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Tag Archives: Stiles' dad
January 11, 2014 · 6:47 pm
Stiles-ception – A (Ridiculously Late) Recap of Teen Wolf's Season 3B Premiere "Anchors"
"Is this real? Am I real? Is this even a real door? If I repeatedly bang my head on it, will I figure it out? Ouch . . . ouch . . . ouch, maybe not."
What's up, my fellow Werebangers! I missed you!
How was your New Years? Did you dance?
Meet any new and interesting people?
Die in a bath tub, and come back to life, only to realize you've somehow forgotten how to read?
(Don't worry if this happens to be the case. Most of this blog post will be pictures anyway . . . :))
Wherever you've been, whatever you've done, worry not! Your Werebanger Family welcomes you back with open arms.
So, lets get on with this recap, shall we?
[As always, a big werewolfy round of applause for my good pal Andre, who in addition to being the Lean Mean Screencapping Machine who generously provided us with all the awesome pictures you see here, also happens to be a pretty kickass person, in general.]
Sleeping with Stiles . . .
Teen Wolf . . . it's no longer just a show you watch to see hot guys take their shirts off, flex their muscles, and get all sweaty with one another . . .
(Though that, in and of itself, is a pretty good reason to watch the show.)
This is show is educational! You learn stuff here! For example, this week on Teen Wolf, I learned about the Tibetan Buddhist concept of "Bardo,"which from what I gather, is basically a cross between Purgatory, and whatever the f*&k happened on the last season of Lost . . .
"So you mean to tell me all this time, we thought we were battling Baddies, Bionic Bears, and Black Smoke in a jungle, we were really just sitting around in this lame old church?"
Also, I learned from Stiles all the nifty tricks you can use to tell that your dreaming, while you are actually dreaming . . . you know, for all those times you find yourself possibly-but-maybe-not asleep, and don't have on hand Leonardo DiCaprio's Magical Spinning Top from Inception . . .
We start the episode off in bed with Stiles, which is as good a place as any to start off a series, AM I RIGHT ladies (and men)?
We know immediately that Stiles is dreaming, by the way he's sweating, rapidly blinking his eyes, moaning amorously, curling his toes under his blanket, and thrusting upward, while he grabs on to his sheets for dear life . . .
Unfortunately for us fans, it ended up not being one of THOSE kind of dreams. But we totally see where you were going with this, Jeff Davis, you naughty minx, you . . .
At the start of the "Dream," Stiles comes out of the closet . . . er . . . I mean the locker . . .
"I feel so liberated!"
Then, Stiles takes a long slow glance in the mirror to remind fans how buff he's gotten during the hiatus . . .
"Someone's been sneaking Wheaties into my Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs . . ."
Stiles hears a sound, so he goes to investigate. This is what he finds . . .
"Don't you just hate it when an Evil Tree crashes through your classroom, and then tries to eat you?"
I know I do!
Then, Stiles "wakes up" only to learn that he's slept through his entire courtship with Lydia! Apparently, they've gone from "heat of the moment" first kiss partners, to bed buddies, who sleep together on school nights and massage one other's arms after nightmares, in the span of less than two episodes . . .
"Is it Season 5, already?"
This is the moment I usually realize that I'm dreaming . . . when things are simply too good to be true. . .
Stiles breaks the fourth wall at this point in the narrative, leading us to believe that he realizes he's still dreaming as well . . .
"I can't really be this much of a pimp, yet . . . CAN I?"
And while most hot blooded teens would take advantage of their Super Awesome Dream, by say . . . taking this unique opportunity to do away with a certain Pesky Virginity Problem . . .
Stiles, being the tragic hero we know him to be, decides instead to go and CLOSE THE DOOR . . .
This concept of THE DOOR, is one that presents itself throughout the episode. Throughout the hour, we see Stiles and Allison, in their dreamlike states opening doors that they shouldn't, doors that release evil spirits, funky trees, and b*tchy dead aunts into the ether. We learned last season from Deaton, that "dying and returning to life in a bathtub" opened a seemingly figurative, but possibly literal, door in the characters' minds, through which some pretty nasty Big Bads can pass through, if they aren't careful.
Notice how adamant Dream Lydia was against Stiles closing the door to his room / mind. This reminded me a bit of something Leonardo DiCaprio's character in Inception said about dream characters becoming violent toward anyone or anything that might disrupt the dream. Perhaps, Dream Lydia didn't want Stiles to close the door in his dream, because if he did, it would end his Bardo, thereby closing off the possibility of the evil demons connected to the Evil Tree / Nemeton breaking free into the Real World.
That would make Dream Lydia kind of evil. So maybe it was a good thing Stiles didn't have sex with her . . .
Then again, Stiles never actually closes the door. Instead he WALKS THROUGH IT, thereby exposing himself, once again to the Nemeton, and the horrors of sleep paralysis . . . which, some might say, was a worse result than if he simply ignored the door and started humping his lady love. . .
"DAMMIT, YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I COULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID!"
We then see Stiles wake up, go to school and tell Scott all about his theories about waking dreams, and how his, in particular, might be related to the Sacrifice to the Nemeton that the three of them made last season. Scott grunts, stares at his friend dumbfounded, and has absolutely nothing whatsoever intelligent or helpful to say, as per usual. Everyone in the class pretends the two boys don't exist, despite the fact that they are both rather attractive, have great bodies, and are talking very loudly about very weird sh*t . . . also as per usual. Everything seems normal enough. But Stiles still feels like something is off . . .
And that's when he wakes up again . . . for real this time . . . maybe . . .
In a sense, Stiles' intense self awareness and extensive knowledge of dream states functions as both a blessing and a curse for him. On one hand, Stiles is more likely than any other character on the show to instinctively realize he is dreaming. Therefore, he would theoretically have the easiest time lucidly navigating his own dream world, and, when necessary, waking himself up. On the other hand, Stiles' innate ability to detect dreamlike things in everyday occurrences will undoubtedly cast a pall of strangeness on every aspect of his life, leaving him perpetually uncertain as to whether he is ALWAYS AWAKE or ALWAYS ASLEEP.
This has led some to speculate that Stiles may already be dead (either from the tub, or from the car accident he experienced later that same episode), and that the entire second half of the season is taking place in his (unconscious?) (comatose?) (purgatoried?) mind . . .
In short, the cold open to Season 3B was about twenty times more meta than anything we've seen on the show, thus far. But I liked it. Unlike most dream sequences in teen shows, which bash you on the head with their symbolism (Common Example 1: A precocious student is afraid of bombing her SATs. So, she has a dream that she bombs her SATs, and ends up a homeless bum. Common Example 2: A woman fears her Bad Boy boyfriend lacks ambition. So she has a dream that she marries him, and ends up living in a dirty trailer park with 10 kids, married to her Bad Boy boyfriend, who is now a fat, burping, unemployed mess.), Stiles dreams were subtle, confusing, and disjointed. They didn't insult viewers' intelligence, by tying everything up in a nice pretty Bardo Bow. And that made them seem more like . . . well . . . real dreams . . .
I still wanted to see Stiles get dream laid though . . .
My Shadow Self
As is usually the case on this show, other characters experience Real Problems, while Scott experiences things that are mildly annoying, but also kind of fun / funny.
"My Shadow Self really needs a manicure."
"If you think it, it will come . . ."
Allison has 100% turned into Haley Joe Osment's character from The Sixth Sense . . .
Complete with cold gusts of air coming out of her mouth, every time she encounters the dead . . .
"Oooh, either it's getting a little nippley in here . . . or I just stumbled into a commercial for breath mints."
She's also hallucinating entire trips to the hospital mortuary on her walks to school, and may or may not be suffering from multiple personality disorder . . .
"Which one of us do you think looks better in this outfit, Me or me?"
To top that off, her hands are shaking constantly, as if she's suffering from DTs, so she can't shoot her bow and arrow for sh*t, and her pesky zombie dead aunt, not only can't seem to leave her alone, but almost made her kill her best friend, and TOTALLY cockblocked her Awesome Dream Sex with Isaac. . .
"Helllooooo? Anybody in there?"
"Sup, girl?"
"Hey again. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me, Allison?"
"Was it something I said? Is it because I have zombie breath?"
"Woah, Allison, there are much easier ways to make sure you win prom queen than scalping the competition . . ."
"Oh Isaac, I've wanted this for at least three episodes so long."
"Hey girl! Can I get in on this too? Argent Family Threesome?"
"Worst . . . orgasm . . . EVER!"
So, I'd say that's all pretty sucky. Stiles, as we know, can't tell whether he's asleep or awake . . . like ALL THE TIME. He may, in fact, already be dead . . . As if that wasn't bad enough, the sole income earner in his family either just got fired from his job by his best friend's bio dad . . .
. . . and /or became a serious hoarder. And to top it off, in the past couple of days, Stiles has officially become a barely functioning illiterate who can't count to ten . . . .
So, in what horrible way has Scott been affected by the ritual sacrifice you ask? Well, his shadow is being sort of a pain in the ass . . .
"My shadow has officially become more attractive than I am. Now, I know how Peter Pan felt. . ."
"I am SO done competing with this douchebag. Off he goes!"
And his best friend is crushing on his ex . . .
"Weeee . . . I'm flying. Hey Scott, is this what it feels like to have sex with Allison?"
Oh, and he's also experiencing a massive case of dry eyes / anger management issues!
"Nothing to see here. This is totally normal. I treat my friend like he's the Hunchback of Notre Dame all the time!"
"You wouldn't like me when I'm horny . . . "
In other words, it's nothing a little Visine, and a pep talk from Mommy about how he'll find love again, couldn't cure . . .
"You don't need a girlfriend to keep you from turning into a monster, Scott. Remember what that nice man Anthony Bates said in Psycho, 'A boy's best friend is his mother . . .' "
Perhaps, that wasn't the best example.
So, to summarize, Stiles and Allison are going through Hell. And Scott? Well, he's going through puberty . . .
That's Sign Language for "You're totally f*&ked."
Have you ever had one of those dreams, where it's the end of the semester, and you realize that you totally spaced and forgot to attend one of your classes. And now, suddenly, you have to go take a final for a class for which you've never even cracked open a book?
Well, imagine that the class was Sign Language 101. And you arrive to find everyone repeatedly, and angrily motioning toward you in a way that might be the Macarena dance, for all the significance it has to you.
That's what happens to poor Stiles in this episode. Fortunately, our trusty old Coach Crackpot is there to wake our hero up from his nightmare. The problem, of course, is that, while all this was happening, Stiles wasn't actually sleeping. He was . . . drawing . . .
But wait . . . check out the shape of Stiles' incessant scribble of "Wake Ups." Does it look like anything to you? Because it sure as heck looks like an "anchor" to me . . . as in . . . THE TITLE OF THIS EPISODE . . .
Here's a theory. You know how all the werewolves require a mental "anchor" to keep themselves from wolfing out at inopportune moments. What if to escape "Bardo," our heroes also need an anchor to keep them "tied down" to the real living world, which is becoming increasingly hard for them to reach?
Kind of like the "anchors" who first guided our heroes into the Ritual Ice Bath Sacrifice in the first place? (i.e. Lydia for Stiles, Isaac for Allison, Deaton for Scott, or according to Scott's mother, Scott for Scott).
About that whole "Bardo" Concept . . .
So, it just occurred to me that I've been going about this recap kind of backwards, in the sense that I've been consistently referring to this Bardo Concept, without explaining how this information was actually introduced to our characters . . .
It all started with Lydia, who was taking way too much joy in the fact that she was no longer the token wackadoo of the group . . . i.e. the one who screamed really loudly at really inappropriate times for no reason at all, occasionally drugged her friends with wolfsbane, and had a strange tendency to wander around in the forest naked in the middle of the night .. . (Well, actually, she's still that person. But now all her friends are acting just as nuts.)
She also really, really wanted to figure out what the heck was going on with all her friends.
(By the way, you would think that a BANSHEE would be a bit more attuned to the fact that her entire social circle is potentially half-dead. But whatever . . .)
"Well, you all can't be THAT dead, because I'm not screaming my head off. Then, again, if all of this is just a dream in Stiles' head then . . . at least his subconscious put me in a cute outfit."
And while Lydia was busy being totally stumped by the situation, someone else had already figured things out. Meet Kira . . .
She's the new girl in school. This is her dad . . . who is a history teacher, and who is inexplicably teaching Kira's history class, despite the fact that the school is pretty large and likely has at least two other history teachers on the faculty who weren't murdered by evil Druids . . .
"I really don't want to be a history teacher. History teachers never survive supernatural teen shows. Can't I teach gym, or woodworking? How about making me a nice lunch lady? No one ever kills the lunch lady. I'd even be willing to wear a hairnet."
Some have speculated that Kira (or her dad) might be the foxy kitsune who gets into our Scooby Gang's heads this half of the season, and functions as its trickstery, mental manipulating big bad. But, for now, all we know about her is that she knows all about Tibetan Buddhism and Bardo, totally believes Scott and Co. are hallucinating and stuff because they are about to croak. Oh, and Scott thinks she's a total hottie. Anywhoo, I'm sure we haven't seen the last of this chick . . .
Speaking of Characters Whose Sole Purpose Seems to Be to Explain Complicated Tidbits of Mythology to the Audience. . .
He pops up just in time to tell the kiddies what we all pretty much figured out from the promos. Basically, that whole ritual sacrifice thingy, which actually had nothing at all to do with the finale or how Darach Jenny was ultimately defeated has made them Stiles, Scott and Allison, nutzo. And so they all need to . . . wait for it . . . close the doors in their brains to keep them from going straight to hell and letting all the evil demons escape into the world, just like they keep threatening to do but never actually do on The Vampire Diaries . . .
Don't worry Isaac. At least you were more helpful than Deaton, this week!
In Seemingly Unrelated News . . .
This guy . . .
. . . is a total douche, who is trying to take Stiles' dad's Sheriff job away, seemingly just because that's the kind of thing douches do.
Stiles' dad, of course, wants to keep his job, and randomly decides that solving a REALLY, REALLY cold case involving a missing little girl who IF she was still alive she's totally still alive would be Stiles' age now, is precisely the way to do it . . .
Meet, not really dead Malia Tate . . .
Her mother and sister(?) were killed in what may or may not have been a wolf mauling, but her body was never found. Malia Tate looks a bit like a younger version of this lady, Shelly Hennig, who has signed on to be a "Super Secret Important Character on this Show."
They even have the same side part in their hair!
For reasons that don't quite make sense to me, Stiles' dad decides to visit Malia's slightly strange, and very pissed off, still grieving father, who has a strange obsession with, and seeming hatred, for coyotes . . .
"Coyotes are evil. My missing daughter and/or I might be a were-coyote."
. . . so that Scott can quite literally sniff around Malia's room, and see if he can pick up her scent, despite her not having lived in the house for about ten years . . .
She must have been a really smelly girl?
Scott can't seem to latch on to Malia's body odor. But he and Stiles do have a fun little encounter with another smelly creature .. .
"Please let me join your pack. I'm already house trained."
"I'm also a very good finder."
Stiles and Scott narrowly escape the Tate home without being discovered by Creepy Papa Tate. Later that night, the two of them head off into the night in search of Malia's dead body. (Riiiiiight, because this strategy of searching for dead things in the forest has served them both so well in the past . . .)
And while they don't locate Malia's corpse, the best friends do come upon one of her baby dolls, which, just so happens to have the best working batteries of any toy I've ever seen . . .
What toy works that well after 10 years? Even the Chuckie doll from the Child's Play series has started to show signs of slowing down, and he's possessed by an honest-to-goodness serial killer . . .
Later that night, Scott stumbles upon a coyote or wolf (I'm not really good at differentiating between K-9's) and is inexplicably convinced it's Malia . . .
It's important to note that the creature .. . whatever it is . . . has blue eyes, which means it has killed innocents (possibly its own family members . . . possibly by accident, during a Full Moon turn). So, who is it . . . Malia Tate? Her father? The Mysterious Kira? It's probably too soon to know for sure.
Oh, and for those of you who have been wondering where Derek and Sassy Peter have been all episode . . . the answer will shock you . . .
Poor Derek! He can't even make it through one episode without having his manhood burned and denigrated in some way. But hey, at least he still looks good shirtless . . .
Some thing never change . . .
Next week on Teen Wolf . . .
And if that didn't whet your appetite, perhaps this will . . .
http://www.mtv.com/shows/teen_wolf/ep-14-sneak-peek/991310/video/#id=1719787
Until next time, Werebangers! Sweet dreams . . .
Filed under Teen Wolf
Tagged as 3b, allison argent, anchors, animated gif, bardo, coyote, Crystal Reed, deaton, Derek Hale, dream, Dylan O'Brien, holland roden, issac lahey, kate argent, kira, Lydia Martin, malia, nemeton, Peter Hale, promo, sacrifice, scott's mom, screencap, Season 3, season premiere, shadow, shelly hennig, sheriff stilinski, sneak peek, Stiles, Stiles' dad, Stydia, Teen Wolf, Tyler Posey, wake up, You Tube, zombie
August 1, 2012 · 6:29 am
Scarred for Life – A Recap of Teen Wolf's "Furor"
STILES: "You know, Derek. I sure am going to miss spending all these magical moments with you, when this show goes on hiatus."
DEREK: "I think your wallet is digging into my thigh."
STILES: "My . . . wallet?" *whistles uncomfortably*
Greetings Werebangers! This week on Teen Wolf, we finally learned how the kanaima got his master, the wide world of Clueless Parents in Supernatural Teen Shows decreased by one, Allison went rogue (sort of), and the series' most popular couple finally got up-close-and-personal with one another. (Hint: I am NOT talking about Allison and Scott.)
"Don't play coy with me, you sly little Recapper, you!"
So slip on your favorite black hoodie, strap on your completely-obsolete-against-supernaturals bow and arrow set, and head on down to your local Police Department, because it's time for another Hunter v. Kanaima v. Werewolf v. Stiles and his dad Grudge Match Beat-down (a.k.a as a Teen Wolf recap) . . .
[As always, special thanks to my blogging pal, Andre, for his weekly dose of screencapping awesomesauce.]
In which we finally figure out who's been creeping around Jackson's bedroom . . .
So, you guys all remember Jackson's early season bid for the Unsexiest Sex Tape, Since that One Made by Screech from Saved by the Bell, right?
"Wow, this sex tape is looking pretty hot."
"AHHHHH! Worst . . . sex . . . tape . . . EVER!"
One of season 2's first, and longest-running, mysteries, has always been the question of who edited that tape, and, perhaps, more importantly, how and why. Within the first few minutes of "Furor," we finally got some answers. And, wouldn't you know it? For once on this show, the theory of Occam's Razor, actually applies! In short, the Creepy Camera Guy is guilty of doing the Creepy Camera Thing . . .
"Haha, FOOLED YOU!"
This, of course, makes the most sense, out of all possible solutions, which is probably why the answer to this mystery alluded us fans for so long. Matt and his Technologically Savvy Night Stalking skills were literally right under our nose (and Jackson's bed) the entire time!
"Seriously, though . . . you should vaccuum under your bed. Soooo many dust bunnies."
The episode begins with a flashback to that fateful night when Creepy Camera Guy Matt first stood on Jackson's porch, and taught him how to take nudey pictures of himself, using nothing but the night vision settings on a portable camera, and a dream of wolfy glory. So romantic!
After the encounter, we follow Matt back to his car, where he hacks into the soon-to-be-not-so-much-sleeping Jackson's camera, because he SO obviously wants to ride that pony all the way to the finish line for completely "innocent" reasons, and unwittingly stumbles across the controversial footage that will forever be known amongst Teen Wolf Circles as Lizard-Gate.
Cue the epiphany . . . the flashbacks . . . the longing looks of love, and through-the-window-pane-hand (and claw) holding . . . It's the stuff romantic comedies starring emo psychopaths, and gross scary lizards are made of!
*cue the theme song from Titanic*
Meanwhile, over at the Hale House of Horrors and a Complete Lack of Internal Plumbing . . .
In which The Vet insults Derek's prowess as an Alpha, and reminds us that, despite all evidence to the contrary, he is NOT a witch, no sir . . .
VET: "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. It's time to smoulder and brood again."
DEREK: "I always considered myself more Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Or maybe Aladdin. He was kind of cool."
Teen Wolf Fans Who Love to See an Undressed Tyler Hoechlin Derek Hale is having a dream that looks nothing like any dream I've ever had. First of all, most people don't see themselves in their dreams, because . . . well, they ARE themselves in their dreams. (Does that make sense?) I've also never had a dream where people called my name, while I stood, half-naked, looking sexy, in a field of white mist. Then again, I don't look like Tyler Hoechlin . . .
Perhaps, if I did, I'd objectify myself in my dreams all the time! In fact, I'm quite certain, I would.
What I'm trying to say is, thank you Teen Wolf writers, from the bottom of my heart, for this completely irrelevant, and yet, utterly satisfying dream sequence featuring Derek Hale. It truly shows me, as a fan, how much you care . . . about my libido . . .
The Vet (who's real name is "Deaton," but who I will continue to call "The Vet" for all eternity, just like I will never call "Matt" anything but "Creepy Camera Guy") awakens Derek from his sexy slumber FAN COCKBLOCKER! to inform him that, yes, it's true, the hot red-head chick actually did knock your extremely well-toned ass out, by blowing some blue glitter in your face, dragged you all the way to your decrepit house, and made you hold hands with your corpse, uncle, so that he could come back to life. Oh, and P.S., "You suck as an Alpha."
Talk about a rude awakening! Next he's going to tell him that he has to spend the rest of the episode paralyzed from the neck down, with Stiles laying on top of him, and that he's about to find out that Scott betrayed him . . .errr . . . well, I guess we have to save some "surprises" for later, right?
Anyway, the good news is that contrary to popular fan belief, after last week's episode, Derek is still, in fact, an Alpha . . .
The bad news is that Peter Hale is going to use every mentally manipulative trick in the book to take that title away from him . . .
But worry not, Derek, the Vet has some advice for you about how to keep your title. You know, because he's your witch doctor "wolf advisor," and giving advice about the state of your Alpha-ness is what the Vet does best . . .
(Honestly, I'm not really sure what qualifies the Vet as an "Alpha Advisor," given the fact that he is neither Alpha, nor wolf. I mean, what do we know about this guy, really, aside from the fact that he gives good back rubs, and makes a mean Supernatural Repellant Powder? Then again, the best consiglieries in Mob movies are rarely Italian. So, I'm going to let all that slide, for now. Just know that I've got my eye on you, VET!)
So, I bet, right about now, you're wondering what brilliant pearls of wisdom our grand exalted advisor had for our favorite Alpha. Here it comes: "Find Scott the guy who's been betraying you at the police station, where he is currently being held at gunpoint by a lunatic, stalked by a lizard, and surrounded by a family of armed, and REALLY PISSED OFF ARGENTS instructed to KILL YOU FIRST."
Yeah, because that's a great idea!
Some advisor This Guy turned out to be . . .
In which 3 people not employed by the Beacon Hills PD, do its job for them . . . and pay the price . . .
Question: How do you convince a rational adult that the reason you think one of your classmates is a serial killer is because, while hallucinating at a party, you happened to see him standing next to a life-sized lizard?
Answer: You don't. But it sure is fun to try!
Granted, Stiles' proffered motive for Creepy Camera Guy murdering a sizable chunk of the 2006 high school swim team ("The swim team sucks!") ended up not being much better than the killer's actual motive.
"If you look really closely in my mouth, you can see the swim team . . . sucking."
But still, the ex-Sheriff wasn't quite buying it, and needed real tangible proof. This entailed a road trip to the police office, where Sheriff Stilinski no longer works, but miraculously is still allowed to go and watch classified hospital surveillance videos.
(Why is everyone trusting Scott in this episode? NO ONE should trust Scott. Scott is like the Beacon Hills swim team. See analysis above)
The result? A break in the case! Thank goodness for Mama McCall and her vehement hatred for DIRTY SNEAKERS. Otherwise, our fab crime fighting threesome would have never place Creepy Camera Guy, not only at the hospital at the time Used-to-be-Preggers lady bit it, but also, at nearly EVERY OTHER SINGLE MURDER SCENE, where his big muddy footprints were found just inches away from the chalked outlines of dead bodies.
Dude! That's what welcome mats are for!
Silly Creepy Camera Guy! Isn't the whole point of having a Big Ugly Lizard to do all your dirty work, NOT having to be sloshing your muddy feet all over the crime scene?
Just sayin . . .
Clever killer or not, the secret's out now . . . says the cop corpse at front desk, who's just been murdered by . . . you guessed it . . . Creepy Camera Guy is IN the building.
"If my death rattle is loud enough, you think I could still get my SAG card?"
And he's not too thrilled without our Three Wolfketeers . . .
"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for Those Meddling Kids . . . and my dirty feet."
Meanwhile, over in Argentland . . .
In which Allison engages in some much-needed room redecoration, and sort of / kind of becomes a completely different person . . .
Poor Allison! As if losing her mother to a Suicide-by-Werewolf wasn't bad enough, now she's got to sit and listen to her doddering grandpa just yap, yap, yapping away, about how he was never close to his mother, but if he was close to her, and she wrote him a letter then BLAH, BLAH, BLAH . . .
You see, that's the thing, Mama Argent may have written a fake suicide note for the world, but, according to Gerard, she wrote a REAL one to Allison, one seemingly explicitly designed to make her go all Rambo on the town werewolves. Now, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't put it past a seriously scary lady like Mama Argent to convert a "Sweet Final Goodbye Letter" into a Roaring Battle Cry. It's just that I don't think that was Mama Argent's priority, in her final moments . . .
In fact, I seem to specifically remember Mama Argent begging HER HUSBAND to tell Allison why she died, because she couldn't bear to do it on her own. My theory? Eeeevvvil Gerard, who, from the looks of it, couldn't give two wolf poops about Mama Argent, wrote this letter to convince new family Matriarch, Allison to OK the systematic extermination of Derek and his entire wolf pack. And, based on what we saw this episode, at least, his plan seemed to be remarkably successful . . .
ALLISON: "That's weird. Mom never dotted her eyes with hearts, or signed her name with a happy face."
GERARD: *whistles uncomfortably*
What follows is this awesome sequence, in which a seriously pissed off Allison burns the telltale letter, and goes full-on demolition derby on her bedroom.
Then she puts on the infamous Black Hoodie we saw in her hallucination last week, shoulders her now-trademark bow and arrow, and heads downstairs for an Argent Family Kill meeting. And, just like that, Dark!Allison is born . . . for real, this time.
At the kitchen table Gerard, has this total sh*t-eating grin that just makes you want to punch him in the face. He waxes poetic about Allison knowing the difference between revenge and retribution (which, some would say, are actually synonyms, Mr. Shakespeare!) He asks her whether or not the Argents should sentence Derek to death, as if the murder would be some sort of "War Strategy," and not an emotional response to the part he played in Allison's mother's demise.
Wait . . . that angry expression . . . those buggy eyes . . . I know that face from somewhere . . . I just can't put my finger on . . .
AHHH! It's ALIVE . . . again!
Message sent and received. Allison sentences Derek to death, with about as much emotion and concern as one would put into reciting a grocery list. Even Papa Argent seems a bit appalled at his daughter's new-found callousness. He tries to tap into his daughter's heartstrings, that reminding her that Lover Boy Scott, also played an unwitting role in her mother's demise.
But Allison is not swayed. She replies that Derek's death is her "priority." In fact, it's such a "priority" that she would willingly kill any of Derek pack members who got in the way of her mission . . . impliedly, this includes Scott . . .
*sniffle, sniffle*
Allison then receives a text message from Scott's phone, and reveals the wolf pack's location to her Nutbar family.
"Hey, check out this sext Scott sent me, Grandpa!"
It seems Peter Hale isn't the only Big Bad from Season 1, who's returning to the show. Apparently, Kate Argent 2.0 is making an appearance as well . . .
"It's like looking in a mirror."
Speaking of becoming a completely different person . . .
Ahh Creepy Camera Guy Matt. It wasn't too long ago that this guy was just a mild-mannered, slightly un-interesting side character, who used to get off on taking Allison's picture. (And we're still not 100% sure, why.) That was before boyfriend decided to let his CRAZY out to play! Now, he's a gun toting, screaming, occasionally blubbering, hostage taker one who's "Greatest Hits," include murdering four innocent cops . . . just because, having Stiles' dad chained to the wall, shooting the incredible skin regenerating Scott, in front of Mama Argent, and, perhaps most importantly, bringing two unrequited lovebirds together at last . . .
"See? I'm not all bad!"
In which Derek and Stiles take that nap together that they promised us . . .
A few weeks back, Tyler Hoechlin and Dylan O'Brien sat on a "ship," their legs entwined, and promised us all that they would take "more naps" together.
Something tells me THIS is what they meant . . .
You know considering, the kanaima is supposed to ONLY murder killers, as part of some massive revenge plot, Jackson's been getting a bit trigger happy, in the whole vengeance department. Don't you think? I mean sure, he started out kind of clever, avoiding killing a pregnant mother, because her child was an innocent. But now, he's just offing cops, willy nilly, and paralyzing every cast member, in which he comes in contact.
More on this, in just a bit . . .
What's important here is that Creepy Camera Guy Matt gives Kanaima Jackson the brilliant idea to paralyze Derek, and then paralyze Stiles, RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM! Derek pretends to be annoyed, but we know he secretly loves it. So, does Creepy Camera Guy Matt, who remarks on what a great match these two make . . . in other words, he's a TOTAL Sterek shipper . . .
And so he creates the image that launches 1,000 fan fictions . . .
DEREK: "I think you just bit my nipple."
STILES: "Did you like it?"
DEREK: "A little bit . . . yeah."
But then he flips Stiles over and puts his foot in his neck, and the little regard I had for Creepy Camera Guy Matt is completely lost.
However, as it turns out, there's a method to Creepy Camera Guy's madness. He wants a copy of the bestiary. You all remember the bestiary, right?
It turns out, Creepy Camera Guy Matt has been suffering some "skin issues," and hopes that the bestiary will explain them. Later, during an office pillow talk session, Derek muses that Matt is turning into the kanaima himself, as a result of being such a b*tch ass Master to Jackson, and repeatedly making him kill and maim, non-killers. That's pretty clever, Derek!
DEREK: "Dude seriously needs to moisturize."
STILES: "Should I lend him some of our personal lotion stash."
DEREK: "F*%k no! He tried to cut off your head, with his foot. He can get his own."
You know what else is clever? Your idea to stab yourself in the leg with your long fingernails to trigger your wolfy healing process, and, as a result, get that kanaima toxin out of your system more quickly than usual . . . gross . . .
. . . but clever . . .
In which we finally find out Creepy Camera Guy's Origin Story . . .
It's around this point in the episode, when we finally learn Creepy Camera Guy Matt's whole "deal" with the 2006 swim team. I think most of us fans correctly assumed that he drowned. What we didn't know, is that he Didn't Actually Die, which means none of these people were actually killers. It kind of undermines the whole "kanaima" motto, no?
Personal issues with Matt's backstory aside, I kind of liked the twist that what put Matt at the Lahey's house on that fateful night (when he was still rather young) was his friendship with Isaac of all people. There's something kind of circular in that, right?
"You mean to tell me, I'm actually friends with this Creepy Camera Douche? WTF!"
I also find it interesting that, of all the people involved in Matt's drowning, it was the two Lahey's who were most culpable . . . Isaac's dad, for inviting these underage kids to his house to drink in the first place, and for silencing Matt about what had happened to him, and Camden, for actually throwing him in the pool. Of course, Matt never actually got to kill Camden, because he had already died in combat. Bummer!
But hey, at least he still got to kill Dawson Leery's dad!
The rest of the kids seemed no more culpable than drunk obnoxious bystanders at a bar fight . . .
Given all that, on the surface, I found it pretty difficult to sympathize with Creepy Camera Guy Matt, and his weak murder motives. But Stephen Lunsford, actually managed to make this story work to his character's advantage. His portrayal of an innocent child, who raged silently for half of his life, and then, suddenly was giving an outlet for his anger, that eventually unhinged and completely consumed him . . . turning him into a monster far worse than his torturers, and worse, even, than Kanaima Jackson . . . kind of worked for me, even though his story didn't.
They say, "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts, absolutely." Think about all the times, in a fit of anger, you've wished in your mind for terrible things to happen to people. Now, imagine if you learned that the mere act of thinking those things made them come true . . .
Pretty frightening, right?
Meanwhile, outside the police station . . .
In which Gerard quotes Shakespeare (again), and Allison reenacts scenes from the movie Kill Bill . . .
Silly Gerard! Trying to rally your illiterate troops with obscure Shakespeare quotes about love and the mist of sighs . . . . ZZZZZZ . . .
Next time, stick with something they can understand like, "Let's go shoot some sh*t."
Anywhoo, the lights are out in the police station, and it's all misty. Allison runs into Scott, who immediately notices her black hoodie and game face, and undoubtedly thinks to himself. "Woah . . . b*tch is pissed."
Allison coldly tells Scott to get out of her way, which makes Scott cry man tears. (We've been getting a lot of those this season.)
Then, Allison and her dad have a fierce encounter with the kanaima. It attacks her father first, and Allison fights back, by shooting an arrow in it's eye.
"Why do I suddenly have a really bad headache?"
Unfortunately, Kanaima just swats at the arrow, like it's an annoying fly in its face, and out it goes. Then, she does this kind of cool Matrix-y move, where she goes flying toward the lizard thing, knife in hand.
"WEEEEEEEEE! I'm flyinnnggggg!"
But that moves lands her on the floor, experiencing the paralysis that pretty much every major cast member has suffered at the hands of the kanaima, this year. Then, Matt pops by to rub it in Allison's face, how she rejected him, and he got her on her back, anyway. Now, that's just cold!
Hey, Matt. Take a hint . . .
In which Scott shows his "werewolf" to his mother . . . (He is SO grounded!)
I kind of loved the nerdy, blink and you'll miss it scene, during which not-Sheriff Stilinski managed to break free from his handcuffs, and Mama McCall, who had been locked by Matt in a nearby cell, starting jumping up and down, and clapping like a giddy school girl.
She wasn't clapping quite as much though, when Alpha Derek, and Kanaima Jackson started beating the crap out of one another in their respective supernatural forms. The good news about that, is that Scott was there, to save the day . . .
The bad news, is that this means Mama McCall got a glimpse of his sideburns, and weird pointy wolf snout. Talk about a face only a mother could love . . .
"You must get most of your genes from your dad's side of the family."
It only took almost two seasons, but Mama McCall is finally slightly less clueless than she was before . . .
In which someone experiences an EXTREMELY ironic death, and someone else gets a new pet . . .
Speaking of Mama McCall, one of the big twists of the episode (and a nice bit of continuity on the writers part) was the reveal that Scott had been secretly working with Gerard, and feeding him information about Derek's pack, ever since the old man threatened Scott with his mother's life.
Of course, Derek is around to hear this exchange, and he is NOT amused . . .
*single manly tear*
There's a lot of focus, in this scene on Gerard and those pills he's always taking. Needless to say, this isn't the kind of guy, who's body could withstand a supernatural transformation. And I'm going to go into why I think that's important, in just a bit . . .
In the chilling, final scenes of the episode, we watched Gerard, drag Creepy Camera Guy Matt toward the water, and . . . you guessed it . . . drown him, WITH HIS BARE HANDS. In the words of Alanis Morissette, "Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?"
"I'll never take a creepy picture again! *sob, gurgle, gurgle, glug*"
The drowning scene was uncomfortably long. And part of me was waiting for, (a) Creepy Camera Guy Matt to FINALLY turn kanaima, as it had been teased that he would earlier in the episode, and fight back; or (b) Kanaima Jackson to rescue his Master.
Neither of these things actually happened. What did happen was that Gerard ended up being the one to play paddy cake with Jackson Kanaima, thereby making the Old Shakespeare Quoting, Pill-Popping, Asshat the lizard's new Master.
Hand porn
My theory on this? Gerard and his "Kill all werewolves" mentality will ultimately end up abusing the kanaima curse far worse than Matt ever did. This will ultimately cause Gerard to turn into a kanaima, one who will either (a) die during transformation; or (b) end up being controlled himself by none other than Corpse Man, Peter Hale . . .
Oh, did I mention that Undead Man has been watching this entire thing from up on high? Because he HAS been. And he's been looking good doing it. Peter Hale, I say his in all honesty: "Death really does become you."
MOMMY LIKE!
Next week, on Teen Wolf . . .
See ya then, Werebangers!
[www.juliekushner.com] [ Fangirls Forever – Now with Team Stiles and Team Derek tees]
Tagged as #10, advisor, Allison and Scott, allison argent, allison fight, Allison's dad, Allison's mom, alpha, bestiary, camden lahey, Chris Argent, Crystal Reed, dead police officer, deaton, Derek and Stiles, Derek Hale, drown, Dylan O'Brien, Episode 10, furies, Furor, gerard argent, Gerard drowns Matt, Gerard is the new master, holland roden, isaac lahey, jackson whittemore, JR Bourne, kanaima, lahey, lizard, Lydia Martin, master, Matt, Matt dies, pack, Party, Peter Hale, police station, retribution, revenge, Scott and Allison, Scott McCall, scott's mom, Season 2, sheriff stilinski, stephen lunsford, Sterek, Stiles and Derek, Stiles Stilinski, Stiles' dad, turns into the kanaima, Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey, vet, victoria argent, wolf
Punch Drunk – A Recap of Teen Wolf's "Party Guessed"
We all know Lydia is up to no good in this picture, because she is wearing the . . . Black Eyeliner of EVVVVILLL!
I've said it before, Werebangers. But this time, I really mean it. "Party Guessed" will go down in history as my favorite Teen Wolf episode EVER! The stellar acting, the solid writing, the character development, the twists, the numerous obligatory shots of Derek in his Tight Grey Tank Top . . .
We haven't seen this much Glorious Derek, since that episode, where all he did was work out for the entire hour . . .
(Another favorite episode of mine, by the way . . .)
What more could a Teen Wolf fangirl (or fanboy) ask for? Did I mention we might have finally pinned down our Kanaima Master?
Way to be a Psycho Svengali Serial Killer, Creepy Camera Guy Matt!
(By the way, remind me never to join the swim team at Beacon Hills High . . .)
"Breast stroke? Don't you mean DEATH STROKE?"
So, chug down a glass of that deliciously hallucinogenic pink punch, Werebangers, because it's time for another Teen Wolfcap . . .
[Special thanks to Andre for sending over those kickass screencaps.]
Another Dream Date with Decaying Corpse Peter Hale . . .
When the episode begins, Lydia's in the shower . . . again. And we all know how well that worked out for her last time.
(I'm thinking girlfriend should start considering taking sponge baths, STAT.)
"You're not fully clean unless your ZESTFULLY CLEAN!"
This time around, fortunately, there is no gross dirty Peter Hale Hand or gorilla hair in the tub with her. Instead, she opens the curtain and finds herself on the football field.
By golly, it's a NAKED DREAM! We've all had those, haven't we? And as The Girl Who Ran Around the Forest Naked for Two Days, we think Lydia's entitled to a Naked Dream or Two (preferably with Stiles or Derek in it).
Except, this isn't actually a Naked Dream, after all. In fact, Lydia is in the very same dress she wore to last year's dance. And she's being cheered on by a crowd of high school students . . . well, except for one chick, who's totally bawling her brains out for no reason, whatsoever. (Party Pooper!)
"Dammit! Why isn't she NAKED? How come everyone gets to see Lydia naked except for me?"
Actually, I'm still trying to figure out Crying Girl's significance. Is she one of the girls from the Swim Team (more on that later)? Is she a member of the Hale family, who died in the fire? Because she didn't exactly look like Corpse Laura to me!
Whoever she is, I suspect we will see her again, before the season is out . . .
Anywhoo, back on the football field, Lydia is being dragged across the ground by . . . wait for it . . . Peter Hale.
(They're just cheering, because from the back, he kind of looks like Justin Bieber.)
Lydia wakes up screaming (naturally). But then, she calms down. "It was all a dream!" She thinks to herself. "I didn't really shower in front of my classmates. Phew!"
Except, now her bed is filled with a REAL mixture of blood and hair. Signs of rough sex? And guess who's lying next to her, eagerly awaiting their next Pillow Talk Session?
Peter Hale TOTALLY seems like a post-coital cuddler . . .
You got it . . . Peter Hale! This dude is nothing, if not persistent. And I hate to say it, but these two actually have some freaky twisted sexual chemistry going on . . . (I think Stiles would be jealous, if he knew.)
Also a cuddler . . .
Except, here's the thing . . . now, maybe it's because he's been dead for a few months, and spent years before that pretending to be a vegetable . . . whatever the reason, Peter's kind of off his flirting game. For starters, he bores Lydia with talk about the Worm Moon. He also makes insects crawl all over her dirty feet, as part of his Seduction Technique. (Total turn off!)
See, Lydia . . . maybe if you spent less time screaming in the shower, and more time actually washing yourself, you wouldn't have this problem . . .
Peter also has this really annoying habit of referring to Lydia in the third person, when he talks to her about her. "Lydia is smart and beautiful," he says. "Everyone wants to go to Lydia's party." "Lydia is immune."
"Dude! She's standing right next to you!"
You know what else isn't going to get you laid by the girl of your dreams? Telling her she has to spike her punch bowl with hallucinogenic flowers, dig up your dirty corpse, and make it hold the hand of some hot guy, or else you will kill all her friends, while dressed in an oversized gorilla suit . . .
Yeah, I think it's safe to say that even the sluttiest of girls would consider that kind of a Deal Breaker . . . unless, of course, you happen to be part of the "Furry" Community, in which case, more power to ya . . .
On Wolves Getting Their Periods, and Wearing Funny Hats . . .
Meanwhile, over at the Abandoned Bus . . .
(By the way, is it just me, or does Derek Hale have the worst taste in real estate EVER? First, it was the burnt decrepit house. Then, that weird storage shed, and now a bus where ole Peter mauled some dude. Hey Derek! Give me a call, and I'll set you up with a nice condo . . . one that comes with a cleaning lady, who won't mind that you always leave teeth marks in the furniture . . .)
Derek is showing his baby wolves his Magic Trunk (I wish that was a euphemism for something fun. Unfortunately, it's not.) Boyd notices that oh so familiar swirly symbol on it . . .
*wipes drool from side of mouth*
Like the teacher's pet he TOTALLY is, the Big Guy explains that it's a Triskele, which symbolizes the "Power of Three."
Derek looks impressed, and a little bit turned on. Isaac looks like he wants to shove Boyd's head in the toilet, and give him a swirly, for being such a TOTAL NERD!
Derek notes that, for him, the Triskele represents Alphas, Betas and Omegas. Specifically, it reminds the stud muffin how any of the three types of wolf can easily be converted into one another. So, even if you're the Alpha, you should never get too comfortable, or too cocky, because you could end up a Beta or Omega, at the drop of a hat (or the pinch of a wrist). And that, my friends, is what I like to call FORESHADOWING . . .
Anyway, it's time to whip out the chains, and that hat from the Total Recall movie.
Derek must restrain his baby wolves, in preparation for the Full Moon. (Yeah, because that's worked SOO well, in the past.) Erica notes boldly that because she had her period last week, she won't be nearly as dangerous this week.
(Oh, Erica, haven't you learned yet that talking about "your monthlies" is a Boy Repellant!)
Erica's Period Faux Pas not withstanding, Derek gets major points with this female recapper for correctly noting that Erica, as a monthly bleeder / child birther has a higher tolerance for pain than her weiner-bearing companions. That's why she gets to wear the silly hat, and they don't! GIRL POWER!
"I feel pretty . . . oh so pretty . . ."
But no amount of S&M accoutrements are going to help Derek keep his wolf cubs from ripping up all the seat cushions, and peeing all over the house. After all, these are some Really Bad Babies!
So, you can imagine Derek's surprise when it ends up being NOT teacher's pet Boyd, but rather, Leather Twin Isaac, who's the first cub to find his "anchor," and control his wolfy rage.
(Now, if only his "anchor" could help him find his eyebrows. . .)
Even more surprising? The fact that Isaac's anchor just so happens to be the same father who verbally, and physically abused him, while occasionally shoving him in a freezer. As it turns out, Papa Lahey, actually used to be a pretty nice guy . . . before . . . well . . . more on that later . . .
Let's Get "Candid" with Creepy Camera Guy Matt!
Elsewhere, Allison's finishing up her Awful Date with Creepy Camera Guy Matt . . .
"Can I please cop a feel?"
"Just a little one?"
"What if I go to unbuckle my seatbelt, and my hand accidentally / on purpose grazes your left boob and inner thigh?"
Creepy Camera Guy Matt continues to not-so-subtly probe Allison with questions about the status of her relationship with Scott. When "CCGM" (see above) realizes he probably isn't getting anywhere, he exits the car, but not without accidentally / on purpose leaving his camera there, so that unrequited lady love can find his Eerie Homage to All Things Allison, Including Her Bedroom on the Second Floor of Her House . . .
"Wow. Matt must be really tall . . ."
"Wanna see more? The lens in my pants is on zoom, baby! Check out my f-stop!"
Though Matt tries lamely to explain his icky actions, Allison speeds away in her car, so fast, she leaves skid marks on Creepy Camera Guy's blue balls . . .
Meanwhile, over at the ex-sheriff's house . . .
Stiles Stilinski – Super Sleuth
Just because Stilinski Squared isn't employed by the Beacon Hills PD, anymore, doesn't mean they aren't still on the case. Driven by his crushing guilt over the part he unwittingly played in his father's firing, Stiles seems more determined than ever to crack the case of the serial-killing kanaima. While the Sheriff notes that local pedo, Mr. Harris, has already been brought in for questioning, due to his car / lame bumper sticker being found at the sight of Every Single Murder . . .
. . . Stiles is still unconvinced "She's 21" Guy actually did the crimes. After all, like us, Stiles knows that TWO of the victims, Isaac's dad and last week's unfortunate rave chicky, have no relationship with Harris at all. They do however have THIS relationship with one another . . .
That's right, Werebangers! In addition to beating his kid, and locking him a cooler, Mr. Lahey, also apparently used to enjoy teaching the butterfly to under-aged hard bodies, in his spare time. Go figure!
So, remember, earlier I mentioned that Isaac alluded to the fact that his father wasn't always a Grade A, asshole . . . thereby prompting me to wonder, what exactly made him change?
My theory? It's precisely, the same thing that made the kanaima want to kill all these peppy swimmers . . .
Could Mr. Lahey be somehow have been taking his guilt over what happened in 2006 out on his son? It's definitely a possibility . . .
You know, I actually spent a lot of time pouring over the screencaps for this scene, because I figured, we might be able to find our good pal Master Matt in the photograph. (We know he couldn't swim, but, perhap,s he was the Team Manager, or something?) Oddly enough, the guy that looked most like Matt in the picture (check out the kid in the bottom row center), is actually, at least according to the team roster, Isaac Lahey's brother, Camden.
I'm not exactly sure if that means anything. But it certainly piqued my interest . . .
Why Mama Argent Will Never Again Sharpen a Pencil and Pretend It's Scott's Weiner . . .
Memories . . . like the corners of my mind. Misty water colored memoriessssssss . . .
When we last left Mama Argent, she was lying in Papa Argent's arms, suffering from the Worst Hickey Ever! (Then again, any gift from This Guy can't be ALL bad, right?)
Now, Dame Victoria is sitting in the basement licking her own wounds (pun intended), while Grandpa and Papa Argent stage whisper about killing her, as if she's not sitting literally 5 feet away from them. (RUDE!)
"You know, becoming a werewolf actually IMPROVES your sense of hearing, a$$holes!"
De-nial isn't just a river in Egypt, it's also a gaping blind spot in Papa Argent's vision, as he tells his father, "It doesn't look so bad."
Really, Papa Argent? Because from where I'm sitting it looks like a PRETTY BIG F*&KING CHUNK of skin is missing from Victoria Argent's chest plate. Grandpa Argent clearly agrees, which is why he shows about as much sympathy for his daughter-in-law as an obese man would show for a Big Mac, telling Daddy-o, more or less says, "Kill the, B*tch. Allison will get over it."
"If you hurry up and kill her now, we may be able to make the 8 p.m. showing of Spiderman at the Multiplex."
"If you want an easier life, change your last name," scolds Grandpa Argent. "Just as long as you aren't changing it to whatever Mama Argent's maiden name is, because apparently that last name makes your life suck too."
On a side note, many fans have speculated that the pills we regularly see Grandpa Argent popping on the show might actually be some kind of werewolf or lizard suppressant. If that ends up being true, well, let's just say Grandpa's callous comments about Mama Argent being nothing more than a cocoon waiting to hatch a monster, will likely come back and bite him in the ass, by the end of the season . . . or, perhaps, I should say the chest plate.
"It's like looking in a mirror. We're both a little green and wrinkly."
In a surprise show of maternal instinct, a slightly teary-eyed Mama Argent (I thought soulless vampires only cried blood tears?) makes an attempt to confront her daughter about her impending wolficide.
"And while I'm describing to you, in detail, how I'm going to take my own life with a carving knife, I'll bake you brownies, tell you a bedtime story, and even squeeze in a talk about the birds and the bees."
Unfortunately, Allison Argent has better things to do than engage in Mommy/Daughter time . . . like for example, help Lydia perform ridiculously obvious product placement for Macy's pick out outfits (plural!) for tonight's "Big Party."
"Peter Hale said I had to shop at Macy's, or he would make me shower with him again."
Eventually, Allison leaves for the party, having never gotten to say goodbye to Mama Argent. Now, don't get me wrong, this is super sad, and will undoubtedly, saddle poor Allison with years of unresolved guilt, and thousands of dollars in therapy bills.
Nevertheless, the way that Mama Argent decides to atone for this "lack of a Final Conversation" between Mother and Daughter can only be described as . . . morbid.
Now, I love a Super Poignant Dramatic, Tear-jerking TV Death as much as the next fan. So, I TOTALLY understand Mama Argent's decision (at least from the writer's perspective) to go out with the Bang of a Stab Wound Inflicted in the Light of the Full Moon, just as "The Change" was occurring, as opposed to the Wimper of a pill overdose. I'm just a bit iffy on her decision to do it ON HER DAUGHTER'S BED, so that she can "feel closer to her." I mean, first of all, "EW," and second of all . . . no . . . scratch that . . . . "EW" just about sums up my thoughts on that decision.
(I also hope Daddy changed the sheets, afterward. Because, seriously. That's just unsanitary . . .)
There is some conversation between Mama and Papa Argent about playing off Victoria's death as a suicide to the community, which kind of seems like adding insult to injury, at least as far as Allison's concerned. Mama Argent, in particular, seems distraught over the fact that the neighbors would likely disapprove of her coming to such a "cowardly end," and deserting her family in that way. (I would think that Mama Argent would be more concerned about the community thinking her family was a bunch of gun-toting lunatics . . . which, of course, they are.) Papa Argent replies that Mama Argent is making a "brave sacrifice" for her family, by stabbing herself on her daughter's bed, rather than sprout long nails, and a pointy face, once a month, and whenever else she gets really angry (which, let's face it, is probably often).
I don't know . . . to me, personally, if it looks like a wolficide, and it walks like a wolficide . . . well, you get the idea. I still feel terrible for Allison that things had to go down this way. But more on that, a bit later.
Because Stiles Keeps His Drag Queens on Speed Dial . . .
In somewhat less depressing news, Stiles has a problem to which many men, I suspect, can relate. He has to get his HUGE BOX inside Lydia's teeny tiny door . . .
Yeah, I went there . . .
Unfortunately, we never did get to find out what was actually in that box. I have a few ideas, though. Do you? 😉
When our Scooby Gang arrives at Lydia's party, they find out that it's not exactly the hip soiree the birthday girl was hoping for (at least, not yet). Allison and Stiles speculate that this might be because Lydia's naked romps in the woods have christened her the "Town Wackjob." I don't know, guys. Personally, I would think Lydia's new-found penchant for public nudity would make her VERY, VERY popular . . . at least with the boys.
Don't you worry too much about Lydia, though. Stiles, as always, is ripe and ready to rescue her. All he has to do is call in a favor from all those new "friends" he met at the gay club a few weeks back. (Nice continuity, writers!)
Personally, I kind of love the idea of Stiles having his very own entourage of Drag Queens, ready to do his bidding at a moment's notice. I mean, let's face it, Derek and his wolf pack couldn't stand a chance against all those high heels!
Don't Drink the Punch, or You'll End Up All WET!
Stiles' Magical Drag Queen Summoning Powers (which are likely the same powers that enable him to move fairy dust with his mind) . . .
. . . end up working wonders! In what seems like only minutes, Lydia's once nearly empty house (Where ARE your parents, girlfriend?) is just crawling with party people, who just can't seem to get enough of Lydia's Magical Punch. And Lydia, ever the gracious host, is more than happy to quench the thirst of all her guests. In fact, she practically pours the stuff down all of their throats!
Of course, us viewers can tell right away that something is VERY wrong with that tasty drink, in the pretty stemless plastic wine glass. For one thing, it's got blue crap in it. Gross! For another, as I mentioned earlier, Lydia is serving it wearing her Black Eyeliner of EEEEEVVVVIILLLL!
Now, it's not entirely clear WHY Peter Hale insisted on Lydia LSD-ing all her pals. But I suspect it was done more as a diversion tactic from his holding hands with Derek "rebirth," than anything else. After all, had Scott, Stiles, Allison and Jackson not all been tripping that night, one or two of them might have noticed Lydia WANDERING AWAY FROM HER OWN PARTY, and possibly stopped her. (I think it's a pretty safe guess that she wasn't heading off into the woods to watch The Notebook again.)
That said, it did sort of seem like our main cast members got a Bad Batch of Punch, because while everyone else was busy making out, rolling around on the floor and being happy drunks, our core four were experiencing some pretty disturbing hallucinations . . . hallucinations that ended up being highly insightful, in terms of who these individuals are, and what exactly drives them . . .
Let's review the hallucination's shall we?
Because Lizards Make the Best Lovers . . .
I'll start with the most shallow hallucination first, which, not surprisingly belongs to Scott.
As we all know, Scott and Allison have been a bit "on the outs" of late, ever since Scott "casually" told his girlfriend to make out with Creepy Camera Guy Matt, and Allison ratted out Jackson's kanaima status to her batsh*t crazy family, which Scott saw as an explicit betrayal of his trust.
But, of course, Scott's still petrified of losing his brunette beauty, particularly to a monster that's bigger and badder than he is . . . one that's got a super long tongue that you could stick . . . anywhere. And don't even get me started on that BIG TAIL. (Even Stiles' "box" has nothing on that thing . . .)
*nom-nom, nom-nom . . . tastes like carcass*
Speaking of the kanaima . . .
Face Off – Starring Jackson Whitmore . . .
Poor Jackson! The writers have somehow managed to make me feel bad for this douchebag probably because they are planning on killing him in the season finale, and want me, personally, to cry when it happens. First, they did it with his crocodile tears, upon learning he had no friends a few week's back.
And now, the writers are at it again, when Jackson pleads with Lydia not to invite him to her party, because, deep down, he knows his kanaima self is only going to turn Lydia's dream birthday into a nightmare.
And yet, the kanaima master, isn't exactly cool with Jackson sitting out on a party that could potentially be attended by another swim team member. So, off to the party he goes.
"I'm sexy and I know it . . . LIZARD, LIZARD, LIZARD, LIZARD,LIZARD . . . YEAH!"
And wouldn't you know it, it's actually Jackson who experiences the nightmare at Lydia's hand.
Upon drinking that fateful punch, Jackson comes face-to-face with his REAL parents, only to find out that . . . wait for it . . . THEY DON'T HAVE FACES AT ALL! And, of course, neither does he . . . which makes sense, because, when you think about it, much of Jackson's douchebagginess comes from his frustration over not having an identity . . . not being able to turn into the "manly wolf" he's always wanted to be . . . having to share his position as captain of the Lacrosse Team with Scott . . . and, most importantly not truly knowing his own origins.
"I prayed for clear skin, during my teen years, but this is ridiculous."
Props to Colton Haynes for somehow managing to warm my heart with his trademark Vulnerable Face . . . only to be used on special occasions like this one . . .
Speaking of vulnerable faces . . .
"You killed her."
Poor Stiles. It doesn't take a genius to realize he's taken his whole father losing his job because of him thing, really hard. We see it in the determination with which Stiles attacks solving this kanaima murder case. And we see it in Stiles' anguish over his hallucination, which features a drunk Papa Stilinski, having just gotten back from Stiles' mother's funeral, blaming Stiles for HER death, and the ruination of HIS life.
Unfortunately, we still have yet to learn what exactly killed Mama Stilinski, or why Stiles seems to blame himself for it happening. But we do know that her absence has left a major hole in Stiles' heart, one from which he's never fully recovered. Kudos to Dylan O'Brien for really tugging at our heartstrings with the raw emotion of this scene.
Speaking of kudos . . .
Dark Allison's Revenge
Of all the actors on this show (with the exception of Tyler Posey) Crystal Reed probably gets the least to work with, in terms of juicy material, funny one liners, and powerful, character developing scenes. Correction: She GOT the least to work with, prior to this week, during which the actress showed her werebanging fans just how talented of an actress she truly is . . .
It all started with Allison kicking the crap out of that slimy Creepy Camera Guy, first for being a total stalker case, who takes "candid" pictures of her from her second floor bedroom window, and second for actually INSULTING her beauty, and calling her a dime a dozen. I mean, seriously, if anyone deserves a knee in the nuts it's Creepy Camera Guy Matt.
Now, at least, if his photography career fails, he can always sing Soprano in an all boys choir . . .
Except as it turns out, Matt isn't exactly the enemy Allison needs to the fear the most. THAT enemy, is wearing a black hood, stalking around the party, and shooting her in the stomach with a bow and arrow, while chastising her for being SO weak, and always playing the victim. What's interesting about this scene (apart, of course, from how cool Dark! Allison looked in it), is that it's not entirely clear what Allison's fear actually is?
Is she afraid of being weak . . . a perpetual victim, who constantly needs to be rescued by Scott and her family? Or, conversely, is Allison afraid of losing her soul, and becoming a single-minded, cold and calculating killer . . . like Dark!Allison . . . like the dearly departed Kate Argent . . . like her very own mother . . .
Speaking of Allison's mother . . . how incredibly raw, and emotional was that hospital scene, in which Allison learns of her mother's death from her father? As someone who lost a parent at a young age, Allison's pain and anguish really resonated with me, because no matter what kind of person Mama Argent was, she was still Allison's mother. And you never really get over a loss like that . . .
On a much lighter note . . .
That Teen Wolf Contest Winner NEEDS to become a series regular . . . no joke.
When we last left our plucky little Stilinski, he was drunk as a skunk, high as a kite, and still reeling over his faux father's drunken outburst. But Scott needs his sidekick back STAT. So, he turns to our Very Special Contest Winning Guest Star to pick up the pieces of Stiles fragile psyche, which she does by dunking his head in a pool of water.
Not only was this a hilarious moment, executed to perfection by a surprisingly talented amateur actress, it also gave us back Wet Stiles . . . an image we haven't seen, since that fateful day, when he and Derek took a nice long romantic swim together, in the school pool . . .
Speaking of swimming . . .
THE KANAIMA REVEALED
After weeks of doing little more than lurking around looking suspicious, Creepy Camera Guy Matt finally revealed himself as the kanaima master, when he YELLED OUT TO THE ENTIRE PARTY that he can't swim, upon being tossed into the pool (probably by some sh*tfaced drag queen).
Jackson rescued him, of course, which just screams "Master / Slave," because we all know that under any other circumstance, Jackson would be the one THROWING the nerd into the pool, not pulling him out . . .
Then, as if we hadn't been beat over the head with the "Matt as Kanaima" idea enough, we are given THIS image . . .
This reveal, of course, only leads to more questions . . . is Matt alive? Is he the ghost of someone murdered by a bunch of swim teammate? What led him to take on this quest for vengeance? And how exactly did he know he could use Jackson to carry out his plan?
Ahh . . . the plot, it's thickening . . .
Speaking of thick . . .
Derek Gets Glitter Bombed / Red Eye Reduced
What are you dreaming about, Derek?
Awww, Derek! You big sexy hunk of man meat, you! Of all the things that would end up bringing your seemingly invincible ass down, no one could have guessed that it would end up being the petite 105 pound red head, and a bunch of blue glitter in your face. Honestly, it's a little pathetic, but also kind of charming, in a way.
After week's of speculation, we finally got to see why Peter Hale had been stalking Lydia, and using his teenage face to hit on her, make out with her, and give her flowers all these weeks. It was also so Lydia could make Derek fondle Peter's corpse at the first light of the worm moon, which somehow made Peter come back to life, and turned Derek's eyes from Alpha Red, to Horny Green. 🙂
Yeah, it didn't make sense to me either. But, you have to admit, it was still a really cool ending.
Until next time, Werebangers!
[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever- Now with Teen Wolf tees!]
Tagged as #9, 2.9, 209, afraid, allison argent, Allison's mom, animated gif, Birthday, blue, Boyd, coach lahey, colton haynes, Crystal Reed, Daniel Sharman, Derek Hale, drag queen, dunk, Dylan O'Brien, Episode 9, erica reyes, flower, Gage Golightly, gerard argent, hallucinate, hallucination, holland rodan, ian bohen, isaac lahey, J.R. Bourne, master, mr. harris, Party, party guessed, Peter Hale, punch, Scott McCall, screencap, screenshot, Season 2, sheriff, speculation, stephen lunsford, Stiles Stilinski, Stiles' dad, swim, swim team, theory, Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey, victoria argent, water, worm moon
BITE ME, UNCLE ALPHA! – A Recap of Teen Wolf's Season Finale Part II "Code Breaker"
Derek Hale, you just purchased a brand new pair of red-colored contacts became the new Alpha. What are you going to do now?
DEREK: "I'm going to have crazy, mindblowing, sex with a TV Recapper!"
Greetings Werebangers! Well, the finale of Teen Wolf has come and gone. And the world, as we know it, will never be the same. We've seen things we can't unsee: people with their throats ripped out; corpses tucked in the trunks of cars; skin irreparably burned by twin Molotov Cocktails; a body spewing blood across a hospital bed, like a geyser . . .
. . . and, the most shocking image of all . . . DEREK HALE SMILING!
So, reload that crossbow, toss me a Molotov, and show me your teeth, because it's time for the FINAL Teen Wolf Recap of the Year . . .
Man, I'm going to miss using this GIF!
(As always, special thanks to the spectacularly brilliant and talented screencapper Andre, for the images you see here. Were it not for all his help, this season, these recaps would probably be filled with nothing more than my LAME words, and a few random promotional stills that I nabbed off MTV.com. 🙂 )
"So . . . ummmmm, Allison. About my New Face . . ."
When we last left those two crazy kids, Allison and Scott, they were contemplating a little quickie in the old school bus . . .
. . . until, of course, that mean ole' cock block, Papa Argent came, and TRIED TO RUN SCOTT OVER WITH HIS CAR . . .
Damn you, Papa Argent! It's YOUR fault that this show is only rated "T" for teen!
Once Scott realizes what has happened, he runs off to LITERALLY go howl in the woods . . .
OK, Scott. I know your "devastated," and all. But is it really necessary to go rolling around in dirt, in your WHITE DRESS SHIRT? What is this . . . the beginning of a Tide detergent commercial?
Having been effectively neutered by his girlfriend's dad, Scott goes to the vet's office, so he can "sort out his feelings" along with the other K-9's . . .
*sniffle, sniffle* "I wish I could just roll over, and play dead."
As for Allison, she's more in shock than anything else. Wouldn't you be, if you found out you were screwing a dog?
AWKWARD!
Papa Argent hugs his frightened daughter to his chest, and drives her home. Given the state she's in, he will probably have to wait until tomorrow to get her a rabies shot.
Meanwhile, out on the football field . . .
Road Trippin' with Uncle Alpha
Stiles is freaking out now, huddled, as he is, over a definitely unconscious Lydia's limp body.
"Uhh . . . Lydia? I really hope you don't let this reflect poorly on your opinion of our first date."
But Uncle Alpha doesn't seem all that concerned. He has bigger fish to fry than prospectively dead redheads. He wants to find Derek Hale, and he needs Stiles to help him do it. "Why don't you just kill me, already?" Stiles shouts.
Oh, come on, Stiles! Let's not be so overdramatic! I mean, Lydia's a nice girl and all (Well . . . not really). But she's not technically your girlfriend yet, is she? So, there's really no need to go all Romeo and Juliet on us, now. Is there?
After Uncle Alpha assures Stiles that he doesn't want to immediately kill him, Stiles reluctantly agrees to help him find Derek. However, being the chivalrous gentleman he is, Stiles absolutely refuses to leave Lydia three-quarters dead, in the middle of the football field. (What a guy!) So, Uncle Alpha, ever the resourceful Super Villain, suggests that Stiles call Jackson, and tell him where he could go to pick up his ex-girlfriend, and possibly ex-human.
"Lord, when I asked you for a ready and waiting woman, to fall into my arms, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind."
Chilling out in Stiles' jeep together, en route to Uncle Alpha's car (which is located in the parking lot of the mall / grocery store) "sensitive" Uncle Alpha tells Stiles not to worry about Lydia, since there's a good chance she could come back to life, as a big hairy werewolf. What a refreshing thought, Uncle Alpha! Stiles, of course notes that this would also mean that Lydia will start sprouting hair in weird, unattractive places, undoubtedly causing Stiles to cough up many a hairball, if and when he sleeps with her will eventually lose control, and try to EAT STILES, at some point, all because she's having a bad day.
Yeah . . . that wasn't what I meant.
Uncle Alpha can't really argue with that assessment, so he starts humming to the tunes on the radio, instead . . .
"My mouth is alive, with juices like wine. And I'm Hungry Like the Wolffffff."
Over in the parking lot, Uncle Alpha lets Stiles get a peek underneath his hood . . . oops, I mean, in the trunk of his car . . . which is actually the red-headed nurse's car. "But . . . she's dead," exclaims Captain Obvious Stiles, in horror.
Check out the hand. It looks kind of wolfy to me. I guess "getting the bite" doesn't necessarily promise a long life, now, does it?
"I got better," remarks Uncle Alpha emotionlessly. (Haha! I like THIS GUY! He's funny!)
From the stinky corpse-filled trunk, Uncle Alpha extracts a iMac laptop, causing Stiles to wonder whether ALL werewolves are MAC people. (Gee, I wonder how much Apple paid for THAT little advertisement?)
Buy iMac . . . for all your wolfy, human flesh-eating needs.
Now, all they have to do, is type Scott's iPhone username and password into the computer, and they can figure out where Derek (who has been hanging on to the phone for precisely this purpose), is being held captive. After making a few growled threats, and promising to keep Scott safe, Uncle Alpha eventually gets Stiles to admit that he knows both Scott's username AND password by heart.
Stiles types both in, and Uncle Alpha hilariously rolls his eyes. "His username is 'Allison.' And his password is also 'Allison'?" He snorts derisively.
"Apparently, I've just let the human equivalent of a tampon into my wolf pack."
(OK, so, I immediately guessed Scott's password. He's not particularly intelligent, or creative, after all. But that username threw me. I mean, what kind of guy chooses "Allison" for their username? The kind of guy who gets weepy, while watching The Notebook, that's who!)
"Are you sure you still want him in your pack?" Stiles quips.
Uncle Alpha doesn't look sure at all. In fact, he's probably wishing he took Stiles, instead, or Stiles' dad, or THIS GUY . . .
. . . anybody aside from Schmoopy Scott and his oh-so-creative cell phone passwords!
Within moments, Derek Sexy Pants' location is revealed. Apparently, Auntie Kate has been keeping him in a dungeon, underneath the guy's OWN HOUSE, this WHOLE TIME.
I suspect the warehouse was used back in the day, by the family, to prevent themselves from eating their neighbors, during the Full Moon. (How thoughtful!)
Having gotten what he wanted out of Stiles, Uncle Alpha takes the keys to the poor kid's jeep and smashes them in his hands, so he can't follow him. He then prepares to strand the poor guy in the parking lot.
Wait . . . how did he get them all to bend in different directions? That's pretty impressive!
"Oh, so your not going to kill me?" Stiles asks, seeming slightly disappointed, if you ask me.
Uncle Alpha, honestly, seems hurt by the notion that he would kill the most popular character on this show. "When are you going to realize that I'm not the bad guy here?"
"You turn into a giant monster, with red eyes and fangs, and YOU'RE not the bad guy?" Stiles quips. (LOVE HIM!)
"I'm just misunderstood."
Though clearly played up for humor, this conversation actually brings up a good point about Uncle Alpha. I mean, of course, he's the Bad Guy! How could a guy morph into something that looks that hideous and not be? And yet, Uncle Alpha is far from the one-note maniac with his heart set on World Domination that we so often see on these types of shows.
Much like the Argents (well, at least Papa Argent . . . there's no accounting for Auntie Kate the Psychotic Werewolf Slayer), Uncle Alpha has a code to live by, and that code is Vengeance. All his actions throughout the season were geared toward attaining that goal. And while this doesn't make his actions justifiable, it certainly gives him a valid, and somewhat relateable, motive for his crimes.
So, while WE view Uncle Alpha as a Bad Guy for what he did to Laura Hale . . .
You just don't come back from something like this . . .
. . . and what he's TRYING to do to Derek, Scott, and his friends, as viewers, we can definitely see why Uncle Alpha HIMSELF doesn't see himself as a Bad Guy, but more as a victim, of sorts, turned renegade anti-hero.
In fact, to prove he's "not a Bad Guy," Uncle Alpha offers to repay Stiles for all his heart work and support, by BITING HIS ARM OFF!
"Does anybody have any butter?"
That's right, boys and girls! Realizing that one of his packmembers is this uber sappy emo kid, who's unhealthily obsessed with his girlfriend, Uncle Alpha has decided that it might not be such a bad idea to do a little additional pack recruiting. And he wants Stiles on his man-eating team.
Just as Derek did with Scott, during the Pilot episode, Uncle Alpha begins to sell Stiles on the joys of being a werewolf. Believe it or not, the "DO YOU WANT THE BITE?" scene was by far my favorite of the episode, and, considering this episode contained within it a heaping helping of Shirtless Derek, that's saying A LOT!
"Whatchu talkin' about, Recapper?"
"You know, I bit Scott that night, because I needed a pack, but it could just as easily have been you . . . " Uncle Alpha begins. (Well, that's a new piece of information!) "If it doesn't kill you, which it might . . . you will become like us . . . no more standing on the sidelines watching Scott grow stronger, and more popular . . . watching him get the girl. You two will be equals . . . maybe you'll even more than that."
This naughty little puppy is about to get a spanking.
One of the things that makes Uncle Alpha such an intriguing character, is that he is capable of SO much empathy, especially for a villain. (A quality which the female Auntie Kate, ironically seems to almost completely lack.) The reason why Uncle Alpha is so great at manipulating the other characters on this show, is that he has such a deep understanding of them.
He knows that Derek is primarily driven by his guilt over the pain of losing his family. He KNOWS that Scott would pretty much sell out his own mother to protect Allison. And he knows that Stiles, while being predominately driven by loyalty toward his friends, also deep down, must be feeling some resentment toward being forced to the sidelines, as the less intelligent, and less generous Scott is given the opportunity to shine with his newfound abilities, and new hot girlfriend.
You gotta admit, for a socially awkward high school kid, who's best friend is already a werewolf, accepting Uncle Alpha's offer sounds like a pretty good idea, don't you think? (Just ask Jackson.)
"Please bite me in the ass. I'll be your best friend!"
Stiles doesn't say anything at first. He just sort of stands their gawking at Uncle Alpha, like he wants to make out with him, or something. Not one to stand on ceremony, Uncle Alpha grabs Stiles' arm, and slowly lifts it toward his mouth. But Stiles snatches it back at the last second. "I don't want to be like you," Stiles hisses.
(I know it's random, but I just couldn't resist.)
Uncle Alpha doesn't believe Stiles, because apparently his heart was beating faster, when he said the words, "I don't want," thereby signifying a lie.
I guess lie detection is another cool party trick werewolves can do! I don't know, Stiles. It sounds like you are missing out.
Having had his "gift" denied, Uncle Alpha bids Stiles adieu, and heads off in Stiles' jeep toward La Casa de Old and Decrepit, a.k.a. Derk Hales House . . .
Don't Mess with Mama Argent!
Back at the Walmart of Guns, Papa Argent is reading Auntie Kate the riot act, for letting the cat out of the bag to Allison about the whole "werewolves exist, and we kill them" thing. (So, I guess this means Papa Argent didn't expose Scott as a werewolf to Allison, on purpose?)
He's beginning to question Auntie Kate's real reasons behind returning to town, and whether she's adhering to the code, considering she seemed so willing to put a teenager like Scott's life at risk, even though he's never spilled any blood, while in wolf form. (Well . . . except maybe Danny's.)
How soon we forget!
You can tell that Papa Argent is already starting to piece things together, when he notes that Uncle Alpha only seems to be killing those individuals with some connection to the Hale fire. "Well, everyone always blamed us for that," Kate argues. (UHH HUH! With good reason! Because YOU did it, B*tch!)
Why do I get this weird incestual vibe, everytime I watch these two interact on screen with one another?
Ultimately, Papa Argent punishes Auntie Kate for her insubordination, by benching her from the Game of Kill Alpha, and forcing her to take Allison out of town to ensure that she is safe from any possible retaliatory Alpha acts that might be made against her person, within the next couple of days. Auntie Kate reluctantly agrees, but she does so with a mishievous gleam in her eyes, that seems to suggest that she has other plans for her and Allison, ones that involve a bit less road tripping, and a bit more ass-kicking . . .
I would wipe that smirk off your face, if I were you. In about 15 minutes, you aren't going to have a throat . . . or a working neck, for that matter.
Upstairs in Allison's room, her mom is helping her to pack for her little "Please don't kill me, Mean Werewolf," excursion.
We've really only met mom once or twice this season. But we already know she's a total WACKJOB, one that makes Auntie Kate look like a pussycat by comparison. (Who would have thought that scary Papa Argent, would end up being the most docile and relatable adult in this family?)
"Who you callin' DOCILE?"
In addition to her severe haircut, and super frightening alien eyes, Allison's mom is like a cross between a Stepford Wife, Mommy Dearest, the Wicked Queen in Snow White, and a rabid pitbull. During her scene with Allison she alternates from faux smiling and discussing the weather up north, and what Allison should wear, to screaming at her to keep quiet about all the family secret's she's recently learned. Mommy Dearest, indeed . . .
Gross Anatomy (No, really . . . that sh*t's nasty.)
Just as Uncle Alpha had envisioned, Jackson retrieves Lifeless Lydia from the football field, and carries her back to school to get some help. She is promptly brought to the hospital where, according to the doctors, she seems to be having an allergic reaction of sorts to the bite she received.
"Don't I look all pretty and angelic, in my hospital bed?"
Outside in the waiting area, Deputy Daddy gives Jackson a good ole' TVD style wall slam, demanding to know exactly what happened to this teen, who was suppposedly Jackson's girlfriend.
I suspect Jackson has a pretty good idea of precisely what happened to Lydia. But, of course, he passes the buck, telling Deputy Daddy that maybe he should ask HIS SON, since HE was Lydia's actual date to the dance, not Jackson.
Now it's Deputy Daddy's turn to be near tears. "Somebody better find my song," he whispers frantically, before finally letting Stiles go.
Entering the hospital with a creepy detached look in her eye is Allison, who's walking through the hospital halls, like she's a dude with a hard-on.
I didn't know there were zombies on this show . . .
She immediately finds Lydia's bed. And when she places her hand on the glass, Allison envisions Lydia, seizing violently, and shooting blood all across the room.
That was neat, Allison! I want to learn to do that!
Of course, when she removes her hand, Lydia goes back to normal, her bed just as white and pristine, as when the bedsheets were first washed. But hey, just because it was a hallucination on Allison's part, didn't make it any less nasty.
When Allison returns to the car, "supportive" Auntie Kate is right there waiting to give her a little snide, "I told you so."
Why does this picture remind me of a poster for the direct-to-video sequel of Thelma and Louise?
According to Auntie Kate, this is what ALL werewolves do. "They just can't help themselves . . . yes, even Scott."
Oh, Auntie Kate, you Shameless Murderer of Young Love, you!
"DIE, ROMANCE, DIE!"
When Stiles finally arrives at the hospital, his father is clearly relieved to see him alive. But still . . . he has some SERIOUS explaining to do, about the whole, "leave your date in the middle of a field to die, after she was bit by . . . SOMETHING" thing. Nevertheless, Deputy Daddy has some important information to share with Stiles. Specifically, he tells him that the person who orchestrated the Hale fire was a woman, currently in her late 20's wearing a very distinct necklace.
And that's how Stiles FINALLY fingered Kate . . .
. . . wait . . . that didn't come out right.
Of course, now that Stiles has returned, everyone seems to be looking for Scott. Deputy Daddy inquires as to his wereabouts, but both Stiles and Jackson remain mum. However, when Papa ARGENT, asks the same question, Jackson, who I will hereinafter refer to as the Little Weiner tha Couldn't, or Little Weiner for short, cracks under the pressure. (SURPRISE!)
It's time for more idle threats and wall slams! Yay!
"Pucker up, cutie pie!"
Papa Argent takes this captive audience opportunity to tell Stiles his furry little bedtime story, about the time he had to shoot his rabid werewolf, former best friend in the head. Stiles snarks that Papa should use better judgment selecting friends. Papa fires back, by forcing Stiles to recall the time he was forced to chain Scott to the radiator, during the whole Bad Scott Full Moon episode.
"Memories . . . like the corners of my mind. Misty water colored memmoriesssss, of the way we werreeee."
In response, Stiles FINALLY lets Papa in on what we've known all along, that Auntie Kate was the one who broke the Hunter Bro Code to burn down the Hale House, all those years ago.
Annnnd the plot thickens . . .
Once Papa Argent is done man-handling the kiddies, Stiles and Jackson decide to head off in Stiles' Porsche to go find Scott themselves, since they are both pretty sure, under the circumstances, that he is hanging out at La Casa de Old and Decrepit with Wolfman Derek.
Scott McCall to the Rescue (I guess there's a first time for everything!)
We return to the dungeons to find Sexy Wolfman Derek still shirtless . . .
. . . and still being beaten by the Argent Enforcer, Mr. Clean . . . this time, with a bat.
I've never been so jealous of a bat before in my life . . .
Scott finds Derek by howling at the moon.
(Because that's not cheesy at all.)
By the time Scott arrives, Derek has managed to remove enough of his chains to knock out the enforcer. Derek is pretty happy to see his fellow pack member.
"So, this one time . . . at band camp . . ."
But the pair seem to be at a bit of a standstill. You see, Derek wants Scott to help him out of his last restaints, but Scott wants Derek to promise to help Scott rescue Allison first. Having had his own . . . negative experiences with Argents during his teen years . . .
. . . Derek wants Scott to buck up and behave like a wolf. "You are 16-years old . . . you are not in love. You are a CHILD," Derek growls, even though he can't really be more than five years older than the "child," himself.
But then Scott conveniently shows Derek the paper indicating that the Alpha, with the nurse's help had lured Laura Hale into town to kill her, so that he could become the Alpha. And suddenly a vengeful Derek is right back on the "Help Scott, Save Allison, Kill Alpha Team." He breaks out of the restraints himself, and the two betas make a run for it . . .
Nice Knowing Ya, Auntie Kate (Well . . . not really . . . but, you know . . .)
Derek and Scott are running around La Casa de Old and Decrepit, when Derek suddenly has the strangest feeling that they are being stalked. Scott suddenly decides to get all META, and tell Derek that by SAYING seems to easy, he's pretty much GUARANTEEING that bad sh*t will go down.
"NOW, you tell me!"
Cue the entrance of Allison and Kate, and their weird weapons arsenal. Using her archery bow, Allison expertly hits Derek with two silver tipped arrows at Kate's command.
"WOAH! How did THAT get there?"
She then blows up a tree near Scott to blind and incapacitate him.
Cue the Bad Ass Female Music, as the two women walk in slow mo toward their prey. A whiny squinty Scott continues to proclaim to an angry Allison that despite pretty much lying to her for 11 episodes straight, he really does love her, and has only been trying to protect her this entire time. Kate interrupts this sweet heartfelt moment to tell Allison that it's time to kill the Betas. Naive Allison is SHOCKED at this suggestion. "I thought you just wanted to catch them," she exclaims.
Really Allison? Have you met Kate the WEREWOLF SLAYER? Have you been watching the same show we have? Then Kate shoots Derek in the stomach WITH A GUN to prove she's serious . . .
Then, before Allison can scream "SCOOOOOOOOOT," she pushes her own niece out of the way, and prepares to put a bullet in our heroes brain.
It's PAPA ARGENT to the rescue? He reminds Kate that shooting teens is not acceptable. She has gone against the code for the last time. "Put the gun down, or I will put you down," he threatens, holding a gun in his sister's face.
(Now don't you wish you could put THAT sentiment on a Hallmark card for YOUR sister's birthday?)
This little Fun Family Moment, is interrupted by the ominous opening of the door to La Casa de Old and Decrepit. Scott's eyes begin to glow. "It's the Alpha," he snarls.
Suddenly, the Alpha is circling the Argents at top speed, knocking them to the ground, one by one. It's pretty darn hilarious, I have to say, particularly when he does it to Allison. (Yes, I'm a total b*tch, I know.) Saving the best for last, he grabs Auntie Kate, and breaks her arm, causing her to drop her only weapon. He then throws her into the Hale House.
Oh, it's ON!
Allison runs into the house, frantic to save her Aunt, who the Alpha now has by the neck.
Cutest Couple EVER!
For the first time, Auntie Kate looks scared, and vulnerable. She's no dummy, and knows the end is near for her. Uncle Alpha remarks that Allison and Kate look a lot alike, only Allison is less damaged. (Something tells me, she won't be "less damaged" for much longer, after witnessing this!) Uncle Alpha then tearfully asks Kate to apologize for killing his entire family. Kate rasps out a sorry. But Uncle Alpha breaks her neck, and rips out her throat, anyway, as Allison looks on in horror.
Sayonara SUCKA!
"I don't know about you, but that apology didn't sound very sincere to me," Uncle Alpha snarls. (You have to admit, he has a point.)
Then the Alpha lunges for Allison. But ta-da! It's a wolfy Scott and Derek to the rescue. Scott growls for Allison to run. It's GO TIME!
Werewolf Showdown (Cue the bad CGI Graphics!)
As Uncle Alpha's face gets all stretchy, weird and Alpha like . . .
This gives the term facelift a whole new meaning . . .
However, Scott and Derek dominate the human transformer, by kicking him, punching him, and doing back flips and karate chops on him. But when Uncle Alpha morphs into his full Alpha mode. All bets are off, and the playing field is no longer even. Uncle Alpha then easily incapacitates Derek for like the 80th time this episode, and stalks out toward the humans, who are waiting for him outside
Rock on, Scooby Gang!
Stiles and Jackson arrive on the scene, just as Uncle Alpha is running through the door.
Though I'm not sure when they had time to make them, each is carrying a Molotov Cocktail. Stiles throws his first. And, in an echo to the "Night School" episode, the Alpha catches it . . .
Chug a Lug, Alpha!
. . . except THAT time the Cocktail was made wrong. This time, it was made CORRECTLY. Thinking fast, Scott throws Allison her crossbow, and she shoots an arrow through the Cocktail, causing it and Uncle Alpha to burst into flames.
"Stop, drop and ROLL, Alpha!"
Jackson then throws HIS Molotov Cocktail to fuel the fire, and Scott needlessly . . . but I guess the writers needed him to do SOMETHING finishes Uncle Alpha off, by kicking him into a nearby tree (Honestly, I'm not sure how he managed to not get burned doing that, but OK.)
"I'm MEEEEEELLLLTIIIING!"
The Alpha falls to the ground, looking pretty darn dead. But shockingly he's not. Cue Derek's triumphant exit from La Casa de Rich and Decrepit. He walks toward the prone Alpha like a man on a mission.
Scott warns Derek, that if HE kills the Alpha, Scott's final chance at a cure for his werewolfism is pretty much shot. But Derek isn't exactly in the mood to listen to reason. He leans over the Alpha, with vengeance in his eyes. "You've already made your decision," rasps the dying, groteque-looking Uncle Alpha. "I can smell it on you," he concludes, his eyes glowing red for the last time.
And the Derek does it. Using his nails, he takes a big swipe out of Uncle Alpha's neck, ripping his throat out, just as the Alpha had done to Auntie Kate, moments ago.
His eyes immediately glow red, and his voice starts to get that creepy echo to it. "I'm the Alpha now," he says triumphantly.
YEAH, YOU ARE!
Amidst all this (Because seeing people with their throats ripped out is SUCH a turn on!), Allison crawls over to Scott, and starts making out with his wolf face. The effect of Allison's saliva, de-wolf's Scott. "What did you do that for?" He inquires.
"Because I love you and I really don't give a sh*t that my favorite Aunt just died, or that I killed someone, and will, therefore, probably be traumatized for the rest of my life," Allison replies.
Allison, you DOG F*CKER, YOU!
Cue the schmoopy music. OK, I'm officially gagging now . . .
Lydia's a WHAT??!
After all is said and done, Scott and Stiles sneak back into the hospital to look in on a resting Lydia. After shutting the creakiest door on the planet behind them . . .
"I really shouldn't have eaten those beans, before killing the Alpha. WOW!"
. . . the besties examine her wounds, and find, to their shock and awe, that they did not heal, as Scott's did. This means that Lydia is NOT a werewolf, but . . . wait for it . . . SOMETHING ELSE."
"Seriously! Her hair is perfect! How did she do that? She must be an ALIEN from Planet Good Hair."
The Aftermath . . .
The episode ends with the Argents announcing that they have rallied the hunter troops to avenge Auntie Kate's death, and deal with whatever werewolfy problem is on the horizon for them.
Apparently, having one of their own publicly admonished for KILLING AN ENTIRE FAMILY, including a bunch of innocent kids, is going to make the Argents unpopular in town. WHO KNEW?
Allison doesn't care though, she's cuddling on the roof with Scott. PUSH THEM OFF! SOMEONE PLEASE PUSH THEM OFF! Looking out at the stars . . . and the Full Moon.
QUICK! STRANGLE HER! NO ONE WILL KNOW!
Wait, what? How is Scott human, during a full moon? Is it because Allison is KEEPING him that way WITH HER LOVE (blech!), or does it have something to do with Scott's "maker's" death. Only time will tell . . .
In the final scene of the episode, MORON Jackson returns to La Casa de Old and Decrepit to ONCE AGAIN beg NEW ALPHA DEREK to make him into a wolf . . .
And based on the Big Ole Once in a Lifetime Grin, Derek gets on his face, as he comes down the steps, he may just decide to oblige . . .
Bon Appetite, Derek! Now you may EAT!
And there you have it folks, an admittedly predictable, but definitely game-changing end to a surprisingly well-written and acted show's freshman first season. So, now it's your turn, Werebangers! What did you think of the finale? Was it all you hoped it would be?
Did you correctly guess: Which two characters would die? Who would turn into a wolf? Who would make out under the stars, while nauseatingly cheesy music blasted in the background?
Drop me a line in the comment section, and let me know!
"CALL ME!"
(P.S. In closing, I just want to say that I've had such a great time talking Teen Wolf with all of you, this season! So, to all you brilliant commenters, and loyal lurkers, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing this surprisingly fun and entertaining show with me. I look forward to doing it all over again with you guys, next summer!)
[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]
Tagged as #12, 1.12, 112, Allion's mom, Allison's dad, Allison's mom, alpha, animated gifs, Aunt Kate, basement, beta, bowling, Breakup, bus driver, chemistry teacher, cliches, cliffhanger, code breaker, Colton Hayes, condom, crossbow, Crystal Reed, Damon Salvatore, dance, Danny, Derek and Jackson, Derek and Kate, Derek and Stiles, Derek Hale, Derek is the alpha, Derek's uncle, Diles, dress, Dylan O'Brien, Episode 11, Episode 12, fire, formal, Formality, Hale house, high school, homoerotic, horror, hospital, hunter, J.R. Bourne, Jackson and Allison, Jackson and Derek, Jackson and Lydia, Kate and Derek, Kate dies, Keanu Kahuanui, lacross, lick, lie, love interest, love triangle, Lydia, Lydia and Jackson, molotov cocktail, mouth, movie poster, MTV, naked, new alpha, not a werewolf, nurse, Part 2, Peter Hale, pilot episode, prom, school, Scott and Allison, Scott and Lydia, Scott McCall, scott's mom, screencaps, screenshots, Season 2, season finale, sex, sexual tension, sheriff, shirtless, shirtless derek, Shirtless Tyler, shirtlessness, Sterek, Stiles, Stiles and Derek, Stiles and Lydia, Stiles' dad, supernatural, teen drama, Teen Wolf, the beast, the bite, The Vampire Diaries, Trailer, transformation, True Blood, Tyler Hoechlink, Tyler Lockwood, verterinarian, warehouse, wolf out, wolfed out, wolfs out
High Voltage, Higher Octane – A Recap of Teen Wolf's Season Finale, Part I "Formality"
AUNTIE KATE: "Come on, Werewolf! Show me your teeth . . . like in the Lady Gaga song!"
ALLISON: "Really Kate? You've got this hot specimen of man meat in front of you, and HIS MOUTH is the first thing you want to unzip pop open? Are you sure we're really related?"
How's it hanging, Werebangers? This is sure shaping up to be one heck of a season finale, isn't it? After weeks of speculation, and analysis, the Teen Wolf writers FINALLY seem to be giving us answers to the burning questions we've been asking ourselves all season.
And what better backrop for those jawdropping reveals than a High School Dance? (Well, in truth, some of those reveals came about in a vet's office, a mall, a warehouse torture chamber, a football field, inside a bus, and in the creepy forest, but still . . .)
So, ramp up your car to 75 in a 25 mph Construction Zone, let the Alpha help you pick out your pretty little dress, and give your gay best friend a big manly hug, because it's time to get this recap started . . .
(Once again, a big round of wolfy applause to my pal Andre, for the spectacular screencaps you see here. I couldn't have done it without you, Mister!)
Rattling the Cages . . .
"Sorry about the chains, and the electric shocks, Derek. These days, this is the only way I can get men to sleep with me."
"Formality" begins right where "Co-Captain" left off (well, actually, it begins a few hours after that time, but Allison conveniently "flashes back" for us, to fill in the blanks). As a tearful Allison is cruising through Beacon Hills in the rain . . .
"Does this camera angle make my face look fat?"
. . . she recalls Auntie Kate using poor Wolfed-Out (and deliciously shirtless) Derek as a science experiment in electrical conduction . . .
"How dry I am. How wet, I'll be. If I don't find . . . the bathroom key . . ."
We see a Crazy-Eyed Auntie Kate gleefully describing the Family Business, as Allison looks on in disgust and horror. Auntie Kate clearly never took a marketing class, because she SUCKS at selling her niece on the job of werewolf hunting. For example, coldly telling Allison that she sees Derek as nothing more than an animal, is a REALLY stupid thing to say to Allison . . . the girl who rescued a stray dog she accidentally hit with her car . . . a girl who wrote Peta about her father's "accidental shooting" of a mountain lion. Allison is CLEARLY an animal lover . . . just ask Scott . . .
Bestiality?
Auntie Kate's tactics of persuasion improve slightly, when she plays the "I can make you feel strong and powerful," card, and the "Your parents thought you were too immature and weak to know about this, but I think you can handle it. Because I believe in you," card.
These statements make Allison at least a little bit intrigued about what happens next. "So, what do I do now?" She inquires. "Go to the dance, and act like a normal teenage girl. Because after that . . you are going to help me catch the Second Beta."
Wait . . . the Second Beta? But that's Scott!
UH OH! I smell trouble . . .
If at First You Get a Speeding Ticket, Cry, Cry Again . . .
"I swear, Officer. I haven't been drinking. It's just that I have this werewolf in my basement, being electrocuted, as we speak. Surely, you understand."
Back in "Present Day," Allison is out on the road in the rain, having a Mini Meltdown over the information she just received, when Papa Stiles pulls her over for going 75 in a 25 mph Construction Zone IN THE RAIN. The fact that Allison is bawling her eyes out, and having a major mental meltdown, right there in the car, clearly gives Papa Stiles a hard-on softens Papa Stiles' heart, while keeping her from getting the speeding ticket she SO richly deserves right now.
"I also think she's kind of sexy. Shhhh. Don't tell Stiles."
I'd be lying if I said that I haven't tried this particular method of "Speeding Ticket" evasion. After all, what good is being a member of the "fairer sex," if you can't use that fact to your advantage, somehow? And yes, it works . . . just in case you happened to be curious . . . it works like a charm.
Coincidentally, so does THIS . . . not that I would know from personal experience.
Allison starts nuttily babbling on about how she's "not like this," and that she's "strong," and "should definitely get a ticket." By the time Allison is done with Poor Papa Stiles, he barely remembers his own name, let alone Allison's specific infraction(s). In fact, Allison's SO DAMN GOOD AT THIS, that she somehow manages to get Papa Stiles to BEG her not to have to give her a ticket. Now, THAT's what I'm talking about! Way to go, Allison!
"I know . . . I'm awesome."
With Papa Stiles out of earshot, a mask of calm falls over Allison's face, and a nefarious glint appears in her eye. "I'm OK," she says to herself, and as if to prove it, we get to see her SHOOT AN ARROW UP POOR DEREK HALE'S NOSE . . . well, at least the artist-sketched poster picture of his nose.
"She shoots . . ."
". . . she SCORES!"
(That's NOT cool, Allison. I don't think we can be friends, anymore.)
Meanwhile, Scott is shirtless (SURPRISE!), and still being felt up by That Veterinarian Everyone Used to Think Was the Alpha . . .
Beware of Alpha's carrying wooden desks . . .
VET: "You're obviously feeling lightheaded, from all the bloodloss. You should lie back down, and take off your pants. You will feel better."
SCOTT: "What does taking off my pants have to do with it?"
VET: "Well, that would make ME feel better . . ."
Our first big reveal of the hour happens in Scott's pants inside the vets office, where Uncle Alpha has come looking to "pick up" some precious shirtless cargo.
Uncle Alpha's inquiry seems consistent with those viewers who assumed that the vet was in league with the Big Bad Werewolf, and somehow, doing his bidding. However, the vet's response to Uncle Alpha smashes THAT theory to bits. Rising to eye-level with the Beast, Vet Man fixes his steely gaze on the villain, and tells him, in no uncertain terms that he will NOT deliver Scott to him.
*sings* "I'm sorry that you . . . seem to be confused . . . he belongs to me . . . THE BOY IS MINE!"
Uncle Alpha then attempts to threaten Vet Man, by showing some claw. However, Vet Man is two steps ahead of him. Apparently, the gate between the entrance way and Vet Man's office is either made with, or been covered by, "mountain ash," which keeps werewolves in their human form. Nice move, Vet Dude!
Of course, the absolute COOLEST part of the scene comes when Uncle Alpha lifts up a desk, and THROWS it right at the vet's stomach, only to find that his body can perfectly deflect the impact, a la Superman!
He has a stomach of steel . . . he neuters your pets., with a single pluck . . . they won't even feel it, when he shoots them in the ass with a rabies shot. He's . . . VET MAN!
"Rats! Foiled Again!"
In case you've been counting, that's Vet Man: 3, Alpha: 0. Three strikes, and your OUT! Don't let the door hit you, where the Good Lord split you . . . Of course, Uncle Alpha has a few choice words for Scott, before he leaves the vets office for good. Uncle Alpha wants his pack minion to know that if he doesn't straighten up, and fly right, the Alpha will . . . wait for it . . . KILL ALLISON!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO . . . wait . . . why am I still holding his key?"
Later, back at Scott's house . . .
Well, Well, Well . . . Look Who's FINALLY decided to play hero . . .
"This sounds like a job for . . . NON DOUCHEY SCOTT!"
Oh, Scottiepoo! For 10 episodes, you've pretty much walked around with your head up your ass . . . ignoring your wolfy responsibilities, while your smarter (Stiles) and hotter stronger (Derek) friends, did your dirty work for you.
Now, all the sudden, the finale is here, and you realize that, if you want to make your character likeable for Season 2, he's going to have to stop thinking about how to please his weiner all the time, and START kicking ass, and taking names . . .
"Hi, my name is Scott. What's yours?"
In this scene we find Scott and Stiles searching in vain for Scott's ever-elusive cell phone. (Dude! The things been taken from you and/or broken about twelve times since the series began. It's time to cut your losses, and invest in an iPhone. Or better yet, just HOWL. Trust me, your friends (all two of them) will hear you!
SCOTT: "Allison? Are you down here?"
STILES: "I thought you were looking for your phone?"
SCOTT: "Yeah, but it's been about 30 seconds since I said the word 'Allison.' I'm starting to go through withdrawal symptoms."
Scott frantically tells Stiles that they have to find and rescue Derek. In an intriguing reversal of roles, it is now the normally self-sacrificing Stiles who instructs Scott to just let Poor Derek rot away in that hunter warehouse (or should I say were-house). Stiles reminds Scott that, just last week, Derek seemed pretty intent on killing BOTH Jackson and Scott. However, I think the REAL reason Stiles doesn't want Derek rescued, is that he's jealous because Danny finds "Miguel" more attractive than Stiles of Derek's hot abs. (OK . . . no . . . I don't ACTUALLY think that. But, whatever . . .)
(That lame joke was just an excuse to use this GIF again . . .Oh, and while we're at it . . .)
Sorry . . . I just couldn't resist.
Scott, who is "connected" to Derek, through the whole "Pack Thing," explains to Stiles that Derek wasn't REALLY trying to kill anybody. Rather, he was attempting to protect Scott, and, by extension, Jackson, from both the Hunters, and the Alpha. Outside, Scott overhears his mother in her car leaving a rather clingy stalkerish message on Alpha's answering machine.
"Hi Uncle Alpha. This is Desperation calling. Please arrange another date with me, or I will be forced to do naughty things with my son's lacrosse stick."
Geez! Given how creepy and cold the Alpha seemed on the "couple's" first date, Mommy McCall must be REAL hard up for some loving to want a little Alpha in her! And, perhaps because she realizes that this, is in fact, the case, she proceeds to burst into tears.
(What . . . is there a "crying in cars" theme to this week's episode, about which I am unaware?)
Stiles instructs Scott that he can't protect ANYONE, because he's pretty much a selfish turd, who only cares about keeping Allison safe, and can give two figs about anyone else everyone.
"I have to," says Scott "bravely."
Is Scott's new foray into Superhero-dom too little, too late? Only time will tell . . .
Meanwhile, back in Auntie Kate's Torture Chamber / Were-house / S&M Pleasure Dome . . .
"Is that your tongue on my stomach, or are you just happy to see me?"
OH Derek, you can ravage me with those, "I want to murder you, in your sleep" eyes ANYDAY (and twice on Sunday!) . . .
The episode's second big reveal, happens during the S&M Scene between Derek and Kate. More and more, each week, Auntie Kate seems to prove what a ridiculously evil nutball she actually is . . . Now we see her holding Derek's New York drivers license to his face, and telling him to smile more. (I don't know, Auntie Kate. I kind of prefer my Derek mad and pouty, thank you very much!)
By the way, can anyone make out the Birth Year on Derek's license? I'm guessing it's either 86, 88, or 89 . . .
When Derek remarks that he would very much like to kick Auntie Kate in the face, the wackadoodle somehow interprets this as a COME ON.
All the sudden, Auntie Kate wants to reminisce about all the "Fun Times" she and Derek had together. "You mean when you burned down my house, and killed my entire family?" Derek asks angrily.
"I was thinking more of the really hot, and crazy sex we used to have!" Kate responds.
That's right, Werebangers! As many of us suspected, Kate and Derek used to do the DEED together, back in the day. What we DIDN'T know was that, much like with the Creepy Emo Chemistry Teacher, Kate played Derek (who must have been underage at the time) like a fiddle, to get what she wanted from him namely, to have her brains f*&ked out of her : information as to the whereabouts of the rest of his were family. So now, not only does Derek feel responsible for his own family's demise, and the rise of Uncle Alpha. He's also suffering from a Broken Heart. I mean, he actually fell in love with this Crazy B*tch!
(By the way, Vampire Diaries' fans, does this scenario REMIND you of anybody, in particular?)
"Kiss me, or kill me, Damon. Which will it be?"
(Special thanks to East Coast Captain, for this parallel. Though HE used Stefan and Katherine in HIS example . . .)
Having been given this information, I now feel like I have so much more insight into Derek's character, and why he is the way he is: i.e. uncommonly broody, unsmiling, not particularly trusting of others, and, perhaps, most importantly, perpetually single, despite looking like THIS . . .
Another aspect of Derek's character that makes a lot more sense now, is his broken-record insistence that Scott break all ties with Allison. Contrary to popular belief, he's not saying those things to be a cockblock! He simply doesn't want Scott to make the same mistakes that HE DID, by giving his trust, and his heart to a Were-Hunter, only to eventually have both irretrievably ripped from his chest!
Unfortunately, just as us Werebangers are putting the puzzle pieces together, so is Auntie Kate. And it is by using the above-reference that KATE finally figures out that the second Beta is not Jackson at all, but, rather Scott.
Uh Oh . . .
Before our brains can fully process all the information we've just been given, those PERVS over in the Teen Wolf writing department treat us to the sexiest, raunchiest, and arguably most disturbing example of foreplay, I've seen in a while. I mean, I definitely needed a cold shower after watching this, both to water down my raging hormones, and to wash that dirty feeling off of me.
In the scene, Auntie Kate decides to torture a handcuffed, electroshocked, sweaty and shirtless Derek (who, thankfully, is back in his sexy human form), by licking his stomach, starting in the crotch area, and slowly working her way up to his neck.
Tyler Hoechlin plays the scene brilliantly, as someone who's overcome with hatred for his torturer, but who can't help but become aroused by what she's doing to him, and the memory it undoubtedly evokes in both his psyche and his . . . um . . . yahoo place. 🙂
Derek's fangs come out, in the werewolf (and vampire form of an erection), as he bucks and grunts, tears filling his eyes, trying to keep his body from having its natural response to being licked. His face turns down toward the Evil Auntie Kate, and he has to fight the urge to kiss her, with all his might. The humilation and emasculation he is undoubtedly feeling in this very moment, is far worse than any physical pain Auntie Kate can inflict on Derek. And, of course, PHYSICAL PAIN is about to become an issue, as well . . .
Once Auntie Kate has had her way with Derek, she sicks Mr. Clean, "The Enforcer" on his ass . . .
Speaking of pain, ever since he and Allison have "broken up," Creeper Scott has apparently taken to sitting on her roof, and watching her sleep. Now, if you asked him about this, he'd probably say he's just "keeping her safe." But really, he's just being icky. Seeing him there, I also couldn't help but wonder whether Allison's Wet Scott Dreams were more based in reality than I had initially thought.
Nevertheless, when Scott dozed off, and fell off the roof, I left my ass off, because dude DESERVED IT, BIG TIME, as far as I was concerned.
I mean, I don't care how attracted I am to a person, I REALLY don't want them watching me sleep from my window. It's probably not a pretty sight . . .
Also, HOW THE HECK do Allison's parents NOT KNOW that there's a DUDE ON THEIR ROOF, EVERY NIGHT? Hunters FAIL!
"DO IT, for Allison!"
We are treated to yet another locker room scene in this episode . . .
Unfortunately, this time, everyone seems to be wearing a disappointing amount of clothing . . .
During this scene, Coach Cupcake confirms our suspicions that Scott is a Mental Midget, because he's failing two classes, and doing fairly lousy in all his other ones. Normally, coaches pad good athletes grades to make sure they don't flunk out bad grades like Scott's would spell an end to his lacrosse career. However, Coach Cupcake has brokered a compromise: Scott can stay on the team, provided he misses the school dance. Really? THAT'S A COMPROMISE? Sounds like Scott got off kind of easy to me.
"I concur!"
Of course, to Scott, the idea of not being able to use the school dance as an opportunity to get back inside the Argent pantalones is a fate worse than DEATH! Worried for Allison's safety from a hungry vengeance-seeking Alpha, Scott approaches Jackson, and asks HIM to take Allison to the dance in his place.
"What's the matter, Jackson? Got a bad case of deja vu?"
My first thought, of course, was, Why not just ask Stiles to do it? After all, he is ALWAYS RIGHT!
Well . . . we'll see why he didn't, later. 😉
I suspect one of the purposes of this episode was to make Jackson seem as patently unlikeable as possible. Otherwise, I'm a bit confused by his reaction to this request. I mean, I get that Jackson was only seducing Allison to get under Scott's skin. But, really . . . Jackson is a heterosexual (maybe?) teenage boy, and Allison's a HOT GIRL, who's not a total b*tch. Plus, he genuinely did seem to like her, at least as a friend, during some of the earlier episodes.
And yet, by the way Jackson reacted to Scott's request, you would think he was asking him to insert a claw down his throat . . . oh wait . . . he already did that. 😉
In fact, Scott actually has to WOLF OUT on Jackson to get him to agree to take Allison to the dance. Weird . . .
The scene ends with a Bromantic Stiles and Scott moment, in which Stiles eagerly agrees to help the poverty striken Scott somehow find clothing and a ride to a dance he's not allowed to attend, even though there will be lots of people there who would like to see him dead. All together now: Maybe Jackson had a point, when he said that these two should screw eachother AWWWW!
Thank you Macy's, for your SUPER SUBTLE Product Placement . . .
After last week, when Allison not-so-subtly threatened Lydia with her archery skills, and massive weapons arsenal, the stuffy red head decided she better do something to get herself back into Allison's good graces, after making out with her "ex" boyfriend, and FAST. Lydia's solution: buy Allison a dress for the school dance.
Sounds like a pretty good apology, right? But Allison wants MORE. She wants Lydia to change her date to the formal from Random Extra Dude to This GUY! (YIPPEE)
It's interesting that Lydia doesn't make any mention at all of the fact that Allison is attending the dance with HER ex-boyfriend, who she is clearly not yet over. I mean, on one hand, her previous actions, put her not really in the place to say anything. On the other hand, wouldn't THIS already make them even, without the dress and the date change. Not that I'm complaining, of course. As you know, I love me some Liles (Stydia?).
Somehow, Allison finds herself separated from Lydia and Stiles. So, of course, the minute she's alone, a leering Uncle Alpha makes his appearance. (Honestly, this part was kind of lame. I mean, even if Scott and the rest of the Scooby Gang DIDN'T find Allison, Uncle Alpha REALLY wasn't going to be able to do her any harm, in this crowded of a place. Then again, maybe he was just doing this to prove a point. More on that later . . .)
By the way, WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH UNCLE ALPHA'S HAIR?
Anywhoo, apparently, Uncle Alpha is the Tim Gunn of Teen Wolf, because he had all these random fashion tips for Allison about what dress would best suit her coloring.
"Make it work, Allison!"
Uncle Alpha can be pretty darn persuasive, when he wants to be (even without wolf pack mind control powers). And Allison ultimately selects the silver dress the costume department Uncle Alpha chose for her, instead of the darker colored one she had originally chosen. Oddly enough, Lydia goes with a silvery dress too, which you would think she would avoid at all costs, so as not to look like she had coordinated dresses with Allison, but . . . whatever.
Long story short, Scott sees Uncle Alpha making a move on his girl, and just like he did with his mom before him, Scott stages a distraction, in the form of having her car towed, to get her out of harms way. Uncle Alpha repeats that he is impressed with Scott's "dedication to the cause." However, he reminds Scottipoo that "he can't be everywhere all the time." As I suggested in an earlier paragraph, I'm pretty sure that Uncle A's accosting Allison in the mall, was meant more to prove the above point, than to do anything more harmful to her person.
"Go out and get yourself laid, Son! (At least ONE person in this family should be getting some.)
"Well, at least it's easy access."
Back at the McCall crib, Scott has found himself a natty, ill-shapen ripped up suit to wear to the dance. Mama McCall (who never offered to buy her son a suit) makes up for this infraction, somewhat, by offering to sew up this ugly one for him. While she does this, she wonders out loud why Scott didn't just find another dance partner, after Allison dumped his ass. (Of course, Mommy McCall has NO idea that Scott isn't allowed to be attending the dance AT ALL, let alone with a DATE.)
In a scene that was equal parts sweet, nauseating, and WAY TOO LONG for my taste, Mommy encourages Scotty Dearest to tell Allison that he loves her, before it's too late. Yes, Mommy McCall, because HIGH SCHOOL is all about finding "The One." Drunken flings, and random hook-ups, be DAMNED! That being said, I very much approved of Mommy McCall telling her son not to be a dumbass. Truer words were never spoken.
Good Ole, Danny! (He's one of the Best Looking Plot Devices I've Ever Seen . . .)
I've shown it once before, but it bears repeating . . .
Outside in the parking lot, Jackson is in his car, drinking from a flask, because apparently he needs to be wasted to go to a dance with a hottie like Allison. (Seriously, what the f*&k is wrong with this douchebag? What the writers are doing with this character is stretching the realms of believeability . . .) Realizing that Jackson's going to be about as much fun as root canal, Allison steps out of the car, and smiles broadly, when she sees Scott running across the roof of the school. And suddenly all the lame, random, plot driven reasons why she dumped him are all is forgiven, between them. After all, it could be worse, she could be dating JACKSON.
Somebody who WANTS to be dating Jackson very badly is Lydia, who seems more than a bit distracted when the goofy but adorable Stiles, opens the passenger side door of his jeep, allowing her to practically fall out of it. When Jackson all but ignores Lydia in the parking lot, she is crushed. Fortunately, sweetheart Stiles is there to tell her how pretty she looks in her Allison look-alike dress . . .
At the dance, an awesome song is playing that I will be downloading onto my iPod, as soon as I finish writing this recap, thank you very much! It is called "Just a Little Bit," by Kids of 88, and it's pretty awesome.
Scott enters the dance, only to find himself cornered by BOTH Coach Cupcake, and Uncle Alpha at the SAME TIME. (OK, who the f*&k let Uncle Alpha into the dance? Because that's the oldest looking 16-year old I've ever seen!)
Guess he didn't like that, huh?
I usually make fun of Scott's idiocy, but I have to say, that his impromptu "dance with Danny," in order to prevent Coach Cupcake from publicly kicking him out of the dance (He would have looked like a total homophobe, and probably got sued, or fired, if he did.) was pretty inspired thinking.
"May I cut in?"
And, of course, once again, Danny gets used and abused as the Gay Plot Device. Here's hoping Ole Danny Boy gets some storylines of his own, next season, because he seems pretty cool. (And so does his hot boyfriend, for that matter. . . )
Dance Until You Die?
Since neither Jackson nor Lydia seem interested in dancing, both Allison and Stiles must engage in a little creative persuasion to get their respective dates onto the dance floor. My favorite of the two, not surprisingly, was Stiles, who was TOTALLY channeling early Season 1 Seth Cohen, when he told Lydia to "get off her cute little ass and dance with him," since he "had a crush on her since the third grade," and "is the only one who knows how truly smart she is."
As if all that wasn't adorable enough, Stiles tells Lydia that he suspects she will get a Nobel Prize for solving some complex Mathematical Equation. And she corrects him, by noting that she will be getting a Fields Price, not a Nobel. The two slow dance together, for a while. And Lydia, actually seems fairly into it, with her head tucked carefully into the crook of the not-so-tall Stiles' neck.
Unfortunately, Lydia can't help but notice that Jackson has wandered off. Stiles senses her concerns and agrees to accompany her, while she searches for him, to make sure he's OK.
It's actually kind of sad, because Lydia does TRULY seem to love and care about Jackson. However, he's way too shallow, and into himself, to ever genuinely return those feelings. Once again, Team Liles for Season 2! (Assuming Lydia makes it there alive.)
While the rest of the gang is outside, doing productive things, Scott and Allison are dancing close together. He finally admits that he loves her, and, blah, blah, blah lkjfslkjfsldkfjs;lkj . . . that was my head hitting the keyboard, because I just fell asleep typing these last two sentences . . .
Scott tries to talk to Allison about the whole Werewolf & Werehunter / Romewolf & Juliet Thing, but Allison, who is determined to enjoy her last few hours as a "normal teenage girl" (whatever that is), doesn't really want to hear it . . .
Out in the creepy forest, a drunken Jackson weebles and wobbles (but doesn't fall down). In the distance he sees two familiar red orbs, that he assumes are the eyes of the Alpha.
In a truly pathetic moment, Jackson prostrates himself on the ground, begging the Alpha to "Become like [him]." (By the way, was anybody else hoping he'd get EATEN in this scene? Because I sure was!)
"BITE ME!"
Alas, the red orbs didn't come from a hungry Alpha ready to eat Jackson, they were from the Papa Argent and his hunter's infrared flashlights. "I'm sorry. I can't give you what you want," Papa Argent tells a sniveling Jackson. "But maybe you can help me."
"You should have seen what a moron you looked like out there. That was HILARIOUS!"
Within minutes, Jackson sings like a canary, giving Scott up as the second Beta. (Of course, Auntie Kate figured this out HOURS ago. However, apparently she has been keeping her S&M games with Derek a secret from the rest of the Hunters, and they have NO idea, where she is, or what she is up to . . .)
Elsewhere, Lydia rushes to the football field in search of Jackson, but finds Uncle Alpha, and his razor sharp teeth, instead. Stiles screams for her to run, but it is too late.
She is bitten . . . A LOT, and falls unconscious.
"What are you talking about Stiles? There's nobody behind me!"
Uncle Alpha promises not to kill her (though from the looks of next week's promo, he may have already . . . unless she's been TURNED), provided Stiles inform him where Derek is. Stiles, honestly, has no clue where Sexy McWolf is hiding. However, he cleverly reasons, that Derek knew he would be captured at La Casa de Old and Decrepit, which was why he stole Scott's cell phone. Since all cell phones have GPS, Uncle Alpha can use this feature to track Derek to the hunters lair, which, of course, is EXACTLY what Auntie Kate wants . . . aside from more Derek lollipop licks, of course.
If This Bus is a Rockin' . . .
Elsewhere, Scott and Allison have stopped dancing. And Allison gets the SUPER TACKY idea that Scott should screw her on a school bus . . . nevermind that some dude DIED ON THERE, a few weeks back. School buses are ROMANTIC! What with those super comfy green seats, and the omnipresent smell of teenage body odor, intermingled with rotten lunch? Who wouldn't want to bone on a school bus?
Anywhoo, Allison rushes onto the bus, and motions for Scott to follow. But, just when he is about to do so, Papa Argent and the other hunters come at him, in their cars at full speed from all sides.
"Go Speed Argent, GO!"
Scott has nowhere to run, and Allison is certain that he will be squished like a bug.
Instead, he jumps on top of the cars, wolfing out right in front of Allison for the first time, just as Papa Argent suspected he would. Allison looks horrified.
Wolf Scott looks sad.
"To Be Continued" appears on the screen . . .
Oh the humanity of cliffhangers!
Next week's trailer promises a major death, and a major werewolf transformation. Personally, I would LOVE to see Lydia turn werewolf. Because wouldn't that just TOTALLY dust Jackson's doilies?
"Wahhh! Why couldn't it be MEEEEEE?"
Also, I REALLY don't want her to die, because I'm eager to see how her relationship with Stiles plays out in Season 2 . . . 😉
As for major deaths, my money is on either Papa Argent or Auntie Kate. Jackson is a possibility too, of course, but that might slice the "young cast" down too much for fans' taste. And besides, we wouldn't get to see nearly as much of Danny, if his best friend croaked, now would we?'
(Plus, then we would never be able to answer the burning question of whether he finds Stiles attractive!)
So, now I turn the proverbial microphone over to you, Werebangers! What did you think of "Formality?" Was it everything you wanted it to be? What's on your wish list for Part II? And who are your choices to win the awards for Newest Werewolf and Deadest Cast Member, respectively. Sound off in the comment section, if you DARE!
Tagged as #11, 1.11, 111, Allison and Jackson, Allison's dad, Allison's mom, alpha, animated gifs, Aunt Kate, basement, beta, bowling, Breakup, bus driver, chemistry teacher, cliches, Colton Hayes, condom, Crystal Reed, Damon Salvatore, dance, Danny, Derek and Jackson, Derek and Kate, Derek and Stiles, Derek Hale, Derek's uncle, Diles, dress, Dylan O'Brien, Episode 11, Formality, high school, homoerotic, horror, hunter, J.R. Bourne, Jackson and Allison, Jackson and Derek, Jackson and Lydia, Kate and Derek, Keanu Kahuanui, lacross, lick, lie, love interest, love triangle, Lydia, Lydia and Jackson, mouth, movie poster, MTV, naked, nurse, Peter Hale, pilot episode, school, Scott and Allison, Scott and Lydia, Scott McCall, scott's mom, screencaps, screenshots, sex, sexual tension, sheriff, shirtless, shirtless derek, Shirtless Tyler, shirtlessness, Sterek, Stiles, Stiles and Derek, Stiles and Lydia, Stiles' dad, supernatural, teen drama, Teen Wolf, the beast, The Vampire Diaries, Trailer, transformation, True Blood, Tyler Hoechlink, Tyler Lockwood, verterinarian, warehouse, wolf out, wolfed out, wolfs out
August 2, 2011 · 10:22 am
The Family That Slays Together . . . – A Recap of Teen Wolf's "Co-Captain"
Uncle Alpha: "Come on, Scotty Boy! We've got family business to attend to: places to see, people to kill, woodlands to frolic through!"
Scott: "Ummm . . . OK . . . just give me a minute to get dressed."
Uncle Alpha: "NO! No clothing!"
Derek: "Clothing is BAD and EVIL!"
Uncle Alpha: "Feel free to take another shower, though . . ."
Welcome back, Werebangers! Can you believe there are only two more episodes left in this season? Two more hours of hot boys doing chin-ups and bench presses . . .
. . . stroking their man-meat, after a long hot shower . . .
. . . and running half-naked through the woods, like it's their job?
Oh . . . and I guess I'll miss the plot too . . .
To be perfectly honest, I was a little skeptical coming into this episode. After all, we spent Episode 1 through 9 speculating as to the Alpha's identity. And now that Episode 10 is here, that question has already been answered. I worried that with the Big Mystery out of the way, the final three episodes of Teen Wolf would end up being a bit . . . how do I put this kindly . . . anti-climactic.
Fortunately, I had nothing to worry about. Though "Co-Captain" was a bit disjointed for my taste (and I really could have done without all the hippy folk music that played in the background, everytime Scott and Allison reunited), it absolutely held my interest, answered a lot of lingering questions I had about the series, and ended on a MAJOR cliffhanger that left me "hungry" for more.
So, pour your dad an extra tumblr of whiskey, ship your mom off on her date with the Friendly Neighborhood Serial Killer, and lock that guy (or girl) you've been crushing on in the basement, so he (or she) can't escape, because it's time for another Teen Wolf recap . . .
(Once again, special thanks to my good pal, Andre, for the fabulous screencaps you see here.)
Scott McCall – The CLEANEST WEREWOLF EVER!
Oh no, Scott! Your recently washed body is now rolling around on the dirty boy's locker room floor! I guess it's time for yet another shower, huh? 😉
With all the drama of the Big Alpha Reveal, I almost completely forgot that "Wolf's Bane" ended with a lacrosse game! Thank you, writers for not forcing me to actually watch it reminding me. Of course, Beacon Hills won (Don't they always?). And now, thanks to the "excellent leadership" of Co-Captains, Douchey Mc Doucheybag and Scott the Crying Wolf, the team has advanced all the way to the State competition!
(Either that, or THIS guy has some strange disease that forces him to spout out random words, over and over again, ad nauseam, until someone beats the sh*t out of him, for being so annoying . . .)
Scott doesn't seem quite as excited as his teammates by the victory. After all, this Teen Wolf has bigger fish to fry. There's an Evil Alpha on the loose, and he hasn't heard from his bestie, Stiles, in HOURS! But, then of course, Allison shows up with her blinky doe eyes, and her "MY HERO!" flirtations. And suddenly, Scott is like "Stiles who?"
Allison: "Dude, what's more important? The fact that your best friend might be dead, or the fact that I am wearing a really low cut shirt, that allows you a nifty little peek at my boobies?"
Scott: "Is this a trick question?"
Was it just me, or did Allison kind of seem like she underwent Personality Transplant Surgery, this week (and don't even get me STARTED on Derek)? Just last week, she was all "Don't call me!" and "I need time, before I can become your friend," and "Do these jeans make my ass look fat?" (Just kidding on that last one, by the way). Now, all the sudden, she's back on the Scott Train, requesting a round trip ticket to Pleasureland, doggy-style. Now, granted, perhaps, this has something to do with her overhearing that weepy speech Scott gave to Allison's father . . .
But still, a little transition might have been nice, don't you think? Then again, Allison pretty much dumped Scott for no reason, in the first place, so . . . whatever.
Then Jackson appears, which means its time for him to once again sing his "I want to be furry, just like you" theme song to Scott . . .
Jackson too seems to have changed his tune a bit, since the last episode. Back in "Wolf's Bane," Jackson was full of vim and vigor, and Big Bad Manly Threats, cautioning Scott, that if he didn't somehow managed to turn him into a werewolf, Jackson would see to it that he lost Allison FOREVER! He even included a creepy whispered timeline on the threat a la that chick from The Ring: "Three days," he said, before amorously licking Scott's earlobe.
However, sometime during the lacrosse game, Jackson apparently decided that you catch more werewolves with honey than with vinegar (or . . . maybe that was flies . . . I don't know). So, this time, Jackson approaches Scott with a NEW plan: If Scott can help Jackson become a werewolf in THREE DAYS, Jackson will HELP Scott get Allison back in time for the Big Dance!
Well, isn't HE Mr. Self-Sacrifice? First, Jackson dumps Lydia for Allison, and now he seems more than willing to give up Allison on Scott's behalf . . . and all for some pointy teeth, and a cheap pair of colored contacts . . . Then again, everybody knows that Jackson is secretly in love with Derek, anyway. So, all if this is probably no big deal to him.
"You had me at 'I wanna break your face.'"
Next up is a Men's Locker Room Scene. And you know what that means, Werebangers! Cue the obligatory Wet Scott Wearing Nothing But a Towel Shot . . .
Never . . . gets . . . old.
In fact, I think Scott's towel-wearing physique has mind control powers! Last week, Derek promptly forgave Scott for TOTALLY selling him out to the local cops, and making him look like a serial killer. This week, Derek's (or should I say "Miguel's") new best friend, Danny seems EXTREMELY willing to forgive Scott for the MAJOR BEAT DOWN he gave him during practice, two weeks ago, in "Lunatic."
"Apology accepted," remarks Danny to Scott from across the lockers, while sporting a physique to rival the Great Teen Wolf's . . .
For some reason, I love when a guy has just ONE dimple, on his cheek, instead of two matching ones on either side. There's just something really sexy about that . . . It's as if, on the right side, he's just a boy, but on the left side and down below he's ALL MAN!
According to Danny, Scott spent the entire lacrosse game passing the ball to HIM, thereby, helping him to become the game's lead scorer. Scott tries to shrug off the compliment, like it's no big deal, but it does seem as though this was a conscious effort on Scott's part. If nothing else, Scott's "dude-approved" non-verbal "apology" to Danny illustrates that he is FINALLY learning to keep his inner-wolf at bay, while on the field. And, I expect we have Stiles' Yoda-like training to thank for that . . .
The Alpha Sure Gives Good Neck Rubs . . .
Suddenly, it's dark in the locker room, and Scott is alone (and still undressed) yet again.
Question: Why does it take Scott so much longer to get dressed than everyone else? Is it because he takes like TWENTY SHOWERS a day, perhaps? I just don't understand how he always ends up in these situations . . .
But wait . . . Scott isn't alone. Here comes a BALL . . .
"Phew, it's been a long hard day on the lacrosse field. I was planning to take a long hot shower. Care to join me, Scott?"
Following that ball is Derek . . .
"Dude, why are you wearing SO MUCH CLOTHING? We're in a locker room, for heaven sakes! This is SACRILEGE! I COMMAND you to take off your shirt!"
This locker room is getting fuller by the minute. But wait, there's more partygoers on the guest list . . . like, for example, THIS GUY . . .
Yep, it would seem that, at some point between this week's episode and last week's that Derek and Uncle Alpha kissed and made up. Now, Derek seems TOTALLY on Team Alpha. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he was wearing a "Team Alpha" t-shirt under that Brooding Anti-hero leather jacket of his. When Scott questions him as to what exactly happened to make him COMPLETELY change sides, Derek gives minimalistic zombie-like "I totally just drank this guy's Kool-Aid" responses. He even goes as far as to chalk up Uncle Alpha's murder of his own sister to "It happens."
With all due respect, Derek, THIS does not just "happen" . . .