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NIH Directors No Longer Drug Firm Consultants
Find out more about Lisa Salberg
Fri Jan 23,11:35 AM ET
By David Willman and Jon Marino Times Staff Writers
WASHINGTON — Top-level officials at the National Institutes of Health (news - web sites) — amid sharp criticism from congressional leaders — have stopped accepting consulting fees and stock options from drug companies, the agency's leader told a Senate hearing on Thursday.
"As of this moment, no director has any outside biotechnology or pharmaceutical relationship," said the leader of the NIH, Dr. Elias A. Zerhouni, referring to the directors of the agency's research institutes and centers. "Those have been stopped."
Sen. Arlen Specter (news, bio, voting record) (R-Pa.), the chairman of the Appropriations subcommittee on labor, health and human services and education, nevertheless told Zerhouni and other NIH officials at the hearing that "there are really major problems here." Specter, who reminded the officials that he had helped double the NIH budget in recent years, added, "I believe there will have to be very substantial remedial steps taken."
Citing paid arrangements between biomedical companies and senior NIH scientists disclosed last month by The Times, Specter asked if ongoing consulting deals for all NIH employees could be suspended immediately.
Specter also voiced dissatisfaction with policies and decisions that have exempted about 94% of the NIH's highest-paid employees from having to publicly disclose payments from drug companies or other outside employers.
"Is there any reason why a governmental employee making as much as the vice president should not be required to fill out a public financial disclosure form?" Specter asked.
"This subcommittee is prepared to do it if you don't. And we're prepared to get into changes in law, if you don't come up with something that's adequate."
The NIH is the federal government's center for medical research on humans. Its top scientists are among the highest paid employees in the government, and its studies can affect the commercial viability of new drugs and the stock prices of biomedical companies.
Government lawyers at the hearing said new regulations probably would have to be enacted to achieve Specter's goals. An ethics attorney representing the Department of Health and Human Services (news - web sites), Edgar M. Swindell, said that the NIH could adopt restrictions in place at the Food and Drug Administration (news - web sites), where employees are prohibited from owning stock in companies that may be affected by the agency's decisions.
Zerhouni told the subcommittee that an internal review he initiated recently found that since 1999, a total of 527 agency employees had engaged in paid consulting arrangements with 1,515 outside employers. As of this month, 228 of the employees have active long-term deals with 365 nongovernment employers, Zerhouni and other NIH officials said.
Zerhouni did not identify how much money had been paid to the NIH scientists in fees or stock options from biomedical companies.
"It is obvious that this poses a very, very substantial problem," Specter said.
The consulting deals also drew criticism from Sen. Tom Harkin (news, bio, voting record) (D-Iowa), with whom Specter teamed to boost the NIH budget. Harkin said that consulting for drug companies by top NIH officials risked conferring "a big stamp of approval."
Harkin said that he strongly supported companies participating in the "translating" of basic research conducted at the NIH into remedies that can be administered to patients. However, Harkin said, the translation should not involve financial payments to NIH employees.
"There needs to be cross-fertilization," Harkin said. "But in that … process, people at NIH have to have absolutely clean hands."
Harkin also took aim at the system of pledges, called recusals, that NIH officials have routinely filed, promising not to participate in government matters affecting their company clients.
"I'm concerned that they may not be doing their main job, their NIH job," Harkin said.
The third senator who attended the hearing, Sen. Ted Stevens (news, bio, voting record) (R-Alaska), said he was comfortable with financial ties between NIH scientists and industry. The relationships, he suggested, could spur development of useful medicines.
For his part, Zerhouni said that although he wanted to wait for recommendations from a panel of outside advisors, he generally supported requiring more public disclosure and imposing tighter restrictions on consulting with biomedical companies.
"I have reached the conclusion that NIH must make changes that will appropriately restrict current practices," Zerhouni said, adding that he wanted to "completely review the decision" in 1995 by then-NIH Director Harold E. Varmus to lift restrictions on paid outside consulting.
An internal memo from Varmus authorized NIH employees to accept company stock as compensation for consulting. Said Zerhouni, "We believe very seriously that stock ownership should be treated differently." The Varmus memo also allowed directors of the 27 NIH institutes and centers to accept consulting payments from drug companies.
Two directors whose consulting fees were reported by The Times on Dec. 7, Dr. John I. Gallin, director of the NIH Clinical Center, and Dr. Stephen I. Katz, director of the National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases, have recently decided to stop accepting such payments, Zerhouni and the two institute directors said.
Gallin and Katz told the hearing that all of their consulting activities had been approved by NIH officials, within the agency's rules. Katz said that he had served the NIH "with the highest integrity."
Two other senior NIH officials whose consulting arrangements were reported last month by The Times, Dr. Ronald N. Germain, deputy chief of the Laboratory of Immunology at the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (news - web sites), and Jeffrey Schlom, chief of the Laboratory of Tumor Immunology and Biology at the National Cancer Institute (news - web sites), said that all of their actions had been proper.
Zerhouni told the subcommittee that he has seen no indication that paid consulting with biomedical companies has influenced medical decisions or compromised the safety of patients at NIH.
After the hearing, Zerhouni told reporters that, "personally, I think if you have authority over a process, it is much better not to have relationships that can lead to questions as to your integrity and independence of judgment."
Zerhouni announced in his prepared remarks that he has appointed co-chairmen of a previously announced panel that would advise him on conflict-of-interest issues: Bruce Alberts, a biochemist who has served as president of the National Academy of Sciences (news - web sites) since 1993; and Norman R. Augustine, a longtime military-aerospace industry executive who also served as undersecretary of the Army during the Ford administration.
Zerhouni and his aides have promised to fully cooperate with any congressional inquiries. However, the chairman of the House Commerce oversight and investigations subcommittee, Rep. James C. Greenwood of Pennsylvania, said Thursday that the NIH has been "slower than we wanted." The House panel had requested by Jan. 8 a range of documents related to the consulting with drug companies done by NIH employees.
"I had to have a conversation with Dr. Zerhouni about a week ago to express some concern that I had about lack of specificity in some of the documents," Greenwood said. "We have an understanding now that we'll get what we want."
John Burklow, a spokesman for Zerhouni, said that documents were being gathered and assembled in preparation for release to the House subcommittee. Also in the House, three senior Democrats, Henry A. Waxman of Los Angeles, John D. Dingell of Michigan and Sherrod Brown of Ohio, last week asked the General Accounting Office (news - web sites), the investigative arm of Congress, to examine the policies and circumstances surrounding consulting deals entered into by NIH employees.
Specter, who requested additional, written responses from several officials, concluded the two-hour hearing by cautioning NIH leaders that they must make significant changes.
"We will work hard to see to it that whatever conflicts exist or appearances exist we rectify to maintain public confidence," Specter concluded.
Times staff researcher Janet Lunblad in Los Angeles contributed to this report.


Can we just agree to ignore anything that comes after Blue-ray? I don't want to restart my collection all over…..again.
Obiuaries would be a lot more intersiting if they told you how the person died.
How the hell are you supossed to fold a fitted sheet anyway?
I feel there is a great need for a sarcasm font.
If Mapquest and Google maps could just start their directions at number five; that would be great, I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my sub.
In recent events of turning forty-five, I've decided to update my bitmoji. Let's face it none of us are 25 anymore nor do we live life behind a snap-chat beauty filter; so I've decided that the forehead wrinkle needed to be updated! Oh sure I know it's February; like I said, I was still embracing!


SEATTLE — One man's momentary lapse of judgment is another man's window of opportunity.
Seattle Sounders goalkeeper Michael Gspurning inexplicably handled the ball outside his penalty area and saw a red card in the 85th minute of his team's 2-0 win over the Colorado Rapids on Wednesday. Seattle native and English Premier League returnee Marcus Hahnemann entered the match, sealing advancement from the Western Conference play-in game.
"I think I knocked someone's hot dog and beer out of their hands [on the first goal kick], but other than that, it was OK," Hahnemann said after the game.
Nobody disputed referee Silviu Petrescu's decision to show Gspurning a straight red card. The 6-foot, 5-inch Austrian goalkeeper said he misplayed the bounce on the long ball toward Edson Buddle, and he thought he was inside the penalty area when he caught the ball.
Colorado's Clint Irwin could have met the same fate earlier in the game, when he charged out of his penalty area and collided with Clint Dempsey on a breakaway. In his case, though, defender Drew Moor provided cover to reduce the likelihood that Dempsey would have scored if he were not impeded. Dempsey's heavy touch — away from the open goal — also played a part in Irwin only receiving a yellow card.
Gspurning wasn't as lucky, as Buddle streaked toward him alone, with no defender in sight.
He and Hahnemann fought for playing time down the stretch, with head coach Sigi Schmid deciding to make a change from the usual No. 1, Gspurning, after consecutive massive losses to the Rapids, 5-1, and the Vancouver Whitecaps, 4-1, toward the end of the regular season.
The two games Hahnemann played left him feeling sharp and fit for his newfound opportunity in the playoffs.
Gspurning's automatic one-game suspension means the 41-year-old who last started an MLS playoff match in 1998 will start on Saturday, when the Sounders host the Portland Timbers in the first leg of the conference semifinals. Barring a catastrophic performance, Schmid could stick with Hahnemann in goal for the rest of the playoffs.
Hahnemann brings nearly two decades' worth of professional experience into the match, including two World Cup squad appearances and more than 300 games in the Premier League. Having that caliber of player ready to step in makes the transition between players much easier.


Swim 500 yards (20 lengths) in under 10-minutes.
Swim a 50-yard freestyle without goggles in under 33-seconds.
After a dive, do an underwater kick of 25-yards without goggles.
Brick return begins with a 15 yard swim, surface dive, pick-up the brick from the deep end and make it in 11-seconds or less.
Two different types of brick towing happen for 50-yards, under a time of 1:10 or 1:15. One is kick on the back holding the brick with both hands. The other is kicking on the side with the brick on the hip.
Two-minute treading with the brick in your hands.
This is not an official score-sheet and rules, but only a transcription of a conversation with a guard. So, your miles may vary. If you see an error, or have further details, write in the comments.
Contact Kevin Post, KevinPost -at- CHH2o -dot- com.
Read the article on CNN.
In the split second before Mareddy asked her son to help, she remembered a drill from his swim class.
The fifth-grader swam down, grabbed the man's wrist and pulled him to the surface.
Who is getting ready for some lifeguard classes?
USA Swimming's drowning statistics show in the month of November 2018, there were 72 drownings. Twelve were kids age 4 and under. This is an increase from 2017. We need to continue to educate in order to eliminate drowning.


We offer a full range of services including on-site repair and trouble shooting. Our highly trained technicians are equipped with necessary portable diagnostic instrumentation and standard service tools. Our branch offices allow us to provide fast response times for repair calls. In addition, we maintain dedicated service vehicles and fully equipped mobile service trucks.
At Macsheb, the product purchase is never the last step of a sale, but the first step of a long-term relationship. We are committed to a proactive approach that continuously supports you. That is why we offer service agreements for the repair, maintenance, certified calibration, and fault code analysis of your equipment - all tailored for and intended to give you peace of mind. In addition, we provide free training for your operators and technicians.
Service Agreements are our way of helping you plan your maintenance budget. With a service plan, you work more effectively by scheduling your maintenance when and where you want it. Importantly, early problem detection eliminates costly future repairs. With documented oil analysis for your excavator, bulldozer, wheel loader, attachment, or other equipment, you will never risk losing your warranty coverage. Above all, regular maintenance increases the life of your valuable equipment.
With our service plans, our goal is to make sure that your equipment never lets you down. Our technicians will service your equipment at prescribed intervals and depending on the service option you have chosen, all parts are either discounted or included in the plan.
Choose the service plan that is best for you.
Please contact us for details on our service agreement plans.
As a company, we understand the importance of a dedicated parts supply. That is why we carry an extensive inventory of genuine parts that will keep your equipment running without any costly downtimes. We also provide free parts delivery to any region in Ethiopia for volume orders.
Our Parts department is always ready to help you find just what you need.
The commissioning stage is a very important part of the equipment delivery process. During commissioning, we provide short training on the proper safe keeping, storage, operation, and maintenance of the equipment. We have noted too many times that simple mistakes and failure to follow manufacturer instructions can lead to costly maintenance and downtimes.
In Addition, we provide to our customers contact information for support and maintenance as well as training availability for new operators and maintenance staff.
Our quality construction machineries come with warranties that are the best in the industry. They can usually be extended for free with volume purchases. Our qualified staff can provide warranty services throughout all regions of Ethiopia.
The above picture shows a Liebherr PR-754 dozer being serviced under warranty for free.
We conduct three major types of trainings. The first type of training takes place at Macsheb facilities in Addis Ababa and Hawassa. These can range from a one-day training on basic machine understanding to a few-weeks training on machine operation and maintenance. This type of training is usually scheduled and announced by Macsheb to all its customers.
Our second type of training, usually requested by customers, occurs at customer facilities and involves on-hand training on a topic requested by the client. We try to combine and consolidate training requests by customers from the same region.
The third type of training we provide is for advanced operators and mechanics at Manufacturer facility in Germany, Austria, and France. This type of training is provided only once a year and eligibility is determined on a case by case basis.


Experience with actual cases is essential to learning how to manage the challenges medical ethics and professionalism will pose to you and your practice. Case Files: Medical Ethics and Professionalism includes 36 true-to-life cases that have been carefully selected to cover important topics such as the doctor-patient relationship, student issues, medical teams, end-of-life care, and social media. Each case includes complete discussion, clinical pearls, references, and review questions with answers.


Our esteemed colleague Dave, aka "thewhiterabbit," heard this at church on Sunday, inspiring me to choose it for today's hymn: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling, by Charles Wesley, sung to the Welsh melody, "Hyfrydol." Here it's sung as the processional hymn at St. John's in Detroit. Beautiful. We hear it through a crack in heaven's door.
This entry was posted on Monday, June 4th, 2018 at 10:11 am	and tagged with Charles Wesley, Christian hymns, classic hymns, hyfrydol, hymns, lee's hymn shop, Love Divine All Loves Excelling and posted in religion, Video.	You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
I love singing to this beautiful hymn. It gives me goosebumps all over even now as I listen on my computer. Sometimes I am so overcome with emotion I can't sing so just listen to everyone else praising Jesus. My wife calls me a bawl bag.


Police were assaulted during a mass brawl between 50 teenagers in a second consecutive evening of violence in Harrow.
A huge fight erupted outside Harrow on the Hill station and St Ann's shopping centre, just over 100 metres from a similar brawl just 24 hours before.
Police arrested three people, including arrests on suspicion of assaulting police and assault, in the fight that happened at just before 5.30pm on Friday (September 28) in College Road.
Police said there was a "large disturbance" outside St Ann's shopping centre in Harrow town centre, involving approximately 50 teenagers.
Photos and videos from the scene show a heavy police presence in the area. A Metropolitan Police spokesman confirmed that, although the original crowd was dispersed, police would remain in Harrow overnight on Friday to continue to deal with the situation.
The spokesman said: "Police were called at approximately 5.30pm on Friday (September 28) to reports of a fight involving a large number of youths at the St Ann's Shopping Centre in Harrow.
"Officers attended and the crowd dispersed.
"Three people have been arrested for offences including assault and assault on police.
"Officers remain in the area."
The events occurred just 24 hours after a similar brawl erupted at the junction of College Road and Station Road, outside Barclays Bank. Footage from that incident was shared online.
Met Police officers rushed to Station Road at 6.35pm on Thursday (September 27) after reports of a fight involving "a number of male and female teenagers" outside the Barclays bank. Social media reports estimate between 50 and 60 people were involved.
In the video, youths can be seen running into the road, with drivers beeping their horns at them as vehicles passed by in the rush-hour traffic.
The woman filming expresses her fears that people involved may have knives and also comments that someone can be seen lying in the street, despite Met Police stating that no injuries were reported.
Near the end of the video, she points to a group of figures in the road, saying: "There's one geezer on the floor! That geezer ain't moving, mate."


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TOP TEN 2304: Today's show features the first Top Ten of 2023, plus some great Demented Discs about rabbits (2023 is a Year of the Rabbit), other animals, and human hair. Stream it now at drdemento.com! Jan 28, 2023
(Added Jan 28, 2023)
PUNK 2303: By popular demand, we celebrate Punk in our second hour. The music and the language is a bit more raucous than usual! In the first hour we feature hamsters, snow, and the songs and poetry of the late Les Barker. Stream the show now or anytime from www.drdemento.com. Jan 21, 2023
LISTEN TO THE LYRICS 2302: Song lyrics have always been important, especially with a comedy show! On this show we feature three specific types of lyrics: comedy rap, ballads (story songs), and "patter songs". You can stream it now (sorry for the delay) or anytime, at www.drdemento.com. Jan 14, 2023
MOVIES 2301: Today we go to the movies! The entire show is devoted to songs and sketches from or about motion pictures -- selected from a variety of past Dr Demento shows. You can stream it now or anytime at www.drdemento.com ! Jan 7, 2023
(Added Jan 7, 2023)
FUNNY 25 2253: Happy New Year, everybody! Here's the Funny 25 most popular songs of 2022, plus some after-Christmas and New Year's favorites. You can stream this show now or anytime at drdemento.com. Dec 31, 2022
(Added Dec 31, 2022)
HOLIDAYS 2252: Here's the third and final holiday show for 2022, with more holiday perennials plus some good ones I haven't played before. You can stream this (and over 2,000 older shows) now or anytime at drdemento.com. Hope you all have a safe and very happy Christmas! Dec 24, 2022
HOLIDAYS 2251: Here's our second serving of holiday dementia for 2022, ending with a heaping helping of Hanukkah songs and comedy! Stream it now or anytime at drdemento.com Dec 17, 2022
HOLIDAYS 2250: The first of our three all-new holiday shows for 2022 is now available for streaming at www.drdemento.com. It's got old favorites well worth hearing again -- Stan Freberg's "Green Christmas" plus crazy carols by Tom Lehrer, Yogi Yorgesson and Spike Jones, and some extremely Demented new things too! Dec 10, 2022
WINTER 2249: The Doc is taking a break this week so we're bringing back some wintertime faves from the past! Hear about rusty Chevrolets, tow trucks, abominable snowmen, and a bunch of snowy things, including an extended helping of yellow snow! There's also a few Christmas songs to ease us into the holiday season. Stream it now or anytime at drdemento.com. Dec 3, 2022
(Added Dec 3, 2022)
TOP TEN 2248: Here are some funny songs about atomic energy, vegetables and Christmas, plus the Top Ten for November (the last Top Ten of 2022!) Stream the show now (or anytime) at www.drdemento.com. Nov 26, 2022
(Added Nov 26, 2022)
THANKSGIVING 2247: This week we have a big stack of Thanksgiving-related Deementia, including Arlo Guthrie's original "Alice's Restaurant Massacree" and a few musical "turkeys" for your amusement - plus "Leader of the Laundromat," "The Little Blue Man" and lots more. Stream this show now at drdemento.com ! Nov 19, 2022
PIZZA 2246: Today we celebrate pizza -- and pay a brief tribute to the man who named me Dr. Demento, and got me started in commercial radio, the late Steven Segal, AKA The Obscene Steven Clean. Nov 12, 2022
HUNTING 2245: The Doc was out of town this week to promote the new Weird movie, so we're presenting an episode from the past about hunting. Even vintage Dr. Demento is always fresh! Enjoy now or anytime at drdemento.com Nov 5, 2022
(Added Nov 5, 2022)
HALLOWEEN 2244: Here's the second half of our Halloween doubleheader for 2022! Nudist Colony Of the Dead, Fear the Walking Dead, Zombie Apocalypse Barbecue, Re: Your Brains, Werewolves of London, Goblin Girl, Nature Trail to Hell and lots more haunted hits for your Halloween party! Oct 29, 2022
(Added Oct 29, 2022)
HALLOWEEN PART 1 2243: Halloween is sneaking up on you - BOO! Here's the first of our two Halloween shows for 2022. Old favorites and new ones too, including a dozen spooky tunes and scary melodies I haven't played before. Stream this show anytime at www.drdemento.com ! Oct 22, 2022
FROGS 2242: This week we celebrate frogs - those harmless little amphibians have inspired almost as many funny songs as kitty cats, and I'll spin some froggy favorites in our second hour. I'll also have a tribute to the late and most wonderful Judy Tenuta. Oct 15, 2022
AIRPLANES 2241: Today I offer a blast from the past - a show never before available online. My special topic is aviation -- funny flying songs from "Snoopy Vs. the Red Baron" to "Fly On a Plane" plus "The Vatican Rag," "Heaven Is for Presbyterians" and "Napster Crimes: Metallika Put Me In Jail." Stream it now or anytime at www.drdemento.com. Oct 8, 2022
TOP TEN 2240: Here's the Top Ten for September 2022! Other highlights include an animal cracker trilogy, a dinosaur quadrilogy, and the live version of "30,000 Pounds of Bananas" by Harry Chapin. Stream the show anytime at www.drdemento.com. Oct 1, 2022
FOOTBALL 2239: We salute football this week, with funny favorites by Andy Griffith, George Carlin, Tom Lehrer and more -- Lots of other Deementia as well, including songs and comedy about Pentiums (RIP), cannibals, cannabis, and Adam West. Stream this new show now at www.drdemento.com! Sep 24, 2022
(Added Sep 24, 2022)
DOGS PART 2 2238: Of all the animals in the kingdom, dogs are second only to people as a subject for songs...and many of those songs are Demented! Here is another kennelful of funny canine classics. Stream them now or anytime from www.drdemento.com ! Sep 17, 2022
TOP TEN 2237: The Top Ten for August 2022. I'm back from my vacation (very relaxing) and this is a brand new show. Stream it now or anytime from drdemento.com. Sep 10, 2022
LABOR DAY FLASHBACK 2236: The Doc is taking a break for Labor Day. The rest of us can take a break with this flashback to 1994. There are songs about working, plus a vintage Funny Five! Sep 3, 2022
(Added Sep 3, 2022)
BIRDS & BEES FLASHBACK 2235: The Doc is on vacation this week, so here is a flashback to 2005 with songs about birds and bees, plus a vintage Funny Five for your enjoyment! Aug 27, 2022
(Added Aug 27, 2022)
CATS 2234: Our topic this week is cats. Lots of funny songs about cats -- young and old, good and bad, sweet and not so sweet. Just like in real life! It's a whole new show, streamable now at www.drdemento.com. Aug 20, 2022
DOGS 2233: The dog days of summer have arrived, and we're greeting them with an hour of thoroughly Demented dog songs! We'll salute Beavis & Butt-head (yes, they're back) and Sweetie Candy Vigilante (coming soon!) Stream our crazy new show immediately at drdemento.com. Aug 13, 2022
WILD WEST 2232: Today's topic is the Wild West - more specifically, the Demented West, with some classic and a couple of not-so-classic songs about cowboys and other denizens of the Wide Open Spaces! Aug 6, 2022
(Added Aug 6, 2022)
TOP TEN 2231: The Top Ten for July, plus a merry miscellany of Demented Discs from "Rutabaga Boogie" to "Marcel's Talking Chainsaw", by artists from Victor Borge to Yung Gravy. Stream it now at www.drdemento.com ! Jul 30, 2022
(Added Jul 30, 2022)
PSYCHEDELIA 2230: The Dr. Demento Show gets psychedelic this week! We salute the golden age of psychedelia, the late 1960s, with a definitive tribute first heard in 1985. Nearly half of this show is brand new, however, including the first-hour free-for-all (lots of requests) and more psychedelic stuff! Stream it now or anytime at drdemento.com. Jul 23, 2022
MEDICAL 2229: This week Dr. Demento salutes his colleagues (?) in the medical profession, with songs saluting (and satirizing) doctors, nurses, and the people and things they work with to hopefully keep us healthy. Hear that show anytime at www.drdemento.com ! Jul 16, 2022
CARS 2228: Today's show will take you on a musical joyride! We have an hour of Demented songs about cars, plus a first hour free-for-all with equally Demented songs about a bunch of other things, plus the Demented News with Whimsical Will! Hear it now at drdemento.com. Jul 9, 2022
(Added Jul 9, 2022)
FOURTH FLASHBACK 2227: Happy Fourth of July! Dr. D is laid up with a sprained ankle this week...but here is a fine Fourth of July show from 1996 which many of you haven't heard, and it's a humdinger. Enjoy! drdemento.com Jul 2, 2022
TOP TEN 2226: Here's the Top Ten for June 2022, and a show with much-needed Demented merriment (Nothing about the Supreme Court - the show was planned before the rulings were announced). Hear it now at drdemento.com! Jun 25, 2022
(Added Jun 25, 2022)
BEER 2225: This week's special topic is beer. Beer has inspired more funny songs than any other alcohol (or any other recreational drug for that matter) and I'll spin some of the best from my collection. (Sorry for the late upload!) Jun 18, 2022
SUMMER & SURF 2224: This week we flash back to the '80's for a celebration of the 25th anniversary of surf music, summertime in general, and also Father's Day which is coming up next weekend. Stream it now at drdemento.com Jun 11, 2022
BICYCLES/MOTORCYCLES 2223: The Dr Demento show rides on two wheels this week, with Deemented songs about bicycles and motorcycles. In the first hour we celebrate National Rotisserie Chicken Day and National Accordion Awareness Month, plus the usual shenanigans. drdemento.com Jun 4, 2022
(Added Jun 4, 2022)
TOP TEN 2222: Here's the Top Ten for May 28, 2022, plus a lot of "runners-up," old and new, and a few goodies I haven't played before! "Candy Rapper," "My Girl's Pussy," and Pat Boone singing the theme from an obscure horror movie. Stream it now at drdemento.com ! May 28, 2022
(Added May 28, 2022)
FUNNY ROCK SONGS 2221: Did you know that some of the most famous rock musicians made some of the funniest songs around? Get Demented with the Beatles, the Who, the Police, the Monkees and more on this week's new show. Hear it now at www.drdemento.com May 21, 2022
ALL TIME FAVORITES 2220: For today's show I asked people to request their all-time favorite Demented songs - and what a wonderful weird mixture of songs you came up with! Everything from Dog Breath and Smut to Sneaky Snake and Dueling Tubas! You can stream that show any day starting today at drdemento.com. May 14, 2022
MOTHER'S DAY 2219: Happy Mother's Day! This show includes an hour of Motherly dementia, plus a special set of horsey songs for Kentucky Derby day. May 7, 2022
(Added May 7, 2022)
TOP TEN 2218: Top Ten time today! Plus some porcine Dementia (songs about pigs), a Star Wars song I've never played until now, a few unusual drinking songs, and a new one called "Spongebob and Patrick Confront the Psychic Wall of Energy." Stream the show now or anytime at www.drdemento.com ! Apr 30, 2022
(Added Apr 30, 2022)
ROBOTS 2217: This week we celebrate robots! Good robots and bad robots - robots that would do anything we desire, and robots that want to kill us all. You can stream and enjoy this show now (or anytime) from drdemento.com! Apr 23, 2022
EASTER/MEMORIES 2216: Happy Easter! The new Dr Demento show has a set of Demented Easter songs, plus some songs about memories of the past, and a fond farewell to Gilbert Gottfried. Stream it now at www.drdemento.com Apr 16, 2022
FARTING 2215: By popular demand I'm bringing back the farting contest, together with some carefully curated and hilarious songs about flatulence. Lots of other funny stuff too. www.drdemento.com Apr 9, 2022
(Added Apr 9, 2022)
TRAINS 2214: I haven't featured train songs for awhile, and it's one of my favorite subjects, so here goes! Plus, it's my birthday today (April 2). Apr 2, 2022
TOP TEN 2213: Here's the Top Ten for March 2022, plus a whole lot of runners-up, and a couple of scintillating mini-topics too! Stream it now at www.drdemento.com! Mar 26, 2022
(Added Mar 26, 2022)
ALIENS/OUTER SPACE 2212: This week we have an all-new show with a popular topic - Aliens & Outer Space. The first hour features nautical Dementia including some bawdy old sea chanteys, plus a good 'n bloody chantey written and sung by Josh Turner and Carson McKee when they were in high school! Stream it now at www.drdemento.com. Mar 19, 2022
IRISH 2211: Here's our annual virtual visit to the Ireland of our Demented imagination -- preceded by a merry miscellany of topical tunes and just plain fun! Stream it anytime from drdemento.com Mar 12, 2022
SUPER VILLAINS 2210: Today we celebrate Supervillains. Well, we don't exactly endorse what they do, but the world's worst people (from D. Vader to V. Putin) have inspired some of the world's best songs, and we'll hear a bunch of 'em this weekend! Streamable now from drdemento.com Mar 5, 2022
(Added Mar 5, 2022)
TOP TEN 2209: The Top Ten for February, plus a dozen runners-up, and a whole lot more Dementia! Stream it now at drdemento.com. Feb 26, 2022
(Added Feb 26, 2022)
ZOOS AND CIRCUSES 2208: Today I have songs about zoos and circuses, especially the animals we go there to see. (They may be in cages, unfortunately, but the songs are free!) Also, for the week after Valentine's day, a few funny songs about love that's passed its best-by date. Stream the show now at www.drdemento.com ! Feb 19, 2022
DEMENTED LOVE SONGS 2207: Along with our customary program of Demented love songs, I have two very exciting premieres! A brand-new song by the Knuckleheadz...AND a new National Anthem of the Land of Deementia, "Born Weird" by Nerf Herder, featuring an accordion solo by Weird Al himself! Stream it now at www.drdemento.com. Feb 12, 2022
COMICS 2206: We salute the comics this week, with 26 fun songs derived from or inspired by comic strips and comic books, from Barney Google to Great Lakes Avengers. Feb 5, 2022
(Added Feb 5, 2022)
TOP TEN 2205: Here's the Top Ten for January, plus a raft of other goodies - a mess of boogies, winter sports, and a swim in the ocean of free-form radio! Listen right now at drdemento.com. Jan 29, 2022
WARM PLACES 2204: Let's warm things up with some Demented discs from (and about) warm places - Hawaii, Jamaica, and Australia for starters! Lots of requests this week - Martin Mull, Ruth Wallis, Don Bowman ("Hello D.J."), Weird Al, and some real obscurities. Stream the show anytime at www.drdemento.com Jan 22, 2022
IRRELEVANCE 2203: Today I have songs about good boys and bad boys, bloody guts, a little surrealism, a little nonsense, and some Deemented songs recorded live by the late Bob Saget. Special added attraction: the Crepitation Contest in high fidelity! Stream it (and over 1,000 other shows) anytime at www.drdemento.com ! Jan 15, 2022
REQUESTS 2202: What do I do with all the requests for non-holiday songs in December? I play a lot of them in January, and this week's show has plenty of Demented classics we haven't heard in quite awhile - like "The Vatican Rag," "Let It All Hang Out," "Pencil Neck Geek" and "Sensitive New Age Guys." No bleeps - this show is R-rated. Hear it now! drdemento.com Jan 8, 2022
FAST FOOD 2201: Welcome to the third decade of the 21st century, dementites and dementoids! Today we celebrate fast food, especially the kind you can hold in your hands - hot dogs, hamburgers, tacos, and pizza! Plus a Demented oddity by Betty White, and a bunch of other crazy tunes. You can hear that show anytime starting early on New Year's Day, 2022 - just visit www.drdemento.com and select "streaming." Jan 1, 2022
FUNNY 25 2152: The Funny 25 countdown of the most demanded Demented Discs of the year is now online -- together with an opening set of After-Christmas songs! www.drdemento.com Dec 25, 2021
CHRISTMAS 2151: And here it is - our third and final all-Christmas show for 2021. More Demented holiday songs old and new, in a wide variety of styles and smiles! No duplication of the past two weeks. On Christmas Day we'll have the Funny 25! www.drdemento.com Dec 18, 2021
CHRISTMAS 2150: Part 2 of my Christmas trilogy is now available for streaming - featuring Tom Lehrer, the Aquabats, Randy Rainbow, Barnes & Barnes, the Mushroom Tab. Choir and more Demented holiday favorites old and new. Also a Dr. D exclusive - Osaka Popstar's rockin' new cover of "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't." www.drdemento.com Dec 11, 2021
HOLIDAYS #1 2149: Hark, the Demented angels sing! The first of three holiday shows for 2021 is now available for streaming, with holiday hilarity old and new, from "Dominick the Donkey" to "Christmas In Lumania." Plus a set of Krampus songs, and a tribute to Stephen Sondheim. www.drdemento.com Dec 4, 2021
HANUKKAH 2148: Happy Hanukkah! This year we celebrate the 40th anniversary of the first Hanukkah novelty song ever, "Hanukkah Rocks." Now there are quite a few, and I spin 14 of the best this week, along with the Top Ten for November, a just-released Weird Al cover of the Ramones, and lots more. www.drdemento.com Nov 27, 2021
THANKSGIVING 2147: Here's the Thanksgiving show for 2021, with a tribute to the late Joe Siracusa, the last of the 1940s Spike Jones City Slickers, and a dear friend. My heartfelt thanks for your support of the show! drdemento.com Nov 20, 2021
HUNTING 2146: I don't imagine a great many Dementites take to the woods with rifles or shotguns these days (I've never tried it myself) but there are a lot of funny songs about hunting, and this show has some of the best! Lots of other goodies too. www.drdemento.com Nov 13, 2021
TOP TEN 2145: Now online - the Top Ten for October (a week late so as not to interrupt our Halloween celebration) plus some runners-up for the Top Ten and some surprises, old and not so old! Stream it at drdemento.com. Nov 6, 2021
HALLOWEEN 2144: This week we celebrate zombies, werewolves, grave robbers, unripe pumpkins, and Count Dracula- it can only be another Dr Demento Halloween! We'll also preview another track from the new Barnes & Barnes album, "Pancake Dream," out November 5. Stream it at www.drdemento.com Oct 30, 2021
HALLOWEEN 2143: Here's another two hours of spooky tunes and scary melodies, familiar and not so familiar, to get you in the mood for October 31 -- plus a sneak preview of the new Barnes & Barnes album which comes out next month on Demented Punk Records. It's very Demented -- and very dark! www.drdemento.com Oct 23, 2021
HALLOWEEN 2142: Halloween is drawing closer, and this week's show is about two-thirds "spooky tunes and scary melodies"-- plus Ray Stevens' new song (and his first hit, from 60 years ago!), other gems from 1961, William Shatner's real-life rocket ride, and a cool new song featuring Josh Turner. Oct 16, 2021
CAFFEINE 2141: Caffeinated beverages, especially coffee, have inspired a whole lot of Demented songs -- more than any other beverages except for alcohol. I've rounded up more than two dozen of them, including many never heard on the show before. Other highlights include the newly viral "Bohemian Catsody" and the story of how David Seville's first #1 hit, "Witch Doctor," originated. drdemento.com Oct 9, 2021
NONSENSE 2140: By popular demand I revisit the topic of nonsense songs this week! The Ying Tong Song, Ain't We Crazy, Cobwebs and Strange, Like a Dribbling Fram and over 20 other of the silliest songs ever made or imagined. Hear that show now or anytime at drdemento.com. Oct 2, 2021
TOP TEN 2139: Here's the Top Ten for September, plus songs about punks by non-punks, a few more songs about school. On top of that, YouTube star and terrific musician Josh Turner visits Dementia Central! Josh and I chat about funny music and other things. drdemento.com Sep 25, 2021
BACK TO SCHOOL 2138: This week we go back to school - songs and comedy bits about education, that is! Weird Al, Tom Lehrer, Robin Williams, Frank Zappa, Barnes & Barnes, The Frantics and many more intelligent people comprise this week's faculty. Norm Macdonald, Monty Python, Roger Miller and other stars of Dementia join in the opening free-for-all. Drdemento.com Sep 18, 2021
MILITARY 2137: On this 20th anniversary of the infamous 9/11 attacks, here's a Dr. Demento salute to the defenders of America, the Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force. There are a lot of funny songs about the armed services, and the experiences of those who serve, and I play more than an hour's worth on this show. www.drdemento.com Sep 11, 2021
LABOR DAY 2136: This is the weekend where we interrupt our labors by celebrating them! Hear more than an hour of funny songs about all kinds of work on this weekend's brand-new Dr. Demento Show. www.drdemento.com Sep 4, 2021
TOP TEN 2135: The Top Ten for August 2021, plus a tribute to Tom T. Hall, Don Everly and Charlie Watts, and a nice long swim in the Ocean of Dementia! drdemento.com Aug 28, 2021
CATS 2134: Dinosaur Song, Birdhouse in your Soul, Rap Yodeler, Clean Song, She Grabbed my Coconuts, Shlock Rod, Traffic Lights, Driving through Chicago, Big Cat, Everybody Wants to be a Cat, Cat Song, Siamese Cat Song, Overflowing Catbox Blues, Cat Came Back, Monster, 7-11, Earache my Eye Aug 21, 2021
DOGS 2133: Teenage Mutant Kung-fu Chickens, Surfing Bird, Oy it's so Humid, Stonk, Hillbilly Rap, Cheesehead Song, It Ain't Easy Being Male, Hot Dog Boogie, Snoopy vs. the Red Baron, Barbecue Spuds McKenzie, How Come my Dog Don't Bark, Freeze-Dried Fido, Poetic Justice Thurgood, Hey Robin, Don't Touch That, Dead Puppies Aug 14, 2021
FOLK II 2132: And here it is - Demented Folk Music II! Featuring the Smothers Brothers, the Kingston Trio, Allan Sherman (My Son the Folksinger), Country Joe & The Fish and many more. Plus a half dozen songs by Logan Whitehurst and some Demented songs about Radio, and more. drdemento.com Aug 7, 2021
TOP TEN 2131: The Top Ten for July 2021 and runners-up, plus "I'm Better Than the Beatles," new songs by Rand Bellavia (Ookla the Mok,) "It's Hot As Balls Outside," "I Heart Aging and Dying" and "Steppin' On a Spaniel" (mystery solved!) Hear it at drdemento.com. Jul 31, 2021
FOLK 2130: Funny folk songs have been around for centuries, but the Folk Revival of the 1950s and 1960s had more than its share! Hear some of those, and newer songs in the same spirit, plus Weird Al, Logan Whitehurst, Chet Atkins with Ray Stevens, and more on my all-new show! drdemento.com Jul 24, 2021
RECORDS 2129: The topic is records on this all-new show! An hour-plus of historical/hysterical songs and stories about records,mostly the kind you play on a phonograph --preceded by an hour's free swim in the ocean of Dementia. It all adds up to two hours 15 minutes (no extra charge for the extra time!) Jul 17, 2021
DIETING 2128: As some of us are trying to shed the pounds we added during the long months of lockdown, here's some musical motivation! I also have the five nominees for the Logan Award for best song parody of 2020, plus Stan Freberg's hilarious backhand tribute to Lawrence Welk and other goodies. Note: "Car Keys" and "The Captain's Wife's Lament" have some adult humor. drdemento.com Jul 10, 2021
ALL AMERICAN 2127: Celebrating the Fourth of July with an all-American show! Stan Freberg, Frank Zappa, Weird Al, Spike Jones, Allan Sherman, Mel Brooks, the Hoosier Hot Shots, David Peel and the Lower East Side, and my choice for a new National Anthem -- one you can actually sing! Streamable now at drdemento.com. Jul 3, 2021
TOP TEN 2126: The Top Ten for June, plus twisted tunes about stupid people, smart dinosaurs, fat chickens, confused sportscasters, and mammary glands! Jun 26, 2021
ALCOHOL PART 2 2125: For various reasons, alcohol has inspired an enormous number of songs, including many very funny songs! Here are some more great ones I didn't get to two weeks ago. Also a set for Father's Day. Jun 19, 2021
TRAVEL 2124: People are finally free to hit the road (or the airport) this summer, so we have some Demented travelin' music for you...plus some Demented requests, a salute to the Bo Burnham Netflix special, and a Cicada Cacophony! Stream it anytime at drdemento.com. Jun 12, 2021
ALCOHOL 2123: Today's show features funny songs about alcohol. It's pleasant, it's dangerous, and it mixes well with music, so there are naturally a lot of songs about it, and some of them are Demented! I'll also preview the new vinyl album featuring legendary comedian Jonathan Winters. www.drdemento.com Jun 5, 2021
DYLAN/TOP TEN 2122: In celebration of Bob Dylan's 80th, a dozen Demented tributes to the man from Minnesota, by a wide variety of artists, famous and otherwise. Plus the Top Ten for May, some great requests, and a farewell to Rusty Warren. Drdemento.com May 29, 2021
TOBACCO 2121: Tobacco isn't as popular as it used to be, but it has inspired a pack of hilarious songs and comedy through the years. This week's new show brings back "Another Puff," "Introducing Tobacco to Civilization" and "Nocturnal Stumblebutt," plus Frank Zappa, Mrs. Miller, Adam West and many more. drdemento.com May 22, 2021
EARLY '80'S 2120: Our special topic today is the early 1980s -- when the show was on over 100 stations nationwide, and Demented music was on a collective roll! Lots of hits, and some Demented rediscoveries. www.drdemento.com May 15, 2021
MOTHER'S DAY 2119: Our annual Mother's Day Dementiafest features motherly melodies from Frank Zappa and the Mothers plus Dweezil, Tom Lehrer, Spike Jones, Rolf Harris, Danny Kaye, Josh Turner and more, plus Monty Python, Polkacide, Talking Media Fear Makers Blues and more moments to remember! drdemento.com May 8, 2021
MINNESOTA 2118: We've heard a lot about Dr. D's home state, Minnesota, in the news during the past year. Unfortunately much of that news has been unpleasant. Minnesota has produced more than its share of great music, however, including lots of funny music! We'll hear an hour's worth of that on this week's show. May 1, 2021
TOP TEN 2117: The Top Ten for April, plus a lot of runners-up, old and new! Funny songs and/or spoken comedy about mystery meat, advertising, cats and a couple dozen other things. Apr 24, 2021
EARTH DAY 2116: Earth Day is Thursday, April 22, and on this show I salute Mother Earth with a variety of environmental songs by Tom Lehrer, Barnes & Barnes ("Don't F*** Up the World, unbleeped), Green E (The Environmental Elvis), Tiny Tim, Bill Oddie, Jim Henson and many more. www.drdemento.com Apr 17, 2021
SINGERS AND MUSICIANS 2115: This week I have songs and sketches about Singers and Musicians, real and imaginary, from Gitarzan to Smells Like Nirvana - sung by artists from Allan Sherman to Tenacious D, from the Andrews Sisters to Shel Silverstein. Plus sets about stupid people and the solar system, and the first Weird Al song I ever played. www.drdemento.com Apr 10, 2021
BASEMENT TAPES 7 2114: This week's show features Dr Demento Basement Tapes #7, with a Weird Al rarity, Henry Phillips and more, plus a few Happy Easter songs...and I'll be celebrating a round number birthday with a couple of curlicues too! Join the party at www.drdemento.com! Apr 3, 2021
TOP TEN 2113: The Top Ten for March, plus the W.A.P. Polka by Cardi Beerdehosen, Ghost Chickens In the Sky, an impromptu 90th birthday tribute to William Shatner, and other improbabilities! drdemento.com Mar 27, 2021
SPRING 2112: Spring officially begins Saturday morning, March 20 in the Northern Hemisphere -- in the USA, just hours after my new show uploads. The show features a half hour of Demented spring songs, plus a glorious mixture of requests, a few new things, and Grammy winners Mister Rogers and Jim Kimo West (Weird Al's guitarist). www.drdemento.com Mar 20, 2021
BODY PARTS 2111: The new show is a tribute to the human body. 29 songs, with 29 different Demented attitudes, explore body parts from head to toes. Also eight all-time favorites for St. Patrick's Day, plus "Mr. Biden (Bring My Vaccine)", "Chicken Fat", Max Headroom and more. Mar 13, 2021
LIST SONGS PART 2 2110: By popular demand, List Songs, Part 2! Plus sets about pianos, moles, and 2 kinds of bums. www.drdemento.com Mar 6, 2021
TOP TEN 2109: The Top Ten for February with runners-up, plus our first hour free-for-all, and a half hour of delightful Demented Discs from the 20s -- the 1920s! drdemento.com Feb 27, 2021
FRUITS & VEGETABLES 2108: This week's topic is Fruits and Vegetables. Half a dozen songs about beans, and seven about bananas -- plus Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Call Any Vegetable, and Carrot Juice Is Murder. Plus a song about the Perseverance Rover, written and recorded the day it landed! drdemento.com Feb 20, 2021
VALENTINE'S DAY 2107: Happy Valentine's Day everyone! We celebrate with a show that's 3/4 Demented love songs - Tapeworm of Love, Swallow My Love, U-Stink-But-I-Love-You, Loving You Is Surfing You, John & Marsha, Communist Love Song - you get the picture! drdemento.com Feb 13, 2021
LIST SONGS 2106: This week's show celebrates "list songs", AKA "catalog songs" - songs like Weird Al's "Hardware Store," Tom Lehrer's "The Elements" and "99 Words for Boobs" by Robert Lund & Spaff. Also a shovelful of snow songs! Hear it now at drdemento.com Feb 6, 2021
TOP TEN 2105: The Top Ten for January is here! Thanks to everyone who "voted" for their favorites. This show includes many of the "runners-up" as well. drdemento.com Jan 30, 2021
ANIMALS 2104: The topic is funny songs about animals. Mississippi Squirrel Revival, Walter Wart the Freaky Frog, and lots more trash and treasures. Plus 8-year-old rapper Grandmaster Jax and Knucklehedz, Kirby Krackle, Phil Spector's most Demented song, and Q-Anon Girl (the only political song), drdemento.com Jan 23, 2021
SUPERHEROES 2103: For Inauguration Day, here's a show devoted to the kind of person we hope our Presidents can be -- a Superhero! Here are songs and sketches about superheroes from Aquaman to Howard the Duck, plus a few about actual Presidents. www.drdemento.com Jan 16, 2021
BASEMENT TAPES 6 2102: Here's Dr Demento's Basement Tapes #6, for your dementing pleasure! Includes Weird Al's demo of "Yoda" plus "Star Wars Cantina," and the first Demented hits by Henry Phillips and the great Luke Ski, plus "Deteoriorata," "I'd Rather Have a Bottle In Front Of Me," "The Trouble with Klingons" and lots more. drdemento.com [drdemento.com] Jan 9, 2021
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2101: At last it's 2021! Our first show of the New Year features a few songs from the 1920s, and from more recent times, Viral Hits from the internet. Plus lots of requests and other surprises. Jan 2, 2021
FUNNY 25 2052: The Funny 25 countdown for 2020 is here, along with some after-Christmas songs. (Anything that refers to Christmas in the past tense qualifies!) Dec 26, 2020
HOLIDAYS 2051: We celebrate many holidays in December, but Christmas has inspired the most Deemented songs of any holiday in the whole year, anywhere! Most of them have to do with the celebration itself -- the parties, the presents, Santa and his accomplices. Enjoy your favorites, old and not so old, on our third and final all-new holiday show of 2020. www.drdemento.com Dec 19, 2020
HOLIDAY 2050: Our second holiday show for 2020 is an eclectic delight, with rad new sounds (Osaka Popstar plays Daniel Johnston, and Josh Turner joins stratospheric harmonizers T.3), hardy perennials like "Green Christmas" and Tom Lehrer's "Christmas Carol", plus a half hour of Hanukkah Dementia, and a tribute to David L. "Squiggy" Lander. Dec 12, 2020
HOLIDAYS 2049: Happy Holidays everybody! Here's the first of my three Christmas/Chanukah shows for 2020, featuring Weird Al, Yogi Yorgesson, Cheech & Chong, Albert Brooks, They Might Be Giants, Victor Banana, Seymour Swine, Barnes & Barnes, and lots more crazy carols and mad madrigals for your Demented delight. Dec 5, 2020
TOP TEN 2048: The last Top Ten of 2020, plus the Dr Demento Show debuts of "Christmas Ferret," "Fett's Vette," "Small Penis," "Pac-Man Is 40 and So Should You," "I'm Wise," "Don't Let My Hair Dye Run," and other Demented Delights. Some rare Demented oldies too! Nov 28, 2020
THANKSGIVING 2047: Here's a Demented Thanksgiving feast with all the trimmings! We celebrate food, with Weird Al, Brak, Arlo Guthrie and more...the year 2016 A.D. (All Demented), a little First Century Dementia, and some genuine musical turkeys too. If you're celebrating alone, call up a friend and have them listen in sync with you! drdemento.com Nov 21, 2020
NO TOPIC 2046: No big special topic today -- but plenty of Demented diversions, including songs about earthquakes, insects, subways (including a Tom Lehrer rarity), and five listeners' choices for songs that hit their happy spots! Also a memorial for Alex Trebek, and 2 1/2 minutes about the election. Nov 14, 2020
TOP TEN 2045: The Top Ten for October, plus some fascinating story-songs with intricate wordplay, getting into surrealistic streams of consciousness. BTW, nothing about the election! Nov 7, 2020
HALLOWEEN 2044: Part 2 of our Halloween frightfest for 2020 brings you another two hours of spooky tunes and scary melodies, old and new! Check out the covers: "Monster Mash" by the Dollyrots, "I Put A Spell On You" by William Shatner, "Re: Your Brains" by the Whiffenpoofs, and "Dracula's Wedding" by Josh Turner. Oct 31, 2020
HALLOWEEN PART 1 2043: Here's Part One of my two-part Halloween Fantasy for 2020! Lots of haunted hits, and new things too. Happy Birthday Weird Al! Oct 24, 2020
FOOTBALL/HUNTING/HALLOWEEN 2042: Today we celebrate football season, hunting season, and Halloween. We're also having an election, which is incredibly important, but you've heard so much about that I'm giving you two hours off! Oct 17, 2020
NON-OBJECTIONABLE DEMENTIA 2041: Now and then someone objects to something I play on the show. Can anything Demented be totally non-objectionable? This topic has inspired some lively exchanges on the Dr. D Official Facebook Group, and on this show we look into some of those. Oct 10, 2020
CLOTHES 2040: 2020 Sucks, Weird Al Presents America Is Doomed: The Musical, Save Me Obama, and lots of funny songs about clothes on this all-new Dr. Demento Show! Oct 3, 2020
TOP TEN 2039: Here's the Top Ten for September...last one before the election! Plus three Doctor songs (none of them about MD's), three non-anal songs with anal titles, and more listeners' choices for the funniest song ever sung. Sep 26, 2020
FUNNIEST SONGS EVER 2038: More of the funniest songs ever written, as picked by individual listeners. Some old reliables, and one I hadn't heard before! We also celebrate the 40th anniversary of "Another One Rides the Bus," and the 40th anniversary of Whimsical Will's first appearance on the show. Sep 19, 2020
FUNNIEST SONG YOU EVER HEARD 2037: On the Dr D Official Facebook Group, a listener recently asked people to name the funniest song they ever heard. On this show I play 24 of the answers, plus more trash 'n treasures! Sep 12, 2020
JOBS 2036: We celebrate Labor Day with Demented songs about jobs of all kinds, from K-Mart manager trainee to colo-rectal surgeon, from recording artist to trash collector. I'll also spin the Logan Awards winners, and a wonderful new song by Andy Merrill recorded at Brakingham Palace. Sep 5, 2020
TOP TEN 2035: The Top Ten for August, parodies that are claimed to be better than the originals, a few school songs, and some neat new stuff. Aug 29, 2020
OTHER ANIMALS 2034: Having celebrated cats and dogs this month, we now turn to horses, birds and insects, and other animals that have become part of our lives in various ways. Plus we have a new arrival--the one and only WAPC (Wet Ass Pussy Cat)! Aug 22, 2020
DOGS 2033: This week's show goes to the dogs! The second in our series of pet shows has over an hour of Demented doggie ditties and canine classics - plus "Coughing In the Donald's Face" and other scandals. Aug 15, 2020
CATS 2032: In August we're spotlighting companion animals! Cats are first up this year, with over an hour of Demented feline favorites. Aug 8, 2020
BASEMENT TAPES #5 2031: Today's show features Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes #5, complete and (mostly) uninterrupted. In the first hour, enjoy the Demented happenings of the year 2000, plus songs about underwear, baseball, and a steam-powered airplane. Aug 1, 2020
TOP TEN 2030: The Top Ten for July 2020, plus a look back at 1999, a Japanese food trilogy, and an hour of scrambled Dementia! Jul 25, 2020
BLACK DEMENTIA II 2029: Part Two of our program of Black Dementia shows off more of the huge variety of entertainment that fits in that category, from the ridiculous to the sublime. Jul 18, 2020
BLACK LIVES MATTER 2028: This show features more than an hour of great Demented music and comedy from artists who happen to be Black. From Bert Williams and Cab Calloway to Richard Pryor and Sir Mix-a-lot, the great ones are out in force. First of two parts. (Note: On the Pryor track he tells why he dropped the N-word from his act; in the process, he speaks the word several times. It is the last track in the show). Jul 11, 2020
AMERICA 2027: America's a better than average country, as countries go. I'll celebrate some of its good points, and call out some of its bad ones, on the show debuting (appropriately enough) on the Fourth of July. I'll also commemorate the late Carl Reiner. Jul 4, 2020
TOP TEN 2026: Here's the Top Ten for June 2020 - halfway through this tumultuous year! Plus more trash and treasures, summertime songs, and a whole set of Happy Songs. Jun 27, 2020
FATHER'S DAY 2025: There are more songs about mothers than about fathers, but father songs are more likely to be Demented! Some of the best ones, and maybe one or two of the worst, are on this week's show. Jun 20, 2020
FUNNY PARODIES/FROGS 2024: A Dr Demento double feature this week -- parodies of songs that are already funny, and some cool songs about frogs. The second set really stinks, though! Jun 13, 2020
BASEMENT TAPES #4 2023: Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes #4 is the most sought-after CD in the series; we ran out years ago! Hear it complete on this show. Plus hot new stuff and some cool Demented oldies! Jun 6, 2020
TOP TEN 2022: 1991 was a busy year! The 20th Anniversary Collection, our all time best-seller, was released on CD and cassette...we had a gala 20th Anniversary concert, shown on Comedy Central...and the Doctor interviewed Tom Lehrer. This week's show has highlights of all those, plus more of the Strangest Songs, and the Top Ten! May 30, 2020
STRANGE SONGS 2021: What is the strangest song you know? A listener asked that question on the Dr. Demento Official Facebook group. Hear some of the amazing songs other listeners suggested on this show! May 23, 2020
ALIENS 2020: Our topic today is aliens. Fascinating creatures, whose shape and size is limited only by our imagination! We also remember Little Richard, Florian Schneider and Jerry Stiller. May 16, 2020
MOTHER'S DAY/NUDITY 2019: A double feature for you today - Mother's Day plus Nudity. A couple of songs fit in both categories! May 9, 2020
MARIJUANA 2018: The crisis rages on, and our intrepid songwriters continue to inspire us. Hear the latest shining examples on each week's show -- then escape into the land of Dementia! This week, marijuana melodies through the decades. May 2, 2020
BASEMENT TAPES 3/TOP TEN 2017: A tribute to Ian Whitcomb, PLUS Basement Tapes 3 complete, PLUS the Top Ten for April! Durty wirds on #4 and #6. Apr 25, 2020
STORY SONGS 2016: Here's another Dr. Demento Story Hour -- "Mississippi Squirrel Revival," "Crispy Critters," "Albuquerque" and more that are as good the eleventh time as the first -- plus Earth Day, "It's In the Book" (the one about Grandma's lye soap) and the Demented Year 1985. Apr 18, 2020
EASTER 2015: Happy Easter! I've got a basket full of novelty tunes about bunnies and eggs (powerful fertility symbols for springtime!), plus "Eat It" and more from the Year in Dementia 1984...and farewell salutes to John Prine and music producer Hal Willner. Apr 11, 2020
STORY SONGS 2014: Once again we begin with new STORY SONGS songs (note: lots of f-words in the third one) but we soon move on to more pleasant topics - Story Songs, requests, the Demented Year 1983, and a YouTube star whose music videos have been a pleasant surprise (even though they're not comedy) while I'm voluntarily sequestered in Dementia Central. Apr 4, 2020
TOP TEN 2013: Here's the Top Ten for March - a month when the headlines were monopolized by coronavirus. This show features a dozen songs about that, all new this month (and all remarkably different from each other, musically and lyrically). Other great goodies too, including The Year of Dementia: 1982. Mar 28, 2020
PSEUDONYMS 2012: Nearly all of the new songs and parodies that came in this week, and well over half the requests, have been for songs, old and new, that somehow relate to COVID-19 and especially the enforced "social distance" or whatever you want to call it. We are living in historic times! This show begins with a half hour devoted to that. For the rest of the show we move on to more pleasant territory with "Surprises in Disguises," songs by artists recording under pseudonyms Mar 21, 2020
ST. PATRICK'S DAY 2011: The St. Patrick's Day Parades may be cancelled, but my St. Patrick's Day show is ready for you now! The new show also features the Year in Dementia 1980 (and what a year that was!) and Carla Ulbrich's new CD. Mar 14, 2020
BASEMENT TAPES #2 2010: This week's show features Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes #2, including Whimsical Will's all time most-requested episode, Weird Al, Barnes & Barnes and 22 more, plus A Year In Dementia: 1979 and a mess of other goodies (and maybe a baddie or two). Mar 7, 2020
TOP TEN 2009: Here's the Top Ten for February, together with The Year in Dementia 1978 (the year of Fish Heads, Titties and Beer, and our first Westwood One show) plus a curated selection of artisan-crafted Dementia from yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Feb 29, 2020
HAWAII 2008: Today I have a tropical treat for your February - demented tunes from Hawaii and other balmy climes. We also have another de-mo-mentous Year in Dementia, a few songs for Washington's Birthday, and I'll discuss two, that's two brand new books about "Weird Al" Yankovic! (note: the fifth song in the show has a four-letter C-word which is very nasty in the USA, but less so in England, and is specifically used in the British context, which I explain after it plays). Feb 22, 2020
FIRST BASEMENT TAPE 2007: This week we salute another great Year in Dementia, 1976. Also a tribute to that amazing entertainer Orson Bean, and the very first Dr. Demento Basement Tape in its entirety. Feb 15, 2020
DEMENTED LOVE SONGS 2006: Can a song (or a person) be both Deeeeeeeeemented and romantic? Check out this week's show for more than 90 minutes of deeeemented love songs, plus the Demented year 1975 and other surprises. Feb 8, 2020
REQUESTS 2005: Requests rule on this week's show! Over an hour of individual requests, from all over the funny-music map, plus the Top Ten for January. Feb 1, 2020
COMEDY HISTORY 2004: Since 1994 Dr D has given talks on comedy and music history almost every year at his alma mater, Reed College. This show features an adaptation of one of those, a survey of 20th Century spoken comedy on records, sketches and standup (and a couple of songs). Plus "A Year In Dementia" (1973), the Demented News, a short tribute to Terry Jones, and more. A few F-words toward the end, and a few ethnic slurs typical of the times (but no N-words). Jan 25, 2020
RANDOM CHOICE 2003: This is like a random choice show - except I switched some of the random choices to things I thought really deserved, or even needed, to be heard! Some new things and requests too. Hope you like it - comments welcome at drdemento.com or the Dr D Official Facebook group. Jan 18, 2020
2002 RADIO MORNING SHOWS: A topic we haven't covered before - Demented Hits from Radio Morning Shows. There've been a ton of them - "The Devil Went to Jamaica," "Squirrels" and "We Love Barney Fife" for starters. Some surprises too. Our historical recap of The Years of Dementia reaches 1971 - an offhand guess I made that year about the show's future would come very true eight years later. Jan 11, 2020
NEIL INNES TRIBUTE 2001: We lost some good people over the holidays, including Neil Innes, co-founder of the Bonzo Dog band, who also provided lots of music for Monty Python and the Rutles among many others. Dr D recorded a 55-minute interview with Neil in 1994, and it's all on this show, the first time it's been heard since then. This show also has a tribute to Don Imus, and the debut of an exciting new feature celebrating the show's 50th anniversary. (Note: the survey of Demented hits created for radio morning shows has been rescheduled for Jan. 11th). Jan 4, 2020
FUNNY 25 1952: The Funny 25 countdown for 2019, plus After-Christmas, New Year's, and a tribute to Uncle Vic of "Space Invaders" fame. Dec 28, 2019
HOLIDAYS 1951: Our Christmas celebration winds up this year with more old favorites and new surprises. Special added attraction: hilarious hits for Hanukkah! One f-word (along with a box of candy and a piece of fruit) in the fourth-from-last song, otherwise PG-13. Dec 21, 2019
HOLIDAY 1950: Holiday show number two for 2019 once again puts the spotlight on Santa Claus, aka St. Nicholas, the saint who with a slight alteration of his name became the King of secular Christmas. More requests, more new songs (one created just a few days ago) and more beloved oldies. One F-word in the third-from-last song. Dec 14, 2019
HOLIDAYS I 1949: Here's the first holiday show for 2019. Santa gets no respect in some of our songs this week! Dec 7, 2019
BARNES & BARNES INTERVIEW/WINTER/TOP TEN 1948: Our 2019 holiday celebrations begin as for the first time in over 20 years we welcome Barnes & Barnes for a "Holidaze in Lumania" interview! Plus a first-hour Free-for-All with lots of winter wondersongs, and the Top Ten. Nov 30, 2019
TURKEYS 1947: Happy Thanksgiving! Once again this year I have tons of tunes about our annual feast day, famous and obscure, sincere and cynical, but mostly a little skeptical. After that, it'll be time once again for musical turkeys - the absolute worst! Nov 23, 2019
CLASSICAL 1946: Here's another salute to classical music, which is also known as "serious music". Being serious, it's very fertile territory for spoof and satire, as many artists inside and outside the field have discovered. This is a sequel to our May 4, 2019 show, with just one piece duplicated. Nov 16, 2019
PSYCHIATRY II 1945: In which we wrap up our comedy-music survey of mental disorders, and the sane and sometimes insane things we do to treat them. Nov 9, 2019
PSYCHIATRY 1944: Mental illness, psychosis and neurosis, is a very serious issue - but it has inspired a whole lot of really funny songs over the years. Some are goofy, some are profound. Many were written by eminently sane people, but others - who knows? This week we also have the Top Ten for October. Nov 2, 2019
HALLOWEEN 1943: Here's Part Two of the all-new Spooky Tunes and Scary Melodies show for 2019! (The October Top Ten debuts on November 2). Oct 26, 2019
HALLOWEEN 1942: The nights are cooler and the Jack O'Lanterns are glowing and it's time once again for our Halloween shows! Here is the first of two new shows for this year, including old favorites, new discoveries and a whole lot of your requests. Oct 19, 2019
POTTY HUMOR 1941: Our topic today is something we're all familiar with - toilets! Commodes! In other words, potty humor! I've never declared that as a special topic before, but judging by all the requests that came in, this should be one of our most popular topics ever. Oct 12, 2019
OBSOLETE 1940: Today's topic is Funny Songs (and spoken bits) about Forgotten Phenomena. Many of these were very popular on the show when they first came out, and many are still hilarious (I'll say a few words now and then to explain things). Also a pop-up topic - Things On Fire (that aren't supposed to be). Oct 5, 2019
TOP TEN/COUNTRY 1939: The Top Ten for September 2019, plus a fun little stack of crazy Country! note: Top Ten song #3 has the f-word, repeated to the point of absurdity! Sep 28, 2019
ANIMALS 1938: More animal songs this week...Demented tunes about animals in the zoo, animals in the wild, and animals in our imagination! Plus Talk Like a Pirate Weekend, A Statistically Significant Love Song, and what you can do with a time machine (but maybe shouldn't). Sep 21, 2019
FARM 1937: On Dr. Demento's farm, he grows funny songs instead of chickens or rutabagas. He has a bumper crop this time and plays about 90 minutes worth on this show! Plus some hot new stuff in the first half hour. Sep 14, 2019
FRUIT 1936: Our topic today is fruit, featuring the funniest fruit of all! We also have a generous first hour Free-For-All with Groucho, Carlton the Doorman and Randy Rainbow's latest. Fragrant fumes and durty wurds in the very last track. Sep 7, 2019
LABOR DAY 1935: Happy Labor Day, everyone! Dr. D worked overtime to bring you a show with songs about work that are fun to listen to, PLUS the Top Ten for August, PLUS a half-hour free-for-all to start the show! Aug 31, 2019
SCHOOL 1934: With most kids back in school, once again we celebrate all things scholastic -grade school, high school and college! Also a few songs about snack food, and a tribute to the late Kip Addotta ("Wet Dream.") Aug 24, 2019
CATS 1933: There are not as many cat songs as there are dog songs, but some cat songs are extra special, and very demented! Lots of those on this week's show, along with a tribute to the late Dick Price, and a 50th anniversary salute to Disneyland's Haunted Mansion, with former Mansion employee Whimsical Will. Aug 17, 2019
DOGS 1932: The dog days are here, and the Doctor has 90 minutes of Demented dog songs and sketches for you. Plus the Ravings of John McCullough, and Whimsical Will's fateful trip down that Old Town Road! Aug 10, 2019
FISH 1931: Still a whole lot of funny fish songs in the Lake of Dementia, so this week we're back to catch some more! Plus lots of your requests in the first hour. Aug 3, 2019
TOP TEN 1930: "Raining Tacos" has been "weaponized" in Florida! This week's show is dripping with taco tunes, and money, and moose turds...and of course, the Top Ten for July. Rated PG-13 for Randy Rainbow's latest tribute to our great leader, and a few other durty wurds. Jul 27, 2019
GAMES 1929: Our topic is Games - all kinds of games, but mostly the less athletic kind - video games, role-playing games and the like - plus the 50th anniversary of the moon landing (July 20) and the 30th anniversary of something a little more Demented. Jul 20, 2019
SOUND EFFECTS PART TWO 1928: Here's Part 2 of our sound effects extravaganza, a tribute to Mad Magazine, and more! Jul 13, 2019
ALL-TIME FUNNY 25 1927: And here's the All-Time Funny 25! The most requested songs and stories in the 49-year history of the Dr. Demento Show, counted down from #25 to Number One. (A few extras are heard at the start of the show). Jul 6, 2019
TOP TEN 1926: Top Ten time for June! For the rest of the show, the theme is America. A very broad theme for a very broad country. A couple tracks were even recorded in England, but they're about America. Jun 29, 2019
RANDOM 1925: Normally each show has a topic these days, but this one does not, which makes it abnormal (even more than most of my shows!) Most of the songs were picked at random. Some tried and true favorites along with many we haven't heard in years. Jun 22, 2019
FATHER'S DAY 1924: Happy Father's Day! Here's an hour of funny fatherly favorites, plus a tribute to my late colleague Dr. John, some of your requests and a few provocative animal songs. Jun 15, 2019
FISH 1923: This week's topic is fish...and fishing! Got a bucketful of funny songs about scaly-swimmy-finny creatures, from their point of view and ours, and a hearty free-for-all in Hour One. First of two parts (the second round arrives on August 3). Jun 8, 2019
SOUND EFFECTS 1922: For over a century, recording artists, and comedy song artists especially, have occasionally (or frequently) used sound effects to illustrate a point or simply for fun. Many listeners have suggested examples, and we'll hear some rare and great ones on this week's show. We'll also bid farewell to Leon Redbone and Tony Glover. Jun 1, 2019
TOP TEN 1921: The Top Ten for May 2019. The Official Dr D Facebook group was very busy this week, and this show has a whole lot of your requests, plus Andy Merrill and Dr D singing "Shaving Cream" at East Coast Comicon! May 25, 2019
FAVORITES 1920: Not long ago there was a fine discussion on the Dr D Facebook group in which listeners named their favorite Demented Disc of all time. I figured that was worth turning into a show, and here it is! May 18, 2019
MOTHER'S DAY 1919: It's another Mothers Day show. Mothers and others with an open mind and a sense of humor are welcome to listen! Free-for-all in the first hour, with some kinky bits in the second segment (note the song titles). May 11, 2019
CLASSICAL 1918: Rural hip-hop is big these days. I played a song about that a dozen years ago! That one is on the show again this week, along with the Canadian song The Simpsons wanted to use but couldn't get permission. Plus an hour of classical music spoofs - PDQ Bach, Spike Jones, Florence Foster Jenkins and more. May 4, 2019
TOP TEN 1917: The Top Ten for April 2019, plus three (3) new songs inspired by Avengers:Endgame, several listeners' choices for a future All Time Funny 25, and lots more surprises new and old. Apr 27, 2019
EASTER/EARTH DAY 1916: Easter is this weekend...and the very next day is Earth Day. We'll celebrate both, along with the first novelty song to hit #1 on the pop charts in ages (and a parody of that song as well)...plus a whole lot of garbage! Some cuss words in the second song. Apr 20, 2019
ALCOHOL II 1915: Here's the promised sequel to our March 9 festival of funny drinking songs. Plenty of hilarity, even if you don't imbibe! Tattoos and tomatoes too (and a few naughty words). Apr 13, 2019
MEDICINE 1914: Here's the sequel to our Medicine Show from March 2, with lots more mad medical melodies, musical miracle cures and hospital horror stories! Plus our usual assortment of requests and more mischief in Hour One. Apr 6, 2019
TOP TEN 1913: Here's the Top Ten for March, and a sheaf of other stuff - yoga, Yogi, underwear, baseball, Star Trek, and (for just a minute or two) Dr D's birthday. As Weird Al says, dare to be stupid! Mar 30, 2019
HAIR 1912: What do Donald Trump and The Beatles have in common? When they first became famous, the first thing many people talked about was their hair. Hear songs about them and lots more hairy guys and gals, plus a Dick Dale tribute and lots more on this all-new Dr. Demento Show. Mar 23, 2019
SCIENCE 1911: Today we have a banquet of Dementia! In addition to our special topic which is Science, we'll celebrate the spring equinox and St. Patrick's day...and for appetizers, "Opinion Rhapsody" and more amazing new stuff along with rare oldies by request. The very last song has a bunch of f-words. Mar 16, 2019
ALCOHOL 1910: An all-new show with a familiar topic - alcohol. It's inspired songwriters for millenia, bringing forth thousands of sad songs and funny songs (you can guess which kind I'll be playing!) You'll be riotously entertained, even if you never touch the stuff. Mar 9, 2019
DOCTORS 1909: Today Dr. Demento salutes doctors of medicine (and nurses too) along with some of the more amusing things that come up while they work to repair our bodies. Lots of requests, oddities and rarities in the first hour. Mar 2, 2019
TOP TEN 1908: Here's the Top Ten for February 2019, plus the Logan Awards nominees for outstanding song parody of 2018, a tribute to Ken Nordine (of Word Jazz fame), and a song for Peter Tork. Note: lots of F-words in one song, in a non-sexual context. Feb 23, 2019
BABIES 1907: Today's subject is babies. They're a pleasure (and a treasure) and they are a pain, and today we have funny songs about both! Also the Logan Awards nominees for Outstanding Original Comedy Song of 2018. Feb 16, 2019
LOVE SONGS 1906: With Valentine's Day coming up on Thursday, here's my annual Love Song special, with over an hour of Demented love songs, plus a salute to the new "Madam Opus" CD of funny songs by funny women, and a new country song about atonal music (!). Rated PG-13. Feb 9, 2019

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Corequisite(s): MATH 800 AQ is linked with CRN 42034: MATH 200 AQ. When you enroll in a linked section you must enroll in the companion course(s).
NOTE: This section is cohort restricted for students in the ASTEP Learning Community. If you would like more information, please contact Marisa Thigpen, Learning Communities Program Services Coordinator, at (650) 738-7178, or by email at thigpenm@smccd.edu. Students enrolling in MATH 800 AQ (CRN 46502) must also enroll in MATH 200 AQ (CRN 42034).


text:
UPDATE - Governor Hope Uzodinma Adopts 9-Year-Old Singer Who Went Viral
Governor Hope Uzodinma Adopts 9-Year-Old Singer Who Went Viral
Imo State Governor, Hope Uzodinma has announced that he will adopt and sponsor a
9-year-old boy who went viral after a video of him singing Catholic hymns was shared on social media.
In the spirit of Father's Day celebration, Governor Hope Uzodinma has bequeathed a ray of hope to a talented kid in Imo state
9-year-old Joseph Oluomachi Opara hawks coconut and pear on the street. However, in addition to petty trading, Joseph serenades his customers by singing to them as he sells his goods.
He was filmed singing and the video went viral as Nigerians appreciated his talent.
In celebration of Fathers' Day, Imo State Governor, Hope Uzodinma announced he will adopt him. He also said he will sponsor his education.
Here Are Hope Uzodinma's Tweets;
Below is the video of Joseph that went viral.


Variants of the expression "It's the economy, stupid" have become commonplace in American politics. This is a slight turn of phrase, adding "it's" in front of the original phrase, "The economy, stupid!" coined by James Carville, campaign strategist for Bill Clinton's successful 1992 presidential campaign.
However, instead of the economy, today, the phrase focuses the spotlight of public attention on the political controversy du jour. Examples include "It's the deficit, stupid!" or "It's the corporation, stupid!" or "It's ISIS, stupid!" In a British political satire The Thick of It, one of the characters writes a book titled, It's the Everything, Stupid. Now that is a phrase relevant to the political climate in America today.
In light of this, many today are shouting, "it's the wall, stupid!" or "it's illegal immigration, dummy!" based on a position taken by an unseemly, but popular Reality TV host turned presidential candidate.
A quote often attributed to Abraham Lincoln suggests it is, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." But, to quote yet another current candidate, enough is enough! I find myself compelled to speak out on this subject. It is possible that my post will remove any doubt the reader has about me in this regard. Nevertheless, here goes.
In an earlier post, I detailed my opinion about the wisdom of building a 1,954 mile long wall across our southern border. A person of average intelligence should be able to determine that a wall is, at best, a speed bump on the road to immigration. At worst, it is only a visual aid. If we think it will stop those desperate to seek a better life, or to escape calamity, then we have not learned the lessons of history.
A belief in the efficacy of this proposed wall clearly demonstrates we have forgotten that, for more than a century, tens of thousands of people braved the North Atlantic, in what were very small wooden ships, for the chance of freedom and a better life. During the Irish migration, those ships became known as "coffin ships." In order to maintain this sham, we must fail to take note of the fact that, in the past 50 years, many thousands of people overloaded small rafts and dinghy's, or crawled onto pieces of wood and rubber, in an attempt to navigate the Florida straits, for that same shot at a better life.
Holding stubbornly to our faith in a wall as the solution to this problem forces us to turn a blind eye to current events in the eastern Mediterranean. And one more thing, this misplaced faith compels us to ignore the demonstrated failure of the iron curtain. Now that was a wall!
Let's be clear, Jeb Bush was right when he said illegal immigration is all about love. Yes, there are those whose intent in crossing the border illegally is only to support a criminal enterprise, whether drug smuggling, human trafficking or otherwise. And, while many wish to ignore the fact, the truth is, regardless of the underlying reason, those who cross our border illegally, or who violate the terms of a work permit or visa, are breaking our laws. Of this, there can be no disagreement.
As Marco Rubio suggests, first and foremost, we must secure our borders. We must do that before we address overall immigration. But that doesn't mean we should all run out, grabbing a brick hod on the way, and start building a wall. Yes, in urban areas, walls and fencing are appropriate. Erecting gates and barriers, complete with manned check points, across roads that traverse our border is also suitable. Increasing electronic surveillance, supplemented by aerial and ground patrolling is an absolute necessity.
It is not often that I agree with Mr. Trump, but he is correct on one point. A country without borders is not a country. We are not a nation unless we have and enforce borders. That said, real enforcement of our borders does not occur solely at the border. The real bulk of that effort occurs within our borders.
Border enforcement exists only if we enforce our immigration laws. Thus, I might add a corollary to Mr. Trump's statement. If a country does not have laws, or refuses to enforce those laws, it is not a country. It is a collection of individuals spiraling into anarchy.
So here's my plan to fix the snafu known as our illegal immigration problem. This plan is based on the following assumptions.
First, a significant plurality, if not outright majority, of those here illegally, entered our country legally. However, like those least favored in-laws, many have overstayed their welcome, or at least their approved stay.
Second, our unwillingness to enforce our laws, best demonstrated by the creation of sanctuary cities, or the issuance of executive orders, not only perpetuates the problem, it serves as an incentive to come here illegally.
Third, our antiquated tax code, particularly payroll taxes, serves as an incentive to businesses to hire illegal immigrants and pay them "off-the-books", further magnifying the problem.
Finally, most elected officials would rather put an unyielding stake in the ground, in a blatant attempt to score some political points, rather than reach a consensus agreement on a common sense solution.
Announce to the world that, henceforth, America's borders are closed to illegal immigration.
Build appropriate barriers, gates and checkpoints, not a "wall."
Dramatically increase aerial and ground patrolling of our borders.
Increase electronic surveillance of our borders.
Arrest, detain and return those attempting to enter illegally.
Document the identity, including fingerprinting and DNA of those caught entering illegally.
Suspend all aid to countries that refuse the repatriation of those who have entered the US illegally.
B. Immediately begin to manage legal immigration.
Create or expand electronic verification of all those entering.
Implement an entry-exit visa tracking system.
Enforce visa work permit length of stay.
C. Eliminate incentives to further illegal immigration.
Immediately cut off federal funding to sanctuary cities.
Immediately reform the tax code to eliminate the payroll tax, a leading contributor to "off-the-books" employment.
Issue an executive order that anyone caught entering illegally following the enactment of these policies, shall be immediately deported and shall be forever banned from reentering the United States. This is a "one bite at the apple" program.
D. Provide an incentive to those here illegally to come out of the shadows.
Issue an executive order requiring all employers to re-certify their workforce and report any workers who are not in the country legally. This process must be completed within 6 months.
Issue an executive order that all aliens in the United States illegally must voluntarily turn themselves in. This process must be completed within 6 months.
Issue a corollary order that, pending passage of controlling legislation, those who turn themselves in voluntarily will not be subject to automatic deportation.
Issue a codicil that mandates deportation of anyone who does not voluntarily turn themselves in, should such a person be identified by any other legal means. Anyone so deported will be banned from ever reentering the country. Again, this is a "one bite at the apple" policy.
Subject all those who turn themselves in to a thorough background check. Those who have not committed a crime, other than crossing into, or staying in America illegally, will be given documentation allowing them to stay until governing laws are passed.
Those who pass a background check and are permitted to stay must register, including provision of fingerprints and a DNA sample.
Require all who register and stay to report to an immigration office at least monthly, verifying residence address and employment status. Failure to do results in automatic deportation with no chance of reentry.
Assess a penalty against those remaining. Give them time to pay it, but through payroll deduction.
Deport all those identified as having committed a crime.
Once all of these programs are in place, the President should sit down with Congress and negotiate a comprehensive plan for immigration for the 21st century.
We get many of our liquid refreshment choices from other countries. Scotch from Scotland and Whiskey from Canada and Ireland. Beers and Ales from England and Germany. Tequila from Mexico. Rum from the Caribbean islands.
I am going to study up on immigration by exploring some of those beverages.


University of Alabama Vice-President for Financial Affairs, Kerry Kennedy, told faculty and staff on March 2nd that the health insurance system is in crisis. An additional $4.5 million must be found to beef up the financial reserves of the system. The administration has already proposed changes to the system to generate more money. All of the changes increase costs for University employees.
Interesting, isn't it? It turns out that $4.5 million is "relatively minor" when it comes to prettying up the building that bears Senator Shelby's name. But when it comes to providing affordable health care to faculty and staff? Then the administration throws up its hands, and the only way to get the cash is to extract it from already underpaid university employee whose benefits are dropping.
Meanwhile, the Administration continues an employee firing binge (see story below) like there's no tomorrow.
It just goes to show where the priorites of the Witt administration actually reside.
Perhaps Mr. Kennedy and his boss should give some thought to this suggestion: less fancy accoutrements for a boondoggle building project, and more basic funding to keep our faculty and staff healthy and safe, and their jobs secure.
Final note: We understand that Batson-Cook, the Shelby Hall contractor, might be suing the University, and that the University might be counter-suing Batson-Cook, in what looks like another expensive mess. More on this later . . . but one thing's for sure, you sure as heck won't read about it in The Tuscaloosa News.


Yesterday morning my son and I headed over to the high school for a morning run with a bunch of other people. It was the annual Hearts for Hunger 5K to benefit the Vermont Foodbank. We ran it last year and it was a great event, so we signed up again this year.
It was a chilly morning so we ditched our sweatshirts at the last minute. It was about 52 degrees at start time so it was pretty ideal for a run. My son had asked me ahead of time: "Is it OK if I ditch you?" It was, and he did.
He ran ahead and I lingered in the scrum for a bit. Once I was free to follow my own pace he was far ahead. I could see him pretty much the whole time, and we high-fived as I approached the turn-around point and he was heading back. There was a water station there so I slowed to take a drink. That was my mistake.
I kept getting closer to him the whole way back, but at one point he turned around and saw me. I wanted to catch him. I had a little pride I guess, but he was having none of his old man catching him at that point. He had a little pride as well. We ran uphill and we both were getting pretty hot in the bright sun, but he kicked it in and finished before me.
I was kind of out of gas at that point. Too little sleep (my daughter had a late performance last night in Burlington) will do that. But close to the finish line I could hear someone coming up from behind me. I picked up my pace but he kept coming. So I sprinted across the finish line with him close behind. Then I really was out of gas.
I thanked the guy who tried to catch me for giving me a push. I wanted to finish behind my son to avoid any future ribbing from him. So, we both pushed ourselves and felt good about it and ate a cookie and drank some water. We waited around for the awards and raffle and he took home a box of fudge. It was peanut butter fudge (um, what?) but hey, free fudge.
This was our second 5K this spring. We will do more as they come up. The marathon in Burlington happens Memorial Day weekend. Back in the day that was an annual event for my wife and I. Maybe one of these days we can do it with our kids. That, however, will require I have a little bit more gas at the start.
Look for flycatchers and warblers? Or run the trail around the pond?
Now that it is May I am conflicted. The best time to go for a run for me is first thing in the morning. If I go early I have the least impact on my family, plus it just gets done. Putting it off means sometimes other things get in the way. If I go early, I go. The best time to go birding, however, is also first thing in the morning.
At first light the birds start singing their dawn chorus and, right now, the leaves are still not fully formed. So I can hear birds and see them. Migrants are passing through as well, so some birds can only be seen now since they don't stick around to nest here. So what is a guy to do?
On the one hand I have been running a good amount, and I have not been injured. So I want to make sure I keep that streak going. But it is not easy to run in the morning when I hear all those songs. I hear something different and I just want to stop to find out what it is. And I do. But without binoculars (I am not carrying those on a run) it can be hard to see a little warbler way up in a birch tree. So I get stymied figuring out what it is. That means I am not really getting the most from my run and I am not really birding. I need to pick.
Rainy days in May are good for running, not because they make for the best runs but because it is harder to hear and see birds. In fact, I would have gone running this morning, but I had to take half the family to the airport. That means I did not bird or run. Some mornings are like that. But if it is raining when I wake? Grab the running shoes.
Mostly I need to get out to find birds now. This really is a small window. Soon the trees will be fully leafed out and those warblers will be way more elusive. And those birds don't sing for long–in a month and a half they will start to quiet down. And those migrants? Need to find them while they are here.
So I need to get in some runs, for sure, but it is May, for goodness' sake. This is the birder's month in Vermont. It used to be the best month for running but since I have gotten into birding I am torn. It is a fortunate problem to have, is it not?


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