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Celtic endure lung bursting Dubai session as stars battle dreaded bleep test
The Hoops' trip to the United Arab Emirates is anything but a holiday for the players.
Liam Bryce
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Run, run and run until you physically can't go any further.
For some, perhaps, that sounds like a challenge to be relished. For others, the very definition of misery.
Wherever you stand, there's one thing we can surely all agree on - the bleep test is hard work.
Dispelling any notion the midseason trip to Dubai is a holiday for Celtic's stars, Neil Lennon put his team through the most dreaded of training ground tribulations.
For the uninitiated, the bleep test involves running back and forward between two points for as long as possible.
The catch, however, is that the time afforded to run between the markers steadily decreases at regular intervals - signalled by two "bleeps" at the start and end of each lap, hence the name.
It's all designed to measure fitness and, in this case, ensure the Celtic players remain in peak condition heading into the second half of the season.
The current squad could be joined by some new faces before January ends.
Lennon's No.2 John Kennedy admits the Premiership leaders want to add an extra striker to their ranks as quickly as possible.
Transfer news LIVE as Celtic and Rangers plus Hearts, Hibs and Aberdeen eye signings
Slovan Bratislava's Andraz Sporar is an option, while Glenn Murry and Billy Sharp have also been linked.
And Kennedy said: "There are some options there which are going on in the background and will continue. And we would like to do that as quickly as possible.
"But it needs to be right. We don't want to just jump into something that is not quite right for us.
"So there is a lot of work going on behind the scenes. It's an area we are trying to improve to give us more options. But hopefully in the next week or two we can give you a bit more news on that."
Celtic FC news
Lennon wants killer instinct
Griff issues defiant message
Jags 1 Celtic 2 - 3 talking points
Neil Lennon hints at big signing


This recipe was created by Taylor Stolt. You can find the original post here. Mug Cakes are the perfect single serving treat to satisfy any sweet tooth. Registered Dietitian, Taylor Stolt, swears by this banana walnut cake for an after dinner snack. This healthy banana mug cake is lightened up using just one ripe banana and a teaspoon of honey….


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(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT)
HILLARY IS TURNING OUT TO BE A HECK OF A FAKE POPULIST
Now she's getting in the swing of it. Hillary Clinton is taking swipes at Wall Street, greedy corporations, overpaid CEOs, trickle-down economics, Republicans and even fat cats in her own party. Sounds good, but we suspect we have only Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren to thank for this newfound love affair with populism.
To the trained political eye, this latest attempt by Clinton to borrow the Sanders/Warren street cred is one big joke.
So should we believe her when she says she'll be hard on big banks? Politico says nope. The publication reports, "Down on Wall Street they don't believe it for a minute. While the finance industry does genuinely hate Warren, the big bankers love Clinton, and by and large they badly want her to be president. … What about her forays into fiery rhetoric? They dismiss it quickly as political maneuvers. None of them think she really means her populism."
And another reason for doubt: Alan Blinder, a trusted Clinton economic adviser to her campaign, told Reuters she wasn't planning to reinstate the Glass-Seagall Act which would split commercial banks from their investment banking operations. Many believe it was the 1999 repeal of Glass- Seagall that cleared the way for the financial crisis of 2008. So why won't she commit to bringing it back?
A cynic might point out the Clintons were the ones in the White House when it was repealed. Guess it's hard to run a campaign based on promises to undo the favors for Wall Street done by your husband while you were living at the White House. It's apparently easier to run as a fake populist while winking at your Wall Street pals.
NFL SAYS GOODBYE TO FINGERS, WHAT WAS LEFT OF REPUTATION
Three fingers celebrated their retirement from the NFL this month with separate fireworks displays last week.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback C.J. Wilson said farewell to his index and middle fingers on one of his hands in a fireworks accident on July 4. Wilson is in the final season of his twoyear contract, and teams are reportedly lining up to sign the player with eight fingers that plays a position where you need to catch a ball.
Meanwhile, the index finger of New York Giant's star defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul was blown off into the sunset on July 4 in Florida. The finger will miss out on what was supposed to be a new multi-million dollar contract for Pierre-Paul, who refused to sign a oneyear, $14.81 million deal in order to command more money. We can't quite put our finger on why, but that may have been a bad move.
The real winner of the retirements was ESPN reporter and former local beat guy Adam Schefter. Schefter, through "sources at ESPN," was able to obtain Pierre-Paul's medical records and posted a medical order on Twitter that said the player had his index finger amputated. Against claims of privacy invasion, Schefter explained to Sports Illustrated that he was "just doing my job." Believe it or not, HIPAA laws don't prevent the media from posting medical records.
With news a Buffalo Bills coach punched a kid on a Florida beach, and news that convicted domestic abuser Greg Hardy would be suspended as many games as Tom Brady, who might've known about deflated footballs in a game they won by seven touchdowns, it was another good week for the NFL.
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ICUMI

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TOPIC: reshade 3.0 partial shaders import..
Hi, i ve been installing reshade3.0 on several games. It works great so far.
1:But i noticed that not all shaders got imported in certain games. Why ist that? and how to get all available shaders imported?
2:Can i use superinject to load reshade ?
3: Is it possible to rename the reshade.dll to a differnt name.
1. Check the error log in-game or in the log file.
2. Probably. I don't know what that tool does.


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About Mary Raine
Our Partners & Donors
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Charter Hall Visiting Postdoctoral Scholar Lecture – 1 November 2018
Dr Emanuela Zannin
Politecnico di Milano, Italy
will present a Raine Lecture entitled:
Assessment of cardio-pulmonary function: application in positive pressure ventilation
on Thursday 1 November 2018 at 2.00 pm
at Telethon Kids Institute Seminar Room, Lvl 5 Perth Children's Hospital
Dr Emanuela Zannin is a post-doctoral fellow at the Biomedical Technologies Lab, Politecnico di Milano, Italy. She is a biomedical engineer with specific expertise in novel technologies for the diagnosis and monitoring of respiratory mechanics, mechanical ventilation, and preterm neonatal lung disease.
Dr Zannin obtained her PhD and M.Sc. in Biomedical Engineering in 2010 and 2005, respectively, both from Politecnico di Milano, Italy. Her M.Sc. and PhD projects aimed to develop new methods for the optimization of mechanical ventilation in patients with respiratory distress, with a special focus on neonatal applications. Dr Zannin was a visiting academic at the Murdoch Children Research Institute (Melbourne, Australia, 3 months) in 2011 and a long-term research fellow at the University Children's Hospital (Basel, Switzerland) between October 2016 and March 2018. Between 2008 and 2016, Dr Zannin was co-founder and member of the board of directors of Restech s.r.l, a spin-off company of Politecnico di Milano, aiming at developing and commercializing novel biomedical devices for lung function evaluation and home monitoring of chronic respiratory diseases.
University Host:
Professor Jane Pillow
School of Human Sciences
Email: jane.pillow@uwa.edu.au
November 1, 2018 /by raine@rainefoundation.org.au
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Q: Webclient produce boundary ----WebKitFormBoundary8huFCK1rAfUxxul6 I have a WebClient and I am trying to upload a file programmatically in C#.
While uploading the file using the real webform I get the following problem:
------WebKitFormBoundary8huFCK1rAfUxxul6
Content-Disposition: form-data; name="__EVENTTARGET"

------WebKitFormBoundary8huFCK1rAfUxxul6
Content-Disposition: form-data; name="__EVENTARGUMENT"

------WebKitFormBoundary8huFCK1rAfUxxul6
Content-Disposition: form-data; name="__VIEWSTATE"

The code I am using to upload the file is as follows:
internal void UploadFile(System.IO.FileInfo cvFileInfo)
    {
        if (cvFileInfo.Exists == false)
            throw new FileNotFoundException("The Specified file was not found.");

//I know this part is wrong >
        var values = new NameValueCollection
        {
            { "Content-Disposition: form-data; name=\"__EVENTTARGET\""        , ""                  } ,
            { "Content-Disposition: form-data; name=\"__EVENTARGUMENT\""      , ""                  } ,
            { "Content-Disposition: form-data; name=\"__VIEWSTATE\""          , _viewstate          } ,
            { "Content-Disposition: form-data; name=\"__VIEWSTATE\""          , _viewstategenerator } ,
            { "Content-Disposition: form-data; name=\"__EVENTVALIDATION\""    , _eventvalidation    } ,
            { "Content-Disposition: form-data; name=\"ctl00$main$CVFile\"; filename=\"Kiran Randhawa - Curriculum vitae - Copy.docx\" Content-Type: application/octet-stream", Encoding.UTF8.GetString(File.ReadAllBytes(cvFileInfo.FullName)) },
            { "Content-Disposition: form-data; name=\"ctl00$main$btnUpload\"" , "Upload Now"         } ,
        };

        var returnedBytes = client.UploadValues(_uploadCVUrl, values);
        var returnedString = System.Text.Encoding.UTF8.GetString(returnedBytes);

        if (returnedString != null)
        {

        }
    }

How do I fix this in such a way that it produces the desired packet output.
Many Thanks,
Kiran

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


New Mexico MMA had the pleasure of interviewing New Mexico's own Carlos Condit.
answer some questions for us.
Hey Carlos, How is everything going?
Every thing's going good man. I have been training like a mad man.
Yeah, You look good. Your kicks look very strong.
Yeah. That's never been a problem. Unlike my Wrestling and Jiu Jitsu.
how your suppose to feel after training like this.
there and defend the Title.
That's Great. I am glad that you have that Title here in New Mexico.
Did you get to see the belt up there? It's in the pro shop.
No I haven't got to see it yet. I will have to check it out.
So what do you know about your opponent?
going to have my hands full, but I'm gonna handle him.
Yeah, I think you will. Well thanks Carlos. I am going to let you get back to work.
day. Thanks for inviting me to your house.


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Forecasting is a critical component of success in almost any aspect of business. Shama talks to Rohit Bhargava about how you can get better at it.
Future forecasts are vital to staying current in the digital marketing world, and even staying ahead of the game completely. Shama Hyder sits down with Rohit Bhargava, author of "Non Obvious" to discuss his unique approach to future forecasting.
I would say that is quite unique, however, the more you think about it, it makes sense and must really help him out or he would put the effort into it. Right?
I guess it really depends on what market you are in. You should, SHOULD, be able to look at historical numbers and find the trends. Once that is in place, you are able to get CLOSE to predicting what will come around the corner for you.


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Launceston (IPA: ) è una località del Regno Unito di  abitanti.
Si trova nella contea inglese di Cornovaglia.

Amministrazione

Gemellaggi
 Plestin-les-Grèves, Francia

Altri progetti

Collegamenti esterni

Parrocchie civili della Cornovaglia

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


A magnitude 8.3 earthquake that struck deep beneath the Sea of Okhotsk on May 24, 2013, has left seismologists struggling to explain how it happened. At a depth of about 609 kilometers (378 miles), the intense pressure on the fault should inhibit the kind of rupture that took place.
"It's a mystery how these earthquakes happen. How can rock slide against rock so fast while squeezed by the pressure from 610 kilometers of overlying rock?" said Thorne Lay, professor of Earth and planetary sciences at the University of California, Santa Cruz.
Lay is coauthor of a paper, published in the September 20 issue of Science, analyzing the seismic waves from the Sea of Okhotsk earthquake. First author Lingling Ye, a graduate student working with Lay at UC Santa Cruz, led the seismic analysis, which revealed that this was the largest deep earthquake ever recorded, with a seismic moment 30 percent larger than that of the next largest, a 1994 earthquake 637 kilometers beneath Bolivia.
Deep earthquakes occur in the transition zone between the upper mantle and lower mantle, from 400 to 700 kilometers below the surface. They result from stress in a deep subducted slab where one plate of Earth's crust dives beneath another plate. Such deep earthquakes usually don't cause enough shaking on the surface to be hazardous, but scientifically they are of great interest.
The energy released by the Sea of Okhotsk earthquake produced vibrations recorded by several thousand seismic stations around the world. Ye, Lay, and their coauthors determined that it released three times as much energy as the 1994 Bolivia earthquake, comparable to a 35 megaton TNT explosion. The rupture area and rupture velocity were also much larger. The rupture extended about 180 kilometers, by far the longest rupture for any deep earthquake recorded, Lay said. It involved shear faulting with a fast rupture velocity of about 4 kilometers per second (about 9,000 miles per hour), more like a conventional earthquake near the surface than other deep earthquakes. The fault slipped as much as 10 meters, with average slip of about 2 meters.
"It looks very similar to a shallow event, whereas the Bolivia earthquake ruptured very slowly and appears to have involved a different type of faulting, with deformation rather than rapid breaking and slippage of the rock," Lay said.
The researchers attributed the dramatic differences between these two deep earthquakes to differences in the age and temperature of the subducted slab. The subducted Pacific plate beneath the Sea of Okhotsk (located between the Kamchatka Peninsula and the Russian mainland) is a lot colder than the subducted slab where the 1994 Bolivia earthquake occurred.
"In the Bolivia event, the warmer slab resulted in a more ductile process with more deformation of the rock," Lay said.
The Sea of Okhotsk earthquake may have involved re-rupture of a fault in the plate produced when the oceanic plate bent down into the Kuril-Kamchatka subduction zone as it began to sink. But the precise mechanism for initiating shear fracture under huge confining pressure remains unclear. The presence of fluid can lubricate the fault, but all of the fluids should have been squeezed out of the slab before it reached that depth.


At Saint James, we say a Prayer for Vocations daily after every Mass. Here is the text of the prayer by Bishop Nicholas DiMarzio. There are prayer cards in every pew for use in the church.
Lord of the Harvest, we petition you as you have instructed us to ask for more laborers to serve in the vineyard of Your Church.
You have told us that the harvest is rich and laborers are few and we experience this great need in the face of the challenge of the New Evangelization.
We ask the Holy Spirit to inspire young men and women to seriously consider vocations to the priesthood and religious life.
Help all of us to be effective instruments to encourage and support those whom you are calling to serve and lead the Church of Brooklyn and Queens in the future.
Lord, you told the Apostles to put out into the deep. We ask for the grace and courage to accept your call as we pray and work for an increase in vocations to the priesthood, diaconate and religious life.
We ask this in the Name of Jesus Christ, the Great High Priest, Amen.


Welcome, once again, to my blog.
This week I am in Denver visiting relatives — my brother and his family. I have many nephews out here.
During my visit, I am also giving a retreat for the seminarians from the St. John Vianney Theological Seminary. They have 41 seminarians from 14 different dioceses. I accepted this invitation in part because Archbishop Charles J. Chaput is my classmate and good friend. He has worked hard to promote the seminary.
The retreat is held at Camp St. Malo, a wonderful retreat house in the Rocky Mountains.
We are at the timberline with a spectacular view of the snow-covered peaks and, if you can imagine, there are bears, mountain lions and mountain goats in the area around the facility!
In fact, this is the same place Pope John Paul II came to go hiking in the mountains when he was in Denver for World Youth Day.
I came to the Denver seminary many years ago when Cardinal James Francis Stafford was the archbishop, and I gave a retreat to the priests of Denver in this same retreat house. It is a wonderful facility, and my visit gives me a little more time for prayer and reflection as we start the new year — an opportunity I appreciate very much.
In all, I will deliver 19 talks to the seminarians during the course of the week. I have already spoken to them about prayer, evangelical councils, the new evangelization and different aspects of the priesthood. In the evening, we have Eucharistic adoration until 11 p.m.
Interestingly enough, though I may be speaking, the seminarians are not. It is a silent retreat, so they do not talk, not even at meals.
Thursday night, however, we had a question and answer session. It was very a lively session — quite a contrast to the time of silence.
Three priests from the seminary are accompanying me at the retreat — two Jesuit fathers and a diocesan priest. They are here as spiritual advisors and confessors.
One interesting program at the seminary in Denver is their "spiritual year." It is a yearlong program for spiritual formation with emphasis on prayer and apostolic service to the poor. Being here gives me an opportunity to hear from the seminarians themselves about how they have experienced that year. At St. John's in Boston, we have been sending seminarians out to Creighton University, a Jesuit school in Nebraska, for a similar program, but it lasts only a summer rather than a full year.
The Jesuits are scheduled to vote for a new father general Jan. 19, and I have asked the seminarians at the retreat — and now I am asking you — to pray for that election because it has such repercussions in the life of the Church. The Jesuit order is responsible for so many centers of learning and formation. The order has such an impact pastorally and formationally in the Church, and it is very important that they choose a good superior general. So we pray that the Holy Spirit will guide the fathers who are at their general congregation.
Each year, the Massachusetts Citizens for Life holds their Interfaith Assembly for Life at Faneuil Hall in Boston.
The event, held Jan. 13 this year, is celebrating its 35th anniversary. Most years I have been able to be with them personally, and they have often gathered an extraordinary group of leaders of the community and people who are dedicated to the gospel of life. I know that many people from our parishes and, of course, Marianne Luthin from our own Pro-Life Office were a part of it. We are very supportive of the Massachusetts Citizens for Life and are grateful for the events that they sponsor — this interfaith assembly each January and the Walk to Aid Mothers and Children each October.
Thank you for the opportunity to join with you by letter at the 35th Annual Interfaith Assembly for Life. I regret that travel plans made it impossible for me to be with you at Faneuil Hall today. Please know of my prayers for the success of this Assembly and for the hope that one day soon our nation will restore protection of the sanctity of human life as the cornerstone of our society.
It is a privilege to join with clergy and laity from many faiths in our shared commitment to what the forefathers of our nation so rightly termed the "inalienable" right to life.
May the Lord of Life richly bless you and support your ongoing efforts to promote a culture of life and a civilization of love.
Also this week, the archdiocese was happy to announce the appointment of our new secretary of education and superintendent of schools, Dr. Mary Grassa O'Neill. A product of Catholic schools herself, she is an active parishioner and extraordinary minister of Holy Communion at her parish in Milton. She was superintendent in Milton for many years and, before that, she had been a senior administrator in the Boston Public Schools, so she also has experience with inner city schools. She has recently been training principals and teachers in a program at Harvard University.
Dr. Grassa O'Neill is a woman of extraordinary energy and experience, and we know she will attract a great deal of new talent to our Catholic school system. She will help us as we work with our pastors and principals at the Catholic Schools Office to make Catholic education the very best education in the faith and in the academic programs that we offer to our young people.
Over a year ago I formed a commission to study the faith formation of our adolescents and young adults. After looking at the recommendations of that committee, we have decided to restructure how we deliver services to youth and young adults. The change will also affect how the different offices and agencies for youth and young adults relate to each other.
We are bringing together the Offices for Youth and Young Adults with Campus Ministry and the Vocations Office. With this new office, the people who work with adolescents and young adults in the archdiocese will have contact with each other. They will be able to support each other, coordinate their efforts to evangelize, form young people in the faith and prepare them for their vocations in life, especially the call to holiness: the call to priesthood, religious life and the call to marriage.
Hello everyone from the brand new Office for the New Evangelization of Youth and Young Adults. I'd like to begin by thanking Cardinal Seán for inviting me to be a guest writer on his blog this week.
As I begin, let me introduce myself. I am Father Matt Williams and I was born and raised in Braintree, MA. I am 33 years old and I am the oldest of two. I attended Xaverian Brothers High School (class of 1992) and played football there with two guys who went on to play in the NFL (Matt Hasselbeck and Greg Comella). I joke with the teens telling them that Matt Hasselbeck was the reason why I didn't go on to a pro-football career as a quarterback.
After Xaverian, I attended Stonehill College and studied accounting. I graduated from Stonehill in 1997 and entered St. John's Seminary that fall. I was ordained a priest of Jesus Christ on May 24, 2003 and have spent the last four and half years at St. Mary's Parish in Dedham. It was the best assignment a newly ordained priest could have asked for. I have been so blessed to live in residence with many great priests (and a Bishop as well!), and serve the wonderful people of St. Mary's. It was extremely difficult to leave a parish family that I love so much.
One of the greatest blessings of my priesthood has been working with youth and young adults. St. Mary's has a Life Teen youth ministry program that recently celebrated its tenth anniversary. The blessings of this program have been abundant, from the establishment of a comprehensive middle school youth ministry program (Edge) to an Alumni program for our college students, to a R.E.F.L.E.C.T. group for adults. At St. Mary's I have had the privilege of walking with our young people along their life's transitions while serving them as their priest.
At Cardinal Seán's initiative, I was asked to become the director of this new office to lead young people to a radical decision of faith, life and vocation. I almost dropped the phone I was on when he asked me. I am overwhelmed and humbled to think of what it is that this office has been called to do. But I am also excited and confident that the Holy Spirit is doing something new in this Archdiocese, and as we "ARISE" as an Archdiocese, the young people of Boston will be play a major role in revitalizing our Church.
Office for the New Evangelization of Youth and Young Adults?
Well, we wanted a name that would energize and excite, as well as capture the vision of what this office will be about. The words "New Evangelization" are proclaimed by our late and great Holy Father, John Paul II, who was drawing from the wisdom of Pope Paul VI as he addressed the challenges facing the mission of the Church. The term "New Evangelization" is meant to be prophetic and revolutionary. Acknowledging that there are so many Catholics and Christians who are Christian in name only, there is a dire need for evangelization to be new in its "ardor, methods and expression" (JPII). It is "not a merely matter of passing on doctrine but rather of a personal and profound meeting with the Savior" (JPII). Now that is exciting!!!
So why youth AND young adults in the same office???
Well, Cardinal Seán says it best: "business as usual isn't working." Something new is needed! A recent study out of the University of North Carolina researched how effective different denominations have been in passing on the faith to their young. Catholics came in last. If you think of it, most of our efforts to reach out to young people revolve around sacraments: baptism, first reconciliation, first communion, confirmation and marriage. What we fail to do is walk with our young people from one sacrament to the next. Inevitably young people fall through the cracks. Just ask any pastor what percentage of the couples who come to him for marriage in the Church he knows personally. NOT MANY! What is needed is a new vision in which we intentionally organize ministries that accompany our young people through all stages, from early adolescence through adulthood. In this way the Church is actively meeting her young people at these crucial moments in their lives. I have to confess, we have sincerely tried to do this at St. Mary's and although we are far from perfect I can honestly say that it does work!
What is the make up of the office?
The office itself will consist of CYO, Scouting, middle school and high school ministries, high school priest chaplaincy, high school campus ministry and young adult ministry. This Office will focus on journeying with our young people before, during, and after confirmation, through high school, into college, and through the discernment of their vocation. The office will also plan and coordinate with the Office for College Campus Ministry, the Vocation Office, and Marriage Ministries (remote education and preparation).
As of today, Kathy Stebbins will be the coordinator for youth ministry. She is excited about this new opportunity and vision and looks forward to jumping into the thick of things. There will be an assistant director to the office. We will be hiring a coordinator of young adult ministries, and an office manager/minister to young people who will be as much on the front lines as in the office. Thus the office will consist of five full-time people and a number of part time members (priest chaplains, CYO coordinator, Scouting Coordinator, etc). At this time only two (Kathy and myself) are established so please bear with us as we assemble our team.
Inspired by the need for a New Evangelization, our mission is to form disciples of Jesus Christ and His Church, through a unified vision for ministry to young people, from early adolescence through young adulthood.
1. Well coordinated and unified ministerial outreach to youth (middle school through high school), college students and young adults, in order to meet them at the crucial moments of their lives, so as to help them make a "radical choice of faith and life" (JPII).
2. Provide ongoing support, mentoring and training for the human, intellectual, pastoral and spiritual formation of youth and young adults, as well as those who serve them.
3. Coordination and supervision of youth and young adult ministries.
4. Direction of middle and high school priest chaplains.
5. Coordination of high school campus ministers in order to envision, plan and collaborate in the ministry. Oversee and provide for the ongoing formation of campus ministers. Assist in coordinating the relationships between priest chaplains and the campus ministers. Finally, oversee the approval process of campus ministers who are considered for employment by the high school.
6. Ongoing planning, coordination and collaboration with the Director of College Campus Ministries.
7. Support and create a culture of vocations through ongoing planning, coordination and collaboration with the Vocation Office, for vocation awareness, and Marriage Ministries, for remote marriage education and preparation.
8. Collaborate with various offices and ministries, both within the Archdiocese and beyond, as needs and opportunities arise in reaching out to youth and young adults.
9. Facilitate fruitful collaboration and networking opportunities among pastors, parents, youth ministers, campus ministers and volunteers.
What can you expect from this office as we go forward???
— Draw upon the collective wisdom of the Pastors and those who serve young people through personal meetings, ministry audits and needs assessments.
— Provide High quality training, retreats and ongoing-formation for those who minister to young people.
— Renewed focus and energy for successful events such as World Youth Day (July 2008), and the Pilgrimage for Life in Washington, D.C. (Jan. 2008).
— Implement the recommendations of the Faith Formation Committee.
— Create affordable and effective resources for priests, youth ministers and volunteers.
Drawing this blog to a close I would like to express how honored, happy and excited I am about this new office, and the opportunity to serve and work with you. As I begin as director of this office, I realize that I have a learning curve the size of Australia. It is my intention to meet with all those serving young people. It is a new beginning and opportunity for all of us and I sincerely want to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit working through the many people He has chosen to serve the Church. It will definitely be a slow start but I can assure you once our team is set the New Evangelization will be in full force.
I ask you to remember Kathy and myself and the Office in your prayers, and you can be assured of our daily prayers as well.
An event you don't want to miss!!!!!
For the "photo of the week," I am posting not one but two photos Father Matt sent us, showing the vitality and the energy of our youth. Please pray for the success of this office and for our efforts to evangelize our new generations of Catholics.
From Denver, I will be traveling to Washington D.C. to participate in the March for Life next Tuesday. I look forward to share with you that experience in next week's blog.
I am a young man from the Philippines and I would like to know if it would be possible for the talks (meditations) from the seminarians' Spiritual Exercises to be made available for the consumption of our own priests, religious, seminarians as well as other young men in discernment.
Always a beautiful visit to your blog, Cardinal Sean! Please pray for our recently (and suddenly) deceased Sister Francetta Donnelly, SCC. I wrote about her on my blog and know that the Sisters and her family would appreciate your prayers, too.


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Q: User gets access denied to css files and js files even though user is logged in We are using wordpress as a intranet, we have the AD Integration plugin. Everything is working fine except for one user. Now there is no difference in settings on his machine or user profile or AD profile to any other user. But for some reason when he logs in he gets access denied to all the CSS files and JS files.
I know he has logged in successfully because I use console.log to display the username when logged in as well as other details such as full name and job title. The details are retrieved from the wordpress function for current_user so I know he is logged in. Has anyone else had issues with style sheets etc being denied even though the user is logged in?!

A: In most typical WordPress configurations the load of CSS/JS assets is not actually processed by WordPress core. Otherwise the performance would be horrible.
Web servers do fantastic work at serving static files like that though, so WP's configuration (.htaccess or other, depending on server) just passes all such files to them.
It's not clear from your description:

*

*if that user can access files when not logged in

*if specific files cannot be accessed or definitely all files

WP admin uses PHP for concatenation of assets, which does tend to cause issues now then. You can try setting SCRIPT_DEBUG constant to true in configuration to disable it (as well as minified versions) and see if that makes a difference.
But for completely static assets this is unlikely to be caused by WordPress core in general. Check server logs for clues, especially if you are running security and/or firewall modules on it.


text:
Standard Liège did not manage to win a trophy in the 2006–07 season, falling short to Club Brugge in the domestic cup final, and finishing some way behind champions Anderlecht in the domestic league. The main disappointment was failing to qualify for either the UEFA Champions League or the UEFA Cup group stages, which saw Johan Boskamp being sacked already on 30 August. He was then replaced by legendary goalkeeper Michel Preud'homme for the remainder of the season.

Squad

Goalkeepers
  Olivier Renard
  Jérémy De Vriendt
  Rorys Aragón

Defenders
  Rogério Matias
  Philippe Léonard
  Nuno Coelho
  Mohamed Sarr
  Frédéric Dupré
  Oguchi Onyewu
  Eric Deflandre
  Fred
  Marcos Camozzato
  Felipe
  Dante

Midfielders
  Milan Rapaić
  Karel Geraerts
  Axel Witsel
  Sérgio Conceição
  Steven Defour
  Gabriel N'Galula
  Siramana Dembélé
  Marouane Fellaini
  Mustapha Oussalah
  Yanis Papassarantis

Attackers
  Milan Jovanović
  Ali Lukunku
  Ricardo Sá Pinto
  Igor de Camargo

First Division

Matches

Sources
   RSSSF - Belgium 2006/07

Standard Liège seasons
Standard Liege


Referring to this one... Maybe I'm getting old, but she looks like a child.
Ok. So creepy young, but not illegal. Still doesn't do it for me. I guess 38 is old.
Old? I'd say put out to pasture, but NEVER in front of one!
I don't see twenty somethings or even legal teens as creepy. . . . .I see it as HOLY ****!! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN THAT MENTALITY!!!


text:
Firefighting funds depleted: Record number of wildfires in national parks
published bywww.yorktonthisweek.com
Canada– Wildfires scorched a record amount of Canada's national parks last year — the latest in a number of long, hot summers that have almost entirely depleted Parks Canada's firefighting reserve.
"We had a very busy fire year," said director of fire management Jeff Weir. "We had more wildfires than normal and those fires burned larger areas than normal."
The agency's annual fire report recorded 122 wildfires in 2015 that burned through 4,600 square kilometres — seven times the area of the city of Toronto.
The yearly average is 82, and, in 2014, the amount of park land burned in non-prescribed fires was 3,000 square kilometres.
Most of the damage in 2015 occurred in a single park. Fire licked through 3,700 square kilometres of Wood Buffalo on the boundary between Alberta and the Northwest Territories.
Parks Canada reserves about $8 million a year to fight fires. Any money not spent is rolled into a reserve to be used in busy seasons.
Lightning strikes on tinder-dry forests made 2015 the third big fire year in a row. Firefighting cost $14 million last summer and the reserve is pretty much depleted, Weir said.
"That means that next year we'll get our $8-million allocation and, if we exceed that, we will have to look at other funding sources within Parks Canada to cover the cost.
"It's not a job we can walk away from."
If it becomes necessary, the money would probably come from funds earmarked for other ecological restoration projects, Weir suggested.
Climate scientists have predicted that busier fire seasons will be one consequence of global warming and that will affect the parks as well, Weir said.
"If climate change is going to result in longer and drier summers … we're going to have a longer fire season, which will result in more ignitions and larger fires. Climate change is likely to increase our fire load across Canada."
Parks Canada also set a record for prescribed burns in 2015 — fires set and controlled by staff to duplicate a forest's natural cycle of burn and rejuvenation. The agency set 28 such fires in 12 national parks, from Waterton Lakes in southwestern Alberta to Louisbourg in Nova Scotia.
Prescribed burns help restore a forest's natural mix of plant species and ages, which also helps keep normal populations of animals in the park.
Weir said Parks Canada's goal is to set prescribed burns at 20 per cent of the natural rate. That means if a forest would naturally burn once every 60 years, the agency would burn it at a rate equivalent to once every 300 years.
Parks Canada began to move away from all-out fire supression and towards prescribed burns in the mid-1980s. It's now a world leader in such efforts, Weir added.
"We have 30 years of experience in natural environment restoration and maintenance. We've become global leaders in how we do that."Wildfires scorched a record amount of Canada's national parks last year — the latest in a number of long, hot summers that have almost entirely depleted Parks Canada's firefighting reserve.
"We have 30 years of experience in natural environment restoration and maintenance. We've become global leaders in how we do that."
– See more at: http://www.yorktonthisweek.com/firefighting-funds-depleted-record-number-of-wildfires-in-national-parks-1.2147787#sthash.DGs58ZvO.dpuf
24. November 2017 /by GFMCadmin


Mar 6, 2018 ... Other Fraud case filed on March 6, 2018 in the California Northern District Court.
of all others similarly situated,. Plaintiff, v. HEALTH-ADE LLC, and WHOLE FOODS ... Remedies Act ("CLRA"), Civil Code §§ 1750, et seq., Unfair Competition Law ("UCL"), Bus ... Ms. Bayol purchased the Health-Ade Kombucha : Original flavor.
Mar 20, 2019 ... Whole Foods Market Inc. and Health-Ade LLC will provide a refund to ... Alcohol Content Class Action Lawsuit is Gabriela Bayol, et al. v.


text:
WSU researcher joins international call to halt massive insect decline
They propose immediate "no regret" solutions, steps that can only help insects recover while they work to build more scientific knowledge of the problem.
Study finds BPA levels in humans dramatically underestimated
Researchers have developed a more accurate method of measuring bisphenol A (BPA) levels in humans and found that exposure to the endocrine-disrupting chemical is far higher than previously assumed.
Bee efficiency boosts diversified farming
The more diverse a farm's plant population, the more beneficial it is for bee pollinators, and the more efficiently those pollinators work, according to new WSU research.
A potential new way to diagnose male infertility and pharmaceutical treatment options
It can take a year or longer of trial and error for a doctor to determine if a man is infertile. New research by WSU biologist Michael Skinner could change that.
VPR Distinguished Lecture to focus on process of rapid evolution
Stanford University Professor Dmitri Petrov's talk, Barcoding Evolution, will take place on Monday, Oct. 21 at 3 p.m. in the Veterinary and Biomedical Research Building, room 305.
Scientists study how wasps learn for better trap
Funded by the Department of Defense, the research is spurred by concerns about annual wasp invasions of air traffic control towers at military airstrips across the southern U.S.
WSU expands Protein Biotechnology Program through new $2.3 million NIH grant
The competitive grant brings the total NIH investment into the program to more than $10.4 million since it began in 1989 as one of the first nine NIH training grant programs in biotechnology.
Plant science relationship growing across the Atlantic
WSU's growing collaboration with Germany's interdisciplinary Cluster of Excellence on Plant Sciences is adding a global perspective to the University's work to advance agricultural science and develop sustainable methods of food production.
Titan VanCoug now in bloom
The rare corpse flower is expected to be in bloom for up to 48 hours and can be seen in person 8 a.m. – 9 p.m. on the WSU Vancouver campus or via live webcam anytime.
Rare corpse flower preparing to bloom at WSU Vancouver
Nicknamed Titan VanCoug, the giant, pungent flower is expected to bloom at the end of July or the beginning of August and is being displayed both on campus and via livestream.


text:
The GameCola Top 50 Videogames Ever Made In The Whole Of Human History (As Far As We're Concerned): Part One
Behold! Gamecola's Top 50 Videogames EVER: Part One!
Contributed by Christian Porter on May 3rd, 2010 in Categories ColumnsWith content involving Tags Banjo-Tooie, BioShock, Christian Porter, David Donovan, Deus Ex, Elizabeth Medina-Gray, Faxanadu, Fire Emblem, Flower, GameCola, GoldenEye 007, Jeff Day, Justin Luschinski, lists, Mark Freedman, Matt Gardner, Matt Jonas, Mega Man, Mega Man 2, Michael Gray, Michael Ridgaway, Nathaniel Hoover, Paul Franzen, Perfect Dark, Silent Hill 2, Sim City 2000, Star Ocean, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Super Mario RPG, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, System Shock 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, The GameCola Top 50 Games Ever Made, The Legend of the Mystical Ninja, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, top 50 lists, Zach Rich
This article contains some strong language
Here at GameCola, we know that videogames are much like any other entertainment medium in that greatness is a rare buoy in a sea of revolting garbage. For every Casablanca there are 100 Norbits, for every Rolling Stones there are 100 Insane Clown Posses, and for every Legend of Zelda there are 100 Jenga: World Tours. For this reason, greatness deserves to be identified and celebrated.
So to do this, we gathered together our crack team of professional Internet videogame journalists and polled them on their personal top 25 favorite games of all time. These lists yielded 224 different games which were whittled down into a definitive list of the top 50 videogames of all time as far as we, the GameCola staff, are concerned. Since we are, of course, the most respected team of game journalists in all of Internetland, that makes this the most reputable, indisputable top 50 list in existence. However, everybody has their own opinion and nothing fuels fan rage quite like finding your favorite games were left off a Top 50 list—or, worse yet, that your favorite games were outranked by your least favorite. So I've included who voted for each game for your rage-flaming pleasure. If you'd like their home addresses I also accept bribes.
50. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
Who's to blame:
Zach Rich – #2
I don't mention it much, but the Fire Emblem series is one of those series that make me pee a little every time I see a screenshot of it. Here's a series that offers some of the best strategic thinking you can get this side of a chess board, with more statistics and equipment than you can shake a dungeon master's guide at. It was really hard for me to narrow it down to one entry from the series to put on the list, but at the end of the day, the GameCube chapter, Path of Radiance, is the one that still stands out to me the best, thanks to a solidly engaging story, almost too many memorable characters, and so many little tweaks to what makes the series so great. If you want to get someone into the series, toss them this gem first. Ike's story is a sad but exciting one, and it's one I've had the pleasure of playing through again, and again, and again.
—Zach Rich
49. Faxanadu
Jeff Day – #2
Faxanadu is an odd choice for this list. It was never extremely popular and it didn't fly off the shelves to game-hungry children. However, I declare it one of the finest action-RPGs to hit the NES. Sure, it may be ugly and earth-toned, and the character design is a tad demented, but with solid controls, an interesting story (mingled with useless NPCs giving their two cents about nothing pertinent, such as getting my autograph), a truly wicked soundtrack, and one of the best sound effects for slaying I have ever heard grace the NES, this is definitely worth trying out. Plus, hearing that you don't have enough Golds or the Guru's phonetically disturbing mantra meditation/game password delivery is mind-blowing.
—Jeff Day
48. Mega Man 4
Nathaniel Hoover – #2
Mega Man 4 set a new standard for what a Mega Man game should be. From slightly cleaner and more responsive controls to more detailed and less flickery graphics, Mega Man 4 made a host of subtle technical improvements over its predecessors. Though perhaps there are things that other Mega Man games do better, Mega Man 4 does more things well all across the board than virtually any other game in the series.
Mega Man 4 offers a wide array of fighting and platforming challenges as well as powerful, fun-to-use weapons that appeal to a variety of play styles. There's a handful of references to previous games, a modest assortment of multiple paths, a bona-fide plot twist, and a high number of inadvertently glitchy things you can do to amuse yourself. Multifaceted in its entertainment value, Mega Man 4 is the kind of game all its offspring for the next decade wanted to be like.
—Nathaniel Hoover
47. Perfect Dark
Justin Luschinski – #11
Matt Jonas – #16
Now, to most gamers nowadays, and to most PC gamers, this game might look like shit wrapped up in a blanket drizzled with fail. But back in the day it was amazing for anyone who owned an N64. Even now, concepts like different weapon firing modes have been left in the dust, to the dismay of many gamers. But at the time, it had amazing graphics, intriguing mutliplayer, a great story, great co-op gameplay, and it even had a mode where the first player attempts to beat a mission while a friend plays as one of the henchmen, which still hasn't been topped to this day. For innovating wherever it could, Perfect Dark gets a high recommendation. Just don't be a douche and use the Farsight, OK?
—Justin Luschinski
46. Deus Ex: The Conspiracy
Justin Luschinski – #1
For PC gamers, this name is essentially the equivalent of Jesus for Christianity. Although the story, setting, and characters were well realized for their time, the most intriguing aspect of this game was the perfect blending of first-person action and role-playing game elements. You could level up your main character however you wanted. Want to go in with an assault rifle and repaint the enemy stronghold in grey matter? You can do that. Want to hack the controls for the gun turrets and turn them against their creators? You can do that. Want to become a one-man spy ass-kicking machine and sneak around bases beating people up with nothing but a riot baton and a pair of shades from Sport Check? You can do that. It was that personal touch of choice, combined with a great setting, that truly made Deus Ex a marvel to behold.
45. Flower
Elizabeth Medina-Gray – #1
Without any text, overt storylines, or even much in the way of instructions, Flower shows us the sort of power that videogames are capable of. The premise behind this PSN game is remarkably simple: the player controls a single flower petal (or perhaps the wind?) and guides this petal through six different levels, awakening other flowers and generally making the world a better place. The game is innovative in its design and gameplay, and it's a joy to control.
Flower is visually and aurally stunning in new and interesting ways, and that's one reason, certainly, why it's on this list. But this is much more than just a "pretty" game. I feel fairly secure in saying that some of my strongest emotional responses to videogames—ever—have happened while I was playing Flower. And those are emotions from very different extremes: joy, serenity, excitement, fulfillment, terror…I can't really say much more without spoiling the experience for those of you who haven't played the game yet, so you'll just have to trust me on this one. Flower is a short game, but it is well-structured and does exactly what it sets out to do in the time that it gives itself. With astounding graphics and sound, and intensely absorbing and fulfilling gameplay, Flower is, in my opinion, very nearly a perfect game.
—Elizabeth "Lizo" Medina-Gray
(Please proceed to page 2)
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Christian Porter	 96
Email: cporter@gamecola.net
Justin Luschinski says:
I would like to point out that Knights of the Old Republic has a much better story than George Lucas could have ever hoped of writing, and if you haven't played it yet, you are not allowed on the internet until you do so.
Nathaniel Hoover says:
Any time I hear anyone complain about Feature Creep in the Mega Man series, the first thing I think of is Cranky Kong complaining about how, back in his day, all players had were a joystick and one button, and they LIKED it. We've got complex games like Smash Bros. Brawl on the list, and people are whining about having the OPTION to hold down a button to charge up a shot?
I'm just railing on you because Mega Man 10 was Feature Creeped to the max, yet it didn't have the two features–sliding and charging–that would have made the game more fun.
Leave a Reply to Nathaniel Hoover Cancel reply
Tennis in the Face (iPhone)
Tennis star Pete Pagassi gets addicted to energy drinks and seeks his revenge on clowns and hipsters.


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To put our firm in a strong market position, we chose to affiliate with Guardian. For over 150 years, Guardian has helped protect individuals, families, businesses, and their employees with insurance and other financial products. They have delivered stable performance—even during turbulent economic times. It's the type of company you want and need working side-by-side with you.
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Lightly-tinted hydrating treatment provides an all-day sheer wash of colour. Natural, light-diffusing Iron Oxides provide translucent color for radiant skin, while Broad Spectrum sunscreens shield against damaging UV rays.
Can this be used with skinperfect primer spf30?
This product contains crushed pearl powder.
Which shade of sheer tint is closest to the shade of skin perfect primer?
Medium would be the closest shade to Skin Perfect Primer SPF 30. However, I personally use Sheer Tint Light and Skin Perfect Primer SPF 30. It depends on your skin since Skin Perfect Primer has a lot of range.
Is this a moisturiser or a primer?
This is a wash of colour with SPF. For best results, you should use it on top of your preferred moisturiser. It can be your last step in skin care and first step in makeup, like a primer step.
I have acne prone skin. Can I use the sheer tint spf 20? If not, which would be the most suitable 'spf + tint' product for acne prone skin?
Dermalogica. Sheer Tint SPF 20 is for all skin types. Therefore, you can use it if you have acne. It provides light weight, build-able coverage.
Does this product have UVA and UVB protection? Or just UVB?
All of Dermalogica's SPFs offer broad spectrum protection against UVA and UVB rays.
This product has high quality botanical oils, from ingredients like lavender to nourish the skin.
I have been using this tinted moisturizer for many years, it's my absolute favourite! It makes my skin looks just a litte bit sunkissed and gives it a healthy glow. Love it!
A light moisturizer which makes my skin looks just a little bit sunkissed and gives it a healthy glow. I have been using this for a long time, and will definitely keep on using it!
This is a great tinted moisturizer but its not actually all that moisturizing, I use Smoothing Cream first underneath. The sheer tinted color however melts in nicely.
I've used this product since the foundation range was discontinued and it come a fairly close 2nd best.


text:
All Audio SBS World News Radio
What it's like to flee your homeland and become a refugee
SBS World News Radio
A number of refugees in the Northern Territory are telling the stories of the atrocities that led them to resettle in Darwin.
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It's a shame more people don't drink White Port but one taste of Portal's Fine White and you'll be converted in an instant! Citrus in colour, this Port has a great nose of fruit and nuts with a lovely fruity palate. Long, complex and very versatile – serve chilled as an apéritif or not quite as chilled as an after dinner Port!


Every summer, we go with friends to various parks around Jerusalem.
Parks are great for so many reasons. They are FREE, and FUN, and MANY different families can all come and PLAY TOGETHER. Also, the kids feel free to run off and play by themselves, leaving the moms free to sit around and chat!
We love finding "new parks," but we also have our "old favorites."
My friend, IS, is the primary motivator and coordinator.
Our favorite park is The Mifletzet in Kiryat Yovel, in southwest Jerusalem. (click here for an arial view).
That's where we went today.
Our get-togethers are open to anyone who wants to join us, but there are several families who are "regulars." IS, NA, CV and I, all spent years together, meeting for "playgroups" with our kids. In many ways, our park excursions are the natural extension of our playgroups. The kids still get to play, and the moms still get to talk.
Y was the last to arrive, coming by bus from her course in French Hill (northeast Jersusalem). Due to a few mixups, she took 3 buses and still ended up in the wrong place!
She was not far away, but by bus it could take another 30-45 minutes. I felt so bad for her, and a bit frustrated, but I was too tired to pick her up. My friend, NA, just shrugged her shoulders, noting calmly "that's how they learn to get around." I wish that would be my first reaction!
Once Y arrived, she immediately disappeared with IS's and NA's daughters. The younger siblings were already out and about, sliding, climbing, and building sand castles.
IS had arrived early enough to claim a bench right across from the slides, so we had primary visual access to our children. And a short, stone wall just opposite us, so the kids could sit and hang out with us whenever they wanted.
At one point, A was building sand castles with RV, who is several years younger. CV asked me if I thought A was just being nice to RV. I looked over at my youngest daughter, and noticed how happily she was playing. Clearly, she was not concerned about the age difference.
As we were about to leave the park, the girls suddenly jumped up and went down the slides all together. It was a pleasure to see Y and the other older girls playing and laughing freely.
My son finally reappeared, with the other older boys, when it was time to go. MD is at his best, when he is outdoors, and can run and climb. He has always been my little "nature boy;" though he is not so little anymore.
I had really pushed myself to get out of the house this afternoon. I was so tired.
Parks bring out the best in us all!
"I am not going to stay in the hotel tomorrow night." said my friend, last Monday, "The room is paid for; it's a shame for it to go to waste. Maybe you know someone who would like to use it..."
I would have loved stay in the hotel... on a different day. But not Tuesday night, after a long chemo day.
Later, I thought about it some more. A free night in a hotel. An offer like that does not come my way every day.
"I'll use the hotel room!" I said.
"I think I'll take one of my kids," I said, thinking aloud.
Ideally, I would have loved to go away with Moshe, even for just one night. But, logistically, it would not work.
Since I had just spent significant "quality time" with A, my youngest (after we went to Kever Rachel, I took her out to lunch and we had a wonderful time together), I decided to go to the hotel with Y, my sweet, eldest daughter, who has suddenly become the quintessential teenager.
It was so good for us to go away together!
After dinner, we unpacked our things and got ready for bed. Then we had a slumber party! We watched silly things on TV, ate melon and cake, and talked. I even braided Y's hair.
We did not talk about anything serious. We joked about this and that, made comments about the TV shows, and laughed.
Before we knew it, it was past midnight. We were both tired, happy, and ready for bed.
I called Moshe to say good-night. A was sleeping over at a friend's, so Moshe and MD had some "quality time" of their own. They had gone out to a movie and had a great time. Everyone had a special experience that night. I went to sleep feeling tranquil and at peace.
In the morning, Y and I woke up early, so that we could eat breakfast together. I love hotel breakfasts!
Our morning was relaxed, and easy going. Breakfast was refreshing and tasty.
I drove Y to her course, and headed off to my retreat.
Seamlessly, we returned to our busy lives.
Our support group seems to have dwinded.... but, not exactly. Each meeting, only 5-6 women attend; however, each time it is different women. We seem to be fluctuate between 10 "regulars." (2 women seem to have dropped out).
"Which is more difficult," asked our group's facilitator, "and why?"
We give from a place of strenth; we are empowered by giving.
We receive from a place of weakness; receiving makes us feel "needy."
We prefer to be "givers" rather than "takers."
We have strong egos. We cling to our self-image of being "hakol yachol" (able to do anything).
Accepting help means accepting our inability to do that which we did before. We do not want to accept our limitations. So we resist.
We also know that we really do need help.
We know all these things to be true. Yet, asking for help is one of the hardest things for us to do.
I have learned to keep lists. If someone offers to help me, I write it down. If I don't, I will forget who offered.
If I am out and about, I probably don't need help at that moment. But I will need help another time and it is easier to call someone who has already offered to help.
If someone offers a particular kind of help, I write that down too. Not everyone is willing to go shopping, pick up my kids, do my laundry, or help me clean my house... but some people are.
I am learning to be gracious. When someone helps me, whether solicited or not, I say "Thank you."
Rather than throwing out some sort of deprecating comment (choose any of the following: 1. "you shouldn't have...", 2. "it wasn't necessary..." 3. "we don't really need it..."), I express my appreciation: "Thank you for thinking of us", "That was helpful/thoughtful/kind," "I really appreciate your efforts."
Slowly, very slowly, I am learning not only to accept help, but also to ask for the help I need.
I am learning to say "Thank you. We don't really need 'that', but 'this' would be very helpful."
After I was diagnosed last summer, Moshe turned to me and said decisively: "You need to squelch your natural inclination and, every time someone offers to help, just say 'yes'!"
Who would have thought that saying "yes" could be so difficult?
We drove in shifts to Ya'ar Yerushalayim (the Jerusalem Forest), where there were three madrichot (guides) waiting for us. They would be leading the session with J, one of the psychologists from Beit Natan (she gave an excellent lecture at the winter retreat).
As we waited for the rest of our group to arrive, I asked D, one of the madrichot, about Etgarim. Etgarim began as an organization to provide physical challenges for necheh Tzahal (wounded soldiers). Over time, it expanded and now offers challenges for all sorts of groups, including youth at risk, other groups with disabilities, etc. I discovered that D also had a disability -- she was deaf (she spoke so clearly, that I hadn't noticed).
When everyone arrived, we introduced ourselves. We began our first challenge by forming a human knot and working together to untangle the knot. It was challenging.... and fun!
Afterwards, J gave each of us a slip of paper and instructed us to write down one or two of our dreams; something that we would like to see in the future, that would be a turning point in our lives.
Then, we walked over to the main challenge: O.D.T. ("Out Door Training). The madrichot had prepared a "rope bridge" -- two rows of rope, strung across four trees. With our feet on the bottom rope (approximately 1 meter above the ground), and our hands on the top rope, we would walk from one end of the bridge to the other (with safety equipment, of course).
I knew it could not possibly be as easy as it looked when the madricha (guide) demonstrated how to do it. Nonetheless, I volunteered to go first. The longer I waited, the scarier it would be for me.
There were three stages of the bridge. At the end of the first section, hung a bottle into which we would deposit the notes with our dreams. We could choose to complete just the first section, or to complete all three stages. I was determined to complete all three stages.
I started all right, using my good leg to lift myself onto the ropes. As I pulled myself along, I felt the bottom rope shaking. I started laughing. L was there, and as I inched along, with the bottom rope shaking all the while, the two of us kept laughing. I felt myself falling backwards; I could not seem to find my balance and stand up straight.
I calmed myself and looked to D for guidance. D advised me to brace my legs. But with my bad hip, I could not lock my knees. When I tried, the stress on my hip was too painful.
I fought to hold back tears. I have always thought of myself as a strong woman, capable of anything. Suddenly, I could not ignore the fact that I had a physical limitation.
I looked D in the eyes, and quietly said "ani mugbelet" -- I meant to say "I am limited", but the Hebrew words also mean "I am handicapped." As I gave voice to the words, I was struck by the second meaning. I suddenly came face to face with a truth I had been desperately avoiding.
I tried with all my strength to complete the first stage, but it was too difficult to hold myself on the ropes. I let myself down, literally and figuratively.
I did not even reach the end of the first stage, to put my note in the bottle.
I stepped aside and endeavored to compose myself.
J came over and asked if I would like to try again, with her on the ropes with me. Apparently, it would be easier with someone else leading. I said yes.
After watching two or three women complete the task, I was ready to try again.
J went up first; then I lifted myself onto the ropes, again. J wanted to help me with the safety ropes, but I was capable of handling them by myself. Still, I needed more help to stand up securely. Y, one of the other madrichot, balanced the ropes from the other side.
This time, I completed the first stage, and was ready to go on.
Towards the end of the second stage, I seemed to be handling myself much better. Y suggested that I complete the rest of the second and third stages by myself. I agreed.
Almost as soon as Y sailed away down the ropes, I felt my balance shifting. I could not hold myself steady without her assistance. I called Y back. With Y's help, I could do it.
At the end, as I climbed down from the rope bridge, I felt good that I had traveled the entire bridge. But I wanted to do it by myself.
When everyone had completed her turn, those women who wanted, could cross the first stage of the bridge a second time.
I really wanted to cross the bridge myself.
I pulled myself up onto the ropes.
I tried to hold myself steady, to find my balance.
I could not do it. I needed help.
Once again, I turned to Y for help.
With her assistance, I was able to cross the bridge confidently.
I was the only member of our group who needed that kind of assistance.
I was also one of the youngest members of our group.
I was also the only member of our group with metastasis (as far as I know).
I was also the only member of our group with a physical limitation (with the exception of an older woman, who did not even attempt to cross the bridge).
As I mulled over my experience, I had an epiphany.
I need not feel embarrassed about needing help. I should be proud that I was able to recognize my limitations and to get the assistance I needed.
Asking for help did not mean that I failed. Rather, my ability to seek the help I needed meant that I succeeded.
Like so many others, I loved his "Last Lecture."
And I checked his personal update site every few days.
I followed his battle with pancreatic cancer, and I was inspired.
Just yesterday (Friday), I was talking about him with Moshe. We were encouraged by the fact that he's still alive, and might even see himself when the new Star Trek movie comes out. A few hours later, his name came up again, when Moshe cited his opinion about encyclopedias and Wikipedia.
Randy Pausch passed away on Friday morning.
Randy is survivd by his wife, Jai, and their three children, Dylan (6), Logan (4), and Chloe (2).
I did not have to be persuaded to attend this time.
After such a strong and positive experience at Beit Natan's two day winter retreat (read about it here and here), I was thrilled to attend a one day event in Jerusalem!
As we entered the conference hall, we received a small bottle of "bubbles."
Haya Heller, who founded Beit Natan, greeted us. She is a very impressive woman; a psychologist by profession, she is also living with her own challenges (MS). Haya concluded her opening remarks by inviting us to let out our "inner child." Slowly, women of all ages rose from their chairs, and filled the room with the magical soap bubbles.
I did not expect to learn anything new from the first lecture, about nutriciton. I was pleasantly surprised to find the lecture both interesting and informative. Though the theory was inspiring, the practical application was... well, impractical. Healthy eating demands food preparation. Spending a significant amount of time in the kitchen has never been "my thing."
Next on the program, we had a choice of 4 sessions. Originally, three of the sessions were divided by topic and stage of cancer, and the fourth session was in English. I chose to attend the session for women with advanced cancer. Unfortunately, in the end, none of the sessions were determined by stage. Since the groups were random anyway, I decided to attend the group in English.
I was the only woman in that group (with the possible exception of one), with metastasis. During the introductions, three women shared that they were rejecting conventional treatment and choosing to treat their cancers solely with "alternative" methods -- I found that very disturbing. I do not dismiss the benefits of "complimentary" medicine. But I cannot fathom how someone can choose a path that is likely to lead to metastatis.
The session was lead by a "narrative therapist", who invited us to interview cancer. The fascilitator and another participant played the the roles of cancer cells. I watched as the women asked: What do you want from us? Who are your parents? How can we get rid of you?
As the "cancer cells" answered these questions, I felt increasingly alienated. I do not relate to the approach that "cancer is caused by worry and stress" or "cancer is a gift." At the root of these attitudes is the idea that we can control cancer, that if we can learn what we need to learn from it, then the cancer will go away, or not come back. Not only did I feel the session was a waste of my time, it was actually disturbing me.
I decided leave and find a different session.
I joined the session "Speaking with Ourselves and Our Loved Ones", led by the facilitator of my support group. The women were talking about communication, and the difficulties in talking about cancer, with our kids, husbands, and friends. It occurred to me that I can easily talk about the technical side of cancer (test results, treatment plans, etc), but that it is far more difficult to talk about the emotional issues (having cancer forever, being a mother with cancer, fears of dying, etc).
Towards the end of the session, we were asked to write a letter, to ourselves or a loved one. I knew right away that I needed to write to Moshe, and that I would share the letter with him. I want so much to find a way to talk about the emotional issues without being swallowed up by them.
When the session ended, I felt strong. I knew that I needed to talk with Moshe, and that I would find the courage to raise some of these issues.
For years now, I have wanted to visit Kever Rachel.
A few years ago, "they" built this big new complex.
I was curious how it looks.
I remember Kever Rachel as a small, rather run-down, old building. I was there almost 25 years ago (when I first came to Israel). Back then, visiting Kever Rachel was an educational experience, not a political statement.
Moreover, I know that historically, it is unlikely that Kever Rachel is really Kever Rachel. (Though the tradition of that location probably dates back to the time of the Crusaders).
Nevertheless, do not try and take it away from me and my people!
As soon as it became difficult to go to Kever Rachel, it became important to davka go to Kever Rachel. But getting there is not so easy anymore. You can no longer just hop in your car and go.
Again, my friend MG, who is visiting from the US, wanted to go. So, I decided to go with her.
I could not take MD with me, 'cause he is a Cohen. But I did take A.
A few minutes after boarding the bus, we passed through a checkpoint and entered a concrete corridor. A minute later, the bus stopped opposite the entrance of a large building with a façade of Jerusalem stone. Across the street, a flowered traffic circle, and an empty parking lot, beckoned for cars that no longer come.
We entered the complex. Our footsteps echoed along the marble hallway.
There inner room was crowded; there was no where to sit. A did not feel like reciting Tehillim (Psalms) or her morning prayers. Instead, she said a short personal prayer. Then we went and sat in the larger, outer room.
"Are you always going to have cancer?" my sweet and innocent 10 year old asked quietly, as soon as we sat down.
We spoke about God and miracles.
We also spoke about living with cancer.
My heart felt like it was breaking.
I could not protect my little girl from the pain and sorrow, even though I was trying so hard.
I felt grateful that she felt comfortable asking the question. She is so acquiescing, so accepting. Yet, clearly, she is also sad and hurting.
Then, just as suddenly, A started talking about something else. I was a little surprised at how quickly she changed topics. But she was done, and moving on. So, I did too (at least on the outside).
A few minutes later, A went to get some water, and I went inside the inner room and recited some Tehillim. She joined me for a few minutes. When MG finished davening, we all left to catch the next bus.
For those who are interested: There is a subsidized bus (Egged #163), that runs along Derech Hevron. The round trip costs only 7.50 NIS, from anywhere along the line.
On the way home, MG explained the significance of Kever Rachel to A.
"Rachel," she explained, "is the spiritual mother of the Jewish people. Rachel suffered her entire life. Rachel grew up among idol worshipers; she delayed marrying her love, so that her elder sister could marry first; she died in childbirth, after her second son was born; she never lived to see her children grow up. Because of her suffering, Rachel's prayers are powerful. We hope that by praying at her tomb, our prayers will join hers. We hope that God will pay special attention to our prayers, because we are praying together with Rachel Imeinu (Rachel, our mother)."
We were on a bus full of religious people, mostly women, many of whom regularly pray at Kever Rachel. No demonstrations. No slogans. Just simple religious people on a spiritual quest. The passengers spoke in hushed tones, as though still within the prayer halls.
We left behind the large, beautiful complex, with marble halls and a façade of Jerusalem stone. The bus lumbered through the silent corridor, lined with towering concrete walls.
Some are satin, some are steel, some are silk, & some are leather.
They're the faces of the stranger, but we love to try them on"
That Sunday, June 22nd, we made masks.
It was our third or fourth meeting, and only five women came: L, T, P, ? and me.
Despite the small group, or perhaps because of it, the atmosphere was conducive to intimate conversation.
It's funny; by making virtual masks, we revealed what lies behind our very real, albeit invisible, masks.
The facilitator brought markers, and feathers, string, and... sparkly pipe-cleaners.
I immediately chose a few sparkly pipe-cleaners and quickly cut them to size/shape: sparkly gold pipe-cleaners to line my eyes, and form my eyebrows; sparkly red pipe-cleaners to form round circles, for my cheeks. Then I lined the opening for my eyes with translucent green cellophane. I attached t'chelet (periwinkle blue) string to either side, to tie the mask over my eyes.
What does my mask mean? It's simple.
The pipe-cleaners represent my energy, and joy. They are the dominant features, and I want my mask to reflect that. The green cellophane represents the thin, almost invisible, layer that hides my eyes, so you can't look too deep, and see the pain that is within. The t'chelet strings represent the tears, that sometimes escape, despite the smiling veneer.
I wear my mask, so people smile when they see me.
I wear my mask, so people talk to me with joy.
I wear my mask, so people treat me like I'm going to live forever.
I wear my mask, because I like the way it looks on me.
I wear my mask, because that's what I want to see when I look in the mirror!
A good friend of mine, MG, arrived in Israel Wednesday night.
My sister called me on her way home from the pool, with my two younger kids. When I told her that MG was at my home, my sister scrapped her plans to take my kids out to pizza. Instead, she picked up extra pizzas and joined us for supper!
We hung out for a while, then my sister went home. MG wanted to go to the Kotel (Western Wall).
"Now?" I asked, hoping we could just hang out at home.
I am not such a big Kotel person. Jews started praying at the Kotel because non-Jews ruled the land of Israel and forbid Jews going up to pray on Har HaBayit (the Temple Mount). The Kotel is not inherently holy; rather, it became our spiritual destination because it was the closest we could get to our holy site, Har HaBayit. Now that Jews rule the land of Israel, we should return to praying on Har Habayit.
Ideology aside, my friend really wanted to go to the Kotel... now. So, I abandoned all hope of going to sleep early, and took her to the Old City.
It was 11:30 at night, and there was no traffic. As we drove into the Old City, I turned to my friend and said "You know, with my "handicapped parking" sticker, I think we can drive right in and park next to the Kotel." If I was wrong, at that hour, it would be quick to drive around the Old City again. "Let's try it," I said with a grin.
We parked in the plaza. It was pretty cool.
My friend went up and davened (prayed) next to the Wall. I hung back and thought about... things (Har HaBayit, politics, my family, my health....). Eventually, I picked up a Sefer Tehillim (Book of Psalms) and recited the first few psalms.
"Oh," I responded, "I drive home that way all the time."
My friend thought I must not have understood correctly, since left is towards "East Jerusalem" (where mostly Arabs live) and right is towards "West Jerusalem" (where mostly Jews live). But, when there is a lot of traffic, I often cut thru Ir David (Silwan), and Abu Tor, to get home quicker.
It was almost midnight, but we decided to go visit. I had never been there and I was curious.
MG's friend MW was so cool!! We had a great time!!
At one point, MG's kids called to talk and MG was just chatting away. I felt a little anxious, because I needed to get home and bake a cake for my youngest daughter's birthday party!
As you know, I'm not a big baker. I bake three times a year. (my husband does not even get a cake for his birthday!). But this was fun!
It was 1:00 in the morning, and I was baking with someone I just met, in a really cool Jewish neighborhood in East Jerusalem!
MW explained a bit of the history of the land. It was purchased as agricultural lands by Chabad, during the time of the Ottoman Empire. The Jews of Jerusalem used the fields to plant wheat for shmura matzas for Pesach. In 1948, the lands were confiscated by the King of Jordan and the fields lay dormant. In 1967, when East Jerusalem was recaptured by Israel, the lands were returned to their lawful owners. Irving Moskowitz purchased the lands and is developing the new neighborhood.
I was interested in hearing more, but it was late, and we were all tired.
As MG and I drove back home, I could not help but be amazed at how close these people were living to Har HaBayit.
So, a week has passed. I no longer feel the intense pressure (like a watermellon is trying to exit my head, via my ear). However, I still have pain, ringing and the sensation that my ear is "clogged."
I almost went the ENT clinic yesterday (Tuesday), since my ear was hurting a lot, but I decided to stick it out one more day.
Today (Wednesday), the ENT doctor said my ear looks better. He noted that, though the process is slow, there is improvement.
So, I get to...... "come back next week."
Meanwhile, I am done with the oral antibiotics and back to the antibiotic ear drops.
And, since I am pouting, I will just say that this was supposed to be my week off!
"If your head was not attached to your neck," my mother would admonish me, "you would forget that too."
As a kid, I resented it. As an adult, I reluctantly admit it is true.
This morning, I did not feel well. I wanted to nap, but there was too much to do. I was busy with a thousand things when I realized that I had to get going or I would be late to the pool. I arrived, just minutes before my first class, and got a parking space right in front of the entrance (the first good thing that happened today). As I removed my keys from the ignition, I looked to my right and noticed... my pool bag was not there.
No pool bag = no swim suit = no lessons.
I had no choice; I had to go back home to get my pool bag.
I sent A into the pool, to tell my student. Then I pulled out of my perfect parking space, knowing that it would not be there when I returned.
I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
What could I do? I called my sister.
She was having a pretty bad day too. But, after hearing about mine, she said "you win!" At least I made her smile (and maybe even feel better)!
My sister is a really good listener. She always knows just what to say!
My sister listens... empathizes... and, when appropriate, laughs.
I felt much better when I got off the phone.
Alas, my day's mishaps were not yet over.
On the way home from the pool, I phoned my son at his friend's home, and instructed him to meet me on the corner.
A few minutes later, as I am driving down Derech Hevron, my daughter asked "why didn't you pick up MD?"
I could not believe that I forgot to pick him up!
My mother's words rang in my ears.
I think I lost my head in Australia.
It is hard for me to choose.... So I try to do everything!!
I am always trying to "dance at two weddings" -- thought they are not always weddings!
Monday night, I had my support group meeting at 6:00, in Bayit Vegan (not far from Sha'are Zedek) and a Bar Mitzvah at 7:00, at Shulchan David, on Mount Zion, next to the Old City.
I missed the last meeting of my support group, because of my terrible ear infection (which still hurts, but is improving.... SLOWLY). So, I really did not want to miss it again.
Even though I was running late (surprise), I arrived with the intention of leaving after an hour.
The group was small, but good: L, MC, E, Y, C and Me.
Both L and C had gotten some bad news that day, so we also dealt with some of the more difficult aspects of not being in control of our lives.
L and her husband were about to go on a 10 day vacation together. That morning, her doctor told her to cancel her vacation because she needs a small surgery, due to a new problem in her kidneys.
C also just found out that morning that her chemo isn't working and the cancer is growing, significantly.
Apparently, chemo has not been effective recently for both L & E, and they are also anxiously awaiting news about what treatment to start next.
Y seems to be in constant pain as well.
The meeting was a bit hard, content wise, but it was also important, content wise.
I have a hard time coping with my illness, and especially with the lack of control over my life.
I am, B"H (Thank God), still in the beginning of my battle. My drugs seem to be working. My cancer seems to be stable. We have had a few scares, but, hopefully, the drugs I'm taking will work for several years, and I can stave off the anguish for now.
The rollercoaster is hard. The lack of control is really hard.
The fact that things probably will not get easier with time, is also hard.
Both E and MC emphasized their belief that we need to focus on living in the moment and enjoying all the brachot (blessings) that we have now.
I think it's important to allow ourselves the space to be depressed. My approach is to limit my depression to a day or two (though sometimes it sneaks past the deadline), then to gather up my strength and focus on the positive. What else can we do?
The women in my group are really strong. They are all determined to enjoy life and make the best of a difficult situation. Nonetheless, it is good to have a place where we do not need to be strong all the time.
I did not want to leave the discussion in the middle. So, I stayed almost until the end. Then I rushed off to the Bar Mitzvah.
What a fun Bar Mitzvah!! My friend AK, the mother of the Bar Mitzvah, danced so much! After the meal, she grabbed me to come and dance more!!
I love dancing!! Of course, I am limited, and dance a little like an old lady. I can't jump, hop or twist my hips too much. But I do what I can!!
At one point, I realized we were not enough women to create a sustainable circle. So I went from table to table, announcing: "A wants to dance; we need more women; please come!" Within seconds, we reached "critical mass"! We danced with unbridled ruach (spirit)!
I sort of want to justify my boldness by pointing out that I knew most of the people at this simcha. But, let's be honest, even if I had not, I would have done it anway!
"Come to us for Shabbat," my SIL invited, "You can let me know at the last minute."
That's the right kind of invitation for us!
We went and had a wonderful time! My in-laws were there too.
Hareisha is a very small yishuv, on the apex of a mountain. The kids are totally free there. As we drove up the mountain, we saw a wild boar. A few hundred meters later, we were on top of the mountain, where my nieces were eagerly awaiting our arrival.
The ran to greet us with kisses and hugs! From that moment, our kids were busy with cousins.
I love watching my kids play with their cousins!
I never had cousins, growing up. Both my parents are only children. No aunts. No uncles. No cousins.
I love being an aunt! And I love it that my kids have such wonderful aunts, uncles and cousins.
I have not yet decided if I am a "homeschooler-wannabee" or just a "homeschooler-sympathizer". In either case, If I homeschooled, my kids would definitely be an "unschooled" -- which is why Moshe would never agree to it.
That said, we all look forward to spending our summers together! Up until this year, we also basked in our free time. We slept late in the mornings, stayed out late at night, played with friends, and had a wonderful time.
Last summer, I lost a lot of my summer running around to tests and doctor's appointments, and, eventually, chemotherapy (starting, Thursday, July 26).
Thankfully, my friends, especially IS, really helped make sure that my kids' summer vacation still included many fun activities.
So, it was natural (and more than generous) that IS volunteered to organize transportation and food so that my kids could continue to participate in all our usual fun activities (museums, parks, etc).
At one point, IS mentioned that the outings were different without me. I was sort of surprised. I knew that IS would miss my company (since we both look forward to hanging out and talking all day). But I did not think my kids would really notice my absence. After all, when I'm there, my kids practically ignore me while they play with their friends. It was nice to know that they missed me (in a bittersweet sort of way).
I am glad that I did not know then, that that would be our last free summer together.
This summer, my eldest daughter is busy almost all July. As I mentioned before, she went away the first week of summer vacation for four days and three nights, to a "madatzim" (young leaders) seminar. She came back Wednesday night, bursting with enthusiams and eager to share what she learned!
Next week, she begins a 13 day course to become a "madrichat ezer" (assistant teacher) for her gymnastics chug (class). Even though Y only started gymnastics this past year, she also volunteered as a "mitnassah" (teacher trainee) for the younger kids. She took her volunteer job very seriously, and almost never missed it! Her instructor was so impressed with Y (both by Y's personal improvement and by her commitment and skill as a "mitnassah"), that she strongly recommended that Y take this training course, even though Y is still relatively new to gymnastics and cannot do all the exercises for this level, yet. The training course is a serious and intense course, run by the municipality and the Wingate Institute.
MD also put in a special request this summer: he wanted to learn computer programming. We searched around and found a 2-week program, in the same building as Moshe works!
Only A chose to stay at home! I was so excited to have her to myself!!
Who knew that I would spend the entire week running to the hospital?! Thankfully, one of her good friends is also home, and they spent a lot of time together, including one spontaneous sleepover. At least we have next week together!
So, our family has gone from having all the time in the world, to having to schedule around Y's programs, MD's kaytanah (summer camp), my chemo, and, let's not forget, youth group activities! Y is now in "chagas" (chevraya gimel -- high school age group), which means that she has activities all the time, at all hours of the day and night.
It is a bit frustrating for IS, whose kids are still home and don't go to youth group, so she is still free as a bird! I am grateful that she is so flexible!
Meanwhile, I have mixed feelings.
I loved our summers of uncamping. I loved waking up each morning and deciding what we were going to do. I loved being able to stay out late, and not have to worry about waking up the kids in the morning. I loved being able to just pack up and go, whenever/wherever I wanted.
But I am also proud of the things that my children are choosing to do with their summers.
And I am proud of the independence that they are developing.
Of course, these mixed feeling can hit you in the gut. Like, when I asked Y if she would be joining us for certain activities, and she answered "Sure, if it fits into my schedule."
I took my family to see a local production of the Sound of Music tonight.
I love the music! And the performance was excellent (especially considering that it was amateur theater).
I must admit that, when I was a kid, I was not nearly as offended as I am today over the boy telling the girl "You need someone older and wiser telling you what to do...."
Today I went back to the ENT clinic at Sha'are Zedek.
She says that without this procedure, it can take a MONTH for all the fluid to dissipate and for the pain/pressure/ringing to go away. That is unacceptable to me.
Even though I was impressed with her, I want a senior physician to give an opinion and do the procedure.
On Monday, Dr. S will be there (he saw my ear both on Tuesday and on the follow up visit on Thursday) and there should also be a senior physician.
So, I'm going back tomorrow morning.
This time, I really did promise Y that I would take her to get shoes.
She saw flip-flops for 10 NIS in the mall. I told her we could go get them this week and then I would take her out for lunch.
We were both looking forward to it.
As each day passed, and I was unable to bear the thought of shopping with my ear ache, Y's disappointment grew.
Next week, Y is going away for 4 days to a seminar for "madatzim" (madrichim tz'irim -- young leaders). All year, she had been taking this hadracha (informal education) course for 8th graders who are interested in being madrichim (leaders). At the end of the year, they receive a certificate and have the option of continuing the course at the next level.
Thursday night, we discussed going for shoes on Friday, and it was clear that Y wanted to go, but did not want to count on it.
Unfortunately, there have been several occasions when I told her we would do something (usually involving shopping for something she needs) and then "something came up" and I had to cancel.
My daughter does not ask for much, and she is a tremendous help to me. It makes me sad to constantly dissapoint her.
Friday morning, we both woke up early (for us), but I did not feel up to it. After a nice breakfast together, I had to got lie down. I told Y to wake me up by 1:30, and, hopefully, we could go then.
Thank God, when she woke me up (the third time), I felt like I could manage to take her.
We left the mall. Y was bummed.
I had two ideas for places that we could probably find flip-flops, so the excursion would not be a total wash-up. Y chose to try Bazaar Strauss (a discount store that is really "hit or miss").
Then, we went inside and saw many pairs of nice sandals, on sale, for only 20 NIS! I have NEVER seen sandals that cheap in Israel! Similar sandals sell for 150-300 NIS in some of the boutiques!
I bought her 4 pair!
She now has 2 nice pairs for simchas/shabbat, 1 nice pair for shabbat/school, and a pair for school.
All for less than 100 NIS!
Hopefully, we won't have to go shoe shopping again for a LONG time.
And, since Y, A and I are almost the same shoe sizes, we can share!
MRI -- LONG story! (maybe I'll write about it tomorrow) Short version: still waiting for an earlier appointment.
1. woke up this morning after my first good night's sleep in days; noticed a slight decrease in pain.
2.went to the dentist, to eliminate my teeth as a source of the pain. My teeth are fine.
3. went back to the ENT clinic at SZ for follow up. The doctors noted that there is less pain, less redness & less swelling. I stressed, again, that I am still in significant pain, not to mention the incessant ringing, the relentless pressure, and the pain in my jaw, which makes it painful to talk and eat (two of my most favorite activities!). The very sympathetic and kind doctors again said "those" words: "It takes time. Let's give it a few more days..."
4. I made another follow up appointment for next week.
5. last night I was able to go to sleep without the Percocet (I did take Cod Acamol), and I did not take either of those drugs this morning. (I did continue to suplement the Optalgin with Ibuprofen).
6. the pain is worse now (though not as bad as Sun/Mon). I will take a Percocet soon and go to sleep.
I went to this month's Laughter Workshop and my daughter, A, came with me!
Ear Ache -- AGAIN! STILL? When Will This Be Over??
I thought I was over this part!!
I'm in pain, like there was no yesterday!
Last night, after I posted, I went to bed, and realized the terrible ringing in my ears was still there. But the pain was less, and I was SO confident that I would get a good night's sleep and wake up feeling better.
MY EAR HURTS!! And so does my right JAW!!
I am so sick and tired of this!!
My head feels like it is going to EXPLODE!
Thanks to all those who wrote/called/prayed/etc!
I am (finally!) in less pain, and am hoping that by tomorrow, I really will feel the difference.
I now hear an ocean, more than ringing.
Still, I am going to take a Percocet, to make sure I get some sleep tonight.
The emergency room was quiet, when we arrived, around 6:00 in the morning.
During intake, the triage nurse brought me a Percocet. I don't know if the Percocet made the pain go away, but it certainly made me care less!
The ENT on duty peered into my ear with some really fancy equipment; then he said those infamous words: "keep taking the antibiotics and you should feel better in another day or two."
"I have been taking antibiotics for 48 hours, and the pain is WORSE." I said, in a strong voice, belied by the tears visibly welling in my eyes.
"The senior doctors will be in at 9:00," said the kind, young doctor sympathetically, "You can come back then for another opinion."
I had plenty of time to go to the oncology ward, open my port, and get my blood tests.
We went up to oncology.... apparently the ward opens at 7:30.
There were two chairs in the hallway, outside the locked doors. Moshe and I sat down. I closed my eyes. Between the two and a half hours of sleep and the Percocet, I could have fallen asleep standing up!
At 7:15 my oncologist came strolling down the hallway.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, shocked to find us at the hospital so early in the morning. "I'm glad I got here early," he continued, inviting us into his office.
We had a comprehensive visit. I left with referrals for a CT, a bone scan, and an MRI. My markers are creeping up (more on that another time) and we want to identify what, if anything, is changing.
And then, back to the ENT.
The senior ENT diagnosed an outer ear infection, and prescribed a different set of ear drops. He disagreed with the younger doctor's evaluation that the infection was also in the inner ear, yet suggested that I continue taking the Augmentin (amoxicillin), since I had already started.
"This way, you are covered from all angles," summed up the young doctor. "Come back in two days."
Without further ado, I was dismissed (and discharged).
Alas, my day was far from over.... I returned to the chemo ward, where my day was just beginning!
I am off to the emergency room to see an ENT (ear, nose & throat doctor).
I did not fall asleep until almost two in the morning (maybe later). By 4:30 in the morning, I was awake and unable to fall back asleep. The pain and the ringing is worse. The antibiotics are not working.
I've been on antibiotics for 48 hours. I've been taking a combination of Optalgin, Cod Acamol and Ibuprofen to compat the pain. None of these drugs has alleviated the pain.
I've been in constant and increasing pain for three days and nights.