I've been blessed with several truly incredible friends in my life. I'm going to talk about one of them today.
Anyway, this particular friend has been a consistent source of humor, intelligent conversation, and sincere comfort all throughout our relationship. We "officially" met during auditions for a Christmas play (which would find us portraying brother and sister), but we'd actually met about 6 weeks earlier at the start of the school year. My brother, Ray, called out his name in the courtyard, causing him to cast his eyes back towards us. He adjusted his school bag and white sweater (notable because almost every other student in the school wore garnet) as he turned towards us and sheepishly waved "Hi."
We've come a long way since that half-hearted hello. I've always known what a blessing he is in my life, and I've always voiced my appreciation for our friendship. However, he recently said something that was like a burning arrow straight to the center of my soul. It actually rendered me speechless, and I've been thinking about it - almost nonstop - since he wrote it to me exactly 3 weeks ago.
We've spoken since, but I haven't really addressed it because of how deeply it affected me... how deeply it still affects me.
even see anything he's done as remotely wrong. He. Doesn't. Deserve.
At the very least - you haven't done anything. Please do not feel as if YOU are not worthy here. You're supposed to be upset, enraged, etc. You need the support of it.
I'm no priest, but I suppose I could be called a theologian. There is nothing theologically keeping you. Murder him (like I want to) then I suppose you'd be unworthy... until confession.
Don't be afraid of that nourishment.
And don't be afraid to talk to me, k? Even when you want to talk, we have to spend 30 minutes of you asking me questions about my life, as if you needing to talk about something is selfish. It's not. Call, text, facebook, GChat, snapchat, Instagram, etc. me any hour, K?
1) You need Jesus. You absolutely, 100% need Him in the Eucharist, so go get Him. Now.
2) Not only is it okay for you to be upset / angry / murderous, I FEEL IT WITH YOU.
I don't think I can overstate how much that solidarity means to me and how I appreciated that he understood how much I actually needed the steel of those emotions! So far, the majority of people who know about the divorce have steered so clear of any mention of how horrific John's actions have been that you'd think they approve. Knowing that there was someone who understood and was just as repulsed and angry and indignant as I was made me feel so much better. It was like "Ah, thank you! Thank you for sharing this burden with me, because I am suffocating under the weight of guilt that does not belong to me."
For those of you who watch The Big Bang Theory, I felt like Penny after she'd discovered online gaming. I'd gotten so immersed in the battlefield of surviving divorce that I didn't realize just how badly I needed outside help.
Reading his message, I honest-to-God had a lightbulb moment of "Wow, I'm super jacked up and no amount of blogging therapy is going to fix this. He's right. I need the Eucharist. I need my friends."
And in truth, I suddenly recognized how much these friends have buoyed me these last few months. Theresa has checked in on me more times than I can count. JK has rallied her prayer warriors for months (years, really). Mary has offered sound psychological counseling. Brett and Sam have voiced their dismay, and God bless them, Hugh and Kim have hugged me from afar in New York. And of course, this one. This one. Dear God, this one.
So yeah. I needed to finally get around to processing my appreciation for that message. It's not often I get heart-tackled by an e-mail, but that's precisely what happened.
To this person - if you pop back here to see this - I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you. The Holy Spirit was with you somethin' fierce while you were typing that, and I still feel a bruise where those words smashed through me. But they were necessary. So thank you.
I was asked to dinner by a very nice, very handsome, and very successful gentleman a couple weeks ago. I turned him down.
When he first asked, I actually thought he was kidding. I mean, he had just found out I was recently divorced (actually in process), that I have two kids, and that I am just starting out with a new job. What in the world would he want to take me to dinner for? Obviously it was a joke.
But it wasn't. When we parted for the night, he explained he'd be down in my area again in a couple weeks. He asked me to reconsider because he did, in fact, want to take me to dinner.
I bumbled my way through an excuse of sorts (because I am not even REMOTELY in this dude's league, and I have no intention of him ever realizing that). I then called my best friend and basically spewed "WTH, WTH, WTH, WTH, WTH" for the rest of the ride home.
Because seriously - what the heck?!
For those of you who are newly single (or in process, like me), this is going to be something that happens. It might happen right away - it might take a while - but eventually, you're going to be faced with the reality that you are no longer part of a pair and someone, somewhere, is going to want to rectify that.
To be honest, I wasn't expecting this to ever happen. Barring catcalls, the last time I was legitimately hit on was years ago. I don't typically dress up and go out, and when I have, it's been on the arm of my (soon-to-be-ex) husband. Thus, the opportunity to find myself in the above situation hasn't really presented itself until recently.
Now, it's sorta my job to dress up and attend social events. I no longer skate by with jeans, t-shirts and messy buns. I actually have to put on dresses, wear jewelry and *gasp of horror* smack on some makeup. God help me, I'm turning into a proper woman.
In all seriousness, though, this experience made me realize that not only am I on the cusp of being divorced; I am possibly on the cusp of being able to go on dates!
Because seriously. This has got to be one of the biggest temptations / pitfalls for the newly divorced: rushing head first into a new relationship NOT because we're looking forward, but because we're looking backwards and trying to catch the broken heart that's hurtling towards the ground at a bazillion miles a minute.
The worst part though, is that this terrible idea is supported by everyone because folks seem to think the best way to heal a broken heart is to hand it to a stranger.
"Get back in the saddle!" they suggest.
And to this, I have to say "No."
First of all, I'm not even legally divorced yet. And even if I were, the annulment takes another year or so to complete. So canonically speaking, I would be committing adultery if I even attempted to date anyone before the Church grants me the decree (if I'm granted one at all).
Secondly, and this from a purely psychological standpoint, I've spent the last 12 years in a committed relationship - 8 of them married. To shift from that sort of paradigm to one of being single is a HUGE shift that deserves a good amount of time to process. I should be focusing on finding stability for myself and my children, not looking to rock the boat with a new relationship and all the drama that goes along with it.
But the temptation is there, especially when an attractive man sweet talks you and presses you for dinner in Philly's theater district. The temptation comes again when your friends tell you that they know of so-and-so who would be perfect for you. The temptation comes when you see commercials for dating sites that promise you the perfect relationship you always knew you deserved!
And while I was able to fight the temptation when it surprised me out of nowhere, I fell victim to it on a gray and rainy afternoon after both of the kids had stretched into an unheard of synchronized nap.
Yup. I fell. Harder than Bryce Harper hit that wall up there!
I signed up for a free trial of a popular dating site "just to see what's out there" I told myself.
Within the hour, I closed the account because I got over 3 dozen messages from men I wanted no parts of.
I wasn't interested in dating; I didn't want a relationship. I just wanted to be assured that it was still a possibility should I be able to pursue it in the future.
Because should you find yourself in a similar situation, you are going to be faced with the same temptations (yes, that's plural).
When you are struggling through a divorce, especially a divorce which you did not initiate, you are tempted with self-doubt. You are tempted with despair. Then, as you seek to allay those fears, you are tempted to heal them with temporary fluffs to your pride. Messages from online folks who are chomping at the bit to tell you how beautiful, funny, sweet and incredible you are (not really making that decision based on anything but a profile picture and a Robert Frost quote you vaguely remember from high school) is basically instant gratification. Agreeing to a date with a friend of a friend's cousin might help you focus on something new for a short time before your present reality reminds you it exists. Even flirting with the coffee barista who knows your favorite drink (and the drinks of every other customer who walks through the door, remember) seems appealing.
Fight the temptation. Don't give in. Not until you have given yourself enough time to find happiness for yourself. Not until you know who YOU are and what YOU want.
And certainly not until you are both divorced AND have the marriage annulled by the Church. Heaven forbid you start something that can't actually be finished on account of that whole "Crap, I'm still married in the eyes of God" business. That's not fair to you, and it's certainly not fair to the person you'd be pursuing.
So I know how easy it is to mess up. If messing up were an Olympic sport, I'd be a platinum medalist with my own cereal and legions of adoring fans. Thank God for Confession.
Anyway, the point is, the temptation to get involved with dating before your marriage is properly annulled is a very real danger. However, it's symptomatic of the feelings of worthlessness / despair / frustration you feel as a result of the trauma of having your heart smashed into a billion pieces.
Don't compound the issue by pulling a Harper and diving into a wall. Not only will your heart continue breaking - the rest of you will, too.
So my buddy, Brett, asked me to post what my various nativities look like. I figured I'd be easier to just shoot a quick video.
That being said, nativity art is some of my absolute favorite. If you've got videos / photos of yours, please share them! I'm especially a fan of those of you who do the traveling wisemen. So please, link 'em if you've got 'em!
This is a repost from November 19, 2014. It's been getting an uptick in hits recently (and I think for very good reasons).
I've had to gently remind family and friends alike of my policy regarding Christmas gifts this year. If they want to ask me for ideas, okay. But please - never plant the seed in his head that Christmas is the time of year he can make a list of demands that get fulfilled by a fat man if he's able to convince some creepy little Elf on a Shelf that he's been good enough to deserve his list of unicorns, iPads and plutonium.
That's not what Christmas is about, that's not who St. Nicholas is, and can we all just agree that an inanimate (and again, creepy) sprite shouldn't be the motivation behind good behavior?
I was talking to a friend the other day when she lamented the litany her daughter wrote in her annual letter to Santa. She showed me four pages that included everything from Tamogotchis (they're back?!) and Frozen dolls to clothes and electronics like an iPad and digital camera (you're five, kid, you don't need a DSLR).
I was aghast. Her daughter is a shade older than my son (by about four months). How does she already associate Christmas with "I get to have everything I want!"? The thought actually scared me a bit. Is Vince going to turn into this sort of greedy, entitled monster in a few short months?
Then I realized he likely wouldn't. My son won't be writing a list to Santa Claus, and even if he did, I doubt it'd include anything but sincere questions about Heaven, reindeer and his hairy face.
I'm a mean one... Momma Grinch!
You see, I've never connected Santa Claus with presents. I've never played the "Be nice or I'm telling Santa" game. I've never put that God-forsaken Elf on a Shelf in various places throughout the house in an effort to trick my kid into being a decent human being (can you tell I hate that thing with the fire of the deepest recesses of Hell?). I've also NEVER asked him what he wanted.
In my mind, doing so creates the expectation that he'll get what he asks for. I'm sorry, but Christmas is not about Momma and Poppa Genie granting your shallow wishes for plastic toys that'll be discarded by Valentine's Day, kiddo. Why, then, do we keep teaching kids that it is by asking them what they want, telling them to write endless lists of what they want, and pointing out cool toy commercials with the ever present "Wouldn't you like that?" mantra that seems to fall from parental mouths this time of year?
Instead, I've taught him to be grateful for everything, regardless of what it was. I've also done my best to minimize the commercialism of Christmas. That means the most he sees Santa is ten minutes for a picture at the mall. We don't talk about him beyond the Santa Story I tell him each year. Obviously I would if Vince asked, but if you ask Vince who Santa is, he'll tell you "Saint Nicholas" as if everybody in the world knew that. If you ask him where St. Nicholas lives, he'll tell you "in Heaven with Jesus."
As a result of my active choice to downplay the commercial side of Christmas, my son has never understood the holiday to be anything other than Jesus' birthday party. We get presents because Jesus shares His presents with all of us. Santa Claus exists, but not in the red-suit / jolly elf sense. Vince has never questioned where the presents come from. He knows that on Christmas Eve, they come from Daddy's side of the family and on Christmas Day, they come from Mommy's side.
At home, they come from Mommy and Daddy. There might be one or two in there from Santa, but that's because - in his mind - Jesus made sure to remind Saint Nicholas to bring a few by so Vince knew Jesus was thinking of him, too!
After seeing the letter and the overwhelmed frustration of my buddy who felt pressured to split the items on her daughter's list between herself, her parents, and her husband's parents so that everything was purchased without duplicate, I was thankful that my son hasn't yet picked up on those aspects of the season.
Granted, his special needs sorta help me out in that he's typically blind to the social cues of other kids who are clamoring for the hottest toy or stamping their feet in anticipation for the first giddy glimpses of Santa Claus, but I honestly think that he's got a pretty solid foundation on Who Christmas is really about.
And I assure you, it's not a list of presents.
So please, do not ask my kid what he wants for Christmas; it's not about getting what he wants. Christmas is about celebrating the Greatest Gift of All and sharing in that joy by gifting ourselves to others through time shared, memories made and thanksgiving offered.
If you want to give him a gift, that's great, but please do so without his input. Gifts are meant to come from your heart, not his.
Preparing for Christmas in the midst of divorce is no fun at all. I never expected that it would be, but then again, I never expected divorce, either. I thought I'd made that perfectly clear before marriage, but hey... apparently John decided that vows are only binding so long as you have the warm fuzzies.
I went back to work the first week of November. I have a 4 month old. I have a 6 year old who has been officially diagnosed with Autism. I am in the midst of divorce which basically makes me a social pariah amongst some friends. I have postpartum depression. Life is basically giving me a giant middle finger.
And that's okay. Life does that from time to time. However, it's easy to forget that while it's giving you the finger with it's left hand, it's ALSO giving you a big old "thumbs up" with the other if you're willing to look. Life's bipolar like that.
I have two beautiful, healthy children. I have a core group of friends who have been and will always been wonderful. Vince's diagnosis opens the door to therapies that weren't available to him before. Nate is finally starting to sleep better. My job, if hectic, is fulfilling and my coworkers are genuinely good people. God hasn't completely given up on me because, hey... still here. All thumbs up, right?
However, even acknowledging the good does not lessen the sting of the difficult. Thus, the thought of decorating for Christmas was about as appealing as dancing with rabid squirrels. I'm an adult, though, and I have two incredibly special little boys who deserve to have the beauty and magic of Christmas surrounding them. So I rolled up my sleeves, shoved my tiredness, my frustration, and my hurt aside and I put up the tree. I put up the Advent calendar. I put out my various Holy Family statues. I even put out the Nativity set that Vince has loved since his very first Christmas 7 years ago (and he immediately went to town playing with it, to my delight).
This is more than my first Christmas as a single mom. This is Nathan's first Christmas and it's Vince's first Christmas in what will become his new normal (Oh Heaven, forgive me for the vehement disgust I want to spew at those words). So decorate I did. I even let Vincent help decorate the tree - something he's never done before. He was so proud of himself. I was, too. Nate, for his part, happily watched us from his high chair, perfectly content to watch his favorite person, Vince, go crazy with the shiny decorations.
And tonight, I'm going to the craft store to pick up a few extra things to decorate the house with. I'm actually looking forward to surprising Vince with them so we can come up with fun places to put everything. God bless him - he deserves the happiness. And though Nate won't remember a lick of this, at least he'll fall into the new, joyful traditions we create for ourselves in spite of the situation they innocently find themselves in.
I'd like to paint you a picture, my friends. I'd like to paint a picture of my last few months which will explain the unintended hiatus I've seemingly taken.
For a moment, put yourself into my story. Become one with my thoughts and feel each heartbeat as they rise and fall, discontent and rebellious.
September 2014: Joy of joys! Lord, you have answered my most earnest prayer and softened John's heart to another child. How can my poor, miserable heart ever express the gratitude and awe I have for such a gift?
November 2014: Father, you have worked a miracle within my womb by working another in his heart. My thanksgiving and joy shall never end! You have vindicated my hope and proved my faith. This child is Your victory, and our families have rejoiced at this miracle!
March 2015: My God, my God, another little boy! A brother for Vincent! How my heart chirps in delight! News spreads like wildfire that another little prince is coming, and again it seems as if the whole world revels in Your gift of love. My heart and the hearts of those dearest to me echo endless psalms of joy.
March 2015 - 2 days later: Father... Father... no. My heart. I cannot reconcile the joy with the anguish. I'm exactly 20 weeks pregnant - halfway through this miraculous pregnancy - and satan slips in to snuff out my marriage. Divorce? Again? For shame.
April 2015: Lord, how do I find myself here? I am lost, wounded, bleeding. The doctors want me to take medicine for my blood pressure, but it could affect this miracle growing within me. However, if I don't take it, the doctors warned that I might not make it to term, affecting him just the same. What do I do, Father? What do I do? You would not have allowed me the gift of this child only to take him away, so I trust in Your Providence. I will not take it. As my heart is not strong enough to juggle this crushing betrayal, please take it and replace it with Yours. Use it to nourish this tiny child within me, because I've never felt more helpless in my life.
May 2015: Holy Spirit, I no longer trust him to be responsible. He's constantly saying one thing and doing another. We have to tell his parents because it's terribly unfair to allow them to continue thinking we'll be moving into their home. He promised he'd take care of it, but that was more than two months ago. You and I both know he is incapable of having this conversation on his own. He consistently fails to have ANY serious conversation with anyone. Thus, please facilitate it. Provide the means and I will acquiesce, no matter how much it tears at my heart.
May 2015 - Same Day: Geez, Holy Spirit, You work fast. I'm so incredibly anxious about this discussion that I can't stop shaking. It's all I can do to not vomit from the stress. Please send the Blessed Mother to embrace this poor child - calm me enough to remain stable for Nathan.
May 2015 - Same Night: Holy Spirit, comfort and protect his parents. I love them so much. So very, very much. It is unfair that he is putting them through this, and I feel guilty for being a party to it. I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel responsible for their heartache that now echoes my own. Comfort them.
May 2015: Oh Father, how do I not hate him? He admitted to lying about me - to his friends and to his family. He admitted to lying about his own feelings. He admitted to lying about wanting this innocent child within me. It's all I can do not to tear into him like a savage beast. Looking at him is enough to send my pressure spiking. My rose-colored glasses are gone. He is vile, repugnant. Any man capable of doing this to the woman carrying his child is no man at all.
I am angry with myself most of all. I married this man-child. I've always said the most important decision a woman can make is who she marries because that man will be an example to her children of what it means to be a man.
I have failed my sons. I have failed them in the worst, most heinous way possible. Forgive me.
June 2015: I'm nearing the end of pregnancy, Lord, and I'm constantly being told to rest. But how can I rest? My house has been made uninhabitable and my husband does not care that I am tripping over boxes and struggling to get things in order for the children. I am alone in this. Entirely alone. I cannot share this agony with anyone because I don't want anyone hating him as much as I am on the cusp of hating him. I don't want Vincent to hear negative things about his father - no matter how true they are. It is a fight not to hate every fiber of his being every waking moment. I want to rise above this disdain, but Lord, I cannot. He is revolting to me. His cowardice and selfishness physically repulse me. A viper is less vile.
June 2015: I ask him to clear the master bedroom so I can begin preparing to turn it into the nursery. He and I no longer need it, but our child certainly will. Instead of cleaning things out properly, he left this for me, Lord. This is what he left his heavily pregnant wife who was ordered on bed rest. The wife who was admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor twice on account of his atrocious behavior. The wife who STILL kept her mouth shut so he wasn't outed as the loathsome, selfish coward to his family and friends. The wife who was maligned for years - completely undeserved - by this repulsive excuse for a husband.
Again, Father, he is no man. Wild beasts do not act in such a manner. I know it is sinful, but God, I have no capacity for any emotion other than wrathful indignation. One day I hope to let this bitterness go, but I am incapable at this juncture. It is the only thing I have that keeps me going. I don't want to let it go, and I don't even feel the slightest remorse for that. One day I will beg Your forgiveness for my arrogance, but Father, today is not that day.
This room looks precisely how I feel. Ravaged, dirty, discarded. I close the door and will not open it again until the painters have erased this image, replacing it with the blank canvas that will become indicative of the future - Nathan's future. I allow my heart to break across the hall on Vincent's empty bed. I vow that this will be the last time I cry due to his father's utter stupidity.
July 2015: Nathan is to arrive soon and I am still mostly alone in my struggle, Lord. I feel alienated and forgotten. I'm angry and hurt and so worried about how this stress is affecting the boys. He still denies that his decision will have any noticeable effect on Vincent. This enrages me to the point of a blinding fury. Heaven forgive me, but I feel capable of murder when he willfully blinds himself to the inevitable pain he will wreak upon his own sons - all so he can spare himself the guilt of his own failings. Father, I can accept sins against me, but these children?! Father, I beg of you - justice! I know it is a terribly sinful thing to pray for vengeance, but I'd be lying to You if I said I didn't want him to feel the full weight of his actions.
July 2015: Nathan is coming, Lord. He's coming and I'm so ill-prepared. I feel I've failed him already and he's not even in my arms. He deserves to have an intact family, but instead, he's getting this sorry excuse for a family. He's getting a broken home where he should have been welcomed into a stable, loving environment. How I despise the selfish coward responsible for this! And yet I allow him - against every instinct within me - to be present for his birth. He is not worthy of such a gift, but I allow it anyway. Not for his benefit, but for my mother's. She is still unaware of John's treachery, and I don't want to burden her with such heartbreak... not when there is joy to be had in welcoming her newest grandchild. Please give me the strength to not revile him while in the midst of labor, hormones and utter vulnerability. Bind my lips, Lord. Bind my lips!
July 2015: My sweet, sweet Nathan has arrived. I am overcome with a plethora of emotions, all of them fleeting as if playing tag with one another. I feel denied my own happiness. This child - this gift - was supposed to be 100% joy. Instead, I am wracked with depression, anxiety and utter sadness that his little world has been tarnished by such savage narcissism. Father, I still trust that You've got a reason for all of this, but I no longer care. Not right now. Maybe someday, but certainly not now.
I know it is not You that wants this. I know that evil was incensed that You worked such a victory within John. That evil worked double time to undo that which You laid out. It's working hard at me, too. Thus far, it's winning, and I am content with that for now. I welcome it. Forgive me for the blackness of my soul, but Father, I welcome the abyss. I want it. I daresay I even need it. Forgive me.
August 2015: Ugh, God - my priest friend keeps asking if I'll ever accept John back. John's wonderful mother asked if there was hope. My heart yells out NO! NO, NO, NO!
He could come crawling back and a thousand times I'd want to curb him with a soccer cleat.
He has destroyed our family, laid waste to my heart, and set a horrible, HORRIBLE example for the boys on what it means to be a man. To take him back would teach them that it's perfectly okay for men to treat women as their father treated me. It would teach them that it is perfectly acceptable to commit unthinkable, unspeakable acts of cowardice and selfishness because, in the end, women will always take the abuse. What a horrible lesson.
So why are you whispering to me, Holy Spirit? What are You saying? That I, too, commit unspeakable, selfish acts against You? That You are willing to forgive me? Stop it, Holy Spirit. This isn't the same thing. You have to forgive. You have no choice but to forgive. You are God. You are Holy. You are Love fully personified... DEIFIED. I am but a miserable mortal who cannot chew back the bile when I look at this person I vowed my life to. He has disappointed me in ways unimaginable, and no - while I know I am called to forgive him, I cannot. I will not. And if that throws my soul into mortal sin, then so be it. I am sick of trying to do the right thing only to be scourged anyway.
I deserve so much better than he has given, and even knowing that, I upheld the vows I made because those vows MEAN something to me. But it's clear now that those vows didn't mean anything to him, so why should I bother extending to him anything but the contempt he so deserves? I'm halfway through the annulment paperwork and he still hasn't bothered getting paperwork together for the divorce yet. I'm not playing games anymore. I'm sick of being the mat he scrapes his mucked up boots on. He made the decision to divorce and I'm not holding his hand while he figures out what that means.
September 2015: I need to start looking for work, Lord. When John and I moved forward with having another child, it was with the understanding that I'd take a year off to be with the baby just as I'd done for Vince. Divorce is not cheap, and neither is health insurance. Thus, I am being forced to seek work while struggling with postpartum depression and no sleep. Awesome! And Lord, I swear to You that if I hear him complain again about how tired he is when he sleeps soundly through the night, I might actually take a tire-iron to his windshield. I won't be seeking absolution for that, either.
October 2015: Well, Lord, You found me a wonderful job to make lemonade out of the lemons John keeps kicking out. Kudos on that one. However, I'm still not feeling this whole forgiveness thing. I can't even offer you the unforgiveness like I once did for my sister. At least with her, I saw some semblance of good. With him? I can't see any redeeming qualities. His humor now seems juvenile. His fiscal responsibility comes off as him trying to buy his integrity and honor. His fun-loving antics with Vince only highlight the complete lack of care he seems to show Nathan. I see NOTHING good in him. He is a cesspool of filth.
And DANG IT, Holy Spirit, would you stop it already with the whole "I forgive you" shtick?! I don't want to hear it. Stop calling me to be a better person, because, damnit, I don't want to be. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness and he sure as hell doesn't deserve Yours.
But damnit, You just wanna keep reminding me that I'm wholly unworthy of Your forgiveness, too. I don't care. I don't CARE, God. Do you get that? I don't care.
And here is where I cry, Lord, because you know I do care. For all the bitter words I cast Your way, You know I care and You know how much I need Your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve it, which is probably why I shirk it, but I know how necessary it is. I'm just not there yet. I can't ask for it because I'm not sorry for how disgusted, angry and vengeful I feel towards him. I know I need to let go of that and be a beacon of Your love, but there is no room for that love right now because I've willingly allowed the darkness to move in and set up shop. I don't know how to shove it out. I think I want to; I know I need to. I just don't think I'm willing to give up the only steel I have left.
And when I think of how much I'm being forced to give up because of his selfishness, how much the kids lose out because he wants to chase unicorns and be a perpetual frat boy... the anger engulfs my logic and I refuse to work past it. His selfishness is forcing me to place my infant son into the arms of strangers so I can start work. His arrogance is forcing me to give up daily chats with Vince's teacher where we'd come up with strategies to ease his transition into school. His outright selfishness is forcing me to miss out on so many things for my two boys that it drives me almost insane. And none of this matters even remotely to him because none of this ever mattered to him. Again, my heart falls into itself with guilt for marrying such a selfish monster and breaks with the knowledge that there's no way to shield my children from the effects of this. No matter what, they are negatively impacted by splitting time between families, missing parents at events, and not seeing what a stable, loving relationship is supposed to look like between their mother and father. What a vile, perverse thing he has done to these children... to me. God help me, this is why I cannot forgive right now. There is too much abhorrence.
October 2015: Lord, You keep at me with this whole forgiveness thing. It makes me incredibly mad that You want me to forgive this POS when he doesn't even see anything he's done as remotely wrong. He. Doesn't. Deserve. Forgiveness.
And here You are telling me I don't, either. And You're right. I don't. But I miss You in the Eucharist. My yearning for You has not yet outweighed my disgust for him, however. Therein lies my Purgatory. Will my desire for You burn out before my disdain for him, or will my desire for You grow to engulf and obliterate the misery he created? My heart wants You, but my brain demands blood. Wait for me in the Tabernacle.
November 2015: I've noticed that he's attempted to be more active in Nathan's life. He's stepped up with Vincent. He still barbs me with thoughtless, careless comments, but at least he's not completely ignoring responsibility. Poor Vincent knows now and has taken to soiling himself, Father. I know that's a normal response to anxiety in a child, but Lord, I don't know how to help him. Please help him. Please, I beg of you, please. Help him understand that he is loved beyond measure. That no matter how confused and scared he feels, love is stronger, bigger and more capable of tackling his fear than he realizes. Help John and I to do better by him.
And I know, I know. Forgiveness is key to this. The way I can be the best mother to the boys is by letting go of the bitterness I carry towards their father. I'm so busy being angry with him that I allow myself to focus on that rather than appreciate the joy they bring. Every time I think of forgiving him, though, I get mad because he doesn't deserve to just go about his life free from repercussions. It drives me insane that friends and family pretend that nothing has happened. They keep treating him like he HASN'T lied to them, betrayed his vows, left his wife and dismantled his children's stability. How can that be? How can they continue to tolerate his presence? How can they not stand up and rebuke him?
Because it's so much easier to ignore. Because society teaches us not to stand up for what's right because what's right is no longer objective. What's right is whatever one feels on any given day, so why bother telling someone else that what he's doing is objectively wrong?
This sickens me. I've had three friends come to me seeking advice on divorcing their spouses, and all three times I've doled out tough love. Three times I spoke up to defend the marriage they sought to cast aside. I believe in marriage. I see the goodness it offers. People are so quick to throw away what they have because they're constantly looking for something better. I seek to recognize the good, and I encourage others to recognize the good. Where are those encouraging John? They are silent, each inwardly praying they don't someday face the same threat. The truth, though, is that each and every relationship - no matter how strong - will someday face this test. Someday, they will all be given the choice to work hard or give up. I will ALWAYS be the voice cheering them on and telling them they can do it. I will always seek to support marriages because (unless there is actual abuse occurring) marriage can and should be salvaged because it is precisely by reconciliation that both people grow and find a deeper, stronger love.
But no one wants to be that voice for my marriage, so I have shouldered this responsibility on my own. At least it really feels that way. And since my words mean nothing to this farce of a man, I end up lashing out in frustration. And then I get mad at myself for even bothering because I can't even stomach his presence, so why the heck would I want to defend a marriage I don't want any parts of?
Because this marriage isn't about him. It's not about me, either. It's about FAMILY and growing closer to You. I know You get your kicks out of growth via fire, but Lord, the fire can consume, too. Make it hot enough, and the iron will break rather than temper.
I'm breaking, Lord. I'm breaking and no one seems to care. But still I try. My heart won't allow me not to try. My heart won't allow me to pretend that this is right or just or okay. It's NOT right. It's NOT just. It's NOT okay, and I can't enable him to continue being a perpetual teenager by my silence. I just can't. Their silence enables him which is such a deep, deep betrayal to me. Their silence says "Gina is not someone worth defending against such treachery. Gina's children are not worth defending against such irresponsibility."
Tonight, December 1, 2015: Advent, Lord. I am supposed to prepare for You, but I don't know that I really want to. It's too soon. Plus, You keep hitting me with forgiveness themes. I want no parts of it. I want NO PARTS of it. I might be able to forgive him for what he's done to me. In the past, I've readily forgiven him for the countless ways he trampled over my heart. I'd forgiven him long before he asked. I'd even gone out of my way to respond to him with love and compassion when I was struggling to process a miscarriage he was happy for. But my children? My sweet, innocent children? How do you expect me to forgive him for the life he is creating for them? The example he is giving to them?! This mountain is too much. Gandalf is before me, and he seems pretty confident that I shall not pass.
Don't You dare leave me here with the Blessed Mother, God. Don't do it! I know where this is going, and I don't appreciate it.
I watched my Innocent Son be slaughtered on the Cross as ransom for your sins, my child. I know what it is to extend forgiveness and love even to those who hurt your children.
Walk with me. I know this suffering well as it is close to my Sorrowful Heart. If you will not offer your unforgiveness to the Father, offer it to me and I will untie this knot in your soul.
Great. How am I supposed to argue with Our Lady, God? I can't argue with her. NO ONE can argue with her. Even Jesus backed down when she pressed Him at Cana.
I'm sorry, Blessed Mother. You're right. Of course you're right. I'm actually really ashamed of myself for thinking that my grudge-mountain is anywhere near the scale of yours. You had every right to turn your back on humanity for not only slaughtering your Son, but continuing to gleefully roll around in our sin like pigs in mud. Yet still you embrace us as your own. Still you seek to call us to Heaven. Still you encourage us to be who God meant for us to be.
I surrender. Take my unforgiveness. And what's this? As I reach my hand up to offer you this black bag of shame, I feel your hand reaching back for mine. You weren't kidding, huh? You have every intention of walking with me as you untie the knot in my soul.
Oh, for shame. Forgive me all the more for turning my back on this Love. May your example become the example I give to my own children. To John.


text:
Around The Blogs: Night of the Purple Moon by Scott Cramer
One of the books I've spent most of the year plugging fairly hard is debut author Scott Cramer's Night of the Purple Moon, a stunning sci-fi novel which focuses on children rebuilding their community after the death of everyone who's past puberty.
Scott e-mailed me last week to let me know that the book would be FREE to download on Monday 10th and Tuesday 11th September - so if you've been considering it but haven't got round to buying it let, this is a great opportunity to pick it up!
To get it for free tomorrow or Tuesday, US readers go here and UK readers go here.
If you need more convincing, I decided to feature it in my second 'Around the Blogs' feature today - I did this for Edward Hogan's Daylight Saving a while ago and really enjoyed putting it together but never got round to doing another one - until now!
My own review was, I believe, one of the first of Night of the Purple Moon on any blog. I'll always associate it with my dentist's waiting room, as most of it was read on my Kindle while waiting for a filling and it put the thought of that right out of my mind (a sure sign of a great read; I'm terrified of people poking around in my mouth!)
I was seriously impressed by the book, commenting 'the characters – especially Abby and Emily – are very well-developed and this makes it gut-wrenching when bad things happen to them' although I warned 'I was stunned by how dark it got at points.'
It received more praise from Bookaholics Anonymous, who gave it an A+, and were particularly taken by the way "Abby grew from a typical teenager to someone who had to learn to take charge to keep her family and friends alive and well."
Full marks also from Ramona Reads, who gave it 5 Beautiful Butterflies, and saying "This incredible story will take you on a rollercoaster ride as you engage in the adventure and journey these children have to go through in order to survive."
It got 4 out of 5 stars over at The Readiacs, who said "Night of the Purple Moon is a combination of many elements – there is romance (the exchanges between Abby and Kevin are especially sweet) there is conflict (rival gangs without bloody violence) and there is heartbreak (tissues are needed for a particular scene involving our main character) and there is hope.
Captivated Reading gave it 4.5 stars and said "there were a few parts where I had goosebumps, just imagining this happening. Mr. Cramer made it THAT believable and real," also saying that the writing and the story were both "fantastic".
Forever Young Adult - whose section-based review format is one of my favourite on the internet - complimented Scott Cramer on painting "a vivid picture of both locations, so even people who haven't had the pleasure of living there will be able to visualize his world" - especially impressive given the writer of the review has lived in both those locations, Maine and Cambridge. I also loved the call of Chloe Moretz as a perfect Abby if the book ever made it to the screen - great casting!
Over at Whispering Coyote, the book got a solid 3 star review with the comment that it was "well paced and gripping" but a warning that it "contains some scenes that would perhaps be unsettling for younger readers".
Ink Scratchers were fulsome in their praise, awarding it a B+ and saying it was "a great middle grade dystopian, a genre which is sadly lacking for this age group." (I'm agreeing with Whispering Coyote on this one, by the way - Ink Scratchers obviously know braver younger readers than we do!)
My Home Away From Home gave it 4/5, saying "The excitement of his imagery really had me on the brink of my seat, the plot and the story itself was just genius."
INTERVIEWS/GUEST POSTS
Scott's also taken the time to give a few interviews. Check out this very blog to find out the answers to 10 questions, including who he'd have at a literary dinner party.
Head over to Oh Brain Where Art Thou to find more questions, including Scott's inspiration for the book. Alice in Readerland has another interview, in which you can find out, amongst other things, how Scott became interested in writing, while his guest posts over at Letters Inside Out on "Why Writing Is Like Surfing" shouldn't be missed!
If you've read it, or are inspired to pick it up, let me know what you think! And if you've got a blog post about it that I've missed out, please leave a link in the comments.
If you'd like to talk to Scott directly, he's really approachable and can be found over at Twitter, by the way.
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TLS Editor Accuses Book Bloggers of "Killing Liter...
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DOUBLE Sunday Spotlight: When I Was Joe and Almost...
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10 Tips For Interviewing Authors
Interview with Laura Jarratt over at Wrexham.com
Sunday Spotlight: Debutantes by Cora Harrison
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Volume 15 in The Complete Poetical Works of Robert Browning presents poetry Browning wrote in his seventies, his last two volumes: Parleyings (1887) and Asolando (1889). The former is the poet's last sustained meditation on life and on his times, a nine-section credo covering religion, history, poetry, politics, art, and music. Asolando is a coda to his whole oeuvre, a mixture of short love lyrics, historical monologues and anecdotes, light verse, and poems which are quite sui generis, all grouped around the theme of 'fancies and fact'. Both volumes are presented here with previously unknown sources, a wealth of new contextual material, and many textual nuances clarified, giving a fresh view of the last phase of Browning's career. What emerges is a poet more seriously Christian, Protestant, and Liberal than previously supposed, more interested in Britain's destiny and Empire, more enmeshed in the local battles of the 1880's and a writer of considerable range and wit.


text:
Soul Men
Chuck Wilson,
In Soul Men, actor-comedian Bernie Mac, who passed away in August, plays Floyd Henderson, a present-day car-wash mogul who, back in the 1970s, was an R&B backup singer alongside a fellow named Louis Hinds (Samuel L. Jackson). One day, their frontman, Marcus Hooks (John Legend), took off on his own, becoming a funk-soul god and leaving Floyd and Louis to part as bitter enemies. Twenty years later, Floyd bursts into Louis' L.A. apartment with a plan for the two men to drive to New York and perform at a tribute show for Marcus, whose sudden death didn't exactly wreck his former bandmates. Soon enough, the two are headed cross-country in an Eldorado convertible, bickering, getting stranded, and eventually staging their old act in dive bars. While their singing voices are ragged, the old-school hand gestures and side-shuffle footwork are mighty fine. The film dulls out in the home stretch as screenwriters Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone employ increasingly silly side turns to delay their arrival in NYC. It could be said, too, that the visual style of director Malcolm Lee (Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins) rarely matches the energy of his performers, but no matter: Mac and Jackson carry the show — particularly Mac, who's at his crackly, cranky best here. As swan songs go, Soul Men is pretty sweet.
Tags: Bernie Mac, Film Review, Floyd Henderson, Louis Hinds, Samuel L. Jackson


Going to the supermarket to buy fresh produce used to mean carrying everything back in plastic food bags. These bags might end up in a kitchen drawer, or at the back of a cupboard, but generally, they'd never be used again.
Not any more. Reusable produce bags will help you save the planet. They're brilliantly made from recycled plastic bottles and are breathable, allowing your apples, lemons, potatoes or other fresh produce sit nicely in the fridge without going off.
Then when they're finished with, they can be hand washed, dried and used all over again. Genius! Do your bit for the environment and ditch the single use plastic bags for good.


text:
Q: Issue with JSONMANAGED Reference I am trying to use json manged reference in one of my entity class.that has a manytoone relationship with another entity that has a composite primary key.
In class A I have
 /**
     * @return the classB
     */
    @ManyToOne(fetch = FetchType.LAZY)
    @JoinColumn(name = "SEC_ID", referencedColumnName = "PT_ID", updatable = false, insertable = false)
    @JsonBackReference
    public classB getClassB() {
        return classB;
    }

ClassB
/**
 * @return the pxxId
 */
@EmbeddedId
public PxxId getPxxId() {
    return pxxId;
}

Embedded Id
@Embeddable
public class PxxId implements Serializable {

    /**
     *
     */
    private static final long serialVersionUID = 7080557675086058087L;
    private Long taId;
    private Long maId;

    /**
     * @return the id
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    @Column(name = "PT_ID", nullable = false, length = 20)
    public Long getTaId() {
        return tabId;
    }

    /**
     * @param id
     *            the id to set
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    public void setTaId(Long id) {
        this.taId = id;
    }

    /**
     * @return the maId
     */
    @Column(name = "MA_ID", length = 20, nullable = false)
    public Long getMaId() {
        return maId;
    }

    /**
     * @param mId
     *            the maId to set
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    public void setMaId(Long maId) {
        this.maId = maId;
    }
}

I tried the above but getting error like
... 41 more
Caused by: org.hibernate.AnnotationException: referencedColumnNames(PT_ID) of com.citi.aml.npa.domain.ClassA.classB referencing com.citi.aml.npa.domain.ClassB not mapped to a single property
    at org.hibernate.cfg.BinderHelper.createSyntheticPropertyReference(BinderHelper.java:336)
    at org.hibernate.cfg.ToOneFkSecondPass.doSecondPass(ToOneFkSecondPass.java:116)
    at org.hibernate.cfg.Configuration.processEndOfQueue(Configuration.java:1557)
    at org.hibernate.cfg.Configuration.processFkSecondPassInOrder(Configuration.java:1478)
    at org.hibernate.cfg.Configuration.secondPassCompile(Configuration.java:1386)
    at org.hibernate.cfg.Configuration.buildSessionFactory(Configuration.java:1781)
    at org.hibernate.ejb.EntityManagerFactoryImpl.<init>(EntityManagerFactoryImpl.java:96)
    at org.hibernate.ejb.Ejb3Configuration.buildEntityManagerFactory(Ejb3Configuration.java:914)
    ... 48 more

Can someone kindly help me.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


Peak performers focus on what they are actually going to do to reach their desired goal. They move from the concept to the concrete actions. They list the specific actions they will take, move into action and get some quick successes.
Such people build momentum and keep following good habits. They move from the philosophical to the physical. They do what is required – in behavioural terms – to reach their desired destination.
Some people, however, are used to talking in theoretical terms. They may have lots of awareness, but may find it hard to move to application and achievement.
Sometimes it can be hard to discover whether a person knows how to translate the theory to action. This can be particularly difficult, for example, when you are hiring a person.
I will build an engaged and motivated team in which people deliver success.
Looking at your own life, can you recall a time when you focused on what you were actually going to do to reach a desired goal? You may have decided to get your body in shape, eat healthier food, encourage another person, climb a mountain, write a book or whatever.
Looking at the example you have given, what did you do to translate your plan into reality? What did you do to start behaving in a certain way and follow daily rituals? What did you physically do?
Describe a specific situation in the past when you defined what you would actually do to reach your desired goal and then did these things.
Describe the specific things that you did to define what you were actually going to do.
Describe the specific things you then did to actually do these things.
Peak performers often demonstrate elements of OCD – Obsessive Compulsive Discipline rather than Disorder. They translate their chosen strategy into action and follow good habits to reach their goals. They keep doing the right things in the right way every day.
Such people do this whether they are caring for sick animals, cooking in a prestigious restaurant, training to compete for the Olympic Gold or whatever. An athlete's action plan, for example, will read like a long list of small, specific actions. They then follow these actions religiously on the way towards achieving their goals.
Good organisations aim to live their values, rather than just laminate the values. Bearing this in mind, they spend a lot of time interviewing people when they apply to join the organisation.
Before the interview, the applicants are sent materials that describe the values. These are illustrated with real life stories that show how people in the organisation have translated the values into action.
Such success stories describe the specific things that people actually did to, for example, take responsibility, give great customer service and help other people to succeed.
The candidate is invited to do some homework and then share this at the interview. They are asked to do the following things.
To give a specific example of when they have lived some of these values in the past – this could have been in their personal or professional life.
To give specific examples of how they would try to translate some of these values into action during their first two months in the organisation.
The candidate is given the name of a person in the organisation who they can contact if they need more information before the interview.
The aim is to recruit people who will demonstrate certain ways of behaving, but it also to give the applicants every chance of success. This approach sounds challenging, but it often proves effective.
Let's return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of a situation when you may want to define what you will actually do to reach a specific goal?
This could be in your personal or professional life. You may want to take care of your health, take the next step in your career, make a challenging transition or whatever.
Looking at your example, what will be your strategy for achieving the goal? How can you translate this strategy into a clear action plan? What can you then do to follow this plan and achieve your picture of success?
Describe a specific situation in the future when you may want to define what you will actually do to reach your desired goal and then do these things.
Describe the specific things that you can do to define you are actually going to do.
Describe the specific things you can then do to actually do these things.


Ghana opened their 2017 FIFA Under-17 World Cup campaign with a nervy 1-0 win over Colombia on Friday.
Sadiq Ibrahim's low shot from close range separated the two teams at the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium in New Delhi.
Ibrahim puts Ghana ahead with a low shot from close range. A big mistake from captain Thomas Gutierrez.
He had the chance to clear the ball once but he unintentionally left it for the on-rushing Sadiq Ibrahim to power home into an empty net.
However, there were nervous moments for Ghana and goalkeeper Ibrahim Danladi who showed lots of reflexes to deny the Los Cafeteros.
Ghana coach Samuel Fabin will be aware his charges will need to improve after making several faulty passes in the game which was dominated by the South American giants.
Brilliant exchanges from an electrifying first half but it was the Colombians who showed a great deal of maturity in attack despite failing to find the back of the net.
Ghana dominated the flanks but lacked in midfield as they found it difficult to deal with Jaminton Campaz and Robert Mejia.
There were good chances and saves made at both ends of the pitch during the first half, but it was not until the 39th minute that the West Africans made the decisive breakthrough.
A fine counter-attack saw Black Starlets captain Eric Ayiah make an incisive run down the left flank before delivering a pinpoint low cross that Sadiq Ibrahim duly converted at the far post for 1-0 half-time lead. The Colombians went in search of an equaliser after the break, with their best chance falling to substitute Deiber Caicedo. Yet, after breaking into the Ghana box from the right flank, his low effort went wide of the far post.
Ghana will take on USA in their next group game on Monday at the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium in New Delhi.


VL Myrsky (English: Storm) was a Finnish World War II fighter, designed by the State Aircraft Factory (Valtion lentokonetehdas) for the Finnish Air Force. The models of the aircraft were Myrsky I, Myrsky II, and Myrsky III.
The decision to start developing a new fighter for the Finnish Air Force was based on experience gained before the Winter War: in the "arms race" leading up to a war, it can be difficult for smaller nations to purchase top-of-the-range fighters without a significant political cost. The Finnish Air Force ordered premilinary proposal for domestic fighter from State Aircraft Factory (Valtion Lentokonetehdas) before Winter War early 1939. State Aircraft Factory prepared five alternative proposals May 1939. After that, The Ministry of Defence ordered the design of fighter from State Aircraft Factory June 1939.
The premilinary design was made by the aircraft-designer trio Arvo Ylinen (head of the design-bureau), Martti Vainio (aerodynamics), and Torsti Verkkola (structural design). Edward Wegelius was appointed head of the design department of the State Aircraft Factory when Ylinen later moved on to the Helsinki University of Technology in August 1940. VL did not appoint any main constructor to its products, such as the German aircraft manufacturers did.
Due to difficulties obtaining duraluminium, the wings were made out of plywood and the fuselage was metal structure with fabric or plywood coating. The planned Bristol Taurus III engine was not available due to war, so a Pratt & Whitney R-1830 (civil Twin Wasp) was chosen, instead: an R-1830-S3C3-G for the first prototype, less-powerful SC3-Gs for later prototypes and production fighters from Germany (war booty).
The first Myrsky I prototype flew on 23 December 1941. The prototype was fully functional, but too heavy. After some modifications they soon had three new prototype aircraft. The test flights showed some problems with the structural strength during high speed tests. All three prototypes were destroyed during test flights; two test pilots died, one was seriously injured.
Series production started after German deliveries of Messerschmitt Bf 109 had begun in 1943. The series production version was called Myrsky II. 47 Myrsky IIs were built and together with the Myrsky I version the production amounted to 51 in all. Although the aircraft met the specifications set for it, it did not fulfill all expectations due to structural problems.
The Myrsky III was ordered in spring 1943, but none were built.
Reconnaissance Squadron 12 received first Myrskys during August 1944. Thirty Myrskys were delivered to Reconnaissance Squadrons 12 and 16 before the end of Continuation War.
Fifteen Myrsky fighters flew 68 missions during Continuation War. During one mission, they met Soviet Yak-7s, but the fight ended without losses for either side. During two other missions, Myrskys damaged two Soviet fighters. Six Myrskys took part in a bombing mission on September 3, 1944.
During the Lapland War, six Myrskys flew 13 reconnaissance missions between March 2 and March 23, 1944. The wooden construction proved problematic in this theatre, not enduring wet weather or cold well. The war time Lukko glue, manufactured from ersatz materials, which was used on glueing the wood parts, did not stand rain, frost and humidity, and the glue seams disintegrated, sometimes with disastrous results.
Ten Myrskys were lost in accidents between 1943-1947 and four pilots died. Myrsky usage ended in May 1947 and the last Myrsky flight was in February 1948.
Stemman, Karl. "Finland's Fighter Finale". Air Enthusiast. Issue 23, December 1983-March 1984. Bromley, Kent UK: Pilot Press, 1983. pp.10-19, 80.


text:
Headliners Announced for Hollywood Bowl Jazz Festival
by admin January 13, 2022, 4:49 am 770 Views
The Hollywood Bowl Jazz Competition, previously often known as the Playboy Jazz Competition, has introduced the preliminary lineup of headliners for its 2022 version, introduced by the Los Angeles Philharmonic on the storied Hollywood Bowl in Hollywood, Calif. Among the many acts scheduled to carry out on the two-day competition on June 25-26, 2022 are the Roots, Gregory Porter, Terri Lyne Carrington + Social Science, Cory Wong, Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah, José James, Gordon Goodwin's Huge Phat Band, Azar Lawrence, and Gerald Clayton. The total lineup will likely be introduced on February 15.
Initially based by passionate jazz fan Hugh Hefner in 1959 and held in Chicago, then the positioning of Playboy's headquarters, the competition went on hiatus for 20 years till 1979 when it was restarted to have fun the journal's twenty fifth anniversary in Los Angeles. That first version on the Hollywood Bowl featured traditional jazz artists Benny Goodman, Lionel Hampton, and Depend Basie alongside extra modern and business acts like Climate Report, Chick Corea, and Herbie Hancock, a method that may be repeated in subsequent years. In time, the Playboy Jazz Competition grew to become some of the prestigious jazz occasions on the earth, with a revolving stage, top-of-the-line headliners, and a star-studded crowd that invariably included Playboy Bunnies alongside high-profile TV and film stars. In addition to being the supply of quite a few stay albums, it featured some of the stunning print applications of any competition on the earth, many editions of which will be discovered on sale for prime greenback on eBay and different memorabilia websites. The competition ran yearly till 2020, when it was canceled due to the pandemic.
Two-day competition tickets can be found now with single-day tickets occurring sale Feb. 15. Study extra on the Hollywood Bowl web site.
Learn Chris J. Walker's evaluate of the 2019 Playboy Jazz Competition right here.
Learn Jeff Tamarkin's evaluate of the guide Playboy Swings, about Hugh Hefner's contribution to fashionable jazz tradition, right here.
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text:
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);

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


Fractured Static Meshes provide an efficient means for creating partially destructible environments. These specialized assets are created from existing Static Mesh assets through the use of the Fracture Tool in the Static Mesh Editor. This document will attempt to cover the Fracture Tool's basic usage, from asset creation to placement and use in a level.
The Fracture tool was added in the December QA build of Unreal Engine 3. To access this tool, open a Static Mesh in the Static Mesh Browser, and either find the new tool under Tool > Fracture Tool or press the new Fracture tool button (yellow wireframe object). This will open a dialog box containing the options for fracturing this mesh. Once the options are set to the desired values, the Slice button at the bottom of the dialog will perform the fracturing, and will prompt the user for a package/group to store the newly fractured mesh. When a slice pattern is generated, the tool scatters points throughout the collision geometry of the object, and then generates pieces based on those.
Individual chunk origins (and their corresponding chunk) can be selected in the slice pattern and moved using the widget that appears. The lines that appear when a chunk is selected shows that chunk's neighbors, to help visualize the structure of the fragmented mesh. The numbers indicate the area of connection with these neighbours. The pink line indicates the average surface normal of the exterior geometry of that chunk – this is used when the piece breaks away (see below).
With a Static Mesh open, and the Fracture dialog visible, the first slider in the tool is the Chunk Count value. This determines how many pieces the tool will cut the original mesh into. This is the most obvious place to balance visible impact vs. performance. A large number of chunks means more triangles in the final object, as well as a larger number of actors that the fractured mesh can be broken into. A smaller number means fewer new actors spawned and fewer triangles, but a lower overall fracture count, which can mean a reduced visible impact when the object breaks. Once the object has been sliced, the chunk count may drop slightly. This is due to chunks that are completely inside the object and do not contain any faces that are visible on the surface of the object getting culled.
The next set of values in the Fracture tool is the Plane Bias. This scales in XYZ the fracture planes, resulting in broader or narrower slices depending on the values you input. In the screenshot, you can see that with a larger scale in one or two axes, the mesh gets cut into something resembling slices rather than equal-sized chunks. This can be useful for fracturing different material types, such as getting long narrow splinters out of wood, rather than more regular shaped pieces out of a rock mesh.
The modify points tool can be used to either move selected (or all) chunk origins towards the bounds of the object, or perturb some or all of the chunk origins in the slice pattern. Moving the chunk origins towards the bounds is useful for avoiding cases where a significant number of chunks are being discarded because they do not slice the surface of the mesh. Perturbing the origins can be useful to avoid areas where cuts are too linear. You first use the entry boxes to indicate maximum XYZ movement allowed, and then hit either the Move to Faces or Randomize button to modify the chunk centers and see the new slice pattern. If you have some chunks selected, it will only modify the selected set.
The three checkboxes under Chunk Options control whether or not the chunk can be broken away from its parent mesh, whether the chunk can be determined to be connected to the main body of the mesh, and if the chunk will spawn a physical representation of the broken piece.
Destroyable - Determines whether the chunk will react to an impulse to be broken away from the original mesh. If this checkbox is off, the chunk will not react to damage or any other impulse that would normally cause it to break away.
Support Chunk - Creates 'anchors' in the mesh. If a chunk hasn't been broken away from the mesh, but cannot locate a chunk with this flag enabled through the network of chunks still connected to it, it will become physically active. An example of this is a pillar with support chunks flagged on the base. If the middle of the pillar is removed, even if the top of the pillar hasn't been interacted with, since it can no longer find a connection to the support chunks at the bottom of the original mesh, the top of the pillar will fall over. This can be used in conjunction with the bCompositeChunksExplodeOnImpact flag in the mesh properties. This flag (if enabled) will cause any cluster of chunks that have lost connection to an anchor to fall apart on their next collision with the world. In the previous example of the top of the pillar, as soon as the top of the pillar hit the ground, the chunks that made up that piece of the pillar would fly apart. This is useful to reduce the amount of larger physics objects being simulated in the world. Be sure that MinSupportConnection is smaller than all of your connection area results.
Spawn No Physics - Prevents a physical piece from spawning, disregarding the ChanceOfPhysicsChunk settings in the FracturedStaticMesh options.
The Chunk Selection buttons are used to grow, shrink or modify the current selection set of chunks. At least one chunk must be selected for these buttons to have any effect. With a chunk selected, you can use the widgets to move the center of that chunk around, which will recalculate the fractures for the mesh. The Select Top and Select Bottom buttons will add the top or bottom-most chunks (determined by the bounding box of the object) to the selection set. This is very useful for quickly setting up which chunks should be support chunks. The Invert Selection button will do as indicated, reverse the selection state of all chunks.
The viewing options allow you to restrict the view to one of three options. These options are View Only, which shows only the chunk that corresponds with the current position of the slider, View All But which shows every chunk except the one that corresponds with the slider, and View Up To, which shows only chunks from the current position of the slider and below. The Show Cuts checkbox can be used to stop rendering the wireframe slice pattern that the chunks were generated from. Show Cuts Solid will render the slice pattern as filled objects, making it easier to visualize the slice pattern. Selection of the chunks is easier in this mode, as selections can be made by clicking on the face of the chunk. Show Visible Cuts will only render chunk visualization for chunks that are currently visible.
There are several render modes for the chunks, which can be selected using the Slice Color Mode dropdown. Random is the default, and will randomly assign colors to the chunks. Support Chunks will color any support-flagged chunk as red, and any non-support chunk as blue. Destroyable Chunks inverts that, any chunk that is destroyable is red, any non-destroyable chunk is blue. No Physics Chunks will color red any chunk that is flagged to not spawn physics chunks. Show Core toggles the rendering of a core mesh (if one is assigned).
When a mesh is sliced, the interior faces of the mesh have a vertex alpha applied to them. If a vertex is shared with faces that are on the original surface of the mesh, the vertex alpha is set to 1, all other vertices are set to vertex alpha 0. This can be used to have variation in the material based on the depth of the fracture.
If a mesh has a lightmap coordinate set, and has a valid LightMapResolution, the engine will automatically generate lightmap UVs for that mesh, using the original UV channel's layout. The original lightmap UVs will be scaled slightly, and the new fractured triangles will be arranged in the empty space resulting from this. A useful technique for fractured meshes is to use that UV set as the coordinates for the materials applied to the newly created internal faces. Typically this is done by using a TextureCoordinate node in the material applied to the internal faces, with a CoordinateIndex that is greater than 0.
The core of a Fracture Mesh is a separate static mesh that can be merged into the Fractured Mesh and used as internal structure for the fracturing object. A core-mesh does not render until at least one chunk has been removed. To add a core-mesh to the fractured mesh, select a valid Static Mesh in the generic browser, then click on the Add Core button. This will add an instance of that mesh to the viewer, and the widgets will allow you to move and scale this object. Hitting the space bar in this mode will toggle between translate (move) and scale modes. In scale mode, holding SHIFT will scale the core-mesh uniformly, while clicking and dragging on an axis without SHIFT held down will scale along that axis.
It is recommended that the object be completely within the geometry of the Fracture Mesh, as it will become visible as soon as a chunk has been removed from the Fracture Mesh. Once the core-mesh is placed and scaled to the desired location, click on Accept Core to refactor the fractures with the core in mind. Once the core-mesh has been added, it can be removed by clicking on the Remove Core button. There can only be one core-mesh per Fractured Mesh.
Cores will reslice the Fractured Mesh based on their simplified collision. The simplified collision shape's planes will attempt to do simple reslicing of chunks, but cannot slice into non-convex shapes. This typically results in thinner chunks on flat surfaces, but does not reslice chunks that contain corners or other more complex geometry.
The Slice button is used to actual modify the mesh and calculate new polygonal faces based on the current slice pattern. When you click on this button, it will open a dialog box prompting the user to place the new Fractured Static Mesh in a package. This is the final step in creating the fractured geometry. This is also the point at which the new UVs for the mesh is generated. All of the newly created faces will be mapped with a new Material, which is blank by default. Chunks which contain no exterior geometry (ie chunks that entirely inside the mesh) are discarded to save polys.
Once the Fracture Mesh has been created and stored in a package, it can be placed in the world. Locate a Fracture Mesh in the generic browser, and select it. Right-click in the world, and choose Add Actor -> Add FracturedStaticMesh. This will place the Fracture Mesh in the world and it can now be interacted with.
Note that the bCausesFracture flag on the DamageType class must be set to TRUE for damage to affect the mesh.
bCompositeChunksExplodeOnImpact - This flag determines whether portions of the Fracture Mesh that have become disconnected from any chunks that are flagged as Support Chunks will maintain their integrity. If the flag is true, any portion of the Fracture Mesh that collapses when connection to a Support Chunk has been removed will crumble into its individual chunks on contact with the world.
bFixIsolatedChunks - If this flag is true, the Fracture Mesh will ignore all connections to Support Chunks and will instead treat every chunk as one. This results in all chunks of a mesh remaining in place until broken off regardless of their connection to other chunks in the Fracture Mesh.
bUniformFragmentHealth – This flag disables adjusting the health per-chunk based on the size of the chunk in relation to the original object. The default behavior causes small chunks to have less health than large ones.
ChanceOfPhysicsChunk – This scales the percentage chance that a physical representation of the damaged chunk will be spawned when a chunk takes damage. The default is 1.0 (100%).
ChunkAngVel - Represents the amount of angular (spin) velocity to be imparted to the chunk when it disconnects from the main Fracture Mesh.
ChunkLinHorizontalScale - This is used to bias horizontal movement over vertical movement when a piece is blown out. A higher value indicates more horizontal velocity.
ChunkLinVelocity - The amount of velocity away from the mesh that is imparted to the chunk when it disconnects. The direction the chunk moves is determined by the averaged surface normals of the original exterior geometry.
DynamicOutsideMaterial – If set, this will be set as material for the section given by OutsideMaterialIndex on spawned dynamic parts.
ExplosionChanceOfPhysicsChunk – This value scales the chance that a physical chunk will be spawned on fracture due to explosion damage.
ExplosionPhysicsChunkScaleMax – The maximum scale of the physics chunk that is spawned due to explosion damage.
ExplosionPhysicsChunkScaleMin – The minimum scale of the physics chunk that is spawned due to explosion damage. If both ExplosionPhysicsChunkScaleMax and ScaleMin are the same, there will be no variation.
ExplosionVelScale – Scales the velocity imparted to a physics chunk when spawned due to explosion damage.
FragmentDestroyEffect - Entering a Particle System in this field will cause that Particle System to be spawned at the center of any chunk that is broken away from the original Fracture Mesh. The effect is oriented so X points down the ejection direction, and is attached to the falling piece.
FragmentDestroyEffectScale - A uniform scale that is applied to the FragmentDestroyEffect when it is spawned.
FragmentHealthScale - This scales the default amount of damage that is required to break a chunk away from the Fractured Static Mesh. The health for each chunk is based on its size.
FragmentMaxHealth – Sets the maximum health a chunk can have.
MinConnectionSupportArea - The amount of surface areas that two chunks have to share to be considered as connected. This determines whether a chunk is connected to Support Chunks in the Fracture Mesh.
bSpawnPhysicsChunks - Defaults to TRUE. If FALSE, shooting off a piece will not result in a physics piece being spawned. FragmentDestroyEffect is still activated though.
NormalPhysicsChunkScaleMax - Maximum size of physics chunks spawned by normal damage.
NormalPhysicsChunkScaleMin – Minimum size of physics chunks spawned by normal damage.
The Fracture tool will work on any static mesh, however some complex geometry shapes will not give optimal results. Optimal results will be obtained if the object has no internal structure. An object with internal faces has a chance (very high chance if the object has interpenetrating faces or has internal open space such as a tube or hollow cube) of creating incorrect faces across the internal portions of the object that are split.
The fracture tool only works correctly on meshes that are closed. It also does not work on hollow meshes like pipes.
The fracture tool uses a 3D Voronoi calculation. Each 'chunk' represents the volume of space closest to each chunk origin.
Increasing the poly/vert count of meshes when you make them fractured.
Memory overhead of resulting increase in vertex lighting data.
Memory overhead of per-instance index buffer.
Time takes to re-compute the index buffer when changing visibility state.
Overhead of the spawned, dynamic physics pieces. These use dynamic lighting as well.
Note that to try and reduce rendered poly count as much as possible, internal faces of chunks are only drawn if one of its neighbors are hidden. With the Fracture Tool open, you can see both the total poly count and the currently rendered poly count in the top left corner. The simplified collision of the base mesh does not change as pieces are blown off. This is to allow it to be a 'client side' effect which does not affect gameplay too much. Per-poly collision (eg weapons) does correctly respect hidden pieces however. Each piece that is spawned uses a simple bounding box for physics collision.
There is a FractureManager class defined in the WorldInfo object (set using FractureManagerClassPath in the *Game.ini file). This class allows you to easily implement various functions of FracturedStaticMesh behavior in a game-specific way, such as spawning physics pieces and firing particle effects.


In our CSS tutorial you will learn how to use CSS to control the style and layout of multiple Web pages all at once. CSS was introduced together with HTML 4 in order to provide a better way to style HTML elements.
Before you continue you should have a basic knowledge about HTML, because with HTML tags we create our pages and with CSS we give style to our tags. It means we make our page more beautiful. HTML is used to structure content while the CSS is used for formatting structured content. With css we can change the color, background-color; font-size etc.
This CSS tutorial contains many CSS examples so you can easily learn the CSS in ditails. See everything connected to CSS in our next chapters. Hoping you will enjoty learning CSS with us.


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Q: How to prove that the grammar G is not LL(1) The grammar is:
L => LE | E
E => (C) | (F) | V | T
C => ifEE | ifEEE
F => +L | -L | *L | printL
V => a | b | c | d
T => 0 | 1 | 2 | 3

I think it is not LL(1) because of C => ifEE | ifEEE, but I am not sure if it is correct... Can anyone help me to prove that it is not LL(1)? Any help will be much appreciated.


UNESCO commissioned Past IGU Commission Chairman Emeritus Professor Tony Jones (UK) and Steering Committee member Professor Frank Winde (South Africa) to undertake an evaluation of the seventh phase of the IHP, which ran from 2008 to the end of 2013.
The IHP has become a major force in improving water resources management globally, especially by advising UNESCO Member States in developing countries, which lack technical resources and expertise. The IHP began life in 1975 at the end of the International Hydrological Decade. The IHD was set in motion in the mid-1960s as a response to the International Geophysical Year (IGY; 1957-8), the first major worldwide collaboration in the geosciences. The only water science in the IGY was glaciology, but the need for international scientific collaboration in the whole field of water resources was soon apparent. The IHP was set up as a series of 6-yearly programmes, aimed initially at furthering the scientific understanding of the water cycle and its global distribution. Over the years it has gradually taken on a more practical role, progressing from the pure science into water management, especially in vulnerable environments, and socio-economic aspects. IHP-V focussed on "Hydrology and Water Resources Development in a Vulnerable Environment". IHP-VI (2002-7) progressed into disasters and societal values with "Water Interactions: Systems at Risk and Societal Challenges", and IHP-VII, which draws to a close at the end of 2013, has focussed on "Water Dependencies: Systems under Stress and Societal Responses". The latest and somewhat longer phase of IHP (2013-2021) takes the aims into an even broader field, covering disasters and hydrological change, changes in groundwater resources, issues of water scarcity and quality, interrelationships between water and human settlements in the future, ecohydrology, engineering harmony for a sustainable world, and water education as a key to water security for all; IHP-VIII's title, "Water Security – Responses to Local, Regional and Global Challenges".
The evaluation had two primary aims: to assess the progress made during IHP VII and to make recommendations for improving efficiency and focus during the upcoming eighth phase. Jones and Winde undertook this task in a highly concentrated period between December 2013 and March 2014, which included a week at the IHP Secretariat in Paris conferring with the Director of the Division of Water Sciences and UNESCO's Internal Oversight Service and interviewing staff. The evaluation was unique in three respects: first, all previous assessments had been undertaken by a committee comprising up to half a dozen members; secondly, they were given a much longer period in which to deliberate, typically 6 months or so; and thirdly, it was undertaken earlier than recent evaluations, at the very end of IHP VII, which was intended to allow its recommendations to be incorporated into the early delivery of the next phase, whereas recent evaluations have not been completed until well into the next phase.
In addition to the over 200 documents (containing nearly 10,000 pages) presented by UNESCO's Internal Oversight Service, Jones and Winde made extensive use of Skype and telephone interviews, which included the Directors of the Category I Institute for Water Education (UNESCO-IHE) in Delft and the Category II UNESCO Centre for Water Law, Policy and Science in Dundee, as well as initiating their own internet search of the activities of rival "Global Water Initiatives", like FAO, and interviewed representatives of the OECD and International Commission on Large Dams (ICOLD) in Paris. Two email questionnaire shoots were also made – one to collaborators in the IHP programme recommended by UNESCO, including Field Officers and Regional Hydrologists, the other an independent survey which was not part of the UNESCO Terms of Reference in which over 400 water scientists known to the evaluators were contacted. More than 400 organisations and practitioners were contacted within the "UNESCO Water Family" and the wider UN network. The group contacted in the independent survey was largely, but not exclusively, made up of corresponding members of the IGU Commission for Water Sustainability comprising a total of 396 recipients. This was aimed at testing opinion amongst the wider community as to the efficacy of the IHP and its associated programmes. The questionnaire included a request for suggestions for improving the design and execution of the programme.
Professor Jones presented the report at the IHP Intergovernmental Council meeting at UNESCO headquarters in Paris in June 2014 before a group of the major countries or "Member States" involved in IHP. There was widespread support for our recommendations and concern over the deficiencies uncovered. The Japanese delegation was particularly concerned about deficiencies in communication within the IHP network. The Chinese delegation were concerned about the problems uncovered within the International Sediment Initiative (ISI) and keen to indicate that activities were resuming after more money had been made available by the Chinese government. The Netherlands supported our idea that transboundary collaboration in water resource management should be viewed more highly as an area where UNESCO should be uniquely placed – the "Potential Conflict to Collaboration Potential" (PCCP) programme initiated by former IHP Secretary Andras Szollosi-Nagy, but apparently given less attention in recent years is a prime example. In the limited time available for comment, Switzerland, Dominica and the UK also offered their support, the latter noting that a number of our recommendations had been made by previous Assessors, but not acted upon and that time was running out for corrective action. Only the representative sitting in the chair for Uruguay was critical, but IOS suggested they should read the full 137-page report.
We attach the Powerpoint presentation given at the Paris meeting and the full Report is available at http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0022/002280/228062E.pdf .
Note that online our Evaluation report (labeled Part I of the overall assessment) is preceded by a summary produced by the UNESCO Internal Oversight Service and a summary of responses from the IHP Secretariat after they received our final report in March 2014 (http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0022/002280/228059E.pdf). More importantly, our Evaluation is followed by a short report from Abel Mejia, formerly of the World Bank, who undertook Part II of the evaluation concerned with financial aspects. His report largely vindicates our own and suggests some valuable financial instruments for implementing our recommendations and addressing the funding shortage that is having a noticeable effect on the operation.
The IOS expressed its gratitude to both assessors by sending letters of appreciation to the Vice Chancellors of their respective universities stressing its satisfaction with the thorough and useful analysis provided under conditions of limited time and resources.
Meanwhile, a management response tracking system has been set up to monitor the implementation of our recommendations. Being a first in the history of IHP reviews this indicates that the report is being taken seriously and steps are underway to improve what is arguably the most important inter-governmental science programme on global water issues.


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Merck Down on Arthritis Study
A study says the drugmaker's Vioxx drug puts users at risk of heart attacks.
Robert Steyer
updated from 11:39 a.m. EDT
(MRK) - Get Free Report
shares fell Thursday after a study sponsored by the Food and Drug Administration concluded that its Vioxx arthritis drug put users at a greater risk of heart attacks than
Pfizer's
(PFE) - Get Free Report
Celebrex.
As a result, one of the nation's biggest health-maintenance organizations is reconsidering its use of the drug.
Merck shares lost 96 cents, or 2.1%, to $45.06 in midmorning trading. Pfizer shares rose 15 cents, or 0.5%, to $32.06.
Details of the study, which showed Vioxx users had a 50% greater chance of heart attacks and sudden cardiac death than those using Celebrex, were first reported Wednesday. Kaiser Permanente, which contributed resources to the study that was presented at a medical conference in France, confirmed its decision to review the drug.
Merck Thursday released a detailed critique, questioning the study's significance.
"This analysis is a retrospective database analysis -- not a clinical trial," Merck said. "Observational analyses have limitations, often conflict with each other and must be interpreted within the context of data from large, randomized, controlled clinical trials."
The company said that such randomized, controlled clinical trials are the "gold standard" in evaluating a drug's safety and efficacy. The company added that although the study was financed by the FDA under contract with Kaiser, "the conclusions presented by the authors do not necessarily reflect the views of the FDA."
The study clearly represents a negative impact for Merck, said John T. Boris, a drug industry analyst for Harris Nesbitt, in a report to clients Thursday. "We believe the results from this study provide an additional quiver in the arrow of several thousand Pfizer sales representatives as they continue to chip away at Merck's Vioxx franchise," he wrote.
But Boris kept his U.S. Vioxx revenue estimate at $1.4 billion for the year, Merck's full-year earnings per share estimate at $3.13 and his neutral rating on the stock. Boris said this isn't the first study to raise questions about Vioxx.
"We believe the impact of these negative analyses could facilitate a greater shift in Celebrex use over time," he added. (Boris doesn't own shares and his firm doesn't have an investment banking relationship with Merck.)
Vioxx and Celebrex, both called COX-2 inhibitors, are important drugs for both companies. For the six months ended June 30, Pfizer sold $1.5 billion worth of Celebrex and $545 million worth of Bextra, another COX-2 inhibitor.
For the first half of the year, Merck reported worldwide Vioxx sales of $1.3 billion, plus another $92 million in foreign sales for Arcoxia, a next-generation COX-2 inhibitor. Merck has predicted both drugs would produce $2.8 billion to $3 billion in sales during 2004.
The new Vioxx vs. Celebrex study "could put more pressure" on Vioxx, said Prudential Equity Group's Dr. Tim Anderson, in a Wednesday report to clients. Anderson, who learned about the study before it was presented, said the report should gain greater credibility because the lead author is an FDA staff member.
Like Boris, Anderson said he wasn't changing his Vioxx sales projections at this time. Anderson said his research shows physicians already have "a fairly widespread perception" that Vioxx might increase the risk of heart problems.
He said he didn't think the news would affect the U.S. regulatory progress of Arcoxia. He said Arcoxia is expected to be reviewed by the FDA in late October. But Arcoxia's sales "could suffer a bit," said Anderson, who expects the drug to be available in the U.S. in early 2005.
Anderson has an overweight rating on Merck and a neutral rating on Pfizer. (His firm doesn't have an investment banking relationship, but his research report notes that "the research analyst, a member of the
research team or a member of the research analyst's household has a financial interest" in Pfizer common shares.)


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Liverpool's Frontline
Mayoral News
Follow up test needed for those who receive positive 'lateral flow' Covid result
COVID testing – your questions answered
New Covid testing site opens in North Liverpool
Notre Dame Catholic College officially opened
on October 11, 2013 1 min read
Notre Dame Catholic College – the first school to benefit from Mayor Joe Anderson's £169 million education investment programme – has been officially opened by Cities Minister Greg Clark.
The £15 million building on Great Homer Street in Everton completes the first part of the Mayor's Investment Plan for Schools, devised as a rescue package following the scrapping of Wave Six of Liverpool's Building Schools for the Future (BSF) project.
The funding – a combination of city council and Government money – was negotiated as part of Liverpool's City Deal, and will see at least 12 schools receive investment.
Mrs. Frances Harrison, Head Teacher at Notre Dame Catholic College said: "There's a lot of excitement around the College about Friday. We're really looking forward to showcasing our state of the art facilities along with the talent we have through our performing arts pupils on the day.
"We've also made great progress in the last 12 months and Friday will be an opportunity for us to convey this to the visiting Minister Greg Clark too."
"Notre Dame Catholic College is already two years oversubscribed and this is testament to the performance of the team around me and of course, our pupils and their dedication to learning and developing key skills. For example, the College is now in the top four in the Liverpool City boundary following A-level results this Summer.
"Ultimately, Friday will be a great occasion to formally thank Mayor Anderson and the city council for the support it has provided in partnership with the Archdiocese and the school Trustees."
Mayor Joe Anderson enthused: "This is a great moment for the pupils and team at Notre Dame Catholic College and I am absolutely delighted to be leading the official launch with the Minister and my colleagues from Liverpool City Council."
Notre Dame Catholic College will educate up to 1,000 pupils and employs 120 staff and has been built in just over 12 months on a site adjacent to Everton Park Lifestyles Centre.
Food for thought: Free school meals is a life lesson about choice
Appeal to parents and carers to only request lockdown school place if it is crucial
Schools will only be open for vulnerable and key worker children during new lockdown
STATEMENT: Schools reopening in Liverpool
Liverpool City Council 2020