After living away from my family for 17 years I was convinced by my brother that my mothers living situation was in such horrible state that I needed to consider moving home. My mother is a hoarder so every room in the house was packed full of a hodge podge of treasure and trash, all co-mingled and creating a safety issue.
I moved home a year ago and between working a full time job and sifting through all the stuff I was able to move in to better take control of the situation.
My siblings fit the old adage " Hell is packed with good intentions" My younger brother lends a hand but he does it at an arms length. My older sister can not deal with anything negative and is a string of excuses when it actually comes down to getting her hands dirty.
My oldest brother is completely worthless and has little to no contact with us.
I feel abandoned and lonely, my finances since moving in are severely strained due to my mothers unpaid bills and fixing the physical property of the home that has been so neglected for all these years.
The only bright part of my exisistence is my two dogs and cat. I have no social life since I spend every waking moment cleaning up the hoard or working.
I resent my sister the most who has no job, a grown son and a husband but yet can find no time to set aside from her crafting activities to help her mother. She spends more time behind the church pew then with her own mother.
I just want to run away and hide but I am stuck.
This sounds like a nightmare for you! How on earth are you coping?
Hoarding is a psychological problem that needs professional intervention but I'm sure you know that!
You don't say what your relationship with your mum is like. Do you love her and want to help her, or are you doing this because of bullying from your siblings or a sense of duty? If it's duty, then I suggest you walk away and leave it to the professionals, however, if you really care and want to help, then, please get get help! You clearly cannot deal with this alone, nor should you try, your own emotional health is at risk, try to see it as you would if your mum was walking the streets naked, I guess you'd insist on outside help then!
Under the best of circumstances having to care for an elderly parent single-handed is a daunting task. Throw in the "hoarding" problem and the problem just escalates exponentially.
My 76-year-old mother refuses to acknowledge that her hoarding is making it impossible for me to help her in any productive way. Her idea of "help" is requiring me to make it possible for her to continue to live in too-big a home on a too-big a property only because she will not give up her hoard in order to downsize to manageable levels for both of us.
She won't spend a dime to get outside help to maintain the home (expecting me to do it all) because having strangers enter her property puts her at risk of having her closely protected hoarding problem discovered.
When I examine the situation as a whole, everything comes back to the fact that she is a hoarder who will not accept that she has a problem or that it required psychological intervention.
I wish I could offer you some solace or advice, but I got to the point where the expectation of me were beyond my ability to fulfill and I finally walked out of her life in order to preserve my own. That was my solution.
Which brother convinced you? After you have done as much as you reasonably can, you should consider moving out and letting someone else take a turn.Does your mother appreciate your efforts? You can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you have been a good and responsible daughter.


Cutting loose and heading off on your travels is a great way to live your life, but you still need to be able to earn a bit of money if you're going to be able to do the things you want to do.
Luckily for you, there's plenty of ways you can be much more than all work and no play.
Seeing the sights is a great way to spend the day, and it would be even better if someone would pay you to do it. The great thing about being a native English speaker is that you speak the world's only global language.
Everywhere you go your skills will be in demand, and nowhere more so than in tourist hotspots.
Bar work is a great way to earn on your travels because it's always needed, and it's in demand everywhere. If you want to have your days off so you can get outside and explore the scenery, then a few late night shifts are a great idea.
The only thing to remember is that you don't want to end up partying too hard, too often, behind the bar. That's a guaranteed way to burn through all of your wages before you've even finished your shift!
Hotels are a great way to get work in exchange for bed and board, and they're always on the look out for dependable people who aren't afraid to pitch in.
If you want to meet a few of the locals, see how they live and work, and put a roof over your head for a week or so, then this is a great option to consider.
Eating competitions may not pay your bills, but they will keep you well fed. If you can enter enough of them, and crucially you have the stomach to conquer them, then you'll be able to eat for a pittance. Ideal if paying for stuff is something you could do without!
This isn't so much a guaranteed earner, as it is a chance to win big. Sites like esports-free-bets.com offer you the chance to turn a little bit of money into a mountain. As long as you're responsible and you don't get carried away, then this could be a good bit of fun that may just pay for many more travel adventures to come.


The Steamboat Springs Fire Rescue will celebrate 120 years of service to the Steamboat Springs community with an open house at the Mountain Fire Station from 11am to 3pm on Saturday, September 9, 2017.
During the open house, enjoy a cookout featuring free burgers and hot dogs; adult and kid activities such as face painting, hose spray, agility test (do you have what it takes to be a firefighter?), fire extinguisher training; and car seat safety checks. No open house is complete without a dunk tank, where you can take aim at the fire chiefs and other dignitaries.
The majority of the department's fire trucks, ambulances and equipment will be on display including the ladder truck with its 105-foot ladder. Guests can hop in and check out each vehicle as well as sign up to climb the ladder. In addition, residents will be able to tour the Mountain Fire Station and experience where firefighters are based during their 24-hour shift. The station garage bays will host the history of the fire department and will highlight some of the larger fires and events that have occurred in the community.
For more than a century Steamboat Springs Fire Rescue has served the City of Steamboat Springs and the surrounding community by reducing human suffering and property loss, protecting the environment, and promoting life safety through incident response, public education, and fire prevention programs. Responsible for an area of roughly 384 square miles, the department responded to nearly 2250 calls (average of 6/day) for services in 2016.


You Need a Budget (free) for Android and iOS. This app will allow you to input your cash spending on the go. You'll see how much you can still spend in different categories.
Spendee (free) for Android and iOS. It's brightly colored and easy to use. You can even upload photos of receipts and bills.
Mint. It's one of the most popular finance apps in the world. It gives you a complete picture of all of your personal finances and even sends you alerts if you exceed your planned budget.
You will be surprised to learn how much money you can save in college by simply tracking your income and expenses. Getting a savings plan can improve your financial situation. Say 'no' to unnecessary spending and you can even avoid credit debts and night shifts at your part-time job. Our own light-mindedness is often the core reason for our financial hardships.


A Hennepin County medical examiner has identified the man who drowned in Farrell's Lake after a police chase Saturday night as 37-year-old Andrew Paul Heim of Minneapolis.
According to a statement issued Monday from Roseville police, Heim fled police after being pulled over for a broken taillight at approximately 9:30 p.m. Aug. 10 near the intersection of Cleveland and Oakcrest avenues in Roseville.
Heim slowed initially but did not stop for the squad's emergency flashing lights, leading Roseville police on a nearly 3-mile pursuit north on Cleveland. Heim was driving a 2002 BMW 530iA sedan without a rear license plate and was traveling north towards County Road E2, authorities stated.
A 17-year-old girl from St. Paul was ejected from the vehicle she was driving in a rollover while traveling north on I-35W in Mounds View around 3 p.m. on Thursday, Aug. 1.
According to a Minnesota State Patrol incident report, Olivia D. Schaab-Johnson, rolled her 2002 Hyundai Sante Fe while trying to exit from northbound I-35W to County Road 10 at the last minute.
Shoreview's Environmental Quality Committee (EQC) announced the winners of this year's Green Community Awards during the Slice of Shoreview Days.
The awards program, now in its seventh year, was originally started by local Sierra Club members to recognize residents who have taken steps on their property to improve water quality in local lakes, streams and wetlands.
Examples include the planting of shoreline buffers, gardens with native plants and the installation of rain gardens to reduce erosion and help filter out contaminants from storm water.
On just about any other day, either of the final two at bats of Sunday's American Legion baseball Sub-State 8 final would have produced a victory and sent Tri-City Red to the state tournament. Sunday wasn't just any other day, however.
Forest Lake's third baseman and center fielder were in the right position to catch hard-hit balls by Ethan DeCaster and Sam Hentges and preserve the Rangers' 3-2 victory. With the win, Forest Lake advances to the state tournament, which runs Aug. 2-5 at four different sites in the southwest metro.
Kozlaks' Royal Oak Restaurant owners Mark and Lynn Satt will be closing the doors to the spacious location on Hodgson Road that has housed the restaurant since 1977.
The couple informed customers of a proposed purchase agreement via email on July 11.
Mark said that although the restaurant belongs to him and Lynn, the building and the land it stands on belonged to Lynn's father Jack, who passed away in July of last year.
"Moses Supposes" song and dance number. From left: Cosmo Brown played by Patrick Gustafson, vocal coach played by Casey Scott and Don Lockwood played by Andrew Kohagen.
The St. Anthony Community Theater (SACT) held its first three performances of "Singin' in the Rain" last weekend.
Opening weekend shows were well attended and the theater reverberated with applause as the show concluded Friday and the cast, orchestra and production crew received a standing ovation on Saturday.
"This has been one of the best shows I've seen in my time with the theater," SACT Webmaster and Communications Tech David Severston admits.


text:
About Bas
The Korea Post
Korea-Japan 1910-1945: Japan's difficult way of admitting historical wrongdoings
With memorizing the centenary of Japan's annexation of Korea, much has happened around reviewing the history between the two countries these past months. A new apology by Prime Minister Kan, the return of cultural heritage, release of original state documents which provided scholars with new evidence for proving the illegality of the treaty from 1910; Japan is on the move. Despite these gestures, for Koreans nothing seems to have changed at all. For them there is only one way to go: an official acknowledgment by Japan of the illegality of colonization of Korea. The recently expanded nullification movement delivers hard evidence of Japan's wrongdoing. But can legal proof beat Japan's nationalist sentiment?
Many Western countries remain in a struggle with their colonial pasts that left behind enormous cesspools proving nearly impossible to be cleansed. Between the previous lack of existing law and documentation and the simple fact that their colonial history is part of the foundation of their economies, it becomes nearly impossible to set things straight between the west and the natives who claim to be suppressed. That, in this case is different. It is very important to understand that Korea is an odd man out in the list of the world's colonized countries. With Korea having been colonized in 1910, Japan was very late compared to its western role models who began colonizing a few hundred years earlier. By the turn to the 20th century, colonizing seemed an outdated concept. The cake was divided and by development of international agreements, creating alliances and the increase of human rights, seizing countries was no longer unusual.
It was a tough break for Japan to get away with annexing the Korean peninsula. Not only had the country created allies in the west – by which Japan participated in common international law – but Korea was an accepted sovereign state which also had those western allies. In order to legitimate their mission to annex Korea, Japan had to make Korea appear weak and willing to receive Japan's help. As history proves, they succeeded in doing so. Since Korea claims to have been neither weak nor willing to cooperate, it has been the foundation for the dispute that has lasted for over one hundred years now. Japan has consistently defended the point of view that Korea actually was weak and they're will was confirmed by their signing of the treaties which are still being defended by the Japanese government.
Null and void
Both of these aspects, of which the prior has been most discussed lately, have been refuted by research of historian Tae Jin Yi. As being in charge of organizing the old state documents at Seoul National University in the early nineties, he found out about the wrongs and thereby is one of the main figures of the nullification movement. In his book 'Confucianism and Modernization in Korean History' (2007), he describes that Korea had its independent way of modernization and thus refuses to state that Korea needed the type of 'help' that Japan had forced upon the country. Forced indeed; lately, (Korean) newspapers have been full of showing evidence that the treaties were illegal. Also, this is result of Yi's research which includes proof of forged signatures, missing titles and lack of ratification. More research ensued and many scholars from Korea, Japan, and other countries joined the movement – in May the group made a joint statement which was supported by many hundreds of scholars. One of which is Etsuro Totsuka, a Japanese professor in international law and former lawyer who weighed the legitimacy of the treaties to the international common law that applied at that time. He found out that ratification was not only a necessary procedure in western countries (which Japan misguided by false documents) also in Japan it was written that ratification was necessary to make a treaty legal.
Convincing apologetics
Clear case, you would say. In reality all of this evidence today is still not enough to convince the Japanese to take the crucial step in acknowledging history. The historians and lawyers are facing something much bigger that dominates fact finding: nationalist pride that avoids acknowledgment of any wrongdoings. Japan has been very successful in palliating their history, making people believe Japan has done good deeds in their colonial history. All information proving the opposite was banned, and criticizers gagged. One of whom is early day researcher Etsuro Totsuka, who was astonished to find out about the truth in 1992. "I was surprised to read the UN report from 1963 that already presents research on the treaties and concluded the annexation was against the rules. Nobody in Japan knew about this, nothing of this was published in Japan. So I made a report and wanted to publish it. People informed me this would be a very dangerous thing to do; I could even be killed. Once I realized the magnitude of the situation, I postponed publication." Being a scholar, it was highly surprising for Totsuka to learn about this unknown side of Japanese history. "Also I was one of those Japanese who believed what the government said: Koreans were incapable of taking care of themselves, so the Japanese helped them develop. Regarding the independent fighters, we learned those aggressive Koreans were ignorant; they were terrorists."
Also, Korean professor Tae Jin Yi found out about the Great Japanese Cover Up. Giving lectures in Japanese universities and societies, he experienced the Japanese ignorance of the truth and fear to speak out. Yi: "In 1994 I hunted down the person who forged the signatures back in 1910, and presented my findings in Tokyo. They were astonished. A group of journalists approached me after so I checked the newspapers the next day. There was not a single word written on it. 'So this is Japan', I sighed. Even one year ago. I gave a lecture in Kyoto and Japanese professors commented that they were ashamed of that history, though after this confession they still don't plead against the annexation in their daily work." With the current developments, this attitude is slowly changing; Japan is facing an untreated wound that has gone from bad to worse. The biggest fundamental challenge in the healing process is eliminating denial that still reigns in Japan. Ever, if you want to treat an injury, you must first acknowledge there is one.
Samurai heritage
In their attempt to organize today's difficult situation – a complex web which is full of political, economical, diplomatic and social traps – Japan seems to ignore the fundamental cause of their position. According to Etsuro Totsuka the Japanese attitude roots deep into history. "In the Meiji era (1868-1912) Japan became very militaristic and aggressive; the idea was to conquer the whole of Asia. More than half of the state's budget was used for militaristic purpose. Treasures from China and Korea were stolen to feed Japan's wealth and allow them to pay for the military. That idea is simply criminal; Japan became a gangster. A bandit. But that idea Japan copied from the west; Japan thought it was a good thing. Western states were gangsters, so we needed to become an even stronger gang and started breaking laws to secure nearby territories. Some people said this grand national plan was the only way to survive as a country, but there also were people saying Japan could take care of themselves without invading other countries. I also think Japan should have avoided any military invasion and choose to survive as a relatively small welfare state instead. The leaders of that time made a wrong judgment by thinking we should act the same as countries like Germany and England" Tae Jin Yi adds: "Their tradition of military rule is the reason that the Japanese didn't take much precedence on all the formalities when they had their plans to annex Korea and tried to avoid those as much as possible."
Though Japan has left their military tradition behind, according to professor Yi it still is very present in the mentality of the Japanese. It is exactly this warrior mindset that is the root of their ignoring and denying wrongdoings. Yi: "The Samurai mentality is deeply etched into Japanese culture: a defeat is equal to dying, which is also the reason Japanese are so mannered: all confrontation must be avoided. In an argument there is no concession: it is victory or defeat. Acknowledging the mistake would mean defeat, mentally this is difficult to process. The way the German Chancellor Willy Brandt knelt down in front of the Polish memorial in the seventies is unthinkable in Japan. This has everything to do with this mentality."
In order to make way for acknowledgment, breaking this tradition seems to be crucial. For Yi, his own Korean culture might be a good weapon to influence the Japanese culture. "At the moment there is a Korean Wave going on in Asia. An example of what we could do is send over more celebrities to Japan to show them Korean mentality. In their Samurai-based culture it is all about being macho and tough. The Korean tradition is more about giving up your life for your loved ones. Japan should embrace more universal values to be able to give up and give in so they can live in better harmony with the rest of the world."
Western acknowledgment
On a political level, Totstuka thinks it is important for western countries to acknowledge that they tolerated Japan's illegal actions. No western powers checked both parties for a validation of the treaties which turned Korea into a protectorate and colony – even the Japanese job on colonizing was dirty, the results were of personal interest. By that they ignored rules which they themselves had created. A good example is The Netherlands, the country that hosted the Second Peace Convention in 1907 in The Hague. Three Korean envoys were refused access based on the 1905 treaty stating that Japan is handling Korea's diplomatic relationships from then on. The three diplomats came to convince the west that this treaty was not a treaty, but an independent action of Japan which was never approved by the Korean government. Even though they carried a letter signed by the king the Dutch minister refused to meet them. Totsuka found the documents on the communication within the Dutch ministry which confirmed the unlawful tolerance policy towards Japan. The note said the treaty 'seems' to be signed by the Korean king – information that only could have been provided by the Japanese without checking ratification on both sides. "With having their own colonies, I understand the difficult diplomatic position of many western countries of the time which made them not to want to change status quo, but it was wrong. If we accept the status quo, we lose international law. That is why I want to ask the Dutch government to acknowledge their misjudgment."
According to Totsuka it could trigger other countries to do the same: acknowledge they knew the treaty could have been null and void, but failed to speak out against Japan's actions. The price of unlawful, bloody suppression of Korea was worth paying in order to secure their own interests. Similar to the three envoys who failed in The Hague, Homer Hulbert experienced the same political attitude in the United States. As an American correspondent and diplomat for the Korean government, he tried to convince the United States government that the 1905 treaty was null and void. As the Dutch wanted to keep Japan away from their Indonesia, the US wanted to secure their Philippines so also in the US doors kept closed and Hulbert's advocacy was waived, even he had first hand information. It became his life mission to convince the rest of the world that Korea was colonized based on illegal treaties. Without any political success. Now his successors have legal proof in their hands, it is time to set the records straight. Totsuka: "I don't think if Japan acknowledges its past, it will go to hell, as many people say. It will improve international relationships and harmony in East Asia. By acknowledging their wrong tolerance policies, Western countries can trigger this process." Yi adds this however won't be a fast process: "Socially and politically it will cost time to solve these problems. The sentiment lies deep, so we might have to wait until the younger generations are in charge of Japan."
Korea-Japan
Photo-finish for Korea
Japan-Korea 1910-1945: Polarization in Japan

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl