text:
#CATLOVER
* the cat is a girl. if he had said "go get help, girl,"...
* this cat is very wary being in the desert and everything where a lot of strange stuff goes down. the cat is not worried about Mad Max or Dragon Ball Z Kai, the cat is worried about Alf.
* they say if you're in quicksand, stop flailing your arms and remain perfectly still, you'll sink more slowly. so there you go. that's all the man had to do, he would have been fine. check back with him the next day, help should be there by then.
* this is actual footage of Indiana Jones early in his career leaked to the press by Indiana's mother. he should have eaten all his peas. Indiana has since stated in the papers that it would have been less embarrassing if his mother had splashed his baby pics showing his bare butt all over instagram.
* this ad was funded by the Lassie For President campaign. the campaign has really gotten ugly.
Posted by the late phoenix at 12:50 PM No comments:
NEW GROOVE
Codrus (from his ship): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
the kids wonder what's wrong. Codrus has a large white branching mark on the left side of his chest, where his heart is, it's a lightning bolt of extra veins on the outside, right on the muscle. it hurts like hell.
Mohd: what color is it? i can't tell from up here.
Angie: it looks white, or maybe it's gray. no it's definitely white. it's trying to be gray but it's white.
Stew: at least it's not red.
Codrus (panting): don't worry, kids, mommy's here, mommy's alright, a few seconds of pain or enduring another century of hardship? i can take it, i must be like LeBron, a body racked but a soul intact, wrecked but not rekt, i can make it, so close to our goals, just four more games, four more days. hey but y'know what, be dears and get me off this slab.
the worst of it seems to be over, there are no more large meteors pelting the earth, only small pebble aftershock asteroids. Manny has been looking down this whole time, checking his watch. the news spreads like wildfire in this internet age. soon all of the nations and world government have come together by the shore in a small but mighty contingent of dignitaries, CEOs, and other women of power headed by the President of China. the Pope shows a little leg and her famous red heels when she sits down on St. Peter's stone sofa offered by an altar boy who then fans her with his hand.
Manny: what's all the commotion?
he looks at his watch and sees all the channels are breaking-newsed onto his image.
Manny: i've seen the enemy and it is me.
the world: what are we gonna do? i mean, citizens, we know what to do, we've planned for such an occasion. um, so yeah, armies, all the armies, ATTACK THE MONSTER!
Manny: monster? me? you don't understand. i strike an impressive figure, i am 100 stories high but i have 100 stories in me, that's more important. oh the stories i could tell. let's sit down and converse our verses and joke about life, let's talk to each other for fuck sake. guns kill people, puns thrill people.
unfortunately nobody hears this peace pipe. there are so many planes buzzing around Manny's head, one plane for each country in the world, even the Vatican, especially the Vatican plane decked in diamonds on the nose with golden-cross wings and frosted stained-glass windshield. nobody also notices many drones flying to the scene, Codrus's fleet of drones taking off from nearby wherries near his mothership. it's the cameraed drones which broadcast this historic scene to the world, the wifi world at least.
Codrus's glint in his eye brightens over any pain he feels in his soul. he turns around his telescope which is more electronic than first suspected and points its camera at his image.
all the screens follow suit, the only thing on tv now is the shot of Codrus's looming mug.
Codrus: citizens, be not afraid. the revolution will be livestreamed. this is the turning point of history. are you tired of the old religions? they don't work, do they? i have discovered at the bottom of the ocean a tablet that will change how we humans see ourselves, god, and the universe. Moses wishes he had this tablet. inscribed on precious beige stone are new commandments. well, not commandments, actually, but really, the meaning of life itself explained in ten sentences. come with me, follow me to our new smart destiny. we are no longer the stars' puppets. the beast you see before you in the middle of the ocean is the Beast Himself, but he's no devil. he's an old, wrinkly demon with a hunchback of false history, a cane of Cain, unable to keep the weight of broken humanity in a rubble pile on his shoulders anymore. folks, Satan is officially over the hill, he's an old man. fear not ever again.
world contingent: hey what's with all these drones? it's disrupting our army battle signals, we can't fight to our fullest capacity and ability.
Codrus: the drones are good, you'll see. you can't get such a panoramic of the news without them.
fortunately Codrus's signal of his grand message does get cut off for a minute and in its stead appears before the world a still of a camera drone's recording of one monk by the name of Cotard sitting in his cheap car in the middle of Rio traffic in Brazil at a standstill in sweltering high-noon heat. his expression of utter disgust and boredom, combined with the oversize wood rosary he wears around his neck, is an online sensation, it instantly becomes the greatest meme to date, with stuff written under Cotard's expression like FUCK MY LIFE and FUCK THIS LIFE and PUNK MONK and CHILLIN'. it beats Bieber, Katy Perry, and Gaga combined in numbers.
A: your insta feed is great. so imaginative and out there. crazy images. inscrutable quotes. but before i go on with you, i have to ask, are you mentally ill?
B: that pic of an apple you posted is disgusting. you should delete yourself immediately and leave insta to the grownups. you've lost a follower. your life is a failure.
C: *smiley tongue*
D: that pic of an apple you posted is disgusting, you should delete yourself immediately and leave insta to the grownups. you've lost a follower. your life is a failure.
C: i've blocked you, D.
E: why would you join Bieber, Gaga, or Katy Perry now? i mean maybe five years ago when it meant something, but now you'd just be a number.
Cotard notices he is on the air live all across the world.
Cotard: well it's a distraction from this car anyway. oh no, not this guy again! Codrus, right? i hate this guy. guys, why do you follow him, he's obviously a hack, a fraud, and i say this not only as a monk. come on, life's not as easy as all that, take it from me, i'm about to embark on a journey i'm not sure i can come back from. it's gonna be sad, deeply deeply sad and morose and soulcrushing. i'm not sure i have the strength to survive it.
Cotard notices Kiss the kitten in her carryall in the backseat.
Cotard: i'll close with this: i'm not sure if it's all the altar wine i've been chugging but i swear i saw my kitten Kiss take the wheel and do some of the driving over here while i took a nap. anyway, take that as you will. i opened one eye and saw my kitten in the driver's seat, i sat there silent and dumbfounded just looking at this scene no one else but me was watching. there are still mysteries still.
the world: we can't defeat the monster with our earthen ways. bullets are just bullets, they never have any effect. we need a new power or we haven't a prayer.
Codrus: right on cue you're lucky you have me. i have the new energy in my heart, literally. i just have to focus it with the help of my children into the guns of this mothership. once the guns are fitted, i'll spew my payload onto that sea beast and into oblivion.
Manny: my name's Manny. and see, folks? he's using child labor, child soldiers. i mean come on.
Codrus: do not accept Satan's lies. just wait a minute, citizens, the show will continue momentarily after these messages and a word from your local sponsor. i have to change tactics, i can't ram the mothership into him, can't take Mr. Manny by sea, he would have the obvious advantage. the only way is airpower.
world: nope.
Codrus: oh yeah, well i can transform my mothership into a car. it's like the SeaDuck. this is what i'll do. see that mountain over there past the haboob and the pyramids and the sphinx? yeah, that one with the wraparound porch of a road up to the peak of it? i'll drive up there and charge the guns along the way. by the time i make it to the peak, it's like twenty minutes if there's no traffic, i can shoot the gun right at Manny with full power. i'm thinking a couple of tries should finish the job, two, three times.
the world is quiet in amazement as it witnesses this episode. nobody in the world works, everyone puts down their things, says nothing, and with mouths agape silently watches. Manny watches the mothership, too. you can hear a pin drop it's so quiet, the only noise is the chug-chug-chug of the mothership-makeshift-makeship-car sputtering up the mountain.
EVERYONE EVERYWHERE IS WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.
Codrus and crew actually take thirty minutes to get up there the first time, 22 minutes of actual driving, 8 minutes for bathroom breaks for the kids. Codrus shoots his energy gun at Manny. it hits Manny squarely on his square jaw.
Manny: that tickles.
twenty minutes later, skipping lunch, the mothercar makes it up again and shoots with a stronger force its laser of wonder.
it misses Manny.
the third time the vehicle is essentially an SUV mom minivan going to soccer practice with three unruly kids on board, the kids are thoroughly restless and complaining and red and so over this. Codrus takes a breather, takes a breath, makes sure his aim is true, closes one eye, and fires the cannon with all his might. the force is extreme, the yellow light which bounces into Manny is severe, so severe it doesn't bounce off Manny, it just stays within Manny. the poor giant is knocked off his impressive feet, knocked aback, taken aback literally, crashing his back onto the ocean surface creating more headaches for the world populace. a white circle of light forms around the impact zone of Manny's stomach, the white light glows into a glow globe as big as the Earth, staying there for a minute until it dissipates with Manny with it. Manny disappears into the light.
the world: okay so we have more tsunamis but at least that bright white light wasn't another meteor hit as we had first thought. do not go toward the light. hooray! all hail Codrus! Codrus defeated evil once and for all! Codrus for President!
the President of China is not amused. his hurried, stern face becomes a meme which beats McKayla Maroney's not-impressed face in numbers.
the President of China: citizens, please do not be alarmed with all the drones flying everywhere in your neighborhoods the world over. they are simply doing their jobs. you might receive your Amazon shit a little late today, unforeseen circumstances.
TMIT: COME WITH ME
housekeeping:
* so i am of the House of Porcupine as you can see up there, that's my heraldry, that's what everyone on that throne game show is playing for, that throne that looks like a porcupine's back, and the trip to Mexico.
* is that a shoe logo or a pot logo? i can't tell, i'm stoned. pot is now Registered y'know.
1. which of the following is your view of sex? a) ritual b) game c) performance d) adventure e) other:
Trouble with a capital T, the board game Trouble with that bubble. i love poppin' that bubble...
2. your view of spontaneous vs. planned sex? a) spontaneous better b) spontaneous is rushed, i prefer some time c) i like the anticipation before planned sex d) planning is a must, my life is such: whoever's reading this, this is serious, i need a vacation badly, i want to go to Paris with you for a coupla weeks like right now, let's go. we'll do it in the lobby.
3. at the beginning of sex, what is your most immediate worry? a) take too long b) over too soon c) you will be interrupted d) fail to please your partner otherwise known as partnerfail e) your partner will fail to please you also known as partnerfail f) pain g) discussion/argument: that there won't be enough butter.
4. at the beginning of sex, what happy result are you looking forward to most? a) orgasm b) emotional intimacy c) pleasing your partner d) closeness e) not being so horny afterward: closeness, openness. wait...closed, open, the same? i just blew...my own cyberbrain.
5. after sex, how long till you start looking forward to the next time? there's a next time?
BONUS: your ideal date would be: a) pizza and a movie b) hot dog and a ball game c) picnic and a bike ride d) candlelit dinner: the pizza guy comes over with his hot dog and balls game, we make a movie: i ride his bike, and we finish with candle wax.
LET THE TEARS FALL INTO THE DOUGH
* son: dad, what's all this white powder?
dad: flour, son, flour. it's not the other stuff. i got clean and sober when you were born.
son: thanks, dad.
* dad: son, what are you making over there? why are they green? it's not St. Patrick's Day.
* dad: OMG did you see that hot babe who walked into our modest little shop this morning? i've been out of the game for so long since your mother passed but i think i'm gonna gumption up the courage and ask her out.
son: too late, pops, she already asked me out.
dad: now son there's a reason my name is first on the sign, seniority and all, i got perks, i got first dibs.
* son: dad, some strangers gave me this brochure. i think i want to join.
dad: let me take a look at that. levels...couch...religion and science combined...President Tom Cruise? i dunno, son.
* Marty: why so glum, chum?
dad: not now, Marty, i'm lonely. my son left me, he went Hollywood or something.
Marty: you should have gone with him, i've seen you act, you're good, weren't you a baker once?
* dad: SON! SON! the prodigal son has returned to me! i love you, son. why did you come back? do you want to take over the family business when i go?
son: the party i was at kept playing this incessant house music. the beats were boring into my brain, i had to get outta there.
dad: oh son, do you want to take over the bakery? i won't be around forever.
son: nah.
CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.
happy weekend.
DENOUEMENTMENT
Shaq sits his kids down in a circle in the middle of the basketball court.
Shaq: i've been doing a lot of thinking. i want more. maybe Jim Rome is right, maybe i didn't work as hard as i could have during my dominant years. maybe i'd have more rings. maybe working out at the gym didn't have to take away from my aspirations to be the next Robert Redford. maybe i could have been the gentle giant everyone loved AND had as many chips as Tim Duncan, Mr. Old Man Riverwalk Himself, whom i admire greatly. he went about his business in such a quiet way the church mice prayed for him cos they thought something was wrong with him. but alas i can only be me, the boisterous practitioner of the martial arts and cop everyone at least respects. but i want more. i want to be involved in something higher. i am a large man so i see things from a unique perspective. my head is in the clouds from my stature. there's time enough for everything, you just have to schedule better. i want to be a real rapper. i wish i was a little bit taller.
little LeBron: i'm sure Bron will accept you into his circle.
Shaq: the camera dude gave you all ipad minis, huh? this new generation. it took you only seconds for y'all to get online, create profiles, and have half of this continent following you.
Shaq scrolls on the kid toy till he comes to LeBron's heartfelt tweet to that young woman athlete who had an incurable brain disease and passed away recently:
LeBron (tweeted out a minute ago): i will never forget you. you are an inspiration to me and my family. your story touched me, it was the greatest thing i've ever seen on SportsCenter. your fight wills me forward along the march, teaches me to live life to the fullest. we will meet again someday in Heaven.
lil Bron snatches his screen back from his second-favorite player.
Shaq: those things are like cigarettes, boy, watch out, they'll fry your brain. i'm not sure your head can handle the immensity of what's on the internet, it's like this big...
LIL BRON CLICKS ON THIS LINK. YOU SHOULD, TOO, THIS LINK, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.
Shaq: see? i told you, there's weird shit online. it's a pile as high as the old sky of creative nihilism.
Lil Bron: language.
Shaq: sorry for shit.
Lil Bron: no, nihilism, such a painful concept is indeed too delicate for my still-forming ears and kid brain. oh, and call me Source from now on, please. i don't want the ending before i have a chance to start.
Shaq: source?
Lil Bron: it's what my name means.
Shaq: now that's fresh and new and exciting and burgeoning.
Source: no it's ancient from what my moms says. she looked it up on the internet.
Emblem: where's the big fella? i miss his counsel now that i'm no longer on the council. doctor, heal thyself as they say. i got that saying online.
Premier Sunsong: he's on the court. do you think we should inform the rest of the nations that the devil is on our side?
Emblem: too early. let's see what happens, something always happens and then we react to it, that's how humans work. how are your fries?
Sunsong: scrumptious, fluffy, hot and heavenly. our little village has modernized so fast. too fast?
Emblem: too late, the swell of progress marches on and everyone follows. the next new thing comes along and we humans glom onto it and sap it of its energy. we need an energy that will resist human urges.
Sunsong: you're using peppercorn sauce? that's disgusting. use the bajan pepper sauce, it's tropical, we're in the tropics after all.
Emblem: u fancy huh? you're rubbing off on me and i'm supposed to be the worldly one. but in fact for all my world travels i am a simple man of simple pleasures. i like ketchup. i was tasked with keeping our village alive. it would not have lasted another century the way it was going. it survived. now you oversee our village's thrive. i'm afeared we have skipped a few levels, you heretofore ketchupless guys should have been impressed with the ketchup i brought over but there are tons of unsued ketchup bottles stowed away in the cargo of the CNN ship. when i journeyed i was unable to keep a good ketchup balance in my sack. i'd have four ketchup bottles in there each with a bottom layer, not quite used up. i knew in my head that there were two or three more good squeezes left but my heart yearned for a new bottle full of ruby red. it was a pain to lug around all those bottles in the desert. the plastic bottles turned to glass in the heat.
Sunsong: speaking of newer models, what finally is the deal with you and all the village women?!!! that shit hurt when they would all come up to me like we each had a collective timeshare on your time so they earned the right to blab on about the time they spent with you.
Emblem: i'm not as popular as you think. those other wives meant nothing to me, i had to have em, we all had to follow the ancient outdated code. those women wanted my machine, not my human machine. they were all pregnant and needed me to deliver their babies, i was the only one they trusted with this delicate task since the village witch doctor died. my "European" training was mystical to them, more mystical than the strange yellow dust the witch doctor would smear on their faces when he did his ceremonies, which is still mystical to me. i am not the father. right?
Sunsong: in time. i see what you did there, i saw those air quotes you formed with your fingers just now. i want your bod.
Emblem and Sunsong kiss each other's noses.
Sunsong: sorry, hun, all i have time for, i'm very busy.
the witch doctor of the village, recently passed but always named CCC though nobody in the village ever knew his real name cos they were scared to ask, sits at a long white medieval table with Kurt Cobain on the other side. CCC stands for Construction-paper Circle Chain, Construct for short. Kurt gets a kick out of calling him Circle Jerk. the two men put on their birthday-party hats with tight strings around their jaws and look down. Construct forms a string of construction-paper circles stapled together that reaches down from the clouds all the way to Trent Reznor's mansion. Trent takes a moment from his 50th birthday bash, a quiet gathering of family and few friends, to look up from his absinthe goblet and acknowledge Kurt with a nod. Kurt nods back.
Kurt: i wish i would have talked with that guy more, we had so much in common. a half century for my man, a testament to survival.
Construct: this chain is as thin as my previous medical knowledge, hurry up, it's already breaking apart. staples are such silly things to keep things together once you die and see what really keeps it all together. man did i have a lot to learn when i got here. i was way off but now i can say that i'm all caught up and please call me Doogie from now on.
Kurt: we've already broken up, forever. but not forever. for now, we can give the fans what they wanted, a duet.
Kurt picks up his powder-blue guitar and starts to strum. Trent sprinkles some air dust with his free hand's fingers to the arched ceiling of his mansion which forms the bottom layer of beats. his partygoers don't see this but his wife does. the song sounds like an industrial version of "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams.
Shaq is scrolling scrolling scrolling on Source's insta while Source fishes out a basketball intractably stuck in a bush. Shaq was distracted and REALLY missed that free throw.
Shaq comes upon this in the comments of a pic of a bush:
---nice bush
---thanks
---get it? i wish i could just leave my comment as is up there but i have to explain it so nobody gets offended. comments can't be simple anymore, they must be fancy and clever.
---okay buddy, thank you, goodbye now, i have to go, i'm very busy running my empire.
a giant meteor strikes the Earth with a godly force. it rips apart the shoreline forming an eternal chain of waves which empty out into fountains of tsunamis on the other side. a giant ring of fire is created at the impact zone, one half of the circle on land and the other on top of the water not caring that it's water, burning bright no matter what.
Emblem: i felt that over here! and i smelt that! time to deal. i can smell fire anywhere now.
Sunsong: sad but true. nothing else matters. i have a feeling no deal will work. as ever we have to fight, i wish it weren't so but we're under attack. we humans are always under attack, it's how we work.
Emblem: um, let's see, ah yes, looking it up online, oh, master of puppets, let's be the masters this time, not the puppets. we have a hulk. we have Manny now. where the hell is Manny?
Shaq: legends come and legends go. legends leave us, leave us to grow, to learn from them, to use them as our own, to be the leaders we were meant to show.
TMIT: HANDEY
1. what three things do you expect from a relationship with a lover? that we'll eventually marry though it doesn't have to be next week, makeup sex, cheese.
2. what three things do you expect from your relationship with your child? i only want one thing, that he will turn into a real boy someday. there's this annoying cricket that is all up in my business at my wood shop, i try to blow him out the door but he's got an umbrella.
3. how do you mend a broken heart? superglue
4. what is your favorite therapy (remedial treatment of mental or bodily disorder)? i'm getting fitted for a cyberbrain next week. that's why i said it doesn't have to be next week. the doctors say it's still in the experimental stage but they trust the science of the source. my doctors watch a lot of anime.
5. who in your life has an annoying habit? how do you deal? Jiminy Cricket. he won't leave me alone. i ignore him. that's what they say to do to deal with bullies, right?
6. describe yourself in five words but not these five words: funny, fun, nice, kind, responsible: i really want Morrissey's hair.
bonus: if in a long-time romantic relationship, do you still flirt? how do you flirt with your significant other? check back in one week. i love to flirt with random people on the street, flirting is the best part, it's better than cheese. potential energy is much more interesting than kinetic energy, ask any scientist. i asked my college science professor about this but she thought i was flirting with her and banned me from college.
2015 PREAKNESS GAME, ANYONE CAN PLAY!!!
get your preak on! it's all set up, my babies, American Pharoah Spelled Incorrectly will win all three this year. i know what you're saying, we've seen this script before, the unbeatable horse wins the first two legs in grand fashion only to get tired at the Belmont and finish last amid some sort of shady scandal. not this time, we've waited long enough, how many pieces can a heart break into until it's not a heart anymore, just a lot of pink dust you have to sweep up and deposit through the swinging door of the office trashcan and explain to your boss that it's pink-lemonade mix, not drugs? see the pic up there? THREE. there ya go. i'm not counting the baby ones in the foreground or the sand ones, the aliens who probed me last week told me those were just their practice pyramids which were later used to design our human food chart. btw that's why i was gone for so long in case anyone was wondering. aliens captured me, so...
anyone can play this blog game. first,
CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK FOR THE CONTENDERS.
choose one from that list to win tomorrow. if you actually get it right, you win 3 big ones from me at your blog. comments, not that. use the little surprise i left you in the comment box below as a guide.
SEE, SEE? there are only SEVEN other horses for Pharoah to beat. how hard could it be? seven is a lucky number. it's all coming together, folks. see you later with the results.
SHIP MOTHER
the kids are Mohd, the leader, Sekarang, the girl, nicknamed Angie, and Stew, the sweet ginger boy. they are down in the hold of the ship playing the latest video game, the two adults are aboveboard and are too busy at the moment.
Imzhan is lounging in the morning, looking at his wrist, watching his new watch as it
PLAYS THIS, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.
Codrus covers the screen with his hand.
Imzhan: sorry. you can't keep those kids locked up in there. they're not animals.
Codrus: they're not locked up, they're cooped up, they're freer than they've ever been. their parents abandoned them, i won't. you think the animals in the wild wouldn't trade places in a second with the animals in the zoo? hopefully we'll hit land again soon.
Imzhan: turns out they don't sell the LeBron's Mix Sprite around here. i'm miffed, i really want to try it.
Codrus: the boys turned you on to that huh. probably not gonna find an abandoned can on a buoy in the middle of the ocean.
Imzhan: i'm gonna have to order it through the Walmart site. can you believe this for a can? i've never ordered food online before, there's something so unnatural about that, i've crossed the rubicon after this somehow. in the meanwhile i'm gonna have to be sated by Daym Drops's review of it.
Codrus: what is the Daym conclusion?
Imzhan: haha, he's funny, never watched an entire Daym review video from front to back before. he was all like "damn that's nasty, B!". he thought the cherry aspect of it was more cherry medicine and the orange was prolly just a few drops of orange shasta. for a hood drink, to tamper with the holy essence of Sprite, and to put the name of the King on it, not just any ball player but King James, was folly. Daym recommends taking it back to the lab for a rehaul.
Codrus: it's good to be king, my head is heavy enough for it.
Imzhan finishes up his morning meal. he mixes a pineapple spear with his thick bacon, something he's never done before. it's delightful to the senses. as he's washing his dish in the sea, a stubborn piece of something sticks to the edge of the plate. he scrubs it off but it comes back. he plucks it and eats it out of habit. turns out it was a piece of whole bacon fat. it was disgusting to the senses and puts Imzhan off bacon forever, well at least the thick bacon he savored so much.
the kids are in the rock room, a reasonably-sized room full of many fragments and pieces of those ever-so-prevalent beige stones with ancient sacred important writing on them. there are old cassettes of music of a bygone era, when rock was on the radio, and an election poster of David Bowie with the word MARS below him.
Stew: i hate being here, i'm scared but mostly i'm bored, i want my mommy. oh yeah, she abandoned me.
Angie: it's gonna be okay, guys, they don't abuse us, in fact they treat us like prized possessions. we are ivory or something.
Mohd: say gold instead, i don't want to think of those poor elephants. what do you think these stones really are? what power do they hold? and what do they need us for? it's like a quest to find the Dragon Balls but in real life.
Imzhan scares the kids, he was standing by the hatch the whole time.
Imzhan: i agree, Mohd, you have a keen insight. i don't know if it's cos you look like me, look like my son, or what but i think we're on the same wavelength here on most matters.
Stew: where's the boss? he's doesn't like me much huh. but then again, nobody does.
Imzhan: nonsense, he's just busy taking over the world. we've got to get rid of these stereotypes and preconceptions, it's the only way we'll move forward with each other.
Codrus is by the hatch now.
Codrus: and education and opportunity and income inequality and the ability to get a decent job. if everyone had a fun job the world would be a funner place. nobody wants to see the world burn. hi, kids. tried to take a shower but i can't get over the fact that we have a fuzzy mat in there now. before, i would wipe my post-shower grime infused with my body dirt off the bathroom floor with a towel i'd throw away hastily back in the cupboard, that towel was always soaked and never washed. that towel would scare my pets. now the mat takes up 50% of the space so there's hardly anything to wipe, the towel of doom stays relatively dry. but that mat is not meant to be used as a mat, it's not meant to be soaked, it's too fuzzy, frilly, and pretty for that, it's meant to be on the dry side of the shower, never touched, left pristine. i keep seeing wet footprints on it.
the kids: sorry.
Imzhan: sorry.
Codrus: let's go to the chamber.
everyone walks on a rather steampunk ledge to god knows where. there's a metallic widow's walk they navigate around in the center. it's too far too see down but there's a bright yellow glow emanating from the bottomless pit.
Stew: no! i hate school!
Angie: it's okay, my friend, everything's gonna be alright. i won't let anyone harm you.
Mohd: what's down there? safe lava?
Codrus: the floor is lava!
Codrus and Imzhan race to get up on the railing, not touching their feet on any of the span's tiles. the kids stay motionless.
Codrus: what? you never played that game when you were kids?
Mohd: we're still kids, sir.
the three mouseketeers and their dual-parenting guardians reach a cavernous operating room with a clear plastic bubble display case. there is only one story, the second story, where observers can observe looking down on the operating theater below. in the bare dusty gladiatorial arena there stands one Cold Stone Creamery slab and one telescope.
Stew: no! fuck no! i hate doctors more!
Mohd: where are the desks, students, books? teachers, dirty looks?
Imzhan gives Mohd the Jenna Marbles face.
Codrus: i wish there were more students. before we start, before you ask, no, it's not that it's bigger on the inside, it's that it was an already huge mothership of a boat, i'm proud of it, construction took years and years off my life but it was worth the wait. like we're talking Close Encounters big.
the kids stay stonyfaced.
Codrus: not one of those references? nothing? really? education must start immediately. not even the lifecaster? i mean what is the purpose of life if not to cast it. kids, today's lesson is self-flagellation.
Imzhan gathers the children in his arms.
Imzhan: no way! i won't let you harm these kids!
Codrus: not theirs, mine. students teach teachers all the time.
Angie: sounds disgusting.
Stew: i like flags, pirate flags mostly, that black one with the white bones.
Codrus enters the arena below. he straps himself onto the slab as an altar offering. he squeezes the beige straps into around his tight body. he forgot to check his microscope first to adjust himself accordingly so he has to do the whole process again after he looks through the looking glass.
Mohd: how is he seeing anything through that telescope? we're indoors. there's a closed roof up there.
Imzhan: he doesn't tell me everything. he likes it that way. mystery is power.
Codrus: i want to see something. kids, tap on the glass like you would at the zoo. i need all three energy streams. concentrate like you would taking a test.
Stew: i hate tests! i always study for a multiple-choice and then there's a pop essay quiz the next day.
Mohd: if you choose C for all the answers, you'll at least get 50%, that's pretty good, that should be a C not an F, that's half, half is pretty good, half changes things.
the arena is starting to get slightly sprinkled with yellow dust with white flecks. the kids have their six eyes closed, eight arms press against the bubble, shooting invisible and not-so-invisible beams of light directly into Codrus's flabby stomach.
Codrus: i feel it, i feel the explosion within me.
Angie is the only one rooting her teacher on.
Angie: come on, Mr. Codrus, you can do it! good job, good effort!
Codrus takes out a rather large beige stone from his pocket and tries to read the writing on it. two yellow light snakes encircle his glassesless eyes.
Codrus (reading the rock): the real rules...one rule alone...the truth is alone...there are...no...rules...god is as old as love...as decrepit...love the new god(s)...
a giant tremor rocks the ship upside down. the piece of rock falls down into the topless snake pit in the next room.
Codrus: what the fuck is going on? sorry, children, language i know.
a giant meteor has changed direction off its course millions of miles in outer space and is barreling towards Earth. it hits the general relative area where the ship is into the sea water. a couple of miles away Manny observes from his spot in the middle of the ocean.
Imzhan checks his watch for the score.
Imzhan: i'm seeing readings going haywire, don't know if the readings are themselves haywire or the instruments used to measure have gone haywire, or we've all gone haywire. a dinosaur-level meteor has crashed to Earth, just missing us. we're okay, a bubble of energy was formed around the ship that shielded us. we were so distracted we didn't realize we were near the shore.
Codrus: it worked! which shore? where are we? what are the conditions? what's the atmosphere, the environment? rolling hills? wheat farmfields sprouting with the staff of life? plantation conditions?
the ship hits land sooner than expected from the reverb of the impact.
Imzhan: looks like desert. and btw our sensors are indicating that there's a real-life huge monster lizard King Koopa sitting in the middle of the Pacific Ocean near us.
Mohd: i never got the whole Godzilla craze. though admittedly that was before my time.
Codrus: no! i hate the desert!
TMIT: ZUCCHINI PEENI
1. my_________is so beautiful it belongs in a museum but my________belongs in a pawn shop. zucchini, meaning actual zucchini, in the museum. my pickle, meaning penis, in the pawn shop cos i got it stuck in a pickle jar trying to open the pickle jar. i'm not your typical man with the strength to open pickle jars.
2. i would most like to take a class in_________class, like netiquette and shit.
3. excluding people or pets, what is your most prized possession? my ThunderCats collection. they're people and pets.
4. what's your type? a) sexy b) sophisticated c) sweet 'n' innocent. i'm type AB, it's laminated right there on my library card.
5. what is the first thing you do when you get home from work? do the work i didn't do at work cos i don't work so there's a lot to do when i get home from wherever the hell i was all day. what do i do all day? i don't want to give it away, it's a surprise, but it has something to do with thumbs.
6. what is the last foolish thing you did with someone? i twiddled my thumbs with them.
bonus: cucumber or zucchini? normally when it's just me at home, cucumber. but when i know you're coming over, i pickle it up, dress it, stripe it, see above. i get my zucchini all did up and fancy waiting on your arrival. but you already know.
MONTAGE DONE RIGHT
see this. may you achieve nirvana this weekend. the first time i ever heard the word nirvana was from Kurt, i became a Buddhist for the summer right then and there. Superman's here. no, not that man in the sky...
Posted by the late phoenix at 11:33 AM No comments:
PATNAS
Cotard: how are you making out?
Atalan (on his watch, skyping): i'm seeing things beyond that, that's such a limited scope to see the world through, i'm slowly realizing it's not just basketball and the perks that come with basketball.
Cotard: you owe me dollars. i would have spent it on the spaying but i don't need to anymore.
Atalan: no way! i was right? Yayray's caught up in all of this? i knew that kid wasn't right, by which i mean he was just right, young and impressionable and looking to move up in the world quickly without consequence. i really wish he hadn't jumped, he would be witnessing this spectacle now. well, we'll just have to set him straight like everyone else in the world. peace.
Manny holds out his huge palm to a scared little boy, innocent, without protection, just wanting to be with his mom in the burning house. he casts a large looming shadow. Manny forms a fist and punches through the house.
Manny: don't worry little man, i also punched the fire out of it. you will have to rebuild the roof but don't we all. don't worry, i knew your mom was crouched on the floor in the lower section, she's a smart woman, i can tell by looking at you. you care, that's what matters. go to her, give her a kiss for me, okay well a hug for me, tell her you love her.
the boy scurries inside the burned-out structure. the thatched roof is a skeleton and so is his mom, but she's alive and smiling. the smoke she was hiding under lifts and scatters into the atmosphere, into rejuvenating nature like nothing had happened. they embrace and Manny's cheeks turn red not from the fires.
soon an Iceman's slide-worth of ice cubes converge on the poor village, the commensurate cold blankets the land in white and blue, all of the fires little and big are put out and made into ashen holes. the green of the area is experiencing an Ice Age, a joyous one this time. the villagers cheer, breaking though the icicles forming on their lips and cheeks. the red of their excitement overpowers the color of their skin, the previous reddish-brown they wore and their current blue.
Emblem: there's just something about nanomachines, they work better than macromachines. when you can get things nano, infinitesimally small, when you can get things to go inside other things, that's when the healing really occurs, cos it goes to the root of the problem rather than attacking the problem from the outside and quelling just the skin of it.
the villagers gather in the middle of their town square no longer there. there's nothing there except the people. they form a circle that's more beautiful than anything circular in nature. they hold hands crosswise.
Emblem hugs Sunsong for what seems like hours. Kenyatta looks on and smiles. the smile smiles less and less and eventually turns into a blank neutral expression the more the hug goes on and it literally becomes hours.
Emblem shakes the hand of everyone there, forming a lattice of hands, stitching through the scene, threading the ball of humanity into yarns to come. his people are happy to see him this way.
Emblem (shaking hands): patna, patna, we did it, we won.
the people: God has blessed us.
Emblem: yes he has, but it's more nuanced than that. let me have him, our previous enemy, explain.
Manny gets up on the dais and is about to speak but is interrupted. Cameraguy makes a hell of a rumbling noise bringing with him a gigiantic caravan from CNN full of goodies of all sort.
Cameraguy: this was the spoiler. we've come to the end of the story so i can finally reveal it. CNN had your back the whole time, we're not gonna film a village and let it burn, we're gonna help it, thanks to generous donations from around the world and viewers like you, we can give you unlimited drink!
there are tons of ice-cream carts filled with red cans of LeBron's Mix Sprite. and apple cider.
the kids all scream in ebullience, "LEBRON! LEBRON!". some adults do, too.
everyone agrees this day that there's no greater feeling in life than downing a cold one on a hot day. your throat is your carriage.
Kenyatta: cider? are you sure about that?
Emblem: we decided that it was weak enough for the kids but strong enough to give the adults a much-needed jolt.
Atalan: wow, even out here folk know of LeBron.
Emblem: the power of the internet. it's not sports to us, it's life, we look up to LeBron as a hero, not a sports hero. when he overcomes a 2-3 deficit in the playoffs it isn't just ball, we see him overcome with ball and are inspired to keep rolling the ball up the hill that we may eventually get out of our circumstance of being here on this ball of endless dirt.
the kid Manny saved, named The Bron, comes up to the adults and speaks out of turn:
The Bron: thank you, thank you, thank you.
Atalan: that's what we're here for. free throws pee throws. look, kid, turn around and hear your hero speak. what was that, Manny? we can't hear you.
The Bron: thank you for the Sprite! i love LeBron! he's my favorite basketball player! he's my only basketball player, the only one i know! i'll treasure this can forever and never drink it!
Shaq hears this and is moved. he removes the weird cross-eyed expression on his face he used when he wanted to be funny, picks up a basketball, and starts teaching The Bron and the rest of the village kids how to shoot free throws on the practice basketball court that was set up that nobody knew about.
Shaq squares up for a free throw and misses it embarrassingly. The Bron takes a swig of his red can and makes a basket on his first try.
The Bron: that's the first time i've ever touched a ball in my life.
Shaq (smiling): there'll be many more, you're a natural at it!
Manny: okay i got a microphone with a CNN box around it now, thanks Cameraguy. as i was saying, this is what life is all about: community acting as one, social love, people coming together and forming secure bonds no flame could ever hope to loosen. when the world becomes a riotous cacophony of phonies, you must lean on your friends, learn from them. you must make friends, lots of them, a ton of em, you can't do this alone no matter your ideology. there are different kinds of love granted. romantic love is hot but burns out. and it fans jealousy. no one should be a fan of jealousy, it's jealousy which rips the soul out of the body public. jealousy festers in a vacuum of seeming togetherness but actual isolation. but familial love, real love of neighbors you can touch, and most importantly love of yourself, your life experiences, who you are as a person, how you reflect and reflect upon your parents and relatives, how your memories of them are ingrained into your psyche, that's what will pull us through, that's how we lift each other up, always think back to how you were as kids, with your parents, that's your real identity, that's how we'll win, and we must win, the enemy's too strong this time. it's gonna be the Fight of the Century.
there is a real enemy out there but i am not it. you thought i was your great evil for aeons. i never left you alone, but that was because i wanted to get to know you better, we were neighbors after all. i am here to help, i will rebuild with you, i will carry the glue and hold five nails in my mouth as i hammer away but you must be the glue. i am your guide but i can't be it. think of me as Jiminy Cricket on steroids.
and now shall we proceed with the procession: patnas for life.
Sunsong walks slowly down an aisle decorated with twigs and berries. she is wearing a dazzling white dress that's been painted on with ochre paint crushed just two minutes earlier by the village kids. she even wears some of the paint on her two cheeks. the one thing she wears that is truly golden is her ear-to-ear grin. she's carrying a bouquet of sunflowers.
Emblem is at the head of the audience and wipes a tear from his eye. he is relieved it's all over for him.
Sunsong walks past her husband and onto the dais with Manny. he is holding an actual physical book and donning his reading glasses.
Manny: so i guess we use this village book, which is really a collection of scrolls, to make it official? damn i remember this, i wrote this aeons ago, don't remember. i...
Cameraguy bursts through the aisle with a caravan of Apple Watches.
Cameraguy: oh yeah, there's this, too. forgot. they were in the back of the plane.
all the villagers scramble on top of one another, stacking each other, forming a big balled pile of humanity, biting and clawing their way through to get the watches free courtesy of CNN. Atalan remembers a wrestling move he saw on tv as a child and is able to maneuver his way past some folk in the pile, drop-kicking his way around a slithering path till he gets his hands on the only gold-encrusted Apple Watch there.
Manny (having enough): hey hey HEY! don't get the demon mad! we were doing so well. technology sucks, it's a red herring, not real fish from your lake, it pretends to bring people together but it's a cheap substitute for what you guys have here. remember? real friends, real community, not the show Community for a low low offer, don't let a screen come between you and our collective primal scream.
Manny wrests the watch from the wrist of a shouting-no-for-a-long-time Atalan. Manny tosses the gold watch in the nearby lake. Atalan rows a boat to the lake trying to retrieve it, this takes about an hour. Manny is at the lake in a second, fishes it out of shallow water, and swallows it.
Manny: now where was i before i was so rudely interrupted by pop-up ads. stuff, material stuff, subtracts, subtracts your time and energy. adding adds to your life, it prolongs it, add stuff, the good stuff, don't add followers, add friends. family not fame.
Manny picks up the book and reads: rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay me. i came up with that? i was young back then, impatient. well you know the deal, villagers, you know the ritual better than i do, i don't have to speak the holy words, you've seen this episode before.
he turns to Sunsong and points at her like a dad singling out his embarrassed daughter in the rock-concert crowd.
Manny: girl, you know who you are. you'll be fine. keep blazing that trail, sista! this is your village's first-ever female leader in almost whatever it is 1000 years. let's have a round of applause! and then a round of drinks!
THE CROWN IS PASSED, THE CROWD IS GASSED, THE PARTY STARTS, THE VILLAGE DANCES TO THIS, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.
the adults' tongues all gather round the cider pyramid, the kids at the LeBron Sprite fountain. some adults go to both.
Kenyatta receives a message from Cotard on her watch, which is just the normal standard watch with no bells or whistles. she hands her watch phone to Atalan.
Kenyatta: what happened to your phone?
Ata: God said hell no to it.
Cotard: so Ata, ready to come home?
Ata: no way, i'm just getting started.
Cotard: oh yeah, forgot, this is just the first stage of the free-throw competition. *sigh* it's lonely out here, loneliness is the enemy.
Manny has an upset stomach. he burps which creates a small tornado. he forms a fist which he uses to hit his heart area.
Manny: too much gold is not good for the system.
he coughs out the gold Apple Watch. it still hasn't connected to wifi and is on the fritz as usual. he has to traverse a couple of oceans before he gets proper reception. in the middle of the Pacific Ocean he finally gets the worldwide feed, messages going so fast the typeface is blurred. after scrolling through tons of spam about the stones Manny lands on a message from a concerned mother:
it's not like when we were kids. too much sex and violence everywhere, innocence thoroughly evaporated from jump. no time to contemplate birth before the child is already feeling dead. hopefully the promise of the stones is kept. i can't raise my kid in this world anymore, outside technology has won, they have our kids in secret, video-game characters are dominating our children's fragile senses, raising them in blood with a quick trigger finger and no consequences. millennials have no idea what the concept of loving good music is, they'll never know how to love properly, how to have sex, just how to have porn.
below this is a talkback between two kids:
kid 1: did you see the new LeBron commercial? i want to drink that so bad, i am so thirsty! the way it's presented is so pleasing to the eye! it hits my artistic senses with a swell. the way that tiny piece of orange is there next to the can and that tiny segment of lime and another fruit of a yellow color i'm unfamiliar with, it's so exotic, so cute, i want to delight my tongue with its juice. the cherry. it's the mystery of it all.
kid 2: they don't carry that at my local mart. you're too happy today, it's making me uncomfortable. if you keep this up i'm gonna start hating you.
TMIT: MONEY WINS?
1. how long have you been blogging? when i started, there were no birds, only dinosaurs.
2. tell us about your pen name. yeah, it was given to me by my favorite bird, my Papa Phoenix. Papa swooped me up from my village one day and into his nest where he fed me mealworms. those became my favorite beetles until a certain invasion switched my loyalties. one day Pop went out to get a pack of smokes and never came back. the villagers said they saw him smoking...ritually.
3. what is your blog about? yes it's about that.
4. do you earn money from your blog? this is a sore subject.
5. what inspired you to blog? i had no life and wanted to become famous. now that i blog i literally have no life and can't enjoy the fame. fame sucks.
6. what keeps you blogging? the phoenix has become the albatross.
7. any advice for readers looking for love? looking to get laid? looking for a threesome?
the mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death---Oscar Wilde
enjoy the sumptuous Smashing Pumpkins video "Stand Inside Your Love" for further details.
8. did you do your kegels today? when was the last time? men: there is no evidence that kegels prevent erectile dysfunction---source: WebMD. thank you, i trust WebMD, whenever i have a question about my health, the first thing i do is go to the internet.
bonus: do you have any special sexual gifts or talents or tricks? do tell.
i'm gonna let my hand take this one, he's seen all the action, not me. hand, the floor is yours:
*prehistoric crickets*
hmmm, sorry folks, he's normally so active.
CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY.
2015 KENTUCKY DERBY GAME, ANYONE CAN PLAY!!!
as you can see, The Colonel up there is worried that the Kentucky Derby will be overshadowed by a fight later that night. The Colonel has no stake in the fight, he's not a betting man, but if he were a betting man, he'd bet that it will be over in a coupla seconds with an armbar. it's an open secret that The Colonel loves MMA. The Colonel told me that he really really really really really really really really really really really really really loves watching that Ronda Rousey, even more than he does watching his beloved 11 herbs and spices getting put in a big blender and swirled around into a smelly slop.
it's easy to play!
FIRST, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
and select from among those horsies the one you think will win the Derby tomorrow. if you predict the winning horse, you win 3 comments from me at your blog! if you don't, well, it's the fun that counts.
WARNING: DO NOT SELECT THE FAVORITE, IT NEVER WORKS OUT.
going on name alone, it was a tossup for me between American Pharoah and Frammento. frammentos are my favorite coffee. fragment you say? yes my mind is forever fragmented. in honor of the new X-Files episodes coming, i'm going with the favorite, American Pharoah, cos the Pyramids were really built in honor of our alien masters. only our new robot masters can hope to defeat our alien masters.
have a mint weekend.


Ok so you may have read some of the reviews on Glassdoor or spoken with someone who knows someone who worked there but here I would like to provide you with the opportunity to hear it from someone who is not retaliating on a Glassdoor review or giving you secondhand interpretations of what they think it's like.
I found my time spent working at Bridgewater to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my career. I not only learned a lot about how to think differently, handle my weaknesses and achieve goals but I also made friendships there that will certainly last a lifetime.
To be completely honest, I was very nervous about starting work there as a Business Analyst in 2012. I had read up on the company through the internet and heard all the stories about the place and the culture but I wanted to keep an open mind. Plus there was something about the culture description on their website that resonated with me. They talked about how they approached things differently, about how they foster innovation and independent thinking through transparency. I was in, I had to work there.
Once I was fully engaged in my role there I noticed something – everyone I met was genuinely concerned about helping everyone else succeed. People would go out of their way to provide feedback and point you in the direction of other people who have had struggles similar to the ones I was having so that I could improve. I found this approach amazing helpful for my personal and professional growth.
Imagine working in a place where the culture was clearly defined and you always knew what was expected of you? Not cool with what is expected of you? No problem! Just have a conversation with your manager and get on the same page. Being from super rank-and-file cultures prior to coming to Bridgewater I was not used to this concept at all and found it very uncomfortable at first. I remember in a past job walking into a managing directors office and asking why so-and-so had been laid off and that it posed a risk to the operation of one of our products. The nerve of me! Wow did I get a corporate shellacking that day. Well guess what? At Bridgewater, not only is this behavior of questioning encouraged, it's actually part of the job description. This concept, though admittedly foreign at first, becomes second nature and is incredibly freeing once you put it into practice.
So my day to day there was full of learning, building relationships and understanding how to effectively come to the best answer by applying the principles in the way that makes sense. And how about this? The truth and transparency virtually eliminates the crappy corporate politics. You know what people are thinking all the time. Thee's none of this you walk out of the room and then there's this whole separate and opposite discussion that happens about you. There's no talking behind other people's backs and that's such a powerful thing because you are always exposed to the feedback, right or wrong so you can at least agree or disagree with it. And if it turns out to be true then you have just learned something about yourself that you have NEVER found out in another culture.
Interested in Growth and Continuous Improvement?
If any of this has resonated with you as it did with me a few years back then please, click the button and submit your resumé. The place truly fosters an environment that will bring your thinking to the next level if you are willing to throw in and do the work.
If you are interested, here is a link to the Principles from the Bridgewater website. The Principles at the company provide a common framework by which to base decision making upon and help people talk about common issues and problems by using the same language.


text:
John Russell Taylor (November 28, 1917 – February 28, 2002) was a Canadian politician and immigration lawyer. He was the Progressive Conservative Member of Parliament from Vancouver—Burrard from 1957 to 1962.

Early life
John Taylor was born in Vancouver on November 28, 1917. He was the second son of Fred "Cyclone" Taylor, a member of the Hockey Hall of Fame.  He was raised in Vancouver and later attended the University of Toronto, during which he helped the university's hockey team win two intercollegiate championships.

After earning a bachelor of arts degree Taylor enlisted in the Canadian Army in 1942, being discharged in 1946 after rising to the rank of Captain. He was called to the British Columbia bar as a lawyer the same year.

During the 1950s Taylor owned the Kerrisdale Monarchs, a senior semi-professional hockey team based in his Vancouver neighbourhood.

Political career
Taylor was first elected as a Member of Parliament for Vancouver--Burrard during the 1957 general election. He used an advertising campaign that featured signs with only a pair of stencilled foot prints, no slogan, no candidate name and no party affiliation. The signs created a buzz, after which their origin was revealed and then the slogan "Follow John" was added to them. The Diefenbaker campaign took up the slogan and used it across Canada.

Taylor was easily re-elected in the constituency during the Progressive Conservative sweep of the 1958 general election. He was subsequently defeated in 1962, coming a close third to Thomas Berger of the New Democratic Party and Ron Basford for the Liberals. He was again defeated in the 1963 general election, coming third again, this time to Basford and then Berger.

In 1974 he ran for election in Vancouver Kingsway, coming third to Liberal Simma Holt, and New Democrat Dennis Mulroney.  He did not run for election again, though he regularly worked in various election campaigns, the last being John Reynolds', then of the Canadian Alliance, in 2000.

Legal career
Taylor was a member of the Law Society of British Columbia from 1946 until his retirement in 1988.  He was one of the first lawyers in Canada practising mainly in immigration law matters, due in part to his father's lengthy tenure as head of the Immigration Branch in British Columbia.

Taylor gained recognition in early 1957 with his representation of Christian George Hanna, "the man without a country," whose case was used by the opposition Progressive Conservative Party in the House of Commons to attack the then Liberal government's handling of immigration matters and the Minister of Citizenship and Immigration, Jack Pickersgill.

In the 1960s Taylor was counsel for Robert Brooks, an American citizen who was granted landing as an immigrant in 1963. Brooks was ordered deported in 1968 on grounds that he gave false and misleading information when he applied for landed immigrant status. An appeal against the deportation order was eventually considered by the Supreme Court of Canada in 1974, which, in a precedent setting case, determined that the person did not have to knowingly present false or misleading information to be deportable.

During the 1970s, Taylor acted for David Duke, the Ku Klux Klan member, when he was removed from Canada. Among other client's he acted for was Robert Satiacum, a U.S. native tribal leader, who, afterward, was the first U.S. citizen to be found a Convention refugee in Canada, a decision later reversed by the Federal Court of Appeal in 1989.

Personal
Taylor was an uncle of Mark Taylor, a professional ice hockey player in the 1980s, the son of his older brother.

Taylor died in hospital on February 28, 2002, after a short illness. He was survived by his wife Kathleen (Kay), whom he married during World War II, an adult daughter and son, three grandchildren, a brother and a sister.

References

External links

1917 births
2002 deaths
Members of the House of Commons of Canada from British Columbia
Politicians from Vancouver
Progressive Conservative Party of Canada MPs

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


The devices based on the Android platform proliferate quickly in the IT-market. This makes its major rival – iOS by Apple – lose ground. Therefore, the demand for Android app development goes up.
Web Peppers is a leading Android app development company specializing in creating Android applications for smartphones, tablets and phablets. Dealing with us guarantees you will receive a tailor-made and fully customized mobile app.
The business applications designed by our team are sure to improve productivity due to processes optimization and workflows planning and organization. Moreover, they will help you boost working efficiency and stay technologically advanced and competitive.
No matter you are a large enterprise or a small company or even a start-up, you need a good partner who is a true expert in mobile technologies. Web Peppers is one of the top Android app development companies with a highly qualified, responsible and outcome-oriented staff.
Order an app right now to enrich your business experience and have access to your enterprise critical information from any place at any time.


text:
Three People Injured in Shooting After a Nas and ScHoolboy Q Concert at Red Rocks Amphitheatre Near Denver
ByDharmic X
Dharmic X writes for Complex Music
@DharmicX / Google+
Nas, ScHoolboy Q, and Flying Lotus had a concert at the Red Rocks Amphitheatre near Denver, Colorado tonight. Following the concert, a shooting broke out in the parking lot of the venue. Three people were injured in the shooting and were reportedly found by Denver police on 6th Avenue and Kalamath Street. The victims were then transported to the Denver Health Medical Center. Two other passengers were also in the vehicle with the victims at the time.
No arrests have been made thus far. A picture of ScHoolboy Q being taken into custody has been circulating online in wake of the incident, but according to the Jefferson County Sherriff's Office's Twitter page, nobody has been taken into custody yet. The Denver Post is also reporting that no arrests have been made. As of now, none of the artists who performed have responded to the shooting, but ScHoolboy did take a picture with Nas during the earlier in the evening.
Red Rocks shooting occurred AFTER the concert, in the parking lot, not in the amphitheater. No one in custody. Park is closed. #JCSO
— Jeffco Sheriff (@jeffcosheriffco) June 20, 2014
One person was detained as Denver Police investigated a triple shooting after a concert at Red Rocks Thursday night. pic.twitter.com/Nfa7oeMHz4
— Karl Gehring (@karlgehring) June 20, 2014
Wit THA G.O.A.T ESCO pic.twitter.com/QoOcawNG22
— ScHoolboy Q (@ScHoolBoyQ) June 20, 2014
[via Denver Post]
UPDATE: According to reporter James Dougherty, ScHoolboy Q appears to have been detained at 7th Avenue and Kalamath Street in Denver. This happens to be in the area where the three shooting victims were located.
Here is a better picture of the man detained at 7th & Kalamath. Jefferson County SO is taking over investigation. pic.twitter.com/rZO2lLkhqE
— James Dougherty (@Dougherty7NEWS) June 20, 2014
RELATED: Four People Injured in Shooting After Meek Mill Concert in Delaware
RELATED: Watch ScHoolBoy Q's Video for "Hoover Street"
NewsFlying LotusNasSchoolboy Q

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
EV Tax Credit Renewal Looks Unlikely
Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.) told Bloomberg the federal electric vehicle tax credit would be difficult to extend in the face of "extreme resistance" from the Trump administration.
Photo via Sen. Debbie Stabenow/Flickr.
An Obama-era tax credit for buyers and lessees of new electric vehicles will not likely be extended as part of a new federal spending bill, Reuters reports.
A campaign led by manufacturers and Democratic legislators failed to sway Republican leaders, including President Donald Trump, who have denounced the credit as a tax break for wealthy car buyers.
"There has been extreme resistance from the president. It's going to be difficult," Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.) told Bloomberg this week.
The $7,500 income tax reduction was introduced in 2009 and applied to the first 200,000 electric units built by any manufacturer in the U.S. market. The nation's EV leaders, General Motors and Tesla, exceeded that mark in 2018 but have since benefited from credits of diminishing amounts. The current federal tax credit of $1,875 for GM and Tesla units will expire Dec. 31 and March 1, respectively.
Opponents of the extension frequently referenced a 2014 IRS report that found 79% of electric vehicle tax credits went to households earning $100,000 or more. Only 1% were claimed by households earning less than $50,000.
Proponents countered the IRS figures set aside the fact that dealers were able to apply the credit to leases, which accounted for a majority of the EV market as recently as 2017, according to Bloomberg Intelligence.
Columnist George Will summarized the conservative viewpoint in an April column for the Washington Post.
"The tax credit quickly became another example of the government's solicitousness for those who are comfortable and who are skillful in defense of their comforts," he wrote. "Today, demand for electric cars is still insufficient to produce manufacturing economies of scale (after a decade of production, moral exhortations and subsidies, electric cars are a fraction of 1% of all vehicle sales), and batteries are expensive."
Related: White House Proposes Cutting EV Tax Credit
Read more about Tax Credits Donald Trump Legislation Battery-Electric Vehicles
Geotab Launches Tool to Help Fleets Add EVs
Geotab has launched its Electric Vehicle Suitability Assessment (EVSA) tool in North America, a tool designed to enable fleets to go electric.
Geotab Introduces EV Battery Degradation Tool
Geotab has launched its Electric Vehicle Battery Degradation tool, a tool that offers a comparison and assessment of battery health in EVs over time.
Corporate Social Responsibility Driving EV Adoption
The initial costs of alternative-fuel vehicles can sometimes be prohibitive, so the mindset when acquiring these vehicles should be in the long-term.
Why It's Difficult for Some Fleets to Go Green
For many fleets, aligning governmental mandates with the vehicles that OEMs offer creates a difficult task. This is especially true for fleets that operate a mix of light-, medium-, and heavy-duty vehicles.
Nissan's 2020 Leaf Pricing Starts at $31,600
The 2020 Nissan Leaf electric vehicle will start at an MSPR of $31,600, the automaker announced.
Electric Vehicle Interest Growing Among Fleets
As more and more manufacturers release new electric vehicles, EV interest has been renewed among fleets.
Tesla Cybertruck Fighter? GM to Revive Hummer as EV
The company currently has a goal of releasing 20 new EVs by 2023, across its global market.
Sustainability Inertia: The Fear of Getting Ahead of the Curve
Corporate sustainability initiatives continue to be a strong trend at many companies, but are tempered by the limited product availability of zero-emission vehicles capable of fulfilling a cross-section of fleet applications.
Toyota Begins Production of 2020 RAV4 Hybrid
Toyota has begun production of its popular 2020 RAV4 Hybrid at the Toyota Motor Manufacturing Kentucky plant.
Goldman Sachs Joins EV100
Goldman Sachs is one of the newest members of the EV100, a global business initiative designed to increase the speed of electric vehicle adoption among companies.


text:
Yellow Line Feeder Route
A Yellow Line Feeder Route (BTN:9) is a larger route which has a greater volume of regularly scheduled traffic.
1 Description (Specifications)
2.1 Image Repository
If there is a yellow line between two worlds, this indicates a "feeder" route that meets BTN-9 requirements.
These routes are served by the larger freighters, generally between four and eight, with an equal number of smaller liners and free traders.
While only two to four ships per day leave or enter port, they are larger ships than on a BTN 8 route.
As an average there is 10,000 dtons of cargo and 200 passengers per week along the route.
Almost all destinations along these routes will possess Class D Starports or better.
Please refer to the Sector Trade map key for a detailed map of this worlds trade relations.
Image Repository[edit]
Retrieved from "http://wiki.travellerrpg.com/index.php?title=Yellow_Line_Feeder_Route&oldid=477302"
Non-canon


We're sharing veteran wildlife and nature photographer George Ritchey's tips for getting the most out of your equipment and experience. With over 35 years of wildlife photography experience and credits including Robb Report, Atlanta Journal Constitution andBirmingham Magazine, Ritchey offers travelers tips on how to capture, preserve and enhance their memories while traveling.
Equipment: I don't recommend that you bring a tripod unless it is a very light and mobile. Many of us will have cameras as well as binoculars. More equipment will become cumbersome and difficult to use. I am bringing a combination of walking stick and monopod. Often if your subject is an animal you will not have a lot of time to capture the image before the animal flees thus a tripod is of little use in these situations.
Wildlife: When approaching animals in the wild begin taking images during the approach process since you never know at what distance the animal will flee. Take lots of images. It is easy to delete unwanted ones. It is always better to capture a shot approaching the animal rather than the animal fleeing. Zoom in as close as possible. Have your camera ready and accessible at all times. Most animals will not wait for you –Sloth excluded.
Composition: Include reflections in your composition. Often the reflection itself will make a good photo. If your composition is in the sun or bright light a neutral density filter or circular polarizing filter should be considered but in darker situations such as the rain forest you will not need to use a filter.
How to pack: If your equipment includes many individual parts bring a small day bag or small backpack to house all the pieces that are not in use. Remember travel as light as possible. You will have a much more enjoyable trip. I would rather have the basic equipment than too much equipment.
Before leaving home review and study your camera manual. You should know how to operate it and that all functions are working. This is very important if you have a new camera or it's been awhile since you used your camera. Remember we will have very limited access to any stores after we arrive in Lima. Once a participant in my seminar brought a five year old camera that she did not check, and after driving four hours she was disappointed to find that the camera did not work.
Make sure that you pack your camera manual. Many of the new cameras do not come with the manual and if you want one you need to download the manual from the manufacturer. Many strange and unusual malfunctions have occurred in the field and the manual often will supply instruction that can correct the problem. It may mean the difference of lots of images or going home with a disappointing number. Remember most of us will not travel the Amazon again!
Bring some type of rain protection for your camera equipment. There are specialty waterproof systems such as Aqua Tech or Kata, Inc. camera covers or you can use something as inexpensive as Ziplock bags. These bags come in sizes from 1 to 3 gallons. I once failed to use an adequate water protector in Alaska, and I spent many hours trying to dry my equipment and praying that it would work. I was successful but many photographers have not been so lucky.
Bring some type of security to attach your camera to you. I know that we all want to go home with all the equipment that we started out with. A neck strap or chest harness is acceptable. Gear Keeper offers a retractable device for smaller cameras. Cotton Carrier offer several chest strap carrying systems. I do not think a wrist strap is adequate. One inexpensive solution is to tie a string or small cord to your camera and to the button hole of your shirt.
Now that you're a pro, plan your next photography-rich small ship cruise adventure in the Amazon and the Galapagos Islands.


text:
Jeremiah Unterman
How Dare You, Mr. Asselborn!
The Times of Israel recently published an interview with Luxembourg's Foreign Minister Jean Asselborn in which he is quoted as saying that Israel's contemplated application of sovereignty rights to parts of the West Bank is "an annexation violates...
The Jewish Bible's stand on migrants is unambiguous
Jewish scripture teaches that failure to attend to the rights of resident aliens will result in national catastrophe
Judaism's role in history? Major!
Yuval Harari, the popular historian who counseled Jews to be more modest should follow his own advice
Jeremiah Unterman is the Academic Editor of the new series, the Koren Tanakh of the Land of Israel, and a Resident Scholar at the Herzl Institute. He has been a Professor of Bible at Yeshiva University and elsewhere and is the author of Justice for All: How the Jewish Bible Revolutionized Ethics, published in 2017 by the Jewish Publication Society.


text:
Ira Joy Chase
22nd Governor of Indiana
November 23, 1891 – January 9, 1893
Francis M. Griffin (acting)
Alvin Peterson Hovey
Claude Matthews
20th Lieutenant Governor of Indiana
January 14, 1889 – November 23, 1891
Alonzo G. Smith
as Acting Lieutenant Governor
Francis M. Griffin
Monroe County, New York
May 11, 1895(1895-05-11) (aged 60)
Lubec, Maine
Rhoda Jane Castle
Ira Joy Chase (December 7, 1834 – May 11, 1895) was a veteran of the American Civil War, a leading member of the Grand Army of the Republic, a prominent Church of Christ evangelist, and the 22nd Governor of Indiana between November 23, 1891 and January 9, 1893.
3 Electoral history
Ira Joy Chase was born in 1834 in New York, the son of Benjamin and Lordina Mix Chase. His parents were poor, and spent much of his early life moving from place to place. He was educated at Medina Academy where he received a common education, and then attended the Milan Seminary to be trained as a minister. In 1855 his family moved to Barrington, Illinois. There he and his father took a job driving wagon teams in the Chicago stockyards. He soon found work as a teacher, where he met Rhoda Jane Castle. He married her and had three children before he joined the Union army at the start of the American Civil War. His health was frequently poor during the war, so he was removed from front-line duty and served as a drill instructor to prepare and train new recruits. His health still worsened and he was forced to spend several months in a military hospital. His wife heard of his situation and left their Illinois home to be with him in Tennessee. She was not permitted to remain in the hospital because she was civilian, so she joined the army as a nurse. As his health recovered, he returned to duty as a chaplain.[1]
The day after they left to return home in 1864, she contracted smallpox. Chase spent several weeks nursing her back to health, but the virus left her blind and crippled. Chase opened a hardware store to try to support his family, but the community avoided contact with him for weeks after his wife's smallpox had gone; the lack of customers forced him to close the store. He began preaching in local churches, and gained popularity in the community for his sermons against liquor. In 1867 he moved to Indiana to become the minister of the Christian Church of Mishawaka, Indiana. He also pastored in churches in La Porte, Wabash, and Danville.[2]
Chase was one of the founding members of the Grand Army of the Republic. He became chaplain of the Indiana G.A.R. in 1886 and was elected as the department head in 1887, and served for several years in that position. The group was heavily involved in political lobbying, primarily to secure benefits for veterans of the Civil War. His high standing in the organization gained him clout in political circles because of his ability influence members' votes.[2]
Political career[edit]
Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument in 2005.
Because of his influence in the Indiana G.A.R., he was elected the 20th Lieutenant Governor of Indiana on January 14, 1889, and served until the death of Governor Alvin Peterson Hovey. He was criticized by the Methodists and other large denominations for continuing to serve as a minister during his tenure primarily because of their dislike for the Church of Christ. He was sworn in as governor on November 23, 1891, and served until January 9, 1893. His administration oversaw the expansion of the state's road system and the construction of the state's Soldiers' and Saliors' monument. He also returned the state to the temperance debate, urging prohibition laws to be enacted. His position on temperance was controversial within his own party. Republicans feared losing support to Democrats could cost the party on the national ticket. He had also oppose several work reform laws, and was perceived by many to be anti-labor.[2]
He was nominated by his party to run for governor in 1892 for a full term of his own, and he accepted. Party leaders had attempted to deny him the chance because of his labor and temperance positions by holding the state convention as far as possible from his base of support and during harvest time in hopes that few farmers would attend, but the attempt failed. He delivered speeches at his many campaign stops where he would also preach a sermon later in the day at one of the area churches. His sermons were often firebrand and prohibitionist. Some of the doctrines he taught caused Methodist and Presbyterian churches, the two largest churches in the state, to urge their members to vote against him. He was defeated at the polls by Democrat Claude Matthews who won by plurality, with Populist Party candidate Leroy Templeton capturing nearly five percent of the vote which would have ordinarily gone to the Republican party.[3]
Chase returned to private life and continued preaching. He became even more prominent as a minister following his term as governor and began traveling nationally to deliver sermons. He died in 1895 in Lubec, Maine after delivering a sermon. His remains were returned to be buried in the Crown Hill Cemetery in Indianapolis, Indiana.[4]
Electoral history[edit]
Indiana gubernatorial election, 1892[5]
Democratic Claude Matthews 233,881 47.5
Republican Ira Joy Chase 214,302 46.2
Populist Leroy Templeton 22,401 3.5
Prohibition Aaron Wirth 12,960 1.1
Indiana portal
List of Governors of Indiana
^ Gugin. p. 198
^ a b c Gugin, p. 200
^ Gugin, p. 202
Gugin, Linda C.; St. Clair, James E, eds. (2006). The Governors of Indiana. Indianapolis, Indiana: Indiana Historical Society Press. ISBN 0871951967.
Indiana Historical Bureau: Biography and portrait
National Governors Association
Ira Chase at FindAGrave
Robert S. Robertson Lieutenant Governor of Indiana
Mortimer Nye
Alvin Peterson Hovey Governor of Indiana
November 23, 1891 – January 9, 1893 Succeeded by
Governors of Indiana
Territorial (1800–16)
Gibson (acting)
State (since 1816)
W. Hendricks
J. Whitcomb
Dunning
T. Hendricks
Hovey
Hanly
McCray
McNutt
Schricker
Handley
Branigin
E. Whitcomb
Bayh
O'Bannon
See also: Governor of Indiana
Lieutenant Governor of Indiana
Stapp
Hillis
Cumback
Van Orman
Ristine
Folz
Mutz
Skillman
Ellspermann
History of Indiana
Beaver Wars
European contact
La Salle Expeditions
French Rule
Fort Miamis
Ouiatenon
British Rule
Pontiac's War
George Rogers Clark
Illinois campaign
Clark's Grant
Northwest Territory
Northwest Indian War
Petit Fort
Indiana Territory
Treaty of Vincennes
Treaty of Grouseland
Indiana Rangers
Tecumseh's War
Battle of Tippecanoe
Abolitionist movement
1st Indiana Canal Company
Polly v. Lasselle
Treaty of St. Mary's
Indian Removals
Fall Creek massacre
Bank of Indiana
2nd Indiana Canal Company
Whitewater Canal
Wabash and Erie Canal
Public Works and Bankruptcy
Eli Lilly & Company
Reno Gang
Gas boom
Black Day of the General Assembly
Indiana Pi Bill
Golden Age of Literature
Elwood Haynes
Indianapolis strike and riots
Samuel Woodfill
Indiana Klan
Freeman Field Mutiny
Shipp & Smith lynchings
Supreme Court Reorganization
Historical Political Strength
By city and locale
See also: History of the United States, History of the Midwestern United States and Portal:Indiana
WikiProject Indiana's History Department
SNAC: w66x09g0
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Ira_Joy_Chase&oldid=905053409"
American Presbyterians
Burials at Crown Hill Cemetery
Indiana Republicans
Ministers of the Churches of Christ
Republican Party state governors of the United States
19th-century American politicians


text:
Movie-Covers
Reservoir Dogs Overview
A botched robbery indicates a police informant, and the pressure mounts in the aftermath at a warehouse. Crime begets violence as the survivors -- veteran Mr. White, newcomer Mr. Orange, psychopathic parolee Mr. Blonde, bickering weasel Mr. Pink and Nice Guy Eddie -- unravel.
Who Stars in Reservoir Dogs
Mr. White / Larry Dimmick
Mr. Orange / Freddy Newandyke
Mr. Blonde / Vic Vega
"Nice Guy" Eddie Cabot
Chris Penn
Joe Cabot
Reservoir Dogs Cast
Kill Bill: Vol. 2
Reviews for Reservoir Dogs
Author: talisencrw
This unique take on the heist-film-gone-wrong was excellent--stylish and intelligently made, yet very funny and inexpensive. Tarantino's accolades from giving American cinema the resuscitation it needed mirrors what has happened, at least since the 70's, with Martin Scorsese's 'Mean Streets', both in terms of entertaining violence and usage of music in the scoring of films. I greatly thank Harvey Keitel for taking a chance on Tarantino back then--It paid off in spades.
Author: Wuchak
The cuss-oriented squabbles of lowlife crooks for 99 minutes (and no women) RELEASED IN 1992 and written/directed by Quentin Tarantino, "Reservoir Dogs" is a crime drama/thriller about a diamond heist gone disastrously wrong in Los Angeles wherein the surviving thugs bicker back-and-forth in a warehouse about which of their members is a police informant. The main thieves are played by Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi, Michael Madsen and Chris Penn while Lawrence Tierney appears as the old salt mastermind. This was Tarantino's first feature film, costing only $1,200,000, and it has quirky glimmerings of future greatness, as seen in "Pulp Fiction" (1994), "Jackie Brown" (1997), "Kill Bill" (2003/2004), "Inglourious Basterds" (2009) and "Django Unchained" (2012), but "Reservoir" didn't work for me. It's hampered by a low-budget vibe, which I can handle, but not the uninteresting lowlife characters, their self-made conundrum, their interminably dull dialogue and the one-dimensional setting where about 80% of the story takes place in an old warehouse, not to mention no females in the main cast. Still, it's interesting to observe Tarantino's first serious stab at filmmaking and it has its moments of genuine entertainment. It's a lesson on humble beginnings, which shows potential while not being up to snuff. THE FILM RUNS 1 hour, 39 minutes and was shot in Los Angeles & Burbank. GRADE: C-
Images related to Reservoir Dogs
Dog Eat Dog Productions
$ 1,200,000.00 (Estimated)
$ 2,859,750.00 (USA)
$ 1,659,750.00 (Estimated in USA)
traitor jewelry psychopath thief heist betrayal mystery escape gang plan gone wrong cult film nonlinear timeline warehouse ensemble cast told in flashback heist gone wrong foreshadowing rendezvous iconic set in one room uneasy alliance rag tag group shared universe
What are the best movies in theaters right now?
Reservoir Dogs Official Trailer #1 (Red Band) - (1992) HD
Terms & Conitions
Copyright © Movie-Covers 2020
Share Reservoir Dogs
Link for Social Media :
Rate Reservoir Dogs


text:
Muslim-Turned-Atheist Explains the Deconversion on YouTube December 26, 2009 Guest Contributor
Muslim-Turned-Atheist Explains the Deconversion on YouTube
YouTube user Kimdonesia went from being one of the most watched Islamic female vloggers… to being an ex-Muslim atheist.
How does that deconversion happen?
She explains in this video:
She also explains it on her YouTube page:
It was a tough process. My beloved canine companion of 14 years ("Beauty") passed away, which resulted in thinking about death. This led me to think about the Hereafter, and whether the god in the Qur'an was truly just with his judgment.
I ended up strongly doubting Islam after finding about the "scientific miracles" of the Qur'an being refuted, and deciding once and for all that Islam is simply illogical and is based on faith rather than reason and logic.
So I left Islam, and continued to read and think until I lost belief in a god. Now, I'm trying to live as an atheist and get back on track.
How can you not like someone who requests subscribers with this: "I lost a large chunk of Muslim subscribers who think apostates have cooties, so please bring them up again!"
Plus, she's from Australia, and that makes her extra awesome.
Check her out.
(Thanks to Matt for the link!)
A Bollywood Christmas Song, Part 2
December 26, 2009 Flying Spaghetti Monster Tree Toppers
"I wish they all could be Australian girls."
They should re-make that old Beach Boys song. 🙂
It will be interesting to see how her vlog is doing in another couple of months.
Reginald Selkirk
"I lost a large chunk of Muslim subscribers who think apostates have cooties, so please bring them up again!"
Ambiguous antecedent. She wants cooties brought up again?
I love how her accent makes it so that when she says "Islam" it sound like "the slum". But maybe that's just me.
KimDonesia
Thanks for this post. A friend shared it with me on Facebook. 🙂
(The person who commented about my accent when I say "Islam" sounding like "the slum" is hilarious, lol. Never noticed it.)
llewelly
Why do you people like this video? Don't realize that all those weird eyeball ticks are a symptom that this poor woman is infested by the parasitic entities which serve the foulest of the Elder Gods? In only a few months, this (formerly) innocent young woman will doubtless undergo a hideous transformation. She will be come a thing with glistening claws and writhing tentacles, and indescribable horror of ravening fangs and grasping suckers. Stop watching her youtube channel now, while you are still sane.
Um . . . so she serves Cthulu? I'm confused.
If anyone can get in contact with Kimdonesia, please make sure she knows about the worldwide atheist convention happening in Melbourne in March 2010.
Kimdonesia, your views from having experienced Islam as a young Australian woman will doubtless be very interesting and need to be more widely heard. The convention will be a great time for you to mix with other freethinkers and share your story.
I'm sure if you mentioned it in a video, there would be many people supporting you to come along.


text:
L'Aeroporto internazionale di Dublino (chiamato Dublin Airport in lingua inglese e Aerfort Bhaile Átha Cliath in gaelico irlandese) è l'unico aeroporto di Dublino ed il più trafficato dell'isola d'Irlanda, con 20,5 milioni di passeggeri nel 2009. È gestito dalla società Dublin Airport Authority.

Nel 2006, due sono stati i principali traguardi raggiunti dall'aeroporto. In giugno, per la prima volta sono stati superati i due milioni di passeggeri in un solo mese. L'8 dicembre, invece, l'aeroporto ha dato il benvenuto al 20 milionesimo passeggero dell'anno.

Il traffico passeggeri dell'Aeroporto di Dublino è quasi esclusivamente Internazionale: solo 810.000 (approssimativamente il 3-4%) dei 21,1 milioni di passeggeri totali, nel 2006, hanno viaggiato su tratte nazionali.
L'aeroporto è collocato circa 10 chilometri a nord del centro di Dublino, in un'area chiamata Collinstown. È la principale sede della compagnia di bandiera irlandese Aer Lingus e della principale Low Cost europea, Ryanair. La terza compagnia aerea irlandese, CityJet, è basata nella vicina città di Swords. Aer Arann, compagnia aerea regionale basata a Galway, opera voli regolari tra Dublino e altre città dell'Irlanda e del Regno Unito. L'aeroporto ospita anche la sede della Norwegian Air International.

L'Aeroporto ha un ampio network di rotte a corto e medio raggio: alcune rotte domestiche in Irlanda, circa trenta rotte verso altrettante città del vicino Regno Unito e moltissime altre nell'Europa Continentale. La rotta internazionale Dublino-Londra è la seconda più trafficata al mondo (dopo la Hong Kong-Taipei), con voli da Dublino a tutti i cinque aeroporti londinesi: Heathrow, Gatwick, Stansted, Luton e London City. Aer Lingus e alcune compagnie statunitensi e canadesi offrono rotte per diverse destinazioni negli Stati Uniti e in Canada.

Esistono anche voli diretti per il Bahrein, operati da Gulf Air, e per Dubai, operati proprio da Aer Lingus. Da luglio del 2007, Etihad Airways opererà voli diretti anche per Abu Dhabi. La stessa compagnia offre destinazioni, con uno stop ad Abu Dhabi, anche in Australia.
Oltre a questi, da Dublino vi sono anche voli, spesso operati come Charter, verso il Nord Africa, il Sudafrica e le Canarie.

Storia

Gli inizi nel 1930 e nei primi anni 1940
Nel 1936 il governo irlandese istituì una nuova compagnia aerea civile la Aer Lingus, che iniziò ad operare dall'aeroporto militare di Casement Aerodrome a Baldonnel a sud-ovest di Dublino. Successivamente fu presa la decisione di aprire un aeroporto civile che avrebbe dovuto sostituire Baldonnel come aeroporto della città. Venne scelta una località a nord della capitale. La costruzione del nuovo aeroporto iniziò nel 1937 ed entro la fine del 1939 l'aeroporto fu dotato di una superficie d'erba, strade interne, parcheggi, energia elettrica ed illuminazione. Il volo inaugurale da Dublino ha avuto luogo il 19 gennaio 1940 a Liverpool. Nel 1940 furono iniziati i lavori su un nuovo edificio terminal dell'aeroporto. L'edificio del terminal, progettato dall'architetto Desmond FitzGerald fratello del politico Garret FitzGerald, venne aperto nei primi mesi del 1941, con il suo design fortemente influenzato dai ponti dei transatlantici di lusso del tempo. Al terminal fu assegnato il "Triennial Gold Medal" della Royal Hibernian Institute ed è oggi un edificio storico. Dopo lo scoppio della seconda guerra mondiale, i servizi furono gravemente limitati all'aeroporto di Dublino fino al termine del 1945 e l'unica linea internazionale che operò durante questo periodo fu l'Aer Lingus. Tre nuove piste in cemento furono completate nel 1947.

L'espansione degli anni '50 e '60
Nel corso degli 50' l'aeroporto di Dublino ebbe un inarrestabile crescita del traffico aereo. Vennero effettuate delle estensioni delle piste e miglioramenti ai terminal per affrontare l'afflusso crescente di traffico e di passeggeri. Nuove compagnie aeree incominciarono ad atterrare nell'aeroporto incluso British Airways, Sabena e BKS.Inoltre nel 1958 fu avviato un nuovo servizio transatlantico da Aer Lingus. Nel corso del 1960 il numero delle compagnie di linea continuò a crescere e gli aerei incominciarono ad evolversi con il progresso tecnologico. Alla fine del 1960, un numero considerevole di Boeing 737, BAC One- Eleven, Boeing 707, e Hawker Siddeley Tridenti stavano transitando nell'aeroporto su una base regolare. Durante il 1969, l'aeroporto di Dublino gestì ben 1.737.151 passeggeri!.

Per far fronte a questo, un nuovo terminal passeggeri in grado di gestire cinque milioni di passeggeri l'anno fu inaugurato nel 1972. Tuttavia la crescita prevista dell'aeroporto non si verificò immediatamente negli anni '70 a scapito di chi aveva stanziato fondi come l'Aer Lingus.

Proseguendo negli anni '80
Nel 1983 Aer Lingus aprì la sua nuova divisione 'Aer Lingus Commuter', che prese in consegna Shorts, Saab AB e velivoli turboelica Fokker per aprire, per la prima volta, servizi nazionali giornalieri da e per piccoli aeroporti regionali irlandesi e piccoli aeroporti regionali nel Regno Unito. Nelle varie fasi delle sue operazioni, i voli furono operati verso diversi aeroporti regionali irlandesi per accrescere il numero di passeggeri nella rete internazionale della Aer Lingus. Queste destinazioni nazionali inclusi l'aeroporto di Cork, di Shannon, di Kerry, Galway, Ireland West Airport Knock, l'aeroporto di Waterford, di Sligo e City of Derry in Irlanda del Nord. Aer Lingus Commuter da allora fu riassorbito nell'azienda principale. Le rotte nazionali, ad eccezione di Dublino-Shannon, sono state rilevate da Aer Arann, compreso le tratte di Derry in Irlanda del Nord; la maggior parte di queste rotte furono da allora interrotte. Aer Lingus ha continuato con i restanti voli Dublino-Regno Unito.

Durante il 1980, la maggiore concorrenza, in particolare sulle rotte Dublino-Londra, ha determinato un aumento del numero di passeggeri a 5,1 milioni nel 1989. Nello stesso anno furono aperti una nuova pista di 8.650 piedi (2.640 m) e un nuovo centro di controllo del traffico aereo. L'aeroporto di Dublino continuò ad espandersi rapidamente per tutto il 1990. Il Molo A, che era stato la prima estensione al vecchio edificio del terminal, fu significativamente esteso. Un nuovo Molo C, con i ponti aerei, fu costruito e appena questo fu completato, furono riavviati i lavori per estenderlo e per raddoppiare la sua capacità. Il piano terra dell'edificio del terminal originale è stato restituito al servizio passeggeri dopo molti anni per fornire gate di partenza aggiuntivi. Il Molo D, completato nel mese di ottobre 2007, è una zona d'imbarco dedicata ai voli low-cost e fornisce 14 stand e gate di partenza; questi non sono serviti da ponti aerei.

Galleria d'immagini

Note

Altri progetti

Collegamenti esterni

Dublino
Trasporti a Dublino


text:
COVID-19 Videos (2020)
"Times Square, Blue" is the first short video where I bike to some of NYC's iconic public sites to think about how their meaning has been altered, for me, during the COVID-19 crisis. In this video, I ride on April 7, 2019, through a deserted but effulgent Times Square and reflected on the emotional toll that the crisis has had on me.
"Liberty Laid Bare" is the second short video where I bike to some of NYC's iconic public sites to think about how their meaning has been altered, for me, during the COVID-19 crisis. In this video, I filmed the Statute of Liberty from Battery Park on April 12, 2020, thinking about the possibilities laid forth by this political crisis. Edited to an excerpt from "An Ending (Ascent)" by Brian Eno.
"EMPIRE" is the third short video where I bike to some of NYC's iconic public sites to think about how their meaning has been altered, for me, during the COVID-19 crisis. In this video, on April 18, 2020, I visit the Empire State Building, and revisit the history of the building, which was built in 1931 as a symbol of hope in a country devastated by the Great Depression. Edited to the top song of the same year, "Dancing in the Dark" by Fred Waring & The Pennsylvanians.
"Distance" is the fourth short video where I bike to some of NYC's iconic public sites to think about how their meaning has been altered, for me, during the COVID-19 crisis. In this music video poem from April 26, 2020, I visit the Manhattan Bridge and think about human traces, transfers, touch, absence, and imposed distance. Edited to an original soundtrack by Alejandra Tokatlian.
"PPE" is the fifth short video I made in quarantine. In this little performance-for-the-camera, shot in my NYC studio on April 30, 2020, I struggle with the personal protective equipment (PPE) that has become such part a big part of our daily life.
"The Weight of the World on Our Shoulders" is the sixth short video where I bike to some of NYC's iconic public sites to think about how their meaning has been altered, for me, during the COVID-19 crisis. In this video, made in collaboration with musician Shawn Hansen and artist Luca Cruz Salvati, I go the Metropolitan Museum of Art (MET) on May 1st, International Workers' Day, to visit the four caryatids that stand on the museum's façade, designed in 1902 by Karl Britter, to represent Painting, Sculpture, Architecture, and Music and think about the future of artists, art workers, and art institutions in a broken economy.