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Blood and Virus
By Shams Irfan on	 9:29 pm May 10, 2020 Security, Special Report
After the mourners violated the social distancing norms in Sopore, security grid has silently started official burial of the slain militants in Kashmir to avoid larger gatherings, reports Shams Irfan
Riyaz Naikoo delivering a speech in a militant funeral in 2017. KL Image: Bilal Bahadur
On the morning of May 6, after extensive searches using hundreds of men, earthmovers and modern technology, Hizb-ul-Mujahideen Commander Riyaz Naiko was finally located. He was hiding in a house in his native Beighpora village in Pulwama.
Naiko, 35, a mathematics graduate, who taught in a private school, first came to prominence after he took over Hizb's command in late 2016. He joined militancy in 2012 but was little known outside his immediate small group of OGW's.
However, after the killing of Burhan Wani and his immediate successor Yasin Itoo, Naiko was elevated as Hizb's Operational Commander. This helped him consolidate his position among militant ranks immediately. His tenure, however, proved to be difficult as most of the Hizb's top rank was killed in "Operation All-out", leaving the outfit in an existential crisis. Also, Naiko's had to tackle defection of Hizb cadre to other outfits like Zakir Musa led Ansar-Ghazwatul-Hind (AGH) and Islamic State of Jammu and Kashmir (ISJK).
But Naiko shot to prominence when he, along with his deputy Saddam Padder, successfully managed to get a Lashkar-e-Toiba militant Naveed Jatt out of police custody.
After his dramatic escape Jatt posted happily with Naiko, Padder and others in a series of pictures shot somewhere in south Kashmir. This helped Naiko blur the organizational boundaries between Hizb, Lashkar and Jaish cadre.
In September 2018, Naiko masterminded the abduction of eleven policemen. Since then he has been on his toes, as cordon and search operations (CASO) became a new norm in his native village.
On May 6, he was finally killed after a brief gunfight. In the aftermath of Naiko's killing, mobile network and internet services were snapped across Kashmir valley. It was like being transported back to post-August 5, 2019, Kashmir.
The same day two militants were also killed in a gunfight in Shaar-Shaali area of Khrew in Srinagar outskirts.
This made the Coronavirus related lockdown deadliest 45 days in Kashmir in terms of causalities and gun-battles. Also, new tactics and a new set of rules of engagement came into practice in Kashmir's hot turf.
Bloody Start
On March 18, Kashmir reported its first Coronavirus case from old city Srinagar. A complete lockdown was imposed across Jammu and Kashmir on March 23.
Just four days later, first in a series of civilian killings by unidentified gunmen took place in south Kashmir's Kulgam district, took place.
On April 4, first gun-fight under lockdown took place in DH Pora of Kulgam in which four local militants were killed.
Smoke billows out of the house that was damaged in an encounter in which top militant commander Riyaz Naikoo and his associate were killed at Beighpora-Awantipora in south Kashmir's Pulwama district, on Wednesday, May 6, 2020. KL Image by Bilal Bahadur
The same day another gun-battle was underway in Keran sector of Kupwara. It left five militants and five army men dead, marking one of the deadliest encounters since lockdown. Despite a family from Shopian claiming one of the slain militants their kin, they were buried in Baramulla, as was the norm with "unidentified" militants since 2014.
But the next gunfight was about to change the set norms of handling militants and civilians killed during encounters.
On April 8, after 14-hour siege of Arampora village in Sopore, Sajjad Nawab Dar, 23, a local Jaish-e-Mohammad militant was killed in a gun-battle.
Given the strict lockdown measures put in place to fight Coronavirus, Sajjad's body was handed over to his family for a quiet burial. But that didn't happen.
Within no time, mourners from nearby areas started to pour into Saidpora, Sajjad's native village to participate in his funeral. The crowd soon swelled beyond anyone's control.
It was the first major militant funeral since the lockdown came into effect on March 23. There were guidelines in place to maintain social distance as people were advised to stay at home. Mosques across Kashmir were shut to stop congregational prayers. Coronavirus had literally brought life to a standstill.
Still, people in hundreds came out to participate in Sajjad's funeral. The pictures of his body being carried out of his home for burial by hundreds of mourners instantly became viral.
The same evening Sopore police lodged an FIR against those who participated in Sajjad's funeral for 'defying social distancing' rules.
DGP Dilbag Singh receiving the ceremonial guard of honour by a contingent of Armed Police
According to media reports, police maintained that they had sought written surety from Sajjad's family that they will adhere to social distancing norms during funeral and burial. Also, they will not allow a larger gathering of people in any case. But since 2014, militant funerals witness massive outpour of people and emotions, making it difficult for deceased militant's family or his relatives to control.
The same evening, 33 new people tested positive for Coronavirus in Jammu and Kashmir, taking the tally to 158 cases. It was the highest single-day jump since the first case was detected in Srinagar.
A day after Sajjad's funeral, a 65-year-old man from Gund-Jehangir village of Hajin, died of Coronavirus. He became the third person to die of the virus in Kashmir valley.
The days that followed saw a number of villages being declared Red Zones, their entry and exit points sealed with barbed wires, iron poles cast in concrete, and guarded by police and CRPF. People were literally booked for stepping out of their homes. It became an offence to go out.
Once bustling towns and villages instantly fell silent. The world had changed indeed. But what remained unchanged was the sound of guns in Kashmir.
On April 17, two separate encounters took place in Kishtwar and Shopian in which four militants were killed.
Unlike Dachan (Kishtwar) where bodies of two slain militants were handed over to their families for burial, those killed in Shopain were secretly buried at an undisclosed location in Baramulla. This was done despite two families from Shopian claiming the dead militants as their kin. But their claims were not entertained as police didn't reveal identities of the militants. Interestingly, one of the militants killed had made a phone call to his brother before the gun-fight started.
In an ideal situation, such a 'last call' would have been proof enough for the families to claim their kin. But Coronavirus has given officials an option to undertake a bold policy shift.
Army personnel rushing towards site of encounter in at Beighpora area in Pulwama district on Wednesday, May 06, 2020 in which top Hizbul Mujahideen commander, Riyaz Naikoo along with his associate were killed. KL Image By Bilal Bahadur
In pre-Coronavirus days, often senior police officers would take to social media to announce the start of a gun-battle between militants and forces. They would keep people and media updated in regular intervals until the operation would conclude. But it was perhaps massive gathering at Sajjad's funeral that changed the dynamics.
That is why, in case of both Kishtwar and Shopian encounters, only the progress of the gun-battle was updated on police's twitter handle. No other detail was provided.
Only after the encounter was over in Kishtwar, police's official twitter handle announced that the two militants killed there were the same ones who had killed an SPO four days back.
But it said nothing about militants killed in Shopian. Usually, after a gunfight, police would release an official statement listing charges and cases filed against the deceased militants. This too has changed. With a focus on surviving one of the worst pandemics in living history, these changes in tackling militancy went unnoticed largely. The families of militants, who were killed after Sajjad, are not getting the dead bodies of the slain.
The first major policy change in the handling of militant bodies came in 2014 after thousands attended the funeral of Lashkar-e-Toiba Commander Abu Qasim's funeral in Kulgam.
He was the last non-local militant who was buried in a village graveyard by natives. His successors, including Abu Dujana and Naveed Jatt, and all other non-native militants, were since then buried at undisclosed locations in north Kashmir.
However, despite their secret burials, their identifications were never kept secret. Instead, their killings used to be announced enthusiastically by top officials through different social media platforms. It was done in case of Riyaz Naiko whose killing was announced on Twitter by at least two senior cops.
But, in case of all other encounters, the set policy seems to have changed for the time being.
Since Sajjad's funeral, there were eleven gun-battles, one attack and one shoot-out across Kashmir, in which 26 militants and 04 civilians, and 08 members of various counter-insurgent forces were killed.
Apart from Riyaz Naiko, no other militant was officially identified. In all official communications, the deceased were addressed as "unidentified". In some cases these communications maintained: identifications are yet to be ascertained.
Just like Naiko, who is said to be buried in Sonmarg, all other militants and at least three civilians were buried at different locations across Kashmir. But what will happen once the Coronavirus lockdown is lifted?
Is it going to be a long term policy, which a section of right-wing media often demanded, or a mere quick fix to maintain social distance in times of Coronavirus, only time will tell?
As of now, blood and virus seem to follow each other in Kashmir.
Army Coronavirus (Covid-19) Hizb ul Mujahideen Jammu and Kashmir Kashmir epidemics Riyaz Naikoo Special Operations Group (SOG)
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Shams Irfan
A journalist with seven years of working experience in Kashmir.


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Category: World Politics
PR for the Royals.
December 6, 2021 December 5, 2021 by Peter Lowry
Maybe I was in the public relations business at the wrong time. Retiring at the turn of the century, I missed out on the opportunities. There was no denying that the British royalty had to have a renaissance but it was too late for me to get a share of the lolly. There was money to be made by a smart PR person but Buckingham Palace is a tough house to crack.
A good PR program for the palace needed to be two pronged. The royals had to take part of their strategy from the Hollywood fan mill. It would have made good sense to send one of the junior royals to Tinsel-Town to learn how the movie fan-frenzy works. I guess young Harry would do.
You have to admit, the Hollywood fan mill is a grind but it works. Sure, some of the people being promoted might be embarrassed occasionally but Hollywood fans must be some of the most gullible people in the world. The key is that they are just like the people who think being a royal is something special.
And let's give a thought to the awful experience of growing up in a drafty old palace with obsequious servants and cold toast for breakfast. And North Americans would be horrified at sending their children off to what the Brits call public schools. Eton might be hard by Windsor Castle but there is little sympathy from a Queen who had to handle her own hard knocks as a princess for sale to the highest bidder.
Let's face it, the Brit royals have suffered some ups and downs over the years. Thank goodness the Queen is trying to set a record for longevity. Nobody seems to want Charlie on the throne. But the palace is putting it all on King Billy. They have not yet figured out a way to skip a generation.
But the 39-year-old prince is being carefully groomed, just in case. They've enshrined his late mother to more than she would ever have wanted. He is rugged and outdoorsy, the ideal husband and father. He uses the latest technologies as though born to high-tech. He has a beautiful wife and the right number of offspring. Maybe when he and Harry get together, they have a laugh at the whole thing.
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The Bundestag teaches little.
November 30, 2021 November 30, 2021 by Peter Lowry
It came as a surprise the other day when the Toronto Star's opinion writer for the new democratic party, Robin Sears, lauded the German government's electoral system. While the German electoral system does confuse outsiders, it is basically an electoral system known as Mixed Member Proportional. (A similar electoral system was rejected by Ontario voters in a 2007 referendum.) The states in the German federation elect the 299 first-past-the-post members, according to their population and then party lists are used to expand the size of the house according to party vote. (There are 736 members in the current Bundestag.)
What would concern Mr. Sears is recognizing that the Bundestag is a surprisingly conservative organization. It has been under the leadership of either the Christian Democratic or Social Democratic parties for the past 50 years. The fact that no one party has had a majority creates a defferential parliament that caters to economic concerns first.
Instead of complimenting the Bundestag on its progressiveness, Mr. Sears should be aghast that they are only now proposing a minimum wage of the equivalent of $17 per hour. This country of about 80 million has the strongest economy in Europe and $20 per hour or more would be a more realistic level for its minimum wage.
Sears was impressed by the Bundestag version of our throne speech. He thinks the idea of giving all parties copies of the planned government program to study before voting on the specifics makes a lot of sense—and it does.
But what works for another country is not always the ideal solution to our needs. I find the scurrilous name calling and rudeness of our MPs detracts from the respect that our parliament deserves.
But that is a two-way street. I have come to the conclusion that neither Steven Harper nor Justin Trudeau have showed any respect for parliament and that is reflected in how the House behaves. It needs better leadership.
October 5, 2021 October 5, 2021 by Peter Lowry
I have never paid much attention to that young Swedish environmentalist, Greta Thunberg, but she certainly has good writers. The other day there was a clip on the news about her announcing the upcoming world environmental conference in Glasgow. All she said on the clip was: "Blah, blah, blah." And that will likely be the sum of what is to be said.
And why are we wasting our time? We all know that prime minister Justin Trudeau is a hypocrite. He is going to Glasgow on another holiday. He will hob-nob with his betters among the world's elite. He has no meaningful contribution to make.
In the meantime, before heading for Scotland, he has to reconstruct his cabinet. And if Trudeau places gender equality ahead of competency again, we will know, he is a damn fool. Canadians would not care if he had an all-female cabinet, as long as it did its job.
Which reminds me. This is a bit off-topic but I would love to know who is the humourist in the prime minister's office. I was sending some material to the Canadian Radio Television-telecommunications Commission (CRTC) the other day and I looked up the current chair and commissioners to see who I was sending it to. Would you believe that the male chairperson is the typical long-time bureaucrat and all the regional commissioners are women? They are mostly lawyers, of course.
But back to the climate conference. While Mr. Trudeau is in Scotland, might be the right time for cabinet to cancel the twinning of the Trans Mountain pipeline. Just think of the tonnes of carbon that would not be sent off-shore to help destroy our planet. By not sending those millions of barrels of Alberta tar sands bitumen around the world, to be turned into ersatz oil and its by-products, our world might have a few more years of life left to it.
Maybe if Greta Thunberg's writers find out about our prime minister's pet pipeline project, they might get some people to pay attention. Nobody seems to listen to the usual environmentalists.
Keep Enemies Closer.
September 23, 2021 September 22, 2021 by Peter Lowry
A friend was railing against China the other day. His stock broker had suggested that he invest in some Chinese share investment opportunities. He ended up lecturing the poor guy instead of politely saying, 'no thanks.' He had some strong words about the extent the Chinese government and its army get involved in common-stock companies.
In North America, the military-industrial complex might be in cahoots but we do it differently. A good example is the $613 million that Canada has contributed to the Lockheed Martin development of the F-35 fighter aircraft over the past 27 years. The rationale for this is that the ongoing investment entitles companies in Canada to participate in bidding on contracts and maintenance needs for the stealth fighter. To-date, these contracts are believed to be worth over $2 billion to companies located in Canada.
While we would get a discounted price, I can think of no logical reason that Canada would ever want any F-35 fighters. This is a single seat, single engine fighter aircraft that could not fly from a major base in Canada such as Cold Lake in Alberta to Nunavut in the Arctic and back without refueling. And why would we need a stealth fighter to patrol our own airspace?
And besides, we would be very wise to stick with smart diplomacy with the Peoples' Republic of China. We certainly are never going to want to go to war with that country. If Canada was in the middle of a shooting war with China or Russia, all we could do is duck. We could only hope that the Americans had enough anti-missile missiles to shoot down the invading missiles. And we might further hope that the Americans do not shoot down those missiles over our heads.
But it was the stupid Trump government in the United States that helped sour relations for us with the Chinese government. The Chinese neither understand nor care about extradition proceedings. The amount of time that it is taking for the extradition of the Huawei executive is a puzzle to Canadians and an annoyance for the Chinese. Let's hope they don't get too annoyed.
Bring out your dead!
July 22, 2021 July 21, 2021 by Peter Lowry
During Europe's bubonic plagues in the Middle Ages, the tumbrils being hauled down cobblestone laneways were accompanied by calling out: Bring out your dead. And if there was anyone still alive—and capable—they did. It might be the system to bring caution to U.S. states such as Florida.
But stupidity during the 21st century's covid-19 pandemic is not reserved for Florida. It is evident elsewhere. It is evident in states where vaccines are available and underutilized. It is there for people who think they are immune. It is available to the anti-vaxxer—yes, even the most stupid of all. They think they are immune until they catch a variant of the virus and die.
But that is what is stretching the medical resources in some jurisdictions beyond reason. It probably costs less to capture, inoculate and release than to let this species of sub-human cause more death and destruction. Yet, God forgive us, we do not deny them the human right to die. They can drink themselves to death. They can go play on the freeway. They can refuse a vaccine. They think they can jump from tall buildings at a single bound.
There is no criminal law that denies them the right to be ignorant, to follow their own drummer and to piss into the wind.
We have to face the fact that people like to choose their own leaders so that they have someone to blame for their own stupidity.
If they believe that if there really is a pandemic, they probably believe that it has come to cull the herd and that the vaccines will not give anyone herd immunity. They throw themselves at the feet of their God or Donald Trump, whichever is current, and ask for a blessing.
And it is not just Americans who are jerks. Take that guy, who must cut his own hair, who is running things in the United Kingdom. That guy is standing Canute-like and defying the tides of the pandemic. He might yet get to kill more Brits than that fellow Hitler did in a world war. He is standing on the shores of the English Channel, no mask, no restrictions, defying the deadliest variants of covid to do their utmost. It might be best folks to hunker down for a while longer and reject any foreign travel, until all these braggarts are dead.
While the World Burns.
July 6, 2021 July 6, 2021 by Peter Lowry
It's a puzzle that there are so many people who do not care or do not recognize the trouble in which our world struggles. To deny that climate change is happening is ludicrous. To not care is even more serious. There might not be an app for that on their cell phones but caring is a critical step towards possibly alleviating the problems.
Wild fires are destroying the west coast of North America. And those trees are not falling just in the forests. The fires are attacking our towns and homes and businesses. We are just starting to realize the costs of protecting our people.
And the pain is moving across the continent. If you are not being burnt, you are being flooded. The tornado season is extending. The hurricane season is reaching. The long-frozen poles of the earth are melting.
And, oh, what fools we mortals be!
Talk to people and learn. A mother of young children shrugs when asked about her children's future. "That is their problem," is the answer. A young person, tripping on some mind-altering potion, tells you "Who cares?" A politician tells you that only smaller government and lower taxes can help. The homeless person cuts off your concern with "Great, but have you got any spare change?"
We have not even begun to penetrate the conscience of many. They are too busy putting food on the table for their family. They have a plane to catch to take them to a new adventure. They are heading to another protest. There is free meatloaf tonight over at the mission. They have business meetings to attend. Projects need to be completed. There is a new movie to see. There is a new app to try on their phone.
And are we paying blackmail to cyber thieves? Are we too busy pulling down the statues of the past? Are we digging at the graves of those who have already returned to dust?
And all the time, people are crying out for newer and better leadership. Leaders who can respond to 100-year events. We'll do better with the next pandemic?
Oh, will we?
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In the Orthodoxy of the Right.
June 22, 2021 June 21, 2021 by Peter Lowry
Have our politicians really dismissed the orthodoxy of the right? Have we realized the dismal future of countries ruled by the cult of American president Ronald Reagan and British prime minister Margaret Thatcher? It comes as a surprise to those of us that lived through the 1980s of Reagan and Thatcher's reigns that an actor and a chemist could have had the impact they did on economic theory.
Nobody ever accused either leader of deep thinking. Reagan's departure from the White House was accompanied by his mind dipping deeper into the mists of stages of Alzheimer's. Thatcher spent her last years as prime minister fending off revolts from within her own political party. And yet their legacies live after them.
Today, Reagan is still an icon for republicans in the U.S.A. They call it Reaganomics. Many still believe that his slashing of taxes while building up the military was the right approach for the times. All he really accomplished was larger deficits
Thatcher was also a militarist but her tax cuts were less effective and she put too much effort in trying to bend U.K. unions to her will.
Where their economics did not work well was in Canada. While their friend Brian Mulroney was prime minister of Canada for the last half of the 1980s, his regime was reviled and decimated in the liberal return under Jean Chrétien in 1993.
But Reaganomics lived on in Canada under Chrétien's finance minister Paul Martin. Shipping magnate Martin and Chrétien were not friends and the enmity between them sent many mixed messages to Canadians. It was not until Martin got his chance to become prime minister that Canadians could reject him at the polls. It was as though, if you were going to have to conservatives in power, why not opt for the real ones?
Canadians were inflicted with conservative economics for the next twelve years and were offered sunny days again in 2015 by Justin Trudeau and the liberals. They are still waiting for those sunny days to materialize.
Politicizing the Pandemic.
May 15, 2021 May 26, 2021 by Peter Lowry
There is nothing political about the Coronavirus and the pandemic. Each country, in its own manner, has had to deal with the spread of the virus, the sickness and the deaths. Yet it was the politicians, the democratically elected and the dictators, the leaders who showed their stuff. The comparisons were dramatic.
Take China for example, the canary state in our coal mine. The world should have paid more attention to the lock downs, the barriers to travel and the terrible lack of information provided from behind the barricades. Think of the difference if we had understood earlier.
Think of the difference in a country that poses as the heart of democracy such as the United States of America. In the time of the Trump, all we got was denial, ignorance, false info and lethargy. It was an invitation for the deaths of millions. With the arrival of the Biden administration, we saw an America-first attitude for the American-made vaccines.
Great Britain also had locally produced vaccines but also ordered large quantities of other brands in case of production or efficacy problems. That elected leader, so desperately in need of a good barber, did a good job of getting every one to queue up for their shots The Brits are famous for their ability to form an orderly queue.
Canadians, not so much. Our problem was that we had let earlier politicians sell off our vaccine producing company. We had no experienced local supplier. We ordered large quantities from the potential winners—and had no control over their delays in production or export permits.
But Israel also lacked production capabilities. It solved the dilemma by bribing the vaccine supplier—doubling the price. It is too bad Israel's right-wing leader, who might not last as leader much longer, did not share with his neighbours. It would have helped prevent a war.
The time of the pandemic of covid-19 has become a time of tensions, political unrest and discontent. Change is in the air, everywhere.
Do we really understand China?
March 27, 2021 by Peter Lowry
They are known to most Canadians as 'the Two Michaels.' They have been in prison in China since before the pandemic. Michael Kovrig, a former diplomat, and Michael Spavor, a businessman, were arrested in China just days after the RCMP arrested Meng Wanzhou, chief financial officer of Huawei, in Vancouver on a warrant from U.S. authorities. Many Canadians think we should get tougher on China but if we do, we might get both of the Michaels executed.
It all comes down to the quaint Oriental custom of saving face. During the 1970s and early 1980s an interesting aspect of my job with a computer company was hosting delegations from countries around the world. These delegations came to better understand the large-scale computers we were manufacturing in Mississauga at the time. Many of them were from the Peoples' Republic of China.
The Chinese usually came in groups of four or five. It did not take long to figure out who was the party cadre and who were the technical experts. The party person was usually the official interpreter despite some of the technical people being quite fluent in English. When the groups were larger, we would often have an additional interpreter from the Canadian government.
And these visits produced millions of dollars in sales—mainly in support of seismic analysis for China's oil industry. And there was never any direct selling involved. We treated these visits as information exchanges and no sales pressure was used.
As the sales indicated, the technique worked well with the Chinese. I also found that it led to invitations to functions at the Chinese Embassy in Ottawa and when there was an important delegation coming to Toronto.
I remember one time I was at a function in the Royal Bank board room high up in that gold-colored building in downtown Toronto. I was standing looking out a window during a washroom break and the head of the Chinese delegation came over and joined me. He was just as bored with the proceedings as was I. He was quite intrigued as I pointed out the different parts of Toronto around the Hearn Generating Station—with its towering smokestack. He asked about the fact it was not emitting smoke and I explained that it had recently been decommissioned to improve the air quality in the city. He thought that would be a good idea for Beijing. I only mention this because he looked very much like a younger version of Chinese leader Xi Jinping.
Does Singh know why O'Toole's nice to him?
February 15, 2021 by Peter Lowry
It might have been the annual event celebrating Saint Valentine, but Jagmeet Singh of the new democrats should be suspicious of all the cards he received from conservative MPs. The rationale for all this lovey-dovey, kuchi-koo business from the conservatives could only be that they need Jagmeet and his NDP caucus to support them if they call for an election in the spring.
The Bloc Québécois have already blown them off. The Bloc are hardly likely to encourage an election when Trudeau and his liberals are riding high. And that would probably include the greens and independent MPs.
The election, that could happen in June, could be a desperate attempt by conservative leader Erin O'Toole to save his neck and that of his party before the liberals get too high in the polls.
It could happen. Was it not Trudeau who did the end-run and ask his friend Narendra Modi, prime minister of India, to facilitate getting some life-saving vaccines from India? After all, when India needs to vaccinate 1.3 billion people, you can always slip 20 million or so doses to your buddy in Canada.
The Serum Institute in India is already licensed to produce a billion doses of the U.K.'s AstraZeneca vaccine, developed in cooperation with Oxford University. They are committed to use half of those billion doses in India and the other half to be supplied to low-income countries without the funds to acquire vaccines. There are two other vaccine producing operations in India, so, technically, the doses sent to Canada could come from these producers.
The only problem is that the AstraZeneca vaccine has yet to be approved in Canada. What counts most though is the needles in arms in time for an election and the end of these lock-downs.
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Statement by the Permanent Representative of Cyprus
Ambassador Sotos Zackheos
on the occasion of the
50th Anniversary of the Universal Declaration
of Human Rights
It gives me particular pleasure to address this august assembly today, in celebration of the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. A document that we can surely describe as "like no other".
As we approach a new millennium in human history, at the end of a century that has witnessed immeasurable suffering for humanity and two world wars, the Universal Declaration emerges as a guiding beacon for conduct by countries and people in the sacred cause of the respect of human rights and fundamental freedoms.
The Declaration represents the common realization of the peoples of this planet that human rights are paramount, indivisible and universal. It is a yardstick that takes into account the diversity of our world, creating a common denominator that transcends civilizations, cultures and belief systems. This was aptly demonstrated, more than fifty years ago, by the long and arduous efforts of the representatives of the U.N. members in the Third Committee who have devoted eighty-five meetings in the preparation of the Declaration debating every word, phrase, clause and paragraph so as to present a draft that was truly universal in nature.
I take this opportunity to join the Secretary-General of the United Nations in paying tribute to those dedicated people whose relentless efforts have produced this landmark document. I also take this opportunity to bow my head in respectful memory to the countless victims of human rights abuse.
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights established the principle that the protection of human rights is a matter of legitimate international concern. It consolidated the efforts of the international community in creating a comprehensive system whose formidable objective is the safeguarding of the values that inspired the founding fathers of the United Nations: freedom justice and peace in the world.
Since 1948, numerous international and regional human rights instruments have been adopted and tremendous progress has been made towards the achievement of the Declaration's noble aims. The proliferation of human rights instruments that we have witnessed since 1948 and the impressive achievements in mainstreaming human rights in all societies testify to that.
On this world-wide day of celebration let us also join hands in reflection of the half-century since the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. We note with satisfaction that the protection of individual human rights and freedoms has developed in parallel with the progressive development of international law. We are encouraged by the denunciation of the use of force in international relations, the rejection of the practice of occupation of territories and their annexation by the occupying power. We also welcome the increasing insistence of the international community on the right of refugees to return to their homes in full enjoyment of their right to property.
Over the last fifty years, our world has witnessed tremendous changes, from the confrontation of the cold war with its specter of nuclear annihilation and the intense clash of ideologies, to a world where new alliances are being shaped, fueled by the need for economic development in an increasingly interdependent and highly competitive international environment.
The new conflicts have demonstrated that we have a long way to go in order to fully realize the aims of the Declaration. Intolerance whether religious or ethnic has manifested itself in new forms of conflict with such gross violations of human rights that we had hoped would remain buried in the past. These conflicts, fully utilizing the psychology of terror on the civilian population, preeminent among them the abhorrent phenomenon of ethnic cleansing, have presented new challenges in the difficult efforts of the international community to create the conditions for achieving the aim of a better world for all.
In this respect, we welcome the development of international legal instruments whose objective is to enforce humanitarian law and prosecute violators of human rights. We reiterate our support for the speedy establishment of the International Criminal Court and for the efforts to reinforce human rights mechanisms.
As President Clerides stated, Cyprus regards this anniversary with particular significance since the basic human rights and fundamental freedoms of its people continue to be subjected to gross and ruthless violations resulting from the Turkish invasion and the continuing forcible division of our country in flagrant violation of United Nations principles and resolutions.
As a member-state of the United Nations, fully committed to the ideals upon which this organization was founded and to the aims of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, as exemplified by our ratification of all instruments that have flowed from it, Cyprus seizes upon this joyous celebration to reaffirm its staunch commitment to the cause of human rights and to securing the Declaration's objectives. In conclusion, Mr. President, I would like to reiterate our conviction that respect for the rule of law and human rights for all people, regardless of race, religion, language or gender, remain the solid foundation for harmonious relations among states.


Adding to Alchemist's gawdy trophy case, Lindsey followed it up with another Alchemist smackdown at the Boulder Ironman last weekend. She crossed the finish line (in 10:26) as not only the winner of her age group, but the top overall female amateur! For her efforts, she punched her ticket to Kona. We'll be following closely.
On the men's side, first time Ironmen, Dan R. and Stuart, crushed their first Ironmans (Ironmen?) in 11:09 and 12:01, respectively. Great work out there, fellas.
Congrats to all the Ironman competitors. You looked fantastic out there in the Alchemist Triathlon kits.
Lindsey looking fresh after stomping on the competition. All those ladies to her right just got made.
Ironman FB video. You can see our girl coming out of the shoot at around 32:18 into the vid. She's in the Under-1 hour group of fast swimmers.
Dan has had an epic saga just getting to the start line. Once he finally got there, he was a freight train. Nothin gonna stop that man. See his story below. It was featured on Ironman's athlete spotlight. Sweet!
Daniel Ryan, you are an IRONMAN!
Stuart also finished strong at 12 hours in his first Ironman. He lost so much weight, his shorts looked like baggies by the time he crossed the finish line. Time to go bulk up, Disco!
Disco and his lovely wife and support crew.
Yes, he looked this happy the whole time.
Congrats to all the Ironman competitors. Makin us proud.
Mtb results and podiums to come in the next post. Stay tuned.
Dang Lindsey! Congratulations you crazy Christmas living freak!


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The rise and fall of Leticia
"Good help is so hard to find" is the truest sentence I've ever heard.
I spent 5 1/2 years of my life networking, recruiting, interviewing, training, and losing dozens and dozens of people who help with Dovi.
There were com hab girls, respite families, volunteers, behavior trainers, camp counselors, and then of course, the Home Health Aides.
I briefly wrote about the process to get Dovi qualified for a homecare worker, and the first 2 aides who walked in and out of my life, Danuta and Yvonne. (I still wonder to this day what became of her and from time to time I look up her daughters on Facebook hoping to catch a glimpse of her whereabouts.)
After that, the agency sent Leticia, who at first seemed to be a lifesaver but soon turned into a nightmare.
I also learned that there's no such thing as a perfect homecare worker. You have to overlook a lot of things, but you also can't let yourself be stepped on. I was so afraid to let her go, and was terrified of change and of going through rosters of new people before we find someone good. It would take another long-term aide and another agency for me to finally find an excellent agency who always had a roster of great aides available and provided fantastic service. I just did not get good service from this first agency, and if a problem crept up with Leticia, I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to.
But I'm getting very ahead of myself. Let's draw back the curtain and delve into this.
When Leticia first started, she was a breath of fresh air. She took wonderful care of Dovi, cleaned up after him, and kept to herself. After the disaster that was Danuta, Leticia was exactly what we needed. But after two weeks or so, she started getting a bit lazy. She would walk through the door, sit down with her phone, and needed to be cajoled to do anything. At that point Dovi was at a com-hab worker every day until 6 pm, and although Leticia's job officially began at 5, I asked her to come at 5:30 because it felt a little bizarre for met to watch her sit around and do nothing until Dovi came home. Occasionally she swept up a bit here and there, and maybe straightened up his room, but she wasn't the type of person to look around for extra work. I knew the rules clearly: her job was only to clean up after Dovi and help me with him. Unlike many other people, who use the HHA as cleaning help and personal assistant, I never asked her to do any extra work, ever. But she rarely showed up at 5:30; it was usually more like 5:55, and there were a handful of times that Dovi arrived home before she came. She had a long train ride, and had to drop off her children with her grandmother first, so she sometimes ended up running late.
Then Dovi would come home around 6:00, and Leticia would feed him supper and put him in the bath. Between supper and bathtime, she usually put on a video for him and sat quietly next to him while surfing her phone. She didn't interact much with him. It was a bit upsetting.
My husband usually came home from work shortly before 7:00, and he would take over from there; he would put Dovi in pajamas, give him his meds and put him into bed. Then Leticia would grab a broom and tidy up quickly, and by 7:05 she was out the door. She was taking a nursing course and had to be in night school at 7:30, so she could never hang around a minute longer. She never wanted to work any extra hours, ever - not that I even tried to ask her, because she was a single mother of 2 small children and wasn't available for extra hours. She never clocked in or out, never asked me to sign time sheets, and never explained why. (I think she signed them herself...) So basically, although her job was from 5-8, she was there for exactly one hour, and did almost nothing.
But it was another human being in the house helping me, and it was a relief.
After 3 months with Leticia we went up to the country for the summer, and I briefly considered whether I should let her go and get someone else - I knew we could do so much better. But after hearing so many horror stories from other mothers of having aides who never showed up, were downright abusive, or did nothing, I knew I couldn't really afford to be choosy. I also have a very, very hard time firing staff; I hate confrontation and find it hard to speak up and make my needs known, and I very often end up being strung along until things reach explosion levels.
When we came home after the summer, Dovi was delighted to her and ran to her for a hug. It seemed we were back on solid footing and Leticia would be our family's lifesaver.
But very soon, it started to deteriorate rapidly.
For starters, Leticia and I have very different personalities and we would rub each other the wrong way. I have a difficult time taking criticism, and I didn't like when she tried to tell me how to parent. She also had a way of talking that made every single thing she said, sound accusatory and argumentative. Then she would get sulky and defensive, and turn things around to make me sound bad. It was very difficult to deal with. She was very rigid about her hours and was very reluctant to make changes, which is a huge problem with a child like Dovi who has an erratic school schedule, coupled with the Jewish calendar. All of the later aides were way more flexible and tried their utmost to accommodate me, but Leticia wouldn't budge.
For example, on Labor Day I asked her to come a bit earlier since Dovi had no school all day and it would be tough to wait until she waltzed in at 6 p.m. I asked her if she could try to be prompt and be there by 5. At 5:00 she hadn't shown yet and I texted her to find out if she was on her way. No, she had just dropped off her kids and was getting on the train now. I was extremely disappointed and let her know that I was frustrated, because I had been counting on her, especially on a long day with no school. She retorted that it was a holiday, and she really shouldn't be working at all, and I would never work on my holidays! Um, the two don't compare; Labor Day is not a religious holiday -- I could not work on Jewish holidays due to religious restrictions -- and if she'd wanted to the day off, I could've asked for a replacement! Her need to always be right, and never concede she was wrong, drove me crazy. Of course *I* ended up apologizing to her....
Yom Kippur was the first time I really felt how great it was to have an aide. I asked her to come in the morning instead of evening, and she came indeed - for two whole hours. She turned on Dovi's DVD, and I was able to daven a bit. Then she left, and I was left to entertain Dovi for another 6 hours while I was fasting.
(In later years when I merited to have some really incredible aides who went above and beyond their duties and spent 10 hours with us on Shabbos and holidays I couldn't think back how I had managed all those Shabbosos and holidays, such as Yom Kippur, without any help or just 2 hours of help. Having access to his favorite DVDs all day was really the only way I could survive.)
Things started turning pretty bad between us once I was pregnant. I had no energy and did very little around the house. I had not yet told Leticia about it, and Dovi had started becoming a lot messier, and instead of stepping up and helping me manage the messes, she instead kept lecturing me about how I was letting Dovi get away with everything and that I was expecting her to do my job. I had no patience for any of this. Her job was not to teach me how to parent Dovi; her job was to help me with him. It was not her place, and it was getting under my skin.
After Hurricane Sandy, when I was in the middle of running back and forth to the doctor for my infertility treatment, the ABA Center and I decided it was time to start toilet training Dovi. Naturally, I had to do some crazy things like give him a ton of snacks in the bathroom to keep him seated on the toilet. He ended up making a big mess and Leticia blew her top. Instead of assisting me in the project of toilet training, she berated me for letting him make a mess and refusing to clean it up. It was disturbing.
As Dovi started making bigger and bigger messes, and I had less and less energy due to the first trimester of pregnancy, Leticia would often walk through the house at 5:55 pm, look at the mess in horror, and ask me how I was planning to manage with another baby. I retorted, "Maybe I'll actually get an aide who doesn't mind cleaning up!" (Ironically, it would take 3 years and 3 aides post Leticia finally find someone who kept up with Dovi's breakneck speed and cleaned up before and after him, only four months before he left home....)
When I had the unfortunate CPS case, I was really scared that Leticia would tell the caseworker some half-truths about my ability manage Dovi. Thankfully, she kept quiet, relieved that no one was pointing any fingers at her, either. However, I always felt a little anxious in Leticia's presence, and a large part of my reluctance to let her go, even when I felt her presence was becoming toxic, was an unfounded fear of her making accusations against me and causing me trouble. But the actual truth is that Leticia is a very nice and well-meaning person, whose personality and attitude just didn't jive with mine. In a perfect world, I would've called up the agency as soon as I had a handful of annoying incidents and asked for a new aide. But I had no relationship with Ophelia, and I didn't feel that Leticia's behavior warranted being removed from the case. She hadn't done anything egregious; we just didn't get along.
Shortly before Pesach Dovi came down with fever, which immediately made me feel a little panicked. I was still recovering from my brush with the CPS and was very anxious to see Dovi feel better. He was sick on Wednesday and Thursday; on Friday Leticia had a long in-service that lasted all day and she called to ask if she could cancel. I was adamant that she come, even for an hour, just to give us a bit of a break. She was very miffed about it, and when she showed up, she refused to bathe Dovi, saying she will not put a child with fever in the bath. Ironically I was pretty sure Dovi had caught his cold from her, but I wouldn't tell her that. She left in a huff after half an hour, and I had a bad feeling. Monday was Erev Pesach, so I asked Leticia to come at midday instead of her usual evening time. She replied that it was no use coming if Dovi was still sick - which he was - because, according to her, she'd have to report to her supervisor that the patient was already on his sixth day of fever. If she didn't come, well, then she didn't have to report anything...
The word "report" triggered a strong wave of anxiety inside of me and I gave her the day off. I felt she was manipulating me, knowing how afraid I was of the mix of agencies, Dovi's health, my own confidence in my parenting abilities, etc. We somehow muddled through that Erev Pesach day. She did come during Pesach, but I was already starting to feel a strong wave of resentment towards Leticia. It was a potent mix of pregnancy hormones, a personality clash, and the feeling that our needs were really not being met and her heart was really not in this job at all.
On Fridays Dovi only had school from 9 to 11:45. His therapist had to run and catch her bus to Monsey, so we asked Leticia to come from 11:45 - 1:45, pick up Dovi, bring him home, and stay with us until my husband came home from work. Half the time she was still on the city bus or train when Dovi's therapist called me desperately that she needed to run and catch her bus. I would end up dashing out of the house and rushing to pick him up. Sometimes she came so late on Friday that my husband was already on his way home from work and it was a complete waste that she had even gotten on the train to be at my house for less than an hour. I know that commutes can be vexing and things can be out of a person's control, but it was happening too frequently. Yet, I had no one to complain to.
The Friday before Memorial Day weekend, she informed us that she wouldn't be able to come on Monday or Tuesday, because she had to redo her physical exam and there would be no doctor available until Tuesday. I am pretty sure this is not true; there are certainly doctors who have office hours on Sundays or legal holidays, but putting that aside, why did she have to wait until that particular weekend to do her physical? She probably wanted to have a break from work... In later years, we would have never stood for it -- I would've requested a replacement, or even paid for her out of my own pocket just so that she could come. But when it came to Leticia, we never pressured her into anything - she was too strong-minded. So my husband and I worked really hard those 2 days, and admitted to ourselves that for all her faults, having an aide at bedtime was crucial to our ability to handle Dovi.
One of my biggest weaknesses when it came to raising Dovi, was letting him get away with almost anything. It is a personality flaw I readily admit to when it comes to parenting and self control, and it's a lifetime of work for me to break through. When Dovi came home from com hab, he would head immediately for the freezer, and I would let him have popsicles and ice cream. Leticia was very upset about that, and she claimed - rightfully so - that it impeded his ability to eat nutritious food afterwards. She asked me why I didn't give him soup... or fruit... I retorted that he didn't like soup, or most fruits, and he likes ice cream so I let him have it. Part of the problem was that she would sit mostly glued to her phone, often with earbuds in her ears, and Dovi knew to come to me for snacks and goodies, because I readily dispensed them. And then she would get upset, saying she can't bathe him / manage him if he's hyped up on sugar. Even if her claims had merit, it was hard to take her seriously when she was not paying him much attention but sat around with earphones jammed in her ears and her eyes glued to the phone while she let him run around helter skelter, and only woke up from her stupor when it was time to give Dovi his dinner and his bath. It seemed that she wanted to be in charge and had a hard time taking directives from me.
About a month before Dovi left for camp, I was informed that Dovi's Sunday program, which had been my lifesaver for 1 1/2 years, would not take him back the coming year. (I will discuss this in detail in the next post.) I got the phone call on a very difficult day, when I was in the middle of dealing with other crises. When Leticia showed up, I was in a bad state and very frazzled. I told her what was happening, and to my surprise, she had no sympathy to spare.
"You want us to do your job. You're the mom! We're not here to do your job! Where I live, no one has this kind of help!" and she went on and on how I was relying so much on other people to take care of Dovi, and I would just have to buck up and take care of him, and that's it.
I was really stunned.
It was really not her place to give me that kind of lecture. She had absolutely no idea what it was like to raise a child like Dovi. Even though she was in my house every day, she still had no idea. She was criticizing my every move, lecturing me on how to discipline him, and now, she was rolling her eyes at the way I was freaking out over losing a very important respite program.
"What are you gonna do when he gets older and stronger? He's only gonna get bigger! And what are you gonna do when you have the new baby?" and on and on and on. I bit my lip and did not tell her the truth: that Dovi would likely not be living at home anymore when he was older, bigger, and stronger. I could only imagine the long string of exclamations she would make once she heard that.
Once when Chaim, who was 7 1/2 years old at the time, was being extra special fresh and difficult, I noticed her trying hard to contain her opinions over how I was dealing with him. When he left the room, I commented in jest that she would probably give her own son a round spanking over that kind of behavior. She laughed at the truth of the joke. I had overheard her disciplining her son over the phone and felt sorry for him. Obviously, she and I had very different ideas of how to raise children.
Dovi had started really increasing the mess in the house; he had taken to shredding paper, spilling snacks and pulverizing them, and smearing ice cream around. It was hard for me to bend down and I was so tired all the time that I stopped cleaning up and waited for my cleaning help or my husband to do it. Whenever Leticia walked through the door and commented on how messy it was and I gently asked her why she didn't want to clean it up, her response was, "Well, I don't know which part of the mess is Dovi's and which was made by your older son, and besides, I only have to clean up what he does while I'm here, not what he does before I come."
The straw that broke the camel's back came on May 29, about six weeks before Dovi went to camp.
By then I was starting to strongly consider not taking her back after the summer. With a new baby coming, I needed way more than the one hour a day she reluctantly came to my house. At some point a few weeks earlier, she'd mentioned that she was considering taking a different job for the coming year, with more hours. I was pretty incredulous and asked her why she wanted to work more hours when she barely wanted to do one hour in my house? I think her response was that she wanted to do a morning job the next year; it worked better with her kids' school schedule. Inside, I rejoiced. I was afraid of 'firing' her, but I knew I would be delighted if she left of her own accord.
I was, at that point, almost 8 months pregnant, clumsy and exhausted. Wednesdays were the hardest; I hit the ground running at 11 a.m., going for my therapy appointment, grocery shopping, errands, and arriving home exhausted. I sat around for most of the day like a beached whale. I had low iron and very little energy. On that particular day I was busy filling out endless reams of paperwork for camp, and I had to go to the social security office the next day for an annual review, so I was frantically running around trying to find all the missing paperwork. That morning Dovi had gotten up at the crack of dawn. In an attempt to keep him from rattling around in his bed trying to find a way to get out, my husband put a few slices of bread and a few carob rice cakes into Dovi's bed so he would keep occupied. The bed was full of the leftovers of that morning's feast; I hadn't yet cleaned it up. By the time Dovi came home from com hab, I was sitting on the couch trying to catch my breath. The grocery order sat in boxes, waiting to be unpacked.
And then the crud hit the fan.
Dovi loves water - anything liquid really. Flooded sinks and bathtubs were frequent occurrences; spilled bottles were the norm. Dovi had gotten so strong he could open closed bottles. While Leticia was running Dovi's bath, he took out a bottle of ginger ale soda from the grocery order, pried it open, spilled it on the floor, and began swimming in it and lapping it up like a dog.
Leticia walked into the living room where I was spread out on the couch, her picture a face of deceptive innocence.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked.
"Sure," I replied.
"What do you do all day?"
I was stupefied.
"What do you mean what I do all day? I run errands, go to appointments, cook dinner..." It sounded lame, and I felt flushed. What was she insinuating?
"Why couldn't you unpack the groceries before I came? I really can't work like this."
She was right. I probably should have put away the bottles of soda and other things that Dovi could potentially mess up. But she was blowing this out of propotion.
"Leticia, you're aware that I'm 8 months pregnant, right? I don't have a lot of energy."
She sneered in contempt. "I"ve been pregnant twice myself. You're not disabled. You should be able to do some housework! Did you see what Dovi's bed looks like? I am not cleaning that up!"
I leaped off the couch clumsily, my blood boiling. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Leticia, you were seventeen years old when you were pregnant! You were not thirty-seven years old, and you were not dealing with a hyperactive autistic child then!" I was shaking. "You should know, I've really had it with your attitude and I won't stand for this anymore. You're constantly telling me how I should do things. I'm not interested in having someone here to restructure how I do things and tell me how to run my life!" I was really angry.
"I'm here to help you and you're not interestd in my help! You tell me that I have attitude? You're giving me attitude! I will not be disrespected! I'm going to report this to my supervisor! I cannot work like this!"
The minute she said the word report, she triggered a hyper-anxious reaction in me. I ran to my room and curled up in a fetal position, crying hysterically. I felt so stuck. Now I certainly couldn't fire Leticia -- now she was bound to sit down with her supervisor and twist everything around to make me look bad, and I would have no recourse, as I had never had a conversation with Ophelia about how I wasn't getting along with Leticia. And irrationally I was also afraid of how I would manage if she indeed left us suddenly. As terrible as her attitude towards me was, being left without an aide even for one evening was disastrous. I could not longer physically handle Dovi at all in this stage of pregnancy.
When my husband arrived home he was shocked at what he found. Leticia went on a tirade at how I had disrespected her and given her attitude and so on. How ironic is that? I was disrespecting her?
May I add that Leticia was all of 29 years old? Ever heard of respecting your elders and getting along with your boss?
This relationship had gotten toxic. And I didn't know what to do. And I was also scared of her.
Of course, before Leticia left I apologized to her and asked her meekly if she was coming tomorrow. She murmured that she had to speak to Ophelia about this, but she probably would still come. After she left I was still shaking.
I called my friend Tova, who also had an aide from the same agency. She was horrified by my story and told me that I did not have to stand for this kind of emotionally abusive treatment. But, I asked, how could I have Leticia replaced when I had no relationship with Ophelia?
Tova told me of a wonderful Jewish man named Solomon who worked at the agency and had been instrumental in getting her a fantastic aide after a few really bad matches. She told me to call him; he would hear me out and really try to accommodate me.
I also called my sister for advice, but she had a busy night and told me to call her in the morning.
The next morning while I was sitting at the Social Security office for hours (I was eventually sent home and told to come back at a different date...) I had time for a lengthy conversation with my sister. My sister is bli ayin hora a wonderful person who is very centered and smart and always seems to hit the perfect response whenever I reach out to her. This time, to my shock, she kind of took Leticia's side.
She tried to paint a picture for me what it was like to work at my house. The chaos, the mess, my inability to cooperate to try to change things. I am who I am, yes, but if this is how I operate, and she cannot work in these conditions, this job was not for her.
Of course, my sister did not think that the way Leticia had spoken to me was acceptable or respectable - at all. But I had to think long and hard how any of my future helpers would last in my house if I kept letting Dovi have junk food and ice cream, which made him hyperactive and difficult to control.
It was a hard pill to swallow. Being strong and disciplining Dovi was my weakest spot and I just could not do it.
The bottom line, however, was that Leticia had to go.
But not yet. There were five weeks to go until camp, and there was no point now in stirring the pot, creating more conflict, and then trying out a dozen different aides who would not know how to handle Dovi, only to get someone new for September. My sister advised me to ride it out until Dovi left for camp, and be cordial and stay out of Leticia's way for the duration, and deal with getting a replacement over the summer.
Sound advice.
I composed a text to Leticia. I apologized for blowing my top the night before, and admitted that I have a weakness when it comes to imposing limits. Therefore, I think the best way for us to be able to work together, is for me to leave the room when Dovi comes home, and let her take over. She should feed him and play with him and I won't be present, since I know I won't be able to refrain from indulging him with junk food. She accepted my apology, never reported the incident to the agency, and we kept out of each other's hair for the rest of her time with us. I let her be in charge, and hovered around the periphery without issuing too many directives. It was very challenging, because Dovi kept coming to me and dragging me to the freezer or the pantry in search for his favorite snacks. But somehow we pushed it through.
I learned some very difficult lessons during our experience with Leticia. I still had not learned how to be assertive and firm, and how to let go of workers who were not doing their job. It is a skill I have still not fully mastered. I stayed with subsequent aides who were not ideal and a cleaning lady who stole money from me, without having the courage to get rid of them.
But... as with all the events in my life, especially when it came to Dovi, events that seemed truly terrible turned out to be a blessing in disguise. This blow-up with Leticia had to happen so that there would be a final nail in the coffin. I didn't begin to dream just how much help I would need with Dovi after baby Levi's birth. The best thing in our life would walk through the door in September, and she would keep us sane for the next three years.
But if I thought I was done with drama and heartache in that short month until Dovi went to camp, I was sorely mistaken. My world would yet be shaken up in ways I could not begin to imagine, and it would set the path for the eventual climax of the journey with Dovi.
Thanks for posting two this week! I eagerly await each new episode!!
Carlee October 22, 2017 at 3:49 PM
Leticia had a point — you have no interest in parenting your kids, least of all the autistic one.
A stay at home mom who can't be bothered to unload groceries?
Watch one kid while the older one was at school?
Seriously... why did you have kids? Why do you think you're entitled to STAFF paid for by the STATE?
Why keep having kids if you're happy to ship them off to institutional care?!
Miriam the Mommy October 23, 2017 at 1:40 AM
@Carlee -
One of the things this blog has taught me is how little I can judge anyone else's situation or challenges. I cannot fathom what the author's life was like, but reading this blog and other things she's written has at least given me enough to know I cannot judge the situation! I cannot fathom the constant adrenaline levels necessary to supervise such a child, and remember, after adrenaline comes a crushing fatigue. I know enough to know I cannot judge the author. I also know there is undoubtedly more to any story than you can glean from a blog.
Dovi's Mom October 23, 2017 at 5:44 AM
Thank you miriam.
My initial reaction to that comment - after the initial shock and anger and bruise to my self esteem - was to sarcastically retort, "You're right! Indeed, we have not had any more kids since then!"
However, the one thing that really surprised me was Carlee's statement that I was 'happy to ship them off to institutional care.' Show me ONE place in this entire blog where I am remotely 'happy' about having to place Dovi. Not only won't you find happy, you won't even find 'okay with it'. If anyone has spent five minutes reading the blog, they will see that the decision to place Dovi came after weeks and months and years of fighting against it tooth and nail, and with tears and therapy and a lot of outside pressure. No mother is 'happy' when their severely autistic child needs to be placed. Ultimately it was for Dovi's benefit, as his quality of life is way better in a setting where he has a staff of hundreds at his beck and call, where every behavior is documented and addressed, and where he can learn life skills he just can't learn at home. Yes, I'm happy - happy that he is thriving in his new place and not miserable there. I'm happy he's being cared for by wonderful people, who actually care about Dovi, unlike most of the aides who worked here over the years.
As for getting 'staff paid for by the state' - Dovi is clearly a very disabled individual, and disabled individuals are eligible to get homecare workers. This is not some new, earth shattering revelation. Com Hab workers, respite workers, homecare workers all exist for a reason and are funded for a reason.
The only person who can truly understand the extreme challenges of parenting a child with severe behavior issues is someone who is a parent of a severely autistic child herself. I don't expect anyone else to understand. But I do expect them to be respectful, and not making scathing, cutting comments on these entries, where I pour out my heart and soul, make myself vulnerable, and am brutally honest about my personal shortcomings.
Comments like these make me consider stopping to write. They are not fun.
anon October 23, 2017 at 6:13 AM
Is your blog open to the public or can you block people like Carlee who is vicious and judgmental? Carlee, you are cruel.
Dovi's Mom October 28, 2017 at 8:42 PM
Blog is open to the public . and I have no idea who Carlee is, she posted anonymously and I dont have her IP address. it's ok. I dont take it personally. I was really shocked.
Three Cheers for Camp!


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Q: Converting date to timestamp with timezone in Java I have a PostgreSQL database with a column defined as timestamp
I am receiving the date with timezone format yyyy-MM-ddTHH:mm:ss.SSSX", for example 2020-12-16T15:05:26.507Z. If I want to insert this into a column with timestamp it will throw "Timestamp format must be yyyy-mm-dd hh:mm:ss"
I am doing
Timestamp.valueOf("2020-12-16T15:05:26.507")

Now the timezone date comes from a JSON, so I am taking it as a string string for now.
How do I go about converting this to simple Timestamp format? to 2020-12-16 15:05:26

A: The following table summarizes the PostgreSQL column type mapping with Java SE 8 date-time types:
--------------------------------------------------
PostgreSQL                          Java SE 8
==================================================
DATE                                LocalDate
--------------------------------------------------
TIME [ WITHOUT TIMEZONE ]           LocalTime
--------------------------------------------------
TIMESTAMP [ WITHOUT TIMEZONE ]      LocalDateTime
--------------------------------------------------
TIMESTAMP WITH TIMEZONE             OffsetDateTime
--------------------------------------------------

Note that ZonedDateTime, Instant and OffsetTime / TIME [ WITHOUT TIMEZONE ] are not supported. Also, note that all OffsetDateTime instances will have to be in UTC (which has a time zone offset of +00:00 hours). This is because the backend stores them as UTC.
Thus, there are two options.
Option - 1 (Recommended):
Change the column type to TIMESTAMP WITH TIMEZONE. This is recommended because your date-time string has Z which stands for Zulu date-time or UTC date-time. Using OffsetDateTime, you can parse this date-time string without requiring any DateTimeFormatter explicitly.
Demo:
import java.time.OffsetDateTime;

public class Main {
    public static void main(String[] args) {
        OffsetDateTime odt = OffsetDateTime.parse("2020-12-16T15:05:26.507Z");
        System.out.println(odt);
    }
}

Output:
2020-12-16T15:05:26.507Z

Given below is an example of how to use this OffsetDateTime for DB CRUD operations:
OffsetDateTime odt = OffsetDateTime.parse("2020-12-16T15:05:26.507Z");
PreparedStatement st = conn.prepareStatement("INSERT INTO mytable (columnfoo) VALUES (?)");
st.setObject(1, odt);
st.executeUpdate();
st.close();

Option - 2:
If you still want to keep the column type as TIMESTAMP [ WITHOUT TIMEZONE ], you can get the LocalDateTime from OffsetDateTime and use the same as shown below:
OffsetDateTime odt = OffsetDateTime.parse("2020-12-16T15:05:26.507Z");
LocalDateTime ldt = odt.toLocalDateTime();
PreparedStatement st = conn.prepareStatement("INSERT INTO mytable (columnfoo) VALUES (?)");
st.setObject(1, ldt);
st.executeUpdate();
st.close();

A: Two suggestions:

*

*Since the string you receive contains a UTC indicator (Z), save the time in UTC to your database. If you're allowed to, change the datatype in the PostgreSQL database to timestamp with time zone for this purpose.

*Use java.time, the modern Java date and time API. Don't save the date and time neither as a Timestamp nor as a String to the database. The java.sql.Timestamp class is poorly designed, a true hack on top of the already poorly designed java.util.Date class, and is long outdated.

The string you got from JSON is in ISO 8601 format. This is great because it's an international standard and because the classes of java.time generally parse ISO 8601 format natively, that is, without any explicit formatter. To parse it:
    String fromJson = "2020-12-16T15:05:26.507Z";
    OffsetDateTime dateTime = OffsetDateTime.parse(fromJson);
    System.out.println(dateTime);

Output so far:

2020-12-16T15:05:26.507Z

OffsetDateTime also prints ISO 8601 format back. To insert into Postgress:
    String sql = "insert into your_table(your_timestamp_with_time_zone_col)"
            + " values(?);";
    PreparedStatement ps = yourDatabaseConnection.prepareStatement(sql);
    ps.setObject(1, dateTime);
    int rowsInserted = ps.executeUpdate();

If you cannot change the datatype in the database, you need to insert a LocalDateTime into your timestamp (without time zone) column instead:
    LocalDateTime dateTime = OffsetDateTime.parse(fromJson)
            .atZoneSameInstant(ZoneOffset.UTC)
            .toLocalDateTime();

    String sql = "insert into your_table(your_timestamp_col) values(?);";

The rest is the same as before.
I opted to convert to UTC in case. In your example the string was already in UTC, so the conversion was a no-operation; but it may not always be, so it's better to do this.
Link
Oracle tutorial: Date Time explaining how to use java.time.

A: I think you can use another API of Timestamp

static Timestamp  valueOf(LocalDateTime dateTime)

and change your code to:
    LocalDateTime localDateTime = LocalDateTime.parse("2020-12-16T15:05:26.507");
    Timestamp.valueOf(localDateTime);

And if you want to use a different timezone other than your system timezone, you can also use: ZonedDateTime
Then use ZonedDateTime to get the localDateTime, and pass it to Timestamp.valueOf().

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