We all want to feel connected to others. It doesn't matter whether we are extroverts or introverts; connection is one of the six human needs that we all share. I have written previously on the topic of loneliness, but my primary focus then was on spending too much time alone and feeling physically isolated from others. Today's post is about a different type of isolation: emotional isolation, which is feeling alone even in the presence of others. I'm sure most of us have felt this way from time to time, and I believe this type of isolation is a big problem in today's society.
How Often Do We Truly Communicate?
So many of us yearn for emotional closeness, yet it eludes us, even in this age of extreme connectivity, smart phones, and social media. I feel that emotional isolation largely stems from poor communication. We're in touch with people all the time, but how often do we truly communicate? How often do we open up and let others know who we really are inside?
When we're not keeping in touch by way of social media likes and short comment bursts, many of us engage in superficial relationships in which we only talk about macro topics like the weather, what we're watching on television, and what's in the news. I'm not implying that these subjects are insignificant, but discussing them rarely deepens our connections. We're often "pleasant" with each other but don't really know the person on the other end of our conversations. We stay safe in what we talk about, and we keep people at arm's length because we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We're afraid of being hurt should we opt to share our innermost thoughts, feelings, hopes, and fears, and this keeps us separate from others.
I feel that it's important to point out that not everyone even wants deep relationships with others. Many people don't wish to learn about the innermost thoughts of the people in their lives, as they fear what they discover might shake up the status quo. Certainty is another primary human need and we want to feel comfortable in our relationships. We like to feel that we know who we're dealing with and what to expect with them, even if that means sacrificing depth.
How Open and Honest Am I?
While some people are fine with maintaining superficial relationships, I'm not one of them. The level of emotional isolation I've experienced in recent years is troubling and is something I'd like to change. Readers have often praised me for my honesty, but those who read my blogs (this one and Recovering Shopaholic) know me far better than most of the people in my "real life." I'm a lot more open in my writing than I am with most of the people I interact with offline, including all of my family members besides my husband. It's just easier to be vulnerable when writing a blog because even though anyone in the world could read what I share, the fact that I'm unlikely to meet most of them makes it much less risky to open up.
I used to be a lot more open with the people in my life, but that often resulted in my getting hurt by those who didn't agree with, appreciate, or understand me. In response to that hurt, I've put up walls and distanced myself from the world. For years, when I would meet new people, I wouldn't open up much about myself and my life. I didn't let people in and thus created the very sense of disconnection I lamented. I became really good at asking people questions and encouraging them to talk about themselves, all while remaining a virtual "blank slate" myself, sharing only past or superficial details about my life.
I didn't realize I was using interest in others as a defense mechanism, a way of protecting myself from feeling hurt and disappointed. By keeping my personal disclosure at the surface level, I gave others less opportunity to criticize me. This pattern of interaction kept me from being hurt, but I rarely got close to anyone new and my existing relationships became ever more distant. While I still had online connections that were meaningful to me, as well as a few long-distance friends I cherished but rarely spoke with or saw, I lacked the regular, in-person interactions that I and many others crave.
I know I'm not alone in putting up walls to avoid being hurt. I think a lot of people do what I've done, including those who have very active social lives. Their calendars are full, yet their lives may be falling apart and no one around them has any idea. They keep up appearances and let everyone think they have it all together, but they have deep pain in their hearts that they speak about with few people – or no one.
We're all afraid of being judged, criticized, misunderstood, and rejected. The reasons may be different, but we all want to protect ourselves from the deep wounds that are so common in interpersonal relationships. While I may hold back due to my non-traditional life and career path and difficult to explain health issues, others may be afraid to reveal their marital problems, failing businesses, addictions, and other "secrets" they feel are shameful. But what we may not know is that those around us could be struggling in similar ways and long to have people to talk to about it. We may be missing out on deep connection, all because we're afraid of being vulnerable and letting others really see us.
Brown's research over a period of twelve years – with 13,000 pieces of data – has shown that vulnerability is our most accurate representation of courage. All of the incidents and stories of courage she found were completely underpinned by vulnerability. However, a great paradox related to vulnerability is that it is the first thing we look for in the people we meet and the last thing we want to show to others. We want others to open up to us, yet we don't want to respond in kind. Ultimately, though, nothing ventured, nothing gained. All of the great accomplishments that have been made and deep relationships that have been forged wouldn't have existed without the vulnerability to risk both exposure and failure.
I used to be someone who risked and I want to be that type of person again, so I'm putting myself out there little by little and will continue to take more risks this year and beyond. I'm going to take a deep breath, feel the fear, and do it anyway. While I may experience rejection from time to time, I believe I will also reap the great rewards of deeper relationships, meaningful experiences, and feeling prouder of myself once again. Who's with me? My vision is that those of us who want more depth, purpose, and meaning in our lives will embrace our vulnerability more fully, fear or no fear.
I wrote another post back in 2013 that delved into the theories of Brene Brown, particularly in relation to perfectionism and compulsive behavior. That essay also explores some of the topics I wrote about today, and while I'm a bit ashamed that I haven't made more headway on these issues in the ensuing years, I like what I had to say and feel that many of you will as well.
You may also be interested in Brown's books, all listed HERE. I'm sure I will be writing more about Brown's philosophies in future posts, as she has so much wisdom to share and I plan to delve more into her work moving forward. But if you watch the videos above, you will gain a lot of new and powerful insights on these important topics that relate not just to our interpersonal interactions, but to all of life.
This post spoke to me, Debbie, I hadn't realized before that i do that, ask too many questions, in order that I won't be needing to speak as much and be criticized, judged etc… I will have to ponder on this…love you, my online friend….
I loved this post Debbie. For quite a few years I was very open and honest. Then I had a period that I started isolating and did something similar to what you were talking about. I knew tons of stuff about all of the other people in my life, but shared very little. It was actually through my online friends that I started to open up again. They gave me support, empathy, and understanding. I was able to let go of a lot of stuff that felt a lot worse when it was a secret and move forward. Now I'm feeling like myself again and I'm more open with everyone in my life. I hope that you're able to get to that point too.
My online friends have helped me a lot, too, Tonya, and you have been one of the most supportive and helpful. Plus, I feel very fortunate to have spent time with you in person twice! I'm still struggling with openness with a lot of people in my life, but I feel more ready to turn that around now, as I'm more present to what it's costing me. I'm glad you loved this post. I know you are a big fan of Brene Brown, too. I think I will likely write another post about her philosophies soon, perhaps about the difference between guilt and shame, as that is a big one for me (and I know for many others). I'm happy for you that you are back to being your authentic self with the people in your life again. That's a huge breakthough!
Hi Debbie. This may be my favourite article yet, it completely resonates with my life experiences. I imagine you knew I would make this comment! During your blogging hiatus I had met up a few times with old friends whom I had not seen for 10 years or so. I was saddened to realise I didn't feel an emotional connection and mainly stuck to small talk. Whilst driving home I ruminated on this and realised I was comparing the comfort and ease of my communications with you online with the reality of this real life conversation. It's such a blessing that you've created a community where likeminded people can connect and gain support from each other that is lacking in their real lives. I have in recent years developed friendships that allow me to open up and have a deeper connection and I believe this is entirely a result of our interactions. It was Mother's Day recently in the UK and the following day I met up with a friend for coffee. We had a lovely supportive chat about the difficult emotions that arise when you are childless and/or have no mother. We discussed the isolation/sadness we were both experiencing and were able to process the emotions together. Previously I would have just swallowed my emotions and distracted myself with shopping.
Sharon, you are my kindred spirit across a continent and an ocean. We have so much in common, so I'm not surprised that this post resonated with you. I'm not exaggerating when I write that your comment brought tears to my eyes. I'm beyond thrilled that my blog and your interactions with me and others helped you to open up more with the people in your life. Your post-Mother's Day conversation sounds powerful and healing, and I'm happy for you that you got to experience it. Such connection is far more empowering and fulfilling than shopping or any compulsion/addictive behavior ever could be!
I have read Brene Brown and listened to some audiotapes of hers. However, in my case, I ended up rejecting all of her theories. I shall explain. I get what she's saying about the power of our vulnerability, understanding shame and empathy, and how we can learn from embracing our imperfections. However, in my case, constantly listening to her talk about these themes kept me wallowed in my vulnerabilities and imperfections. At some point, I found myself getting bored of embracing my imperfections and feeling like I was spinning my wheels.
I was very lonely growing up. I had no friends for decades. Schoolmates only spoke to me only if I did something for them, not because they wanted to actually be around me. I felt like every day was a struggle. I lived many years in what I found to be an extremely hostile and depressing environment. It wasn't until decades later, when I stumbled on some Facebook posts of high school reunions (I didn't go, but for some reason, the pictures were available online for anyone to see) I saw that the people I had found so hostile…seemed pretty nice and fun. The reunions actually looked like a blast and people really seemed to care about who had made it there! It made me even more depressed because on some level I always thought the problem had been me and this seemed like confirmation.
Thank GOD for therapy and the internet. I have learned how to be much more open to those who matter to me. I have learned what and who makes me happy and really try to stick to that. It's taken a while to get here. But that growth did not come from embracing my vulnerabilities and imperfections. Growth came from doing the hard work of deciding what happiness looked like to me.
As a result of my growth, I now try to limit the people who enter my life. I used to be open to anyone who wanted to be my friend. On some level, I felt obliged, as if I had unconsciously subscribed to the notion that I was so unpopular, so…"different", that I could not afford to be picky if someone wanted to be my friend. Welp, I ended up with a bunch of casual friends who were basically like clothes that were the wrong size, color and shape. At some point, I basically had to start a capsule wardrobe, except it was for people, not clothes. I literally drew up a diagram, kind the one Unfancy has on her site. Strange? Yes. But it was part of the work I did in figuring out what happiness looked like to me.
Jane, I really appreciate your sharing your story and your perspective with us. I'm glad you are in a much better place now in terms of your friendships and open communication with people. I can understand your not wanting to wallow in your vulnerabilities and imperfections, as I don't want to do that, either, and feel like I often do so. There is no one path that will work for everyone and we all need to find what will best resonate with us. I love your analogy about the casual friends being like clothes that were the wrong size, color and shape. I also love that you actually drew up a diagram for the type of people you want in your life. I don't think it's strange at all! In fact, that's probably something I should do, too… I no longer feel the need to have a lot of people in my life, but I do feel the need to have more in person relationships that I find fulfilling (while continuing to cherish my online and faraway connections, too). I'm happy for you that you've come to a much better place in terms of your happiness and relationships.
I'm glad this post was meaningful to you, Krissie. I used to always wonder why I seemed to have such self-centered people in my life, but I think that I was attracting them because of my not wanting to talk about myself and my life. I'm also open to the possibility that some of those people aren't really that self-absorbed but that we have a negative pattern that needs to be broken. The last time I spoke to my brother, for example, he didn't ask me anything about myself, but maybe that was because I kept asking him questions and keeping the focus on him. I'm not sure, but this is something I'm going to keep thinking and writing about.
I have noticed that things have changed quite a bit for me in that regard. Some of the people that would talk about themselves for hours are now asking me about what's going on with my life. When I changed so did they. Though I'm sure the truly self absorbed are still out there.
I remember the days when I seemed to only attract self-centered people too. But this will change. Once you figure out what your happiness is, the people that you attract will be very different. If it had not happened to me, I probably wouldn't believe it, but I can happily attest to this!
So, I can say what worked for me and that was basically a couple of things: meditation: a commitment to have a happy family, and always reminding myself of the best qualities of my family members and trying to focus on that, rather than "reality". I can honestly say that doing these things has completely turned my family life around where I actually enjoy being around my mother.
Ah, existing relationships, esp family….the last frontier. Welp, you're on your own there, girlfriend. Haha, just kidding.
You know, there's a saying in Buddhism, "your environment is a reflection of your inner self". I feel like there's a lot of truth that. We create an environment that fits ourselves, our understanding of the world. When you change your inner self, they say you notice the change in everything and everyone around you.
For you, I have an exercise. I'm not sure it will work, but it was the first thing that sprang to my mind when I started writing this. I did this exercise a while back. It involves focusing on the qualities you like best in your existing relationships. Basically remember all the best times you had, all the best qualities of that person. Just write them all down. The idea is to focus on the things you like and when you do, you naturally start attracting more of that. I hate to talk about the law of attraction because it sounds so trite, but I guess that's what it is.
This can be a really hard exercise. To give an example, I had to try and do it with my dad, who thinks I'm trying to kill him and the CIA is after him. I can't tell you how many times I wish my mother would divorce him. I never even wanted to be in the same room with him. But even someone like my father has something good in him, and through this exercise and others like it, I feel like I've learned to appreciate him. Am I 100% fond of my dad? Hell no! But I can now honestly say I do appreciate him and actually have a relatively pleasant time around him, which is not something I could say 4 years ago.
I hope that with your researching and analysis skills you can find interesting articles on this topic and share. I always enjoy seeing what you come up with.
PS: I think online relationships are undervalued. Some of my best friends I got to know initially through the internet. The internet is a wondrous thing that allows you to connect to people who may be far away physically but are close in spirit. Just saying.
This is a lovely, thoughtful post. You insight is keen by realizing you were using questions and interest in others as a defense mechanism, a way of protecting yourself from feeling hurt and disappointed. Often I find myself in social situations where others do this. For years I allowed it. Then late at night when it was hard to get back to sleep I would think about many people and how I knew so little about them. While I shared my life like an open book, often times the person asking me so many questions would not say more than a few words when I asked about them. Now when a person asks more than they share I lean in a bit closer to them, say less, and show a sincere desire to let them know I'm sincerely interested in them, to create a safe harbor if they want to share and be intimate. Years ago when I was young I worried a great deal about what others thought of me. Then as I grew older I began to realize that I don't have that kind of time anymore, I don't have that many more years of living ahead of me and it's now or maybe never. You are on a beautiful journey toward vulnerability and intimacy. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Terra, I noticed that you had a hard time leaving this comment and I apologize for that and thank you for continuing to try. Hopefully, your future comments won't end up as spam, but please let me know if you continue to have problems (I don't know about WordPress sometimes…). I always appreciate your comments and this one provided some excellent food for thought. You have a lot of insight to have realized what was going on with some of the people in your life. I'm guessing there are a lot of people who do what I do, and I wish more people would notice it and react as you have been. Of course, I have to accept responsibility for my actions and turn them around, as do others who ask questions and don't open up. I know that I don't have all the time in the world, either, and it's not good for me to keep worrying so much about what others think. It's really a waste of time! If I open up and share, I know not everyone will like me and connect with me, but not everyone needs to. By doing what I'm doing, I stay lonely, and I don't want to feel that way anymore.
In some ways I agree. But . . . as with everything there is a balance. I don't want to be TOO connected with people. I have an ongoing ambivalence between going out to spend time with friends and holing up in the house nesting. I like both. I need both. But I don't want too much of either one.
Even online, I have been known to leave groups when I feel there is too much sharing or oversharing. I get uncomfortable at a certain level. It's like, I'm here to discuss fitness and stay on track, and you're telling me details of your father's illness and asking for prayers. I just, I dunno. I think we all have certain levels of need in the connectivity department. I am okay with only having my BF and mom, and maybe 2 close friends, to really talk deep and openly with. And not all the time. Just going to play golf and drink beer and talk about silly surface stuff is totally fine by me! I think knowing that the outlet to connect and share deeply is there, if/when we need it, can be enough.
Another thought is that I speak to people all day at my jobs. I do tend to be asking them more than they do me, but not always. No, it's not deep conversation, but it is constant. Perhaps I just need a break from words altogether more often than others. This is likely why I tend to spend my first day off every week at home, not leaving for anything.
I completely agree with what you have written here, Mo. I think we all have varying needs for social interaction and definitely one's job will have a bearing on that. I can see how you'd want/need more alone time when you're interacting with the public all day at work. I spend a lot of my time alone and I'm okay with it, as I'm an extreme introvert. A little socializing goes a long way for me, and what I didn't realize until recently is that online interaction can deplete me as well. I love to interact with people on a deep level, but it can be draining for me so I have to balance it. You're definitely right that it's all about balance. I like the silly and fun types of interaction, too. If everything was about deep communication, that would get to be too much, too. It's tricky business, these relationships, but it's worth determining our individual needs and thresholds and then taking steps to get our needs met. It sounds like you are very in touch with yourself and you take care of yourself to recharge on your days off. That's very healthy to do!


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Q: OpenCV - Estimating Box dimensions in Python This is the continuation of my previous question. I now have an image like this

Here the corners are detected. Now I am trying to estimate the dimensions of the bigger box while smaller black box dimensions are known.
Can anyone guide me what is the best way to estimate the dimensions of the box? I can do it with simple Euclidean distance but I don't know if it is the correct way or not. Or even if it is the correct way then from a list of tuples (coordinates) how can I find distances like A-B or A-D or G-H but not like A-C or A-F?
The sequence has to be preserved in order to get correct dimensions. Also I have two boxes here so when I create list of corners coordinates then it should contain all coordinates from A-J and I don't know which coordinates belong to which box. So how can I preserve that for two different boxes because I want to run this code for more similar images.
Note: The corners in this image is not a single point but a set of points so I clustered the set of the corner and average them to get a single (x,y) coordinate for each corner.
I have tried my best to explain my questions. Will be extremely glad to have some answers :) Thanks.

A: For the

How can I find distances like A-B or A-D or G-H but not like A-C or
  A-F

part
Here's a quick code, not efficient for images with lots of corners, but for your case it's OK. The idea is to start from the dilated edge image you got in your other question (with only the big box, but the idea is the same for the image where there is also the small box)

then for every possible combination of corners, you look at a few points on an imaginary line between them, and then you check if these points actually fall on a real line in the image.
import cv2
import numpy as np

#getting intermediate points on the line between point1 and point2
#for example, calling this function with (p1,p2,3) will return the point
#on the line between p1 and p2, at 1/3 distance from p2
def get_intermediate_point(p1,p2,ratio):
    return [p1[0]+(p2[0]-p1[0])/ratio,p1[1]+(p2[1]-p1[1])/ratio]

#open dilated edge images
img=cv2.imread(dilated_edges,0)

#corners you got from your segmentation and other question
corners=[[29,94],[102,21],[184,52],[183,547],[101,576],[27,509]]
nb_corners=len(corners)

#intermediate points between corners you are going to test
ratios=[2,4,6,8] #in this example, the middle point, the quarter point, etc
nb_ratios=len(ratios)

#list which will contain all connected corners
connected_corners=[]

#double loop for going through all possible corners
for i in range(nb_corners-1):
    for j in range(i+1,nb_corners):
        cpt=0
        c1=corners[i]; c2=corners[j]

        #testing every intermediate points between the selected corners
        for ratio in ratios:
            p=get_intermediate_point(c1,c2,ratio)

            #checking if these points fall on a white pixel in the image
            if img[p[0],p[1]]==255:
                cpt+=1

        #if enough of the intermediate points fall on a white pixel
        if cpt>=int(nb_ratios*0.75):
            #then we assume that the 2 corners are indeed connected by a line
            connected_corners.append([i,j])

print(connected_corners)

A: In general you cannot, since any reconstruction is only up to scale.
Basically, given a calibrated camera and 6 2D-points (6x2=12) you want to find 6 3D points + scale = 6x3+1=19. There aren't enough equations.
In order to do so, you will have to make some assumptions and insert them into the equations.
Form example:

*

*The box edges are perpendicular to each other (which means that every 2 neighboring points share at least one coordinate value).

*You need to assume that you know the height of the bottom points, i.e. they are on the same plane as your calibration box (this will give you the Z of the visible bottom points).

Hopefully, these constraints are enough to given you less equations that unknown and you can solve the linear equation set.

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text:
Sheriff's `anticrime' program raises concern that blacks are harassed. Police stop blacks traveling through white neighborhoods
By Garry Boulard Special to The Christian Science Monitor
An order mandated by a sheriff to routinely stop blacks traveling through white neighborhoods has prompted an outcry of community protest. Sheriff Harry Lee of Jefferson Parish in suburban New Orleans said on Dec. 2 that ``if there are some blacks driving a car late at night in a predominantly white area, they will be stopped.'' Mr. Lee added, ``If you live in a predominantly white neighborhood, and two blacks are in a car behind you, there's a pretty good chance they're up to no good.''
Even though Lee officially withdrew his plan the next day, apologizing for ``inadvertently offending'' blacks, many civil rights and community activists believe the harassment program that has been in effect for most of the past year still exists.
``We've received nearly 60 complaints from black people who said they were stopped unnecessarily by law enforcement officers in the past month,'' said Shirley Porter, president of the local chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.
City councilwoman Wilma Irvin, who represents the city of Kenner in Jefferson Parish, said the times blacks have been stopped in the past three months in Jefferson Parish have been ``too numerous to mention.''
``The sheriff just made it official. I believe it's been an unstated program for quite a while now,'' explained Ms. Irvin. ``I know professional black people who actually live in some of the more exclusive areas, and they've been stopped by the police in their own neighborhoods,'' she added.
Manicured lawns, ranch houses, and swimming pools dot Jefferson Parish, which has a median house value of more than $70,000 - far higher than any other parish in Louisiana.
The area also has one of the lowest percentages of black residents (9 percent, compared to 52 percent in neighboring Orleans Parish), and a strongly conservative constituency. In 1984, President Reagan won more than 77 percent of the vote here.
Lee said his program to stop blacks was not meant as an act of bigotry, but rather as a means to reduce crime. The sheriff said that in November, 90.5 percent of all robberies in Jefferson were committed by blacks, and 73 percent of the victims were white.
The Jefferson Parish sheriff's office also released statistics indicating that murder had increased by 66 percent late this year, compared to the final quarter of 1985, and that robbery was up by 35 percent, followed by burglary at 13 percent.
Black leaders indicated in two recent public forums that they supported a crime-prevention program and police patrolling of high-crime areas. ``The thing we don't like is that this is being done on a racially exclusive basis,'' said an organizer for the NAACP.
Although many area black leaders believe that Lee's program may continue to be carried out unofficially, they think the recent publicity will prompt greater community activism in defense of civil rights.
The NAACP's Porter added that her office will shortly begin to monitor the sheriff's office activities to see if blacks are being harassed.
McKnight shooting raises questions on 'stand your ground' law
Los Angeles County settles civil rights case with Justice Dept.
Louisiana shootings: Rampage leaves 4 dead, 3 injured

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text:
Narrator: Brittany Pressley, Kirsten Potter, Robert Petkoff
Published by Penguin Random House Audio Publishing Group on March 15, 2022
Genres: Mystery, Ghost Story, Paranormal
Purchase at Bookshop.org or Audible
A true crime blogger gets more than she bargained for while interviewing the woman acquitted of two cold case slayings in this chilling new novel from the New York Times best-selling author of The Sun Down Motel.
In 1977, Claire Lake, Oregon, was shaken by the Lady Killer Murders: Two men, seemingly randomly, were murdered with the same gun, with strange notes left behind. Beth Greer was the perfect suspect - a rich, eccentric 23-year-old woman, seen fleeing one of the crimes. But she was acquitted, and she retreated to the isolation of her mansion.
Oregon, 2017. Shea Collins is a receptionist, but by night, she runs a true crime website, the Book of Cold Cases - a passion fueled by the attempted abduction she escaped as a child. When she meets Beth by chance, Shea asks her for an interview. To Shea's surprise, Beth says yes.
They meet regularly at Beth's mansion, though Shea is never comfortable there. Items move when she's not looking, and she could swear she's seen a girl outside the window. The allure of learning the truth about the case from the smart, charming Beth is too much to resist, but even as they grow closer, Shea senses something isn't right. Is she making friends with a manipulative murderer, or are there other dangers lurking in the darkness of the Greer house?
The Book of Cold Cases is atmospheric, suspenseful, and a bit spooky.
Shea Collins works as a receptionist in a medical office, but her true passion is her website, the Book of Cold Cases. She writes about unsolved murders, a project inspired by her own abduction as a child. Divorced and alone, she has few friends aside from her sister, Esther, and an ex-cop, Michael, who helps her with research.
Then a client comes into the office: Beth Greer, who was charged and acquitted for the murders of two men in 1977. When Shea asks rich and aloof Beth for an interview, Beth surprisingly agrees.
Shea gets sucked into the case, talking to Beth, Beth's lawyer, the police officer who was assigned to the case back then, anyone she can find with a connection. But the closer Shea gets to the truth, the more troubling and threatening the past becomes.
We've got two timelines, 2017 when the book is set and forty years in the past when the crimes were committed. I liked the glimpses into the 70s, the styles, the furnishings, the attitudes. Shea and Beth are both intriguing, strong women, and how their relationship evolves is interesting. Sometimes they seem almost like friends, like the other is the only one who can understand them. At other times, they're adversaries, with Shea shining a light on secrets that Beth is maybe not all that ready to divulge. That tension between the women keeps the story moving.
Overall, the story kept me engrossed, even if the mystery itself was a bit predictable.
Flawed, strong female characters
About Simone St. James
Simone St. James is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of The Sun Down Motel, The Broken Girls, and The Haunting of Maddy Clare, which won two RITA awards from Romance Writers of America and an Arthur Ellis Award from Crime Writers of Canada. She wrote her first ghost story, about a haunted library, when she was in high school and spent twenty years behind the scenes in the television business before leaving to write full-time. She lives outside Toronto, Canada with her husband and a spoiled cat.
Website | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Instagram
UncategorizedGhost
I don't always love dual timeline novels, but I do love Simone St. James, so I'm looking forward to reading this one. Great review! 🙂
This is the first St James book I've read, but Sun Down Motel is on my list to pick up.
Felicity Grace Terry
Crime, a website dedicated to … crime, what sounds like two strong female protagonists, glimpses back to the 1970's, yes, this most definitely looks like my kind of book.
I enjoyed it. As long as you're okay with ghosts – my husband won't read or watch anything with ghosts in it.


It is with great pleasure to announce the graduation of Cherish & Roberta on Thursday, April 20th at 7:30 pm. All are encouraged to join us for this special event. The evening will consist of the main ceremony followed by coffee, tea and snacks. You may also take the opportunity to personally congratulate the grads!


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The Herald office at California and Chestnut in Everett on April 11, 1892. (Everett Public Library)
Looking back: Journalism in early Everett
by Herald Staff
Saturday, September 28, 2019 6:28am
LifeLocal News
In 1889, statehood brought not only excitement and celebration to newly admitted Washington, but also opportunity and speculation.
Among those seeking their fortunes in the nation's freshly minted 42nd state were newspapermen. (And yes, they were mostly men.)
By April 1892, a newspaper calling itself The Everett Herald had established offices in a wood building with glass windows and a steepled roof at the corner of California and Chestnut streets near the current-day Interstate 5-U.S 2 interchange. All around the journalistic enterprise a boom town was sprouting from the forest.
"By the spring of 1892, Everett resembled a city albeit with stumps," according to historylink.org, a nonprofit Washington historical website. "There were frame homes, schools, churches (land provided by the Everett Land Company), and theaters as well as 5,600 citizens, a third of them foreign born (mostly English and Scandinavian) enjoying streetcar service, electricity, streetlights, and telephones. The Everett Land Company won a suit to own the waterfront. The promise of riches in the mines in the Cascades spurred the building of the Everett-Monte Cristo railroad from there to a smelter on the peninsula."
Alas, those early salad days would be short lived.
In May, 1893, a financial crisis over declining gold reserves prompted what up to then was the worst depression in the nation's history. The so-called Silver Panic rocked Everett, prompting factories to close, banks to fail and residents to flee. A lack of money nearly bankrupted the city government. The streetlights were turned off. The Herald ceased publishing.
In 1901, Sam A. Perkins, a one-time traveling salesman from Iowa who would go on to become a Tacoma civic leader, regional newspaper publisher and national Republican Party stalwart for the first half of the 20th Century, bought the tiny Everett Independent. He re-christened it The Everett Daily Herald and operated the business from offices at 2816 Rucker. In 1905, Perkins sold The Herald to James B. Best, who would move the newspaper to the northeast corner of Colby Avenue and Wall Street, where it would remain for decades before moving once again in 1959 to Grand Avenue and California Street near Everett's waterfront. In 2014, by then having dropped Everett from the masthead and changing hands twice more, The Daily Herald you're reading today moved to its current location at 1800 41st St.
"Looking back," is a new weekly feature appearing Saturdays that examines our community's past.
KKK painted on trees near multiracial family's Snohomish home
Mystery illnesses spur Inslee to ban flavored vape products
Snohomish County man is first US case of coronavirus
A man in his 30s was hospitalized in Everett after contracting the virus during a trip to China.


text:
Q: Concavity of the difference of square roots Define $f:[0,\infty)^2\to\mathbb{R}$ as $f(x,y)=\sqrt{x}-\sqrt{x+y}$. I'm trying to see if $f$ is concave, i.e., if for every $t\in[0,1]$ and $(x_1,y_1),(x_2,y_2)\in[0,\infty)^2$,
$$
f(tx_1+(1-t)x_2,ty_1+(1-t)y_2)\geq tf(x_1,y_1)+(1-t)f(x_2,y_2).
$$
I'm not sure if it is true. One inequality that can help is $-\sqrt{y}\leq f(x,y)\leq \sqrt{y}$, obtained via triangle inequality.
Can anyone provide some hint?

A: Consider the function $f(0,y) = -\sqrt{y}$.


text:
Everything You Need to Know About Alternative Lending
Traditional loans can be a hassle with all the prerequisites involved. Many business owners have testified that accessing financing can be close to impossible, which is why alternative lending has come as a boon.
Likewise, alternative Lending in Australia is growing, as proved by its valuation at $1.13 billion. With this boom in business, it's crucial to know what it is and how it works.
What Is Alternative Lending?
Alternative lending is a large umbrella that includes any lend-borrow transactions that fall outside traditional banking. There are different types of alternative lending that fall under this umbrella. They comprise loans such as direct peer-to-peer loans, debt financing, and equity financing.
Alternative lenders have flexible and accessible loans, which allow more small businesses to succeed and thrive.
How Does Alternative Lending Work?
Alternative lending uses online platforms to bring loan investors and borrowers together. The models speed up the underwriting process to determine the credit risk of the consumer. Essentially, these platforms maintain the relationship between customers and loan investors. They act as servicers by sending cash flows from the investor to the borrower, apart from the net service fees.
Alternative lending also doesn't utilise funds to maintain a physical building and other associated expenditures. This cost cut gives them enough space to focus on streamlining processes while investing in other small businesses, which may be too risky for traditional banks.
The Evolution of Alternative Lending Schemes
One noticed this form of alternative loans first, in the United Kingdom and the United States, where there was underwriting of small amounts in 2005-2006. These were direct peer-to-peer transactions online, and the Global Financial Crisis then only fueled its growth.
These funding models eventually evolved from p2p to the predominant investors being institutional buyers. Presently, there are more than a few models available for consumers.
The Advantages of Alternative Lending
There are several benefits that this form of lending brings to the table. These advantages include simple application submissions and a faster approval period. The terms for underwriting are flexible, making this widely accessible.
Apart from traditional loans that come with an interest rate of 7 to 30 per cent, one can also opt for merchant cash advances and short term loans that can be more expensive. They tailor these loans to suit specific needs, and that versatility is necessary for the success of small businesses.
Types of Alternative Lending
Direct Lending
These loans are the most widely used and the most popular service in alternative lending in Australia. They work similarly to bank loans without the involvement of a bank. Institutions offer loans to small businesses, entrepreneurs, and even other investors. These are people who typically might not qualify for a bank loan, and, through this, alternative lending can bridge the gap left in the market. In this manner, businesses and investors receive opportunities to grow and succeed.
Venture debt provides the perfect alternative for companies who need to raise money for a specific venture (a round of venture capital financing) but do not wish to lose more equity to investors. However, if a company cannot repay a venture loan, it could lead to bankruptcy and repossession.
It is a simple transaction with the lender agreeing to pay an equivalent sum, along with interest, at a particular date.
Different types depend on how these repayments are made and received.
Alternative lending has provided an opportunity for those to whom the banks are inaccessible. While looking for a suitable service, remember to compare and look for better rates. Never settle, and happy investing or borrowing!


recreation room, steps from the first floor deck. Meals are prepared in the gourmet kitchen on the second floor and served family style in the dining room overlooking the water. Often eagles, black bear, seals, sea otters, sea lions, whales, mink, deer, and many other animals can be seen from the lodge. Southeast Alaska, Prince of Wales Island, and Paradise Adventures Lodge invite you to experience all that we have to offer….your Paradise Adventure is waiting!


Beauty vinegar: sounds a bit strange right. Two words you wouldn't usually place in the same sentence.
Forget the malt stuff, this is a sophisticated cleansing / toning / smoothing hybrid.
The concept sounds odd granted, but remember, people lost their minds when acids were first mentioned as an ingredient we should be using? you'd see perplexed faces and cries of 'what, acid on my face, no thanks'. Now we see it everywhere, even my other half understands the AHA and BHA lingo.
So firstly, what is beauty vinegar and what does it do?
It's a cleansing elixir that refines and purifies skin, inspired by the beauty preparations around the 18th century.
These master distillers created facial cleansing vinegars made from flowers, fruits or spices which became popular for their cleansing ability and creating a clear complexion.
Inspired by these vinegar-based formulas, Roger&Gallet Aura Mirabilis was born. Made with a nourishing blend of 18 botanical extracts – working in harmony to clear impurities, smooth the skins surface and leave the complexion with a healthy-looking glow.
Basically think of this as your second cleanse (if you're not wearing heavy makeup) / mild exfoliation. It's not designed to be a cleanser per se, it's also not recommended for the eye area so remove this separately with a cleaner. Once the initial cleanse is done, shake the beauty vinegar to mix the biphasic texture and apply to the skin using a cotton pad. As it's a vinegar it's more acidic which is beneficial for the skin, as it reduces the pH to a state the skin works best in.
Aura Mirabilis Beauty Vinegar helps remove makeup residue and gently remove dead skin cells. This then allows this skin to best absorb the skincare you apply next.
Why is there oil on the top?
Its biphasic texture concentrates 18 officinal plants in the essence phase and fruit vinegar in the watery phase. Oil and water naturally separate so the oil sits above the vinegar liquid. The 2 phases are mixed once shaken, then returns back to its separated state.
Does it smell like a chippy?
Scent wise – it's not as delicate as they suggest. It's got a very distinct smell (a pleasant one may I add – addictive in fact) So much so that if they brought it out as a fragrance I'd buy it!
It's got a floral scent that's freshened up with the sharpness of the fruit vinegar. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's similar to a Diptique fragrance. Heavenly.
Looking at the ingredients list below it is pretty packed. There's a great deal of botanical and fruit oils in there, and as legally required they have listed the ones that are known to be potentially allergenic.
Paeonia Alberiflora Root Extract – as the name suggests, this is extracted from peony root and has lightening properties. Think radiance, aka a brighter complexion – not skin whitening.
Dimethicone – an ingredient that's neutral for the skin and used in many cosmetic products, especially for sensitive skin.
Overall I'm a fan, I have used it quite a few times. It hasn't left any irritation and doesn't leave skin feeling tight or tingly. It feels mild and cleansing. I use after my cleansers, then apply my serums and layer creams or oils etc.
I have noticed my skin looks even and smoother after using this. I made a point of using it a few nights in a row and didn't see any redness or dryness.


text:
Q: Setting subsequent values to 0 I have a select query that brings back the following results

Date
Factor
AMT

2/2/2022
1
5

2/2/2022
1
23

2/2/2022
1
25

2/3/2022
1
56

2/3/2022
1
8

2/3/2022
1
67

What I am needing is for it to replace the factor value with 0 for the same date after the first date value.
so ...

Date
Factor
AMT

2/2/2022
1
5

2/2/2022
0
23

2/2/2022
0
25

2/3/2022
1
56

2/3/2022
0
8

2/3/2022
0
67

Is this possible with a LAG or other function
Thanks
Stephen


Do you have what it takes to play Roller Derby?
Next training class will be determined.
Typically training classes are be about 10 weeks long and practices are every Tuesday and Thursday (excluding holidays) from 7:30 to 9:30. The rink opens promptly at 7:00 so skaters have time to get geared up and ready to skate at 7:30.
What is the cost of roller derby training?
If you are interested in joining please fill out the following form for more information. Our membership Coordinator, Maully Mayhem will contact you ASAP.
You MUST purchase a mouthguard.
Please buy or acquire a few white shirts to write your name on (front and back).
ICTRD has a handful of donated gear that we allow new girls to use until they are ready to purchase their own gear, however it is limited. If you wish to borrow gear, it will be on a first come, first serve basis and if you do not have any part of the gear, you will not be able to put on skates.
We have plenty of skates that can be borrowed until you're ready to buy your own. You are more than welcome to bring your own skates if you already have some, or wish to purchase your own.
Practice is at Skate South which is located at 1900 E MacArthur Rd, Wichita, KS 67216. Just East of the Drive In.
If you wish to participate, YOU MUST fill out the form below to contact ICT Roller Derby's newbie coordinator Maully Mayhem.
Does officiating at a roller derby game sound like an amazing weekend activity?
Would you love sending rule breakers to the penalty box? Get more information!
Would you love to get involved but skating isn't your thing?


text:
NGC 2300 est une galaxie lenticulaire située dans la constellation de Céphée. Sa vitesse par rapport au fond diffus cosmologique est de , ce qui correspond à une distance de Hubble de . NGC 2300 a été découverte par l'astronome français Alphonse Borrelly en 1871.

À ce jour, une douzaine de mesures non basées sur le décalage vers le rouge (redshift) donnent une distance de , ce qui est à l'intérieur des valeurs de la distance de Hubble.

Groupe de NGC 2276
NGC 2300 fait partie d'un groupe de galaxies d'au moins 13 membres, le groupe de NGC 2276. Les autres galaxies du catalogue NGC et du catalogue IC sont NGC 2276, NGC 2268, IC 455, IC 469, IC 499 et IC 512. S'ajoutent à ces 7 galaxies, les galaxies 3496, 3522, 3890, 4078, 4348 et 4612 du catalogue UGC.

Notes et références

Voir aussi

Articles connexes
 Liste des objets du NGC

Liens externes

 NGC 2300 sur le site du professeur C. Seligman

2300
Constellation de Céphée
Galaxie lenticulaire
Objet de l'atlas Arp
Galaxie découverte en 1871
Objet céleste découvert par Alphonse Borrelly

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


text:
Irwin Mt. Braddock (724) 515-2440
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By providing your information, you consent to the institution utilizing this information to contact you to provide more information using a variety of methods which may include, but are not limited to, phone (both mobile and home, dialed manually or automatically) email, mail, and text message and to our communication with you being monitored and recorded for quality assurance and training purposes. You may withdraw your consent by emailing marketing@wvjc.edu or using other electronic opt-out methods that may be made available to you.
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Irwin Campus
Chloe Eicher – Student Highlight
Tag: Chloe Eicher
United Career Institute would like to introduce you to Chloe Eicher! Chloe has been a medical assisting student at United since she graduated from Albert Gallatin Senior High School in 2019.
Chloe chose United for three reasons. The school is close to home, it's small, and they specialize in fast track training. "I always heard amazing things about this school and wanted to come here because of the reputation."
Chloe says that the Medical Assisting program will help her continue to build her medical career and reach her ultimate goal of becoming a surgeon. "It's a building block to becoming a surgeon eventually. I want all the education I can have before I reach that step."
Her favorite part of attending United Career Institute is the small class sizes and personable staff. When asked to choose a favorite teacher, she said, "I can't, I love them all!" Her favorite class is Anatomy, which she finds to be the most interesting one she has had so far.
After graduation, Chloe would like to continue her education in a school with a surgical technician program so that she can continue down the path toward becoming a surgeon.
Would she refer a friend to United Career Institute? "Absolutely. It's a wonderful school where everyone is nice and I love it here. I don't like much, but I love this school!"
To learn more about our fast track medical programs, request information here!
Irwin Campus | Mt. Braddock
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The information on this website was current at the time it was published. It is updated periodically. For the most current information, contact the campus directly. The information presented in this website is general in nature, addressing only highlights and not meant to be complete. Interested individuals should review the school catalog for details.
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text:
Agile Networks: Bring your own device, not your own virus
http://www.engineersjournal.ie/bring-your-own-device-not-your-own-virus/
"As more employees seek to use their own devices in the workplace, Darragh Richardson of Agile Networks has some advice for employers on reducing the risk to IT network security from 'bring your own device'"
Author: Darragh Richardson, managing director, Agile Networks Ltd
'Bring your own device' (BYOD) has grown steadily from IT marketing hype to reality as more and more employees turn up to work demanding IT access with their own devices, such as smartphones, iPads and laptops. Clearly, there are some obvious benefits in potentially saving costs (not having to buy them expensive phones and tablets) and increasing employee satisfaction. But what is the impact on the IT department, as this creates a whole new world of things to worry about?
The main concerns are twofold – firstly, ensuring that you know who is on your network and, secondly, ensuring that the devices your employees bring are clear of the myriad viruses that are out there. Issues that may arise if this is not done correctly include obvious security risks around viruses, malware and breaches to data.
On the other hand, if you design a system that locks out mobile users, they will at best feel frustrated and at worst try to find way around it, which could prove even more damaging.
So, how do engineers responsible for the network ensure employees aren't bringing potential security risks into the IT network? These six steps allow BYOD to deliver on its promise without wasting a lot of valuable engineering resource on fixing problems, policing users or exposing the wider IT network to security threats:
1. Specify what devices are permitted
Be clear about the difference between BYOD and COD (corporate-owned devices) and restrict access accordingly. Employees are less likely to download random apps from less trusted marketplaces on CODs. Additionally, IT can install security software on CODs and gain tighter control compared to employee-owned devices.
It is important to decide exactly what you mean when you say 'bring your own device'. Should you really be saying, bring your own iPhone but not your own Android phone? Make it clear to employees who are interested in BYOD which devices you will support and which you will not.
2. Establish agreed security principles for all devices
Employees do not like having passwords or lock screens on their personal devices. They see them as a hurdle to accessing content on their device. However, this is not a valid complaint—there is simply too much sensitive information available to smart phones on your IT network to allow unfettered swipe-and-go operation of these phones.
For example, insist on all devices having an approved mobile antivirus solution to provide a first line of defence, and network access control (NAC) to increase security by dynamically changing network access rights, therefore limiting the reach and potential impact of an infected device on the network.
3. Define a clear identity policy for all BYOD devices
To protect data moving across wi-fi and cellular networks, you need to combine two elements: ensuring devices are on a virtual private network (VPN) and that there is some form of identity-based authentication. In other words, at a minimum you should ensure users have to enter some form of password or electronic token to access information.
Consider SSL VPN solutions that include built-in device integrity checking, single sign-on and application support, and client as well as client-less implementation. VPNs can also be used to safely backhaul traffic through network web proxy or filtering solutions that are able to block IP addresses related to command-and-control botnet sites.
4. Mitigate the risk of malicious apps
Beyond concerns regarding who controls the device, there is a growing awareness that mobile applications sometimes have excessive data access and are a threat as a back door for network breaches and compromising data confidentiality. Rather than relying on standard device-level VPNs, consider application-level VPNs as a way to cordon off traffic coming from non-business critical mobile applications onto the corporate network.
5. Decide what apps will be allowed or banned
The question here is whether users can download, install and use an application that presents security or legal risk on devices that have free access to sensitive corporate resources. What if the latest Twitter app has a security hole in its integration with the Mail app on the iPhone that allows spammers to access relay mail through your organisation? (This is purely hypothetical, of course.) What if a poorly written instant-messaging client steals your organisation's address book?
Major considerations typically include applications for social media browsing, replacement email applications and VPNs or other remote-access software. You should implement solutions that help control what is downloaded on devices connecting to the company network. This may require solutions that support application blacklisting, and application whitelisting for highly sensitive environments, to disallow or restrict any device with unapproved mobile applications.
6. Set up an employee exit strategy
Do not forget about what will happen when employees leave the company. How do you enforce the removal of access tokens, e-mail access, data and other proprietary applications and information? You should have a clear methodology for backing up the user's personal photos and personally-purchased applications prior to an exit wipe.
Proactively reach out to help staff take part in this process, while making it clear that you reserve the right to issue a wipe command if the employee has not made alternate arrangement with you, prior to his or her exit time.
In summary, BYOD has the potential to increase productivity, increase employee satisfaction and reduce costs. But to achieve this you need a clear set of rules so that everybody knows what is expected and what isn't allowed. If your company does not have the in-house expertise, seek help from a third party – and most of all, make sure that the broader business is aware of the impact this will have across the entire corporate network.
Agile Networks designs, builds and supports complex IT networks and is headquartered in Blanchardstown, D15. It was set up in November 2011 after senior members of the management team successfully staged a management buy-out of Telindus' Irish operations and has since grown its revenues by over 500%, winning several high-profile contracts with companies such as Digiweb, Three, Magnet, HEAnet and the RDS. The company supports 50 customers across more than 500 sites with almost one million people using networks supported by Agile Networks. It was voted 'Best Start Up of the Year' at the 2013 ICT Excellence Awards and was recently one of 14 National Champions chosen to represent Ireland at the European Business Awards.
Agile Networks has been named as one of the 100 companies from across Europe as finalists in the 2013/2014 European Business Awards. The competition recognises and promotes excellence, best practice and innovation in the European business community. Four Irish companies have been selected from 375 National Champions in 31 European countries for the Ruban d'Honneur, which qualifies them for the third and final round of the competition. Agile Networks was selected as one of ten European finalists in the 'Award for Customer Focus'. The overall category winners will be announced at a gala event on May 27 in Athens.
Agile Networks has been named as a National Champion for Ireland


Our funeral home was established in 1939 by William F. Morse (1910-1996). The previous Morse Chapel was purchased and renamed the Misiuk Funeral Home in 1974. The Misiuk family owns, operates and lives in the building so your loved one is not left unattended.
As a family, we have a special sensitivity toward those details that enable us to offer the most comforting and personalized service to the families we serve. Through our experience we are able to arrange a truly meaningful tribute for your loved one and help you chose from a wide variety of services and products. We will meet with you during the day, on evenings, at our funeral home or at your home, if you wish. We are capable of shipping and receiving your loved ones all over the world.
Misiuk Funeral Home is located in Chesaning, Michigan. Our facilities are accessible to the handicapped and there is ample parking. Thank you for visiting us and please feel free to explore our website or to contact us for any questions you may have concerning our services.