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-Farm Advice & Services
HomeFarm Advice & ServicesLatest Ruralco NewsLatest News
A continuous sense of learning and a desire to make a difference
Bailey Kris Kris | 0 Comments | Return
After a lifetime working in countless different facets of the agricultural sector including not-for-profit, central, and local government, co-operatives and commercial business, Jessie Chan is excited about her new role as Chair of Ruralco.
It's been a long, winding journey for the mum of two young sons, Adam, 7, and Noah, 2, who farms in partnership with her business-partner Hayden Dorman on a 420-hectare property at Dorie in Mid-Canterbury, milking 900 cows.
Jessie's the first to admit that it's not the path she imagined for herself when she had her first taste of the agricultural sector as a 17-year-old working for the Dairy Research Institute, now Fonterra Research Institute. But it's her continuous sense of learning, driven by an innate sense of curiosity, together with a passion for making a meaningful contribution to rural communities, that continues to empower her.
Jessie grew up in Palmerston North, one of four children. Raised by her father, although she did not grow up on a farm, she developed a love of agriculture and the primary sector. Her father also instilled the importance of education. Jessie left school at 16 but was determined to go to university. "I had always had an interest in science, in particular biological science."
Having worked as a Lab Technician at the Dairy Research Institute working in product development, Jessie put herself through university, completing an Honours degree from Massey University in Animal Science Majoring in Ruminant Nutrition.
Fresh out of university, Jessie worked as a Technical Advisor for the Ministry of Agriculture (MAF) doing live animal export and imports, followed by stints with Meat and Wool New Zealand [now Beef & Lamb New Zealand] as a Research and Development Portfolio Manager, and as a Dairy Policy Analyst for Federated Farmers, amongst other roles.
Jessie gained invaluable skills and exposure across all these roles, but especially through her time with Federated Farmers. "I learnt a lot about farming, and I mixed with farmers from all around the country. It taught me a lot about communicating clearly, and keeping it simple, being concise and effective. And how to work with people to get a win-win."
It was while Jessie was provincial president of the Wellington Young Farmers' Club that she met Hayden Dorman, who was then Chairman of Tasman Young Farmers. It proved to be the turning point in her career taking her back to grassroots.
Embarking on a new journey together, they decided to move south to Canterbury and take up a lower-order share-milker position at Dorie, on the south side of the Rakaia River. Coming from a corporate background, it was Jessie's first exposure to rural life.
Playing to each other's strengths, Hayden was hands-on with the cows, leaving Jessie to focus on the accounts, HR, compliance, environmental issues, and governance. "He's the cowman. And he's good at it," says Jessie. "I self-confess, I don't milk cows, because I am not very good at it."
Working their way up from the bottom, growing their equity, skills, and knowledge they took the next step, purchasing 800 cows. After two years of herd ownership, the farm was sold to Italian buyers and they were offered the chance to lease. "It works really well. We run it as if it were our own," says Jessie.
Before the sale, the farm was run as two units carrying 1,700 cows. In a bid to future-proof themselves against future downturns and to lower their farming footprint, they opted to move to a self-contained system including split calving and winter milking, reducing numbers to 900 pedigree Holstein Friesian and some pedigree Jersey cows. They also grow 70 hectares of crop to feed their cows, drystock and young stock.
While continuing to run the farm in partnership with Hayden, Jessie explored opportunities where she could give back to the agricultural industry. From the variety of roles she had experienced earlier in her career, she gained invaluable insight into how a variety of organisations work and what drives them.
During her 20s Jessie had numerous jobs. At the time she was concerned it was a negative, but looking back the journey of discovery was pivotal. "During that time I discovered governance was one area I was good at and could add value in terms of running a business, understanding risk, financial acumen, legal obligations, strategic thinking and how to go about building a team of people to make that happen."
Determined to make a difference, Jessie is not afraid to make the tough decisions. "You have to own it. Taking ownership is something that I was taught as a child. With governance, it's on you. As a director, I am responsible for the decisions we make around the board table. I cannot point the finger at anyone else. I like that side of it."
Having developed a sound understanding of people dynamics, Jessie's come to realise that everyone has a story. "People's life experiences are all different. Everybody is an individual. You need to take the time to understand people. Once you can understand that you get better outcomes. It all comes back to people."
The move to rural Mid Canterbury, coupled with grassroots experience provided the perfect springboard for her career into governance. "It opened up a lot of opportunities for me. It has evolved from there," she says.
Jessie completed the Fonterra Governance Development Programme, gaining further experience through the Food and Agribusiness Marketing Experience, the Professional Development Course for Co-operative Directors, and the Kellogg Rural Leadership Programme. She received the Canterbury Institute of Directors Aspiring Director Award in 2014 and was also named 2017 Fonterra Dairy Women of the Year.
She has also served as a Fonterra Shareholders' Councillor, on the Board of Federated Farmers Mid Canterbury, Business Mid Canterbury, Connetics Limited, Environment Canterbury and as an associate director of Dairy NZ. Last year, she attended the week-long Te Hono Stanford Bootcamp at Stanford University in California along with other major players in the agricultural sector.
Currently, Jessie sits on the board of Ngai Tahu Farming Ltd, Alpine Energy Ltd and the Bio-protection Research Centre. She is also a trustee of Meat the Need, a farmer-led initiative which sees farmer donated meat distributed to New Zealand food banks.
Having first joined the board of ATS in 2013, Jessie assumed the helm in June following the decision by previous Chairman, Alister Body, to step down from the role. In doing so, she became the first female Chair of a major Kiwi agribusiness co-operative.
Jessie was excited to be part of a board that is diverse and very future-focused, though she welcomed the day when having a female Chair wasn't big news. "It's lovely that people think it's cool, but it would be nice if it was normal. That's when we know we've got equality. I'm just a person doing something. Not a woman and not half-Chinese," she says.
She brings with her a host of skills, not least first-hand experience as a farmer. "I understand the hard graft of farming, whether you are building a business from scratch, growing a business, or trying to keep one for future generations."
For Jessie, it's about reflecting on her journey and what she can contribute going forward. She says the challenge for Ruralco is thinking about how it can do things differently while staying relevant and true to its values.
"We have to be thinking about what value we can add for our members. There is a super fine line between delivering the best for members and having a viable business. Finding an answer to that conundrum is both exciting and challenging at the same time. Melded into that is how people are going to do transactions in the future."
She believes the key always comes back to people and relationships. "People and relationships, whether it's with our members or suppliers, face-to-face or electronically, are at the heart of all we do."
Bailey Kris Kris
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talk about text.soul.culture. this album is the perfect mix of the three. enjoy.
but for a good taste enjoy this live stream of the newest hymns album.
Thank you for your presence in my life over the last year. 2010 has been a good one! I'm very excited to see all that 2011 has in store for us all. Wishing you all the best in the new year!
People always ask me about my homemade Italian red sauce or Pomodoro sauce. Honestly it is so easy that people almost don't believe me. The key I always tell them is the ingredients. Particularly the tomatoes and the olive oil. I found this article recently comparing canned tomatoes and thought it was really helpful and something others might find helpful too. And don't forget to note that Sclafani Brand Tomatoes are some of the very best!
i love this translation of James 1:2-5. this has been a real encouragement to me lately!
i love the phrase "your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors." i really believe in the idea of being authentic, not fake, and honest. and the truth is my journey of faith has not been one that i would ever describe as easy. as a counselor and pastor i am constantly challenging those i serve to "put their faith out in the open and to let people see their true colors." it means share your doubts, tell the truth – life is hard, asking for help, etc. having lots of changes where I work, having had knee surgery, my wife having surgery, things being tight financially, along with juggling a 4 year old and a 2 year old, can make you wonder what in the world is going on some times. i'm thankful for my past that reminds me of God's faithfulness in the midst of other past difficult hard times. it reminds me that God does provide and protect. and it reminds me that in the moment God is brewing something up for the future that is exciting. i hope this text finds you well and gives you some encouragement as it has to me. the truth is in the midst of the hard and the difficult there present with it is also the wonderful, exciting, and great things that are happening.
God help me to see the both and.
and help me to continue to walk humbly, moving forward with you!


WORCESTER, Mass. — Delante Jones led the Eagles with 18 points, but costly turnovers and rebounding allowed Holy Cross to come away with a 63-55 win on Monday evening on CBS Sports Network.
Mark Gasperini added 11 points and four rebounds in 17 minutes due to early foul trouble. Charlie Jones contributed eight points and Sa'eed Nelson had seven. Both played 40 minutes.
The Eagles turned the ball over 23 times and were outrebounded 29-25. AU shot 50 percent from the field and struggled from the outside (6-of-19) and the line (5-of-12).
Holy Cross also struggled to control the ball with 16 turnovers but made its mark at the line shooting 24-of-34.
The Crusaders were led by four players in double figures. Malachi Alexander had 15 points while Karl Charles added 12. Patrick Benzan chipped in 11 off the bench and Robert Champion finished with 10 points connecting on 8-of-12 from the line.
American (5-14, 2-6 PL) trailed 28-23 at the half and never led by more than a possession. The Crusaders held an eight-point advantage 25-17 with 3:10 remaining.
In the second half, Holy Cross jumped out to an 11-point edge, 42-31, on a layup by Benzan. AU cut the deficit to single digits late, but the Crusaders went 5-of-8 from the line in the final minute.
The loss snaps AU eight-game winning streak over the Crusaders.
American returns home on Wednesday evening at 7 p.m.to host Navy. Tickets to all AU home basketball games are available online at www.aueagles.com/tickets.


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Riding down a slide with a child in your lap isn't as safe as you think it is
Most parents assume holding their child in their lap on a playground slide is safest. Most parents are wrong.
Which is safer in the playground: a small child sliding down a slippery dip by themselves, or a small child sliding down a slippery lip in the lap of a caregiver? Logic seems to dictate it's the second one — but, like so many things, logic is wrong.
Riding a slide in an adult's lap ups a child's risk of a broken or fractured leg, according to research presented at the 2017 American Academy of Pediatrics National Conference and Exhibition.
The study analysed more than 350,000 US children aged six and under who were injured on slides between 2002 and 2015.
Toddlers aged between 12 and 23 months were the most likely to be hurt. The most common injury was a lower leg fracture, usually caused when a child's foot catches on the edge or the bottom of a slide, then twists and bends backwards.
Basic physics explains why riding in a parent's lap increases the likelihood of injury: A kid sliding solo probably doesn't have the weight or speed to work up the force to hurt themselves if they catch their foot. But a big, heavy adult generates more forward momentum, generating more force, generating more risk.
"Many parents and caregivers go down a slide with a young child on their lap without giving it a second thought," said lead researcher Dr Charles Jennissen, from the University of Iowa, in a statement.
"And in most cases I have seen, the parents had no idea that doing so could possibly give their child such a significant injury. They often say they would never have done it had they known."
Jennissen and his team recommend not sliding with a child in your lap — or exercising "extreme caution" if you do.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Aircraft and aerospace equipment demand high-performance, no-fail components – right down to the labels that identify them. Fluids, extreme temperatures, abrasion, corrosion and sunlight exposure threaten the readability of such identification items.
Our Special Tribute To The F35 Fighter - Metalphoto is used in a wide variety of aerospace applications.


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First Look: Rinspeed UC? Concept
Staff Writercreator
Ladies and gentleman, brace yourself for the next generation of metro mobility, at least in the eyes of Swiss boutique automaker and tuner Rinspeed and its mad scientist, Frank Rinderknecht. As Rinderknecht's company does every year, it will use the hometown 2010 Geneva Motor Show to debut its newest concept vehicle called the UC? -- short for Urban Commuter? or You See? -- an electric-powered microcar that aims to combine individual and public transport.
How can it possibly do that, you may ask? Well, the very creative minds at the firm have designed the all-electric UC? to be transported by train if need be. It features a railcar loading system to make traveling long distances less impactful on the environment. The car, officials say, intertwines the two means of mobility and therefore is to be considered a "Web-based" vehicle.
The UC? measures a tad over 8 feet long and is controlled by a centrally mounted joystick inside its compact cabin. Its EV motor features 91 pound-feet of torque and a reported 75-mile single charge range. It also is said to have a 68 mph top speed.
Rinspeed is quick to point out that plans for the UC? to make it into production are already underway with multiple global companies.


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SPB Update: Pooponomics, Food Trucks and Alcohol
September 6, 2017 by Lynn Taylor
Former St. Pete Beach Mayor Maria Lowe was in town for the first time in a year, and gave a presentation at the August 22 city commission meeting regarding her doctoral dissertation. Lowe moved to Paris with her family one year ago, but has been in the doctoral program at the University of South Florida and was in town to present her thesis idea, titled "Pooponomics," to the college for acceptance.
According to her presentation, Lowe's goals are "to inform the public on municipal responsibilities for wastewater management and their impact on quality of life, health and safety for a community." Lowe plans to approach the topic in a humorous, easy-to-understand manner with a focus on global impact as well as local impact. She is recruiting assistance from St. Pete Beach city officials, through a series of interviews, regarding their experiences with dealing with an antiquated sewer system.
"Other cities can learn from us," said Lowe. She plans to publish a book once her dissertation is completed in December 2018 and donate 25 percent of profits to the city of St. Pete Beach to build a library and install public bathrooms at various locations throughout the city.
Alcohol Ordinance Change Goes Through
Also on the agenda, the Final Reading to amend the St. Pete Beach Code of Ordinances, Chapter 6, which allows the consumption of alcohol on the sand beach in conjunction with a transient lodging facility. The commission unanimously approved the ordinance at first reading at the regular city commission meeting on August 8, after a few adjustments to the language. At the August 22 meeting, the commission again unanimously voted to approve the ordinance which allows guests staying at any of the 17 hotels on the Gulf of Mexico that rent beach cabanas to serve alcohol on the sand beach to registered guests – with a few caveats.
All guests, including day guests, must be registered, must wear a wristband exclusive to the facility, and may only be served alcohol in the designated cabana area, which must be 50 feet from wet sand areas. Servers employed by the hotels must provide the beverages in serviceware with the hotel's logo. Alcoholic beverages are still prohibited on all private and public sand beach areas, in city parks and in public streets or on city sidewalks.
According to the ordinance, "each transient lodging facility that desires an alcohol Cabana Service Area Permit must complete the permitting process and have an active Business Tax Receipt for cabana rental associated with the lodging facility." Glass and plastic straws are prohibited.
Despite concerns expressed from the audience regarding more trash, non-biodegradable cups and drinking by non-hotel guests, the motion carried with Mayor Alan Johnson reassuring residents, "This is not a free-for-all," and there are strict guidelines in place if laws are not obeyed.
Food Trucks May Become More Common on SPB
The First Reading and Public Hearing allowing for mobile food establishments (food trucks) was also on the agenda and generated much discussion from both sides. The city has been discussing the issue since July and held a workshop and meeting of the Planning Board to decide if implementation is an option. The city Planning Board provided a recommendation of approval of the measure 5-0 at a public hearing on July 17.
Mastry's Brewing Company, located at 7701 Blind Pass Road, has been using a scheduled variety of food trucks to provide food to patrons under a conditional use permit granted by the city, which has expired. Mayor Alan Johnson called food trucks "a paradigm shift in how people eat, and a matter of keeping up with the times," yet there was still disagreement on if and how to proceed.
Commissioner Melinda Pletcher did not want to be "unfair" to established brick and mortar restaurants and the requirements they have to comply with in order to operate. Commissioner Ward Friszolowski maintained, "I'm not sure it's in the best interest of the city."
District 1 Commissioner Terri Finnerty, in whose district Mastry's is located, said, "Every business in the area that I spoke with said food trucks increased their business and didn't take away from anything. It added." Finnerty also disagreed with a portion of the language that she felt did not apply to the proposed ordinance, and called Mastry's "a gem on Blind Pass Road."
Many in the audience seemed to support allowing food trucks to operate in St. Pete Beach, including residents who live within walking distance from Mastry's and restaurant owners.
Keith Overton, the president and COO of the Tradewinds Island Resort, said, "I have no problem with this. What makes the beach cool and attractive are all the things there are to do. Why not add one more thing?"
Matthew Dahm, owner of Mastry's, said business owners across the street from him have no problem with the food trucks and "appreciate the extra business." Dahm equated providing meals at the request of patrons the same as providing live music. "Customers are requesting it," he said.
After much discussion, Mayor Johnson and commissioners Terri Finnerty and Rick Falkenstein voted to pass a new food truck ordinance with commissioners Melinda Pletcher and Ward Friszolowski voting against the measure. A second vote on the ordinance, which, if approved, will put the law into effect, is scheduled for September 12.
by Lynn Taylor


This section provides access to ZIP Code ACS 2011 5-year demographic-economic estimates released December 2012. Similarly structured ZIP Code ACS 2012 5-year demographic-economic estimates released December 2013 are available in this related section.
See notes on importance of these data. ZIP Code Areas are groups of generally contiguous of Census 2010 census blocks. See similar ranking tables for: Census Tracts | Cities | School Districts | State, Metro & County.
Use the interactive ranking table in this section to view, query, rank, compare housing characteristics of the population, households and families in these ZIP code areas. The scroll box shown below lists each of the subject matter items available for each ZIP Code area via the ranking table. In the subject matter items scrollbox, subject matter items are organized into to mini-tables with related items. The number at the left of the subject matter item is also used as the short name for the subject matter item in the column header in the ranking table.
Use the ProximityOne 5-Year annual estimates and projections, updated annually, to examine trends and how demographic-economic characteristics are expected to change for ZIP Code areas and other geography. Inquire for details (mention ZIP Code projections).
- The topmost value: ZIP code 75205 has the highest $MHV among all Texas ZIP codes: $932,100.
This large table may require a minute to initially load; Chrome or Firefox recommended.
• Column P2010 is the Census 2010 total population. All other items are estimates centric to mid-2009.
• Click ShowAll button between specific ZIP queries.
The ACS estimates and ProximityOne projections provide "richer" demographic-economic characteristics for national scope ZIP Code Areas (ZCA). Census 2010 provides data similar to those items in the General Demographics section. Only the ACS 2011 estimates, ACS 2012 estimates and ProximityOne projections provide details on topics such as income and poverty, labor force and employment, housing value and costs, educational participation and attainment, language spoken at home, among many related items. The approximate 600 items accessible via the ZCA dataset are supplemented by a wide range of additional subject matter. ZCA estimates and projections are updated annually.
Learn more about demographic economic data and related analytical tools. Join us in a Decision-Making Information Web session. There is no fee for these Web sessions. Each informal session is focused on a specific topic. The open structure also provides for Q&A and discussion of application issues of interest to participants.


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What Is the RESTAURANTS Act of 2020?
GBQ » What Is the RESTAURANTS Act of 2020?
Article written by:
Dustin Minton, CPA, MBA
Director, Restaurant Services
Over the last couple of weeks, I have received some questions about the Real Economic Support That Acknowledges Unique Restaurant Assistance Needed to Survive (RESTAURANTS) Act of 2020 that was introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives on June 15, 2020, with accompanying legislation introduced in the Senate with bipartisan support. Since then, there has not been any news on whether the RESTAURANTS Act will be passed or included in future legislation. Restaurant companies want to know whether they would be eligible and what the bill encompasses. Please remember, this is all proposed legislation and nothing has passed (emphasis added).
The RESTAURANTS Act is billed as a restaurant stabilization grant program focused specifically on independently owned restaurants. The Independent Restaurant Coalition formed during the pandemic is a strong proponent of such legislation to ensure independent restaurants survive the pandemic. Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) or Economic Injury Disaster Loan (EIDL) funding recipients are eligible for this grant with stipulations noted below.
Below is a summary of the proposed legislation:
Creates a new $120 billion grant program to provide structured relief through December 31, 2020;
The program will be administered by the Department of the Treasury and available to food service or drinking establishments, including caterers, that are not publicly traded or part of a chain with 20 or more locations doing business under the same name;
Grant values will cover the difference between revenues from 2019, and projected revenues through 2020, based on a calendar quarter during 2020 as compared to the same calendar quarter in 2019;
PPP or EIDL funding recipients must subtract funds received that do not need to be paid back from the maximum Restaurant Stabilization Grant value;
Restaurant Stabilization Grants do not need to be paid back and funding is made available through 2020;
Eligible expenses include: payroll (not including employee compensation exceeding $100,000/year), benefits, mortgage, rent, utilities, maintenance, supplies (including protective equipment and cleaning materials), food, debt obligations to suppliers, and any other expenses deemed essential by the Secretary of the Treasury;
Recipients must certify that current economic conditions make the grant request necessary, that the funds will be used to retain workers, maintain payroll, and make other payments (as specified above), and that the recipient is only applying for, and would only receive, one grant;
If a restaurant permanently ceases operations before the end of 2020, unspent funds must be returned. If the grant award exceeds the actual end-of-year revenues, the grant is converted to a loan with a 10-year term at 1% interest;
The amount of a grant awarded shall be excluded from gross income of the eligible entity, no deduction shall be denied or reduced, and will not be eligible for the Employee Retention Tax Credit;
The first 14 days of funds will only be made available to restaurants with annual revenues of $1.5 million or less to target local small restaurants, particularly those that are women-, veteran-, or minority-owned and operated eligible entities; and
The Restaurant Stabilization Act provides $300 million to administer the program – $60 million of which is set-aside for outreach to traditionally marginalized and underrepresented communities, with a focus on women-, veteran-, and minority-owned and operated eligible entities.
Now we wait to see what happens next. Many changes were made to the PPP to allow more time for restauranteurs to properly utilize the loan proceeds and achieve full forgiveness. Many believe this is not enough and that the grants provided under the RESTAURANTS Act of 2020 would fill the gaps to ensure independent restaurants have a fighting chance to survive the pandemic.
Stay tuned as we keep abreast of the latest development. If you have any questions, please contact Dustin Minton.
Dustin Minton


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The possibilities of varied expression – guitarist and composer Xander Naylor presents 'Continuum'
by Andrei Cherascu October 21, 2020 October 21, 2020
Leave a Comment on The possibilities of varied expression – guitarist and composer Xander Naylor presents 'Continuum'
On October 23, guitarist and composer Xander Naylor will release his new album, Continuum, via Chant Records.
Featuring the core of his touring band (Elijah Shiffer on alto sax, Nicholas Jozwiak on bass and Raphael Pannier on drums) alongside Alec Spiegelman (baritone sax), Alex Asher (trombone), Angelica Bess (vocals), Cole Kamen-Green (trumpet), and Sarah Pedinotti (vocals), Continuum is meant as a response to "being stuck in a world of magnetism to the screens, and potentially wanting to get out of it but not knowing how."
Inspired by his own spiritual journey, The New York-based musician, who studied with renowned tabla master Samir Chatterjee, combines the energies of avant jazz, post rock and Indian classical music to study "the connection between art and the scattered existence of contemporary, technology-obsessed society."
Continuum follows-up on Transmission, wherein the artist had to re-devise his creative process after a mysterious injury left him unable to play guitar for years.
Two weeks ago, I caught up with Xander to talk about his new album, his unique creative challenge, studying with Samir Chatterjee and the role of spirituality in his creative message.
Xander, it's great to talk to you. How have you been throughout this pandemic?
I think the general experience is like a roller coaster, you know? The first few months were definitely a shock. It was a lot of reading the news. I still have phases where I read the news and overload, and then I can't read the news anymore. It's just too morbid.
I'm shifting into trying to be a little bit more productive. The last month, I've had more of an opportunity to play some music with people, in real life. I forgot how much music is my medicine.
Tell me a bit about your career leading up to Continuum. You've had a bizarre injury that left you unable to play, having to re-learn technique from scratch. How did that reflect in your creative approach for your subsequent albums?
I've had a very strange course of events. I had been regularly gigging and teaching music in New York up until the end of 2012. After my dad died, at the end of 2012, I went into a period of depression. I made a lot of unhealthy life choices for a little while, let's put it like that.
In early 2013, I got sober and realized that I had a whole lot of injuries I hadn't dealt with. It was very mysterious. It probably stemmed from a car accident I had that messed up my shoulder. Some of it also had to do with guitar practicing that wasn't very healthy. I got to a point where it hurt to even look at the guitar, because I knew in my mind how much pain I would experience.
I've had a long relationship with Samir Chatterjee, who has been a mentor of mine. We worked together to very slowly build up my ability to play guitar again. It was five minutes at a time, then ten minutes at a time of just reducing the stress level and retraining myself to have a new kind of technique that was going to be physically sustainable.
It took me three years to get to a point where my technique was where it had been before and then going to new places. I've had a long time to ask myself what I wanted to do with my music and what I wanted it to sound like. Gradually, I had enough ideas built up to start working on Transmission.
I really wanted to start exploring the process in the studio and working with a lot of different musicians. I got into finding ways to mix different instrumentation in.
Writing for string quartet was super exciting. Working with jazz musicians and string players on the same session was a huge learning experience. It involves completely different ways of operating and requires a lot of switching gears really quickly.
At the end of making that record, I knew that I still hadn't gotten to exactly what I was hearing yet. But I did have to make that record. It wasn't a loss – I knew it was a step in a certain direction.
When you say you weren't able to play what you were hearing, was that due to your injury?
I think I was still in the process of getting my technique back in order and lining that up with what I was hearing in my head. I would write things that were what I was hearing, but the playing wasn't coming out in a way that would line up with the compositions.
So, a little bit of time went by, I was touring, and the guys in my band were encouraging me to make a record that would reflect the music that we were making on tour, which already wasn't sounding like what we were doing on Transmission. They said, "Let's go to the studio. Let's do a version that's based off of this band."
On Continuum, the core of the band was made up of the musicians I was touring with for about two years. I went into that with a specific idea of what I was trying to embody in that record —what I wanted the sound to be like, what kind of tensions I wanted there to be between one track and another. I knew that I wanted to have this mixture of flowing melodies and harmonies but then also having these glitched-out editing processes.
I talked to Ian Hersey, who was doing the mixing, and we knew that we wanted to capture the energy of the live band by doing expansive takes and then editing down the improvisations in the way Teo Macero was doing with the Miles Davis stuff from the early seventies; just taking this live stuff and cutting it down to make it closer to pop length.
What I find interesting is that, although you take a lot of inspiration from Indian music, there are no traditional Indian instruments on the record.
A lot of my training with Samir Chatterjee has been centered on the fact that he's a tabla player and I'm not — I'm a guitar player. Our lessons have been him singing me these ragas and singing me these rhythmic permutations and then I replicate them on guitar. It was about finding ways to get my technique to reflect the things that he's singing. So the whole thing has been an experimentation process.
After a few years of studying that music, I found that, when I go to write songs, I naturally start implementing those things. It takes a while for it to sink in on a molecular level — hearing a different type of scale rather than what I'm used to in western music.
With "Lunar Acropolis," for example, I was having a super frustrated day and I said, "You know what? Let me put this aside. Let me spend a little bit of time meditating. The sun's going down, let me meditate and hopefully, by the time the sun has set, I'll have some new ideas."
After I came out of meditation, these melodies started coming into my head. I started writing notes down, then I started recording. Two or three hours later, I realized that I've written this entire song within a raga called "Marwa." I didn't even realize that. That's actually a raga for that time of day. It's specifically meant to be played around dusk. In North Indian classical music they have a specific type of adherence to playing certain ragas at different times of day, to express those periods. So that's one example of how the music was created.
You'd just returned from a tour of India when the pandemic started. How was the music received there?
It had a wide variety of responses because we've played a variety of venues, but it was overwhelmingly positive. Some of the venues we played had audiences that were more engaged with jazz and Hindustani music. I got into some great conversations about that kind of thing. There are not a lot of people doing that even over there, actually.
Interestingly enough, I did the tour with two Indian musicians who are based in Pune. They probably play more American-style music than I do. And I probably play more Indian-style music than they do. (laughs) So it became a really interesting conversation. They'd be dropping names of jazz musicians I hadn't heard of and I'd be dropping names of Indian musicians they hadn't heard of. It's just a journey.
How did you become interested in Indian culture? Was it through music or did you get introduced to the music afterwards?
The music was definitely first. My earliest memories were back in the late '90s hearing some of this drum and bass stuff from this producer, Talvin Singh, who is British. He was implementing a lot of tabla and other Indian instruments within his electronic productions. I thought, "Wow, that's a different sound."
Many years later, when I moved to New York, I was getting interested in a lot of drummers. On the one end of the spectrum was Jim Black, with things falling apart while keeping time and on the other end was Dan Weiss, who was doing all these crazy metric modulations. It could sound like it was falling apart, but you could tell that he knew exactly what was going on. I started realizing that he was studying Indian music and I started getting pointed in that direction.
A week after I moved to New York, I had a roommate who was a guitarist. He looked at me and he said, "Have you heard what these Indian guys are doing with the slide guitar?" I said, "I've never heard of Indian slide guitar." He handed me a record of Debashish Bhattacharya. Samir was playing tabla on it. I was amazed by the completely novel way of playing slide guitar but I was equally, if not more impressed that there were these drums that sounded like they were singing.
I started getting interested in that other kind of expressiveness, not using chords at all but just a different way of even entering the music. Shortly after that was when I started studying with Samir.
How did you start studying with him?
This amazing drummer named Gerry Hemingway was teaching a world music introduction class at the New School when I was studying there. Samir came in to do a masterclass one day. He just spoke about some things that I had read about the night before. I was drawn to him like a magnet.
He immediately started ripping me apart, tearing down all my notions of how much I thought I knew about things. For some reason, I instinctively trusted that he had my best interest in mind, which is something I didn't always find in the university jazz educational system — that personal connection of really caring about having your student be the best possible version of themselves that they can be, to then go out into the world and create music and share music with other people and uplift people. That was very powerful to me.
Continuum deals with the topic of digitalization and how it affects interpersonal relationships. How did you get interested in that?
It's a topic that has always been a struggle for me. I've always found a connection with spiritual principals and practicing music in a spiritual or meditative way, which a lot of times is by myself with an acoustic instrument or just playing with other acoustic instruments. On the other hand, in order to conduct most of my daily life, I have to log on to a computer. I have to get on Zoom. I have to listen to some kind of CD that skips or a Youtube video that glitches out. Then, in order to do my work of editing music on editing software or editing videos, there are all these processes of fracturing data. That's just a natural part of life. In order for me to book a tour in India, I have to interrupt my practice time to be messaging with somebody on Instagram at the same time. I started to think, "How can I really inspect this conundrum of balancing these two types of existence?" Because I like being holed up in the woods, chopping wood, keeping a fire going and practicing guitar by myself, but in order to go out and make music with other people, I have to encounter technology.
Is that a frustrating feeling? I feel like there is a discernable feeling of tension or frustration in certain parts of the album.
Yeah, the frustration is definitely there. I felt like there are certain parts of the record that I recorded near the end of the session that, to me, are the ones that sound the most resolved. Like the beginning of "Lunar Acropolis." The intro to that was one of last things I recorded. To me, it feels like one of the calmest passages in the entire record. But the parts that I had done earlier, yeah, the frustration was there.
I like to set up parameters and then see what happens within these parameters. I like to create restrictions and see what goes on. Because going into something with a completely free, open-ended mindset sometimes translates to random results. Even in the studio, sometimes what we did was use these high powered effects boxes that, in theory, can make amazing sounds. The funny thing is we had seven people in the studio and none of us could actually figure out how to use the boxes. We have some of these takes on the record. One of the tracks on "Riddlin" was just me playing and Nick, the bassist, manipulating the effects on the box. We would finish the whole take and he'd be like, "I have absolutely no idea what I was doing." (laughs) And the whole take was me reacting to how he was manipulating me throughout the whole thing. So I incorporate different aleatory processes like that.
I specifically wrote "Export for Screens" in response to working with software like Adobe Illustrator, where I would spend two hours on something, trying to export it, and then I would realize I don't even know what "export for screens" means. I'm trying to export this thing to check it out and re-edit it and I don't know what the settings are. So, at the middle of that track is this meltdown of trying to do something but the technology got in the way, so I can't even remember what I was thinking about anymore.
Transmission was available on cassette tape alongside CD and digital format. I haven't seen much of that lately. Why cassettes?
Cassettes had a brief resurgence among some scenes. especially in New York and the underground scenes in the US. There was a time when people were into that. People would buy cassettes more than CDs for a little while, actually. I didn't decide to do it this time because it seems to have faded.
So it was a marketing thing rather than a personal preference.
I like the sound of tapes, but I can't get a tape player to work for more than six months at a time. (laughs)
Why did you decide to release the album on Chant Records?
I've had a few different friends who have put out things on their label and generally just the fact that they're a label that is putting out things that aren't easily categorized. A lot of labels, they fit into one kind of genre or another. Chant mostly puts out the things that fall between the cracks. It's super exciting stuff and they seem to put things out based on their excitement about it, which just seemed like good, honest work. For the people like us who operate like that, we almost have kind of a duty to keep that spirit alive.
If you were an audience member going to a gig by Xander Naylor Sound Machine and hearing this music for the first time, what would you think of it?
It's an interesting question. I'm trying to keep my ego out of it. (laughs)
I would probably hear a combination of joy, ecstasy, tension, dissonance, loud and then chaos-slash-rhythm. I'm trying to be honest. Because a lot of people are like, "That just sounded like chaos." For every person who feels it was meditative transcendence, there's another person who'll be like, "I have no idea what you're doing. I don't get it." (laughs) And that's fine.
I've often found that there seems to be a certain disconnect between musicians and the audience in what is being expressed through the music. Musicians often write thinking about how other musicians would perceive their work. They think in terms of technique and bars and tempo. But most of the audience isn't made up of musicians, and non-musicians will connect to different things in the music. Often times, a listener will connect to a perceived story, or what I call a "narrative coherence," that the composer might not even be aware of.
I totally hear where you're coming from and that has been a huge question on my mind, especially in the last couple of years, because I really came up in an avant-garde improvised music scene in New York City. It was a very fertile scene, where everything was done for the sake of experimentation, for the sake of sound creation. As the years have gone by, I recognized that that's super honest but most of the people who come to those shows are people with the exact same interest set and it's usually about ten people. So I do feel like I want to reach out to a wider audience. I'm interested in creating music that's more universally applicable and creating music that people can relate to and that can open something for them. But I have to then branch out from trying to believe that other people should just accept free improvised music and trust me. No, I have to go and try to meet them half way.
What would you like the listeners to take away from your music?
Hope! Hope for the possibilities of varied expression.
You can listen to "Lunar Acropolis" on Spotify and pre-order your copy of Continuum on Bandcamp.
Photo credit: Michael Kerschner
Tags: Alec Spiegelman Alex Asher alto sax Angelica Bess avant jazz Chant Records Cole Kamen-Green Continuum Dan Weiss Debashish Bhattacharya Elijah Shiffer featured Gerry Hemingway Indian Hindustani music Jim Black new album new release Nicholas Jozwiak post rock raga ragas Raphael Pannier rock Samir Chatterjee Sarah Pedinotti Talvin Singh Xander Naylor
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Home-made basil, garlic, pine nuts and some Grana Padano blended with olive oil to stir into dehydrated pasta for a deliciously fresh dinner.
SKU: 1012. Categories: Dinner, Tassie.
This pesto was fantastic and felt so luxurious to add real parmesan to at the end when "serving"! Was always lovely to have a delicious, flavoursome dinner to get into at the end of a day's walking.
This was my favorite dish. The pesto was truly delicious and the pasta nice and soft (easy to cook). I added tinned tuna and together with the fresh Parmesan it was delicious.
Yummy fresh pesto, a very easy dinner to cook!!
I'd eat this on the couch at home and still declare it the yummiest pesto I'd tasted.
Super delicious and easy to prepare. Added a bit more water to make it more "saucy" and with the addition of the chilli flakes we bought along and the Parmesan provided, was a cracking and filling dinner.
So delicious! My favourite dinner on the walk. Filling and flavoursome.
Delicious! We also added some fried up salami on the first night.
My husband and I both enjoyed these meal. Easy to prepare, tasty and as good as you would have at home. Also light to carry! Highly recommend.
This pesto pasta was delicious and filling – strongly recommended and the fresh parmesan such a bonus.
This is an awesome, simple, tasty meal. I added some dehydrated peas for extra bulk and it was goodness all round. Keep this one on the menu!
Very good, easily carried, good portion size. Loved the fresh parmesan that came with it.
This was very easy to prepare and tasted really good. Other people were eating the dehydrated stuff you buy from the camping shop and boy oh boy did it look horrible! We ate extremely well in comparison!
This was delicious and easy to prepare. Highly recommend.
Great meal – the pesto was much better than I expected – usually I don't like anything but home made pesto so I didn't have high hopes but this was really fresh tasting.
Thanks for the lovely comment Fiona. Worth noting: we're the same with pesto – jar pesto is a different animal to fresh. Ours is our very own home-made recipe, made by us here in Hobart from fresh ingredients and vac-sealed for good measure.
I'll go with the 'simple and delicious' above.
I'd always cooked pasta in boiling water – this was simpler and so tasty with the delicious pesto – simple and delicious.
Delicious fresh pasta meal combo with yummy pesto, loved this one after a full day on the track. Light and small to pack and simple to prepare, many jealous comments from the other guests.
This was my absolute favourite! The fresh taste and heartiness was just what you want after a long days march. The garlic is fresh from Ian & Gail's garden and you can taste it!
Really delicious , refused to share with family . filled me up and I'm a 14 year old male ..
Simple and delicious. Even comes with fresh parmesan. Can't go wrong with this meal.
Awesome light weight and DELICIOUS!! Seriously best meal we had on the 3 nights (and they were all GOOD).
Better than I make at home! I could have eaten it every night in the trip. So easy to make and lightweight to carry.
Whole wheat pasta, basil, olive oil, garlic, parmesan, pine nuts, salt, pepper.


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Women shown mentoring women on 'Nashville' revolutionary for TV
I love "Nashville." It's my favorite show on TV, and I watch it weekly with my husband (who is a musician) and my 10 year old daughter who is an aspiring musician.
I've blogged before about the reasons why this show is so great: female protagonist, female supporting roles, complex/ realistic relationships between women, women who are defined, first and foremost, by their professions not love interests, a 40 something woman in her career prime is lusted after by multiple hot men, and the music is great. But I have to do one more blog about this show, because after we watched it last night, I said to my husband, "I don't think I've ever seen a female mentor another female on TV." I'm so used to seeing women stereotyped and pitted against each other. It's one of the reasons the whole Minority Feisty thing upsets me so much, females are continually isolated from each other– an old, effective tool for domination. I'm not saying women should stand in a circle and sing kumbaya. Not only is that boring, it's not realistic. But in "Nashville," you see women work through conflict and then come out on on other side in ways unpredicted and unexpected. It's really inspiring to watch. If you didn't know, Callie Khouri of "Thelma and Louise" fame writes the show. It's great and I encourage you to watch it with your kids (I recommend for age 9 and up, if they know about sex. There are no graphic or long sex scenes but there are brief ones and sex is alluded to.)
Reel Girl rates "Nashville" ***HHH*** (up one H this season to highest heroine rating)
This entry was posted in Television programs and tagged Juliette Barnes, Nashville, Rayna by margotmagowan. Bookmark the permalink.
4 thoughts on "Women shown mentoring women on 'Nashville' revolutionary for TV"
Jenn Reese (real writer) on May 24, 2014 at 7:55 pm said:
I just started watching Grey's Anatomy (nine seasons on Netflix) and there are *tons* of great female characters, including some women mentoring other women. The key relationship so far is a friendship between two women. There's also an affair and although it seemed like the "estranged wife" and "new girlfriend" would be pitted against each other, it's been far more nuanced than that. I'm tremendously impressed so far, just a few episodes into season 2.
Jenn Reese on May 24, 2014 at 7:56 pm said:
Oh, ack, I have no idea why that says "real writer" after my name, but I can't seem to delete it. Sorry about that! It must have been a reference to some previous post on another blog.
margotmagowan on May 25, 2014 at 9:05 am said:
That's great to hear (wish 'real writer' spontaneously appeared after MY name : ) )
cat on May 24, 2014 at 7:14 pm said:
I wish Nashville were better than it is because I know Callie and Connie have spoken about gender issues and the kinds of female characters they want to portray. I just don't think they do it that effectively. Hayden's performance is fantastic and the show has produced some great music but for the most part it has been about pitting female characters against each other and paying tribute to the glory of Saint Rayna.


Passenger pigeon memorial at the Cinncinati Zoo. Photo by Frank X. Mercurio.
Like every school kid who grew up in Cincinnati, I learned the story of "Martha" at an early age. Martha was the last know passenger pigeon (Ectopistes migratorius). She died at the Cincinnati Zoo in 1914. The zoo's memorial to Martha is a "must see" on school field trips. Housed in a converted Victorian-era aviary, the memorial commemorates Martha's passing and the extinction of her entire species.
The passenger pigeon was a wonder of its time. Great flocks passed over the cities, towns, and farms of eastern North America "darkening the skies for days." Millions roosted in forest, tree limbs crashing from the weight of so many birds. Nesting grounds reportedly covered hundreds of square miles of territory.
"Camouflage XII (Disguise for Endangered Parrot)" by Jenny Kendler.
In the mid-1800s these wild pigeons were seen as an unlimited resource. Hunters captured them by the thousands, packed them in barrels, and sent them to markets across the United States and Canada by train. The birds proved to be nutritious and delicious—but not as unlimited as first imagined. By 1914, abundance yielded to extinction.
Today, few people know about Martha and the demise of her kind. Mention "passenger pigeon" at a dinner party, and people will likely confuse this once prolific bird with "carrier pigeon" or "messenger pigeon." It's amazing to think that a bird that once numbered in the billions—and was a ubiquitous part of America's culinary culture—has been so completely forgotten.
Then again, how can you miss something that you never knew?
This notion is part of the impetus behind the new exhibition "Facing Extinction" at Brushwood Center (opening on Sunday, March 9 from 1:00 to 3:00 pm). The show aims to raise awareness of the world's endangered species before they slip into oblivion. Using the cautionary tale of the passenger pigeon as a starting point, "Facing Extinction" presents 12 artists whose work addresses the environmental, cultural, and moral issues surrounding human-caused extinctions.
Photographs of endangered species by National Geographic photographer Joel Sartore, part of his PhotoArk project.
Featured works include photos from Joel Sartore's "Photo Ark" project. Joel traveled to different zoos around the country taking portraits of endangered animals, some of whom can no longer be found in the wild.
Closer to home, photographer Carol Freeman documents the local endangered flora and fauna of Illinois. Currently, she has photographed 140 of the nearly 500 species that are in danger of disappearing from our region.
"To sleep" study of a passenger pigeon by Kristina Knowski.
The artists of the Endangered Species Print Project—founded by Jenny Kendler and Molly Schafer—seek to raise awareness of the world's dwindling biodiversity. An international cadre of artists have created prints of disappearing species, including the Javan rhinoceros, the Sumatran tiger, and the Philippine crocodile. Proceeds from sales are donated to conservation efforts.
The works of Diana Sudyka and Kristina Knowski are more poetic. Diana's lyrical watercolors acknowledge the relationships between humans and other species. As a book illustrator, text often features prominently in her paintings. Kristina often works from museum specimens to create poignant images of already-extinct birds, including passenger pigeons, the New Zealand huia, and the Wake Island Rail.
Other works in the show are more conceptual, especially those by Annette Barbier and Jenny Kendler (from her solo practice). Annette's Lost features a large nest containing broken eggs marked with the names of extinct birds. The work suggests the destruction of species at human hands. Composed of vintage bird figurines, Jenny's Camouflage series strives to bring awareness to still-living species that need our protection.
The subtext that runs through the entire show is that there is still hope and opportunity; that we, as humans, can act to save species from extinction, not just for the sake of bolstering the world's biodiversity, but for ensuring our own survival. I hope that you will be able to attend "Facing Extinction" and support the work of these artists who blend creativity with activism.
Franck Mercurio installing photographs by Carol Freeman.
Franck Mercurio is an independent arts consultant, curator, and writer based in Chicago. Before starting his own consultancy business, Franck served for eight years as an exhibition developer for the Field Museum. He has curated other exhibitions at Ryerson Woods for Brushwood Center including, Genius Loci: Listening to Nature's Muse (July–August 2013) and Art of Green (July–August 2011). Learn more about Franck's work at: www.mercurio-exhibits.com.


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Double gold for Sarabjot Singh at Shooting Nationals
New Delhi [India], December 3 (ANI): Haryana lad Sarabjot Singh won double gold at the 65th National Shooting Championship Competitions (65th NSCC), winning both the individual and team men's 10m air pistol competitions, here at the MP Shooting Academy range in Bhopal.
Sarabjot defeated Gaurav Rana of the Air Force 16-4 in the gold medal match for the individual crown and also partnered with Sumit Raman and Anmol Jain to pick up the team gold in the event with a combined effort of 1736.
Sarabjot came fifth in the massive 1100-plus qualification round with a 60-shot score of 582, before topping the semi-final with an effort of 252.7, to make the title round. Gaurav came second in qualification with 583 and then earned the right to challenge Gaurav with a semi-final score of 250.6, which placed him second behind Sarabjot.
The junior and youth men's 10m air pistol event was a straight fight between Haryana's Shiva Narwal and the Army's Pradhyumn Singh. While Shiva took the youth title with a 16-8 win over Pradhyumn, the latter struck back to take the junior crown with a tight 17-13 win over the former.
Earlier, Olympian Manu Bhaker, swept the women's 25m pistol competition at the 65th National Shooting Championship Competitions (65th NSCC), adding the individual women's and junior women's gold to the two-team golds she had already won in the discipline.
In a stellar show, Manu representing Haryana outgunned CRPF's Pushpanjali Rana 33-27 in the women's medal match at the MP Shooting Academy range in Bhopal and then her state-mate Vibhuti Bhatia 32-24, in the junior women's title round to bag an individual double. She had already secured both the team's golds in the events. (ANI)
Ayo Edebiri joins Marvel's upcoming anti-hero movie 'Thunderbolts' cast


10/1/2009 When you cast Mana Vortex, its first ability triggers and goes on the stack on top of the Mana Vortex spell. The triggered ability resolves first. When it resolves, you either sacrifice a land or you counter Mana Vortex.
10/1/2009 Mana Vortex's third ability is a "state trigger." Once a state trigger triggers, it won't trigger again as long as the ability is on the stack. If the ability is countered and the trigger condition is still true, it will immediately trigger again.


I was thrilled to present at the Webstock Conference in Wellington, New Zealand. In addition to teaching the Usability Bootcamp workshop, I presented my short presentation, Adventurous Usability Techniques for the Seasoned Pro.
Thanks to the fantastic organizers of Webstock, you can now watch the video of my presentation: Adventurous Usability Techniques for the Seasoned Pro.
What novel techniques do you use to evaluate your designs? I'd love to hear from you.


As I write this, I'm grieving the death of my mother who passed away six weeks ago. That familiar sense of steadiness that I always experience as I move through life has been present, but it's been interspersed with times of sadness and just plain emotional pain.
In recent days, I've realized that I haven't given these emotions much attention. I haven't pushed them away, but I haven't welcomed them in either. And I know they've been sitting there humming in the background, muting my usual zest for life.
I talk a lot with others about embracing all of our experience and not resisting anything. I know in my heart of hearts, and through my own experience, that avoidance sustains suffering and embracing brings peace. So I thought it's now time to follow my own suggestions.
That means letting down any barriers that have been keeping my emotions at a distance and inviting these emotions fully into the field of conscious awareness.
I led a meeting called Living in Truth the other night where a woman described how she had recently been experiencing a lot of emotional turmoil. But during the guided meditation, things quieted down, and she became aware of the possibility of being with her emotions in a new way.
The phrase that came to her was, "There's space for that." Confusion, upset, panic about not knowing what to do? There's space for that.
It was a phrase that resonated deeply with me, and it perfectly applied to my own experience. The sadness and loss that had been hanging around along the edges of my awareness? There was space for that.
Before I wasn't ready and even enjoyed the idea of connecting to my mother through grieving. But now there is a shift. There's space for the emotions and whatever else wants to come.
As I settle into the being aware of meditation, resistance falls away. I can feel how I've subtly turned away from these feelings, and now they are welcome in a great expansive space. There's no dramatic insight or explosion of light. But there's a sense of ease that comes as the doing of resistance comes to an end, and the feelings themselves become softer and more diffuse.
The sadness is sweet, and rather than being lost in my own story of loss, surprisingly, the connection with my mother is alive and joyful.
No matter how pure our intentions to be free, the events of life can catch us off guard. Without realizing it, we create division—between life as it's actually unfolding and our stories about it, between awareness and our feelings, between what others are doing and what we want them to do.
But at any moment, when the time is right, it's always possible to bring space to that. We put down the fight, and rather than letting anything go, we let it all come in, welcoming things just as they are.
What can you bring space to in your own experience? What is that like for you? Please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.
My condolences on the death of your mother! Please send unconditional love to the departed soul. Thank her for giving you birth, upbringing you ( giving you essential life valves ), and giving you so many years of her life! Her spirit is always around you! Her memories will always be part of you life! Divine Love & Blessings to you!
Thank you so much, Harbhajan. I so appreciate your kind words.
Sweet. I find since my mom's passing last year, I feel a kindredness to other's who have had this experience. A universal experience that connects us.
I totally understand, Scott. I feel like I'm a member of a club I never knew existed, and there's a sweet connection in that.
Such a beautiful prayer, Llynde. Makes my heart sing….
On the topic of space and making room – I have found that it is one of the most simple, yet most effective ways of bringing myself back into center. I think when we close parts of our experience off we become claustrophobic and feel like we are bumping elbows with something we don't want to face and cannot quite see – which makes it quite a bit harder to deal with. Another way we do this is to try and force ourselves to accept whatever it is we are avoiding before we are really ready. When we just give space for even the experience of avoiding, it opens up a lot more room and takes a lot of pressure off yourself so you can gently and naturally come to terms with whatever it is your are experiencing in your own time.
When I notice I am all bound up like that, I take a few deep breaths and picture a huge sphere around me, like the atmosphere of earth. With every breath after that I imagine I am allowing that sphere to grow in size until I can no longer make out the border. Everything inside of that now has room. This includes stuff I can't see yet as well! It is such an effective way for me to relax into the situation and really puts the brakes on my tendency to suppress feelings and such.
Anyway, I just wanted to throw in my two cents and also say Hi. Your writing is a breath of fresh air – thank you!
I love your two cents, CK! Especially the part about making that expansive space even for avoiding.
Hi! Gail, Deep prayers for your mother. May she be peaceful where ever she is, may she keep showering her blessings on you and may you feel it always.
I find we are all part of the same circle and today it is your turn to mourn and then through that find a way to learn to create expansive space for the unacknowledged stuff.
Your sharing brings soothing experience for me and teaches me to create such space in my life.
I find peace and connection when I read your posts. Thank you for being You. Lot of Love.
I receive all of your loving thoughts, Martina. Thank you!
So sorry for your loss Gail. When you write, you write so beautifully. You explain things so right. I've been on a spiritual jouney since the passing of my father almost twelve years ago. I loved him so much. I could not believe he was taken from us in his late seventies. I though he had longevity like his mother who lived till ninety three. I questioned life after that. Why are we here??? Wow! That just opened up a new beginning for me. It was tough yet so beautiful and fulfilling. I have mediated ever since my fathers death and asked many questions. I have sat through my anxiety and pain and let myself heal. I am in such a wonderful place right now. I am so excited to see so many others likeminded. Your column is wonderful and I know through what your going through you will help so many along their paths. Lots of love and light. Pam.
I so appreciate this, Pam. Our teachers are everywhere and the opportunity for lessons unending. This makes me see over and over that when we just receive everything, life takes its course naturally. We never know what gifts are coming our way! I'm so happy for your insights and realizations. Your words sparkle with freedom.
Have just read your message about the sad loss of your mother. I'm new to your web site and your book but it's words resonate deeply with me. When i read about the passing of your mother and your resistance to the emotions that it had brought up i was reminded of the beautiful poem by Rumi called The Guest House. I'm sure you and others here know of it and it's message to welcome all be it pain, hurt, grief or joy.
as a guide from beyond".
Thank you so much, Neil. This is one of my favorites of Rumi, and I appreciate your sharing it here.
I am so sorry to hear about your mom <3 . I appreciate you sharing it and opening up with this post.
I am wondering what you think about this. My twin girls are seniors in high school.. I was having a terrible time even thinking about the next year and them not being here.. huge waves of grief .. I could not even talk about it.. and every client would ask so it was very hard. I ended up going on lexapro. I am now able to talk about it and think about it without being so overwhelmed.. so am I dealing with it or numbing it because of the drug? Am I closing off to the grief of the change to come because it was to hard, or am I finding a way to deal with it the best way that I can?
I can't give you professional advice about this, Tiffany. But maybe you're needing the Lexapro for a time so you can begin to deal with these feelings. It sounds like it's helping. As the situation unfolds and you become more comfortable, maybe you won't need the medication anymore. I'm not hearing that you're closing off to the grief. I really appreciate that you want to open to these feelings and not avoid them.
We each have only one mother, and losing her is an immense sadness, until we realise that indeed, we all have One Mother, and we are always within her arms.
So beautiful, Steve. Thank you.
When I lost my mother, I continued to share with her. She loved music,particularly piano. Whenever I go to a concert, I bring her with me thru my eyes and ears. Lost my husband 6 months ago. We had 43 great years together. Instead of mourning, as I move thru my day and experience the esoteric pleasures and material comforts, I say thank you Howard for helping to provide access to them and it keeps him in my mind and heart in a positive way.
What a beautiful way to keep your loved ones close. Thank you for sharing your experience here. It helps everyone.
Thank you once again for writing this blog and sharing your experiences and the way to deal with our emotional dimension. It is really a hard dimension to deal with, as it belongs mostly to the unconscious, as well as our conditioned resistances, and all the mutual reinforcements that occur among them… It is also hard to give space to all of that, because it hurts so much and requires some conscience of what is happening, but I agree that the space is the only approach able to let us realize that even when the hurricane is at its worst and we can feel its pain, we are much more than that, we are the whole ocean and not only the wind, the waves, the pain.
I understand that it's difficult and painful to feel certain feelings. But for me, it's become less hard over time. I'm at the point now where I welcome all feelings and don't want any of them to stay out of conscious awareness. Over time, it's been a beautiful process of letting everything come out of the shadows. This is what softens the conditioned patterns and resistances and breaks down barriers to love and openness. Initially they are mostly unconscious, but eventually all is welcomed into the light. It starts out being hard, then becomes a huge relief and even a joy.
Discovering that space, the ocean that contains and is all, allows for everything.
Dear Gail,my heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is to let go of someone who was such a big part of your being. I too lost my mother many years ago and felt I lost a huge part of me because I missed her so much. But with time I allowed "this space" within me you speak about, which helped lessen the hold the pain had over me.
And with time, I felt she was just there with me.
My thoughts and prayers to you, Gail. Your message is perfect and on target. My mother died last year and even at this present time, I am still not over it. The pain and sadness hovered over me. I miss my conversations with her, places we go, he phone calls, her jokes, etc. I spent more of my adult years with my mother because my father died when I was 12 years old. My sadness towards my mother demise has overtaken my being, I can't get past grieving, and I feel my life is slipping away. It's been a year she's gone, but it was just like yesterday I was talking to her. Then I read what you wrote: " We put down the fight, and rather than letting anything go, we let it all come in, welcoming things just as they are." That's what I needed to do….
Glad this was helpful, Bles. I also discovered something recently in my own experience which is the need to "choose life." I get how you can be dragged down by grief. But at some point, you can truly contemplate if this is how you want to live. It's an option, and I love that I can choose life.
Wow, nice article, really open and refreshing.
Facing your negative emotions head on is probably one of the most difficult things we as humans can do, but it's just so necessary to do. If you try to ignore them, they'll always be there – watching, lingering. Face them head on and do whatever you must to overcome them – cry, scream, hit things. Whatever it takes.
I love your fire, Mercury! It is possible to not have emotions be in control of our thoughts and behavior.
And I appreciate your point about them watching and lingering if we don't acknowledge them. Something not working in your life? Guaranteed there's an unexamined emotion hanging out in the shadows.
It occurs to me that our physiology is hardwired to avoid trauma i.e. at first fight or flight and then total shut down, foetal position ("playing dead" as reptiles do). And we do still have some reptilian nervous system.
My father is currently dying. We rarely get a rehearsal for how to be and do, so its all a bit improvised. I notice that although my mind is quiet and calm my gut is full of butterflies and there is tension in my hard muscles. My gut was telling me he was dying way before this was medically confirmed.
Our physiology is all about survival, and seems to function on its own without our mind's intervention. You had a gut feeling that proved to be right on.


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THE REPLACEMENTS - The Pleasure's All Yours (RSD21) NEW SEALED LTD VINYL LP
NEW SEALED RSD 2021 RELEASE
Limited edition pressing 0f 500 black vinyl albums
The Pleasure Is All Yours: The Pleased to Meet Me Outtakes & Alternates is a collection of material from The Replacements sessions for their critically acclaimed fifth studio album Pleased to Meet Me.
Recorded at Ardent Studios in Memphis over a three month period in 1987 - with legendary producer Jim Dickinson - Please To Meet Me was the only album recorded by the band as a trio, after original guitarist Bob Stinson acrimoniously left the band. This Record Store Day exclusive release features an entire LP of outtakes and alternates which have never been released on vinyl before. Tracks include outtakes of Birthday Gal, Beer for Breakfast, plus, alternate versions of Alex Chilton and Can't Hardly Wait amongst others. All audio has been remastered by Justin Perkins. Limited Edition pressing of 10,000 copies.
Side A – A1. Birthday Gal, A2. Learn How To Fail, A3. Run For The Country, A4. Can't Hardly Wait (Alternate Version), A5. All He Wants To Do Is Fish
Side B – B1. Alex Chilton (Alternate Version), B2. I Can Help (Studio Outtake), B3. Lift Your Skirt, B4. 'Til We're Nude, B5. Beer For Breakfast, B6. Trouble On The Way, B7. I Don't Know (Outtake)