text:
There are only a few places on Earth like a public men's room. Its walls enshrine all manner of gastrointestinal pyrotechnics and unnecessary conversation. In fact, I believe that a men's restroom is so far removed from the rest of societal norms that it deserves its own governing set of rules. I have taken the artistic liberty of penning such a list and it appears below.
Rule I- No Bodily Function is rude in a Men's Room.
There is nothing quite like the sanctuary of a men's restroom. The wanton expulsion of gases and bodily fluids creates a unique symphony of digestive dissonance. Many of these sounds, if emitted in other settings, would result in the source being socially ostracized. I think it is best that I illustrate this with two scenarios:
Scenario 1 - Two men are standing in the hall having a conversation. Man A is giving a recap of last night's football game (or Dancing with the Stars episode depending on your employer) when Man B unexpectedly breaks wind. As the sound reverberates down the hall, Man A glares at Man B and says, "Dude. Not Cool." Man B hangs his head in shame and is assigned the nickname "Skid Mark" by his fellow co-workers. There is much sadness.
Scenario 2- The same two men are in the men's room off the same hallway as before. Man A is again giving his recap of the previous night's events when Man B unleashes his flatulence. The two momentarily lock eyes until Man A begins laughing and says, "Dude. Nice one!" Man B shares in this jubilation and is commended by his coworkers for his colonic prowess. There is much rejoicing.
Although the elements of both scenarios are identical, the physical location powerfully alters the light in which those elements are viewed. Man B can easily be transformed from a freak to a folk hero simply by practicing his craft inside the confines of a bathroom. I have literally been walking with someone through the hall having a conversation, and as soon as we enter the restroom they immediately produce a sound akin to a small tire exploding. Had they released said pant-load even one foot outside the restroom, it would have been socially unseemly.
Rule II – There is no talking during number 2
While talking is generally permitted and even encouraged inside of the restroom itself, once any party enters the sacred stall area they are no longer available for verbal interaction of any kind. When a stall patron is making a deposit, it is imperative that every aspect of their mental facilities is at their full disposal. Failure to adhere to this code can lead to serious conditions such as "premature clenching" and "involuntary grunt disorder."
I have observed this violation of protocol firsthand while at my place of employment. The perpetrator was one of the most feared creatures in a number 2 scenario: a shoe watcher. Shoe watchers have the uncanny ability to identify a stall dweller based solely on their footwear and use this superpower to lure them into unwanted conversations. This particular S.W. would enter the men's room and say things like, "Hey Brian, how's it going?" or "Brian, when you finish up I need to ask you something." It got to the point that I would lift my feet up every time the restroom door opened so as not to compromise my identity. I even toyed with the idea of purchasing a slip-on shoe cover (like the type designed to go over a cast) to throw him off the trail.
Rule III – Respect the Urinal
The urinal area is essential governed by the same ideals as an angled parking space; stay between the lines, stare straight ahead, and it is always illegal to back in. It has also become apparent to me that there is a large percentage of the male population that is unable to utilize a urinal without first spitting into it. Demographically speaking this tends to be more widespread amongst senior citizens, but the younger generation is not immune. While the ritual itself is within tolerable boundaries of men's room etiquette, I find it puzzling nonetheless.
I would also like to stress the importance of proper timing in regards to trouser zippers. Many gentlemen disengage their pant fasteners long before they arrive at the urinal which unnecessarily increases the risk of an "early deployment" scenario. If your fly is so complicated that you must begin extrication proceedings prior to arrival, perhaps you should reconsider your choice in pants.
Rule IV – Wash Your Hands
Although there are exceptions to this (hostage situations, Arkansas rest areas after dark) there is generally no excuse for ignoring proper hygiene. It takes all of 25 seconds to moisten your hands with water, apply some soap, and adequately dry them. I may be forced to shake hands with you later, and I do not want the remnants of "Nacho Night" to be a part of that transaction. I have heard of a few people that refuse to participate in this sanitation ritual because they feel that it has been forced upon them by "society" and they feel their adherence to it promotes fear mongering.
As infuriating as conscientious abstention can be, fake hand washing is even worse. I have personally observed guys turn on the sink without actually placing their hands under the water. I can only assume that this is to present the idea of sanitation without any of the follow-through. An obvious parallel would be indiscriminately flushing toilets without actually using them.
The Gift Certificate
If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you are probably aware that I posses a debilitating fear of spas and massages stemming from my very first experience that can be found here:
The Spa Incident
So when I set out a few days ago to purchase a gift certificate for my wife's birthday, I was already apprehensive about stepping through the front door. As I feared, it was awkward…..
I arrived at the establishment around 2:00 that afternoon and as I walked in the front door I was immediately struck by the total lack of any ambient noise. Aside from an almost subliminally quiet piano track, the only auditory stimulus was the rhythmic crinkling of aluminum foil as a woman in the corner was having coloring maintenance done. I sheepishly approached the front counter where I attempted to engage the "relaxation hostess" in conversation. This was made somewhat difficult because she was positioned behind a computer monitor so large it looked like it had been stolen from the wall of a sports bar.
I explained that I needed a gift certificate and she advised me that she would be with me in just a moment. As she fielded a phone call, I glanced around the room and realized that although there were about a half-dozen patrons and employees, no one was saying a word. Most of the women in the chairs were staring glassy-eyed at a muted television above the beautification area as their chosen hairstylist silently orbited their scalps.
The lone customer in the lobby had looked up from her magazine and was staring at me as if she expected me to either produce a handgun and demand cash or issue her a pamphlet on where she would spend eternity and for the record I suspect she would have viewed either act in equally bad taste. As the hostess fielded a second phone call, I could feel myself being unnerved by the eerie silence and I began to imagine that one of the back rooms was soundproofed and probably used for live organ transplants.
Finally, the receptionist hung up the phone and just as I began to re-approach the counter, two women emerged from the spa area in the back. After only a few seconds of their dialogue I immediately regretted my disdain for the eerie silence that had preceded it. The employee was leading the woman to the register to settle the tab and their conversation was progressing something like this:
Customer:"My face feels so fresh and clean."
Employee: "You look radiant!"
Customer: "That olestra-lemonade oil peel really did the trick."
Employee: "You look stunning, absolutely stunning!"
Customer: "I certainly feel relaxed."
Employee: "You look wonderful!"
This exchange continued to escalate until the employee had safely secured her tip and the customer was safely out the door. This entire ordeal only served to prolong my agony as they needed to utilize the very cash register that was required to issue my gift certificate.
At long last it was my turn and we began the arduous process of issuing a gift certificate. At her request, I provided my full name, address, and telephone number along with the full name of the certificate's recipient. She walked me through the packages they offered (all with relaxation inducing names like "Day at the Beach" and "Island Getaway") and I made my selection.
Then, just as I thought I was in the clear, she looked at me and said, "You just wanted this to say 'From Jeremy' right?" I was not sure whether this lady was just oblivious to our entire conversation or my wife had a secret lover named Jeremy, either way I was determined to get my gift certificate and get the hell out of there before someone started eyeing one of my kidneys. I replied that I would feel more comfortable if the gift certificate had my name on it and that Jeremy could pay for his own "Day at the Beach." Although immediately puzzled, she recovered and admitted that she forgot my name was Brian.
Finally, she handed me the gift certificate and I made it safely back to my car. I think that transaction was the least relaxed I had been all week.
Wasps: A Love Story
Ever since I was young, I have had a debilitating fear of wasps. Although I am not dangerously allergic, I did get stung quite a bit growing up. This was mostly due to my overwhelming stupidity more than any type of parental neglect. My combination of curiosity and embarrassingly slow reflexes would inevitably lead to me walking inside the house adorned by swollen welts. I always took some solace in the fact that they would die not long after stinging me, or so I thought at the time, I have since realized that many species can continue stinging multiple times.
I would like to report that as an adult I have relinquished such a silly phobia and no longer find myself sweating when I hear the familiar buzz of a wasp. However, that is not the case at all. In fact, a few weeks ago my wife and I were walking outside when a red wasp flew into our path and I immediately shrieked like an eight year-old girl and hid behind my spouse. She dramatically rolled her eyes and made some comment about "chivalry being dead." I explained to her that I would be more than willing to protect her from falling debris or a meth tweaker with a lead pipe, but as far as wasps were concerned I had had no trepidation using her as a human shield to save my own pasty skin. Some day she will leave me for a real man, but I think that springing for the Netflix subscription bought me some time……
After discussing my views with a coworker, we observed how stinging insects have an uncanny ability to suppress any use of logic. For example:
I am driving down the road on a pleasant spring day when a meandering yellow jacket enters my car through the passenger-side window. The brightly colored insect begins a futile attempt to exit the car by flying toward the windshield, which incidentally brings him close to my face. Sensing danger, I release one hand from the wheel and begin to swat at the bug while bobbing my head wildly in order to avoid a retaliatory sting. This only angers the yellow jacket, causing him to dive bomb my head as I continue down the street at 65MPH. I am now gyrating my entire upper body in an attempt to confuse the wasp, which causes me to drift wildly in and out of my lane. After several minutes of this voluntary road-seizure, the bug finds his way out of the window.
The fascinating thing about this scenario, other than how entertaining it must be for those traveling behind you, is the fact that I am willing to lose control of a two ton automobile traveling 65 miles per hour in order to avoid a sting from a wasp. I am literally risking higher insurance premiums, bodily harm, and possible death just to avoid a minor welt that I will shameless use to evoke sympathy from my wife later on. Logically, I understand that the greatest threat to my long term survival is remaining in control of my car but when faced with this flying insect the size of Jolly Rancher, I drop my biscuits.
And it isn't just driving. I have almost thrown myself from a ladder while cleaning my gutters just because I thought I heard a faint buzzing sound. I realize that wasps, like all insects, have an integral role in the food chain and are often used to control other pests, but I will not hesitate to marinate one in RAID Hornet Killer. In fact, if they sold a formula that caused the wasp to spontaneously burst into flames mid-flight I would buy one for each hand, film the results, and then play that video for the relatives of the wasp so that they could spread the word.
How Not To Kill Your Wife
By just about any standard, Juan-Carlos Cruz is a success story. After landing a job cooking for celebrities at the swanky Hotel Bel Air, he gained notoriety by losing 43 pounds while participating in a televised program on The Discovery Health Channel. This led to several hosting gigs on The Food Network including the series Calorie Commando and Take It Off where he focused on sustaining weight loss through lower calorie intake. He would later release an unnecessarily over-titled eating guide called "The Juan-Carlos Cruz Calorie Countdown Cookbook: A 5-Week Eating Strategy for Sustainable Weight Loss."
All seemed to be going well for Juan, but apparently there was trouble brewing at the homestead between he and his beloved wife Jennifer. Perhaps it was his newfound culinary notoriety that came between them or maybe she had become emotionally distant, but whatever the reason Juan felt the chasm that had appeared between them had only one clear solution: outsourced homicide.
While Juan had tasted success over the past decade, his contract with the Food Network had not been renewed and he found himself unable to allocate the financial resources he would need to hire a reputable hit-man. Never one to give up easily, Juan took a stroll down the Third Street Prominade in Santa Monica, California to locate a more "budget conscious" criminal. After walking for a few hours, Cruz approached a homeless man known as "Little Dave" and offered him compensation in exchange for making sure his wife was introduced to the "big sleep."
This being his first entrepreneurial murder, "Little Dave" felt that it would be prudent to involve his associate "Big Dave" in order to plan the slaying. Once Cruz agreed to make it a duo, "Big Dave" felt that the operation would greatly benefit from the expertise of another homeless man and soon the three men were plotting their next move.
After several brainstorming sessions, "Big Dave" is picked up by the Santa Monica police on a loitering charge. Apparently desperate to beat the loitering rap, "Big Dave" decides to sing like a canary and reveals that his services have been retained by a celebrity chef to kill his wife. In the police interview, "Big Dave," describes the chef as being meticulous but "very cheap."
Taking a cue from "Big Dave," the Santa Monica police launched an undercover investigation of the Calorie Commando and last Thursday he was arrested for solicitation of murder. As of this writing the trial date has not been set.
1. Has divorce become so stigmatized that it is considered more social acceptable just to have your spouse bumped off? What happened to trial separation? All I am saying is just try an annulment, see how it feels, then explore other options…
2. I think the only thing more insulting than finding out your husband wants you dead is realizing that he was not willing to pay full retail price for it. I mean how financially stingy does your offer have to be for a man sleeping on a park bench to call you "cheap?" Did Cruz suggest 2 Cherry Pepsi's and copy of the Grease 2 soundtrack as compensation?
3. Why would anyone assume that a chronically homeless man who identifies himself as "Little Dave" possessed the devious cunning and moral depravity necessary to successfully commit homicide while avoiding detection? Perhaps Mr. Cruz was under the impression that all of California's homeless receive special vocational training in the area of assassination. Also, just because someone is poor does not mean they have no opposition to homicide.
4. I also have to wonder what the punishment is for loitering in Santa Monica is if "Big Dave" felt pressured to cop to a 1st degree murder plot to get himself off the hook. Was it like an episode of Law & Order where Sam Waterston's character leans toward "Big Dave" and his attorney and says, "You're gonna burn for this loitering rap Davie unless you can give me something I can use!"
For his part, Juan has pleaded not guilty to all charges and his lawyer has indicated that it was all a misunderstanding. Hopefully they are cooking up something good….
Photo: First Horizon Pharmaceuticals Drug Rep Cristin Duren competing for Miss America
There is no such thing as a free lunch or an ugly drug rep. I was reminded of this several weeks ago as I Ashley and I sat in a waiting room at a local clinic. Most patients were half-heartedly eyeing archaic issues of Home & Garden or glancing at the Sanford and Sons reruns on TVLand. There was, however, a group that did not fit this mold. I counted three of them (two men and one woman) and heaven help me I couldn't spot a pimple or facial scar between them. The men were dressed in immaculate suits which served to compliment with their chiseled jaw lines and olive-skinned complexions. The lone woman was a tall blond dressed in a rather strategic dress and heels. All were armed with "business cases" and the knowledge that they were the only ones actually getting paid to sit in the waiting room.
After the appointment, I began asking friends if they had ever spotted a physically unattractive drug rep of either gender. I don't mean Quasimodo or Larry Bird unattractive, just someone your spouse wouldn't leave you for immediately. When we all drew a blank, I began wondering if being hot was a pre-requisite for a pharmaceutical sales technician or I was just reading too much into it. Surely it was just a coincidence that all the pharmaceutical sales associates I had ever encountered seemed to have won some sort of genetic lottery. According to a 2005 article by the New York Times, widespread drug rep hotness is no coincidence.
The article highlighted Cassie Napier, a 26 year old drug rep for TAP Pharmaceutical Products whose previous claim to fame was a star cheerleader on the University of Kentucky cheerleading squad. This was no accident as Ms. Napier, like 24 other members of Kentucky's squad, were specifically recruited by drug companies. A school staff member employed within the cheerleading program explained that he frequently gets call from pharmaceutical company recruiters who want the names of recently graduated cheerleaders. "They don't ask what the major is," he admitted.
Cassie's story is not unique; First Horizon Pharmaceuticals employs Cristin Duren, who was given a special leave of absence to compete in the Miss America pageant. A spokesperson for the Washington Redskins admitted that several members of their cheerleading squad were currently employed as drug reps; some other notable pharmaceutical beauties include Mia Heaston (a former Miss Illinois), Cameron Haven (a model for Playboy), and Diana Chiafair (professional swimsuit model and Miss FHM 2007.) The trend has become so blatant that entire businesses have been formed for the singular purpose of matching cheerleaders with pharmaceutical companies looking for "pharma babes."
One of the most successful examples of this is Spirited Sales Leaders, a Memphis-based corporation founded in 2003 that charges a $2,500 fee once you successfully land a pharmaceutical sales job. Owner Gregory C. Webb got the idea for the business after observing "several hundred" former cheerleaders being hired as drug reps. Their site even displays a success wall that lists former clients who have been matched with a pharmaceutical company.
How is this possible you ask? Isn't this a form of discrimination? The answer tends to be a bit more complicated as there are currently no laws that prohibit hiring attractive candidates. As long the company does not refuse to hire based on religion, race, or gender; they are not violating any Federal statutes. In other words, a sign outside of Pfizer might read:
We are an equal opportunity employer (as long as you are smokin')
So what do the drug companies say about selecting the more esthetically pleasing populace to represent their wares? Pharmaceutical giant Bristol-Myers Squibb, in response to the New York Times article, claims that industry hiring practices are based on "personality" and not looks. They claim that the inordinate number of cheerleaders in their ranks is due to their tendency to be "extroverts, good conversationalists, and pleasant to talk to." And men read Playboy for the hard hitting journalism….
Former Prozac rep Shahram Ahari, testified before a senate committee that the drug companies may be interested in cheerleaders and ex-models for more than their "personalities." He revealed that while working for pharmaceutical giant Eli Lily, new employees were trained in the art of fostering "quid pro quo" relationships and exploiting sexual tension with doctors. On the first day of "sales class" Ahari learned that he was the only one in the room (including 21 other trainees and 2 instructors) that had received any college-level science education.
How can they afford to pay $60,000 dollars to former cheerleaders with no science background? The answer is simple; they are worth every penny in the revenue that they generate. In 2007, AstraZeneca fired a sales executive Mike Zubillaga after his interview in an internal company newsletter went public. In the interview, Mr. Zubillaga offered the following advice to his sales reps when they visited a doctor:
"There is a big bucket of money sitting in every office. Every time you go in, you reach your hand in the bucket and grab a handful. The more times you are in, the more money goes in your pocket. Every time you make a call, you are looking to make more money."
The remarks became especially infuriating when it was revealed that Zubillaga and his sales staff dealt exclusively with cancer medication. Once an employee posted the interview on the Internet, AstraZeneca quickly fired the executive because his viewpoint "violates a core value of serving patients." The company did not explain why such offensive sales advice would be published and distributed to their employees in the first place as part of the official company newsletter.
This mindset is not unique to AstraZeneca, former Parke-Davis pharmaceutical rep David Franklin sued his former employer for forcing him to market drugs off-label (other than their approved uses) and making false claims. He cited a senior sales executive at the company who told him:
"I want you out there every day selling Neurotonin. Neurotonin is more profitable than Accupril, so we need to focus on Neurotonin. Pain management, now that's money…. I don't want to see a single patient coming off Neurotonin before they've been up to at least 4,800 milligrams a day. I don't want to hear that safety crap, either."
The problem is that Neurotonin was only approved for use in seizure patients at the time but the sales staff was pushing doctors to prescribe it for everything from migraines to bi-polar disorder. In 2004, the company was ordered to pay $430 million in fines for their marketing practices of the drug, which many felt was an ineffective slap on the wrist considering the company's proceeds from the medication exceeded $3 billion.
How do such practices go unregulated? Why is the Neurotonin case the exception rather than the rule? Well, when you make a lot of money you can afford to spend a lot of money. In a recent report from the Center for Responsive Politics, it was revealed that pharmaceutical companies spent over $900 million on government lobbying between 1998 and 2005. This was more than any other industry in the same time period, and almost 90 million of that went directly to federal candidates and committee members and nearly three-fourths of the cash went to Republican candidates.
That is not to say Republicans are the only ones taking incentives, in the 2004 presidential race the pharmaceutical companies donated significant amounts to both Bush and Kerry's campaigns and I would imagine that any congressional donations tend to lean toward the current majority. In an interview with The Washington Post, Republican Senator Charles Grassley admitted, "You can hardly swing a cat by the tail in Washington without hitting a pharmaceutical lobbyist." Although the comment was meant in jest, it reveals a simple truth: there are currently 2 drug lobbyists for every member of Congress.
So is there any hope for oversight and responsible prescription marketing practices? In 2001 the American Medical Association launched a campaign to educate doctors about the ethical perils of pharmaceutical gifts. The program was funded by pharmaceutical companies.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2006/04/the-drug-pushers/4714/1/?
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/28/business/28cheer.html?_r=1
The Milkshake Quest
It has become a running joke between my wife and I, that anytime I wish to purchase a milkshake at a McDonald's restaurant, the magical device that dispenses said beverage is broken. Apparently the mass produced apparatus that creates McDonald's treats is so complex that the slightest deviation in its mechanism causes catastrophic dessert failure. In my experience, only the Hubble telescope requires more upkeep to perform its intended function. When they speak of it being "down for maintenance" the staff uses such a serious tone that you would think the night shift was back there dismantling the core of a nuclear submarine.
So last Saturday night when we decided to grab an order of McNuggets, I playfully ordered a small chocolate milkshake. I fully expected the overly-rehearsed "Sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is out of order," so you can imagine my surprise when the disembodied voice simply replied "Will that be all?" My wife and I exchanged curious glances as the speaker casually announced our total and told us to proceed to the first window.
"It's a miracle," Ashley said "Your streak is finally broken!" I was still guarded though, as I fully expected the girl at the first window to inform me that they had forgotten to tell us that the ice cream machine was broken after all. However, our visit to the initial window was uneventful and we were instructed to proceed to the next window where our culinary delights would be dispensed.
Suddenly, despite my best efforts to suppress it, I began to succumb to the hope that this would indeed be my night, the night that I had finally bested the McDonald's ice cream machine. Rolling to a stop next to the final window, the employee quickly handed us the paper bag that undoubtedly contained the McNuggets and French fries. Then, just as she turned to acquire what I could only assume was my beloved McShake, a man appeared wearing a button-up shirt and a headset. Through past experience I knew that only one person was issued such dapper attire: the manager.
I could feel fear rising in my throat as he and the employee began conversing just out of earshot. Ashley and I strained to hear what they were saying, but just as I thought we were making headway the employee reached back with her free hand and slid the window closed. Now we had been reduced to decoding the manger's pantomimes in an attempt to understand this puzzling turn of events. Not ready to give up hope, I convinced myself that the manager simply wanted to make sure that the employee understood what a big moment this was for me. Perhaps the staff was arranging some sort of acapella tribute to my past struggles. I debated on whether or not to get my parents on speakerphone…..
After almost two full minutes of watching the pair through the glass, the manager slid open the window and calmly explained that the ice cream machine had broken immediately after I placed my order. He quickly elaborated that an employee had "pressed the wrong button" thus rendering the entire device inoperable for the remainder of the evening. I was so full of questions that I was momentarily speechless. What button did the employee push? Furthermore, why would you equip any device with a button that immediately prevents it from doing the only thing it was created for? Am I the victim of some sort of cosmic joke?
The manager instructed us to move up the front rail and wait so that he could issue a refund for the milkshake and bring it to us. This was just great. Not only will I be denied my chocolate shake, now we are being put in drive-thru time-out, all because Jim-Bob got confused and pressed the "Initiate Total Dairy Failure" button on the machine. I swore that if I saw the car behind me get a milkshake I was going to set the indoor playland on fire before we squealed away.
After several minutes the manager emerged from the side exit and handed me my $3 back. He was polite and apologetic, but I didn't put much effort into hiding my frustration. So once again I left a McDonald's drive thru with nothing but a super-sized order of disappointment.
Terrible Song Lyrics Part 2
Ke$ha – Tik Tok
Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here
And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
Anytime an artist replaces a consonant in their name with the $ symbol the listener can be assured of a musical and lyrical treat, and Ke$ha does not disappoint. Tik Tok is the leadoff single from her 2010 release Animal which contains such musical milestones as "Party at a Rich Dude's House" and "Blah Blah Blah." In Tik Tok, Ke$ha expresses both her fondness of alcohol and lack of disposable income, (events that are often mutually inclusive) while revealing that her "swagger" encourages men to congregate around her current location.
Even more telling is that the party's screening process is based on Mick Jagger's physical characteristics which, at age 67, could be described as emaciated geriatric post-heroin sheik. The other possibility is she couldn't locate another word that rhymed with swagger. Either way, the chorus reminds us that despite the good times to be had one must remain vigilant and often employ physical violence to protect one's "junk." I couldn't agree more…
Brad Paisley – Ticks
Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.
Hey that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park.
'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.
"Ticks" was the leadoff single for Brad Paisley's fifth studio effort aptly titled Fifth Gear. The tune follows the adventures of a young man seeking the affections of an unnamed barfly. Enamored by the woman's tattoo and rather mobile pant-line, he decides that his advances would be more warmly accepted in isolation. Once their nature walk is completed, he coyly plans to check her for "forest leeches."
While I never advocate the use of the word "peekaboo" in a song, I will admit that exploiting a date's fear of Lyme disease as an excuse for uninvited physical contact is deviously brilliant. Whether or not Paisley was inspired by the 1993 horror film of the same name remains to be seen, but as a parasitic-themed song about first dates, it's in a class all by itself.
Nick Lachey – Shut Up
When we touch, when we kiss,
When we shut up
Don't say anything at all
You throw a glass straight at my head
Swear up and down you want me dead
I guess love is in the air tonight
You bite my neck, I pull your hair
Next thing we know, no underwear
Now why can't we just
Turn out the light, forget how to fight
Cuz we got tonight
"Shut Up" was the first single off Lachey's debut solo album entitled, well, Soul-O. If you thought the future ex-Mr. Jessica Simpson's clever use of wordplay ended with the title, you are in for a real treat once you get to this cut. In it, he narrates a scenario that is likely to spawn a domestic assault charge, but for now he is just focused on "tonight." Apparently Mr. Lachey considers the threat of homicide an aphrodisiac, and before you know it the couple finds themselves sans undergarments.
Undoubtedly Nick wished to tap into the smoldering sensuality that defined musical icons like Barry White and Sade, but from the performance I am not even convinced that he likes this song. The public was unconvinced as well since the album peaked at #51 on the charts and sold less than 175,000 copies. To place that in the proper perspective, when fellow TV star Bruce Willis dropped his first album in 1987 he made it all the way to #14. Shut up indeed.
Black Eyed Peas – Latin Girls
I like Latin them Latin women I do
And they love me cause I'm that man
With cocoa nuts and chocolate skin
I'm that mocha masculine
Feminines that are Latin call ya friends
And call your cousins cause I know you got dozens of them
Yo quiero and I'm sincero
Cuban girls, Cuban girls, I like em'
Puerto Rican girls, Puerto Rican girls, yo quiero
Mexican girls, Mexican girls, yo quiero
Spanish girls, Spanish girls, I like em'
Girls, Girls, Latin girls
Latin girls, Latin girls
Latin girls, What's happenin' girls?
I imagine that this song is more effective at repelling Latin women than the U.S. Border Patrol, and does so at a fraction of the cost. Not only is the Latino stereotyping offensive, such as, gold digging, inordinately large families, and use of the phrase "You a bronze skin momma," but they manage to insert just enough broken Spanish to make the listener feel like they are at a rave sponsored by Rosetta Stone.
And while I am on the subject of offensive, "cocoa nuts" sounds like a children's breakfast cereal created by a demented urologist and "mocha masculine" sounds like a Starbucks drink served at bachelorette parties. The apex of this monstrosity has to be the line "Yo quiero and I'm sincero." I am not expecting Faust, but is a complete sentence too much to ask for?
Joey McIntyre – National Anthem of Love
This is the national anthem of love
Stepped into the car five words and you're wrong
She wants to go home
Can't remember a word you said all you know is
you're dead
If you don't straighten things out
And you know you're dead if you don't
So baby if you wanna get some
This is the superbowl of love
You wanna play but it's just too rough and you
wanna go home
Just remember it's only a game
After the dissolution of New Kids on the Block (NKOTB on tha' streetz) in 1995, the group's youngest member released a string of solo albums. His 2001 release, entitled Meet Joe Mac, contained the epic ballad "National Anthem of Love." The song follows what we assume to be a young couple on a date when the gentleman protagonist suddenly says something so hurtful and offensive that his companion immediately demands that she be taken home. Like all great storytellers, Mr. McIntyre leaves those "five words" up to our imagination. Let's speculate, shall we?
· Blood doesn't wash out easily.
· Where is your jewelry kept?
· I lost my Nader bumpersticker.
· Yo quiero and I'm sincero.
· Prison taught me so much.
· Please join a Methodist committee.
· Like my Tiger Woods cologne?
· I remember you being hotter.
· Are your blinds always closed?
· Ever had a McRib combo?
· Gonorrhea just keeps coming back.
· I own Joey McIntyre's album.
The Gay Dog
The Feminine Mystique


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Bengals vs. Browns: Getting to Know the Enemy With Cincy Jungle
Scott Bantel from Cincy Jungle exchanged five questions with us, discussing how Bengals fans have reacted to Cleveland's 5-3 start, whether Andy Dalton has struggled without Jay Gruden, and more.
By Joe Ginley Nov 5, 2014, 8:50am EST
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This Sunday, the Cleveland Browns take on the Cincinnati Bengals. To help preview this week's game, I reached out to Scott Bantel from Cincy Jungle and exchanged five questions with him. Enjoy!
Joe: "The Browns stand at 5-3 through eight games for the first time since 2007. Are Bengals fans surprised at their rivals' success?"
Scott: "I think Bengals fans – along with many others – are surprised to see the Browns at 5-3 at the mid-way point. However, though many Bengals fans may be reluctant to admit, the Browns have a lot of talent and oh by the way, will be adding the 2013 leading receiver in just a few weeks. This is a Browns team that can play with (and beat) good NFL teams and they can no longer be taken lightly. While I believe the playoffs would still be a stretch for the Browns in 2014, I don't think it is outlandish."
Joe: "Since the beginning of the Andy Dalton era in 2011, the Bengals have struggled in primetime games, with a 2-5 record in such games. The Bengals struggled heavily in a Sunday night loss to the Patriots on October 5, 43-17. Will the Bengals enter this game with something to prove?"
Scott: "Andy Dalton and Marvin Lewis will downplay the Bengals Primetime struggles all week and will claim it is media driven, but you are 100% correct- under Marvin Lewis, the Bengals have a history of struggling in the big games – not just with Dalton. The Dalton aspect is tough to get a handle on because the guy has a record of 35-20-2 (.636) but his record in primetime is terrible.
Dalton has played poorly in some of those games, but he has also played well in some of the games (i.e. the Patriots game). In fact, the fans that sit on the sideline and refuse to buy into the Bengals, point to the Bengals primetime and playoff struggles - Dalton in particular. While I think the Bengals will want to prove their primetime struggles are an anomaly, I think they are going to be more focused on making sure the Browns don't come in to Paul Brown Stadium and walk out with first place – a distinct possibility the way this Bengals team has played the last few weeks."
Joe: "Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton has experienced an up and down season. In his last four games, Dalton has more interceptions (5) than touchdowns (4). Which Andy Dalton will we see on Thursday?"
Scott: "Dalton's numbers this year are deceiving and are a result of two things: 1) scheme and 2) injuries. The Bengals new offensive coordinator, Hue Jackson, runs the ball at a much higher rate than Jay Gruden did in his wide open offense. While Dalton's touchdown numbers are down, that is in large part due to the Bengals leading the NFL with 12 rushing touchdowns. Under Gruden, the Bengals threw down by the goal line – not the case under Hue Jackson. Second, is injuries.
Dalton has been without his top three receiving options for almost the entire season. AJ Green has been bothered all year by a big toe injury that has caused him to miss four of the Bengals eight games. The Bengals number two wide receiver, Marvin Jones, was placed on IR without playing a single down this season, and the Bengals pass catching tight end, Tyler Eifert, has played five total minutes in 2014. In fact, I would say Dalton is actually having his best and most consistent year as a pro. While he does have 5 interceptions and only 4 touchdowns over his last four games, Dalton does have 2 rushing touchdowns and at least 3 of those interceptions were not Dalton's fault or were tip balls.
Dalton's only poor game in 2014 has been the Indianapolis game where he was plagued by drops and terrible offensive line play. Because of the new offensive philosophy, Dalton is on pace for a career low in interceptions (12), turnovers (14) and attempts (496) all while on pace for career highs in completion percentage (64.9%), YPA (7.56) and QBR (57.3). When you consider the injuries he has had to overcome, those numbers become even more impressive, and I would expect to see a solid performance from Dalton on Thursday night."
Joe: "Jeremy Hill exploded on Sunday, rushing 24 times for 154 yards and two touchdowns. The rookie has some serious explosiveness and speed. How much damage will he do to a struggling Browns rush defense?"
Scott: "Sunday was the first time the Bengals gave Hill a full load and he showed exactly why they picked him in the 2nd round of the 2014 draft. The Bengals run the ball 46.39% of the time, 7th in the NFL, and average 28.9 runs per game (t-10th). With Giovani Bernard out again on Thursday and the Browns featuring the 30th ranked run defense (tied with the Bengals), the Browns will see a lot of the big rookie running back. Unless the Browns get up big, Hill will likely get 30 touches on Thursday and that could spell trouble for the Browns rushing defense. The Browns give up 4.8 YPA and Hill averages 4.7 YPA and has 5 touchdowns on just 74 carries."
Joe: "The heart of the Bengals defense, Vontaze Burfict, will not be playing on Thursday. How will this affect Cincinnati's defense against a Browns offense that is dependent on establishing a running game?"
Scott: "Burfict is the heart and soul of this defense. Not only does he call the plays and get the defense lined up, he is also the emotional leader and his absence almost all year is one of the main reasons the Bengals defense – particularly their run defense – has struggled. Along with Burfict, the Bengals will also be without Rey Maualuga for the fourth straight game (hamstring) and Leon Hall (concussion). If the Browns running game is going to get healthy, this would be a likely game for them to do so."
Thanks again to Scott for taking the time to answer my questions.
Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals - Week 10 Coverage
Pokorny's Game Review: Browns vs. Bengals
Browns vs. Bengals: 5 Questions w/ the Enemy

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Enquiry from Online Galleries regarding "Georgian Meat Dome in Old Sheffield Plate by Matthew Boulton"
An antique dish cover of curved rectangular form in Old Sheffield plate. Good size. Handsome plain design with a gadroon ring border and decorative handle. Hand engraved to both sides is a lion crest on a chequered background within a decorative cartouche – all within an inset silver shield. Lovely crisp borders. Height 25 cms. Length 40 cms. Width 31 cms. Marked inside the handle with the double sun mark for Matthew Boulton, probably the most well known of all Old Sheffield plate makers. Circa 1820.
This magnificent antique dish cover is in excellent condition with no damage or restoration. The hand engraved crests are sharp. There is no wear to the plate. There's one minor dent and a little light scratching in some places.


If you thought launching your app in the app store is the last step of mobile app development process, you are strongly mistaken. Whether you are a freelance developer or a mobile app development company, it is important to consider app promotion and upgrades as an intrinsic part of the entire app development, rather than a standalone part. App promotion, app marketing and monetization come across as the most challenging part for agencies offers mobile app development services.
If you have built a mobile app, you have most likely spent a great deal of energy trying to figure out how to drive revenue. Clarity of purpose and monetization model is a must. This will help you chart out a strategy to interact with customer from day one.
This statistic presents a forecast for the number of mobile app downloads worldwide in 2016, 2017 and 2021, sorted by region. In 2021, consumers in the Americas are projected to download 74.7 billion mobile apps to their mobile devices. As the number of apps continues to grow, the success of an app's appeal can be directly attributed to its growing user base.
Here are few monetization models that will allow you to have a greater chance at making more revenue while reaching out to users.
In 2017, 49 percent of mobile app professionals implemented in-app advertising for non-gaming apps. Overall, 79 percent of gaming apps utilized in-app purchases of items.
One of the most popular monetization options for games and apps is free-to-download mobile apps. A freemium app or game is offered as a free to download mobile app to the user. In most cases, it offers limited features, functionality content or options. In order to access premium version, users' need to buy additional features. The main reason behind the success of this version of app is users can quickly download apps for free instead of paying upfront fees.
Users can access a premium version or additional content and features through in-app purchase. This route has also been used for subscribing for monthly content updates. The free app or game with an in-app purchase removes the price point as a barrier for people to download an app and gives the developer the opportunity to prove the value of their products.
In this type of monetization model, users need to pay one time download charges. There are no additional charges on future updates or additional features. Users pay just once to download the app. Updates and feature additions are expected to be free. In such cases, paid apps need to offer significant value at the first go, followed by additions, enhancements, design and usability changes. The main category of apps falling in this section happens to be utility apps. However, in such type of monetization app maker needs to look for new users every time to increase the revenue flow.
This is a combination of monetization where users have to download app at fixed rates and pay additional amount to use advance features. While many experts argue that it is unfair to download an app and charge to avail more features. It's tricky for you to build on this, but if done strategically with a value proposition, it can certainly work and grow in numbers.
While ad-based monetization and in-app purchase will continue to contribute to overall returns, several key players in the app ecosystem have grown to understand that in order to develop a new revenue stream and a higher level of experience, a new method has to be conceived. Welcome to the era of Service-based Monetization!
For instance, Facebook implemented Order Food suggestions in Facebook Messenger. This would allow a user to chat with another user about setting up dinner/lunch meeting, messenger would offer the users the opportunity to order food, through delivery companies partnering with FB, or to reserve a restaurant using a third party vendor.
It is important to find out how your app can benefit your users and make their lives easier.
Before choosing a monetization strategy, understand who your target audience really is. It is equally important to analyze your users' preferences and demographics first before narrowing down on the monetization. Start analyzing data and aligning your efforts to match with user behavior.
Does your app solve a pain-point of a specific set of users? Try to provide a lot of value to a specific set of users which typically results in profitability. This offers the opportunity to create an experience that is tailored to the needs of a specific user group.
Once you understand the value that your app provides your users, you can plan your mobile app monetization strategy around that. The more value you're providing, the more your users will show the willingness to pay.
A successful monetization is based on several trial and error basis. It is best to understand your business requirements and customize until you find the one that will work the best for you.
Looking to gain more profit from your mobile app?


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Singapore / Sweden
The Swedish Trade Council Starts New Office in Singapore
January 27, 2010 January 27, 2010 - by Sarah Mia Haagerup - Leave a Comment
The Swedish Ambassador to Singapore and the Singaporean Ambassador to Sweden were both present at the inauguration event on the 12th of December along with prominent business leaders in the local Swedish community.
The ceremony started off with remarks from the President of the Swedish Trade Council, the Swedish Ambassador to Singapore and the President of Swedish Export Credit Corporation (SEK).
After cutting the ribbon the guests networked and later carried on to the ambassador's residence for a reception and Lucia-show.
Consultant Knut Ngo, who is responsible for the office in Singapore, was fully satisfied with the event.
"The opening ceremony was very successful with good support from the local Swedish business community", he says.
The Swedish Trade Council in Singapore will from their newly opened office continue working closely with the Swedish Embassy, The Swedish Business Association of Singapore and the Swedish industry to help Swedish companies with establishment in Singapore and to help them grow and expand further in the region.
The cooperation has already resulted in successful promotional activities, not only for Swedish businesses in the country, but also for Swedish delegates who travel to Singapore for specific events such as seminars and exhibitions.
The Singaporean market was previously covered by the Swedish Trade Council's office in Kuala Lumpur but became present at the Swedish Embassy in Singapore in January 2008.
The trade council's offices in Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia and the Philippines together form the Swedish Trade Council of Southeast Asia. The offices are also responsible for the markets in Indonesia and Cambodia.
Previous Article Swede Arrived Singapore on Bicycle
Next Article Hanoi's First Finnish Settler
About Sarah Mia Haagerup
View all posts by Sarah Mia Haagerup →


Discovery of QTL Alleles for Grain Shape in the Japan-MAGIC Rice Population Using Haplotype Information.
Haplotype-based allele mining in the Japan-MAGIC rice population.
Acetate-mediated novel survival strategy against drought in plants.
Kim JM, To TK, Matsui A, Tanoi K, Kobayashi NI, Matsuda F, Habu Y, Ogawa D, Sakamoto T, Matsunaga S, Bashir K, Rasheed S, Ando M, Takeda H, Kawaura K, Kusano M, Fukushima A, Endo TA, Kuromori T, Ishida J, Morosawa T, Tanaka M, Torii C, Takebayashi Y, Sakakibara H, Ogihara Y, Saito K, Shinozaki K, Devoto A, Seki M.
Direct quantitative evaluation of disease symptoms on living plant leaves growing under natural light.
Matsunaga, T. M., Ogawa, D., Taguchi-Shiobara, F., Ishimoto, M., Matsunaga, S. and Habu Y.


Web Development doesn't just mean crating engaging public sites. It encompasses all interactive online solutions including mobile and custom applications. We've been delivering customized online and cloud-based solutions since our inception and invite you to challenge us to solve problems no one else seems able to tackle.
Why? Our team is one of the most technologically advanced you will find, far beyond what is normally associated with a marketing agency. We welcome the tough assignments, the challenging integrations, the difficult to solve issues you need to address to further your business. Bring them to our attention, and let us show you what we can do.
A lot of firms can create a website for you, often one made from ready-made templates and off-the-shelf tools. That's thinking small. Finding ways the web can fuel greater effectiveness and efficiency in your business as whole returns greater ROI beyond your marketing investments.
The key to the real success of any web development is how it is measurably delivering value to your organization overall. Is it engaging new prospects to form an affinity for the brand? Is it delivering all the needed content to all targeted audiences, when, where, and how they desire it? Is it effectively managing all aspects of e-commerce at every stage of the customer lifecycle? Is it automating key processes that improve operational effectiveness? Is it helping meet real needs of the business that simply could not be delivered via a better method? Every client's requirements are different, and asking all the right questions up front leads to a better plan for your web presence, whether it is a brand new one or the latest evolution of your online brand. Helping organize your internal web tools and your external site as the single source of truth for your brand can make a huge difference, and we show you how to do that.
Our team has been building websites for almost 25 years - how many of our competitors can say that? We have built every type of site, from pure marketing and 'brochureware' sites to large e-commerce and data-driven content experiences, with rich media and animation when it helped engage audiences better. Every site we build is to industry best practices, and now that includes being fully scalable and responsive to every type and size of device a visitor may have.
Need administrative tools to manage your site on your own, without having to have a programmer on staff? We've implemented scores of those as well, using industry standard tools, CMS packages, or custom-built interfaces. Need embedded product or service demos? We've created a ton of those over the years as well. Need to manage all of your marketing assets more efficiently? We can help you.
Our experience spans multiple industries and market segments, and every project we deliver adds to the knowledge we apply to your needs. We have likely experienced your challenges before, and can address them efficiently and effectively. We can also develop the right web strategy with you, including how best to drive traffic your way, or we can execute to your plans as an implementation partner. We're very flexible in this regard, and will still bring you fresh ideas that add value.
To learn more, please contact us at info@543group.com or call (317) 579.9670.


Are you looking to learn about photography in Lincoln CA? Whether you are a professional, beginner, or hobbyist, the most effective approach to improving your photography skills is through hands-on training with professional instructors.
There are many accredited photography schools in California. Photography classes teach subjects such as lighting, exposure and composition, posing and unposing, portrait capture, and other photography fundamentals. Maturing into an accomplished photographer can result in a lifelong hobby or successful professional career.


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Church of St. Emeric was a Roman Catholic parish church in the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York, located at Avenue D, between 12th Street and 13th Street, Manhattan, New York City. The address is 740 East 13th Street. When restoration was completed on St. Brigid's on Avenue B in 2013, the Church of St. Emeric was closed and the parishes merged to form the parish of St. Brigid-St. Emeric.

History
The parish was established in 1949. The Rev. V. J. Brosman had a brick church built in 1949 to designs by Voorhees, Walker, Foley & Smith of 101 Park Ave. for $300,000. The cornerstone was laid in 1950. The church is now covered in ivy. A two-storey school building was erected in 1952 to designs by the same architects for $240,000.

References

Roman Catholic churches completed in 1950
20th-century Roman Catholic church buildings in the United States
Christian organizations established in 1949
Roman Catholic churches in Manhattan
Modernist architecture in New York City
East Village, Manhattan
1949 establishments in New York City

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


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Entertainment*
Ha... ha?
Marilyn Manson makes 3 gay jokes in 1 minute, and they're all pretty lame
By David Grant September 26, 2017 at 3:09pm · 8 comments
Who knew Marilyn Manson liked making gay jokes so much?
Unfortunately, his aren't all that funny. And everybody knows that when a gay joke isn't funny, it's pretty cringe-worthy.
Well, everyone besides Megyn Kelly, who also made a couple of her own today.
Manson sat down for an interview with NME, where he was asked for his reactions to various photos — a sort of pop culture Rorschach test.
The first three topics he was asked to comment on were: Johnny Depp, Kiss, Charlie Hunnam.
Related: Yep, that's Marilyn Manson in Elton John's new music video
And Manson offered some variation of a gay joke for: Johnny Depp, Kiss, Charlie Hunnam.
On Kiss, Manson said the photo resembled "four gay dudes in Halloween costumes."
Meanwhile, he and Depp are "best friends" who just "want to hold each other," and Charlie Hunnam has held Manson's "Excalibur" in his hands (wink wink).
Watch below to see all three jokes (and more!) land dead on arrival:
Entertainment Marilyn Manson
View Comments8
Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #entertainment #marilynmanson stories and more
OMG! He is so HAWT!!! LOL
September 26, 2017 at 4:09pm
Marilyn Manson kinda' IS a gay joke.
michel_banen
…….and so said the Alice Cooper wannabe who in the past stuck his microphone up his ass [literally], rubbed his dick on a security guy's head and had a gender neutral look on "Mechanical Animals".
So the TRUE gay joke is on him 🙂
ZoeyPosthuman
There is literally video of Twiggy Ramirez, his male bassist, sucking his dick on stage, and numerous videos of John 5, his male former guitarist, giving him a rimjob on stage and even commenting on the taste (not bad, apparently). You're framing this like it's a cishet making gay jokes. It REALLY isn't. Dude's been crapping on the gender binary, heterosexual orthodoxy and bigots in general for decades. He's a huge fan of Kiss, he just likes joking about anything and anyone he loves. There is literally photos of him as a child dressed up as Peter Criss. Gahh, gain some context.
September 26, 2017 at 10:09pm
Donston
As many should know, being "gay friendly" or engaging in gay acts doesn't make someone progressive-minded or not bigoted. And even within context this was cheesy, and like most things that MM has said and done publicly is driven by self-interest and obsession with wanting to shock.
September 27, 2017 at 2:09am
Dude, you clearly aren't very aware of his personality. He's not driven by self-interested and definitely not trying to shock. This is the man who cuddles a pink stuffed unicorn during an entire interview (one gifted to him by the interviewer), used to regularly have to partake in addict-wrangling during interviews because Twiggy was too high to function, did a photoshoot with his dad wearing his makeup, regularly took his dad on tour with him (he's passed away now), literally was being a Cat Parent before cat parenting was a meme, literally painted paintings of his pets, and sleeps in underwear because he's scared that if a fire starts he'd have to flee naked. The shocking stuff is either just him honestly being himself or people blowing things out of proportion, because he's an adorable dork. And cheesy? No duh. He's cheesy as heck. It's everyone else that keeps expecting him to take himself seriously when really he's just a giant dork with a lot of money. He donates his used clothes to charity to be auctioned off, had a Make-A-Wish kid doing backing vocals on one of his albums, made Bill O'Reilly look like an idiot on The O'Reilly Factor and is generally just a big softy. He also predicted the Trump presidency's rise on a tide of idiots back in 2000, which deserves some credit. He's progressive-minded and not bigoted, he's just a big dork and Queerty wanted some clickbait.
DCguy
There is one truly amazing thing about Manson.
Howard Stern at this point can interview an empty soda can and make it an interesting interview. He has taken people that didn't seem like they'd be good interviews, like Sia, Rob Schneider, somebody who owns a food truck, etc… and made them amazing interviews.
Yet….Manson was on just the other day, and you could tell Stern was struggling, the interview was boring, even one of the best interviewers in the business, on uncensored satellite radio couldn't make this guy interesting. That is saying something.
Marilyn Manson is still a thing ? I thought his career was over years ago


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The Saint-Petersburg
Lapel pins and badges
Miniature copies of the State awards
Marks of assay and brand marks
Bullions and bonds
Numismatic shop
Finished orders
Order and shipment conditions
Coins, medals and
The Mint today
Production capacities
The international jury highly appreciated the skill of masters of the Mints of Goznak22 сентября 2014 года
The international jury highly appreciated the skill of masters of the Mints of Goznak
A festive ceremony of awarding the winners of the Eighth Commemorative Coin Competition "Coin Constellation-2014" took place on September 18 in Moscow, within the framework of the Fifth International Coin Conference and Exhibition COINS-2014. It is the only international competition of commemorative coins held in the Russian Federation. Well-known mints of the world, national and commercial banks, leading coin distributors take part in it traditionally. The geography of participants is enlarged every year.
Around 260 commemorative coins and 25 coin series from 31 countries issued since January 1 till December 31, 2013 were presented to the international jury (its members are experts of famous world museums and auction houses, representatives of coin distributing companies, numismatic associations and specialized professional editions).
The jury members chose the winners as well as coins which occupied the second and third positions in nine main categories – "Unique Idea Solution", "Successful Artistic Solution", "Original Technology", "Coin Classics", "Souvenir Coin", "Series of the Year", "Silver Coin of the Year", "Gold Coin of the Year" and "Coin of the Year". Besides, the special prize of the Organizing Committee and the prize for "Contribution to the realization of the Pan-Russian Coin Programmes" were given.
A coin that received the greatest number of votes of the voting participants at www.Gold10.ru received the People's Choice Award.
Five coins manufactured by the Russian craftsmen were highly appraised by the authoritative international jury.
"Prometheus" coin issued by the Central Bank of the Russian Federation and struck at the Saint-Petersburg Mint won the Gold Coin of the Year category. The coin denomination is 1000 roubles. It was minted in the number of 250 pieces of gold 999/1000 in "proof-like" quality. The weight of the coin is 1003.40 g. The coin design author is Alexander Baklanov, a People's Artist of Russia, an academician, Head of the Design Center of Goznak. The coin modeling was carried out by A.A. Dolgopolova, an artist of the Design Center.
The jury chose "The Kronstadt Saint Nikolas the Miracle Man Marine Cathedral, Kronstadt District of Saint Petersburg" coin the winner of the Coin Classics category. It was issued by the Bank of Russia and struck at the Saint-Petersburg Mint of Goznak. The coin denomination is 3 roubles, it was produced of sterling silver in the number of 7500 pieces in "proof" quality. The coin weight is 33.94 g. the coin was created by L.A. Evdokimova, and artist and sculptor of the Design Center of Goznak.
The authoritative international jury also distinguished three other coins struck at the Mints of Goznak. "The Year of Preservation of the Environment" coin received the third place in the Unique Idea Solution category. It was presented to the Competition by the Central Bank of the Russian Federation and the Moscow Mint where it had been produced.
The 25-rouble "Relay of the Olympic Flame "Sochi 2014" coin produced at the Saint-Petersburg Mint of Goznak of cupronickel alloy with the application of tampon printing in the number of 250 000 pieces.
The gold "History of the Olympic Movement in Russia" coin with the face value of 25 000 roubles and the weight of 3013.46 g occupied the third position in the Coin of the Year category. It was struck at the Saint-Petersburg Mint of Goznak.
The Russian commemorative coins prevailed against coins presented to the competition by the Banks of Latvia, Lithuania, Mexico, the Bulgarian National Bank, the National Bank of the Republic of Kyrgyzstan, the National Banks of Poland, the Republic of Belarus, the Republic of Kazakhstan, the National bank of Ukraine, the Trans-Dniester Republican Bank, the Central Bank of Armenia. Coins presented by the Australian Mint (Perth), the Hungarian Mint, the Royal Spanish Mint, the Royal Mint (Great Britain), the Royal Mint of Holland, the Royal Mint of Canada, the Austrian Mint, the Mints of Andorra, Pobjoy (Great Britain), Poland, Singapore, Finland, the Paris Mint, the South African Mint, HelveticMint AG (Switzerland), Imprensa Nacional-Casa Da Moeda (Portugal), Israel Coins and Medals Corp. (Israel).
The Royal Mint of Australia, the Central Bank of the Philippines, the Mint and the Affinaging Factory of the Philippines took part in the competition for the first time.
Well-known coin distributors AIKB "Tatfondbank" (Russia), VTB24 Bank (Russia), Resurs Trade (Russia), Russkiy Suvenir (Russia), Coin Invest Trust (Lichtenstein), Emporium Hamburg (Germany), Moneda Nueva (Spain), New Zealand Post (New Zealand), NUMISCOLLECT (Netherlands), PAMP (Switzerland), Treasures of Oz (Australia) were also among the competition participants.
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St. Petersburg Mint
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Mytnaya Str. 17, Moscow, Russia 115162
© 2004-2020 GOZNAK
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Q: XML Matching with Wiremock I'm setting up a dummy PHP server with wiremock and want to match based upon one of the XML fields being passed.  I basically will have multiple requests coming into this same url but the main difference between them will be the invoice number.  My JSON for wiremock looks like this
{
  "request": {
    "method": "ANY",
    "urlPattern": ".*/test.php",
    "bodyPatterns" : [{
      "equalToXml": "<InvoiceNumber>6</InvoiceNumber>"
    }]
  },
  "response": {
    "status": 200,
    "bodyFileName": "sample.xml",
    "headers": {
      "Content-Type": "application/xml"
    }
  }
}

This works fine when I use Postman and only pass an XML with the <InvoiceNumber></InvoiceNumber> field, but the moment I add a secondary field it fails.
I would like to be able to pass any Xml to wiremock and as long as it has the <InvoiceNumber></InvoiceNumber>field it will read it.

A: You may wish to use XPath matching instead, as described in the WireMock documentation. WireMock has some nice XML functionality, including placeholders, that is worth keeping.
XPath
Deems a match if the attribute value is valid XML and matches the XPath expression supplied. An XML document will be considered to match if any elements are returned by the XPath evaluation. WireMock delegates to Java's in-built XPath engine (via XMLUnit), therefore up to (at least) Java 8 it supports XPath version 1.0.
Java:
.withRequestBody(matchingXPath("//InvoiceNumber[text()='6']"))

JSON:
{   "request": {
    ...
     "bodyPatterns" : [ {
      "matchesXPath" : "//InvoiceNumber[text()='6']"
    } ]
    ...   },   ... }

A: Found the solution using a regex method and using matches instead of equalToXml
{
  "request": {
    "method": "ANY",
    "urlPattern": ".*/test.php",
    "bodyPatterns" : [{
      "matches": ".*<InvoiceNumber>6</InvoiceNumber>.*"
    }]
  },
  "response": {
    "status": 200,
    "bodyFileName": "sample.xml",
    "headers": {
      "Content-Type": "application/xml"
    }
  }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


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Horology Forum Moves to London
Rado Adds New Models to DiaMaster Collection
Words Iain Royce
June 12. 2018
Inaugural London Horology Forum announced in Partnership with Dubai Watch Week and Christie's.
Dubai Watch Week and Christie's have confirmed that they will be host the first international Horology Forum in London on the 11th and 12th of September 2018.
The first edition of the Horology Forum took place at the inaugural Dubai Watch Week in 2015, providing a space for intellectual discussion between leading watch curators, pioneers, authors, historians, collectors, brands and industry professionals.
An original concept created by Dubai Watch Week, the Horology Forum is designed to foster free flowing conversation covering a broad spectrum of industry topics. It is the first edition of its kind in partnership with Christie's and is expected to attract a growing number of visitors from the global watch community as it gains international momentum.
The Horology Forum aims to engage and educate attendees as panellists discuss current topics and trends focusing on the generational gap in the industry.
The panels are set to bring together renowned watchmakers, industry icons and collectors to facilitate the exchange of knowledge and share their expertise and insights on some of the most debated and trending topics in the horology industry.
Melika Yazdjerdi, Director of Dubai Watch Week and Senior Marketing & Communication Director, Seddiqi Holding commented: "We are delighted to announce the first international Horology Forum alongside our partner Christie's.
"Dubai Watch Week aims to connect the international watch community and increase appreciation for the art of horology. We are committed to establishing our position on the world's horological map by creating alternative platforms for education and networking."
John Reardon, Senior Vice President of International Head of watches at Christie's said: "The exchange of ideas and academics of leading voices in the watch world is pivotal to the future of our field and the Horology Forum has proven time after time to be the leading platform globally in a non-biased open dialogue on all things horological.
"Christie's is honoured to open its doors and host this exciting educational event with all our friends from Dubai Watch Week."
Iain Royce
26 Articles | View All
Nelissa Baja
Agree? Disagree? Be the first to start a discussion.
Horology Forum Draws Watchmakers to London
20+ speakers confirmed for the 4th edition of the Dubai Watch Week initiative, including Pascal Raffy, Lucien Vouillamoz & Fiona Krüger.


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Coronavirus (COVID-19) updates from the Australian Government
Treasury.gov.au
FOI Disclosure
Secondary Nav
Consumers and community
About Treasury
International Comparison of Australia's Taxes: Report
International Comparison of Australia's Taxes 7.72 MB
The objective of this report is to provide an authoritative statement on how Australia's taxes compare with those in other countries, without making policy recommendations or judgments. Where possible, the report provides a full comparison of Australia's tax system with those of other advanced economies, as represented by the membership of the OECD. In places, comparisons are also drawn with other developed and developing economies in our region. In other places, particularly in respect of the reporting of detailed tax design features, it was not possible for this study to cover all of these countries, so a subset of comparator countries (the OECD-10) was selected. The other nine members of the subset are: Canada, Ireland, Japan, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Spain, Switzerland, the United Kingdom and the United States.
These nine members of the OECD-10 were chosen because they are broadly similar to Australia in terms of their overall tax to GDP ratio and the role of the government sector in their economies (Chapter 1 provides further details). The size of the subset needed to achieve a balance between the degree of similarity between the comparator countries and a sufficiently large sample of countries to provide meaningful comparisons without imposing excessive information collection demands.
The comparison of countries' tax regimes is a challenging task. Caution is paramount in drawing conclusions from such comparisons, because statistical tools, data sources, aggregation issues and assumptions can affect the reliability of the comparisons. Moreover, comprehensive tax comparisons could not be made in all areas due to a lack of data and to methodological issues with the studies that have been conducted. This limitation applies for retirement savings, tax administration and compliance costs and the use of tax expenditures.
The report shows that Australia is a low-tax country. Australia's overall tax burden (31.6 per cent), measured as the tax to GDP ratio, is the eighth lowest of the 30-member OECD. Australia's mix between direct and indirect taxation is in line with other OECD countries, although the composition differs. For example, Australia's indirect tax mix differs through a lower reliance on value-added and sales taxes, and a relatively higher reliance on property and transaction taxes, further, Australia does not levy any wealth, estate, inheritance or gift taxes.
Australia's total wage and salary tax take as a proportion of GDP is low compared with the OECD-30 and the OECD-10. While Australia's individual income tax burden is relatively high compared to the OECD-30 and OECD-10, once social security contributions and payroll taxes are accounted for, Australia has the second lowest level of direct taxation on individuals and payroll in the OECD-10.
Australia's company income tax as a proportion of GDP is above that of the other OECD-10 countries, but there are classification issues concerning this comparison. Australia's statutory corporate tax rate is in line with OECD-30 and OECD-10 averages. Australia's treatment of depreciation, losses and goodwill is generally less favourable. Australia's reliance on property and transaction taxes, which are virtually all levied by State, Territory and local governments, is relatively high compared with the OECD-30.
Australia's reliance on property and transaction taxes is more in line with the OECD-10, despite having the highest tax burden on financial and capital transactions.
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how to catch atlantic bonito
How-To Catch Articles and Videos, Where's the Bite, Regulations, and more! There are four main species of Bonito Fish that are most commonly recognized. Atlantic Bonito fishing. The striped bonito has been taken on the Atlantic coast as far north as Cape Cod. Fish Trap. Sometimes confused with false albacore because of their body coloration, the two fish differ in their color patterns, body markings, and physical size. They are a great gamefish on both light spin and fly gear. Atlantic Bonito (Sarda sarda)(Florida Record 6lbs. It is rare in the Caribbean Sea and Gulf of Mexico and is common in the Mediterranean and Black Seas. Sign-up to receive our monthly newsletter with interesting blogs about fishing and boating. 43ft Vessel — Captain Charles Jension. Atlantic Bonito fishing. Normally it travels in fairly large schools and is common offshore in the vicinity of New York City where it is known as "skipjack" because of its habit of jumping from the water. To work the jig, you need to roll your wrist and reel in. The caudal peduncle has a lateral keel on either side. Atlantic bonito grow up to 75 cm (30 in) and weighs 5-6 kg (10 to 12 pounds) at this size. As with all Scombroid fishes, there are also two smaller keels farther back, above and below the main keel. Commonly called bonita, false albacore, or little tuna, it resembles the Atlantic bonito, skipjack tuna, and species of mackerel. Boats that catch Atlantic Bonito. Atlantic Bonito are identified by their color, the conspicuously wavy lateral line, 16 to 22 gill rakers on the first arch, and the three lateral keels on the caudal peduncle. Subscribe to our Newsletter and get all the information you need to learn, plan, and equip for your next fishing adventure. They are most easily recognized by the dark angled lines on their backs and their sharp little canine like teeth. Schoolie bonita are typically 3-4 pounds; adult fish usually weigh 5-8 pounds. It also occurs from the Arctic Circle to Portugal. In Atlantic United States waters there is no limit to catching bonito except in Florida state waters, where the total weight limit of bonito caught cannot exceed 100 pounds. If your goal is to catch loads of Bonito fish, then this is your best method. How to Catch Bonito and Fishing for Bonito Tuna. The Atlantic salmon is native to the northern Atlantic from the Connecticut River to Quebec, Iceland and southern Greenland. The methods for catching bonito are quite diverse. Offshore Tuna Fishing. Bonito tuna are fantastic fun on light gear and two or four-kilo spinning outfits Australian Fish … Normally it travels in fairly large schools and is common offshore in the vicinity of New York City where it is known as "skipjack" because of its habit of jumping from the water. > Atlantic Bonito. There are three methods used to catch Bonito. The first dorsal fin has 20-23 spines. Best of all, they always provide a unique fishing experience that will challenge anglers of all skill levels. A steady retrieve with an erratic lure (such as the Krocadile) or an erratic retrieve with a steady running lure (like a Yo-Zuri Crystal … We encourage you to follow CDC recommendations. The first method, trolling, is used when you have not located the Bonito. The Atlantic bonito (often spoken as bonita but spelled bonito) boasts a steel-blue or blue-green back with stripes and silvery bellies. Atlantic Bonito can be found as far north as Nova Scotia, Canada, and all along the eastern seaboard coast. The best time to catch bonito is when the temperature of water ranges from 16 to 20 degree Celsius at dawn in autumn and summer. Inland, there are several landlocked populations … You can catch Spanish off the piers, in the surf and from boats. Schools of Bonito are often found by trolling and, once located, live bait fish or lures can be used while drifting nearby to catch even more fish. The speedy Bonito fights well on light tackle and is easy to catch once a feeding school is found. Bonito are seasonal visitors to nearshore areas in southern New England. The Atlantic Bonito averages 4 to 10lbs. Please complete the following fields to subscribe to our newsletter. ⚠ Before you head to the water check the latest COVID-19 updates. The common characteristic of all quality albie and bonito haunts is deep, moving water of at least average clarity. Some species of tuna migrate large distances and a highly migratory species permit is needed. Metal lures such as Deadly Dicks, Swedish Pimples and stingers are perhaps the most commonly used lures for bonito and false albacore, but in my opinion, with the development of soft plastic and epoxy-based lures, the metals are now practically obsolete. The flesh is dark colored and held in low esteem by many. Trolling. Atlantic Bonito are strong fish that make lightning fast runs and sudden changes in direction. Priority Too . They are also found in the Mediterranean Sea and the Black Sea where they are a popular food and often used as canned tuna. In saltwater fishing, the striped bass is pursued by the fishing masses with a devotion that borders on the religious. Also, the intestine is straight, rather than folded in the middle. They continue as far as Argentina, South America. [5] When handling Bonito they tend to really fight, making it hard to remove the hook. Part 2 coming soon. Bonito fishing techniques. Also, the intestine is straight, rather than folded in the middle. Learn amazing fishing tips about how to catch Atlantic Bonito, different fishing methods, what tackle and bait to use to catch Atlantic Bonito and more! It is similar in its habits, but somewhat smaller than the more common Atlantic bonito. Also, the strength to diameter ratio helps the line cut through the water during a bonito's drag melting run. The world record is 18 pounds 4 ounces, and was caught in the Azores.It is a strong swimmer. New Jersey Blue Fishing How To Catch Blue Fish Captain's Log Marine Weather Report. The Atlantic salmon is native to the northern Atlantic from the Connecticut River to Quebec, Iceland and southern Greenland. Although not common to all parts of Florida both species are found along both the upper Atlantic coast and the Gulf coasts. There are two types of Bonito caught here in Florida, the Atlantic Bonito & the Blue Bonito also called Little Tunny. How-To Catch Articles and Videos, Where's the Bite, Regulations, and more! There are a total of 16-23 gill rakers on the first gill arch. Sign-up to receive our monthly newsletter with interesting blogs about fishing and boating. Florida Sportsman's 50 Favorite Sportfish of Florida: Bonito. As with all Scombroid fishes, there are also two smaller keels farther back, above and below the main keel. When: mid March thru early May are the best months. I use Dexter Russell knives.. you can get them here. The first method, trolling, is used when you have not located the Bonito. The following list includes additional details on where to catch this fish: The best fishing methods include trolling, casting, jigging, or live bait fishing. It is rare in the Caribbean Sea and Gulf of Mexico and is common in the Mediterranean and Black Seas. Troll at or near the surface, jib, or surface cast for this fish. In the end, we caught three Atlantic bonito, which is a type of tuna found in Canarian waters. The Blue Bonito (Little Tunny) averages 15lbs. How to Catch Bonito. • Bonito Fish swim in large schools. how to catch Atlantic Bonito. The general shape is oval, much like a football. If you're fishing for bonito with lures, you can use shiny plugs or shiny spoons for best results. The following are fishing methods used to catch this fish: The following are lures, tackle or bait that can be used to catch this fish: What to Know About Old Lures and Vintage Fishing Lures. But if fishing for striped bass is a piscatorial religion, then fishing for hardtails is its cultish counterpart. 10 Useful Holiday Gift Ideas for Anglers and Boaters. Persuader. today i am cleaning an Atlantic bonito . They have an attitude. I have managed to land albies from the estuary inside a river mouth and from a two-foot-deep sandy flat. The flesh is dark colored and held in low esteem by many. 10 Tips for Catching Albies & Bones; 10 Tips for Catching Albies & Bones. The second dorsal fin consists of 13-18 rays followed by 7-10 finlets. The back is steel blue or blue-green. Where to catch Atlantic Salmon. They are mostly associated with fishing from the coast or in the coastal zone from boats. As food. Double Your Catch Bonnier, MRAA Partner to Promote Certified Dealers Where to Fish in October Boat Review: Century 3200 CC Fly Fishing for Silver Salmon Albacore Tuna Fishing How to Catch Mid-Atlantic Kingfish Fountain 34 TE: 2020 Boat Buyers Guide How to Catch California Chinook Salmon Targeting Redfish Along the Georgia Coast They are members of the same family as tunas and mackerel, and they exhibit many of the best f… Tuna are a schooling fish that often feed on baitfish, shrimp, and squid. The following are fishing methods used to catch this fish: The following are lures, tackle or bait that can be used to catch this fish: Lake Fishing for Beginners: 5 Steps to Get Started. Bonito are often caught trolling shiny Rapala type plugs. Pacific bonito (Sarda chiliensis) are some of the smallest members of the tuna family and have been a staple catch of party boat anglers along the Pacific coast since the middle of the last century. Bonito are generally found offshore in 300 to 600 feet, but can also be encountered in the vicinity of kelp beds and inshore nearer the surface. Learn how to target and catch false albacore and Atlantic bonito on Monday, Aug. 27, at 7 p.m. at a Rhode Island Saltwater Anglers Association seminar being held … The benefits of the braided lines really shine when chasing bonito. Of course, the real challenge for tackling both of these speed demons is to catch them on the fly. The first dorsal fin has 20-23 spines. The best fishing methods include trolling, casting, jigging, or live bait fishing. Atlantic Bonito (Sarda sarda)(Florida Record 6lbs. The Atlantic bonito is often confused with the skipjack or with other Atlantic Scombroid species. It's not as easy to catch and will give you a fight. It is rare in the Caribbean Sea and Gulf of Mexico and is common in the Mediterranean and Black Seas. The bonitos have stripes on the back, not the belly. A strong, fast swimmer, it is known to skip or leap out of the water when in search of prey. A strong, fast swimmer, it is known to skip or leap out of the water when in search of prey. Here are some tips for catching Atlantic bonito: Often, bonito will be jumping at the surface of the ocean chasing bait. Atlantic bonito fishing from shore, enjoy ! However, the best time for catching bonito would be when the temperature of water ranges from 16 to 20 degrees Celsius at dawn in autumn and summer. However, they will be scarce in the Gulf of Mexico. Atlantic bonito are part of the same mackerel family (Scombridae) as tuna. How to Catch Bonito and Albies From Shore. Bonito tuna are fantastic fun on … Bonito travel in large schools sometimes a half mile square. Home > Learn to Fish & Boat > Fish Species They are the most common tuna species in the Atlantic Ocean and range from New England to Brazil, the Mediteranean to southern Africa. This can be a highly effective method if bonito are not showing in the water or popping up. The Pacific Bonito outweigh their Atlantic relatives, but both species are usually caught up to a maximum of 30'' and 10-12lbs. When & Where Atlantic Bonito ( Sarda sarda ) can be caught throughout the eastern and western Atlantic ocean , as north as Nova Scotia/Scandinavia and as south as Argentina/South Africa , with the most important fisheries being the Mediterranean and Black Seas . Fast moving lures or bait is your best bet for luring in Atlantic bonito. The World record is 18lbs 4ozs. Get the Pliers Atlantic bonito (Sarda sarda) are less prolific than false albacore, presenting the angler with the more challenging task of first finding the fish and then enticing them to eat. Do you like this content? It also occurs from the Arctic Circle to Portugal. We encourage you to follow CDC recommendations. Regulations vary by location, so make sure to stay up to date with the regulations in your area of fishing if you plan on fishing without a charter. While not widely practiced in the Northeast, fishing live baits in conjunction with chum can be a very effective way to catch bonito. Atlantic Bonito are typically the first of the "ocean speedsters" to arrive in the waters of Southern New England. Atlantic Bonito Terminal Gear. Share on. This fish is fun once hooked because it puts on an aggressive, furious fight. The following list includes additional details on where to catch this fish: The best fishing methods include trolling, casting, jigging, or live bait fishing. The second dorsal fin consists of 13-18 rays followed by 7-10 finlets. Learn new fishing skills, boating resources, fishing etiquette, conservation and more. The bonitos have stripes on the back, not the belly. September 14, 2018. > Atlantic Bonito. Neither location is thought of as a typical spot, so I think that it is safe to say that it is possible to catch a false albacore from virtually any stretch of shoreline. The arrival of the Atlantic Bonito signals the beginning of the spring and summer fishing season in the coastal Carolinas. ... Inshore Blue Fishing Trip. Home > Learn to Fish & Boat > Fish Species Subscribe to our Newsletter and get all the information you need to learn, plan, and equip for your next fishing adventure. Bonito is best served raw, and while there is a risk to picking up a parasite, it is extremely unlikely. The Sarda species have no teeth on the tongue and no swim bladder. Little Tunny aka Bonita can be found as shallow as 15 feet and as deep as 300 feet off Miami. Atlantic (Boston Mackerel) Small tube worms and jigs Jigging to schools of suspended fish Coastal and offshore ocean waters, from 5-35 miles offshore Mid - February – mid April peak March — early April 1/2 – 3 pounds None; 3 pound minimum for initial state record Mackerel, King Live bait (menhaden, mullet, spot, small bluefish); artifi- 8oz.) It is replaced in the Pacific by other Sarda species. But there is no other species that brings out fishing fever more than atlantic bonito and false albacore in the late summer and fall. Schools of Bonito are often found by trolling and, once located, live bait fish or lures can be used while drifting nearby to catch even more fish. Where to catch Atlantic Salmon. It is often incorrectly categorized as a species of Tuna due to their shape, speed and meat fibers. Get fishing tips and tricks and read personal stories from anglers who live and breathe fishing and boating. When trying to locate surface feeding Bonito Tuna look for birds circling and diving. Where to catch Atlantic Bonito. Atlantic Bonito . They are mostly associated with fishing from the coast or in the coastal zone from boats. 3). Select a state to find fishing and boating information: Get started fishing today, purchase your fishing license online, check regulations and more. NASHA III. Most anglers catch Bonito while fishing for kingfish.
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Debtor Robert Futoran appeals the district court's ruling that Max Rush, the trustee of Futoran's estate, is not obligated to give Futoran the payments received by the estate under a deferred annuity purchased prepetition by Futoran. We affirm.
"The doctrine of res judicata does not apply to direct attacks on judgments. [It] does not preclude a litigant from making a direct attack ... upon the judgment before the court which rendered it." See Watts v. Pinckney, 752 F.2d 406, 410 (9th Cir. 1985). It is the law of the case doctrine that "ordinarily precludes a court from re-examining an issue previously decided by the same court ... in the same case." Moore v. Jas. H. Matthews & Co., 682 F.2d 830, 833 (9th Cir. 1982). But that doctrine is not "applied 'woodenly' [.]" Id. (law of the case doctrine is "analogous to, but less absolute a bar than, res judicata"). An appellate court retains limited power to recall and revise its own mandate. Zipfel v. Halliburton Co., 861 F.2d 565, 567 (9th Cir. 1988); Greater Boston Television Corp. v. F.C.C., 463 F.2d 268, 278 (D.C. Cir. 1971). "The clearest reason for recall or revision of appellate mandate is to ... make the judgment consistent with the opinion." Boston Television, 463 F.2d at 278.
The district court did not violate either the res judicata or law of the case doctrines. Assuming arguendo that the district court's first judgment required the turnover of the annuity payments, the district court retained the power to conform its judgment to its opinion in order to avert the injustice of enriching Futoran at the expense of his creditors.
In re Woodson held that Cal.Civ.Pro. Sec. 704.100 as incorporated by 11 U.S.C. § 522 exempts the "ownership" interest in an unmatured life insurance policy but not the "beneficial" interest. 839 F.2d 610, 618-20 (9th Cir. 1988) (right to maintain a life insurance policy and name a beneficiary is an ownership interest; right to future payment is a beneficial interest). In re Moffat stated that under the reasoning of Woodson, the right to payments under an unmatured annuity is a beneficial interest and is exempt under Cal.Civ.Pro. Sec. 704.100. 107 B.R. 255, 263 (Bankr.C.D. Cal. 1989) (assuming arguendo that annuity was unmatured, "debtor would not be entitled to claim an exemption in any portion of the beneficiary interest--the 40 quarterly payments--payable under [it]"), aff'd on other grounds, 959 F.2d 740, 741 (9th Cir. 1992).
The right to payments under an unmatured annuity plan is a beneficial interest equivalent to the right to receive payment under a life insurance plan and is not exempt.1 Allowing "debtors to purchase single premium deferred annuities to protect all or a substantial portion of their assets from liquidation ... would completely gut the rights of creditors in bankruptcy." Id. at 264. The district court did not err.


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TOM BECKET: Europe needs saving from itself before it turns Japanese and investors shouldn't bet on QE
By Tom Becket for Thisismoney.co.uk
Published: 02:09 EST, 22 August 2014 | Updated: 07:33 EST, 22 August 2014
Forgive me, dear readers, for I have sinned. It has not even been that long since my last confession.
This time, I made the heinous error of putting too much faith in our chums across the Channel. I thought that they could change. It seems thus far I have been wrong.
Europe is once again generating nervous headlines in the press and concern amongst investors.
Eurozone: The European Central Bank has tried to pump money into the single currency, but problems persist
Economic growth has ground to a halt in the 'big three' nations of Germany, France and Italy.
Confidence in all three remains woeful. Yes, there are better trends (from an admittedly low base) in Spain, Portugal and Greece, where they have taken their dose of medicine, but a side-effect of the austerity pill is 'low-flation' and, in some cases, falling prices.
Indeed, the timeliest European economic data suggests that the spectre of deflation could become a Europe-wide phenomenon, including in Scandinavia.
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The rubbish economic data and worrying disinflationary trend has sparked increasingly desperate calls (mostly from investors long of European assets) for the ECB to put their money where their mouth is and print euros.
Indeed, most commentators now expect this to happen. Whilst we see this as a possibility, we are yet to be convinced that this is plausible, let alone probable. Ultimately 'Super Mario' Draghi will have to do something, but what he can and will be permitted to do remains highly debatable.
He also does not seem keen on bailing out the woeful politics of certain European nations, such as France and Italy.
Tom Becket is chief investment officer for Psigma Investment Management
It seems more likely to us that instead of immediate quantitative easing a further cut in the deposit rate from minus 0.1 per cent could be an acceptable step, thereby reducing the temptation for banks to keep money with the ECB.
'Lend, lend and lend some more' is Draghi's increasingly desperate plea to the banks; a request that has not been met with enthusiasm.
The bulls would claim that the 'targeted Long Term Refinancing Options' coming later this year will spur fresh lending by the banks, but we don't know if €400bn will be impetus enough.
There will also be some support from the ABS purchase programme that the ECB is working hard on, which should also benefit our investments in these markets, but again we would question whether this will suffice.
What is not up for debate is the fact that Europe needs help before it becomes Japanese.
We have said for nearly five years now that the possibility of regionalised deflation in Euroland was a clear and present danger and with each passing day this claim looks increasingly prescient. There's not enough growth and insufficient confidence, while the financial arteries remain clogged.
This is not the recipe for success.
Europe: Tom Becket says struggling eurozone nations need better leadership
The architects in chief of this misery remain the distinctly useless cohort of politicians leading Europe through this period of decay.
Their refusal to reform their economies will see them fall further behind the US, Emerging Markets and, much to their disappointment, the UK.
Last week the French politicians in their latest comedic act decided that they would simply scrap any attempt to get their deficit within previously agreed levels and Monsieur Sapin, the Finance Minister in the French 'Big Top', chose instead to blame the ECB for the lack of growth and insipid inflation.
What does this mean for European assets?
European credit can continue to perform well, despite the paltry yields, because there remains little chance of default and wide spreads over German bunds should keep the asset class in favour.
Indeed, at the back end of last week the ten-year German bund yield hit an amazing 0.97 per cent, making corporate bonds very attractive.
For European equities the outlook is far less clear; markets have recovered their poise over the last week, but with European equities having gained strongly in the last two years, without the justification of increasing profits, obvious value is hard to find.
European profits now need the reality of improving profitability, rather than mere hope of a better tomorrow.
Lack of leadership
Well here we are again; potentially another summer ruined by events in Europe.
Going back to the theme of my introduction, the last time I ventured in to a catholic church (I wasn't confessing) was the sensational Rouen Cathedral. The mind-blowing architecture was one attraction, but the reason for Freddy (my son, aged three months at the time) and my visit was to pay homage to the tomb of Richard the Lionheart.
Freddy seemed impressed (he slept), but to the French visitors to this fine medieval city the Coeur de Lion is a secondary attraction, after the memorials to Joan of Arc.
Gallant, selfless and with a fiery determination, the relentless teenage heroine took on the might of the English army. The 'Maid of Orleans' paid the ultimate price and was burned at the stake, before her ashes were scattered in the River Seine, in order to prevent her grave becoming a place of pilgrimage.
Where the Europeans once had leaders of her ilk they now have self-serving and timid masters such as Francois Hollande, who steadfastly refuse to make decisions for the greater good and help propel Europe away from its Japanese fate.
While that remains the case it is hard to become a structural bull of Eropean equities.
TOM BECKET: Europe needs saving from itself and investors shouldn't bet on QE
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