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OUR ECUMENICAL PATRIARCH
GENERAL SYNOD
Don't Personalize Rejection (Hebrews 11:34 NIV)
by Sean Alexander | Jun 23, 2019 | Hebrews
Scripture: "Whose weakness was turned to strength." (Hebrews 11:34 NIV)
1-2 The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
Reflection: (Hebrews 11:1)
Do you remember how you felt when you were very young and your birthday approached?
You were excited and anxious. You knew you would certainly receive gifts and other special treats. But some things would be a surprise.
Birthdays combine assurance and anticipation, and so does faith!
Faith is the confidence based on past experience that God's new and fresh surprises will surely be ourse.
The beginning point of faith is believing in God's character: He is who He says.
The end point is believing in God's promised: He will do what He says.
When we believe that God will fulfill His promises even though we don't see those promises materializing yet, we demonstrate true faith (See John 20:24-31).
3 By faith, we see the world called into existence by God's word, what we see created by what we don't see.
God called the universe into existence out of nothing, He declared that it was to be, and it was.
Our faith is in the God who created the entire universe by His Word. God's Word has awesome power.
When He speaks do you listen and respond?
How can you better prepare yourself to respond to God's Word?
4 By an act of faith, Abel brought a better sacrifice to God than Cain. It was what he believed, not what he brought, that made the difference. That's what God noticed and approved as righteous. After all these centuries, that belief continues to catch our notice.
Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve's first two sons. Abel offered a sacrifice that pleased God, while Cain's sacrifice was unacceptable.
Abel's sacrifice (an animal substitute) was more acceptable to God, both because it was a blood sacrifice and, most important, because of Abel's attitude when he offered it.
5-6 By an act of faith, Enoch skipped death completely. "They looked all over and couldn't find him because God had taken him." We know on the basis of reliable testimony that before he was taken "he pleased God." It's impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.
Believing that God exists is only the beginning; even the demons believe that much (James 2:19-20).
God will not settle for mere acknowledgment of His existence. He wants your faith that leads to a personal dynamic relationship with Him.
But does faith make sense, really?
Do you believe because faith makes sense, or because faith doesn't need to make sense?
Some Christians think people cannot understand God and should not try. Others believe that nothing true is irrational, including true faith.
The truth is, God gave us minds that should be developed and used. To ignore intellectual growth is to live a stunted and naive life.
God wants our trust and faith, even while we ponder and wonder about so many matters mysterious to us.
Even so, we do not believe in a void nor leap into the dark.
Faith is reasonable, though reason alone cannot explain the whole of it.
So use your mind to think things through. But, leave room for the unexplainable works of God.
Sometimes we wonder about the fate of those who haven't heard of Christ and have not even had a Bible to read.
God assures us that all who honestly seeks Him – who act in faith on the knowledge of God that they do possess – will be rewarded.
When you tell others the Good News, encourage them to be honest and diligent in their search for truth.
Those who hear the Good News are responsible for what they have heard (See 2 Corinthians 6:1-2).
7 By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn't see, and acted on what he was told. The result? His family was saved. His act of faith drew a sharp line between the evil of the unbelieving world and the rightness of the believing world. As a result, Noah became intimate with God.
Noah experienced rejection because he was different from his neighbors.
God commanded him to build a huge boat in the middle of dry land, and although God's command seemed foolish, Noah obeyed.
Noah's obedience made him appear strange to his neighbors, just as the new beliefs of Jewish Christians undoubtedly made them stand out.
As you obey God, don't be surprised if others regard you as "different". Your obedience makes their disobedience stand out.
Remember, if God asks you to do something, He will give you the necessary strength to carry out that task.
8-10 By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going. By an act of faith he lived in the country promised him, lived as a stranger camping in tents. Isaac and Jacob did the same, living under the same promise. Abraham did it by keeping his eye on an unseen city with real, eternal foundations—the City designed and built by God.
Reflection: (Hebrews 11:8-10)
Abraham's life was filled with faith.
At God's command, he left home and went to another land – obeying without question (Genesis 12:1). He believed the covenant that God made with him (Genesis 12:2-3; 13:14-16; 15:1-6).
In obedience to God, Abraham was even willing to sacrifice his son Isaac (Genesis 22:1-19).
Do not be surprised if God asks you to give up secure, familiar surroundings in order to carry out His will.
11-12 By faith, barren Sarah was able to become pregnant, old woman as she was at the time, because she believed the One who made a promise would do what he said. That's how it happened that from one man's dead and shriveled loins there are now people numbering into the millions.
Reflection: (Hebrews 11:11-12)
Sarah was Abraham's wife.
They were unable to have children through many years of their marriage.
God promised Abraham a son, but Sarah doubted that she could become pregnant in her old age. At first she laughed, but afterward, she believed (Genesis 18).
13-16 Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that—heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them.
Reflection: (Hebrews 11:13)
That we are "foreigners and nomads" on earth may be an awareness forced on us by circumstances. It may come late in life or as the result of difficult times.
But the world is not our home. We cannot live here forever (See also 1 Peter 1:1).
It is best for us not to be so attached to this world's desires or possessions that we can't move out at God's command.
These people of faith died without receiving all that God had promised, but they never lost their vision of heaven ("a better place, a heavenly homeland").
Many Christians become frustrated and defeated because their needs, wants, expectations, and demands are not immediately met when they accept Christ as Savior.
They become impatient and want to quit.
Are you discouraged because the achievement of your goal seems far away?
Take courage from these heroes of faith, who lived and died without seeing the fruit of their faith on earth and yet continued to believe (see Hebrews 11:36-39).
17-19 By faith, Abraham, at the time of testing, offered Isaac back to God. Acting in faith, he was as ready to return the promised son, his only son, as he had been to receive him—and this after he had already been told, "Your descendants shall come from Isaac." Abraham figured that if God wanted to, he could raise the dead. In a sense, that's what happened when he received Isaac back, alive from off the altar.
Abraham was willing to give up his son when God commanded him to do so (Genesis 22:1-19).
God did not let Abraham take Isaac's life because God had given the command in order to test Abraham's faith.
Instead of taking Abraham's son, God gave Abraham a whole nation of descendants through Isaac.
If you are afraid to trust God with the possession, dream, or person you treasure most, pay attention to Abraham's example.
Because Abraham was willing to give up everything for God, he received back more than he could have imagined.
What we receive is not always immediate or in the form of material possessions.
Material things should be among the least satisfying of rewards. Our best and greatest awards await us in eternity.
20 By an act of faith, Isaac reached into the future as he blessed Jacob and Esau.
Isaac was the son who had been promised to Abraham and Sarah in their old age. It was through Isaac that God fulfilled His promise to eventually give Abraham countless descendants.
Isaac had twin sons, Jacob and Esau. God chose the younger son, Jacob, through whom to continue the fulfillment of His promise to Abraham.
21 By an act of faith, Jacob on his deathbed blessed each of Joseph's sons in turn, blessing them with God's blessing, not his own—as he bowed worshipfully upon his staff.
Jacob was Isaac's son and Abraham's grandson.
Jacob's sons became the fathers of Israel's 12 tribes.
Even when Jacob (also called "Israel") was dying in a strange land, he believe the promise that Abraham's descendants would be like the sand on the seashore and that Israel would become a great nation (Genesis 48:1-22).
True faith helps us see beyond the grave.
22 By an act of faith, Joseph, while dying, prophesied the exodus of Israel, and made arrangements for his own burial.
Joseph, on of Jacob's sons, was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers (Genesis 37).
Then Joseph was sold again, this time to an official of the Pharaoh of Egypt. But eventually, because of Joseph's faithfulness to God, he was given a top-ranking position in Egypt.
Although Joseph could have used that position to build a personal empire, he remembered God's promise to Abraham.
After he had been reconciled to his brothers, Joseph brought his family to be near him and requested that his bones be taken to the Promised Land when the Jews eventually left Egypt (Genesis 50:24-25).
Faith means trusting in God and doing what He wants, regardless of the circumstances or consequences.
23 By an act of faith, Moses' parents hid him away for three months after his birth. They saw the child's beauty, and they braved the king's decree.
Moses' parents trusted God to protect their son's life.
They were not merely proud parents; they were believers who had faith that God would care for him.
As a parent, have you trusted God enough to take care of your children?
God has a plan for every person, and your important task is to pray for your children and prepare them to do the work God has planned for them to do.
Faith allows us to entrust even our children to God.
24-28 By faith, Moses, when grown, refused the privileges of the Egyptian royal house. He chose a hard life with God's people rather than an opportunistic soft life of sin with the oppressors. He valued suffering in the Messiah's camp far greater than Egyptian wealth because he was looking ahead, anticipating the payoff. By an act of faith, he turned his heel on Egypt, indifferent to the king's blind rage. He had his eye on the One no eye can see, and kept right on going. By an act of faith, he kept the Passover Feast and sprinkled Passover blood on each house so that the destroyer of the firstborn wouldn't touch them.
Moses became one of Israel's greatest leaders, a prophet, and a lawgiver.
But when he was born, his people were slaves in Egypt, and the Egyptian officials had ordered that all Hebrew baby boys be killed.
Moses was spared, and Pharaoh's daughter raised Moses in Pharaoh's own household (Exodus 1-2).
IT took faith for Moses to give up his place in the palace, but he could to it because he saw the fleeting nature of great wealth and prestige.
It is easy to be deceived by the temporary benefits of wealth, popularity, status, and achievement, and to be blind to the long-range benefits of God's Kingdom.
Faith helps us look beyond the world's value system to see the eternal values of God's Kingdom.
True wealth is eternal.
Consider the most powerful or well-known people in our world – how many got where they are by being humble, self-effacing, and gentle? Not many!
But in the life to come, the last will be first – if they got in last place by choosing to follow Jesus.
Hebrews has a critical message for earth-loving Christians. Don't forfeit eternal rewards for temporary benefits.
Like Moses, be willing to make sacrifices now for greater rewards later.
29 By an act of faith, Israel walked through the Red Sea on dry ground. The Egyptians tried it and drowned.
30 By faith, the Israelites marched around the walls of Jericho for seven days, and the walls fell flat.
31 By an act of faith, Rahab, the Jericho harlot, welcomed the spies and escaped the destruction that came on those who refused to trust God.
When Joshua planned the conquest of Jericho, he sent spies to investigate the fortifications of the city. The spies met Rahab, who had two strikes against her – she was a Gentile and a prostitute.
But, she showed that she had faith in God by welcoming the spies and by trusting God to spare her and her family when the city was destroyed.
Faith helps us turn around and do what is right regardless of our past or the disapproval of others.
32-38 I could go on and on, but I've run out of time. There are so many more—Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, the prophets. . . . Through acts of faith, they toppled kingdoms, made justice work, took the promises for themselves. They were protected from lions, fires, and sword thrusts, turned disadvantage to advantage, won battles, routed alien armies. Women received their loved ones back from the dead. There were those who, under torture, refused to give in and go free, preferring something better: resurrection. Others braved abuse and whips, and, yes, chains and dungeons. We have stories of those who were stoned, sawed in two, murdered in cold blood; stories of vagrants wandering the earth in animal skins, homeless, friendless, powerless—the world didn't deserve them!—making their way as best they could on the cruel edges of the world.
The Old Testament records the lives of the various people who experienced these great victories.
Joshua and Deborah overthrew kingdoms (The book of Joshua; Judges 4-5).
Nehemiah ruled with justice (the book of Nehemiah).
Daniel was saved from the mouths of Lions (Daniel 6).
Shadrach, Mesghach, and Abendego were kept from harm in the flames of a blazing furnace (Daniel 3).
Elijah escaped the swords of evil Queen Jezebel's henchmen <="" i="">.
Hezekiah regained strength after sickness (2 Kings 20).
Gideon was strong in battle (Judges 7).
A widow's son was brought back to life by the prophet Elisha (2 Kings 4-8-37).
We too, can experience victory through faith in Christ. Our victories over oppressors may be like those of the Old Testament saints, but more likely, our victories will be directly related to the role God wants us to play.
Even though our body deteriorates and dies, we will live forever because of Christ.
In the promised resurrection, even death will be defeated, and Christ's victory will be made complete.
These verses summarize the lives of other great men and women of faith.
Some experienced victories, even over the threat of death. But, others were severely mistreated, tortured, and even killed.
Having a steadfast faith in God does not guarantee a happy, carefree life. On the contrary, our faith almost guarantees us some form of abuse from the world.
While we are on earth, we may never see the purpose of our suffering. But, we know that God will keep His promises to us.
Do you truly believe that God will keep his promises to you?
Many think that pain is the exception in the Christian life.
When suffering occurs, they say, "Why me?" They feel as though God deserted them, or perhaps they accuse him of not being as dependable as they thought.
In reality, we live in an evil world filled with suffering, even for believers. But God is still in control.
He allows some Christians to become martyrs for the faith, and he allows others to survive persecution.
Rather than asking, "Why me?" it is much more helpful to ask, "Why not me?"
Our faith and the values of this world are on a collision course. If we expect pain and suffering to come, we will not be shocked when they hit. But, we can take comfort in knowing that Jesus also suffered. He understands our fears, our weaknesses, and our disappointments (see Hebrews 2:16-18; 4:14-16).
He promised never to leave us (Matthew 28:18-20), and He intercedes on our behalf (Hebrews 7:24-25).
In times of pain, persecution, or suffering, we should trust confidently in Christ.
39-40 Not one of these people, even though their lives of faith were exemplary, got their hands on what was promised. God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours.
Hebrews 11 has been called faith's hall of fame. No doubt the author surprised his readers by this conclusion: This mighty Jewish heroes did not receive all that God had promised because they died before God came.
In God's plan, they and the Christian believers (who were also enduring much testing) would be rewarded together.
Once again, Hebrews shows that Christianity offers a better way than non-belief ever could.
There is a solidarity among believers (see Hebrews 12:23).
Old and New Testament believers will be glorified together. Not only are we one in the body of Christ with all those now alive, but we are also one with all those who have ever lived.
It takes all of us to be perfect in Him.
It's Time to Pray – Part 1 – Psalm 51:1-17
The Blessed Hope (Titus 2:13 NKJV)
You Must Know Your Season (Ecclesiastes 3:1-15)
You Will Get Through It
What to Expect on Life's Journey (2) (2 Timothy 4:7 NKJV)
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into three divinities the awful and divine Unity, nor diminish the dignity and transcendant majesty of our Lord by the name of creature, but we must believe in God the Father Almighty, and in Christ Jesus His Son, and in the Holy Spirit; and believe that the Word is united with the God of the universe. For He says, I and the Father are One; and, I am in the Father, and the Father in Me. For thus the Divine Trinity and the holy preaching of the monarchia will be preservedo."
This doctrine of the coinherence, as protecting the Unity without intrenching on the perfections of the Son and Spirit, may even be called the characteristic of Catholic Trinitarianism as opposed to all counterfeits, whether philosophical, Arian, or Oriental. One PostNicene statement of it shall be added. "If any one truly receive the Son, says Basil," he will find that He brings with Him on one hand His Father, on the other the Holy Spirit. For neither can He from the Father be severed, who is of and ever in the Father; nor again from His own Spirit disunited, who in It operates all things. . . For we must not conceive separation or division in any way; as if either the Son could be supposed without the Father, or the Spirit disunited from the Son. But there is discovered between them some ineffable and incomprehensible, both communion and distinction?."
9 Shortly before he had used the following still stronger expressions : ηνώσθαι γάρ ανάγκη τω Θεώ των όλων τον θείον Λόγον εμφιλοχωρείν δε TQ Dem kal èvdlaltgola dei TO "Aglov Ilveùua. The Ante-Nicene African school is as express as the Roman. Tertullian says, "Connexus Patris in Filio, et Filii in Paracleto, tres efficit cohærentes, qui tres unum sint, non unus." Bull, Defens. ii. 6, § 4; 12, § 1. 11; iv. 4, 12, § 1. 11; iv. 4, § 10. 1 Petav. iv. 16, § 9. The Semi-Arian creed, called Macrostichos,
Secondly, as the "in God" led the Fathers to the doctrine of the coinherence, so did the "of God" lead them to the doctrine of the monarchia"; still, with the one object of guarding against any resemblance to Polytheism in their creed. Even the heathen had shown a disposition, designedly or from a spontaneous feeling, to trace all their deities up to one Principle or arche; as is evident by their Theogonies'. Much more did it become that true religion, which prominently put forth the Unity of God, jealously to guard its language, lest it should seem to admit the existence of a variety of original Principles. It is said to have been the doctrine of the Marcionists and Manichees, that there were three unconnected independent Beings in the Divine Nature. Scripture and the Church avoid the appearance of tritheism, by tracing back, (if we may so say,) the infinite perfections of the Son and Spirit to Him whose Son and Spirit They are. They are, so to express it, but the new manifestation and repetition of the Father; there being no room for numeration or comparison between Them, nor any resting-place for the contemplating mind, till They are referred to Him in whom They centre. On the other hand, in naming the Father, we imply the Son and Spirit, whether They be named or not*. Without this key, the language of Scripture is perplexed in the extreme. Hence it is, that the Father is called " the only God," at a time when our Lord's name is also mentioned, John xvii. 3, 1 Tim. i. 16, 17, as if the Son was but the reiteration of His Person, who is the Self-Existent, and therefore not to be contrasted with Him in the way of number. The Creed, called the Apostles', follows this mode of stating the doctrine; the title of God standing in the opening against the Father's name, while the Son and Spirit are introduced as distinct forms or modes, (so to say,) of and in the One Eternal Being. The Nicene Creed, commonly so called, directed as it is against the impugners both of the Son's and of the Spirit's divinity, nevertheless observes the same rule even in a stricter form, beginning with a confession of the " One God." Whether or not this mode of speaking was designed in Scripture to guard the doctrine of the Unity from all verbal infringement (and there seems evidence that it was so, as in 1 Cor. viii. 5, 6,) it certainly was used for this purpose in the primitive Church. Thus Tertullian says, that it is a mistake " to suppose that the number and arrangement of the Trinity is a division of its Unity; inasmuch as the Unity drawing out the Trinity from itself, is not destroyed by it, but is subserved." Novatian, in like manner, says, "God originating from God, so as to be the Second Person, yet not interfering with the Father's right to be called the one God. For, had He not a birth, then indeed when compared with Him who had no birth, He would seem, from the appearance of equality in both, to make two who were without birth", and therefore two Gods."
drawn up at Antioch A.D. 345, which is in parts unexceptionable in point of orthodoxy, contains the following striking exposition of the Catholic notion of the coinherence. " Though we affirm the Son to have a distinct existence and life as the Father has, yet we do not therefore separate Him from the Father, inventing place and distance between Their union after a corporeal manner. For we believe that they are united without medium or interval, and are inseparable." And then follow words to which our language is unequal : ólov mèo Toll Matpos ¿veo TEPPIO MÉvov τον Υιόν όλον δε του Υιού εξηρτημένου και προσπεφυκότος τω Πατρί, kal móvou Tois tarpoons KÓXTOLS åvanavouévov Oinvers. Bull, Defens. iv. 4, § 9.
? [Vid. Athan. Tr. p. 45, c., p. 513, e.] 3 Cudw. Intell. Syst. 4, § 13.
4 Athan. ad Serap. i. 14.
5 Let 1 John v. 20 be taken as an example; or again, 1 Cor. xii. 4-6. John xiv. 16—18; xvi. 7-15. . ..
Accordingly it is impossible to worship One of the Divine Persons, without worshipping the Others also. In praying to the Father, we only arrive at His mysterious presence through His Son and Spirit; and in praying to the Son and Spirit, we are necessarily carried on beyond them to the source of Godhead from which They are derived. We see this in the very form of many of the received addresses to the Blessed Trinity; in which, without intended reference to the mediatorial scheme, the Son and Spirit seem, even in the view of the Divine Unity, to take a place in our thoughts between the Father and His creatures ; as in the ordinary doxologies "to the Father through the Son and by the Spirit," or "to the Father and Son in the unity of the Holy Ghost."
6 Again he says, that " the Trinity descending from the Father by closely knit and connected steps, both is consistent with the monarchia (Unity), and protects the economia (revealed dispensation)."
7 [Or unoriginate; viz. on årévuntos and óvapxos, in the next Section.]
8 Petav. Præf. 5, § 1. ii.; $ 8. Dionysius of Alexandria implies the same doctrine, when he declares; "We extend the indivisible Unity into the Trinity, and again we concentrate the indestructible Trinity into the Unity." And Hilary, to take a Post-Nicene authority, "We do not detract from the Father, His being the one God, when we say also that the Son is God. For He is God from God, one from one; therefore one God, because God is from Himself. On the other hand, the Son is not on that account the less God, because the Father is the one God. For the only-begotten Son of God is not without birth, so as to detract from the Father His being the one God, nor is He other than God, but because He is born of God." De Trin. i. Vide also Athan. de Sent. Dionys. 17. Bull, Defens. iv. 4, $ 7.
This gives us an insight into the force of expressions, common with the primitive Fathers, but bearing, in the eyes of inconsiderate observers, a refined and curious character. They call the Son, "God of God, Light of Light," &c., much more frequently than simply God, in order to anticipate in the very form of words, the charge or the risk of ditheism. Hence, also, the illustrations of the sun and his rays, &c., were in such repute; viz. as containing, not only a description, but also a defence of the Catholic doctrine. Thus Hippolytus says, "When I say that the Son is distinct from the Father, I do not speak of two Gods; but, as it were, light of light, and the stream from the fountain, and a ray from the sun'." It was the same reason which led the Fathers to insist upon the doctrine of the divine generation.
9 Bull, Defens. iv. 4, $ 5.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Thomson, Malcolm. "Otto Julius Klotz". The Canadian Encyclopedia, 16 December 2013, Historica Canada. www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/otto-julius-klotz. Accessed 19 January 2022.
Thomson, M. (2013). Otto Julius Klotz. In The Canadian Encyclopedia. Retrieved from https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/otto-julius-klotz
Thomson, Malcolm. "Otto Julius Klotz." The Canadian Encyclopedia. Historica Canada. Article published May 26, 2008; Last Edited December 16, 2013.
The Canadian Encyclopedia, s.v. "Otto Julius Klotz," by Malcolm Thomson, Accessed January 19, 2022, https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/otto-julius-klotz
Otto Julius Klotz
Article by Malcolm Thomson
Otto Julius Klotz, astronomer (b at Preston, Canada W 31 Mar 1852; d at Ottawa 28 Dec 1923). With W.F. KING and E.G. DEVILLE, Klotz was responsible for the formation of the astronomical branch of the Department of the Interior, and for the building of the Cliff Street Observatory in 1890.
Otto Julius Klotz, astronomer (b at Preston, Canada W 31 Mar 1852; d at Ottawa 28 Dec 1923). With W.F. KING and E.G. DEVILLE, Klotz was responsible for the formation of the astronomical branch of the Department of the Interior, and for the building of the Cliff Street Observatory in 1890. With King he planned the Dominion Observatory and succeeded him as director in 1917 after the post had been vacant for 18 months. As an astronomer he established positions along the Canadian Pacific Railway right-of-way through BC in 1885, participated on the team that determined the longitude of Montréal west of Greenwich, and in 1903-04 extended the longitude from Vancouver across the Pacific along the new cable route, closing the link previously established from England eastward to Australia.
Carlyle Smith Beals
Alice Vibert Douglas
Arthur Edwin Covington


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El Abierto de Italia 1983 fue la edición del 1983 del torneo de tenis Masters de Roma. El torneo masculino fue un evento del circuito ATP 1983 y se celebró desde el 16 de mayo hasta el 22 de mayo.  El torneo femenino fue un evento del circuito WTA 1983 y se celebró desde el 2 de mayo hasta el 8 de mayo.

Campeones

Individuales Masculino

 Jimmy Arias vence a  José Higueras, 6–2, 6–7, 6–1, 6–4

Individuales Femenino

 Andrea Temesvári vence a  Bonnie Gadusek, 6–1, 6–0

Dobles Masculino

 Francisco González /  Víctor Pecci vencen a  Jan Gunnarsson /  Mike Leach, 6–2, 6–7, 6–4

Dobles Femenino

 Virginia Ruzici /  Virginia Wade vencen a  Ivanna Madruga-Osses /  Catherine Tanvier, 6–3, 2–6, 6–1

Referencias

Cuadro principal masculino

Enlaces externos
Official website

Masters de Roma 1983

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Navigating the Food Buying Guide (FBG) Calculator! Team Nutrition is excited to demonstrate and provide in-depth practice for using the FBG Calculator, which is a new feature included with the Food Buying Guide for Child Nutrition Programs Interactive Web-Based Tool. The FBG Calculator is designed to create a shopping list to assist Child Nutrition program operators when ordering food for their programs. Participants will also get to experience the newly released FBG Calculator on the Mobile App. Program operators will be able to create and use their shopping list on-the-go.


Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel said on Tuesday that the party would do a "deep data dive" into GOP losses in the House during this year's midterm elections.
Speaking during POLITICO's Women Rule Summit, McDaniel said the party needs to look into why many white suburban woman voters — a traditionally solidly Republican base — switched to Democratic candidates during the midterms.
McDaniel didn't specify a timeline for the party soul-searching effort or if the results would be made public. But she did say the results would be shared with GOP leaders and candidates to consolidate the party's resources.
Still, McDaniel pointed out that Republicans did not suffer a total loss this year. The party gained two seats in the Senate, in stark contrast to the average of losing four seats during the first midterms for a sitting president's party. McDaniel also said the party has maintained its popularity among rural women voters, whose voices McDaniel said are often overlooked.
McDaniel also talked about the need to recruit more female candidates in the GOP, touching on the challenges of fundraising as a woman.
Describing her own experience leading up to serving as the second female chair in the history of the Republican National Committee, McDaniel said she often felt excluded from discussions with donors because of her gender. She said when she was chair of the Michigan GOP, she was called a kindergartner and laughed out of talks with potential donors. But "you don't give up and I got money from that person," she said.
McDaniel said men often only need to feel 60 percent qualified to feel comfortable running for office, where as women often have to feel 100 percent — creating an additional hurdle for the party in convincing women to run.
McDaniel herself felt similar hesitancy when tapped by Reince Priebus to run for party chairwoman, but still, she ran and became one of the most successful fundraisers in the party's history.


Following the demolition of a former concrete product works, hydrocarbon contamination was indentified under the footprint of the buildings. The site is to be redeveloped with a residential development with private gardens. VertaseFLI was contracted by Harrow Estates at short notice to undertake removal of the contaminated hotspots.
VertaseFLI undertook remedial works comprising of the delineation, excavation stockpiling and validation testing of three hydrocarbon hotspots, one poly-aromatic hydrocarbon hotspot and an ash hotspot containing elevated metals.
VertaseFLI undertook delineation of the hotspots in conjunction with the supervising consultant to ensure the minimum amount contaminated soils were sent for offsite treatment. The hydrocarbon contamination was identified within the level of the groundwater table. The clean overburden was removed for reuse and an onsite water treatment system used to control the groundwater level and provide onsite dust suppression. The resulting excavation was backfilled with engineered fill.
For the delineation of the ash hotspot, a handheld X-Ray Fluorescence (XRF) scanner was used to provide immediate onsite results and ensured that the excavation could be undertaken swiftly and minimised the amount of material excavated.
Approximately 9,300 tonnes of contaminated soils were sent to a treatment facility to avoid unnecessary land filling of soils.


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My Joke Site
Joke Archive
LAST NIGHT'S LOVEMAKING
For Married men "Do not try this at home"
Difficult when Drunk
Diary Entry - The difference between Men and Women...
Blame The Dog... again
The Ultimate Fart Soundboard
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
Controlled Love
World Submarine Racing Championship
"Jozin z bazin" - Czech song popular in Poland
Two cattle drovers
I love Microsoft
The Monkey Mime
Bush plans WWIII
Measuring Monkey
Our Computers Are Down
Woman Goes Back to Work After Many Years
1943 Guide to Hiring Women
Why did the ...?
20 Puns
I had some words with my wife
Lips That Touch Liquor Shall Not Touch Ours
Make a woman happy. Make a man happy.
Santa gets a flat
He finally did it!
ATM Bomb Bandits blow up their getaway car
Women are so much better at financial planning tha...
Gratuitous George Bush joke
Dictionary for women's personal ads
Because I'm a man
JAPANESE BANKING CRISIS
A Good Choice
Hospital Regulations
Test Your Eyes
Germaine Greer on Michelle Obama's Dress
Mafia Lawyer
Bullshit and Brilliance
How to Shower: Women vs. Men - The movie
It pays to check
Managing Women After Retirement
Shower Protocol
Welsh Comedian Arrives in Australia With Luggage P...
Rhod Gilbert at the Comedy Store - Part 3
What I Want in a Man
The Wheels of Life
Aging #3
Three men are discussing their previous night's lovemaking.
The Italian says, "My wife, I rubbed her all over with fine olive oil, then we make wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes."
The Frenchman says, "I smooth sweet butter on my wife's body, then we made passionate love. She screamed for 20 minutes."
The Jewish man says, "I covered my wife's body with schmaltz [chicken fat]. We made love and she screamed for six hours."
The others say, "SIX HOURS? How did you make her scream for six hours?"
He shrugs. "I wiped my hands on the drapes."
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A wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband.
'Buy me a surprise for my birthday!' she said. 'Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in under 4 seconds!,....and I would prefer a blue one!'
Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.
And finally she got the beautiful present her husband had thoughtfully chosen for her....
... Apparently he's dead now ...but he died a
legend!!!......
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
Anti-constitutionality
Trans substantiate
No thanks, I'm married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
I'm not interested in fighting you.
Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination.I'd hate to look like a fool!
Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
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Keeps you busy...
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Diary Entry - The difference between Men and Women
WOMAN'S DIARY: 25th Oct 2008 Saturday
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.
I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying,
I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in,
He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply,
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.
I cried myself to sleep - I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's found someone else.
MAN'S DIARY: Saturday 25 Oct
Australia lost the cricket.
Got a root though.
Search for "The difference between Men and Women" Jokes
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure.
Luckily, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells,
"Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
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Great for 8 year olds... and others
Wait for it to download. It can be slow the first time.
Wave at him.
Definition of agony
A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children's playground!
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After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.
He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice,
"Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?"
"I found the remote," he mumbled.
Bronze Medal Final
Gold Medal Final
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Watch out for the dude who jumps up and sings during the chorus and then rests during the verses.
Two cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.
One asked, "What are you up to, Mate?"
Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."
"Oh yeah ... and what route are you takin'?"
"Ah, prob'ly the Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought."
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One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires.
He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zoo-keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction.
Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.
The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!" but the lion is quick and pounces.
The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
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President George W. and Colin Powell are drinking in a pub close Old Town Square in Prague.
A guy walks in and asks the bartender,"Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow,this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III," and the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 40 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big breasts."
A little perplexed the guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big breasts? Why kill a blonde with big breasts?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass?! I told you no one would worry about the 40 million Iraqis.
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
Six Chix
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Blonde Goes Back to Work After Many Years
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George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
Obviously, he goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
'I'm not sure what to do,' says the devil.
'You're on my list but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here I'm going to have to let someone else go. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves.'
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
'No!' George said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long.'
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.
'No!' I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,' commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, 'Yeah, I can handle this.'
The devil smiled and said: 'Ok, Monica, you're free to go!'
The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II.
Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees
There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from western properties:
1. If you can get them, pick young married women. They have these advantages, according to the reports of western companies: they usually have more of a sense of responsibility than do their unmarried sisters; they're less likely to be flirtatious; as a rule, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it — maybe a sick husband or one who's in the army; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Most transportation companies have found that older women who have never contacted the public, have a hard time adapting themselves, are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
3. While there are exceptions, of course, to this rule, general experience indicates that "husky" girls — those who are just a little on the heavy side — are likely to be more even-tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination — one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit but also reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job. Transit companies that follow this practice report a surprising number of women turned down for nervous disorders.
5. In breaking in women who haven't previously done outside work, stress at the outset the importance of time — the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
6. Give the female employe in garage or office a definite day-long schedule of duties so that she'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
7. Whenever possible, let the inside employe change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be nervous and they're happier with change.
8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. Companies that are already using large numbers of women stress the fact that you have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and consequently is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
9. Be tactful in issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way that men do. Never ridicule a woman — it breaks her spirit and cuts her efficiency.
10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
11. Get enough size variety in operator uniforms that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too strongly as a means of keeping women happy, according to western properties.
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again ?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser
Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Because he didn't have enough guts
Why did the chicken cross the playground ?
To get to the other slide
More (1)...
Why did the cow cross the road ?
To get to the udder side !
Why did the rooster run away ?
He was chicken !
Why did the chicken cross the road half way ?
He wanted to lay it on the line !
More(3)...
Why did the hen cross the street?
To see a man lay bricks.
See Kids Chicken Jokes
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And finally ... Why did the bacteria cross the road?
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: 'A beer please, and one for the road.'
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'
'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'
'Is it common?'
'Well, 'It's Not Unusual.''
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' says Dolly.
'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor,
doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!'
I went to a seafood disco last week ....and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.
'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.'
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.
A super-calloused fragile mystichexed by halitosis.
And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Search for My Wife Jokes
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. a companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells: "PIG"!!
The man immediately leans out his window and replies with "B-----!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner he slams into a pig in the middle of the road.
ATM Explosion, Clovelly Road, Clovelly. Thieves exploded the Bendigo Bank ATM and had to abandon their getaway car, an Audi sedan after they were caught out when the explosion was premature.
The Thieves then carjacked a second car to make their escape.
Pics Bill Hearne
See News.com.au
Candidates for the "Darwin Awards"
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $20 million.'
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three months later, she became his stepmother.
One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."
40-ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No tits
Average looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie
Friendship first = Former very *friendly* person
Fun = Annoying
New Age = Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Professional = Bitch
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large frame = Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate = Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AA is not an option. I will win.
Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator..... ( applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't ...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank fell on its sword, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
At my age flowers scare me.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family
...in another city.
I spent a year in that town,
... one Sunday.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk.
... The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?"
"Do I know her?"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman–already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet–who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
This will flummox you.
Count every " F" in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
Enter your count here: (remember to press the enter key)
This comment piece must be a joke. It's certainly not serious comment.
Read the full Guardian story here:
If Michelle Obama's such a great dresser, what was she doing in this red butcher's apron?
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks.
His bookkeeper is deaf.
That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, 'Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is.'
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.
The bookkeeper signs back: 'I don ' t know what you are talking about.'
The attorney tells the Godfather: 'He says he doesn't know what you're talking about.'
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, 'Ask him again!'
The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: 'He'll kill you if you don't tell him!'
The bookkeeper signs back: 'OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !'
The Godfather asks the attorney: 'Well, what'd he say?'
The attorney replies: 'He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger.'
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.
'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with old farts ..
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!
Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
See Shower Protocol
A Young man called Ron wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived a considerable distance away.
He consulted with his sister and decided after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Harrods ladies dept and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves.
His sister bought a pair of knickers for herself at the same time. Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Ron got the knickers.
Good old Ron sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter:
Dear Sasha,
I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove).
These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.
P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean).
I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
Signed, Jim
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer lying nearby.
His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder.
The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
See: How to Shower: Women vs. Men - The movie
Welsh Comedian Arrives in Australia With Luggage Problems
Part 3 of Welsh comedian Rhod Gilbert live at the Comedy Store.
What I Want in a Man - Original List:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasions
10. Shaves some weekends
1. Doesn't scare small children!
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.
I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I will live to be 80?"
He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."
"Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?"
"I said, "No, I usually stay home and keep to myself."
"Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, have a lot of girl friends?
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you care?"
Q: Where can women over the age of 60 find young, energetic men, who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'I remember these!'
On our 25th anniversary, my husband took me out to dinner...
Our young daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for us when we returned.
When we arrived home, we saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with China, crystal and candles, and there was a note which read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. ... We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"
My husband turned to me and said, "I suppose we could vacuum."
Click here for Crabby Road - Daily Online Comic
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily and recycle.
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OK, OK … Veliko Tarnovo and Plovdiv were the shining stars of our road trip in June, no doubt about that, but we found a few other hidden gems often missed by tourists.
Check here more about our roadtrip to Bulgaria.
The first ones are the Rock Hewn churches from Basarbovo and Ivanovo, less that 20 km away from the Romanian Border, in Russe area.


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Don't be put off by Black Friday deals on phones that are a year old
Getting the latest smartphone is not only tempting, but it's usually the best thing to do. It's likely to last you longer due to having the latest technology and longer software support and will also have all the new features to try out. However, this Black Friday, if you find a really good deal on an iPhone that's a year old, don't pass it by without serious consideration.
The iPhone 13 Pro was released in October and it replaced the iPhone 12 Pro, which Apple no longer sells through its own store. There are still plenty of iPhone 12 Pro models out there, though, as retailers sell through their stock, and Black Friday means many will discount them further to help shift them ahead of Christmas and the New Year.
iPhone 12 Pro (left) and iPhone 13 Pro (right) Andy Boxall/Digital Trends
I replaced my iPhone 12 Pro with the iPhone 13 Pro, and while it's an excellent smartphone, it's not really that much different from the iPhone 12 Pro, and when it comes to the camera, I don't think it's a huge leap forward at all. When I compared the two phones right after launch, I found the iPhone 12 Pro took photos that appealed more to me personally than the 13 Pro, particularly in the way it dealt with color and temperature.
Partly because of this, I don't see the iPhone 13 Pro as a worthwhile upgrade for anyone that already owns the iPhone 12 Pro. In turn, that means if you find a good deal on an iPhone 12 Pro over Black Friday weekend, don't pass it by just because the phone is a year old. It's still a fantastic smartphone. What's more, Apple's comprehensive software support means it will receive the latest version of iOS for several years yet and will easily last you two or even three years before being technically due for replacement.
Before you leap in and buy the first iPhone 12 Pro you see and call it a day, it's worth checking if it's actually a good deal. The best way is to understand how much a new iPhone 13 Pro costs — they start at $1,000 for the base model with 128GB of storage space. Any iPhone 12 Pro deal, therefore, needs to come in at a lower price than this to be worthwhile, preferably with 256GB or 512GB of storage space. Remember, the iPhone 12 Pro's basic model came with just 64GB of storage space, and it's best to avoid that one.
Find one for less than $1,000 and with more storage space than 128GB, and you're probably looking at a decent offer. Before settling on an iPhone 12 Pro, if you're really looking to stretch your budget, you may find a few iPhone 11 Pro models around, too. I'd say these are less tempting as the 12 Pro really moved the camera forward, but if you find a iPhone 11 Pro Max Black Friday deal with plenty of storage, it may be worth a look.
Galaxy S21 Ultra(Image only for representation purposes) Andy Boxall/Digital Trends
What about other phones that are a year old? Samsung's Galaxy S21 series is coming up to that age, and we do still recommend the Galaxy S21 Ultra, but deals on this phone have been common since it was released, so true bargains aren't as likely. The Google Pixel 5 has recently been replaced by the Google Pixel 6 and Pixel 6 Pro, and while it will have good long-term software support and still has a great camera, the Pixel 6 and Pixel 6 Pro are significantly better smartphones in terms of design and build and have even better cameras. I'd definitely look at the Pixel 6 Pro over the Pixel 6 — and either of them over the Pixel 5, unless it's at a really low price.
Buying a year-old iPhone model is one of the shrewdest smartphone purchases you can make, especially when the latest version isn't a huge leap forward, and resale and trade-in values will still be strong next year compared to devices from other manufacturers. Take your time looking at Apple Black Friday deals, and you could walk away with a superb cheaper phone that'll last you another couple of years without issue.


Enjoy a race like no other! The Petra Desert Marathon is a challenging adventure marathon set in the beautiful desert region of Jordan. Starting in the ancient city of Petra, the route takes runners on a remarkable race in the area surrounding Petra. From the lunar-like mountain landscape to the arid desert, runners navigate challenging terrain in the dry desert heat.
We offer a four night package, which includes your hotel accommodations, English speaking guide and a three-day entry to Petra. In addition, you have the option to extend your trip for three nights on the Adventure Extension in Wadi Rum (UNESCO World Heritage site), Dana Valley, as well as the capital city of Amman OR on the Cultural Extension with visits to Madaba, Mount Nebo, As-Salt, Amman, and Jerash.
In Jordan you will find delicious cuisine, which is based on traditional Mediterranean and Middle Eastern influences; be able to explore historical sites; and enjoy the warm hospitality of the Jordanians.
This was one of the best adventure tours I have traveled. Marathon tours has a gem in Scott Guillemette as he is a true cheerleader in all things. He is there for the client from the start to finish, he works at communication of the schedule more than once, and he follows up. We book with Marathon Tours because of Scott, even though we have ties to Albatros. Thanks Scotty G... for another great adventure.
Scott does an amazing job to push the quality of service from the Marathon Tours higher. He is always working, always accessible and has no reservations to clear the way. Scott will listen, and deliver a solution. Even when Albatros delivers slightly under expectations, Scott really tries to make his clients wishes and concerns heard and resolved.


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Urban Land Institute to Host Valentine's Day Policy in Motion Program <3
Join Lauren Michele on Valentine's Day for a fun program, chocolate cupcakes, and film screening on how we can create beautiful communities filled with lots of love! This event is for ULI Sacramento Members as part of the "Think Tank Series…
Posted: Jan 31 2013
Office of the Governor: Governor Brown Delivers 2013 State of the State Address
SACRAMENTO – Governor Edmund G. Brown Jr. today delivered the 2013 State of the State Address. Below is the text as prepared for delivery (from gov.ca.gov): Edmund G. Brown Jr. State of the State Address Remarks as Prepared January 24, 2013…
APA & AEP to Host Policy in Motion Program for AICP-CM Credits :: Jan 23 @ SACOG
Please join the Sacramento Valley Chapter of the California American Planning Association (APA) and the Superior California Chapter of the Association of Environmental Professionals (AEP) for an overview of Policy in Motion's research on integrated transportation and land use strategies…
Governing :: Washington Gov. Gregoire To Head EPA
GOVERNING:: FEDERAL NEWS BY: DYLAN SCOTT | NATION | JANUARY 4, 2013 Outgoing Washington Gov. Chris Gregoire, a former Governing Public of the Year, will be named administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) soon, according to a report by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.…
Documentary Now Available on Amazon and Policy in Motion!
Al Gore may have produced An Inconvenient Truth, but on August 10th Policy in Motion premiered a film documentary depicting the very convenient truth that by investing in better communities we can improve quality of life, economic growth, as well…
Posted: Oct 04 2012
Strategic Growth Council Names Mike McCoy New Executive Director, Allison Joe as Deputy Director
Strategic Growth Council Names Mike McCoy New Executive Director, Allison Joe as Deputy Director Transportation Expert McCoy Will Take the Helm Oct. 15 SACRAMENTO – The Strategic Growth Council (SGC) today announced the appointment of Mike McCoy as its new…
Transportation Funding: Past, Present, Future
Funding Beautiful Communities The nature of transportation funding is a cycle of birth and death. Despite clear state policy goals to address the transportation sector's 38% contribution to California's greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions inventory, funding for needed sustainable community investments…
Posted: Jul 22 2012
Al Gore may have produced An Inconvenient Truth, but on August 10th Policy in Motion will be releasing a film documentary depicting the very convenient truth that by investing in better communities we can improve quality of life, economic growth, as well as meet environmental goals. Policy in Motion Pictures Presents… Growing Beautiful Communities.
HISTORIC GUILD THEATER, SACRAMENTO
PROGRAM: STUDENT SCHOLARSHIPS, FILM SCREENING, Q&A WITH POLICY LEADERS, RECEPTION
GET YOUR TICKET TODAY! http://growingbeautifulcommunities.eventbrite.com/
*proceeds go to Policy in Motion student scholarship fund; first 25 tickets purchased receive a Policy in Motion stainless steel water bottle*
Growing Beautiful Communities is an independently-produced documentary building upon the themes in Lauren Michele's book Policy in Motion: Transportation Planning in California after AB 32. Through interviews with policy leaders and planners in transportation and sustainability fields, the film illustrates how the POD (People Oriented Development) concept can be used as a process to not only help California meetits greenhouse gas reduction goals but also to create sustainable communities and beautiful places to live. POD is driven by six main areas explored in the film: Job Growth, Community Schools, Places to Play, Quality Travel, Resource Management, and Housing Diversity. Growing Beautiful Communities depicts how an integrated approach to transportation planning and funding can improve community quality of life while meeting California's environmental and economic goals.
Caltrans Report Released Today with California Interregional Blueprint Summit :: Joined by BT&H, HSR, CTC, CARB, MPO Leaders
With today's release of the California Interregional Blueprint Draft Interim Report (CIB), hundreds of participants from across the state gathered to hear two of Governor Brown's most recent appointees as well as other regional and state transportation leaders – echoing…
Posted: May 23 2012
California Interregional Blueprint Summit May 23 to Host Governor Appointees and Directors: BT&H Acting Secretary Brian Kelly; HSR Chair Dan Richard; Directors of Caltrans, SCAG, SANDAG, CARB
Come see two of Governor Brown's most recent appointees speak at the California Interregional Blueprint (CIB) Summit: Brian Kelly, Acting Secretary, Business, Housing and Transportation Agency, and Malcolm Dougherty, Director, Caltans. If you have not registered for the Summit yet,…
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