Finding the right place for your model train is a big challenge as you need to set your goals for the size of your model and fit the model to the available space. However, if you keep an open mind and set your heart to creating train models, you will find the best places to build a model railroad.
The attic is definitely the hottest place in your house. Humidity does not affect the trains, but it affects the railroads.
The attic in your house is probably unfinished, meaning the electrical wiring and sockets, heating, ventilation, and air conditioning are not installed. Checking these essentials is important before starting to build your model train.
A spare bedroom is the most convenient place to build model trains in your house. You do not have to worry about unfinished layout essentials and accessibility. You can build your model train comfortably since you can easily move around in the bedroom.
However, when using a spare bedroom to build model trains, there is always a possibility that the room will be converted back to a bedroom. It is nice if you can think of model trains that can be converted to furniture.
A vacant garage can be used in building model trains. In some instances, modelers can even fit their model trains together with their cars. Ventilation and air conditioning issues can easily be installed, but having a large garage door can be an issue.
Model trains are beautiful artworks, so a display of your model trains in your living area can be a beautiful art decoration. After you have cleaned up your construction mess, you will appreciate the beauty of your model train.
Similar to the attic, building model trains in the basement can be challenging. However, your basement will most likely have a large amount of space, so it's the perfect spot for your model trains.


text:
Q: Finding rank of a matrix depending on parameters $a,b$ We have the matrix:
$$A=\begin{bmatrix}b & b & b-a\\a-b & -b & a \\ a+b & b & 0\end{bmatrix}\in\Bbb{R}^{3,3}$$
and we want to find the rank of this matrix depending on parametres a,b.
How to solve something like that? Preferably without determinants (I haven't had them in my material yet). Here's what I tried:
So we can do some elementary operations on rows of our matrix and it won't change the basis. So let's add second row to the first row, third row to second row, and second row to the third one. In other words, the transfomation will look like this (where $C_i$ is a row):
$$\begin{bmatrix}C_1 \\ C_2 \\ C_3 \end{bmatrix}\rightarrow\begin{bmatrix}C_1+C_2 \\ C_2+C_3 \\ C_3+C_2 \end{bmatrix}$$
We get something like this:
$$\begin{bmatrix}a & 0 & b\\2a & 0 & a \\ 2a & 0 & a\end{bmatrix}$$
So we see that $rank(A)\le2$. We now want to check linear indepence of the 1st and 3rd column depending on $a,b$. So if $a=0$ and $b=0$ we have $rank(A)=0$. Let's check other cases. If the 1st and 2nd column are linearly dependent, we have $rank(A)=1$ and if they're independent we have $rank(A)=2$. So  let's check for which $a,b$ 1st and 3rd column are linearly independent. We want the following system of equations to be solvable only by $\alpha =\beta =0$:
$\alpha a+\beta b=0$
$\alpha 2a+\beta a=0$
From the 2nd equation we have $\alpha a=\frac{-\beta a}{2}$ and plugging that in into 1st equation we get $\beta(b-\frac{a}{2})=0$ so for $b\neq\frac{a}{2}$ we are forced to conclude that $\beta=0$ and plugging that in into 2nd equation again we get $\alpha a=0$ so for $a\neq 0$ and $b\neq\frac{a}{2}$ we get $\alpha = \beta = 0$ so when parametres meet these conditions $rank(A)=2$ otherwise it's $1$.
Is it correct? Could it be done better, faster? I'll be grateful for any tips.

A: By performing some row operations, you get
$$\begin{pmatrix} b&b&b-a\\
a&0&b\\0&0&a-2b\\
\end{pmatrix}$$
Now let us assume that $a-2b \neq 0$. Then we can get
$$\begin{pmatrix} b&b&0\\
a&0&0\\0&0&a-2b\\
\end{pmatrix}$$
Now further assume $a\neq 0$. Then we have
$$\begin{pmatrix} 0&b&0\\
a&0&0\\0&0&a-2b\\
\end{pmatrix}$$
thus assuming that $b\neq 0$, we see that the rank is $3$.
Now study the cases $a=2b$, $a=0$, $b=0$.
I only treat the first: if $a=2b$ the matrix above  is
$$\begin{pmatrix} b&b&-b\\
2b&0&b\\0&0&0\\
\end{pmatrix}$$
with some operations,
$$\begin{pmatrix} 3b&b&0\\
2b&0&b\\0&0&0\\
\end{pmatrix}$$ has rank $2$ unless $b=0$. The other cases are similar. Thus the rank is $3$ except when one of $a=2b$, $a-0$ or $b=0$ happen then the rank is $2$. If all are zero the rank is zero.

A: Instead of the original matrix
$$A=
\begin{pmatrix}
  b & b &b-a\\
 a-b&-b & a \\
 a+b& b & 0
\end{pmatrix}
$$
we can work with the transpose
$$A^T=
\begin{pmatrix}
  b &a-b&a+b\\
  b &-b & b \\
 b-a& a & 0 \\
\end{pmatrix}
$$
since $A$ and $A^T$ have the same rank. See: Is the rank of a matrix the same of its transpose? If yes, how can I prove it?
Using row operations we get
$$A^T=
\begin{pmatrix}
  b &a-b&a+b\\
  b &-b & b \\
 b-a& a & 0
\end{pmatrix}\sim
\begin{pmatrix}
  0 & a & a \\
  b &-b & b \\
 b-a& a & 0
\end{pmatrix}\overset{(*)}\sim
\begin{pmatrix}
  0 & 1 & 1 \\
  1 &-1 & 1 \\
 b-a& a & 0
\end{pmatrix}\sim
\begin{pmatrix}
  0 & 1 & 1 \\
  1 &-1 & 1 \\
  0 & b &a-b
\end{pmatrix}\sim
\begin{pmatrix}
  0 & 1 & 1 \\
  1 &-1 & 1 \\
  0 & b &a-b
\end{pmatrix}\sim
\begin{pmatrix}
  0 & 1 & 1 \\
  1 &-1 & 1 \\
  0 & 0 &a-2b
\end{pmatrix}
$$
Notice that the step marked $(*)$ is only valid if $a\ne0$, $b\ne0$.
We get that if $a\ne2b$ and $a,b\ne0$ (in the other words, if $a-2b,a,b\ne0$) then the rank is $3$. I will leave the remaining cases to you.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


text:
Q: Excel macro FOR EACH loop to copy paste same range in different worksheets and paste to next column I have several worksheets (Worksheet A, Worksheet B, Worksheet C) in a workbook. I want to copy the same range from each of these worksheets and paste them to another workbook's worksheet, each one going in the next column. I know how to write the code to copy, but the harder part is the pasting. This is what I'm thinking:
sub copypaste ()

dim wb as workbook 'this workbook
dim destination as workbook 'destination workbook
dim ws as worksheet
dim ws1 as worksheet '(in this workbook)
dim ws2 as worksheet '(in this workbook)
dim ws3 as worksheet '(in this workbook)
dim DestWorksheet as worksheet

For Each ws in wb.worksheets  (referring to ws1, ws2, and ws3)
Range.("D1:D231").Copy

DestWorksheet.(I WANT TO PASTE DATA FROM WS1 in Column A in the destination worksheet, Ws2 in Column B, Ws3 in Column3) etc.

A: Don't use copy and paste, that is inefficient
Just put the value of an range in another, in the location you want
DestWorksheet.Range("A1:A231").Value2 = Range("D1:D231").Value2
ws2.Range("B1:B231").Value2 = Range("D1:D231").Value2
ws3.Range("C1:C231").value2 = Range("D1:D231").Value2

A: Try the following. This code uses indexes for both the worksheet and column at the same time, so at the nth sheet iteration values will also be pasted to the nth column.
Bear in mind that I have dropped .Copy. This function is not necessary if you are only copying values and for that use my code is faster. If you do need to copy more than merely values, replace the .Range(.Cells(1, i), .Cells(231, ... line to a copy paste line.
Sub copypasta()

Dim i As Integer
Dim wb As Workbook
Set wb = ThisWorkbook
Dim ws As Worksheet

For i = 1 To wb.Sheets.Count
    With Workbooks(DESTINATION).Sheets(DESTINATION)
        .Range(.Cells(1, i), .Cells(231, i)).Value = wb.Sheets(i).Range("D1:D231").Value
    End With
Next i
End Sub


Home > Destinations > India – An Attack on the Senses!
India – An Attack on the Senses!
Having discovered my passion for travel in my late teens and travelled extensively throughout my twenties, it was with great excitement that I boarded my flight to Delhi last November, keen to see what this new and mysterious country had to offer.
Like many travellers to India, I had done some research before I left (I had read Shantaram and watched Eat, Pray, Love) and felt totally prepared for everything that I was going to experience. What an idiot!!
The journey from the airport to the hotel was an exciting one, having gone straight to Heathrow from work the day before and definitely suffering from jet lag I had splashed out for a private air conditioned taxi. However, as we weaved in and out through the packed streets, there was so much going on everywhere that even in my extremely tired state I couldn't sleep. People watching has always appealed to my nosey side and India has got to be one of the best places in the world to indulge in this voyeuristic past time as people live out their daily lives right there on the roadside in full view.
Having spent half an hour, familiarising myself with the ways of India, from my little air conditioned bubble, I finally arrived at my hotel and with much excitement I stepped out of the car.
That is when it hit me, it is hard to put in words but the best way to explain it is like all my senses where overwhelmed at once. The feel of the heat and the squelchy sensation as I stepped onto the road would have been manageable on its own, but coupled with the near deafening sounds of the city and a smell quite unlike any other I have ever experienced, I was left feeling quite light headed. I immediately blamed the jet lag and hurried into the hotel.
After a restless night listening to the sounds of the city, I woke up very early to take a train to Jaipur. The main train station is where many of the poorer people in the city bed down for the night, so getting there before 5am means making your way between the sleeping bodies to the right platform, it was here that I first experienced a new feeling that I haven't ever felt before when travelling and it made me feel uneasy. It might have been the jet lag, it might have been the overwhelming smell of so many sleeping people in such a packed space, it could have been the fact that my train was over 30 mins late, or maybe I was just getting soft in my old age but for the first time when travelling, I was home sick and wondering if I had made the wrong choice in coming to India. My train eventually arrived and I boarded a dark carriage full of more sleeping bodies, found my bed and drifted off to sleep to the sounds of a young boy shouting "chai, chai" every 5 mins.
When I awoke the carriage had been transformed, it was no longer a dark and seemingly lifeless space, light poured in through the slated windows and the vibrancy of the colours on the clothes of the people all around really brought the carriage to life. From my top bunk view I could see several adults all sat together on a brightly coloured blanket on the floor of the carriage chatting animatedly, whilst 7 children were squashed onto one bunk bed playing some game that seemed to involve tickling and laughing with big bright smiles and khol eyes. One of the older kids caught my eye and egged on by the younger children said "Hello" in perfect English to the sniggers of the younger ones. My response of "Good morning" received twice as much laughter. At this point the oldest lady from the group of adults seated below, looked up and started talking to me. Not only did I not understand her but I didn't even have a clue as to which of the many languages spoken in India she was speaking. Anyway, her meaning was clear, she was gesturing for me to join the other adults on the floor.
Somewhat nervously I got down from my bunk and was immediately followed by all 7 children. As I sat down I spotted a stack of silver tiffen boxes that were being opened. It was then that I realised I had been invited to eat with the family.
It was at that moment, squashed into a small carriage, sitting uncomfortably on the floor surrounded by the smiles of the children, that India won me over. I hadn't yet experienced any of the great things my journey was to offer, my first sight of the Taj Mahal, my first Bollywood cinema experience, I hadn't even tasted any of the great food on offer, or had my first cup of chai, but India had gotten under my skin and I knew right then, sitting on the floor of that train, that this trip would not be my last to this great country.
For Tucan Travel's India tours, click here.
About the Author: Jac is Sales & Marketing Manager for Tucan Travel. She has travelled extensively on Group Tours and independently to South and Central America, Asia, Australia and Africa. You can find her on Google+ or read her other contributions here.


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text:
15 Jan | Thursday
The Government of Dubai Media Office - 14 January 2015
His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, honoured today (Wednesday) the winners of the 2nd Islamic Economy Award.
Initiated by the Dubai Islamic Economy Development Centre (DIEDC) and organised by Dubai Chamber of Commerce and Industry and Thomson Reuters, the award closing ceremony was attended by H.H. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Crown Prince of Dubai.
The ceremony was also attended by H.H. Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum, Chairman of Dubai Airports; President of the Dubai Civil Aviation Authority; Chairman and CEO of Emirates Group, H.H. Sheikh Ahmed bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Chairman of the Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum Foundation, H.H. Sheikh Mansoor bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, H.H. Sheikh Hasher bin Maktoum Al Maktoum, Director of Dubai Information Department, a number of ministers and heads of Government departments and dignitaries.
The awards were presented to a cross-section of global and local business establishments for their innovative world-class business initiatives and ideas that are sharia-compliant and contribute to the social and economic welfare of the Muslim population.
His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid presented H.E. Dr. Zeti Akhtar Aziz, Governor, Malaysian Central Bank, with the Life-time Achievement Award.
The Money and Finance category award was received by the Islamic Corporation for the Development of the Private Sector (ICD) from Saudi Arabia; award in the Food and Health category went to Salma an entity of Awqaf & Minor Affairs from the UAE; and Media category to The 99, an initiative of Teshkeel Media Group from Kuwait. Awards in other categories including Hospitality and Tourism were presented to Halal Minds from Indonesia; Waqf and Endowments category went to National Awqaf Foundation of South Africa; SME Development category to LaunchGood from USA; Islamic Economy Knowledge Infrastructure category to KFH Research from Kuwait; Islamic Arts category to Yusuf Islam, Singer, Songwriter & Author' from the UK.
Hajj Saeed bin Ahmed Al Lootah, founder of the world's first Islamic bank, received a special recognition from H.H. Sheikh Mohammed for his contribution to the Islamic Economy.
His Excellency Mohammed Abdulla Al Gergawi, Chairmain of DIEDC said: "We, in the UAE, are keen to support innovation and creativity in various sectors. Through the Islamic economy award, we aim to inspire the business community to provide innovative Islamic services and solutions. In addition, we offer a platform to showcase and recognize the distinguished efforts of companies engaging in the Islamic economy, in line with the vision of His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum in making Dubai the global capital of Islamic economy."
Al Gergawi added: "The diversity of the award winners validates the competitiveness witnessed in the award categories and reflects the groundbreaking efforts made in different fields of the Islamic economy. We are confident the award will motivate companies to innovate and create ideas for the Islamic economy and adopt best practices to further boost this industry."
During his welcome address, H.E. Hussein Qemzi, Member of the DIEDC Board and Chairman of Awqaf and Minors Affairs Foundation, said: "The Islamic economy award in its second edition comes after one successful year that gave the UAE in general and Dubai in particular credibility in driving the growth of the Islamic economy in banking and finance, knowledge and researches, family - friendly tourism and halal industry."
Al Qemzi added: "the award highlights the wise decision taken by His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum in 2013 to transform Dubai into the capital of Islamic economy. In one year only, the award attracted 248 submissions compared to 148 in 2013 and from 48 countries compared to 31 in 2013. This award would not have been an innovative tool to boost growth in Islamic economy without the efforts of the entities behind it and especially the jury panel which thrived to put in place a judging process based on credibility and transparency. The first criterion adopted in this process was innovation, given its importance in the today's world and its role in ensuring growth and prosperity of the Islamic economy."
H.E. Majid Al Shamsi, 1st Vice Chairman, Dubai Chamber, said: "The importance of the Islamic Economy Award has its roots in the integrated Islamic Economy system which cuts across many economic sectors including infrastructure, tourism, health, food, art and banking services. Interestingly, this comprehensive model is being adopted by many countries of the world in light of the global Islamic Economy's potential GDP value of more than US$8 trillion which clearly shows a growing trend in global consumer habits towards Islamic services and products."
He added: "Dubai has always been on the forefront of promoting and developing the Islamic Economy sector under the directives of H.H. Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, UAE Vice-President and Prime Minister and Ruler of Dubai, and his vision of turning Dubai into a global Capital of Islamic Economy. The emirate is investing in the future and is on the right course to realise its vision in the Islamic Economy sector."
Al Shamsi reiterated Dubai Chamber's commitment to supporting the Government's initiative adding that the organisation of the Islamic Economy Award consolidates Dubai's position as a global Islamic Economy capital. The Chamber believes that honouring those with creative ideas is the right way to support innovation in the diverse Islamic Economy sector which is witnessing an unprecedented growth in recent times, he said.
The independent jury panel, which was headed by H.E. Hussein Qemzi, Member of the DIEDC Board and Chairman of Awqaf and Minors Affairs Foundation, included Khalid Al-Aboodi, Andreas Schotter Ph.D., Prof Dr. Mohammed Azmi Omar, Tayeb Abdulrahman Al Rais, Dr. Fatih Mehmet Gul, Shelina Janmohamed, Dr. Tariqullah Khan, and Fareed Lutfi.
Nadim Najjar, general manager of Thomson Reuters for the MENA region, said: "We congratulate the winners and wish them all success in their initiatives and activities that drive the growth of the Islamic economy sector - both regionally and internationally. The development of the Islamic economy landscape relies largely on the ethical practices that define the framework of businesses. This makes it imperative to recognize successful initiatives and encourage companies and individuals to endorse best practices across the various Islamic economy sectors."
source: Zawya

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Cerebral palsy can't slow this coxswain
Posted on 15 Oct 2015 16 Oct 2015 by Lisa Fratt
More On: cerebral palsy, Dr. Brian Snyder, Dr. Jane Stewart, hip dysplasia, Infant Follow-up Program, Orthopedic Center
For the women's crew team at College of the Holy Cross and rowers everywhere, all eyes are on the Head of the Charles Regatta. It's a long journey for every rower participating in the sport's ultimate competition. But few have come so far as Caroline Laurendeau, the 4'11" coxswain for the Holy Cross Crusaders women's rowing team.
Caroline, who was born weighing just 1 lb. 11 oz., spent the first four-and-a-half months of her life in Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICUs) at Boston Children's Hospital and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center.
Those first few months were hectic and scary for Caroline's family. At one point, she suffered a pericardial effusion — fluid had accumulated around her heart. "The mortality rate from that can be really high," explains Dr. Jane Stewart, director of the Boston Children's Infant Follow-up Program. Physicians at Boston Children's tapped the effusion to release the fluid and save her life.
After Caroline was discharged from the NICU, Stewart continued as the family's primary contact for care. The Infant Follow-Up Program monitors infants and toddlers born prematurely, connecting families with clinical services as needed and also with appropriate early intervention services including developmental specialists, physical therapists and occupational therapists.
Caroline's diagnosis: Cerebral palsy
Shortly before Caroline turned 2, she started showing signs of cerebral palsy. "Caroline didn't put her right foot down and didn't walk until she was 22 months old," recalls her mother Laurie.
Stewart referred Caroline to a neurologist at Boston Children's, who diagnosed her with right-side cerebral palsy. Because Caroline's symptoms included spasticity, or short tight muscles and tendons, Stewart referred her to Dr. Brian Snyder in the Boston Children's Orthopedic Center.
Caroline also had hip dysplasia, a shallow hip socket and abnormally rotated thigh bone, which is common in children with cerebral palsy.
Despite her size and some minor motor challenges, Caroline did her best to keep up with her athletic parents and older brother and sister.
But what Stewart remembers most is Caroline's giant sense of humor. "She was always a pistol. Even at two-and-a-half-years old, she'd have me in stitches with her jokes."
Caroline after surgery to correct her hip dysplasia
Snyder treated her hip dysplasia with physical therapy and serial casting and told her family that she could benefit from surgery in the future.
"Physical therapy and casting is a way to buy time and maintain range of motion by stretching out tight muscles and tendons, but it doesn't address the underlying cerebral palsy," explains Snyder.
Similarly, elective orthopedic procedures can't cure cerebral palsy. What they can do is re-orient muscles, tendons and bones to provide a foundation for more normal motor skills and better functionality.
When Caroline was five years old, Snyder performed Caroline's first surgery, an osteotomy, which entailed rotating the ball of her hip to straighten her femur, and over the next few years, she had three more procedures, including a split tendon transfer, to lengthen tendons in her heel. This allowed Caroline to straighten her foot. "We use physics to our advantage and transfer the muscle tendon unit from the side that is tight due to spasticity to the opposite side," says Snyder.
A kid in constant motion
Through it all Caroline never slowed down. She learned to downhill ski at age 6 and started playing field hockey in middle school.
"My parents encouraged me to try anything I wanted to," says Caroline. It's an approach to parenting a preemie that Stewart wholeheartedly supports. "Be a great advocate for your child. Don't be afraid to question anything and try different things," says Stewart.
Caroline played field hockey until her sophomore year of high school, but as she started to think about the transition from junior varsity to varsity, she realized the sport was taking a toll on her body. She had suffered through pulled muscles and knew that her risk for injury would increase with competition at the varsity level.
From field hockey to rowing
"I wanted to find a sport where I could still be competitive but also reduce my risk of injury."
A field hockey teammate casually mentioned rowing to her. "'You're small,' she said. 'You'd make a good coxswain.' I tried it and fell in love with it."
During her final two years of high school, Caroline rowed with Community Rowing Inc., a large, highly competitive rowing club.
"It took some time to get used to a sport I had never done before and knew nothing about. With the help of some great coaches I picked up on the dialogue and an understanding of what it took to make a good coxswain. Once I had the foreground developed, I used each practice and race to push both myself and my rowers with confidence to be successful," recalls Caroline.
When the time came to look for college, Caroline knew that she wanted to continue rowing. She followed in the footsteps of her father, who played football at Holy Cross and her brother, who played baseball at the school.
She was admitted into the school and earned a spot on its Division I rowing team.
"Rowing has taught me the importance of teamwork, and over time my team has become my family. There is a constant feeling of support that comes from this group of hardworking and dedicated rowers. As a result of constantly being around such hardworking, determined people, I have learned a sense of discipline as well as learning to hold myself to a high standard, which I hadn't done in the past," explains Caroline.
"Caroline is a great example of how orthopedic surgery at the right time can help people have a more functional life, whether it's elite sports, Special Olympics or walking independently in the community," says Snyder.
Her experience, along with her fierce resilience, is commemorated on a plaque hung in the Hall of Hope outside of the NICU at Beth Israel.
Twenty years after she was born, Caroline reflects on the sentiment on the plaque.
I love the sense of hope it offers. I want to reassure parents that just because a child has challenges in the beginning doesn't mean she can't have a rewarding life.
Learn more about the Boston Children's Cerebral Palsy Program.
On the move: Care for cerebral palsy helps enhance Joseph's mobility
PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE ROMAN FAMILY Joseph Roman is happiest on the basketball court — in fact, he loves the sport ...
Team Irvin: Care for cerebral palsy helps him reach his goals
Boomer is a legendary thunderbird. Paws is a scruffy, fun-loving dog. Nestor is a friendly owl. But these three different ...
Make way for Choo-Choo Charlie
"My first thought when we had Charlie so early was, 'why is this happening?'" Kate Wittemann recalls. "But now I ...


text:
Q: Django queryset foreign key What is the proper way to do reverse lookups in Django for foreign key relationships?  For instance suppose i have the following 2 models.
class Songs(models.Model):
    title = models.CharField(max_length=200)
    artist = models.CharField(max_length=200)
    genre = models.ForeignKey('Genres')

class Genres(models.Model):
    genre = models.CharField(max_length=100)

If I wanted users to be able to search songs based on genre how would i do that?
For example the below is what i want to do, but i know it doesn't work because the genre column of the Songs table is an ID, not a keyword.
song = models.Songs.objects.get(genre='Jazz')

A: Use the double underscore syntax to reach the genre field in the related model:
Songs.objects.filter(genre__genre='Jazz')

For the readability purposes and consistency, consider renaming the genre field to name:
class Genres(models.Model):
    name = models.CharField(max_length=100)


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text:
Bound for South Australia Journey of a lifetime
Bound for South Australia > Issues & themes
There are many interesting issues raised in the writings of the passengers and crew onboard the nine ships we are following here. The journals tells much about the beliefs, hopes and experiences of these people and about the social and economic features of this period as England expanded its empire. Some of these issues and themes are explored in more detail below. You can also use the links in the right hand column to find weekly posts related to the themes, issues and topics listed them.
British Empire and colonisation
The ships setting sail in 1836 to found the Province of South Australia were part of the global network of trade, communication and governance that was the British Empire.
childbirth in the nineteenth century
When men and women married in 1830s Britain they generally assumed that children would follow promptly and regularly. The prevailing sense was that children just 'came' and that there was little to be done about it.
Colonists' perceptions of Aboriginal people
The diaries of those who make landfall in South Australia in 1836 include a number of observations about the Aboriginal people they encountered, from the women companions of the Kangaroo Island sealers to the 'Encounter Bay tribe' (Ramindjeri) and, later, the Kaurna people of the Adelaide plains.
disciplining servants
In the early nineteenth century employers had far greater power to discipline their servants than we would now see as acceptable. In Britain relations between employers and their workers were governed by Masters and Servants Acts.
Faith and providence
Those sailing on the nine ships that left Britain for South Australia between February and July in 1836 came from a society in which faith in the Christian God was a central part of life for the majority of people.
First landings – the story of Elizabeth Beare
History is full of disputed events and the story of the first landing on Kangaroo Island is one of these. In the post for 27 July 1836 we included excerpts from both of the contemporary sources that recorded this event.
Kangaroo Island before 1836
The earliest documented non-Indigenous habitation in what is now known as South Australia was the overwintering in 1803 at American River, Kangaroo Island, of the American brig Union.
livestock on board
The ships that sailed to South Australia in 1836 carried livestock to provide fresh food for passengers in cabin class. Animals included cows, sheep, hogs, sucking pigs, fowls, turkeys, ducks, geese, goats, rabbits and horses.
marriage in 1830s Britain
In early nineteenth century Britain marriage was an assumed goal for both women and men at all social levels. Men sought domestic comfort, companionship, sanctioned sex and the respectability that being a 'family man' brought: women sought economic security, companionship and the status accorded to married women.
Religion and the first colonists
The role of religion in the future South Australia was an important preoccupation of members of the various associations promoting the province in the 1830s.
Social hierarchies
Britain in the 1830s was a society structured by rank, wealth and class. The life of a Lord was very different to that of a labourer or milkmaid on his estate, or that of a factory worker. Access to everything from education to political rights was determined by a person's 'station in life' – the social position the person was born into – and wealth.
Whaling and sealing were two of the earliest industries developed in Australia. Within a few years of the establishment of the convict settlement at Port Jackson, whaling ventures began to explore coastal waters around New South Wales and Tasmania, sometimes venturing as far as New Zealand.
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Seeking support with these problems, E.I.*, a young resident of Quba Region of Azerbaijan, turned to the Resource Centre – a centre where vulnerable citizens are provided with free legal support.
Thanks to her lawyers' efforts, E.I. not only managed to make her ex-husband pay his maintenance, but even managed to increase the amount he pays, based on the fact that her child has hearing problems and is therefore legally entitled to more financial support. They also managed to obtain written permission from her ex-husband to take their child abroad if the treatment was necessary.
"The support I received at the Resource Centre exceeded all my expectations. I was hoping that they would help me get the maintenance I was supposed to get but the fact that they managed to increase the amount was a pleasant surprise! Life in rural areas is not easy and every penny counts," says E.I.
"Now that I have the guarantee of receiving the maintenance and written permission from my ex-husband to take my child abroad, I will try to collect together some money and take my daughter to Iran for the treatment," she adds.
To help E.I.'s mother, who has a severe disability, the lawyers managed to get her the benefits foreseen by the law and free treatment at health resorts in the country. Her mother has already undergone one course of treatment and will have another one soon.
The Resource Centre, which is located in Baku and helps Azerbaijani citizens to solve their socio-economic issues free of charge, works within the framework of the "Enhancing the capacity of national actors in promoting and effectively protecting human rights" project.
With a budget of €1 million, the project is funded by the European Union and implemented by the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR), a leading UN agency in the human rights sector. The project started in February 2018 and will run for three years in cooperation with the Commissioner for Human Rights of the Republic of Azerbaijan (Ombudsman).
The Resource Centre provides a wide range of services including free legal advice and consultations, assistance to applicants in drafting lawsuits, motions and other documents necessary for court proceedings, assistance in preparing and submitting written requests to various agencies and court representation if necessary.
It also offers space for various events organised by local non-governmental organisations that focus on human rights and legal aid and hosts training seminars for fledgling lawyers.
The Resource Centre's main target audience is made up of economically disadvantaged citizens, people with special needs and pensioners. However, the centre's employees try to help everyone who comes to them.
"Our principle is not to let anyone leave our office empty-handed," says Tair Aliyev, one of the Resource Centre's lawyers and a member of the Azerbaijani Bar Association.
Aliyev says that sometimes it takes only 15 or 20 minutes to explain to the person what rights they have in a specific situation, which agencies they need to contact and which documents to take with them. Many prefer to continue on their own after that.
He says that there have also been cases when people have addressed the Resource Centre with requests that were unrelated to legal consultations. For instance, people have asked for help with treating their child or getting a job. "In such cases, we have to explain to people that they should address other agencies for that and we refer them there," he explains.
As it stands, 80% of cases dealt with by the Resource Centre's lawyers relate to social and socio-economic rights of citizens. These cases include targeted social assistance, disability benefits, restoration of people's rights and property issues.
The project covers all state tax fees for processing paperwork, court proceedings and so on.
The Resource Centre is located in Baku, but its specialists regularly organise consultations in the country's regions. There were eight consultations in the regions between February and October 2018. Work in the regions is closely coordinated with the Ombudsman's offices, as well as the local offices of the country's Bar Association.
E.I.'s story is not the only success story of the Resource Centre. During its nine months of work, around 300 cases have been opened. Many of them are already complete.
For instance, the centre's lawyers helped Aydin Mageramov, a retired man from Ganja, to eliminate debt that was registered in his name by mistake. The deductions he was supposed to pay to the State Social Protection Fund amounted to 500 manat (approximately €260), which is higher than an average salary outside the country's capital. Within a month, the Resource Centre's lawyers had the debt decreased to a tenth of its size.
The centre's lawyers are also helping Baku resident T.A.* to deal with accusations from her relatives that she did not let her sisters see their retired father. According to T.A., however, their father did not want to see them.
"My sisters came to me with the police, accusing me that my father did not want to see them because of me. But I had nothing to do with it. It is his personal decision. I think that it is tied to the fact that my sisters did not keep some promises they gave him," says T.A., without going into the details of their family relations.
The Resource Centre's lawyers are helping T.A. to defend her innocence in court.
Chief human rights adviser of the OHCHR in the Southern Caucasus, Vladimir Shkolnikov, says that the project has two goals: to help vulnerable groups of Azerbaijani society to assert their rights and to promote a culture of providing free legal aid in the country.
"The culture of providing free legal aid on civil cases to vulnerable groups of the population is only developing in Azerbaijan, and our project aims to promote this process," he says.
Shkolnikov cites the example of the pro bono system, popular in many Western countries, according to which law firm specialists have to work with vulnerable groups of the population for a certain number of hours free of charge.
"Participating in the pro bono system provides a positive image and status to the company," he adds, expressing his hope that the system will be established in Azerbaijan in the near future as well.
EU Ambassador to Azerbaijan, Kestutis Jankauskas, highlights that human rights are rights of each and every one of us, and they need to be protected, as they are an indispensable part of modern society. "We need to make sure that every person, particularly from vulnerable groups – people with less income, people with disabilities, pensioners – has an opportunity to defend his or her rights," he adds.
On 10 December the Universal Declaration of Human Rights celebrates its 70th anniversary. It was adopted by the United Nations General Assembly in 1948 and is the first global definition of rights enjoyed by all people without exception. The declaration confirms the dignity of each person, proclaims the universality and indivisibility of his or her rights.
"All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law," the document says. It was adopted as a guideline for which all member states of the organisation should strive. Azerbaijan has been a fully-fledged member of the UN since March 1992.
Main phone line: 051 500 08 58 (once a call is received to this number, the caller is called back so that he/she is not charged);Email: merkez.rc@gmail.com.


"An amazing class! Perfect balance between tranquility, flexibility, balance and core strength. There is never a class that I leave unsatisfied. Michele is a wonderful person and teacher. He is helpful and is very encouraging."
"I wish I had the time to attend more classes.... Mickey is such a fabulous instructor very easy going, relaxed and knowledgable. I started out as a total beginner and with Mickeys guidance I have improved so much and enjoy attending yoga every week. Each class is different and in such a relaxed atmosphere, I highly recommend Sparkly Yoga!"
"Michele is an awesome instructor. These classes are everything I look for in a yoga class. Not too serious, not just about the physical, while still being challenging enough to work up a sweat (if you want to), great dose of the spiritual and energetic and the mindset of what yoga is in a practical way. I want more from a yoga class than just a work out or a stretching class or a lecture, I want to leave feeling fabulous physically and emotionally and spiritually and I always leave his classes feeling like that. Part of the appeal is he goes off and does the great retreats with inspiring people in far flung locations, and I get to live a little of that by learning from what he has learned."
"Sparkly yoga retreat was an amazing life changing experience, you feel uplifted, happy for life you meet the most fantastic people with same goals in mind. The retreat was such a rejuvenating experience for the mind and the soul."
"A wonderful challenging Yoga experience that I will never forget. The love and warmth of all the people involved, the locations, food and extra activities were beautiful and exciting. A life changing experience at 68 years of age."
"Have been telling all my yoga students to go on a Sparkly Yoga Retreat because they are so AWESOME!"
"A brilliant authentic experience and time to practice, learn and improve your Yoga, inner and outer strength. Thankyou for a wonderful period of self discovery, great friends and access to a hiden treasure in the Gong Valley."
"I had a really beautiful week in Gong Valley, I have come away feeling lighter, happier and inspired. Great teaching, great food and great people, I highly recommend re-treating yourself in Gong Valley! "
"First time on retreat with Mickey and will definitely be coming again. The energy he provides creates something more than simply getting away from the hustle and bustle of the city: it's like visiting another world. Thank you so much for this weekend, and look forward to the next time!"
"Mickey creates a wonderfully warm and welcoming space for all yogini's, new and experienced. Between dancing ecstatically, sniffy pots, gong baths and satsangs, I was snorkelling in an ocean of bliss by the end"
Mickey has such beautiful energy. He is incredibly disarming and open. And was able to support the group well who are at different skill levels. Thank you Mickey "
"The Sparkly Retreat set in a picturesque spot only an hour from Melbourne was a truly transformational experience for me. I arrived not knowing what to expect but discovered an environment of support and love. Mickey is a warm and caring yoga teacher who has created a nurturing space in which to practice yoga. It was a weekend of delicious vegetarian food, invigorating and restorative yoga sessions and the new friendships formed have given me some beautiful memories. I have come away feeling refreshed and clearer of mind. I am already planning my next visit! "
"This was my first yoga retreat experience and I absolutely loved every second of it. Feel blessed and would recommend Mickey's retreat to anyone."
"This was the first time I have ever been on a yoga retreat and I will definitely go again. It was a welcoming, safe, spiritual and very healing place. "
"I try to keep a minimal public profile online - I'm reluctant to publicly put my name to anything online, especially something so personal. What you do is amazing, though. This is potentially life changing stuff. Thank you. What an amazing weekend :) Namaste,"
"Maitripa Retreat Sep 2011 provided me with an outstanding opportunity to work on and improve my yoga practice and knowledge. It was a wonderfully informative, enjoyable, relaxing and peaceful weekend with the perfect balance of activities and introspective time. Thank you to Michele and the group that attended for a truly memorable and rewarding experience in a perfectly tranquil setting. I look forward to the next one!"
"The retreat was an amazing introduction to yoga, with just the right balance of interesting activities and alone time. I came away feeling cleansed and in love with the world and people."
"Michele's retreat charged me up on so many different levels. I intensified my practise in an unexpected way because he constantly challenged me, but not to a point of pain. He stimulated my spiritual practice with readings and recordings that were secular and applicable. He worked individually with me in the group by correcting certain postures but also encouraged the group to work together in a connected conscious way. Michele's smile and gentle enthusiasm made me feel safe and willing to try things I wouldn't possibly do on my own or in another setting. Nature's backdrop, and because it was Spring, was just a magnificent inspiration to be quiet and soak up the environment with all of my senses. Thank you kindly for sharing your knowledge with me Michele."
"I thought the whole weekend was so thoughtfully planned and executed. Michele has such a beautiful and calming spirit, whilst maintaining a great sense of humour. The experience was a wonderful mix of silence and time with self, and getting to know some other lovely souls."
"A well needed weekend, full of great company, surroundings and sensory delights. Simply bliss."
"Thank-you for your time and giving us the chance to learn yoga. i thought it was a good split between asana and pranayama/meditation. Awesome experience and was never confused by your explanations at any point."
"I really appreciated the warmth and giving/accepting energy coming from you, it made the class comfortable and supportive, and fun! Thanks for this week."
"I liked the relaxed and friendly nature of the Sparkly yoga. It was informative/educational as well as physically beneficial."
"It was a very Special class/week, thank you Mickey. Even though i missed two classes i managed to make them up! I feel pretty damn rejuvinated thanks. Now to focus on the sygils! "


To celebrate National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, we're taking a look at five of the crazy peanut butter and jelly-inspired creations chefs across the nation have been coming up with!
This warm, flaky pasty filled with creamy peanut butter, bananas and tart raspberry jam is topped with whipped cream and sure to hit the sweet spot.
This grilled sandwich using calamata olive bred is filled to capacity with PBJ's house almond butter, applewood smoked bacon, goat cheese and fig jam.
It was only a matter of time before a chef fancied-it-up and added foie gras to the classic PB&J flavor combo! Served with satisfyingly crunchy toast points, this combination of housemade peanut butter, blackberry jam and foie gras is far more decadent that your schoolyard snack.
The chefs at Recette have taken the classic sandwich from the playground to the adults' (brunch) table with their over-the-top french toast reinvention.
With crunchy peanut butter and strawberry jelly, this sandwich is the closest to the original in the bunch. However, a deep fry in waffle batter does give this sandwich a tasty 2.0 upgrade!
What do you think? Would you try any of these takes on peanut butter and jelly?


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There's a Secret Island in the Middle of Texas, and It Actually Looks Pretty Awesome
Son's Island in Texas
August 12, 2017 by Nicole Yi
A post shared by Sons Island (@sons.island) on Jul 20, 2017 at 1:30pm PDT
Texas, you're just full of surprises, aren't ya? We were confused by the tiny town of Marfa, which features a Prada store alongside a dirt road, and now we've learned about a secret island situated in the middle of nowhere. Visitors can find Son's Island, a private three-and-a-half-acre paradise, at Lake Placid between New Braunfels and Seguin (about an hour drive from Austin). Here, you can rent one of the 40 lakeside cabanas, kayak, paddleboard, BBQ, camp, and more. It actually looks like a blast based on the photos on Instagram!
The cabanas are available to be rented by individuals, but it's definitely ideal for large groups since they can accommodate up to 15 people. Each Hawaiian-style hut comes with a picnic table, hammock, lounge chairs, BBQ pit, comfortable seating, bar top and stools, water and electricity, and a private swimming/fishing dock. Day rentals ($145 from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.) are reserved far in advance, so make sure you snag yours ASAP if you plan to visit.
It's also important to note that Son's Island isn't open all year round. It's only available for use in the Fall (September, October, and November) and Spring and Summer months (March through August), making it the perfect group vacation idea.
See what to expect in the photos ahead!
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There's a Secret Island in the Middle of Texas, and It Actually Looks Pretty Awesome originally posted on POPSUGAR Smart Living
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The Age of the Great Sphinx at Giza in Egypt - 11
The Sphinx seen from behind, facing east to the sunrise. A first thought among the alternative thinkers was that the Nile flooding might have washed around the Sphinx in some satisfyingly remote epoch, but this idea had to be given up when it became clear that to erode the monument up to the neck floods of twenty metres or more would have been required over the Nile Valley. To perpetrate erosion on the core blocks of the mortuary temple of Khafre, up the Giza Plateau, would have taken floods of thirty metres or so. Even the most hardened alternative thinkers seem to have haulked at that. If erosion by water is your choice, it has to be rainwater.
Dr Schoch was not the first geologist to conclude that the Sphinx site had been subject to rainfall erosion. One geologist even resurrected Mariette's nineteenth century notion that the Sphinx might be an old naturally eroded rock formation minimally dressed up to look like a man-made carving. But Dr Schoch rightly emphasized that the excavated enclosure in which the Sphinx stands proves the monument to have been artificially carved in the first place and then eroded - he thinks by rainwater.
Between the Sphinxs forepaws, the Dream Stela still stands before the badly eroded breast of the monument, under the much better preserved head. Dr Schoch first saw the site, from the viewing platform for visitors to the Sphinx, in 1990. Work on site in winter 1992/3, alongside seismographic work by others that produced some of those readings suggestive of cavities in the bedrock, led him to believe that the Sphinx and its enclosure walls showed unmistakable signs of erosion by rainwater run-off, in much wetter times than today or during the Old Kingdom, between 7000 and 5000 BC. Date of erosion does not of itself confirm date of carving, so the Sphinx might be older than Dr Schoch's estimate of the time-span of its erosion. Between about 5000 BC and 10,000 BC, Egypt's climate fluctuated between relatively wetter and drier periods, so there were wetter times than today's in which rain erosion might have taken place if the Sphinx's body was already carved. It should also he noted that even in Old Kingdom times up to about 2300 BC, as is evidenced by plant and animal species depicted in the tomb paintings, the weather of Egypt was wetter than it has been since. But even now, winter rains pose something of a threat in Egypt- I remember seeing the side of a modern mud-brick house in Luxor taken out entirely by collapse after heavy rains. The ditch alongside Khafre's causeway evidently needed to be blocked in Old Kingdom times against the possibility that rainwater drainage could run down into the newly cut Sphinx enclosure, according to Professor Selim. It did rain in the Old Kingdom, and more than today. But Dr Schoch concluded that only the heavier rains before 5000 BC could have produced the erosion pattern of the Sphinx and its enclosure walls.
Egyptologists, of course, can see no cultural context at all in which the Sphinx could have been carved before 5000 BC, or 3000 BC for that matter, and several good reasons for putting its carving at about 2500 BC. Before about 10,000 BC, conditions were cold and dry in Egypt, so erosion of a pre-existent Sphinx is hard to imagine before that time - indeed, the pre-existence of the Sphinx before 10,000 BC is itself an idea all but impossible to entertain.
Dr Schoch made his ideas accessible to the world of Egyptology in an article in the summer 1992 issue of the American magazine KMT (which takes its title from one of the ancient Egyptian names for Egypt, Kemet, with inserted vowels, meaning the 'Black Land' - the fertile soil watered by the Nile). He began by observing that the Sphinx body and the walls of the enclosure exhibit a pattern of weathering commonly associated with exposure to rainwater run-off, showing a rolling and undulating vertical profile with many vertical and sloping channels where joints in the bedrock have been opened up.
He contrasted this situation at the Sphinx with the state of weathering seen at other rock-cut features of the Giza Plateau (such as various Old Kingdom tombs) where erosion by windblown sand has picked out areas of poorer quality rock to leave the anciently cut facades and doorways otherwise not markedly damaged, and certainly not displaying the rounded and undulating weathering of parts of the Sphinx.
These observations, as we shall see, naturally led on to arguments about precisely what levels of the limestone beds of Giza could be equated with what others in different parts of the necropolis: for the beds do not lie horizontally all over the whole site, but slope down from north to south and west to east; moreover, ancient quarrying has left them discontinuous over the area.
Thus it is not always easy to decide that, say, a certain Old Kingdom tomb away from the Sphinx is cut in the same rock as the body of the beast. When they are not of the same rock, comparison of their states of erosion is more complicated than simply saying that one is evidently eroded by the wind since Old Kingdom times and the other must be eroded by water since seven thousand or more years ago.
In his KMT article Dr Schoch took the view that the serious erosion going on at the Sphinx today is a comparatively recent phenomenon, of perhaps the past two hundred years, associated with changes in the water-table and with pollution. He noted that erosion by condensation of dew and subsequent evaporation, bringing crystallization in the pores of the rock and spalling off of surface flakes, is evidenced in the interiors of some of the rock-cut tombs of Giza, but he concluded that this process at the Sphinx today could not account for the highly rounded weathering on the body and the enclosure walls that spoke to him of the action of rainwater over a long period.


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Miksa Henrik bajor herceg (Maximilian Heinrich von Bayern) (München, 1621. december 8. – Bonn, 1688. június 5.), a Wittelsbach-ház bajor ágából származó herceg, a Bajor Választófejedelemség címzetes hercege (Herzog von Bayern). 1650-től a Kölni Érsekség hercegérseke és választófejedelme, Hildesheim és a Liège-i Püspökség hercegpüspöke, Berchtesgaden hercegprépostja, 1657-től a Stablo-Malmedy Birodalmi Apátság hercegapátja, 1683-tól Münster hercegpüspöke. Katolikus főpapként az ellenreformáció harcosa, a tridenti zsinat határozatainak aktív támogatója és megvalósítója, ugyanakkor szembeszállt a Római Kúria befolyásával. Fejedelemségeit ezen alapelvek alapján irányította, bizalmas tanácsadóinak véleményére döntő mértékben támaszkodva. Erősen franciabarát külpolitikát folytatott. Az utódjelöltjei között kirobbant hatalmi harc a Kölni Érsekséget belesodorta a pfalzi örökösödési háborúba.

Származása, családja

Miksa Henrik bajor herceg édesapja a Wittelsbach-házból származó VI. Albrecht bajor herceg (1584–1666) volt, felesége révén Leuchtenberg tartománygrófja, majd címzetes hercege (Albrecht VI. von Bayern-Leuchtenberg), V. Vilmos bajor herceg (1548–1626) és Renata von Lothringen hercegnő (1544–1602) fia, I. Ferenc lotaringiai herceg (1517–1545) unokája.

Édesanyja VI. Albrecht felesége, Mechthildis von Leuchtenberg hercegnő (1588−1634) volt, VI. Georg Ludwig von Leuchtenberg tartománygróf (1563–1613) és Maria Salome von Baden őrgrófnő (†1600) leánya. A szülők házasságából öt testvér született:

 Maria Renata (1616–1630)
 Karl Johann Franz (1618–1640)
 Ferdinand Wilhelm (1620–1629)
 Miksa Henrik (Maximilian Heinrich, 1621–1688), utóbb Köln hercegérseke és választófejedelme
 Albrecht Sigismund (1623–1685), Regensburg és Freising püspöke

Apjának, Albrecht hercegnek legidősebb bátyja, I. Miksa herceg, választófejedelem (1573–1651) hosszú ideig gyermektelenül élt, így azt várták, hogy a Bajor Hercegség trónját Albrecht fiai fogják örökölni. Ferdinánd Mária trónörökös herceg (1636–1679) születése meghiúsította Albrecht reményeit.

1646-ban férfi ágon kihalt a leuchtenbergi tartománygrófok vérvonala, a tartománygrófság az 1634-ben elhunyt Mechthildis hercegnő özvegy férjére, Albrecht hercegre, Miksa Henrik apjára szállt, aki azonban önmagát ezután nem Leuchtenberg tartománygrófjának (Landgraf von Leuchtenberg), hanem Leuchtenberg hercegének (Herzog von Leuchtenberg) címeztette. 1650-ben az apa átadta Leuchtenberget bátyjának, I. Miksa választófejedelemnek, cserébe Haag Birodalmi grófságért (Reichsgrafschaft Haag). Miksa Henrik további fontos rokoni kapcsolatokkal is bírt. Unokaöccse volt Ferdinánd hercegnek (1577–1650), Albrecht herceg bátyjának, Köln hercegérsekének, akinek trónját később, 1650-ben meg is örökölte. Fél-unokafivére volt Franz Wilhelm von Wartenberg grófnak (1593–1661), Ferdinánd érsek (morganatikus házasságból származó) fiának, Osnabrück és Regensburg hercegpüspökének. Nagybátyja volt Ferdinánd Mária választófejedelem fiainak, II. Miksa Emánuel bajor választófejedelemnek és József Kelemen hercegnek. Az utóbbi unokaöccs szerezte meg 1688-tól (nem kevés bonyodalom árán) Miksa Henrik kölni érseki székét.

Ifjú évei
Születésének pillanatától kezdve egyházi pályára szánták. Már kisgyermekkorától számos, javadalmazással járó egyházvezetői tisztséget (Domherrenpräbende) kapott. 1622-től Köln-ben, 1626-tól Konstanzban és Straßburgban, 1627-ben Halberstadtban, 1629-ben Brixenben, Salzburgban és Münsterben, 1632-ben Hildesheimben, 1641-ben Lüttichben (Liège), majd 1657-ben Paderbornban is tagja lett a káptalani testületeknek. Nevelését apja udvarában Rudolf von Rechberg és Georg Christoph von Haslang preceptorok végezték, mindketten a jezsuita rend tagjai.

1637-ben nagybátyjának, Ferdinánd kölni hercegérseknek udvarába került. 1638-ban a kölni Szent Gereon apátsági templom prépostja lett, e tisztséget 1650-ig, érseki kinevezéséig megtartotta. Megkapta Konstanz és Straßburg dómpréposti tisztségét. Kölnben a Háromkirályokról elnevezett Gymnasium Tricoronatum tanintézetben tanult, itt a diákkongregáció prefektusa lett. 1637-től a Kölni Egyetemre járt. 1643–1649 között teológiát tanult Löwenben (ma: Leuven). 1649-ben Lüttichben a dóm dékánja lett.

A kölni hercegérseki szék megszerzése

Rokonának, Wartenberg grófnak erőteljes támogatásával Miksa Henrik több koadjutori (azaz öröklési joggal felruházott püspöki) tisztséget kapott: 1633-ban a Hildesheimi Püspökségben, 1642-ben a Kölni Érsekségben, 1649-ben a Liège-i Püspökségben. Nagybátyának, Ferdinánd hercegérseknek elhunytakor (1650) Miksa Henrik örökölte egyházi és világi fejedelmi tisztségeit: megválasztották Köln hercegérsekévé, Liège (Lüttich) és Hildesheim hercegpüspökévé, és Berchtesgaden hercegprépostjává. 1654-ben a Stablo-Malmedy apátság főapátjának, II. Vilmos bajor hercegnek, Ernő bajor herceg házasságon kívüli fiának koadjutora (örökségének várományosa) lett. 1657-ben megörökölte a főapáti méltóságot, de átengedte Franz Egon von Fürstenberg grófnak. Miksa Henrik bejelentette igényét Freising, Münster és Paderborn hercegpüspöki székeire is, de a Római Kúria meghiúsította e törekvéseit. 1683-ban, Ferdinand von Fürstenberg püspök (1626–1683) halála után Miksa Henriket megválasztották a Münsteri Hercegpüspökség uralkodójának, de püspöki beiktatásához nem kapta meg a pápa engedélyét, így csak világi fejedelme lett a Münsteri Püspökségnek (Hochstift Münster), de nem kapta meg a Münsteri Püspökség (Bistum Münster) egyházfejedelmi méltóságát.

Ifjúkorától kezdve szakértője és szenvedélyes gyűjtője volt az ékszereknek, drágaköveknek és érmeknek, ő maga foglalkozott gyémántcsiszolással. 1667-ben inkognitóban Amszterdamba utazott, alkímiai ismereteit gyarapítani.

Megjegyzendő, hogy ellentétben több Wittelsbach-házi herceggel, akik a kölni érseki székig jutottak, Miksa Henrik valódi elkötelezettséget érzett papi hivatása iránt. Egyik elődje, Ernő hercegérsek (1554–1612) még együtt is élt szeretőjével, Gertrud von Plettenberggel. Ilyesmire utaló adat Miksa Henrikről nem maradt fenn.

Egyházpolitikusi életműve
Főpapi hivatásának betöltéséhez sietve pótolnia kellett a hiányzó papi fokozatokat. 1651 szeptemberében pappá szentelték, majd októberben a bonni székesegyházban Fabio Chigi bíboros, pápai nuncius – a későbbi VII. Sándor pápa – püspökké szentelte. (Köln hercegérsekeinek sorában száz év után ő lett az első felszentelt püspök).

Elődeihez hasonlóan az ellenreformáció elkötelezett híve volt, és támogatta a tridenti zsinat által elhatározott egyházi reformokat. Beiktatásától 1682-ig rendszeres egyházmegyei szinódusokat (tanácskozásokat) tartott. Georg Pauli-Stravius püspökkel szinódusi rendelkezéseket (Synodalstatuten) dolgoztatott ki, évszázadokra meghatározva a kölni egyház napi gyakorlatát. Az érsek a tridenti zsinat szellemében szigorúan szabályozta a klérus működését, a házasságkötési és hitbéli gyakorlatot, bevezette a megújított római rítust, korlátozta a fődiakónusok hatalmát.

A szerzetesrendek közül elsősorban a ferencesekre és a jezsuitákra támaszkodott, saját gyóntatóit is ezek soraiból választotta. 1651-ben az érsek jezsuita missziót telepített Arnsbergbe, a Vesztfáliai Hercegség fővárosába. 1654-ben engedélyezte a minoriták beköltözését a sauerlandi Brilonba. 1661-ben a protestánssá lett Soest templomának Mária-kegyszobrát a werli kolostorba hozatta, amely ennek révén zarándokhellyé fejlődött. 1673-ban Bonnban megalakult az első jezsuita gimnázium.

Miksa Henrik tervbe vette a kölni dóm továbbépítését, de erre nem került sor, helyette az érsek jelentős adományokkal járult hozzá a dóm belső díszítéséhez, kincstárának gazdagításához, a Háromkirályok kápolna (Dreikönigskapelle) átépítéséhez. Ugyanakkor erőteljesen szembeszállt a Római Kúria és a Kölnben rezideáló pápai nuncius hatalmi igényét. 1658-ban, I. Lipót császár megválasztásakor az érsek – titkárán, Peter von Buschmannon keresztül – érvényesíteni tudta befolyását a császár és a fejedelmek jogait szabályozó bulla (capitulatio caesarea) fontos rendelkezéseire. A római befolyás elleni küzdelmének csúcsán, 1660-ban egy német "nemzeti zsinat" összehívását tervezte (ez azonban nem valósult meg.

A Német-római Birodalom és a Francia Királyság között
Politikai döntéseiben Miksa Henrik általában befolyásos tanácsadói – elsősorban a von Fürstenberg fivérek, Franz Egon és Wilhelm Egon, valamint Peter von Buschmann kancellár – véleményét követte. Fürstenbergek és támogatóik – akiket ellenlábasaik Egoniták-nak gúnyoltak – következetesen a Francia Királyság érdekeit képviselték a Német-római Birodalmon belül, működésük eredményeképpen a Kölni Hercegérsekség elkötelezett franciabarát külpolitikát folytatott.

1653-ban és 1664-ben személyesen is részt vett a Birodalmi Gyűlés Regensburgban tartott ülésein. 1654-ben a választófejedelmek augsburgi gyűlésén IV. Ferdinánd főherceg német királlyá választását támogatta. A koronázást a hagyományoknak megfelelően maga a választófejedelem, Johann Philipp von Schönborn, Mainz érseke végezte, emiatt Miksa Henrik sértetten elhagyta a gyűlést.

Ezután Franciaországhoz közeledett. Az 1658-as császárválasztáson XIV. Lajos jelöltjét, Ferdinánd Mária bajor választófejedelmet támogatta. Később átállt I. Lipót császár oldalára, cserébe az uralkodó felkenésében és koronázásában kikötötte a kölni választófejedelmek elsőbbségét a mainzi érsek előtt. Ugyanebben az évben belépett a francia érdekeket támogató Rajnai Szövetségbe. Országa területén menedéket adott a Fronde felkelői elől menekülő Mazarin bíborosnak. Miksa Henrik francia orientációját tanácsadói, a Fürstenberg fivérek tovább erősítették. 1666-ban, majd 1671-ben és 1672-ben a hercegérsek titkos egyezményeket kötött Franciaországgal. Ezekben Franciaország jelentős pénzjuttatást biztosított a Kölni Érsekségnek, ennek fejében a fejedelemség csapatok kiállítását vállalta. Franciaország egy Hollandia elleni háborúra készült, a Kölni Választófejedelemség területét is felvonulási területté kívánta tenni, Miksa Henrik a hollandok által elfoglalt területeinek visszaszerzését tervezte, rekatolizációs szándékkal.

Az 1672-ben kitört francia–holland háború fejleményei azonban nem váltották be Miksa Henrik reményeit. Országai csatatérré váltak, területüket mindkét fél csapatai pusztították. A Vesztfáliai Hercegségben fekvő Werl városát már 1672-ben megostromolták Brandenburg és a Birodalom csapatai. Neuss városát francia seregek foglalták el. 1673-ban a birodalmi csapatok elfoglalták Bonnt, az erődített érseki székvárost is (1679-ig tartották megszállva). Miksa Henriknek Kölnbe (birodalmi szabadvárosba) kellett menekülnie. 1674-ben békekötésre kényszerült a hollandokkal.

XIV. Lajos 1679-től kibontakozó ún. "egyesítési politikája" a Miksa Henrik uralma alá tartozó Liège-i Püspökséget (Hochstift Lüttich) is fenyegette. A Fürstenberg fivérek ennek ellenére fenntartották az érsekfejedelem franciabarátságát, amely 1683-ban és 1684-ben újabb szövetségi szerződésekben realizálódott.

Tartományainak kormányzása

Köln és a Rajna-vidék

Egy évszázaddal korábban, 1583–1588 között pusztító háború zajlott egyfelől a protestantizmusra áttért Gebhard Truchsess kölni hercegérsek és támogatói, másfelől a Wittelsbachok és katolikus szövetségeseik között. Az elpusztított Kölni Választófejedelemség végzetesen eladósodott, a fejedelem saját kamarabirtokai is zálogba kerültek. Miksa Henrik, akárcsak két elődje, Ferdinánd és Ernő hercegérsekek nagy erőfeszítéseket tettek az államháztartás egyensúlyba hozására. 1672-re az adósság egy részét sikerült visszafizetni, több elzálogosított birtokot visszaváltottak, sok sérült várat, erődítményt és kastélyt helyreállítottak. A fejedelemség államadóssága 1672-től, a francia–holland háború kitörésétől kezdve azonban ismét megugrott.

Az érsek több törvényt és rendeletet hozott, 1653-ban a feljebbviteli bíróságokat és semmítőszékek működését szabályozta, 1663-ban perrendtartást bocsátott ki. 1669-ben bányászati rendtartást adott ki, 1683-ban párbajtilalmat írt elő. Általános földmérést végeztetett, amely 1669-re készült el, ez szolgált az adókivetés alapjául egészen 1803-ig, a Kölni Hercegérsekség megszűnéséig. Uralkodása alatt Miksa Henrik sohasem adta fel igényét Köln birodalmi szabad város fölötti főhatalomra. Egy császári bizottság közvetítésével az Alsó-rajna–vesztfáliai körzet 1672-ben tető alá hozott egy békés kiegyezési tervet (Kendenicher Vergleich), de a birodalmi kamarai bíróság nem hagyta jóvá. 1684-ben Miksa Henrik francia csapatok küldésével fenyegette a várost, de eredménytelenül. Köln városa ragaszkodott jogaihoz.

Vesztfáliai Hercegség

Miksa Henrik 1653–1683 között a Kölni Választófejedelemséghez tartozó Vesztfáliai Hercegségben is hasonló törvényeket hozott, emellett több helyi érvényű rendelete is ránkmaradt. 1655-ben vásárt engedélyezett a sauerlandi Brilonban, 1665-ben megerősítette a werli sókereskedő patríciuscsaládok (Erbsälzer) ősi kiváltságait, 1671-ben Arnsberg város zsidó lakosainak szabadságjogait (Judenprivileg). 1656-ban az elemi iskolákat, 1659-ben a vámszedést, 1672-ben a tűzőrség rendjét szabályozta rendeletileg.

1652–1684 között az érsek gyakran látogatta meg a hercegséget. Sauerland központjában, Arnsbergben iparűzésre alkalmas területeket jelölt ki, és nagy vadasparkot alakított ki. Újjáépíttette a harmincéves háborúban elpusztult arnsbergi várat, a munkák 1663-ra fejeződtek be. Fejedelmi vendégei számára felépítette a Hirschberg vadászkastélyt, bár önmaga nem volt szenvedélyes vadász. Új sóbányát nyittatott, emiatt összeütközésbe került a werli Erbsälzerekkel, akik kiváltságaik védelmében a birodalmi kamarai bíróságnál tettek panaszt. A jogvita még Miksa Henrik elhunytakor is eredménytelenül folyt.

1667-ben az érsekfejedelem megjelent a vesztfáliai rendek gyűlésén. Értékes serleget ajándékozott a rendeknek, saját kezűleg csiszolt féldrágakövekkel díszítve (Arnsberger Landständepokal). Az ajándékozással összefüggő politikai, pénzügyi tárgyalások tartalma közelebbről nem ismert. Tény viszont, ez a rendi gyűlés új adók kivetését határozta el, ugyanakkor a hercegség rendjei jogot kaptak saját közigazgatási rendeletek kibocsátására, a vesztfáliai kancellária önálló pecsétet használhatott. A szilárd jogállású helyi rendekkel szemben az érsek nem érvényesíthetett abszolutisztikus eszközöket, hanem egyezkedés útján érte el céljait.

Liège, Münster, Hildesheim

A Liège-i Püspökségben (Hochstift Lüttich) Miksa Henrik állandó nehézségekkel küzdött. Uralkodásának kezdetén lázongás tört ki, ezt az érsek katonai erőszakkal nyomta el. 1654-ig hercegségét átvonuló ellenséges (holland, lotaringiai és svéd) csapatok zaklatták. A francia–holland háborúban a fejedelemség ismét hadszíntérré vált, 1675–76 között lotaringiai csapatok tartották megszállva.

Különösen feszült viszony alakult Miksa Henrik és Liège (Lüttich) városa között. A várost Miksa Henrik még 1649-ben fegyveres erőszakkal hódította meg nagybátyja, Ferdinánd hercegérsek számára, a megszálló katonaság véres atrocitásokat követett el a lakosság ellen. 1650-től Miksa Henrik – nagybátyja örökébe lépve – Liège város ősi szabadságjogait, a kormányzást abszolutista rendszerűvé alakította. Tartományúri hatalmát egy citadella megépítésével is érzékeltette. 1676-ban a francia megszálló csapatok kivonulása után felkelés tört ki, a citadellát lerombolták, a városban folyamatossá vált lázongás. Sorra törtek ki a fegyveres felkelések, 1679-ben, 1682-ben majd 1684-ben. A város a birodalmi udvari bírósághoz fordult, és kérte, kapjon a Kölni Hercegérsekségtől független jogállást. A császár közvetítési kísérletei Miksa Henrik hajthatatlansága miatt meghiúsultak. 1684-ben Wilhelm Egon von Fürstenberg kancellár könyörtelen katonai erőszakkal végleg megtörte a város ellenállását.

1683-ban Miksa Henrik  birodalmi tallért fizetett a münsteri székeskáptalan tagjainak, ezzel elérte, hogy őt válasszák a város püspökfejedelmévé. Ez lett volna az ötödik püspöki szék, amit megszerez. Münster felszentelt püspöke, a tudós Nicolaus Steno szimóniának minősítette az eredményt és elmenekült a városból. Jelentést tett XI. Ince pápának, aki ennek alapján elutasította a választás szentesítését. Miksa Henrik így csak világi fejedelme lett Münsternek, püspöke nem. Új választási kötelezvényt (capitulatio) írt alá. A münsteri Dóm közelében új kancelláriát építtetett, de ő maga sohasem látogatta meg a Münsteri Püspökséget, annak ügyeit saját bonni érseki udvarából irányította.

Hasonlóképpen, távolból kormányozta a Hildesheimi Püspökséget (Hochstift Hildesheim). Alig néhányszor látogatta meg a várost. 1665-ben rendeletileg átszervezte a püspöki udvari bíróságot (Hofgericht), 1655-ben újabb rendeletben szabályozta a kancellária, a rendőrség és a bíróságok működését. Hildesheim protestáns többségű város volt, 1651-ben Miksa Henrik elfogadta és törvényerőre emelte a Hildesheim és Braunschweig között még 1643-ban létrejött konzisztóriumi egyezséget (Konsistorialrezess), amely egyenlő jogokat adott az eltérő hitvallásoknak. Az érsek ugyanakkor igyekezett a katolikusokat erősíteni. 1656-ban visszahívta a korábban elűzött kapucinusokat. A városi tanács erre a katolikusok vallásgyakorlását nehezítő intézkedésekkel válaszolt.

Elhunyta, utódlása
Miksa Henrik emberkerülő, bizalmatlan természet volt, idős korára személyiségének e jegyei felerősödtek, ehhez melankólia és hipochondria járult. 1673–83 között visszavonult a kölni Szent Pantaleón apátságba, napjait szerény körülmények között lelki gyakorlatokkal és alkimista kísérletekkel töltötte.

Az 1680-as évek elejétől Miksa Henrik romló egészségi állapota miatt előtérbe került az utódlás kérdése. Maga az érsek Wilhelm Egon von Fürstenberget jelölte koadjutornak (azaz utódlási joggal felruházott püspöknek), saját rokona, József Kelemen herceg helyett. Fürstenberget megválasztotta a dómkáptalan is. Lipót császár azonban érvénytelennek nyilvánította a választást, a Római Kúria pedig húzta-halasztotta a döntést.

1688. június 5-én Miksa Henrik érsek Bonnban elhunyt. Elődeihez hasonlóan a kölni dómban, a Háromkirályok kápolnájának előterében temették el. (A kor szokása szerint zsigereit külön, a bonni jezsuiták templomában (Namen-Jesu-Kirche), szívét az altöttingi kegykápolnában helyezték el).

Halála után új választást tartottak. A káptalan szavazásra jogosult tagjainak többsége Fürstenbergre szavazott, vele szemben Lipót császár a kiskorú József Kelemen herceget, szövetségesének, II. Miksa Emánuel bajor választófejedelemnek öccsét ismerte el. A törvényesen megválasztott Fürstenberg katonai akcióval megszállta Bonnt és más fontos városokat. A császár és a birodalmi választófejedelmek gyűlése (Kurfürstenkollegium) Ince pápához fordult, aki 1688. augusztus 26-án érvénytelenítette Fürstenberg megválasztását, és József Kelement ismerte el hercegérseknek. Lipót császár megerősítette a pápai döntést. XIV. Lajos király azonban hadsereget küldött Fürstenberg támogatására, kirobbant az augsburgi liga háborúja, amelynek több szakaszában a Kölni Választófejedelemség területe is hadszíntérré vált. József Kelemen csak egy évvel később, birodalmi és holland csapatok beavatkozása révén tudta elfoglalni érseki székét. Fürstenberg a párizsi Saint-Germain-des-Prés apátságba vonult vissza.

Jegyzetek

Művei
 Ertz Stiffts Cöllnische Rechts-Ordnung, Jansen, Bonn, 1663. Digitalizált változat: Egyetemi és Tartományi Könyvtár, Düsseldorf (ULBDD).
 Decreta Et Statuta Dioecesanae Synodi Coloniensis : sub Maximiliano Henrico archiepiscopo Coloniensis anno 1662 celebratae. Busaeus, Coloniae Agrippinae MDCLXVII (ULBDD:urn:nbn:de:hbz:061:1-83393).

Irodalom

 Günther Christ: Maximilian Heinrich, in: Neue Deutsche Biographie (NDB), 16. kötet, Duncker & Humblot, Berlin 1990, , S. 496–500
 Heinrich Josef Deisting: Maximilian Heinrich, Herzog von Bayern, Kurfürst und Erzbischof von Köln (1621–1688). Eine biographische Skizze. In: Der Arnsberger Landständepokal von 1667. Eine Stiftung des Kölner Kurfürsten Maximilian Heinrich von Bayern für das Herzogtum Westfalen. Arnsberg 1997.  S. 79–96.
 Rudolf Lill: Wittelsbach am Rhein. In: Kurfürst Clemens August. Landesherr und Mäzen des 18. Jahrhunderts. Köln 1961, S. 62.

Külső hivatkozások
 Szócikke a catholic-hierarchy.org-ban

Választófejedelmek
Miksa Henrik
Bajor történelmi személyek
1621-ben született személyek
1688-ban elhunyt személyek
Müncheniek
Hildesheimi püspökök
Kölni érsekek
Liège-i püspökök
Hercegek

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


The questions Reed asked and the things he said in his wondering about Michele didn't hurt me at all (other than the fact that he was hurting). Why? BECAUSE NONE OF IT WAS ABOUT ME. This knowing is what enables me to be fully present for my children during such times. This point is key for adoptive parents to get — deep down in our bones. This was about my son and his innermost feelings. He will have them whether or not I am comfortable with him having them. The question is, can he trust me to feel them on the outside of himself?
Allow, encourage, enable your kids to feel their feelings about their birth families, and do it imperviously, as you do when discussing other hurts they might have that also have nothing to do with you: a broken toy, being spurned by a friend, not making the team. The feelings about birth parents are likely more intense, but they are no more about you than these other scenarios are. The questions and wondering about the birth family are not about you and therefore take away nothing from you. Take yourself out of the equation and it all becomes so much simpler.
3. The myth of strength.
I am not any stronger than any other parents. It's just that I get, deep in my bones, #1 above.
…because, hey, see #1. And decide to enjoy rather than endure these moments of adoptive parenting. Opening your heart sets you up for success much better than will gritting your teeth.
5. Don't dread your child having these feelings, either.
If your child doesn't ever encounter these emotions, great. If they DO, however, why psych yourself (and your child) out ahead of time? Besides, why would you want to deprive your child of all the soul-deepening and self-knowledge that comes from having feelings, which we label as "good" or "bad", but can simply be guideposts for how to live?
Do not ever be afraid of your child feeling her feelings; fear only her NOT feeling her feelings or getting stuck in them. Help your child keep the emotions in motion. It's the repression and stagnancy that cause problems.
How did I figure out #1? By listening to adult adoptees. Andi, Andy, Jeni, Amanda, Lost Daughters, Torrejon, others. Don't internalize everything you read but do listen for gems that will help you understand what may one day be felt by your child, as well as the underlying reasons.
7. Don't underestimate the strength of your child.
A wise school teacher tells me that a child will rise or fall to the level of expectation you set. Notice the strength of my son in these two conversations. He has all that within him. I just held the expectation that he would tap it.
If your child's story has some difficult components to it, then when you do talk about the hard stuff, envelop him in love and be open to deep wisdom. Also, see the strength and resilience of your child. He needs to see you reflect those traits he already has back to him.
And if you have any further notion that I am "special" in a way that you're not, please read my Hotel Rwanda post. Anyone strong enough to survive infertility and the adoption process and to undertake parenting is able to rise to adoptive parenting moments like these.
Don't you tell me otherwise.
This is great! I'm an adult adoptee, and I think your #1 point is lost on many adoptive parents – I know it was on mine. There was always a feeling in my house growing up that I was supposed to move on. That I had parents that loved me and therefore I didn't need to think about my birth parents. And I wasn't even adopted as an infant – I was four years old when I was adopted! So I had four years of bouncing between my birth mother and foster families before I went to my adoptive family. I've talked with my mom about this recently, and she admits that she didn't know any better, and that based on what she knows now, she would have handled it very differently. She thought that all she needed to do was love me, and show me a good home, and I would be fine. Unfortunately that's not enough sometimes.
I admire you for handling these conversations with your son with such wisdom and grace, and especially for sharing them here for the rest of us. Thank you.
#1. Yes. I think many people don't understand my attitude toward our relatively open adoption because they don't understand the difference.
Cough… I also think you're special. But I also think that this post offers fantastic advice so I just stumbled it. I hope it gets out there to a lot of people who need it.
Special or not, you inspire me. Please continue to post these because I get so much from them.
We adopted our son at birth just over 2 years ago and while I KNOW that I need to separate the birthmom's pain (perceived) from my pain (real) from my child's pain (perceived), I've had an incredibly hard time doing it. I get sucked into birthmom blogs, adoptee blogs etc…where the pain is laid out there for me to absorb like a big fat sponge.
The thing I do know is that I actually do not know how my son's bmom is handling her pain (and really it's her's to handle not MINE). Same goes for my son who is by all accounts exceptionally happy and healthy. Now of course, he does not actually know what adoption means yet so those tough questions will come later. What I DO hope is that the adults in this relationship have processed their own pain before he gets to a point of questioning so we can, as you said, allow him to express himself fully without worrying about OUR feelings.
Again you rise the bar! Wow, what insightful, important things and tools. Laying it all out for anyone that adopted, gave up for adoption, was given up for adoption. Plus it's told with such real life world advice, things that make iit ok to broach the subject, and not fear the things we have control over anyway.
I don't have much personal experience with adoption but all your advise above is equally applicable for any parent in a challenging emotional moment with their child. I was particularly impressed with your advise to "keep the emotions in motion". That concept is universally beneficial in weathering emotional storms. Thanks.
I am so touched by your candidness, Lori. You tell your story with such an open heart. Many lessons would be worthwhile reading for any parents. I remember you before the kids, and I always knew you'd be a great mom. Thank you so much for sharing your life with all of us.
I'm so glad I have your blog to turn to for advice! Even though we don't have our child yet, your blog is a fount of information and, trust me, I'm soaking it all in. I know it's going to prove invaluable in the years to come. Thanks Lori!
You are right about being more scared for kids not showing any feelings. It is hard to think what is going on in their minds and how it is affecting them. I am very grateful for the advices. I haven't yet gathered the strength on how to tell my son about his birth parents. Please pray that I do.
Love, love, love, love, love this post!
Thank you for this… I need to remember this when my son asks about his dad. It is not personal to me. His feelings about that situaiton are not a reflection on me or on how he feels about his step-dad (who is raising him now). Thank you….
How did I not comment on this yet! What a fabulous post. Thank you for sharing this with us. I know it will help a lot of people who struggle coming to terms with the feelings of their adopted children. Your wisdom and insight on this is so impressive – I am honored to read about your experience and the experience of your wonderful children.
I wonder how different things would have been for me if I had grown up with a mother who viewed adoption the way you do… You know how much you mean to me and how happy I am that your children have you.
I love you. And i love love love this post. Should be required annual reading for adoptive parents.
I second what Han said – the principles of "it's not about me" and keeping emotions in motion are helpful for parenting through any strong or potentially overwhelming emotions as well. Thanks for this.
And #1 applies to many situations. If I can only remember that 'in time', I wouldn't short fuse myself so often.
Hi Lori … just popping over from the creme de la creme. What a wonderful trio of posts! Yours were the first that I've read from the list.
So many gems here … and it all applies to general parenting as well as open adoption. I especially love this: A wise school teacher tells me that a child will rise or fall to the level of expectation you set. So true. So important to have faith in them so they can believe in themselves.
Also being a birth mother myself. We found it a little easier for us all to sit down and talk to my son. It helps him understand that he's not losing a family but only gaining a huge family that deeply loves him and will always be there for him at any given time.. It's important to try to involve the the Birth mother. It may help your child not feel these empty feelings. That is if the the birth mother is involved. Hope that can help with any adoption parents out there that have these questions and feel these feelings.
When I put my son I should have put our son. Sorry for the incorrect term.