text:
NYS Allies for Public Education are parents, educators and community members who firmly believe in the power of public education and its fundamental link to the success of a thriving community and a transparent, democratic government.
We believe excessive testing and inappropriate sharing of private student data without parental consent threaten the future of our students, our schools, and our state.
While meaningful assessments are an essential component of a world-class education, the NYS Common Core (Next Generation Learning Standards) standardized assessments are aligned with unproven reforms neither supported by vigorous research nor vetted by educators and parents.
NYS ALLIES FOR PUBLIC EDUCATION EXISTS TO ADDRESS MANY ISSUES INCLUDING THE FOLLOWING:
EXCESSIVE STANDARDIZED TESTING
is consuming up to 25% of our children's academic year. It forces teachers to "teach to the test," costs millions of dollars, teaches children there is only one right answer and takes the joy out of learning.
OUR CHILDREN'S PRIVATE, PERSONAL INFORMATION IS BEING STORED IN LARGE DATABASES
and is being provided to private companies without the permission of parents, and without providing an opt-out provision to be removed from the database.
UNITING REGIONAL GROUPS FROM ACROSS NEW YORK STATE
in one location where we can work together for the betterment of education in NYS.
Our Steering Committee
Carol Burris
Carol is the Executive Director of the Network for Public Education. Carol served as a school board member, middle school teacher, high school teacher, assistant principal, and high school principal for nearly thirty-five years in total in Long Island school districts. Carol is the Executive Director of the Network for Public Education. Carol served as…
JEANETTE DEUTERMANN
Nassau County Long Island, parent of two public school children. Parent advocate. Founder of Long Island Opt Out, co-author of Opting Out – The Story of the Parents' Grassroots Movement to Achieve Whole-Child Public Schools.
AMY GROPP FORBES
Parent of 3 New York City public school children, parent advocate, and co-founder of NYC Opt Out.
EILEEN GRAHAM
Former Rochester public school parent and advocate. Founder of Black Student Leadership.
LEONIE HAIMSON
Founder and Executive Director of Class Size Matters and Co-chair of the Parent Coalition for Student Privacy. In 2014, she received the "Parent Voice" award from Parents Across America for her work defeating inBloom and protecting student privacy. In 2015, she was named one of the ten most influential people in education technology by Tech…
MICHAEL HYNES, ED.D
Long Island superintendent of Port Washington school district and father of 5 children. Public school education advocate. Served from 2016 to June 1, 2019 and continues to serve in an advisory capacity
NY BAT leader, lifelong professional artist, education blogger and reporter, and art teacher in New York City public schools. Jake is a father of two school-aged daughters.
MARLA KILFOYLE
Public school parent, National Board Certified Teacher, 30 years in the classroom, former Executive Director for BATs, Grassroots Liaison for Network for Public Education.
SHALA PASCUCCI
Parent of two children, ages 12 and 14. Cofounder of Kings Park Advocates of Education and board member of Smithtown Youth bureau.
LISA RUDLEY
Westchester County parent of three children; two still attend public schools and one at a SUNY university. Lisa is an advocate for children with special needs and serves as the Ossining School Board President. Co-author of Opting Out – The Story of the Parents' Grassroots Movement to Achieve Whole-Child Public Schools.
JANINE SOPP
Brooklyn parent of a high school freshman, parent advocate, co-founder of NYC Opt Out, ceramic artist and Director of Clay Space 1205
Fatima Geidi
Current NYC public school parent of two boys on the Lower East Side. She has served on District 1 diversity committee as well as been a member of the School Leadership Team at her son's East Village public school.
Lisa Eggert Litvin
Attorney, Parent Advocate, with focus on regulatory process. Her work includes being a Consultant with NY's Board of Regents, most recently working on the Graduation Measures Project, and has also served as President of the Hastings-on-Hudson Board of Education, and Co-Chair of the NY Suburban Consortium for Public Education
Jamaal Bowman
Founding Bronx principal of CASA public middle school and parent. Prior, he was a guidance counselor, teacher, and Dean of Students at The High School of Art and Technology at the Martin Luther King Jr. Campus. Congressman-elect (District 16) 2021. Read inspiring words from Congressman-Elect, Jamaal Bowman
Naila Rosario
Public school parent, and the former President of the Community Education Council in District 15, representing the neighborhoods of Cobble Hill, Boreum Hill, Park Slope, Gowanus, Sunset Park, and parts of Fort Greene. She is the President of NYC Kids PAC.
Former Steering Committee Members
DEBORAH ABRAMSON-BROOKS
Nassau County, Long Island, parent of one child. Public school advocate. Co-founder PW Advocates for Public Education; charter member National Parent Coalition for Student Privacy. Former Assistant District Attorney for Nassau County. Former Assistant Public Defender for Baltimore City. Served from 2015 to June 15, 2019
CHRIS CERRONE
Western New York parent of two public school children, twenty-two year veteran educator, and Board of Education Trustee for Springville-Griffith Institute School. Co-founder of WNY for Public Education. Served from 2013 to August, 2020.
JOHANNA GARCIA
Parent of three public school children. Parent and education advocate. President of CEC District 6. Co-founder of Dyslexia Plus in Public Schools. Executive Director at City College of New York. Former Chief of Staff to City Council Education Committee Chair, Robert Jackson. Served from 2016 to 2019.
KEVIN GLYNN
Long Island parent of children, ages 10 and 5 and teacher. Co-founder of Lace to the Top. Served from 2013 to 2018
KEMALA KARMEN
Co-founder of NYC Opt Out and the parent of two children who attend a public 6-12 school affiliated with the New York Performance Standards Consortium. She lives in Brooklyn and is deputy director of NYCpublic, a design-thinking community engagement consultancy, as well as a producer/writer for the production company Shoot4Education Served from 2016 to 2020.
JESSICA MCNAIR
Central New York parent of children two public school children, educator, advocate for children & public education. Founder of Opt Out CNY. Served from 2013 to 2017
KATIE ZAHEDI, PH.D
An administrator in the Mid-Hudson Valley and previously a teacher. She is the mother of 4 children who all attended New York public schools. Served from 2015 to 2018


The Passionate Foodie: Eating for the scent of it.
Food... its one of those things you cant live without, well i cant anyway.
In the last few weeks i have seriously been considering giving up the thing i love the most(apart from Hubby) "food", I've been thinking of leaving the industry and stop talking about the things i love.
Then i was in the middle of a little suburb just outside of Melbourne called Bacchus Marsh, surrounded by fresh homegrown produce and little bakehouse's and i stopped and realised that there is no way possible i would give this up.
Cooking, Eating or Dining is what helps us restore all our senses, if you stop and think about it what would food or the whole experience be like if you couldn't see what we were eating? and if we couldn't see what we were eating would you still eat it if you couldn't smell it?
I have a challenge for you.. next time you crack into a block of chocolate before if your anything like me you devourer the entire thing take a small piece and block your nostrils!
as you chew you can feel that its smooth and taste that its sweet now before you swallow it unblock your nose then .... WHAM!!
You are hit with this scent of pure indulgence one that I'm sure you don't appreciate as you sit on the couch watching a soppy Hugh Grant movie while eating enough chocolate to get your entire calcium intake for a year, maybe that's just me?
Anyway food is a precious thing, but because it is so readily available everywhere i don't think we truly understand how enjoyable it can be.
As i sit here writing this blog and actually wonder if anyone is reading this, wondering if i can get people to see food how i do or if we are a dying breed and that we are just eating because we have to.
when i wrote my macaroon blog i had a comment and i have to say that i have never been SO EXCITED that i had someone that wanted to read what i had said, what i had thought and wanted me to keep talking. So to that person i would like to thank you for helping me get the confidence to keep writing.
Basically what i am asking of people is to let me know what you think? what would you like me to write about? any tips or recipes you may need? plus it will also help me find out how i can get others thinking about food ?


According to the studies done by Yankelovich Research Company, 65% of Americans are fed up with marketing messages and 69% think ads should be completely wiped out. 87 million people in the USA have signed up to stop receiving telemarketing calls, and 42% of internet users block marketing pop-ups.
Consumers seem eager to get the media under their control. Google lets people download video files; 16 million Americans download music via the internet to their I-Pods. For TV, the future seems to belong to TiVo, which allows people to watch what they want to, when they want to. Almost 90% of TiVo users do not watch commercials. If things continnue this way, by 2007, 60% of TV users will be zapping all commercials. This means that 6.6 billion dollars worth of marketing will be tossed into the trash. Since most people are spending more time on-line, the first solution, which 73% of big firms have come up with, is marketing on the internet.
We shared our thoughts on media with an expert who has dedicated himself to the American media, William J. Grimes. After becoming Vice President at CBS and working with companies like ESPN, Multimedia Inc, and Zenith Media as CEO, Grimes is now a media investment consultant. We talked about the extent of the unavoidable process that the media is in with New School Univeristy Media Management Department Chair J. William Grimes.
Can you evaluate the latest trends in media? Is the traditional media losing its battle with the new media?
I think the biggest trend is because of bigger distribution, satellite, Internet, more people are getting a greater choice of content. There is more content and there are more ways to distribute the content. So the audience is getting smaller for traditional media. The result of that will be, I think, more new content producers, information and entertainment products distributed to smaller groups of people. So the winners will be smaller new companies. And losers, when I say losers, they are not going to out of business, the New York Times will not go away, but they will have increasingly reduced readership because the readers will have much greater choice of content.
Rupert Murdoch made a speech and he commented about the newspaper reporters and editors adapting to the digital age. Will the nature of this profession change?
The New York Times company formed a committee to look at New York Times paper and website, to understand what they were doing wrong. This committee came out with a number of things the Times was not doing well. One of these is if you write a letter to the Times, you hardly ever get a response back. They decided that they had to find a way to communicate with the readers. They decided to use fewer unnamed sources, because the readers don't like unnamed sources. I think we are going to see changes in traditional media. The magazines and newspapers will be more responsive to the readers because the readers can go to the Internet now and interact with bloggers. Blog are having an increasingly large impact on readership. People who read blogs frequently do not read traditional newspapers or magazines.
How are the advertisers affected?
This year advertisers in the US have spent 5 percent of their budgets on Internet advertising. That means 10 billion dollars of the 200 billion USD marketing budget. That's up from 2 percent 3 years ago. So it is growing very rapidly. The traditional media, particularly broadcast TV and TV networks, and magazine companies, are losing their advertisers to websites, Google and Yahoo and AOL. AOL looks like an old company now.
New School Univeristy Media Management Department Chair J. William Grimes.
Does audience measurement make a big difference?
Audience measurement, particularly of TV and radio, has been unreliable. There is not enough data not enough people are questioned. Nielsen measures only about 10 thousand US homes, but there are a hundred million US homes. The new technology will enable media companies and advertisers to have a better, more accurate measurement of how many people are reading the ads.
It will mean if a media company or a magazine or a TV doesn't deliver the audiences interested in the advertisement companies' product, then the advertising company won't be buying more TV ads. We heard the other day General Motors is cancelling a lot of TV advertising. They are buying advertising on Yahoo, Google or other internet companies. That's because I think they have an idea that the internet companies are working better for them.
Is Video-on-demand a radical change?
All this programming will be stored at the cable company and accessed by the individual, but there will be a charge for that. This will grow the business, but it will change the way the people watch TV. TiVo has already started this with time-shifting, delaying programs, and eliminating commercials. Video-on-demand will have a big impact on advertisers and media companies. This is better for the consumers because they get more choice. They will get more programming when they want. The winner is the consumer.
TV and media will change more in the next 5 years than it has changed in the last 50 years. Do you agree?
I would say it exhausts me to think about that much change. I assume the ability to send a lot of data in video, audio or text formats to people wherever they are, at home, on vacation, in their cars will continue. The ability to access data when they want will put people in charge. The advertisers are going to find different ways of investing their money.
Who are going to be the media producers in this case?
CBS or Time Warner would not produce such a program because the audience for it would not be big enough for them. There are going to be exciting opportunities for more people. The producer of the program of the eye glasses does not have to go to the media company, he can directly go to the advertiser. He can say, "Do you want to sponsor this, we can sell it on the internet." The networks are going to lose their control over the advertiser producer relationship.
- Viewers have stopped following traditional media sources like television and newspapers.
- Various big and small firms with diverse programs in media are going to spring up.
- In the long term the winners are going to be small firms and the losers are going to be traditional media companies.
- Traditional media companies are going to publish and acquire more advanced websites.
- Magazines and newspapers are going to increase their focus on their readers.
- New technologies are going to allow media companies and advertisers to measure the number of ads viewed with more accuracy and efficiency.
- The way people watch TV is going to change. The kind of TVs that allows them to watch what they want and when they want is going to increase.


Here we go! Episode two is now available for everyone's ears to endure. Novelist Aliya Whiteley (The Beauty, Arrival of Missives) is on the podcast talking historical research, fate, short stories, and when electricity first came to Somerset. She also reads a brand new short story inspired by the prompt set for her by our guest from episode one.
Quick apology – the sound quality on this episode isn't quite as good as it should be. Sorry about that.


At the recent F8 conference in Silicon Valley, Mark Zuckerberg, has unveiled some bold new products, which will enable IT companies to have a personalized touch of the Internet, through Facebook.
Facebook aims to create tools that are user-friendly and enable users to interact on the Internet using their Facebook accounts.
Apart from just giving a personal touch to the web, Facebook will bring in a revolution as to how users surf through the Internet, interact and buy products online. As the Internet has begun to become less anonymous, Facebook seeks to establish hegemony over Google.
Earlier no one would have thought that Facebook would come with an open challenge to Google, but the recent strategy that has been unfolded by Mark Zuckerberg, seems to set a new horizon in the history of the Internet. Google posed a threat to Microsoft and had stolen some limelight from it, in recent years. But now the big fish (Google) will have to see how much of deep water it is in, after Facebooks open declaration.
The strategy to increase Facebook's dominance will not only be a business opportunity but also raise questions on Internet privacy. For the time being Mark Zuckerberg has silenced all, by providing a permeable glance at Facebook's distant future.


text:
Zorocrates mistus är en spindelart som beskrevs av Octavius Pickard-Cambridge 1896.

Zorocrates mistus ingår i släktet Zorocrates och familjen Zorocratidae. Inga underarter finns listade i Catalogue of Life.

Källor

Spindlar
mistus

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


text:
The COVID-19 PANDEMIC: A Rapid Global Response for Children with Cancer from SIOP, COG, SIOP-E, SIOP-PODC, IPSO, PROS, CCI and St. Jude Global
Geneva, Switzerland – April 22, 2020 – The COVID-19 pandemic presents an unprecedented global threat to the safe and effective care for children with cancer. As an official non-state actor with WHO and one of the major stakeholders in the WHO "Global Initiative on Childhood Cancer", the International Society for Paediatric Oncology (SIOP) recognised that there was an urgent need amongst health care professionals and families for informed guidance on the range of reasonable and safe adaptations to their services and cancer treatment, while protecting the health and safety of staff, patients and families. "We want to enable our colleagues around the world to be able to help and guide their patients and families affected by COVID-19 through informed decision making," said Professor Kathy Pritchard-Jones, SIOP President.
SIOP has successfully led the coordination and development of a rapid global response for children and adolescents with cancer. With contributions from 65 authors worldwide, the disease-specific and discipline-specific tables and guidance, titled "The COVID-19 PANDEMIC: A Rapid Global Response for Children with Cancer from SIOP, COG, SIOP-E, SIOP-PODC, IPSO, PROS, CCI and St Jude Global," is published today.
This publication aims to provide pragmatic solutions for the problems facing our medical and nursing colleagues who care for children with cancer, regardless of where they live. The publications supports the growing momentum on early diagnosis initiatives as well as the governments' efforts to implement the World Health Organization's "Global Initiative on Childhood Cancer" goal to reach at least a 60% survival rate for children with cancer by 2030.
As the only global multidisciplinary professional society entirely devoted to paediatric and adolescent cancer, SIOP strongly believes that the guidance in this publication will help our colleagues to improve the situation for children with cancer in these unprecedented times. Through global collaboration, education, training, research and advocacy, SIOP seeks to advance our vision that "no child should die of cancer."
We would also like to express our sincerest gratitude to all authors who contributed to the development of the publication, as well to the leadership of the principal child cancer organisations including SIOP-Europe, the Children's Oncology Group, SIOP-PODC, IPSO, PROS and St. Jude Global, who formed ten disease and specialty working groups, together with input from parents' representatives from Childhood Cancer International, for their personal time investment to meet virtually and work together on this publication.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


The U.S. Department of Education will hold meetings this month to seek reaction from the public on proposed rules that would change the way the No Child Left Behind Act is implemented.
The meetings are scheduled for May 14 in Boston; May 15 in Dunwoody, Ga., north of Atlanta; May 19 in Kansas City, Mo.; and May 22 in Seattle. Details are available in the April 29 Federal Register.


SEATTLE — No matter how heavy each step becomes, no matter how labored each breath, no matter how much your legs ache or how much sweat is dripping into your eyes, the incentive to keep going is looking at you at each landing, compelling you to push on to the next floor and the next and the next.
Thank you for applying as a career Firefighter/EMT and/or Firefighter/Paramedic with Emergency Services, the process to become a Firefighter/EMT or Firefighter/Paramedic with the City of Salisbury Fire Department is quite extensive.
During your paramedic education you will also become certified in Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS), Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS), and Prehospital Trauma Life Support (PHTLS). EMT / PARAMEDIC STUDENT CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT .
City's offer: Get paid to become a Honolulu EMT will meet the requirements for paramedic training. He also wonders whether there will be the capacity to provide clinical training for both college students and academy recruits.
Completion and National Registry EMT – Paramedic certification, the technician must apply for If in an ALS Bridge certification Program, must have become certified at the lower level prior to certification testing for the higher level of ALS certification.
Competitive environment so that they can become effective lifelong learners. Emergency Medical Technician-Paramedic Purpose: 5. Be eligible to take the State of Florida EMT-Paramedic State Board Exam.
EMT (Emergency Medical Technology) program will prepare the student for state board certification or national registry as an emergency medical technician and a paramedic. current Florida EMT license and meet the other program admission requirements .
For 47 Selma High School students, class involves a lot more than taking notes on a lecture and answering a teacher's questions.
A Columbia, Tennessee, man born in Johnson City says he wouldn't be alive today without the help of two emergency responders. That's why, almost 31 years later, he drove hours to say "thank you."


text:
"""
I{Paramiko} (a combination of the esperanto words for "paranoid" and "friend")
is a module for python 2.3 or greater that implements the SSH2 protocol for
secure (encrypted and authenticated) connections to remote machines.  Unlike
SSL (aka TLS), the SSH2 protocol does not require heirarchical certificates
signed by a powerful central authority.  You may know SSH2 as the protocol that
replaced C{telnet} and C{rsh} for secure access to remote shells, but the
protocol also includes the ability to open arbitrary channels to remote
services across an encrypted tunnel.  (This is how C{sftp} works, for example.)

The high-level client API starts with creation of an L{SSHClient} object.
For more direct control, pass a socket (or socket-like object) to a
L{Transport}, and use L{start_server <Transport.start_server>} or
L{start_client <Transport.start_client>} to negoatite
with the remote host as either a server or client.  As a client, you are
responsible for authenticating using a password or private key, and checking
the server's host key.  I{(Key signature and verification is done by paramiko,
but you will need to provide private keys and check that the content of a
public key matches what you expected to see.)}  As a server, you are
responsible for deciding which users, passwords, and keys to allow, and what
kind of channels to allow.

Once you have finished, either side may request flow-controlled L{Channel}s to
the other side, which are python objects that act like sockets, but send and
receive data over the encrypted session.

Paramiko is written entirely in python (no C or platform-dependent code) and is
released under the GNU Lesser General Public License (LGPL).

Website: U{http://www.lag.net/paramiko/}

@version: 1.7.4 (Desmond)
@author: Robey Pointer
@contact: robey@lag.net
@license: GNU Lesser General Public License (LGPL)
"""

import sys

if sys.version_info < (2, 2):
    raise RuntimeError('You need python 2.2 for this module.')

__author__ = "Robey Pointer <robey@lag.net>"
__date__ = "06 Jul 2008"
__version__ = "1.7.4 (Desmond)"
__version_info__ = (1, 7, 4)
__license__ = "GNU Lesser General Public License (LGPL)"

from transport import randpool, SecurityOptions, Transport
from client import SSHClient, MissingHostKeyPolicy, AutoAddPolicy, RejectPolicy, WarningPolicy
from auth_handler import AuthHandler
from channel import Channel, ChannelFile
from ssh_exception import SSHException, PasswordRequiredException, \
    BadAuthenticationType, ChannelException, BadHostKeyException, \
    AuthenticationException
from server import ServerInterface, SubsystemHandler, InteractiveQuery
from rsakey import RSAKey
from dsskey import DSSKey
from sftp import SFTPError, BaseSFTP
from sftp_client import SFTP, SFTPClient
from sftp_server import SFTPServer
from sftp_attr import SFTPAttributes
from sftp_handle import SFTPHandle
from sftp_si import SFTPServerInterface
from sftp_file import SFTPFile
from message import Message
from packet import Packetizer
from file import BufferedFile
from agent import Agent, AgentKey
from pkey import PKey
from hostkeys import HostKeys
from config import SSHConfig

# fix module names for epydoc
for c in locals().values():
    if issubclass(type(c), type) or type(c).__name__ == 'classobj':
        # classobj for exceptions :/
        c.__module__ = __name__
del c

from common import AUTH_SUCCESSFUL, AUTH_PARTIALLY_SUCCESSFUL, AUTH_FAILED, \
     OPEN_SUCCEEDED, OPEN_FAILED_ADMINISTRATIVELY_PROHIBITED,  OPEN_FAILED_CONNECT_FAILED, \
     OPEN_FAILED_UNKNOWN_CHANNEL_TYPE, OPEN_FAILED_RESOURCE_SHORTAGE

from sftp import SFTP_OK, SFTP_EOF, SFTP_NO_SUCH_FILE, SFTP_PERMISSION_DENIED, SFTP_FAILURE, \
     SFTP_BAD_MESSAGE, SFTP_NO_CONNECTION, SFTP_CONNECTION_LOST, SFTP_OP_UNSUPPORTED

__all__ = [ 'Transport',
            'SSHClient',
            'MissingHostKeyPolicy',
            'AutoAddPolicy',
            'RejectPolicy',
            'WarningPolicy',
            'SecurityOptions',
            'SubsystemHandler',
            'Channel',
            'PKey',
            'RSAKey',
            'DSSKey',
            'Message',
            'SSHException',
            'AuthenticationException',
            'PasswordRequiredException',
            'BadAuthenticationType',
            'ChannelException',
            'BadHostKeyException',
            'SFTP',
            'SFTPFile',
            'SFTPHandle',
            'SFTPClient',
            'SFTPServer',
            'SFTPError',
            'SFTPAttributes',
            'SFTPServerInterface',
            'ServerInterface',
            'BufferedFile',
            'Agent',
            'AgentKey',
            'HostKeys',
            'SSHConfig',
            'util' ]

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


Imagine you are coaching a Little League team. There's a lot of things you need to track—the batter at the plate, the play in the field, the kids wriggling in the dugout. You look over to the bench and see Kid #1 spitting sunflower seeds at Kid #2. You explicitly told them not to spit at each other! Kid #2 gets angry and starts to push Kid #1. You separate them and Kid #1 loudly insists he wasn't spitting seeds. But you saw it! Now he is lying on top of everything else! And the game is still going on, and so you just shout "Out!" to the spitter. He is incensed and shouts he wasn't spitting at the boy and he is never, ever going to play ball for your team again, and runs out of the dugout crying.
Frustrating, right? A kid directly disobeying what you said, and then lying about it. What a bad kid.
That makes it a little more complicated.
And what if the hurt Kid #1, with sunflower seeds in his mouth, was really angry about being made fun of and was trying his hardest to not respond…so instead of yelling back, he spit sunflower seeds. Not AT Kid #2, but *near* him—close enough to make the point, but not actually break the rule. He wasn't really lying. He never spit the seeds AT the guy. But the result was the same—he got in trouble anyway. AND he's being called a liar.
He may as well have let full vent to his anger. He may as well have just done all the things he was trying to control. Next time, he probably will. It's the same difference. He's the bad kid, the difficult one, the weird boy who is just…a problem.
A problem. Always a problem.
That problem is my son.
I love my little boy. I love his idiosyncrasies and his oddities and his passionate creativity. But I know he's weird. I know he annoys people. I know he can be difficult.
I know that there is simply not enough time to sit down and sort out a complicated scenario when there is a baseball game going on, and the adults have a hundred moving pieces to watch. I know that my son didn't really follow the rules—the spirit of the law and all that—and he just needed to stop and say "sorry, Coach" and not argue or yell or cry or any of the things. I know.
But I also know that there was a very upset boy in my arms, so confused about what he did wrong and why everyone is against him and why the other boy didn't get in trouble, too.
I know he's weird. Sometimes it seems like he doesn't get it. Sometimes it looks angry and defiant.
But here's the thing. He does see it. He gets it. And it breaks him. Every time.
I laugh at that. You are in the wrong family for normal, my boy. I'm almost four decades in and I haven't figured out how to be normal.
In those moments, I'm not his parent. I'm his compatriot in this journey of being weird in a world where following the correct social path is paramount. I get it. I remember the lonely nights crying myself to sleep because for the life of me I could not figure out what I was doing wrong, and why the other kids hated me so much.
The first time someone told me I should kill myself because the world would be better off, I was in 5th grade. That was also the year I was told that my mom didn't really love me—she just tolerated me because it was required. No one really wanted me; I would never have a boyfriend or get married because no one could love someone like me. They told me that everyone who said they liked me was faking it or doing it out of pity. I should just die, and no one would care.
This year, his grades fell from A's and B's to D's and F's. He was constantly in the office at school. Going to church became a nightmare—I couldn't leave a service without parents confronting me. He swore. He was mean to kids. He told long, elaborate stories that he insisted were true, and would argue with others when they called him out for lying. He said other inappropriate things.
But I also know that every day, he is prepared for someone to tease him. He is filled with anxiety. He knows adults label him as "difficult." He knows that the other kids loudly and openly complain when he is around. He knows they try to bait him on purpose. He knows that he brought some of it on himself by his behavior. But he doesn't know how to fix it.
So he goes out in the world already in fight or flight mode. He enters each social situation, knowing that he is the weird kid, ready to protect himself. And when the kids point out his weirdness, he is defensive. And that makes the other kids snippy and impatient, which makes him frustrated. Then one or two of the bullies push that frustrated kid just a little bit more, so he turns mean. Sometimes, he is mean to the littler ones, because they laughed too, and he couldn't get at the ones who had really hurt him. And the rest of the kids back away and stay away and their parents call and tell us to keep away.
This is how you turn a weird kid into a "bad kid." Piece by piece, day by day. Higher and higher the walls go on both sides.
As adults, we don't want this to happen. We tell our children to "be nice" and "be kind." Of course, we don't want our children to be hurt or hear mean words. And yes, my child was the one who hit or spit or swore. But rarely in our society do we work to address the root of why. We don't change the cycle. We remove the angry kid, but don't address the circumstances and the quiet isolation and the more "socially acceptable" bullying that contributed to bring him to that place.
And here's where it's led: we've been asked to not return to social groups. We left the public school. We've been told we are not welcome into church without tight supervision while we watch his bullies roam free. We've been told that we can't discuss these bullies because we are "here about your son's behavior." This feels more like prison than love.
I survived my childhood by retreating. I became a bookworm and isolated myself into a fortress of my own making. It was lonely. I fought it within my own soul. I still do.
My son is trying to survive by attacking. Others are isolating him and locking him away and he fights back. Bad attention is still attention. But he's just as anxious and lonely and bullied as I was. He just fights it louder and more outwardly than I ever did.
And here is what is true about our world: It's easy to overlook the quiet girl in the corner reading a book—to encourage your kids to befriend her. It's not so easy to overlook the loud hurt of a weird "bad" kid—you find yourself encouraging your kids to stay away.
I know. I've been that parent, too.
But let me tell you the things that you might not know.
You don't know how brave this boy is. You don't know how many times he has been told that other kids wished he would just die. You don't know all the fear that rages under the swagger. You don't know how he worries about how he will mess up.
You don't know how, all the times you called him a "girl" and told him to "cut your hair" (yes…you adults too), that you were attacking his brave and his good.
You don't know that has the biggest, softest heart. You don't know that he's been growing out his hair with a secret plan to donate it. Why would he tell the rest of you, when all you do is say how bad it looks, or tease him about it?
You don't know the deep trauma he carries with him every day. He has had to deal with things that could destroy an adult. He has professional help, and he works hard. Really hard. But the burden can be heavy some days.
You don't know the loss he has to process, and the demons he has to fight—demons that live in adults who were supposed to protect and care for him. Demons that rear their heads and slash swaths of pain across the hearts of those he cares about.
You don't know the way he loves anyway, because he knows—very personally—how sometimes pain comes out in the form of anger or spite. You don't know the grace he has for them. For your kids, too.
And you don't know the way he feels—daily—that he is failing us all.
I understand that feeling. Some days, I still worry that the people who love me are faking it. Some days, I still feel out of step with the rest of the world. Some days, I wonder if all my accomplishments are a result of pity. Some days, I think that I really did deserve all of the bad things that have happened to me—they called it back in 5th grade.
But I know those things aren't reality. I know that the whispers of old lies are no match for the light of truth. I know that the life I have created is beautiful. I know, too, that I am still weird, and awkward, and pointy in parts, and all hexagonal. I don't look like everyone else, and I don't act like everyone else, either. But now, that difference feels pretty good on me.
Perhaps those things that were so "wrong" with me all those years ago are my best qualities.
And perhaps that will be true for my son, too.
So maybe you could just love him where he is, and tell him how brilliant his weirdness is? Maybe instead of worrying so much about protecting other children FROM him, you could worry more about teaching the others to embrace him in all his pointy-ness? Maybe having a little more grace instead of restrictions, he would see that he doesn't need to perform for attention?
I know my kid is sometimes mean to yours and says bad things. But he's not doing it in a vacuum, and there's always more to the story than you think. Maybe we could take the time to listen to all of it.
I know you worry for your kids. I worry for mine, too. But maybe we could build a village instead of isolating walls. Maybe your kids are stronger than you think.
I know there aren't easy answers. But I know that love overcomes the deepest depths of darkness. Maybe you could join us as we figure it all out.
I know my kid is weird. But he's not the enemy. Maybe he's exactly what your world needed.
Thank you so much!! It is so encouraging to know that others hear and understand.
This is beautifully conceived and written. I too am the mom of a weird kid – and my weird kid comes from trauma too. She doesn't attack, she shuts down – but it's amazing what a little kindness and understanding does for her. Thank you for writing.
Wow! That's so interesting. My son is reading it right now!
Oh, V. Yes. A thousand times yes. This piece is beautiful, like you, like your son, like your family.
Thank you to your son for giving permission to write it and to you for finding time and courage to put it out there. Off to share.
Thank you, friend!! I read your linked blog post yesterday, and all my doubts about whether or not this needed to be out there disappeared. I'm so glad to have you in my circle!
My daughter is different however, she IS a "loud weird kid" who *desperately* wants friends. She often throws herself at other kids, even the ones who aren't nice to her, and all but begs them to be her friend. It breaks my heart to see her do it. I feel like it's a no win situation and there's nothing I can do to help her during this season. I do take her to therapy, and try to talk her through many of these situations myself. But she just can't or won't listen to reason and good counsel very well.
Thank you fortis lovely and thoughtful piece. I'm still stuck in the place where I think I should be able to make my kids' life perfect. It kills me to see them hurt. I pray that my kids find acceptance so that they can show the world how wonderful they are. Tonight I will add a prayer for all kids who are hurting.
I am: a writer, a teacher, a mother, a friend, and so many other wordless things. But I know I am not defined by any of these labels. My life is rather hexagonal, and this blog is about figuring out how exactly I fit into the round world.
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Washington, D.C. – U.S. Senators Marco Rubio (R-FL) and Bill Nelson (D-FL) urged Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross to replicate his successful engagement with Gulf of Mexico States to allow the red snapper fishery in the South Atlantic to open as soon as possible.
After the conclusion of a historically brief 2017 federal Gulf of Mexico red snapper season, we thank you for working with the five Gulf states to craft and implement a consensus plan to align state and federal red snapper management in the Gulf. This agreement yielded 39 additional days of recreational fishing in federal waters this year. We respectfully request that you build on this recent success by engaging with the South Atlantic Fishery Management Council's (SAFMC) member states to thoroughly analyze all available fisheries data, including state data, and ensure that anglers can once again enjoy red snapper fishing opportunities in the South Atlantic.
We cannot stress enough how important the red snapper fishery is to Florida's economy. While we appreciate SAFMC's recent efforts to potentially move towards allowing a limited harvest beginning in July 2018, the South Atlantic red snapper fishery will remain closed this year. This decision is disappointing for residents and small business owners from Jacksonville to Miami especially considering the enhanced opportunities being afforded to their peers along Florida's Gulf coast.
It is clear that excessively limiting recreational opportunities to fish for red snapper in federal waters—even as populations continue to rebound—threatens to further erode the public's trust in the federal institutions charged with science-based fisheries management decisions. In particular, there remains considerable questions regarding the data collection and analysis used by the National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS) to determine federal season lengths. Reducing the recreational quota buffer through the use of expanded data sources and improved data collection technology could greatly ease the tensions between the public and the state and federal institutions charged with maintaining sustainable harvest opportunities. We also believe that mid-year reviews to consider extensions of federal red snapper seasons by accurately accounting for the total allowable catch and the impact of severe weather during allowed fishing days could provide additional safe and responsible fishing opportunities. We encourage you to consult with South Atlantic and Gulf states to explore these ideas and determine where consensus can be reached.
While Congress, the Department of Commerce, the councils, and states work towards a long-term solution, we respectfully request that you consider all available metrics to ensure that Floridians and visitors are not being unfairly disadvantaged by unnecessarily limited fishing opportunities in both the Gulf of Mexico and the South Atlantic. From hotels, restaurants, bait and tackle shops, and other small businesses that rely on both commercial and recreational fishing activity, ensuring that fishery data accurately reflects the true nature of the red snapper population is essential for our coastal communities.
We thank you for your consideration of this request and look forward to further cooperation on these important issues.


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 Born and raised in Bulverde Texas, Zach's love of music theatre was sparked at age three while marching up and down the stairs imitating the Von Trapp family. Recognizing his natural gifts and life passion, his parents enrolled him in dance classes at age seven. Zach attended Earle Cobb Dance Studio through his senior year of high school under the direction of Dena Mabry. In fifth grade Dena cast him in his first musical at the North East School of Arts (NESA) as Junior Dolan in ON YOUR TOES. Later, Zach auditioned and was accepted into NESA as a double major in musical theater and dance.
After graduating from NESA, Zach attended Florida State University (FSU) majoring in Musical Theater. During the summers Zach performed in Theme Parks as well as regional summer theater. His sophomore year he interned with Maine State Music Theatre and had the opportunity to work with Michael Gorman and Donna Drake in A CHORUS LINE, Marc Robin in LEGALLY BLONDE, and Michael Lichtefeld and Charles Repole in 42ND STREET. After graduating from Florida State, Zach spent his summer dancing the original choreography of SPAMALOT at the Arrow Rock Lyceum Theatre under the direction of Billy Sprague Jr.
 In the fall of 2014, Zach moved to New York City. Within a few short months, Marc Robin cast Zach in the ensemble of WHITE CHRISTMAS understudying Bob Wallace at the Fulton Theatre. In the summer of 2015 he danced the season at Theatre by the Sea with the opportunity once again to work with Lichtefeld and Repole, as well as Billy Sprague Jr., and Kevin P. Hill. Zach sang in the quartet and played the role of Jamie in MY FAIR LADY, understudied Prince Eric in THE LITTLE MERMAID, and danced in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. He then worked at North Shore Music Theatre understudying Tony in BILLY ELLIOT under the direction of Adam Pelty.
Shortly after Zach performed in the world premiere of CHASING RAINBOWS: THE ROAD TO OZ at Flat Rock Playhouse set by Jeff Whiting. He then danced in THE WILL ROGERS FOLLIES at The Maltz Jupiter Theatre with the featured Indian Solo. The next spring he performed in his second world premiere of JOSEPHINE starring Deborah Cox at Asolo Repertory Theater. The production was directed and choreographed by Tony Nominee Joey McKneely. Later that summer Zach made is west coast debut at Sacramento Music Circus dancing in NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT and CABARET.
In 2017 he had the opportunity to workshop AUSTEN'S PRIDE produced by the 5th Avenue Theatre company in NYC. Zach then returned to North Shore Music Theater that fall to perform in EVITA choreographed by Nick Kenkel, and reprise the 2015 production of YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN set by Kevin P. Hill. In May of 2018 Zach made is national tour debut in the North American company of ALADDIN in till Covid ended the run six weeks early in Austin, TX (March 2020). After the lock down Zach was a part of the first and only production to be approved by Actors Equity Association. GODSPELL at Berkshire Theatre Group. The show ran the final months of summer to rave reviews. With strict safety guidelines the entire company remained healthy throughout the entire run, and proved just how important the arts can be to give Americans a glimmer of hope. Scroll back to NEWS to learn more!
Currently, Zach is back in New York City! He made his Broadway Debut in ALADDIN in September 2021. Until the next theatrical opportunity he is happily teaching group fitness at Equinox! Look for him on the app, and get ready to gear up out of the saddle!


By now it has become obvious that raw bench strength is not as important as the lockout and upper end strength in the world of Powerlifting/Bench Only. In this article we will take a look at how to develop both upper end and lockout strength in the bench press.
First let???s take a look at Upper end strength. This is the area where your shirt begins to stop supporting the weight and you are preparing to lock the weight out. Usually this is past the transition (Also refer to older articles for explanation of transition on www.metalmilitia.net) when the help of the shirt lets go. This can be 1 or 2 inches at the top or 4 to 6, depending on the lifter and his/her setup and technique, shoulder-blade retraction, and so forth. I have gone into setup and tech in earlier articles that can be found on www.metalmilitia.net. I will certainly go into them more in future articles. In this article I will discuss how to train the upper end of the bench press for competition bench pressing in a bench shirt.
Let???s start with the warm-up. Most lifters just throw on some plates and pump out half reps until they start getting to the more challenging sets. Many times I have seen lifters not lockout warm-ups and these lifters always have trouble with upper end strength. But they can never figure out why. If you want to get strong at the top you need to use every rep of every set to practice holding weight and locking out. When the weight is handed off to the lifter, the lifter should hold the weight fully locked out and motionless for 2-4 seconds. Holding weight locked out for slightly extended periods of time during training sessions, will greatly improve stability, holding strength and control. Just incorporating this into your training can cause dramatic increases in your ability to place the bar in the proper groove with a bench shirt on.
I have also seen many lifters throw the bar back into the rack unable to control it, at the completion of a lift. These lifters almost always blow the weight right of their chest, making it look easy, but then are unable to hold the weight locked out or motionless. This is often overlooked by lifters during their training, but can be easily cured. By holding every rep of every set locked out and motionless for extended periods during training.
Now let's look at a few exercises to develop upper end strength. I will start with boards: 5 and 6 boards. When first starting with boards, take the weight out and hold for a few seconds. Bring the bar low toward your stomach, elbows in. Let the weight sink and sit in to the board while you relax your arms and shoulders. Push up into the board with your stomach, not letting the weight flatten you out. Then throw the bar back to the starting position and hold for 2-4 seconds on every rep, and repeat. 6 and 5 boards are used on upper end day, for most. The 4 boards are getting into mid strength and we are not going to discuss that in this article.
Rack work should be limited to 2 to 4 inches max depending on your body, arm length etc. A good way to figure out if you are doing around the right height is to use your shirted bench as a guide. If you are doing lockouts with a lot more weight than you can do in a bench shirt, then chances are you are not at the right level. Assuming you are even slightly experienced in shirted lifting. I often here people say I am locking out 700+ but can't hit 500 in a shirt. Right away I know they are not doing them at the right height. You should be locking out somewhere in the neighborhood of your shirt bench. When you get real good you should be at about 50lbs over your shirt best, give or take a few lbs.
Now let's talk about the execution of the lockout. Arms should be sticking straight out to the sides, elbows NOT tucked in and the bar should be at upper chest shoulder level. Upper back should be slightly relaxed and the arch should be about 50% of your best shirted arch position. When pushing against the bar, don't try to jerk the bar off the pins explosively. Gradually build power until the bar breaks free from the pins. Continue building power to the lock-out and extend arms fully. Once the arms are extended fully, we do what is called an exaggerated extension. This is where the bar is pushed beyond your comfortable lock-out, where most lifters would normally stop. You try to hyper extend your elbow. This position is held for 3-5 seconds on every rep. We then release the bar, with no negative resistance. In other words, we kind of let the bar drop. Rack lock-outs are only a positive movement. There is no negative (movement).
Note: It is very important to hold weight in the starting position and the lock-out position, for extended periods of time (approx. 3-5 seconds), of every rep of every set.
I guarantee doing this workout for only a few weeks, you will see drastic changes in your shirted bench press and the ability to control heavy weight.
More in-depth information on Metal Militia training can be found at www.metalmilitia.net. Most of the exercises are hard to convey into words, without seeing it done yourself. I recommend checking out some of the videos found on www.metalmilitia.net. In closing, I would like to thank Wesley Kampen of Monster Muscle for inspiring me to write this article. If anyone would like to contact me please feel free to e mail me at Metalmilitiabench@yahoo.