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Tag Archives: An American Werewolf in London
September 27, 2019 by Moreland
Horrorfest VIII: Strange Tales of Terror
It's that time of the year again!
It is time for Horrorfest VIII!
HORRORFEST!!!!!!
31 Days of horror, suspense, mystery, gothic tales, Alfred Hitchcock, psycho killers, ghosts, murder, dystopian futures, monsters, and more!
I love film and here's my chance to share it with you all.
A couple years ago I put Jane Austen in a costume and added it to my Horrorfest traditions. This year I choose to dress her up in a skull mask for Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos. As you know I'm Latino and that is a part of the way people celebrate those who have passed on. This year both my grandmother died in the beginning of the year, while one of my best friends died last month. While I can't paint my face, my skin allergies, I can honor them in this way. Along with Jane!
Well, I hope you enjoy this year's picks!
To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don't Belong in the World: Carnival of Souls (1962)
To start Horrorfest II from the beginning, go to There Are Many Strange Legends in the Amazon: The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)
To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart: The Wolf Man (1941)
To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)
To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)
To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It's the End of the World: The Birds (1963)
Posted in Austenite
Tagged Alfred Hitchcock, An American Werewolf in London, Classic Horror Film, Day of the Dead, Dia de los Muertos, Dystopian Future, Ghosts, Gothic Horror, Halloween, Horror Movie, Horrorfest, Horrorfest VIII, Hunting Monster, Monster, Murder, Mystery, Psycho-Killer, Suspense, Suspense Horror Drama
October 25, 2016 by Moreland
I'm…a Werewolf: Teen Wolf (1985)
Let's see, we've done teen zombies with Thriller, teen vampires with Once Bitten…what are we missing? Oh yes:
I'm… a werewolf.
So you are probably wondering why I didn't review this film two years ago when my Horrorfest III was obsessed with werewolves. I wanted to, but didn't have enough time.
So instead I am doing it now as it seems fitting with all my other teen films I have done so far. So this film was Michael J. Fox's first non-TV film. The only reason he was able to make it, was because filming was delayed by his TV mom, Meredith Baxter's pregnancy. However, this film came out after Back to the Future even though he made it first. And even though people liked this film, Back to the Future became the monster hit of the year.
But while people loved this film, this was actually Michael J. Fox's least favorite film. He disliked it so much he declined being in the sequel Teen Wolf Too. Instead going on to do The Secret of My Success, Bright Lights Big City, and of course Back to the Future: Part II.
I have to agree with Michael J. Fox, while I don't hate it, it isn't my favorite of his work. I mean we all know what that is…
Okay, enough with The Back to the Future references, let's move on to Teen Wolf!
So this film takes the idea from I Was a Teenage Werewolf but steers away from the darker tones and tries to focus on what teen life would be like with instead of puberty, you turn into a werewolf.
This film also came out during a cycle of werewolf films, such as: An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, etc.
So the film starts off with Scott Howard's (Michael J. Fox) basketball game. Scott is not the best player and not popular, more on the geeky side.
I know, an uncool Michael J. Fox?
It seems impossible to me. But this is acting, sometimes we pretend to be the opposite of what we are.
So moving on. So he's horrible at basketball, the most popular girl in school won't say two words to him, he is bullied, etc. And to top it all off his body has been going through some…changes.
First he growls during the basketball game
Then he finds a super long hair on his chest, hair on his hands, pointy ears, wolf teeth, and during a two minutes in heaven at a party he grows crazy long nails and scratches up his best friend, who is secretly in love with him and he is totally oblivious to), Boof.
Yes, that is her name. She was named after the writer's friend from high school. Anyways, he soon learns from his dad what is causing this.
I liked the transformation scene it was pretty creepy looking, good job makeup guys. I thought the make up was cool too, sort of similar to I Was a Teenage Werewolf but longer hair.
Scott decides to let his best friend know about him being a werewolf, and his friend Stiles (Jerry Levine [you might recognize him as Jamie in Casual Sex] who doesn't freak out but decides that they could profit from this if done right. Yes, in this werewolf's don't act bestial and attack, the full moon doesn't come into play, and no one screams in terror or tries to kill him; instead the Horwards can control it, most of the time. And unlike most horror or werewolf films; Michael J. Fox spends most of the film in werewolf makeup.
Most werewolf films is either split fifty-fifty, or under fifty. And of you think of it, most werewolf films focus on how the person's life is affected, trying to stop it, the carnage that comes of it; not how you could profit from it or being a werewolf almost 24 hours a day. Yes, this is a very different concept.
I'm in shock
So everything comes to a head when during one of the games he fully voges into a werewolf.
We then see how being the wolf is bettering his life. He is a better basketball player
I know I thought it was weird too, but then again they did do the same thing in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992). After the guys were bit by vampires, they suddenly became extremely good at basketball. I guess being a supernatural being makes you good at sports.
He becomes super popular, Stiles selling all kinds of merchandise and products. It makes him smarter as he starts getting A's in his classes, everyone loves him and wants his autograph, and the the most popular girl in school starts wanting to be with him.
In fact, one of the weirdest nonsensical scenes involves the most popular girl in school, Pamela. Scott has been asked to be in the school play, a play that was previously just Pamela and the director, and she comes on to Scott. At first the scene starts off with her in her bra and panties, and then she takes her bra off. We cut away to hear Scott howling, so it is safe to assume they had sex. After this they go on a date and her boyfriend Mick is there and angry at Scott for being with his woman. When Scott talks to Pamela about it, she says:
Pamela: Well, you can't really blame him. He is my boyfriend.
Well then why were you messing with Scott?
When Scott asks her the same thing, she says that it was then and just something that happens.
And she legit does not get why Scott is confused. If you ask me, she and the school drama teacher were probably doing some stuff backstage. I mean otherwise why was the school production a production of one and why did he cast such a horrible actress as the lead?
So the film instead of being a werewolf film, actually becomes a teen film about a person getting too much fame and losing who they are; turning on their friends and the people who really care about him. He hardly spends time with Boof and keeps having "cooler" things to do then help out with his father's hardware store.
Scott Howard: I was with Stiles this afternoon.
Harold Howard: I know.
Scott Howard: You saw?
Harold Howard: Yeah, I saw, unless that was another werewolf doing a handstand on top of Stiles' wolfmobile and making a fool of himself.
I think that is one of the things that made me dislike the film. We had a werewolf but not a real one; instead a drama about teenagers that could have been done without the transformation scenes.
Although I did think the van surfing scene was cool.
So everything comes to a head when they go to the school dance. First Scott starts off as the wolf, but goes back to being plain old Scott; switching back to the wolf when instigated into a fight. The rage and anger he has at the other student scares him and makes him wonder at his ability. Can he hold it together, or will he become like the other wolfmen?
He also is struggling with who he should be, another teen element and not real horror one. Should he be what everyone wants? The wolf? Or should he be true to his heart and be himself?
It is time for the final game, and Scott decides to be himself instead of the wolf. In Karate Kid fashion (but not as good) we have a montage of the basketball game with Scott scoring the final basket and finally coming to terms with who he is.
So there is Teen Wolf. It isn't horrible, but just regurgitates a lot of teen films clichés and tosses in werewolves. It also had a lot of montages and drags in a quite a few places. It also is weird placing it in a genre; it's too serious to be a comedy, but too serious to be a drama, and it doesn't really contain the typology of a horror film. Its a bit mish-mash and will be either be a hit for you or just meh.
But whether you love or hate the film, there is one thing we can all agree on: Michael J. Fox is the BEST!
For the previous post, go to We've Seen Dracula, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein's Monster: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
For more werewolf films, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)
For more Michael J. Fox, go to Portrait of a Fangirl
For more '80s films, go to I Don't Want to Be a Vampire. I'm a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)
For more teen films, go to I'm the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
Posted in Horrorfest V
Tagged '80s film, All About the '80s, An American Werewolf in London, Back to the Future, Back to the Future Part II, Basketball, Boof, Bright Lights Big City, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), Casual Sex? (1998), I Was a Teenage Werewolf, Jerry Levine, Michael J. Fox, Scott Howard, Stiles, Teen Film, Teen Wolf, Teen Wolf Too, The Howling, The Karate Kid (1984), The Secret of My Success, Transforms During the Full Moon, Transforms into a Werewolf, Werewolf
No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)
And though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver. For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the thriller.
So I know you are probably thinking, a music video? That's not a horror film.
This music video is almost 14 mins and a recommended length for a short film, by the New York Film Academy, is 10-15 mins. That makes this "music video" a short film, and perfect for our countdown.
It was directed by John Landis, most known for his film An American Werewolf in London, and he made the film because he wanted to bring back the theatrical short, you know the short film before the movie. Like Pixar and Disney used to do.
"I saw it as a chance to resurrect a genre that had once been a Hollywood staple. Music videos were new in 1983, and MTV was just two years old."
They even tried to get an Academy Award nomination for Best Short Live Action, but the Academy didn't have the same love for it as the rest of the world did. However in 2009 it was selected for the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress, being the first music video in history to receive that honor.
It takes place in the 1950s and starts off with Michael and his date (Ola Ray) are driving and the car runs out of gas. They get out to walk through the creepy forest:
Stay out of the forest!
Michael wears a red letterman that looks a lot like a certain jacket from a certain horror film:
He asks his date to be his girlfriend, and she agrees him giving her a ring to symbolize it.
But then he warns her:
Michael: There's something I've got to tell you.
Michael's Girl: Yes, Michael?
Michael: I'm not like other guys.
Michael's Girl: Of course you're not. That's why I love you.
Michael: No, I mean I'm different.
Michael's Girl: What are you talking about?
Nothing good is going to come of this.
And then the moon comes out:
And he changes into a Werecat!
And the makeup is pretty creepy. You can thank Rick Baker for that. Even though CGI is probably cheaper, I love seeing what people were able to make with such limited supplies and technology. It is unbelievable.
Back to the video. So Michael the werecat os chasing his date through the forest. Run girl, run!
Just as the werecat is about to grab her, we cut to a movie theater. Yes this is a film that Michael and his girlfriend are watching.
Michael loves the film but his date (Ola Ray) is not into horror films. Such a pity.
She walks out and Michael, being a good date, follows. As they are outside the music starts up and we get those perfect lyrics that are impossible to hate.
It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before
You make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between
You're paralyzed
Now at first this is Michael just joking around with his girlfriend, teasing her. But it will soon change.
You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin'up behind
You're out of time
I like how in his dance Michael Jackson throws in a Frankenstein monster move and hints at famous "thrillers".
Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time (they're open wide)
This is the end of your life
They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night I'll save you from the terrors on the screen,
I'll make you see
Now in this scene it is very apparent that they are taking there time walking home in not the best conditions. There are no streetlights and a ton of fog. You know what's coming, something bad.
I'm getting shivers
And then we have the best thing in the world. Just as Michael and his girlfriend go by the cemetery, we hear Vincent Price's voice. Bringing us:
And then things begin to rise in the graveyard.
The midnite hour is close at hand
To terrorize y'awl's neighbourhood
It's funny to think that this music video never would have had such an amazing voice in it, I mean aside from Michael Jackson, if it wasn't for writer Rod Temperton's wife, Peggy Lipton. Temperton had wanted talking at one part and needed a classic horror actor to give the music the edge he desired. Lipton was a good friend of Price, asked him and he agreed.
So the rest of the dead are waking up; out of every grave, tomb, and casket.
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Can you dig it?!
And of course, they head after Michael.
They are surrounded! Oh no! Michael's girlfriend looks to Michael for help, but it is too late:
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then we have one of the most engaging dances ever to be created/performed.
They actually had to think long and hard how to create the scene where they dance that wasn't childish or silly, but kept to the mood of the previous scenes; and I have to say they accomplished it. In fact, before Landis agreed to direct, he made it mandatory that all extras spend two weeks in rehearsals with the choreographer; something that had never been done before. This dance has been such a big part of our culture from Thrill Around the World to being referenced in numerous films and TV shows.
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight
That it's a thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller
Thriller here tonight
Michael's date is horrified and runs into a creepy old house, with the zombies surrounding her on every side. Very Night of the Living Dead.
Too bad she doesn't have a Ben to save her as they start destroying the house to get her.
Michael grabs her and bam. It turns out they are just in a home, Michael isn't a zombie….Or is he? We close on Vincent Price's amazing laugh with frozen still of Michael's yellow werecat eyes.
That was Michael Jackson's Thriller and it is amazing. From the song, to Jackson, to Price, to Ray, to the dancing, the makeup- I could go on and on but it is just perfect. I mean it gives you everything you want
Plus a fun dance to do. Check it out for yourself!
For the previous post, go to Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)
For more on Michael Jackson, go to Haunted Harmonies of Halloween: Top 5 Songs to Play on Halloween
For more Vincent Price, go to A Man Without a Face: The Bat (1959)
For more zombies, go to Those Aren't Men They Are the Living Dead: White Zombie (1932)
For more music reviews, go to Shook Me All Night Long
For more '80s music, go to Back in Black
For more '80s films, go to I'll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)
Posted in Horrorfest V, Musical Stylings of Me
Tagged '80s film, '80s Hair, '80s Music, '80s Music Video, All About the '80s, An American Werewolf in London, Fog, Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Monster, Full Moon, I Was a Teenage Werewolf, John Landis, Makeup, Michael Jackson, Movie Theater, Movie Theaters, Music, Music Video, Musical Film, New York Film Academy, Night of Living Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Ola Ray, Peggy Lipton, Psychological Thriller, Rick Baker, Rod Temperton, Short Film, Theatrical Short, Thrill Around the World, Thriller, Vincent Price, Watch Horror Films, Werecat, Zombie, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombie Attack, Zombie Film, Zombies
October 6, 2015 by Moreland
The Story, We're Living it. It's Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)
The story, it's happening to us now. We're living it. It's-it's alive, it's real, it's breathing.
So remember way back in April, when I talked about how much I love the Brothers Grimm and all their stories?
Well for those of you who don't, I loved them. I used to read the stories over and over and over again.
They are such a huge, huge part of my childhood. I not only read them, but I read like every version of their tales. Such as Shannon Hale's The Goose Girl; The Princess Test by Gail Carson Levine; or The Rumplestilskin Problem by Vivian Vande Velde. And that's just naming a few, I've read practically every version and retelling out there.
So when I saw a trailer for The Brothers Grimm I was so EXCITED! I'm not quite sure what I was expecting, I don't even remember what the trailer was like. I just know if it had the Brothers Grimm's name on it. I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!
My mom, sister, and went to see it and I thought…..
WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING? THE BROTHERS GRIMM WHAT? THIS THING IS SO CREEPY I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! SCARRED!!!
Needless to say I didn't like it.
I didn't understands half the things that were happening! I didn't like most of the characters. And I thought it was one of the creepiest things I had ever seen. And I was like thirteen at the the time and saw many different films, but this one creeped me out. After a while, I kind of forgot about it, other than I liked Heath Ledger (he's always awesome) and that I actually liked Matt Damon in this.
I know, I know. If you have been following you should be shocked at that statement as I have said quite a few times how much I dislike Matt Damon. I just think he is a horrible actor as he is the same in everything!! However, he was so different in this film that I actually forgot it was him. And that is what a good actor does, they melt away so all you see is their character on the screen.
Anyways, so time past and I completely forgot about this movie. That is until I saw it on Amazon Prime Instant Watch.
Amazon's all watch this!
And I thought, hey, ten years have past. Maybe it's time to give it another view.
And as I remember it being a horrorish/comedy film (what I call Com-Ror), I can totally review it for horrorfest. So here we go. I present to you:
So this film is actually a melting pot. It is a historical fiction, horror, comedy, and fantasy concoction.
And they actually work pretty well together.
So the film opens up with the poor Grimm family. The young sister is sick and they are all shivering from the cold as they have no more wood for a fire. Wilhelm, the oldest, is trying to be the man of the house and helping his mother while Jacob has gone out to sell the family cow. Instead of bringing back money, he has "magic beans".
Poor, sweet, naive little Jacob. He was tricked into getting magic beans. The mom is sad, but Wilhelm becomes incensed and beats his brother.
I know we are barely into the film and already we have a dead father, soon-to-be dead sister, a boy tricked out of everything, and then one brother getting beat by the other. That's a really dark opening scene for a family picture.
And by now you can kind of see the direction this film is taking. It is going to be the story pieces occurred in real life and lead to the collection of tales we have today. I have to say I was actually down with that. It could be pretty cool. The sort of prequel to Once Upon a Time or something.
We then have the title and a killer opening scene. SUPER DRAMATIC! And I loved it! Dark night, rain, two strangers on horses with a note demanding entrance!
It was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, it turns out that Wilhelm (Matt Damon), or Will as he is more often called, and Jacob (Heath Ledger), or Jake are ghost hunters/witch killers/ monster destroyers. Basically the 19th century version of Dean and Sam Winchester.
When I first saw this I was like what are you doing? I'm pretty sure that there were nothing like that. After watching I had to read up on them.
It turns out in real life that Jacob was actually the older brother. Their father did die when they were young and they had to take care of the family, eventually going to school for law. But later during the Romantic period, they began collecting folk tales, creating the classic literature we have today.
How did they go from that to:
This was one of the reasons I wasn't really into this "modern", twisted type of film, in fact a lot weren't. This film was actually ahead of its time as if it had come out a few years ago (instead of 10) it would have fit right in with Red Riding Hood (2011), Snow White and the Hunstman (2012), The Raven (2012), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), and Hansel & Gretal: Witchhunters (2013). I mean look at that poster! Isn't this something you would see today?
Eliminating Evil Since 1812 this is something you would definitely see today.
Anyways, back to the review. So the brothers are in Karlstadt to get rid of a witch menacing a mill. This is actually a pretty awesome scene as they fight the witch. I wish I could find a video. Oh well. This is kind of what it looked like:
So this witch comes at them and attacks. They try and destroy her, but she starts to control them and they start to fight with each other.
They fight, but Will manages to overcome it and kill the ghost. They get paid and all is well until we discover that the whole thing is fake. They hire two guys to play the monsters of the folk tales around the area, and then the Grimms come in and save the day by ridding the area of them.
Oh jeez.
You are taking folk historians and making them not only hunters but conmen.
Besides that, movie, I see what you're doing.
This is going to be one of those films where they show a fake thing in the beginning that is going to be the direction the film goes to in the end. You know like in An American Werewolf in London, where he growls at himself in a mirror, only to later do the same things as a werewolf.
I guess we will just have to wait to see how it turns out.
So while in reality Jacob and Will were the best of friends, in this Will is extremely cruel.
When he goes to give Jacob his half of the money, his has to throw in one last dig.
Will: Your half professor, or would you like it in beans?
Come on Will, he was just a little boy!!!. He was trying to help!!!! Let it go!
So while they are celebrating and having fun, we cut to the village Marbaden. A girl in a little red cape is looking through the forest. Now the forest is amazing! It is exquisitely beautiful and terrifying. It looks just like something out of an illustration in a book or a painting. The film was worth it for those moments alone.
Anyways, the little girl becomes fightened and tries to outrun whatever it is, but doesn't manage to and is taken.
So as the the guys are celebrating their sucess, Jacob starts to feel down. He was a scholar and is unhappy as to what he is doing now.
All I could think was why isn't he a scholar anymore? Did he lose his job? Was it because of the French? Time for a history lesson!
So in 1837 the two lost their posts at the university of Göttingen as they went against King Ernest Augustus I who dissolved parliament and demanded oaths of allegiance from all employees. But this film takes place earlier than that…In the early 19th century, Napoleon was seizing control of the world and had gained Western Germany. It is logical that Jacob, being rather outspoken and prone to not always thinking before he speaks, refused to do something similar to what happened at Göttingen, and lost his position.
Anyways, Will has gone on to be with some bar maids, while Jacob is scribbling in his book when a man charges in. It is the famous Italian torturer, Mercurio Cavaldi. He takes them to see French General Delatombe who is strangely played by the same actor who plays Elizabeth Swann's dad in Pirates of the Caribbean.
They have discovered that the Grimms are conmen, having captured their other workers, and tortured them And this movie spares nothing, showing the men upside down and covered in snails.
Yes, snails. I mean I hate snails and that would be torture to me, but is having snails on you really painful? Let's look it up! And I found nothing so I'm unsure why they would do that.
Anyways, Delatombe demands to know where the 10 missing girls are. Jacob and Will have no clue what is going on.
Apparently someone has stolen 10 girls from the village of Marbaden. The French General doesn't like that the German people are not listening and reverting back to their cultural ways. He sends the Grimms and their team to solve the mystery, or be killed. The Grimms heartily go.
Meanwhile, two siblings have decided to go looking for the missing girls, Hans and Greta (Hansel and Gretal). The forest steals Greta's scarf away from her, using it to eventually lure her away and capture her.
Hans races home to find his father.
Back in the villlage the town has gathered and are telling the Grimm brothers everything that has happened. Who has disappered and how they have disappered.
As they are talking, Hans rushes in and relates what has happened. The Grimms are eager to get started and ask for a guide. They recommend the "cursed one".
They go see the "cursed one", who turns out to be Angelika. Her father was a great woodsman, but died last year in the winter snow, although a body was never recovered. Her two sisters were the first to be taken, hence making her "cursed".
Angelika doesn't want to help, but the torturous Calvadi convinces her, by almost killing her with a knife. And then he starts hitting on her in the nastiest way. He's just ew!
So with all parties in accord they journey into the forbidden forest.
Now I just want to stop and say that I really like that while the film is predominately English (of course) there is quite a lot of dialogue spoken in French and German. I like when movies do that. Good going guys.
Take note Hollywood
Back to the forest. Will is totally in his role saying how he "feels" things and can "sense" things.
And Jacob is all, whatever Will.
But he loves the forest as it seems as if all those stories he's studied over the years are finally coming alive. In fact he believes that this particular story they are in is about King Childeric I's beautiful Queen. She was the fairest of all, and cared only about herself. When the black plague came, she built a tower high above the forest and the dying people. Unfortunately she still caught it, but tried to use black magic to overcome it and live forever. The spell worked, but instead of remaining beautiful, she aged.
It has been over 500 years and Jacob believes that not only is she in the tower, but she is behind it all.
Will on the other hand thinks that is the stupidest thing he has ever heard
and that someone else is trying to con the villagers.
They find the tower in the woods, of which Angelika tells them that it was destroyed, but mysteriously grew back.
Some of the first creepy things we see are all these ugly black bugs coming out of stuff. It's like The Mummy beetles or something. Then the trees keep moving all around. If that was me I'd want to get out of there asap.
So far we have had beetles, creepy trees, and now birds. Creepy birds right out of a Hitchcock scene.
They want to leave and are trying to go, but can't find the way as the trees have moved around.
While everyone is distracted, a wolf transforms into a person, the woodsman.
I guess a backwards wolfman?
And feeds one of the horses spiders. And guess which horse it is? Jacob's.
He leaves and the Grimm team regroups eager to leave the forest. Angelika grabs a toad and talks to it, licking its belly so it will point the way.
DISGUSTING!!!!
At this point I was looking at Anjelika and thought, she looks really familiar. Where have I seen her before….?
So I looked her up and it was LENA HEADEY. Man that woman, I CAN NEVER RECOGNIZE HER. She looks different in like every movie she is in. From The Jungle Book, to The Brothers Grimm, to 300, to Dredd, to Game of Thrones; man I never would have realized her characters were played by the same person unless you lined them up next to each other. And probably not even then. You're good Lena, real good.
So they make it back to the village. The Grimms are working as Cinderella's in girls clothes, by orders of Calavadi.
I told you he was one real sicko.
Meanwhile, a little girl hears a voice calling her. She gets up to see where it is coming from and it turns out to be one of the horses making noises. She goes over to calm it down. ALONE!
Now this part always bothered me. We see how SUPER protective the father was of his daughter, and she knew that pretty much every girl has been captured and taken away, why would you do this alone? I would have woken up my father and been like I hear something come with me.
Now this part is truly disgusting with the horse. All these spiders come and make a web that grabs the girl, and the horse swallows her. The third most horrifying scene in this film.
It is so disgusting and horrible, but also very well done. The Grimm brothers and friends follow them and her and the forest is truly horrifying.
When the tree kills the man, just ouch.
Calvaldi believes that the Grimm brothers killed his men with the help of Angelika, and they all head back to see the General. Now this is the second most horrifying scene when they torture them, trying to get them to confess. They kill a kitten! A KITTEN! Why would they kill a cute orange kitten in this?
I mean seriously, what were you thinking?
They convince the General they will stop it and head back to the village.
Now in this moment I realized how much I absolutely love Jacob Grimm.
Jacob is a total fanboy!
He loves folk and fairy tales, and has studied them for so long.
And now he is actually in the story!! He gets to be the hero of his favorite thing to read!!! How awesome is that!!! That is like every fan's dream. I know it was mine. There were so many places I always wanted to visit and so many tales I wanted to be the hero of. I AM JACOB.
Anyways so Jacob is really excited, but Will isn't. In fact Will wants to take off and leave this all behind.
And what's wrong with that? Doesn't everyone?
Anyways, so Jacob tries to convince Angelika to help him out.
Will Grimm: Ignore him. He wishes his whole life was something out of a book. And now he thinks he's in love.
Jacob Grimm: Shut up, Will!
Will Grimm: Angelika, do what your father wanted: leave the village now.
Angelika: No, Will. I'm gonna find my sisters.
Jacob Grimm: Will doesn't care about them. Will doesn't care about anything but himself!
Will Grimm: This isn't a fairy tale. They are not coming back!
Jacob Grimm: This is not your world, Will! [to Angelika] Angelika, you know, don't you? The story, it's happening to us now. We're living it. It's-it's alive, it's real, it's breathing. And we can give it a happy ending.
Angelika: Jake…
Jacob Grimm: Angelika, we'll find your sisters. All right? We'll bring them back.
Will Grimm: [getting angry] Bring back her sisters? [kicks Jacob] Bring them back? Bring them back with what? Magic beans?
Jacob Grimm: Why do you say that?
Will Grimm: Magic beans don't work! They don't bring people back to life! They did not then and they will not now! You go wait by the horses! Jacob, wait by the horses!
Will is such a jerk, I totally want to punch him in the face!
Will talks to Angelika, but Jacob will not be deterred and he runs off to the forest to try and save the girls.
But Will chases after him.
When Jacob punched Will in the face finally I was so happy. Yeah!!!!
So now the brothers are back to being a team, but while they are doing that, back in the village comes the most horrifying scene ever. This is not for the weak of heart. I swear, this scene scarred me FOR LIFE! FOR LIFE!!!!
So Sasha is going to get water from the well, when a bird falls in and…I can't do the scene justice, you're just going to have to watch it yourself.
That ball of goo coming to life
Her face, eyes, and mouth melting away
Then this black blob has her face and mouth and starts following her
Then it goes inside and grabs her and eats her!
And turns into a cookie and runs away!!!
I am SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! It gave me nightmares, it made it impossible for me to eat gingerbread for a few years. And I wasn't a little little kid when I saw this either. I was 13. This scene, it just
I have to move on now.
So the Grimms are in the forest. Will has helped get Jacob on top of the very high tower,
Don't fall.
On the roof Jacob notices the coffins they saw before are numbered 12, like a clock.
Down below Will spots something strange in the water. It's Sasha in a dress. He goes over to look at her, when the wolf comes.
He changes into a person and we see his face, seeing that it is Angelika's dad!!! He goes over to Sasha and places her into a coffin. On her feet form glass slippers, and he takes one drop of blood, giving it to a raven to give to the queen upstairs.
In the mirror she looks beautiful and young, but in reality she is an old skeleton.
She starts to charm Jacob, while below Will has to deal with her woodsman.
The whole breaking the mirror destroys the power of the witch reminds me of The Picture of Dorian Gray. The only way to kill Dorian was to destroy his picture, the only way to kill this witch, break the mirror.
They run back to the village with Sasha, Will being the one to kiss the frog to find out the way. When they get there, Sasha is prounounced dead as she isn't breathing, even though Will saw her walk to the coffin. While they are trying to figure things out who should show up but the French General and a mass of troops.
They declare that the Grimms are really behind it all, having killed their two workers who "confessed" it all.
They decide they are going to burn down the forest and the Grimm brothers. As they are tied up and ready to start the pyre, they toss in Jacob's book, his collection of tales. All I could think was
NOT THE BOOOOOOOOOOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anjelika has been able to free herself and she goes and saves the boys from being burnt to a crisp. Jacob tries to save his book, but Will drags him off as his life is more important.
NOT THE BOOKS!!!!
Now the Queen doesn't appreciate anyone trying to destroy her home and sends out some magic that not only stops the flames, but takes out a few guys as well.
When the get into the forrest they run into the wolfman/huntsman who reveals to Angelika that he is her father. He was dying in the forest when the Queen found him and saved him. He is in love with her and would do anything for her. Even sacrificing his own children.
Not only did he take his two youngest girls first, but he snags Angelika to replace Sasha and complete the circle of 12.
I know he's under a magic spell, but his OWN DAUGHTERS!!!
Will is totally unsure of what to do, while Jacob is in his element and has become even more attractive. Not only is set out on saving Angelika, but he also takes out the murderous General.
It must be nice for Jacob to be the hero for once, instead of Will.
I noticed something about the French, German, and Italians. Everyone who is not German is a crazy psychopath. We have the murderous, vain, evil Queen; the gloutton, tortourous, evil General; Calvadi the pervert and master of torture; and then the general's right hand man just as crazy and creepy. I think it was on purpose, trying to show the way that the Germans thought of the invaders, how stereotyped and evil they are. It works for the film.
Jacob climbs up the tower to kill the queen, but the knife he picks up is enchanted and he ends up stuck to the wall. I know that he had no other weapon on hand, but come on! She's an evil sorceress, anything in the room that belongs to her, chances are she can control them!!!
Will ends up following Jacob and when he gets there the Queen enchants the knives so that they have a duel to the death. (Just like I said they would)
I think that is a pretty jerk move to slip from the knife so you brother can kill you. I understand why you do it as it is the only way to free one of you and have him save the day, but it still is pretty mean.
As Jacob is trying to figure out what to do next, the Queen decides that dear old dad, is too old, and turns her attentions toward Will becoming her love slave. As she is turning Will, Jacob finally remembers the mirror and destroys it, killing the Queen.
So Jacob is the hero!
Jacob's Hero List
Save the Girls ✓
Defeat the Evil Queen ✓
Save the Day ✓
Now if only he had a plan on how to get out of a crumbling castle.
He makes it out okay, but it looks like he celebrated prematurely. The girls are still dead, or really frozen in eternal sleep.
Jacob is lost in what to do, but Calavadi, who has now become a "Grimm-y", tells him that in his home country there is a story of true love's kiss waking the girl. Jacob goes to kiss Angelika, but Calvadi warns him that if the love is not true than Angelika will die!
Jacob goes for the kiss and…
The spell is broken. All the girls come out and are alive and well.
Jacob goes over to Will, but he's not moving…
Jacob is heartbroken, but Calavadi reminds him that a kiss could wake him too. As Jacob goes, Will interupts him. Yep it turns out that Will the stinker is alive and fine. Angelika kisses him to "wake him up"; and then everyone returns to town. There the village throws a big party, happy to have everyone back.
Will Grimm: I've been thinking of an alternative career path.
Jacob Grimm: Will.
Will Grimm: One that uses all of our new expertise.
Will Grimm: Now, I haven't really sorted it yet…
Jacob Grimm: Will, Will, Will, listen. This is the real world. We're-we're men without a country, we're enemies of the state, and worst of all we haven't a single bean to our name.
Will Grimm: It's a good name, though, isn't it?
Jacob Grimm: It's a damn good name. Let's dance. Come on!
So how did I like it ten years later? I liked it. It made much more sense now that I was older and more used to this kind of film style. The CGI was pretty good for a 2000's film, and the backgrounds were just beautiful. The story was so-so, but cute and funny, except for the three deranged parts. I don't think this would be a movie I would purchase to add to my collection, but I definitely will re-watch it in the future.
For the previous post, go to It's Mrs. Archer. She's on a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)
For more Brothers Grimm, go to If the Shoe Fits: Why Cinderella is Actually Awesome
For more fairy tales, go to The Fans and the Furious
For more Horror-Comedies, go to I am the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
For more on Heath Ledger, go to You're Just Too Good to Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
For more on Matt Damon, go to A Horse's Tale: Chinese New Year
Posted in Fairy Tales, Horrorfest IV, Supernatural
Tagged 19th Century, 300 (2006), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), Amazon Instant watch, An American Werewolf in London, Angelika, Black Magic, Black Plague, Classic Literature, Com-Ror, Comedy, Conmen, Cookie, Dead Father, Dean Winchester, Dredd (2012), Elizabeth Swann, Fairy Tales, Fantasy, Folk Historians, Folk Tales, Forbidden Forest, French, Gail Carson Levine, Game of Thrones, Göttingen, General Delatombe, Ghost Hunter, Gingerbread, Greta, Grimm, Grimms' Complete Fairy Tales, Hans, Hansel & Gretal: Witchhunters (2013), Hansel and Gretal, Hate Matt Damon, Heath Ledger, historical fiction, History Teacher, Horror, Horror-Comedy, Illustration, Jacob Black, Jacob Grimm, Karlstadt, Kill the Monster, King Childeric I, King Ernest Augustus I, Law, Lena Headey, Little Red Riding Hood, Magic Beans, Magic Spell, Matt Damon, Mercurio Cavaldi, Modern Retellings, Napoleon, oaths of allegiance, Once Upon a Time, Pirates of the Caribbean, Red Riding Hood (2011), Retelling of Classic Literature, Romantic Period, Sam Winchester, Scarred for Life, Shannon Hale, Snails, Snow White and the Hunstman (2012), Spider, Supernatural, The "Cursed One", The Birds (1963), The Brother's Grimm, The Goose Girl, The Jungle Book (1994), The Mummy (1999), The Once Upon a Time TV Series, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Princess Test, The Raven (2012), The Rumplestilskin Problem, Vivian Vande Velde, Wilhelm Grimm, Witch Hunter, Witches
Considering Lily
9) Something That Has Inspired You
Something that has really inspired me is the book Consider Lily, by Anne Dayton and May Vanderbilt.
The story is of an Californian, Christian girl, Lily Traywick, who is the daughter of true fashionistas and owners of the humongous department store Traywicks. Lily didn't inherit this fashion gene, as she hardly knows what goes together, and also is bemoaning her lack of ever being on a real date. She starts writing a blog and becomes famous as her pseudonym "Fashion Victim"; starts a bet with one of her best friends Lily promising to get a makeover and follow everything to the letter, while her friend promises to come to three Sunday services; and sets out to try and win the man of her dreams. Of course nothing is perfect as the guy she originally likes is not her, the fame from her blog gets her a real job writing but her editor turns out to be horrible, the cute Christian boyfriend she lands ends up dumping her, and everything she has ever ranted gets spilled in the San Francisco Chronicle. What's girl to do?
Trust in the Lord.
And everything turns out alright.
Now I have loved this book because the main character is a lot like me. We have had trouble in not having a date either because the guy sees us as too much of a friend:
Doesn't want to date us once they find out we are a Christian and plan on waiting for sex along with our other beliefs:
Or wants the whole marriage and tons of kids thing instantly
We both had a love of sports, writing, and are fashion-challenged. Although she is worse than me.
We also had a similarity in dating, although her guy turned out alright in the end, while mine was a rotter. But ah that is fiction versus reality.
I loved the idea of her blogging, and this book really inspired me to start my own blog and share me thoughts on the internet with others who would be receptive.
I mean it's not that my friends or family don't like listening to me, but if you have been following you know that when I like something, I really like it and love to talk about it. Sometimes making it annoying for those who don't care about it as much as me, or who really don't care about it at all.
So having a blog is a great way of releasing all that, without making those close to me bored.
This book also taught me that it is probably best to keep the topics away from friends and family, just in case they ever read it or you were exposed. I try to not talk about them, or if I do I have given them all fake names so I can deny it was them I was talking about.
And it made me kind of want to be a writer too. Too bad I don't have a friend who can fix me up with a great job like she does in the book. But once again, that's fiction versus reality.
But I loved this book, and it inspired me to create this blog, of which I have had a lot of fun these last few years. Thank you Anne & May, as without you're lovely character Lily, janeaustenrunsmylife.wordpress.com would not exist.
To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to Musical Madness
For the previous post, go to GISHWHES Girl
For more on May Vanderbilt, go to Fashionably Postworthy
For more bookish posts, go to Going on a Treasure Hunt
Posted in 30 Day Challenge, Book Lover
Tagged An American Werewolf in London, Anne Dayton, Bet, Blog, Boys in Books Are Better, Cali Girl, California, Californian Girl, Christian, Consider Lily, Considering Lily, Fashion, Fashion Victim, Fiction versus Reality, Film Trivia, Friendzone, Friendzoned, God, Jack, janeaustenrunsmylife.wordpress.com, Kids, Lily Traywick, Marriage, May Vanderbilt, Pressure to Have Sex, Reality, San Francisco, Sex, Sports, Trust in the Lord, Writing
November 1, 2014 by Moreland
I Survived!
I survived, did you?
So this year's Horrorfest was very, very different. After last year's issues, I started writing this in May. This was the first time I have ever fully planned out a Horrorfest, as I had all the films picked and almost all finished by September.
So for the past two years, you have heard me say how I haven't been able to complete all of Universal's Classic Monster Films. Well I finally did it. Wooot!!!
Once I wrote that post, I was so excited. You see, I felt I really couldn't do a post on any werewolf films until I had covered the first one. I thought it was only right to start with the original. With that done, I could move onto any other werewolf film I desired. And I did. I decided to end Horrorfest with The Wolfman (2010). But then I decided to take it one step further. About every five episodes has a werewolf in it. It was a howling good time.
I also decided to do When a Stranger Calls, because of the phone harassment I had experienced. I took this one step further by doing all four of the Scream films, along with the Alfred Hitchcock film Dial "M" for Murder.
Speaking of Alfred Hitchcock, after hearing me complain for two years about trying to review one of his films, I have reviewed not one, not two, but three Alfred Hitchcock films. I was only planning on doing Under Capricorn, because I was planning on talking about Samson Flunky for St. Patrick's Day 2015. I ended up doing Shadow of a Doubt as it just entered my mind and Dial "M" for Murder. Still haven't gotten around to Psycho. Well, there's always next year.
So every year I mention wanting to do Vincent Price films; like House on Haunted Hill. The Tomb of Ligeia, The Pit and the Pendulum, etc. I didn't get around to any of those famous Vincent Price films, but I did do a film with him in it. I went over Laura (1944), which is when he is really young.
So I hope you all enjoyed it! I did. But then everyday to me is October.
So I usually put in a poll to see what you all you like, but I decided that I don't care. I liked them all. Instead I'm just going to list them below for some of you who might have missed them.
Even a Man Pure of Heart: The Wolf Man (1941)
It's Coming From Inside the House: When A Stranger Calls (2006)
In Their Proper Place: Metropolis (1927)
What's Your Favorite Scary Movie?: Scream (1996)
I'll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)
Let Them Fight: Godzilla (2014)
Unleash the Savage Instincts that Lie Hidden Within: I Was A Teenage Werewolf (1957)
What is This Thing?: Phantoms (1998)
Only A Woman: Queen of Outer Space (1958)
Happily Ever Aftermath: Grimm (2012)
It's Happening Again, Isn't It?: Scream 2 (1997)
You Think You Know Something, Don't You?: Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
You Will Die in Seven Days: The Ring (2002)
Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon: An American Werewolf in London (1981)
I Was Here For A Moment. And Then I Was Gone: The Lovely Bones (2009)
Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die
Tuesday the 17th: Psych (2009)
All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off: Scream 3 (2000)
Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf: Boy Meets World (1994)
But the Book, It Will Never Close…: Along Came a Spider (2001)
Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!: Vampires Suck (2010)
Murder is My Favorite Crime: Laura (1944)
Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)
You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat: Jaws (1975)
Don't F*** With the Original: Scre4m (2011)
Werewolves Roam Among Us: Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman (2000)
The Past of a Man: Under Capricorn (1949)
There's Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist: The Mist (2007)
What Have We Done to Each Other?: Gone Girl (2014)
The Perfect Murder: Dial "M" for Murder (1954)
Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)
Posted in Horrorfest III
Tagged 31 Days of Horror, Alfred Hitchcock, Along Came a Spider, Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman, An American Werewolf in London, B Horror Film, B Horror Films, Basement, Black, Boy Meets World, Classic Horror Film, Comic Relief, Curious, Dial M for Murder (1954), Exorcisms, Faith, Ghostface, Godzilla (2014), Gone Girl, Grimm (TV Series), Halloween, Holy Water, Horror, Horror Days, Horror Film, Horror Film Junkie, Horror Flick, Horror King, Horror Movie, Horror Movie Countdown, Horror Movie Slasher, Horror Movies, Horror Parody, Horror Story, Horror-Comedy, Horror-Mystery, Horror-Romance, Horror-SciFi, Horror-Suspense, Horrorfest, Horrorfest 2013, Horrorfest Hangover, Horrorfest II, Horrorfest III, House on Haunted Hill, How to Survive a Horror Film, I Was a Teenage Werewolf, Jason Voorhees, Jaws, Jaws (1975), Kenya, Laura (1944), May, Metropolis (1927), Modern Horror Films, Obsession With Horror Film, October, Phantoms (1998), Psych, Psycho (1960), Queen Of Outer Space, Satan, Scary Movie, Scary Movies, Scre4m, Scream (1996), Scream 2, Scream 3, September, Sequel, Shadow of a Doubt, St. Patrick's Day, Supernatural, Suspense Horror Drama, The Lovely Bones, The Mist, The Pit and the Pendulum, The Ring (2002), The Terminator, The Tomb of Ligeia, The Wolf Man (1941), The Wolfman (2010), Under Capricorn, Universal's Classic Monster Movie Collection, Vampires Suck!, Vincent Price, Watch Horror Films, Weapons, When a Stranger Calls
You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill. Don't f*** with the original!
If only Wes had followed his own advice.
I wish they hadn't messed with the original. This movie sucked.
Just plain horrible. You see this all happened because everyone wanted to make another film after Scream 3. Wes told them he wouldn't, unless the script was as good as the original film. Unfortunately, those dunderheads thought that meant they needed to do a horrible remake of the first amazing film.
For those of you just tuning in, this is the last of our Screamtastic Saturdays. Every Saturday this month I reviewed one of the Scream films. To read about them before you start this one, go to Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3.
Now as you can tell I didn't enjoy this one. As I watched this film I took a lot of notes on my feelings, A LOT. I'm just going to write them verbatim.
So let's get started on this travesty…
I don't wanna
So the film starts out with two girls (Lucy Hale and Shenae Grimes) hanging out discussing horror films and stuff. One of them has a facebook stalker. It turns out to be ghostface who stabs and kills them both.
Ghostface attacks!
Victims 1&2
It turns out that its not real. It is the opening scene from the film Stab 6 that two girls are watching. (Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell).
So that's the first problem of this film. It was so dripped in big name actors that it was impossible to get into. I mean the original had famous actors too, but this was tooooo jam packed. It's too much, far too much.
So Anna Paquin talks too much during the movie that Kristen Bell kills her.
I know Kristen Bell? Whatever.
Body #3
Yep, it's just another fakeout. It's Stab 7 that Julie from Friday Night Lights, I mean Jenny (Aimee Teagarden) and her friend Marnie are watching. After that Jenny goes upstairs to get something, and instead prank calls her friend. The "real" Ghostface comes in and kills Marnie, with Jenny right behind her.
Victim 4 & 5
And here we have another garage scene that is improbable. I'm telling you, any automatic garage door will not be able to kill someone. They design the mechanisms so that if there is something underneath them, it will cause them to be incapable of being squished.
And the other problem with this scene is the fact that having two fakeouts was too many. After the two psych-outs, I was not attached to the characters as I was just expecting them to die. It wasn't scary, mysterious, funny, or good. It was just bad. Bad, bad, bad. Plain ol' lazy writing. Come on Wes, you're better than this. This is reverting back not evolving.
So this film, and the first scene, take place 10 years after "The Woodsboro Massacre" or the amazing phenomenon known as Scream. Deputy Dewey is now Sheriff and married to Gale Weathers. Gale has stopped reporting and turned to writing fiction. Sidney has written a book on her experiences and is on tour. In fact, she has just arrived in Woodsboro. And Randy is dead.
Still not over that.
We then see the horrible Emma Roberts getting picked up for school. I hate Emma Roberts. She has no talent whatsoever. She always seems as if she is acting, so I never believe that she is whatever "character" she is playing. She's like a block of wood. I think she is secretly a robot as she never gives any emotion. None whatsoever. She's proof that just because one family member has talent, doesn't mean the rest do.
I bet she is the killer. She's all I hate Sidney. Blah, blah blah…
Anyways, Jill (Emma Roberts) is being picked up by her friends Kirby (Hayden Panettiere) and Olivia (Marielle Jaffe). Now who are these girls trying to fool? There is no way these girls are in high school they look sooo OLD.
I mean Roberts could pass for 19 at the youngest, but Panettiere and Jaffe? They are clearly are late 20s heading for their thirties. I'm looking it up now…let's see…Roberts was 20 at the time, Panettiere was 22, and Jaffee was also 22. Okay so they weren't as old as I thought they were, although they look it. I mean it's laughable how they think they could pass off people so old as high school students.
Jill and Olivia receive texts from Jenny and Marnie, even though they aren't close friends or anything…and the two girls are dead (although no one has discovers it yet. Speaking of which where were the parents during all of this? Why weren't they with their kid? How come it took someone so long to discover the body? Come on now!)
Wes also has a love affair in this film with fake jumps. It's like every five seconds. Seriously, just stop.
At the station Sheriff Dewey gets called on the scene and I notice something here Wes. Yes…yes…it appears that Dewey no longer suffers from a limp. I see, I see. Dewey gets to be limp free WHILE RANDY IS DEAD??!!
Never letting that one go. Moving on.
So Sheriff Dewey is called on the scene and he knows, he just knows
RIP Randy! Love you forever!!!!!!!
So as Sheriff Dewey is looking around, one of his deputies calls him Sheriff Riley. And I was like Whaaaaaaat????? Dewey has a last name?
Sorry. Back to the film.
So then we zoom to the high school were we have Hollywood's version of high school students. You know horribly unrealistic and clichéd to the farthest ranges of the imagination. Because in Hollywood:
Yep, enter super nerd who has a computer hooked up to his headphones so he can blog every moment of his life.
Really Wes? Have you been to a school and seen real nerds? They don't dress like that or do that? I mean when Ned's Declassified did the Nerd has camera/computer hooked up to their glasses they did it to spoof. They weren't trying to portray the nerd/online/blogger culture. You fail. Big time.
So then we enter douche boy, Jill's ex-boyfriend. I mean this is some serious deja vu as he ex is a total creep. I guess douche dating runs in the family.
So during homeroom, everyone's cellphones buzz with the news. I'm just like, why wasn't the school notified? When I was in high school we had two deaths. One was a car crash, the other an overdose and the teachers were all immediatey notified before the friends even found out. Same thing in college when a guy committed suicide, and another guy jumped off his balconey as he was high and had a bad trip. Although in college they sent emails and texts to the students, while in high school they told us.
At the bookstore, Sidney is reading an excerpt from her book when Sheriff Dewey comes marching in. He interrupts the signing as they are tracking the phone that placed the calls. They discover it in the back of Sidney's rental, along with bloody handprints.
Back at the station, Sheriff Dewey s dealing with a lot. Gale comes down as her old investigative spirit is still alive. She encounters a huge prob though. Dewey's deputy, Deputy Judy, has a mondo crush on Dewey. But Gale, she's not having any of that.
I love that Gale is still kickin' butt.
So Sheriff Dewey decides to put Sidney on 24-hour police protection, and all I can think is do you remember what happend last time? Yeah, it did not end well.
You know what almost everyone in this film has drunk the kool-aid. I know that Wes wanted to provide a wide range of "suspects" (totally obvious Jill and Culkin brother/crazy film nerd guy). But he makes everyone seem CRAZY!!! Jill's ex, the deputy, and that's not all. Let's add Sidney's publicist who delights in the murders because it will sell more books. She actually hopes more will occur. And then we have Sidney's aunt Kate. "Nobody cares about the fact that it was MY sister that was killed or what I'VE been going through.
So at this point in the film I'm starting to wonder what happened to Patrick Dempsey? AKA Detective Mark Kincaid. I guess he was too busy being a doctor or maid of honor. Let's see…Yes to doctor, no to maid of honor. He was trying to protect a bank teller and working with Decepticons. I wish they had given us a clue as why they didn't stay together. I liked Mark.
Later that evening, Sidney goes to talk to Jill and you know what..how come we have never heard of this aunt and niece before? I mean they have lived in the town their whole life and not once was concerned with Sidney? Like why didn't she stay with her aunt when he dad was out of town? This Wes, is why you do not try and remake a good thing. Just leave well enough alone.
So Sidney goes in to talk to Jill and sees her creep ex climbing in her window trying to talk to her. He's extra creepy and weird calling himself "the ninja". Who nicknames themselves? He is also a total control freak and won't listen to "no". What a jerk.
That night Kirby comes over and she and Jill are watching scary movies. Kirby gets a call from Ghostface that he's hiding in the closet. She decides to be stupid and looks around, finding no one. Like this guy KILLED people. Maybe you should CALL THE POLICE!!!!
The voice says that he never stated which closet he was in.
Now the house next door is Olivia's who is home alone (of course). The police offered to walk her to her home but she refused and like the stupid caricatures they are, they agreed. I just realized that policeman in the Scream films are pretty stupid. Dewey and Mark being the exception. I mean SHE RECIEVED A DEATH THREAT FROM GHOSTFACE EARLIER!!!! WHY IS NO ONE PROTECTING HER!!! So of course, Ghostface is in her closet and kills her.
Victim 6
And her friends just watch.
Seriously, they DO NOTHING BUT WATCH THEIR FRIEND GET SLICED APART. Scream! Call the police!!! Do something!!!!
Sid hears it and rushes over to help. Now Sid I love you, but couldn't you have brought a weapon with you? How do you expect to save the girl if you have nothing. I mean come on, grab a bat, frying pan, knife, SOMETHING!!!
Sid does manage to take him down as she rules! But when the cops come he's disappeared? Who is he Michael Myers? How does he move so fast? I mean they did the same thing in Scream 2.
Why weren't the cops able to find him? WHY DOES EVERYONE SUCK??? THIS MOVIE IS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE I TELL YOU!!! CRAVEN YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME AGAIN! IT'S LIKE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET ALL FREAKIN' OVER AGAIN!!!
Not happy, not happy at all
Gale seduces the two nerds to get them to help her. At first I thought it was funny, but the more I think about it, it's creepy. I know on Cougar Town you are always with younger men, but this is a 47 year old woman hitting on 17 year olds.
PR girl is the devil. I am sorry but the way she gushes about the killings, she needs help.
So after she leaves from visiting Sidney in the hospital (minor cut) she runs into Ghostface and is killed.
Victim #7
Now to be honest its her own fault as she really shouldn't be walking around at night by herself with a killer on the loose. And what's really stupid was that she was by her car. Just get in and drive away, run him over. Instead she tries to run. DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB. I mean come on, you were sitting inside the car! Why would you ever take off?
You know what I just realized. so far the killer has only murdered women. What's up with that? In the other films it was always equal. How come you're just killing women Wes? Huh? Why? You know what else? In every film we have couples who are murdered first. Scream– Steve and Casey, Scream 2– Boyfriend and Jada Pinket-Smith, & Scream 3– Cotton's girlfriend and Cotton. But in this one its only been girls. There's a formula!
But now, we only have females murdered. What happened Wes, did you have a woman break your heart so now you are releasing your anger on females?
And you know what's really depressing about this film is that it lost everything. It isn't a horror parody and a horror film at the same time; It's just sad and boring. You can tell from the beginning who the killers are (Jill & Charlie [Culkin brother super nerd]). It's just a recycled plot. A poorly recycled one too.
I mean each previous Scream brought something new and fresh.
Parody of the Horror film Genre while still being a great horror film
Twist ending with two killers, and one being the boyfriend.
Obsession with horror films and trying to create their own
Revenge because his mother left.
Parody of sequel films and horror sequels
Debates issue if whether horror films turn people into killers
Twist ending where you think it is the boyfriend murdering, but really ex's mom
Female serial killer
Parody of trilogy films
Twist ending with mother's secret early life + half brother
Single killer this time
All the survivors end in a couple-Dewey & Gale, Mark & Sid
Scre4m
Recycled plot
Pop culture of the day inserted but it feels more like an old man trying to be "hip" and failing than avant-garde.
They waited far too long to make this film. It should have come sooner.
So the next day Gale gets Sidney to come speak at the film club at the high school. In return for this, the two geek boys Charlie (the Culkin brother) and his friend blogger- headphones, Robbie, will help her out. Gale thinks the new Ghostface is copying the murders, but the nerd twins point out that it is a remake "as only remakes are being made these days." Tru dat. In 2011 alone there was Silent House, Gnomeo & Juliet, The Green Hornet, The Roommate, The Mechanic, Just Go With It, Unknown, Jane Eyre, Winnie the Pooh, Arthur, X-Men: First Class, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Fright Night, Conan the Barbarian, Real Steel, Straw Dogs, The Thing, Footloose, The Muppets, and The Sitter.
The kids tell Gale & Sidney that if the killer wants to make it intense and new he is going to record the murders. That's not new, it's been happening for quite so time now. Just another ripoff.
They decide the next place he will strike is the annual Stab-a-thon. Now you have a killer running about and you refuse to stop your party? Definteky Charlie. He's the killer. I mean come on, any smart person would be like nope, let's stop this so people don't die.
So a bunch of the kids dress up in Ghostface masks which is incredibly stupid. I mean you have a KILLER IN THE GHOSTFACE MASK? Why is everyone so STUPID.
Gale goes there just like in the first film and hooks up some "secret cameras". The cameras get covered up and Gale calls Dewey before she goes into take care of them. Now the smart thing would be to just wait as it is obvious that Ghostface is the one doing it, but whatever! I mean like even if you feel like you HAVE to go, why not be extra cautious and take a weapon! I mean, come on now people. She goes and is stabbed by the killer, however, she's Gale so she just has to go to hospital. That's cause Gale is awesome.
I just want this film to be over. It is that painful.
So I am liking nobody in this film. Like every character is crazy or stupid. The only exceptions are Gale, Sid, Dewey, and Aimee Teagarden's character as she tried to run away. Even though I think Emma Roberts is the killer I want her to get stabbed so I won't have to see her face again this film and hear her horrible acting voice.
So back at the house Sidney sees something outside. She goes to take a look at it instead of CALLING THE POLICE! Come on Sid, you're better than that.
So the cops outside Kate/Jill/Sid's residence are all comedic and talking about movie cops. They say that cops are what you never want to be as they are always "getting it" in films. Uh, not true! What about Dirty Harry? Ain't nobody taking down Clint Eastwood. Or what about Patrick Dempsey in Scream 3, I mean Wes you freakin' made that film. Witness? Harrison Ford always dominates! Sidney Poitier In the Heat of the Night or They Call Me, Mr. Tibbs! Mark Wahlberg in The Departed? Die Hard?
Besides why would the black cop be worried that since he is a cop he's going to killed? He's got bigger worries, he's a minority. He's going to get killed for that. The only horror films I've ever seen where the minority doesn't get killed first and makes it to the end would be Night of the Living Dead and Aliens vs. Predator.
They both get killed.
Victim #8 & 9
I was actually happy about that as they were annoying.
So someone in this film finally wises up, as Sid grabs a knife to protect her. Ghostface comes and attacks. Yawn! Knew it was going to happen. There is NOTHING original in this film, NOTHING!!!! Wes you have failed, fAILED FAILED FAILED!!!!!!!!!!!
So Kate also gets killed, she was stabbed through a door.
Victim #10
Yawn! Wes you already did that in Scream 2.
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
Is it over yet? Is the film done yet? Boo. There's still 30 mins left! UGH, UGH, BLEH! I would stop watching like a did with An American Werewolf in London, but I promised full reviews of every Scream film and I can't go back on that.
So Sidney escapes. She starts to head next door to protect Jill.
Next door we have Jill, Kirby, Robbie, & Charlie watching horror films.
So why don't any of these kids feel remorse for the murdered people? I mean in Scream the main characters weren't close to Steve and Casey (except Stu) so I could see where it didn't make the biggest impact. But Sid started feeling when it was Tatum, Dewey, Gale, etc. In Scream 2, the girl in the film class was sad about her friend that was murdered in the movie theater and everyone is heartbroken over Randy.
Then in Scream 3 Cotton's death, and while the characters didn't know the movie stars, they were still sad to see them killed. I mean Olivia was their friend as she was MURDERED!!! And you know how they react? Jill in her monotone voice is fine and doesn't say anything. Kirby goes to the Stab-a-thon in sa freakin' ghostface mask. A GHOSTFACE MASK! I mean your friend was MURDERED, MUREDERED! And you are wearing the thing that killer wore to murder to your friend. Something is wrong with you all.
And you know what, that is the problem with this film. In the other versions you believed the actors were the characters. You believed them. In this film every character except for the 3 survivors are so fake. They have any real emotions. They don't have any real reactions. They are like robots or something.
Why is everyone dumb in this movie? This movie is horrible and stupid! Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb! OMG! it's LIKE HE WANTS TO MAKE A SUCKY VERSION OF AN AMAZING FILM! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? WHY? WHY? WHO GAVE HIM THE MONEY. You all should be held accountable for this!!!!
Is this too crazy?
This is film is a HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT! BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the group is hanging out. Trevor comes over as he says Jill invited him. She tells them that is impossible as her phone has been missing. Jill goes upstairs and Trevor follows her. While he is gone, Robbie gets drunk and heads outside for another blog post. When he does this we have the only real scare in the film. He runs into a plant. That's it folks, so far the plant has been the most scariest and original thing in this travesty. And that's not even that original.
Back inside, Kirby is trying to seduce Charlie in the most horrible and painful way. It hurt to watch this scene. It was awkward, it was stupid, and it would never happen that way in real life.
You know what I'm wondering now? Where are the parents? Come on now, is Jill the only one in town with a parent? They are completely absent! At least in Scream they explaned it. Casey's parents were out having dinner. Mr. Prescott was going out of town. Mrs. Riley (Dewey & Tatum's mom) is a single parent. Stu's parents don't care and are out of town all the time. Mr. Loomis works late hours and has recently become a single parent. I get that, although they should have done a better job. Scream 2, in college parents aren't there., although I'm really surprised not one of them came down to check on their kids. Scream 3 all are adults. But these kids have no parents anywhere, nor do they give an explanation except for Olivia She mentions that her mom works late. Its like this whole film is in an alternate dimension where reality plays no part at all. I mean I know its a movie, but explain! Movie EXPLAIN!!!
So this film is far too predictable. You know Robbie who is hanging outside is going to be killed first, then Kirby, then Trevor, and then Charlie. It is soooo obvious.
This is horrible. Why am I watching this? Why?
So Robbie of course is killed, and too his shock as he thinks being gay will save him. I thought that was a weird thing to say. I mean, I can't think of horror films where a gay person always survive. I mean technically he's in the minority category and we all know that minorities hardly ever make it to the end of a horror film.
Before Kirby and Charlie could get it on, Trevor comes downstairs. He couldn't find Jill upstairs. He and Charlie head to the kitchen, leaving Kirby alone in the living room. Jill comes from downstairs, now how the heck was she there? (I mean obvs to me she's the killer, but why doesn't anyone else think that weird?) Sidney runs into the house to warn everyone. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU HAD CALLED THE POLICE FOR BACKUP. Kirby goes down to the basement, while Jill and Sidney go upstairs. Jill hides under the bed.
That is the worse place to hide. Beds and closets are always checked first.
Sidney comes down to the basement with Kirby and they see Charlie. He wants them to let him in, but Kirby is unsure whether or not she can trust him. Ghostface grabs him and ties him to a chair. Ghostface then calls Kirby.
The two are going to play a game. Kirby wins, Charlie is free.
The Voice: I hear you like horror movies, Kirby. But do you like them as much as him? Forget watching Stab, instead you get to live it.
Kirby Reed: No. No, no, no, no. He's the expert. It's not me.
The Voice: Warm up question: Jason's weapon?
Kirby Reed: Uh,it's a machete.
The Voice: There. You see? You do know the genre. Michael Myers?
Kirby Reed: Uh, butcher knife.
The Voice: Leatherface?
Kirby Reed: [crying] Chainsaw! Please!
The Voice: Just ask Sidney if you need some help. Freddy Krueger?
Kirby Reed: Razor-hands.
The Voice: Name the movie that started the slasher craze: Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left or Psycho?
Kirby Reed: Psycho.
The Voice: None of the above! Peeping Tom, 1960, directed by Michael Powell. First movie to ever put the audience in the killer's POV.
Kirby Reed: Wait. No, no, no. Please, just ask me one more question. Just one more.
The Voice: Alright, Kirby, then it's time for your last chance. Name the remake of the groundbreaking horror movie in which the vill…
Kirby Reed: Halloween, uh, Texas Chainsaw, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, Amityville Horror, uh, Last House on the Left, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, My Bloody Valentine, When A Stranger Calls, Prom Night, Black Christmas, House of Wax, The Fog, Piranha. It's one of those, right? Right?
[silence]
Kirby Reed: I got it right. I was fucking right. [goes outside; unties Charlie] Don't worry, Charlie. I f****** won. I won. He tried to beat me but I f****** won.
Charlie Walker:[holding knife] Kirby? This is is making a move! [stabs her] Four years of class together and you notice me now? You stupid b****! It's too late! Shhh, I know. It doesn't happen as fast as it does in the movies, I know.
[finishes stabbing her and drops her; runs away]
Yep Kirby is dead.
And Charlie was the killer. Totally obvious.
So deputy Judy comes into play as she discovers Kate's body and the dead cops. She heads over to Kirby's house to check on everyone. I still want to punch her crazy-obsessed with Dewey face.
Does that make me a bad person?
So Sidney is being chased by Charlie and manages to escape him heading for the door. But Sid, don't forget, except for Scream 3 there are always two killers. And as she heads for the door…boom Jill stabs her.
Now if Wes wanted to make this really unique. He should have down a group of female killers. It is rare, but does happen. Olivia, Kirby, and Jill. Or deputy Judy. She could be doing all these murders just so she could kill Gale and get Sheriff Dewey. Or he could have not tried making a remake. That would have been fantastic!.
So the two totally obvious killers start revealing the reasoning behind it. Jill was always jealous of her cousin's fame. And as Emma Roberts…I mean Jill has no talent, she figures this is the quickest way to make her famous.
Jill Roberts: My friends? What world are you living in? I don't need friends. I need fans. Don't you get it? This has never been about killing you? It's about becoming you. I mean, for f***'s sake, my own mother had to die, no great loss there, so I could stay true to the original. That's sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane. You had your 15 minutes, now I want mine! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work? Look around. We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don't have to achieve anything. You just gotta have f***** up-s*** happen to you. So you have to die, Sid. Those are the rules. New movie, new franchise. There's only room for one lead, and let's face it, your ingenue days, they're over.
Charlie was her new boyfriend that was helping her do this. They plan to have Trevor take the fall for it, stabbing themselves, but shooting him to make it look like "self-defense". Charlie is happy that the "geek will get the girl", but Jill tells him sorry and kills him.
You know what I just realized. They never clean the knife. Ever. With all those kids having sex and the amount of diseases that abound, now all I can think is how they've been spreading so much to people. They've all probably got Chlamydia or something.
Also WHERE ARE THE POLICE!!!??? I mean deputy Judy was right next door!!!
So then Jill kills Trevor and Sidney.
Victim #14 &15
After that she starts taking care of the evidence. Planting the knife/gun. Beating /mutilating herself. Even ripping hair out and putting it in Trevor's hand.
When the police finally come, they discover her and name her the sole survivor. They cart her off to the hospital. In the hospital Dewey visit Jill, who is all smiles. I have to say nobody is freaked out by the fact she doesn't care that her best friends, mother, and cousin have all been brutally murdered???!!! Someone ship her off to the psycho ward. That girl is crazy!
Jill tells Dewey that maybe she and Gale can write about the murders as they have matching wounds. Dewey tells her that Sidney might be able to also help, as she is going to recover.
Yep, looks like we have Dial "M" for Murder all over again.
"Margot Mary Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?
Mark Halliday: Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.
Tony Wendice: Oh? Why not?
Mark Halliday: Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don't… always."
You can't plan everything sweetheart.
So Jill gets out of her bed and charges down to ICU to get to Sidney.
That is impossible. There is no way she would be able to get across the hospital as they are jam packed with people. Especially ICU. Most ICU units actually are protected by some kind of card swipe or button so that only certain people can go in. There's no way she'd be able to get to Sidney.
Dewey goes to see Gale, and as he mentions Jill's comments they both realize that the information about her stabs were not released to the public. There is no way she could have known where Gale was stabbed, unless she had done it herself.
Dewey runs down to get to Sidney, and sees Jill trying to kill her. Sidney is doing a great job as she is Awesome! Sid you rule! Jill does have an upper hand as she tries to hurt Sidney in her stab wounds. Dewey is trying to help, but gets knocked out by a bedpan. Gale and Deputy Judy also come in, but Jill stole Dewey's gun and threatens killing Dewey to get Deputy Judy's gun. After the gun is passed, she shoots Deputy Judy in the chest.
Jill is threatening all and planning on killing them but this is very stupid. She already framed Trevor and gave a statement. How is she going to explain the other dead bodies? Who can she pin the murder of Sidney, Gale, Deputy Judy, and Sheriff Dewey on. Not going to work.
Jill plans in killing Gale next, as Sidney's wounds have reopened and she seems to be the lesser threat. She is about to when Sidney shocks her with the defibrillator.
Jill tries one last time, but Sid shoots her.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Sid is awesome!! Best scene in the whole film. Yeah don't mess with the original baby!!!! Yeah!!! But its not over. What about deputy Judy
She's alive! She was wearing a bulletproof vest. In the end the body count ends at 15.
And Wes I only have one thing to say to you
So this ends our Screamtastic Saturdays kind of on a bad note, but don't blame me. I didn't make this film. Wes did.
To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart
For the previous post, go to You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat
For more on the Scream series, go to All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off
For more modern remakes, go to Keep Clear of the Moor. Beware the Moon
For more serial killers, go to But the Book, It Will Never Close…
For more slasher films, go to It's Happening Again, Isn't It?
For more on Wes Craven, go to What's Your Favorite Scary Movie?
Tagged 24 hour Police Protection, Agent Phil Coulson, Aimee Teagarden, Aladdin, Aliens vs. Predator, Amityville Horror (2005), An American Werewolf in London, Anna Paquin, Arthur (2011), Aunt Kate, Avant-Garde, Bank Teller, Bat, Bat Trip, Batman, Bedpan, Beyonce, Black Christmas (2006), Block of Wood, Blog, Blog Post, Bloody Handprints, Bobby Singer, Bones (TV Show), Boohoo, Book, Bookstore, Bored, Boring, Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis, Bulletproof Vest, Butcher Knife, Call the Cops, Camera, Car Crash, Casey, Cell Phone, Cellphone, Certified Creepo, Chainsaw, Charlie, Chest, Chlamydia, Climbing in the Window, Clint Eastwood, College, Committed Suicide, Computer, Computer Hooked Up to Glasses, Conan the Barbarian (2011), Control Freak, Copy Killers, Copycat Murder, Cotton Weary, Cougar Town, Couples, Courtney Cox, Courtney Cox-Arquette, Creep, Creeper, David Arquette, David Boreanaz, Dawn of the Dead (2004), Death, Death Threat, Decepticons, Deja Vu, Depressing, Deputy Dewey, Deputy Judy, Devil, Dewey Riley, Dial M for Murder (1954), Die Hard, Dirty Harry, Disease, Diseases, Doctor, Don't Mess With a Good Thing, Don't Mess With the Original, Douche, Douche Bag, Drew Barrymore, Drunk, Dumb, Dumb Storyline, Dunderheads, Email, Emma Roberts, Emotionless, Evil, Evolve, Ex-Boyfriend, Facebook, Facebook Stalker, Fakeout, Female Serial Killer, Fills a Cliché, Film Cliché, Film Club, Footloose (2011), Freddy Kreuger, Friday Night Lights, Friday the 13th (2009), Fright Night (2011), Frying Pan, Funny, Gale Weathers, Game of Thrones, Garage, Garage Door, Garage Scene, Gay, Ghostface, Gnomeo & Juliet, Good, Grad School, Grey's Anatomy, Halloween (1978), Handprints, Harrison Ford, Hayden Panettiere, Hermione Granger, Hiding in the Closet, High, High School, Hollywood, Homeroom, Horror Film, Horror Film Junkie, Horror Movie Slasher, Horror Parody, Hospital, House of Wax (2005), ICU, In the Heat of the Night, Jada Pinket-Smith, Jane Eyre (2011), Jason Voorhees, Jenny, Jerk, Jill, Jim Beaver, Joseph Cotten, Joseph Cotton, Julie Taylor, Jumped off a Balconey, Just Go With It, Kill, Killed Women, Killer, Kirby, Knife, Kristen Bell, Last House on the Left (1972), Last House on the Left (2009), Lazy, Leatherface, Limp, Lost Everything, Love Affair, Lucy Hale, Macaulay Culkin, Machete, Made of Honor, Maid of Honor, Marielle Jaffe, Mark Kincaid, Mark Wahlberg, Marnie, Michael Myers, Michael Powell, Modern Remake, Modern Teenage Remake, Monotone, Movie Marathon, Movie trilogy, Mr. Loomis, Mr. Prescott, Mrs. Riley, Murder, Murdered, Murdered Women, Murderer, My Bloody Valentine (2009), Mysterious, Ned's Declassified, Nerd, Nerds, Neve Campbell, Never Been Kissed, New franchise, New movie, Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Ninja, No Emotion, No Talent, Nostalgia Critic, Obsession With Horror Film, Old, Olivia, On Tour, Over YOu, Overdose, Pass Off Old Person as High School Student, Patrick Dempsey, Peeping Tom (1960), Pepper Potts, Piranha (2010), Pop Culture, PR, Prank Call, Prom Night (2008), Psych, Psycho (1960), Psycho Ward, Publicist, Randy, Randy Noooooo!, Razor-hands, Real Steel, Record Murders, Recycled Plot, Remake, Rental Car, Reporter, Revert, Ripoff, Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011), Robbie, Robot, Rory Culkin, Rory Gilmore, Scare Jumps, Scary, Scary Movies, School, Scre4m, Scream, Scream (1996), Scream 2, Scream 3, Scream 4, Screamtastic Saturdays, Script, Secret Cameras, Seduce, Seduces, Serial Killer, Sex, Shenae Grimes, Sheriff Dewey, Sheriff Riley, Shoot, Shot, Sidney Poitier, Sidney Prescott, Slasher Flick, Slasher Genre, Sliced, Sole Survivor, Spoof, Stab, Stab 6, Stab 7, Stab Wound, Stab-a-thon, Stabbed, Stalker, Steve, Straw Dogs, Stu, Stupid, Stupid Storyline, Sucky, Sucky Films, Sucky Remakes, Supernatural, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), Texts, The Big Bang Theory, The Departed, The Fog (2005), The Green Hornet, The Hills Have Eyes (2006), The Mechanic (2011), The Muppets, The Roommate, The Sitter, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Thing (2011), The Woodsboro Massacre, There's a Formula, They Call Me Mr. Tibbs!, Tony Stark, Tracking the Phone, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Travesty, Twist Ending, Unknown, Unrealistic, Verbal Beatdown, Verbatim, Watch Horror Films, Weapon, Wes Craven, When a Stranger Calls, Where are the Parents?, Window, Winnie the Pooh (2011), Witness, Women, Woodsboro, Woodsboro Murder, Writer, Writes Fiction, X-Men: First Class


The winter months can be brutal in north east Ohio, so don't be left out in the cold. BTU Comfort Solutions, Inc. will insure your household a comfortable and consistent temperature throughout the season no matter the time of day, or day of the week. And because our factory trained technicians stock their vans with the proper tools, parts and supplies you won't have to wait around long to be comfortable again.


text:
Q: Does SQL Server 2012 have a function or other way to convert a varchar column that contains ASCII to plain text? I've inherited a database table that has an nvarchar(MAX) column containing ASCII numbers.  I need to convert and replace them with plain text.  Is this possible using an SQL function?
From:

034 067 111 110 118 101 114 116 032 077 101 044 032 068 097 114 110 032 105 116 033 033 034

To:

"Convert Me, Darn it!!"

Thanks all

A: Test Data
DECLARE @TABLE TABLE (ASCII_Col VARCHAR(1000))
INSERT INTO @TABLE VALUES
('034 067 111 110 118 101 114 116 032 077 101 044 032 068 097 114 110 032 105 116 033 033 034')

Query
;WITH CTE AS(
SELECT CHAR(Split.a.value('.', 'VARCHAR(100)')) Char_Vals
FROM   (SELECT
              Cast ('<M>' + Replace(ASCII_Col, ' ', '</M><M>') + '</M>' AS XML) AS Data
        FROM   @Table) AS A
       CROSS APPLY Data.nodes ('/M') AS Split(a)
   )
SELECT (SELECT  '' + Char_Vals
         FROM CTE
         FOR XML PATH(''),TYPE).value('.','NVARCHAR(MAX)')

Result
"Convert Me, Darn it!!"

A: A solution (without split function):
declare @input nvarchar(max);
declare @result nvarchar(max);

select @result = '';
select @input = '034 067 111 110 118 101 114 116 032 077 101 044 032 068 097 114 110 032 105 116 033 033 034';
--------------------------------
declare @index int;
declare @len int;
declare @char char(1);
declare @charNum varchar(8);

set @charNum = '';
set @index = 1;
set @len= LEN(@input);

WHILE @index <= @len + 1
BEGIN
    set @char = SUBSTRING(@input, @index, 1);
    if (@char = ' ') begin
        set @result = @result + char(@charNum);
        set @charNum = '';
    end else begin
        set @charNum = @charNum + @char;
    end;

    set @index = @index + 1;
END

select @result as [Output];

..and the result is:
OUTPUT:
----------------------
"Convert Me, Darn it!!"

A: Another way to skin the cat:
SELECT CAST(x AS nvarchar(max))
FROM @TABLE
CROSS APPLY (
  SELECT TOP(1+LEN(ASCII_Col)/4)
    CHAR(SUBSTRING(ASCII_Col,ROW_NUMBER() OVER(ORDER BY (SELECT 1))*4-3,3))
  FROM master.dbo.spt_values
  FOR XML PATH(''),TYPE
) t(x)

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


The games is inspired by Infiniminer, Dwarf Fortress and Dungeon Keeper, created by Markus Persson, the founder of Mojang AB. The game involves players creating and destroying various types of blocks in a three dimensional environment.
The player takes an avatar that can destroy or create blocks, forming fantastic structures, creations and artwork across the various multiplayer servers in multiple game modes. Minecraft was the fastest growing online game in 2012.
Players can destroy various types of blocks in a three dimensional environment. Inspired by Infiniminer, Dwarf Fortress and Dungeon Keeper. Players can form fantastic structures, creations and artwork acrosss various multiplayer servers in multiple game modes. Minecraft promotes essential creative play building with virtual cubes. Due to it's popularity and public outcry, this game has been "ported" to LEGO form, for even more enjoyment!


Learn more about Beyond Arrest, Re-thinking Systematic Oppression here.
At Penn, we believe that students benefit from seeing the world through a variety of perspectives and from charting a course that matches their unique academic and career goals.
Click here for the full list of Majors & Minors.
Penn's commitment to the written word goes far beyond the classroom. Kelly Writers House is a unique programming space that is home to over 150 public programs and projects every semester. These unique opportunities include events such as live poetry, readings, film screenings, lectures, dinners, art exhibits, musical performances, workshops, and so much more. Additionally, the creative writing program at Penn highlights and supports student work both from students who are enrolled as Creative Writing majors or minors and students who are taking the courses for fun.
Learn more about Kelly Writers House and creative writing at Penn.


If this picture came with sound, you would hear a migraine-inducing drilling. The folks who came to install the pita oven were trying to cut through the ceiling in the middle of the day. We had to cut food production short for the day. Uggghh.
But it means we're one step closer to baking our own pita!
We're dreaming about making the best pita in the whole region. A whole wheat, chewy, fluffy bread that doesn't fall apart.


Set within the stunning lakes at Lower Mill Estate, Butterscotch Design were asked to create a welcoming interior concept for the head office that reflects the values & styling of the Habitat First Group brand.
The interior was stripped back to let the building reveal itself, accentuating the stunning oak truss and natural Cotswold stone wall. Your eye is drawn up the rustic steel and glass staircase to the bespoke oak beam chandelier. The office furniture inspires elements of the past and compliments the building with its vintage industrial look.
A large graphic panel behind the reception brings life to the office, taking the companies brand values of bringing nature and families together in harmony. Each petal represents a family, a moment, a memory, painted in a picture. Together they embody what Habitat First are about.
Each petal represents a family, a moment, a memory, painted in a picture. Together they embody what Habitat First are about.


text:
#pragma once

#include <QString>
#include <QObject>
#include <trikHal/trikHalDeclSpec.h>

namespace trikKernel {
class TimeVal;
}

namespace trikHal {

/// IIO file abstraction.
class TRIKHAL_EXPORT IIOFileInterface : public QObject
{
	Q_OBJECT

public:
	/// Opens IIO file and starts listening for events.
	virtual bool open() = 0;

	/// Closes IIO file and stops listening for events.
	virtual bool close() = 0;

	/// Returns name of an event file.
	virtual QString fileName() const = 0;

	/// Returns true if a file is opened.
	virtual bool isOpened() const = 0;

signals:
	void newData(QVector<int>, const trikKernel::TimeVal &eventTime);
};
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Die Liste der Biografien führt alle Personen auf, die in der deutschsprachigen Wikipedia einen Artikel haben. Dieses ist eine Teilliste mit 22 Einträgen von Personen, deren Namen mit den Buchstaben "Harth" beginnt.

Harth

 Harth, Alfred (* 1949), deutscher Musiker, Komponist und Multimedia-Künstler
 Harth, Dietrich (* 1934), deutscher Kulturwissenschaftler
 Harth, Friedrich (1880–1936), deutscher Segelflugpionier
 Harth, Friedrich (1889–1975), deutscher Landtagsabgeordneter (NSDAP) im Volksstaat Hessen
 Harth, Harald, österreichischer Film-, Fernseh- und Theaterschauspieler
 Harth, Jean Christoph (1882–1956), deutscher Politiker (SPD), MdL
 Harth, Leon (* 1988), armenischer Boxsportler
 Harth, Lorenz (1913–2002), deutscher Politiker (NPD), MdL
 Harth, Philipp (1885–1968), deutscher Bildhauer
 Harth-Bedoya, Miguel (* 1968), peruanischer Dirigent

Hartha
 Harthaus, Christel, deutsche Schauspielerin
 Harthaus, Fred (1908–1991), deutscher Fußballspieler und Fußballtrainer

Harthe
 Härthe, Dieter (* 1948), deutscher Wirtschaftsfunktionär
 Harthern, Ernst (1884–1969), deutscher Journalist, Schriftsteller und Übersetzer
 Hartherz, Florian (* 1993), deutscher Fußballspieler
 Hartherz, Peter (1940–2018), deutscher Pädagoge, Verwaltungsbeamter und Politiker (SPD), MdL

Harthi
 Harthi, Amjad al- (* 1994), omanischer Fußballspieler
 Harthi, Barakat-al (* 1988), omanischer Sprinter
 Harthi, Mohsin al (* 1976), saudi-arabischer Fußballspieler
 Harthi, Saad al- (* 1984), saudi-arabischer Fußballspieler

Hartho
 Harthoorn, Geradine Wilhelmine Christine (1913–2000), niederländisch-britische Autorin

Harthu
 Harthun-Kindl, Adelheid (* 1939), deutsche Richterin und Gerichtspräsidentin

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text:
Keyword Search of mems
Rackham Seminars
The Medieval Lunch Series
Proseminar
The Premodern Colloquium
Diane Owen Hughes Scholars
Linda Gregerson to present Henry Russel Lecture
"RayFest" Honors Professor Ray Van Dam
Leap Year: A Glitch in Time
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How Islam Became a Matter of State
Sharon Herbert named Distinguished University Professor
Helmut Puff Named Director of Eisenberg Institute of Historical Studies
Peggy McCracken Appointed to Lead U-M Institute for the Humanities
The Impostor Sea: A Report from the Archives
Sacred Scriptures in a Secular Society: Hand-copying Buddhist Texts
Medieval-Early Modern Theme for 2018-19 Frankel Fellows
Animals in Late Antiquity
Premodern Japanese Crests in Play at Ann Arbor Downtown Library
Alum Alison de Simone Wins Ruth Solie Prize for Outstanding Article on British Music
New Gifts to Support Medieval Art Scholarship
Alice Sullivan and Theresa Tinkle Featured in Latest Speculum
Our own internationally acclaimed poet and Renaissance literature scholar will lecture on temporality in the lyric poem on Thursday, March 9.
The Henry Russel Lectureship is considered U-M's highest honor for senior members of active faculty. It is awarded annually to faculty members with exceptional achievements in research, scholarship or creative endeavors, as well as an outstanding record of teaching, mentoring and service.
Gregerson's lecture, titled "Temporality in the Lyric Poem," will start at 5 p.m. in the Rackham Amphitheatre. A reception will take place after her lecture.
Gregerson, Caroline Walker Bynum Distinguished University Professor of English and professor of English language and literature, LSA, is known for her innovative poetry, which draws on classical literature, science, history and the visual arts.
She teaches an array of courses in Renaissance literature, contemporary poetry and poetic form, and creative writing at both the graduate and undergraduate levels.
Gregerson directed U-M's Master of Fine Arts program in creative writing from 1997 to 2000 and again from 2015 to 2016.
In her upcoming Henry Russel Lecture, Gregerson said she will discuss why poetry is particularly good at making people aware of time, especially of the "ephemeral present tense."
To address this topic, she said she will highlight in her lecture passages from St. Augustine's Confessions as well as John Milton's sonnet "On His Blindness."
"I am going to talk about how the poem is made and why it is that poetry is such a fit instrument for taking time apart and putting it back together before our eyes," Gregerson said.
Gregerson later reflected that poetry allows her to pay more attention in her own life.
"I am keenly aware of the brevity of my own life and the life around me and also keenly aware how much of it is lost on me because I am not paying attention, I'm distracted, I'm sloppy in my thinking," she said. "I want to do what I can to puncture that obliviousness. I want to have paid attention in the brief time I'm allotted, and for me writing poems and thinking about poems is a primary way of doing that."
"To my mind," she added, "this is simply one version of what we're all trying to do here – scientists, engineers, historians, musicians – we're trying to attend with more precision, more alertness, more compassion to the world around us. It's why we gather together in universities and why it's such an enormous privilege to do so, precious and worth protecting."
Gregerson earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from Oberlin College, a Master of Arts degree in English from Northwestern University, a Master of Fine Arts from the University of Iowa Writers' Workshop and a Ph.D. from Stanford University.
She was assistant poetry editor at The Atlantic Monthly and taught at Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology before joining U-M's faculty in 1987.
Gregerson, who regularly contributes to major publications such as The Best American Poetry and The New Yorker, was named an Academy of American Poets chancellor in 2016 and was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences in 2014.
She is the author of six books of poetry and two books of criticism, and co-edited a collection of scholarly essays.
Among her awards and recognitions, Gregerson has received four Pushcart Prizes, the Spenser Society's Isabel MacCaffrey Award, an Academy Award in literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, the Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award, the Levinson Prize from Poetry Magazine and U-M's Distinguished Faculty Achievement Award.
Room 1029 Tisch Hall
435 S. State St.
telf@umich.edu

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