text:
collapsing the waveform
Last night, my macbook started having short freezes, and iPhoto wouldn't launch. I rebooted. The start sequence got stuck at the apple logo loading screen. Many reboots (safe mode, taking out and replacing battery, etc) all stayed at this screen.
I decided to take it to the Apple Store. Best case: running a disk utility would repair the error and make things good as new in 10 minutes. Worse: the logic board is broken, but no data loss. Even worse: the hard drive is hosed.
All morning I found myself mentally assessing the probabilities of each, hoping for a good outcome.
In late afternoon, I went to my appointment at the Apple Genius Bar. They connected an external hard drive and quickly declared that my hard drive failed, such that the partition is unreadable. "Your data is gone," they said cheerfully, to make sure I understood.
As I walked out of the store, I was surprised to find that I felt better. This was one of the worse outcomes. But now my mental background processes could start cataloguing the list of apps I need to reinstall, and non-backed up scripts to rewrite. Collapsing the waveform brought its own relief.
I think it's due to my myers-briggs being a J rather than a P. If I were a P, perhaps I would prefer the time of innocence, before knowing with certainty that my hard drive is toast.
especially if you taught them using emacs
Today I received an email where the sig was very amusing:
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day;
if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
--- Anonymous
I showed it to my programmer friend, and we both fell about laughing.
Keith: "The XX bakery has new management, and it's not as good as before. One of the three original founders died from a heart attack."
Me: "Oh, that's too bad."
Keith: "His name was on the lease so his wife or girlfriend kicked out the other two, and took it over."
Me: "That's terrible! Was she his wife or his girlfriend?"
Keith: "Both."
Me: "He was married and had a mistress?"
Keith: "Yes."
Me: "So which one took over the lease?"
Keith: "They did it together."
Me: "Wow. Well, I guess they had similar tastes."
Keith: "United by their grief and greed."
Me: "Like many a capitalistic venture."
amazon mystery
Last time I visited the library, I borrowed a book from the new arrivals section.
I tried to read it today, and it was horrible. I kept cringing from the writing and the unbelievable characters. I stopped after twenty pages.
Yet this book averages four stars on Amazon! How can this be? One review says:
"This book could have been alot better if it shaved off about 250 pages.
I wasn't too pleased with this one."
Yet the reviewer still gave three stars! I've lost some faith in Amazon reviews after this. Perhaps the author somehow tapped into a readership who is eager to please and reluctant to criticize.
gallows humor
This "Overheard in New York" installment is funny:
Hobo on subway to man in suit: Spare change? Anyone? Spare change for the homeless? You look like you worked for Lehman Brothers, you're excused.
--51st St
why are so many songs about love?
I was switching between radio stations yesterday, and every station was playing a love song. Half the songs are about how great it feels to be in love, and the other half are about the sorrows of losing that love.
How did it become a social standard that pop songs are all about love? I suppose the experience is more universal, as opposed to politics, where any song will alienate a portion of the population. Or songs about a particular line of work, which would bore people from other professions. Love appeals to all ages, from teenagers to seniors.
Regardless, there are so many other facets to life. Why aren't there more songs along the lines of "I'm worried about the health of my grandparents" or "I love my job" or "The global gloom-and-doom is a difficult thing"?
germans being funny
In the Google Munich office. I'm temporarily sitting in an office with two German engineers.
Me: [dialing a number into the phone] "Hello? Oh, I'm sorry. I got the wrong number."
Munich Googler #1: [overhearing] "Did you dial 7 to get to an outside line?"
Me: "Yes, but it didn't work. I'm trying to call this number: 4916..."
Munich Googler #1: "Replace 49 with 0. You are in Germany, so you don't need the top-level namespace."
Munich Googler #2: "Why don't you just say 'Don't dial the country code' like a normal person?"
Munich Googler #1: [confidently] "This is more understandable."
I thought it was cute.
Sarah Palin song
This is funny.
Also it's sweet how the woman keeps looking over at the guy.
I'm in Europe this week, and I miss my friends back home. Luckily there is gmail-integrated IM.
Pellinore: also, i've been very sick.
niniane: awwww, i'm sorry that you're sick.
Pellinore: i am going to the hospital on tues for a lot of tests
niniane: what kind of illness?
niniane: what symptoms?
Pellinore: it's a long story... but something is wrong with my GI track... nobody really knows why
Pellinore: so they need to go in and take a look...
Pellinore: they're going to send in little cameras for one or both endpoints (that's what they call it)!!
Pellinore: i need to drink this shit tomorrow to completely clear my system for my tests on tuesday
niniane: endpoints! wow
niniane: what color is the drink?
niniane: how long have you been ill like this?
Pellinore: last week, i went to this new dermatologist about 3 random skin problems
Pellinore: he gave me an antibiotic... these pills were awful. they made me so so so sick
niniane: so this is a reaction to the pills?
Pellinore: yeah, that's the frustrating part
Pellinore: i'm not very good at listening to doctors...
niniane: it's because you rebel against authority :)
Pellinore: my grandfather's brothers were all doctors... growing up, i remember hearing them talk about things over dinner all the time and i always thought they were like car mechanics... or like us... just putting useless print statements to see what's going on...
niniane: yeah, why did you take the antibiotics then? :)
Pellinore: i thought i should try it.
Pellinore: i made the mistake of listening
Pellinore: and now i'm making a bigger mistake by letting them put cameras up and down my endpoints
Pellinore: what if the two cameras crash into each other!
Pellinore: what if they form a knot and they can't get them out!
Pellinore: i hope they're doing this one at a time.
niniane: why do they need to do two cameras
niniane: i guess it depends on the direction it's pointed
niniane: i hope they don't just wash it and use it in the other direction
Pellinore: :)
Pellinore: thanks for listening to my story
niniane: oh, it was great.
niniane: the endpoints, and camera collisions
niniane: it was just like work
photos of hotness
Omst took our mutual friend Lauren to the Google vegetable garden. When his back was turned, she picked a pepper.
Five of us (including Omst and Lauren) were scheduled to meet for dinner. Lauren decided that if anyone was late, their penalty was to eat the pepper.
Dan was late. Here he is, holding his punishment.
This is a video of him eating it.
On the subject of food pictures, I'm now addicted to yogurt. Fresh yogurt, not the cannister type. Last week, I had yogurt four days in a row, at Fraiche Yogurt in Palo Alto.
You cannot actually see the yogurt here, since it's covered with pineapple and dark chocolate shavings. But it's very good.
Another novelty food item I recently ate was winter melon soup, inside a big winter melon. In chinese fashion, the saran wrap was not removed from the melon. Have you ever gone to a chinese person's house and noticed that they kept the protective covering on their chairs or remote control? We're like that.
By the way, if you were wondering about the title of the post, it's because the pepper was hot.
i'll recreate encountering Gates McFadden in the Google bathroom
I am very excited today to see this article: Scientist: Holographic television to become reality:
Picture this: you've sat down for the Football World Cup final, or a long-awaited sequel to the "Sex and the City" movie and you're watching all the action unfold in 3-D on your coffee table.
The reason for renewed optimism in three-dimensional technology is a breakthrough in rewritable and erasable holographic systems made earlier this year by researchers at the University of Arizona.
I don't care about watching TV in 3-d. That's boring. But if we can get high-res 3-d projections, then we can write AI and get closer to making the Star Trek holodeck!
I will not have walked this earth in vain, if one day I can make software that emulates the Star Trek holodeck.
It might not happen until I'm seventy years old, and the touch aspect won't work and my holodecks would be immediately overtaken by porn. But I would still be happy.
This part of the article makes me skeptical:
The researchers produced displays that can be erased and rewritten in a matter of minutes.
To create television sets the images would need to be changing multiple times each second -- but Peyghambarian is very optimistic this can happen.
"It took us a while to make that first breakthrough, but as soon as you have the first element of it working the rest often comes more rapidly," he said. "What we are doing now is trying to make the model better. What we showed is just one color, what we are doing now is trying to use three colors. The original display was four inches by four inches and now we're going for something at least as big as a computer screen."
There are no more great barriers to overcome now, he said.
Really? Projecting a single color a few times per hour is not much harder than a high-resolution model at 24 frames per second? I guess if you say so...
Oh, and the best part: If we can have 3-d projections from a portable source which emanates audio, then...
holographic miniature pig
Alipé sent me this link for New Virtual Earth with 3D Clouds.
Seeing my clouds in this video was like seeing an old friend.
overheard at dinner
Walking out from dinner on Monday, Dan and I passed a young couple.
Dan: "That was an interesting sentence to overhear."
Me: "What was it? I wasn't paying attention."
Dan: "She said, 'Don't just tell me, 'Do whatever you want.''"
Me: "So they were arguing?"
Dan: "Yeah. He thinks he's being flexible, by agreeing to whatever she wants to do. But what she really wants is for him to be an emotional participant in the latest crisis of the moment. A crisis that she probably manufactured in order to get a reaction from him."
Me: "That's quite the analysis."
Dan: [noises of humility]
Me: "We can be momentarily smug that each of us is not embroiled in this type of argument. For two months."
Dan: "Until those exact words are said to us?"
Me: "Right."
Dan: "In your case, you'd be the one saying them."
conversations about Caltech
Today Megan had me do this exercise:
I was not as graceful as the woman depicted above.
Megan: "Shoulders over your wrists! Raise your leg! You're not raising your leg high enough! Are you listening to what I'm saying?"
Me: [struggling] "This is hard."
Megan: "I know you can figure this out! You went to Caltech."
Me: [out of breath] "We did not learn this at Caltech."
A better example of the Caltech lifestyle happened during a conversation last month with my college friend C3. He has always been an avid video game player, and would disappear for weeks after the release of a Blizzard title.
Me: "So do you play World of Warcraft?"
C3: "I stayed away from it, since I figured that would mark the end of my corporeal existence."
I told this later to Ono, who said while laughing, "Note how he says it's not the end of his entire existence, since he'll still have an existence through WoW."
My friend made a very pretty room in Lively. It made me happy.
telling someone they've gotten fat
I'm impressed by this spiel for telling your spouse that they've gotten fat.
I've been worried lately because my dad, mom, grandfather, other blood relative, coworker, long time friend or acquaintance… died from a heart attack (or has been ill). I've been really thinking about it a lot lately. And I have been trying to come to grips with that for some time. Not because they died (or are ill), but because I know it could have been prevented. They were (pick one or some) overweight, didn't get any exercise, smoked, drank, were depressed… and I keep asking myself why they chose not to do anything about it? And then I took a hard look at us. I'm wondering if we're falling into that same rut of complacency. I've been reading about the fact that positive lifestyle changes can add years to our lives together. And not just that, but add MEANINGFUL years to our lives.
I think we need to change some things about how we are living, and I'd like your help figuring out what changes we can make. I've got some ideas, if you'd be willing to listen: "I think we both need to change what we're eating. The fast food is convenient, but it's killing us slowly. I'm willing to do more around the house so that we can make time to eat healthier." (Dietary habits are key to weight loss)
"I'd also like us to commit to getting in better shape. We both need to get out there. I'm not saying we have to join a gym or be muscle heads. But I know that if we just started walking or playing more that we'd feel better physically and emotionally."
"I'd also like us to get rid of the junk food in the house and stop buying it. Cheetos, ice cream sandwiches and snack cakes are things I feel we eat too much of. I'm not saying that once in a while is bad, but I think we eat too much of that stuff right now. And if it's there, I know I'll go grab it because it's convenient. Can we work on replacing the junk with healthier alternatives?"
Close by looking deep into their eyes lovingly, and placing your hand on the back of their neck, draw them closer to you. It helps cement communication. Say softly: "Honey, we're a 'we'. I depend on you so much for strength and support, and I don't think I can make these changes without you. I need you in this with me and to be part of the solution for both of us. Can we do this together? I'll help you and you can help me."
What do you think, gentle readers? Would you rather hear this, or something straightforward?
hand soaps.
Online soap shopping is challenging! First, you must decide the texture:
moisturing
deep cleansing
gentle foam
and then the bombardment of aromas, without being able to smell them:
orange ginger
wild honeysuckle
irresistible apple
eucalyptus spearmint
lavendar vanilla
But I had to get through it. I am having a soap issue.
I used Costco clear soap for four years. Then I visited a coworker's house, and it opened my eyes to how wonderful soap can be. I know now that soap doesn't have to be just a tool for fighting bacteria. It can be a source of joy and stress relief and energy, depending on the aroma.
Now it will be my turn to have great soap. My soaps will be so satisfying that when people need to go to the bathroom, they'll drive from their house to my house so that they can wash their hands with my soap afterwards.
funny LHC links
The LHC webcam.
http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com. It has an RSS feed.
A LHC photo that may shock you.
traffic spike
Over instant messenger.
niniane: did you wish sha-mayn happy bday?
alipé : yep
alipé : Facebook was down for a while early this morning.
alipé : probably due to the overwhelming volume of people wishing her happy birthday
niniane: lol
happy birthday Sha-mayn
The world is a better place with Sha-mayn.
not the first time someone got fired because of Steve Jobs
At a Mexican taqueria with my brother.
Me: "Did you hear about how Bloomberg accidentally published an obituary for Steve Jobs last week?"
Tom: "No!"
Me: "It was in the news. At a conference the other day, Steve Jobs said, 'The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.'"
Tom: "That's a good one. Oh, I bet that Bloomberg reporter got fired."
Me: "You think so? Yeah, heads probably rolled."
Tom: "Someone ran into his office and said, 'In thirty seconds, prepare to write your own obituary!'"
House Bunny mysteries
Recently I watched "The House Bunny" with my brother. It's an entertaining movie.
The premise is that a playboy bunny gets kicked out of Hef's mansion, and becomes house mother of a geeky sorority. She gives them makeovers, and they teach her to value her smarts.
Here is the before picture of the sorority girls:
and the after photo:
If the movie genre isn't clear, here's another hint: one of the previews featured Richard Gere.
I liked the movie. It reminded me of Caltech (sorry, Beavers). However, there were several mysteries that are disturbing my enjoyment of the film. If you can concoct a reasonable hypothesis for any of them, please leave a comment.
Believable explanations only! No elaborate tales. Also no useless comments like "it's a movie" or "it's all made up".
1. How come the geeky sorority girls have such nice figures? I realize they're in waterbras and heels, but they still have unnaturally good material to start from. Maybe because they're 19 with the youthful metabolisms.
2. Where did they get the money for the makeovers and parties? Manicure / pedicures cost around $50. Hair extensions cost upward of $200. Is this coming from the university sorority budget?
3. How come Oliver gives Shelley (the playboy bunny) another chance even though he wants a smart upstanding woman (plus she lied to him)?
4. After the epiphany about embracing their true selves, why does Natalie still go for this guy who noticed her most when she pretended to be less knowledgeable (about the Aztecs)?
I hope we can resolve these mysteries, so that the path will be paved for House Bunny 2.
Over brunch at University Cafe.
RB: "Did you get my card?"
Me: "Oh, I haven't gone through my mail in a month. It takes so long to file the papers into my filing cabinet."
RB: "Why don't you just dump them into a shoe box?"
Me: "I file them into individual folders for bills, insurance, mortgage, etc."
RB: "How often do you go back to look something up?"
Me: "Almost never. Maybe once a year."
RB: "So you do frequent writes, and infrequent lookups. Why would you choose to pay the cost on write? Just dump everything into a box and then sort through it if you ever need to look for a particular item! You would never design a software system this way."
Me: [stunned into epiphany]
Chinese view on weddings
I keep hearing about a mentality amongst American women where they daydream about their wedding day since they were a little girl. I find the phenomenon interesting, because as far as I can tell, Chinese women don't share it.
Last week, I was talking to my mother about how my cousin recently re-married.
Me: "Did my cousin hold a wedding this time?"
My mother: "No. He wanted to do it quickly. If he did hold a dinner or some type of event, your aunt and uncle didn't know about it."
Me: "Don't worry. When I get married, I'll have a wedding."
My mother: "Will you invite me?"
Two nights before leaving Beijing, I saw this dish on a restaurant menu: "Cold Fresh Walnuts with Cherry Blossoms". I ordered it out of curiosity.
Surprisingly, the restaurant actually had cherry blossoms on hand. Maybe it was from a can.
I learned that there's a reason why people don't usually eat cherry blossoms. They are absolutely revolting. I had to let the whole dish go to waste, because even the walnuts were tainted and thereby disgusting.
Here is a photo of food which is actually good. On the right is a stack of cucumber segments. Chinese cucumbers have more taste than American ones, and it's common to eat a whole raw cucumber as a snack.
I was amused by the translation of this restaurant name.
The translation is "American Owl Restaurant". I don't think that was the original intent behind the name "Hooters".
olympics pics
Working out of the Beijing Google office turned up unforeseen difficulties, to my dismay.
But the air of Olympics fervor throughout the city was eye-opening. Here are photos from the events I watched.
Water Cube aquatics center, built just for the Olympics.
Ceiling inside the Water Cube.
Swimmers stretching before 200-meter medley semifinals. Phelps is third from the right.
You can see the cameraman in Phelps's lane, on the far right of the photo. As each athlete was announced, he ran up to them, zooming the camera on their facial expression. In the middle of #7, he abandoned his close-ups and hightailed it back to lane 3 for Phelps. There was no footage of #8 getting introduced, because the cameraman spent all that time prepping the perfect shot of Michael Phelps.
Outside of the Bird's Nest athletics center, lit up at night.
USA vs Brazil in the women's soccer gold-medal match.
I found it interesting to watch an entire soccer game from start to finish. There is so much buildup after 90 minutes go by without a goal. By the time the ball actually lands in the net, the anticipation is extreme.
USA basketball Team of Redemption against Argentina.
The main advantage of the US team seemed to be the ability to defend without committing fouls. Argentina fouled over and over again. At one point, the US was permitted three free throws due to a foul. A few minutes later, the US was permitted four free throws for a single foul.
The fouls added up to much more than the point spread.
James Blake serving. I got to see the drama firsthand of Blake petitioning the referee over this shot (full article):
Blake powered a forehand toward Gonzalez, who was standing close to the net. The ball flew long but Blake immediately claimed it had brushed his opponent's racket.
Television replays backed up his assertion.
But umpire Yan Kuszak saw nothing, and Gonzalez remained mute at the back of the court instead of calling a point against himself.
While tennis continues to embrace technology, with HawkEye used to settle disputes on line calls, it is not used to settle disputes such as this one.
"Playing in the Olympics, in what's supposed to be considered a gentleman's sport, that's a time to call it on yourself," said a fuming Blake in his post-match news conference. "Fernando looked me square in the eye and didn't call it.
"If that happened the other way, I never would have finished the match because my father would have pulled me off the court if I had acted that way.
"That's a disappointing way to exit the tournament when you not only lose the match, but you lose a little faith in your fellow competitor."
I spent a long time afterwards reading stories of bad and good sportsmanship.
This sailing rescue is my favorite story of sportsmanship.
courtesy of Sha-mayn
gymnastics amazingness
This gymnastics routine is awe-inspiring.
olympics mystery
Yesterday in Beijing, much of the Olympics buzz revolved around Liu Xiang withdrawing from the 110m hurdles.
The official story is that an old Achilles heel injury flared up two days ago.
Liu's coach Sun Haiping, who broke down in tears at a news conference yesterday, told CCTV that the sprinter had suffered a recurrence of an Achilles' tendon problem by ``pushing too hard'' when practicing starts on Aug. 16. His right ankle bears the brunt of the push from the starting blocks.
Liu said he had run a time of 12.90 seconds in practice two weeks ago -- the world record is 12.87 seconds. Attempting to run yesterday might have caused lasting damage, he said.
``If I tried to pull through, my Achilles' tendon would . . .'' he said. ``I really couldn't make it, as much as I wanted to. I couldn't describe my feelings at that moment. Do I really want to pull out of the first heat of the games? But that's the way it is.''
Most articles reporting on the injury mention the great mental stress Liu endured, from the nation's expectations. As I see it, the potential scenarios were:
a. Exactly as the official story claimed. Liu Xiang was in peak condition, but by sheer bad timing, his Achilles heel injury flared up at the last minute.
b. His injury was aggravated by the pressure. Had he not been so stressed, he would've recovered in time to race, or the injury might not have flared up at all.
c. His injury was not bad enough to cause withdrawal, but it reduced his chances of winning. Rather than face a heightened prospect of losing, he withdrew instead.
d. He wasn't injured at all. He cracked under the pressure and concocted a story about the injury.
After watching the interview with Liu Xiang and his coach, I don't think (d) is possible. The international media is presenting (a) but Beijing cab drivers seem to think it's (c).
If you have an analysis, post a comment! Unless your view on the Olympics is similar to my friend Dan.
Me: "What do you think of this Phelps legendary streak? It is pretty impressive!"
Dan: "I hear there's some athlete winning some medals, is that what you're talking about? :)"
George W Bush enjoying the .. Olympics
This morning, Bush observed the women's volleyball Olympics match. I am amused by this photo.
photos of duck, and an unknown celebrity
On the flight from the US to Beijing, one of my fellow passengers wore a black velvet suit, and a hat with a shiny band. It was the most attention-grabbing outfit I'd ever seen on an airplane passenger.
In the arrivals lobby, he and his friend were mobbed by a crowd of Chinese girls who clamored for autographs. The two of them stood sullenly, pressed against the elevators by the crowd. They said only a few words, in between jabbing the elevator call button.
I asked a passing airplane attendant who it was. She said he is "Bo Bo". Who is that? Nobody knows.
My friend Xian said, "Nowadays you can pay people to act like your fan. They'll greet you at the airport with a big sign, 'I LOVE YOU'. It just costs a few hundred chinese yuan per fan. This guy can't be a celebrity, or he wouldn't be wearing a shiny hat. Instead he'd be wearing a baseball cap, pulled low."
View from my desk in the Google Beijing office. I'm working from the office during most of my stay here.
Looking out any window, the eye meets a sea of 30-story buildings. At first I found this very isolating. Any of us could jump out the window, and it would make barely an iota of difference in this dense city.
View from a different window.
Chinese people share my liking for pigs. Our family friend has stickers of pigs in her kitchen, for no good reason.
Sha-mayn took me and other friends to a secluded duck restaurant. This is the bar outside the restaurant.
The restaurant itself. I like this architecture with the wooden ceiling and the skylight.
The waiter carving the duck for the table next to us, with the elegant woman.
Condiments for the duck. I've eaten duck at half my meals here.
A waitress waiting during a lull. I thought this looked very old-world.
pressure can make diamonds ... how about gold?
China is fixated on getting gold medals in the Olympics.
The culture has always emphasized perfection. If it's not gold, it's worthless. If you're not #1, then you must be crap. My cousin's teacher once called in his parents to discuss his inadequate performance on an exam. After a long lecture, my relatives asked with fear, "What exactly did he get on the test?" The teacher's answer: 96 out of 100.
I made this visual demonstration of how it pertains to the Olympics. This is how you or I would respond to a silver medal:
Now let's look at it from the eyes of China.
The pressure is negatively affecting some of the athletes:
To learn how their athletes would handle the pressure of competing at home in the Olympics, Chinese sports officials conducted an experiment earlier this year: They invited athletes' parents to watch a gymnastics meet.
Most of the gymnasts, who have lived at their training center since they were young children, had never competed in front of their loved ones. Some could not cope.
'During the competition, some athletes didn't feel very good and even fell down from the balance beam.'
This morning, my cab driver and I had a discussion about this. In particular, we talked about Liu Xiang, the Chinese hurdler who won gold in Athens 2004, and who is representing China in hurdles this time too.
Liu Xiang is on billboards everywhere in Beijing, and his name is often associated with phrases like "the hopes of a nation ride on his shoulders". Or "1.4 billion people are rooting for him to win gold".
In a poll of Chinese citizens, staging a successful Olympics ranked fourth; watching Liu Xiang win gold ranked first (link).
Maybe Liu Xiang will be able to match the sky-high expectations, the way that J.K. Rowling did for the seventh book of Harry Potter. But I can't imagine the terror of those 12.86 seconds, after these months of buildup.
My dad told me once that computer programmers are not suited for sports competitions or artistic performances. "Those require precision on the day of the performance," he said. "You can't go in with the mindset of 'A mistake is fine. I'll just recompile. I'll get it right on the third try.'"
The cab driver this morning was even-keeled about the pressure on the athletes. "If I were the media," he said, "I would remind people that Liu Xiang has serious competition. If he doesn't win gold, it's not unusual. And whether he wins gold, silver, bronze, or nothing, he's put China on the map for track and field, and we should support him."
I like the sentiment quite a lot, but I don't think it would work as well for marketing.
I can't imagine a big China Mobile ad that says, "The hopes of a nation lie with him ... whether he wins gold, silver, bronze, or nothing."
it was Dan's description which won me over
Two months ago, I wrote a post about deciding between two beds, which I labeled A and B.
Out of 40 replies on my blog and FriendFeed, three voted for A and the rest for B. Responses included:
*B*B*B*
Dan: "B displays strength and grace with good proportion. A is a napkin doodle, a napkin doodle made by somebody trapped in a loveless marriage."
I say BBBBBBB!
I was momentarily swayed by the extreme nature of the votes, but in the end, I decided to get A. It arrived last month, and I finally had time to put it together a week ago.
Here it is in my guest bedroom. I think it looks lovely.
the most dangerous number?
Eating brunch with my brother.
Me: "Last week I met a Googler who used to be an astronaut. He lived on the space station for six months."
Tom: "Wow, that's cool."
Me: "The space station is designed to house five people, though there were only two when he lived there."
Tom: "Did the two people speak the same language?"
Me: "Ha ha. I hope so."
Tom: "What would happen if they didn't get along?"
Me: "I assume NASA selects for people that will get along with anyone. Though, I was wondering what the most dangerous number of occupants would be. If there's only one person, they'll certainly go crazy from the loneliness. If there's two people, they might get into a fight and chase each other, knocking over equipment. If there's three, two of them might form an alliance, and the third person would feel left out."
Tom: "Two is the worst. What if they hate each other? They can't just draw a line down the middle of the space station."
Tom: "They'll make a line of potato chips in zero-gravity. It'll be really obvious if someone crosses the line."
Tom's Olympic forecast
Over brunch at Coupa Cafe, a few hours before I fly to Beijing for the Olympics.
Tom: "China is going all out for the medals this time. They have the home advantage."
Me: "I'm looking forward to watching ping pong. Odin predicted the finals will be China vs. China."
Tom: "No, not necessarily. It could be China vs. an American-born Chinese."
okay, i'll buy travel insurance beforehand
While eating guacamole and chips at a Mexican restaurant:
Me: "The Antarctica tour company cancelled all their 2009 trips. They realized that they can't fix up their new boat in time."
Tom: "They missed their ship date."
Me: "Ha ha. Anyway, it takes a lot of renovations to prepare the boat for Antarctic conditions. Their old boat, the MS Explorer, sank last November."
Tom: "Are you sure it's safe? Think about it -- they bought the new boat with the money they had left over from the first boat."
gratitude experiment, part 2.
[This is a continuation of my gratitude experiment.]
There is a Googler named Mike who is brilliant and ridiculous. (Some of you may already be able to guess who it is, by this description alone.) He was one of my Google interviewers, and I was floored that he not only invented a compression algorithm that I'd used for years, but was also uninhibited enough to impersonate a happy puppy during the interview.
Every time I talked to him, Mike did something ridiculous. He inhaled the helium from my happy-face Noogler balloons (a gift from Google to each new employee) and talked in a squeaky voice. He made lamb noises on a street corner when a bunch of us went to a restaurant. Once when I was in his office, he showed me a can of putty which made disgusting noises as he pressed his fingers into it. He described with relish how he and his officemate used it to embarrass people while they talked on the phone.
I usually gave killjoy responses like "Oh my God, that's absurd", but secretly I really liked the silliness.
Summer of 2004 rolled around, and I went through a difficult time. A member of my family was hospitalized, and I didn't know if they would ever recover. To add insult to injury, the insurance company was reluctant to pay for treatment. I had to petition hard to convince them each step of the way. Furthermore, the patient was angry at the way we were handling the situation, and arguments broke out amongst the rest of the family as a result. My brother and I went through the only major fight of our lives, going nearly a week without speaking to each other.
My team at work was also shipping Desktop Search. Suffice it to say that I was not very relaxed at that time.
One day during this period, Mike came over to my work area to visit. We walked around the floor to the microkitchen. He asked how I was, and for some reason, I told him the unpleasant truth without whitewashing.
Previous times I discussed the situation with others were often not comfortable. People would first assume that it was cancer, and pat my arm sympathetically as they described how their aunt battled breast cancer and beat the odds. After I corrected them on the illness and described the ugly details, we would veer off the scripts of social custom. People didn't know what to say, and sometimes this made them very uncomfortable.
That did not happen with Mike. He listened to my tale, throughout my emotional retelling. I was grateful just for that.
Then he brainstormed ideas. He suggested potential solutions in California, in Nevada, in other states. He named people around the company who might be able to help, some who had similar experiences, some who I barely knew. He said I should go ask Eric Schmidt for help. I said it was preposterous to ask our CEO about a family medical issue, and how would Eric help anyway? He said it was not preposterous.
It was in fact preposterous, but it was also very kind. Mike treated the problem as though it were his own. At one point, I made a lighthearted comment on a different subject to give him an "easy out" in the conversation. He ignored me, and kept on proposing solutions. When he ran out of ideas, he looked at me, and said with sincerity, "I don't know what else to suggest. What are we going to do?"
That meant so much to me. One pain I've found in discussing miserable problems with others is that moment of goodbye when they go back to their lives and I go back to mine. Sometimes relief shows in their eyes -- relief that they're not the one dealing with the ordeal. That's understandable and human, but it becomes all the more valuable when someone chooses to take on the problem with you, even if only for a moment.
So, thank you Mike. I never properly thanked you, and you're not the maudlin sort, so this will have to do.
avatar humor
At lunch with a few teammates and a Googler "Andre". Andre and I sat at the Google table last year during an industry event, and we've talked a few times since then.
Andre: [long-range ideas for my project]
Me: "These are good ideas. So you used the product then?"
Andre: "Don't you remember, I sent you a picture of my avatar?"
Me: "When?"
Andre: "On the day you launched."
Me: "We talked on my launch day?"
Andre: "Yeah, I sent you an IM. I was surprised you responded."
Me: "I'm surprised too."
Andre: "I sent you a picture of this tall, handsome avatar, and I said, 'I'm picking this guy because he looks like a stud."
Me: "I don't remember this."
Andre: "I was hoping you'd say 'That's good, because you are a stud."
Me: "What did I actually say?"
Andre: "You said, 'That's good, because our product motto is 'Be who you want.''"
this problem should be solveable with a simple web site
Today Google News has a spate of these stupid headlines:
Math scores for girls and boys no different, study finds:
The analysis of standardized test results for more than 7.2 million students in grades 2 through 11 contradicts a pervasive gender stereotype.
The mere fact that this stereotype exists in the US and not in China should reveal its baselessness. Chinese people assume girls and boys will do equally well in math classes.
However, Chinese people have their own sexist perspectives. I've been asked so many times by women in China, "I really like computer science, but should I switch careers because women become mentally much slower after age 35?"
I say, "Where the hell did you hear that from?"
They say, "Everyone agrees it's true. Men continue to function well mentally, but women really deteriorate at 35."
Me: "No, not everyone agrees. I do not agree. No one in America has ever said this to me."
We need to compile a list of the stereotypes in the world. Every time one of them exists only in specific countries, and there are no genetic traits that would clearly cause it, the stereotype should immediately be debunked.
pigsong
Last Thursday, I met a woman who used to own a pot-bellied pig as a pet. Her name was "Judy" (changed for privacy), and the pig's name was Napoleon.
Judy said Napoleon was very loving. He came trotting to the door when she came home. He sang little oinking songs to her throughout the day. He insisted on sleeping next to her at night. He did tricks like rolling over. She fed him yogurt as a reward, and he licked it off the spoon.
Judy did an impersonation of one of Napoleon's oinking songs. It was cute.
Sadly, she lost Napoleon due to a custody situation.
As a result of talking to her, I did more research about pot-bellied pigs. This wikipedia quote is concerning:
Unfortunately, pigs do not like to be held or "cuddled," as dogs, cats or other domesticated predators do. ... Attempts by humans at lifting or hugging are always interpreted by the pig as hostile and result in struggling and squealing. The one time pigs, by instinct, will welcome close contact is to huddle while sleeping, an instinct which conserves body heat and provides protection.
But at least the pig likes to be held when sleeping. That is important.
This could be me!
Talking with my friend, a Googler.
Me: "I emailed the [Google-internal] mailing list 'pet-owners' about raising a pig, and -- "
Friend: "What? You're so absurd."
Me: " -- and no one owns a pig."
Friend: "Maybe there's a special mailing list 'pig-owners'."
i'll recreate encountering Gates McFadden in the G...
not the first time someone got fired because of St...
this problem should be solveable with a simple web...


Play virus-free Mortimer Beckett and the Time Paradox game, download Free Version here!
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Home>News & Events>Press Releases>C-Path>C-Path Selects Global Regulatory Affairs Leader as New President and CEO
March 21, 2019 PRINT PDF
C-Path Selects Global Regulatory Affairs Leader as New President and CEO
TUCSON, Ariz., March 21, 2019 — After a worldwide search, the Critical Path Institute (C-Path) today announced it has appointed Joseph Scheeren, Pharm. D., as its new President and Chief Executive Officer. Scheeren previously served as Senior Advisor Research and Development for Bayer AG and has had a distinguished 36-year career in the pharmaceutical industry having held positions domestically and internationally in drug development and regulatory approval on three continents.
"Dr. Scheeren exemplifies the in-depth knowledge and inspiring leadership that C-Path, and every organization we collaborate with, deserve in a chief executive officer," said C-Path Board Chairman Timothy R. Franson, M.D. "His global experience with drug development and the regulatory process is evidenced by a long list of first cycle approvals for new therapies and we couldn't be more thrilled to welcome him to C-Path."
Scheeren joined Bayer Pharmaceuticals as Senior Vice President, Head of Global Regulatory Affairs, in 2004, responsible for development in the US and in 2009 became Site Head US in Montville, NJ. In 2012, he assumed the position of Head of Global Development Asia in Beijing and in 2015, was appointed Head of Global Regulatory Affairs Pharma and Consumer Care of Bayer Healthcare, Basel, Switzerland. In January 2018, he was appointed Senior Advisor R&D, Bayer AG. Scheeren's experience with global regulatory affairs will help C-Path expand its mission worldwide.
"C-Path and its partners define the type of innovation and solutions that healthcare needs now and into the future to provide patients hope and access to new treatments and cures by accelerating innovation in the development and approval pathway," Scheeren said. "I am committed to continuing C-Path's success by making new science happen through collaborations and continuing to be a change agent in healthcare."
Scheeren succeeds C-Path President and CEO Martha Brumfield, Ph.D., who has led the organization since 2013 and is initiating a phased retirement. Under Brumfield's leadership, C-Path's funding and staff have doubled, the organization has established a Data Collaboration Center and a center of excellence in quantitative medicine, plus expanded its profile in Europe. Brumfield will serve as a special advisor to Scheeren for six months and will oversee select projects already in progress to ensure a seamless transition.
"C-Path has had outstanding growth since its founding in 2005, when it responded to the call of the FDA's Critical Path Initiative program," Brumfield said. "We are confident that this transition under Dr. Scheeren's leadership will mark yet another key milestone toward our future success. I look forward to supporting him in the coming months."
Scheeren has an established network of connections across the globe and holds many memberships and designations. He serves on the advisory boards at the Center for Innovation in Regulatory Science, the Center of Regulatory Excellence Singapore, the Research & Development-based Pharmaceutical Association in China, and the China Core Research and Development Committee. He is currently serving as Board chair of the Drug Information Association (DIA) and has served as Chairman of the DIA Regional Advisory Council for Europe, the Middle East and Africa; he is also a foreign member of the Academie Nationale de Pharmacie, France, a lecturer at Yale University and an adjunct Professor at Peking University.
His start date is April 15, 2019 and he and his family will be living in Tucson, Arizona.
About C-Path:
C-Path (Critical Path Institute) is an independent, nonprofit organization established in 2005 as a public and private partnership. C-Path's mission is to catalyze the development of new approaches that advance medical innovation and regulatory science, accelerating the path to a healthier world. An international leader in forming collaborations, C-Path has established numerous global consortia that currently include over 1,500 scientists from government and regulatory agencies, academia, patient organizations, disease foundations, and dozens of pharmaceutical and biotech companies. C-Path is headquartered in Tucson, Arizona, with additional staff in multiple remote locations. For more information, visit www.c-path.org.
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It's This or Murder...: Neutrogena Rapid Dark Circle Repair: It Means Business!
Neutrogena Rapid Dark Circle Repair: It Means Business!
Neutrogena always seems to come up with some new and interesting products, and I was overjoyed to be chosen by Crowdtap as a member of the Neutrogena Rewards group to try one. Especially since on any given day, the dark circles around my eyes make racoons envious.
And yes, that's really what it looks like. The applicator is a very soft brush, and you sort of paint it on.
Here's me before. Pardon the odd camera angle, but I wanted for you all to get a good view of my ghoul look. You can see that the dark circles go WAY down.
The Dark Circle Repair seemed to reflect back light and diminish the dark circles, even on the first day. With each additional day, they faded a bit more. The effect lasted even after I skipped a day, which I think is pretty cool. It absorbs quickly, so it's easy to add to my normal routine...seriously, it was on, and bam, it was all set. Other than a feeling of tightness, which I think was part of the deal, there was no irritation, and in fact, it felt cool and comforting going on. The brush is very soft, and doesn't tug on the skin around my eyes.
It feels good, it's an easy add to your routine, and it works...I say go for it!
I'm a member of the Crowdtap Neutrogena rewards program, and Neutrogena sent me a sample of its Rapid Dark Circle Repair eye cream to review.


Billy and his friends are playing near the local railway track. They notice some bigger children nearby throwing sticks and large stones onto the track and laughing and shouting about it. Billy and his friends know this is very dangerous but they are worried about going up and confronting the older children. What can they do?
Have you got the Network Rail Safety Reps pack? Contact us for more details.


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Spoiler Alert: Stranger Things have happened
Show catches public's attention
Image created by Rachael Kaiser
Rachael Kaiser, Asst. Editor-in-Chief
As a homage to 1980s sci-fi films, Netflix Original Series Stranger Things pays tribute to the movies that inspired the creation of the show. Among the recent TV shows and movies, Stranger Things shines stronger than most because of the excellent character development and the complex plot interwoven with suspense and horror.
The show was released on July 15, with the first season consisting of seven episodes. Due to a strong positive reaction, Stranger Things has been renewed for a second season which is set to be released in 2017.
In the beginning of the first episode an alien-like creature, reminiscent of the of the creature from Alien, breaks out of a government laboratory and kidnaps a 12 year old science geek named Will Byers.
Will's disappearance goes unnoticed until the next morning when his mother, Joyce Byers, realizes he is missing. After checking in at his friend's house, a panicked Joyce files a missing persons report at the police station.
She talks to police Chief Jim Hopper, who is unconcerned at the disappearance of Will. A part of the conversation between the two would become the show's plot description.
"Joyce, 99 out of 100 times a kid goes missing, the kid is with a parent or relative," said Hopper.
"What about the other time?" said Joyce.
As the show progresses, his friends discover that Will is not with a parent or relative; his disappearance is the "other time". The characters then spend their time attempting to find Will, and in the process they uncover the truth behind the creature's existence and the government's involvement in the alien and Will's disappearance.
The inspiration from sci-fi and horror movies of the 1980s creates a nostalgic throwback to that time period. There are scenes that are reminiscent of movies such as E. T. and The Goonies.
Those who love sci-fi and the supernatural will certainly like Stranger Things. The show is not a passing fad; it is here to stay and fill the nostalgia audiences crave for another season.
Rachael is a senior. She likes to collect records, read, and work on the newspaper. One of her hobbies is going to antique stores with her mom.
"A life...
Jazz and Pep bands look to continue legacy
Senior finds Hocus Pocus 2 falling short of original
Popular show moves forward with new name and cast members
Students form jazz band and begin performances at One North
Instagram's Bad Parking Mounties grows followers
Travis Scott cancelled after shocking tragedy
Let the show begin
Mountie Nation Station engages students through weekly shows
Netflix's 'Squid Game' sparks interests in young adults


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East Belfast
Belfast PSNI in drink drive warning after car smashes into lights
The driver was 'more than twice the legal limit' police said
(Image: PSNI)
Police in East Belfast have issued a warning to drink drivers after a car smashed into a set of traffic lights.
Sharing the photo on social media, police said that the driver was 'more than twice the legal limit'.
They said: "This person decided to have a few drinks and then drive their car. After a number of reports to police of near misses this person ended up stopped at these traffic lights. By spinning off the road and crashing into them.
PSNI hits out at people warning about checkpoints on social media
"They were more than twice the legal limit.
"That could have been a family crossing the road. It could have been a mother pushing a pram or a grandparent walking a dog. Never ever drink and drive.
"If you think you are not fit to drive don't risk it. "Don't ruin Christmas for your own family or someone else's."
PSNI


I'm linking up with two of my favorite bloggers, Sarah and Victoria, for their "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" linkup! Today's topic is Christmas Wish List, which is being hosted by one of my other favorite bloggers!
This acrylic nail polish organizer would be perfect for corralling all of my nail polish.
I have a little bit of a walk to the office each morning, and a cozy hat helps keep my ears warm -- I have a little white one, and larger one, but this black one would be the perfect in-between hat.
This Vineyard Vines quilted pullover is the perfect layer to pull on with jeans and a tee on a Saturday.
Andy got me these Kate Spade diamond studs in light pink for Valentine's Day and I'd love to add the crystal clear pair to my collection for everyday wear.
A new popcorn popper is at the top of my list since our other one is such a pain to clean!
This little clutch would be such a great date-night accessory for when I just want to bring my ID, phone, and a lipgloss.
I'd love to use an Apple watch to track my activity levels at the gym and while running the trails.
I've got my eye on this Madewell tote as an everyday bag for work -- I just need something to carry my lunch, wallet, and keys each morning.
I've heard great things about this cuticle product and I'd love to try it out as part of my at-home manicure routine.
I have these pajama pants in two other colors and they are my very favorite -- I'd love to add this Christmas-y pair to my collection!
This illustrated version of my favorite movie looks so cute and reading it is a tradition I'd love to start when we have kids!
Do you like to choose your gifts or be surprised?


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Tennessee Flooding Leaves At Least 22 Dead; 13 Still Missing
By Robin Dich
Search and rescue crews are still looking for 13 people after the devastating flooding.
Search and rescue crews are still looking for 13 people after the devastating flooding in Middle Tennessee over the weekend.
So far there have been at least 22 deaths, many of them children.
7-month-old twin babies were swept away, their parents told Newsy's sister station in Nashville it happened so quickly. Two older siblings in the family did survive.
The city of Waverly was hit the hardest. Many are now left with nothing after their homes were swept away.


Spicy Ranch Chicken is healthy, has only three ingredients, and is made in the slow cooker – perfect!
We closed on our new house! yayayayay So, we've been spending a lot of time browsing hardware stores and furniture shopping (do you have a couch you love, btw? I'd love a recommendation!). My kitchen is finally going to have more than one drawer. I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself.
I actually made this recipe a couple weeks ago but because of aforementioned (big word of the day) house business, I'm just getting around to posting it. If you need a healthy, easy, slow cooker dinner, this is perfect.
When I was at the grocery store, I saw that Hidden Valley makes a spicy ranch packet. I've cooked with the regular ones before, but I was excited to try the spicy version. This isn't overly spicy, so it'll be fine for the kids (I think), but it gives the chicken a nice kick. I paired it with sweet potato fries and some broccoli (which we basically eat every night now because it's Baby Girl's favorite).
Trim your chicken breasts and sprinkle both sides with salt and pepper.
In the pot of your slow cooker, add in one cup of chicken stock.
Sprinkle half of the the packet of spicy ranch dressing onto one side of the chicken, then lay the chicken seasoned side down into the slow cooker.
Sprinkle the remaining ranch mix over the chicken.
Cover and cook on high for 3.5 - 5 hours.


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Home > Student Scholarship > ETD > 915
The Perception of Female Leadership: Impact of Gender and Leader's Qualification on Leader's Effectiveness
Ala'a Fahad Al-shakha, University of North FloridaFollow
Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership (EdD)
Leadership, School Counseling & Sport Management
University of North Florida. Department of Leadership, School Counseling & Sports Management
Dr. Amanda Pascale
Dr. David Hoppey
Dr. Liz Gregg
Dr. Diane Yendol-Hoppey
This study examined how gender and years of working with a female leader influence the gendered perception of female leadership effectiveness in Saudi Arabian higher education institutions. This study compared male and female leaders' perception of female leadership effectiveness as well as highlighted the relationship between leader's gender, experience working with a female leader and perceived female leadership effectiveness. To answer the research questions, four hypothesized models were proposed (simple direct model, mediation model, moderation model, and mediation moderation model). Data was collected from administrated leaders, who hold a position in five public universes located in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia with approximately 554 male and female leaders. T. test and path analysis were conducted to test the hypothesized models. The results of path analysis indicated that the mediation model was the best fit model of the four hypothesized models. One significant path was identified between gender and perceived female leadership effectiveness in mediation moderation model, the worst model of the four hypothesized models. Also, a discussion of the key findings, the study limitations, and the suggested future areas of research were discussed.
Al-shakha, Ala'a Fahad, "The Perception of Female Leadership: Impact of Gender and Leader's Qualification on Leader's Effectiveness" (2019). UNF Graduate Theses and Dissertations. 915.
https://digitalcommons.unf.edu/etd/915
Educational Administration and Supervision Commons, Educational Leadership Commons, Higher Education Commons


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Schooling at the Liminal: Black Girls and Special Education
22Nov 2016 23 Nov 2017
Venus E. Evans-Winters, Associate Professor of Education at Illinois State University in the department of Educational Administration & Foundations and faculty affiliate in Women & Gender Studies and Ethnic Studies, shares narratives revealing how Black girls from lower-income and working class families may be at higher risk of being identified as learning disabled and/or as having a behavioral or emotional disability compared to their middle class and White peers.
liminality (lim-uh-nal-i-tee)
–noun Anthropology.
the transitional period or phase of a rite of passage, during which the participant lacks social status or rank, remains anonymous, shows obedience and humility, and follows prescribed forms of conduct, dress, etc.
<Latin līmin- (stem of līmen) threshold + -al1+ -ity (Dictionary.com, 2016)
Public schools are more racially and economically segregated than they were prior to the Brown v. Board of Education decision, and the majority of Black and Latino students attend predominantly minority schools, whereas the majority of White students are segregated in majority White schools (Orfield et al., 2012). With this knowledge in mind, public education in the U.S. is confronted with the following dilemmas: (a) the teaching profession has inherited in-service and pre-service teachers who have little experience teaching with racial/ethnic minority students; and (b) most of these teachers hold limited and distorted images of people of color, because (c) they have lived very racially isolated and monocultural existences.
Cultural illiteracy and societal stereotypes of racial/ethnic minority children may influence teachers' decisions on who to refer to special education. As indicated below, Black children and children from other minority groups are overrepresented (U.S. Commission on Civil Rights (UCR), 2007). Yet, research suggests that Black children and other minority children are least likely to be referred for gifted education (Ford, 2013a/c). For example, from 1998 to 2007, only 4% of all 6- to 21-year-olds were identified as having a specific learning disability; 7% of American Indians/Alaska Natives in this age group had this type of disability, compared with 5% of Blacks and Hispanics, 3% of Whites, and 2% of Asians/Pacific Islanders (NCES, 2010).
Furthermore, 2% of Black 6- to 21-year-olds were identified as having mental retardation, while 1% or less of 6- to 21-year olds in other racial/ethnic groups had this disability (NCES, 2010). Conversely, the underrepresentation of Black students in gifted education is a national inequity issue present in most school districts. The Civil Rights Data Collection (CRDC, 2012) report suggests that Black students have been underrepresented in gifted programs by almost 50% (Ford, 2013b). There is a "race problem" in the special education system (Beratan, 2008; Blanchett, 2006; Harry & Klingner, 2006). Here it is appropriate to ask: Is there a race and gender problem in the special education identification, referral, and placement process?
Even though girls may be under referred for special education and underrepresented in special education programs for students with disabilities (Oswald, 2003; Arms, Bicket & Graf, 2008), little is known about Black girls' experiences within the special education system. Unfortunately, little research speaks to the intersection of race and gender in the special education referral and placement process. Without an intersectional perspective Black girls may be at risk of being over referred for special education services or misidentified as having a specific disability (i.e., a learning disability, emotional or behavioral disability, and/or mental retardation).
An analysis that centers race, gender, and class in special education discourse is important because girls of African descent experience racism, sexism, and classism simultaneously in schooling (Evans-Winters, 2011). Drawing from a Critical Race Theory (CRT) and CRT in education framework, it is postulated that racism and race-based gender discrimination are normal and deeply entrenched in the U.S. schooling system (Solorzano & Yosso, 2000). Consequently, racism and class bias inevitably affects who is referred and identified as in need of special education placement.
Critical Race Feminism in Education
Critical race theory (CRT) and critical race feminism are used to demonstrate that Whiteness and class bias tend to put teachers at-risk of over-identifying and/or overlooking Black girls in need of adequate gender and culturally-responsive special education services. Similarly, critical race feminism (CRF) is utilized to show how the intersections of race, class, and gender leave Black girls invisible, and simultaneously, hypervisible in classrooms. For nearly two decades, educational scholars have emphasized the utility of critical race theory's application to education theory, policy, and praxis (Ladson-Billings & Tate,1995; Howard, 2010; Lynn & Dixson, 2013). CRT has four tenets that have been purported to inform education:
CRT unequivocally claims that race and racism are central, endemic, permanent and fundamental in defining and explaining how U.S. society functions;
CRT challenges dominant ideologies and claims of race neutrality, objectivity, meritocracy, color-blindness and equal opportunity;
the principles of CRT are activist in nature and propagates a commitment to social justice;
CRT centers the experiences and voices of the marginalized and oppressed; and (Billings & Tate, 1995; Delgado Bernal, 2002; Delgado & Stefancic, 2000; Solorzano & Yosso, 2000).
Critical race theory in education unequivocally posits that racism is deeply embedded in education practices, policies, and curriculum. In acknowledging that racism is a reality in U.S. schooling, CRT scholars challenge the innocence of teachers and school practices that claim to "not see color". In truth, CRT as a methodology boldly centers race at the center of analysis to give voice to the interpretations, insights, and lived experiences of the oppressed and marginalized in schools and educational contexts. Based on these shared stories, CRT scholars in education suggest theory, policies and practices that serve to challenge White supremacy and foster school resilience.
Of importance to this article and the topic of special education, is that CRT in education draws from sociology, legal theory, cultural studies, psychology and other social sciences. In this article, it is unabashedly proclaimed that taking an interdisciplinary approach is of import at a time when educational thought is too often ahistorical (i.e. based on White middle class and male experiences), monocultural (i.e. based on the values, beliefs, norms, etc. of White middle class culture) and atheoretical (i.e. either absent of theory and/or embedded in Eurocentric Western perspectives of reality). In agreement with Bell (1995) and CRT, most educational theory inevitably "secure, advance, or at least not harm" (p. 22) the state of affairs for Whites people. Critical race theory in special education and intersectional frameworks challenges the security, advancement, and comfortability of Whiteness in the special education referral and identification process. The subsequent section of this paper presents an outline of the tenets of critical race feminism as an extension of critical race theory. Critical race feminism in education is the most useful framework for understanding the experiences of Black girls in schools.
Critical race feminism (CRF) is used in an analysis of special education and Black girl students to examine the complex and subtle gendered, racialized, and classed exchanges occurring in schools. To begin with, CRF focuses on the lives of women of color. Black girls and women confront multiple forms of discrimination, due to the intersections of race, class, and gender within a system of male patriarchy and White racial domination. Furthermore, CRF advocates for theories and practices that simultaneously study and combat gender and racial oppression (Austin, 1989; Crenshaw 1995; Wing 2003).
As articulated by Crenshaw (1995), "Because women of color experience racism in ways not always the same as experienced by men of color and sexism in ways not always paralleled to experiences of White women, antiracism and feminism are limited, even on their own terms," (p. 360). In teacher professional development there is a need for theoretical frameworks that recognize Black women's and girls' ways of knowing to inform educational thought and practices. Critical race feminism takes an unapologetic examination of the intersection of race, class and gender in the legal sphere and the broad experiences of women and girls of color. In this article, critical race feminism in education is introduced to special education as a framework and methodology.
CRF proclaims: women of color experiences are similar to, but different from, the experiences of men of color and those of White women; and women of color who face multiple forms of discrimination, due to the intersections of race, class, and gender within a system of White male patriarchy and racist oppression. Additionally, CRF presents the multiple identities and consciousness of women of color (i.e., anti-essentialist); thus, CRF serves to represent the multi-perspectives of women of color.
CRF in education (Evans-Winters & Esposito, 2010) maintains that female students of color's stories and narratives are essential to contextualize overt and covert acts of gender and racial aggression. Moreover, CRF calls for theories and practices that simultaneously study and combat gender and racial oppression in schools and society. CRF in education has the potential to inform research on the special education referral and placement process. CRF in education avers that Black girls' schooling experiences are unique from White girls and Black boys in educational contexts, because Black girls cope with and resist racism, sexism and classism in their families, school, and communities (Evans-Winters, 2011). The narratives below exemplify Black girls' perceptions of the role of race, class, and gender in the special education identification and referral process.
Qualitatively Speaking: A Note on Methodology
The narratives below are excerpts from a larger study with Black female undergraduate students attending a university in the Midwestern part of the U.S. The participants in the original study identified as African American or Black and were from diverse economical and geographical locations. The original 25 participants were randomly recruited from an empowerment program for Black women undergraduates. Eighteen were eventually interviewed for approximately 60 minutes. In the tradition of Black feminist qualitative research (Dillard, 2000; McClaurin, 2001; Evans-Winters & Love, 2015), interviews were followed up with informal conversations and observations of the participants in different contexts. Besides mentoring many participants, stories and information were gathered via interview notes, journal entries, poems, videos, and social media. Identifying information was changed to protect the anonymity of participants. The narratives of those young women who mentioned in their narratives that at some point in their academic careers they had a memorable experience related to the special education process are highlighted.
Having Our Say: Dominique's Story
Dominique is from a single-parent home, and raised by her mother, along with her three siblings. During her childhood, she lived and was schooled in low-income communities, including public housing. She discussed the challenges of moving around a lot as a child as well as having a volatile and inconsistent relationship with her biological father as a child. In the early school years, Dominique reportedly had all Black female teachers, but by middle school, she was moved to a charter school after her neighborhood school closed. "The school focused on math, technology, and college; and stuff like that," described Dominique.
At her charter school, there were only White female teachers. According to Dominique, it was at the new school when she began to experience problems at school. Dominique explained about her new school, "They always called me out in class for talking too much." Also, she suggested that most teachers commented on her behavior, such as "talking when I wasn't suppose to be talking" and insubordination. In her words, "They stayed calling my momma over stupid stuff." Dominique felt like this had more to do with her not fitting traditional White women notions of feminine behavior and looks. Below, Dominique explains how teachers perceived her aesthetics:
My mama was poor. She can't afford to keep gettin' me new clothes and stuff. Sometimes I did go to school dirty or smelly [laughing]. I think they didn't like me for that. They wanted me to talk White and stuff. They wanted me to be a good White girl. I wasn't raised like that. I'm Black. My mama taught me to say what I gotta say or shoo.
Dominique revealed that soon enough her grades dropped significantly and she became labeled as a problem student who was not interested in learning. "How I go from being an A student to a C, D, F student?", Dominique questioned aloud. In African American vernacular she proclaimed, "They said I was special, but I knew I was smart." In the first year at the charter school, she was suspended several times, before moving to a different neighborhood and switching schools. At the neighborhood school, with predominantly Black teachers, she recalled that she was not a "problem student", but she did feel less challenged academically. "It was more than just about math and science. We did more fun stuff. They cared about us and didn't play." At her new school, she became an A and B student again.
Having Our Say: Toni's Story
Toni attended private schools in middle and high school in the suburbs of a large city. Although the suburb where she lived was racially and economically mixed, the public school district and neighborhood where she resided were predominantly Black. In Toni's words, "Them teachers weren't ready for us. Nobody wanted us there; like we was bringing the school down." During the interview, Toni reminisced about not having Black teachers until she enrolled in college. I was the first Black professor she ever met. She recalls, "All the teachers were White. I've never had a Black teacher."
Being reared by her mother and father, Toni shared that she has always been confident in her academic abilities. "My mom and dad always preached to me and my little brothers that school was important, and for us to make something of ourselves." Toni was, and still is (in my opinion), a quiet and confident student. "I liked learning. I wasn't one of those students that learned easily, but I worked hard to get good grades." As a college student, she aspires to become a teacher. As she recalls, "around the fourth or fifth grade, they wanted to test me for special ed." However, Toni's father believed the teachers at her suburban school were racist and that was the reason they wanted to test her for special education.
Furthermore, Toni indicated that her father believed that the White teachers wanted to keep the classrooms segregated. He also believed, according to Toni, that the White teachers did not respect her culture; thus, they could not recognize her intelligence. It is worthwhile to mention that her father at that time was affiliated with a Black religious group known for its conservative Black national politics. Ironically, her father pulled her out of a public school and put her in all girls' private Catholic schools. In middle and high school, Toni was in the minority, but felt validated as a girl. "At St. Thomas, there was some racism but race was not a problem. There was only a few other Black kids and me. But, I liked that we was sent the message that girls can do anything." In Toni's case positive gender messages were as important in her student identity as racialized messages about students' self-worth.
Schooling at the Liminal
On the surface, it is not apparent how the excerpts above directly relate to exceptionality and special education. However, at second glance, coupled with an intersectional lens, it becomes more apparent that many academically resilient Black girls experience schooling at the liminal of gifted and learning dis(Abled). Meaning that many Black girls in U.S. public schools find themselves being schooled and labeled at the threshold as either high academic achievers or poor learners. Keeping in mind that the gifted education referral process and special education referral process have both been found to be very subjective, it is difficult for researchers and social justice educators to locate Black girls within gifted education or the special education discourse (Ford, 2013b).
However, it can be concluded that many Black girls, like the young women above, can go their entire academic careers not quite good enough for the label of gifted, yet, seemingly a perfect fit for the special education referral process. Elsewhere, the under identification of Black girls for gifted education placement is discussed (Evans-Winters, 2014); therefore, here attention is given to the potential of misidentification of Black girls in need of special education placement. Moreover, attention is given to the observation that it appears to be commonplace for high achieving Black girls at some point in their academic career to be referred for evaluation for special education placement. Because the Black girls' mentioned above were never actually placed in special education programs, this article will only address the potential for misidentification. This potential is what leaves many Black girls' experience with schooling at the liminal of high achieving and learning disabled.
A simple definition of liminal means "of, relating to, or situated at the limen" (dictionary.com, 2016). Limen refers to any place or point of entering or beginning, such as the beginning of middle school, high school, or adolescence. Ironically, both participants mentioned that special education discussions began as they were entering middle school and coming in contact for the first time with White teachers. Psychologically speaking, limen might also refer to the point at which a stimulus is of sufficient intensity to begin to produce an effect (e.g. a stimulus that causes pain or a stimulus that raises one's consciousness).
Borrowing this definition of liminal, it appears that the liminal space for many Black girls, like the Black girls referenced above: is the point between thinking of herself as a typical high-achieving student and the thought of herself being placed in a special education program. At that moment in which a teacher informs her that she is an "abnormal student," her identity as a student begins to shift, while simultaneously she begins to develop a consciousness of resistance.
For instance, Dominique's comment, "They said I was special, but I knew I was smart," is indicative of her being at that liminal space of thinking of herself as intelligent and capable of learning, but still cognizant of how White adult teachers viewed her as a student and human being. Dominique's statement reasserts her voice and subjectivity when she exclaims what she knows about herself, while rejecting others' interpretations of her student identity and humanity. I believe this interpretation of (re)claiming her humanity is important, for Dominique appeared to be aware of how White teachers evaluated her more on her social class status (e.g. her attire, single parent home, etc.) and gender aesthetics (e.g. how much she spoke, assertiveness, behavior, etc.) than her academic abilities.
Similarly, Toni's statements, "I liked learning. I wasn't one of those students that learned easily, but I worked hard to get good grades" and "around the fourth or fifth grade, they wanted to test me for special ed" are examples of Toni's attempts to make sense of that dark space between being confident of her ability to learn (as a determined student) and viewing herself from the perspective of the other as not the ideal learner. The idea of the "ideal learner" in the identification of special education referral is important, because as Toni mentioned in her above excerpt, "Them teachers weren't ready for us. Nobody wanted us there; like we was bringing the school down." Interestingly enough, Dominique, like Toni, questioned the innocence of the special education referral. The young women associated a special education screening or referral as a sign of racism as opposed to an objective assessment of a students' need for additional services (e.g. curriculum, instruction, etc.).
As outlined in the definition of liminal as a psychological (or physiological) concept, present is a stimulus and response. For Dominique and Toni, the stimulus in the shared stories is the teacher's referral for a special education evaluation and the response is them questioning the teacher's motives, not their own academic abilities or dispositions. Although it is not clear from their narratives whether an actual special education referral took place, the mere mention of a special education placement or learning disability threatened the girls' self concept as a student. For me, this observation of special education being a real or perceived threat to a Black girl's scholar identity (Ford, 2013a) is significant when looking at how experiencing schooling in the liminality of the special education process may actually place Black girls at-higher risk of psychological or physical withdrawal from school.
In Dominique's case, she admits that her behavior became more aggressive and non-compliant after the transfer to a new middle school. Of course, due to the myriad outside-of-school factors (i.e. school closings, family conflict, neighborhood violence, etc.) she faced, her change in behavior could be influenced by those outside-of-school factors as well as attitudes and practices in the school environment. In Toni's case, her parents first psychologically withdrew (i.e. as represented in their profoundly expressed distrust of the teachers at the school) their support of the school, and then eventually physically withdrew her from the neighborhood school and public school system altogether.
On the other hand, all stimuli do not cause a negative psychological response. Worth noting, for the purposes of this article, is that, for Dominique and Toni, being schooled in the liminality actually facilitated a critical consciousness about the realities of racial bias, gender discrimination, and classism in school contexts. Interestingly enough, in their mind, the impetus for them being labeled as in need of special education services was White teachers. For example, Dominique asserted, "They wanted me to talk White and stuff. They wanted me to be a good White girl. I wasn't raised like that. I'm Black. My mama taught me to say what I gotta say or shoo." Her words suggest that teachers expect students to conform to White middle class norms and expectations, and if students like her did not comply, they were labeled and potentially placed into special education. For Dominique, resisting Whiteness (Crenshaw, 1997) became a threat that could lead her into special education placement.
Similarly, Toni described that her parents consistently and audaciously asserted that "White teachers wanted to keep the classrooms segregated" and "White teachers did not respect her culture" or "recognize her intelligence". Thus, for some Black girls, schooling in the liminal is sparked by White teachers (the stimulus), which potentially can foster a critical consciousness (response) as well as skepticism about the schooling process (response). Oxymoronically, it appears that many Black girls are vulnerable in the special education identification and referral process, but many are also resilient and demonstrate forms of resistance (psychological and physical) to teacher's perceptions of their academic abilities. Toni's parents were protector factors in her schooling, and later, her girl-centered education as well; and both Dominique's mother and Black teachers acted as protective factors in her educational development. These protective factors helped both students to become educationally resilient.
Consequently, even though liminality in anthropological academic discourse (Turner, 1969 & Thomassen, 2009) refers to the transitional period of a rite of passage, during which the participant lacks social status or rank, remains anonymous, shows obedience and humility, and follows prescribed forms of conduct, dress, etc.; however, at second glance, it appears that many Black girls, like the two young women highlighted here, resist the liminality of what appears to be to them drenched in White people's perception of what a good student looks like and how she behaves. In short, until teacher preparation programs and teachers themselves confront racism, sexism and classism in schools and society many Black girls and their families will never cross the threshold into special education services, or even consider the possibilities of special education services.
This article began the discussion on the usefulness of intersectional frameworks for understanding the schooling experiences of Black female students. Critical race theory and critical race feminism allows for an analysis of the role that racism, sexism, and classism plays on teachers perceptions and interactions with Black girls. Based on the literature and the shared stories of high academic achieving young Black women, it is concluded that Black girls are at higher risk of being misidentified as in need of special education services and wallow in the liminal space of "potentially in need of special education placement" throughout their academic careers
Therefore, this article calls for more research on the experiences of Black girls with the special education referral process. At this time, not much is known about how Black girls are identified, referred, and experience special education (likewise gifted education) placement.
As indicated in the aforementioned study, there is a need for a more transparent gender and culturally-responsive referral special education process. Currently, it is difficult to identify potentially twice exceptional students, like the young women presented here, because they are simultaneously identified as high achievers and potentially dis(abled). Unfortunately, racism and classism in education leave many families and students distrustful of the intentions of teachers and school administrators. Also, most teachers lack the cultural competencies and cultural literacy to comprehend the stressors and supports that many Black girls draw upon to foster academic resilience (Evans-Winters, 2011).
Whiteness, White middle class values, and Eurocentric Western notions of femininity place Black girls at high-risk of being overly identified as in need of special education interventions, and under identified in referrals for gifted education (Evans-Winters, 2014). Intersectional theoretical frameworks in special education research, the referral process, and teaching practices can better help us meet the academic needs of all Black female students. In sum, intersectional frameworks and perspectives will help to unpack, expose, and actively resist Black girls continual schooling in the liminal space of potentially disabled.
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Symposium: Supporting Twice Exceptional African American Students
Tags: Multiculturalism and Inclusive Education, Special Education
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text:
Causes of puerperal and neonatal sepsis in resource-constrained settings and advocacy for an integrated community-based postnatal approach
Anne Miller, Chris Morgan, Joseph Vyankandondera
Epidemiology and Preventive Medicine Alfred Hospital
RM sElocation
Miller, A., Morgan, C., & Vyankandondera, J. (2013). Causes of puerperal and neonatal sepsis in resource-constrained settings and advocacy for an integrated community-based postnatal approach. International Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics, 123(1), 10 - 15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijgo.2013.06.006
Miller, Anne ; Morgan, Chris ; Vyankandondera, Joseph. / Causes of puerperal and neonatal sepsis in resource-constrained settings and advocacy for an integrated community-based postnatal approach. In: International Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics. 2013 ; Vol. 123, No. 1. pp. 10 - 15.
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Miller, A, Morgan, C & Vyankandondera, J 2013, 'Causes of puerperal and neonatal sepsis in resource-constrained settings and advocacy for an integrated community-based postnatal approach', International Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics, vol. 123, no. 1, pp. 10 - 15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijgo.2013.06.006
Causes of puerperal and neonatal sepsis in resource-constrained settings and advocacy for an integrated community-based postnatal approach. / Miller, Anne; Morgan, Chris; Vyankandondera, Joseph.
In: International Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics, Vol. 123, No. 1, 2013, p. 10 - 15.
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Miller A, Morgan C, Vyankandondera J. Causes of puerperal and neonatal sepsis in resource-constrained settings and advocacy for an integrated community-based postnatal approach. International Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics. 2013;123(1):10 - 15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijgo.2013.06.006