successfully produced a fifteen minute film yesterday which proved that even at four times the speed, the traffic at the Lewes Prison crossroads still doesn't move much.
A bit of editing later, and I set the footage to a rousing fourteen minute prog-rock song about England. No, really. I then went to upload it to YouTube. At which point I discovered that they don't accept videos more than ten minutes long. Which is discrimination against prog-rock if you ask me. So I turned to Blogger video. They do accept fourteen-minute films. But not if they're over 100MB in size. Mine was almost five hundred. I went to upload it to my main website, but that doesn't like files over 70MB. So I tried Tinypic. And that failed too. Possibly because it wasn't tiny. Or a pic.
So basically I ended up with a work of cinematic brilliance which I could only share with people if they were willing to come round to my flat and watch it in person. There was only one thing I could do:
Drive faster. And find a prog-rock song that's under ten minutes long.
The latter was obviously impossible, but I put my foot down this morning and filmed the journey again. I think I might have something usable, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow, because I need to go shopping tonight. And I'll publish the video of that trip on Sunday.
I was in the hospital library this afternoon, where I found this question being posed in the library newsletter...
I've seen a book on reflexology, so I know the answer to that, but here's the official response:
You can also get 'Carry On Matron' on DVD and look up porn on the internet. I expect. But that aside, I love the fact that the hospital library provides NHS workers with health-related novels. It's like giving David Cameron the box-set of 'Yes, Prime Minister'. Not that I have time for novels. I'm still reading the biography of Harold Shipman.
Anyhoo, the good news is that I now have two places to curl up with a good book. The three-seater sofa was so good that my Dad repaired the two-seater too...
I like to think of them as chair and chair alike.
On the downside, I took Amelie up to the new flat last night, and she informed me that she "Don't like it". To be fair, she's currently not liking all sorts of things, from milk, chicken and toast, to vacuum cleaners, puffer fish and GMTV. She still says "Hello News" every time Alistair Stewart comes on, and "Bye Bye Wheels" when we turn off the fan, but pretty much everything else at the moment is "Don't like it". She's like a bad-tempered focus group.
So she left me in no doubt about her lack of love for the new sofas, the curtains and the cushions I spent forty quid on. I even made the mistake of showing her the colours we're considering for the bedroom...
Needless to say, she don't like it. I can't wait until she shows me around her first flat.
I knew my Dad could do it...
That's not him on the sofa. It's Amelie's dance instructor. I'd write more, but I'm watching The Sex Education Show on Channel 4, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate.
After spending half the weekend crawling about on the new carpet with a screwdriver, a duster and a bottle of furniture polish, I've successfully turned the table's three parts into a gaping whole...
Although much like myself, the living room door's still completely unhinged.
In addition, I've investigated the quality of our three piece suite. Which is easy to do, as it's currently sitting in bits in the bedroom. Fortunately my Dad's going to put it back together for me. He's the son of a carpenter, which means that when it comes to furniture, he has the same healing qualities as Jesus. So I'm putting my faith in him, and hoping he can resurrect a couple of sofas.
In the meantime, I've done my best to soften the impact of all that work, by sorting out the cushions myself. The suite's original condition was just peachy, but Lisa and I decided that we'd rather use the spare set of covers that came with it. They're more of a magnolia colour, so the choice was between peaches and cream. We plumped for fat over fruit.
So I spent most of Saturday afternoon removing the old cushion covers and fitting the spares. Which led me to a further discovery. It turns out that the back cushions are all 100% duck feather. Which is appropriate because, as previously stated, they used to belong to a quack.
Anyhoo, if there's one thing the photo above demonstrates (apart from the fact that Amelie hasn't moved in yet), it's that we don't have any living room curtains. So having browsed the various online options yesterday afternoon, Amelie and I decided to hit the ground running, and walk into town. We ended up at Linens Direct, where we wiped our rusk-covered fingers on a range of samples, and chose a set of aubergine curtains from their 'Uno' range. They're not made to measure, so I hope they fiat.
From there we went to British Home Stores to look at scatter cushions. I'd previously decided that I'd be willing to pay as much as £5 per cushion. Which was a problem, as they were all either £10 or £15. I spent a few moments wondering why anyone would spend as much as £15 on a single cushion, before examining them, and finding out. Within thirty seconds I'd fallen in love with a chenille damson that I'd happily have paid the world for.
But as luck would have it, I didn't need to. Despite being part of their £15 'Premium' range, it was in the BHS sale for a tenner. So I bought four. I don't know what came over me. I'd never normally spend forty quid on soft furnishings without Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen holding a gun to my head. So I blame Amelie. I think she's driving me slightly insane...
All I said was "Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, take me to work".
I've been up at the new flat most of the weekend, doing hard labour with soft furnishings. Frankly it's curtains for that living room. And a blind for the bathroom.
So I'm taking it easy for a couple of hours this evening, and letting Amelie entertain the masses.
Oh, and I apologise for fluffing my lines at the start...
For 'take your bow', read 'exit stage left'.
Uruguay are through to the World Cup semi-finals, which is clearly good news for anyone hoping to make money as a Diego Forlan lookalike...
Thank God Ghana didn't score that penalty. I'm not sure she'd have blacked up for the camera.
Having seen twenty-seven patients today (obviously no one around here wants to watch the World Cup), I spent this evening up at the new flat, polishing our new dining table, and taking doors off their hinges so that I can get it into the living room. I then popped into Lidl, met one of the twenty-seven patients I'd seen earlier in the day, tried to avoid a conversation about eye drops, and finally got home at 9:40pm. At which point I washed my car before it got dark. Well, before it got darker. It's surprising how much energy you can get from a family-size bar of chocolate, three pieces of fruit loaf and half a Key Lime Pie. Oh, and the slice of cream cake I ate at lunchtime helped too. I should be diabetic in no time.
But anyhoo, it was worth visiting the new flat just to witness the fallout from Tuesday's towering inferno. East Sussex Fire & Rescue Service have put this leaflet through our letterbox...
Marvellous. Those working smoke alarms gave the occupiers the earliest warning of fire, allowing them to safely escape.
Or as The Argus put it in this article, "When fire crews arrived they found the trapped man hanging out of his window gasping for air. The man passed out from the severe heat and smoke inhalation and was taken to the Royal Sussex County Hospital".
If that's an early warning and safe escape, thank God he didn't leave it till the last minute. His ashes would be escaping in a vacuum cleaner.
The saxophone solo ended up lasting for three hours last night. I've never known a British Summertime to go on for so long. By five-to-ten I was so brassed off, I felt like marching straight over there and giving the man a new kind of woodwind by attacking his solar plexus with a baseball bat.
But fortunately I didn't need to. On the dot of 10 o'clock, the sax addiction ended. So I expect he's a fan of Desperate Housewives. He's certainly created a few, if my own reaction was anything to go by. The only thing that stopped Lisa turning to drink was the fact that she was out all evening at AA.
But on the subject of people who ought to apologise, Amelie appears to be developing a guilty conscience. In the past few days she's suddenly learnt to say sorry for every misdemeanor, so she's now shouting "Sorry Daddy" every time she shuts my head in the fridge, and "Sorry Mummy" as she looks at the bowl of food all over the carpet. Yesterday she even apologised for having a dirty nappy.
As of Tuesday, she's been saying sorry to Chloe for running her over with her buggy, but the biggest development is that she's now started apologising to inanimate objects. We've got a big desk fan in the living room, which Amelie calls 'Wheels', presumably because much like the wheels on the bus, it goes round and round, all day long. Yesterday she knocked it over whilst climbing on the coffee table to reach a remote control - an action which certainly deserves some kind of apology. Unfortunately she didn't direct it towards me or Lisa. Instead she cried out "Sorry Wheels", then picked up the fan, gave it a hug, and said "Cuddles". Frankly that thing gets more love than I do.
Phil Gardner
My name's Phil Gardner. I live in Brighton. And I look people in the eye for a living.
My other sites include:
Amelie Gardner
Toby Gardner
Bobby Macula
Telly Critic
Nina Gordon
PotsSecret
Mirkin Topp
Peter Marlin
Hopes & Bodies
And you can e-mail me here. Although you might not get a response.
A rose by any other name...
Kindle Version (US)
Jon the Bassist
Razor-Blade of Life
Captain Fargon
Crash & Donna
Burning Ears
Book-Look
Espresso Stories
University of Lyon
The Kemptown Rag
Her bedroom carpet's gone down today and Amelie's ...
They do say that you can't judge someone until you...
I must admit, I rarely publish photos of my parent...
Day 4 in the plague house, and that face isn't get...
Blog post 2001: A Face Oddity... I felt a bit be...
After seven years of nonsense, I've finally stumbl...
A POX ON YOU!!! Yes, don't let the happy-go-luck...
King Kong, eat your heart out... I think I need ...
It's Amelie out on another Gardner Family Fun Day!...
Lisa and I went to Carpetright again yesterday, an...
Well, as it turns out, I don't have leukaemia. My ...
One of my patients this morning told me that I hav...
I'm too exhausted and busy to write a blog post to...
She's got a cat stool on the left, a sheep stool o...
Woo-hoo! After years of sailing close to the wind,...
If there's one thing I've learnt about life, it's ...
As it transpires, YouTube's definition of a video ...
I'd just like to point out that yesterday's blog p...
I was in the hospital library this afternoon, wher...
I knew my Dad could do it... That's not him on t...
After spending half the weekend crawling about on ...
I've been up at the new flat most of the weekend, ...
Uruguay are through to the World Cup semi-finals, ...
Having seen twenty-seven patients today (obviously...
The saxophone solo ended up lasting for three hour...
Written by Phil Gardner
Read by Lisa
Enjoyed by Amelie
Cartoons by Camilla Eriksson
Attempted Sabotage by Chloe
Copyright (c) 2011 Mulled Whines. Design by Northern Scotland Joinery


Well after 15 days, my eGo-T electronic cigarette finally arrived. I bought it directly from the wholesaler for $32.75 from a website called DHgate which looks very similar to eBay which is where I got the link from. The e-cig came from China which is why it took so long to get to me. By the way, the price keeps changing, so you may not find it for the same price that I bought mine for. The other day it went up to $38 and now (as of this posting) it has gone down to $36.
I have seen a review of this model and found what a piece of crap it is because you don't get a strong hit from it at all which I find to be so true. I taste the flavors, which was the main reason for buying it in the first place, but not as well as I had hoped. I even shook it the way he does in the video and it's still underwhelming. For this review, search YouTube for "THE EGO-T FAIL" by user GrimmGreen.
When it arrived, I took it out of the box and looked at the cartridges that came with it. They all exploded so there was e-liquid inside the plastic of each individually wrapped cartridge. The smell was beyond nauseating. They sent me 5 cartridges filled with what they call Marlboro flavored e-liquid They also sent me 2 empty cartridges, but without caps. What good were those without the cap? As I was rinsing the first one out, I dropped the cap and guess where it went? Go ahead… guess. Yep, you guessed it, right down the drain. UGH!
After rinsing out all the cartridges, I smelled them and they still smelled like the e-liquid that they came with. I took one of the clean and empty cartridges and used one of the caps and you could still taste the gross "Marlboro" flavor instead of the sweet flavor I bought. I was told that sometimes it takes a few hits to get rid of the gross flavor before you get the taste of the new flavor. That ended up being true when I switched from the Zeus Juice to chocolate. When I switched it from chocolate to strawberry, I still tasted chocolate. I think the best thing to do is to get clean cartridges and dedicate it to that one flavor, which I did. I bought a pack of 10 empty cartridges from Amazon over the weekend and it shipped out on Monday, so hopefully they will come soon.
Earlier tonight I vaped some of the chocolate and took a sip of my iced tea and the chocolate flavor really came out more. I think that I will get a lot more out of it if I vape while drinking (before or after, not during). I know that sounds nuts, but so does a non-smoker buying an e-cigarette lol. I think that if I switched over to iced water while vaping, I might get more out of it than just vaping it alone. I'll be drinking what I should be drinking all this time, water, while still getting the flavor benefit which is what I wanted to begin with.
Even though this turned out to be more disappointing for me as a non-smoker trying to use it for the flavor, I still think it's an awesome idea for those smokers who want to quit smoking or just to make the switch.
I still recommend Zeus eJuice as opposed to buying the e-liquid at the cigarette store. My cousin Tabitha told me tonight that she saw a sign that said e-liquid was $8 for 10ML. Most would think that's not a bad price, but you could get a 30ML bottle from Zeus eJuice for $10.49. Now you tell me which is the better price. They also claim to have more flavor than other places that sell the flavors, so you get the taste and you save a ton of money. I think it's worth it.
Oh and for those interested, the LCD display shows me the battery and it shows a number. I found out that every time I press the button, the number goes up. I read the manual and it said that the battery is capable of 800 puffs a day, so I guess that will show you how many hits you took, but there is no way of resetting the number back down to 0 so you can start over the next day. I can only assume that you just keep going until it resets itself back to 0, then start over lol. My question is, who is that addicted to smoking that they would take 800 puffs a day? I mean, you would have to be a chain smoker who is just sitting there with it in your mouth all day long taking puff after puff. I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it. I have only taken 28 puffs today so I think I'm doing pretty good lol.


text:
package net.dries007.tapemouse;

import org.apache.commons.lang3.tuple.Pair;
import org.apache.logging.log4j.LogManager;
import org.apache.logging.log4j.Logger;
import net.minecraftforge.api.distmarker.Dist;
import net.minecraftforge.fml.DistExecutor;
import net.minecraftforge.fml.ExtensionPoint;
import net.minecraftforge.fml.ModLoadingContext;
import net.minecraftforge.fml.common.Mod;
import net.minecraftforge.fml.network.FMLNetworkConstants;

/**
 * Main mod file
 * @author Dries007
 */
@Mod("tapemouse")
public class TapeMouse
{
    public static final Logger LOGGER = LogManager.getLogger();

    public TapeMouse()
    {
        // Why oh why. Why can this not be a thing in the toml or @Mod like it used to be...
        //Make sure the mod being absent on the other network side does not cause the client to display the server as incompatible
        ModLoadingContext.get().registerExtensionPoint(ExtensionPoint.DISPLAYTEST, () -> Pair.of(() -> FMLNetworkConstants.IGNORESERVERONLY, (a, b) -> true));
        // Register client event handler only if we're on the client.
        DistExecutor.safeRunWhenOn(Dist.CLIENT, () -> ClientEventHandler::new);
    }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Q: Reading and Writing to a file simultaneously I have a module in written in System Verilog that dumps the contents of the SRAM into a file.  I would like to read from this file and use the data in a separate program written in python, but in real time.  I don't have much control over the writing from the verilog code. Is it possible to somehow manage the two read and writes? Currently when it reads from the file, there is a (seemingly) random number inserted at the start of every line and that throws off the parsing.  I assume these prefixes only appear when they are reading and writing at the same time because if I run them both very slowly it works fine.
window = Tk()
canvas = Canvas(window, width=WIDTH, height=HEIGHT, bg="#000000")
canvas.pack()
img = PhotoImage(width=WIDTH, height=HEIGHT)
canvas.create_image((WIDTH/2, HEIGHT/2), image=img, state="normal")

def redraw():
fp = open('test_data.txt','r')
lines=fp.readlines()
for i in range(len(lines)):
        #do stuff
fp.close()
window.after(35,redraw)

window.after(35,redraw)
mainloop()

This is what is reading.
Any suggestions are appreciated.

A: Reading and writing a file from multiple processes is likely to be unpredictable.
If you are running on a Unix-like system, you could use mkfifo to make a file-like object which you can write to and read from simultaneously and the data will stay in the correct order.
On Windows you need a NamedPipe - which you could create from Python and then connect to by opening as a normal file in SystemVerilog (I believe!)
http://docs.activestate.com/activepython/2.4/pywin32/win32pipe.html

A: I would suggest using VPI to directly access the contents of the SRAM straight from the simulation.  This also opens the possibility of dynamically adjusting your stimulus (e.g. sending data until a FIFO is full) rather than relying on files for input/output.
Since you're using Python you could look into Cocotb, an open-source Python cosimulation framework.  Basically you can use the python 'dot' notation to traverse the design hierarchy and pull out values:
# Pull out the values from the simulation
for index in range(len(dut.path.through.hierarchy.ram)):
    val = dut.path.through.hierarchy.ram[index].value.integer
    # do stuff

I created a quick example on EDA Playground with a simplistic example: http://www.edaplayground.com/s/57/565
Disclaimer: I'm one of the Cocotb developers.

A: You can use pipe, in this example a cmd (windows) command line writes in the pipe, then the program shows its output from the same pipe:
import subprocess,sys

p = subprocess.Popen("netsatat",shell=False ,stdout=subprocess.PIPE)
while True:
    out = p.stdout.readline()
    if out == '' and p.poll() != None:
        break
    if out != b'':
        print(out.decode('ascii','backslashreplace'))
    else :
        break;

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


Bon Iver is set to headline London festival All Points East next summer.
The East London event will return in 2019, following an acclaimed inaugural event at Victoria Park.
Running between May 24th and June 2nd, the 10 day event has just unveiled a series of very special additions.
Bon Iver will headline on June 2nd, with the set representing Justin Vernon's largest live show on British soil.
It's sure to be a highlight of the summer, with All Points East also naming a tantalising support cast.
New names for the bill include Mac DeMarco, First Aid Kit, John Grant, and Julien Baker, with Snail Mail, KOKOKO! and The Tallest Man On Earth all due to perform.
All Points East 2019 runs between May 24th and June 2nd.


text:
«Переві́зник» () — французький кримінальний бойовик, прем'єра якого відбулася в США 11 жовтня 2002 року. У фільмі в ролі Френка Мартіна знявся Джейсон Стейтем, який сам виконував свої власні трюки. Акторка Шу Ці грає Лаї Квай, кохану Мартіна.

Сюжет

Колишній спецпризначенець Френк Мартін живе тихим життям на узбережжі південної Франції, наймаючись «перевізником», який перевозить вантаж або людей із пункту А в пункт Б і не ставить запитань.

Він виконує ці загадкові й іноді небезпечні завдання у своєму BMW E38 735iL і слідує трьом суворим правилам, які він ніколи не порушує:
 Ніколи не змінюй умови угоди
 Жодних імен
 Ніколи не дивись, що везеш́
Нове «перевезення» Френка не виглядає нічим відмінним від інших нескінченних перевезень. Його наймає американець, відомий лише як «Волл-стріт». Усе починається, як звичайно, але потім Френк зупиняється на шляху, щоб змінити зіпсовану шину, і помічає, що «вантаж» ворушиться. Порушуючи правило № 3, Френк відкриває сумку і з подивом бачить у ній зв'язану жінку. Її звуть Лаї, і відкривши сумку, Френк став ціллю для вбивства.

Френк досить швидко порушує інші два правила і дізнається від своєї компаньйонки про нелегальну контрабанду людей, якою керує батько Лаї. У кінці фільму Френкові вдається перехопити контейнер, повний іммігрантів, а Лаї доводиться вбити свого батька.

Машина

У фільмі Френк Мартін досить точно ідентифікує свою машину як BMW 735iL 1999 року. У коментарі на DVD, Стейтем стверджує, що машина є BMW 750iL 1999 року з ручною коробкою передач і двигуном V12. Запалювання машини не працювало без введення тризначного коду на клавіатурі. Машину Френк втрачає на стоянці, коли люди Волл-стріта намагаються підірвати його. Натомість Френк забирає Mercedes-Benz W140 з гаража Волл-Стріта.

У ролях
 Джейсон Стейтем — Френк Мартін
 Шу Ці — Лаї Квай
 Метт Шульц — Деррен «Волл-стріт» Беттенкурт
 Франсуа Берлеан — інспектор Тарконі
 Рік Янг — містер Квай
 Дуг Ранд — Лідер
 Дідьє Сент-Мелін — Бос

Цікаві факти

 На думку багатьох фанів, фільм був натхненний короткими фільмами «У прокат з водієм BMW», де професійний водій Клайв Овен одягнений в аналогічний костюм.
 Усі сцени з використанням бойових мистецтв були виконані самим Стейтемом, який займався ними з дитинства.
 Назва фільму і первинні титри повільно матеріалізуються на екрані серед блискучих іскор, мабуть, нагадуючи глядачам про транспортерів із «Зоряного шляху».
 Багато фанів вважають, що Френк також є персонажем у фільмі «Співучасник». На початку «Співучасників» перевізник, якого також грає Стейтем, привозить дипломат Вінсенту, найманому вбивці.

Кіноляпи

 У першій сцені, коли машина йде від поліції в промзоні, у машини то відірване праве дзеркало заднього виду, то воно з'являється на своєму місці.
 У фільмі кажуть, що машина у Френка BMW 735 E38 1999 року випуску, але в 1998 році відбувся рестайлінг кузова Е38 (були видозмінені передні фари і задня частина машини, а також салон і деякі частини обважень) і дорестайлинговий перестали випускати. Однак у фільмі саме дорестайлінгової BMW E38. Якщо у Френка машина була саме 1999 р. в., То вона повинна була бути рестайлінгова.
 Сцена викрадення Френком «Мерседеса»: коли «Мерседес» пробиває фанерні ворота, грати облицювання радіатора все ще знаходиться на своєму місці. У наступному кадрі решітка вже перекошена.
 Сцена вибуху «дипломата» в машині Френка: якщо придивитися, то можна побачити, що центр вибуху знаходиться під днищем машини, тоді як «дипломат» з вибухівкою лежить на задньому сидінні.
 Після проколу заднього правого колеса він ставить запаску на штампуванні, а в наступному кадрі біля кав'ярні стоїть литий диск.

Саундтрек до фільму

Треклист:
 1. Boogie 2Nite — Tweet
 2. I Got Love — Nate Dogg
 3. Live Big (Remix) — Sacario Featuring Angie Martinez & Fat Joe
 4. Muzik — Knoc-Turn'al
 5. If I Could Go — Angie Martinez Featuring Lil Mo & Sacario
 6. Be All Right — Tamia
 7. Scream AKA Itchin — Missy Elliott
 8. Funny — Gerald Levert
 9. I'm Cool — Hustlechild
 10. One On One — Keith Sweat Featuring Lola Troy And Lade Bac (5:01)
 11. Bad Girls — 4Bidn
 12. Life Of A Stranger — Nadia
 13. Mission
 14. Transfighter — Replicant
 15. Fighting Man — Dj Pone & Drix
 16. Franck Tries To Leave

Див. також
 Перевізник 2
 Перевізник 3

Примітки

Посилання
 Подробиці сюжету

Фільми Люка Бессона
Фільми-бойовики Франції
Фільми-бойовики США
Фільми англійською мовою
Фільми про водіїв
Фільми Луї Летерр'є
Дебютні фільми режисерів
Фільми EuropaCorp
Фільми Canal+
Фільми про автомобілі
Фільми про викрадення людей
Фільми Франції 2002
Фільми США 2002

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


text:
Q: CreateProcessW failed 193 :flutter doctor
CreateProcessW failed 193
  Unhandled exception:
  ProcessException: %1 is not a valid Win32 application.

A: Change your user folder this C:\Users\Sanjaya Jena to this C:\Users\Sanjaya
Remove space from name of user folder(Sanjaya jena) and used the below youtube link to change your path name.
checkout this link https://superuser.com/questions/890812/how-to-rename-the-user-folder-in-windows-10

A: you need to install the latest version of the android build tools, 29.0.2 in my case
https://androidsdkmanager.azurewebsites.net/Buildtools: download the latest,
extract the folder android-10 and paste in your directory
C:\Users[your user name]\AppData\Local\Android\Sdk\build-tools or
[your android studio directory]\Sdk\build-tools
rename the folder to the version you downloaded
e.g. 29.0.2 in my case
latest build pasted and renamed to 29.0.2

A: This is probably because your user name contains a space

*

*https://github.com/flutter/flutter/issues/15481

*https://github.com/flutter/flutter/issues/18938
It might also be a certificate issue

*

*https://github.com/flutter/flutter/issues/15014,

A: The problem is probably caused by spaces in the path of the flutter SDK.
I got around this problem by copying the SDK to another location without spaces in the name ex. C:\Users\Public\flutter and changing the flutter SDK path setting in Android Studio to the new path.


text:
Q: Float type field in Model while automatically created in database as real type? Iam using mvc4 .I have a model .In that model i created a field called  "AllFuels" of data type Float.
But when the table automatically created in the database the data type of the field  "AllFuels"  is real.Iam using model first method .Can anyone know the reason why this is happening?
public float AllFuels { get; set; }

But this field in the table created as real datatype.

A:
... why this is happening?

Well, that's easy - because this is the mapping that is programmed into EF.
Does it matter?
Look at the following:

*

*SQL Server BOL: float and real (Transact-SQL):

*

*-3.40E + 38 to -1.18E - 38, 0 and 1.18E - 38 to 3.40E + 38

*4 bytes storage

*The ISO synonym for real is float(24).

*7 digits precision

*float (C# Reference)

*

*-3.4 × 1038 to +3.4 × 1038

*7 digits precision

*32-bit storage (4 bytes)

So the "approximate range" † is the same for both, as is the storage amount: they are both 32-bit floating binary point types. The annoying thing is that .NET float is not specifically mentioned in the BOL reference for data type conversion, which makes it hard to quickly look this up ‡.
In addition, Edm.Float is listed in the Edm data types (MSDN: Conceptual Model Types (CSDL)) as a floating point with 7-digit precision, so that matches up with float in .NET and real in SQL server (CSDL is the XML language that describes entites, relationships etc. and is used by EF).
So what should I do?
What do Microsoft say about floating point in ADO.NET? If you read: MSDN - Data Type Mappings in ADO.NET (Floating-Point Numbers) they say "test". So do that, and if this precision is not enough for you, then your .NET type needs to be a double instead, which should become a higher precision type in SQL Server (it would translate to float(53), I believe)

† I couldn't quickly find the IEEE reference, so I will point you at wikipedia for the definition of "approximate range".
‡ Edit Guru Lasse V. Karlsen is totally right to ask me to qualify this statement: Single is equivalent to float, my badly expressed point was that you have to know to look for Single rather than float to be able to find the information in the reference.


text:
Q: Tensorflow: using a session/graph in method
My situation is like this:
I have a script that trains a tensorflow model. Inside this script I instantiate a class that feeds the training data. That classes's initialization in turn instantiates another class called "image" to do various operations for data augmentation and what not.
main script -> instantiates data_feed class -> instantiates image class

My problem is that I'm trying to use tensorflow to do some operations within this image class by passing along either the session itself or the graph. But I've had little success.
 Approach that works (but too slow)
What I have right now, but working painfully slow, is something like this (simplified):
class image(object):
    def __init__(self, im):
        self.im = im

    def augment(self):
        aux_im = tf.image.random_saturation(self.im, 0.6)

        sess = tf.Session(graph=aux_im.graph)
        self.im = sess.run(aux_im)

class data_feed(object):
    def __init__(self, data_dir):
        self.images = load_data(data_dir)

    def process_data(self):
        for im in self.images:
            image = image(im)
            image.augment()

if __name__ == "__main__":
    # initialize everything tensorflow related here, including model
    sess = tf.Session()
    # next load the data
    data_feed = data_feed(TRAIN_DATA_DIR)
    train_data = data_feed.process_data()

This aproach works, but it creates a new Session for every image:
I tensorflow/core/common_runtime/gpu/gpu_device.cc:975] Creating TensorFlow device (/gpu:0) -> (device: 0, name: GeForce GTX 1070, pci bus id: 0000:01:00.0)
I tensorflow/core/common_runtime/gpu/gpu_device.cc:975] Creating TensorFlow device (/gpu:0) -> (device: 0, name: GeForce GTX 1070, pci bus id: 0000:01:00.0)
I tensorflow/core/common_runtime/gpu/gpu_device.cc:975] Creating TensorFlow device (/gpu:0) -> (device: 0, name: GeForce GTX 1070, pci bus id: 0000:01:00.0)
I tensorflow/core/common_runtime/gpu/gpu_device.cc:975] Creating TensorFlow device (/gpu:0) -> (device: 0, name: GeForce GTX 1070, pci bus id: 0000:01:00.0)
etc ...

 Approach that doesn't work (and should have been way faster)
What does not work, for example, and I can't figure out why, is to pass along the graph or session from my main script, like so:
class image(object):
    def __init__(self, im):
        self.im = im

    def augment(self, tf_sess):
        with tf_sess.as_default():
            aux_im = tf.image.random_saturation(self.im, 0.6)

            self.im = tf_sess.run(aux_im)

class data_feed(object):
    def __init__(self, data_dir, tf_sess):
        self.images = load_data(data_dir)
        self.tf_sess = tf_sess

    def process_data(self):
        for im in self.images:
            image = image(im)
            image.augment(self.tf_sess)

if __name__ == "__main__":
    # initialize everything tensorflow related here, including model
    sess = tf.Session()
    # next load the data
    data_feed = data_feed(TRAIN_DATA_DIR, sess)
    train_data = data_feed.process_data()

This is the error I get:
Traceback (most recent call last):
  File "/usr/lib/python2.7/threading.py", line 801, in __bootstrap_inner
    self.run()
  File "/usr/lib/python2.7/threading.py", line 754, in run
    self.__target(*self.__args, **self.__kwargs)
  File "/usr/local/lib/python2.7/dist-packages/keras/engine/training.py", line 409, in data_generator_task
    generator_output = next(generator)
  File "/home/mathetes/Dropbox/ML/load_gluc_data.py", line 198, in generate
    yield self.next_batch()
  File "/home/mathetes/Dropbox/ML/load_gluc_data.py", line 192, in next_batch
    X, y, l = self.process_image(json_im, X, y, l)
  File "/home/mathetes/Dropbox/ML/load_gluc_data.py", line 131, in process_image
    im.augment_with_tf(self.tf_sess)
  File "/home/mathetes/Dropbox/ML/load_gluc_data.py", line 85, in augment_with_tf
    self.im = sess.run(saturation, {im_placeholder: np.asarray(self.im)})
  File "/home/mathetes/.local/lib/python2.7/site-packages/tensorflow/python/client/session.py", line 766, in run
    run_metadata_ptr)
  File "/home/mathetes/.local/lib/python2.7/site-packages/tensorflow/python/client/session.py", line 921, in _run
    + e.args[0])
TypeError: Cannot interpret feed_dict key as Tensor: Tensor Tensor("Placeholder:0", shape=(96, 96, 3), dtype=float32) is not an element of this graph.

Any help would be much appreciated!

A: How about instead of having an Image class you create an ImageAugmenter class that takes a session when initialized, and then processes your images using Tensorflow? You could do something like this:
import tensorflow as tf
import numpy as np

class ImageAugmenter(object):
    def __init__(self, sess):
        self.sess = sess
        self.im_placeholder = tf.placeholder(tf.float32, shape=[1,784,3])

    def augment(self, image):
        augment_op = tf.image.random_saturation(self.im_placeholder, 0.6, 0.8)
        return self.sess.run(augment_op, {self.im_placeholder: image})

class DataFeed(object):
    def __init__(self, data_dir, sess):
        self.images = load_data(data_dir)
        self.augmenter = ImageAugmenter(sess)

    def process_data(self):
        processed_images = []
        for im in self.images:
            processed_images.append(self.augmenter.augment(im))
        return processed_images

def load_data(data_dir):
    # True method would read images from disk
    # This is just a mockup
    images = []
    images.append(np.random.random([1,784,3]))
    images.append(np.random.random([1,784,3]))
    return images

if __name__ == "__main__":
    TRAIN_DATA_DIR = '/some/dir/'
    sess = tf.Session()
    data_feed = DataFeed(TRAIN_DATA_DIR, sess)
    train_data = data_feed.process_data()
    print(train_data)

With this you wouldn't be creating a new session for each image, and it should give you what you want.
Note how sess.run() is called; The key I pass to its feed dict is the placeholder tensor defined above. According to your error trace, you are probably trying to call sess.run() from a part of your code where im_placeholder has not been defined, or it has been defined as other than a tf.placeholder.
Additionally, you could further improve the code by changing the ImageAugmenter.augment() method to receive both the lower and upper parameters as input for the tf.image.random_saturation() method, or you could initialize the ImageAugmenter with a specific shape instead of having it hardcoded, for example.


text:
Gideon Greif (* 1951 in Tel Aviv) ist ein israelischer Historiker sowie Spezialist in der Holocaustforschung und der didaktischen Vermittlung des Holocaust. Insbesondere hat sich Gideon Greif auf die Erforschung des "Sonderkommandos" von Auschwitz-Birkenau spezialisiert.

Leben
Greif stammt aus einer jüdisch-deutschen Familie. Zwischen 1965 und 1969 besuchte er die geisteswissenschaftliche Municipal High School in Tel Aviv. Von 1974 bis 1976 absolvierte er an der Universität Tel Aviv ein Bakkalaureat für Jüdische Geschichte mit Schwerpunkt "Die Geschichte des Landes Israels". Zwischen 1976 und 1982 absolvierte er an der Universität von Tel Aviv seinen Master in Jüdischer Geschichte. Von 1996 bis 2001 promovierte er an der Universität Wien in Moderner Geschichte.

Zwischen 1976 und 1982 war Gideon Greif an der Open University in Ramat Aviv Dozent für Jüdische Geschichte. Seine Themen waren die Geschichte des jüdischen Volkes während der Mishna und Talmud Zeit; die Geschichte der Zionistischen Idee und Bewegung; die Geschichte des jüdischen Volkes während des 1. u. 2. Tempels; sowie die Geschichte des jüdischen Volkes während der Shoah-Epoche. Des Weiteren war er pädagogischer Leiter des akademischen Programms für Jüdische Geschichte.

Von 1982 bis 1983 arbeitet er in der Knesset (Israelisches Parlament) in Jerusalem als Publikationsleiter und Redakteur für Publikationen des israelischen Parlaments.

Zwischen 1983 und 2009 arbeitete Gideon Greif im Yad Vashem Holocaust Museum in Jerusalem und Giw'atajim als Redakteur, Forschungsleiter, Pädagoge und Dozent an der International School for Holocaust Studies.

Außerdem war Gideon Greif zwischen 1996 und 2005 Vorsitzender des deutschsprachigen Desk der International School for Holocaust Studies. Zwischen 2005 und 2006 war er außerdem der Vorsitzende der polnischen Abteilung. In den Jahren 2002 und 2003 arbeitete er als Lehrender für Jüdische Geschichte an der Fakultät für Jüdische Geschichte der Universität Haifa. Zwischen August und Dezember 2001 war er außerdem Gastprofessor für Holocaust Studien am Zentrum für gegenwärtige Jüdische Studien der Universität Miami und Berater am Holocaust Memorial Center in Miami Beach in Florida.

Seit 2009 ist er am Shem Olam Institute for Education, Documentation and Research on Faith and the Holocaust in Israel tätig.

Ab August 2011 wurde er zum Professor für israelische und jüdische Geschichte am Schusterman Center für jüdische Studien an der Universität von Texas, Austin, USA, berufen. Er unterrichtete dort Holocaust Studien und die moderne Geschichte des Staates Israel. In den USA arbeitet er zudem für die Stiftung für Projekte über Holocaustlehren in Miami, Florida.

Wirken

Pädagogische Projekte
Zwischen 1993 und 1997 initiierte und leitete er Fortbildungsseminare für polnische Pädagogen und Mitarbeiter der staatlichen Museen in Auschwitz, Majdanek und Stutthof in Form von dreiwöchigen Seminaren in Yad Vashem. 1994 initiierte er Fortbildungsseminare für deutsche Pädagogen in Form von zweiwöchigen Seminaren in Deutschland, die er seither auch leitet. Seit 1993 leitet er weltweite Fortbildungsseminare für Lehrer aus verschiedenen Ländern (u. a. USA, Kanada etc.), welche er auch initiiert hat. Seit 1994 führt er pädagogische Projekte mit Schülern an einer Vielzahl von Hochschulen und Gymnasien in Deutschland, Österreich, Polen und Dänemark durch. Mitte 2013 hatten schätzungsweise bereits je 170.000 deutsche, 3.000 polnische und 5.000 dänische Schüler und Lehrer Greifs Vorträge gehört, ausgewählt aus seinem Programm, das etwa 20 von ihm erforschte Themen, meist begleitet von Bild- und Filmmaterial, umfasst.

Forschung, Beratung und journalistische Tätigkeit
Gideon Greif initiierte die Radio-Dokumentation Thessaloniki-Auschwitz, die die Vernichtung der griechischen Juden in Auschwitz rekonstruiert. Die Dokumentation zeigt außerdem ihr Leben vor der Deportation nach Auschwitz in ihrem Heimatland, Griechenland. Zur Produktion der Dokumentation reiste Greif mit 20 Überlebenden und ihren Kindern nach Griechenland, zu ihren Geburtsorten, und dann nach Auschwitz, wo jeder sein Schicksal im Lager rekonstruierte. Einige der Überlebenden waren Opfer der sogenannten "Medizinischen Experimente", andere waren im "Sonderkommando", einer war im Orchester und einige waren Häftlinge in Buna-Monowitz. Die Dokumentation, die auf Galei Zahal gesendet wurde, gewann den "Sokolow Prize" für die beste dokumentarische Sendung und wurde von einem Dokumentarfilm begleitet.

Seit 1991 ist Greif Berater für die Museumsleitung bei verschiedenen Tagungen und pädagogischen Projekten im Auschwitz-Birkenau Staatlichen Museum in Polen, wo er auch Ausstellungen, Filme und Unterrichtsmaterialien vorbereitet. Darüber hinaus arbeitet er dort als Übersetzer für israelische Besucher. Seit 1995 bereitet und leitet er Fortbildungskurse für wissenschaftliche Mitarbeiter der Stiftung "Survivors of the Shoah" (Visual History Foundation) in Los Angeles, insbesondere für Interviews von Holocaust-Überlebenden. Seit 1999 ist er Vorstandsmitglied und Berater für die amerikanische Leitung der Stiftung des internationalen Beirats des The Auschwitz Jewish Center Foundation in New York City/Oswiecim.

Greif initiierte die erste internationale Konferenz zu Werken von Yechiel Di-Nur, bekannt als K. Tzetnik, dem ersten Schriftsteller von Auschwitz. Diese Konferenz fand in Calgary, Kanada im März 2013 unter dem Titel Ka-Tztnik: der Einfluss des ersten Holocaust Schriftstellers in Israel und darüber hinaus statt. Die Konferenz wurde vom Institut für Israelische Studien der Calgary University organisiert. Renommierte Forscher aus sieben Ländern nahmen an der Konferenz teil.

Für das Musiktheaterstück Die Kinder der toten Stadt, das am 23. Juni 2018 veröffentlicht wurde, übernahm Greif die historische Beratung. Das Stück erzählt von den gefangenen Kindern von Theresienstadt, ihrem Leben dort und ihrer Ermordung in den NS-Todeslagern. Ziel des Projekts sind Aufführungen an Schulen, um über die Musik alternative didaktische Ansätze im Sinne der Erinnerungskultur anzubieten. Das von Gideon Greif mitverfaßte pädagogische Begleitmaterial steht Schulen über das Deutsche Institut für Erinnerungskultur zur Verfügung.

Ehrenamtliches Engagement
Zwischen 1980 und 1984 war Gideon Greif Vertreter der ersten offiziellen Organisation von Kindern von Holocaust-Überlebenden in Israel, "The Second Generation of Holocaust Survivors".

Greif initiierte außerdem das Projekt des authentischen Viehwaggons auf der Rampe von Birkenau, in dem ungarische Juden im Jahr 1944 nach Birkenau transportiert wurden. Nach dreijähriger Suche in ganz Europa wurde ein Viehwaggon in Deutschland, nahe der niederländischen Grenze, gefunden und nach Birkenau gebracht. Jetzt steht der Waggon auf der Rampe in Birkenau, nicht weit vom Eingangstor als Denkmal für die vielen Tausend ungarischen Juden, die in den Gaskammern von Birkenau ermordet wurden.

Srebrenica-Kontroverse
Nach Beschluss des Bundespräsidenten Frank-Walter Steinmeier wurde Greif zunächst das Bundesverdienstkreuz für seine herausragenden Leistungen im Bereich der Holocaust-Dokumentation, -Forschung und -Ausbildung zuerkannt. Nachdem internationale Medien, die Gesellschaft für bedrohte Völker, sowie Damir Softic, Vorsitzender des Zentralrats von Bosnien-Herzegowina, und Emir Ramic vom Institute for Research of Genocide Canada dies teils scharf kritisiert hatten und Folgen für Bosnien-Herzegowina befürchteten, wurde die Verleihung des Bundesverdienstkreuzes an Greif rückgängig gemacht.  Hintergrund ist eine im Jahr 2019 von der Republika Srpska eingesetzte Unabhängige internationale Untersuchungskommission zum Leiden aller Menschen in der Region Srebrenica zwischen 1992 und 1995, der Greif vorstand, und die zu dem Ergebnis kam, dass das Massaker von Srebrenica zwar ein Kriegsverbrechen, aber kein Genozid gewesen sei. Wenn es ein Genozid gewesen sei, dann einer am serbischen Volk, behauptete Greif weiter. Zudem korrigierte er die anerkannten Opferzahlen nach unten und behauptete, die meisten muslimischen Opfer seien in Kämpfen gestorben, so dass nur einige Hundert Zivilisten unter den Toten waren. Diesen Bericht hatte Menachem Z. Rosensaft, stellvertretender Geschäftsführer des Jüdischen Weltkongresses, als "schamlose Manipulation der Wahrheit" kritisiert. Zudem werde versucht, die Opfer für das Massaker verantwortlich zu machen. Greif selbst zeigte sich überzeugt, dass er das Bundesverdienstkreuz erhalten werde und verteidigte die Arbeit der Srebrenica-Kommission. Rosensaft erinnerte hingegen daran, dass Greif bereits im Jahr 2019 die Opferzahl des KZ Jasenovac willkürlich auf 700.000 bis 800.000 erhöht habe, obwohl die Jasenovac-Gedenkstätte 83.145 Opfer recherchierte.

Veröffentlichungen
 The Historiography of the Holocaust. Jerusalem 1989 (Co-Redakteur Yisrael Gutman).
 Wir weinten tränenlos ... Augenzeugenberichte des jüdischen 'Sonderkommandos' in Auschwitz. Köln 1995; Neuauflage Frankfurt am Main 1999, ISBN 3-596-13914-7; Jerusalem 1999 (Hebräisch); Warsaw 2002 (Polnisch); New Haven 2003 (englisch).
 Die Jeckes. Köln 2000, ISBN 3-412-11599-1.
 Die Schoah im Bewusstsein der Israelis.
 The Holocaust Encyclopedia. New Haven 2002: Mehrere Artikel (englisch).
 Stufen der Auseinandersetzung im Verständnis und Bewusstsein der Shoah in der israelischen Gesellschaft, 1945–2000: In: Psychosozial. 26 (2003), Nr. 93, S. 91–105.
 Ein abgeschnittenes Leben. Das Tagebuch von Etty Hillesum 1941–1943: In: Walter Schmitz (Hrsg.): Erinnerte Shoah. Die Literatur der Überlebenden. Dresden 2003.
 Anklageschrift: Deutsche, Polen, Juden. Die Versteckten Tagebücher von Calel Perechodnik: In: Walter Schmitz (Hrsg.): Erinnerte Shoah. Die Literatur der Überlebenden. Dresden 2003.
 My Brother's Keeper. Jews who saved Jews during the Holocaust. Jerusalem 2004.
 Between "Normality" and the "Absurd" – Spheres of Everyday Life in the Sonderkommando in Auschwitz – Birkenau": In: John K. Roth, Jonathan Petropoulos (Hrsg.): Grey Zones. Ambiguity and Compromise in the Holocaust and its Aftermath. Claremont 2005.
 Jüdische Schicksale während der Shoah – basierend auf Tagebüchern. Der Fall von Hillesum und Perechodnik. In: Psychosozial. 28 (2005), Nr. 100, S. 85–92.
 Aufstand in Auschwitz. Die Revolte des jüdischen "Sonderkommandos" am 7. Oktober 1944 (unter Mitarbeit von Itamar Levin). Aus dem Hebräischen übersetzt von Beatrice Greif. Köln 2015, ISBN 978-3-412-22473-8.
Jasenovac: Auschwitz of the Balkans: Ustasha empire of cruelty. Belgrad, 2018, ISBN 9788677124144.

Dokumentationen
Radiodokumentationen im israelischen Rundfunk

 The History of the Zionist Movement: Redakteur und Interviewer; 12 Kapitel, 1980.
 The Yellow Star. History of the Shoah:  Redakteur und Interviewer; 67 Kapitel, 1981–1983.
 Where was the Sun? Zentrale Dokumentation für Yom HaShoah, dem israelischen Holocaustgedenktag: Hauptredakteur und Interviewer, 1984–1993.
 I wanted to live. Ruth Eliaz's Aussage: Redakteur und Interviewer; 1986.
 I have been there. Dokumentationsserie über verschiedene Themen: Redakteur; 1986–1989.
 Saloniki – Auschwitz – The Life and Death of a Jewish Community: Redakteur und Interviewer; 1987.
 The Sonderkommando People of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Aussage von Yehoshua Rosenblum: Redakteur und Interviewer; 1987.
 The March of the Living. Live-Sendung aus Auschwitz-Birkenau: Mitarbeit; 1988, 1989 und 1992.
 50 Years after the Reichskristallnacht. Live-Sendung mit Augenzeugen und Historikern: Redakteur und Interviewer; 1988.

Fernsehdokumentationen

 Saloniki - Auschwitz: Drehbuch, Recherche und Interviews; 1988.
 Jewish Partisans in Eastern Europe: Drehbuch, Recherche und Interviews; 1989.
 Kielce Pogrom: Historische Beratung; 1990.
 The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising: Historische Beratung; 1994.
 The year 1938 – A Turning Point in the History of the Jews of Germany: Drehbuch, Recherche und Interviews: 1998.
 The Gold of the Jews. WDR-Produktion: Historische Beratung und Interviews; 1999.
 Holokaust. ZDF-Produktion: Kapitel über Auschwitz und Die Endlösung: Historische Beratung; 2000.
 Evidence – The Sonderkommando. Dokumentarfilm mit Beteiligung ehemaliger Mitglieder des Sonderkommandos, 2003.
 Auschwitz, the Nazis and the Final Solution. Sechsteilige Dokumentationsserie der BBC: Berater für Folge 4 und 5; 2005.
 Numbered. Dana Doron und Uriel Sinai (Regie): Historische Beratung; 2012.
 Das Sonderkommando in Auschwitz-Birkenau. Michael Prazan (Regie); in Vorbereitung; der Film wird 2014 fertig werden.

Theaterstücke
 I will get out of here! basierend auf einem Kapitel aus "Wir weinten tränenlos..."; Dr. Anton Dick-Boldes (Regie): Autor, Forschung und Interview; Berlin 1996.
 The Dentist; Stück für eine Schauspielerin basierend auf "Wir weinten tränenlos...", mit der Schauspielerin Razzia Israel.

Ausstellungen
Gideon Greif war wissenschaftlicher Berater für die Ausstellung "With me are six million Accusers - 50th Anniversary of Eichmann's Trial", die am 11. April 2011 in Yad Vashem eröffnet wurde. Die Ausstellung beschreibt die Karriere Eichmanns bei der SS, seine persönliche Verantwortung für die Deportation von Millionen Juden in Ghettos und Vernichtungslager, seine Versuche, sich nach dem Krieg zu verstecken und die Operation seiner Entdeckung und Festnahme in Argentinien im Jahr 1960. Die Ausstellung zeigt, dass Eichmann nicht ein "Schreibtischtäter" war, sondern ein fanatischer Feind der Juden, der sie alle in den Tod senden wollte.

Greif ist gemeinsam mit Peter Siebers und dem NS-Dokumentationszentrum Köln Veranstalter der Ausstellung "Ein Planet namens Auschwitz – Topographie und Alltag in einem Konzentrations- und Vernichtungslager", die im November 2014 in den Räumen des NS-Dokumentationszentrums eröffnet wird. Die Ausstellung rekonstruiert jedes einzelne Gebäude des Lagers Auschwitz visuell mittels Zeichnungen und zeigt auch von Häftlingen hergestellte Zeichnungen. Die Veranstalter kooperieren mit der Gedenkstätte und dem Museum Auschwitz-Birkenau.

Internationale Konferenzen und Symposien (Auswahl)
 Nationalsozialistische Lager. Weimar 1995.
 Seminare in Kooperation mit der Friedrich-Ebert-Stiftung und Yad Vashem. Würzburg 1996, 1997, 1998 und 2000.
 Gemeinsame Seminare von Yad Vashem und dem Berliner Senat. Berlin 1997 und 1998.
 Der Bruch des Spirale der Gewalt. Göttingen 1999, Max-Planck-Institut für Geschichte.
 Ich will Zeugnis ablegen bis zum Letzten. Die Tagebücher von Victor Klemperer und die Problematik der deutsch-jüdischen Beziehungsgeschichte. Waren-Müritz 2000, Moses-Mendelssohn-Institut Potsdam.
 Das literarische Erbe von K. Tzetnik. Dresden 2000: Vorlesung, Initiierung und Organisation in Zusammenarbeit mit Prof. Walter Schmitz.
 Tagebücher von Holocaust Überlebenden. 2. Internationale Konferenz zu Holocaust und Erziehung, Yad Vashem 2000.
 Einzigartige Zeugenaussagen – Das weltweite Projekt von Sonderkommando-Überlebenden. 3. Internationale Konferenz zu Holocaust und Erziehung, Yad Vashem 2002.
 Sonderkommandos und Arbeitsjuden, Internationale Konferenz, Brüssel 2013.
 Ka-Tzetnik: Der Einfluss des ersten Holocaust Schriftstellers in Israel und darüber hinaus, Calgary 2013.

Weblinks

 Gideon Greif im Interview mit dem israelischen Nachrichtensender i24news über sein Buch Jasenovac: Auschwitz of the Balkans: Ustasha empire of cruelty.  (Interview auf Englisch.)

Einzelnachweise

Holocaustforscher
Absolvent der Universität Tel Aviv
Israeli
Geboren 1951
Mann


Orange County's vegan food truck, Seabirds, is hosting a pop-up restaurant event at the new Back Bay Tavern at Whole Foods Fashion Island in Newport Beach, CA through this Saturday, December 8th. As soon as I heard about the event I knew I had to attend!
I love Seabirds (their beer-battered avocado tacos are to die for!) and try to eat at their truck whenever I can. I think it is important to support other vegans in the community and to spread the word on awesome vegan food, so I recommend Seabirds to pretty much everyone. And how can I not? The founders of Seabirds rock for bringing such amazing vegan food to the masses!
I definitely wanted to see what the Seabirds chefs could do in a full kitchen, so Mister Spooky and I headed over to the pop-up on its first day. I gleefully checked out the vegan menu, which had starters, entrees and desserts. They had a nice variety of old favorites (avocado tacos and jack fruit tacos) along with other selections like butternut squash enchiladas.
I ordered the Creamy Potato Chowder as a starter and the Butternut Squash Enchiladas for an entree. Mister Spooky ordered the always-delicious Beer-Battered Avocado Tacos.
The Creamy Potato Chowder was delicious and incredibly hearty! I loved the chunks of oyster mushrooms throughout the chowder that gave it a "meaty" texture. It came in a small portion but still managed to be quite filling!
The Butternut Squash Enchiladas were covered in a really delicious avocado-based sauce and a slaw. They had a subtle sweetness wrapped up in a delectably crispy shell! They came with a side of jalapeno black beans, but those were a bit under-seasoned. The plating was also a bit weird in that a huge plate with lots of unused area was used. Little quibbles and they didn't really detract from my overall enjoyment of the meal!
Mister Spooky enjoyed the Beer Battered Avocado Tacos (I barely got a bite before he devoured them all). If you don't make the pop-up, you can always get these at the truck!
We couldn't leave without having dessert, so we ordered the decadent Salted Caramel Brownie a la mode. I double-checked to make sure the ice cream was vegan (it was, though I wish I would have asked what kind they used!) and we dug in!! The dessert was rich, dense and drizzled with crunchy bits of salted caramel. You better believe it was polished off in no time!
We left stuffed and happy, though I do wish we could have tried all the other great-sounding items on the menu. Hmmm, perhaps we'll have to go back tomorrow and Saturday, too?!
I HIGHLY recommend you attend this pop-up event if you are around Orange County this weekend. The pop-up runs through this Saturday, December 8th and goes all day from 11 AM to 10 PM.
Check out more Seabirds on their website or Twitter!
This looks INCREDIBLE. You are so lucky to have this local to you - I am inanely jealous. There are only a couple of places that serve vegan food locally to me, and only one that is exclusively vegan. Those beer-battered tacos look ace.


text:
Q: Detect when Apache graceful reload is complete It appears Apache graceful reload (apachectl graceful) is an asynchronous operation. If I invoke it from a script, the script will continue while Apache does its thing, which may take an undetermined amount of time (e.g. slow clients, long downloads).
I'd like to programmatically detect when the reload is complete and Apache is now running with the new configuration. In other words, I'd like to find some way of treating it like a synchronous call that only continues once Apache is done.
How would you do that if you were me?
Added 12/09: It appears that Apache restarts idle threads with the new configuration but threads with open connections keep the old configuration until the connection terminates. So perhaps the question could be asked more precisely about determining when Apache starts accepting new connections with the new configuration.

A: I guess I need to solve my own problem ...
Here's a piece of Perl I came up with. Basically, I find the end of the Apache log file, and memorize it. Then I issue an Apache restart/reload, and look what text has been written to the log file since. If the text contains "resuming normal operations" I consider the restart/reload to have been completed. (I am not sure that is true, but it sounds like it from the Apache page on "Stopping and Restarting" here: http://httpd.apache.org/docs/2.2/stopping.html)
Improvements appreciated.
my $lastPos;

sub textSinceLast {
    my $logF  = '/var/log/httpd/error_log'; # or wherever your Apache log file is

    open( FH, '<', $logF ) || die( "Cannot open $logF" );
    my $pos  = sysseek( FH, 0, SEEK_END );
    my $ret = "Still at mark";

    if( defined( $lastPos ) && $pos != $lastPos ) {
        sysseek( FH, $lastPos, SEEK_SET );
        sysread( FH, $ret, $pos - $lastPos, 0 );
    }
    close( FH );
    $lastPos = $pos;
    return $ret;
}

textSinceLast();

`systemctl reload httpd`; # or "service restart apache2", or whatever your distro wants

for( my $i=0 ; $i<1000 ; ++$i ) { # give up after 10sec
    select( undef, undef, undef, 0.01 ); # apparently a tricky way of sleeping for 10ms
    my $text = textSinceLast();
    if( $text =~ /resuming normal operations/ ) {
        print "Detected restart on $i\n";
        last;
    }
}


Doncaster Rovers can confirm that James Harper has left the club by mutual consent.
James has reiterated to the club his desire to play first team football on a regular basis and following discussions with Paul Dickov, it has been agreed that the midfielder be allowed to progress his career elsewhere.
Gavin Baldwin, Chief Executive said "James Harper played a large part in the clubs promotion from League 1 last season and leaves with the clubs best wishes.


text:
The anatomy of a horror game
By Alessandro Arena-DeRosa
(Avery Campbell/Daily Collegian)
It was late on a Thursday night, a friend of mine had joked that she wanted to play "P.T." and the rest of my friends were equally interested. Despite my pleas against it, I reluctantly reinstalled the interactive teaser for the new "Silent Hills" game on my PlayStation 4. My friend looked baffled when I handed her the controller, insisting that she couldn't get the true experience otherwise, and then it began. For the first few minutes everyone was excitedly picking apart the small details in the hallway of the game, as the pitter pater of rain and the static of a haunting radio report filled the atmosphere. Then, we went through the door at the end of the hall only to loop back to the beginning.
Dread began to fill our group as every loop the room took got darker and more twisted. A baby's cry could be heard from the bathroom as the door ominously slid open and my friend reluctantly peered inside. Terror struck as the door slammed shut and we had to loop yet again, slowly piecing together what we were meant to do. The radio announcer warned us not to touch the dial, not to look back, and then the ghost, Lisa, came. In the flash of an eye, the ghostly apparition struck the main character sending a shockwave of screams throughout the group. And then we were back at the beginning of the loop. Paranoia seeped into our hearts, as we fought against continuing, the controller being passed from those petrified with fear to those brave enough to persist. Dread, terror, paranoia – this was "P.T." and it exemplified the three elements that make up a truly great horror game.
Dread is easily the most pronounced element in horror games. Dread is defined by the feeling a player gets when they know they have to progress but they're too scared to. Whether they're low on ammo, or maybe they know a jump scare is coming, it's the feeling that makes a player cringe when they have to peak out of hiding or open the next door. An early example of this is "Resident Evil." Be it the panicked feeling you get while walking down a hall, with only a handful of bullets and little health, unsure if a zombie will come crashing through the window and ruin your progress, or simply the ominous moans of a distant enemy as the game's haunting soundtrack echoes in its simplistic dissonance, dread can be found in every piece of this game.
A more recent example would be the atmospheric and chilling "Alien: Isolation." Much like the film "Alien," "Alien: Isolation" chooses to build a slow and looming sense of unease instead of outright shock. As the player travels through a derelict space station, they must pass through claustrophobic vents. These vents restrict movement speed to a literal crawl and make the player fearful, as they must pass through the titular alien's passage of choice, where it could snatch you up at any moment. Yet easily the best example of dread in this game is when the player finally acquires the motion tracker, whose ominous pings heightens the mood and create an impending sense of dread as each pulse could mean the alien has appeared.
Then there is terror, the staple of horror games, the jump scares. Terror, is in many ways dependent on the buildup of dread prior to the scare, and is demonstrated nowhere better than in "Outlast." "Outlast" is a game that keeps a vicious cycle of terror and dread going as the player must navigate through an asylum gone mad. In only the first 20 minutes of the game, the player is greeted by a slow ascent to try to break into the asylum, before the dread fills to a climax as they enter a room with severed heads strewn about. As the player scans the room with only the night vision of a video camera to guide their way, the game's first jump scare shocks the player as one of the seemingly dead bodies moans for help. Soon after, the player begins to slide through a narrow passage way, their mind reeling with thoughts and worries, yet another instance of terror appears as they are ripped from this passage and thrown through a wall by a monster. This phenomenon can also be seen in classics like "Amnesia," where the terror can last entire corridors, as the player frantically runs from unknown enemies or attempts to solve a puzzle with a monster close behind.
Finally there is paranoia, the horror that goes beyond the game itself and can instill fear in the player even after the game is turned off. Games like the "Fatal Frame" franchise or the "Condemned" series that create a uniquely realistic atmosphere and constantly make the player glance over their shoulder. Games like the earlier "Silent Hills" or the petrifying "Cry of Fear" use distinct audio design to unsettle the player and make them question their safety. A truly memorable example is "Eternal Darkness," a game which literally breaks the fourth wall, tearing the screen or telling the player their save file has been corrupted, even making it appear that the volume is being turned down by some unknown force.
These elements can be found in all horror games, although some choose only to focus on one. Games like "Five Nights at Freddy's" that profiteer off jump scares or "Slender" which gives a constant and never-ending sense of dread are great. But little can compare to masterpieces like "P.T." which seamlessly blend all three into one of the greatest horror experiences in gaming. So if you're looking for a few scares this Halloween, you can always turn to the wealth of strong horror experiences gaming has to offer.
Alessandro Arena-DeRosa can be reached at [email protected]
Alessandro Arena-DeRosa
Daily Collegian
Special Issue: Halloween
UMass Daily Collegian
'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker' leaves plenty to be desired
'1917' is a technical achievement for the ages
The Jonas Brothers single 'Like It's Christmas' will add some flair to your holiday playlist
'The Prom' lives on with Saundra Mitchell's young adult novel
'The Mandalorian' surpasses expectations
The vast accessibility of modern music streaming
TikTok is changing the game
Interviewing darksynth: Battlejuice
HBO's 'Watchmen' is a revelatory expansion of the classic comics

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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The Center for Justice and Accountability (whose work we have regularly featured) has just issued a job description for a staff attorney position. Job description is as follows:
Investigation: The Staff Attorney develops and investigates potential new cases. Investigative responsibilities include factual and legal research in the U.S. and overseas, developing contacts with survivor communities and human rights activists, and analyzing relevant political and legal issues in the home country to assess the viability of the potential case.
Litigation: The Staff Attorney will work on all aspects of litigation in assigned cases, including legal research, devising litigation strategy, drafting and editing legal documents, calendaring, working with expert witnesses, writing amicus briefs, and organizing amicus strategies. The Staff Attorney may also assist in securing pro bono co-counsel. The Staff Attorney will keep current with the most recent developments in the general field of ATS and TVPA law, international criminal law, and related evidentiary and procedural issues. The Staff Attorney keeps adequate files and completes reports regarding the developments in his or her cases. The Staff Attorney may also be responsible for selecting and supervising law student interns.
Clients: In coordination with other attorneys, the Staff Attorney will serve as the primary contact with the clients for communications with the legal team for his or her assigned cases. The Staff Attorney has primary responsibility for keeping clients informed on case development, acts as a liaison between clients and the legal team, and coordinates logistics for client travel. The Staff Attorney strives to assure that clients' interests are safeguarded. This may require securing psychological, social, or additional legal services.
Transitional Justice: The Staff Attorney may work on a variety of transitional justice initiatives. Duties may include providing expertise on witness preparation and testimony, the introduction of evidence, charging human rights crimes and other areas of human rights prosecutions. The Staff Attorney may organize or otherwise participate in trainings that bring together faculties of judges, prosecutors, investigators and forensic anthropologists with strong track records in national court human rights prosecutions.
Development/Education/Outreach: The Staff Attorney participates in fundraising, education and outreach activities. Fundraising activities may include drafting and reviewing grant proposals and reports, participating in fundraising events and meeting with major donors. The Staff Attorney drafts and reviews fundraising, outreach and website materials regarding his or her respective cases to ensure their accuracy. The Staff Attorney engages in education and outreach efforts, including public speaking, community outreach, drafting reports and/or opinion articles, to advance public awareness of CJA and its mission.
Ideally, the Staff Attorney will have:
A minimum of five years of federal court litigation experience and membership in one State Bar;
Superb legal research, writing and analytical skills and strong interpersonal and communication skills;
Ability and willingness to travel occasionally in the United States and internationally;
Experience with international law and human rights cases, including the Alien Tort Statute and the Torture Victim Protection Act is desirable;
Familiarity with universal jurisdiction litigation in Europe is desirable;
Proficiency in a language other than English is desirable;
Experience working directly with clients and/or non-governmental organizations.
Ideally, the Staff Attorney will be:
Deeply committed to human rights, with a desire to work with clients from the torture survivor community;
Strategic and resourceful; able to successfully manage multiple, competing priorities and meet deadlines; able to function effectively in a growth environment;
A team player with considerable experience collaborating on litigation projects;
An active, keen listener; trustworthy;
Emotionally mature and self-confident, with a sense of humor.
Salary is based on experience and our commitment to internal equity.
To apply, please submit a cover letter and resume by e-mail to jobs@cja.org. Please put "Attn: Staff Attorney" in the subject line of the email. Applications will be accepted until the position is filled. No phone calls, please. Only those applicants selected for an interview will receive a response.
by Beth Van Schaack at 5:52 PM
Labels: BVS, Center for Justice and Accountability, human rights, On the Job


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Posted on June 22, 2016 by decorsgo.


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About the Trial
LENS Centres
Information regarding COVID-19 for LENS participants can be found by clicking on news in the navigation menu
Diabetic retinopathy is one of the leading causes of blindness in adults of working age
Each year, 5,500 patients with diabetes in Scotland need to see a NHS eye specialist for the first time due to clinically significant retinopathy
The LENS trial is investigating the effect of an established cholesterol-lowering medicine, fenofibrate, on retinopathy
Approximately 1,100 patients from across Scotland will be taking part in the LENS trial
What does the LENS trial involve?
1,134 participants recruited
Diabetes can affect the small blood vessels at the back of the eye, a condition called diabetic retinopathy. Diabetic retinopathy remains one of the commonest causes of blindness in adults of working age. While control of glucose and blood pressure is important, many patients with diabetes still develop progressive retinopathy and this may require interventions such as retinal laser, vitrectomy and courses of intravitreal injections to preserve sight. However, these treatments are only given when the condition is already advanced. Therefore, treatments which can substantially reduce the progression of retinopathy to a serious level are urgently required.
the lens trial
Fenofibrate is a well-known cholesterol-lowering medicine that has been used for more than twenty years. Two major trials conducted in patients with diabetes suggested that taking fenofibrate may slow down the progression of retinopathy by 30% to 40%. However, conclusive information is needed.
The LENS (Lowering Events in Non-proliferative retinopathy in Scotland) trial is testing whether taking fenofibrate tablets on a regular basis for at least 3 years will slow the progression of retinopathy compared to placebo. LENS will recruit over a thousand patients with diabetes and observable retinopathy from across mainland Scotland. This streamlined trial is funded by the National Institute for Health Research. LENS is being co-ordinated by the University of Oxford and the University of Glasgow, and is run in close partnership with the Universities of Aberdeen, Dundee and Edinburgh, and with NHS Scotland's Retinal Screening Service. The University of Oxford is sponsoring the trial.
Information about General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) and the LENS Trial
What happens during the trial?
Step by step guide to the trial
LENS information to download
What is the purpose of the trial?
Why have I been invited?
Do I have to take part?
Who is running and who is funding the trial?
What are the benefits of taking part in this trial?
Are there any risks?
What happens when the trial stops?
What if relevant new information becomes available?
What if I don't want to carry on with the trial?
What if there is a problem?
Will my taking part be kept confidential?
What will happen to the results of the research trial?
What travel expenses are available for the two clinic visits?
How is this trial organised?
FIRST PARTICIPANT SCREENED
FIRST PARTICIPANT RANDOMIZED


Antiwar.com, a news organization featuring overseas war coverage and anti-war opinion news, discovered over the weekend they have been an FBI surveillance target after a blogger sent them a redacted PDF file in the course of a Freedom of Information Act or FOIA document request for research.
We interviewed Jason Ditz, news editor at Antiwar.com, for details on recent events.
"Are Tech Companies Becoming Unofficial Intelligence Agents?"
The FBI plans to increase the size of the Clarksburg complex significantly with the opening of a new 350,000-square-foot Biometric Technology Center in 2014, Morris said. The FBI plans to share the facility with the U.S. Department of Defense.


We present two applications of quantum integrable systems. First, we predict that it is possible to generate high harmonics from solid state devices by demostrating that the emission spectrum for a minimally coupled laser field of frequency $\omega$ to an impurity system of a quantum wire, contains multiples of the incoming frequency. Second, evaluating expressions for the conductance in the high temperature regime we show that the caracteristic filling fractions of the Jain sequence, which occur in the fractional quantum Hall effect, can be obtained from quantum wires which are described by minimal affine Toda field theories.