text:
My new year's resolution
To open a twitter account and make only one tweet of one character's length, consisting of an obsolete punctuation mark, and a spelling mistake.
Curses! Spoiled again!
A couple of weeks ago I was having a chat with some folks around the topic of movie spoilers. One guy was saying he hated spoilers, did everything he could to avoid them; another was saying she didn't mind spoilers at all actually, no problem with them. My position was slightly different: hey, sometimes spoilers are the only good thing about a movie; I will actively go out of my way to avoid a movie and read the spoilers instead. Case in point, the upcoming Batman vs Superman movie, or even more case in point, the never-ending series of Star Wars sequels.
These films present me with a curious paradox: I see the previews, I read about everyone else's excitement, and as a result I get all excited myself and want to know how they end. But I find I have no desire, nonetheless, to see the films. That would be a waste of precious hours in my life; the carpe diem poets advise man to seize the day, to Gather ye rosebuds while ye may/ old time is still a-flying - not Go to a bloody movie theatre for two hours and sit through another tedious collection of special effects just so you know how it all ends. You don't actually have to endure your way through to the end of Star Wars episode 1-3 and Darth Vader/Anakin's hilariously anti-climactic "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" to realise that, aside from filling in a few plot details that people could probably guess anyway, the films are devoid of any artistic interest whatsoever. In fact, Star Wars Episode Whogivesa or Batman vs Superman are hardly movies at all; they are plot twists mistaking themselves for movies.
So to the plot summary on the Wikipedia page I go, then. My favourite part of the plot summary would have to be.... I'm not sure, but my least favourite part would have to be the fact that they've (oh come ON don't tell me you didn't know I was going to include some spoilers in this post) INVENTED ANOTHER BLOODY DEATH STAR FOR THE FILM, I mean it may just be a plot twist mistaking itself for a proper cinematic experience but the least it could be is a NEW damned plot twist. (It's not even original in its unoriginality; Lucas reinvented the Death Star in Return of the Jedi). The most amusing would have to be the fact that evil kid Ren/Ben whatever appears to be having ongoing chats with his dead Dark Side mentor Darth Vader. (Not sure about this last part - they keep on fidding with the Wiki plot summary).
It would be amusing to go on in this way and review the plot summaries of all the crappy films that I don't want to see but want to know the ending too, like Batman vs Superman, but its plot synopsis is still too coy because the stupid non-film hasn't come out yet. I'm guessing neither of them wins. So there goes my career as a Wikipedia plot summary reviewer, then.
Oh, by the way, SPOILERS! This blog post contains SPOILERS! Did I do that right guys?
A DISQUISITION concerning the ETIQUETTE of FARTING
We were talking of farts, Thassalius, Quintalian and I, since it was not possible to do the reverse, and anyway, it is our custom to deliberate upon important matters before puffing contentedly on our evening pipes.
"I maintain," said Quintalian, "that farting is a way of marking territory by humans, just as animals mark their territory by means of odour. Observe, for instance, the dog, thoughtfully leaving his or her essence upon a tree, so that other dogs may KNOW they hath been there. Consider, too, the ways of the bee; who, in swarming season, is guided by the scents of the scouts who have gone before her, and thereby establishes a safe new hive for her sisters and brothers. So, too, we may draw an analogy with the human animal, whereby they, in their natural environment - such as the desk at their office, for instance, or the elevator they are sharing with their boss - mark their territory, perhaps unconsciously, by releasing a smell, a natural pheromone, into the environment, that will prove attractive to their family, and repellent to their enemies."
"A judicious observation, Quintalian", said I. "It is certainly true that my own farts frequently smell pleasant, whereas those of my enemies - who are many - or those who do not know me - who are sadly more numerous still - are abhorrent to my organs of olfactory apprehension. And yet, I find that the universal social contract is to deplore the practice of flatulence, wherever it may occur. What sayest thou, Thassalius?"
"It is certainly not a practice that I find to be impolite", murmured Thassalius. "For, wherein do true manners lie? In not giving offence to our neighbour, our friend, by giving false witness unto them - or, in being generous to them in their needs, and courteous to them in their wishes. But I find the practice of farting plays no part in this; for what one man finds disturbing, the other finds no trouble with; and what is of so little consequence can give no real offence. 'Tis but a bubble, Sir!"
"It would indeed prove to be a fit subject for an ESSAY, PAPER, or DISQUISITION, Thassalius," I said.
"Perhaps we may look forward to it further in your own productions, Palpatius", put in Quintalian. "I, for one, find it easier to avoid giving even the appearance of offence to my fellow humans; I wait until I am out of their company before letting NATURE take the air."
(It struck me hereabouts, of course, that whereas humans may make a great show of taking offence, other animals, more sensitive to the aromas around them, may already be well aware of the digestive productions of HOMO SAPIENS. Would not, say, bees regard the gaseous emissions of humans in a benevolent light, as one of the many fragrances of NATURE, just as humans regarded their own hive smell as an example of the universal goodness? If I had had more time to frame these thoughts into words I may well have said them to Quintalian, but here Thassalius came in with another striking thought.)
"Indeed," cried Thassalius, "I frequently regard the farts of others as a compliment. For what more simple way could there be to make expression of your comradely trust and the familial bond than to give way to an expression of wind in the company of others?"
"How true!" I enthused. "Thassalius, thou hast made a great discovery! And, paradoxically, does not one find even amongst the most frivolous of companions - school boys and the like - a desire to bond through their mutual flatulence, even by producing the odour that will be the most repugnant of sensation to one another? But who knows where this laudable desire for mutual betterment may lead them? Through their dedication to finding the most potent herbs, the most odiferous saps, the most productive of the plants and beans, that they may not - unbidden - make a Great Scientific Discovery?"
This being said, the three of us, done with our deliberating and asseverating and cogitating, drew out our pipes as one, and let the clouds wreathe up around us and ascend into the heavens above.
HERE ENDETH THE DISQUISITION
Posted by TimT at 10:02 am No comments:
Christmas doggerel #2
I am a sexy Santa in my sexy Santa suit
I looked me in the mirror and I thought I looked quite cute
I hop into your stockings girls every year or so
Some like it when I do that but some say I'm just a
Christmas doggerel
Doggerel. An ancient verse form. It's just like a villanelle. Written by a dog.
Dear Santa Claus
My Christmas wish
Is nothing more
Than an old dead fish.
The Twelve Days of why do we even call it Christmas Christ was just a myth and he wasn't even born then and anyway it's actually a pagan festival but it's all about consumption and greed and white colonialism in the context of late capitalism really please pass the pudding
Time for a Christmas sing along, kids! You know the tune! It's that old favourite
On the first day of why do we even call it Christmas Christ was just a myth and he wasn't even born then and anyway it's actually a pagan festival but it's all about consumption and greed and white colonialism in the context of late capitalism really please pass the pudding
My true love sent to me
A greeting card.
On the second day...
A pair of socks
And a greeting card.
On the third day...
Three feelings of warmth and tenderness with work friends
On the fourth day...
Four long lost family members
On the fifth day...
Five gorgeous renaissance portrayals of the Nativity
On the sixth day...
Six relaxing days on the beach
On the seventh day...
Seven wonderful craft beers at the Christmas party with friends
On the eighth day...
Eight lovely colours on that gift shirt your mother gave to you
On the ninth day...
Nine delightful chocolate fudges
On the tenth day...
A ten day holiday in France
On the eleventh day...
A 11.30 in the morning sleep in
On the twelfth day...
Twelve people who you love and adore and only want the best for and who really make you laugh at a glorious Christmas lunch
NASA launches first Creme Caramel into space after holding a dinner party and accidentally stuffing up the dessert course
NASA has launched the first creme caramel into space after holding a dinner party and accidentally stuffing up the dessert course.
"The initial stages were promising," said NASA spokesman John Spokesman, "But then it stuffed up in the oven when water bubbled into the pot, ruining the custard mixture. But the launch itself went really, really well, and our dinner party guests made a makeshift dessert on the spot by toasting marshmallows in the blast of the rockets".
The creme caramel, currently rocketing past the moon, carries with it a capsule with messages for any potential alien species it may encounter, such as "never make this bloody thing!" and "It's not worth the bother!"
Ewsome.
I didn't make it to the Dan today (insert suitably melancholy emoticon here) but I did just perform this impromptu poem:
Now I have to do my business in my business-doing place.
Now I am doing my business. This is my business-doing face*.
Now I have taken my business out of the business case.
Now I have done my business in the business-doing place.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Or should that be Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww?
*What's the emoticon for that, do you reckon?
May your day be nourished and fructified by the presence of this ASCII sperm made out of commas
It has come to my attention that a search of the internet for an ASCII sperm image made out of commas will be unsuccessful. This is my attempt to rectify this gap in our cultural capital.
Behold : the ASCII comma sperm.
Posted by TimT at 9:43 am 1 comment:
In the beginning was the code
Are selfies really real?
Who's the I behind the Pod?
What's the G in OMG?
Is it Gosh or is it God?
Do we float in cyberspace,
Random bits and bytes and blogs,
Are we acronyms and coding
Amidst pics of cats and dogs?
As we peer into your Facebook,
What's the status to your Status?
Has it gone the way of MySpace?
Do you know but won't update us?
In the far far distant future,
Our accounts long since deleted,
Will someone leave a comment?
Will we be (perhaps) retweeted?
We are pixels built on pixels,
But still I hear the call
To find that perfect YouTube
That will explain it all.
On this day in history....
This day, 30 November 2015, marks the 100th anniversary of the official passing of the Women's Mansplaination Act in Australian Parliament. This important bill gave women everywhere the right to listen to men giving fulsome explanations of things they already knew. Isn't history great?
Rumours that Malcolm Turnbull is actually drinking cocktails of artistic tears out of a golden diamond-encrusted beaker have been unsubstantiated
WTFF News - Australian Government announces the creation of a new fund of artistic tears
The Australian Government has announced the creation of a new fund of artists' tears, in an attempt to boost their support amongst the artistic community
"The National Endowment of Artistic Grief, or NEAG, will revitalise the artistic community, providing them with plentiful supply of delicious grief, torment, agony, and pain for the years ahead", said Mr Turnbull in a statement yesterday, adding that "this precious chalice of depression, desolation and despair showed that the Coalition government was the true friend of artists in Australia."
However, Bill Shorten hit back this morning, claiming that "this fresh supply of artistic tears is taking away from the pre-existing Australian Foundation of Artistic Sadness, and proves that once again the conservatives are ripping off valuable artists." He added: "If elected, a Labor Government will ensure all Artistic Tear stocks are returned to AFAS, along with the addition of fresh grants of sadness for our long-suffering artists."
The statements by Turnbull and Shorten were met with dismay by the artistic community, with artistic leaders sobbing plentifully when asked for responses to the new National Endowment of Artistic Grief policy.
"It's not enough!" claimed one artist.
"It's just too much!" claimed another.
A third artist asked for handkerchiefs.
A fourth artist said: "These are not true Australian tears. I have it on good authority that these tears were made in European sweatshops by underpaid artists. Why aren't we paying Australian artists to cry on our behalf?" before bursting into presumably demonstrative tears.
Rumours that Malcolm Turnbull is actually drinking cocktails of artistic tears out of a golden diamond-encrusted beaker have been unsubstantiated at time of going to press.
However, when contacted by the media, he did make slobbering sounds while licking his lips.
Posted by TimT at 11:15 am 1 comment:
Punkt!
One iott or one tytle of the lawe shall not scape. - Matthew 5:18, the Tindale Bible
"I like the idea of a whole class devoted to dots", I said in my German class the other day. Everyone laughed; they all thought I was joking. (I usually am). Actually, I was being serious. (I usually am. It's possible to be both).
It often comes down to a matter of the little dots and spots around the letters and numbers, I find. Every alphabet must have a use for those teeny-weeny dots that hover above or under or around the other letters, whether they be a full stop or an accent or a dash between the letters or those familiar spots hanging above the lower case 'i' and the lower case 'j'. 'Tittle' is the lovely technical term for these dots. What business do they have, defying gravity above their letters, anyway? (What business do I have, for that matter, thinking of the letters as standing upright? Books are often meant to be held more horizontally - surely the letters are depicted as horizontal?) And then there are the little dots below the question mark and the exclamation mark - ought we to expect them to fall away or to one day be helplessly crushed beneath the weight of the respective marks as gravity asserts itself?
It is possible to derive an endless amount of amusement from a couple of little dots on a page or a screen; however, the Germans seem to do it better than most of us. Not only do they have all the usual full stops and hyphens and tittles, but they have the semi-inverse colon, better known to you and me as the umlaut. You know, those two little dots above most of the vowels. My enthusiasm for umlauts is immoderate in the extreme, even though I cannot ever quite remember when to put them in*; however, it's in the matter of numbers that they manage to really confuse everyone.
Whereas we would signify a decimal place with a sensible dot (period, full stop, tittle-without-a-letter-to-bother-it, or, in German, punkt), the practice in die Deutschland is to pop in a comma in that same spot. Meanwhile, in the middle of a long number, where we would tend to place in a comma before every three digits for clarity, the Germans mostly don't bother - either spacing the digits apart, or putting in a - well, I'm afraid to say, a punkt. Got that? So where we use a full stop, the Germans use a comma, and where we use a comma, the Germans use a space or a full stop. Oh, and another substitute I hadn't been aware of: our symbol for division - '÷' - which Google informs me is known as 'the obelus' - is replaced, in German, by a colon (or a retrograde umlaut, or a retrograde-semi-inverse-colon**).
Full stops! Commas! Umlauts! Colons! Periods! What with all these blots and blobs and dots and dashes splotting and clashing into one another, it's a wonder we don't see them getting into one another's way and the punkts start groping the tittles and an asterisk and obelus get into the magic potion again and begin causing merry havoc in the marginalia. Anyway, that's about all I wanted to say, but while we're on the subject of dots and dashes and punctuation, can I just put in a word for spotty animals? There's nothing nicer than a well-punctuated animal, I find, and did you know, it's not just spotty coats many animals have; both our cats have a dot in the roof of their mouth. Occasionally when they yawn I see it, and I can't help but murmur to myself: "Hmm, yes. Good punkt. Very good punkt indeed."
*I suppose I could just start off by putting a couple of umlauts at the top of the page and letting the letters come in later.
**I may have made some of these terms up, but they are totally accurate.
College students denounce college as cultural appropriation
YALE, MONDAY: College students in the US have denounced college as cultural appropriation, taking to the streets to protest against themselves.
"We hereby call on ourselves to denounce ourselves for appropriating this ancient Latvian tradition and thus perpetuating systemic racism," said the spokesman for the students, before the protesters renounced college immediately.
The protesters went on to protest thought as cultural appropriation, and when asked how exactly it was cultural appropriation, they replied, "I don't know, I gave up thinking ages ago."
An argument against self-expression
It's time for keeping out of touch.
It's time for saying less.
To say too little, not too much -
Repress, repress, repress.
"Let's talk about it." Or: let's not.
Besides, I must confess
I'm never sure what feeling's what -
Don't talk. You'll give too much away.
Let other people guess -
You think too deep for words, they'll say -
Maintain your peace. Be almost still,
A gentle soft caress
Of fair winds on a distant hill -
Repress.
Maddy Prior.
Prior Maddy.
Maddy, priory.
Etiquette for dogs
Big dogs: when sniffing a little dog's bum, allow a grace period so the little dog has time to swirl around and give your own bum the appreciation it deserves.
Contra Star Wars
Oh, sod off with your Dark Side and your Light Saber and your Yoda says something profound with customary mixed up syntax. Sod off with your epic mythologising of deep import and your important myths of epic significance and your storm-bloody-troopers. Whatever happened to Star Wars: the missing years? EPISODE 1003: Luke Has A Really Bad Cold And Uses The Force To Make A Cup Of Coffee Because He Can't Be Arsed Getting Out Of Bed. EPISODE 2406: A Stormtrooper Is Really Pissed Off Because He Hears This Persistent John Williams Theme In His Ears Every Time He Marches Down The Corridors Of His Imperial Craft To Go To The Toilet. EPISODE 991: That Alien Jazz Band That Plays That One Time Are Invited To Play A Set On A New Death Star That Has Just Been Opened As A Tourist Resort But They Have To Turn It Down Because They Have To See The Doctor On That Date. No, I have no interest in seeing the latest episode in which the Empire Strikes Back Yet Again and things will probably all end alright anyway. Yes, I'll probably end up seeing the stupid thing anyway. Baaaaaarghh!
A medicament predicament
Just how do you make a chicken eat medicine*? Normally it's easy to feed a chicken; they eat anything. Though strangely, an exception to this rule develops when you feed them medicine: they won't eat that. It's not that they dislike the taste of the medicine - they'll take a few pecks and then leave it aside.
So, you mix the medicine in with anything. All of a sudden, the chicken develops another strange aversion: they'll eat anything they're not supposed to eat.
A solution presents itself: why not mix the medicine in with anything they're not supposed to eat? There's plenty of that around the house, from cat biscuits through to bowls of breakfast porridge. So you mix the medicine in with that. And then, contrarily, the chicken will develop a taste for anything that happens to be beside anything they're not supposed to eat. (Perhaps it is terrified by the paradox of being presented with anything they're not supposed to eat and then being allowed to eat it.)
Then, another possibility arises: company! There's nothing that excites a chicken to eat better than the company of others. In that company, the chicken will quickly scramble to eat as much as it can, excited in greed by the rapacity of its friends, and envious of any small crumb that should make its way down their beak. So, you call all the chickens to the back door, and turn the chicken out with its flock and lay down the medicine there. A fluster of feathers descends upon the food and you observe the results with pleasure. Surely, now the chook will digest its prescribed elixir! And with dismay you watch every chook but the chook you want to eat the medicine, actually eat the medicine.
I ask you. Chickens. They're almost as contrary as bloggers.
*It's just a calcium supplement to ensure sturdy eggs, chicken lovers! Nothing to worry about!
The Adamite mystery
Researchers create blackest material ever made (Phys.org)—A team of researchers at King Abdulla University of Science and Technology in Saudi Arabia has made the blackest material ever created by human beings.
It doesn't say in the story, but the blackest material ever made has an Antipodean link: it came from the fibres of the clothes of our very own Phillip Adams.
It has long been known that the monochromatic vests of the mellifluous radio presenter and newspaper writer suck all light, heat, and hope into their gravitational vortex. They are woven together from the finest strands made out of the sorrows of true devotees to the Socialist cause, and have been studied for years by scientists as one of the great wonders of nature. Astrophysicists have expressed especial interest in the inklike nature of Adams' clothing, as they seem to display a rare local case of the galactic phenomena known as 'Black Holes'; however, it is feared that if anyone got too close to them, they might go beyond the Event Horizon and be sucked into their naked singularity, and no-one wants that. It is rumoured that this is how Harold Holt got lost.
At any rate, Adams' stygian garments are a true wonder of nature and a site of national beauty, right up there with that big hole in the ground they made a horror film about once, and the medium-sized rock where that film about the schoolgirls disappearing happened, and that largish-sized desert in the middle of it all where those two explorers died. Advance Australia Obsidian!
Do not look into his eyes, or all is lost.
Hi-tech home employment
In my house, I have two cardboard boxes in two separate rooms. Occasionally, I will scribble something on a piece of paper and put it in one box. Then, I will rush into the other room, take a piece of paper out of the second box, and scribble the same thing on that.
I like to call these boxes my Faux Machines.
I failed the Clerihew class
Edith Sitwell
Didn't.
The adventures of Frau Umlaut and the bad case of diaresis
It's the first night of German language classes, and we are all about to learn the two principal grammatical cases of the language, the Awkward, and the Incorrect. The basic set up is this: a bunch of students sit in the room and wonder who the hell everyone else is and why are they here again; and then they get up and attempt to communicate this to one another in a language that nobody understands at all.
There is a teacher who, for the purposes of this blog post, I will call Frau Umlaut. Her part is simple: she just stands up there and introduces the topic for the day in the aforementioned language, which, as also aforementioned, nobody understands. Sometimes she compliments or criticises students in the same language, but how could we tell which is which? And there is a football (why a football?) which we all toss around in a big circle, and take turns introducing ourselves while we hold it. Hello, I am called good! My name is Melbourne, and I live in Tim! And you?
That was three weeks ago. (See? in the past but I was talking in the present tense - I totally do know grammar!). But by far my favourite moment in German classes happened two weeks ago, when, at the end of another exercise in the Awkward and Incorrect cases, another student who I'll call Ess-Tset and I passed accidentally into the third important German case - Just Plain Confused. After exchanging as much irrelevant and pointless information we could in a language neither of us really could understand, Ess-Tset cast around for the right words: "Many bitte!" Which translates to: "Much please!" Though, thinking about it at the time, I realised the German word for thanks had gone right out of my mind, too. (Danke. It's Danke.)
Now, if you'll excuse me - I have a bad case of diaeresis and I have to go to the toilet.
Proety
Lines written after seeing a headline in a local newspaper
Action group wants facts!
Facts group wants action.
Faction calls for tax.
Group wants satisfaction.
Action Faction acts.
Hot Faction-Faction action!
Who wants action facts?
The Faction-Faction-Faction.
Action group wants fiction!
Faction acts on group.
Group wants facts on faction.
Faction head goes floop!
An essay demonstrating that cake is better than biscuits
Cake is better than biscuits. I maintain this, having had extensive experience eating both cake and biscuits, singly and alongside one another for comparative effect. Despite the obvious truth of this maxim, it is but poorly understood in Society At Large. In what follows, I wish to offer a small corrective to this vast general ignorance, in the form of an extensive essay to demonstrate the verifiable and undeniable nature of the proposition that 'cake is better than biscuits'. I will do so PHYSICALLY, taking into account all the dimensions and durations and capacities and velocities and what not; I will do so SYMBOLOGICALLY, with reference to star charts and gematria and so on; and I will do so SUBJECTIVELY, drawing on my own extensive experience. You're welcome.
The superiority of cake over biscuits is clearly demonstrable when we consider that a cake is typically far larger than a biscuit. We may consider its heft, and we may contemplate its satisfying weight, as we hold it in our hand prior to eating it. Such consideration excites the desire and thus, when we actually do eat cake, our pleasure is all the greater. Of course, we may consider a biscuit in the same way too, but there is much less of it for us to appreciate, and therefore, the appreciation when it goes into our mouth is much less.
Biscuits, of course, ought to be appreciated not as one phenomenon, but en masse; here, however, they present us with another difficulty. Though we may have many biscuits, they all taste the same. Cake, however, is a much more variable phenomenon: one rarely has two cakes the same in the house. Therefore, though there are less cakes, typically, than biscuits, they regularly excite the palate with a wide array of flavours, and impress us with their differential nature.
Also, cakes are soft and cuddly, whereas biscuits are much harder and less susceptible to cuddling.*
2. SYMBOLS
Cake, unlike biscuits, is typically round. Biscuits often aspire to a round shape but have this Platonic roundness regularly interfered by crumbly bits and splodges and the like, as they are not often made in a mould. Cakes, as they more closely approximate the geometric symbol of perfection, are clearly better than biscuits in this respect.
It is also obvious that cake is the crowning glory of many parties; whereas no party yet concluded with the triumphant and grandiose arrival of a plateful of biscuits. As the saying goes, the cherry on top of the table with the icing on top of it is the cake, and that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
3. SUBJECTIVE IMPRESSIONS
Cake is also a greater phenomenon than biscuits for a very simple, undeniable reason: I am eating cake right now, and not biscuits. It is a truth universally acknowledged that the cake of Right Now is better than the biscuits of Whenever The Hell I'm Going To Make Them Next. As this is so obvious and undeniable, no further argument need be entered into here.
RECAPITULATION AND CONCLUSION
In conclusion, cake is better than something something something OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
*Not that one regularly cuddles cakes or biscuits, but this ought to be set down here as a favour to those who are considering cuddling various items of food.
How to debate hypothetical vegans
Earlier today, down at the shops, just as I was simultaneously buying an ice cream (Cornetto, thanks for asking) and planning a daredevil escape from the environmentalists walking up and down the street carrying clipboards (crossing the road while they were looking the other way), a devious plan struck me.
The plan was this: I would buy one of the environmentalists - an ice cream.
No no, hear me out! The conversation, as I imagined it in my head, would take place something like this:
ENVIRONMENTALIST: Hi, can I speak to you for just a min....
TIM: Would you like an ice cream?
A devastating counter-attack, I think you'll agree. Of course, being environmentalists, I realised as I thought about this stratagem, they would probably have to say...
ENVIRONMENTALIST: Oh no thanks, I'm vegan. But how lovely of you to ask!
TIM: OH WELL I WILL HAVE TO HAVE IT FOR MYSELF THEN HOW SAD*.
Brilliant, c'est non? But things were about to get very hairy, I realised, in this hypothetical situation:
ENVIRONMENTALIST: Great anyway so on this pamphlet I have here....
But don't worry! My defence is rock solid!
TIM: Mm mmm MMMM THIS ICE CREAM IS SO GOOD! YOU WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU WERE ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY OF IT! OH MY! MMMMM!
But then, as I was thinking about this pleasing scenario, it suddenly struck me that maybe my planning and scheming was all wrong. What if the environmentalist actually did want the ice cream? And stood there - eating it - in front of me?** True - they wouldn't be able to talk to me anymore about whatever it is they were talking about. But they would be eating my ice cream!
Outwitted by hypothetical non-vegan environmentalists. Well, that was a first.
So in the end I just bought one fucking ice cream and nicked across the fucking road while they were looking the other way.
*cf Psalm 23, v. 5: "Thou preparedest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.... my cup runneth over".
**Psalm 23, v. 5 again!
Sunday poem
Half a league, half a league,
Half a league backwards,
Boldly they rode and well
Out of the jaws of hell,
Stormed back from shot and shell,
Floundered and blundered,
Ours not to do or - no,
Maybe we will not go,
See you - next year or so,
Rode the five hundred.
- from the Discharge of the Light Brigade, by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Lines about the Grand Final that don't go anywhere in particular...
It's AFL Grand Final time and I haven't been this excited since Phar Lap won the Ashes against the South Sydney Rabbitohs.
But we'll get to Tiddlywinks in a moment.
Football! The game that turns the champions into men! Or occasionally women, depending on their gender preferences.
The three stages of football: someone's going to win! Someone's winning! Someone has won!
(But lining up for a big kick - do footballers ever get an itchy nose?)
The end (told you I wasn't going anywhere in particular).
How can it bee: an existential dilemma
From time to time I have attempted to upload pictures of our bees to the internet, though not with much success. This has caused something of an existential dilemma on my part: if a picture of something doesn't appear on the net, does it actually exist? What would humans be if you took all the selfies away from them? Well, the same thing happens with bees. So people would be forgiven for being justifiably suspicious of our claims to have bees. This, then, is an attempt to rectify that dilemma.
Here is an unconvincing picture of a guard bee that was hanging around the kitchen window and which you probably won't notice anyway because of the cow in the background. For short, let's just call it 'Unconvincing picture of a bee'.
Unconvincing picture of a bee
As if that wasn't convincing enough, this one time, I got stung in the forehead, and it was totally from our own bees and not from some other bee or wasp or anything like that. Here is a picture of what I looked like after I got stung although it doesn't actually have any bee in it. For short, I call it 'Picture that doesn't actually have a bee in it'.
Picture that doesn't actually have a bee in it
And, to wrap things up, here is a generic stock photo image of a a bee hive that no-one uses anymore. I call it 'Skep', because that's what it is. We certainly don't use skeps at our house, but I've just thrown it in there anyway to make my case more thorough and logically consistent. Also, it looks nice.
The daily grump, or, a finely detailed discussion of all the things I am grumpy about, part #1,000,000,001
Public art: I have decided that I do not like it very much, and, what's worse, I find that I am having more and more opportunities for not liking it very much, at great length, everywhere I turn, which makes me like it even less.
Politicians, at the best of times, are the sort of people who get excited about paving footpaths deep into the heart of the majestic wilderness, setting fences up, and generally plonking gigantic roadways and tollways and bridges here, there, and everywhere. So much so that it is getting that we can't see the footpaths for the fences for the roadways for the tollways for the bridges, much less the majestic wilderness that is allegedly there in the first place. This would all be quite quaint and charming in its own way, and after all, if you don't find a place in politics for these sort of people, where would they go?
Unfortunately, lately politicians seem to have developed taste and culture; and now, instead of getting excited about slabs of concrete or chunks of asphalt, they are developing an alarming amount of enthusiasm for paying excessive amounts of money for art. Not their own art, of course, and nor is it their own money, naturally: that would encourage unnecessary feelings of frugality and thriftiness, which are highly disadvantageous to a political career.
And what sort of art do they like to spend excessive amounts of money on, these people who previously exercised their talents in spending excessive amounts of money on slabs of concrete and chunks of asphalt? Huge art, horrible art, art both hugely horrible and horribly huge so that you can't help but notice it being horribly huge wherever you turn. Oh look, it's a gigantic fucking silver gnome. Oh yeah, there's that arse ugly fake hotel. How about that! And what is most infuriating about all of this is not the expense, or the ugliness, or the cheap attention-grabbing nature of it all, or even the hugeness, it is the inescapable impression that one is being imposed upon, that your own artistic tastes don't matter, that it has all been settled and decided for you by people with more - well, not more taste than your own, certainly, and not necessarily more intelligence than you, either, but certainly more money than you. Oh, they've got bucketloads of that last one. And look, here's some culture, so you don't have to worry about it. There you go, you slobs, have as much culture as you can take!
It is all of a piece with that other common view about people who inhabit the suburbs, that they are an undiscerning mass who generally will do everything they can to avoid culture. But that was never true, not really, since every occasion a person in the suburbs spends not going out to a night in the theatre or visiting the local art gallery or looking fashionable in the company of other fashionable people on Brunswick Street or Sydney Road, they might just be spending quietly at home reading a book or watching the telly or having a party with friends. But no, the assumption seems to be that these people must have culture, the right sort of culture, whether they like it or not, and, oh look, there's another vomit-coloured and turd-shaped statue of Brobdingnagian proportions being erected in the oval behind your house, obstructing your view, grabbing your attention, just when you thought they really were going to let you get away with standing around idly in the backyard admiring clouds.... Will anyone save us from this sudden discovery of taste and culture on the part of politicians?
Thanks to a rather surprising coincidence of events and happenstance, I recently, in the course of two days, came into the possession of three (or possibly four*) student journals from two separate universities (Melbourne and La Trobe). As you may know, I am frequently in the habit of reading such literature in my ongoing quest for more things to be grumpy about, so I eagerly leapt upon these latest publications.
The results were lamentably free of poor writing, reprehensibly well written; barely a howler here or a mistake there to get outraged about. I was thrown into such desperate straits that The Grump had almost decided to get grumpy about a lack of things to get grumpy about (it's been known to happen before). It was only at the last minute that I was saved from this by noticing the apparently ubiquitous label above articles: "Trigger warning" - often substituting any actual introduction or editorial note. "Trigger warnings" were common to both publications from Melbourne and La Trobe. suggesting that it's not only in these two publications that one might find such stuff.
It is curious to observe how infantile trends that seem to begin in student culture in the United States make their way rapidly to Australia. Just why we should feel compelled to imitate this latest catchphrase (there've been a few come and go since I was at uni) is beyond me. Australian students, take a stand, be patriotic - let us independently come up with our own twaddle, free of this American nonsense! Trust me, I'm a grump!
*There is a certain amount of quantum uncertainty about such things in my universe.
Notes towards a doughnut re-education camp
- Geometry: the holes in doughnuts - ideal dimensions of - taste compared to holes in Cheezels - advanced geometry - whether you can fit a camel through - Mobius doughnuts.
- The inferiority of Krispy Kreme and Woolworths doughnuts - being fed boxes of said doughnuts while tied down in a chair and Beethoven's ninth is played to you repeatedly.
- The Sisyphus test - can you roll a gigantic doughnuts up a hill before eating it? - catching doughnuts in your mouth.
- spelling - doughnuts or donuts? - kronuts or kroughnuts? - the inferiority of Nutella to jam - the inferiority of icing to cinnamon sugar.
- variants - Cheezels: savoury doughnuts or chips? - what to do with Spanish doughnuts - ideal heat of doughnut - various taste testings.
- more taste testings.
- more taste testings just to be sure.
Because food is evil and must be punished
Doctors' kitchen knives ban call
A&E doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing. A team from West Middlesex University Hospital said violent crime is on the increase - and kitchen knives are used in as many as half of all stabbings...The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.
They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.
Put down the knife, sir, and step slowly away from the onion
I know this article is a decade old, but the pursuit of truth and outrage and scandal is timeless. So, in the spirit of freedom and all things good and pure, I'd like to take a nostalgic look back at all the other items the nanny state (accursed be its putrid ways!) has banned us from using in the kitchen.
Howitzers
Gone are the days when you could just rocket blast a piece of steak or a delicate bit of blanc monge into submission. Sure, there are egg beaters and such like, but the results are just not the same without that beautiful smell of metal and military explosives, are they?
No no, boys, the souffle is that way!
Thanks, nanny state!
Demonic-slaying axe
There once was a time when you could cheerfully spend a hard day's work spifflicating demons on your sturdy axe before returning home and hewing some honest lumps of bread off with the same axe to have yourself a soothing peanut butter sandwich. Not any more. "Demonic-slaying axes should only be used by approved and licensed slaying authorities", they say. I ask you. Where are we going to find someone like that when we want a sandwich?
"Make me a sandwich! Please?"
And sure, the bench would usually get hewn into splinters when you did cut another chunk of bread, but it was worth it!
Medieval mace
Oh, I can't even prepare the salad dressing with a medieval mace anymore, can I? This is just too much! Actually, I kind of agree with this one: it's much to difficult to whip a mayonnaise into shape with a medieval ball-and-chain concoction: the Luger is so much more efficient for the modern chef.
What do you prefer? This traditional kitchen implement or the more modern-style Luger? Write in, please, enclosing a cheque for $1 million to the usual address!
A spring song
Grey clouds and mizzle -
An appropriately sober
Dose of springtime drizzle
I hope lasts through October.
Enough that bees and flowers
Enjoy their youthful fling -
But without springtime showers,
They will not bear a thing.
We'll have more weeks of boggy
Sodden gloom to trudge through yet:
So thank God for the soggy
And for the rain and wet.
My first tweet
Why join Twitter when you can do it in the more traditional manner?
This is a true story dude it happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of mine in a 7/11 far far away
I was Jason on a city corner one morning - at least, people assumed I was, and who am I to deny them? "You Jason?" they asked. "You Jason? You Jason? You Jason?"
"Nah," I said. "Emma Chisett!"
"You've had a sex change?" said one of them. "That's alright, a lot of us have. You see Mike Hunt over there?"
Of course, I had to look. I find Mike Hunt in the strangest of places. Anyway, things were going along like this for a while, when who should come around the corner but Laura Norder?
"Laura!" we all said. "Long time no see! We haven't done anything, honest!"
"There's no time for that now!" said Laura. "I'm looking for Wayne Kerr - he's pretty big, you know. Looking for a big, gigantic, large Wayne Kerr. You seen him?"
"Is he with Mr Bates?" someone suggested.
Just then, I heard a Russell in the trees. I don't know why, it's just that Russell is always climbing the fucking things. "Get out of the bloody tree, Russell!" I shouted.
"Fuck you!" said Russell, which is just like him.
Laura explained, turned out Wayne had been a Robin up and down the neighbourhood. He drove Alexis round the bend, and then got involved in a big con job stealing people's credit card details.
"Con job?" said Mike. "Con Staralambous?"
"Nope," said Laura. "Even worse. Con Clusion."
Over-enthusiasm
To give four cheers.
Three thumbs up!
To have a smile bigger than your face.
Being over the blue moon.
To give a hearty sphere of applause.
A1OK!
Cheering louder than yourself.
Not just showing up, showing off.
Applauding longer than yourself.
To raise the roof through the glass ceiling.
To bring the house down before setting it on fire.
To be the scream of the crop.
FACTS ABOUT JEREMY CORBYN
FACT! Jeremy Corbyn's jumper is knitted out of the beards of the proletariat!
FACT! In the coming Corbyntopia, there will be a tax on all non-bearded men, with the funds to go to working class women to aid them in their quest for beard reassignment!
FACT! An anagram of Jeremy Corbyn's name is Mereby Jorcyn, which in Rwanda-Rundi roughly translates to "My rhinoceros is on fire!"
FACT! If all the Jeremy Corbyns of the world were laid end to end, from London to Paris, his wife would say, "What are you doing, Jeremy?"
FACT! Beard! Excellent good! Facial hair! Fair future for all! FEROCIOUS AVENGING FACIAL FOLLICLES! IMPORTANT ISSUES! HIRSUTE! RIGHTS FOR ALL! WHO ARE THE REAL TERRORISTS? BEARD!
FACT! There are no more facts!
Vote for beard! Beard will help you!
Pogonological prognostications
Far be it from me to enter into the more abstruse points of style or fashion blogging, but on one occasion a little while ago I heard the possibly beard related feedback that I "looked like I had just slept under a bridge". As you can imagine, this put my beard more than a little out of joint: I was going more for the "looked like an internet troll who hadn't been out of the basement to wash for five months" look, or possibly some "absolutely batshit insane street poetry" chic. But whatever, "just slept under the bridge" look doesn't sound all that different, really. And who knows, perhaps sleeping under bridges is going to become the next big thing?
Fashion is a puzzling thing at the best of times, and beard fashion even more puzzling: one day, beards are in fashion; the next day, beards are out again; the day after, gentlemen's beards are still out of fashion, ladybeards, however, are making a stunning come back. I noticed walking along Alexandra Parade yesterday that Gillette Razors were attempting to stage a little coup with their latest advertising campaign: they invited people to stage a 'hipstervention' for bearded friends. Times are tough in razor land, it seems, with beards being resolutely attached to their hipsters (it would be kind of disturbing if they weren't and just went roaming around on their own, really).
I am kind of ambivalent about this whole thing: my current beard preceded, if not hipsterdom itself, certainly my discovery of hipsterdom. At some point someone expressed a wish that I grow a beard, at about the same point that I began expressing the beard myself. It didn't take much effort, after all.
Beards, for Gillette, et al, are a problem: they just kind of take care of themselves. If you let them, they will pretty much develop their own shape and form, and require little to no bother on the part of the wearer. Many beards develop a natural fork in them. Hairs in a beard, curiously, will tend to tumble down to the one height, as if they had been using a ruler and squared themselves off at that point. And they have a texture quite unlike any other hair on the body: the hairs get all mixed up and form a dense map and are rather - sproingy. For this last reason, beards are extremely useful for putting objects in, which can then be removed at parties or to impress small humans and irritate adults, at the beard owners leisure. And they are a natural opportunity for chaps such as myself to express our natural sympathies with the animal world; ie, my cats have whiskers, which please me greatly. Why can't I return the favour?
The trend for beards won't last, of course. Gillette are just opportunistically trying to cash in on the end of a fashion and looking at the - er - cutting edge of the next one. Thinking about the manscaping trends of the nineties and noughties, one dreads to think what will next be expected of us chaps. On the whole, when it comes to the question of whether to cut off bits of myself or keep them, I fall in favour of the latter proposition. In the meantime, I will continue to manifest my hirsuteness in all companies, whether I sleep under bridges or not.
An understated person
I can't hear you over my thoughts!
Too understated to be a whisper.
Ferociously in between.
A surprising distraction from my distraction.
Even quieter than your audience.
Making less of yourself.
I like you most of some.
Unassumingly unassuming,
Allusions of grandeur
Well, my entry for the latest Speckled Potato poetry competition (write a poem from a cranky pet to its owner) wasn't accepted, so now it is free! Free! Gloriously free! Here it is now, and, as they say in the classics: don't worry, this will all be over in a moment.
Frae a mouse
Gigantic honking human bastard
In whose perfumes the room is blasted,
Your southern winds for years have lasted -
Cutting cheeses?
Would it were so, I'd have breakfasted
On your breezes.
Your odours are beyond proportion -
Is this some form of pet extortion? -
Think of my snout and its small portion
Ere you let fly -
Pray, Sir, to exercise more caution,
Or I die!
(Original Robert Burns poem for contrast).
Seasonable seasoning and reasonable reasoning
Words sometimes make me think of Max Bialystock's encouraging phrase to Leo Bloom: "Kid! There's more to you than there is to you!" Same with words: even when you can't use them, you can use them. Just this morning I burst out into the back garden at 7 o'clock to let the chooks out, I ran smack bang into a pleasingly absurd phrase: "It gets early so early these days". On one hand, it makes no sense at all; on the other hand, you know what I mean!
This phrase pleased me so much that I came up with a list of iterations on the same theme:
End of winter: It gets early so early these days!
Beginning of winter: It gets early so late these days!
Daylight saving: It gets late so late these days!
Return to standard time: It gets late so early these days!
Jetlag: It's too early to be too late over here, even though it's not too late to be late back home.
Long story old man, but let's finish it this way: some people say words aren't any good at all. But they really speak to me!
Priority haiku #2, 3, 4
Just put down the haiku and step away from the computer, Tim! It's not worth it!
I should be working.
Moving cat from lap to chair,
I get lunch instead.
Back on lap again.
I surf the net for cat pics.
Real cat purrs, content.
Lap starting to hurt.
Work almost due. Cat sleeping.
Well, this is awkward.
A haiku about priorities
Cat purring on lap.
There is a knock at the door.
Posted by TimT at 12:08 pm 1 comment:
Poetry yay!
Fearsome and fretful fates, miserable misfortunes, and alliteration
IT'S OFFICIAL - important sociological studies conclude that the worst names to call your child are Penelope or Matilda.
These children, the study says, are amongst those most likely to become involved in blackhearted blackguardry, deadly double dealings, fearsome and fretful fates, miserable misfortunes, and alliteration.
In the words of the study:
The miserable Matilda heaved back her sobs, as the pirate captain, who had vowed to make her his bride, hurled her into the vault. Were she not bound and gagged, she would be able to tell him the terrible truth, the salacious secret that would surely release her from her pitiful plight - that he was her long lost son!
Later in the study's conclusion, we find out that Penelope fares even worse:
O, wretched, wretched, wretched world, sobbed Penelope! For had not she, just now, discovered that her one true beloved, the dashing and daring Sigmundo, had been entombed by his rival suitor for her affections, the palsied, pox-ridden, and putrefyingly repugnant Petruccio? And yet, she dare not speak - for the very life of her mother depended on her silence!
On the other hand, as the study points out, it's quite fine to call your child Bumface or Scrotumfeatures. So there is that.
Scruffy and the Wind
Scruffy and the Wind: a two person dialogue in which only one person speaks
WIND - a jerk.
SCRUFFY - a local feline urchin.
WIND: I AM THE WIND! THE BIG FAT WIND! THE GINORMOUS STORMOUS WIND! I HAVE BLOWN PEOPLE AWAY! I HAVE BLOWN HOUSES AWAY! I HAVE RAZED MOUNTAINS TO THE GROUND! AND NOW I WILL BLOW YOU AWAY TOO!
SCRUFFY: *Stands about in the garden in the middle of the howling wind scratching himself just generally not giving a shit*.
WTFF news: Councils run out of pointless symbolic gestures to be pointlessly symbolic about
OUR NATION IS IN CRISIS TODAY as local councils have announced that they are almost out of pointless symbolic gestures to be pointlessly symbolic about.
The fears come as the City of Moreland council today announced plans to hold a minute's silence to mark the occasion of the dropping of atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The gesture unintentionally emptied out the local council's stocks of pointless symbolic gestures, causing crisis meetings from concerned citizens groups from Brunswick through to Coburg.
"What on earth will local councils do if they don't have any pointless symbolic gestures to pass their time?" said one concerned citizen. "I am concerned!"
"It's a great idea, one minute's silence, but after we've used up that minute, what are we going to do next?" said another concerned citizen. "I am gripped in anticipated existential angst!"
The discovery of the national shortage in pointless symbolic gestures has sent ripples of concern across Australia, with accusations of profligacy from many of our top economists. "For years we have been overusing our pointless symbolic gestures. I mean, local councils being 'refugee zones' or 'nuclear free areas' or boycotting nations halfway around the world? What does this even mean? What value do they get from it?" said one respected national economist with many degrees to their name. "I am a respected national economist with many degrees to my name".
However, local councils have retaliated against the criticism, claiming they have been recycling many pointless symbolic gestures already. "Why, just yesterday I was at a meeting where we had a welcome to country, an apology to the stolen generations, and up to ten acknowledgements of the original Aboriginal owners of the land - and the recycling was all the more impressive for the fact that not a single Indigenous person was present", said the Mayor of one regional council. "What regional council was I running again?"
Other national economists have suggested that there are still creative solutions to the pointless symbolic gesture crisis. "We don't need to start making meaningful gestures yet", laughed one economist. "Not when we have the crimes of the Romans in Carthage to apologise for!"
The Twelve Days of why do we even call it Christma...
NASA launches first Creme Caramel into space after...
May your day be nourished and fructified by the pr...
Rumours that Malcolm Turnbull is actually drinking...
College students denounce college as cultural appr...
The adventures of Frau Umlaut and the bad case of ...
An essay demonstrating that cake is better than bi...
Lines about the Grand Final that don't go anywhere...
The daily grump, or, a finely detailed discussion ...
This is a true story dude it happened to a friend ...
Fearsome and fretful fates, miserable misfortunes,...
WTFF news: Councils run out of pointless symbolic ...


5 Hour Trip. Price includes roundtrip transfers from your hotel. Full BBQ steak & seafood lunch or dinner, soft drinks, beer and wine included. Maximum 32 Persons.
Please enter a value between 1 and 32.
5 Hour Trip. Price includes roundtrip transfers from your hotel. Full BBQ steak & seafood lunch or dinner, soft drinks, beer and wine included.Maximum 10 Persons.
5 Hour Trip. Price includes roundtrip transfers from your hotel. Full BBQ steak & seafood lunch or dinner, soft drinks, beer and wine included. Maximum 12 Persons.
5 Hour Trip. Price includes roundtrip transfers from your hotel. Full BBQ steak & seafood lunch or dinner, soft drinks, beer and wine included. Maximum 16 Persons.
All vessels can be hired privately. Please send request.
All catamarans will conduct day and sunset tours on a private or semi-private basis. Guests on Blue Lagoon I/II will enjoy leisurely sailing in the Caldera, visiting the Hot Springs and a private bay which has magnificent views.
They will see the Red & White Beaches, the Indian Head mountain and the Old Venetian Lighthouse.
There are at least 2-3 stops for swimming and snorkeling, a delicious steak and seafood BBQ, beer, wine and sodas are included as well as round trip transfers. Masks and snorkels are provided.
Triton's tours entail all of the above but since it is a faster catamaran and there is no sailing (power catamaran), it also cruises to Thirassia as well, weather permitting of course. Disembarkation for the guests on a day tour is in Ammoudi and embarkation, for the afternoon guests is here also.
Dream Catcher's tours include a visit to the Red & White Beaches, the Hot Springs and a private bay/beach for a BBQ lunch or dinner. Guests sail and enjoy the entire Caldera and disembarkation for the morning guests is in Ammoudi where the afternoon guests will embark. Transfers are included as well as drinks with the meal service.


How to keep your fat girl happy and healthy.
Shopping Without a Grocery List. Most people who lose weight end up gaining it back within a year. It can be difficult to stick to a healthy diet for more than a few weeks or months. However, research shows that over two-thirds of Americans add cream, sugar, milk and other additives to their coffeewhich can make it unhealthy. Not Eating Healthy on the Weekend. Try these pre- and post-workout muscle treatments to ease the pain and speed r Many people eat late in the evening or during the night, which can lead to weight gain. They found that people gained weight on weekends, as they ate more food and were less active While 8 calories may seem insignificant, it can easily add up to an extra hundred calories per day if you often travel between many floors Out of sight, out of mind just may help in your fight against relationship weight.
Video: How to keep your fat girl happy and healthy Curvy Girl Hacks To Look Good in EVERY Photo! Curvy & Plus Size Posing Guide for Instagram!
Did you know 80 percent of year-olds are afraid of being fat? Happy and Healthy · Raise a Happy Girl; Yes, Your Daughter Just Called Herself Fat in total, but coming from your daughter, they're enough to make your heart totally sink. No one should be bullied for their weight or food choices, but 'fat pride' Empowering women of non-Barbie proportions to feel good about choices, it's important to make a distinction between health awareness and cruelty.
Lots of us know confident, happy people who are overweight — and thin, fit people who If you are overweight, you may feel frustrated, angry, or upset. Sometimes, difficult feelings — and constant worry over weight — make a person eat more.
For example, your goal may be to pack a healthy lunch one day a week.
This means your coffee habit might be contributing to fat gain By following just a few of the tips in this article, you can make sure you get the most out of your healthy diet and exercise routine and avoid sabotaging it by accident. This means people with irregular mealtimes may often feel more hungry and eat more food Meditation is a great alternative for dealing with stress.
This important nutrient can help you stay fuller for longer while eating less food People often find it easier to eat healthy during the week because they typically have a daily routine with their work and life commitments.
Natural scent of a man poem Eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive.
In addition, aim to eat a good balance of healthy fats, lean proteins, fruits and vegetables. Many people eat late in the evening or during the night, which can lead to weight gain.
Video: How to keep your fat girl happy and healthy Do's & Don'ts - Curvy Outfits Do's and Don'ts! 10 Style Hacks for a Curvy Body!
In fact, several studies have found that people who shop with a grocery list are more likely to eat healthier, carry less weight and save more money 45 Interestingly, thirst may be mistaken as a sign of hunger or food cravings by the body 7. If you find plain water boring, try adding slices of cucumber, lemon or your favorite fruit to add a dash of flavor.
For these women, gaining weight turned out to be the real answer to good health.
finding a healthy balance, and keeping my binges under control . of a grumpy fat woman turning into a happy thin woman, I looked back at. Find out why women in love gain weight and how you can keep that girlish that many women in love find that they are getting fat steadily throughout the marriage. take the power back and set the tone for a healthy and happy relationship. Eating healthy and exercising regularly can help prevent this sneaky Having a social life is important for maintaining a happy work-life balance.
They discovered that women who slept fewer than 5 hours per night had a.
This internal clock helps regular processes like appetite, metabolism and digestion, so irregular eating may disrupt their rhythm 6162 However, being too social might be making you gain fat.
Scientists found whole apples the most filling, while apple juice was the least filling This is because it takes time for your body to tell your brain that it is full.
However, eating while distracted could make you eat more food. In addition, research shows that people tend to eat like the people they are with.
How to keep your fat girl happy and healthy This popular beverage is not only energizing, but it is also loaded with antioxidants and beneficial nutrients.
It examines both the pros and cons, helping you make an informed decision.
In addition, research shows that people tend to eat like the people they are with. Although it seems harmless, studies show that people who sit longer are more likely to be overweight. This should naturally balance out your diet and lower your daily calorie intake. Instead, try to cut back on the salad dressings as much as possible, as they can easily add calories to your diet.
A few tactics will let you set him up to make healthy choices. seem like common sense: Overweight teens don't feel happy about their size.
One of the first rules of achieving a healthy and happy body image is to You would never tell your friend she looks fat in a bathing suit, or tell Ditch the things in your life that make you feel inferior, whether that is or TV shows that portray men and women in an unrealistic, sexist way, Silverman says.
If a. Discovering the emotional issues that make maintaining a healthy weight so difficult. If you are happy being overweight, don't read this article. You have every.
A lack of fiber in your diet could be making you gain fat. If you find plain water boring, try adding slices of cucumber, lemon or your favorite fruit to add a dash of flavor.
Instead, aim to get most of the fat in your diet from whole foods like salmon and avocado. This is because fiber helps control your appetite to keep you fuller for longer 3334 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Making a switch to black coffee can provide you with the same caffeine hit without the extra calories 49 Your friends and family can certainly tempt you to stray from healthy eating habits, and your partner is no different.
How to keep your fat girl happy and healthy Eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive.
Shopping Without a Grocery List. Your alone time becomes your couple time, especially if you have a busy schedule with work or other priorities.
Get your calories from whole foods rather than beverages. Otherwise, eating too many healthy snacks alongside large meals can still affect your waistline. Many people eat their food without thinking, which can lead to weight gain.
Just remember to keep your portion sizes at meals in check. This could lead to a loss of up to 4.


text:
The big interview: Cork City chairman discusses Caulfield's departure, prudent budgeting and fan expectation
Picture: INPHO/Tommy Dickson
Denis Hurley
FIVE days a week, Declan Carey works for Amazon in the Airport Business Park. That's his part-time job, but it pays better than the one that takes up the rest of his time.
The northsider holds the role of Cork City chairman and it's one which is quite demanding, especially in the current season, which has proven difficult for the Rebel Army. Before even serving half a year, Carey has been involved in big decisions, including the parting of the ways with manager John Caulfield, while the club are in straitened financial times.
"It's not what I prepared for," Carey says, "because I didn't realise that this season would need so many critical decisions in the first five months.
"Obviously, we had to sit down with John Caulfield and come to an arrangement and things haven't been going so well on the pitch – crowds are down, which is clear to see, and we're trying to do as much as we can in other areas off the field to compensate for that.
"Basically, I've two full-time jobs, really. I would say that most hours of every evening, into the early hours of the morning, are spent dealing with some kind of issues over email or the phone.
"It's been a learning curve in terms of managing my own personal time as well with my family and partner."
Carey did at least have the consolation of a year on the board before being elected to the top job, and was able to try to prepare his partner Antoinette. "I had a conversation with her before it," he says, "but even before I took a place on the board, I didn't anticipate what a big workload it was.
"It was good to spend a year with the previous board to learn the tos and fros of what went on. I studied every member and the stuff they were working on and I learned from them as much as I could.
"In one sense, you're the figurehead of the club in public but ultimately, I have the same vote as the other six members. Does the treasurer have more control over the money than the rest of us? He probably has more visibility, but control he doesn't.
"It's the same thing with me as the chairman – people think I call the shots, a guy came up to me in the street and asked me why I made particular decisions but I explained to him the structure and the whole shareholder arrangement."
The Caulfield departure has been the headline incident this season, one in which City have dropped from perennial title contenders to midtable. Was it a tough discussion for Carey to have?
"I guess it was and it wasn't," he says. "Obviously, he's a club legend, all-time record goalscorer and appearance-holder and most successful manager.
Picture: Oliver McVeigh/Sportsfile
"He's one of the most well-known sportsmen in Cork and a celebrity in himself aside from just being the manager of Cork City or an employee. It was a conversation we had to have with John but things ended very amicably, he's welcome back to Turner's Cross, we had a good chat about things.
"We wished him the best of luck and there were no hard feelings at all, I heard a radio interview with him recently and he said the same thing."
Now, John Cotter – who Caulfield would have championed as a successor – is the interim manager. There is a snag in that the FAI rules seemingly prevent him from taking the role permanently as he is enrolled on the Uefa Pro Licence course and the perception is that a Premier Division manager must hold the qualification.
However, Carey remains optimistic and, if City can find joy, he would like to see the 'interim' part dropped from the job title.
"We're in heavy discussions with the FAI about the Pro Licence situation," he says. "We believe there's certain ambiguity in their rules that leave a lot of this open to interpretation.
"That would be our ideal scenario, that they would allow John to continue. In fairness to the guy, he has studied under John Caulfield for many years, he's sitting the Pro Licence, he'd be able to go over and manage in the Premier League, La Liga, Serie A, but he can't manage in the SSE Airtricity League Premier Division outside of the 60-day rule, according to the FAI.
"Our hope is that he carries on and he's the manager for the foreseeable future. Obviously, then, we're in discussions with John about a potential Plan B and Plan C and Plan D.
"We have a number of options but we're confident that we're right in what we're saying about the rules and we'd hope that the FAI would see our side of it on that.
"We'll take it as far as we need to go, whether that's to the licensing committee or if we have to appeal decisions, we're willing to do that.
"As regards recruitment, John is in the job at the moment and he's doing the most valuable job interview possible. He has the keys to the city, as they say."
But, how valuable are those keys, given that Foras shareholders were presented with a bleak picture regarding finances at a recent general meeting?
"Things are definitely tighter than people expected them to be," Carey says. "We had a budgeted average attendance for this season and if we're off that by a thousand people times the average cost of a ticket, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that we're down a certain amount of funds in terms of cash flow, up to the summer point anyway.
"We gave an update to members on how our attendance figures are performing compared to targets, we also gave an update on merchandise and sponsorship, which are booming sectors of the club at the moment.
"We just gave a realistic update to members and tried to be as open and transparent as we possibly could. There were plenty of questions but members left the meeting satisfied that we had a path forward and we could start budgeting prudently now, putting structures in place that would prevent temporary cashflow issues from coming into play.
"We're in a period like that now, having had no home game for six weeks, that's a no-brainer as well. We've wages to pay every week and every month, full-time staff and full-time players on 52-week contracts."
Picture: Jim Coughlan.
Of course, one way for fans to stay updated – and to help the club – is to join Foras.
"Foras had its greatest number of shareholders back in 2009, when the club was applying for a first-division licence," Carey says. "I think it was up around the thousand-mark then and now it's dropped to around 600. We're always trying to look to see how we can increase membership but one of this board's priorities was to improve communications with members.
"It's important to engage with the current membership and get them more involved, whether they want to become a volunteer or just show up to the general meetings and ask questions, it's a case of walking before you can run in that sense.
"We're working on a new membership system too, where you can sign up easily online and manage things there rather than all of the admin work that goes into maintaining the membership now in its current form. We want to make it as easy as possible for people, so that'll definitely help as well."
more Cork Soccer articles
Cork midfielder Alan Browne signs new deal with Preston North End
Dylan McGlade will return to Cork City as squad takes shape for 2021
League winner returns for Cork City's First Division campaign

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


It is recommended that floor wardens be appointed to implement emergency procedures. The number of floor wardens needed depends upon the number of employees and the size of the office. The floor wardens must (1) be intelligent and capable of providing leadership in an emergency situation, and, (2) work in their respective areas within the building.
Designate evacuation routes, which will best promote an evacuation that is both quick, and safe. Floor wardens should familiarize themselves with building evacuation routes and clearly communicate this information to all employees.
Designate a location outside of the building for everyone in your office to assemble. The meeting location should be well away from the building and should not block or disrupt the arrival and/or operation of emergency personnel.
can check against the list of employees that have evacuated.
Provide for a review of all personnel present at the designated meeting location and require the immediate notification of emergency personnel if it is believed personnel may still be in the building.
If there are handicapped persons within your office, be prepared to assist them to the safest possible location. If you are unable to get them completely out of the building, notify emergency personnel immediately upon their arrival. Floor wardens should be aware of the presence of handicapped persons and alternative evacuation routes, which will make egress as quick and safe as possible.
In accordance with code requirements, we will conduct emergency evacuation drills. We strongly encourage all occupants to actively participate in these exercises. It is a valuable opportunity to test and improve our emergency preparedness.
An emergency is an unplanned event that occurs without notice. It can cause minor to severe disruption in a person's life or a business. An individual's ability to cope with and handle the emergency is directly related to their level of preparation. Please familiarize yourself with this reference document. Doing so will help you prepare for and handle emergencies that may occur within the work place.
This document contains quick reference information, suggestions and guidelines that will assist you in reporting and handling an emergency.
To make this document effective, we must all strive to make it better. Each drill, exercise, or real-life situation offers an opportunity to learn something new. After each incident, we should automatically review our performance and recommend any ideas for improvement to this manual.
It is recommended that all offices conduct emergency procedure and security meetings so all involved have an understanding of what to do if an emergency occurs.
Thank you for taking the time to make this a safer building for all of us. Please read it carefully and keep it accessible.


text:
ResIOT® News
IOTHINGS World 2022
IOTHINGS World 2022 https://www.resiot.io/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/iot-world-2022.png 600 600 ResIOT® ResIOT® https://www.resiot.io/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/iot-world-2022.png 6 April 2022 4 July 2022
IOTHINGS World 2022 15th – 16th June, Milan (Italy) From June 15th to 16th we are waiting for you at the IOTHINGS World 2022, Milan (Italy), the most important Italian event…
New date for LoRaWAN World Expo
New date for LoRaWAN World Expo https://www.resiot.io/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/lorawan-world-expo-new-date.png 988 464 ResIOT® ResIOT® https://www.resiot.io/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/lorawan-world-expo-new-date.png 2 April 2022 2 April 2022
New date for LoRaWAN® World Expo 6th – 7th July, Paris (France) A new date has been issued! The doors of the 2022 LoRaWAN® World Expo will open from 6th to…


text:
For F-15 pilot, 9/11 a Day of What-ifs
grumpy brian Sat, 06/25/2011 - 9:34am
Tim Duffy
If the mods can post this ASAP, some of you may be able to help me with questions. What would you ask TimDuffy, fighter-pilot of 9/11 if he came to your home-county? Suggestions in the comments section please!
source: http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20110624/NEWS/110629636
Almost a decade after the nightmare of 9/11, former fighter pilot Tim Duffy still fields the questions:
What took you so long?
Why didn't you get to lower Manhattan from your base on Cape Cod in time to at least protect the gashed and ablaze World Trade Center from being struck by a second airliner?
"I get that all the time," Duffy said Friday during a visit to the Sonoma County aircraft museum that's become guardian to the retired supersonic F-15 he flew that September morning in 2001.
Trim and prematurely gray at 49, the combat veteran said he's concluded after 10 years of review and what-ifs that nothing could have been done to substantially change the timeline of one of the nation's most ghastly and heartbreaking days.
It was 8:19 a.m. when a flight attendant aboard American Airlines Flight 11 furtively reported by cell phone that she believed the Boeing 767 out of Boston had been hijacked. Duffy was at Massachusetts' Otis Air National Guard base when he was alerted to the apparent hijacking just after 8:30. He and fellow pilot Daniel Nash became airborne in F-15s at 8:52, unaware that Flight 11 had slammed into the North Tower six minutes earlier. The pilots violated military regulations by exceeding Mach 1.4 — about 1,000 miles per hour — but even so arrived over New York City after the hijacked United Airlines Flight 175 slammed into the South Tower at 9:03.
"I wish things could have turned out differently," Duffy said at a Pacific Coast Air Museum picnic table a few hundred feet from his former fighter. "But I think we did right. I can't think of anything I would have done differently."
Another question he's often asked: Had he arrived over Manhattan in time to intercept the second airliner, would he have shot it down?
Duffy, a resident of greater Boston who's been married almost 25 years and has five children, said he certainly would have — had he received an order to do so.
But the fact is, he said, that amid all the chaos and uncertainty about what was happening that morning, he had been given no such order. So he could not have shot down Flight 175 even had the opportunity presented itself.
Though his F-15 was armed that morning with six missiles and 940 rounds of 20 millimeter ammunition capable of being cannon-fired at 100 shots per second, Duffy could not have fired without a direct order. He said he'd have tried to harass the hijackers at the controls but he knows they would have continued on to their target.
"You would have seen me right beside that plane as it went into the building, because I didn't have the authority to shoot," he said.
It seems to make Duffy's blood run cold to imagine having arrived over Manhattan in time to have intercepted Flight 175, which carried 51 passengers, nine crewmembers and five hijackers, and to have been given the order to destroy it.
"That would have ruined my life," Duffy said. "I would have had to do it. I shouldn't say it would have ruined my life; it would have been a very difficult thing to do, let's put it that way."
In 2001, Duffy was a full-time United Airlines pilot and part-time lieutenant colonel with the Air National Guard. Now retired from United, he's now a colonel with the Guard and senior director of global information-technology outsourcing for Siemens.
He suggested that people who've criticized the military since 9/11 for not having arrived on scene in time to destroy Flight 175 might consider the destruction and deaths that would have occurred when the wreckage fell to earth.
Duffy will be at the Pacific Coast Air Museum, off Becker Boulevard on the east side of the Charles M. Schulz-Sonoma County Airport, from noon to 2 p.m. today.
Museum volunteers plan to create an exhibit and 9/11 memorial around his former F-15 and to have it ready for public viewing on Sept. 11.
source: http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20110624/ARTICLES/110629636/1350?p=1&tc=pg
grumpy brian's blog
This post is completely and
(The comment at the top of)* this post is completely and totally irrelevant now.
It would have been nice to not have a 12 hour wait for this to get through the mods - but we are all volunteers, so I get it.
But.....Still.
I will have some video from this event up in a week or so.
grumpy brian on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 9:00pm.
Hey, you tried
This won't be the last time Duffy or Nash will speak in public, so the exercise has value.
To me the problems with the account lie here:
"It was 8:19 a.m. when a flight attendant aboard American Airlines Flight 11 furtively reported by cell phone that she believed the Boeing 767 out of Boston had been hijacked. Duffy was at Massachusetts' Otis Air National Guard base when he was alerted to the apparent hijacking just after 8:30. He and fellow pilot Daniel Nash became airborne in F-15s at 8:52"
I think the main questions are why did it take 10 minutes for the National Guard to be alerted and why did it take 20 minutes to get airborne? I thought these guys are on alert. Cumulatively this adds up to a 20 minute delay. We wouldn't accept a fire commander saying "well, it took ten minutes to get the truck out of the station." 8:19 to 8:52 is over half an hour. Even if Duffy and Nash didn't know the first tower was hit, SOMEONE DID! And if the flight attendant "furtively" reported anything ," then the plane was definitely in trouble. According to Wiki, at 8:20 (one minute later) the FAA determined #11 was hijacked. Two minutes after Ong's call (8:21) the transponder was shut off. IMO they should have been in the air in 10 minutes, tops. More like 8:41.
Ask Bob Bowman.
911Peacenik on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 10:25pm.
I think Duffy has had his own
I think Duffy has had his own questions about the entire day, maybe I'm wrong - but I picked up on some of that today.
grumpy brian on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 10:40pm.
"Duff" Reported A "Plume" From The Bottom Of WTC 1
"Duff" reported a "plume" from the bottom of WTC 1 as its collapse began, during the BBC documentary "Clear the Skies". Plumes can be associated with explosive activity.
Surprised that this apparent account of evidence of an explsosion has not receieved more attention, given his credibility as a witness.
Aidan Monaghan on Sun, 06/26/2011 - 4:08am.
He was sure to use the word
He was sure to use the word "imploded" when describing what he saw the towers do. He was also sure to state that he would have thought "they would have fallen over" as opposed to imploding.
I asked if he had heard about the "Architects and Engineers who were saying the same thing." He replied that he saw a documentary on TV years ago that described "how the towers were designed to implode upon a collapse." He further stated he was unaware of WTC 7, and I believed him when he said it.
I was sure to not use Architects and Engineers for 9/11 "Truth" in my sentance, I was asked earlier who I was with and I said I blog at "Nor Cal", again avoiding the word truth. I thinked it helped me be able to stay as long as I did, and he knew where I was coming from anyway - I asked him to sign my brochure. (An ae911truth brochure)
Thanks for all the good comments everyone.
grumpy brian on Sun, 06/26/2011 - 4:21pm.
More on Duffy:
http://www.historycommons.org/entity.jsp?entity=timothy_duffy
NYT OpEd by Miles Kara and others on "Duffy"
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/opinion/14farmer.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
I always thought of Miles Kara as JAG attorney against truth, but I do not know if his arguments here have any merit.
Sitting-Bull on Sun, 06/26/2011 - 12:21am.
Don't focus on NY
I think it would have been impossible for even the second airliner to be intercepted by fighter jets - even with the best will in the world. However the same can not be said for airliners 3 and 4. There was plenty of time for a response to protect Washington and it's inconceivable that Hani Hanjour was able to wander across the Pentagon and attack at 10 foot above the ground when there were defending air bases nearby and most probably vertical-launch ground-to-air missiles available.
Also by switching off the airliners transponders (making them invisible to FAA) they would be highlighted on military radar screens - especially on AWACS (flying radar) and E4B (Flying Command and Control aircraft) - the latter being seen flying directly on the Pentagon shortly after the attack.
Ynda on Sun, 06/26/2011 - 5:08am.
Since this guy is an airline pilot, I'd be asking...
1. 4 flight crews gave up control of their aircraft to terrorists. Would he have?
2. How easy does he consider it to be for a novice to navigate an airliner to its target and hit it at full speed?
jimwilkie on Sun, 06/26/2011 - 7:14am.
Full Speed Impact Via A Steady, 1.5 Mile Long Banked Turn
Impact by UA 175 with WTC 2 via a steady, 1.5 mile long, 20 degree banked turn essentially means the alleged ameteur hijack pilot was precisely on course for impact 1.5 miles before hitting WTC 2, even under crosswind conditions capable of pushing the plane approximately 130 wide of the building's center if not accounted for.
The precision required for this feat is explained in greater detail here:
http://www.journalof911studies.com/volume/2010/Monaghan_Analysis.pdf
Plenty of questions for Mr. Duffy
There are plenty of questions we could ask Timothy Duffy and partner Daniel Nash about their travel to NYC on the morning of 9/11.
1. Why did it take 22 minutes to launch after the first call to OTIS at 8:30am?
2. Why are there so many different accounts about the timeline, your speed, your destination and your route??
3. Why didn't you go public after the 9/11 Commission reported your activities incorrectly?
Here is the story of Timothy Duffy's travel to NYC on 9/11.
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20110624/NEWS/110629636
"I wish things could have turned out differently," Duffy said .... "But I think we did right. I can't think of anything I would have done differently."
P4T's new film INTERCEPTED
http://pilotsfor911truth.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=21456
showed many new details to me and some contradictions for Timothy Duffy.
At mark 18:20 the film talks about the fighters being launched at 8:52am, telling them to go to lat/lon N41.15 and W73.46, north of NYC. At mark 19:35 they tell the fighter to hold in area W-105 south of Long Island. After WTC2 was struck at 9:03am the fighters are instructed to set up combat air patrol over NYC. (mark 21:00)
The F-16 pilot conveniently leaves the holding pattern delay out of his story.
Question: Could the F-15's have gotten to NYC in 11 minutes?
Surely they could have gotten there if they had launched right after 8:30am. The 22 minute delay on the ground at OTIS guaranteed their inability to intercept UA175.
Once AA11 struck the North tower, why doesn't someone at NEADS or ATC understand that UA175 is behaving the same way and heading to the same destination as AA11?
Here is a timeline showing the activities of Duffy and Nash:
Here is an interview with Duffy telling about the collapse of the North Tower and their position at Kennedy airport during the South Tower collapse.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/18740499/T8-B22-Filson-Materials-Fdr-Lt-Col-Tim-Duffy-Interview-Typed-Notes-321
kawika on Sun, 06/26/2011 - 4:37pm.
Did F-15 Fighters Arrive in NYC at 10:09?
View 911 Eyewitness here:
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/911-eyewitness/
see at:
~6:00----WTC2 Collapse (9:59am)
~6:50----Radio 1010 WINS 10am hour tone
~15:20---Fighter jets arrive
This means the fighters don't get to the site until ~10:09am.
Keep putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
kawika on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 8:49am.
More Confirmations
Here are two more confirmations and background for a post WTC2 arrival of the fighter jets.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDrOotu7tNQ
From NIST Cumulus Video Database.
Folder: Josh Levine from Davis
Source: Release 14, 911datasets.org
http://shoestring911.blogspot.com/2007/09/navy-jets-that-never-arrived-on-911.html
Rudy Washington [Giuliani's Deputy Mayor] called Patrick Burns, who was at Norfolk Naval Station for his two-week Naval Reserve obligation. Among other things, he wanted to know about the status of the Navy jets. [5] Obviously, there was no sign of them yet having arrived over New York. Washington communicated with Natter again from City Hall, apparently fairly soon after the first WTC tower collapsed at 9:59 a.m. Natter said he had now received permission from NORAD to send some planes over New York. How long exactly it had taken him to get this permission is unspecified. [6] Also unspecified is what time the Navy jets were launched, and when--if at all--they reached New York. In describing events right after the second attack, Patrick Burns has claimed: "Air cover was already up with Navy jets out of Naval Air Station Oceana." [7] Yet the first fighters to arrive over New York were apparently two F-15s launched by NEADS from Otis Air Force Base. According to the 9/11 Commission Report, these arrived at 9:25 a.m. [8] In fact, the majority of witnesses on the ground have recalled first noticing fighter jets overhead at some time after 10 a.m. [9]
5] Patrick Burns, "Called to Ground Zero." Notre Dame Magazine, Spring 2007.
[6] Stanley Crouch, "Forgotten Man of 9/11 Played Enormous Role."
http://web.archive.org/web/20050307090610/http://www.nydailynews.com/news/special/story/195289p-168509c.html
[7] Patrick Burns, "Called to Ground Zero."
[8] 9/11 Commission, The 9/11 Commission Report, p. 24.
[9] See "(9:45 a.m.-10:45 a.m.) September 11, 2001: Witnesses First Notice Military Jets Over New York, Later Than Claimed by 9/11 Commission." Complete 9/11 Timeline.
http://www.historycommons.org/context.jsp?item=a945fightersnoticed&scale=0
Giuliani and Fighter Jets
Source: http://www.historycommons.org/entity.jsp?entity=rudolph_%28_rudy_%29_giuliani
According to New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani's 9/11 Commission testimony in 2004, about one minute before the first WTC tower falls, he is able to reach the White House by phone. Speaking to Chris Henick, deputy political director to President Bush, Giuliani learns the Pentagon has been hit and he asks about fighter cover over New York City. Henick replies, "The jets were dispatched 12 minutes ago and they should be there very shortly, and they should be able to defend you against further attack." [9/11 Commission, 5/19/2004] If this is true, it means fighters scramble from the Otis base around 9:46 a.m., not at 8:52 a.m., as most other accounts have claimed. While Giuliani's account may seem wildly off, it is consistent with reports shortly after 9/11. In the first few days, acting Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Richard Myers, and a NORAD spokesman, Marine Corps Major Mike Snyder, claimed no fighters were scrambled anywhere until after the Pentagon was hit. [US Congress, 9/13/2001; Boston Globe, 9/15/2001
kawika on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 12:26am.
As promised:The video
Update: I will make a new post for these videos once I am finished with part 2 of 3.
Col. Tim Duffy describes his day on 9/11. He then starts taking some questions. The film starts a few minutes into his talk...
Col. Tim Duffy answers a couple of questions about speed, if he has read the 9/11 Commission and was he happy with his sections in the Commission Report.
grumpy brian on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 1:29am.


text:
Q: Implicit declaration of function 'UI_USER_INTERFACE_IDIOM' is invalid in C99 In Swift and Objective c Hybrid project(link https://github.com/shohagHub/Constants) I have an Objective C file Constants.h

Where I Declare a macro #define IS_IPHONE (UI_USER_INTERFACE_IDIOM() == UIUserInterfaceIdiomPhone)
When I returned this macro from a method
-(BOOL)isIphone{
    return IS_IPHONE;
}

The Following build error occurs
"Implicit declaration of function 'UI_USER_INTERFACE_IDIOM' is invalid in C99"
How Can I remove this error.

A: please add to your Constants.h
 #import <UIKit/UIKit.h>
it will work

A: Does your file import UIKit? No, it doesn't. Your Constants.h file imports Foundation, not UIKit. Import UIKit instead and your code will compile.
But also note: the docs on UI_USER_INTERFACE_IDIOM expicitly say:

If your app runs in iOS 3.2 and later, use userInterfaceIdiom instead.

So here's a better rewrite of your entire Constants.h file:
#import <UIKit/UIKit.h>

@interface Constants : NSObject
#define IS_IPHONE ([UIDevice currentDevice].userInterfaceIdiom == UIUserInterfaceIdiomPhone)
-(BOOL)isIphone;
@end

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


text:
La route nationale française 416 ou RN 416 est une route nationale française reliant la RN 1, dans la commune de Saint-Léonard, à l'échangeur n° 29 de l'A 16. Elle fait partie du ressort de la Direction interdépartementale des Routes Nord.

Autrefois, la RN 416 était une route nationale française reliant Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines à Ostheim. À la suite de la réforme de 1972, la RN 416 a été déclassée en RD 416.

Voir le tracé de la RN416 sur GoogleMaps

Ancien tracé de Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines à Ostheim (D 416)

 Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines (km 0)
 Col du Haut de Ribeauvillé
 Ribeauvillé (km 19)
 Ostheim sur la RN 83 (km 25)

Notes et références

416
416

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Popular Nigerian Singer and social activist, Charly Boy has declared support for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community in Nigeria.
His renewed vigor to fight for the rights of the LGBT is coming against the backdrop of his daughter, Dewy Oputa, who recently came out as a Lesbian and also showed off her lesbian partner.
He made his support and stance known in an Instagram post in which he says he has in time past fought for Okada riders, Musicians and many others and that now is the time for him to fight for the LGBT community in Nigeria.
All that I have done for over 50yrs of my life is to root for the underdogs.
I turned my back on my goldplated pedigree and wondered into the unknown.
I discovered that victory is a million times sweeter as an underdog. Oh!!!!! Yes.
My life has been one Big fight, against bad habits, poverty, hopelessness and principalities.
But I never backed down.
big money for the Nigerian Musician, spent weeks in the police cell, as a pman president.
Today, thank God they have a better life. Now am the President of Frustrated Nigerians.
I am battling with my comrades to stop the senseless killings of Nigerians.
The oppression of Inocent Nigerians and the weaponisation of hunger.
the military, police, security agents, been teargassed, shot at, stoned and most time misunderstood even by the people I fight for.


Isn't Obama's Execution of UBL, a Rejection of Civilian Trials for Terrorists?
Continue reading about Isn't Obama's Execution of UBL, a Rejection of Civilian Trials for Terrorists?
Barrack Obama, BitsBlog, Current events, Democrats, Idiots, Liberal, War on Terror Print This Post Comments Off on Isn't Obama's Execution of UBL, a Rejection of Civilian Trials for Terrorists?
Energy Leninism? Or Just Plain Leninism?
Continue reading about Energy Leninism? Or Just Plain Leninism?
Barrack Obama, BitsBlog, conservatism, Current events, Democrats, Enviro-Nazis, George Soros, Liberal, News and analysis, Old line socialists, War on American culture, Whacko-Left, White House Print This Post Comments Off on Energy Leninism? Or Just Plain Leninism?


Well if we go off a average drivetrain loss of 30%, and factor that with the 111hp rating on the last pull, we get 158Crank Horsepower. Iirc toyota gave the silvertop a 160hp rating (crank) from factory.
We've already determined that the engine is struggling to breathe with the "stock" airbox/rwd top piece setup.
Looking at those numbers, I'm happy. Also considering that my rev limiter is 100rpm lower than stock, but power peaks at 7600-7800 so it's kinda irrelevant.
I actually drive the car for the first time yesterday. It hesitates slightly around roughly 3,000-3,500.
It needs an alignment and fresh tires. But she scoots along well.
Little things left to do such as finish the body stuff, tidy up some wiring, triple check fluids, get some gauges installed, put some miles on it.
Took her out for the first time last night. Went down the road to the Beyond Donuts Cafe X LastPlaceCo X ForeignLTD meet. Was a big turnout.
Bleeding the ebrake proves to be difficult. The reservoir is from a sport bike, so you have to constantly too off or risk sucking air into the system. Also I had to relocate it slightly because the line goes above the brake master and it's almost the same height as the reservoir.
So now that's fixed, and all three reservoirs are easier to fill. So that's a win.
Me and the woman went shopping for helmets yesterday. We didn't intend to match but we both ended up liking HJC helmets and their flat black.
She got a FG-17, I got myself a AR-10 iii. Both are Snell2015 rated. So we should be good for the next 5 years hopefully.
I'm trying to wrap up a big project at work installing sensors on every machine and wiring the building for automated true counting... the setup week starts the 13th which means I have to be done by then. If I finish by Friday the 9th, I'll actually get my saturdays back in time to go hit the drift even March 10th. Hustle hustle hustle.
Fida wants to install a temporary dummy alarm light since the gauges aren't done.
I think that's about it. It's more or less already ready to go.
Musselman is March 4th or April? I won't be doing anything other than the donut meet this weekend, in fact work may be stopping me from that.


All above-ground Rayburn rooms are also 4 digits, but start with a 2. The second digit indicates the ground number. For example, 2125 is on the first flooring of Rayburn. Clear and straightforward to use planner- keep on high of the each day chaos.Designed to make life run extra easily. Home of Vans Brooklyn will host Classes, a free skate & open mic night time, on Wednesday, February 8th from 7PM – 11PM. RSVP now! RSVP for the Stab In The Dark screening at Home of Vans in Brooklyn, NY Thursday, October 13, 2016.
You will discover out extra concerning the life and work of Charles Rennie Mackintosh and Margaret Macdonald within the exhibition rooms upstairs, and from the information playing cards and friendly volunteers in every room. Try the line-ups and RSVP now for the Home of Vans summer sequence, House Events in Brooklyn, NY. The courts generally do not think about ballot entry rules for impartial and third celebration candidates to be additional qualifications for holding workplace and there are no federal laws concerning ballot access. Consequently, the method to gain ballot entry varies enormously from state to state, and, within the case of a 3rd celebration could also be affected by outcomes of earlier years' elections.
I've served in all three capacities covered on this book: customer, builder, and designer. I can say without reservation that the method as relayed by Kidder is unerringly accurate. He completely captures the excitement and the angst the customers expertise, the pride and the frustration of the builders, and the high art and compromise of the designer. There's a bit of geographic bias right here, as all of the events concerned are New Englanders, and some of their behaviors are apparently local to the world (the unwillingness to negotiate involves mind). I establish most strongly with the builders, and albeit I am afraid I'd've instructed the purchasers to take an extended stroll off a short pier lengthy earlier than the house was finished.