text:
Almost Infamous
Words of wisdom from a black intelligentleman. Come for the humor, stay for the diatribes.
Damianitions
Donate for Apnea! Or a bass!
Countdown to History
You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Diatribes' category.
Damian's Deconstructive Diatribe
June 13, 2010 in Diatribes, General | by Dark Damian | 1 comment
I shouldn't've left you
Without a strong rhyme to step to"
If you're unfamiliar with the great works of Eric B. and Rakim, slap yourself. You need to re-educate your mind and apologize for not knowing. I'll wait.
I hope I can remember how to do one of these…it's been so long, the Gulf of Mexico was actually leaded instead of unleaded. But I'm back, ready to try on these old-comfy houseshoes that I call my 'tribes, so I can see if they still fit. And if they don't, I'll be a-stretching these bitches out until they do. You ready? Are you? Let's do it, then.
A former manager at a local McDonald's chain was arrested Thursday evening after allegedly pocketing nearly $70,000 in bank deposits, officials said. Germaine Leopold Hodge, 32, remained in Bexar County Jail on a charge of misapplication of fiduciary property. Bail was set at $50,000. An arrest affidavit states that after several shift managers left McDonald's, Hodge ended up being responsible for depositing all of the restaurant proceeds. After about a year of doing this, the restaurant's owner found that dozens of deposits were never made, the affidavit states. Investigators learned the missing deposits totaled $67,336. When the owner approached Hodge about the missing deposits, he provided inaccurate receipts and later gave his resignation. Hodge told the owner that he was resigning because he'd been diagnosed with cancer and provided a doctor's note, which stated he needed to start radiation therapy immediately, the affidavit states. The owner told police the doctor's note was from an obstetrics and gynecology office and that the phone number provided for the physician belonged to Hodge. The affidavit didn't state if the money was recovered.
There's so much here, I'm not sure where to begin, really. How about this – who embezzles from McDonald's? This is about one step up from robbing a hobo for his wine change, but still a step or two down from "kicking a Coke machine until nickels fall out" and "Working for Enron". This is the height of stupidity, because honestly, only a small handful of people actually handle the deposits for any given Mickey D's, and once some money goes missing, it's just a matter of time before they track down the master thief in the golden arches hat. Mr. Hodge further compounds his rampant and unchecked stupidity by taking a LOT of money from a place that won't accept anything higher than a $20. What I'm amazed at is how he was able to amass 70 grand over the course of a year without someone catching on. Hell, when I worked retail, if I was $0.20 short in my cash drawer, they were giving me hell about financial responsibility and attention to detail. And Bernie Madoff here was sneaking home a crazy amount of french fry-smelling greenbacks without someone noticing that the nightly receipts and the bank deposits were matching like plaid and polka dots? But you do have to admire Hodge's commitment to evading capture. Faking cancer? Brilliant! I mean, everyone knows that cancer shows no obvious symptoms, and that most people quit their jobs and drop their insurance coverage because cancer treatment is so affordable. Hey, he can just use some of that fry money! And everyone knows that a doctor's note saying that you have cancer can come from any doctor, really. Who actually knows what an OB/GYN does, anyway? They COULD treat men. It could happen. And if a guy got cervical cancer, it would be a really big deal requiring such a note from the OB/GYN, right? And the phone number was Hodge's because…well, he's a doctor. There, I said it. It had been a secret, but now we all know that Germaine Leopold ("Leopold"? Seriously?) Hodges is in fact Dr. Germaine Leopold Hodges, M.D., Ph.D., Ed.D., Heavy D., and Kool Moe Dee. How you like me now?
DETROIT, Ore. — A Detroit woman received minor injuries Saturday morning when her SUV left Highway 22 just west of Big Cliff Dam and Detroit Lake, ending up partially submerged in the Santiam River – reportedly as she tried to put sugar in her coffee, Oregon State Police said.According to OSP Senior Trooper Derek Bischoff, around 9:30 a.m., an SUV driven by Trena Fiels, 42, was westbound on Highway 22 near milepost 38. Fiels reportedly was trying to put sugar in a cup of coffee while driving and she drove off the roadway, over-corrected to the left and across the highway and a large shoulder turnout before going down a 40-foot embankment. The vehicle came to rest partially submerged in the Santiam River. Fiels was using safety restraints and received minor injuries. She was transported by ambulance to an area hospital.
OK, folks: when you're driving a vehicle, DRIVE THE VEHICLE. This is not Star Wars. The car will not drive itself, even if the cruise control is on. The car will not continue to drive straight if you let go of the wheel. You should not be putting sugar in coffee while driving. You should not be reading the paper, applying makeup (even if you really need it), playing Sudoku, filling out W-2 forms, eating bacon (OK, eating bacon is allowable under ALL circumstances, so ignore that statement. I'm obviously over-tired and not thinking right), or putting Armor All on your dashboard. She's lucky that SUV was only partially submerged – it means the SUV realized that no one was driving it, and it did all it could to stop the woman from outright killing herself and ruining all of the SUV's upholstery. At some point she had to think "This really is quite unwise", right? No way could she have gone from start to finish with that bit of genius on display without some part of her brain tugging on her consciousness and saying "Um…not to be a stick in the mud, but shouldn't you be NOT doing that while in motion? That coffee is hot as hell."
DENVER, Colorado — Clear Creek sheriff's deputies arrested a rafting guide for swimming to a stranded young rafter who had tumbled from his boat on Clear Creek. Ryan Daniel Snodgrass, a 28-year- old guide with Arkansas Valley Adventures rafting company, was charged after the Thursday incident with "obstructing government operations," Clear Creek Sheriff Don Krueger said. "He was told not to go in the water, and he jumped in and swam over to the victim and jeopardized the rescue operation," said Krueger, noting that his office was deciding whether to file similar charges against another guide at the scene Thursday on Clear Creek just downstream from Kermitts Roadhouse on U.S. 6. Duke Bradford, owner of Arkansas Valley Adventures, said Snodgrass did the right thing by contacting the 13-year-old Texas girl immediately and not waiting for the county's volunteer search-and-rescue team to assemble ropes, rafts and personnel. Snodgrass stayed with the girl until the other rescuers could use a line and raft to bring her and him out of the river. He was then arrested. Krueger said the girl was missing for 30 to 45 minutes while Snodgrass and other guides searched for her. He said she swam a half-mile from the spot where the raft capsized. Because it had been so long, Krueger said, it was no longer the rafting company's rescue. "They should involve themselves up to a point. They lost contact," Krueger said. "Whether they want to say they were trying to rescue their customer, when they had lost visual contact and had no idea where their customer has been for 30 to 45 minutes, then it becomes our issue."
Let's do a little recap, shall we? Yes, we shall.
13 year old girl falls out of a boat on the river
Rafting guide locates girl in water, alive.
Rafting guide does his job and saves the girl
The county's SAR team got its panties in a bunch because he went all Tom Cruise and they were sitting around like Val Kilmer. ("Top Gun" reference. Look it up.)
Rafting guide – correction, HERO rafting guide who SAVED A GIRL'S LIFE – is arrested, for realzies, when got out of the water.
Snodgrass did the right thing – the unequivocal right thing by ANY standard, and got arrested by the freakin' Brute Squad because he took some shine off their rescue attempt. An attempt that could've been better organized by blind 5 year olds who were also trying to solve a differential equations problem while tap dancing downhill during a Dallas ice storm. Backwards. Listen, I'm not saying that Arkansas Valley Adventures is totally innocent here…after all, they did lose sight of the girl for a while, which I'm assuming is a big ol' rescuin' no-no. But at the point when they located her, even if the County Rescue and Taxidermy Team was doing their impersonation of a Chinese fire drill, they should be legally allowed to rescue her, right? If I drop my wallet, I should be allowed to pick it up, even if I temporarily lose sight of it (which I wouldn't, given that it's my ultra-cool Clemson-themed prized wallet and all). I shouldn't have to wait for the Dallas County Wallet Rescue Rangers to call a meeting, slide down their firemen's pole, get their Ghostbusters proton packs and assemble at the scene with a bullhorn in one hand and a Hostess cupcake in the other. It makes no sense, much like that analogy I just tried to wedge in here. I've been rafting, and if I fell out of the boat, I'm damned sure I'd want the first rescue-capable person to rescue me, and not have him say "Yeah, about that…" while he stared at my bobbing black ass in the water. Don't cut the red tape…just use it to fish a chick out of the water, people. Basics.
Damian's Deconstructive (and Delayed) Diatribe
March 15, 2009 in Diatribes | by Dark Damian | 2 comments
What up, pimps and pimpettes? The Ides of March are upon us! (Google it if you don't know. I ain't your damn Wikinegropedia.) I finally got off the schnide and decided to crank out a 'tribe, just to see if I still have it. I'm gonna so my best to at least write more frequently than once per month, because I DO have some cool things going on. For example, even though I quit the band a few months ago, I'm still playing music, now with my friends Sarah and Dru. It's a lot of fun, very relaxed and low-key, and perfect for me. We don't have a name, but we do have a good time when we perform. Also, DWW and I saw "Gran Torino" last night – that's right, a real movie, in the movie theater! And not even a matinee! "Gran Torino" is great, people. Go see it if you haven't. And take a notepad, 'cause you're gonna hear racial slurs that you ain't never heard in your natural life, and hundreds of 'em coming at rapid fire. It was impressive in its ingenuity and vulgarity. I recommend you go see it. But before you do…
..let's diatribe. Yeah.
(Asheville Citizen-Times) ARDEN – A man who arrived home Friday after a flight got quite a surprise when he opened his suitcase. Firefighters responded about 10:15 p.m. to a residence on Rocky Mountain Way in Arden. The man arrived home after landing in Charlotte, opened his baggage and saw a snake, Skyland Fire Department Capt. Kevin Bartlett said. "He stepped back and called us. We went in and determined it was a rubber snake," Barlett said. "We handed it to him and left." Bartlett said the man did not know where the snake came from or who could have put it there.
The Citizen-Times writes this story as though homeboy did something wrong by calling the fire department upon finding an unbeknownst reptile amongst his boxer briefs and poorly-wrapped snow globe from Dayton, Ohio. In fact, if that was me, several things would've happened in quick succession:
I would have immediately and completely soiled my own boxer briefs.
I would have screamed like a bitch.
My screaming would have incited even more fear-induced defecation, which would have subsequently surprised me in its fullness, given that I had just now finished jacking up my undies a few minutes prior.
I would have leaped to the ceiling fan and clung to it like Shaggy or Scooby-Doo upon witnessing something spooky.
If my cell phone made it through my bowel evacuation without damage or shame of associating with me, I would called every agency known to mankind, including the fire department, the police, the FBI, the CIA (what? I have their number), FEMA, the ATF, the Armed Forces, the DEA, the Border Patrol, the Coast Guard, the Insane Clown Posse, the Fantastic Four, and my momma.
And if the captain of the fire department had even THOUGHT TO THINK ABOUT handing me the fake snake, I would have beaten him about the head and face with it, 'cause Homie don't play that. I don't like snakes, man. My actions would totally be justified. As for this guy…I think he needs to stick to carry-ons from here on out.
(Orlando News) OCALA, Fla. — Authorities are trying to figure out who dropped four 55-gallon trash bags filled with marijuana by the side of an Ocala road. The Marion County Sheriff's Office reports that inmates working with the county's solid waste department found the bags on Thursday. Drug agents say the bags weighed a total of nearly 65 pounds. Officials are investigating where the bags came from.
Ok, does anyone see the latent irony in that inmates found these bags of weed? I think the story is incomplete, 'cause I'm pretty sure the original number of bags was slightly higher (heh – I said "higher") than 4. I'm thinking it was more like 10, and right now there's 6 55-gallon bags of Mary Jane chillin' in the back of someone's Tahoe. That, or Snoop Dogg stopped by to use it as a day's supply. I don't know much about the value of maryjawanna, but I'm thinking that it's valuable enough that there's someone REALLY missing their income generator/medicine/relaxation medium. Also, it speaks to the overall level of responsibility of the nimrods in charge of the pot, that they let 4 full-ass bags go missing. I'd like to think that, in this economy, 220 gallons of weed would be sorely missed by whoever paid for that shit, so I'm guessing there's a couple of Cheech and Chong wannabes who had a whole lot of explaining to do to their boss.
(Kitsap Sun) SILVERDALE — A 55-year-old Silverdale man was booked into Kitsap County jail on suspicion of assaulting his wife of 28 years after she contacted an old boyfriend on Facebook. The woman reported to Kitsap County sheriff's deputies that she had connected over the Internet with a man she had dated 32 years ago. The woman had told her husband about it and "he appeared OK" with it, the sheriff's report said. On Friday, she told deputies that her husband had become upset with the Facebook contact and demanded to know her password. Later that day, he called her 18 times at work, even though she told him to stop. Her told her to "tell everyone at work goodbye," which she took as a death threat. The woman was scared, so she went to her mother's house. The woman also reported that on March 7, her husband had assaulted her at their home on the 10000 block of Marigold Drive NW, causing bruises and a bloody nose. The deputy's report noted that the woman has bruises on her body. When the suspect arrived, deputies questioned him about his wife's allegations of telephone harassment and assault, and his only response was to repeatedly say how much he loved her. The report states the suspect appeared intoxicated. He was taken to Harrison Medical Center in Bremerton until his condition stabilized. He was then taken to the jail and booked on suspicion of telephone harassment and fourth-degree assault. His bail was set at $40,000.
Um…wow. Talk about insecure. Honestly, if it's been 32 years since your woman dated some guy, and she's been with you for 28 of those years, It's most likely that you've got her, man. She's yours. Some guy she dated from when "The Empire Strikes Back" was in theaters the FIRST time shouldn't be much of an imminent threat. In fact, I'm guessing he's about as far removed from the guy she dated as…you are from the guy she married. Do you think she'd jump ship for some paunchy, balding, Cheeto-eating, recliner-sitting, shorts with black socks-wearing, pickup truck-driving dude who is more or less a carbon copy (which you're old enough to remember) of you? Well shit – on second thought, given that you have the additional benefit of talking with your hands (and not in the cool Helen Keller way, either) when you're expressing your inner thoughts and feelings, maybe going back in time like that would be a step up for your poor spouse, man. And really, if anyone should be getting jealous, it should be her. After all, you're about to go into one of the oldest social networking organizations around, where you'll be meeting all kinds of new people, many of whom will be very interested in pursuing a "more than friends" relationship with you. And to make matters worse, it's one of those 3-D, full-immersion type deals that you'll be completely consumed by, day and night, 24 hours a day. It's called "Prison". How can she expect to compete with THAT? You're gonna learn a new meaning of the term "super poke".
Mini-Diatribe: Because I Care. Sorta.
August 6, 2008 in Diatribes, General | by Dark Damian | 6 comments
It's been ages since I've done a diatribe, mainly because I suck. I admit it openly. For some reason, I've lost my a lot of my drive for the long-form narrative, which happens to be my specialty. At the same time (and not to toot my own horn, because if I COULD toot my own horn, you'd never hear from me again – tangent), I do realize that there are folks who enjoy checking my little piece of virtual real estate to see what nonsense I've spewed most recently. I have not done a good job of supplying you with the freshness, so I'm gonna try a new tactic: shorter posts.
In keeping with that notion, I'm gonna give you a little diatribe, a diatribe junior, if you will. Maybe it'll help jump-start my muses, those lazy bitches.
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — Police arrested a man and charged him with second-degree kidnapping after a brief standoff at a lingerie store. Matthew Alexander Rivera, 27, of Hope Mills, was arrested by the Fayetteville Police Department after a standoff at "Priscilla's" at 3800 Sycamore Dairy Road. Officers responded to a possible robbery. Upon arrival they were notified that the subject was still inside the business with the store manager, and was in possession of a device that appeared to be a bomb. Nearby businesses were evacuated and roads near the business were blocked off to traffic.Officials say Rivera surrendered without further incident. He is charged with second-degree kidnapping and perpetrating a hoax by use of a false bomb. The Fayetteville Observer reported that the bomb was made out of Play-Doh, batteries and a wire arranged to look like an explosive. Rivera is currently in the Cumberland County Detention Center under a $25,000 bond.
Boy, did I pick a doozy to come back with! Now, before I truly start breaking down the story of this MENSA candidate and his brilliant scheme, let me first put his picture up for all to see. You'll thank me for this.
OK. Please. Someone tell me what the deal is with the facial tats. Or was this simply a fingerprinting incident gone awry? Obviously a man who decides that a lingerie store (I bet he pronounces it "LING uh REE") is the ideal place for a hold-up has brains in his favor, right? This is not an interviewing face. This is not the face of a man filling out applications for Applebee's or college admission. This is the face of a man who has watched "Jackass" like it was research for his doctoral thesis. This is the face of a man who thinks Hot Pockets are Nature's perfect food. This is the face of a man who expected to find a windfall in a place that sells thongs and teddies, a place where most purchases are probably made via check or credit card. Absolutely brilliant. Now, let's look beyond the Mike Tyson/Locutus of Borg/Run Over By A Tractor exterior, and look at the crime itself. At what point did Priscilla's become a hot spot for robbery? Was every 7-Eleven and Circle K closed that day? Hell, even Racetrac would probably just hand over the cash, and you'd get a Mountain Dew icee in the process. What was he aiming for at a lingerie store? A free pair of cheetah-print thongs? Secondly, using a bomb to hold up a store is chock full of fail. It's like using a Chevy Avalanche to iron your friend's clothes. While he's still wearing them. And for the love of all that's holy, if you're going to use a bomb threat to score the $262.51 from the register at Priscilla's, please make sure you have something that more closely resembles a REAL bomb, and not something that looks like a 4 year old should be eating it. For the uninitiated, Play-Doh semi sorta looks like C4, or plastic explosives. Make no mistake – plastic explosives are very powerful and devastating, and not to be trifled with. The thing is, a guy like ol' Matthew here has about as much chance of actually getting some plastic explosives in his possession as I have of getting Kim Kardashian's booty to return my phone calls. As a cop, when I walk into the lingerie store where a bomb threat has been called in, I'm more nervous than Al Gore waiting for royalty checks from inventing the internet. But when I see this contraption that looks like it was shoplifted from Toys 'R' Us and assembled by a ruthless gang of 4 year olds, I think I'd have a hard time cuffing ol' Archimedes on account of all the laughter-induced convulsions. I wonder if he'll post bond with Monopoly money.
April 28, 2008 in Diatribes | by Dark Damian | 12 comments
It's been awhile, hasn't it? Oh yeah, ever since I got yelled at for basically pointing out the ridiculous nature of a crime I outlined in an earlier diatribe. After all that back and forty, I considered retiring, laying down my figurative pen, leaving the news-telling to the professionals….yeah, right. As if I was gonna stop diatribing because one person got her thong in a twist over something I said. You all know me better than that. I'm gonna keep rollin' till the wheels fall off. The diatribe is my go-to move; my hook shot in the lane, my left jab, guitar lift when I have full star power while playing Guitar Hero III. It is, has been, and will be the signature piece of this blog, and I'm ready to ramp it up and offend more people. After all, it's what I do. So let's do it!
NORTH HUNTINGDON, Pa. — A former Norwin homecoming queen accused of attacking her sister with a prosthetic leg and threatening to burn down a neighbor's trailer was ordered on Wednesday to go to rehab. Donna Sturkie-Anthony showed up for her preliminary hearing before District Judge Douglas Weimer, but the 41-year-old woman's hearing was continued so she can go to Greenbriar Treatment Center. Police said Sturkie-Anthony's sister came to visit her at Lincoln Mobile Home Park on Route 30 in January, and the two started arguing about her alcohol abuse. Then, police said Sturkie-Anthony pulled off her sister's prosthetic leg and beat her with it. In that case, Sturkie-Anthony was charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person and harassment. About three weeks later, police said, Anthony stole her neighbor's telephone and then threatened to burn down their trailer if they testified against her. She faces charges of intimidation of witnesses or victims and terroristic threats in the case involving her neighbors. "The police, they call for backup when they come up here to deal with her," said another neighbor, who asked not to be identified. "They know who she is." Sturkie-Anthony was being held without bond in the Westmoreland County Prison. Police said it's because she is a danger to others and herself.
This is all kinds of messed up. There's so much here, I don't even know how to get at all of it. It's bullet time, folks.
From homecoming queen to living in a trailer park? This is Chapter 4 in How Not To Live Your Life. Read the book, not the Cliff's Notes. Chapters 1-3 are Stay In School, And Not Just In The 3rd Stall, You Shouldn't Dress Like That If You Want Him To Respect You, and Lotto Is Not A Career. Reading is fundamental.
Nothing fuels an argument against being a drunk like beating the accuser with her own prosthetic. Replacing a prosthetic leg is expensive, folks. A couple weeks ago, Coach F stepped funny on his, and something broke inside of it, and he said it would cost about $18,000 to get a new one. Now, I'm sure the sister's leg didn't cost $18,000, but even a $29.95 leg is hard to replace in this tough economy. This poor lady might have to walk around with two broomsticks with some CD cases on the bottom of 'em attached to her thigh with duct tape (black, not gray, because black goes with everything) until her Blue Burning Cross/Blue Shield insurance can get her another one from Costco. It all adds up, people.
Can someone please tell me the benefit of threatening the neighbor? I mean, I seriously doubt Bubba and Jimmie Sue were going to narc her out to the po-po – you know good and damn well that Bubba probably has an outstanding warrant for public intoxication and indecent exposure hisdamnself. So with that thought, why steal their phone? It probably wasn't even cordless…it's not like trailers are measured in square feet. They're measured more in the number of Cheez-Its you can lay in a square grid, meaning having a cordless phone is kinda like having 100 mph on the speedometer of a Hyundai. You're not fooling anyone.
Burning down the trailer is overkill, anyway. Just circle the address on a map, and mail it to God. He'll send a tornado like he always does. Or a tow truck. Either or.
The funniest thing about this all is the fact that she's so well-known that the cops call backup before they even RESPOND to calls to her house. I'm sure, back in high school, she was the cream of the crop, but that's pretty much where the trail(er) runs cold for her. Oh well…I'm sure she'll be voted Most Likely to Beat Ass on Cellblock C with her charm and personality. Here's to hoping.
Thomas Beatie, who used to be a woman, appeared in the most recent issue of The Advocate, a magazine for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender readers, Portland, Ore., television station KPTV reported. Beatie wrote the article, which includes a picture of him while he was 22 weeks pregnant. According to the story, he went through a sex change, but decided only to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy. Beatie was able to keep the reproductive organs he was born with. The article said he stopped getting the injections and was able to get pregnant. Beatie, who lives in Bend, wrote he was once pregnant with triplets, but the pregnancy was life-threatening and he lost the fetuses. Now, Beatie said he and his wife, Nancy, are expecting a little girl in July. In the article, Beatie described some of the challenges he and his wife have faced — they said doctors won't treat them. The couple met 10 years ago and Nancy is not able to have children. He wrote in The Advocate that their situation "sparks legal, political and social unknowns." The couple were out of town Monday and unable to speak with the station.
Whoooooooa. Whoa. Whoa. Let me get this straight – there's a magazine for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people, and I didn't know about it? That's a travesty! They better stock that in the magazine aisle in Wal-Mart, dammit. Am I the only person who read this and thought about seahorses? (See, the male seahorse carries the fetus, and…wait, what am I, Wikipedia? Look it up yourself.) I've always been fascinated by things like this: a woman marrying a man who used to be a woman, and who only has the lessened chesticles and testosterone therapy, which all sounds like "female Russian bodybuilder" at first blush. It's very fucked up that doctors won't treat them…after all, the child inside deserves the best health care, and did nothing to the prudish doctors. And he/she/it/that certainly didn't choose those fucked-up parents, for that matter. So what if you disagree with the woman who's now a man (almost) who wants to have a baby with his wife, who presumably always has been a woman, but who really knows? Who is the woman who marries a man who is only halfway over the gender fence? (Good thing he's not a man going to woman, 'cause his junk would get caught in the chain links. And that shit hurts like the dickens. Pardon the pun.) I hope the mofather…the famother….the seahorse gets the full medical attention that he and his offspring so desperately need and deserve. And naturally, I hope the National Inquirer is there with some paparazzi. Those pics will go on my fridge, baby.
PARIS (11) – Pirates have freed 30 hostages held aboard a French tourist yacht off Somalia's coast for the past week, French President Nicolas Sarkozy said Friday. Pirates seized the yacht, called Le Ponant, in the Gulf of Aden on April 4. It was carrying 30 crew members, including 22 French citizens and six citizens of the Philippines.
Damn, Elle. I know you're pissed about the blog and the 'roid and all that, but for the love of Al B. Sure, quit kidnapping people! Just go buy you some Tucks pads and some witch hazel and call it a day. Damn pirates. I swear. Always starting shit.
Absent-minded professor dad buys lemonade for his kid at a baseball game. Turns out it's a Mike's Hard Lemonade. After a guard spots the bottle, the kid is whisked away to the hospital in an ambulance (!) where they found no trace of alcohol in his blood about 90 minutes later. The doctors said he was OK to go, but instead he wound up in foster care. It was "two days before the state of Michigan allowed Ratte's wife, U-M architecture professor Claire Zimmerman, to take their son home, and nearly a week before [dad Christopher] Ratte was permitted to move back into his own house." Everyone involved seems to have come down with a serious case of "just following orders". The sympathetic cop who interviewed Ratte and his son at the hospital said she was convinced what happened had been an accident, but that her supervisor was insisting the matter be referred to Child Protective Services. And Ratte thought the two child protection workers who came to take Leo away seemed more annoyed with the police than with him. "This is so unnecessary," one told Ratte before driving away with his son.
Good thing the kid didn't ask for some ice tea from Long Island. I agree that the authorities in this case went a tad too far in all this, but really – you'd think the professor would at least read the bottle, where it mentions its alcohol content, before giving it to his kid. And you'd also think that perhaps the person who sold it to him would've objected when he spotted the Nutty Professor giving the bottle to little Billy – but then again, given their wages and the sheer number of drunken asshats buying 4 beers at a time, he should be happy he got correct change, much less a lesson on effective parenting. In all this, though, one thing has been sorely overlooked – Mike's Hard Lemonade must be some weak-ass shit, if it couldn't even give a kid a buzz. How many of those things would you have to drink to actually get drunk? 38? I think you'd have a better chance with REAL lemonade than with that watered-down Shirley Temple in a bottle. Hell, I bet a Zima would've….wait, let's not take this too far. I wouldn't wish Zima on anyone. The other curious thing about this story is the speed at which Child Protective Services descended upon this family over an honest mistake, while consistently not helping kids with much more obvious signs of abuse and mistreatment. Time to refocus, CPS. At best, this was an honest mistake, and at worst, he's the coolest dad in the history of ever.
A combination of alcohol, bees and a gun resulted in a Williamsburg man making a trip to the hospital Sunday. The incident happened around 2:00 Sunday yesterday afternoon in Frankstown Township in the Canoe Creek area. According to police 57-year-old David Walls had been drinking when he tried to shoot down some bees flying above him using a .22 caliber revolver loaded with buckshot. Walls ended up shooting himself in the left hand causing soft tissue damage. Walls was treated and released at Altoona Regional Health System.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(breathe)
Really, I have nothing else other than this. Then again, nothing else is really required, now is it? I think not.
February 21, 2008 in Diatribes, General | by Dark Damian | 3 comments
Lawd have mercy, Kim Kardashian. I never even heard of you before you made that sex tape with singer Brandy's little brother Ray J, and now you've completely overtaken Eva Mendes in my "I Would Hurt Myself Getting With Her" poll. Have you seen her pics? My monitor damn-near melted, and I KNOW I saw some condensation on my glasses. I'm so glad you're famous, Kim K. Welcome to my world. In other news, my band has a gig Friday night at the Ridglea Theater in Fort Worth, and a brotha is NERVOUS! It's a huge show for us, and this venue is one of the premier places in the Metroplex – and we're HEADLINING. So if you're in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area, get your Kardashian-sized booty on down to the show.
Y'all ready for this? Well then, without delay…let's diatribe.
(go Obama!)
UXBRIDGE, Mass. — A convicted Level 3 sex offender has won $10 million in the Massachusetts State Lottery. The Worcester Gazette & Telegram reports 56-year-old Daniel Snay, of Uxbridge, could now face charges because he failed to notify authorities that he had moved, according to Connecticut State Police."I'm flabbergasted," Connecticut State Police Lt. Paul Vance told the Telegram. "His whereabouts, until you told me about this, have been unknown to us. But I guess you could say he's very fortunate." Snay works driving trucks for a yacht dealership in Mendon. He won the $10 million from a $20 scratch ticket purchased at Cumberland Farms in Hopedale. But the lottery winnings also come with unwanted publicity."He was concerned, but there's not much you can do about it," said Snay's lawyer Joseph M. Fabricotti. "We talked about it and he understood this was one of the repercussions that could happen." Snay's record of sexual assaults dates back to 1974. He has been convicted six times of indecent assault and battery in Massachusetts. Level 3 offenders are considered the most dangerous and the most likely to commit another crime.
Some guys have all the luck. Not that being a Level 3 sex offender is lucky, per se, but he's a Level 3 sex offender with 10 million reasons not to be a recidivist again. ("Recidivist", folks, means "repeat offender". I'm here to help.) And this is the second convicted felon in a couple of months who hit the lottery. Is this the key? Do I need to commit a felony, get caught and convicted, and then released after serving my time? Shouldn't be TOO hard – I'm black and in the south, after all. Shit ain't fair, man. Honestly though, he's got bigger fish to fry now than whether NAMBLA has his most current mailing address, because now his neighbors know that he's a sex offender AND he's got $10 million. This is a potentially lethal double-whammy, because not only do the Johnsons suddenly learn that nice Mr. Snay is a sex offender of the highest order, but he's RICH, bitch! Can't you see how this is gonna play out now? Let's examine:
(knock on the door)
Sex offender: "Yeah, who is it?"
Kid: "Billy, from across the street. Say, let me borrow $500,000 and your vacuum cleaner."
SO: "Say what?"
Kid: "You heard me, Perv Griffin. Give me the loot. And make it snappy…"The Fairly OddParents is coming on."
SO: "Um…no. Go away. "
Kid: "So, you're saying you're NOT gonna give me what I want, Mr. Level 3 Sex Offender? And don't try anything – I've got a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle walkie-talkie taped to my chest, and my dad's got the cops on speed dial. Don't get any ideas."
SO (sighing): "Do you take a check?"
Kid: "The only check I'll take from you is a background check. Pay me in dimes, mofo."
(And if you don't know what NAMBLA is, google it yourself. I will NOT put a link to them on my blog. I won't even link to the Wikipedia entry. Damn all that.)
CORSICANA – Police say the driver of a bus filled with about 40 former prison inmates abandoned the vehicle Thursday along a highway because her working hours for the day were over. The passengers had been paroled or released from the state prison in Huntsville. Some wore ankle bracelet monitors. They were aboard a Greyhound charter headed to a bus terminal in Dallas, but wound up 60 miles short. "In 31 years in law enforcement I've never seen anything like this," Corsicana Police Sgt. Lamoin Lawhon told the Corsicana Daily Sun. Police said the bus was chartered from Greyhound Bus Lines Inc. The driver pulled over in front of a convenience store around 4 p.m. and told the passengers her allotted driving time was up and another driver was on the way. A clerk in the convenience store called police. Officers arrived to find the former prisoners milling around the bus. Police said dispatchers exchanged several phone calls with Greyhound officials and the Texas Department of Criminal Justice in Austin. Lawhon and two other officers stayed with the bus and the parolees. Just before 7 p.m., a second bus arrived with three drivers – including the one who had abandoned her passengers in the first place, Lawhon said. Greyhound spokesman Dustin Clark declined to identify the driver who left the bus. He said company officials were investigating the incident. "It is a very serious matter," he said. Clark said drivers have to follow strict guidelines on consecutive working hours and rest periods. Police said there were no incidents involving the passengers while they were stranded. "Their behavior was exemplary," said Officer Travis Wallace.
See, this is the essence of following the letter of the law, but not the spirit. When 4 o'clock struck, Ms. Buslady pulled over, slid down the brontosaurus tail, and broke out. Post office employees don't leave with that level of quickness, and they had to deal with the anthrax AND with holiday shipping. What isn't explained is (a) why didn't she find out some important things ahead of time, such as when they were leaving, how long it takes to get there…little things like that, which could've helped the dumb woman figure out her schedule a bit better, and (b) how she got home (or back to work, from the sounds of things) after she abandoned these folks. Did she have a car waiting? If so, the whole thing was premeditated, and that's pretty fucked up. Did she take a taxi? It would've cost her more to take a cab home than the amount of overtime pay she might've received had she worked just a little while longer. Seriously, I can't figure out why she chose that time and that place to just abandon these people tryin' to make it to Dallas so they could see 2932093 malls and the place where JFK got shot. And whatever her plan was, it was doomed for failure, seeing as how she was one of the drivers on the bus that came BACK to get them. Crisis of conscious? Realization of a deed done wrong? Or a note on her car back at the prison that read "Bitch, if you don't get your trifling ass back down to the Circle K in Corsicana RIGHT NOW, you'll find out what it's like to BE newly-released, in about 3-5 years. MOVE YOUR ASS!"? I bet it was that whole realization thing. Lucky for her these folks were on their way out, and not on their way in, or that Circle K might've been a burning pile of Doritos and motor oil when she got back. And then where would she buy her scratch-offs?
Stafford County Sheriffs have arrested 20 year-old Lorenzo Herbert for the armed robbery of the McDonalds Restaurant at 766 Warrenton Road in Stafford County Saturday, February 16, shortly after midnight. Officers were dispatched to a robbery in progress at the McDonalds Restaurant at 766 Warrenton Road in Stafford County. Authorities were informed that a recently fired employee had just robbed the restaurant with a handgun and had walked out a side door and was walking down Plantation Drive. A description of the suspect was given and officers quickly made an arrest. Herbert was found with cash stolen from the McDonalds, a black ski mask, some marijuana and a BB gun that looked exactly like a hand gun. Herbert had been fired earlier in the evening and had returned to the restaurant prior to closing. He put a mask over his face, went behind the counter and forced the manger to the store safe. After showing the manger the gun in his pants the manger turned over the cash. At that point Herbert ordered the manger into the walk-in freezer. Among the charges against him are armed robbery and use of a firearm in the commission of a felony.
Remember way back when, when I was gonna open an academy for training criminals on how to not be stupid? You 'member. I was complaining about the vast reservoir of dumb that these people dip into whenever they get the bright idea to commit a crime before really thinking it all the way through first, and how I could help them avoid capture and hurting others by opening this school, and then narc'ing to the authorities to get paid on both ends. Brilliant plan, yes? Well, after reading shit like this, I get all excited and start thinking about actual business plans and small business loans. Someone please explain to me why anyone with a third of a brain would return to a job they were fired from THAT VERY DAY, and rob the place, with the people he worked with still there, who would surely recognize his voice! This is so far beyond dumb that Dumb had to buy a map and a GPS system just to get back to its neighborhood. To make a bad decision worse, he fled the scene…on foot. OK, I've never robbed anything (that I'm gonna tell you about), but I'm pretty sure that if I did, I'd arrange some type of faster transportation besides Adidas power! Who robs a place and then strolls off, with a pocketful of cash, weed, ski mask, and a BB gun? And that takes me to Point #2: A BB gun is an ingenious choice of weaponry, particularly if you don't really want to hurt anyone (except to maybe put their eye out). But here's the thing – in the committal of a felony, it just doesn't fucking matter. You could use a banana in your pocket, and it's treated the same when (not if) your silly ass gets arrested. And what would he have done if the manager whipped out his OWN gun, and played a nice game of Whose Bullet Hurts More with this idiot? I'm about to pop a blood vessel just thinking about all the high-level stupidity committed by Herbert. In fact, I'm going to address him directly, something I rarely do. Hey, Herbert! I hope you feel real good, getting revenge on those suckas at the Mickey D's like that. Bravo, playa. Listen; you'll have plenty of time to think about the flaws, weak points, deficiencies, soft areas, blind spots, and overall fuckedupedness in your poorly thought-out master plan. Think long and hard, Herbert. You could've been filling out applications to Subway right now, but instead, your cellmate will be using your ass as his own personal subway instead. Remember – breathe out. Idiot.
Almost Current
Street Smarts
The Illustrated Guide to Proper Baconage, Volume 2
Praise Miming
The Hand That Rocks Absolutely Nothing…Yet
Bear Sweaters
Dark Damian Designs
Social Q's – Quincy Fails at Dating
Catedarkies
Auto-erotica Bacon Band Bear sweaters Best Of Damian BTW Car Talk Chinese Lessons Coach Damian Comix Diatribes Friends General I'm Dumb Kids Kung Fu Fighting Mall Tales Rants Work
Dr. McNinja
Hateful Bitch
Still Thinking… Have a Seat!
The FAIL Blog
My Deep Peeps
Captain & Coke with Lime
Green Apple Martini's
It's Still All About Me
Squirrel, Please
The Cat's Meow
The Web Pen Blog
My Homies
A Likely Story!
ClizBiz
It's A Heartache
jali's house
Neamhspleach
Saintseester
The Monkey Blog
Welcome To Shonda-Land
(D)archives
(D)archives Select Month September 2011 (1) July 2011 (1) March 2011 (1) January 2011 (2) December 2010 (1) November 2010 (2) October 2010 (1) September 2010 (1) July 2010 (1) June 2010 (1) May 2010 (1) April 2010 (1) March 2010 (1) February 2010 (2) January 2010 (3) November 2009 (1) October 2009 (1) September 2009 (1) August 2009 (1) July 2009 (2) June 2009 (1) May 2009 (2) April 2009 (3) March 2009 (2) February 2009 (1) January 2009 (2) December 2008 (3) November 2008 (5) October 2008 (4) September 2008 (4) August 2008 (3) July 2008 (3) June 2008 (3) May 2008 (2) April 2008 (4) March 2008 (6) February 2008 (6) January 2008 (3) December 2007 (4) November 2007 (4) October 2007 (6) September 2007 (4) August 2007 (4) July 2007 (5) June 2007 (9) May 2007 (8) April 2007 (7) March 2007 (9) February 2007 (5) January 2007 (11) December 2006 (13) November 2006 (15) October 2006 (15) September 2006 (14) August 2006 (13) July 2006 (13) June 2006 (13) May 2006 (12) April 2006 (11) March 2006 (11) February 2006 (10) January 2006 (10) December 2005 (6) November 2005 (8) October 2005 (3) September 2005 (8) August 2005 (7) July 2005 (10) June 2005 (4) May 2005 (4) April 2005 (4) March 2005 (5) February 2005 (1) January 2005 (3) December 2004 (3) November 2004 (5) October 2004 (9)
Ask me stuff!
http://www.formspring.me/darkdamian
Stuff People Say
Anon on Vincent D'Onofrio Is The…
me on Supernanny Is Bullshit
keya on The Mystery of Taylor Swi…
Francois Tremblay on Supernanny Is Bullshit
Angel on Chinese 101
Dark Stats
110,183 reasons to read me, baby.
Tagalicious
Add new tag Facebook Kanye Normalcy People are stupid quick posts Social Q's Tiger Twitter


text:
News|PKK
Turkey detains Diyarbakir co-mayors
State media cites an ongoing investigation into outlawed armed PKK group as the reason for the politicians' detentions.
Co-mayor Kisanak is a member of Turkey's pro-Kurdish Peoples Democratic Party [File: Reuters]
The co-mayors of the largest city in Turkey's predominantly Kurdish southeast have been detained for questioning as part of a "terrorism" investigation, according to Turkish media reports.
The state-run Anadolu Agency reported that anti-terrorism police took Gultan Kisanak into custody late on Tuesday at the city's airport. The second politician, Firat Anli, was held at his home.
The agency cited an ongoing probe into the outlawed Kurdistan Workers' Party (PKK) as the reason for their detentions, without providing further details.
Kurdish group claims deadly attack on Turkish troops
Kisanak is a member of Turkey's legal pro-Kurdish Peoples Democratic Party, which the government accuses of being the political wing of the PKK. The party denies the accusation.
Earlier on Tuesday, she had testified in front of a parliamentary committee investigating Turkey's failed July 15 military coup.
Last month, Turkey removed tens of mayors in the region accused of links to PKK, replacing them with state-appointed trustees in a major shake-up under emergency powers enacted after the coup attempt.
The autonomy-seeking PKK abandoned a two-year ceasefire in July, reigniting a conflict that has claimed more than 40,000 lives since 1984.
The government has accused the PKK of a series of attacks in the southeast of Turkey in recent weeks.
Turkey, the European Union and the United States have labelled the PKK a "terrorist" group.
Source : News Agencies
Ten Turkish troops killed in two separate 'PKK attacks'
State media blames Kurdish fighters for bomb and armed attacks carried out in southeastern Mardin and Sirnak provinces.
Turkey removes 24 mayors over 'PKK links'
Turkey appoints trustee mayors to 24 municipalities on grounds that previous mayors provided support to "terrorists".
Police, civilians killed in Turkey car bomb blast
At least four police officers and three civilians killed in a car bomb blast near Turkey's southeastern Diyarbakir city.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
GM lays off 500 at Orion assembly plant
Greg Gardner, Detroit Free Press
General Motors will suspend a second production shift in January at its Orion assembly plant, affecting about 500 people.
They make the Chevrolet Sonic and Buick Verano subcompacts which are not selling well as Americans migrate toward large pickup trucks, SUVs and crossover models. Verano sales fell 27% through the first nine months of 2016 from a year earlier. Sonic sales have fallen 35% in the same period.
Last June the company said it would invest $245 million and hire 300 people at Orion Assembly to build the new Chevrolet Bolt electric car beginning next year, and an unnamed future model.
"Orion Assembly is a breeding ground for manufacturing innovation," Cathy Clegg, GM vice president of North America manufacturing and labor relations said at the time. "It serves as a model for how to engage the entire workforce at all levels to achieve success."
Most of the 500 workers laid off at the Orion plant will have the opportunity to move to GM's Detroit-Hamtramck plant where the automaker said Thursday it will add a second shift as it ramps up production of the second-generation Chevrolet Volt, the Cadillac CT6 and possibly the Buick LaCrosse sometime next year.
"We are confident we will be able to make transfer offers to Detroit-Hamtramck or other GM locations for the vast majority of those who are affected by the shift reduction," the company said in a statement.
Under a special agreement with the UAW, GM was able to run the Orion Township plant with up to 40% of the work force filled with lower-paid Tier 2 workers.
The moves at the two assembly plants come as the UAW moves to negotiate a new labor agreement with GM after workers at Fiat Chrysler ratified their contract earlier this week.
The union represents about 52,700 hourly workers at GM plants throughout the U.S.
Contact Greg Gardner: (313) 222-8762 or ggardner@freepress.com. Follow him on Twitter @GregGardner12


CREC continuously applies a determined effort in the area of patent applications for inventions that will eventually be licensed and commercialized.
de Lasa, H.,"Novel Riser Reactor Simulator", Canadian Patent 1,284,017,(1991). USA Patent 5,102,628 (1992).
de Lasa, H., "Pseudoadiabatic Reactor for Exothermic Catalytic Conversions", Canadian Patent 1,223,895 (1987). USA Patent 4,929,798 (1989).
de Lasa H., H. Farag, Ng S. "FCC with in-situ metal traps". USA Patent 5,424,262 (1995).
de Lasa H., Valladares J."Photocatalytic Reactor Waste Water Treatment". USA patent 5,683,589 (1997).
de Lasa H., Young B.,Krol S., "Fiber Optic Sensor for Sensing Particle Movement in a Catalytic Reactor". USA Patent 5,749,291 (1998).
de Lasa H., Ibrahim H., "PhotoCatalytic Reactor and Method for the Destruction of Organic Air Pollutants". USA Patent 6,752,957 (2004).
de Lasa H., El Solh T., Jarosch K., "Fluidizable Catalyst for Methane Reforming", USA Patent 6,852,668 (2005).
de Lasa H., "Catalytic Process for the Removal of sulfur from a Hydrocarbon Stream", USA Patent Application, Dec. 3 (2004).
The Industrial Liaison Office http://www.uwo.ca/industry/ in collaboration with Recat Technologies Inc.
http://www.recattechnologies.com/ commercializes the CREC patents on a worldwide basis.


Holiday traditions run the gamut — everything from special dishes for a holiday meal to games played on a special day or the way that holiday tree is selected and trimmed. And, in coastal Delaware, there are religious services, charity events, festivals of light and Holiday Happenings. But not just any "holiday happenings." This is Bethany Beach's special brand of holiday fun, aimed at bringing neighbors together ahead of the holidays and offering wintertime family fun in the unique seaside setting.
This year's Holiday Happenings are set for this weekend, on Friday, Nov. 30, and Saturday, Dec. 1. On Friday, Bethany Beach's adult residents are being invited to attend the annual holiday get-together at town hall, from 4 to 6 p.m., where they can visit with olds friends and maybe make some new ones. The decorated town hall tree will be on full display and refreshments will be on offer.
Then, on Saturday, Bethany Beach town hall will serve as a seaside southern extension of the North Pole from 3:30 to 5:30 p.m., when it opens up to the public for family fun with a holiday theme. Entertainment designed for the whole family will be on offer, featuring free carriage rides, hayrides, face-painting, refreshments and more.
The afternoon's festivities will be capped off with the traditional visit from Santa, who will arrive with much fanfare and be available to receive kids' wish lists, as well as for photos, so parents should bring along their cameras to catch that special moment for the holiday card or family photo album.
"The children have a blast, and they're so much fun to watch," Mayor Tony McClenny said recently about the annual event.
The Dec. 1 event is open to the public, so kids and their families can travel from near and far to visit with Santa and engage in some holiday fun to kick off the season in seaside style.


Following his training as a tailor, Florian Asche studied product design at Central Saint Martins University in London. After gaining first work experience in various design agencies, he returned to Germany, where he became Sales Director of e15. In 2006, Florian Asche left the company to devote more time to product design and his own projects.


text:
/* Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License");
 * you may not use this file except in compliance with the License.
 * You may obtain a copy of the License at
 *
 *      http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
 *
 * Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software
 * distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS,
 * WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied.
 * See the License for the specific language governing permissions and
 * limitations under the License.
 */
package org.flowable.engine.test.bpmn.servicetask;

import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThatThrownBy;

import java.util.HashMap;
import java.util.List;
import java.util.Map;
import java.util.concurrent.Callable;
import java.util.concurrent.CompletableFuture;
import java.util.concurrent.CountDownLatch;
import java.util.concurrent.RejectedExecutionException;
import java.util.concurrent.TimeUnit;
import java.util.concurrent.atomic.AtomicInteger;
import java.util.stream.Collectors;

import org.flowable.common.engine.api.FlowableException;
import org.flowable.common.engine.api.async.AsyncTaskInvoker;
import org.flowable.common.engine.impl.history.HistoryLevel;
import org.flowable.engine.ProcessEngineConfiguration;
import org.flowable.engine.delegate.DelegateExecution;
import org.flowable.engine.delegate.FlowableFutureJavaDelegate;
import org.flowable.engine.impl.cfg.ProcessEngineConfigurationImpl;
import org.flowable.engine.impl.test.HistoryTestHelper;
import org.flowable.engine.impl.test.ResourceFlowableTestCase;
import org.flowable.engine.runtime.ProcessInstance;
import org.flowable.engine.test.Deployment;
import org.flowable.variable.api.history.HistoricVariableInstance;
import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;

/**
 * @author Filip Hrisafov
 */
public class ServiceTaskWithFuturesNoQueueCapacityTest extends ResourceFlowableTestCase {

    public ServiceTaskWithFuturesNoQueueCapacityTest() {
        super("flowable.cfg.xml");
    }

    @Override
    protected void additionalConfiguration(ProcessEngineConfiguration processEngineConfiguration) {
        super.additionalConfiguration(processEngineConfiguration);

        // The thread pool will start rejecting jobs once we reach 6 parallel jobs (1 in queue, 4 running)
        ((ProcessEngineConfigurationImpl) processEngineConfiguration).setAsyncExecutorThreadPoolQueueSize(1);
        ((ProcessEngineConfigurationImpl) processEngineConfiguration).setAsyncExecutorCorePoolSize(4);
        ((ProcessEngineConfigurationImpl) processEngineConfiguration).setAsyncExecutorMaxPoolSize(4);
    }

    @Test
    @Deployment
    void testDelegateExpression() {

        String currentThreadName = Thread.currentThread().getName();

        // The 5th job will fail due to no more place on the queue
        // If that happens then the async execution should be run on the same thread the process
        CountDownLatch latch = new CountDownLatch(5);
        TestFutureJavaDelegate testBean = new TestFutureJavaDelegate(latch);
        ProcessInstance processInstance = runtimeService.createProcessInstanceBuilder()
                .processDefinitionKey("myProcess")
                .transientVariable("bean", testBean)
                .start();

        assertProcessEnded(processInstance.getId());

        if (HistoryTestHelper.isHistoryLevelAtLeast(HistoryLevel.AUDIT, processEngineConfiguration)) {
            List<HistoricVariableInstance> historicVariableInstances = historyService.createHistoricVariableInstanceQuery().list();
            Map<String, Object> historicVariables = historicVariableInstances.stream()
                    .filter(variable -> !variable.getVariableName().equals("initiator"))
                    .collect(Collectors.toMap(HistoricVariableInstance::getVariableName, HistoricVariableInstance::getValue));

            assertThat(historicVariables)
                    .containsOnlyKeys(
                            "executionThread1", "executionThread2", "executionThread3",
                            "executionThread4", "executionThread5", "executionThread6",
                            "executionThread7", "executionThread8", "executionThread9"
                    )
                    .containsValues(
                            "flowable-async-job-executor-thread-1",
                            "flowable-async-job-executor-thread-2",
                            "flowable-async-job-executor-thread-3",
                            "flowable-async-job-executor-thread-4",
                            currentThreadName
                    );
        }
    }

    @Test
    @Deployment(resources = "org/flowable/engine/test/bpmn/servicetask/ServiceTaskWithFuturesNoQueueCapacityTest.testDelegateExpression.bpmn20.xml")
    void testDelegateExpressionWithRejectAsyncTaskInvoker() {
        // No need to reset the invoker because the ResourceFlowableTestCase creates a new engine before every test run
        processEngineConfiguration.setAsyncTaskInvoker(new AsyncTaskInvoker() {

            @Override
            public <T> CompletableFuture<T> submit(Callable<T> task) {
                return processEngineConfiguration.getAsyncTaskExecutor().submit(task);
            }
        });

        // The 5th job will fail due to no more place on the queue
        // If that happens then the async execution should be run on the same thread the process
        CountDownLatch latch = new CountDownLatch(5);
        TestFutureJavaDelegate testBean = new TestFutureJavaDelegate(latch);
        assertThatThrownBy(() -> {
            runtimeService.createProcessInstanceBuilder()
                    .processDefinitionKey("myProcess")
                    .transientVariable("bean", testBean)
                    .start();
        }).isInstanceOf(RejectedExecutionException.class);
    }

    protected static class TestFutureJavaDelegate implements FlowableFutureJavaDelegate<Map<String, Object>, Map<String, Object>> {

        protected final AtomicInteger counter = new AtomicInteger(0);
        protected final CountDownLatch latch;

        public TestFutureJavaDelegate(CountDownLatch latch) {
            this.latch = latch;
        }

        @Override
        public Map<String, Object> prepareExecutionData(DelegateExecution execution) {
            Map<String, Object> inputData = new HashMap<>();
            inputData.put("counter", counter.incrementAndGet());
            return inputData;
        }

        @Override
        public Map<String, Object> execute(Map<String, Object> inputData) {
            Map<String, Object> outputData = new HashMap<>();
            int counter = (int) inputData.get("counter");
            outputData.put("executionThread" + counter, Thread.currentThread().getName());
            latch.countDown();
            try {
                if (latch.await(2, TimeUnit.SECONDS)) {
                    return outputData;
                } else {
                    throw new FlowableException("latch did not reach 0");
                }
            } catch (InterruptedException e) {
                Thread.currentThread().interrupt();
            }
            return outputData;
        }

        @Override
        public void afterExecution(DelegateExecution execution, Map<String, Object> executionData) {
            if (executionData != null) {
                for (Map.Entry<String, Object> entry : executionData.entrySet()) {
                    execution.setVariable(entry.getKey(), entry.getValue());
                }
            }
        }
    }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Foculty & Staff
Discover who we are and what we do.
Read all about our programmes and curriculum.
Find out how to apply to SIST & Cardiff Met.
SIST has 35 different nationalities. Join us.
FREE English Test
SIST Casablanca
Casablanca is Morocco's chief port and industrial centre. The 2012 census recorded a population of about 4 million in Casablanca and about 5 million in the region of Grand Casablanca. Casablanca is considered the economic and business centre of Morocco, while the national capital is Rabat.
As a foreign student, Casablanca will most likely be the first city you visit when you arrive at Mohammed V International Airport. Students who inhabit the largest city in Morocco will find Casablanca to be the perfect blend of modern and cultural life. Graduates of SIST Casablanca will benefit enormously as it is the home to numerous domestic and multinational companies such as P&G, Unilever, HP and Dell, making it the main business centre with half of factories, investments, and commercial operations, and with half of Morocco's banking transactions taking place in the city.
Students can enjoy the Islamic architect of Hassan II Mosque, the 7th largest of the world, then take a walk down the Corniche to visit the beach and numerous restaurants offering a variety of local and international cuisine. Movie lovers can enjoy up to date movies in Megarama and Imax. Other attractions include Anfaplace Shopping Centre, Casablanca Twin Centre and Morocco Mall, the biggest shopping centre in Africa boasting its own beautiful aquarium.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIJvurRYYsY
SIST Rabat
Located on the Atlantic coast in the north-west of Morocco, Rabat is the product of cultural exchanges between an Arab-Muslim past and Western modernism.
Rabat is the capital of the Kingdom of Morocco, and the seat of the Moroccan government. It is a city of knowledge with an extensive network of academic institutions, ministries and embassies.
Rabat is a learning environment itself. Culturally rich with a diverse population, attracting many different ethnic, cultural and religious groups that have settled in the city throughout its long history. With this in mind, many administrative procedures have been simplified for foreign investors, students and tourists.
It was voted by CNN as the second top travel destinations of 2013 and Rabat city has been listed by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site. Mawazine, a music festival, is held every year featuring Moroccan and international singers such as Maroon 5, Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Pitbull, Shakira, Justin Timberlake, Stromae and many others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQK-2r2TIuY&t=12s
SIST Tangier
Tangier, a Moroccan port city on the Strait of Gibraltar has been a strategic gateway between Africa and Europe since Phoenician times. Its whitewashed hillside medina is home to the Dar El Makhzen, once the palace of the sultans and now transformed into a museum of Moroccan artifacts. The medina also has dozens of outdoor cafes, such as those along the Terrasse des Paresseux, a balcony overlooking the Mediterranean Sea.
Tangier is now a major economic and cultural hub in the region. It enjoys an ideal geographical location for investment. Located about fifteen kilometers from Spain, it is the first passenger port of Morocco, and the region offers a competitive infrastructure in continuous development.
The mix of cultures has created a colorful and rich society, famous for its world-class & legendary hospitality, as well as beautiful architecture. This diversity has also lead to various international investments and the city has become one of the most important industrial centres in Morocco, home to various industrial zones and one of the largest ports in Africa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GVVw_qiOSo&t=2s
1st Semester Holidays
SIST Students will be taking their 1st semester holidays right after the finals week.
Choose The SIST Experience
Our rich history is the foundation for our values. Join us to make your college experience unforgettable.
SIST © 2018 All Rights Reserved
Study at SIST
About SIST


Identifying which leads bring you the greatest value is why having an integrated lead scoring tool built into your CRM is so important. You no longer have to guess which leads are hot and most likely to convert, GreenRope provides you with this data! Assign scores and track both demographic and activity based data so your salespeople know which of your leads are actively engaging with your brand. With lead scoring, you are more productive resulting in better sales and overall revenue.
At GreenRope, we simplify a lot of things for you, and this is another place where harnessing our tools will save you time and money while helping you bring in the clients and revenue you deserve. With a simple interface to customize your contacts' key data fields and actions, you can easily see who is ready for your next sale. You no longer have to guess who is the best candidate for a personal email or phone call - it's all there for you to see in GreenRope! Use CRM and marketing automation to actively score leads and gauge their interest.
Because GreenRope's intelligent CRM (and therefore our automation tools) are integrated, you can measure the impact of contact data combined with activity data (for example, website visits, email reads or clicks, or support tickets). All of this information is no longer something to be feared - we collate it all for you in a meaningful way that affects your top and bottom line!


Getting five people ready for the day is difficult; it's a wonder we ever make it out the door with our whole troupe looking decent. By the time we made it into The District it was past eleven o'clock! I was shocked when I asked Andrew the time—Miriam had woken me up at seven o'clock that morning and we'd been bustling about feeding babies, feeding children, dressing babies, dressing children, packing diaper bags, finding shoes for ten feet, folding up a hide-a-bed, making sure everyone was well pottied ever since. It hardly seemed possible that all we'd managed to do was get out the door and take a short ride on the metro by eleven in the morning!
In our defense, we were rather tired from listening to a wild party until the wee hours of the morning. One particular attendee at the party was rather sad and rather drunk and/or high and I suppose a friend was trying to console him when he wailed into the night, "Why me, man? Why me?!" There was much sobbing and incomprehensible mumble-wailing (and loud obnoxious music).
Andrew and I giggled and dubbed him Sad Drunk Man. We couldn't stop laughing; I'm sure the man was hurting but it was such a cliche thing to call out (and we were up past any reasonable hour and probably would have laughed at anything).
Our metro ride in the morning was as equally interesting as our night. We'd only gone one stop when a man stumbled onto our wagon.
"What?! You don't speak Spanish?!"
"Uh, no..." Andrew answered. "We speak English."
"Well, you should learn it! I have these tapes. Seven tapes for $29. You just listen to them and you learn Spanish."
"We're not interested," Andrew said casually.
"Hey! Listen what I'm telling you, man!" the man said forcefully.
I would say that he yelled that part. Andrew wouldn't. But I'm pretty sure he yelled it.
"You have kids! Kids need to learn a foreign language. It's very important. Buy the tapes for the children if you won't buy them for yourself!"
"We don't need tapes," Andrew calmly explained. "We can teach our children foreign languages in other ways. We already know foreign languages so instead of listening to tapes we can just speak to our children."
"You know foreign languages?! Which ones?!"
"I speak Arabic. She speaks Russian."
"Oh. Oh, wow. Oh, that is wonderful. You have a good day."
The man then stood up to move. I was excited that I wouldn't have to have him sitting kitty-corner from us for the entire metro ride. Unfortunately he moved to sit directly behind me. I smiled awkwardly at Andrew. He smiled back sincerely. I did my best to interact normally with my children who were fascinated to be on a metro "for the first time."
Neither of them remember their metro-riding days in Cairo. And we also may or may not (I'm leaning towards 'may') have told them that the tunnels were carved by basilisks.
When we went underground the first time Rachel's eyes got large and she gasped, "Oh, no!"
I'm not sure she thought we were serious about going underground.
"Who is going to kill the basilisk?" she fretted. "Harry Potter is fictional!"
"So are basilisks," I reminded her.
"Oh, yeah!" she sighed, relaxing into her seat.
Just then Tape Man stuck his head over the back of my seat and spoke into my ear.
"Hey! You shaid you shpeak Russian so shpeak it to your chil'ren. Nobody'sh goin'a believe you shpeak Russian if you don't shpeak it! And how'sh your chil'ren goin'a learn if you're just shpeakin' English all the time!"
I was a teensy bit happy when we got off at Pentagon Station to switch lines because Tape Man stayed behind. I'm really not sure if he was selling tapes; he didn't have any with him and he didn't talk to anyone else on that ride. Just us. We were his special target.
Andrew was a teensy bit happy when we emerged from the metro at L'Enfant Plaza. He was more than happy. He was stoked. He loves DC and was excited to share it with me.
But I hadn't visited either Washington, DC, or Ottawa—my two native capitol cities. It was certainly a bucket-list day for me. (Ottawa's next...not that we actually have concrete plans to go there, but I'd definitely like to go some day).
Anyway, Andrew was bouncing with excitement. I was, too. It was hard not to. And not only because we were met with a drum line after we stumbled off the metro escalator. We were actually really excited.
We walked along The Mall to the Museum of American History (so that we could find some ruby slippers...and Yoda...and things like that).
DC is a dream come true for a family with little expendable income. It took a little over a half a tank of gas to get there. We spent a ridiculous amount of money on metro tickets ($14 x 3 for full day passes) but all the museums are free—or at least enough museums are free that you could spend days and days and days wandering around and not spend a single cent on admission fees.
Unfortunately we didn't have days and days. We had one day. Andrew wanted to take the girls to see both the American History Museum and the Air and Space Museum but even that plan was optimistic. I still want to get back to see the aquarium and the Natural History Museum and...other places. We only went through the American History Museum and it was lovely, though the television wing was closed for renovations which broke the girls' hearts. Andrew has talked about seeing Dorothy's ruby slippers for years so our girls were eager to get to see them for themselves.
We had a quick chat about plans changing, circumstances being beyond our control, and choosing to be happy because there was so much more to see and it seemed to work. The girls stifled their sniffles, held their heads high, and walked on.
The first exhibit we went through was filled with dresses of the First Ladies, past and current. Miriam, our resident fashionista, could have stayed in that one room all day. Shoes, jewelry, clutches, evening gowns...she was in heaven.
I will never understand that child.
Next we went through the exhibit of presidents. We took turns standing at this podium so we could try reading from a teleprompter. Don't we look presidential?
When we finished upstairs—which is all about the history of the presidents and their families, it seemed—we went downstairs and literally ran into the ruby slippers. Our girls melted with joy and ran to the case so they could admire them.
It seems the museum knew they were a popular pilgrimage and so they moved them to a special temporary exhibit filled with other things that people often come to see that would have otherwise been locked away in the sections of the museum closed for renovations.
Kermit the Frog (was) (t)here, too.
And this creepy "Creeping baby doll" were among our favourite items in the exhibit.
Who knew that prior to the 1870s crawling had been considered a bad habit "associated with animals and the insane" and thus something people discouraged their children from doing.
We went into the basement to learn about transportation throughout history and when we were getting ready to leave we found the Harry Potter robes, which made Rachel's day (once again—easily excited, easily devastated). She had so been hoping to see Yoda and was crushed when we couldn't find him but spotting this turned her feelings right around.
"Dad! You said Harry Potter wouldn't be in the museum because Harry Potter isn't American—they all speak that other way! But, look! It's Harry Potter's robes!" It turns out that the costume designer for the robes, Judianna Mokovsky, was born in New Jersey so it was certainly altogether fitting and proper that they find a home in the American History Museum.
It was also fun to see the the original Star-Spangled Banner (made by Mary Pickersgill, et al, in 1813). There are some snippets of the flag missing, including a star (from right in the middle of the flag!) and a corner of the striped area. My first thought was "Rude! How could someone do that!?" But then, I suppose, that's kind of how the past is preserved. I suppose whoever took those bits of the flags did so to treasure them and to share them, not knowing if the flag itself would be preserved. I then wondered if we did that today—took bits of things to put on display. Modern artifacts, if you will.
It was about that moment in my thoughts when I came head to head with one of those wood-paneled Dodge Caravan Turbo minivans that I rode around in when I was a kid and I remembered: We're at the Museum of American History.
I was staring at my childhood ride and Chelsea Clinton's ballet shoes were just one floor above me! (Wouldn't it be strange to have your own shoes on display in a museum?) Obviously we collect modern artifacts. Who knows if our collecting will someday be the bane of a collector a couple hundred years in the future? I mean, I hope that we keep them in good enough repair that it won't be...but I can think of several examples where we don't.
Like, for example, the bits and pieces of the Parthenon that are scattered around the world. Obviously that scattering happened long ago and I can't decide if we should have them on display of the escapades other nations (Britain, in this example) went through to pillage the goods or if we should return them in order to rebuild the Parthenon. Isn't part of the magic the fact that it's in shambles? I don't know.
Pieces of the Twin Towers have been scattered around as well, though they were destroyed in an act of terror, we scattered them ourselves by way of remembrance. We could never rebuild the tower with the bits of rubble we collect. That said, the Parthenon saw its share of battles, too, and complete reconstruction would be impossible. And I really dislike the "rebuilding" of the pyramids going on in Egypt—it looks tacky and modern and insincere.
Perhaps destruction is as much a part of history as the original construction.
Anyway...are you hungry yet? We were too. So we headed back out to the mall for a picnic.
Miriam was in a funny mood—she kept posing for pictures but her poses were always really awkward.
I even asked her what she was doing. Her response: "Oh, I'm just doin' a little posin'."
She was pretty confident that her posing was super cute. And it was...but it's also a little silly.
With the help our our stroller, backpack, and mad balancing skills, we were able to snap a few family pictures.
Benjamin was obviously very interested in the ground.
While we were standing there, Andrew asked me to guess how long the mall was.
"Two miles" was my first guess. The National Mall is actually 1.9 miles long, from the Capitol to the Lincoln Memorial. If there was a prize I probably would have won it. Two miles isn't all that far, really, but it sure felt like we'd been walking forever toward the end of the day. We took our children from one end of the mall and back again...and then further.
We walked up to the Washington Monument, which is monolithic—you can see it from all over the place. It helps that it's up on a hill—you can see all over the place from it, too.
We could have gotten closer but we ran out of time. The White House is kind of like Mount Rushmore: You expect it to be bigger than it is. It's actually fairly small-looking, nestled off in the distance between some trees. I'm sure it would have been bigger if we'd gotten around to walking over there (but when Andrew said it was "a thirty minute brisk walk" I said no way—we'd been dragging our kids all over by that point and everyone was beat). So I tried pointing it out to the girls but I'm not sure they noticed it. Rachel agreed to stand still for a picture.
I finally caught her racing back to us after we threatened to leave her there to graze on the grass all night.
For some reason I thought it was very important that we get a picture of the girls with the Washington Monument. Andrew assured me that we would have plenty of time to do that throughout the day but I didn't quite believe him. This was before I knew that you could see the Washington Monument from pretty much anywhere, obviously.
So the girls posed at the base of the monument for me. Miriam did her own little pose until she noticed that Rachel was posing like an obelisk—perfect!
She decided that she should imitate this pose.
Then they grabbed hands and began to race down the mall together. So Andrew and I followed.
They ran all the way down to the street where we demanded that they stop and wait for the signal to change. Then we visited the World War II monument.
The kids and I wandered around to explore while Andrew tried to find out why the states were ordered the way they were. I'm not sure he ever found out the exact answer, but it's that they're in the same order in which they entered the union.
I don't remember quite how it happened, but one minute both the girls were with me and the next minute I only had one of them. Miriam was no where to be seen.
My hot pink mess of a child had disappeared! How did I manage to lose something so...florescent?!
I was already up high so Rachel and I scanned the monument looking for a bouncy three-year-old draped in pink. We saw nothing. (And, no, I didn't snap this picture while we were hunting for her).
When we couldn't see her wandering around the fountain we decided to head out into the park. There were two ramps leading up to where we were and both of them lead back down to the fountain—where Andrew was waiting for us and would hopefully spot her if she came down. Rachel and I headed out the archway at the top of the ramp that lead out toward another pond.
I looked up and down but didn't see my pink, be-pigtailed princess anywhere.
It had only been seconds since she was pulling on my pant leg—she couldn't have gone far.
I literally grabbed a woman who I knew had come up the ramp around the same time that the girls and I had and was still admiring the view.
"Have you seen a little blonde girl dressed in hot pink, this high?" I asked frantically, indicating Miriam's height with my hand.
"Sorry, no," the woman said.
Just when I was about ready to tear my hair out and alert the nearest park ranger that there was a missing child and that they had to find her in the next three seconds (or else my heart would break into a million, trillion pieces) that same woman touched my shoulder and pointed off into the distance.
"Oh, yes! Thank you!" I gushed. "She's with my husband. Oh, thank you!"
Instead Rachel and I (and Benjamin, who was in the baby carrier) rushed down to shower Miriam with hugs and kisses...and to give her the lecture of her lifetime.
"Don't you ever, ever, ever leave Mommy's side without saying anything!" was the general message.
She knew what she was doing—she was just going back to Daddy. But for ten seconds she was out of sight of either of us and that's not good news. A lot can happen in ten seconds.
If I had realized she was missing ten seconds later than I did she probably would have already reunited with Andrew and I wouldn't have panicked and she never would have gotten a lecture but I guess she's too short to be seen while she was walking down the ramp and she wasn't with Andrew when I scanned the fountain area. We're just happy that she knew what she was doing and nothing horrible happened.
The whole ordeal lasted less than a minute, I'm sure, but I think I produced enough cortisol to run a small factory in that one minute.
She resigned herself to the stroller after her lecture and was hesitant to get out and play. I think I scared her (because I warned her that she could have gotten lost or taken). Eventually she warmed up and started to play again but she was pretty mopey for a while.
Constitution Gardens (which is where I thought Miriam might have run off to) was beautiful.
There was a dazzling flock of Canada geese on the pond. I wondered why they'd be so far north in December...until I realized that we're not so far north after all. We were all in sweaters and probably would have been fine—though perhaps a tad chilly—in t-shirts. It seems we're far enough south that the birds either live here permanently or are wintering here. And it really isn't a wonder—it's quite lovely out! Most of my Canada goose days (Utah doesn't count because I frankly didn't see many geese there; I did, but not like in BC or DC) were spent in their summer breeding grounds. I never imagined I'd see geese just living it up down south, though I'd read stories about such things.
As interested as I was in the geese, however, this seagull was much more interested in us.
He was waiting around for us to foolishly open a package of food or something (not that we'd do a silly thing like that) and he wasn't afraid of anything.
When some sweet looking mallards paddled up to us, Andrew pulled out some crackers and before I could stop him he opened the bag. I had seen the sign that instructed visitors to the park not to feed the wildlife.
"Don't feed the..." I began but then stopped my chastising and simply screamed, "RUN!"
No sooner had those pesky seagulls heard the crinkling of a package and caught a whiff of cracker wafting through the air than they descended upon us in a squawking fury of feathers and beaks.
We scooped up the children and high-tailed it out of there.
"Birds! Don't feed the birds!" I finished, breathless.
"Yeah!" Andrew panted. "Found that out."
When we'd recovered from our 100-metre dash, we noticed that the lighting was just right to try for another family picture, so we again used our stroller as an impromptu tri quad-pod.
I was sad to leave the beautiful pond—even though it was ridden with geese droppings and agressive seagulls—but we had more to see and we were quickly losing daylight.
We walked past a few war memorials—like Vietnam. We were all amazed that all those names came from soldiers who lost their lives in one war.
Our next stop was the Lincoln Memorial. Andrew's been talking about Lincoln since he came home from Indiana (because he treated himself to a movie—Lincoln—while I was at home changing dirty diapers and signing school forms (not that I'm bitter (I'm really not (but it's fun to tease him about it)))) and Lincoln is all over DC. It's like he's one of America's favourite presidents or something. We saw his hat—the hat he wore when he was shot—in the museum earlier in the day and now were coming up to a 19-foot statue of the man.
But first—more pictures of the Washington Monument. These pictures were taken at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the Lincoln Memorial.
The Washington Monument is 555 ft (and 5 and 1/8 inches) tall. It can seriously be seen from almost anywhere. And it always looks huge.
This is the face Rachel made as she gazed out at it from the top of the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial.
Inside the memorial the statue of Lincoln is impressive, to say the least. He did some pretty remarkable things. I wish someone would make a movie about his presidency so that I could watch it and learn all about him in an entertaining way... Oh, wait. They've done that. I just haven't seen it yet. Unlike some people I know.
The kids and I walked down the steps together while Andrew wheeled the empty stroller down the ramp (he'd carried it up the stairs). We started counting at some point during our descent and got to the number 43. Our fun fact for the moment is that there are several more than 43 stairs leading up to the monument. You're welcome.
We stopped at a ranger station (they have those because this is a National Park) to get a map. Technically I stood and waited with the kids while Andrew went up to get a map. When he came back to us he sighed dramatically, "They charged me double because I'm a Duke fan."
"So...the map was double free?" I asked.
"I guess so," Andrew said.
By this point in the day my back was killing me and since Miriam seemed interested in walking we let Benjamin have a turn in the stroller. It was his first time riding in our trusty umbrella stroller.
I'm pretty sure he loves it (contrary to what his face might tell you).
We crossed the street to see the Martin Luthur King Jr. monument, which opened just last year.
I love the mountain-ish look of the monument, which was clearly based on one of MLK's famous quotes: Out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.
Our friends Blake and Amanda warned us that MLK's statue was...interesting. And it was. He looks just a tad grumpy and imposing. Maybe he's just grumpy that it's taking so long for freedom and equality to be shared around the world. His face says, "Get busy! You still have work to do!"
Here are the girls giving some attention to their brother. All three of them were pretty tired of history and were getting pretty hungry. We decided it was time to head to the zoo. The only problem with deciding that was that we still had to walk all the way back up the mall which—did I mention?—is about two miles long.
Most of the reason, though, was that they were completely exhausted and couldn't walk a step farther. So we took Benjamin out of the stroller and put him back into the carrier. I carried him while I pushed Rachel in the stroller, Andrew put Miriam on his shoulders and we were off again. I pushed Rachel across the bridge leading up to the Capitol Building and then as far as I absolutely could. When I could push her no farther we kicked her out of the stroller and Miriam got in.
It was then my task to drag Rachel down the streets of DC until we got to Metro Center, where Andrew planned to catch the train to Woodly Park—Zoo/Adams Morgan.
On the way we passed Ford's theater, where you can still go to see a show if you'd like to.
We also probably passed several other closer metro stations... It felt like we were walking forever (and I'm twenty-seven so I can only imagine what it felt like for our five-year-old). But we did it! We made it to the metro and then we crashed in our seats.
Rachel, suddenly excited to be on the way to the zoo, found her second wind and practically skipped from the metro to the zoo. The first thing we did was pull over to refuel and "winterize." Once we had our extra layers on and some snacks in our tummies we took a lovely stroll through the zoo.
We didn't see many animals, though the animal houses were still open, because it was nighttime and the animals were sleeping, even some of the ones I thought were nocturnal. We only went into the small mammal house, truthfully, so I don't know how the animals were behaving elsewhere.
The most exciting thing we saw was a porcupine rouse itself from a nap to crack its back, first on the left, then on the right, much like you or I might do. It was an anthropomorphic moment for me, watching that porcupine stretch before going back to sleep. And who knew that porcupines are rodents and have long tails? Not me.
We also saw some golden tamarins playing around, which was fun...but the window was crowded with spectators so the girls had a hard time spotting them.
We admittedly didn't stay at the zoo long because we got there later than we had intended to and we were absolutely exhausted from our day, so we turned the party around (much to Rachel's dismay—she'd suddenly found enough energy to keep going though Mom and Dad had definitely not) and made our way back to the metro.
We had a ten minute wait for our train so we found a bench to sit on and found a discarded newspaper. Rachel picked it up and said, "What's this?"
"What's a newspaper?" Rachel asked.
"It's a paper...that tells you the news," Andrew explained. "You can order one to be sent to your house but we don't because we just read the news online."
Obviously. Since Rachel didn't know what a newspaper was.
Everyone was very happy to get back to Amanda's apartment for dinner and bedtime. Even Rachel was happy to go to bed and that is a rare occurrence, let me tell you!
Wow. It was almost wearing me out to read about your long day of exertion! But in a fun way!
It's funny that you posted that, because I was just thinking earlier today about how fun it would be to take our kids on a Washington DC vacation (museum nerds that we are). Seeing as we don't live half a gas tank away, though, I think we'll wait until Espen and Gwen are old enough to a) remember it, and b) haul their own little bodies around. I can only imagine how exhausted you must have been!


text:
Paul Attanasio (Nova York, 14 de novembro de 1959) é um roteirista e produtor de cinema e televisão americano. Foi co-criador do seriado House, M.D. e é, atualmente, um de seus produtores. Ele é graduado pelo Harvard College e pela Harvard Law School.

Attanasio, Paul
Roteiristas dos Estados Unidos
Naturais de Nova Iorque (cidade)
BAFTA de melhor roteiro adaptado

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Jersey blazer by LOOXENT in young, sporty maritime look. High-quality, densely woven jersey ensures maximum comfort and freedom of movement. Fashionable, slightly tailored style. Small lapel collar. Classy, silver-coloured ps. 2 welt pockets. 68% viscose, 27% nylon, 5% elastane. Length approx. 23ins. The jersey blazer is machine washable.


A wide variety of bouncy fun houses, jumping castles slides and more at affordable prices around sydney! Make your next event exciting and full of laughter with a Jolly Jester Jumping castle today!!
Darling Princess Party's provides fun and safe children's entertainment in the local area. From your choice of princess you can make your child's birthday or special event a magical day.
We are well know suppliers of birthday items. A single item like balloons or full theme pack. We will supply any thing.
Bakery Sugarcraft has been associated with the Baking Industry continously for many years.
Party Kingdom is an exciting new online party store.
Be the life of the party and stand out from the crowd in a stunning costume from Costumes n Things.
Penrith's premier party hire and event centre is conveniently located at Coombes Dr, Penrith, our showroom is open 6 days a week for your inspection! When quality and service matter, call Penrith party hire first. We can cater for small backyard parties and large corporate events.
Forever Sweet is a Lolly Buffet/Candy Bar business located in the Penrith area in Sydney's Western Suburbs.
Our personalized party banners will help you celebrate any event in style - and with ease. With our ready-made designs, we take the hassle out of banner creation. Simply choose a design, tell us the details - and we'll do the rest. You can even add a photo or two! All banners are made from sturdy, heavyweight paper (at least 140gsm). There are two banner sizes are available for you to choose from. Our small banner is 30cm x 140cm - our large banner is 43cm x 150cm. There are plenty of great designs to suit any occasion.
Inviting Bliss design Photo Invitations and birth announcements. These are then emailed as a high resolution JPEG file for you to print out as many copies as you require all for the 1 low file cost.
Not only do we provide fantastic service and products, but we also have a great blog to help you and inspire you to plan your perfect kids party no matter what age.


text:
Delaware City Main Street
Delaware City, DE
Main Street Delaware City, Inc. (MSDC) is a private, non-profit organization devoted to the revitalization of Delaware City. Affiliated with the National Trust for Historic Preservation, Main Street Delaware City is committed to assisting residents, local merchants, and property owners in enhancing their property values, boosting their businesses, and promoting a healthy community where people want to live and do business.
Attractions Festivals & Special Events Music Northern Delaware
Driving Directions & Parking
Directions to Delaware City
Take I-95 South to Rt. 1 - Take Rt. 1 South.
Follow Rt. 1 South to the Delaware City Exit / Rt. 72 At the exit ramp, at the light,
take a left on Rt. 72. Go straight about 1 � miles to Delaware City Refinery.
At the stop light, GO STRAIGHT, taking Rt. 9 South. 2 miles to Delaware City.
At stop light, take a left on Clinton Street.
Proceed to the business district (7 blocks).
You will end up at the foot of town along the Delaware River, Crabby Dick�s Restaurant is
a good landmark at the end of the block
You can�t miss the City Park to your right.
Follow Rt. 1 North to (Delaware City) exit. Rt. 72.
At the exit ramp, at the light, take a left on Rt. 72. Go straight about 1 �
miles to Delaware City Refinery.
At the stop light GO STRAIGHT taking Rt. 9 South.2 miles to Delaware City.
You will end up at the park along the Delaware River, Look for Crabby Dick�s Restaurant
as a landmark.
Other Visitor Information
Music in the Park is a free concert series in Battery Park downtown Delaware City. Bring your blankets and chairs. Then grab a bite to eat in one of our restaurants.
Delaware City, DE 19706
Update this organization