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Parshas Yisro
Likkutei Sichos Parshas Yisro-The pleasure in submission-The novelty of Matan Torah & our complete surrender to G-d
Created January 24, 2019
Category Parshas Yisro
This Sicha is an excerpt from our Sefer
The pleasure in submission-The novelty of Matan Torah & our complete surrender to G-d
(Likkutei Sichos Vol. 36 Sicha 2[1])
In Parshas Yisro, the most important and momentous event in world history in general, and Jewish history in particular, is retold. In this Parsha we are told of the revelation of G-d on Mount Sinai and the receiving of the Torah by the Jewish people. The revelation on Mount Sinai did not just represent the start of the Jewish religion but represented as well the selecting of the Jewish people as G-d's chosen nation. The receiving of the Torah on Mount Sinai was the climax and purpose of the Exodus from Egypt, as G-d had related to Moshe that he took the Jewish people out from Egypt for the sake of giving the Jewish people the Torah. One most peculiar event that occurred during the ceremony of the giving of the Torah is that G-d raised a mountain over the Jewish nation and threatened them to accept it, or else. This strange action on the part of G-d seems to question the entire validity of the ceremony, and as well begs for explanation as to why it was even necessary if the Jewish people had already excitingly agreed to accept the Torah prior. In this talk, the Rebbe explains the necessity behind placing the mountain over the Jewish people, and derives a most magnificent lesson behind our relationship with G-d, and the advantage of submissiveness and subjugation. The general perspective of the world is that slavery is the opposite of freedom, and the opposite of happiness. While this may be true in other respects, regarding a Jew's service of G-d, the opposite is correct and that being a slave of G-d is what brings true freedom and happiness. From here we learn a new insight into the great pleasure that can be found in the act of submissiveness that cannot be found by one who is so-called free and independent.
Explorations of the Sicha:
1. Why did G-d force a mountain over our heads if we were willing to accept the Torah regardless?
2. What great merit did the Jewish people have that made them deserve the reward of getting redeemed from Egypt?
3. Why does G-d want us to serve Him as a slave and not merely as a son?
4. Can slavery be something good, and can it actually be the key to true freedom?
1. G-d forcing the mountain over our heads:
The Sages[2] state that at Matan Torah, Hashem placed a mountain [Har Kigigis] over our heads, threatening that it would become the place of our burial if we refused to accept the Torah. Based on this threat, the Gemara concludes that we did not truly accept the Torah until the times of Achashveirosh. This, however, begs the following question: In truth, we had already agreed to accept the Torah prior to the threat of the mountain. We had recited Naaseh Venishmah several days before the episode with the mountain.[3] Furthermore, the Rishonim[4] state a tradition that when we were told in Egypt that we would receive the Torah, we became exceedingly excited to the point that each individual Jew on his own began counting down the days until Matan Torah. This eventually became known as the Mitzvah of Sefiras Haomer.[5] Hence, what purpose did the threatening mountain serve and why was this step of coercion even necessary?
This can be understood through us first exploring a different issue, relating to what merited the Jewish people to be redeemed from Egypt to begin with.
The various answers in Mefarshim for why Hashem placed the mountain over us:
1. Naaseh Vinishma came later: According to some Midrashim[6], we only recited Naaseh Vinishma after the episode with the mountain being placed over our heads, and hence there is no contradiction in this matter.
2. So the Jewish people have an excuse to escape punishment for sinful behavior: Rashi[7] explains that Hashem placed the mountain over our heads in order to give us room to defend ourselves in case of sin, by claiming that we were forced into the relationship.
3. To prevent us from backing out: Tosafus[8] writes that although the Jewish people had already exclaimed their willingness to receive the Torah, nonetheless, G-d placed the mountain over their heads due to the fear that they may back out after they saw the great fire which caused their souls to leave their bodies.
4. Din of Annusa: The Rashba explains that the reason G-d placed the mountain over our heads was to force us into a relationship with Him in a way that He could never divorce us, even if we sin. The law is that a man who rapes a woman must marry her, if she agrees, and may never divorce her, and G-d likewise wanted to make his relationship with the Jewish people be permanent in a way that divorce is not an option, and so he can never choose in the future to pick another nation. Therefore, He placed a mountain over us to give us the Halachic status of an Annusa.
5. The mountain is metaphoric to love: The Alter Rebbe[9] explains the meaning of this event, based on Chassidus, to refer not to an external threat of a physical mountain, but rather to a metaphorical description of our motivations and eager desire to accept the Torah at that time. The term Har [mountain] refers to a very high level of love of G-d. The term Gigis, which is a bucket, represents a passion that encompasses every fiber of our being. When the Jewish people left Egypt, they were going from the depths of physical suffering to the epitome of luxury, and they witnessed countless nature-breaking miracles performed by Hashem. At Kerias Yam Suf, every Jew experienced a revelation of G-dliness and prophecy greater than that experienced by any of the prophets of the later generations. We were the recipients of an unparalleled boundless show of love from Hashem. All this naturally aroused an indescribable passion and love for Hashem and His Torah, and it is therefore no wonder that we were willing and excited to receive it. This then is the meaning of being forced with a mountain over our heads to accept the Torah, as the loving actions of Hashem "forced" upon us such a strong love for Him that we were emotionally blinded in our decision to accept the Torah. Thus, the acceptance of the Torah at that time was tainted by the emotional state of mind we were in, and hence could not be considered a complete acceptance.
Without negating the above explanations, the Rebbe in this talk offers a new insight and understanding into this mountain threat that was placed over us, as will be explained towards the end of the talk.
2. Under which basis did the Jewish people merit to be redeemed from Egypt:[10]
When G-d implored Moshe to accept the mission of helping redeem the Jewish people and proclaiming to them the redemption, Moshe pushed back by asking under what merit the Jewish people will be given this kindness of being redeemed. Moshe knew that the removal of an entire enslaved nation from within another nation will require nature breaking miracles in order so it succeed, and he therefore pressed G-d as to why G-d would do all these miracles for the Jewish people, and under what merit. G-d responded to Moshe that the Jewish people will be redeemed in the merit of receiving the Torah.[11] In the words of Midrash[12], "G-d responded to Moshe that he should be aware that in the merit of the Torah that they will accept in the future on this mountain, they will be redeemed."
According to the above Midrash, it ends up that the Jewish people in truth did not have any current merits to reward them with a redemption from Egypt, and it was only due to merits that they would receive in the future that G-d decided to redeem them in a miraculous fashion. This is quite wondrous, as it is unclear as to how a matter which has not yet occurred can serve in the merit of the Jewish people? Seemingly, one can argue that in truth the Jewish people did not have any merits to have them deserve a miraculous redemption, and G-d was simply relating to Moshe that He is willing to do so as an investment to have the Jewish nation accept the Torah. Or, alternatively, one can say that the merit for which the Jewish people would leave Egypt, is the merit of the Torah and not the merit of the Jewish people. Meaning, that the Torah is so great that for its merit G-d will make a nation leave Egypt in order so they can accept it. Practically, however, from the wording of Rashi it seems unlike any of the above possibilities, as Rashi explicitly writes that the future acceptance of the Torah by the Jewish people, is the merit that they have standing on their behalf to help them get redeemed.
Now, even if it was possible to argue that somehow G-d considers a person meritorious even for good deeds that he has yet to do, if G-d knows that he will do them in the future, it is not clear at all how receiving the Torah was considered a good deed of the Jewish people. After all, as we stated above, the sages teach us that G-d forced us to accept it by placing a mountain over our heads and threatened to bury us right there and then if we do not accept it, hence, how can us accepting the Torah under these circumstances be listed in our merit. Furthermore, the mere fact that G-d told Moshe that we would accept the Torah on the mountain in the future, would indeed force this to happen, and removed our freedom of choice of making our own decision in the matter. Hence, it is not clear at all how our acceptance of the Torah is even considered a merit, not to mention that even if it is considered a merit, it is a merit that has not yet occurred. For us to consider our future receiving of the Torah which was done out of coercion as a merit to the level deserving of reward of being redeemed from Egypt with miracles and wonders, is mind-boggling. How can the person get rewarded for something that he did not have a choice in doing?
Hence, due to all the above questions on the merit of receiving the Torah, we must conclude that the intent of "merit" mentioned in the Midrash does not necessarily refer to the actual receiving of the Torah in the future, but rather to something in the present that occurred prior to the Exodus while the Jewish people were still enslaved in Egypt. There must have been some merit that the Jewish people already had before the redemption which relates to the receiving of the Torah for which the Jewish people merited redemption. We will now explore what this was.
3. The anticipation of the Jewish people to receive the Torah:
As stated above, when the Jewish people were informed that they would be receiving the Torah on Mount Sinai at the end of 50 days from the Exodus, they became filled with excitement. Now, when did Moshe inform the Jewish people that they would eventually receive the Torah? The Rishonim[13] imply that Moshe informed the Jewish people that they would receive the Torah, at the same time that he informed them that they will be redeemed. This was the first mission that G-d gave Moshe prior to the start of the plagues, to gather all the elders of the Jewish people and tell them of the imminent redemption, and Moshe used that opportunity as well to tell them of the fact that they will eventually serve G-d on this mountain, and receive the Torah. Now, although the verse does not explicitly state that G-d told Moshe to tell the Jewish people of this matter of them receiving the Torah, there is no reason to assume that Moshe would hide this information from them until they were redeemed, and hence certainly he informed them of it right away, as write the Rishonim.
Now, as soon as Moshe informed the Jewish people of the above, they became filled with anticipation for the future redemption as well as for the receiving of the Torah, and actually began counting down the days. It is this anticipation that the Jewish people felt to receive the Torah that served in their merit to be redeemed from Egypt. Furthermore, independent of the actual anticipation to receive the Torah which served in their merit, this anticipation also revealed that the coercion of the mountain over their heads was not necessary at all and that they truly desired to receive the Torah with their own free will. Hence, their future acceptance of the Torah, as well as their current anticipation for it, gave them enough merits to be rewarded with the redemption, as this desire and anticipation was done with their own free will and not out of coercion.
Now, we need to explore what exactly the Jewish people were anticipating in their acceptance of the Torah, as after all, the Torah is filled with laws and statutes, 613 of them to be exact, and therefore why were the Jewish people so excited to take upon themselves new restrictions and laws.
What were the Jewish people anticipating exactly?
One of the greatest beliefs and rights discussed in today's society is that of freedom and liberty. Monarchies have been overthrown, dictatorships have been quashed, all in the call of freedom. Societies have created a democratic form of government in which the people are the ones who hold their power and create their own laws and liberties based on a majority system. The concept of a monarchy or dictatorship in which a single person creates laws on behalf of the people is viewed with contempt and is certainly the opposite of freedom. Accordingly, it is not understood why the Jewish people would anticipate receiving the Torah, if the acceptance of the Torah means the acceptance of 613 biblical commands with myriads of rabbinical restrictions to follow, which would take total control of their lives. The Jewish people had just been through backbreaking slavery in Egypt for the past several generations and were finally anticipating getting redeemed. Hence, why on earth would they now excitingly anticipate entering a new form of slavery, to become servants of G-d and be bound and restricted with thousands of commands.
The answer to this question lies in the fact that Judaism is not just a dry religion of instructions and commands, but is a real relationship between man and G-d similar to that of husband and wife. The Jewish people contained a deep love and appreciation for G-d and anticipated entering a relationship with Him by Mount Sinai. Now, although even by a relationship between a husband and wife, no wife wants to hear her husband give her 613 commands that she must keep when they get married, nonetheless, the Jewish people anticipated these commands from G-d as in truth these commands are the forms in how the Jewish people can connect to G-d and form the relationship. The Jewish religion is not about controlling the person but rather about giving him the tools in how to make the relationship happen, and how he can bind and attach to G-d whom he loves. G-d gave us 613 ways of doing so, and we anticipated this capability of Dveikus with great fervor and passion.
We will now discuss a further and deeper point in this relationship between man and G-d, which is that man not only desires to attach to G-d, but desires to become nullified to Him and be submissive to Him like a slave to a master.
4. The Jewish people anticipated becoming slaves of G-d:
In the esoteric teachings, it is explained that the concept of the Exodus is not just an emancipation from physical slavery but is also a spiritual concept of emancipation from spiritual slavery. Spiritually, the concept of slavery refers to limitations and constraints. Just as a slave is controlled by his master and he cannot perform things that he desires that are above and beyond his master's permission, so too, spiritually, a Jew contains mental and emotional limitations which prevent him from serving G-d above his capacity. The spiritual Exodus represents breaking through even the spiritual limitations. Meaning, that in addition to the need to break through the constraints of the body and animal soul which hinder one's service of G-d, one also breaks through the constraints of his G-dly soul, which contains intellectual and emotional limitations. When a person serves G-d only based on his intellectual comprehension, or emotional development of love and fear, he is serving G-d in a very limited fashion being that his own intellect and emotions are limited. For this reason, the Alter Rebbe writes in Tanya[14] that even a complete Tzadik who serves G-d with love and fear is not completely nullified to G-d, as he still retains an independent existence and serves G-d as an expression of his own desires and wills. His service is limited to his finite and limited reality. True Exodus means that one leaves even the constraints of holiness, of his G-dly soul, and that he serves G-d out of complete submission and surrender, making himself completely nullified to G-d without feeling any independent existence.
G-d took us out of Egypt, not just so we gain a relationship with him of love and fear, but so we can reach a level of complete surrender and nullification to Him. This was the true purpose of the event of the giving of the Torah, in which we became true slaves of G-d, as a slave does not have any independent existence other than his master and is completely nullified to his master. This is the completion of the true Exodus, where one is able to leave even his spiritual constraints and be completely nullified to G-d as a slave.
Based on this, we can further understand the great merit of the Jewish people in their anticipation to leave Egypt and accept the Torah. They did not simply anticipate entering a relationship with G-d and fulfilling the Torah and Mitzvos, and enjoying the love and passion that is involved in this relationship, but actually anticipated becoming surrendered and nullified to G-d, to becoming His slave. The Jewish people anticipated this new slavery even while they were still slaves in Egypt and comprehended the magnitude of slavery. This shows the great nullification that the Jewish people had towards G-d, and served them as a great merit to reward them with the redemption.
After the above explanation, what remains to be understood is why G-d needed to coerce us with the mountain to accept the Torah, if we are ready long anticipated becoming G-d slaves already in Egypt. This will be explored next.
A deeper look:
The Mitzvos were given to the Jewish people for the sake of them achieving connection to G-d, otherwise known as Dveikus. This is why a Mitzvah needs to be fulfilled out of love for G-d and out of a desire to attach to Him. A Mitzvah is meant to be the expression of one's love. However, in truth there is something much deeper being fulfilled in the fulfillment of a Mitzvah, and that is a Jews nullification to G-d. Even stronger than the desire and yearning to attach to G-d in order to quench one's love for Him, there is a desire to become nullified to Him, to be completely controlled by Him and be taken over, to give up any feeling of self and independence, and throw it completely to G-d. There exists an essential excitement and yearning of one's soul to surrender himself completely to G-d. It is this deep desire of nullification and submission to G-d that a Jew has which was expressed in their anticipation to receive the Torah, and is what served in their merit.
A parable from marriage, and the husband-and-wife relationship:
Usually, a husband and wife enter into a marriage due to the dual benefits that they expect to receive. A husband desires someone whom he can love, spend time with, take care of his daily needs, and help him raise a family. A wife desires someone who can financially and emotionally support her, who can love her, whom she can raise a family with, and so on and so forth. Each spouse looks at it from the perspective of what they can gain in the marriage when they first enter it. There is one ingredient however, that is missing that will hopefully come with time, and that is selflessness and submissiveness. With time, the spouse should develop a selfless love for their spouse, and independent of their personal gains from the marriage, should desire the marriage for the sake of being able to make their spouse happy. In general, a husband should desire to give to his wife to make her happy, while a wife should desire to do the same for her husband. Taking this a little deeper, in Jewish and Hassidic thought it is explained that the positions of a husband and wife in the relationship are different and unique from each other. The husband is considered the giver [i.e. Mashpia], and is meant to give to his wife love, security, sensitivity, respect, and even gifts, while the wife is referred to as the receiver [i.e. Mikabel], and is to receive all the above. Now, this does not mean to say that the wife doesn't do anything active in the relationship and simply serves as a recipient of the husband, but rather means to say that the wife's job is to be the submissive partner, who desires and yearns to be taken under her husband's wing and be nullified to him. While this view of a wife's position in the marriage is contrary to the current view of feminism which demands equality and independency of a wife from her husband, in truth it is built-in within a women's psyche. While a husband desires to give to his wife, a wife desires to be submissive to her husband and to be taken over by his loving control. It is a desire to be taken by someone, to become nullified to someone, to become united within him. It is this feminine desire of submissiveness that every single Jew has towards G-d. A Jew does not view the adherence to G-d's commands as a matter of dry obedience, but views it as an expression of one's essential desires to become submissive to G-d and to accomplish a unity with Him. A Jew desires to be nullified, to be submissive, to be taken over and controlled by G-d and completely surrender to Him. It was this great yearning that was expressed in our excitement in counting down the days until the giving of the Torah. We were excited to become submissive to G-d and nullified to Him, excited to become His slave and Him our master, and it is this excitement that served as our merit to redeem us from Egypt. This surrender and allowance of G-d to take total control of us, is not a matter of pain for the Jew, but on the contrary, achieves the greatest of pleasures, similar to the pleasure of a wife in surrendering to her husband in intimacy which achieves the greatest love, passion, and unity.
5. The necessity for G-d to have placed a mountain over our heads:
The one remaining question is our original question regarding why G-d felt it was necessary to put a mountain over our heads. If in truth we already agreed to accept the Torah, and as per the clarifications above, desired to enter the relationship with G-d and be submissive and nullified to Him, then why ruin everything by forcing a mounted over our heads and make it appear like a coerced relationship?
The answer to this lies in the desire and yearning of the Jewish people to be surrendered to G-d. True surrender and submissiveness and nullification cannot be achieved when the person independently decides to do so, as since it is his decision that has brought him to his submissiveness, therefore he still retains an aspect of independence. True surrendering and submissiveness can only be achieved when it is not accomplished through the person's initiative, or the person's consent, and rather is initiated by the master and led by him. That is considered true control, and that is how a person can be truly surrendered to G-d. Accordingly, by G-d placing the mountain over our heads and forcing us into the surrendered relationship, he helped the Jewish people achieve complete nullification and submissiveness, which was their true desire and yearning. By G-d forcing the mountain over us, He brought us to an even higher level of servitude to Him, and took us a step higher from the level of resolve that we already independently had in Egypt to become His slave. While our initial anticipation and desire and willingness to surrender to G-d was certainly a great virtue, it contains the natural and inevitable restriction of being self-proposed, which consequently limits the true quality of the surrender. The only way to erase any and all feeling of independency to permit a complete surrender, was through G-d forcing us to become his slaves. This was the climax of the spiritual Exodus, in which we were able to leave the final limitations and constraints of our independent existence, and become 100% nullified to G-d. Reaching this level of surrender, however, only became possible after the Jewish people first willingly decided to become G-d's slave and anticipated it, and therefore this final level of submission that was accomplished through G-d's initiative of placing the mountain over our heads, also stood in our merit, as it is our initial anticipation that allowed it to occur.
Slavery to G-d is a Jews freedom-A Jew is only free when he accepts the yoke of the Torah:
The Mishneh in Pirkeiy Avos[15] says "Ein Ben Chorin Ela Mi Sheoseik Batorah/One is only considered free if he studies the Torah." What is freedom? Today's society boasts its rights of freedom and liberty to all. Giving each man the right and ability to practice his life in whichever way he sees fit. No more government limitations in where one can work, where he can send his kids to school, what he can eat, what he can wear, when he could be outside? What religion to practice. Every man is the cause for his own success or misfortune without government intervention or limitation. The above definition and understanding of freedom seems to be contradicted by religion. Does religion boast freedom or slavery? Isn't it a form of government that controls and limits a man's every move in terms of dress, walk, food, marriage, work? That's what it sounds like! With 613 commands and tens of thousands of details within those commands, plus thousands of Rabbinical decrees, our lives are completely limited and controlled from the moment we awaken until we go to sleep. Every move must be scrutinized by Jewish law and verified whether it is allowed. This sounds like the opposite of freedom, i.e. slavery. Now, the Sages teach us that until we received the Torah we were not truly free. Upon leaving Egypt although we became free from slavery, we were not considered truly free until we received the Torah. Why is it that Judaism tells us that being limited in every capacity is defined as freedom?
The true definition of freedom:[16]
The answer to the above paradox lies within clarifying a mistaken conception regarding the concept of freedom. True freedom cannot be defined as the ability of man to do whatever he wants, as actions have consequences, and many actions that one may choose to do may prove to be to his detriment later on. In truth, specifically limitations can be the key to our freedom. True freedom is defined as the ability of a person to achieve its essential desires and goals, and maximize its potential of what will truly bring him happiness. The same way a person who is incarcerated views himself as not being free due to his limitations in being able to do what he desires, so too, the soul of an individual views itself as incarcerated and not free so long as it is unable to accomplish its true desires. The goalposts of freedom move together with one's end goal, and therefore one who does an act which hinders him from reaching his end goal, is not doing an act of freedom but an act of slavery. For example, a person who truly desires to have a good marriage, cannot give himself the freedom to explode at his wife whenever he feels like it. To reach his goal of happiness, which is an enjoyable marriage, he must limit his freedoms. A husband who cannot control himself and constantly explodes in anger at his wife, is in truth found in his own personal prison, and does not view himself as being more free than the person who controls himself. His freedom is the cause of his own slavery. The same applies with a drug addict, he recognizes that his freedom to use drugs is the cause of his slavery and lack of true freedom in living a successful and happy life.
With this clarification, we can now understand why a Jew is not truly considered free unless he accepts the yoke of Torah, and becomes a slave to God. A Jew's essential and true desire is to cleave to God and be nullified to Him, similar to a woman's desire to be loved and taken over by Prince charming. This essential desire can only be achieved through Torah observance, and transgressing the Torah will only bring one further away from achieving his true desire of happiness. Hence, one who doesn't control his inclination and transgresses Torah law becomes a slave to his own inclination, and delays his true freedom which can only be achieved when he cleaves to God.
[1] This Sicha is printed under Parshas Shemos
[2] Shabbos 88a
[3] Midrash Tanchuma; Tosafus 88a
[4] Ran, Pesachim 28a; Ittur, brought in Rashba 3:284
[5] Ran, ibid
[6] See Torah Or 98d "Chayav Inish Lebesumaei"; Midrash Tehillim 1:4; Mechilta Derashbi
[9] Torah Or, "Chayav Inish" p. 98b
[10] See Shemos 3:11; Shemos Raba 3:4; Rashi ibid
[11] See Shemos 3:12
[12] Shemos Raba 3:4
[13] See Shibulei Haleket 236 that "When the Jewish people were informed that they would be redeemed, he also informed them that they would receive the Torah 50 days after they left Egypt."
[14] chapter 35
[15] 6:2
[16] See Letter Klali of Rebbe 1958 printed in Hagadah of SIE page 151
Aseres Hadibros: Standing, How to read
Parshas Yisro-Summary of the Parsha
Parshas Yisro-Torah Or-The purpose of Matan Torah-Dveikus


text:
package hashmap

// Buckets start out fresh; once they contain a
// pair they become used; once their pair is
// removed they become deleted.
const (
	fresh = iota;
	used;
	deleted;
)

// Buckets are just HashPairs and a state.
type bucket struct {
	pair HashPair
	state int
}

// Special bucket written to array for deleted buckets.
var deletedBucket bucket = bucket{HashPair{nil, nil}, deleted}

// All we do is wrap a bucket slice. Yes there's a pointer
// indirection, sue me.
type bucketArray struct {
	data []bucket;
}

// Find the bucket index for the given key. If the bucket
// used, we found an exact match; if the bucket is fresh
// or deleted, we can insert there. Note that we relocate
// buckets on successful searches (if possible).
func (self bucketArray) find(key Hashable) (index int) {
	d := self.data
	l := uint(len(d))
	h := key.Hash() % l
	i := h // current probe
	j := uint(1) // next probe offset
	r := -1 // relocation index
	for {
		b := d[i]

		switch b.state {
		case fresh:
			// key not found
			if r != -1 {
				return r
			}
			return int(i)
		case deleted:
			// remember if it's the first
			if r == -1 {
				r = int(i)
			}
		case used:
			// winner if keys match
			if key.Equal(b.pair.Key) {
				// relocate from i to r if possible
				if r != -1 {
					d[r] = b
					d[i] = deletedBucket
					return r
				}
				// otherwise just return it
				return int(i)
			}
		}

		// next index, wrapping around
		i = (i + j) % l
		// XXX tried +2 but that's worse, probably because
		// we trash into other bucket-ranges then
		// XXX tried j = 2*j but that's at least not better,
		// not sure why; "exponential probing"?
		// XXX tried i = (i + uint(j*j)) % l; j++ which is
		// quadratic probing, and that's better, by about
		// half a second in fact for example_hashmap; but
		// I am not sure about the termination properties
		// yet...

		// back to where we started?
		if i == h {
			if r != -1 {
				// if we have a deleted one, return that
				return r
			} else {
				// table full, should never happen
				panic("bucketArray.find: table full")
			}
		}
	}

	// unreachable
	panic("bucketArray.find: unreachable")
	return -1
}

func (self bucketArray) push(key Hashable, value interface{}) bool {
	p := self.find(key)
	if self.data[p].state == used {
		return false
	}
	self.data[p] = bucket{HashPair{key, value}, used}
	return true
}

func (self bucketArray) pop(key Hashable) bool {
	p := self.find(key)
	if self.data[p].state != used {
		return false
	}
	self.data[p] = deletedBucket
	return true
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
[[missing key: search-facet.tree.open-section]] air force combatants (7)
air force officer (7)
[[missing key: search-facet.tree.open-section]] manufacture of chemicals (2)
manufacturer of cleaning products or cosmetics (2)
[[missing key: search-facet.tree.open-section]] air transport (7)
aviator or pilot (7)
Transport x
air transport x
air force officer x
air force combatants x
Boyd, John R. (23 January 1927–09 March 1997), air force officer
Robert L. Gale
Boyd, John R. (23 January 1927–09 March 1997), air force officer, was born John Richard Boyd in Erie, Pennsylvania, the son of Hubert Boyd, a paper mill official, and Elsie Mae Beyer. When Boyd was three, his father died and his mother became a telephone-advertising salesperson. At Strong Vincent High School in Erie, Boyd was an honor student and a member of the swimming team. He received his diploma in absentia in 1945 because he was serving in the U.S. Army Air Forces. During his tour of duty in Japan (1945–1946), Boyd criticized the bivouacking of enlisted men in freezing tents and giving them cold K rations while officers enjoyed warm quarters and hot food. When Boyd and others dismantled and burned a wooden hangar for warmth, he was threatened with court-martial; but he ultimately helped to implement reform measures. His stubborn maverick personality was forming....
Cochran, Jacqueline (1910?–09 August 1980)
Cochran, Jacqueline (1910?–09 August 1980), pioneer aviator and business executive
Jacqueline Cochran Courtesy of the Library of Congress (LC-USZ62-105221).
Erik Thomas Robinson
Cochran, Jacqueline (1910?–09 August 1980), pioneer aviator and business executive, was born in Muscogee, Florida, near Pensacola. Her parents both died during her infancy, and she was raised by foster families with whom she worked in the lumber mills of the Florida panhandle. By the age of fifteen she had also worked in a Columbus, Georgia, cotton mill and learned how to cut hair in a beauty shop. Cochran took nursing training at a hospital in Montgomery, Alabama, from 1925 to 1928, but by 1930 she had returned to Pensacola to work in a beauty salon. In 1932 she traveled to Philadelphia to work in a beauty shop and then moved in the same year to New York City, where her skill earned her a job at Antoine's, a well-known Saks Fifth Avenue beauty shop. For the next four years she worked for this business, spending every winter working in Antoine's branch in Miami Beach, Florida. She met ...
Doolittle, James Harold (1896-1993)
Doolittle, James Harold (1896-1993), aviator and air force commander
James Doolittle. Courtesy of the Library of Congress (LC-USZ62-103547).
James Doolittle Courtesy of the Library of Congress (LC-USZ62-90021).
James H. Willbanks
Doolittle, James Harold (14 December 1896–27 September 1993), aviator and air force commander, was born in Alameda, California, the son of Frank Henry Doolittle, a carpenter and gold prospector, and Rosa Shepard. Doolittle grew up in California and Alaska, where his parents moved in the gold rush of the period. He was educated in Nome, Alaska; at Los Angeles Junior College; and, for three years, at the University of California. He left the university at the beginning of his senior year when the United States entered World War I....
Love, Nancy (1914-1976), aviator and government official
Rita Victoria Gomez
Love, Nancy (14 February 1914–22 October 1976), aviator and government official, was born Hannah Lincoln Harkness in Houghton, Michigan, to Robert Bruce Harkness, a successful medical doctor, and Alice Graham Chadbourne Harkness. Nicknamed Nancy by her family, she graduated from Milton Academy in Massachusetts and then enrolled in Vassar College in 1931. She withdrew from Vassar in 1934, however, as her parents could no longer afford the tuition because of the Great Depression....

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Watch a selfie go horribly wrong in an LA art…
Watch a selfie go horribly wrong in an LA art gallery, causing $200,000 in damage
This may be the worst game of dominoes ever. (Courtesy YouTube)
The "Hypercaine" room at The 14th Factory consists of four rows of plinths, or pedestals, which display an ornate collection of crowns, some of them plated in gold and bronze.
By Ryan Fonseca | rfonseca@scng.com | Daily News
One art lover will probably look before she snaps next time after her photo attempt in a Los Angeles art gallery cost an estimated $200,000 in damages.
The incident happened about two weeks ago at The 14th Factory, a collective art installation in Lincoln Heights. A variety of works from a collective of artists fill the 14-room gallery.
The "Hypercaine" room consists of four rows of plinths — or pedestals — which display an ornate collection of crowns, some of them plated in gold and bronze.
It was here that a woman's photo-op turned into the worst game of dominoes ever. As she squatted down to snap her selfie, she fell backward into one of the displays, causing a chain reaction of royal proportions.
Luckily, the whole thing was captured on surveillance footage.
"It was really unfortunate and really sad," said Jocelyn Ingram, who does marketing work for the project.
Ingram said three of the sculptures were "permanently damaged and others to varying degrees." The $200,000 damage estimation factored in artists' labor, potential ticket and art sales lost while the installation was being repaired and more, she added.
Aside from more than one joke that they'd have to change their name to "The 13th Factory," Ingram said the group had gotten over the incident, until the video resurfaced on YouTube Thursday.
Now, the staff is focusing on the positive and hoping the new exposure will mean more people will come out to see their work, she said. "We believe in the project and we're grateful for how far we've come in this journey."
And what about the woman responsible? Well, heavy was the head that wrecked the crowns.
"We didn't make her pay for (the damage)," Ingram said, describing the woman as "very apologetic."
The installation is back open with one change: patrons can no longer walk between the rows of crowns to admire the art. But photos are still encouraged.
The 14th Factory is the brainchild of Hong Kong-based British artist Simon Birch and is described as "a monumental, multiple-media, socially engaged art and documentary experience."
The installation runs until July 30.
Ryan Fonseca | digital news editor
Ryan Fonseca is a digital news editor for the Southern California News Group, working out of the Los Angeles Daily News in Woodland Hills. He earned a B.A. in journalism from California State University Northridge in 2011 and has worked in a diverse mix of L.A. newsrooms, including television, radio, print and documentary outlets. Ryan is also a part-time instructor at his alma mater, teaching journalism students how to effectively use social media to enhance their reporting. He gladly accepts recommendations for craft beer, Mexican food and podcasts. Ryan lives in Pasadena with his wife and two devious cats.
rfonseca@scng.com
Follow Ryan Fonseca	@RyFons
These 5 places serve the best cocktails in the San Fernando Valley


Depression is one of the most common mental illnesses of our time. Not only does depression make you suffer, it locks you in a vicious cycle of fatigue, apathy, social isolation, and sadness. How to Not Be Depressed explains the cycle of depression using scientifically-backed knowledge and offers a practical guide on how to beat depression, without drugs. Drawing from studies on the brain, nutrition, exercise, meditiation, and willpower, this book provides simple but effective techniques you can use immediately to fight the cycle of depression and have a kickass life.


In 2016, the appropriately named Toughie died in the Atlanta Botanical Garden. He was at least twelve years old, though his exact age is unknown. Toughie and another Rabb's fringe-limbed tree frog were collected from Panama in 2005 for research on chytrid fungus, a deadly fungus that has been ravaging amphibian populations in the region. Amphibians, like Toughie, have the highest rate of endangerment, with a third of known species being at risk of extinction. Toughie became the face of the amphibian extinction crisis as visitors to his enclosure knew they were looking at the last of his kind.


text:
Cette page dresse une liste de personnalités mortes au cours de l'année 1433  :

 28 février : Paul de Sade, évêque de Marseille.
 14 avril : Lydwine de Schiedam, sainte et mystique catholique.
 juin : Jean de Brosse, seigneur de Boussac (Creuse), Sainte-Sévère (Indre) et Huriel (Allier), maréchal de France.
 1er juin : Jacques II d'Urgell, dernier comte d'Urgell, vicomte d'Àger, baron d'Antillón, d'Alcolea de Cinca et de Fraga.
 2 juin : Jean de Thoisy, évêque d'Auxerre  puis de ||Tournai, conseiller du roi de France, Charles VI ainsi que du duc de Bourgogne Jean sans Peur, puis de son fils, Philippe le Bon dont il a été auparavant le précepteur. Il est chancelier du duché de Bourgogne.
 24 juillet: Gérard VII de Holstein-Rendsbourg, comte de Holstein-Rendsbourg et prétendant au duché de Schleswig, sous le nom de Gérard III.
 14 août : Jean  de Portugal, dixième roi de Portugal et de l'Algarve.
 31 août : Pierre Ier de Luxembourg-Saint-Pol, comte de Brienne, de Conversano et de Saint-Pol.
 5 septembre : Lê Lợi, empereur du Đại Việt.
 7 septembre : Charles de Poitiers, évêque de Châlons puis de Langres.
 28 septembre :
 Olivier de Blois, comte de Penthièvre, vicomte de Limoges, seigneur d'Avesnes.
 Przemko Ier d'Opava, duc d'Opava et duc de Głubczyce.
 2 novembre : Hémon Raguier, seigneur de L'Haÿ, ancien argentier du roi Charles VI et de la reine Isabeau de Bavière.
  : Go-Komatsu, empereur du Japon.

 André Boutaric, évêque de Marseille.
 Thomas Conecte, moine et prédicateur français.
 Arnaud d'Abadie, évêque de Lescar.
 Jeanne  d'Albret, noble française.
 Jeanne de France, duchesse consort de Bretagne.
 Ambroise de Monaco, co-seigneur de Monaco.
 Antonio Martini di Atri, peintre italien.
 Zheng He, eunuque chinois musulman et explorateur maritime célèbre, que ses voyages amènent jusqu'au Moyen-Orient et en Afrique de l'Est.
 Sarwe Iyasou d'Éthiopie, négus d'Éthiopie sous le nom de Meherka Nan.
 Man:Co-mwan, fondateur et premier souverain de la dynastie de Mrauk U d'Arakan.

Notes et références

Liens externes

 .

Crédit d'auteurs

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


The Nigel Poulton Community Hall comprises the following areas.
The Main Hall was designed as a multipurpose sports-hall, although it can cater for a large range of other uses.
The floor is covered with a special material which has a cushioning effect that is ideal for sporting activities. This is currently marked out with a full-size Badminton court, which is in regular use.
A lockable internal store room is available to accommodate sports equipment.
Roll-down carpeting material is located at one end of the hall for protecting the floor and making it available for other non-sporting activities and gatherings.
Parties, including bouncy castles and team games, etc.
This room has windows on 2 of its sides giving ample natural light. Blinds are fitted to both windows to give shade and/or privacy as required.
The room serves two primary functions.
As a private location for small group-gatherings such as committee meetings, ad hoc meetings, discussion groups, educational classes, etc. The room contains a 'conference table' around which eleven people can be seated in comfort and a restricted number of additional chairs can be accommodated as necessary.
This is the room in which the Parish Council holds its monthly meetings and sub-committee meetings; all of which are open to the Public. Our MP also uses the Meeting Room for his surgeries.
As a small Public-Library to enable residents to continue to borrow books in the absence of the Mobile-Library service which was withdrawn by HCC due to budgetary cuts.
The Pavilion is a very comfortable space and is an ideal location in which to host a range of activities and gatherings; examples of which include children's parties, Youth Club, Public meetings, large group-meetings, club sessions, weight-watchers, etc.
Two sides of the Pavilion have large windows which, in addition to giving excellent natural light, provide an unparalleled view of the sports field and the surrounding area. Like the Meeting Room, blinds are fitted to all of the windows to provide shade and ensure privacy when required.
Double-doors provide direct access onto the sports field from the Pavilion, which is ideal on hot sunny days (do you remember those?) during children's parties or when the Cricket Club uses it for teas on match-days.
Chairs and tables are readily available within the Pavilion.
The well-equipped and spacious kitchen offers the opportunity to serve refreshments directly to people within the Pavilion.
If required, the kitchen can be isolated from the Pavilion by closing the large servicing-hatch between the two areas.
There are 2 large, bright and spacious changing rooms ('home' and 'away'), each comprising a 'team-shower' facility. Naturally the shower-heads can be used on an individual basis.
In addition, there is also a pair of smaller self-contained changing rooms, each of which comprises a single shower and accommodation for up to 4 people.
The small changing rooms each have a private access or can be reached via a door to the associated larger changing room.
Access to the changing rooms is via the car-park, which in turn gives direct access to the sports field.
There are 2 toilets (Male and Female) on the Changing-Rooms side of the building and can also be accesed from the Main Hall.
There are also 2 toilets (Male and Female) on the Pavilion/Meeting Room side of the building and these too can be accesed from the Main Hall.
A Disabled Toilet is available directly opposite to the main entrance of the building.
This facility is available to the public and, although locked in the evenings, is provided as a convenience for those using the sports field, play area and Tennis Courts, and for anyone else who needs them.


1500hp has this Supra almost taking off for orbit at the World Cup Finals! This thing rocks definately!
Watch the video of this 1500HP Supra 2JZ below and leave a comment or share this one with your friends!


This dress was purchased for my husband and I's wedding that never ended up happening. We have planned to renew our vows and I have chosen a new dress. This dress is actually brand new with tags and never been worn. It has been kept in the original garment bag that it came in and is absolutely perfect.


BERLIN (JTA) — Police in 14 German states reportedly conducted raids on 60 individuals in an attempt to root out the sources of anti-Semitic and other hate postings on the internet.
The raids on Wednesday marked the first time that Germany has conducted a nationwide hunt for internet hate purveyors, according to German Interior Minister Thomas de Maizière, who said he hoped the operations would send a strong message that criminals cannot hide from the law in the seemingly anonymous internet.
According to German news reports, the raids followed months of observing one Facebook group that glorified National Socialism and broke German laws against promoting hate.
Suspects were accused of posting anti-Semitic, extremist and xenophobic messages, including denial of or relativizing the Holocaust, celebrating aspects of National Socialism and using Nazi symbolism, and calling for attacks on refugees and politicians. Evidence was seized at several locations.
Maizière said in a statement that hate speech paves the way for actual violence, thus the urgency of the crackdown.
According to the ministry, there are increasing numbers of "hate lists" found online with the names, addresses and employers working against right-wing extremism as well as people seeking asylum in Germany. The publication of these lists has been linked with public calls for violence against these people, the statement said.
In Germany, those who encourage violence based on religious or ethnic background can face up to three years in prison.
"There is no area in Germany that is above the law; criminal law applies to the internet" as to any other space where a crime is committed, Maizière said, adding that internet providers also will be held responsible when hate is spread by clients.


text:
<!DOCTYPE html>

		<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="bootstrap.min.css" />
		<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="bomb.css">

Select all the modules on the bomb...

                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-secondary btn-thumbnail" id="Wires-Button">Wires</button>

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                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-secondary btn-thumbnail" id="Simon-Button">Simon Says</button>

                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-secondary btn-thumbnail" id="Whos-Button">Who's on First</button>

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                    Wires

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                    Who's on First

                    Memory

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                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-default btn-md pull-right strike">Strikes</button>

Last digit of the serial number:

                    <button class="btn btn-default " name="flip-1" id="serialeven" value="even">EVEN</button>
                    <button class="btn btn-primary " name="flip-1" value="odd" id="odd">ODD</button>

Does the serial number have a vowel?

					<button class="btn btn-default " id="vowel  yes">YES</button>
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How many batteries?

                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-primary " id="bat0">0</button>
                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-default " id="bat1">1</button>
                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-default " id="bat2">2</button>
                    <button type="button" class="btn btn-default " id="bat3">3+</button>

Is there a lit indicator CAR?

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Is there a lit indicator FRK?

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Is there a parallel port?

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  Contact
: An unoffical helper

  Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes


text:
A near-perfect double
Some might say that there are two kinds of LEGO creations: those that are pure imagination, and those that are modeled after something specific. You could argue that the former is harder because you have to come up with a design out of thin air. The latter at least has a sense of direction! On the other hand, if you've ever tried to recreate a non-LEGO subject in detailed LEGO form, you would know that it's really difficult to get it to look just right. But one builder, wes_turngrate, has managed to pull this off in exceptional fashion! His LEGO version of a Great Western Railway 8750 Pannier Tank Engine is just about as close to the original as you can get!
Obviously a lot of love and attention to detail went into this train. You may notice there are a couple slight differences between the two pictured, but they're actually that way for a reason. The O-gauge model train in the background is his late father's original GWR 5700 Class engine. Apparently this LEGO version is modeled after a minor variant (8750). Even so, these are incredibly close and we're very impressed either way! Wes, I'm sure this is one build your father would be proud of!
Bre Burns
1:1 Scale, Train
← Go Gundam or go bust! Bigfoot Monster truck with monster suspension →
3 comments on "A near-perfect double"
Taylor Connell April 18, 2018 at 6:44 pm
Does that thing actually fit onto standard 6-wide Lego tracks? If so, I think I want one.
Polynices April 18, 2018 at 8:37 pm
That's the engine also known as Duck if you've ever had to watch endless hours of Thomas the Tank Engine with young boys.
Amoreternum April 19, 2018 at 1:24 am
Taylor, it should, it's in 8-wide-scale and compared to other engines in that scale, quite small, but beautiful nevertheless.


text:
Mental Health: Celebrities Who Are Open About Addiction
Reviewed By Smitha Bhandari, MD on 9/10/2020
The actor says he used drugs before he was a teenager and spent most of his early career under their influence. He had several high-profile arrests in the late 1990s and early 2000s while misusing alcohol, cocaine, and heroin and spent time in a California prison and a state-run rehab facility. In 2002, he announced that he was recovered. Marvel's 2008 movie Iron Man revived his stalled career.
She was a 17-year-old actress on family-friendly TV when, she says, she first used cocaine. As her singing career took off, so did her problems with drugs and alcohol. In 2010, she first sought treatment for addiction, along with mental health issues including bipolar and eating disorders. She has addressed her ongoing recovery in interviews, on social media, and in her music.
Affleck, who won Academy Awards for Good Will Hunting and Argo and starred as Batman in the DC Comics franchise, has been open about his issues with alcohol. He went to rehab for the first time in 2001 and has called addiction "a lifelong and difficult struggle." Following a stay at a treatment center in 2018, Affleck said on social media, "If you have a problem, getting help is a sign of courage, not weakness or failure."
He's been nominated for several Academy Awards, but the actor went through some hard times on his way to success. He says years of drug and alcohol misuse threatened to ruin his life, and in 2004 at the age of 29, he made the decision to stop using them. He's since become one of Hollywood's most bankable leading men.
She made headlines in 1989 by going to rehab at just 13 and announcing she was an addict. From a famous, and famously troubled, acting family, she was 6 when the movie E.T. launched her career.She says she started drinking when she was 9, and quickly moved on to marijuana and cocaine. She spent her teenage years trying to overcome her notoriety and has since enjoyed success as an actress and producer.
The AIDS crisis inspired the singer to address his addictions. Sir Elton John says when his friend, the young AIDS activist Ryan White, died in 1990, he felt a lot of regret that he had spent the previous decade absorbed in alcohol and cocaine misuse. He sought treatment in 1990 and established the Elton John AIDS Foundation 2 years later.
The actress and children's book author calls recovery from alcohol and drug addiction the greatest single accomplishment of her life. She says she became addicted to prescription painkillers she was given after a cosmetic procedure. She credits her recovery to the program she entered and the support of others in similar situations. Curtis is an outspoken advocate for drug misuse awareness and changes in opiate policy.
As his career failed to take off in the 1990s, the country singer turned more often to alcohol and drugs. By the time he had his first No. 1 hit, he was in a cycle of recovery and relapse. He credits his wife, actress Nicole Kidman, with getting him into successful treatment shortly after their marriage in 2006. Urban has won several Grammys and was the Country Music Association's Entertainer of the Year in 2005.
The star of the Harry Potter franchise is another young actor for whom sudden wealth and fame brought personal problems. He says he drank a lot during filming of the last three Potter films, and finally realized it was something he couldn't control. He says he quit after the last film wrapped and continues to work on his recovery.
The model and actress says turning 40 inspired her to come forward with her story of addiction and recovery in hopes of helping others. She says she started using drugs as a child, and at the height of her modeling career in the 1990s, she was regularly misusing alcohol and cocaine. Valletta says she recovered when she was 25.
The guitar legend survived a rock culture of drug experimentation. He says he became addicted to heroin in the early 1970s. Clapton recovered, but he continued misusing alcohol and cocaine for years. He finally found success in rehab in 1987. In 1998, he built the Crossroads Centre for alcohol and drug treatment on the Caribbean island of Antigua.
Addiction was a lifelong battle for the Star Wars actress. She often spoke and wrote about her experiences with drug and alcohol use disorder and recovery, as well as her bipolar disorder. Fisher died in 2016 at age 60 after going into cardiac arrest on a trans-Atlantic flight.
As one of the powerful young actors in the "Brat Pack" of the 1980s, Lowe spent much of that decade living a lifestyle of excess. He says his drinking began when he was a teenager and grew more out-of-control the more famous he became. He says fallout from the public release of a videotape of him having sex pushed him to the point where he realized he needed help. He went through treatment in 1990.
He was one of America's best Friends from 1994 to 2004, but off-screen, he was struggling with alcohol and prescription drug use disorder. The actor says he got addicted to painkillers when he was prescribed them after a personal watercraft accident. The sitcom and movie star has sought treatment, and he says helping others is an important part of his own recovery.
The Sopranos actress says she became an alcoholic as a young woman trying to launch her career. She credits 12-step programs with helping her recover in 1992. She often spoke about the recovery process while playing the opiate-addicted Nurse Jackie from 2009 to 2015.
Gage Skidmore / flickr
Marcen27 / flickr
El Hormiguero / flickr
Josh Jensen / flickr
Ernst Vikne / flickr
Craig O Neal / flickr
Glen Francis / Wikimedia
Majvdl / Wikimedia
David Shankbone / Wikimedia
People: "Hitting Bottom," "Robert Downey Jr. Says He Lived Through '30 Years of Depravity and Despair' Before Comeback," "Demi Lovato Remains Hospitalized After Suffering Complications from Apparent Overdose: Sources," "Ben Affleck Enters Rehab for Third Time as 'Visibly Upset' Jennifer Garner Drives Him to Treatment," "The Secret Drew Barrymore," "Keith Urban: 'I Was Going to Lose It All,'" "Carrie Fisher Had Heroin, Cocaine in System When She Died, Report Reveals -- As Daughter Billie Releases Emotional Statement," "Rob Lowe Celebrates 25 Years of Sobriety, Promises Hope for 'Those Struggling with Addiction,'" "Whole New Man," "Matthew Perry Says He's an 'Award-Winning Alcoholic' After Being Honored for Helping Fellow Addicts."
Rolling Stone: "The Tao of Robert Downey, Jr.," "Drew Barrymore: Wild Thing," "Elton John Regrets Past Drug Use," "Keith Urban's Hard Road."
Vanity Fair: "Robert Downey Jr. Speaks About His Addictions," "Cooper Exclusive: Bradley Cooper Speaks About his Struggle with Addiction."
CNN Entertainment: "Everything we know about Demi Lovato's apparent overdose."
Variety: "Demi Lovato Thanks Hospital Staff, Says She Needs to 'Focus on Sobriety,' 'Road to Recovery.'"
Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences: "The Official Academy Awards Database."
USA Today: "Ben Affleck: 'I have completed treatment for alcohol addiction.'"
CBS News 60 Minutes: "Drew Barrymore's Extraordinary Life."
NPR: "Addict to Activist: How Elton John Found His 'Cure,'" "Sex, Drugs and Rock 'N' Roll: Clapton after 'Cocaine,'" "'I Wanted A New Life,' Says Actor, Author Rob Lowe," "Edie Falco On Sobriety, The Sopranos, And Nurse Jackie's Self-Medication."
John, E. Love is the Cure: on life, loss and the end of AIDS, Little, Brown & Company, 2012.
Huffington Post: "King of Pain," "Good Morning Heartache, Good Morning Life," "Kill the Pain."
The Hill: "A Q&A with Jamie Lee Curtis."
Billboard: "Keith Urban Chart History."
Clapton, E. Clapton: the autobiography," Broadway Books, 2007.
Crossroads Centre Antigua.
Los Angeles Times: "Carrie Fisher opened up about her demons -- and knew she wouldn't have a Hollywood ending," "Edie Falco loves playing the lying, seriously flawed 'Nurse Jackie.'"
GQ: "Rob Lowe's Tips for Re-Re-Reinventing Yourself," "Daniel Radcliffe and the exorcism of Harry Potter," "The GQ Cover Story; Bradley Cooper Is A-List Now, Bro."
New York: "The Loneliest Soprano."
The Telegraph: "Daniel Radcliffe on alcoholism, starving himself, Harry Potter -- and the day he fell in love."
The Hollywood Reporter: "Bradley Cooper: The Serious Evolution of a Leading Man."
CBS This Morning: "Model Amber Valletta faces down addiction history."
ABC News: "Actress Amber Valletta: I've Been an Addict Since I Was 8 Years Old."
Variety: "Ben Affleck Checks Out of Rehab: 'I Am Fighting for Myself and My Family.'"