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Kol NIdre Audio
Yom Kippur Day Audio
Kol Nidre 2014 - Jewish Stories
Those of you who were here on Rosh Hashanah will recall that for this year's sermons I'm focusing on the big questions, as inspired by a prayer that frames the High Holidays liturgy, recited both early in the morning and again at the very end of Neila tomorrow night. Mah anu, Mah hayyenu, Mah hasdenu, mah tzidkenu – What are we, what our lives, our goodness our righteousness. What does it all amount to? How do we live lives of cosmic significance and personal satisfaction?
This evening,: Mah hayyenu? What are our lives?
This past year, congregants were invited to share the wisdom gained from their life experiences. We called this series, "This American Jewish Life." We heard from a congregant courageously overcoming the disease of alcohol addiction; another who had survived a horrible accident, another whose father was shot, another who had dealt with the difficulties of her non Jewish family having difficulty accepting her choice to marry a Jew and ultimately to convert, another who made aliyah. There were others too – and there will be more this coming year.
Each of these accounts moved us tremendously. They weren't just thought provoking. We don't come to services to have our thoughts provoked. We come here to be shaken and stirred.
And each of these stories is a building block – a brick. And brick by brick we are building something – a grand construct that is the sum of all our stories. And that grand project is called the future – and it is the future of Judaism and the Jewish people.
Judaism is not an abstraction, something on paper. It lives and breathes through us, through our lives. And I'll tell you a secret: that's how it's always been. Why is that a secret? Because it scares the heck out of every authority figure – every rabbi, every professor, every Talmud scholar, every know-it-all who pulls out a book and tells you "that's Judaism." It's so fitting for an age that has abandoned authoritarian structures for the democratic ways of social media. Judaism always was like that, even before Twitter was wreaking havoc on powerful people and entrenched old boys clubs, everywhere from the Middle East to Hong Kong to the NFL. It was always about people. It was always about the stories. That's what precipitates change, nowadays for the world, for centuries for the Jews. It's not the elites that determine the direction of culture. The elites are always trying to catch up.
Mah hayyenu. What are our lives? If you want to know Judaism, start there. Our lives are everything. Our stories are THE story.
Let me give you some historical perspective.
Back in 1492, Jews were kicked out of Spain after flourishing there for 500 years. it was one of the most traumatic events in all of Jewish history. A century later, many of those Jews had settled in Amsterdam. Some complicated identity questions developed for Jews in Amsterdam and elsewhere. Many Conversos lived among them, who wanted to return to Judaism and break from their Christian past. A book about Salonica, which had a similar influx of Spanish refugees, details how some people went back and forth, switching identities like we change shoes. Some people might have had a Christian family in Portugal and a Jewish family in Salonica.
You think we have confusion now. THIS was complicated. So how did the rabbinic authorities deal with this? They drew lines to keep undesirables out. They reinforced old boundaries.
Add to that one more complication. A few decades before the Spanish expulsion, this guy named Gutenberg printed a Bible – and suddenly information that had only been available to a few was out there for everyone. Another threat to the rabbinical establishment – and the church as well.
So as a result, as the world left the 16th century, there were more writs of excommunication drawn up in a 50-year period in Amsterdam than in the prior 500 years. Rabbis were deathly afraid of the swift changes going on around them and the fact that they were losing control.
So that takes us to a guy named Baruch Spinoza. On July 27, 1656, still in his 20s, he was excommunicated by the rabbis of Amsterdam. The writ of excommunication says nothing about what he said or believed. He had barely written anything at that point. But people were instructed not to have any dealings with him. No one could even eat dinner with him. The rabbis wanted him out, not for who he had married but for what he believed. The censure was not specific, referring only to the "abominable heresies that he practiced and taught." One of those heresies was the idea that the Torah had human authorship. He also questioned the immortality of the soul. He asked lots of questions that ticked people off. Baruch Spinoza was the first modern Jew.
And so, three and half centuries, later, who can name the rabbis who excommunicated Spinoza? Show of hands? Good. Neither can I. Two points: Spinoza's views would now be considered mainstream. Even modern Orthodoxy is coming around to the notion that the Torah has complex origins.
But the bigger point is precisely my main point. Judaism changed because of Spinoza. The world changed because of him. Dramatically. And this is a guy the establishment tried to silence.
A quote I repeat often, by Edwin Markham. "He drew a circle that shut me out- Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle and took him in!
How much more so now, when everything is percolating from the grass roots. It took 2000 years for there to be female rabbis and cantors. It was courageous individuals who moved the needle. It would never have moved by itself behind the ivory towers of the Seminary – I can promise you that. I was there at the time.
And were it not for the courage of the Women of the Wall, working from the grass roots, the needle of women's rights would not be shifting in Israel now either. And it is. Neither would the movement for gay rights in Judaism, which required upending the plain meaning of a Torah verse. We now understand that verse in the Torah very differently and we've come to recognize that while we are the people of the book, it is the book that serves the people, helping us to serve God.
Every great social movement has needed its Rosa Parks to emerge from the shadows. Does anyone know the name James Fred Blake? He was the bus driver that Rosa defied. The person driving the bus could never have instigated the change. Like the rabbis of Amsterdam, he is just an asterisk to history.
For generations, American Jewish leaders have been flailing away against the dangers of intermarriage. And the statistics are still daunting. But while rabbis rant and rant, no one is listening. Some of the rants might have validity, but it doesn't matter. The story is being written by lives, many lives, of people who are struggling to forge a Jewish path in blended families - or a blended path, that in a generation, if they are nurtured and accepted, might find its way to becoming a Jewish path again – albeit for a Judaism very different from the one I grew up with.
That Pew report from last fall told a fascinating story. Three quarters of non Orthodox Jews are intermarrying. But 89 percent of all Jews are very proud of being Jewish. No matter who they are marrying, Judaism is important to them. And in truth, as much as Jews are assimilating to become more American, American culture is also assimilating to becoming more Jewish. And now, all eyes are on the most important baby born in American Jewish history: Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky. What will it be? Baptism, mikva – or neither? For American Jews, this is the "will she or won't she" regarding a female Clinton that we're watching most closely. But whatever they choose, we will remain what historian Simon Rawidowicz, as the "ever-dying" people. Our leaders will continue to warn that we are dying, and we'll just go on living.
So Mah Hayyenu? What is American Jewry becoming? Is it disappearing?
I don't think so – and I can say that confidently because I've heard the stories. I've been amazed by the stories.
Norman Mailer wrote, "I don't think life is absurd. I think we are all here for a huge purpose. I think we shrink from the immensity of the purpose we are here for." Each of our lives has tremendous significance.
And the Judaism we are forging is going very different from what has come before – but somehow still imbued with the values I've been sharing for the past weeks in "Judaism's Top 40." The world is changing so rapidly, as we've gone from Gutenberg to Zuckerberg, but these time-tested Jewish values and concepts still have an enormous place.
In our modern Spinoza story, the role of the Amsterdam rabbinate is being played by the Israeli interior ministry. Boundaries are dissolving all over the world, and they've responded by getting more and more strict. This year it has led to the horrible treatment of Sudanese and Eritrean asylum seekers, which American Jews have tried to ignore, but it is a desecration of God's name, a hillul hashem. And for Jews, it has led to much stricter standards for conversion and aliyah. They are now intensifying the demand that those applying for aliyah submit proof of their Jewishness, ironically, by soliciting testimony from rabbis like me, that the rabbinic authorities over there don't even consider rabbis. This process is designed to somehow maintain the purity of the Jewish people, which I think is a questionable battle to be fighting right now.
But in any event, it's been great for me. Because I've been reconnecting with lots of people, I haven't heard from in years. Let me share three situations that occurred in rapid succession earlier this year.
So I got this email from a young man named Alan, who became bar mitzvah here in 2002. I remembered him well. His family left Beth El pretty soon after, and in truth, of the well-over a thousand students who have become bar mitzvah here since I arrived, he is not in the highest percentile of those whom I would have expected to hear from again.
After college he wandered around and ended up in Paris. He went on Birthright in 2010 and that changed his life. "It was crazy experience seeing so much of Israel in such a short period of time," he wrote. I knew I had to go back."
Last November, he decided that he wanted not only to return to Israel, but to immigrate. He asked for my help and then concluded the email, "I would like to let you know how grateful I am for being so warmly welcomed and accepted into Beth El's community and for everything the synagogue has taught me. I hope to hear from you soon."
I wrote him the letter. What a journey – what a story.
A very short time later, I heard from another young man named Tom, who also has roots here in Stamford. But he did not grow up a Jew, though he had a Jewish grandmother, who had passed away when he was two. Both his parents are practicing Catholics and he was raised by grandparents who were very religious – so he attended Catholic schools and went to church each Sunday.
He had been encouraged to visit Israel by two friends who has just returned from Birthright. When he went there for an internship he fell in love with the country and immediately felt a sense of belonging. He wrote, "The sense of community, acceptance, and generosity is something I have never in my life experienced. I am unwilling to give up on the idea of living here." So he contacted his two friends, who happened to be from TBE and they gave him my name. He concluded the email, "If you can help me in any way I would appreciate it. I feel it is unfair that I should be denied my destiny because I was brought up in a different religion than everyone else. It was not my choice. My choice was to explore the unspoken side of my background and that choice has opened my eyes and showed me where I TRULY belong. I appreciate your time and look forward to hearing from you."
Such is Israeli bureaucracy, Tom, a Catholic, needed a letter from his rabbi in order simply to work there, and, as he put it, ""Clearly I do not have a rabbi."
I confirmed his identity with the two Beth El students, and then wrote back:
"You said, 'Clearly I do not have a rabbi.' Well, you do now. I'm happy to assist you on your journey, wherever it happens to take you."
I was able to provide him with the letter that he needed. That was in the early spring. This week I contacted him and asked for an update and permission to use his story. His reply shocked me - pleasantly:
"Shalom! I was actually going to reach out to you within the next week because I am excited to inform you that I have been accepted into the November 2014 Guided Aliyah group! If all goes as planned, by November, I will have successfully made Aliyah. Please, feel free to use my story for anything you'd like. To me, this is the beauty of being within this community. The willingness to help others is one of the biggest draws for me. You have helped me tremendously and I'm happy I can, for lack of a better word, "repay" you." I will keep you updated!
Then, at almost the same exact time that I heard from Alan and Tom, I was contacted by a college student, whom I know well, who grew up in a Reform synagogue. She has a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother and, following Birthright, an Israeli boyfriend. It was only on Birthright that she discovered that she is not Jewish by the traditional definition. It was such a blow to her. I told her that I always have thought of her as a Jew, but it would be important to take care of the technicality and take a dip in the ritual bath, so that she would be Jewish in the eyes of a much larger percentage of the Jewish world. That's what happened. She did that and was overjoyed. Another story. Another life.
We are the sum of our stories. Tomorrow night during Ne'ilah, we'll follow our custom of inviting congregants to come up to the ark for moments of personal, intimate prayer. At no other point during the High Holidays is there a greater sense of awareness of the many deep stories in the room. It is overwhelming to watch from up here, because I know many of these stories.
Meanwhile, at the beginning of Yom Kippur, as you just saw, we invite all those who have suffered losses this year to come up and hold the Torahs for Kol Nidre. So, at the end of the holiday we connect to our present pain and future hope – as we bless the new babies too – and at the beginning, we connect to the stories of those who came before us.
Mah hayyenu? The Jewish story includes chapters that are still being written, as well as those that have been completed, which are equally important.
For this year's Book of Remembrance, I invited you to send in brief blurbs about your loved ones, quick reminiscences that would help us recall what that person meant to you and others – and place that person's story as one more brick, part of the foundation of our Jewish future.
"Eulogies aren't résumés," David Brooks wrote in June. "They describe the person's care, wisdom, truthfulness and courage. They describe the million little moral judgments that emanate from that inner region."
Tomorrow when you come in – those reminiscences will be available in the lobby. I hope that throughout the day people will reflect and discuss what these people meant to us, and how these stories continue to inspire us.
And there is so much to be inspired by. Just this year, we've lost the likes of Arthur White, whose indefatigable optimism moved mountains. And Meryl Aronin, whose clear shofar call still reverberates in this sanctuary. And so many more, as reflected in the people who held the Torahs for tonight. Their lives have become sacred scrolls for us, as they are now written into our Book of Remembrance.
I've done hundreds of funerals here, and with each one I take up the challenge of documenting the lasting impact of a life. This summer I looked back at some of the eulogies I've written – I keep them all – and tried to imagine how each of these life stories has lent a sense of exaltation to the human condition and the Jewish narrative. While there are far too many to recall here, let's roll through the rolodex of memory – and present a tiny excerpt from Beth El's Book of Life.
There was Janie Kane and her courage through illness, and Judy Isser and her compassion for all creatures, and Pamela Cohn Allen who opened our eyes to wonder, and Norma Mann, who broke every Jewish glass ceiling in town, and the warm smiles of Marsha Gladstein and Ed Golove and the sense of humor of Jeff Shendell and Hesh Romanowitz; and Marjorie Laff, who taught me how to explain death to children, and Myna Schwartz – unsinkable, heroic, who adorned every Seder table with sparkling beauty, and Karen Jossem, who when she was told she might have one year to live, refused to travel or otherwise address the bucket list, instead telling her son, "Why would I want to go anywhere else when I can spend that time right here with you?"
And Bruce Feinberg, who pushed and pushed and pushed some more, willing his body up to this pulpit for one final aliyah. And Lori Frank, who, when she belonged to an Orthodox havurah before coming here, was asked how she could reconcile Orthodox Judaism with her feminism, and she said, "Ask God. She'll understand."
And Shirley Fish – our assistant principal, who embodied the unlikely and precious balance between a strong will and profound humility – and Larry Bloch, her partner in education, a perfect combination.
Adam Weissman – wheelchair bound, who taught us that the sky's the limit, a lesson that we also learned from David Jaffe, and Pamela Weisz. And Bruce Martin, who passed away a few months ago. So many heroes who refused to be defined by disability or or to be weighed down by mortality itself.
These are our Torahs. They are our living scrolls.
How about Moe Tunick and Frank Rosner, who could sit around the men's club breakfast table and spin tales about the way things were here so long ago, along with Dave Gruber and Ed Kaplin and Sol Siskind and Bernie Nemoitin and Josh Lang and so many more who would chomp down bagels here on a Sunday morning.
And Mildred Miller an elegant and sweet lady, who never missed a yahrzeit,. And Lillian Lapine – with her deep, deep faith and love that sustained her family through a prolonged illness, all-the-while clutching an old, sacred tattered prayerbook. And David Dember, for whom every day was a Dayenu, and Howard Arons, who defied the convention of males of his generation by demonstratively showing love. Edith Sherman built a city, and Mel Allen defined a dynasty.
Heroes all – I rummage through the eulogies…. Lois Fink, Martin Benjamin. Gloria Baum. Al Golin, who blew the shofar here for so long. And Jack Malin, whose deep love for tradition is reflected in each of the restored Torahs in this ark. And Renee Beningson, whose grit and courage were unmatched.
I could go on and on. I apologize for the hundreds of names I left out. There are too many.
And when you think of these people and see some of some profiles tomorrow morning in our Book of Remembrance, how could anyone possibly believe that American Jewry is dying? Each of them contributed a brick – one brick to a foundation that is so strong and vibrant, and changing.
Mah hayyenu? We are the sum of our stories. And each of our stories is like an interactive novel, spinning off numerous sequels. And each of us touches the lives of others in ways we can barely imagine and often never know.
TBE congregant Carolyn Beck was telling me about something that happened to her recently when she announced her retirement from teaching after a long and fulfilling career with the Stamford schools. She got a letter from a younger teacher at her school who told her about how, when she was a student many years before, Carolyn had been her teacher at a precarious time in her life. Her parents had recently gotten divorced when she first came to Stillmeadow, in the middle of her fourth grade year, 35 years ago. So she was extremely nervous.
She picks up the narrative:
"When I walked into the room I was immediately greeted by your bright smile, enthusiastic voice and warm demeanor. You made me feel so welcome, as if I had always been a part of your class. You reminded me so much of my mother, with your short dark hair and motherly love. You meant the world to me. I am positive that you have meant the world to many kids that you have taught, but I wanted you to know what you meant to me at a very difficult time. All of us were blessed to have you in our lives."
Wow. What a gift. Such a beautiful letter. Memo to myself: Don't wait until someone is retiring to tell them how much they've meant to me.
As a postscript, Carolyn shared this story with me a few weeks ago, just as she was about to take the plunge, as it were, and become a Jew by choice – after so many years of involvement with our congregation. It was just the right time. A new chapter in her story is being written as we speak.
We never rarely know what impact we have on the lives of others. Rabbi Lawrence Kushner wrote a book called "Invisible Lines of Connection," where he claims that our lives are all interconnected. Sometimes happenstance encounters can change the world.
"Each lifetime is [like] the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. For some there are more pieces. For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble. Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle. And so it goes.
Souls going this way and that. Trying to assemble the myriad parts.
But know this. No one has within themselves all the pieces to their puzzle.
Like before the days when they used to seal jigsaw puzzles in cellophane.
Ensuring that all the pieces were there.
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don't.
And when you present your piece,
(Which is worthless to you) to another,
Whether you know it or not,
Whether they know it or not,
You are a messenger from the Most High."
Kushner writes about an evening when he and his wife were shopping for clothing for their children. He caught a glimpse of a tall, carefully made up woman out of the corner of his eye, who seemed to be distraught. Pretending not to notice her as she moved into the aisle where he stood, he saw that she was very pregnant and accompanied by a man. They were discreetly moving toward him and she was trying to catch his eye. But even if she did, he continues, "I would have feigned ignorance. Yes I know, I'm a rabbi, a public person, but gimme a break, I was shopping for clothes.
It didn't work. She was closing in and moving through the bright florescent lights like a guided missile. "Aren't you Rabbi Kushner?" "Yes, I am; have we met?" "Not exactly; we attended a service that you did. My husband and I thought you were very nice."
She moved in for the kill. "Oh Rabbi, we were at the doctor's this afternoon. The third opinion. He says I have an inoperable tumor. I'm going to die.
He says the baby will be fine."
Kushner continues: "They introduced themselves to me, gave me the details. They'd been thinking about joining my congregation. Their world had collapsed. Why has this happening? Would I do the funeral? They joined. She bore a daughter, she died. I did the funeral."
"Not long ago," he continues. "I was sitting with the other members of my synagogue's high school faculty… My glance settled on a short vivacious, red haired girl of seventeen. She had just finished telling a joke or playing some kind of a prank. Everyone laughed with her. She is popular. I love that girl. I am honored that she looks up to me. That girl's father never did remarry. Last week the father told me that his daughter was thinking of becoming a rabbi."
"Look," Kushner concludes, "I don't think that God made a tumor grow in that girl's mother's brain. Or that God has anything to do with the choice of careers or where I used to shop for bargain basement clothing. But I can't get it out of my head that somehow God is mixed up in the whole horrible, holy and joyous thing."
Mah hayyenu?
These life-stories remind us that our stories define us and refine the Jewish experience. From Rosh Hashanah we learned what is a Jew. Tonight we've learned the true definition of "Who is a Jew."
Who is a Jew? The Jew I am. And the Jew I strive to be. We forge our own Judaism. Our lives – our stories – define who we are and point us toward who we are becoming, how Judaism itself is evolving, and the impact we will ultimately have on one another and on the world. Our lives are not merely important. Every act, every choice we make, reverberates through the high heavens and ripples through the lives of both neighbors and total strangers.
Rabbi David Ingber notes that letters of the Hebrew word Kaporet – from Kippur, which means atonement, are interchangeable with the letters in the word Parochet, the curtain that separated the high priest from the Holy of Holies.
Thus, Yom Kippur is really a day when we pull back that thin fabric, that membrane that divides us from our own holy of holies, and we enter into that sacred space. There we see how much our destinies are intertwined. "We can open up our hearts to breathe in what the other is breathing out, to take in their deepest need, their ultimate concern and the yearning in their hearts."
Mah hayyenu? Over the next 24 hours that's exactly the question that each of us must answer. And by sunset tomorrow, a new chapter will have been written – for each of us – in the Book of Life.
Yom Kippur Day – Happy / Mah Hasdenu?
This year on the High Holidays we've been focusing on key questions. Last week - "What does it mean to be a Jew" and "Where are we?" Last night I spoke about how Judaism lives and breathes through our life stories. I paid special tribute to some of the people who have made their mark on this community over the years.
But there is one remarkable person that I left out. I saved him for today, because he is,…the Most Interesting Jew in the World.
- On Passover, Elijah opens the door - for him!
- He once caught a real gefilte fish.
- On Purim, he comes dressed – as himself!
- He can do Hagba AND Glilah – at the same time!
- At Tashlich, the fish throw his bread back.
He is… the most interesting Jew in the world.
Stay thirsty, my friends.
Seriously. Stay thirsty.
To no one's surprise, the guy who plays the most interesting man in the world in the commercials, an actor named Jonathan Goldsmith, IS Jewish. And why wouldn't he be? We may or may not be the Chosen people, but we are, without a doubt, the most interesting.
But does being interesting make us happy? And if not, what does?
So now, the camera is turned on us. Today, a sermonic selfie. Enough with the whats and wheres. Today, we look squarely in the mirror and see what stares back. Who are we? What can give us fulfillement?
Last week I spoke of a prayer that frames the liturgy, which we recited at the very beginning of the service and will recite at the very end of Yom Kippur tonight. And that prayer asks the question. Mah Hasdenu?
Hesed is kindness, goodness. Unconditional love. Tenderness. Consideration. Empathy. Profound connection. Steadfast love. There is really no precise equivalent in English. In fact a word was created to approximate it: "loving-kindness." But Hesed is not kindness as in when you let someone go in front of you in a long line at Stop and Shop. Hesed is much deeper than that.
It's mentioned over and over in the Bible, a total of 250 times, involving heroes like Ruth and David. Abraham was a hesed machine. Jeremiah defines Hesed as an Ahavat Olam – Pure, unbounded love.
The prophet Micah defines Hesed further, in a verse that concludes this afternoon's haftarah as an add-on to the story of Jonah:
"(Mi el Kamocha) Who is a God like unto You, that pardons iniquity, and passes by the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He retains not anger forever, because Hesed makes God happy. (Ke Hafetz hesed hu.").
Hesed, then, is the key to God's happiness - and our own. Hesed allows God to "let it go," to overcome anger and indignation. So the question "Mah Hasdenu?" really is a way of asking, "How can we find happiness?"
What I'd like to do today is unpack that idea some more. Because in our world there is such profound sadness. I don't know, it seems to be even more prevalent than at any time since 9/11. Signs of unhappiness are everywhere.
Jacob Burak, a financial and cultural guru, wrote last month in Aeon magazine that Humans seem to be hard-wired for bad news, angry faces and sad memories. He says that we have a "negativity bias.":
"…While a good day has no lasting effect on the following day, a bad day carries over. We process negative data faster and more thoroughly than positive data, and they affect us longer. Socially, we invest more in avoiding a bad reputation than in building a good one. Emotionally, we go to greater lengths to avoid a bad mood than to experience a good one."
Needless to say, Jacob Burak is Jewish. If human beings have a bias for negativity, Jews are "exhibit a". We veer toward the negative. We look up at the ceiling and our eyes are drawn toward the missing tile right away. Of the 613 mitzvot, only 248 are positive. 365 are thou-shalt-nots, enough for us to break one negative commandment each day of the year. Even some of the positive commandments have been given a negative spin. Like the greatest of them all, "Love your neighbor as yourself," which was reframed by the sage Hillel as, "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor." He takes the ultimate positive and flips it over to its negative side. Hillel, it seems, like the rest of the Jewish people, needs a shrink.
As Henny Youngman put it, Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with our suffering.
As Leonard Fein, a great Jewish pundit who died recently, used to say, a Jewish telegram is one that reads, "Start worrying. Letter follows." Fein goes on, "We worry about everything. We worry about Israel, we worry about anti-Semitism, we worry about demographics, we worry about war, we worry about peace. When someone says "All's right with the world," we know that something must be wrong; he has overlooked the cloud, the flaw, the imminent crisis. He has been lulled; the storm is brewing just out of sight, we can feel it in our ancient bones."
So here's where we are. Everything around is conspiring to drag us down. The tragic death of Robin Williams brought home to us the prevalence of depression and mental illness in our society. Last year a study in England warned that teenagers are becoming increasingly unhappy, with growing concerns about school, their appearance and the amount of freedom they have. At about the same time the New Yorker reported that going online makes us unhappy – primarily because we become jealous of all the people on social media who seem to be doing so much better than us.
If it's not our emotional wiring, it's our culture, it's our perfect neighbors, it's our health or it's the body's inexorable decline; it's our mortality. The rise of mental illness is being called an epidemic, where the CDC, last year, reported that the suicide rate among Americans ages 35–64 years increased 28.4 percent between 1999 and 2010, where our society breeds anxiety, depression and dysfunction, where people who seem to have every reason to be happy, suffer horribly, and the symptoms aren't recognized or properly treated, and they do horrible things to themselves and others.
No doubt many of us here have had to stave off bouts of depression. Let me amend that. All of us. All of us. For some the issues are clinical, for others circumstantial – and for some, both.
"Life," said Woody Allen, "is full of misery, loneliness and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
Oy.
Can't we ever be happy?
Yes we can. And that brings us back to Ma Hasdenu? For while Jews may not score well on the happiness scale, Judaism provides us with the keys to happiness. True, we are glass half empty people, but ours is a glass half full tradition. So let's learn from it. Here are ten quick lessons Judaism teaches us:
Lesson one: Recognize that Happiness is a worthy and attainable goal.
It's OK not to feel burdened and guilty all the time. Sometimes we feel guilty when we feel good. Alan Cohen defined guilt as "punishing yourself before God doesn't".
Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlav said, "Mitzvah g'dolah lihyot b'simcha tamid." "It is a great mitzvah to be happy always." "He understood, way before Freud, that sadness could lead to sickness – even though Nachman himself struggled deeply with depression. Aristotle called happiness "the chief good," the end towards which all other things aim. And in full agreement, Moses Chayim Luzzato, who in the 18th century wrote "The Path of the Just," begins the first chapter saying, "Man is created to take pleasure." For him, there was no greater pleasure than seeking closeness with God.
Which brings us to Lesson Two: Come to Services.
I believe that religion has an enormous role to play in combatting the incessant negativity, cynicism, alienation and depression that surrounds us. Surveys show a distinct correlation between happiness and frequency of church attendance in America. But oftentimes, religion is accused of fostering a false sense of happiness by denying harsh realities. I can't speak for other faiths, but that's not true for Judaism. Judaism is not a religion that teaches us to comfort someone on his deathbed by saying that he is going to a "better place." Judaism does not promote the kind of saccharine happiness that denies life's struggles; but rather a deep, rich affirmation of life, with no denial, recognizing our mortality. And it's a life that connects – a life of Hesed.
Lesson three: Remove the Masks.
Happiness happens when we get real. Rav Kook, in his classic work on Teshuvah, stated, "The primary role of penitence is for the person to return to himself, to the root of his soul." That's where Carlebach got the lyrics to the song – return to the root of your soul.
This implies a deep acceptance of who we are.
My colleague Rabbi Irwin Kula has tried something different at his congregation in Chicago. During Neilah, in fact while reciting our prayer, Mah anahnu, mah hayenu? (What are we? What are our lives?), he leads a ten minute, "Who am I" exercise, conducted in pairs.
Each person is allotted five minutes to answer; then the roles reverse. A sample dialogue:
"Who are you?" "I'm Joshua Hammerman."
"Who are you?" "I'm a father."
"Who are you?" "I'm a son."
"Who are you?" "I'm a husband."
Kula says, "By the thirtieth question, the answers reach the level of vulnerability."
"Who are you?" "I'm lonely."
"Who are you?" "I'm scared."
In a room this big, that's harder to do. But it's an exercise worth trying in a more intimate setting.
Lesson Four: Let it Go.
With apologies to Idina Menzel.
That song from the film "Frozen" has been without doubt the most repeated and reinterpreted song of the year, except for one. Every little kid I know is singing this song. And some grown ups too. Because, in large part, we recognize that we all need to "let it go" in order to be happy. As we saw from the prophet Micah, even God needs to let it go.
The Talmud tells of a drought, when Rabbi Eliezer prayed for rain, but nothing happened. Rabbi Akiva offered a short prayer and the rains fell. A Voice from Heaven called out, "Not that Akiva is any better than Eliezer, but Eliezer carries a grudge against those who slight him, while Akiva forgets it and moves on."
The Talmud is clearly telling us – if you don't let go of your anger or your pain, it will only compound your troubles and make you less able to live a productive life. So let it go.
Lesson Five: Cultivate He-sed-ic Communities
Not Hasidic – but Hesed-ic. Communities filled with Hesed. Rabbi Israel Salanter, the 19th century founder of the Mussar movement, saw a scholar with a forlorn look on his face during the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The scholar said he was worried because these are the days when God is judging us. To which Salanter replied, "But other people won't realize that that's what's bothering you. They might think that you are upset with them."
In order to be truly happy, we've truly got to care about the happiness of others.
Not long ago, PBS aired a film called "Happy," tracking the phenomenon all over the world. The producer spoke about how he had heard that happy people tend to be healthier, get sick less often and live longer than unhappy people – and that for some reason, the oldest people in the world came from Okinawa in Japan.
He went there on a whim and found that it was a resounding YES, they were happy. The key is was how different generations come together on a regular basis. One day, he noticed a group of elderly women visiting a preschool as the kids were having a footrace. The grandmothers convened at finish line. They hugged all the kids as they finished. The producer went to congratulate a grandmother about having such a grandkid.
She said, 'That's not my grandchild. None of these are my grandkids.' She was asked, 'Is this your friend's?' She said, 'None of the women here are related to any of these children.'
I would love to see that happen at every bar mitzvah here. Total strangers of the older generations hugging all the kids as they cross the finish line. That is a culture that promotes happiness.
Lesson Six: Fake it
Nachman of Bratzlav also said, "If you are not happy, pretend to be. Even if you are totally depressed, act happy. Genuine joy will follow."
This one might leave you skeptical, but Reb Nachman believed that when we activate joy, it ignites a spark inside us, it opens up our aliveness and lets us see the world from a God's eye view. As Rabbi Mark Novak put it in a recent issue of Moment magazine in a section about happiness, "Putting on a smile is not intended to cover over anything, but to make room for what is here – the divine presence – in each breathing, sacred moment. The smile, which leads us to joy, which leads us to wonder, calls upon the child within us to live with curiosity and creativity."
In that same issue, Rabbi Gershon Wimkler wrote, "Happiness should not be something we strive for. It should be entrenched deeply within us." And he's right. Despite the unimaginable tragedies we have faced, we are a people known for our ability to rise above our sadness and smile. Happiness for us is much more than an emotion. It is a divine imperative.
Lesson Seven: Laugh your way through the tears.
When we ask, Mah Hasdenu, what causes us to smile even when we don't feel like it – it's our sense of humor.
Henny Youngman put it in the form of a joke: says I go to the doctor and the doctor says I have six months to live. I told him I can't pay him. So he gave me six months more.
That is the quintessential Jewish joke. We all have six months. We're all up against literally a dead-line. But if we can laugh at it and stand up to it, it will give us a reprieve from the sadness – and that's like bargaining for six months more.
Writer Jay Michelson calls the uniquely Jewish form of happiness "unhappy happiness," "a kind of happiness that lies beneath the surface; beneath, that is, what we ordinarily understand to be sadness or joy. A middle path between two unsatisfactory alternatives: what he calls "the Botox-smiling cheer of the American Dream on the one hand (in which unrelenting peppiness coexists with some of the world's highest levels of depression and dissatisfaction), and the self-defeating "Oy Vey" of Jewish irascibility."
Can we talk? Joan Rivers, made us laugh right up to the end, when she made us cry. She once said, in a moment not intended to draw giggles, "I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive."
Lesson Eight: Stay in the moment
There's an app, Track Your Happiness, which allows people to report their feelings in real time. Its developer discovered that we're least happy when we allow our minds to wander from the task at hand. That's because when our minds wander, we tend to obsess about things that worry us.
So if your mind is wandering now, you're probably worried. If you are focusing on me, you are much happier.
But even as we focus on that task, we can also get immersed in it – lost in it. I know that I am often happiest when I look up at the clock and can't believe how much time has elapsed. Having a direction, a goal, really helps, even if we may never finish what we've started. The sages were onto something when they stated that it is not ours to complete the task, but neither is it ours to desist from it.
Lesson Nine: Embrace your brokenness.
The Hebrew word for happiness, "Simcha" was found adjacent to signatures at the bottom of medieval legal documents found in the attic of a Cairo synagogue. Now legal documents don't typically ask us to express emotion. So scholars concluded that the real meaning of the Hebrew word "simcha" is not "joy," but "acceptance." And that is what, for Judaism, happiness is all about. Acceptance of what we can't change and learning to live with it.
There's that famous story that was first reported years ago in the Houston Chronicle, about Itzak Perlman once breaking a string during a performance in 1995. Rather than waiting for a new string to be attached, he just kept on playing. When he finished, the newspaper reported, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered. There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium.
He smiled, wiped the sweat from his brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said -- not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone -- "You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left."
You might notice that when I send out death notices, I use the traditional Hebrew response to tragic news, "Baruch Dayan Emet," "Blessed be the truthful Judge." You might wonder how we could possibly say a blessing for bad news. A student asked that very same question of Rabbi Eliemelech. He was instructed to go to the study hall and ask that question to Reb Zusya." When the student laid eyes on Reb Zusya, he could have easily imagined the suffering this man must have experienced in his lifetime. The pain of illness and poverty was etched on his face. The student proceeded to ask: How is it possible to bless God for bad news with equal fervor as for good news? Reb Zusya's reply: "Why are you asking me? How do I know the answer? Nothing bad has ever happened to me!"
OK. If this is supposed to be about happiness, why does it feel like the most depressing sermon of all time?
Because, I have a secret to tell you. Life is really depressing.
And so many of us have learned, the hard way, that happiness does not come automatically from wealth, fame or power, or the instant gratification of our every whim or desire, or an addiction to what feels, smells or tastes good. Revenge does not bring about happiness, nor does unlimited freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want, without any obligations or responsibilities. Happiness does not come from the indulgence of the self at the expense of others. If you live this way, you will soon understand why Oscar Wilde said, "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
Happiness also does not come from the avoidance of risk or adversity.
Instead, it comes from…. This. (Put on Pharrell hat)
I said that "Let it Go" the most repeated and reinterpreted song of the year, except one. Well, this is the one: Pharrell Williams' irresistibly infectious song "Happy" is one of the best selling of all time. Last month it became the most downloaded track ever in the UK. Including Scotland.
And literally just about every country on earth has created a video using this soundtrack. And I mean everywhere. From Abidjan to Zagreb. Both Tel Aviv AND Gaza did "Happy" videos this summer. Efrat too, right after the three Israeli teens were abducted near there. It inspired uplifting tributes from the typhoon-ravaged Philippines. How about Iran, where six young people were arrested for making a completely harmless "Happy" video. They were sentenced to lashes and forced to recant on television.
At last count, there are over 1900 versions of the video online from 153 countries. There's a site online where you can find them all. The happiest website on earth. The creators of the site explained that their purpose is:
To display happiness all around the world… a beautiful humanity needs to be protected in such times of crisis, and for that we must talk about the good things rather than dwell on what goes wrong.
Sometime this coming week, go onto that site and dance from place to place, randomly, or deliberately. Go from Abu Dhabi to Albuquerque, from the Bahamas to Johannesburg, from Madagascar to Moskow. I t is powerful to see. Who knew Poland was so happy? Or Morocco? There's one in sign language from a camp for the hearing impaired in upstate New York, and a fun one from New Zealand senior citizens. This song transcends language. It is truly universal. This year, "Happy" became the new lingua franca – the language we all speak.
It's as if, in the midst of Ebola and Ukraine and the two Malaysian planes, Gaza, Syria and Iraq, the Nigerian girls and Ferguson, some inner driving force that propels the world decided to remind us that beneath all the superficial differences, beyond the politics and craziness, we're all the same. (Take off hat)
In a big square in Copenhagen, there is an enormous interactive wooden pixel screen called the Happy Wall. When I first saw it, I said to myself: Perfect: We've got the Wailing Wall and the Scandinavians have the Happy Wall. That's just the way it is.
But as I drew closer to the Happy Wall, it drew me in. There are 2000 wooden boards of all different colors, and people are invited to write messages on individual boards or, create patterns, animals, words or statements grouping many of the boards.
I looked at some of the messages close up.
"Happy marriage for 30 years: Andrea and Gunnar."
"My family is my everything: Isabel."
"M.L: The answer is yes."
Now I've never read the messages that people put into the Kotel, but the messages I saw on the Happy Wall were probably very similar – only happier. At the Happy Wall we might see, "I love my great aunt Sylvia's potato blintzes more than life itself. I'll love her forever."
At the Kotel we might see, "My great aunt Sylvia was bitten by a mosquito in the back yard. Please keep her from dying of malaria."
The messages at both walls are about caring about something beyond ourselves. And that's what make us happy. It's Hesed. It's unbounded love, the kind of love that makes not only makes forgiveness possible – it makes it inevitable. It's warm puppy happiness. It's Hesed: the key to God's happiness, and the key to ours.
So we approach the end of this four part sermonic grappling with the Big Questions. What are we? We're in relationship with God, the Jewish people, the Jewish faith and the State of Israel. Where are we? We are wanderers, but wherever we are, we can make that place home. What are our lives? Judaism is no more and no less than the sum total of all our stories. And who really are we?
We're just a bunch of boys and a bunch of girls, standing in front of the world, asking it to love us.
Embracing our brokenness, focusing on the here and now, laughing through our tears, accepting our flaws, removing the masks, cultivating kindness, letting anger go, smiling even when we don't feel it, coming together to celebrate and cry with community.
And, oh yes. I did say there would be ten lessons.
So here's lesson ten: Live your Second Life.
I'm not talking about "Second Life," the online virtual world followed by a million people.
I'm talking about something that was said by Steven Sotloff, the American Jew (and Israeli citizen too,) whose experience was all too real. Before he was so brutally murdered by ISIS, he was able to smuggle home a few correspondences when former cellmates were freed. Last May, he wrote this letter that was read last month by his aunt at his funeral, before a hushed congregation:
"Please know I'm OK." He said. "Live your life to the fullest and fight to be happy. Everyone has two lives. The second one begins when you realize you only have one."
If Steven Sotloff could fight to be happy where he was, we have no reason to give in to despair back here. He was the embodiment of that rabbinic dictum that we must repent on the last day of our lives. And since we don't know when that will be, so must we repent each and every day.
I took some time recently to look through some of the articles and postings that Steven Sotloff left behind. One Tweet stood out: My friend Munthir Hussain was killed 2 days ago in #Al-Sakhoor #Aleppo . Don't 4get people in Syria--on both sides --have names.
His social media posts were largely about the locals he encountered. He often photographed children. He really cared about the people he was covering. An American Jew, who loved Israel enough to become a citizen under the law of return. And yet he loved the people of Libya and Syria. He understood that they all have names.
The victims all have names. The Syrians, the Iraqis, Israelis, Gazans, Ukrainians, Malaysians too. In memory of Sotloff, I'll be reading names of children from several of these groups during the Martyrology section later on.
When you realize that you have only one life, you will fight to be happy. Even God, according to Micah, fights to let go of that anger and to allow Hesed to prevail.
For those of us created in the divine image, i.e. all of us, we must do nothing less. We must fight to be happy by marshaling the forces of steadfast kindness to prevail inside of us. We must fine a way to let go and forgive. We must find a way to hug someone else's child. We must find a way to laugh through the tears. We must hold up that mirror or that camera phone and we must find a way to smile.
Mary Oliver, one of my favorite contemporary poets, summarizes here what today is all about:
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
May this be a year when we can share our joy and despair, and the soft animal of our body can love all that can be loved, and a year when all our big questions will be answered, for goodness, for happiness and for life.
And – for just another six hours or so - stay thirsty, my friends. Amen.
Labels: happiness, High Holiday Sermons


text:
Home / Casting Requirements / Minimum / Min 2 / Original Relocation
Original Relocation
by Jack J. Berry
1 Male, 1 Female, Min/Max 2
Fable, Farce, 2-Character, Bare Stage, Comedy
Adam and Eve start the first world war as they negotiate an uneasy peace when they are banished from Paradise. A funny take on the likely conversation after being ejected from Paradise. And of course, there are rules about Apples.
Original Relocation-Preview Copy quantity
Original Relocation-Preview Copy $6.97
Original Relocation-Multicopy PDF quantity
Original Relocation-Multicopy PDF $19.97
Original Relocation-Class/Group Study Project quantity
Original Relocation-Class/Group Study Project $29.95
Original Relocation-Performance Fee quantity
Original Relocation-Performance Fee $15.00
Categories: 1F, 1M, Betrayal, Blue Moon, Building Trust, Bullying, Characters From History, Children's Theatre, Christianity, Church, Church, College, College, Communication, Community, Community, Compassion, Family Values, High School, High School, Jack J. Berry, Junior School, Max 2, Middle School, Middle School, Min 2, Script, Seniors, Seniors
Genres: Comedy, Farce
Adam and Eve still can't get along. Who made up that stupid rule about apples, anyway? And which one of them did it apply to? And are they really lost?
Follow them as they try to make peace this side of paradise.
A comedy script for two actors by Jack J. Berry
WOMAN: (Whiney) I'm tired. Are we there yet?
MAN: (Irritated) No. Keep walking.
WOMAN: How do YOU know? Maybe we're lost.
MAN: We're not there yet and we're not lost.
WOMAN: Do you even know where we're going?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: Then how do you know we're not lost?
MAN: We're headed in the right direction.
WOMAN: Maybe we're going in circles.
MAN: No, we're getting farther from the garden.
WOMAN: I don't see it anymore. It doesn't seem like this is going anywhere.
MAN: We'll BOTH know when we get there. You heard him as well as I did.
WOMAN: (Sad and hurt) I never saw him angry before.
MAN: Well, what did you expect?
WOMAN: I guess a lecture or parable or something.
MAN: One simple rule and YOU couldn't follow it.
WOMAN: YOU didn't follow it either. Don't put all the blame on me!
MAN: I wanted to "validate your decision."
WOMAN: Besides, I never heard the rule from him — only from you. I should
be off the hook.
MAN: Did you think I was making it up?
WOMAN: It just seemed so arbitrary. And maybe it applied only to you and
MAN: It wasn't MY rule — it was HIS. And it applied to both of us.
WOMAN: How can you be so sure?
MAN: I'm stronger than you so you're supposed to be my helper. You DO
know the one time you were on top was because I let you, right?
WOMAN: Yes, you're stronger and I want to help you. But that doesn't mean I
have to do everything you tell me.
MAN: Well, you definitely should've listened to me THAT time. I told you
EXACTLY what he said. Word for word.
WOMAN: That lousy snake in the grass!
MAN: Still blaming the serpent.
WOMAN: Snake.
MAN: You told him it was a serpent.
by Adrienne Pender
2 Males, 1 Female
Colleges, Community, Diverse Cast, Drama
Adrienne Earle Pender's "N" dramatizes the struggle between playwright Eugene O'Neill and actor Charles Sidney Gilpin over the inclusion of the "N" word in the script for O'Neill's first box office hit, The Emperor Jones. in 1920. The play was turned into a film "The Black Emperor of Broadway" to be screened in 2020. O'Neill and Gilpin fight from rehearsal to Broadway run and, eventually, to the London tour. To Eugene O'Neill, a word is just a word. For Charles Gilpin, those six letters have the power to unravel everything that he has ever worked for. At stake for O'Neill? His artistic vision. For Gilpin? His entire career and family.
Screwtape Rewired
This one-person show was inspired by C.S. Lewis' classic offering, The Screwtape Letters, and features the demon SCAPEGLOAT, as he instructs a mélange of demons in the finer points of how to bring a couple of humans, Christie and Charlie, into his hellish domains. A distinctly Christian point of view.
by Bonnie Culver
8 Males; 2 Females; Doubling Possible
Colleges, Community, Doubling Possible, Drama, Edgy Play
Award-winning full-length drama for 8-10 actors, SNIPER is very loosely based upon the nation's first school shooting in 1975. The drama explores the mind and life of seventeen year old Anthony Vaccaro, who fatally shoots 9 citizens of a small town in upstate New York. Moving back and forth in time, Vaccaro searches his own past and remembers….
Great for high school, college, and community theater and discussion groups.
2 Males, 2 Females, Min/Max 4
Drama, Professional, Simple Set
On the day World War II ends, another war begins. Joe Taylor, an African-American veteran decides he wants to marry Nettie French, a childhood sweetheart, and buy the house belonging to Rose Beauchamp. Rose is a white teacher who has befriended both Nettie and Joe and encouraged their friendship and academic aspirations. Rose's prejudice rears its head and her reluctance to sell her house to Joe sets in motion a chain of events that threatens to destroy all their futures. Harry Rosen, a Jewish immigrant from Nazi Germany, enters their lives and helps them find their way home.
Original Relocation - Licence Performance
Original Relocation - Performance Fee Application

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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text:
Hard Bionics
Soft Bionics
Coming out about mental health on social media
by Bodyelectron.com September 19, 2019 0101
Credit: CC0 Public Domain
Susanna Harris was sitting in her lab class for her graduate program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill when she received an email that told her she had failed what she describes as "the most important exam in grad school," the doctoral qualifying exam. She took the rest of the day off, went home and baked cookies.
Harris continued with her regular schedule: lab, work, home, repeat. Everything seemed fine until she realized she was having a hard time focusing due to lack of sleep. That's when she decided to go to campus health to ask for a prescription for a sleeping aid. The doctor said they could give her a prescription, but it would be for antidepressants instead.
Harris was surprised how common depression is among Ph.D. students, so she began sharing aspects of her own mental health journey on social media by creating the Twitter account and hashtag #Ph.D.Balance. People share the stories they might otherwise keep private—stories of anxiety, depression, abuse, substance use, PTSD. Others comment on the posts and reach out to the author. "People have found friends and compatriots through our page based on what they are going through, and I think that is beautiful," said Harris, who has also shared her experiences onstage at The Monti—a nonprofit organization in North Carolina that invites people to tell personal stories.
While struggles with mental health were traditionally kept private, in recent years a growing number of sufferers are adopting the opposite tack: sharing their mental health battles with the world, via social media.
Celebrities and public figures like actors Dwayne Johnson and Gina Rodriguez and singer Ariana Grande have used social media as a platform to share stories about their mental health and encourage others. Kevin Love of the Cleveland Cavaliers began using his Twitter account to share the story of his struggles after writing an article for The Players' Tribune—a new media company that provides athletes with a platform to connect directly with fans. The article highlighted how he came to realize that sharing improves not only his life, but the lives of others.
Sammy Nickalls of Lebanon, Pa., is an editor and writer who created the hashtag #TalkingAboutIt in 2015. Nickalls said she did it because, as a University of Michigan study has found, Facebook and other social media can make people feel worse because they tend to show the happier aspects of users' lives. "When all you see are highlights from people's lives, social media encourages comparisons, FOMO (fear of missing out), all that good stuff," Nickalls said. "That's why I wanted to start #TalkingAboutIt—because if we're open about the dark times, too, social media will be less likely to make users feel lonely and like their lives don't measure up."
People often connect with one another by using hashtags like #TalkingAboutIt and #mentalhealth that have a broad target audience. Others such as #YouGoodMan and #YouOkSis were created specifically for mental health concerns in the African American community. #ThisIsWhatAnxietyFeelsLike is used by people with that specific problem.
People have also used social media to express their increased anxiety about mass shootings. Hashtag #ItsGettingTooHardTo began being used on Twitter in response to the mass shootings that occurred in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio. The hashtag #IAmNotDangerous was used to combat erroneous statements that mental illness is responsible for driving people to commit mass shootings.
Lauren Evans, a Philadelphia public relations professional, is a survivor of domestic violence who was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety in 2013. The community she found on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook helped her cope. Evans keeps the hashtag #DVsurvivor and words "Mental Health Advocate" in her Instagram bio to help her find other mental health accounts on social media. Finding others who understood her struggle and didn't discount her feelings was invaluable. She said social media "has been one of the most helpful things for me to have my voice feel validated, especially regarding past trauma. It's also super cool to network with others who are on their journey, and it makes it seem more socially accepted."
It is also common for organizations to use social media as a platform to share information, tips and strategies. The National Alliance on Mental Health has a Facebook page that provides information about events and a safe space for people to discuss their concerns.
Dr. Isaiah Pickens, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles and founder of IOpening Enterprises, believes that, when used the wrong way, social media can have a negative impact. "Social media can also exacerbate problems if it's not the right kind of community and if it's a community that potentially responds in ways that are toxic," Pickens said. "When people sometimes try to share their experience and their experience is received in a way that increases the type of harassment, intimidation and bullying that happens."
He cautions that people should think of social media as a secondary tool and get help from professionals and traditional support groups. Seek out groups on social media that share your problem, he said, and give yourself permission to hold back some aspects of your life. It's important to set boundaries.
For people who are open about their mental health on social media, there is a possibility that they will face backlash from friends, family or co-workers. "One time, when I made an understandable and human—in my opinion, anyway—mistake at work and had also been open about my mental health online the same day," Nickalls said, "a former employer said something along the lines of 'Maybe you should focus more on your work and less on your mental health.'"
But overall, she said, "I think people in general are thinking about mental health differently than they did before, and they're using social media to reach out for community and support."
If you or someone you know has talked about contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or use the online Lifeline Crisis Chat, both available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Source: www.medicalxpress.com
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Two years ago, in referring to this matter, I said - "A sud'den drop of £70,000 in our revenue is, of course, a serious matter in itself, and quite sufficient to disorganize our finances for the year."
Senator Millen - From what is the honorable senator quoting?
But the worst aspect of the situation is that another Government has first call upon about one-fourth of our whole revenue, and that it is impossible for us even to forecast what we shall receive until the Federal Treasurer has told us how much he means to retain.
Despite the compensation of the sugar bounty, Queensland has paid a heavier price for Federation than any State in the Commonwealth, and it would be unreasonable to expect her to continue to pay as dearly as she is now doing foi the privilege of remaining n member of the Union.
Senator Millen - They are very weighty words.
Later on I propose to take the judgment of the House by a motion dealing with this matter, and I trust honorable members- will discuss it as Australians and as Queenslanders, and without party feeling ; for whatever our political bias may be, we have all a common interest in the well-being and financial stability of the State.
These are the words of a man who does not" become hysterical, and talk about " thinking continentally," but is familiar with his subject, and urges that it is our dutv to conserve the rights of the States, as well as those of the Commonwealth. I wish to deal with this matter from the point of view of Queensland, which has expended a very large sum in the construction of railways. The representatives of Western Australia have told us again and again that its condition is so prosperous that it has been able to absorb the unemployed of New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia, and Tasmania, and to offer employment at fairly good wages to all who go there. We are glad to hear that in some part of Australia. - we care not whether it be in the north, south, east, or west of the Continent - the mining developments have 'been such as to enable people scattered all over Australia to find employment on going there.
Senator Millen - It is mutually advantageous. Western Australia found work for the men of the eastern States, and the eastern States found men for their work.
Senator TURLEY - Undoubtedly. I think that Senator Pearce paid the men who went there from the eastern States a great compliment when he said that the population of Western Australia consisted chiefly of men who were more enterprising and energetic, and possessed a more adventurous spirit than those of the other States. I think there is something in that argument.
The PRESIDENT - Does the honorable senator think that has anything to do with this question ?
Senator TURLEY - I think it has, sir. Queensland and Tasmania complain that their financial position is such that thev cannot bear the expense of makins a survey of or constructing this line, and its representatives point to the fact that, according to statements made by the representatives of Western Australia, that State is so wealthy that it ought to carry out this work for itself.
Senator Sir Josiah Symon - In other words, the representatives of Queensland and Tasmania ask why the wealthy man should request the poor man to make a road to his gate.
Senator TURLEY - Exactly. We base our objection to this Bill on the statements made by the representatives of Western Australia.' I would point out that Queensland has a very large railway mileage, and a heavy interest debt in respect of it. Allowing for depreciation, the amount expended by her on the construction of lines is £25>765>457- We have a public debt of over £30,000,000, equal to something like £76 per head of the population.
Senator Stewart - Queensland's funded and unfunded debt is about £42,000,000, or £80 per head of the population.
Senator TURLEY - I think that the honorable senator is mistaken. Our indebtedness is large, but I do not believe that if is as great as he suggests. I would remind the Senate that Queensland has never called upon any of the other States to assist her in building her railways, or to share with her the losses incurred in respect of them. According to quotations read by Senator Dobson, the leader of the delegates from Western Australia at the Federal Convention distinctly stated that that State was financially so sound that if necessary she could construct at her own expense a transcontinental railway to the South' Australian border. None of us would have any objection to Western Australia constructing lines all over that State, and offering South Australia, substantial compensation for the right to extend this line over the border ; but when she demands that the other States, which have borrowed largely in order to construct at their own expense railways from which, in some cases, they have received no return, should bear the cost of this survey, she makes a request that is unjustifiable. I hope that the Senate will reject it. Let us look a little further into the results of railway construction in the different States. If honorable senators will refer to page 575 of Coghlan's Australian and New Zealand Statistics for 1903-4, the last- edition published, they will find that in every State of the Commonwealth, with the exception of Western Australia, losses on the operation of the railway systems have had to be made up from the Consolidated Revenue. In Queensland in 1899-1900 the loss amounted to 1.35 per cent. ; in 1900-1 to 2.67 per cent. ; 1901-2, 2.01 per cent.; 1902-3, 2.44 per cent.; 1903-4, 1.56 per cent. The only State that showed a surplus on the management of the railways was Western Australia, and Coghlan states, that in 1899-1900, Western Australia not only succeeded in paying working expenses and interest on the cost of the construction of her railways, but made a net profit on their working of 2.29 per cent. I do not think that there is another State in the Commonwealth which has ever shown a profit of 2 per cent, on the working of her railways. The profit made in Western Australia in 1 900-1 was .83 per cent.; in 1901-2, .07 per cent.; in 1902-3, .27 per cent. ; and in 1903-4, 1.07 per cent. During the period referred to the New South Wales railways in one year only, 1900-1, showed a profit over working expenses and interest on cost of construction to the extent of .19 per cent.
Sitting suspended from 12.5J to 2.30 p.m.
Senator TURLEY - The figures which I have been able to quote from Coghlan show the results from the working of the railways in Queensland and Western Australia. I propose to submit a case for the consideration of the representatives of the latter State. Suppose that two persons had engaged in the same kind of business, but in different places, that one of them was receiving a fair income from his enterprise and investment, and that the other, although he had displayed as much energy, and invested as much if not more capital, was not earning the interest on his investment. If the successful man wanted to develop his own piece of country, would it be regarded in commercial circles as fair for him to go down to the other man who also had started from scratch, and exerted like energy, and POSsibly enterprise, and say, " I want to develop a little more of the country I own. I do not (know that I am very well able to do so. I certainly am doing a great deal' better than you are; but nevertheless I think you ought to chip in with me, and provide the means whereby I can further develop the country out of which I am doing so well." We are all very well acquainted with the person who is not doing well, and who meets us in Bourkestreet or Collins-street, and says, " Look here, old chap, I knew you in the west, I am very glad to see that you have got on. I was one of those who assisted you to get into your present position, and if you have a shilling or two to spare it will come in very handy." Senator Henderson is smiling. I suppose, because he has been in that position on many occasions. But how would it be if he and Senator Smith went down the street, and met a poor unfortunate nian who they knew had gone down in the west, and said, " We are in a pretty fair position, and we think that it is about up to you to lend us half-a-crown. " Of course, they would not think of doing that. Yet that is the very position which they take up regarding this railway project. I have not been able to ascertain the actual sum which the railways of their State have returned to the Treasury. I have only been able to give from Coghlan the percentage of interest which they have returned over and above the amount of working expenses, and interest on capital. But I am able to state the amount which we in Queensland have been called upon to contribute out of the general revenue for a number of years.
Senator Henderson - Can the honorable senator state the amount which Queensland has obtained in the way of sugar bounties ?
Senator TURLEY - I have not the table handy, but if I had I should certainly quote the amount for the information of my honorable friends from Western Australia.
Senator de Largie - I can tell the honorable senator that Western Australia has already paid twice as much as would cover the cost of the proposed survey.
Senator TURLEY - I do not dispute the statement which, if I recollect aright, was also made by Senator Smith in a speech to which, I shall refer by-and-by. I am now in possession of the tables which the Treasurer circulated in the Budget papers, and I propose to give the figures relating to the sugar bounties.
Senator Guthrie - How can we rely upon estimates?
Senator TURLEY - I am referring to figures that have been actually published by the Treasurer of Queensland for the information of Parliament and the public. The honorable senator, with his long parliamentary experience, should be aware that a Treasurer's estimates' are 'usually to be re lied upon. Of course, I do not blame honorable senators for not being fully acquainted with the local politics of Queensland. They do not expect me to be well posted in the details of the politics of their States. But when a senator from Tasmania or South Australia tells us what is the practically unanimous opinion of the people of his State upon a certain proposal, I accept his word.
Western Australian senators that it is absolutely necessary to have the railway built?
Senator TURLEY - So I do. I am not denying that Western Australia thinks that she requires the survey to be made, and the railway to be constructed. I am not quarrelling with the Western Australian senators who impress that view upon us. I was in Western Australia some time ago, at the invitation of the Western Australian Government, who treated me remarkably well ; and although not pretending to have an extended knowledge of the affair's! of that State politically, commercially, or industrially, I have no doubt that the Western Australian senators honestly and straightforwardly represent the opinions of the majority of their people. I believe they are doing their best in the interests of their State; and why should I be denied the right to do exactly the same in the interests of the State I represent? Up to the present the public debt of Queensland amounts to £41,545,000. We have .spent on our railways about £25,000,000, and in the year 1901-2 there was a charge on the Consolidated Revenue in respect of those railways of £513,128 over and above the interest earned.
Senator Clemons - What is the interest bill?
Senator TURLEY - I think it is between £3 75. 6d. and £3 10s. per head.
That on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday during the present session^ Government business take precedence of all other business on the notice-paper, except questions and formal motions, and except that private business take precedence of Government business on Thursday up to the tea adjournment, and that, unless otherwise ordered, private orders of the day take precedence of 'private notices of motion on alternate Thursdays.
The PRESIDENT - Has there not been another sessional order passed since?
Senator Col Neild - No, and that is the very point I am stating. I know what the Government attempted to do, but they did not do it. The position is absolutely analogous to one which arose in the New South Wales Parliament some time ago, when I took identically the same point of order, and it was confirmed. In the sessional order to which I have referred there is absolutely no provision for "otherwise ordered," so far as private business is concerned. Private business is by the sessional order absolutely fixed, and stated for Thursday afternoons. What the Government did on the nth September was this: They did not repeal the sessional order to which I have referred, or move to suspend it, but they invited the Senate to pass, and the Senate in all good faith, and, I submit, also in ignorance, passed a motion to do something which under the sessional order could not be done. Before the motion passed on the nth. September could be validly passed it was necessary to have rescinded the sessional order. It is patent to any lawyer that you cannot destroy a superior instrument by an inferior instrument. You cannot destroy an Act of Parliament by a regulation, a standing order bv a sessional order, or a sessional order by a mere motion or resolution, unless the sessional order contains a proviso to enable you to vary it at any time. The sessional order to which I refer contains no such proviso.
Senator Givens - Would not the words " until otherwise ordered " permit of a variation ?
Senator Col Neild - If the words " until otherwise ordered " appeared in the sessional order, I should not have raised the point of order, which affords me an opportunity of calling the attention of the President and the Senate to the serious inroad made upon parliamentary practice by the attempt made to destroy a sessional order by a mere motion. On the nth September a motion was passed under which, instead of private senators' business taking precedence before the tea hour, it was to have precedence after the tea hour, the Government assuming the power to transact public business up to the tea hour. In pursuance of that motion the Government are now proceeding to perpetrate an outrage on our sessional orders.
The PRESIDENT - I see the honorable senator's point.
Senator Col Neild - I have not quite finished my statement. If you, sir, are prepared to rule in mv favour, so far 'as I have gone, I shall take up no more time, but if otherwise, I should like to be permitted to finish my statement of the case. It is a serious thing that the Senate in a disorderly manner should set aside its sessional orders. If it is competent to pass a motion altering the transaction of business in a certain way that conflicts with ai> existing sessional order it is quite possible to do the same with our Standing Orders, which are arrived at and confirmed by a process similar to that adopted in the passing of our sessional orders. Our Standing Orders are not passed in the way in which Standing Orders in some of the State Parliaments are passed. In New South Wales the Standing Orders require the confirmation of the Governor in Council ; ours require nothing of the kind. They are simply the acts of the Senate; our process of creating a sessional order and a standing order is exactly the same, and the authority of each is equal, with this one difference, that the Standing Orders are for all time, whilst the sessional orders are for the session only. I am dealing with a sessional order, but I submit that its validity and authority is exactlv equal to that of a standing order. We know that a standing order cannot be wiped out by a motion unless by suspending the Standing Orders first. No attempt was made on the11th September to suspend the sessional order to which I have referred. If the Government made a mistake in the method adopted for the conduct of business, it is not right that the repute of the Senate should be blemished in consequence of a Ministerial blunder. We are the custodians of our own honour, which is involved in the proper conduct of our business in accordance with law. I have ref erred to the sessional order of the 14th June.
The PRESIDENT - They are both sessional orders.
Senator Playford - And both passed by resolution.
The PRESIDENT - That is so.
Senator Col Neild - I see nothing in the Journals of the nth September to show that the motion passed on that day is a sessional order at all.
Senator Playford - It is just as much a sessional order as the first one referred to.
The PRESIDENT - If the honorable senator will look up the records he will find that the resolution of the 14th June and the resolution of the nth September are exactly the same. Both are resolutions, and resolutions only. I have not, of course, said anything as to the point of order raised.
Senator Col Neild - I beg, with great respect to you, sir, to point out that on the 14th June the Senate passed a sessional order.
The PRESIDENT - The records of the Senate do not show that.
Senator Col Neild - I say, without fear of contradiction, that it was moved as a sessional order.
The PRESIDENT - So was the other resolution. I do not think that that derogates in any way from the point of order; but I am pointing out that the honorable senator must treat the two resolutions as exactly the same. I see his point, but the honorable senator is trying to draw a distinction between the resolution of the 14th June and that of the11th September, and really there is no such distinction between them as the honorable senator suggests. Neither of them are standing orders.
Senator Col Neild - They are not standing orders, but one is a sessional order and the other a motion.
Senator Col Neild - I think that if the records of the Senate are looked up, my contention will be borne out, and if it is not, then the entries in the Journals do not agree with the entries in Hansard.
The PRESIDENT - We have nothing to do with Hansard.
Senator Col Neild - I am aware of that, and perhaps I have been misled to that extent, as I have not looked up the Journals or the notice-paper of the Senate.
Senator Clemons - The honorable senator is still on perfectly sound ground as to his point of order.
Senator Col Neild - I am absolutely sure that the resolutions the Senate passed on the 14th June were submitted as sessional orders.
The PRESIDENT - It does not make the slightest difference to the point of order whether they were or not. Both are resolutions. The honorable senator is merely elaborating a point which he cannot substantiate by the records.
Senator Col Neild - Then I say that the records are faulty. At that rate, we have no sessional orders. We have deliberately adopted certain motions, believing them to be sessional orders, and we are now told that they are not sessional orders. In the circumstances, I must look up the notice-paper.
The PRESIDENT - A "sessional order " is only another name for a. resolution, the effects of which last during the session.
Senator Col Neild - Then in the Senate we do not recognise sessional orders.
If we have come to that pass when we have to depend upon mere resolutions, then God help the Senate in regard to the orderly conduct of its business. It means that, instead of having sessional orders, as in the Legislative Assembly of New South Wales, we have a disorderly array of contradictory resolutions, with no credit to the Senate, or to the representatives of the Government.
The PRESIDENT - According to standing order 127 the Senate cannot rescind a resolution unless it follows a certain procedure. The point is that such procedure has never been adopted.
An order, resolution, or other vote of the Senate, may be rescinded ; but no such order, resolution, or other vote may be rescinded during the same session, unless seven days' notice be given, and at least one half of the whole number of senators vote in favour of its rescission : Provided that, to correct irregularities or mistakes, one day's notice only shall be sufficient.
I now submit, sir, that that standing order has not been complied with, and that, therefore, the sessional order of the 14th June stands, and the resolution of the 1 Itr September is a nullity as concerns the procedure of the Senate in relation to private business on Thursday afternoon.
Senator Playford - As regards the resolution which was passed at the beginning of the session, and which is called a sessional order, it is plain' that there has been a mistake made. Sessional orders are simply resolutions which may be altered or varied at the will of the Senate.
Senator Millen - In accordance with standing order 127.
Senator Playford - Possibly, but that standing order has never been obeyed here. With al short interval I have been a member of Parliament since 1.868, and I know that it has never been obeyed in any Parliament in which I have sat. Why we did not obey the standing order I do not know.
The PRESIDENT - In South Australia we always obeyed that standing order.
Senator Playford - It has not been obeyed as regards the resolution to alter the days of meeting.
The PRESIDENT - Because that resolution contains the words " unless otherwise ordered " which were left out of the \ former one.
Senator Playford - The unfortunate part of it is that we did not have the words put in, but the will of the Senate was that it should meet on the days and hours mentioned in the second sessional order, and that private business should take precedence at a' certain time other than that mentioned in the first sessional order. I can do no more, sir, than bow to your ruling.
That during the remainder of the present session, unless otherwise ordered, the time of meeting of the Senate on Wednesday and Thursday in each week be half-past ten a.m., and that Government business take precedence of all other business on the notice-paper except questions and formal motions, and except that private members' Bills already on the notice-paper take precedence of all other business on Thursday after the tea adjournment.
Undoubtedly the resolution of nth September would have been effective if, in the resolution of 14th June, the words " unless otherwise ordered " had been i'nserted. lt is quite clear that standing order 127 has not been complied with, and that therefore the resolution of nth September is not binding. I think that you, sir, will see with me that the point of order is absolutely good, and that* there is now nothing left for Senator Playford to do except to throw himself on the mercy of the Senate in some ordinary way.
That on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday during the present session Government business take precedence of all other business on the notice-paper, except questions and formal motions, and except that private business take precedence of Government business on Thursday up to the tea adjournment, and that, unless otherwise ordered, private orders of the day take precedence of private notices of motion on alternate Thursdays.
It will be seen that that is a positive resolution of the Senate which does not con- tain the limitation " unless otherwise ordered," except in reference to private orders of the day taking precedence of private notices of motion on alternate Thursdays. It is not competent for the Senate to annul that resolution unless it takes the procedure prescribed by standing order 127. That procedure has not been taken, and therefore I have to rule that the point of order is. correct. It is with, the greatest reluctance that I give this ruling, because to a certain extent it reflects upon the President, and upon the officers of the Senate.


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Supporters protest conditions at two Port Alberni care homes as grievances pile up
Susie Quinn
Close to 75 protesters with signs marched between FIr Park Village and Echo Village long-term care homes in Port Alberni on Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2021 to advocate for better conditions and management at the facilities. (SUSAN QUINN/ Alberni Valley News)
Former healthcare workers and family members stand with signs in front of Echo Village long-term care home in Port Alberni on Aug. 31, 2021, advocating for better working conditions. (SUSAN QUINN/ Alberni Valley News)
Former healthcare workers, family members and other supporters march from the parking lot at Echo Centre to the front of Echo Village long-term care home in Port Alberni on Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2021. (SUSAN QUINN/ Alberni Valley News)
Mark Chase has lived in Echo Village for 11 years. He has seen first hand the changes in staffing and how it has affected residents, many of whom cannot speak for themselves. (Aug. 31, 2021) (SUSAN QUINN/ Alberni Valley News)
Kristy Salter, right, who organized the protest, leads supporters from Fir Park Village to the front of Echo Village long-term care home in Port Alberni on Aug. 31, 2021. Salter said she wanted to give a voice to people who felt they couldn't about working and living conditions in the two homes. (SUSAN QUINN/ Alberni Valley News)
More than 75 former staff members, supporters, family members and at least one resident protested last week in front of a pair of Port Alberni long-term care facilities pushing for better conditions.
Many of the protesters' signs brought attention to staffing issues at the Fir Park and Echo Village facilities, calling on the Alberni-Clayoquot Continuing Care Society (ACCCS)—which oversees both homes—to take action.
Denis Sauve, a former City of Port Alberni appointee to the ACCCS board, said he attended the protest to speak up for staff and clients at both facilities. "We're being a voice for staff members that are being intimidated and don't want to come forward," Sauve said.
"It's been ongoing for a long time. There's staff shortages that need to be addressed, the workers that are working—the nurses and care aides—are working long hours and that's one of the grievances put forward. But mostly you've got residents, you've got your loved ones in there and they haven't had a bath for a week or two or three and it's just unheard of. That's what we're trying to address, is to get the proper care."
Staff members were not involved in the protest, however, some of them stood across the street to watch the proceedings, including a union member with the Hospital Employees' Union (HEU). None of them were willing to speak with media.
A union spokesperson with the HEU confirmed for another news outlet that more than 100 grievances have been filed by staff members at both Fir Park Village and Echo Village. Sauve said the grievances are one of a number of concerns.
"The fact that 100 grievances have been made by the staff, and none of them have been addressed in a timely fashion is not right," Sauve said. "And staff members here have a collective agreement to be able to deal with these grievances, but they're being ignored.
"Now we have many workers on both sides that are worried to come forward. They don't want to come forward because they're worried about retribution."
Mark Chase has lived at Echo Village for 11 years. He rode his electric scooter among the protesters with his own sign proclaiming that he had been threatened with eviction because he spoke out about conditions inside the home.
"I'm here to stand up for the staff and residents that can't speak their piece," he said. "I've been here for 11 years. I've seen what it was before, to what it is now. There's no comparison: it's just gotten worse and worse. Staff aren't happy and I'm here for them.
"They're so short-staffed they can't run properly with what they've got."
Kristy Salter organized the Aug. 31 protest after seeing a television news report where people aired their grievances. Salter, an education assistant (EA) with School District 70, said she is not a healthcare worker but she knows several people who work in Fir Park and Echo Village.
"After receiving all these private messages from current staff members that are too afraid to speak because they're worried about repercussions, I decided I would create this event and hopefully gather enough support to make this out in the open for the community," Salter said.
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