During readings, callers often share that they feel they are being used in relationships, friendships, and even in work situations. Sometimes this is true, and sometimes it isn't. When we hold on to expectations of others, and experience the disappointments that sometimes accompany them, it isn't always easy to hold a clear, unbiased understanding of the dynamics at work. Relationships are always complex, nearly never linear, and highly multifaceted. To this end, there are multiple types of users, though most possess the following traits in an overlapping type of construction.
Financial: Will borrow money, ask for credit cards, and use a variety of manipulation tactics to gain money, gifts, etc. from the person in question. This person is never in the financial position to reciprocate, and often brags about purchases and acquisitions, yet complains constantly about being broke.
Ladder-Climbers: Most often seen in the corporate/business arena. Can be male or female, and will do his or her best to win co-worker and boss approval, tailoring personality traits, interests, and persona like a chameleon. These individuals are those we often see move up in our workplaces to elevated positions for which they lack education and experience to attain on their own. Mentors beware.
Friends: Guys or girls, these are always the people in your life with drama, in constant need of support, advice or an ear, and favors. These folks mysteriously disappear or suddenly become very busy (and MIA) when you need some support of your own.
Relationships: The partner takes little to no interest in your interests, what's going on with you or your feelings, and also lacks consistent efforts attempting to please you, spend money or time on/with you, or do things that make you feel special. This person often makes plans with you and quickly tries to get physical… and then splits. Contact is usually very inconsistent and only on this other person's terms and timetable.
The bottom line is that weeding people out of our lives (that we've either outgrown or who fail to contribute in a positive and supportive way) is never pleasant. However, putting our feelings and the facts onto paper in a simple fashion can always help provide the clarity we need to make tough decisions.
The "porcupine" job climber in my life was covert and hurt me deeply. I treated her like a daughter and mentored her for 3 years until someone told me to watch my back because she had conspired with a professional political consultant (former boyfriend) to discredit me and take my job. Sounds bizarre, but it was real. I called the fellow and asked to meet him. He agreed and corroborated the whole thing. This total stranger knew everything about me, and it scared me. Little red flags along the way suddenly made sense. I've been reflecting on this for 2 months now. I've withdrawn from people at work and realized that she had a total lack of respect for me all along. I don't want to work with her or help her any longer, but my bosses told me there is nothing wrong with a person's wanting to get ahead, so I guess it's survival of the fittest. She does not know I met her former boyfriend. I would love to hear your thoughts on this!
Oh Boy, did this article hit home-exactly what I have been working on. The Takers of the world can only take from the Givers of the world. You will very seldom find Takers seeking out other Takers, they seek of Givers. Takers know and recognize one another, and stay as far away from one another as possible. They seek and find the Givers-then proceed to do their job. It always takes the Giver a little time to get it, as we want and enjoy giving. For the past four years, I have been in the process of "Elimination"; that is eliminating the Takers from my life. It has not been an easy path, as it all had to do with changing myself. Let's just say, to put it bluntly, "DON'T CASTE YOUR PEARLS AMONGST SWINE". Sounds tacky right, but beleive me "Tacky is in order when it comes to Swine. Gina Rose, you had it right–a little hibernation is good for the soul. That is actually taking back our souls. Thanks for the Great Article, Giovanna. This is one Italian that needed to hear this—–again!!!!!
Thanks for this article on using friends, am currently in a very sticky possible using situation myself. Am living with friends I have known for many years, I recently got laid off from a very good paying job and can't do much as far as paying any bills. Anyway my friends work full time jobs to my on-call job I barely have hours for. but it seems like everytime I turn around someone wants money for this or that. Thats ok, except it doesn't go for what they said it would like bills or gas. It goes toward dinners or games or cable. Dont really understand why, if I can barelly get to my job they would ask for money to buy things they dont need and lie about it. Anyway try to sort this out, I am exsausted by the whole thing.
Giovanna, this is a great article, and perfect for a universal "9" month! I agree with all your descriptions, and would just like to add, that while reviewing them, it could be good practice for any of us, to ask ourselves, do any of these apply to me?!
"These individuals are those we often see move up in our workplaces to elevated positions for which they lack education and experience to attain on their own." Wow…so many have crossed my path. You give someone green a chance, and they act ungrateful and dismissive. Those types rarely take ownership or stock for their actions…greed begets greed. Lesson learned!
Yes, Gina Rose, you nailed it.
Another red flag-Now this is ONLY for platonic friends, etc. But beware of a new friend inviting themselves over to your home/residence….. A lot of times they want to scope it out, see what you have, etc. Sum you up etc….
Also, people with their own swimming pools-and if you have kids, too…..People will try to use you for your pool-or bring the kid over to swim/pretending they are interested in you, too, as a friend. Try to avoid that. Make suggestions, like, "Not in the mood for pool, how about taking the kids to the park and making a pic nic? You can find out better this way-before you open up your pool to a user…Same goes for having your own spa. Or even tennis court. And even your own barn with areas for horses. My friend got stuck letting a friend use her barn to keep her horse there, and did not help with $$.
( " friends ") , over time,trying to use me for free advice or just to vent at 3:00 am in the morning.
Thank goodness I'm a hermit by nature though….because I actually find it easy and comfortable to stay by myself.
Thank you for another excellent article with clear, specific explanations on the topic for both our clients and for us.
"Watch out Mentors" seemed to be a particularly important point to me. You are so right-I think we have all seen those whose only talent seems to be to change and please in a heartbeat with nothing of substance to back it up. I have heard, as I am certain we all have from time to time, about mentors whose jobs have been swallowed up by that type of person.
Another type I have to offer is the absolutely fun person we meet who involves us in fun activities and groups that we really enjoy. Little by little, however, you might find that you are now only hearing from this person when they need something from you-information, a link to a job, something they need you to do for them. Hmmm. This can take months or years to develop.
Also, I agree with Miss Krystal-I think many of us have thought we met a new, fun friend in our personal lives who had an agenda for what they could use from us.
It can be hurtful, complicated and uncertain to decide what we are seeing in a friendship, mentoring arrangement, etc. Therefore, I'd like to suggest that you call one of us to help you unravel it and find the truth for you.
I agree totally with you…..Opportunists show a high degree of passive/aggresive behavior.
by the way, if you read this…. is loki pronounced " low-key " as in the mythical Norse god: Loki ?
Let's look at the core of this-hmmmm "Opportunist" has an agenda etc.
So, all you have to do is, set a big boundary….Don't worry, most of the time, that is all it takes…Most of the time….Of course, there is always an exception. But most of the time, they can't handle you setting a boundary because they had you down as a person who they could take advantage of….It's the best way to "test" the core of their intentions. Usually their ego will be spinning wheels because they thought they were smarter than you. A person with good intentions, would try to communicate, show respect and resolve any misunderstanding-respecting your boundary but not running away. I suggest trying that. Can't guarantee, but a lot of times it works.
Great write up, Giovanna. Excellent selected topic for the weekend. Thanks.
Another category to add to the list: Opportunists. They slip under the radar for a spell — covert, not overt. A 'friend' who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve their own agenda, without self-awareness or regard for consequences. Those who milk friendships for what they can — and then deny themselves into oblivion. It's quite difficult to spot these innocent yet insidious types — for they wreak havoc incrementally.
I think the financial manipulative types are the worst….sad, but I've read for clients who have had their hearts AND wallets broken by that type.


I would like to share with everyone how impressed I was with the R/R (rhythmic/repetitive) Carnival that Residential youth counselor Blair Grover and the staff of our Endeavor unit staff put on March 26. R/R activities are part of SaintA's focus on trauma informed care; this type of activity helps to calm a child's brain and promotes self-regulation in children who have experienced serious childhood trauma. The boys in our Endeavor unit are the youngest in our on-site care.
It appeared to be staff driven and fully supported by leadership.
There was large staff turnout and participation.
It offered regulatory activities for the children, families and staff.
It also offered written materials for families to take home with ideas on regulatory activities they can do at home.
Staff made sure that children who did not have families present were accompanied by staff.
The carnival was totally in line with SaintA's trauma informed certification effort, which is aimed at making sure all of our programs adhere to a trauma informed practice.
In addition, in terms of caregiver capacity — the seventh ingredient in SaintA's Seven Essential Ingredients of Trauma Informed Care – the families and children enjoyed their time together; the families got to meet and interact with staff and watch staff in action with the children, and the employees seemed to really enjoy putting on the event and participating in it, regardless of the amount of extra work it entailed.
An added bonus was when I saw and heard staff laughing with the children, the families and each other. It was clear that staff were having fun and that it was truly a community spirit and event.
This event was really perfect from my perspective. It was collaborative, staff had fun and it serves as a great template for other SaintA events.


Throughout my time in the sport of Bodybuilding I have been fortunate enough to make many friends and acquaintances and would like to share some great memories with you with this gallery.
© John Citrone 2019. All rights reserved.


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Home » PCC Vera Baird praises anti-bullying campaign
PCC Vera Baird praises anti-bullying campaign
Young people in North Tyneside who used their acting skills to highlight the issue of bullying have been acknowledged for their involvement at a celebration hosted by Elected Mayor Norma Redfearn.
Pupils from seven schools across the borough – Christchurch Primary School, Holy Cross Primary School, John Spence Community High, Kings Priory High, Monkseaton Community High, Southridge First School and Whitley Bay High School – have produced a film which shares stories and experiences of bullying.
The film was part of a project by North Tyneside Council, which involves working with 11-19 year olds and aims to reduce and support victims of bullying. The project was able to go ahead thanks to funding from the local Police and Crime Commissioner, Vera Baird.
It will be used as a resource in schools and John Spence Community High's drama group kindly agreed to act on the film. All drama students played a part including acting, directing and voiceovers.
Shot in a vacant council property in North Shields, the film looks at the issue of bullying from both a victim's perspective and a bully's perspective and it will be partnered with a lesson plan to be used as a discussion topic within schools and to look at the consequences that can happen because of bullying.
Northumbria Police and Crime Commissioner, Vera Baird, said: "I know that the Young Mayor and Youth Councillors have raised bullying as an important issue after speaking with other young people in their schools and colleges so it's great to see schools from across North Tyneside coming together to bring this anti-bullying campaign to life.
"All the young people who have taken part have done a really fantastic job at raising awareness of bullying and the support that's available and I congratulate them on this very worthwhile project."
The film will sit on its own website www.ypyf.org.uk and be partnered with a poster and lesson plan within its own learning platform. The film is very accessible as it can be accessed by schools anywhere and at any time.
Sue Hall, Headteacher at Southridge First School, said: "This was an excellent way for the school to gain recognition of all the work we do on our core values and school ethos to promote friendship with our very young children."
Teacher Kim McCaughey from Monkseaton Community High added: "We have loved having this opportunity to participate in this anti-bullying event. Today has been an excellent way to celebrate with one another and bring anti bullying to the forefront."
As part of the project the young people also created posters, purchased pocket size bullying survival packs for schools and youth groups and helped to develop a North Tyneside Anti Bullying Standards award to support schools in introducing the set standards produced by the project.
Elected Mayor, Norma Redfearn said: "This project is a great example of North Tyneside Council's Young Mayor and Youth Councillors listening to young people and delivering projects that will support them and address issues that are important to them. This project has also given young people across the borough the freedom to develop a film that will interest and engage their peers.
"It's vital that we continue to address bullying and work with children and young people across the borough. This has been an extremely successful project and the young people involved have worked incredibly hard to produce some excellent work – and work which can be used in the longer term to help and support other young people."

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Q: Insert C# code into (.js)javascript file In the asp.net mvc 3 application I have two views which have the same set of javascript functions. Javascript is identical so I want to reorganize this code and extract all the javascript code into .js file in order to include it in both chtml files.
The problem is that one of the javascript functions uses C# code in order to get some data from model. How can I insert C# code into the javascript(.js) file or how can I extract all this code into a separate chtml file and include it in both of the previous?

A: You can't natively, or at least you shouldn't. Both for maintenance and performance reason.
You should instead redesign your javascript to have parameterized methods, and initialize the custom value from your views.
Think like jQuery. A lot of plugins are available, standardized, but they are initialized with specific value on pages that are consuming them.

A: If your javascript contains different data then it's not identical.
I would extract the identical functionality into a .js file, and either generate a chunk of javascript data in you page that the .js can use, or refactor to a service that returns JSON.

A: You could use a partial view to write the <script> tag and call that from both pages. You could also use an HTML helper if you think that's more suitable.
However, I wouldn't recommend either.
One option is to find a way to put the values that change onto your page (possibly as html5 data- attributes), then use an external .js file for your JavaScript code, which is not manipulated by the C#, but instead gets the data from the HTML itself.
Another (not quite as beautiful) option would be to have each page set a series of JS variables in a <script> tag, then use them in your external .js file.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


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Press Start's 2019 GOTY #1 – Control
Big Ant Would Love Ashes Cricket To Be On Nintendo Switch
By Matthew Zimmari
In Nintendo News
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Earlier this week, we had the chance to speak to Ross Symons, the CEO of Big Ant about the newly announced Ashes game, improvements that have been made to mechanics in the cricket franchise and what it means for Big Ant to now be developing and publishing games.
Ashes has so far only been announced for PS4, Xbox One and PC. So far, we've seen that sporting games have been a great success on Nintendo Switch due to the fact that people love playing sports games on the go. Ashes (as well as games such as Rugby League Live and AFL Evolution) haven't come to Nintendo Switch despite the fact that we've seen Australian sporting games on Nintendo consoles in the past.
Currently, there appears to be no plans to bring Ashes to the Nintendo Switch, but this doesn't appear to be due to the fact that Big Ant don't want it on the platform.
"I would love to do the Switch; the Switch is made for this. There's nothing like Cricket and using something like the Switch where you have the motion controllers – it just makes sense. Unfortunately I did reach out to Nintendo but it didn't get much of a response. We've made games for Nintendo systems in the past, but I really hope we can support the Switch because it really does make a lot of sense, especially with motion controllers and cricket going together." said Big Ant's Symons.
"A little bit of that is up to Nintendo – we need to get someone from Nintendo who wants a cricket game on their system and then we're up for it." continued Symons.
Ashes Cricket will be the first time that Big Ant self publishes a game (with distribution by Five Star Games).
"We're the first developer in this country to actually be developing and publishing. It's an amazing difference; it's taken me 15 years to be able to get the ability to print a disc with Microsoft and we're finally doing that this year." said Symons.
EA Is Releasing A New Sports Game Next Year And It Better Be Aussie Rules Or Cricket
Ashes Cricket Review – Nice Gary!
The BioShock Games Look To Be Coming To Nintendo Switch


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