text:
FAB FEATURE WRITER
- Andrew Pixley
CROSSWORD WHIZ
- David McAnally
Alison Bean, Marilyn Burge, Tim, Ian Greaves
5. FEATURE ARTICLE - Kitten Kong: 1971-style.
6. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY - That Old Black Magic
8. GOODIES CROSSWORD - a Goodie challenge to start the year with.
QUOTE: At least two guest stars utter this phrase: "I only ever wanted to be a zookeeper!"
(a) Which parts are they playing and which episodes are they in?
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode on "South Africa".
(b) What is the inscription on the sign for the South African Tourist Board?
(c) What do they have in South Africa instead of black and white minstrels?
(d) What is the new form of segregation implemented once all of the black people leave South Africa?
(e) Who does this new form of segregation affect?
(f) Which classic Goodies song is played while Bill is fleeing from the police?
(g) How does Bill propose to bring Tim and Graeme down to his size?
IT'S GIBBON UP TIME!
Well here we all are in the year 2001 and a bit ... and while there is no sign yet of a young Bill Brooke-Taylor delivering patriotic speeches with a crazy hairdo or a Graeme Oddie crashing through the door in gridiron gear playing the all-new fad sport of 'rolleregg', the new millennium has still ushered in a few changes for the 'Good Ship Saucy GROK' even though it remains safely moored outside the five mile limit.
The main change is that as of today, I am stepping down from my position of Acting President of the 'Goodies Rule – OK' fan club and former club Vice President Catherine Carter has been appointed as the new club President. Catherine has been putting in a great deal of effort "behind the scenes" with welcoming new members and answering various enquiries to date and I know that she will do an excellent job with continuing on the tremendous work of founding club President Alison Bean.
I was asked by a fellow club member this week if my resignation was due to "a scandal involving cigars, stained dresses and strange women?!" I should be so lucky! :} Sadly it's due to a far less exciting reason in that there has been a considerable amount of restructuring in my workplace recently and the next few months look like being a rather turbulent period with possibly a lot of demands on my spare time, especially if transfer to another worksite or redundancy suddenly become choices that I have to consider.
However I will still be very much involved with the fan club as I am continuing with my role as Editor of the C&G. All newsletter contributions and enquiries specifically about the C&G can be sent to me at <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>; however all general enquiries about the fan club or 'The Goodies' itself should be directed to <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> or to Catherine directly at <president@goodiesruleok.com>. Up-to-date contact information is also available from the club website.
As I have been Acting President for the past eight months since Alison left for her working holiday in the UK, there is a Kitten Kong-sized list of people that I would like to thank for their assistance and encouragement. Special thanks to Catherine for her great work as Vice Prez, Alison for her support from afar, Tim Aslat for the effort that he has poured into the new website, the GROK committee members, and Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden for their fabulous support of the club, but also sincere thanks to all club members who have been in contact with their enquiries, ideas and encouragement.
Unfortunately there has been the odd occasion where people have taken the opportunity to use me and/or the fan club up to obtain information or other items that they require, only to fail to deliver on their own promises to assist me and/or the club in turn. Thankfully these have been isolated instances and the vast majority of people who have been in contact with me have been genuine, so in the words of Lady Constance de Coverlet: "the pleasure is all mine!"
I look forward to continuing to bring you the C&G news each month and ask that you support our new President Catherine in the same way that you have supported myself and Alison in the past. Best of luck Catherine, it will be a lot of fun!
ASK TIM A QUESTION!
Our resident Goodie, Tim Brooke-Taylor, has kindly agreed to another Question & Answer session for the C&G, so for those of you who couldn't make it to the Kitten Kon convention in Melbourne last Easter (or even for those of you who did), here's your opportunity to ask Tim that question about 'The Goodies' or one of his other projects which you've always longed for an answer to! Send your questions for Tim in to <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
Signed photographs of Graeme Garden are now available for purchase through the fan club. These are 13cm x 18cm (5x7) black and white portrait photos of Graeme post-Goodies (1990's) and are available for $15 each (including postage). Ordering information can be obtained via <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
There are also a limited number (5) of signed Goodies group photos remaining for sale. These are 13cm x 18cm (5x7) black and white photos of the three Goodies in their t-shirts from the 1970's with the signatures of Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor and are available for $45 each (including postage). These will be sold on a "first come, first served" basis with a limit of one photo per applicant, and expressions of interest can be sent to <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>. Ordering information will then be sent out to the first five applicants, then sent to others in turn down the list if any of the initial applicants decide not to purchase the photo.
BILL IN PLATFORMS@XMAS
(by Kay Dickinson - posted to Goodies-l on 28th December)
Here's the transcript of the interview with Bill Oddie, from the Platforms@Xmas programme on BBC1 on 21st December.
The piece on The Goodies opens with shot of the Goodies riding the trandem, pulling along a pink trailer with "Goodies 5-minute Christmas" sign on it. The presenter of the programme announces that, "The major comedy contenders were The Goodies - slapstick stooges for the spacehopper generation".
Bill Oddie: There was this obsession, I remember, within the music business, of getting your record out - that perfect timing, which was probably released mid-October. [adopts bad cockney accent] It'll take a few weeks y'know to start moving y'know - you'll get a bullet after 3 or 4 weeks and then y'know you'll be up the charts, then you get Top of the Pops, you're made - and whoever said that, in that disgraceful cockney accent, was absolutely right! [laughs] 'Cos that's really what happened to us!
Clip of Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me is played, along with more clips from the 1972 Christmas Special - of Bill, dressed as Father Christmas, stuck up the chimney, with Tim and Graeme trying to pull him down through the fireplace, succeeding only in stretching his legs, trying to push him back up and having his head pop in and out of the chimney pot as they pull his legs up and down. A clip is then shown of Bill, still dressed as Father Christmas and now out of the chimney, taking presents out of his sack for the little orphan boy they are doing their 5-minute show for, finding a girl in the sack, whom he then chases, laughing evilly. The final clip is of the same girl, being carried by Bill to the bed the Goodies have set up for the little orphan boy, throwing her on it, and pouncing on her - Tim and Graeme have to come to her rescue.
Bill's voice over the clips explains:
... doing that very consciously, where I was getting together a "lets write a naughty Christmas record" and so that's how Father Christmas came about - it was an antidote to what we thought was happening at the time. I'm sure "Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me" was banned from playlists, yeah I'm sure it was [giggles] well, fair enough, it was a pretty naughty record, and it got naughtier - it was one of those where you say, well sorry, just because at the end it's going "ohh, ohh" y'know - instead of "Oh, Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me" - at the beginning it sounds fine, but it just ends up with people going, "ohh!" [laughs] - what is this implying? That the large jolly man in the red suit is not all that he seems, you know? [giggles] - it was a pretty dodgy record actually, I just remember the line [gruff voice] "I can't stand little girls - bigger ones are better!" which was the naughty Father Christmas. I look at the cuttings from the following year when we did another Christmas record called, what was it, "Make A Daft Noise For Christmas"
Clip of The Goodies performing "Make A Daft Noise", all wearing the Union Flag waistcoats, with Tim peeking over the presenter's shoulder as he announces them.
Bill: It didn't do anything like as well - it "charted" as they say - I think it was in the top 20 for a couple of weeks, something like that.
There was a big interview in Melody Maker, with me saying, "Yes, we have sold out" [laughs] - from what?! [laughs again] what integrity did we ever have? [continues giggling]
GOODIES RECORDS FEATURE
(by Ian Greaves - posted to Goodies-l on 3rd January)
The latest issue of Record Collector Magazine, #257 (dated Jan 2001) contains a three page feature on The Goodies records, written by Martin O'Gorman.
E-mail admin@parkermead.co.uk for the subscriptions department. I'm sure they can sort out copies.
CLOCKED WITH A POLICEMAN!
(by Kay Dickinson - posted to Goodies-l on 8th January)
A report from Saturday's Independent states:
"The birdwatcher Bill Oddie, 59, has escaped a driving ban after being clocked at 86mph in a 50mph zone. The former Goodie was caught on the M5 near Bristol but magistrates in Yate, Gloucestershire, spared him a ban, imposing a £300 fine and six penalty points."
At least he didn't get five years' hard labour for it - although had he struck up a chorus of "Wild Thing" when he was pulled up by the police, he may have had them falling at his feet and got away with it! The report doesn't say when Bill was actually caught - if it had been Christmas Eve, he might have been on his way to visit Jane Fonda on his skateboard and could have claimed mitigating circumstances!
PRIMED FOR MORE GOODIES REPEATS
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
After a short absence, "The Goodies" series is returning to the satellite channel BBC Prime. The series is currently scheduled to be shown at midnight on Fridays (or, technically, early Saturday mornings at 00:00 to 00:30).
To see a complete list of countries where BBC Prime is available please check their website at www.bbcprime.com. BTW, people might be interested to learn that BBC Prime is now subtitling "The Goodies" in the local language in several countries. I think one of the more interesting ones to consider is that Hebrew subtitles are available in Israel. I'd have loved to see the translators working out how to write the Northerisms from the "Ecky Thump" episode in Hebrew!
JUST WHAT MAKES THE GOODIES SO GOOD?
(from "TV Week" magazine circa 1982)
A mixture of The Goons and Monty Python humor laced with madcap stunts from silent movie greats like Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton.
"It's a show for all grown-up kids and adults who aren't so grown up.", Goodies producer Bob Spiers said.
"I'm always amazed that millions of kids go out of their way to watch The Goodies, because it's really a show for adults."
"The scripts are quite risque, particularly in the latest series."
"we have had a field day with the royal family, apartheid, and violence on the football terraces which we expect to stir up quite a bit of controversy." Spiers revealed.
The crazy trio – Tim Brooke-Taylor with his English public schoolboy looks, Graeme Garden behind those specs as the scientific whiz-kid and Bill Oddie, the token rebel non-conformist – have survived for more than 10 years.
In fact, they are more popular than ever.
"I guess their secret formula for success is that they get away with murder. Adults who think they are adults but are really kids at heart see them as they would love to be sometimes – daredevils game enough to try anything for the price" Spiers said.
"Kids see them as they would like adults to be. Imagine having The Goodies in charge of your school?"
"They live in a world of the absurd and in these days of terrorism and mayhem we need to laugh at ourselves as much as we can."
Although The Goodies recently switched from the BBC to London Weekend Television, the format will not change.
In the new series there's a new companion for the mad trio – a little robot called appropriately "Robot".
One episode is all about Robot giving birth to another robot that develops into a delinquent robot. Work that one out.
"We had a lot of fun making that. I think a lot of fans don't realise the tremendous amount of work Tim, Graeme and Bill put into writing the scripts before we add the stunts." Spiers said.
"Tim's a perfectionist and will work on a script until he thinks it is perfect. There are no midway standards."
The Goodies product takes months of painstaking work from the script through to the filming and editing.
"We all work as a team and I think that's why The Goodies have remained at the top." Spiers said.
He thinks the latest scripts are the best so far.
"We have three more episodes to make to finish the series. It's got to the stage where fans can't get enough."
The Goodies have recorded more than 70 programs with the BBC.
TIM'S COMEDY LINKS – EPISODES 3 & 4
(by Kay Dickinson)
For the third programme of this Radio 4 series, where TBT links his two loves, golf and comedy, Tim is at the Cavendish Golf Club, in Buxton, Derbyshire - his home town. This particular programme might well have been subtitled, "Tim's Confessions"....
He is about to do one of the most nerve-wracking things a golfer can do - drive off in front of the secretary and vice-captain of the club. Fortunately, his shot is good and during the round, landmarks on the course soon get him reminiscing. The "Cresta" toboggan run brings back childhood memories, foremost of these, listening to "Toytown" on the radio, with Larry the Lamb. Cue clip of said Lamb, having golf explained to him - Tim had been taken to a recording of the show in Manchester as a boy, and couldn't understand why these old people were putting on silly voices, "much", as he says, "like the ISIHAC audiences probably ask themselves today!" Larry the Lamb was real to him, and he couldn't connect these people with his radio chums - "as I said, I was very young, and quite clearly very stupid!"
The course at Buxton is criss-crossed with old dry-stone walls, as much of the countryside in those parts is, and these brought on his first comedy connection - "Over The Garden Wall" with Norman Evans - Tim used to go to see him in pantomime at the Palace in Manchester and plays a clip - "Les Dawson in an earlier lifetime" comments Tim.
Another pantomime great of the time was Patrick Cargill, who used to go up to Tim's house to use their radiogram to play the records of the day and work them into his pantomime. Cargill always used to tell a story about Tim as a 6 or 7 year old boy - at a party at the Brooke-Taylors' house late one night, the young Tim was observed walking into the room, stark naked, sleepwalking. At the time, it was thought that to wake a sleepwalker would cause irreparable damage (belly-button aversions??), so he was left to walk around the room and up to the coal bucket, into which he proceeded to pee (apparently, with much style), then making a dignified exit and disappearing back upstairs to bed - his first public performance!
Cargill is best know for his appearance as the doctor in Tony Hancock's classic "The Blood Donor" - an extract from which was played.... "A pint? That's very nearly an armful!"
As a child, Tim loved the comic strip magazines - one of the highlights of his life, he says, was the "Cor!" magazine strips of The Goodies - every week a new adventure would pop through the letterbox, which was nothing to do with him, "it was just fantastic!" When they were asked by the artist what they really wanted, they said they wanted it to be like the Beano - where you got the main story, but you also got lots of visual jokes going on in the background too. He was lucky as a child that his mother would get him the comics - most of his friends weren't allowed them - or if they were, it had to be the Eagle. Tim joined the Eagle Club, "I'm giving a bit away here – it's a bit like sitting in the psychiatrist's chair" he says - he had a problem with bed-wetting at the time and was terrified he might win one of their trips abroad and have people discover he was a bed-wetter! - the memory of which convinces him that he's going to miss the next shot!
This reminds his caddy of watching a film about the high jinks of rock stars on their jumbo jets, and the terrible things they get up to - "do you know, if someone's sleeping, and you dip the fingers of one of their hands in a cup of warm water, they will inevitably wet themselves?" There's definitely people Tim says he wants to try that on, so don't nod off in his company!
His caddy is also doubling up as the sound recordist during this round, asks Tim what he remembers of "those radio lot" - Tim mentions Arthur Askey, "a cartoon character in real life" - and a clip of Askey singing "Silly Seagull" is played.
Tim remembers playing at the Cavendish from being a teenager - though the social life that revolved around the golf course was more to do with the parents. Tim's father played golf, although Tim doesn't think he must have been *that* good, because he was asked to play once with a very good group, which elicited the remark, "ey, Brooke-Taylor - travelling first class on a third class ticket, are you?" from the Clubhouse.
Class, says Tim, "has always been a good standby for comedy" - Ronnie Barker, Ronnie Corbett and John Cleese famously looked up and down on one another, and in "At Last The 1948 Show" Tim, Marty Feldman, Graham Chapman and John Cleese tried to outdo one another as to how poor they were in "Four Yorkshiremen". The "Goodness Gracious Me" team tackle both class and race, and TBT particularly enjoyed "The Fast Show"'s take on one-upmanship, middle class style, of which he plays a clip - essentially a middle-class "Four Yorkshiremen" (Four Home Counties Men?) Where they try to outdo each other as to how middle-class they all are "My father was an accountant and I used to have piano lessons" "Well, *I* had cello lessons!" "Huh, well my family used to do recitals, with me on the viola - as a quintet!".
Two of Tim's greatest heroes are Dennis Norden and Frank Muir - who managed to use grand words in a common setting and give them a whole new meaning - "It's gross interpetude" "What's interpetude?" "Trouble with women" "Well, what's gross interpetude?" "Trouble with 144 women" - he wishes he'd written that!
Muir and Norden also wrote "Take It From Here", with Jimmy Edwards, Dick Bentley and June Whitfield - of which an extract is played.
An interesting comparison, presumably unintentional, is drawn with many of our first experiences of the Goodies when Tim says of Tommy Trinder and his ilk, "you can't quite judge it, because you're judging it through a child's eyes" and goes on to say, "but what is quite nice is that you find that families pass on comedy and their kids laugh at first and then secretly start to listen to their parents' comedy tapes."
Tim thinks that he must have been influenced a lot by what his mother listened to - he can't remember exactly what it was, except that she laughed a lot and he can remember sitting listening to a lot of music hall, with some very good comedians - "there is a danger" he says, "of being snooty about things now that were right for the time, people change their minds and suddenly, things that they despised they get quite moist-eyed about, because it actually reminds them a very, very good and happy time". As well as his mother's influence from an early age, Tim's older brother Martin had a huge effect on his influences later on - but more of those, Tim promises, in the next programme.
As Tim's father died when he was 12, he and his mother spent a lot of time together as companions - and they both loved Al Reed, and a clip of his is played.
Not all comedy stands the test of time, and although Tim enjoys the comedy of today, 10, 20 and 30 years ago, he wonders how much of it will last. "That Was The Week That Was" was a satirical programme from the early 60s which Tim never really found funny, despite it being daring and interesting - but now he says it sounds "straight embarrassing".
Comedy in the 50s suffered, says Tim, from being a younger member of the American family - you got people performing like American double acts - Morecambe and Wise did this in their early days and Abbot and Costello combined the fear of Frankenstein and the monsters - and at the same time you were giggling, because you were nervous on their behalf - "I'm a bit like that still, I still giggle under pressure! I'm to be found in the wings on a first night - giggling! Pure nerves - something slightly goes wrong and I'm giggling!"
As for Tim's golf, he did quite well - with a birdie on the sixth and played a good shot in front of the clubhouse "so [of course] nobody will have been watching"
Tim closes the programme with a song from Benny Hill - "in his early days, a truly innovative comedy genius".
For the final programme of the series, Tim is at St Andrews, "The home of golf" – he'd often wondered what the home of golf was like, "does it have a downstairs loo? Satellite TV - *and* a stairlift? What sacrilegious thoughts!"
He's on the first tee of the old course, and he's not nervous – he's seen too many others make a complete hash of it here; one of the "crazy gang" - Monsieur Eddie Gray, who was known for practical jokes, once picked up his ball there, threw it in the air and swung at it as if with a baseball bat - some of the elderly members, says Tim, probably died. "I'm sorry, it's too difficult!" said Gray.
One of Tim's most obscure links of all is made - a clip is played of Woody Allen - on the strength that Allen's father was once a caddy. During the clip, it transpires that, to illustrate how poor the family was, Allen claims that his father was caddy at a miniature golf course. I think we may be scraping the barrel for golf links here!
Tim's still on the first tee - summoning the courage to make that first shot. It's a good one and as he makes his way to play his second, he reminisces about the time when he was elected Rector of the University there by the students in 1979 - something he was "truly honoured" by. The Rector chairs the Court which has the responsibility of running the University - he says he may have taken the position too seriously (Margaret Thatcher's team were hacking away at budgets and many cuts had to be made), but he was following in a good comedy tradition - among his predecessors were Frank Muir and John Cleese, his fellow Law student at Cambridge, who he says would have made a good barrister - he frightened Tim, all 6 foot 5 of him (Cleese, that is, not TBT!). A clip is played of Cleese as a bossy question master for "Top of the Form" for "At Last The 1948 Show".
Tim's life was changed for ever when Beyond The Fringe stopped off in Cambridge - all the cast were good, but Peter Cook was "truly, truly original" - he couldn't get enough of it. He did Economics in his first year to avoid Roman Law - Roman Law required Latin, and Latin made Tim cry. Cue a clip of Peter Cook, with wistful thoughts on Latin and Law.
Peter Cook left a tremendous legacy at Cambridge when he left - just before Tim arrived - in the Pembridge Players' Smoking Concert, which was sold out every year, thanks to Cook - "but we", says Tim, "had to follow him." Bill Oddie, Eric Idle, Tim and others were "frightened little rabbits - but we got away with it - just!" One sketch was a parody of Oscar Wilde "How Green Was My Buttonhole" - Tim naturally played Lady Bracknell, and the sketch was revived in Cambridge Circus, some of which is played, with Tim doing an instantly recognisable pre-Lady Constance voice.
The London cast of Cambridge Circus, John Cleese, David Hatch, Jo Kendall, Bill Oddie, TBT were joined by Graeme Garden to form the cast of I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again. A clip is played of the regular series in the show, The Curse Of The Flying Wombats - "I am Lady Constance de Coverlet - but you can call me bedspread".
They were considered something of a threat by some of the established comedians of the time, but didn't realise that the cast of ISIRTA were huge admirers and had been greatly influenced by music hall and variety in general. Tim's introduction to comedy had been at school, were, as new boy, he had to do a "turn" at the end of term concert. He did a conjuring routine - but the first trick went wrong - and then the second and he'd started to giggle. Then he made the best decision of his life - he got all the rest of the tricks wrong on purpose and made out it had been a comedy routine, which went down a storm - "and what was that lovely sound? It was laughter..." A clip is played of the greatest comedy conjuror of them all - Tommy Cooper.
BBC Radio was a great place for comedy in the 1960s and 70s - encouraging new comedy writers, but the content of the shows got filthier and filthier - because of the absurd censorship laws governing output, great use was made of innuendo, which made everything far filthier than it would have otherwise have been. To illustrate this, an extract from Round The Horne is played, with the incredibly camp Julian and Sandy.
The students at the University of St Andrews, Tim remembers, were remarkably disinclined to leave, even after the Scottish University's four year stint - the leap from student to grown-up was a very big one, and Tim was lucky enough to start work in television with Bernard Braden - he was the comedy turn for a few months on ITV's "Braden Beat" - and again had to follow Peter Cook, who had just completed a 13 week run. He got to know Cook years later, and Cook had only to open his mouth for Tim to be crying with laughter. He did manage to beat Cook several times on the golf course though, even with tears streaming down his face. "Did you spot that golf link?" asks Tim...
Tim also gets to play golf with Arnold Palmer whenever he likes - on his computerised golf game, that is. You don't have get cold and wet any more - this is golf for the new millennium, and he can often hit the ball long and straight - and the computerised commentator frequently bestows lavish praise on him. It's time for him to put his feet even further up, with a "wee dram" (said in a Scottish accent just a little better than his Australian one!) and one of his very favourite sketches of all, from the "Million Pound Radio Show" of modern-day pirates who, rather than loot and treasure maps, (and said very much in the style of The Knights of Ni and their shrubbery) "we wants.... a training day!" ... "preferably in a nice hotel in Hastings!"
And so we come to the end of Tim's Comedy Links. "The journey has been a bit like my golf", says Tim, "left, right, sometimes backwards but never, I think, *quite* out of bounds." He concludes by saying that the golfer's warning cry is, "Fore!" - and quotes (with a commendable impression) the late, great Willie Rushton as describing it as an abbreviated form of, "for what it's worth, you're just about to be struck by a golf ball - oh, sorry - you *have* been!"
I LOVE A 70s CHRISTMAS
(by Alison Bean - posted to Goodies-l on 28th December
Did anyone watch I Love A 70s Christmas on BBC2 on Xmas Eve? Tim turned up discussing some ads he did for nylon sheets, pillow cases, nighties, dressing gowns etc in the 70s. "Basically, I'm a whore" he said of the experience.
Does anyone know whether Tim's ads inspired the Brentford Nylons reference in Graeme's magnificent succession of Radio 1 DJ impressions in Chubbie Chumps?
(...and a further posting from Tim to Goodies-l on 1st January)
For those of you that want to see Tim's advert and interview, go to: http://www.lace.demon.co.uk/goals/tbtnylon.zip
The clip is in Real Video format (you'll need Real Player G2) and has been zipped up as well. It's about 1.4mb.
FUN AT THE FUNERAL PARLOUR
(from information contributed by David Balston and Lisa Manekofsky)
Bill Oddie guests in "Fun at the Funeral Parlour" 22.30 on BBC digital channel BBC Choice on Monday 15th January, with repeats on the 16th at 23.00 and the 18th at 01.00. The episode is entitled "The Heron Incident", and the following summary is from sources including the Radio Times:
"This is the original BBC Choice sitcom which is set in a funeral directors' in South Wales.
The funeral home, called "Thomas, Thomas, Thomas and Thomas" is run by the family headed by the father, Ivor, who, suffering from a phobia of dead bodies, is assisted by his three sons, Percy, Arwel and Gwynne."
In an episode guest-starring Paul Whitehouse, famous twitcher Bill Oddie is at a bird sanctuary, trying to woo the woman of his dreams. However, their relationship is not to be."
POINTS OF LAW
(by David Balston)
Tim appears in the first of a new legal quiz 'Points of Law' on Wednesday 17th January on BBC Radio 4 at 13.30. It's hosted by Richard Evans and Gary Herbert is also a guest.
BILL ON THE NET
Bill was interviewed on Radio 2 last night and on Radio 5 last week too - but fear not - this interview is available online through Bill's fan site - www.billoddie.net.
Jon, the owner of the site, has also put up a link to the GROK site too - have a look at his site whilst you're listening to the interview - it's a birding site rather than a Goodies site but it's got some great pics of Bill and is definitely worth a look.
MURDER MOST HORRID
Graeme's episode of "Murder Most Horrid - Confessions of a Murderer" had a repeat showing on Wednesday 3rd January on BBC2.
BILLDUNNIT!
17th January also sees a repeat of Bill's episode of 'The Detectives' on the Digital version of Bravo at 17.20
NEW SERIES OF ISIHAC
(by Lisa Manekofsky - posted to Goodies-l on 15th December)
The 6th episode of the latest series of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" is due to air next week on BBC Radio 4. Please note that there will be an episode the following week as well, on Monday, 25th December (Christmas Day). Here is a description of the episode from the on-line RadioTimes:
"I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, BBC Radio 4, Monday 25 December, 12:30 to 12:57.
Humphrey Lyttleton introduces the year's highlights from the comedy panel game, featuring regular team members Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden, with contributions from Jeremy Hardy, Sandi Toksvig, Stephen Fry, Neil Mullarkey and Tony Hawkes."
ISIHAC FEATURED ROUND
Late Arrivals At The Insect Ball.
With panelists: Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Neil Mullarkey.
GG: "Mr & Mrs Bee and their rather shabby son, the bum Bill Bee."
NM: "Mr & Mrs Quito and their son Amos."
TBT: "Peter Sellers and his son Chris" (chrysalis)
BC: "It's cabaret time! The bootleg Beatles ..."
NM: "The Flea Degrees!"
BC: "Do join in! Peggy Flea singing Larva Your Rose ..."
NM: "The Crickets ..."
GG: "And their unwell daughter Sick Ada!"
TBT: "Mr & Mrs T Resistant and their daughter Dee Dee T Resistant."
GG: "And from Coronation Street, let's welcome William Roach and his famous ...(embarrassed silence) ... rooster!
KITTEN KONG: 1971-STYLE
(by Andrew Pixley)
As confirmed in internal memos at the BBC and via an interview with the Goodies in Radio Times, the 1972 Montreux edition of Kitten Kong which we all know and love had a number of differences from the original 1971 recording which seems to have ascended to that great electromagnet in the sky some time during the mid-1970s. Fortunately, sufficient material does exist in the form of scripts, production notes, memos and - indeed - dim and distant memories to reconstruct in the following article what this long lost instalment was like. Some of it sticks very closely to the 1972 version (mainly the studio sequences and some of the early film scenes) while the tail end of the show diverges significantly. (For further information on the production of the show rather than the plot, I would refer you to the 'Fantasy Flashback' article on the episode which appeared in Issue 133 of 'TV Zone' in November 2000).
The opening scene of Graeme and Tim returning from the Grabowski chess match and meeting up with Bill who is preparing a gourmet meal for Bunter the guinea pig is virtually identical. However, in some minor dialogue changes, Bill says that Bunter was brought in by Lady Hamilton Bridge. "Bloody hell!" exclaims Tim when he sees the meal Bill has prepared for a "bleeding" guinea pig (which upset Michael Mills, BBC Head of Comedy) - both these blasphemies were removed from the later recording.
After the argument when the idea of collecting looney pets was arrived at, the CSO "thinks bubble" which leads into the film sequences was a 1972 idea. Originally after saying "What a good idea," Tim turns to Bill and says "You're very clever". "I'm sorry I shouted at you," says a regretful Bill. "Oh no, it was my fault," says Tim. Taking control of the situation, Graeme says "Gentlemen ... please eat up your potato peelings ... we are starting a business!" "Wahey...!" yell the Goodies.
This then leads into the 3'15" film sequence of Tim and Bill collecting the looney animals which was retained for the 1972 version. Back at the office, the 1972 mongoose gag was replaced by another item. "What are you doing?" Bill asks Graeme. "Mending a rattlesnake," says Graeme, whereupon a snake with a baby's rattle tied on its end sticks out of the box he is working on and rattles. Graeme sees that Tim has entered carrying a padded birdcage: "Well, what have you brought?" Tim explains "This is Anona the budgie. She's very depressed." "What are you giving her?" asks Graeme. "The stuff that makes budgies bounce," says Tim as he throws the budgie on the floor; the bird bounces out of shot but the Goodies' eyes follow it as it bounces around off-screen until it hits the floor with a splat. "That's solved her problem," says Bill. "Another satisfied customer," agrees Graeme, before he goes into the bush baby routine.
After the vampire bat business comes a sequence with a sheep - substituted by Jim Franklin's singing dogs film from "Broaden Your Mind" in the 1972 version.! Bill indicates a crate with its back to the camera and asks, "Hey, what's this sheep here for?" "It sings," explains Graeme. "Singing sheep?" says Bill incredulously. "Yes," confirms Graeme, "they can't stop it singing." "Can't stop it?" says Bill, "It hasn't even started. Hey, come on sheepy, give us a song. How about a nice duet?" He counts the sheep in: "One, two, three, four ..."
BAAA...
Byface, you've got the cutest little
BAAAAA
by face, and there is no-one else could t-
-ke your place,
BAAAA
byface
MAAAA
poor heart is jumping,
You really started something,
byface ...
"All right, that's enough," says Graeme, as Tim spots the - un-named - kitten, and the script returns to that of the remake for a few moments. However, as Graeme opens the door to take the kitten out for his exercise, there is a loud barking and he slams the door shut again. "What's that?" he gibbers, "What's that monster on the landing?" "That's a Great Dane," says Tim. "It's as big as a horse!" protests Graeme, adding "I'm not going out there - it looks fierce." "Well it isn't," Tim assures him, "In fact that's its problem. It's not terribly butch." "Isn't it?" asks Graeme. "No," confirms Tim, "As a matter of fact it's ..."; he whispers in Graeme's ear. "It's not is it?" asks an amazed Graeme. "As a row of pink tents," assures Tim. "You mean a Great Dane that's ..." says Graeme, and Tim completes the sentence, "A bit of a gay dog!" "Will you get off ..." says Graeme as Bill says he will toughen up the dog: "Grab your animals - it's time for Walkies." This leads into the same 5'52" film sequence of exercising the pets and the two fake commercials.
Af!ter the film sequence, the scene between Graeme and Bill is generally the same as the Montreux version, except that Graeme explains that Twinkle "is still too little ... you can't have the metabolism of a Rhino in something six inches long. He'll burn himself out." "Well, he's certainly growing fast," says Bill, before Tim comes in.
After the subsequent scene in which Bill reveals he has put the cat out, the show starts to diverge significantly. A 1'17" location film sequence opens with the Goodies cycling on the trandem down a suburban street calling "Kitty! Kitty! Puss puss puss!" They then find an overturned milkfloat with a terrified milkman pointing into the distance. Next they arrive at a fish shop which has been emptied of its stock, and the fishmonger emerges from his establishment as a gibbering wreck. A pack of terrified dogs scurry around a corner away from something past the Goodies. The trio then find a massive paw print on the ground ... and look up to see the massive cat climbing the GPO Tower.
The next scene back in the studio is very similar to the remake, except that all three Goodies enter the Quick Change cabinet at the same time (rather than use a double for Graeme). They emerge dressed as mice and set off to capture the cat.
The next sequence is on film and runs to 45"; the Goodies are in the street and fill a huge saucer full of milk. The trio then take cover nearby on a street corner - back in the studio - and wait for the giant feline to come for his lunch. However, as Graeme says, "We'll have to entice him," and starts to go "Eeek!" Bill and Tim join in as massive footsteps approach and there is a huge miaow. Tim is at first triumphant: "It worked, it worked! Well done, men - we've lured the monster out! The monster's coming! Help! Run!" Graeme tells them to hide and they duck down out of site by jumping into the saucer. Then Bill pops up: "Hang on - something's just struck me ... there's a ravenous 100 foot high pussy cat coming this way ... And he wants his dinner, right?" Graeme and Tim agree. "And we're dressed up as mice, right?" Again they agree. "And we're hiding in a bowl of milk, right?" Right, they agree. "Now doesn't that strike you as a bad idea?" asks Bill. "Right!" his colleagues agree, but it is too late to get away. Around the side of a building strides the cat and it towers over them as the trio attempt to shoo it away: "We're not mice - we're Goodies. Remember us? We taste horrible." Unfortunately the cat is not scared of them and they leap out of the bowl and make a run for it.
This leads into a 1'55" film sequence where the Goodies run around a street corner and flatten themselves against a wall. "This is another fine mess you've gotten ..." Tim starts to say, but Graeme tell!s him to shut up. The looney scientist believes that this is their chance: "While it's drinking the milk, we can sneak up and shove in the hypodermic." Tim refuses to go anywhere near it. Graeme says he will check that it is safe and, handing the giant hypodermic to Bill, creeps around the corner and calls back to the others: "It's OK - we're safe!" At that instance, a massive paw slams down and pins him to the ground. Tim suggests that they should run while they can and Graeme pleads for them not to leave him. Tim is unsympathetic: "Why not? It was all your stupid fault in the first place!" Bill agrees that it serves Graeme right, and points out that "While it's eating you, we'll have a chance to get away." Graeme pleads again for rescue, but Tim tells him he is being selfish, with Bill persuading the cat to eat the "Nice mouse." Sprinkling salt and pepper on Graeme, he adds: "Yummy appetising Mouseburger. Eat it all up so we can run away." At this, the paw drags Graeme away around the corner - his yells and screams can be heard. There is the noise of a cat purring and licking its lips ... and then (a dummy) Graeme flies through the air and hits the ground. "Hang on - you didn't give us time to get away," says Bill. Tim agrees: "You go back and get eaten this minute." "He spat me out!" says Graeme, adding, "Apparently, cats don't like salt and pepper." Tim realises they are trapped, but Graeme says that the kitten has gone. Bill feels that it's useless; "We'll never get near enough like this." Then Graeme has his idea: "Then there's only one thing to do - take to the air." Rapidly, Bill pumps up a balloon, Tim ties ropes across the trandem and Graeme fits a propeller.
The next sequence has the Goodies on the trandem CSOed over film in the studio. This is essentially the same sequence as was reshot for Montreux, but af!ter Bill making the dog noises the resolution is far quicker. Graeme simply drops the syringe towards the kitten: "Bombs away!" As the syringe makes a whistling noise while it hurtles down, Tim says: "Oooh - I can't stand the sight of a needle going in." He and the other Goodies look away as the whistling ends with a plonk, there is a miaow and a thud. "Direct hit!" says a triumphant Graeme. The trandem (model) descends to lie beside the sleeping cat. The Goodies dismount the trandem and walk in front of the drowsing colossus, shaking hands.
Back in the office, the Goodies parcel up the pets to send home. "I think we can congratulate ourselves on a thoroughly successful enterprise," says Graeme. "With one notable failure," says Tim, pointing towards the inner room. "I don't count Kitten Kong as a failure," insists Graeme as Bill asks if it's feeding time. "How long since the last meal?" asks Graeme. "Er !er ... four weeks," says Bill, to which Graeme agrees that it is time. Graeme takes a teaspoonful of the food from the vat and puts it on a plate. He then opens the door to reveal the tiny kitten sitting beside a massive collar and chain. "He's nearly back to normal," comments Graeme. Tim thinks he has overdone it, "I reckon he was bigger than that when we got him." Meanwhile, Bill has been looking at the vat, asking how much the kitten gets now. "One teaspoonful every month," says Graeme, "so that's ... er three teaspoonfuls he's had." Bill asks if Graeme has been eating the mixture as the vat is nearly empty ... and this leads to the same conclusion with the giant mice as in the 1972 version.
(c) Andrew Pixley 2000
Series 3, Episode 4.
First transmitted: 25th February 1973
Tim is rather depressed, as the Goodies haven't had a job in two months and annoys Bill by attempting to polish his feet with black nugget. Tim needs a good laugh and several hysterical cackles seem to herald the arrival of a clown or a hyena. In comes a crazy old bat in a black dress and fruit-filled hat who makes Tim and Bill laugh uncontrollably before she tells them her sad life story. She is a witch who always has wanted to be a zookeeper, but her obsession with furry little animals has ruined her business as she is only able to conjure up the mystical voices of cows, sheep and three-toed sloths instead of dearly departed relatives.
Tim offers to help her, but Bill finds the whole idea balmy and suggests that she should seek the help of other witches instead. Hazel tells them that witches no longer help each other, as they have turned black (with Bill remarking that they have been in the coven too long!) and sold their stories to the Sunday papers and besides, no-one would want to buy pictures of her furry little animals dancing naked around the campfire anyway!
Hazel wants help in contacting the other side, just as Graeme enters the room (after being out selling 'orrible 'airy spiders!). Hazel feels that he has 'the power' and offers to pay the Goodies if they will help her. The Goodies need the money and hold a seance where Graeme pretends to be possessed and Bill hides under the table in a bid to fool Hazel. Graeme exposes Bill and ruins the seance, but he is genuinely hypnotised and takes on a number of personalities before being unpossessed by a blow on the head from a mallet, then gets carried away with the realization that he has 'the power'. Another blow on the head temporarily halts his lust for power and the others escape the spookiness by going to the pictures (to see Dracula's Entrails!). Graeme is left to sleep it off, but he soon creeps up from the floor with a crazed expression on his face and evil on his mind.
Bill and Tim return to find a 'I Do Anything Anytime' sign on the office door and all sorts of voodoo items including needles stuck into Tim's dolly and tomato ketchup all over the floor. A witchcraft manual featuring 'A Bum In The Coven' and other campfire dances tells them that Graeme has sold out to the Sunday papers and they head to Clapham Common in a bid to stop him. They spoil Graeme's worship session by scaring away his followers and dress as virgins in white gowns and long blonde hair to enter his hideaway. Graeme performs some awful magic tricks with the help of his assistant Miss Betty (Sooty could do better!), then summons up the devil (David Frost!) before Witch Hazel intervenes and pits her good magic against Graeme's evil.
Hazel defeats Graeme by clobbering him with a mallet again and casts a spell to remove the evil spirits from him. However the replacement spirit is that of a gibbon and the dinner-suited Graeme swings across the room and escapes to create havoc, as Tim and Bill (still dressed as virgins) chase him all over the countryside. After three weeks, Witch Hazel finally comes across the right spell to bring Graeme back to normal and tears up her book of magic spells in relief. However Tim starts to cluck like a chook and Bill yaps like a dog, which causes Hazel and Graeme to frantically scramble for the shredded pages.
* Bill: (reading Tim's horoscope) "Let's see. Virgo. Work prospects. You will meet a small fat man with a beard who will be no help at all!"
* Witch Hazel (WH): (introducing herself) "Some call me Hecate, some the Queen of Necromancy and some..."
Bill: "Call you a loony!"
* WH: "What I need is to re-establish contact with the living dead. I need to be put in touch with those lost souls on the other side."
Tim: "Say no more." (picks up phone) "Thames Television please!"
* WH: "Is there anybody there? One knock for no, two knocks for yes." (knock, knock) "Who's there?"
Bill: "Wendy"
WH: "Wendy who?"
Bill: "Wendy red red robin comes bob bob bobbin' along!"
WH: "Robin! Oh well, at least it's not another furry little animal!"
* Tim: "So tomorrow night when the owls do hoot and the moon is full we must journey to the abode of the living dead"
Bill: "Aw, we're not going to Bognor again, are we?!"
* Graeme: "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you sure you're virgins?"
Tim & Bill: "Yes, sir."
Graeme: (looking at Bill) "But she's got a beard!"
Tim: "That's why she's a virgin!"
Graeme: "Fair enough!"
* Graeme taking on various identities while possessed with 'the power', including Eammon Andrews ("And tonight Witch Hazel, this is your life!"), Walter Gabriel ("Elllllo deeere!") and Eddie Waring ("Well yabble gabble babble..."), with Tim pleading with him to "Please ... take Tony Blackburn!"
* The worship ritual on Clapham Common with Graeme's followers dancing around the campfire in their undies to 'Knees Up Mother Brown' ("oh, oh what a rotten song, what a rotten singer too-oo!") watched by owls, 'orrible 'airy spiders and newspaper photographers. Also the followers dropping to their knees as the Grand Master appears in his cape, pointy hat and Goodies t-shirt and prepares to ritually sacrifice a frozen chook!
* Graeme summoning up the devil (David Frost!) before Witch Hazel sends Frosty packing ("got to go now ... byeee!")
* The mighty chase scene with Bill and Tim dressed as virgins pursuing Graeme the gibbon, including the scaling of a light pole and ladder, Graeme climbing over a moving car, then onto another car and a bus going in different directions, in and out windows of a tall building, Tim slipping on a chain of banana peels etc before they finally trap Graeme in a cage.
Patricia Hayes
Stuff That Gibbon
Great episode with stacks of funny scenes and quotes, a top guest performance by Patricia Hayes, more of Graeme's wicked impersonations and a great chase scene to the tune of 'Stuff That Gibbon'
Take that gibbon by the hand
Listen to the rhythm of the band
Slap him up and down upon the floor
Tickle his feet and hear him giggle
Then unzip him down the middle
Give that gibbon what he's hollerin' for
Ohh, stuff that gibbon, ohh, stuff that gibbon
Ohh, stuff that gibbon now!...*
Ohh, stuff that gibbon , ohh, stuff that gibbon
Ohh, stuff that gibbon now! *
(* several different phrases - "what ya gonna do", "fa-la-la-la", "what for, riddle me", etc)
Promenade the gibbon round the hall
Bounce him up and down like a rubber ball
Drop him on the floor and trample on his toes
Swing him by the tail from the chandelier
Happy with a hamster in his ear
All he needs is a ferret up his nose
IIIII Superstar
February Summary
"For Those In Peril On The Sea"
7 QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
(a) Witch Hazel in "That Old Black Magic and Tim's Uncle Tom in "Farm Fresh Food".
NOTE: There are also two other prominent "zookeepers" - the one in "Loch Ness Monster" and the giant in "Goodies And The Beanstalk".
(b) Through door and turn white.
(c) White and white minstrels.
(d) Apart-height.
(e) Short people like Bill, jockeys, Ronnie Corbett etc!
(f) Run.
(g) "Chop off their legs!"
8. GOODIES CROSSWORD
(by David McAnally)
In this e-crossword, the '-' represents the blank spaces, while the '?' represents the letters of the words.
The crossword grid is drawn up in a similar way to the reference points on a map.
The across clues are given as number/letter.
The down clues are given as letter/number.
1.A (7 letters) -- Tim's Uncle Arthur lives here - name of episode
1.K (5 letters) -- The Goodies had their own private ? station - "? Goodies"
1.R (4 letters) -- The Goodies formed their own ? to try to find out who was kidnapping all of the musicians and singers - "The Stolen Musicians"
2.J (3 letters) -- Graeme used a one ? weight to get rid of the
'tomato soup' - "Clown Virus"
2.Q (2 letters) -- The Giant's comment: "?, fo, fi, fum" - "The Goodies and the Beanstalk"
3.C (7 letters) -- The Lost Tribe of the ? - name of episode
3.P (2 letters) -- Initials of the union which gave the Goodies gifts for rescuing them from the Music Master - "The Stolen Musicians"
4.C (2 letters) -- The Goodies intended to say ? to everybody who could not pay them - "The Lost Tribe of the Orinoco"
4.K (11 letters) -- Graeme's weird breed of dog was named ? - name of episode
5.A (2 letters) -- The detectives were upset about the actions of the false Goodies, ? they helped the real Goodies to defeat the false ones - "Daylight Robbery on the Orient Express"
5.D (4 letters) -- Tim's uncle had a dancing one - "Camelot"
6.L (4 letters) -- Tim had the traditional Brooke-Taylor ? - "Alternative Roots"
6.Q (3 letters) -- Tim was a five megaton one - "U-Friend or UFO?"
7.A (9 letters) --The name of the Trandem
7.K (2 letters) -- Bunfight at the ? Tea Rooms - name of episode
7.N (2 letters) -- The child boxer exhausted himself by trying to deliver this to Bill - "The Commonwealth Games"
7.S (3 letters) -- What the British computer gives to warm a person up - "The Lost Tribe of the Orinoco"
8.H (2 letters) -- One ? had a spinning helmet - "Clown Virus"
8.M (5 letters) -- What a person contracts when they drink suspect American tomato soup - "Clown ?"
9.A (6 letters) -- Tim posted two letters in the ? parked outside their office - "Invasion of the Moon Creatures"
9.I (6 letters) -- Big Bunny was one - "The Invasion of the Moon Creatures"
9.Q (4 letters) -- The easiest way to get rid of the chore of washing-up is just to throw everything into the ? - Goodies ad
10.E (2 letters) -- Tim suddenly thought that he could reign ? Queen, if he could be crowned during a replay of the coronation - "Royal Command"
10.H (3 letters) -- The Goodies were asked to get rid of a ? of 'tomato soup' - "Clown Virus"
10.L (2 letters) -- The Goodies had to decide whether to take Hazel with them, ? to leave her behind - "The Lost Tribe of the Orinoco"
10.O (2 letters) -- "Goodies ? the bar" - "Wacky Wales"
10.S (3 letters) -- Bill found some ? under the Jolly Rock Lighthouse
11.H (2 letters) -- The bear and the woman threw rotten fruit ? the Goodies, whom they had put in the stocks - "Camelot"
11.K (5 letters) -- Back to the ages, of peasants and ? - "Camelot"
11.Q (2 letters) -- ? Mans was the 24-hour race - "The Race"
12.A (4 letters) -- All roads lead here - "? Antics"
12.G (4 letters) -- Graeme and Bill left Tim up a ? - "Kitten Kong"
12.L (3 letters) -- The builders made a very loud ?, but not much else - "The New Office"
12.S (3 letters) -- Frankenfido was a very unusual one - "Frankenfido"
13.E (3 letters) -- When Bill and Graeme discovered that Tim was a scout, they wanted to be scouts ? - "Scoutrageous"
13.L (6 letters) -- The ? of Bill's tale was sad when Mildred refused to marry him - "Cunning Stunts"
14.A (3 letters) -- Do the 'Belligerent ?' - "The Goodies .... Almost Live"
14.E (2 letters) -- The Goodies found it difficult to stay ? the trandem, when Graeme wanted to inject the kitten with the growth antidote - "Kitten Kong"
14.H (5 letters) -- That Old Black ? - name of episode
15.G (3 letters) -- When Bill went sleepwalking, he walked on top of one - "Snooze"
15.L (2 letters) -- Thinking that Graeme's rocket was a letter box, Tim decided to post two letters into ? - "The Invasion of the Moon Creatures"
15.O (3 letters) -- The Goodies were horrified to discover that ? of the babies were being trained to fight - "Way Outward Bound"
15.S (3 letters) -- Lips, Or Almighty ? - episode title
16.A (5 letters) -- This landed on Tim's head - and the Royal Family were out of a job, so the Royal Family took over the Goodies' jobs - "Royal Command"
16.K (4 letters) -- There was a French ? in the car engine - "The Race"
17.H (2 letters) -- A Knight's Castle ? his Home - "Camelot"
17.M (3 letters) -- Tim sometimes acts like he is a ? (short for nobleman)
18.F (4 letters) -- The ? Ness Monster - name of episode
18.N (2 letters) -- ? Boring - "Daylight Robbery on the Orient Express"
18.Q (5 letters) -- The American competitor at Le Mans had huge ? on the bumper-bar of his car - "The Race"
19.A (5 letters) -- Where the eisteddfod was held - "Wacky ?"
19.K (8 letters) -- The x-ray changed the patient into one - "Hospital for Hire"
20.F (5 letters) -- The Russian Rolf Harris was delivered in one - "Scatty Safari"
20.O (2 letters) -- Kung ? Kapers - name of episode
20.R (4 letters) -- Tim's comment: "We are the Goodies, and we going to do ? to people" - to which Bill replied: "How wet!" - "The Tower of London"
21.A (3 letters) -- Graeme used a ? ray lamp to melt the snow - "Winter Olympics"
21.E (4 letters) -- One person had a bird's ? in his hair - "Pollution"
21.K (3 letters) -- Bill's comment to the other Goodies: "There's an ?" - "The Tower of London"
21.P (3 letters) -- The balloons were filled with North Sea ? - "Radio Goodies"
21.T (2 letters) -- The Goodies found it difficult to say ? to Hazel when she asked for their help to find her father - "The Lost Tribe of the Orinoco"
DOWN CLUES
A.1 (12 letters) -- Major ? - "Clown Virus"
A.16 (6 letters) -- Tim, Bill and Graeme turned into circus ?, and so did the rest of the English people - "? Virus"
C.1 (4 letters) -- Tim and Bill found that the rabbits had taken over this completely - "Invasion of the ? Creatures"
C.11 (6 letters) -- Tim was made this - "Rome Antics"
D.3 (5 letters) -- EBGB was one - "U-Friend or UFO?"
D.18 (3 letters) -- Tim, Bill and Graeme had to give up their large comfortable ? when Hazel joined them in their tent - "The Lost Tribe of the Orinoco"
E.9 (3 letters) -- Tim demonstrated that each ? of his jester's hood worked independently of each other - "Camelot"
E.13 (4 letters) -- The ? Planner wanted to buy "Camelot" to use the land for a highway - "Camelot"
F.1 (3 letters) -- Bill wanted to ? the horse - "Black and White Beauty"
F.7 (4 letters) -- Graeme used these to decorate the pumpkin - "Rock Goodies"
F.13 (2 letters) -- The Goodies were only ? the train while it went from one end of the station to the other, but they were ? it for a very long time! - "Wacky Wales"
F.20 (2 letters) -- short for 'Church of England' of which Graeme wanted to make a pirate version - "Radio Goodies"
G.12 (2 letters) -- The Goodies not only had ? collect people's letters, they had ? also stamp and deliver them - "Radio Goodies"
G.18 (4 letters) -- The Goodies had to use ? to power their journey - "Radio Goodies"
H.2 (3 letters) -- there was plenty of ? - until it melted - "Winter Olympics"
H.6 (3 letters) -- The ? belonged to the giant - "The Goodies and the Beanstalk"
H.10 (3 letters) -- The office made a very unusual one - "The Race"
H.14 (5 letters) -- The Goodies played many different styles of ? - "The Stolen Musicians"
H.20 (2 letters) -- The Goodies tried really hard to make people like the police - especially ? the park, where they gathered up all of the signs on the grass - "Love the Police"
I.7 (6 letters) -- Bill had a buzzard on his shoulder, instead of a parrot, when he dressed up as a ? for their voyage - "The Lost Island of Munga"
I.14 (2 letters) -- ? the years passed, Tim and Graeme got older in appearance, but Bill remained looking exactly the same - "The End"
I.17 (4 letters) -- When Bill's hat was ? off his head, he thought that it 'blew off' - "Cunning Stunts"
J.9 (2 letters) -- When Bill opened ? egg with a picture of a lion on the shell, it turned out to have a lion's paw inside it - "The Goodies and the Beanstalk"
J.12 (3 letters) -- Graeme played the extremely violent game of 'roller ?' - "2001 and a Bit"
K.1 (4 letters) -- One of these would definitely have been enough! - "Scatty Safari"
K.7 (3 letters) -- Tim used this part of the Crown Jewels as a shotput - "A Kick in the Arts"
K.16 (4 letters) -- Le ?, the name of the 24-hour car race which Graeme entered the Goodies into - "The Race"
L.1 (2 letters) -- Tim came up with ? interesting idea - to entertain at the eisteddfod! - "Wacky Wales"
L.4 (4 letters) -- Bill was stretched on one - "Camelot"
L.9 (8 letters) -- Queen of the Britons - "Rome Antics"
L.19 (3 letters) -- Tim used Graeme's skeleton ? to unlock the cupboard which had the training manuals - "Winter Olympics"
M.8 (6 letters) -- Tim pretended to be a ?, and Bill pretended to be another, when Graeme advertised for ?~s - "That Old Black Magic"
M.15 (3 letters) -- All of the Goodies were unhappy to be only given a ? of baked beans for their trandem - "The Goodies and the Beanstalk"
N.1 (9 letters) -- The Goodies made up the ? game - "Love the Police"
N.11 (3 letters) -- The ? - name of episode
N.16 (4 letters) -- In his role as a jester, Tim had a Jester's ? - "Camelot"
O.6 (3 letters) -- Neither Tim, ? Bill, enjoyed seeing Graeme acting the way he was - "Radio Goodies"
O.10 (2 letters) -- ? Tim had expelled them from the Scouts, the rebellious Bill and Graeme formed their own renegade two-member scout group - "Scoutrageous"
O.17 (4 letters) -- The Chief Beefeater set a dog to guard this precious substance --- "The Tower of London"
P.3 (3 letters) -- Public toilet facility which was visited by Nessie - "The Loch Ness Monster"
P.13 (4 letters) -- All three of the Goodies were very interested in Eskimo ? - Winter Olympics
P.19 (2 letters) -- One of the vessels which Graeme wanted to use to tow Britain out past the five mile limit - "Radio Goodies"
Q.2 (3 letters) -- This was banned by the government - "The Goodies Rule - OK!"
Q.6 (4 letters) -- The Loch ? Monster - the name of episode
Q.11 (3 letters) -- Captain's ? - "The Invasion of the Moon Creatures"
Q.18 (2 letters) -- Hi ?, hi ?, it's off to work we go - "Snow White 2"
R.1 (2 letters) -- The Goodies were not impressed that the dragon turned out to ? just the two assistants to the Town Planner pretending to ? a dragon! - "Camelot"
R.17 (5 letters) -- The Goodies sang many ? when they attempted to find out what had happened to all of the musicians and singers - "The Stolen Musicians"
S.3 (5 letters) -- The ? turned out to be rather petite as ?~s go! - "The Goodies and the Beanstalk"
S.9 (2 letters) -- The Goodies wanted to say ? to the Minister for Sport, to represent Britain in the Games, but ended up giving in to the Minister's request for help - "Winter Olympics"
S.12 (5 letters) -- Bill's ? was so exclusive that there were no patrons - "Saturday Night Grease"
T.7 (6 letters) -- The Goodies were not impressed when an ? fishing boat came close to English land - "Lips, or Almighty Cod"
T.18 (4 letters) -- When Tim's Uncle King, Arthur, and the family returned from their holidays, it could be seen that there was a brand new ? sign on the drawbridge - "Camelot"
U.1 (4 letters) -- He was an endangered species - the only one left in the world - "?~nuts"
U.12 (7 letters) -- our favourite team
U.20 (2 letters) -- ? ? ? the Funky Gibbon - Goodies song
NEXT EDITION: #62: February 12th 2001.
ACROSS CLUES


Activities as contemplated by the PER Regulations of the OHSACT, Act 85 and the Minerals Act 29.
Verification of fabrication i.e. witnessing of weld preps, fit-ups, etc.
Fabrication of Heat Exchangers, Drums, Steam Generators (Boilers) Reactors and site installation of piping and related equipment.


Behold: The Birth Of A New Shopping Holiday!
They're calling it Prime Day, and it's created by our Amazon overlords. I'm unclear why they chose today — July 15 — as the date for this new day o' deals. But I suspect it's because there's a long dry spell during the summer months, when there are no big shopping holidays. Dunno. In any case, it looks like there are some crazy deals going on, and new ones being added all the time. When I logged on a few minutes ago the site was bogging down and acting a little 1998. So, apparently they're getting the traffic they wanted. Check it out, if you're so inclined. I have my eye on this Kindle Fire tablet for $60 off. Please note: to get the deals you have to be a member of Amazon Prime. We're members here at Suggestaholic World Headquarters, and love it. The free shipping is a great benefit, and their Netflix-like streaming service is pretty good, too. We consider it money well-spent.
UPDATE: Apparently this little experiment didn't go over very well. Check this out.


The background of IC TeraScience is firmly set up in Scientific Research. The founding members have extensive research experience in the Best of Universities which are ranked globally as the Top Universities (QS Rankings). With much of these research already published and patented, IC TeraScience was conceived as a platform to commercialise the portfolio.


text:
Christmas 'could be saved' if we lockdown now, scientists say
Faye BrownFriday 30 Oct 2020 8:46 pm
Scientists say a national lockdown is needed now in order to justify relaxing measures over Christmas
Enforcing a national lockdown now could 'save Christmas from coronavirus' and allow families to get together over the festive season, according to experts.
Scientists say a stringent country-wide 'circuit breaker' lasting between two and six weeks would help suppress cases by late December.
Documents from the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (Sage) released on Friday showed Covid-19 was spreading significantly faster through England than the Government's own predicted worst-case scenario for cases and hospital admissions.
Sage had estimated 85,000 deaths from coronavius over the course of the winter, but an official document dated October 14 and published today reveals we are in a worse position than expected.
The grim report came as official figures found more than half a million people per week are becoming infected with coronavirus across the country.
Despite the bleak numbers, senior SAGE sources told MailOnline it was still 'not too late to save Christmas' if a month-long lockdown was introduced immediately.
Restrictions could be relaxed at Christmas if a national lockdown is imposed now, scientists say (Picture: SWNS)
The advisory group is said to be in favour of a similar lockdown to the one imposed today in France, where residents can only leave home for one hour a day to exercise and all non-essential businesses, including bars and restaurants, must shut for a month, but schools can stay open.
Although the Government has not ruled out a national lockdown they have resisted calls to 'act now', instead insisting there is evidence to suggest the regional approach is working.
But some experts say the tiered system does not go far enough, especially if ministers want to fullfill promises of allowing family get to-gethers at Christmas.
Dr Mike Tildesley, an epidemiologist from the University of Warwick who helped produce a 'reasonable worst-case scenario' for the modelling sub-group of Sage, said tighter measures were needed 'sooner rather than later'.
Pressure is piling on Boris Johnson after France imposed a national lockdown (Picture: Getty)
He told the Guardian: 'As epidemiologists we need to think about the impact on public health and that's really key, but I think it's important for us to acknowledge that the general public has had a pretty rotten year [but] I don't think any of the science group would advocate that we should remove all restrictions at Christmas – it's clear that that's not possible.
'But speaking on behalf of myself, what I would like to see is that we are in a position to do a minor relaxation, for example allowing slightly larger family groups to be together, maybe having the rule of 10 or 12 instead of six.
'To do that we have to do something like a circuit break or something on a more national scale to bring incidents down … sooner rather than later.'
Dr Julian Tang, a consultant virologist at Leicester Royal Infirmary, also said six weeks of restrictions now could allow for a minor relaxation of rules over Christmas without doing too much damage.
Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland have all introduced their own forms of short national lockdowns, with scientists in the devolved regions saying the measure is working and England should follow suit.
Sage proposed a national circuit breaker for the October half-term as early as 16 September. Opinion polls suggested the majority of the public would have supported the move, but the advice was ignored by ministers.
Scientific advisers at the top of Government believe it is now too late for a two-week national circuit-breaker to have enough of an effect and a longer national lockdown is needed to drive the reproduction number, or R value, of the virus below one.
Scientists crunching the numbers estimated that by mid-October there were between 43,000 and 74,000 people being infected with coronavirus every day in England.
Their report said: 'This is significantly above the profile of the reasonable worst-case scenario, where the number of daily infections in England remained between 12,000-13,000 throughout October.'
It added: 'We are breaching the number of infections and hospital admissions in the Reasonable Worst Case (RWC) planning scenario.
'The number of deaths is now in line with the levels in the RWC and is almost certain to exceed this within the next two weeks.'
The Government insists its tiered, regional approach is working (Picture: Getty)
It is thought that all parts of England are on course to eventually end up in tier three restrictions, while deaths could potentially hit 500 per day within weeks.
Despite the grim outlook, Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab suggested the Government was still ploughing ahead with its regional approach.
He said the Government is 'striving' to avoid issuing blanket restrictions nationwide as he insisted targeted measures could slow the growth in cases.
But he did hint that tougher measures could be introduced amid reports officials are drawing up plans to close restaurants and non-essential shops in parts of England with the highest infection rates.
Asked whether a new tier 4 was being considered, Raab told BBC Radio 4's Today programme on Friday: 'We're always ready for further measures that we can take. But I think the most important thing about further measures is that we continue on the track we're on of targeting the virus.'
Boris begs Londoners to stay at home as hospitals reach brink with Covid cases
Matt Hancock self-isolating days after being pictured playing rugby in park

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Lillypop wrote: I completed those v's day quests except crystal heart,so I can gift you marzipan,heart flower, coral heart and golden heart.
You are awesome. My code is 38a6fe.
I only need golden hearts as I've finished the others and will gift as well.
Does anyone understand what GI is trying to say in the note they posted today in the information tab?
I can't be the only one here who thinks this is a total rip-off! Why should helping your friends penalize you? They want you to collect so darn many of everything, and it takes you an hour to request them from your friends, one at a time, then when you finally get them they take them away from you! It makes no sense! How can you get them like this. You really blew it this time, GI!
It would be like herding cats!
i've been getting wall requests for crystal pieces. how are folks doing that!?
BotPaw wrote: i've been getting wall requests for crystal pieces. how are folks doing that!?
Go to the right side of the manor where all the news and events are. Find and click on the Valentines Event. From there you can request from friends for different pieces. From what I can tell these not come out of your inventory. I missed it for a while myself.
i only have the option to buy. no "request" option. anyone else have this?
There are two sorts, the ones you can buy and the ones you can request.
Feel free to add me if you need my help!
My strategy is trade golden heart with angel to get quiver and reply wall request when my count at zero.
And I want to clarify the golden heart still drop after finish the 300 golden hearts quest or not?
Yes the golden hearts still drop after you collect the 300 required but you then need to collect more for various quests.
The number of items needed for these quests is just ridiculous!
Why do i feel like GI hates us that why they create this ridiculous amount of items to be found, that we can request from friends but it may come out of their own inventory, the sweet desert quest need sky high amount of golden hearts to banish and its not 100% guaranteed drop, not to mention, the past few days of playing and with charm running and only 11 magic dust was collected, yet 150 is needed for Valentine charm!!!
Has anyone details of the golden hearts quests? More importantlly the rewawrds. I'd like to know if it is worth the sacrifice of 300 hearts = 60 collection items?
I have no more quests; I only needed the 300 hearts. What are the quests that you had after that?
I'm wondering if no ore showed up since I completed the valentines day quests last year?
Need info for golden heart. If someone had done with golden heart ( collect 300) and a friend sent request for that is it taken away from our inventory too? Consider we still need it to exchange with Cupid.
Sakura wrote: Need info for golden heart. If someone had done with golden heart ( collect 300) and a friend sent request for that is it taken away from our inventory too? Consider we still need it to exchange with Cupid.
Just explored some room to collect golden heart and when I pressed gift button the golden heart is taken away from inventory.
What I've been trying to do (now that I have completed the 300 golden heart quest) is collect enough to trade with one of the valentine snatchins (usually 20 or 30 - I don't have the patience for the 60). After I trade with the snatchins and my heart count is back down to 0, I fulfill whatever golden heart requests are on my wall before starting a new collection. Still, it's a long and laborious process. Sigh.
Notice how you can request the golden heart from friends?? Yes it will be taken away from you if you gift from wall. However, request away and let them sit in your giftbox until you need it.
Collect 30 at a time or whatever amount you need and finish them off by trading with cupid angel (6 items, more worthwhile than the rest)... make sure you have none again in inventory before gifting to friends on wall. That way, you'll get to keep your golden hearts and be able to gift friends freely.Once you have enough V items collected, you can just complete the golden heart quest on the last day of V quest.
paulinelhg wrote: Why do i feel like GI hates us that why they create this ridiculous amount of items to be found, that we can request from friends but it may come out of their own inventory, the sweet desert quest need sky high amount of golden hearts to banish and its not 100% guaranteed drop, not to mention, the past few days of playing and with charm running and only 11 magic dust was collected, yet 150 is needed for Valentine charm!!!
I am up to 3 dusts- woohoo! I finally reached 100 golden hearts, only 200 more to go. I'm still trying to decide if I should keep at it. I'm not having any luck with the anniversary quest either.
Me either...don't have the cake done and not looking like I will finish the valentine quests in the 9 days remaining. Do we know how long the anniversary quests will be valid?
Up to you, but I'm told the 300 heart rewards are coins, exp and a sandwich, with no further quests. I'm going for the collection items myself!
Yes, it takes mine, but I hardly have any, and it lets me keep gifting an infinite amount. So, if some friends worked together, we could give tons of hearts to one or two friends. Maybe gift some back later. Just a thought. I didn't think out ever detail, but I'm sure some of you smart players will. I gifted like 30 hearts today, yet I never had any to begin with.
Does GI take away the 300 golden hearts after you have collected them in your inventory?


text:
Successful NCL Private Offering
NCL's private offering of 100 millions shares at NOK 20 is reported to have been very successful.
The success has been partially attributed to the net earnings projections for the cruise line, which have been set at $35 million in 1985 (incl. $10 million from Royal Viking Line), $53 million in 1986, and $70 million in 1987. It is also noted that the market value of NCL's fleet is considerably higher than its book value.
While the Phoenix project has been postponed, the line has announced plans for a new 2,500 passenger ship, and is determined to maintain its position as the world's largest cruise line.


text:
Home > Israel News
Israeli Parole Board Denies Palestinian Teen Ahed Tamimi Early Release
Board says Tamimi, imprisoned for slapping an Israeli soldier, lacks remorse and remains dangerous
Yotam Berger
Send me email alerts for new articles by Yotam Berger
Ahed Tamimi at the Ofer military prison near Jerusalem, February 13, 2018 Ariel Schalit/AP
A parole board has rejected a request by Ahed Tamimi, the Palestinian teenager who received an eight-month prison sentence after pleading guilty to assaulting an Israeli soldier, for an early release. The Shin Bet security service issued an opinion in the case opposing her release.
"The statements she has made about the case indicate her radical ideology, [and] along with the security situation in the area, [this] demonstrates her potential for danger if she receives an early release," the Shin Bet wrote.
>> My daughter, these are tears of struggle | Bassem Tamimi
The board's decision stated that "it is impossible to ignore the Shin Bet's opinion and the severity of the offenses attributed to the prisoner and especially their circumstances, and the prisoner's position that she will continue in this manner, has no remorse and thus remains dangerous."
It added that although her remaining term of imprisonment was very short, her lack of remorse and the severity of offenses suggested that she remained a risk to security forces.
U.K. rips into Israel over Palestinian teen Tamimi: 'Conviction is emblematic of the conflict'
Video of Palestinian teen Ahed Tamimi's interrogation released by her family
Israel secretly probed whether family members of Palestinian teen Ahed Tamimi are non-related 'light-skinned' actors
Tamimi was arrested in December, a day after a video of her punching, slapping and kicking two Israeli soldiers in a West Bank village went viral. Her initial January indictment included 12 charges going back to 2016. The indictment included five counts of assault against security forces, including stone throwing. She was charged with assaulting a soldier, threatening a soldier, interfering with a soldier in the line of duty, incitement and throwing objects at a person or property.


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Culture Ireland Cultúr Éireann
Promoting Irish Arts Worldwide
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CULTURE IRELAND - AUDIENCES OF 6 MILLION IN 2019
Culture Ireland's review of 2019 reports support of over 450 projects in 56 countries which enabled Irish artists to attract audiences of 6 million during 2019.
Network Meeting in New York
A key event in the Culture Ireland calendar takes place on 13 January 2020 when the annual meeting of the representatives of the Irish Cultural Centres in the US takes place , hosted by Ciaran Madden, Consul General, New York.
Minister Josepha Madigan announced over €1.85m in funding for Irish arts globally
The Minister for Culture, Heritage and Gaeltacht Affairs, Josepha Madigan T.D., is delighted to announce approval of over €1.85m in funding by Culture Ireland for the promotion of Irish arts globally during 2020. A total of €875,800 is directed to enable 150 Irish artists and arts organisations to present projects, covering circus, dance, film, literature, music, opera, theatre and the…
Season's Greetings from Culture Ireland
We wish our artists, audiences and international presenting partners Season's Greetings and look forward to working with you all globally in 2020.
IRISH HARPING RECOGNISED BY UNESCO AS IRISH LIVING HERITAGE
At a meeting of the UNESCO Intergovernmental Committee for the Convention on the Safeguarding of the Intangible Cultural Heritage, which took place in Bogatá, Columbia, Ireland's nomination of Irish Harping was approved, thereby achieving international recognition of Irish Harping as a key element of Ireland's living heritage to be safeguarded for future generations.
Funding Alert —
Funding deadline 13 February 2020
Culture Ireland Strategy 2017-2020
Ireland 2016 Survey
Ireland at Venice
I AM IRELAND
Looking for funding?
The Minister for Culture, Heritage and Gaeltacht Affairs, Josepha Madigan T.D., is delighted to announce approval of over €1.85m in funding by Culture Ireland for the promotion of Irish arts globally during 2020.
A total of €875,800 is directed to enable 150 Irish artists and arts…
Click here to see the full news archive
Culture Ireland
Third Floor, 23 Kildare Street, Dublin 2, D02 TD30
Tel: +353 1 631 3905, 3906, 3908
For information on eligibility and funding criteria, click here
For information on grant schemes, click here
For information on grant payments, click here
Made by Aad


Family tragedy makes Jamie's parent's divorce an impending reality as she struggles to find her way through her guilt. Jamie seems to be finding the hope she is missing in God, while her parents anger and dysfunction festers. In the end, each person will have to decide whether to find hope in Gods ever-present help, or to turn away in angry rebellion.


A 2012 Greek study has measured changes in animal brain proteins after exposure to RF electromagnetic fields, similar to the kind of microwave radiation emitted from cell phones, portable phones, WiFi and wireless computer equipment.
The parts of the brains used for learning and memory were impacted by microwave radiation, including the hippocampus, cerebellum and frontal lobe, at exposures below the ICNIRP (International Commission on Non-Ionizing Radiation Protection) safety guidelines. A total of 143 proteins in the brain were changed over a period of 8 months, providing new evidence for a potential relationship between everyday cell phone use, wireless transmitters and wireless computer equipment and electrosensitivity symptoms, such as headaches, dizziness and sleep disorders, as well as with tumors, Alzheimer's and even metabolic effects.
The study simulated 3 hours of cell phone exposure over eight months, 8 hours of DECT portable phone exposure over eight months, and included a sham exposure control group.
Several proteins employed in the proper functioning of the neurons and proteins of the brain metabolism were impacted in nearly all of the brain regions studied.
One of the researchers, Adamantia Fragopoulou said, "Our study is important because it shows for the first time protein changes in the mouse brain after EMF exposure and in particular in very crucial regions like hippocampus, cerebellum and frontal lobe, all involved in learning, memory and other complicated functions of the mammalian brain. We have demonstrated that 143 proteins are altered after electromagnetic radiation, including proteins that have been correlated so far with Alzheimer's, glioblastoma, stress and metabolism. In its perspective, this study is anticipated to throw light in the understanding of such health effects like headaches, dizziness, sleep disorders, memory disorders, brain tumors, all of them related, to the function of the altered brain proteins."
Here's the link to the full abstract.


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Q: Attribute error white extracting column from a csv file I have the following code to read a csv file into a dataframe.
import pandas as pd
from astropy.table import Table

#reading the data from the dataset file
data=pd.read_csv('winequality-red.csv',sep=',')

#Declaring a class named as One
class One:
    def __init__(self):
        # Assigning the value that are less than 11 in
        # the data set to the value data_lessthan11
        data_lessthan11 = data.loc[(data.quality<11)]

        # Assigning the filtered value from the data_less
        # than11(which consists of values less than 11)
        # which is greater than 5
        self.data_greaterthan5 = data.loc[(data_lessthan11.quality>5)]
        print(data_lessthan11)

#declaring an object for the class One
one = One()

# assigning the whole value from the class one into
# size_One to recall it outside the class
size_One = one.data_greaterthan5

print(size_One)

I am getting the following error:

AttributeError: 'DataFrame' object has no attribute 'quality'

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


Many men thinks that they are doing women a favor by marring them. Well, to some extent, you are really helping her out when you marry her, because you will be providing her with food, clothing, shelter, and most times, emotional support, you are also elevating her social standing and reputation among her peers especially, with those who are not yet married. But let look that this critically.
Who benefit more from the marriage bond when both parties live up to their responsibilities. Above, we have outline the benefits a woman drive when she get married to a responsible Man, now let us outline the benefits of a man when he marries a responsible Woman.
For simplicity, we are using "You" as the man.
She change her name to yours.
She moves in with with.
She build a home for you.
She get pregnant for you.
She get fat as a result.
She almost give up in the labor room due to the unbearable pain of child birth.
The child she delivers bears your name.
She cooks for you and your household still she dies.
Take care of your Parent when they come over.
Brings up your Children and help in disciplining them.
Ensure that you are relaxed at home.
All these are more, she does to the man's benefits, and sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.
So Who is really doing Who a favor when a man and a woman gets married?
Drop your comments and share.


We've all been there, mind running wild; thinking about everything and anything! From our current hardships, to the most random topics we could possibly imagine, sometimes it just feels impossible to get a good nights sleep. I would feel safe saying that up to 75% of people I come across in the clinic would suffer from some form of sleep troubles. A figure that is shocking considering how important sleep is for humans on a physiological level.
Us humans have forgotten what it's really like to 'rest'. We have evolved to consume and fill voids with activity and materialistic 'crap'! The thought of having nothing to do is scary for some. We live such 'busy' and 'frantic' lives, yet when it comes time to recuperate and sleep, why do so many people struggle?
In my opinion, we have completely lost touch with our human evolutionary and biological traits. This lost connection has led us to the mental and physiological problems we face so regularly today, lack of sleep being one of the most prevalent.
Today I want to offer you 6 natural, practical, and very easy tips that you can implement into your daily routine to assist with achieving greater sleeping potential. I've ensured these tips are super simple to implement. They might sound quite strange to you at first, but try them – test them for yourself 🙂 These tips have helped me to significantly improve my own sleep!
Our earth is an untapped source of incredible energy and power. We used to utilise this on a daily basis, however with advancements in technology and industry – we have completely lost connection with our own physical earth. In short, earthing/grounding is the process of placing our skin, feet, hands, BODY in uninterrupted contact with grass, dirt, sand, water, or a conductive surface that is in contact with the earth.
The earth has a mild negative charge. Over time, exposure to harmful radiation, wifi, mobile phone use etc can cause a build up of positive charge through the human body. Grounding/earthing can bring down this positive charge and allow the body to return to a more neutral state. We wear rubber shoes, live indoors, and very rarely venture outside – especially in the cooler months. Some people probably can't remember the last time they last had contact with the earth! Some experts believe that this is one of the reasons behind the rise of many health problems.
One recent study examined 60 people with chronic pain and sleep troubles. 30 of the participants slept on a grounding sheet to simulate earthing, the other 30 slept on a placebo sheet. The report found that over the time of the study, the 30 people sleeping on the grounding reported significant improvements in sleeping patterns, chronic pain, inflammation, respiratory problems, sleep apnea, arthritis and hypertension. The placebo 30 reported no change.
There has also been some amazing findings on the effect grounding/earthing has on short term inflammation control. Thermal imaging found that after just 30 minutes of grounding inflammation within the human body significantly decreases. Considering every dysfunction within the human body comes from inflammation – these findings are incredible.
Personally, grounding has had an amazing effect on my own body. My sleep has improved, and I definitely notice changes in pain and inflammation even just after 15-30 minutes of earthing. Another amazing benefit I noticed was a decrease in general stress and anxiety immediately after grounding. Those that know me know that I am barefoot whenever I get the chance!
Give it a try for yourself. Try to sneak in 30 minutes per day, whether it's in the morning before work, during the day or in the evening as you get home. Don't use the weather as an excuse. Just get out there, back into your natural human state and stand on the earth! Dig your toes into the mud, sprint on grass, bury yourself in sand. It feels incredible, and I can assure, you will feel physiological change! Try it for a day, a week, a month, a life time!
For those wanting to take it to the next level. There are amazing earthing products out on the market. You can purchase earthing massage mats, radiation phone protectors, earthing bed sheets, and heaps more incredible earthing products. See links below!
Another super easy tip that can have significant benefits! Morning sunlight exposure in Australia might be easy in summer, however can be quite challenging in the cooler months. Got any idea where the term 'winter depression' comes from? Lack of exposure to sunlight! Even though exposure may be easier in summer, for the office workers out there – you're probably still lacking.
Like plants, our body feeds off the power of our mighty sun. We need direct sunlight onto our skin and into our eyes, especially in the morning hours. This 2013 report Entrainment of the Human Circadian Clock to the Natural Light-Dark Cycle – noted a significant connection between morning sunlight exposure and regulation of the human circadian rhythm and sleep cycle. It noted that participants that were exposed to morning sunlight reported improvements in their natural ability to develop feelings of sleepiness and wakefulness at the correct times. Participants noted it was much easier to fall asleep at night, and found they were waking with far more energy in the morning.
Exposure to morning sunlight will also assist with regulating feelings of stress and anxiety – I can vouch for this!!
Give it a go – test for yourself. Remember to not wear sunglasses. Try to get as much skin exposed as possible too!
As good as natural light can be for the human body……artificial light is just as bad! Artificial light is all around us. In our LED down-lights, car lights, street lamps, neon signs, computer screens, mobile phones, office lights……it's all around us and it completely f*#$% with our sleep patterns and circadian rhythms. Many of us can relate to letting artificial light pierce through our eyes from the moment we wake to the moment we put our heads back on the pillow. For me, this is one of the major reasons there are so many issues with sleep patterns these days.
Once it hits 7pm, I would highly suggest minimising as much artificial light as possible. Turn off all down-lights (use lamps), limit mobile phone and computer use, and if you need to – ensure your computer and mobile phone are equipped with night-mode and blue block capabilities. A brilliant application for Mac and PC is 'F.Lux' – I highly recommend using these if you are to be using technology at night time. You can also restrict all blue light on your IPhone by going to colour settings and changing the colours and tints available. A simple trick that could be very beneficial!
Blue Block eyewear is a brilliant way to regulate the amount of blue light you are permitting into your eyes. Their range consists of day-time glasses, night-time glasses, and computer glasses. Day-time Ultra450 yellow lenses block all blue light from 400-450nm during day time hours. Their signature night-time Ultra550 Red lenses block all blue and green light that you may encounter before bed. Lastly, their clear computer lens block high energy blue light, which can assist in easing digital eye strain.
This is one I can once again strongly vouch for. I started taking Valerian Root and Camomile Sleep Tea prior to bed around 2 years ago, and I can honestly say it works wonders for me. I generally have 1-2 sometimes 3 cups of this tea with two teabags 30-60 minutes before 'hitting the hay'. After 30 minutes, I notice significant effects of drowsiness and it usually doesn't take long from when my head hits the pillow to when I'm passed out. I don't recommend starting with my dosage (you may not make it to bed HAHA), but test it for yourself and see how you go.
The other amazing benefit of these teas for me was the effect it had on decreasing feelings of stress and anxiety. It has such a nice calming effect on the body, and another reason why I strongly advocate for taking these teas prior to sleeping.
Another really simple trick that most people don't know about. Hundreds and Thousands of years ago there was no light after the sun left the sky, so sleep and waking would occur naturally with the sun setting and rising. Therefore our bodies sleep cycle responds and reacts to darkness. There wouldn't be too much light in a cave or wherever humans used to sleep so your bedroom should be no different. Street lamps, hallway lights, and even moonlight peeping through curtains can effect sleep. After reading this blog, I would suggest testing how dark your bedroom gets when it's time to sleep. If it is not pitch black, I suggest investing in some new blinds or door strips to ensure your room is as dark as possible!
This is a tip I have only recently been experimenting with. I've always liked having indoor plants, however since filling my house with them and introducing a diffuser, I have noticed a much calmer energy and feeling around my house. Both indoor plants and diffusers do wonders for improving air quality, minimising respiratory problems, enhancing productivity, all in turn will assist sleeping patterns!
I recently heard on the grapevine, that a big company in India literally filled their entire building with indoor plants. Over the course of 6 months they noticed a ridiculously significant boost in morale, productivity and overall positivity of their employees. I thought this was incredible!
My suggestion would be to turn your house into a nature sanctuary! Fill it with indoor plants, especially the bedroom!
Also some essential oils to put in your diffuser: Lavender, Peppermint, Clove, Ylang Ylang, Sandalwood, Rose, Camomile! Thanks FP LOU!
Get back to basics guys! Get in touch with nature! Play in the dirt, embrace the sun, drink lots of water, surround yourself with plants, exercise daily, eat a balanced predominantly plant based diet, and be grateful for life! I really hope these tips are helpful and they do wonders for you!