text:
An Aspie's Guide to

Choosing
a Career

This eBook originally appeared as a chapter in

Been There. Done That. Try This!
An Aspie's Guide to Life on Earth.

EDITED BY TONY ATTWOOD, CRAIG R. EVANS AND ANITA LESKO

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
This edition published in 2015

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

First published in 2014 as a chapter of Been There. Done That. Try This! An Aspie's Guide to Life on Earth edited by Tony Attwood, Craig R. Evans and Anita Lesko

www.jkp.com

Copyright © Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2014, 2015

Artwork copyright © Derran Rootring, Michael Tolleson 2014, 2015

Front cover artwork © Stephanie Tihanyi 2014, 2015

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 6–10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Applications for the copyright owner's written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

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eISBN 978 1 78450 133 4
The greatest wisdom on Autism Spectrum Disorders such as Asperger's syndrome resides within those who have an ASD. If you have, or someone you love or support has, an ASD, seek the wisdom of those who have an ASD and you will understand.

Dr. Tony Attwood

We can all thrive with autism. The heroes herein, contributing their life-earned wisdom to future generations of Aspies, are living proof. I'm dedicating this book to the delightfully warm, talented and brilliant young man who introduced me to the amazing world of autism—Nolan Parks.

Craig R. Evans

I dedicate this book to all the Aspies around the globe. For only another Aspie can truly know what it's like to walk in these Aspie shoes.

Anita Lesko
Contents

PREFACE FROM BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. TRY THIS!

Aspie Mentors' Advice on Choosing a Career

Larry Moodyy

Richard Maguire

Lars Perner

Ruth Elaine Joyner Hane

Anita Lesko

Debbie Denenburg

Charli Devnet

Dr. Patrick Suglia

Dr. Tony Attwood's Advice on Choosing a Career

ARTWORK

ABOUT THE ASPIE MENTORS

ABOUT THE EDITORS

THE 17 STRESSORS: THE 17 RANKED ISSUES THAT CAUSE THE MOST STRESS TO SOMEONE WITH ASPERGER'S/HFA
Preface from
Been There. Done That. Try This!

Dr. Tony Attwood

Working on this book has been enlightening, inspiring and, most of all, fun. The original idea was to explore and apply the great wisdom on Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) that has not been published in academic journals or textbooks but has been acquired over the lifetimes of those who have Asperger's syndrome. They are the great Aspie mentors who know ASD from the inside; they have "Been there, done that," and from their wisdom say, "Try this!" They provide advice and encouragement that has far greater credibility, empathy and value than the advice of neurotypical parents and clinicians. Read this book and be enlightened.

Craig R. Evans

In 2003 I met my first (amazing) Aspie. His name was Nolan. At 13 he was reciting Latin genus species names of animals and lining then up in rows based on size, color, foods consumed or just alphabetically (in English or Latin). He'd phonetically sounded out the animals' names and learned their stories after reading about them on his Animal Facts cards. At the same time, Nolan was creating different combinations of mythical (futuristic) animals on a website called SPORE. And he was drawing astonishing cartoons of his favorite pets (Australian sugar gliders). The zoo was his second home. I was learning that Nolan is a lot like his mother: artistic, brilliant, funny, creative and loving. But unlike his mom, Nolan is challenged. Between allergies, sensory issues and severe anxiety, daily life was a battlefield. After raising two neurotypical kids in my first marriage, I'd never experienced anything like this before. I needed to find some answers.

An in-depth scan of the web turned up little more than a few autism associations, notices of fund raising walks and sketchy discussions of possible causes and the hope for a cure. Oddly, there was nothing about living with autism. In order to learn how to deal with Nolan and the explosion of children like him, I needed to change that.

Nolan became my stepson in 2007 when I married his wonderful mother. In 2008, I launched Autism Hangout, an online discussion forum that reports news, complies facts and community-submitted personal experiences, and invites ongoing discussion to discover insights on how best to deal with the daily challenges of autism. My mission was simple: I wanted to find ways for Nolan—and others like him—to "thrive with autism." And those messages needed to be shared with a shell-shocked autism community. So my journey as a journalist began.

I decided to videotape my findings in short (under ten-minute) video reports. After posting a few, my instincts were confirmed. The videos were getting hammered—some garnered more than 1000 views in a 24-hour period. Today, there are close to 500 videotaped reports at Autism Hangout, not all mine. But all focused on relevant, positive, helpful messages.

I've interviewed some amazing people along the way: authors, autism experts, medical professionals, occupational therapists, teachers, caregivers, speech and language pathologists and successful/inspirational/thriving people with autism. Two things I immediately noticed they all had in common: hope and a positive attitude. So in capturing their messages (on video) and putting them out there, I knew it was going to be possible for all of us to learn to thrive with autism. And then I met another person who rocked my world: Dr. Tony Attwood.

Sometime around 2009, I'd written Dr. Tony (in Australia) and invited him to record answers (via Skype) to questions about autism that were submitted by Autism Hangout members. He immediately agreed, acknowledging the importance of dispersing encouraging findings, techniques and treatments as quickly as possible. The "Ask Dr. Tony" show became a reality. Many of those programs have since received tens of thousands of views. And the grateful comments from hundreds of viewers confirm their helpfulness...and hopefulness.

During one of those recorded conversations, Dr. T brought up the concept of "Aspie mentors"—someone older with Asperger's/High Functioning Autism (HFA) looking to help younger spectrum dwellers face the same challenges they encountered and overcame earlier in life. Talk about hopeful! I jumped on it!

We were pretty sure, starting out, that we'd be able to locate "qualified" Aspie mentors. Our "qualification" was simply someone diagnosed with Asperger's (or HFA) who had found satisfaction in life. Satisfaction could be defined many ways: a good job, money, a fulfilling marriage, and peace. But we discovered something else that provided enormous satisfaction. Something remarkable.

Almost without exception, the mentors who took part in this work were already mentoring. Having lived through the proverbial dark ages of ignorance towards their needs and predispositions, without exception, this group was already actively engaged in giving back in order to help others like themselves avoid stress. Mentoring is one of the many ways they find fulfillment.

Initially, the thought was to assemble Aspie mentors in cities across the country. Monthly meet ups could be arranged where junior Aspies could meet with senior Aspies and learn (from their life's experiences) how to navigate common Aspie-related issues (such as anxiety, self-esteem, making and keeping friends) to avoid stress. But I quickly found out that the databases necessary to make that sort of event happen were years away. However, it wasn't long until I arrived at the idea of a book—a "primer"—of Aspie mentor wisdom, which might someday help pave the way for meet up groups.

So here, with this first book of Aspie wisdom, we start. For me, Dr. Tony and Anita and hundreds of thousands of next-generation Aspies, this book is a dream that's come true.

I'm hopeful the insight and wisdom of the compassionate, brave, persevering souls that contributed to this book is clearly communicated to those on the spectrum following in their footsteps. And I'm more hopeful the love—from Aspie to fellow Aspie, clearly present in this act of selflessness—is noticed by the world. This is compassion in print.

Thank you, thank you, Aspie mentors, for genuinely making the world a better place. And thank you, Cherri Saltzmann, Mitra Ahani, Kathleen Tehrani and Theresa and Frank Gustafson. None of this could have happened without you.

Anita Lesko

I went the first 50 years of my life with Asperger's syndrome. Only I didn't know it! I heard of it two years ago from a co-worker whose son just got diagnosed with Asperger's. I stood in shock as I read all the signs and symptoms of it. All the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fell into place. The whole picture of my life now made sense! I never fit in. I always knew I was different. I simply never knew why.

It seemed my invisible disorder created endless obstacles. Somehow I managed to develop strategies to overcome them. Perseverance was the biggest one. It has taken me to great heights—15,000 feet to be exact! I got a flight in an F-15 fighter jet in 2006. One of my special interests took me there. In 1988 I graduated from Columbia University. A Master of Science in Nurse Anesthesia has enabled me to have a great career. I've been working the past 25 years as a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist.

The night I discovered I have Asperger's, I went to the bookstore. I purchased every book they had about it. Dr. Tony Attwood's The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome was the first one I read. To this day it remains my Bible of Asperger's. It's as if Tony knew me from the second I was born!

I then went for a formal diagnosis. There was no support group in my area, so of course I started one. I wrote my memoir/inspirational book Asperger's Syndrome: When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade during a two-week vacation. After seeing my manuscript, Dr. Temple Grandin called to ask about including me in her new book. Different...Not Less was published in April 2012, and I am Chapter 7.

Someone told me about a great website: autismhangout.com. Wow! Indeed it was great. There were hundreds of educational video clips in short eight- to ten-minute segments, and included there was Dr. Tony Attwood, in a series called "Ask Dr. Tony." I sent the founder, Craig R. Evans, a copy of my book, and he then contacted me to do an interview. I admired Craig for all he was doing for autism. I later expressed my desire to help others on the spectrum. I wanted to do something on a global level. Craig said he might just have what I was looking for.

Two weeks later I received an email from Dr. Tony Attwood. He, too, had a dream on a global scale, to gather all the "older" Aspies to provide their wisdom to the younger ones. We had "been there and done that," and now would share our wisdom to "try this!" I was ecstatic—the project was going to be me, Craig and Dr. Tony.

We immediately went to work. First we assembled a list of categories of issues that most affected Aspies daily. A survey was then created based on these categories, and field tested on 50 Aspies. I became quite proficient at rounding them up. Dr. Tony participated in this as well, tweaking the survey with more categories.

Now the survey was ready for launch. I recorded a video clip explaining the need for this project. I got it everywhere Aspies would see it. We had over 322 responses, which was strong statistical data. A never-before-conducted study had been accomplished.

Meanwhile, I was assembling the group of Aspie mentors. I gathered quite an impressive list—a "who's who," in fact: Dr. Temple Grandin, Dr. Stephen M. Shore, Dr. Lars Perner, Alexis Wineman, and many more. I started with Aspies with whom I was already connected, and Kathleen Tehrani (autismbrainstorm.org) directed me to other appropriate mentors. Instructions for the mentors were then prepared. Each was to write a minimum of four essays, choosing from the 17 categories. The essays were to be a maximum of 600 words, which would provide quick, concise wisdom to the reader.

Now came the really exciting part—the essays began arriving. I was thrilled from my Aspie point of view, and started feeling really connected. This was incredible advice from successful Aspies, like a global support group.

Most of the Aspie mentors were diagnosed late in life. Like myself, they all managed to succeed despite the obstacles. It is the wisdom that we gained in managing to do this that we want to pass on to the young Aspies. It is a different, more complex world today; our youth need all the help they can get. This book will unite Aspies around the world in a historic movement. This is only the beginning.

Equally important is educating the public about Asperger's. The term "Asperger's" has now been removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) and replaced with the term "Autism Spectrum Disorder," but we shall always be Aspies! This book will provide insight into the Aspergian mind. People will finally see how we experience the world around us. We have many gifts, and with those we've made this a better world; we have created electricity, motor vehicles, computers, and many conveniences of modern life. However, the severity of the sensory issues will truly become apparent, and I hope that people will now recognize just how profoundly we are affected. This book is not only for other Aspies. It's for parents, educators, therapists and medical personnel—anyone having contact with Aspies.

This book, full of Aspie wisdom, is a dream come true. I set out to help hundreds of thousands of Aspies around the world. This is only the beginning, the first step to unite us. We have a voice that wants to be heard: here come our first words, which will resonate around the globe. We are connecting with each other and, even more far-reaching, we are allowing the world to see we have hopes, dreams and feelings too. We belong on this planet, just like everyone else.

Addendum: Words are only one form of human communication. In addition to the submitted essays, Aspie mentor artists from around the world freely contributed artwork to this book. This is included towards the end of the eBook. It is our hope that through both reading and seeing how stressor issues feel to someone on the spectrum, all of us will come to a deeper, more compassionate understanding of what daily life is like.

REFERENCES

Attwood, T. (2008) The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Grandin, T. (2012) Different...Not Less: Inspiring Stories of Achievement and Successful Employment from Adults with Autism, Asperger's and ADHD. Arlington, TX: Future Horizons.

Lesko, A. (2011) Asperger's Syndrome: When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade. iUniverse.
Aspie Mentors' Advice on Choosing a Career

Stress Ranking: 15*

*Please see "The 17 Stressors" at the end of this eBook to put this research in context.

Many people with Asperger's/HFA have difficulties deciding on a career that's best for them. Some examples of career-related issues include: "Do I have a skill that people would pay me to use?" "How do I find out about my skill and what careers could I consider?" Do you have concerns about choosing a career?

Larry Moody

According to my Social Security records, my working life spanned 37 years. I have never been fired from a job. In almost all cases, I chose my jobs to match my skills and abilities. In a few cases, I chose jobs because I needed something quickly to pay my bills while I continued to hunt for a "better for me" job.

Ultimately, I believe it's largely a function of passion and zeal for your chosen profession that will drive you to get better and better at whatever you choose to do, and that will drive you to the top and ultimately to success. Although success is not guaranteed for anyone, neither is failure.

In my opinion, there are a few keys to choosing a career that significantly improve your odds of success:

1. IDENTIFY YOUR GIFTS...

For some few, this may be easy. But for most, this is likely to be the most difficult part of the whole process. "What? I have gifts?" you say. What are your general and "special" interests? And can you find a way to integrate them functionally into a job, and ultimately into a career path? Here are some areas to explore while searching for gifts through observation:

•What activities hold your interest?

•What subjects in school did you excel at?

•What jobs and tasks have you done well with?

•Do you have any skill-based hobbies?

•How do you most easily learn?

•Are you primarily a visual, aural or kinesthetic learner?

•What are your past and current "special interests"?

This is about your interests and your future, not what your parents or anyone else says you should or should not pursue as a career.

2. FOLLOW YOUR PASSION...

What do you really, really want to do? What are your special interests? There are two interesting little books I found that could help identify many more bizarre possibilities, and help you begin to think outside of usual roles. They are titled Odd Jobs: Portraits of Unusual Occupations, and Odder Jobs, More Portraits of Unusual Occupations, both by Nancy Rica Schiff.

3. DEVELOP YOUR TALENTS...

Da Vinci and Picasso weren't considered masters of their arts until many years after they began to practice and develop their skills under the tutelage of others. Einstein didn't create his theory of relativity overnight. Have you heard about the tourist that stopped a New Yorker on the streets of Manhattan and asked him, "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" The New Yorker answered, "Practice, practice, practice."

It takes time and effort to develop your talents. Everyone starts at the bottom. I began my career in engineering as a draftsman, a surveyor, an engineering technician, a computer programmer and a designer. I logged seven-plus years of engineering-related work before receiving my BS in Civil Engineering. There is another book I recommend: Developing Talents by Temple Grandin and Kate Duffy.

4. YOU CAN LEARN TO DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO DO...

As long as you are persistent and don't give up, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. I earned my engineering degree over an 11-year period. There was a total of about 3 years of the 11 that I was working full time and not in college. I got discouraged and dropped out of college more than once, but I always came back. One of my required math courses (differential equations) I flunked four times before getting a passing grade. That's perseverance!

5. IDENTIFY APPROPRIATE TYPES OF EMPLOYMENT...

Here are some up-front questions to answer honestly for yourself before considering another job:

•What jobs have you had in the past?

•Were they related in some way?

•Which were you good at doing?

•Which were you bad at doing?

•At which jobs were you successful in the eyes of your employer?

•Why were you successful?

•Was it your ability, attitude, or both?

•At which did you fail in the eyes of your employer?

•Why did you fail?

•Was each failure due to a lack of skills, knowledge, or relationship issues?

•Are you easily distracted?

•Do you have specific auditory issues or sound sensitivities?

•Do bright or flashing or flickering lights distract you?

It's about identifying the types of working environments that will give you the best opportunity to succeed, and avoiding those in which you are likely to fail.

RECOMMENDED READING

Grandin, T. and Duffy, K. (2008) Developing Talents: Careers for Individuals with Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: Autism Asperger Publishing Company.

Schiff, N.R. (2002) Odd Jobs: Portraits of Unusual Occupations. Berkley, CA: Ten Speed Press.

Schiff, N.R. (2006) Odder Jobs: More Portraits of Unusual Occupations. Berkley, CA: Ten Speed Press.

Richard Maguire

A career is not something that happens; it is made by you and is subject to many unforeseen and unknown events and people in life.

I have met many autistic people who have a singular focus on a particular career and a belief that it will happen, and no other options or jobs are adequate in their lives. Consequently, they have always been unhappy and unfulfilled. I will start by saying that a career will not happen like that unless you have a very saleable skill, such as the right sort of computer programming at the time of seeking a job. For everyone else, careers are made through hard work, experience, learning, making mistakes, having many unhappy experiences, being persistent, having and using social skills and keeping going even in the hardest times.

The best life and learning opportunities for me have been in work. I have never been proud or rejected a job because it was simple, low status or grotty; jobs have enabled me to meet a range of people I would not have met in my otherwise restricted autistic life. Jobs teach how to communicate effectively, get on with people and pursue someone else's priorities. A job exists because an employer created it. A job's only purpose is to do something the employer's organization wants done.

A job teaches you to be flexible, to get on with colleagues, to learn skills, to make priorities, to develop and share a sense of humour, to give and receive empathy, to grow as a person, to project yourself, to be on time, to initiate an activity at the employer's timing not your own, to look presentable, to have good personal hygiene, to make eye contact if you are serving customers, to deal with change, and to take instruction. In other words, jobs teach us autistic people most of the things we need to know to develop and get on in life.

A job provides opportunity for success and self-esteem—we must succeed at a job to keep it. Jobs are not about fun and that is a good thing; they are about commitment. Be prepared to be surprised at what you will find out about yourself in jobs. Jobs exist in the University of Life and this is where we all live, autistic or not. If you enjoy a job, that's great; if you don't, you will learn important things about life and persistence.

A job will test you and take you outside of your autistic interests and skills. That is good, as we can be too narrow at times, and a job broadens our outlook and takes us into the unknown, where we might be surprised at how good we are at things we never tried before.

Jobs are super ways of learning about where our future careers lie. It is even a good thing when a job is horrid and does not work out, because we learn something about which way not to go and how to get things better next time. And there will be a next time, as long as we have a positive attitude. No one will want to employ a moaner; individuals with a positive attitude are far more likely to be employed. An employer will more likely listen to you if you make positive contributions.

A series of jobs will provide invaluable information on how to make a career for yourself. There is time in your life to try out and learn. A career is an organic thing that has a life of its own within your life. Work at it and grow it and you can have a career.

My first job was pumping petrol at 16. I loved that job, and it taught me more about work and social skills than all my education to that point. Things I learned and friends I made in that job are still with me today, at 46. That job taught me so much about forging a career; I am forever pleased I had it.

If you cannot find a paying job, go and volunteer. You will learn and be better placed for a paid job in the future. I have mentored lots of volunteers who have gone on and succeeded at jobs and careers afterwards.

Lars Perner

I am one of those fortunate Aspies who actually gets paid (albeit not quite as much as I would like) for talking about my special interests in great detail. I even get to give exams, one of my favorite activities! (I can't say I enjoy grading them as much afterward, but that is another matter.) For someone who doesn't much like change, I sometimes can't believe that I pulled off never having to leave college—at some point, I just made a 180-degree turn in the classroom, and am now facing students. It doesn't hurt to be in a profession where eccentricity and absentmindedness are recognized as signs of genius.

In my case, I was fortunate that the supply of potential business school professors is somewhat less than is the case in the "basic" disciplines such as psychology, history and chemistry. Although I was aware when I decided to go into marketing rather than industrial/organizational psychology—which had been my earlier plan—that the job market was somewhat better in business than in the social sciences, I really can't take credit for having planned this well. But it worked out relatively well.

Those of us on the spectrum often mature somewhat more slowly than people in general. Even for ordinary people, it may be difficult to truly know in one's late teens or early twenties what one would like to do for the rest of one's life. Understanding the realities of what an occupation actually involves—as opposed to what we might have imagined—also takes time. Until I was a freshman in college, I had planned on becoming an attorney. However, as I took a course in legal research and learned more about the discipline, I began to realize that it was not for me. I am not sure if, at the time, I could have put this into words, but it seemed that the law was too spontaneous and adversarial for my taste. I did not realize at the time that I might have been able to go into appellate law, which might have been more to my liking. Instead, I decided that I wanted to become a professor.

When my psychology textbook mentioned, "A question that only a psychologist could ask" ("Why does an infant love its mother?") I was hooked. I knew that psychology was for me. I was not, however, particularly interested in becoming a clinical psychologist. I found a book published by the American Psychological Association titled Preparing for Graduate Study in Psychology: Not for Seniors Only! This book pointed out that only a minority of Ph.D. psychologists would actually get to teach in a university. That was one of the reasons why I ultimately settled on industrial/organizational psychology, since that was an area that had more potential for use in industry. I reasoned that I should probably know something about business to go into this field, so I decided to get an MBA on the way. It was here that I discovered marketing—and my field of consumer behavior in particular—and realized that this was a better area for the application of my interests in psychology.

In my case, things were not as well planned as they could, in retrospect, have been. However, one important lesson is that I ending up choosing marketing, an area where there is less of an over-supply of job applicants than would have been the case in psychology. Often, it helps to look for alternative and less well-known areas of application for one's interests. For example, there is a lot of competition for jobs designing video games, an area that might be of interest to a lot of Aspies. However, those who go into the field of traffic engineering get to "play" with much cooler and more powerful computers to simulate traffic patterns. Finding out how to alleviate traffic congestion by simulating traffic flows can be much more interesting than playing an ordinary game. An Aspie may also have some unconventional but highly effective ideas on how congestion can be alleviated.

REFERENCE

Fretz, B.R. (1980) Preparing for Graduate Study in Psychology: Not for Seniors Only! Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Ruth Elaine Joyner Hane

Watching the clerk pile groceries into paper bags at the Red Owl, it was clear to me that I wanted to sell things. My first attempt at commerce was offering mud pies for one cent each. But none of the kids bought my produce. Not dispirited, I decided to try another tactic; I pulled my red Radio Flyer wagon, collecting empty pop bottles, and redeemed them at the College Grocery for two cents each. I was motivated by profit. I bought Nesbitt orange pop and Butterfinger bars.

The following endeavor included a "business plan." When the street department announced in the newspaper that our streets were going to be surfaced with asphalt, my friend, Janie, and I decided to become partners and sell Cool Aid to the workmen. We proposed a strategy to Janie's mother, who assisted in estimating the cost of a packet of powdered cherry drink, sugar and dish soap (for cleanup). She helped us learn how to calculate profit by cutting a paper circle into a pie shape to represent the costs of the Cool Aid.

The next day we asked the workmen, "Who do we talk to about selling Cool Aid?" The men motioned to a supervisor sitting in a truck. We pitched the concept of exclusively buying drinks only from us, by vowing to wash the glasses with soap and water and measure the sugar. At ten o'clock each morning we promised to bring the refreshments to their work site and charge five cents per glass. "You've got a deal," he said. We were industrious and sold enough drinks to host a neighborhood picnic, inviting all of the kids for hot dogs and chips at the end of summer.

When I was staying with my grandmother in Iowa at the age of nine, she taught me how to sew. I liked the vibration of the sewing machine as I passed fabric beneath the pressure foot, and sewed aprons, tops and shorts for my cousin and me. "What do you call someone who makes clothing for others?" I asked my grandmother. "A clothes designer," she replied.

My high school counselor suggested that a career in clothing design would involve taking Fashion Design at Parsons School in New York City. Since I could not afford the tuition, my second choice was to become a clothing buyer.

The On the Job Training program in high school was tailored for my visual, hands-on learning style. I apprenticed at the JC Penney store, gaining experience in the stock room, through accounting and sales. Then I studied retailing at the University of Minnesota, where I was selected Outstanding Student. I became an assistant buyer in junior sportswear and then a regional buyer in junior dresses.

In midlife, I returned to college for a degree in costume design, and apprenticed for a high fashion designer in New York City. I found hidden workplace agendas were an enigma; many of the buyers were socializing with upper management, gaining promotions and financial advantage.

After my children were born, I trained in interior design and became a design consultant for a Sherwin Williams Home Decorating center. After a few years, when I was refused a track for store management, I returned to college for a degree in costume design. I graduated with honors and was selected Phi Beta Kappa, a leadership fraternity. I opened a design studio, Ruth Elaine Couture. After my diagnosis of autism, I began consulting with people who have health challenges in my Chi Field Healthcare business. Currently, I research face blindness.

With a rapidly changing world, we need to build skills for several careers, so we can prepare for emerging opportunities as communication and technology fields expand.

Anita Lesko

My career found me. I did not specifically go out and find it. It was a chain of events that led me to becoming an anesthetist. I think this is common for many people. Often your passion for something will lead you down the path to your future career. Always maintain an open mind and never fret over a missed opportunity. When one door closes, keep hunting for another to open. Don't always think in terms of a direct approach to getting your dream job. You may have to find an indirect avenue to arrive there.

Choosing a career is obviously a very important decision. You might be doing it the rest of your life. And you will spend a significant amount of time at your job each week. You generally spend more waking moments there than with your family. For that reason you need to like what you do!

One of your special interests might turn into a lifelong passion. This may be something that can earn you an income. Don't be afraid to talk to people who might be able to help you enter a career field. Plenty of people achieve their career goals through help from others along the way. No one makes it completely on his or her own. Someone gave them a break at some point.

Temple Grandin assembled a list of career choices that are best suited for people on the Autism Spectrum. It is a great list with numerous jobs. They are specific jobs that capitalize on our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. That list can be found in her book The Way I See it. Obvious jobs that might not be good choices would include those dealing with the public or large numbers of people, or jobs where there's lots of noise or bright lights; environments of chaos should simply be avoided. Having said this, the sensory overload that I just mentioned actually describes my job—I would not recommend being an anesthetist to a young Aspie! However, internet technology and "thinking" jobs done in peaceful surroundings are great choices. Physical jobs, such as landscaping, are also good.

Perhaps you are undecided about what career to choose. Spend a good amount of time researching careers that are in demand. Make a list of them. If you are in high school or college, talk to your guidance counselor. That's what they are there for. After you generate the list, analyze how someone with Asperger's would succeed at each job. Think about things like social interaction. How much would the job require? What would the environment be like? The very best way to truly discover what a particular job is like is to personally find out. Is there an opportunity to be a volunteer at the job, or to shadow someone there to see what they are doing? Perhaps there is some sort of internship program at a particular institution. Be assertive. Get your foot in the door. Once you have it ajar, you'll get in the rest of the way! Be persistent, and never, ever give up. If you want that job, by golly, go get it!

Don't be afraid to take a lower level job that allows opportunity to climb the ladder of success. Always remember: once you have your foot in the door you are halfway there. With perseverance you can make the other half happen. Believe in yourself, think positive and follow your dream, and never let anyone tell you that you can't do something. If they do, work twice as hard to prove them wrong!

REFERENCE

Grandin, T. (2011) The Way I See It, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition: A Personal Look at Autism and Asperger's. Arlington, TX: Future Horizons.

Debbie Denenburg

I laugh uncontrollably when I get on this subject. I have always said I'll be dead of old age before I ever decide what I want to be when I grow up.

I didn't start out that way. When I was a little kid, I wanted to perform. I loved TV and the stage. I adored singing and dancing. At the ripe old age of four someone sat me down on a piano in a crowded restaurant. The pianist began playing a song I knew and I sang it for the whole place. I loved it! Nowadays I would still welcome the opportunity to perform, but I would want to act. I am enthralled with the thought of getting out of my own head and becoming an entirely different identity for a while. I would completely submerse myself in that.

Unfortunately, things didn't go the way I wanted them to as far as my career was concerned. I was completely discouraged from pursuing what I really wanted, so I gave up on it. I ended up letting others choose what I would do for a living based on what was available in the way of employment. It's been a very weird journey. I worked in so many varied jobs that I couldn't begin to categorize them into groups. One thing I learned is that when I have work, I throw my whole being into it. I love to work. I love to write and I am an artist. I love to sell stuff, so I am forever listing things on websites where I think I can make a buck. I am also enrolling in school again to go for a bachelor's degree in graphic arts.

When choosing a career, my advice would be to start with what you are passionate about. This is actually old advice going back many generations and preached by many people. The way to tell what you love is to recognize that you have no hesitation about it. No fear. You are ready to dive in headfirst and soak your soul in the satisfaction of just doing it.

Charli Devnet

This is an area where I wish that I had had better guidance in my youth. A nudge in the right direction would have saved me many years of turmoil and despair and resulted in a far happier and more productive life.

You see, early on, I was given a warped idea of what a career was. Shortly before I entered high school, the corporate giant IBM had built a headquarters in the remote rustic region of upstate New York where I was then living. IBM employed a lot of people, and the folks that worked for IBM earned the fattest wages of anyone in that backwater town. It was tacitly assumed that we scholastically advanced students desperately desired a career at IBM, or in some similar corporate environment. The less advanced students were offered more palatable options—farmer, auto mechanic, cashier, cook—but all that was dangled before my eyes was the ice palace of IBM. The prospect scared me to the core.

I was well into adulthood before I realized what should have been so obvious. Many people flourish and thrive in careers that do not involve a windowless cubicle or a three-piece suit.

What do I wish a mentor had told me?

•Hold fast to your interests: The right choice of career is already there inside of you, if you can find it. Growing up Aspie usually includes the hungry acquisition of facts in specific areas. You may well have become an expert in some esoteric subject, while lacking knowledge in more relevant concerns: how to fight off bullies, for example.

As a child, I was fascinated by Greek mythology. I was a walking encyclopedia for the gods and goddesses of Mt. Olympus. This obsession of mine was occasionally considered a danger. Parents actually called the school to complain that I was spreading paganism among their sixth-graders! Most often, however, it was fobbed off as so much useless knowledge. "We're tired of hearing about Apollo and Aphrodite," said my parents. "Why don't you learn something that might lead to a job?" With a little encouragement, I could have parlayed my special interest into a career in museum work, in archeology, or teaching ancient history and comparative religions.

•Consider the work environment and not just the paycheck: Neurotypicals judge the worth of work by its salary. Jobs with the highest paycheck are deemed the most desirable. However, the bitter truth is that, leaving aside those scientists in Silicon Valley, the most lucrative jobs may not be Aspie-friendly. All companies have their protocols, and some place great emphasis upon projecting a corporate image or being a team player. When Michael Bloomberg was elected Mayor of New York, the media trumpeted Mr. Bloomberg's preference for the "open office." The mayor likes his employees to work together in one large room, constantly interacting, no separate offices, not even cubicles. When I heard this, I shuddered and murmured, "Not for a million dollars."

•Who will your co-workers be? Even if you do not excel at being a team player, you will probably have to spend time with colleagues and clients. For some, the socialization is desirable. However, if you absolutely cannot work with other people, you might want to select a career that allows you to do most of your work alone, such as writer, researcher or archivist. Or you might choose a field that allows you to work with animals, like veterinarian, rancher or zookeeper. Or you might be happiest in a career where people are more tolerant of your quirkiness, such as academia or the arts.

Dr. Patrick Suglia

Most successful people with Asperger's that I know (including myself) have always followed their instincts, which led them to their choice of career. Their interests started early on, either long ago in childhood or by trying out different hobbies and pursuits over the years. But where do you start when you haven't a clue? Indeed this is a source of frustration for college-aged students and adults who seemed to have fallen by the wayside. The absolute best place you can start is your local Workforce or Skills Assessment Center. There you will be able to receive, at no cost to you, skills assessments that will help you in determining what your strengths and weaknesses are. You may be surprised to find areas you are actually interested in, just as I pretty much stumbled upon areas myself over the years. You will be assigned a counselor who will oversee and guide your progress and will help you with finding the right job.

These centers, as well as your local community college, also offer free programs to give people the skills they need to make their own assessments. One very good self-assessment tool I recommend is the Clifton StrengthsFinder exam (Rath 2007; see also www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/purchase). The results will accurately point out untapped potentials you may have lying in your personality or psychological makeup that have yet to be discovered. An equally important tool is the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator scale (www.myersbriggs.org). This test is often given among the myriad tests administered to diagnose your Autism Spectrum Disorder. This tool is very helpful at identifying your specific personality type and the strengths and weaknesses of that type. Many larger-named employers use the MBTI when considering candidates for certain positions. Therefore it's very helpful to know what they might find out about you ahead of time.

There is no one way to know what you would enjoy doing unless you actually do it. Don't feel bad about going through several jobs before finding something you feel comfortable with. Many people find out what they like through trial and error. Assessment tools and personality tests are mere indicators of what you would be good at. On-the-job experience is the best judge. As the old saying goes, "Do what you love, all else follows." Don't compromise your psychological and physical well-being just to have a "job." Although having a job to get yourself on your feet is necessary, having a career that you put your heart and soul into is what will assure your success.

In addition to centers for evaluation and self-assessment tools, you can always do things the way most people do early on in life, and that is to join a special interest group. Are you interested in astronomy, meteorology, carpentry, auto mechanics or computers? A great way to find like-minded people with similar interests in your area is to go online to www.meetup.com and find a group. You'd be surprised at what's out there. Over the years, when my business went through slow times, this website was the key avenue I found toward discovering other interests. If I didn't have a clue as to what I might be interested in, I simply guessed. Show up, give it a shot, and go from there. You never know until you try. One thing to keep in mind is that as you're going through the self-discovery process, doors might not automatically open. If you have an interest and you continue to pursue it, the right opportunities to make it your career will eventually show up.

REFERENCE

Rath, T. (2007) StrengthsFinder 2.0. Victoria Park, Western Australia: Gallup Press.
Dr. Tony Attwood's Advice on Choosing a Career

From my extensive clinical experience, over many decades, I have come to the realization that any job is possible for a person with an ASD, from astronaut to zoo keeper. The range of careers can include the expected ones, such as those in engineering, information technology, accounting and science, but also the less obvious, such as those in fine art, music, writing and involvement in all aspects of the film industry. I have known adults with an ASD who have been successful in the caring professions, from nursing and psychiatric medicine to veterinary science and zoo keeping, as well as the military, police force and politics. Thus, there is no automatic restriction on choice of career for someone who has an ASD.

How does a person make the decision on which career to follow? The first option may be to see if there are employment prospects related to a special interest or talent that is associated with the person's personality or profile of ASD characteristics. For example, a childhood special interest in Lego that develops during adolescence into an intense interest in the design of machines could become the basis and predictor of a successful career in mechanical engineering. There are certain careers where specialist knowledge is valued by an employer, for example academia, where the person with an ASD can actually be paid and encouraged to pursue a special interest. I strongly recommend, therefore, that adolescents have a detailed assessment of their abilities during their high school years to identify whether a special interest could be the foundation of a potential career.

Equally, a person may possess specific talents and skills associated with their ASD. For example, they may be able to sing with perfect pitch, draw with photographic realism, identify patterns and errors, or display a particular talent with logic. Any of these skills and more may benefit from being nurtured and enhanced, so parents may consider private tuition throughout childhood and adolescence to augment such skills, since they could well have employment potential in the future.

Whether or not a child shows talents and skills in a particular area, it is important that they are encouraged to develop social skills that will enable them to fit into a workplace in the future. They will need guidance particularly in learning to recognize that criticism is a means for learning and improving; that a dull, boring task may not be your dream, but you can learn from it; that it is important to always do the best job you can no matter what it is; and that politeness, good hygiene and appropriate dress are essential factors in terms of acceptance in the workplace.

While certain areas of specialist knowledge may mean that a person with an ASD will be highly sought after for their expert advice, nevertheless most people will need at some point to go through the interview process to secure a job. The Aspie mentors offer some wise advice regarding this.

They also suggest that there is great value in volunteering (preferably in an area that is of particular interest), as it gives a person priceless experience in performing a given function, being punctual, working cooperatively and assuming responsibility. It is the pathway to getting a real, paid job, and at the same time provides a great opportunity and potential network connections.

In the past, before computer technology (and I often suspect that computers were originally designed by people with an ASD for people with an ASD!), those with an ASD often sought careers as craftsmen, such as watchmakers, jewellers, carpenters and so on; in other words, solitary pursuits where the emphasis was on high quality rather than mass production. There would probably have been relatively little stress at work compared to modern-day employment, where the emphasis is on production rates and social networking. Any career or specific employment position must be evaluated in terms of stress levels, including unexpected changes in the job requirements, the workload, and the social and interpersonal dynamics of the job. The person with an ASD will need to be well versed in strategies for stress management, as this will contribute significantly to their having a successful career.

The Aspie mentors also make frequent mention of the need for a good attitude regarding employment. This includes knowing how to be polite, take instruction, avoid workplace politics and keep opinions to oneself. Another important aspect that requires attention is the tendency by a person with an ASD to have a "one-track mind" regarding their choice of career. For example, they may have a strong belief that a particular career is the only one for them, and thus be reluctant to consider any other option. This approach will be disadvantageous, especially if the person does not have the necessary skills or ability to achieve the required qualifications for the job, or if the position is highly sought after and the number of applications far exceeds the number of job vacancies. It is wise, therefore, to be much more open-minded to all possibilities. Several career options should be considered—not forgetting that today it is very common to have several different careers during a lifetime.

The Aspie mentors have provided wide-ranging and wise advice and great encouragement for one of the more daunting aspects of adolescence and young adulthood, namely, "What career should I choose?"

3D Graphic: Quiet Room

Artist: Derran Rootring

Artist's Commentary: I enjoy creating 3D graphics and animations with the computer, because of the unlimited possibilities. As a visual thinker, it enables me to communicate in a different way and helps me to give shape to my imagination. I often get into hyper-focus while working and get absorbed by the computer screen in front of me. The world around me seems to fade away and I'm able to escape in an infinite virtual world where anything is possible.

Painting: Fork in the Road

Artist: Michael Tolleson

Artist's Commentary: This painting tells an engaging story. Much like the Robert Frost poem "The Road Not Taken," here is a person who has reached a point in their life where decisions must be made. For the onlooker and the person standing, there is no right or wrong road. As we travel down the chosen road we can look back, but with any life-changing decision, we will never make that exact choice again. The color of the painting is bright, for all choices seem bright and promising.
About the Aspie Mentors

Larry Moody

 Year of birth: 1950

Country where I am currently living: USA

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: I routinely think outside the box, and I'm not overly concerned about what people think of me... I know who I am and what I'm capable of. I march to a definitely different drum!

Least favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: I just can't seem to appropriately interpret people's facial expressions, thus I miss out on a lot of the unspoken communications around me, resulting in many social faux pas.

Last completed level of education: Bachelor of Science in civil engineering.

Current job: I retired early from engineering, at age 50, successful and wealthy. I am currently on the Board of Directors of two non-profits, the Autism Society of Minnesota, and Autism Works. I also function as a speaker and advocate on autism issues.

One line of advice I would give to someone with Asperger's/HFA: Be persistent. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

One line of advice I would like the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: We are different, not defective... Whatever your estimate of us is, it's wrong! If we can discover our gifts and talents, and can find the resources to develop them, watch out! We will astound and amaze you with what we can do.

Richard Maguire

 Year of birth: 1966

Country where I am currently living: United Kingdom

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: It's an adventure, fun being different and being an original thinker.

Least favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Anxiety, tiredness and socializing.

Last completed level of education: BA in theology and religion from Oxford Brookes University, January 2010.

Current job: Self-employed, running my own business, Autism Live Training, providing training and mentoring, speaking and autism advice from the point of view of an autistic person.

One line of advice I would give to someone with Asperger's/HFA: Learn to enjoy being Asperger's, take control of your life and make your own luck.

One line of advice I would like the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: We are lively, emotional, feeling people; please become still enough to hear us. We are good to have around and have much to share.

Lars Perner

 Year of birth: 1954

Country where I am currently living: USA

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Having a novel way of looking at the world.

Least favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Sensory vulnerabilities.

Last completed level of education: Ph.D., Marketing, University of Southern California, 1998.

Current job: Assistant Professor of Clinical Marketing, Marshall School of Business, University of Southern California.

One line of advice I would give to someone with Asperger's/HFA: Each individual on the spectrum is unique. You may differ significantly from most others on the spectrum on certain variables. Many of us, for example, are anything but visual thinkers!

One line of advice I would like the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: Many people with AS have rather unique skills to contribute to the world and may come up with new ways to look at things. The important thing is to identify the potential of the specific individual.

Ruth Elaine Joyner Hane

 Year of birth: 1940

Country where I am currently living: USA

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: My unusual sense of humor reveals the lighter side of life.

Least favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Sensory overload is most challenging. People expect me to respond and function well in spite of loud environments and major distractions.

Last completed level of education: Bachelor of Science/Home Ecology, magna cum laude.

Current job: Research in vision/prosopagnosia (face blindness).

One line of advice I would like the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: Live fully in this precious moment.

Anita Lesko

 Year of birth: 1959

Country where I am currently living: USA

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Diversity and my "laser focus." Thanks to my Aspergian gifts, my life has included: administering anesthesia; jumping horses over six-foot-high fences in competition; ice dancing; becoming an internationally published military aviation photojournalist; learning to fly a helicopter; writing my autobiography—Asperger's Syndrome: When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade—in two weeks by writing 16 hours each day; heading the development of a hippotherapy center at the world's largest Snoezelen complex; and starting the Flying High with Autism Foundation.

Least favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Asperger's is an invisible syndrome, yet how is it that neurotypicals "see" it immediately, even before you say one word?

Last completed level of education: Proudly graduated from Columbia University in New York City in 1988 with my Master of Science in Nurse Anesthesia.

Current job: I have been working as a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist for the past 25 years, and have been at my current job for 15 years.

One line of advice I would give to someone with Asperger's/HFA: Don't focus on the fact that you have Asperger's. Get out there and use your extraordinary gifts to make a difference in this world!

One line of advice I would like people of the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: Aspies feel like we're from another planet because neurotypicals make us feel that way by their reactions and behaviors towards us. I'd like the world to know that we are real people too, and find it in their minds and hearts to allow us into their world, so we're not always on the outside looking in. Two powerful words of advice: accept difference.

Debbie Denenburg

 Year of birth: 1958

Country where I am currently living: USA

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: I'm usually right! I love researching and giving factual information. This has the result of people trusting what I say.

Least favorite part of Asperger's/HFA: Not being understood. I feel like I say things straight up, but neurotypicals (NTs) seem to think that there is always something unsaid instead of taking my words at face value. This leaves me confused and frustrated.

Last completed level of education: High school.

Current job: The disability benefit is my main income but I always work. I am an artist and I have an Etsy shop online where I sell mostly vintage items. I have also written a movie screenplay. It is in the hands of a filmmaker, but there has been no action on it yet.

One line of advice I would give to someone with Asperger's/HFA: Believe you can be loved for who you truly are.

One line of advice I would like the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: By opening your mind to allow a knowledge of Asperger's, you will be increasing your opportunity to understand a bigger picture of humanity.

Charli Devnet

 Year of birth: 1954

Country where I am currently living: USA

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Being unique.

Least favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Loneliness.

Last completed level of education: Postgraduate degree.

Current job: Tour guide.

One line of advice I would give to someone with Asperger's/HFA: Know yourself. Without self-knowledge, you can acquire a passel of college degrees and never be wise.

One line of advice I would like the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: Give us a chance. We're a lot more fun once you get to know us. We may seem anti-social, rude, stubborn, immature and uncaring, but this may well be due to the painful experiences that many of us have endured in our youth. Sometimes you have to break down the walls to get to us, but it's worth it.

Dr. Patrick Suglia

 Year of birth: 1962

Country where I am currently living: USA

Favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: The creative ways my mind figures things out.

Least favorite part about being Asperger's/HFA: Not being able to get the social clues and making myself look clueless in more ways than one.

Last completed level of education: Professional doctorate.

Current job: Chiropractor.

One line of advice I would give to someone with Asperger's/HFA: Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. Don't take anything personally, and remember that you are never the cause of someone else's frustrations.

One line of advice I would like the world to know about Asperger's/HFA: This isn't going away. We aren't going away. If we did, there'd be nobody around to save your butts when you get into a bind.

Contributing Artists

Derran Rootring, The Netherlands (www.derran.nl/en)

Michael Tolleson, USA (www.artofmichaeltolleson.com)
About the Editors

Tony Attwood

 Tony Attwood, PhD, is a clinical psychologist from Brisbane, Australia, with over 30 years of experience with individuals with autism spectrum disorders. He is currently Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland. He is the best-selling author of The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals. Dr. Tony Attwood's website can be visited at www.tonyattwood.com.au

Craig R. Evans

 Craig R. Evans is stepfather to his stepson Nolan who has Asperger's syndrome. He founded Autism Hangout in 2008, an online discussion forum that reported news, complied facts and community-submitted personal experiences and invited discussion to discover how best to deal with the daily challenges of autism. Although Autism Hangout closed in 2014 the videos can still be accessed at https://www.youtube.com/user/autismhangout

Anita Lesko

 Anita Lesko received an MSc in Anesthesia from Columbia University and works full time as an anesthesiologist. She was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 50. She runs an Asperger's Support Group in her community and she is the founder of The Flying High with Autism Foundation. She is also the author of Asperger Syndrome: When Life Hands you Lemons.
THE 17 STRESSORS

The 17 Ranked Issues that Cause the Most Stress to Someone with Asperger's/HFA*

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#1 Anxiety 98% | Aversion to change 87%

#2 Self-esteem/self-identity 95% | Anxiety 86%

#3 Aversion to change 87% | Meltdowns 83%

#4 Meltdowns 87% | Sensory issues 83%

#5 Depression 87% | Making and keeping friends 82%

#6 Sensory issues 86% | Self-esteem/self-identity 80%

#7 Making and keeping friends 86% | Emotional availability 80%

#8 Personal management issues 85% | Faking it 78%

#9 Intimacy, dating, sex and marriage 85% | Intimacy, dating, sex and marriage 77%

#10 Emotional availability 85% | Depression 76%

#11 Faking it 84% | Disclosing a diagnosis 73%

#12 Getting and keeping a job 83% | Personal management issues 72%

#13 Disclosing a diagnosis 79% | Bullying 72%

#14 Bullying 77% | Getting and keeping a job 69%

#15 Choosing a career 76% | Being diagnosed 61%

#16 Empathetic attunement 75% | Choosing a career 58%

#17 Being diagnosed 67% | Empathetic attunement 58%

*Based on proprietary research conducted by Craig R. Evans in 2012–2013.
For all the Aspie mentor wisdom in one place, read...

 Been There. Done That. Try This!

An Aspie's Guide to Life on Earth

Edited by Tony Attwood, Craig R. Evans and Anita Lesko

ISBN 978 1 84905 964 0

eISBN 978 0 85700 871 8

If you only buy one book to improve your life this year, make it this one.

Temple Grandin, Liane Holliday Willey, Anita Lesko, Stephen M. Shore, and many other Aspie mentors, offer their personal guidance on coping with the daily stressors that Aspies have identified as being the most significant, in order of urgency—anxiety, self-esteem, change, meltdowns, depression, friendship, love, and much, much more. Based on years of personal experience, this book is packed with advice from Aspie mentors who have all been there and done that!

World expert Dr. Tony Attwood rounds up each chapter with professional analysis and extensive recommendations. He includes essential information on destructive strategies that may look attractive, but that have counter-productive effects.

Including full color artwork from Aspie artists showing visually how they interpret each stressor, this is the inspirational guide to life for young adults, the newly diagnosed, and as a life-long reference for anyone on the spectrum—written by Aspies for Aspies.

Other eBooks in this series

An Aspie's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety

eISBN 978 1 78450 119 8

An Aspie's Guide to Overcoming Poor Self-Esteem

eISBN 978 1 78450 120 4

An Aspie's Guide to Accepting and Working with Change

eISBN 978 1 78450 121 1

An Aspie's Guide to Living with Meltdowns

eISBN 978 1 78450 122 8

An Aspie's Guide to Overcoming Depression

eISBN 978 1 78450 123 5

An Aspie's Guide to Living with Sensory Issues

eISBN 978 1 78450 124 2

An Aspie's Guide to Making and Keeping Friends

eISBN 978 1 78450 125 9

An Aspie's Guide to Living with Personal Management Issues

eISBN 978 1 78450 126 6

An Aspie's Guide to Intimacy, Dating, Sex and Marriage

eISBN 978 1 78450 127 3

An Aspie's Guide to Understanding and Expressing Emotions

eISBN 978 1 78450 128 0

An Aspie's Guide to "Faking It"

eISBN 978 1 78450 129 7

An Aspie's Guide to Getting and Keeping a Job

eISBN 978 1 78450 130 3

An Aspie's Guide to Disclosing a Diagnosis

eISBN 978 1 78450 131 0

An Aspie's Guide to Bullying

eISBN 978 1 78450 132 7

An Aspie's Guide to Improving Empathetic Attunement

eISBN 978 1 78450 134 1

An Aspie's Guide to Being Tested for Asperger's/HFA

eISBN 978 1 78450 135 8

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaBook


text:
Salary and Benefits (6)
Applying for Jobs (26)
Starting out in HR (11)
Senior Careers (10)
Meet the Boss (3)
HR Interview Advice (1)
Occupational Health (2)
Thirty seconds to 'sell' yourself—why it pays to have an elevator pitch up your sleeve
Published: 20 Apr 2015 By Stephanie Sparrow
The ability to develop a personal brand has become a pre-requisite for career success. Knowing who you are, and what you stand for, are as important to your credibility as your qualifications.
One of the best ways to convey your "branding" is to develop an elevator pitch— a description of your career achievements and motivation which can be delivered in less than 30 seconds. Having a few engaging words up your metaphorical sleeve means that you are likely to strike the right tone in face- to-face situations such as networking, initial interviews or introducing yourself at a conference or dinner.
"You never know when you might need an elevator pitch", says Lincoln Coutts, head of career transition at Lee Hecht Harrison.
One of the benefits of having an elevator pitch is that in the first minutes of meeting others it can help them to see beyond your job title, says Coutts. "This is important because at a drinks party, for example, opinions are formed about you based on what you do", he says. In other words introducing yourself just in terms of your title, such as 'HR business partner,' on its own might sound bland, or the title could mean something different to people from another organisation, whereas if you summarise your role (such as "I match our peoples' talents to our business objectives"), you help the listener to form a clear picture of your activities and encourage them to find out more.
The pitch should act as a "starting point for discussions", says Coutts, "not a designed 'answer moment'".
Such a starting point will involve others and so, even though you are aiming to talk about yourself, it will not seem one-sided. A "designed answer moment", will exclude discussion and make you sound at best lacking flair, and at worst, boastful.
So how do you strike the right tone? According to leadership psychologist Averil Leimon, an effective elevator pitch draws on "self- knowledge" to show the listener your strengths and key achievements, and in speaking with "humility, but not modesty". She advises clients to start by drafting a statement of 40 words about themselves and to practice delivering it in front of a mirror.
"It's about being professional," says Leimon, who is director of the White Water Group, "plan, prepare and practice". Learning to speak with humility means using phrases like "I chose a great team to help me with this project", which is more honest (and impactful) than "my team ran this project."
Estelle Wackermann, head of business development and marketing at the creative consultancy Wolff Olin, is accustomed to meeting people with flair and passion. She says that pitches should show "what you believe in". This makes others listen to you. "What drives you is compelling to others", she says.
In practice this means describing your career journey, when relevant, in terms of the motivations that drove your journey rather than in a list of jobs and companies. "And this will help you demonstrate that you are in control of your career, rather than jumping from one opportunity to another", she says.
Wackermann also advises that some activities outside your main role be included in the pitch.
"Integrate them into your journey to build a consistent whole", she says. "This could be what you want to blog or tweet about, a paper you've published, or talks you gave."
And finally, all our experts advise that you think when and where to use your pitch and that it suits the occasion. "Adaptability will give you greater confidence as well", says Leimon. For this reason you need to have a couple of elevator pitches at your disposal, and to know your "material", in other words yourself, well enough to hold the listener's interest.
"During an interview for example, there is nothing worse than telling a possible employer what they already know from your LinkedIn page", says Wackermann, "Keep your story fresh and of the moment."
In contrast, when networking (which should be thought of as a way to build new relationships) understand what others may want to learn, and then focus on how you could help them. "Being generous and useful to someone is the first step to a strong and lasting relationship," says Wackermann. "No sales pitch can ever get you that, so make sure to keep your elevator pitch short to start with, and adapt it based on the person you are speaking to, "she says.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Q: Proper CAN bus termination I've been struggling with getting CAN bus transmission to work properly. I'm driving the setup with a Parallax Propeller board and the specifics are in another post, but I have a more specific question about the CAN bus wiring and termination:
Each source I've found that describes CAN bus termination does so with something like the top of the diagram shown below - a high and a low wire with 120ohm resistors at each end.
However, in my lab setup what I actually have is equivalent to the lower part of the diagram shown - the resistance is actually in the "middle", between the two devices.  I've also tried playing with that resistance value, from taking it off entirely, and around 110ohms, as well as 220ohms and they all suffer from the same problem and the chip I'm using is reporting a transmission error.
Two 120ohm resistors in parallel should be the same as 60ohms resistance.  But does the actual position of the resistors along the wire matter?  The devices are physically about 6 feet of wire apart and it's running at 500Khz.  I know some basics including Ohms Law, and I get that CAN uses voltage differential to transmit, but if the position of the resistors is what is wrong then there's definitely something I don't understand about how this circuit is supposed to work.

simulate this circuit – Schematic created using CircuitLab

A: The intent of the resistors at each end of the bus is to control transients due to time delays.  The bus needs to be terminated with its characteristic impedance at each end.
However if the bus is only 6 feet long I would expect your implementation with a 60 ohm resistor in the middle to work.  I expect you have some other problem.
You do need to have a device configured to receive the CAN packet and return an ACK to not have an error from the transmitter - some CAN bus monitors do not do so as they are expected to be non-intrusive.  In that case you will get an error from the transmitter if there is no other node.
You may need to put another normal CAN node on the network to get the correct response.

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REVIEW – The Passage Season 1 Episode 7 – "You Are Like The Sun"
February 25, 2019 James Witham Leave a comment
(WARNING! CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SEASON 1 EPISODE 7 OF THE PASSAGE!)
I'll admit it, this is the episode of The Passage that I have been both looking forward to and dreading for a while. The reason for that is, when the season began, Mark-Paul Gosselaar told me during our interview, that this is the episode we would find out what happened with Brad and Lila's daughter. What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that there was going to be a lot of blame and a lot of guilt to spare in this week's episode. So, how is it possible that the episode is titled, "You Are Like The Sun"? Let's find out.
First, I think we really need to rip the band-aid off here. We know that Brad and Lila are trapped in the trunk of a car, headed for certain execution thanks to Guilder. While they are trapped, we start to see flashbacks of what happened with their daughter. I know this is supposed to be a spoiler filled review/recap, but I won't go through every little detail. Brad takes his daughter to a party after soccer practice alone, because Lila was asked to do a surgery. When picking up the supplies, there was one thing missing, so Brad went to a store across the street to get the item. When he did, the store was being robbed. His daughter walks in on the robbery, and you can probably guess what happened. We already know what this did to Brad and Lila, but we get to see the aftermath play out even more. We even get to see why Brad ended up on the path to Project NOAH in the first place.
As it turns out, they both blame themselves for what happened to their daughter. This realization seems to be really freeing for the both of them, and it almost seems like they have reached a point where they may be able to start over. That is, until they are found and once again facing execution. Luckily, Richards saves the day and tells the both of them that he now wants to help them get Amy out. On the ride back to Project NOAH, Brad reveals to Lila that he murdered their daughter's killer. This seemed like the final weight lifted off of Brad's shoulders. All of the guilt has finally come out, and Lila is just there for him. You could really feel how tough of a moment this was, but they seemed to both find acceptance in it. Even though I knew what was coming for this family, I still wasn't prepared for it. Man was Brad a good father! I wish we could have seen more of Lila as a mom too, but we did not get much of that. You really understand why Brad wants to save Amy so badly, but Lila reminds him that the two situations are not the same. We'll get back to Amy in a second.
First, I want to talk about Dr. Lear and his wife, who is losing her battle to the virus. Lear and Sykes have tried everything, and nothing seems to be working. To make things worse, Guilder is looking at a completely overhaul of Project NOAH, starting with revoking Sykes' security clearance. After countless rounds of anti-virals, and worsening vital signs, it looks like Lear may finally have to let his wife go. Meanwhile, Fanning is convinced that Elizabeth will choose him over her husband. He comes to her and tries to convince her. In her final moments, she chooses her husband and letting the virus kill her. The guilt pouring off of Dr. Lear is palpable. The writers really did a good job turning him into a sympathetic figure in such a short period of time. The introduction of Guilder as a villain that's easy to hate definitely helped this along. Lear blames himself, and quite frankly he probably should, but in this moment you really do feel for him. What we don't really get is Fanning's reaction to this choice, but this won't be the last time we see him.
As it turns out, Amy has been holding on to plenty of guilt herself. Guilder pays her a visit to tell her that Brad has left, which Amy doesn't buy for a minute. She makes a joke about his moustache, which was definitely long overdue. That's when Amy gets another visit, this time from Carter in the Viral world. Carter tells Amy that Fanning is coming for her, and then tries to prepare her for what's coming. He tells her that Fanning will try to use her guilt against her, and then really starts to push Amy about her mom. You see, that's the problem with literally sharing a mind with someone. Problem is, if Carter knows, Fanning certainly knows. Carter finally gets Amy to admit that she feels like her mom's death was her fault because she said some mean things during a fight with her mom. While Carter didn't help her directly, he did tell her that she was powerful enough to go wherever she wanted. What happened next was obvious, she goes back home to see her mom. You gain a whole new respect for her mom during this scene. Sometimes all you need to do is talk to your mom to set your mind at ease. Amy pours her heart out, not only apologizing, but telling her mom that she is worried about becoming a monster. Calm as can be, mom tells Amy that she knows what kind of a girl she raised, then that's where the title of this episode comes in. She also gives her what looks like a matchbook with a picture of a sun on it. You have to think that this will come into play at some point. It may do that sooner rather than later, because there is a knock at the door. Amy knows it's time to face her fears head on, because when she opens the door, Fanning is standing there waiting for her. Talk about an epic cliffhanger!
This really was the most emotional episode of the season. We heard a lot of hard truths, and even a quick admission by Babcock that she actually has feelings for Richards. THAT I did not expect! For a show that we knew from the beginning would only have 10 episodes, the writers have done an amazing job at character building. Several times while watching this episode, I wanted to just hit that pause button so I wouldn't have to see what was next. This wasn't a horror element or even science fiction. This was an element of pure, character driven drama. That doesn't just happen in shows like this, certainly not in this short amount of time. Credit to not only the writers, but the amazing actors for bringing such realness and truth to these moments. Of course, now I am just freaking out about Amy facing off against Fanning for the first time!
Will the meeting with Amy's mom be the key to fighting off Fanning? Will Guilder completely screw things up and be the reason the Virals get released? Are things really ok now between Brad and Lila? What about Sykes and Richards? We only have a few episodes left this season to find out!
(Photo Credit:© 2019 FOX Broadcasting.
Cr. Erika Doss / FOX.)
Posted in: TV Reviews Filed under: Fox, The Passage
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HomeBooksInterview With Edgar Awards Winner Jess Armstrong
Books Interviews
Interview With Edgar Awards Winner Jess Armstrong
Minotaur Books and the Mystery Writers of America introduced the winner of their annual "First Crime Novel Competition" at the 76th annual Edgar Awards Banquet on April 28 in New York City. Jess Armstrong, who lives and writes in New Orleans, won for her novel The Curse of Penryth Hall, which will be published in 2023.
"Jess impressed us right away with the lyrical descriptions and passionate characters in her novel, The Curse of Penryth Hall," says Vice President and Associate Publisher at Minotaur Books Kelley Ragland. "Her Gothic mystery is set in 1920s Cornwall and features an unforgettable heroine in Ruby Vaughn, who must overcome the power of the village's long-held legends in order to catch a killer. "
Armstrong has a master's degree in American History but prefers writing about imaginary people to the real thing. She lives in New Orleans with her historian husband, two sons, yellow cat, speckled dog and the world's two most pampered school-fair goldfish. When she's not working on her next project, she's probably thinking about cheese, baking, tweeting or some combination of the above. We interviewed Armstrong by email about winning the competition, how she's inspired by the Southern Gothic imagery of New Orleans and what she's reading this summer.
Erin Z. Bass: How does it feel to be the winner of a "First Crime Novel Competition" from the Mystery Writers of America?
Jess Armstrong: It is such an incredible honor to have won this contest. Honestly, it's still a little surreal. When I initially entered the contest, I knew there would be a ton of submissions and I never really imagined that my book would be the one that was chosen. So when I got the call in late March and a New York number popped up on my caller ID, I really thought it was going to end up being spam or something, but answered anyway. I was so surprised when it was Madeline Houpt (my now editor) on the other end of the line, who told me I'd won. I was completely surprised.
Since then, with each step in the process, the reality has set in and I am getting more and more excited to share my heroine Ruby Vaughn and her adventures at Penryth Hall with the world.
EZB: The title of your winning novel is The Curse of Penryth Hall. What is Penryth Hall, and why did you choose Cornwall for the setting?
JA: Penryth Hall is this forbidding and decaying manor house located in a fictional town north of Bodmin Moor towards Cornish coast. Why Cornwall? It's funny in a way, because I think Cornwall chose me for this one instead of the other way around.
I knew right away that I wanted to incorporate folklore into the underlying mystery. I also knew that I wanted to set the story in the first few years after the first World War. To me, the time period is so interesting with the rapid changes and the tension between tradition and modernity. So as I started digging into primary sources trying to figure out exactly how to tell the story, Cornwall with its deep folk tradition and ruggedly gorgeous landscape jumped out as the natural setting.
EZB: You live in New Orleans, a city that embodies Southern Gothic. Where do you find inspiration there?
JA: It's going to sound silly, but everywhere. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street, by the same house that I've walked by thousands of times, and something will strike me and I'll start down the "what if …" road. It might be the way the light comes through a live oak canopy and casts a shadow across the asphalt, or it might be watching the sunset from a neighbor's porch. There's an almost ever-present weight to living in the city, for good and bad that imbues every aspect of life and I really think that bleeds over to my writing whether I mean to or not.
In a lot of ways, for me, New Orleans is a sensory experience. It's the scent, the feel, the taste. There's nowhere I've been that feels quite the same. And there's really no denying that it's beautiful here, but beneath that beauty is this undercurrent of history and tragedy. It's a duality that simmers just beneath the surface which in itself is kind of a Gothic imagery isn't it? The hidden truths, the pain, the past. I think it's hard to live here and not be reminded that everything has a complex past. And sometimes that past isn't very pretty.
EZB: Your Twitter profile says you're a "stress-baker." What are some of your favorite things to bake, and do you think up story or plot ideas while baking?
JA: Oh gosh, everything? That's not quite true, I don't like making fiddly stuff— I just don't have the patience for it. I do a lot of cakes and cookies, but I absolutely love making bread (also eating bread). Pre-pandemic I had a wild yeast starter and was making sourdoughs all the time—of course when the pandemic hit I managed to kill it. I feel like I'm the only person I know who actually stopped making bread during lockdown. I'm back at it, though. Working with dough is really relaxing for me. It's also great for working out sticky plot points or venting frustrations. Plus kneading is a serious upper body workout. Especially bagel dough, which is very stiff. If I spend 10 to 15 minutes of tossing around 4-5 lbs of dough, it'll get me through any plot problems!
EZB: Your novel will be published in 2023, so what are you working on next?
JA: Next up is another historical murder mystery. This one is also set in the interwar period and focuses on a lady social pages writer who secretly also runs a gossip column that targets and exposes powerful and corrupt men. Of course, her work puts her in the center of a murder investigation. So, I guess you could say it'd be along the lines of Lady Whistledown meets Agatha Christie with extra murder.
EZB: How do you plan to survive the summer heat in New Orleans, and what books will you be reading?
JA: I'm weird in that I actually enjoy the New Orleans summer. Everything is a little slower then, probably because it's too hot to move. I spend a lot of time on my porch with a cold drink and my laptop. That being said, I'm fortunate enough to be able to get out of town and to the UK for a couple weeks this year. But I'll be back in time for the joys of hurricane season.
As for books, I've been anxiously waiting on my copy of Lindsey Fitzharris' The Facemaker. I pre-ordered it and am hoping it arrives before I leave. On the fiction side I'm always reading something—usually genre fiction—so I have an ever-growing and changing list depending on what I'm in the mood for. Though I'm particularly excited about B.R. Myers's A Dreadful Splendor, but I have to wait until August to get my hands on that one.
The First Crime Novel Competition, which had its first winner in 2008, provides a previously unpublished writer an opportunity to launch his or her career with the Minotaur Books imprint. The winner receives a one-book, $10,000 contract. Minotaur is currently accepting submissions for next year's award.
Jess Armstrong photo by Christy Lorio.
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Just had a few days with my 10-almost 11 year old grandson, Ryan. School's over for summer and it's time to chill. We stayed up late, slept in, splashed around in the pool, made a strange creature out of clay, went walking…..and one of us played video games. Kid summers. The best.
It's taking awhile to get reacclimated to things at home following my time in France and England. I felt like I had been accordion pleated after all the walking….a lot of walking…..and then that wonderful seven, almost eight, hour plane ride home in a few square inches of personal space.
I went for a massage the first day back…..oh, wow, wonderful! For ninety glorious minutes, a lovely Asian (I think she is Chinese) woman kneaded, stretched, and unkinked my bones, joints and muscles from head to toe. Started with reflexology on feet and legs, went on to deep pressure, Swedish and hot stones. Bliss! Not a kink left anywhere. Slept like a baby. FYI if you're in Delaware Co., Pa., try Tai Ji AccuCare in Springfield. No schmaltz, just good solid expertise at a great price. Worth it.
Last night, I went to a big Welcome Back event for World War 2 vets who had been treated to a day in Washington, DC, at the WW II Memorial. They had a great motorcycle escort all the way and three local TV stations covered the party. I don't think they expected the fuss. They deserve that and more.
I'm having problems trying to post photos. Working on it……
London: It's Not For Sissies
history, travel
I can describe getting around London in two words: Im. Possible.
Got in on the Eurostar on Sunday night. It was after 11pm….traffic wasn't bad. We got into our flat near Harrods and hit the beds. Phew!
The view from the front window of our flat. That's Harrods in the middle.
We woke to city sights and sounds, much different from the quiet Normandy countryside we had left. Not until we went out to explore did we find out how many sights and sounds were out there.
Each morning, the Queen's horses came clip clopping down the street, getting their pre-event exercise. The Royal Mews was nearby.
First of all, crossing streets. Impossible. It's bad enough that traffic is coming from the opposite direction, no matter which way you look. But crosswalks, a supposedly safe place to cross, are not at corners, but staggered in various places along the street.
And the traffic!? Impossible. I have never seen such traffic! Cars, taxis, buses, cycles, just swarms of them, they never stop coming. I must say though that the air was cleaner since last time I was there. They have cleaned up those diesels. But the volume, the sheer numbers of motor vehicles……..
Yes, that is a gold Ferrari. No, it is not my rental.
That makes surface travel ….. impossible. We did one of those hop on-hop off bus trips, thinking to save time finding the places we wanted to see: Westminster Abbey, The Tower, St. Paul's, etc. It took HOURS and we got a nice sunburn sitting on top of the bus. Sunburnt in London…..not impossible this trip.
Actually, it was kind of hot. London hot, not Philadelphia hot, but still. And adding to the heat were the masses of people crowding the city. Gangs of them.
To begin with, Britain was celebrating the DDay landings. People from all over the Isles jammed the city, joined by people from Commonwealth countries and former possessions. Many Middle Easterners and Africans. Asians. Europeans. You could hear a different language every few feet you walked. And you walked ssssslllloooowly.
The Queen was back home, the Royal Standard was flying over Buckingham Palace, and the guard needed changing. Let's all get over there!
It was Prince Philip's 93rd birthday. We need a 42 gun salute and let's close a few streets to traffic near the salute venue, just in case it's not confusing enough to get around.
Somewhere in there, Prince Philip is taking his birthday salute in Hyde Park.
But mostly, Saturday, June 14 marks the Queen's official birthday celebration, a huge event. Another reason for crowds! And more events! And street closings!
At Westminster Abbey, there was noticeable police presence and admission to the Abbey would be 'delayed'. Well, that was worth the wait because this event included Prince Charles as the senior royal in attendance. I waved; I don't think he noticed, though.
Prince Charles is flanked by Abbey potentates. See him there in the middle?
So even though I did manage to see and do most of what I planned, I gave up on a lot of other things simply because getting around was: IMPOSSIBLE!
Now back in France, in Paris. They aren't celebrating WW II until August, on the anniversary of the Liberation of Paris. Their Bastille Day is not for another month. And it's nobody's birthday. Hoo-rah. Much less traffic. Easier to cross the street. Ok, too crowded at the Eiffel Tower, but I've been up there several times so……
Now relaxing. A lot to be said for this relaxing thing. Talk to ya later!
D-Day +70 Years
history, travel, WW II
I'm skipping over yesterday and heading right into today: June 6, 2014.
It's about 3:25 pm here and we just left the American Cemetery at Colleville. Thing is, we arrived there before 8 this morning.
And we got up at 4:30 so we could leave the hotel at 5:30 so we could get our security clearance credentials so we could get to the ceremony on time.
We did, particularly since the show didn't start til10:45.
On the way, massive security in place everywhere. Roads closed all across Normandy. Police, soldiers, roadblocks, bomb sniffing dogs, paratroops of our 82nd Airborne Division.
We were pulled into a checkpoint; passports scanned, bus thoroughly vetted. Funny incident: the dogs were checking the underneath luggage holds…..they run right on in and start sniffing all around. The one checking
our bus started barking. Soldiers came racing over, gendarmes yelling real loud in French. Bus driver and guide have no idea what's going on. Concerned looks are exchanged. Lots of Frenchness exploding.
Finally, we stand down from red alert. Turns out the dog got a whiff of our lunches, secured in a cooler in the hold.
Meanwhile, we sat. Sat some more. Then trickled our way to Colleville.
Where we went through more security and sat some more.
It was great to see how proud those old warriors were, waiting for the Presidents of France and the United States. Frail, some of them, sitting in wheelchairs, accompanied by children, grandchildren…even great grandchildren. Wearing their uniforms from back in the day….or maybe part of a uniform. And their medals, all shined up and in rows across their chests.
So hard to imagine them as cocky young guys barely in their twenties…..many younger…..who took on such an enormous task.
The local people of France were there, too, to greet them and to offer sincere gratitude for the privilege to be born in a free country.
In the crowd were some Comanche Code Talkers. What an honor to see them. Their contribution to the war was incredible. Only the USA has people who can use their unwritten native language to confound the enemy. (See my later post on the Comanche Code Talkers.)
I don't recall much about the speeches from the presidents. President Hollande spoke with much passion; President Obama spoke longer but it wasn't a bad speech. Just not memorable.
The Presidents placed this wreath, with assistance from the veterans.
French Marines helping with crowd control.
Eventually, the event was over and we were cleared to leave the cemetery. Unfortunately, this is where chaos erupted.
Total. Chaos.
Considering how smooth the logistics went on getting TO the ceremony, getting FROM the ceremony was just horrendous. No one knew what to do. Who should go where. To get on which bus. That would, or might, be going where you wanted to go. The gendarmes had made all the buses clear out to a holding area five kilometers away. But letting them return over those secured roads…well, that's gonna take some time.
I attended the 50th Anniversary of D-Day Ceremonies in 1994, with my dad, my son and my sister. Things then were even worse, actually, so while I wasn't particularly surprised, I did think that things might have been ironed out a little better after twenty years.
But no.
We had all been separated at the ceremony, so there were people from our tour wandering around the parking lots searching for familiar faces. Any faces. We were really, really hungry…it was past noon and we'd been on the road since O Dark Hundred that morning. We wanted those lunches that had been ok'ed by the sniffing dog. Tempers frayed, faces broiled in the sun, we were worried about our older companions. The guide contacted the driver but the gendarmes wouldn't let the bus through back to the cemetery.
We sat. We shared water and some kind of Army rations ( don't do this) with guys from the 82nd. Who also were stuck. I am very patient particularly when there's nothing else to be done. But we were all just so tired….
We are still not sure how we managed it, but at long LONG last, the driver called and said, "J'arrive!" I am here!
So as I said, we started the trudge back to our hotel almost three and a half hours after the presidents' departure let us free. Well, it sure was a memorable experience.
Back at the hotel, everyone who was able showed up at the bar for a replay. More chaos, but much more congenial!
A contingent of Brits were staying, including the Command Sergeant Major of the Irish Rangers. He was telling us how he'd been chatting with Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall while having a break in the British events at Arromanches. I'm pretty sure that's what he was saying. He had a really, really thick accent….I did a lot of smiling and nodding while he talked.
I think we may have become engaged at one point. Not sure.
The Boys From Philly (oh, I haven't mentioned them yet? Much more about them coming soon!) held court, and wound up inviting the SGM to the Irish Week celebrations in North Wildwood, New Jersey. But he can't come in that British uniform. This will be SOME clambake. Those of you who are in the vicinity should go!
I don't know when the festivities broke up. I just know I wasn't there because I went to bed and slept the sleep of the innocent. The exhausted innocent.
D Day – 4 and other musings
Met a young man yesterday who was at a baby's christening celebration. It came out during our conversation that I was going to France for the D Day remembrance and he told me that he really wanted to be there with his 90 year old dad but his status as a new father (to a two-week old boy) prevented the trip. They had gone to Normandy in 2008 for a tour of the beaches. His dad was in the 29th Infantry back in the day; that outfit was hit hard in the invasion. He mentioned the St. Lo breakout…my dad's bunch took part in that, too. Funny, these connections life tosses at you. Thank you, Mike, for sharing some of your stories with me. Also enjoyed meeting your pretty wife, Jordan.
Still tying up loose ends here on the home front: checking the weather forecasts for Bayeux for the rest of the week, and it looks like a little bit of everything. Friday, June 6, apparently will be dry and kind of warm. Good news for sure.
Also picking up a few euros at the bank. Better exchange rates than at the airport. Good to have a little cash in hand.
My wonderful son Mike and my 'baby' brother Jim are house sitting for me. Check. Making copies a passports and credit card info in case of disaster. Check. Gathering all the charging devices for the electronic gadgets. Check, I think.
I'm taking my Ipad, cell phone, digital camera….and the implements needed to charge them overnight…..plus gizmos to give them a fast jolt. If I forget one of these, I'm doomed. Gotta stay connected, right? I figure that at some point I will just put all this stuff away and be in the moment!
Tomorrow's liftoff is @6 pm. Let's see how the travel experience goes…..from scanning vouchers for boarding passes to having the approved size and shape luggage to getting through security without setting off alarms by carrying more than one ounce liquids. It ain't your grandma's way to travel, that's for sure!


Dual core dual system, faster, more responsive.
Two different ways to open and close, with the remote control and the spinning roulette.
Easy and firm installation with the external mounting plate.
Remote controls with digital conversation system, it cannot be decoded or duplicated.
Long service life, made of stainless steel.
Power saving mode and low battery consumption.
Once the main batteries are depleted, you can operate the backup battery.
The bottom panel design makes installation easier and firmer.
The lock tongue and main parts are made of stainless steel, without fading.
Suit in: office/home/hotel/Anti-theft door/Corridor door/Wooden doors/garage door and etc.
If all the controls are lost or the lock cannot be opened with controls, there is an emergency opening mode.
When installing the lock, note the place where the emergency opening point is located.
In case of needing to use the emergency opening, a hole of 3 to 4mm must be drilled in the door where the emergency opening is located. Once the drill is done, use a screwdriver to turn the screw and open the lock.


Smoking with retired Maker's Mark Bourbon Barrel tops and bungs adding flavor and depth on the grill at Varanese Restaurant in Louisville, Kentucky. Chef and Proprietor John Varanese shows us how in this video episode. The BBQ rub and the caramelizing sugars…mmmm watch.
Come see where the bourbon barrels are born. Kentucky Cooperage, on Main Street in Lebanon, Ky., gives free tours. In fact, you can book the Heart of Kentucky Bourbon & Barrels Getaway at http://www.VisitLebanonKy.com. You'll have a great Bourbon Country experience. Maker's Mark Distillery is just outside downtown Lebanon.