text:
NAIFA elects 2015-16 officers, trustees
The National Association of Insurance and Financial Advisors' representative governing body, the National Council, has elected new officers and trustees at the 2015 NAIFA Career Conference and Annual Meeting, held in New Orleans, Oct. 3-5.
NAIFA's new president is Jules O. Gaudreau, Jr., ChFC, CIC, of the Gaudreau Group, Inc., in Wilbraham, Mass. Gaudreau becomes president after serving as one-year terms as president-elect and secretary.
"I am looking forward to a big year for NAIFA," Gaudreau said. "Our federation, industry and members face a range of challenges and opportunities, ranging from legislative and regulatory issues to changing market demographics to advances in technology. A lot of talented people are joining me on the NAIFA Executive Committee and Board of Trustees, and we are dedicated to fulfilling NAIFA's mission of protecting members' businesses and helping them grow their businesses."
Joining Gaudreau on NAIFA's Executive Committee are: President-elect Paul R. Dougherty, LUTCF, FSS, HIA, of State Farm Insurance Companies in Hyattsville, Md.; Treasurer Matthew S. Tassey, CLU, ChFC, LUTCF, of Principal Financial Group in Portland, Maine; and Secretary Keith M. Gillies, CFP, CLU, ChFC, of Ameritas in La Place, La.
After serving her one-year term as president, Juli Y. McNeely, of McNeely Financial Services, Inc., in Spencer, Wis., becomes immediate past president, and will remain a member of NAIFA's Executive Committee.
Elected to the board for the first time are: Aprilyn Geissler of the Chavez Geissler Agency in Albuquerque, N.M.; Todd G. Grantham, CFP, CLU, ChFC, MSFS, of the Northwestern Mutual Financial Network in Durham, N.C.; Bryon A. Holz, CLU, ChFC, LUTCF, CASL, of Bryon Holz & Associates in Brandon, Fla.; Booker Joseph, CLU, ChFC, FLMI, of United Healthcare in Birmingham, Ala.; and Cammie K. Scott, LUTCF, REBC, RHU, of CK Harp & Associates in Springdale, Ark.
Newly appointed to one-year terms on the Board of Trustees are: Thomas O. Michel of Michel Financial Group in Los Angeles and Van E. Mueller, LUTCF, of New England Financial in Milwaukee.
Remaining on the board as trustees are: David A. Beaty, CLU, ChFC, LUTCF, Michael O. Brown, LUTCF, of MassMutual Financial Group in Oklahoma City, Okla.; Brock T. Jolly, CFP, CLU, ChFC, of Capitol Financial Partners in Vienna, Va.; Charles M. Olson, CLU, ChFC, of OCI Financial in Omaha, Neb.; and James J. Van Ham, CFP, CLU, ChFC, of Country Insurance and Financial Services in Lisle, Ill.


Jan. 1: After an unusually provocative 2017 during which North Korea tested a purported thermonuclear warhead and three intercontinental ballistic missiles, Kim tries to initiate diplomacy in his annual New Year's address. He calls for improved relations and engagement with South Korea, though adds that he has a nuclear button on his desk. Trump responds on Twitter that he has a bigger and more powerful nuclear button, adding "and my Button works!"
Jan. 9: North and South Korean officials meet at a border village and agree on North Korea sending athletes and delegates to the Winter Olympics in the South. Hundreds of North Koreans go to the Pyeongchang Games in February, including Kim's sister, who conveys her brother's desire for an inter-Korean summit with South Korea's president.
March 8: South Korea's presidential national security director Chung Eui-yong visits Kim in Pyongyang and reports that Kim is willing to discuss the fate of his nuclear arsenal with the United States.
March 9: South Korean envoys meet Trump in Washington and deliver an invitation from Kim to meet; Trump accepts.
April 18: Trump confirms that Mike Pompeo, then the CIA chief, had met Kim secretly in North Korea and said "a good relationship was formed" heading into the anticipated summit.
April 21: North Korea says it has suspended nuclear and ICBM tests and plans to close its nuclear test site as part of a shift in its national focus to developing its economy. Trump tweets: "This is very good news for North Korea and the World."
May 9: Pompeo, now U.S. secretary of state, makes another visit to Pyongyang to prepare for the planned Trump-Kim summit. North Korea releases three Americans who had been imprisoned.
May 16: North Korea abruptly cancels a high-level meeting with the South and threatens to cancel the summit with Trump too in protest over U.S.-South Korean military exercises and U.S. comments that the North should follow the "Libya model" of denuclearization by eliminating everything upfront. The North says it won't be unilaterally pressured into abandoning its nukes.
May 22: Trump and Moon meet at the White House to discuss the Trump-Kim talks. The South Korean president says the "fate and the future of the Korean Peninsula hinge" on the meeting in Singapore.
May 24: A senior North Korean diplomat calls U.S. Vice President Mike Pence a "political dummy" for his comments on the North and says it is up to the Americans whether they "meet us at a meeting room or encounter us at (a) nuclear-to-nuclear showdown." North Korea dismantles its nuclear testing ground in front of foreign journalists, but Trump announces hours later that he's pulling out of the summit, citing the North's "tremendous anger and open hostility."
May 25: North Korea attempts damage control, saying it is still willing to hold talks with the United States "at any time, (in) any format." Moon calls Trump's move to cancel the summit "very perplexing" and says Washington and Pyongyang should get the talks back on track.
May 26: Kim and Moon meet at a border village in an effort to revive the summit with Trump. Moon says Kim reaffirmed his commitment to denuclearize their peninsula but also said he was unsure whether he could trust the United States to provide a credible security guarantee in return.
June 5: White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweets the Trump-Kim meeting will be held at Singapore's Capella Hotel.


The world needs to understand the effort by the Left to unseat the duly elected President of the United States, especially when he is doing so much that is good and righteous to make America and the world a better place. It is of paramount importance that people know and understand both sides of the story to fully comprehend the implications and actions that must be taken. This is a tale of two investigations into opposing political parties colluding with foreign agents involving Russia to alter the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election by the commission of campaign fraud and election rigging.
Democrats – Trump colluded with Russia to hack the election and steal the presidency.
Republicans – Hillary colluded with a foreign agent to spread a phony slander of Trump to convince Obama to enlist the FISC to spy on the Trump campaign.
Russian collusion investigation: Mueller has been investigating Trump for a year and come up with bupkis. In his witch hunt he cannot find any kind of crime with which to charge Trump, so has endeavored to claim he has been obstructing the investigation and thus is guilty of Obstruction of Justice. You cannot obstruct justice of a non-existent crime. Instead Mueller has fallaciously charged Trump supporters with crimes.
FISA Warrant investigation: Democrats created a fictional document they called the "Trump Dossier" of Trump having Russia prostitutes pee on the bed slept in by the Obamas. This is not the act of a man of power like Trump, but of an impotent bumpkin like the phony Obama. It is now known as the Steele Dossier since it was his fictional story alone that was used to obtain a FISA warrant to spy on the Trump campaign in violation of the law. This corruption of the court meant to protect Americans from terrorists is proof of the deepest Democrat corruption in America's government.
Rep. Nunes has officially exposed Democrat's scheme that the Left has been slandering the Right over as being a "whacko conspiracy theory," but now proves to be the tip of the iceberg of the worst crime in presidential history.
Democrats say this is all a smoke screen to obscure Trump's Russian collusion to steal the election. It has been made clear that the Russian charge has been Obama's and Hillary's smoke screen to distract from their crime using American intelligence agencies to spy on Trump. President Trump can now ignore Mueller and set him aside and launch a full investigation into the treasonous crimes of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama attempting to steal the election.
Rosenstein and Mueller are investigating a phony crime to cover up the fraud perpetrated by Hillary and Obama. The constitutional crisis will be if President Trump does not prosecute this crime. There was a crime of collusion committed in the 2016 election process, but it was all by Democrats.
Democrats use Super Delegates to override the people's primary choice.
Hillary shafts Bernie Sanders to steal the nomination illegitimately.
Hillary hires foreign agent to craft phony dossier depicting Trump as a perv.
Obama obtains FISA warrants to spy on the Trump campaign.
DNC claimed Russia hacked their servers.
Moslem IT guys discovered to be the perps.
Election night Democrats attempt and fail to stuff ballot boxes enough.
Liberals attempt to coerce Electors to violate their votes.
Leftists launch the "Resistance Movement" through Antifa Nazis.
Liberals invoke 25th Amendment to slander Trump as mentally unfit.
Democrats invent the Russian collusion fraud to delegitimize Trump.
Leftists try to create Obstruction charges since their collusion is a fraud.
The Left charges the Right as conspiracy theorists in an attempt to distract from and cover-up the crimes of Obama in Hillary in spying on Trump.
This entry was posted in Politics and tagged 2016 Election Tampering, Adam Schiff, Democrat Election Fraud, Devon Nunes, DoJ Corruption, Donald Trump, Election fraud, FBI Corruption, Mueller Investigation, Nunes Memo, Obama Hillary Campaign Spying, Russian Collusion, Trump FISA Warrant spying. Bookmark the permalink.


A worn out teddy bear passed down from a legendary thief to his disciple. When the master thief passed away, the bear became a memento for his young apprentice. It is rumored that his spirit resides within the bear and continues to watch over his disciple.
This page was last edited on 5 November 2018, at 09:12.


text:
Sharpe's Tiger (Richard Sharpe's Adventure Series #1)
Sharpe's Tiger (Richard Sharpe's Adventure Series #1) by Cornwell, Bernard
Sharpe's Devil (Richard Sharpe's Adventure Series #21) by Cornwell, Bernard
Sharpe's Battle (Richard Sharpe's Adventure Series #12) by Cornwell, Bernard
Sharpe's Trafalgar (Richard Sharpe's Adventure Series #4) By Bernard Cornwell
Details about Sharpes Tiger (Richard Sharpes Adventure Series #1) by Bernard Cornwell
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Sharpes Tiger (Richard Sharpes Adventure Series #1) by Bernard Cornwell
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Sharpe's Triumph: Richard Sharpe and the Battle of Assaye, September 1803...
Sharpe's Battle : Richard Sharpe and the Battle of Fuentes de O?oro, May 1811
Sharpe's Triumph (Richard Sharpe's Adventure Series #2) by Cornwell, Bernard
Sharpe's Prey : Richard Sharpe and the Expedition to Copenhagen 1807
Sharpe's Trafalgar : Richard Sharpe und die Schlacht von Trafalgar, 21....
Sharpe's Prey: The Expedition to Denmark, 1807 by Cornwell, Bernard Book The
Sharpe's Rifles (Richard Sharpe's Adventure Series #1)
Sharpe's Tiger: The Siege of Seringapatam, 1799... by Cornwell, Bernard Hardback
Sharpe's Skirmish: Richard Sharpe and the Defe... by Cornwell, Bernard Paperback
Sharpes Fury: Richard Sharpe & the Battle of Barrosa, March 1811 (Richard Sharp
Sharpe's Havoc: Richard Sharpe & the Campaign in Northern Portugal, Spring...
Sharpe's Regiment No. 8 : Richard Sharpe and the Invasion of France, J-ExLibrary
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A book that has been read but is in good condition. Very minimal damage to the cover including scuff marks, but no holes or tears. The dust jacket for hard covers may not be included. Binding has minimal wear. The majority of pages are undamaged with minimal creasing or tearing, minimal pencil underlining of text, no highlighting of text, no writing in margins. No missing pages. See the seller's listing for full details and description of any imperfections. See all condition definitions- opens in a new window or tab
Author: Bernard Cornwell Language: English
Publication Year: 2012 Format: Paperback
ISBN: 9780060932305 EAN: 9780060932305
"It was a bloody awful shot," Sharpe said."My mother could lay a gun better than that.""I didn't think you had a mother," Private Garrard said."Everyone's got a mother, Tom.""Not Sergeant Hakeswill," Garrard said, then spat a mix of dustand spittle. . . . "Hakeswill was spawned of the devil."Richard Sharpe Soldier, hero, rogue the man you always want on your side. Born in poverty, he joined the army to escape jail and climbed the ranks by sheer brutal courage. He knows no other family than the regiment of the 95th Rifles, whose green jacket he proudly wears." As a young man, Sharpe is an illiterate private who must pose as a deserter to oust the ruthless Tippoo of Mysore from his throne. "The world may have a new literary hero. His name is Richard Sharpe."--"Philadelphia Inquirer." From New York Times bestselling author Bernard Cornwell, now available in paperbackthe world-renowned Sharpe's Rifles series comes to a new generation of readers, beginning with this first exciting adventure. Bestselling historical novelist Bernard Cornwell chronicles the rise of Richard Sharpe, a Private in His Majesty's Army at the siege of Seringapatam. "The greatest writer of historical adventures today." Washington Post Critically acclaimed, perennial New York Times bestselling author Bernard Cornwell (Agincourt, The Fort, the Saxon Tales) makes real history come alive in his breathtaking historical fiction. Praised as "the direct heir to Patrick O'Brian" (The Economist), Cornwell has brilliantly captured the fury, chaos, and excitement of battle as few writers have ever doneperhaps most vividly in his phenomenally popular novels following the illustrious military career of British Army officer Richard Sharpe during the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Sharpe's Tiger introduces readers to Sharpe, a private in His Majesty's Army at the siege of Seringapatam in India in September 1803, as the fearless but inexperienced young soldier undertakes an essential undercover mission that places him on the wrong side of the conflict when the British assault on the city begins. Perhaps the San Francisco Chronicle said it best: "If only all history lessons could be as vibrant." From New York Times bestselling historical novelist Bernard Cornwell, the first exciting adventure in the world-renowned Sharpe's Rifles series, now available in paperback with gorgeous packaging for a new generation of readers. Cornwell chronicles the rise of Richard Sharpe, a Private in His Majesty's Army at the siege of Seringapatam. "The greatest writer of historical adventures today." --Washington Post Critically acclaimed, perennial New York Times bestselling author Bernard Cornwell (Agincourt, The Fort, the Saxon Tales) makes real history come alive in his breathtaking historical fiction. Praised as "the direct heir to Patrick O'Brian" (The Economist), Cornwell has brilliantly captured the fury, chaos, and excitement of battle as few writers have ever done--perhaps most vividly in his phenomenally popular novels following the illustrious military career of British Army officer Richard Sharpe during the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Sharpe's Tiger introduces readers to Sharpe, a private in His Majesty's Army at the siege of Seringapatam in India in September 1803, as the fearless but inexperienced young soldier undertakes an essential undercover mission that places him on the wrong side of the conflict when the British assault on the city begins. Perhaps the San Francisco Chronicle said it best: "If only all history lessons could be as vibrant." In a battery of events that will make a hero out of an illiterate private, a young Richard Sharpe poses as the enemy to bring down a ruthless Indian dictator backed by fearsome French troops. The year is 1799, and Richard Sharpe is just beginning his military career. An inexperienced young private in His Majesty's service, Sharpe becomes part of an expedition to India to push the ruthless Tippoo of Mysore from his throne and drive out his French allies. To penetrate the Tippoo's city and make contact with a Scottish spy being held prisoner there, Sharpe has to pose as a deserter. Success will make him a sergeant, but failure will turn him over to the Tippoo's brutal executioners -- or, worse -- his man-eating tigers. Picking his way through an exotic and alien world. Sharpe realizes that one slip will mean disaster. And when the furious British assault on the city finally begins, Sharpe must take up arms against his true comrades to preserve his false identity, risking death at their hands in order to avoid detection and thus to foil the Tippoo's well-set trap.
eBay Product ID (ePID) 462710
Author Bernard Cornwell
Number Of Pages 400 pages
Series Sharpe
Publisher HarperCollins Publishers
Series Volume Number 1
Copyright Date 1999
Weight 10.6 Oz
Length 8 In.
Group Trade
Classification Method
LCCN 99-030288
LC Classification Number PR6053.O75S56 1999
Dewey Decimal 823.914
Dewey Edition 21
"Cornwell writes more gripping battle scenes than any other contemporary author." (Kirkus Reviews)
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by skeetbcd08061996 Nov 25, 2017
Sharpe Novels by Bernard Cornwell
Be sure to read this first as several main characters are introduced and followed in later novels. If you are interested in an infantry man's view of the Napolean Wars, read this series. Skeet
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: pre-owned | Sold by: leeward7
by jeralferrel0 Aug 01, 2018
Great action adventure read
Great military history fiction
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: new | Sold by: grandeagleretail

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
By JOD,
February 26, 2004 in General Anarchy
JOD 0
Interests:I'm a Libra who likes lawsuits and Cooking with spice
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a mop.
Grande Mastere Dreade 672 posts
warbird 646 posts
Scott Roberts 364 posts
GRUMPY 239 posts
P_Wop
Ed Lada
I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd, but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for th
charm 0
Location:Pacific NW
Interests:J-24 mostly, occasional Thistle, J-35, and coming soon a laser
Two muffins are baking in the oven, one muffin turns to the other and says, "damn it's ot in hear."
The other muffin replies, "AHHH, A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Willsail4food 1
Willsail4food
I came home one day and said to my girlfriend "Hey honey you should rub toilet paper on your tits."
"WHY?!?" she replied.
"It'll make them bigger, look what it did for your ass!"
Guy walks into a bar and orders 4 martinis.
Bartender asks "What's the occasion?"
Guy says "I'm celebrating my first blowjob."
The bartender says "Congratulations!"
Guy replies "Thanks, if this doesn't get the taste out, NOTHING will."
Peacefrog 34
Peacefrog
Fins sent this out this morning, all the Canucks will love it!
President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country
to invade next, when his telephone rang...
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up
'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am
callin' to tells ya dat weare officially declaring war on you ey!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big
is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself,
me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from
the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in
my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm
tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to
one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to
ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war
is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am
sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can
feed two million prisoners."
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
StevenRolland 0
StevenRolland
Location:East Coast, UK
Interests:I part own and race the National Sonata "Figaro" primarily on the rivers Blackwater and Crouch on the east cost of England
A fish swims into a wall........Damn
Two gays are in a hotel room and the hotel catches on fire. Which one gets out first, the one on top, or the one on the bottom??
The one on the bottom, he already has his shit packed.
Big Stuff 6
Location:The South
What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
One doesn't follow you around after dropping a load in it.
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
Open the car door.
Gandhi 0
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
Oxygen Mask 2
Oxygen Mask
Location:Oregon USA
Superman was standing on the roof of the tallest building in Gotham, surveying the city with his super vision. Down on the roof of another building he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing nude! He tries not to look, upholder of the morals and all, but he just can't help staring. She's just laying there on her back with her legs spread! Pretty soon he can't stand it and he gets this idea: I can swoop down there with my super speed, get a little, and swoop away so fast no one will know it was me. So he zooms down, hump hump hump hump, and zooms away in flash.
"What the hell was THAT?" yells Wonder Woman.
And the Invisible man says, "I don't know, but my ass sure hurts!"
After the Great Britain Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
Location:norcal™
whats the difference between a bonus and a boner?
your wife will blow your bonus
guy walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist, "do you have any condoms with insecticide?"
pharmacist says, "you mean spermicide don't you?"
guy says, "no, i said insecticide. my wifes got a fucking bug up her ass and i'm going after it"
..._/)..._/)...
Larry 0
Location:Chicago IL, U.S.A.
Interests:Owned Paceship Eastwind 25, then C&C 26 long ago. Love yacht racing and cruising, golf, billiards, yacht photography, one wife, two grown kids, and now am grandfather of three, Hanna and Ava, and a new grandson, Parker. : )
Did you ever hear about the woman named Marilyn Miller?
She had her initials tattooed on her cheeks, and every time she bent over, it said "MOM" or "WOW"
Oh dear. We've resorted to blond jokes.
Oh well, hear goes:
What do you call four blonds sitting on a bench?
A Wind Tunnel
What do you call a blond with dyed brown hair?
How do blond turn on the lights in the morning?
Location:Hampton, VA
The three blondes are walking through the woods when they came across some tracks.
The first blonde said "These are deer tracks!"
The second blonde said "No you twit, these are bear tracks!"
The third blonde got hit by the train.
Pedro 2
Location:Corpus Christi, Texas
A blonde is walking through the woods and comes to the edge of a lake. She sees another blonde on the far shore and calls out "How do you get there to the other side of this lake?"
The other blonde responds "Silly! You're already on the other side!"
How many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the drinks.
OK, blonde joke 1st:
Why can't blondes eat pickles?
They'd get their head stuck in the jar.
And what I came here for:
A Turkish woman was swimming one day when she sees another woman come out of the pool with a lit cigarette. The Turkish woman tries it and it doesn't work. She asks the woman how she keeps her cigarette lit. She replies: I just put a condom over it. The Turkish woman goes to the drug store and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms. The clerk asks: What size would you like? She replies: I don't know, big enough to fit my camel.
Three mice meet at a convention in Dallas. Aftger spending the day walking the show floor, the three repair to local tavern to have drink.
After a couple of drinks, they begin discussing who comes from the tougher town. The first mouse says, "I'm from Brooklyn, and we're so tough that we grind up rat poison and put it in our coffe so we can start the day off with a nice buzz."
The second mouse says, "That's nothing. In L.A., when we find a rat trap, first we eat the cheese, then we lay down under the bar and use it as becn press to work off the calories."
The third mouse is a local. He takes a long pull form his beer and gets up as if to leave.
"Where are you going?" ask the out-of-towners.
"Well," drawled the third mouse. 'I've heard about all the bullshit I can stand for one night. And besides, I'm late. I've got to go home and screw the cat."
Lars P 0
Lars P
Location:Stockholm, Sweden
How do you define a competition man?
He finishes first and third in the same masturbation contest.
Bill J 0
Bill J
What do you call one blonde blowing into another blonde's ear?
Rodrigging 2
Rodrigging
Location:Michigan
A blonde girl comes home from school one day beaming with pride. She tells her mother that she was abel to count to 100 when all the the kids in the class could only get to 20. I'ts because I blonde right mom she asks and her mother says yes dear.
The next day same deal except this time she was the only one to complete her a,b,c's. It's because I'm blonde right Mom? Yes dear her mother says.
The next day she starts telling her mother about how she was able to float in the pool through almost the entire gym class while all the other kids sank like stones.
It's because I'm blonde right mom, she says.
No dear her mother replies, it's because your 24 and have 36d breasts, those things would float a PWC.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face.
A 3 legged dog walks into a bar and says I'm lookin fer the man that shot ma paw.
Three men are sitting around the bar discussing their prowess in bed. The first man, a Frenchmen states proudly that he had made love to his wife twice last night and the morning she kissed him weetly and told him she loved him.
The next man, an Italian, discredits the Frenchmen by stating that he had made love to his wife thrre times last night and in the morning she made him breakfast and told him she could never love another.
Meanwhile, the third man, a Texan, just sat there listening attentivly.
The Frenchmen asks smuggly, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
The Texan replies, "Just once."
The Italian, with a great deal of attitude says, "Just once? That poor woman, what did she say to you this morning?"
The Texan replies, "Don't stop!"
JimB 23
JimB
Location:Red Deer Alberta
A Dutchman from Innisfail, Alberta came into the local pub with a big grin on his face anxious to tell his buddies about his most recent sex experience.
Tells his buddies he was walking along the railroad tracks when he came upon a young lady tied to the tracks just like in the movies. He untied her and took her home. They had sex all over the house. Him on top , her on top, doggy style etc. This went on all day.
One of his buddies gets very interested and asks him if she was pretty.
The Dutchman responds, I don't know - I never did find her head.
Rusty 0
Location:Toronto, ON, Canada
What do you call a brunette with bad breath?
A blonde doing a handstand.
This is only safe to tell good friends....
So I was driving down the street the other day and I hit your mom. I was like OH CRAP, that's Mrs. Johnson(sorry I don't know your mom's name). I got out and asked her if she was OK. "Yes" she replied "but I have to ask you, why didn't you swerve to go around me?!?" I replied "I have to be honest with you Mrs. Johnson, I didn't think I had enough gas."
A bus full of of (whatever race/creed/religion/etc) drove off a cliff the other day. Everyone aboard died. It was a crying shame......there were still three empty seats.
what do you call a person that speaks 3 languages...trilingual
what do you call a person that speaks 2 languages...bilingual
what do you call a person that speaks 1 language...American
Sailzfast 0
Sailzfast
Location:Connecticut
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just
stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was
looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top,
Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then raised her foot and stomped them
flat and said "Well, it might be ok in San Francisco or Massachusetts but we're
not having any of that crap here in Texas."
ppSailor01 0
ppSailor01
Kerry will beat Bush in '04
Stinky from USC 0
Stinky from USC
Location:Parts Unknown - No fixed address
Interests:"Did you ever think that maybe there is more to life than being really really really ridiculously good-looking?"-Derek Zoolander

Archie: "Are you totally deranged?"
Otto: "You..pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, ASSHOLE!"
Archie: "How very interesting. You're a true Vulgarian aren't you?"
Otto: "You're the Vulgarian...you FUCK!"
what do you call a person that barely speaks one language ... American
I thought that was French?
Why do lawyers always wear neck ties?
They keep their foreskins from popping over their heads and smothering them.
How does a gay man know if his partner has been cheating on him?
His dick tastes like shit.
GreenBowman 0
GreenBowman
best avaatar of the day goes to SAILZFAST!,
a man returns a mercedes back to the showroom after taking this sweet lookin car out for a test drive, the mercedes is battered to shit covered in crap and a split windscreen, the furious salesman comes over to this guy, smug ass hell, and the salesman asks him calmly, umm sar what the fuck did you do to our car the guy replies smiling ran over a Paki, to which the sales man replies fair enough but that dosen't explain the state of the car, the guy replies fairly appolegeitc yeah sorry bout that drove through 4 fields to catch up with that bastard,
disclaimer: it is not the authors intent to racially discriminate anybody of pakistan background just piss them off.
How many Zons does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the bulb and the other to execute him.
As far as your avatar--- I don't think I've seen bloodhounds run that fast before. LOL
Q: What do you call a camel with two humps?
A: A camel
Q: What do you call a camel with one hump?
A: A dromedary
Q: What do you call a camel with no humps?
A: Humphrey
470boy 0
470boy
Interests:470's, Shields, Laser II's, S&S 50
Little Johnny walks into a brothel toting a dead frog on a string and asks for a whore with herpes.
The Madam starts to laugh…."we don't have those here."
Johnny slaps down $100 and repeats his order. "I want me a whore with herpes!"
Again the Madam replies…."we don't have those here."
Johnny slaps another $100 on the table and says "I want me a whore with herpes"
The Madam replies "last door on the left."
Little Johnny nods and proceeds down the hall, toting his dead frog on a string.
5 minutes later Johnny comes out of the room, nods at the Madam and proceeds to leave when the Madam asks:
"Look kid, what's you story? You walk in here, pay $200 for a whore with herpes, and you have a dead frog on a string."
Little Johnny replies: "I just went in there a fucked that whore with herpes. When I go home, I'm going to fuck my babysitter. When my parents get home, my dad will drive the babysitter home. On the way home, he's going to fuck the babysitter. Then when my dad gets back, he's going to fuck my mom. And in the morning, when my dad leaves for work, my mother is going to fuck the mailman….and that's the mother fucker who killed my frog!!!!
Billy looks over the fence and his neighbor Jimmy digging a hole. Jimmy is crying.
Billy asks why he's crying and Jimmy sniffles and says my "Burying my bird" and keeps on digging.
Pretty soon Billy says "That's a pretty big hole for a bird." and Jimmy says "He's inside your damn cat."
An Englishman, a Dutchman and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Dutchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back.
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Dutchman in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).
The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Englishman replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.
"Tie the Frenchman to my back."
ro! 44
ro!
Location:Bum fuck usa
Interests:Not providing profile info
How many fighter pilots does it take to change a lightbulb? One..... he just has to hold it and the world revolves around him?
(Disclaimer - my GF sent that to me. I wonder what she was trying to say?)
She was trying to tell you that you are a sexist, egotistical arsehole but I guess you didn't listen.
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A doberman.
An old man walks into a whore house and asks the Madam for a girl with gonorrhea.
"I'm sorry, " said the madam. "We run a clean house here. None of our girls have any form of V.D."
"Nonsense," said the old man. "I've been in whore houses all over the world, and I 've never seen one that wasn't rife with gonorrhea."
"Bring me one of your fluzies now."
Not one to lose the opportunity of a fee, the madam goes to one of the girls. "Nancy, there's an old coot in the parlor who insists on having a girl with gonorrhea. You go and humor him for a while."
Dutifully, the girl goes about her business whith the old man. When they're done and the old man is about to leave, the girl tells him, "Say old man, that was fun, but you know something? I don't really have gonorrhea."
"Well," said the old man. "You do now."
Ted walks into a whore house and asks the madam for the best piece of ass in the establishment.
"Bernie!" yells the madam. "Lube up Charlotte!" Then she says to Ted, "Charlotte's one of our very best ladies. She'll cost you $200."
"$200'" says Ted. "I didn't bring that much money. Maybe I better settle for second best."
"No problem says the madam. "Bernie, lube up Betsy!!" Then to Ted, "She's only $100."
"I hate to admit it," says Ted, "but I only have $50. What can you do for that?"
"Bernie!" shouts the madam. "Lube up!!
In Texas, there are a group known as the Texas Aggies, and as you may know, they are not considered to be among the brightest of God's creatures.
One day, three Aggies taking a class in animal husbandry were instructed by their professor to take a prize bull out to a certain field to service a cow.
Seeing the look of confusion on their faces, the professor explained that he meant that they were to ensure that the bull and the cow had sex.
Later that day, the professor got a call from the local hospital that his students were there and were all bruised and beat up. Concerned, he ran over to the emergency room to see them. Sure enough, they had multiple contusions and a few fractures.
"What happened boys?" asked the professor. "Didn't the bull want to cooperate?"
"Sure he did," said the Aggies, "but have you ever tried to get a cow on her back?"
The best friend of a young Polish fella who happens to be a virgin decides to get him laid for his 21st birthday.
He takes him down to the local cat house and fix him up with a gal and she takes him to her room. The hooker askes him what he likes and he tells her it's his first time and would she recomend something. The hooker suggests a little 69 to begin with and they get in their positions. While they're going at it the gal lets a rather ripe fart that damn near gags the poor newbie. He stops looks up and says I'm really sorry but I don't think I can take 68 more of those.
OK, one more just so I can get my total posts up to an even 100.
One day, an inexperieinced Aggie decided it was time to become a man. So he saddled up his old plow horse and headed into town. Once there, he made his way to the local house of ill repute and asked the lady in charge for a date.
"Well." explained the lady. "Before you can date one of my girls, you have to show me a rubber and give me $50. Then you can pick out any one of the girls over there on the couch and go upsatairs."
"OK ma'am. What's a rubber and where do get one?"
"Go to the men's room in the gas station across the street. There's a machine on the wall where you can buy one for not very much."
So the Aggie goes across the street and checks out the machine. He's nervous because he only has 50 dollars and 75 cents. Fortunately for him, there are three choices. He can have a white one for 25 cents, a black one for 50 cents and an orange one for 75 cents.
Thinking that the girl will think he is cheap if if he buys the white one, he is about to buy the orange one when he thinks that might look showey. His best bet is to buy the black one he decides.
He goes back across the street, shows the condom to the madam and gives her the $50. He then picks out a real cute gal and goes upstairs to become a man.
Now he is a sentimental Aggie, and once he's done, he starts to feel guilty. She's a pretty girl, and he thinks she shouldn't spend her life in this kind of place.
Right away, he proposes. They get married and move out to the farm. About seven months later, she gives birth to a healthy boy.
A few years go by, and it is time for the boy to go to school. At the end of his first day, the boy comes running up from the bus stop in tears.
"What's wrong boy?" asks the Aggie.
"Daddy," sobbed the boy, "all the boys and girls at school made fun of me because I'm black and you and Momma are white."
"That don't mean nothing 'cept you just cost more than they did. Hell boy for another two-bits, you coulda been orange."
Sorry Jeff B, I need a victim.
Jeff B arrives in port after a long and gruelling Transpac and decides his first stop ashore will be at the local whorehouse. He arrives at the establishment, finds the right girl and they engage in an act that we'll just call "adult recreation". Midway through their labors of the night Jeff B starts wondering how he's doing (since it has been so long since his last act).
Jeff B: "So honey, how am I'm doing?"
Whore: "Well, sailor you're going about 3 knots".
Jeff B: "So what does that mean?"
Whore: "Well, you're knot in, you're knot hard, and you're knot getting your money back".
Wino 0
Location:Rhode Island
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts
The shrink says,
"Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before
A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The barman says
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A piece of string walks in to a bar, sits down and orders a beer.
Bartender says "Hey! We don't serve your kind in here! Get Out!"
As the string slinks out he sees another piece of string going in.
"Don't bother. They don't want us here."
Second piece of string ties himself into a figure eight and slaps himself against the wall, walks in, sits down and orders a beer.
Bartender says "Hey! You look like string! We don't serve string in here! Are you string?"
Second string says "Nope. Frayed knot."
A first grade teacher is teaching the class about morals. She tells a story with a moral and then asks the class if they have any stories they'd like to share.
Molly raises her hand. "My aunt raises chickens and one day I went out to collect the eggs. On the way back I dropped the basket. All the eggs broke. The moral: Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
Very good Molly. Praises the teacher. Anyone else have a story?
Kelly is next. "My mom has cows on ouir farm. I milked one of the cows and tripped and spilled the milk. I was upset, but my mom said it was OK. Moral: Don't cry over spilled milk.
"Excellent, anyone else?" Asks the teacher.
A quiet kid sitting at the back of the class raises his hand.
"Bobby, you have a story to tell?!" The teacher exclaims, he's never participated voluntarily before.
Bobby says "My Dad was in Vietnam. He was on patrol one day with his unit and they were ambushed by 150 Viet Cong soldiers. He looked around and the rest of his unit was dead. He jumped into a fox hole. All he had was 2 machine guns, two grenades, his sidearm and a bottle of Jack.
He took a big swig of the Jack, jumped out with one of the machine guns and killed 50 Viet Cong soldiers. He jumped back into the fox hole, took another swig of the Jack, jumped back out with the other machine gun and killed another 50 soldiers. He jumped back in the foxhole, drank some more jack, lobbed the grenades and killed 40 soldiers. He finished off the bottle and jumped out with his sidearm and killed the remaining 10 soldiers."
"My dad killed 150 Viet Cong singlehandedly!" Bobby says proudly.
Rather disgusted and confused the teacher asks "Bobby WHAT is the moral of this story?!?"
"DON'T FUCK WITH MY DAD WHEN HE'S DRINKING!!!"
As a jew, I'd like to here some good jewish jokes damnit, we've insulted everyone else. EQUAL RIGHTS!
Warthog 0
Someone wanted Jewish....?
2 Jewish best mates, 1 is a doctor, the other a Lawyer, Lawyer calls Dr very concerned about his wife, so they agree to get Yetta in for tests.
6 days later, the Dr rings the lawyer
Joseph Oivey.....
Hymie - nice of you to call......
Listen, Yetta's tests, we may have an issue.....
Oh mama - whats with the issue?
2 tests got mixed up - we don't know if your Yetta got AIDS or Altzheimers.....
My Life.....Poor me ....Poor Yetta.....Hymie what do I do.....
Joseph - that part is simple, tonight let her out for a walk, if she comes back - DOnot sleep with it.......
On the Cross:
Jesus to St Paul at the base of the cross.....
"This is a hell of a way to spend Easter".......
Brian 0
Location:Philadelphia, PA
A rabbi and a priest were sitting next to each other on a plane. After a short while, a conversation starts.
Priest: "So Rabbi, I understand that you are suppose to not eat pork, but have you ever tried it?"
Rabbi: "Yes, there was one time I had a ham sandwich."
Priest: "And did you think it was good?"
Rabbi: "Yeah, it wasn't bad."
Priest (snickering) "Uh-huh..."
A few minutes later the conversation continues:
Rabbi: "So Father, I understand that you are suppose to remain celebate. Have you ever succombed to the temptations of the flesh?"
Priest: "Yes, there was one time back in college."
Rabbi: "I see. So, wouldn't you say it was much better than pork?"
Not My Real Name 3,442
Not My Real Name
So one day the priest, the Baptist Minister, and thr Rabbi all bought new cars.
The priest, when he got his home rubbed holy oil on the hood and sprinkled it with some holy water. The Baptist to his to a car wash and ran it through with just plain water to "Baptize" it.
The Rabbi got a hacksaw and took an inch off the tailpipe...
oneguyfromdetroit 15
oneguyfromdetroit
Location:Detroit
Interests:Sailing, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Motorcycles
What's the difference between a Jewish woman and Jello?
Jello wiggles when you eat it
racing ron 0
racing ron
Location:Hamble - UK
What do clouds and women have in common?
Sooner or later they fuck off and it's a nice day.
Why don't lesbians wear make up and diet at the same?
It's hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face.
Three friends attend wake of business associate.
Irishman places $20 bill in the casket.
Italian guy does the same, drops $20 bill into the casket.
Jewish guy throws in a check for $60 and removes the two twenties!
Two Cold Dogs 1
Two Cold Dogs
American scientists decide they have to study the minds and thinkings of several nationalities of man. The build a 10' x 10' x 10' stainless steel room and in the room place two perfectly round 6" stainless steel diameter balls. They then recruit several men to see how they react to isolation within the room.
The first test subject is a devout Buddhist. He is placed in the room and the scientists begin to observe his reactions. After the first day he has done nothing but stare at the two balls. The next day is the same. On the third day they look into the room to see the one of the balls balanced perfectly on the other, the Buddhist is in the lotus position with his fingertips together, meditating. The scientists duly note the reaction and congratualate themselves.
Next, the scientists place an Englishman in the room. For the first day they observe him studying the balls and the corners of the room. The next day is the same. The third day they look in and see the Englishman playing a solitary game of snooker. The scientists duly note the reaction and congratualate themselves.
Next, the scientists place a BN in the room. They come back five minutes later to see him scratching his head, one ball is missing and the other is broken.
lumpywater 0
lumpywater
Location:Baltimore/Chesapeake Bay
Interests:Sailing, rock climbing, skiing, weight lifting, reading, politics
How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, let the poor fuckers do it.
How many democrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
30. 1 to actually screw in the lightbulb while the 29 others are representing every minority group that may be affected by the lightbulb's change.
Two Aliens land on a desert highway in the middle of nowhere. They approach an old abandoned gas station in order to make contact with the humans. Confusing an old gas pump with a human being, Alien number one approaches it and says "Take me to your leader."
Alien two says to Alien one, "Dude, I don't know about this"
Angry that the gas pump is not responding to his questioning, Alien one says again, "take me to your leader, or im going zap you with my ray gun!"
Alien two, becoming more and more scared says: "I don't think it is a good idea to question this human, and I really think we should leave!"
At this point, Alien one is so anrgy that the gas pump is not responding, he pulls out his ray gun, asks once again "last chance, take me to your leader!" The pump does not respond, so he shoots it, despite two's warning against further questioning of the human.
The force of the explosion causes the two Aliens to be blown half way across the desert. When they regain consciousness, Alien one goes "man, all I did was question him and when the insolent human did not respond, I shot him and he exploded...that has never happened before!"
Alien two says "listen, I told you it was a bad idea to fuck with a guy who can wrap his dick around his arm 5 times and stick it in his ear"
And one last one for Jeff B
What do Fighter Pilots use for Birth Control?
Their Personalities.
Location:Brooklyn
Interests:.25% above prime
a paddy, welshman, & a scot are all applying for the queens bodyguard
the paddy comes into the directors office & the director hands him a 38 special- says yr wife is in the next room, take this gun & shoot her.
the paddy looks at the gun & then the director- says sorry, but i love her too much
the welshman comes in- same speech- goes into the next room, comes back * says im just not a killer
the scotsman comes in, takes the gun, say 'right' * goes into the next room. quickly, you hear six shots, bang bang bang bang bang bang- then the sounds of furniture being shoved around
he comes back to the director's office, puts the smoking gun back down * says 'there were blanks in teh gun, i had to strangle the bitch'
moxie 1
What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
We DO taste like chicken.
Catching The Drunks
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and drove off, only at the speed limit. The police officer followed him about about three blocks, then pulled pulled him over, read him his rights, and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. He asked if the man was the designated driver. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
minibiter 0
minibiter
Interests:I primarily sail a Laser 2. I'm also finishing up my Masters in Engineering. Concentration in Composites. Wish me luck!
a termite walks into a bar and says is the bartender here?
how do you kill a blonde?
-- scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool
-- spikes on her shoulder pads (swinging head from side to side - 'I dont know!')
brunette blows into a blondes ear - blonde says - thanks for the refill!
boguing 29
boguing
A blonde boarded a BA flight from Heathrow to New York and shortly after take off walked into first class and sat down in a spare seat. A stewardess asked for her boarding pass, and on seeing that it's economy asks her to return to her own seat.
The blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm flying first class to New York" Not wanting to cause a scene, the stewardess backed off and reported to the cabin crew director.
So he approaches the woman and also asks her to return to her seat. The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm flying first class to New York". Once again, not wishing to cause trouble, he retreats and reports to the Captain. "No problem" says he, "My wife's blonde"
The Captain hands control over to his co-pilot and walks back to the blonde, bends down and whispers into her ear. She immediately gets up and goes back to her seat.
The cabin crew are impressed and asked how he had done it.
"I told her that First Class doesn't go to New York"
GRUMPY 49
Location:Balikpapan, Indonesia
Interests:Hobie Miracle 20
Why don't women have any brains??
Cause they haven't got a dick to keep 'em in.
will probably go to hell for this one,
>what was jesus last words on the cross?
>none of ye bastards eat my easter egg I'll be back on sunday
Harry Pattison 3
Harry Pattison
Location:Newport Beach sometimes
Subject: Bud Abbot and Lou Costello in the 21st Century
ABBOT: Super Duper Computer Store... Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou
ABBOT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou
ABBOT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOT: Do you want a computer with windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOT: Software for windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOT: Yes
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOT: I recommend office with windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just
say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOT: word.
COSTELLO: what word?
ABBOT: word in office.
COSTELLO: the only word in office is office.
ABBOT: the word in office for windows.
COSTELLO: which word in office for windows?
ABBOT: the ! word you get when you click the blue w
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOT: yes, you want real one.
COSTELLO: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOT: real one.
COSTELLO: if it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3&4. Can I
watch them?
ABBOT: of course.
COSTELLO: great, with what?
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?
ABBOT: you click the blue 1
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOT: the blue 1.
COSTELLO: is that different from the blue w?
ABBOT: the blue 1 is Realone and the blue w is word.
COSTELLO: but there's three words in office for windows!
ABBOT: no, just one. but it's the most popular word in the world
COSTELLO: it is?
ABBOT: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.
COSTELLO: and that word is real one?
ABBOT: real one has nothing to do with word. Real one isn't even part
of office.
COSTELLO: stop! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping you have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOT: money.
COSTELLO: that's right. What do you have?
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOT: it comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: what's bundled to my computer?
ABBOT: money
COSTELLO: money comes with my computer?
ABBOT: yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOT: one copy
COSTELLO: isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: they can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOT: why not, they own it.
Coiler 0
Coiler
That's bloody funny, Harry. Where'd you find that?!
Someone in my family passed it along. One of the best laughs I've had in awhile.
A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious, James the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got measles and my mom said it was contagious"
"Well done James" says the teacher "anyone else?" Katie jumps up and says,"My Grandma says there's a bug about and it's contagious"
"Well done Katie, anymore?"
Little Irish Shawn leaps to his feet and says in his irish accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2" brush and my Dad says it'll take the contagious"
Kevlar Edge 6
Kevlar Edge
Location:On the road
Interests:Building sails in the USA
Q: Whats a reverse exorcism
A: when you pray to the devil to get the priest out of your son.
Elton John & Michael Jackson doing a remake of the" '70's" classic....
" Don't let your son go down on me"........
nicked from eldewhere
> An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar there
> was only one other Person in the bar; a man. The three men kept looking at
> this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared,
wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried
> out, "My God, I know who that man is. It's Jesus!"
> The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting
> alone at a table.
> The Irishman call out, "Hey! you!!! Are you Jesus?" The man looks over at
> him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus" he says.
> The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him "I'd like you to
> give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." So the bartender pours
> Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table Jesus looks over, raises
> his glass, smiles thank you and drinks. The Englishman then calls out,
> "Errr, excuse me Sir, but would you be Jesus?" Jesus smiles and says,
> "Yes, I am Jesus." The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to
> send over a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus, which the bartender
> duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men.
> Then the Australian calls out, "Oi, you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus, or
> what?" Jesus nods and says, "Yes, I am Jesus." The Australian is mighty
> impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of Victoria Bitter for
> Jesus, which he accepts with pleasure. Some time later, after finishing
> the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men. He reaches
> for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
> When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement. "Oh God, the
> arthritis is gone," he says. "The arthritis I've had for years is gone.
> It's a miracle!"
> Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the
> Newcastle Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman's eyes widen in
> shock. "By jove", he exclaims, "The migraine I've had for over 40 years is
> completely gone. It's a Miracle!"
> Jesus then approaches the Australian, who has a terrified look on his
> face. The Aussie whispers ... "F*** off mate, I'm on Workers Comp"
Delete | Reply | Reply to All | Forward | Redirect | Message Source | Save as | Print Back to INBOX
daduck 0
daduck
Father Brown is teaching Sunday School and asks the class if they know what happened on Easter. Little Susie raises her hand and says "Easter is when Santa Clause comes down the chimney and brings us toys". "Well no, you're close, but that's at Chrismas" says Fr. Brown. "Anyone else?" Little Timmy pops out with "It's when we dress in costumes and go door to door and get candy." "Nope, that's Halloween, little Timmy." Father Brown is beginning to get concerned when little Johnny raises his hand. "Yes, little Johnny, can YOU tell us what happened at Easter?" Little Johnny begins "They put Jesus on the cross...and um...he died...so they took him down and put him in the tomb..." At this point Fr. Brown is getting very encouraged, "Yes, little Johnny, what happened next?" "Well" says little Johnny, "Well, they put him in the tomb...and...um...on the third day...on the third day, he comes out of the tomb and...if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter!"
One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.
So she asked him, "What should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
BobM 0
BobM
Just a point of information. This is an old joke that could not get past the censorship imposed on the Smother Brothers show in the late 60's or early 70's.
another theft
A gas station in "Redneck Country" was trying to increase its sales so the
owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."
Soon a "Redneck" pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free
sex. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and, if he
guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, but you were
close. The number was (7).
Sorry, no free sex this time, but maybe next time." Some time thereafter,
the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up,
and again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the
correct number.
The man guessed (2) this time and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3).
You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game
is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."
The buddy replied, "No tain't Billy Ray, it's not rigged - my wife won
twice last week."
Sailing My Cubicle 24
Sailing My Cubicle
Location:Boston, Downeast ME, and Newport, RI
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing. They're both stuck up cunts!
Chuck D. 23
Location:Harrison Twp.
Interests:the 4 f's
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
BalticBandit 7
BalticBandit
That's a miracle, not a joke...
Panda walks into a restaurant and orders A bamboo and bean sprouts sandwich and eats it. when the waiter brings him his bill he pulls out a gun kills the waiter and walks out of the restaurant.
The diner at the table next to the panda grabs the Maitre'de"What's going on?"
The Maitre'de hands him and encyclopedia and says "look up Panda"
Large fuzzy bear like animal. eats bamboo shoots and leaves.
Secretary phones the boss from home to say she can't make it to work today.
The boss says "What's wrong??
She says "I have anal glaucoma"
"what do you mean, Anal Glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming onto work today!"
George Bush jr walks into a bar with a large, warty dried up toad on his head.
Bartender starts to say "what'll it be, but can't help himself and blurts out -
Damn thats about as ugly as I've seen"
The toad replies "fuckin' a. Started out as a wart on my butt and I've been trying to get rid of it since"...
Ya know, I've been accused of being humour impaired, but even I get that joke.
I mean who can take seriously any organization founded by the same old hack that Nixon dragged out to try and debate Kerry in the 70s and managed by an old Reagan Whitehouse aide and personal friend of the Bush family.
That has got to be someones idea of an April Fools prank.
http://billionairesforbush.com/commercials...S_06short-1.mov
http://pages.prodigy.net/aesir/kerrybunnies.wmv
Woolsey 0
Woolsey
Son: "Dad, is it true that in some countries, men do not know their wives until they marry them?"
Father: "No son, that is true in ALL countries."
Five surgeons were debating who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responded, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded."
The third surgeon said, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine. And the head and the ass are interchangeable."
Kerry 0
Got a long ride tomorrow, need some fodder. Here's one:
Zen Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand. "Make me one with everything."
Come on! Give me some good jokes. Three hours on the rail... here's one more. Yep, blonde joke, (it's o.k, cuz I'm told I am one...) So the blonde finishes the puzzle and, and she is so proud of herself. After all, the box said "3-5 years," and it only took her 2...
Seadogg 0
Seadogg
Went on a blind date the other night.
As we were driving along, I asked her what she did for a living.
She told me she was a magician.
"A magician?", I said. "Really? Can you prove it?"
Sure enough, she put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel!


This is an updated version of the 1952-1953 video on the Stover homepage. Music was added to the slide show and the time allotted to most slides has been increased to 10 seconds.
This is the second version of the 1953-1954 slideshow. It is almost twice as long, includes charting from the 1954 Rose Bowl performance, and other images. In addition, the length of time each slide appears has been increased to 10-15 seconds. Music has also been added to the background.
This is the second version of the 1954-1955 slideshow. There are no new images, but music was added to the background.
1955-1956 Slideshow. The Spartan Band made another trip to the Rose Bowl in January!
Stover met Leonard Falcone in 1947 and almost undoubtedly Falcone recruited Stover to start an Ed.D. degree at Michigan State. Stover definitely began summer coursework by 1950, however, may have taken a class in 1949 (both years indicated in scrapbooks). A May 8, 1952 article in the a local Coffeyville newspaper indicates he was giving his final concert with the Coffeyville Junior College Band that evening, along with twelve graduating sophomores, before taking a leave of absence to finish a degree at Michigan State. Stover had recently been named teacher of the year by the Coffeyville Junior Chamber of Commerce.
Stover played trumpet in the marching band during the fall term. During the spring term of 1953, the trumpet professor at Michigan State College resigned abruptly and Stover took over the teaching duties of that position. This led to an appointment that fall as Drill Master of the Marching Band and Assistant Director to Dr. Leonard Falcone, Director of Bands.
In addition to marching band charting, newspaper clippings, photos, slides, textbooks, the archive includes recordings on vinyl disc, audio cassette and reel-to-reel. The music loaded on the slide shows was digitized from these recordings. Also, several charting books from the 1950s have been located and are being digitized. They will be released in a published form at a later date.
Above: Stover with Dr. Leonard Falcone and Drum Major Gene Hickman in 1952.


text:
Gingerbread Man to album autorstwa awangardowej grupy The Residents wydany w 1994 roku. Na "piernikowym ludziku" zespół kontynuował drogę multimediów i fascynacji nową technologią komputerową zapoczątkowaną ich pierwszym CD-ROMem Freak Show. Wiele źródeł podaje, że okładka płyty była pierwszą w historii zespołu stworzoną w sposób komputerowy (chociaż okładka zaprojektowana 10 lat wcześniej do albumu George & James została już stworzona przy użyciu ówczesnych komputerów osobistych), sam album zaś po włożeniu go do napędu cd-rom w komputerze poza odtwarzaniem muzyki wyświetlał także na ekranie monitora animacje związane z treścią albumu. W opakowaniu specjalnego wydania płyty zastosowano technikę velcro aby utrzymać je w jednym kawałku.

Lista utworów
 The Weaver: The fool and the death-maker die alone
 The Dying Oilman: Blinded by the hostages of fortune
 The Confused Transsexual: Stamen and pistillate together again
 The Sold-Out Artist: Black are the legs inside the white sepulchre
 The Ascetic: Shadows doubt the strength of the sun
 The Old Soldier: Safety sells, but war always wins
 The Aging Musician: Narcissus knows no one naked
 The Butcher: The flesh of animals angers anew… and moos
 The Old Woman: Kissless are the isolated, rootless are their tongues
 Ginger's Lament

Linki zewnętrzne
 Okładka

Albumy muzyczne wydane w roku 1994
Albumy The Residents

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


text:
A Young Person's Guide to King Crimson è la prima raccolta del gruppo musicale britannico King Crimson, pubblicata nel 1976 dalla Island Records.

Descrizione
Il doppio album, la cui lista tracce fu compilata da Robert Fripp nel 1975, rappresenta l'ultima uscita negli anni settanta per i King Crimson, sciolti dallo stesso Fripp all'indomani dell'uscita di Red (1974). Il gruppo tornò in attività solo cinque anni più tardi con l'album in studio Discipline (1981).

Oltre ad una selezione di brani tratti da tutti gli album incisi in studio dal gruppo tra il 1969 e il 1974, con la sola esclusione dell'album Lizard, la raccolta include il singolo Cat Food/Groon del 1970 e una versione inedita del brano I Talk to the Wind registrata da Giles, Giles & Fripp insieme a Ian McDonald nel 1968, cioè prima della nascita dei King Crimson, e cantata da Judy Dyble, allora fidanzata di McDonald. I restanti brani sono per buona parte identici alle versioni incluse negli album, con alcune eccezioni: il brano Moonchild da In the Court of the Crimson King compare qui in forma abbreviata, cioè senza la lunga sezione improvvisata della versione originale; Cadence and Cascade da In the Wake of Poseidon è più breve di circa un minuto; infine dal brano Larks' Tongues in Aspic - Part I, che sull'omonimo album dura oltre tredici minuti, è estratta solo la parte conclusiva.

I due dipinti raffigurati sulla copertina sono di Fergus Hall. La prima edizione della raccolta era confezionata in un cofanetto di cartone rigido con allegato un libretto illustrato di 20 pagine, a cura di Robert Fripp, che includeva la lista dei concerti del gruppo ed estratti dal diario del chitarrista.

Promozione
L'uscita dell'album fu promossa dalla pubblicazione di un 7" costituito da due brani tratti dal primo album del gruppo: Epitaph e 21st Century Schizoid Man, quest'ultimo curiosamente escluso dalla raccolta malgrado fosse probabilmente il brano più celebre del gruppo.

Nel 1990 la raccolta è stata pubblicata per la prima volta in formato doppio CD esclusivamente in Giappone per conto della Virgin Records.

Tracce
Lato A

Lato B

Lato C

Lato D

Note

Collegamenti esterni


text:
Supplier News 9 October 2020
Ascott Streamlines Operations with RMS Cloud
Photo: RMS Cloud
The Ascott Limited (Ascott), one of the world's leading lodging owner-operators, has completed its migration to a cloud enterprise property management system (PMS) provided by RMS Cloud (RMS). As part of Ascott's digitalisation efforts, it has moved from separate self-hosted property management systems to a cloud enterprise solution that will enable it to increase operational efficiency and enhance guest experience across its properties globally.
Alfred Ong, Head of Global Operations at The Ascott Limited, says "We have upgraded our property management system to RMS' cloud enterprise solution as part of Ascott's digita l transformation to support our fast-expanding global lodging portfolio. Our record of securing 25 new properties in the first five months of 2020 and the addition of six new lyf coliving properties in July demonstrated that our partners recognise the resilience of our lodging products. The cloud enterprise solution allows us to seamlessly interface with new systems as we scale our business, giving us greater agility. It also consolidates guest and reservation data across our properties into a centralised system. Having a holistic view of our operations allows us to better identify trends and harness the strength of Ascott's global portfolio to deliver greater value to our business partners and customers."
Through RMS' cloud enterprise solution, Ascott is able to integrate other digital solutions into its PMS to enhance guests' experiences. This includes the use of self-check-in kiosks with facial recognition to speed up guests' check-in process as well as an automated workflow management system that enables Ascott team's to efficiently track and manage different aspects of its operations in real-time, from housekeeping to maintenance and guests' service requests.
With RMS' native customer relationship management (CRM), Ascott managers can access guest profiles in real-time, regardless of where they are operating. This enables Ascott to understand guests' preferences and provide them with customised experiences.
RMS Founder and Managing Director, Peter Buttigieg is excited about the potential of this partnership and believes RMS will be a key differentiator in improving Ascott's global operational performance.
"Increasing operational efficiency is an important pillar of RMS. Since February 2019, we have been collaborating with Ascott and look forward to building on that relationship as we work towards creating smart solutions that will help enhance their business and accelerate their growth."
"Our responsive and intuitive software will help a global, multi-brand group like Ascott realise new opportunities with cloud-based technology and guest-centric functionality."
"This partnership also showcases our ability to tailor development to the serviced apartment industry - something that is unique to RMS Cloud."
About The Ascott Limited
The Ascott Limited is a Singapore company that has grown to be one of the leading international lodging owner-operato rs. Ascott's portfolio spans more than 180 cities across over 30 countries in Asia Pacific, Central Asia, Europe, the Middle East, Africa and the USA.
Ascott has over 69,000 operating units and about 48,000 units under development, making a total of about 117,000 units in over 700 properties.
The company's serviced residence and hotel brands include Ascott The Residence, The Crest Collection, Somerset, Quest, Citadines, lyf, Préférence, Vertu, Harris, Citadines Connect, Fox, Yello and POP!.
Ascott, a wholly owned subsidiary of CapitaLand Limited, pioneered Asia Pacific's first international-class serviced residence with the opening of The Ascott Singapore in 1984. Today, the company boasts over 30 years of industry track record and award-winning brands that enjoy recognition worldwide.
Ascott's achievements have been recognised internationally. Recent awards include DestinAsian Readers' Choice Awards 2020 for 'Best Serviced Res idence Brand'; World Travel Awards 2019 for 'Leading Serviced Apartment Brand' in Asia, Europe and the Middle East; Business Traveller Asia-Pacific Awards 2019 for 'Best Serviced Residence Brand'; Business Traveller China Awards 2019 for 'Best Luxury Serviced Residence Brand'; and TTG China Travel Awards 2019 for 'Best Serviced Residence Operator in China'.
For a full list of awards, please visit https://www.the-ascott.com/ascottlimited/awards.html.
RMS Property Management Software (PMS)
At RMS, we provide cloud based hospitality property management software (in Australia and other countries) that is user-friendly and fully customisable to suit the needs of your business. We aim to simplify your day-to-day operations so you can spend more time focusing on your guests.
About RMS
RMS offers cloud-based property management solutions to fit the needs of the global hospitality industry, supporting over 6,000 properties worldwide. With more than 35 years of industry experience, their feature-rich technology is specifically designed to meet the unique needs of hotels, resorts, campgrounds, RV parks, marinas and more. For more information, please visit rmscloud.com.
Mitchell Nunis
Global Marketing Strategist
Supplier NewsProperty Technology
More from RMS Cloud


text:
Lunch: Big Roast Beef, 3-piece hand-breaded chicken tenders (with Kickin' Asian sauce), Dr. Pepper
It's rare to find a Hardee's that still offers the Big Roast Beef. It's even rarer to find one that makes it as good as this Hardee's does.
The "Kickin' Asian" sauce being offered with the chicken tenders is pretty good. Reminds me of the Sweet Chili sauce McDonald's was offering with their McNuggets during the last Olympics. Should've become a permanent dipping option. I haven't bought a single McNugget since it went away.
I saw Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson perform his live stand-up act over the weekend in the major metropolis known as Thackerville, Oklahoma. If you've ever driven I-35 at the Oklahoma-Texas border, you've no doubt seen the WinStar World Casino along the east side of the highway. (If you didn't, I hope you weren't driving.) This wasn't Ferguson's first show here, and he often brings it up on the following broadcast. He has a running joke about how he marvels about the structure like it's all real to the guy driving him and his annoyed driver explaining "it's a facaaaade".
It used to be the complex was essentially a big plastic tent. Really. Like they'd taken some white trash bags and stretched them over a frame. At night, you could see the interior lights glowing on the skin. Which looked kind of cool, actually.
Then they put up walls and apparently a real roof. The facade takes up the west wall (which faces the interstate...the other walls are plain) and has eleven different sections that include replicas of Big Ben, the Palace of Westminster, the Roman Colosseum, castles, some Asian thingie, and more. It's an impressive structure.
Inside is a ridiculously huge casino that is split into sections themed as cities. There's New York, Egypt, Vienna, Cairo, Paris, Beijing, Rome, Madrid, and London. It takes...oh...10-20 minutes to walk end-to-end, I think. Maybe I was dawdling.
There's a number of restaurants, including a 'Toby Keith's I Love this Bar and Grill' outlet. There's a hotel, of course, and a golf course. There's also a nearby pawn shop, but that's not run by WinStar.
Then there's the event hall. It's basically a ballroom with an arena-size stage. They fill it with chairs for concerts and comedy acts, including a portable riser section in the back. I'm thinking they can fit 4,000-5,000 seats in here, but I'm just guessing. (Ferguson's opening act implied 4,300 were in attendance, which likely makes this one of the bigger facilities he performs in.)
It gets used, too. Aside from attracting Ferguson, Stone Temple Pilots and Julio Iglesias are performing there this month, and Jay Leno, Duran Duran, and Harry Connick Jr are just a few of the acts booked in March. Shows are booked almost exclusively on Friday and Saturday nights.
Why are these acts playing out in the middle of nowhere? Well, it's not EXACTLY the middle of nowhere...it's just an hour or so from the north edge of the Dallas/Fort Worth metro. So it helps WinStar draw Texans in for gambling.
It's a great room, tickets are reasonable, parking is free, and you can hang out and party all night after the show if you want. The casino is open 24 hours and the buffet (which appears to be woefully small) is open until 3.
The snow is melting. Temps are inching up.
What's not to love about that either.


text:
Peter Fonda's New Film Nets Measly $30,000 After Actor's Perverted Attack on Barron Trump
By Joe Saunders
Published June 28, 2018 at 5:49am
For Hollywood money men, maybe there really is such a thing as bad publicity.
After aging Hollywood liberal Peter Fonda launched his name back into the headlines last week with a vicious series of Twitter postings implying child rape of 12-year-old Barron Trump and the sexual humiliation of a female Trump administration cabinet member (among other evils), his new film hit movie screens in limited release to five theaters.
Judging by the box office take, keeping it limited might be a good idea.
According to the entertainment website The Wrap, Fonda's movie "Boundaries" generated a measly $30,395 last weekend – and average screen earning of only $6,079.
When Fonda's heinous Twitter attacks became public – he deleted them quickly – Sony Pictures clearly realized it had a potential debacle on its hands.
Having one of a movie's biggest names being associated in the public eye with calling for the abduction of a White House press secretary's children isn't a good start for a word-of-mouth campaign.
The company released a statement condemning Fonda's Twitter posts, but declared that pulling the movie would "unfairly penalize the filmmaker Shana Feste's accomplishment, the many actors, crew members and other creative talent that worked hard on the project."
Well, maybe having a limited-release box office take that amounts to a rounding error in a typical Hollywood star's movie contract might be penalizing all that "creative talent" too.
And commenters on social media had no problem finding the place to put the blame.
After it made headlines in Hollywood for all the wrong reasons, filth monger, 'LaLa Land Liberal' Peter Fonda's movie 'Boundaries" opened to a $29,552. gross…mess with the best and die with the rest @iamfonda!https://t.co/34kLPa4CuB pic.twitter.com/3Ubt4cA1nV
— ♦♦☆ 𝐁𝐮𝐝….♦ (@bud_cann) June 28, 2018
'Boundaries' Has Lukewarm Indie Box Office Launch After Peter Fonda Tweets.
Sony Pictures film made headlines after Fonda's Twitter rant aimed at Melania and Barron Trump
The film has made $30,395 for a per screen average of $6,079.
All Actions Have Consequences!!#MAGA #KAG
— ssd (@Pismo_B) June 27, 2018
HUMILIATION FOR PETER pic.twitter.com/ZSIQsVXZ07
— Brian Becker (@BrianBe94454535) June 28, 2018
and that was money they found in the seats in the theaters.
— Deplorable DGP (@DonniePruetzJr) June 28, 2018
Of course, there's no way to definitely link the dismal turnout to Fonda's Twitter outburst. The movie might just be awful on its own. Its reviews were tepid at best. ("Box office also-ran," The Observer put it.)
Did Fonda's Twitter posts make his new movie bomb?
2% (56 Votes)
But there's no denying that Fonda's obscene outburst put his own name back into the news at a critical time for the release of his new movie. And only the most outrageously on-the-fringe member of #TheResistance could have not been repelled by what he was associated with. (The Marquis de Sade would have approved, though.)
The old adage that "there's no such thing as bad publicity" might have been proven wrong in the era of new media.
And Peter Fonda might have just proved it where it counts for Hollywood money men – at the box office.
Joe Saunders
Story Editor
Joe has spent more than 30 years as a reporter, copy editor and metro desk editor in newsrooms in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Florida. He's been with Liftable Media since 2015.
Joe has spent more than 30 years as a reporter, copy editor and metro editor in newsrooms in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Florida. He's been with Liftable Media since 2015. Largely a product of Catholic schools, who discovered Ayn Rand in college, Joe is a lifelong newspaperman who learned enough about the trade to be skeptical of every word ever written. He was also lucky enough to have a job that didn't need a printing press to do it.
Adam Schiff's Moment in 'Jeopardy!' Spotlight Turns into Embarrassment
Pelosi's Impeachment-Pens Stunt Disgraces Dems and Makes Her 'Somber' Claims Laughable
CNN's Brian Stelter Mocked After Announcing Documentary on 'Disinformation'
Tags: Culture News, Hollywood


text:
2011 MORNING MESSAGES
2011 EVENING MESSAGES
"The Word Most Excellent" (1)
(John 1:14-18)
2011-01-02 am
mp3 Word Document
(John 14:1-18)
2011-01-02 pm
"Memorial Service for Carol Vander Zwaag"
(Joshua 6:1-27)
"Human Worship" (1)
(Romans 1:18-32)
"Memorial Service for Rev. Bob Vander Schaaf"
(John 14:1-7)
"Nurture Through Families"
(Deut. 6:1-9; Acts 2:42-47; Eph. 6:1-4)
"The Sanctity of Marriage"
(Deuteronomy 22:22-30)
"Obedience in Faithfulness"
(Ephesians 2:1-10)
"Purity of Heart"
(Deuteronomy 23:1-14)
"Community with Purpose"
(Hebrews 10:19-39)
"Private Property"
2011-30 pm
"Compassion with Discernment (1)"
(2 Thessalonians 3:6-15)
(2 Corinthians 9:1-15)
"Outreach with Passion (1)"
(Matthew 18:23-35)
"Hearing God's Voice"
"Private Property (2)"
(Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
"A Love Story"
(Hosea 1:1-3:6)
"Stumbling Priests and Prophets"
(Hosea 4:1-19)
"God's Disciplining Love"
"The Pursuit of Happiness"
"Let Us Return to the Lord"
(Hosea 5:15-7:2)
"The Ninth Commandment"
(Deuteronomy 24:8-25:4)
"Sowing the Wind"
"The Ninth Commandment" (2)
"How Can I Give You Up?"
(Hosea 11:1-11)
"The Ninth Commandment (3)
"Why Jesus Wept"
"Remember, Enjoy, Anticipate"
(Luke 22:7-23)
2011-04-21 Maundy Thursday
Word Document
"The Sign of Jonah"
(Hosea 14:1-9)
"The Day of the Lord Begun"
(Joel 1:1-20)
"Thou Shalt Be Fair"
"The Day of Wrath Begun"
"Honesty as Justice"
(Deuteronomy 24:16-25:4)
"The Day of Mercy Begun"
(Joel 2:18-32)
"You Shall Not Covet"
(Deuteronomy 25:5-26:15)
"Was It Worth It?"
Memorial Day Speech
"Rending Our Hearts"
"Coveting and Family Troubles"
"Giving Thanks to God"
(Amos 1:1-2:16)
"Amos: The 'Liberal' Prophet?"
(Amos 5:L18-24)
"Walking With God"
(Amos 3:1-8)
"The Lord of Hosts is His Name"
"Motive Matters"
"The Point of No Return"
(Amos 5:1-27)
"The Beauty of Worship"
"The Pride and the Fall"
"God's Treasured Possession"
"A Severe Mercy"
"Covenant Blessings and Cursings"
"The Divine Revelation"
(Amos 7:10-17)
"Stones and Altar"
"Ripe for Judgment"
"Vows of Membership"
"The Hope of the Ages"
"The Blessed People of God"
"I Will Curse Those Who Curse You"
(Obadiah 1-14)
"The Day of the Lord"
(Obadiah 15-21)
"The More Blessed People of God"
"Compassion for the Perishing"
(Jonah 1:1-17)
"Rescued to Rescue Others"
"Far as the Curse is Found"
"Power Evangelism"
"How Faith Grows"
"God's Great Compassion"
"Why Make Commitments?"
Memorial Service for Mary Scheider
"Prosperity of Soul" (1)
(Micah 1:1-2:13)
"Why Make Commitments?" (2)
(Micah 2:1-5)
"The Bitter Root"
(Micah 2:6-13)
"The Things Revealed"
(Deuteronomy 29:29)
"God's Word of Hope"
(Micah 2:12-13)
"The Things Revealed" (2)
Missionary Conference Rally Message
Elder Mark Casson, Metanoia Ministries
Missionary Conference Worship Message
"The Loss of Sin"
"Christmas is Better Than You Think"
mp3 Part 1 Part 2 Word Document
"God's Surprising Sovereignty"
"Introducing the King"
"The Fruit of Repentance"
"The Messiah's Mission"


The Hotel Lead (also known as Hotel Liaison or Director of Facilities) is responsible for negotiating contracts with hotels or other facilities to host conventions. Typically, these contracts include the number of rooms which will be used by convention attendees, meeting space for the convention, how much catering will be required for the convention, and myriad other details unique to each hotel. During the convention, the Hotel Lead's duty is to be the central point of contact between the hotel and the convention.
Depending on the convention, may involve requests for locking/unlocking doors, water service, room cleaning, and other tasks, up to and including security and safety issues. While most conventions have a separate person to fill this staff position, others, such as Anthrocon, Mephit Furmeet and Califur before 2005, assign large portions of the duties to the convention chairman.


The camera scrolls through the menus ie. the flash menu and shooting mode menu the timer, single shot and multiple shot mode menu. It is also very slow processing images it has a fresh card.
Hello, i had the same problem. To solve this turn off the camera press hard on rotating button and rotate it around while still pressing hard on it. Do it several times. Should cure the problem. Good luck.
I had the same problem too and this answer has fixed it. The camera shop where I bought it clearly didnt know this fix!
Mike Prucha 가/이 대단히 고마워 할 것입니다.


text:
20/20 HONOREES – Gary Reiner
By Christopher Koch
CIO	 Oct 1, 2002 8:00 am PDT
Senior Vice President and CIO
General Electric Co.
Former General Electric CEO Jack Welch may have coined the term digitization and exhorted the company's top managers to replace paper and manual processes with electronics and automation, but Gary Reiner, GE's senior vice president and CIO since 1996, has been the person in charge of supplying those managers with the systems and tools to make that vision a reality.
Welch sold digitization by characterizing it as going where the competition wasn't. Keep spending on technology that enhances productivity during lean times and you will be positioned to crush your rivals when things pick up, he says.
But, of course, things haven't picked up. Welch is gone. And the country has grown cynical about business in general and GE's self-proclaimed position as America's iconic corporation in particular.
With all this as a backdrop, the pressure has increased on the 48-year-old Reiner to demonstrate that digitization works, especially without Welch leading the cheers and catching the flak. But Reiner's numbers?$1.9 billion in savings in 2001, according to the company?prove that he can execute on the grand scale. And the simple fact that the digitization effort continues, despite the drastic cutbacks in IT spending that have hit most big corporations, testifies both to Reiner's determination and to his clout within GE.
Today, Reiner is the man moving GE's culture from its traditional emphasis on people and processes to one that accepts technology as a third ingredient in the mix. "Gary was the one who got people focused and excited about the use of technology," says Marc McCluskey, a research director with Boston-based AMR Research and a former GE manager. "He evangelized that GE's people and execution culture begin to look more toward technology."


Professional carpet cleaning is one of our specialised services available to both private and business customers. Carpets are amongst the largest interior features of most homes and offices, carpets also see a lot of heavy duty, everyday use. As such they require specialised cleaning on a regular basis. Professional cleaning treatments performed at recommended intervals of time will not only ensure a healthier indoor environment, but also keep the carpets looking better and brighter for longer.
Our professional carpet cleaning is perfectly safe and suitable for all types of natural and synthetic fibre carpets. Since we use industry approved carpet cleaning systems and materials, there will be no risk of damage or alteration to the carpet's appearance and comfort properties. The cleaning equipment and materials we apply are effective in lifting and removal of both soiling and staining either chemical or organic. Please be advised that old staining which has been driven deep inside the carpet by erroneous cleaning treatments and prolonged foot traffic may not be removed in full. Carpets suffering extensive structural damage i.e. tearing, un-weaving etc. will not be subject to cleaning as this might further the damage.
Generally, we apply one of two cleaning methods, depending on the type and state of the carpet. The more common method we use is known as steam carpet cleaning or hot water extraction. This is a proven, highly effective cleaning treatment which cleans deep inside the carpet all the way to its base – where many of the hygiene issues really are. The method is perfectly safe as it uses the natural cleaning power of steam. Only in cases where we need to tackle and remove stubborn stains, the cleaners might need to apply a non-toxic solvent to pre-treat the stain for complete removal.
Alternatively, the other cleaning method we use is known as dry carpet cleaning and is considered a relatively newer technique which delivers certain improvements such as reduced drying time. Dry carpet cleaning is performed onsite, the entire cleaning process is safe and efficient for both synthetic and natural fibre carpets. The dry cleaning products we apply are non-toxic and will leave no trace or residue after cleaning.
As expected, all carpet cleaning services are carried out by specially trained and qualified cleaning technicians. The cleaning teams will review the condition of the carpet, and the level of staining/soiling it has sustained in order to choose which is the most suitable and effective method given the circumstances. We recommend subjecting carpets (especially in high traffic areas of the premise) to professional cleaning at least once every six months. For best results, we will need a certain amount of time so please bear with our cleaning techs for the time being and book your carpet cleaning with us for a suitable time and day of the week – we maintain week round availability under flexible hours. Carpet cleaning is available as standalone or in combination with another service we provide, even with catering.


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Study in Iceland
Universities in Iceland
Agricultural University of Iceland
Bifröst University
Holar University College
Iceland Academy of Arts
Reykjavik University
University of Akureyri
The education system
Living in Iceland
Icelandic ID
Learning Icelandic
Travel to Iceland
Studying in Iceland
There are seven universities in the country. Most of the higher education institutions are run by the state or private parties with state support. There are approximately 18,000 students enrolled in the higher education system, of which about 5% are international students.
"I could not help observing with interest the mineralogical curiosities which lay about me as in a vast museum, and I constructed for myself a complete geological account of Iceland, [a] most curious island."
— Jules Verne, A Journey to the Centre of the Earth
There are seven universities in Iceland. Most of the higher education institutions are run by the state or private parties with state support. Currently there are approximately 18000 students enrolled in the higher education system, of which about 5% are international students.
International students either attend Icelandic higher education institutions as exchange students or as degree-seeking students. For exchange options, please consult the international office at your home university, where you can get information on partner universities.
The Icelandic academic year traditonally runs from September to May and is divided into two semesters; autumn and spring. Generally, the autumn semester is from the beginning of September until late December, and the spring semester from the start of January until the end of May, although some disciplines may vary.
Tuition fees at higher educational institutions differ between institution and the amount can depend on whether the institution is state or privately owned. Public universities do not have tuition fees although they do have an annual registration or administration fee which all students must pay. Please find further information about fees on each school's website.
If you are looking for studies in Iceland, The Ploteus Database for Learning Opportunities and Qualifications in Europe offers an extensive list of available studies in Iceland.
This website is run in cooperation between The Icelandic Centre for Research and Promote Iceland


The Assistant Director for Leadership Programs is responsible for providing co-curricular, logistical and administrative support for all Wilks leadership development programs. Additionally, the Assistant Director develops and implements Institute assessment initiatives and leads undergraduate staff hiring, training and professional development. The Assistant Director also fosters close working relationships across the Division of Student Life, with colleagues in academic departments, and with community organizations.
Exercise collaborative leadership within the Institute to ensure the productivity of leadership program project teams and provide curricular expertise to meet desired student leadership learning outcomes.
Coordinate Institute assessment efforts to include development and tracking of key performance indicators, creation of annual assessment plans, tracking and reporting of assessment efforts and leading the development of learning outcomes for office initiatives.
Actively participate in Student Life and University Committees, to include service as an advisor for the Associated Student Government.
Please apply on-line for this position.