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140. How to Design Your Life in Alignment with Your Values - Angela Barnard
Be intentional in the way you shape your life & advocate for the activities you wish to do and the outcomes you hope to have.
ABOUT ANGELA
Angela Barnard is a Career Alignment Coach who helps people transition into a career that is more in alignment with who they want to be and achieve their biggest goals by developing the mindset, habits and systems they need to make the progress they want to.
She lives in a tiny house community in South Carolina and is the host of The Intentional Mind Podcast, a podcast all about intentionally designing your life using the power of your mind, faith and energy.
When she isn't coaching or podcasting, you can find her doing communications consulting with the U.S. Army, hiking or traveling galore with her husband.
CONNECT WITH ANGELA & HER WORK
- Intentional Mind Podcast
- Linked In
A lot of people, they're just letting other people design their life and they're not getting clear about their values and who they want to be. And then they're not intentional. And then they're walking around feeling unfulfilled. And that is why.
Welcome everybody today. I'm really excited to have Angela Barnard with us today. Angela is a very talented person that helps people get in alignment with what they want to do to design their life. And we're going to talk about that today and really look at how you can make sure that you're not living off of somebody else's roadmap, somebody else's dreams, that you're really aligned with, what's most important to you. Thank you so much for joining me today. Angela.
Thanks, Wade. I'm super excited to be here.
Awesome. So one of the things that you and I talked about in our pre interview, which was really interesting to me, was just this idea of not just being in alignment but really being intentional about things. And we both discussed different authors. We've read, and that word can be used a lot of different ways of being intentional. What does that look like for you when you're working with your clients and they're intentional, they're aligned. How does that feel for that person? And what does that look like?
Well, let's talk about the whole retention of intentional. Like you just said, it could mean a lot of different things to people. So what being intentional means to me is that my actions and my habits and my thoughts are in alignment with who I want to be. So if I say that I want to be a healthy person, I think, like, a healthy person. I have the habits of a healthy person. A lot of us are living out of alignment with what it is that we truly desire.
And that's what I think it means to be intentional is when you get those thoughts and those habits in alignment and for my clients, what that looks like is like, let's say I work with a lot of people that are in jobs where they feel like really unfulfilled in those roles. And they're coming to me trying to get clarity around what it is that they want to do, what are their next steps. And my first thing is, who do you want to be? What kind of lifestyle do you want to have?
What are your values? And then we're going to work on getting the environment and their habits and all of that stuff within alignment with their greater vision. So I really think being intentional starts with having a vision of who you want to be and how you want to live.
Awesome. Thank you. And one of the things that also gets used a lot, we've both heard this word vision. We've probably done. You and I have both probably done a lot of vision work in our time of what it's going to look like and how it can be. And I think a lot of people when they hear about that, they say, okay, this vision again, it's like back in the 80s and 90s, it's your vision. And then what it's going to look like? And your why? And after a while, if there's not a lot of substance behind it, it can sound kind of fluffy.
I know, coming from the corporate background, it almost sounded like, oh, gosh, they're talking about vision in Michigan. This is where they try to get us to buy into something that's not unnecessarily aligned with me for the company or whatever it might be, as opposed to what I'm looking to do. And even when I talk with entrepreneurs or individuals in a personal growth setting or in a life coaching situation where it's just about them, we've taken all other people out of the equation, at least hypothetically, there's still this sense of, well, this vision, it's kind of a fluffy thing.
What is it that requires you mentioned action? And again, most people know, okay, I've got to act on my vision. What does that look like with a client that, let's say, is struggling when they come to you where they maybe they do have a vision. They've done some work. Like I've got my vision board. I got a map. I've got cut out pictures from a magazine. I really do believe in this. I buy into this. I'm open to doing this, but it's not happening. And not in the sense that I'm sitting around doing nothing.
I think most of us are pretty clear. If you do nothing, division is not going to happen, but they're kind of struggling to get clear of what that action looks like. Or, hey, I've been working on this angel. Why is it not happening? Why am I not there yet? How would you advise that person or what does that look like when they're starting and when they're starting to make progress in the direction of them making that happen the way they want.
Yeah. So I think there is. So going back to the beginning of what you said is like, sometimes there's this perception that having a vision or you're thinking of a vision board or whatever that seems like too out there, like, you've heard it before, and you're kind of like, yeah, what's that really going to do for me? Because I know that I need to be taking action. So I think sometimes there's resistance to spending time becoming clear around the vision because they feel like I immediately need to start taking action.
So when I teach around visioning, I really bring in how the mind works and how the mind likes to have a vision, likes to have a plan and retention. And a lot of times people think, Well, I'm already clear around what it is that I want to get out of my job. I hate this job. I want to be an entrepreneur, but they don't know a lot about how the mind works in relation to making that goal of theirs an actual reality. A lot of times they get wrapped up in the results.
Part of it like, they'll be like, well, I want to have a business that makes X amount of dollars, right? And they forget that for you to have that result, you need to be a certain kind of person with a certain kinds of habits with thoughts, and that's the real work. When I talk about visioning is getting clear about who do you need to be, what kind of person and what are the habits that person has. So when someone is not achieving the results that they want, what I find is that I say that they're not using the recipe that leads to those results and that's mental programming and habits.
So when I help people set goals and have a clear vision, we talk a lot about how the mind actually works. And I talk about how when you set goals, instead of making them all results based, you make them identity based because most of the results that we have come from a subconscious place, 95% of everything that happens. Some listeners probably heard this before come from the subconscious. 5% from the conscious. So I find people come to me working really in the conscious mind where they're like, I want this.
I have this desire. I have this goal, but they forget that the real work happens in the subconscious, so they're not creating the results. It's because the habit, their identity. There's something about them that probably doesn't truly believe that they are that person or they can be that person, and they don't have the habits of that person. This is super simple. I always talk about weight loss examples because people can their brains can really grasp this. But let's say that someone really wants to lose weight and they're like, I'm not losing weight.
I've been doing all these things. Honestly, if you look at these people's habits a lot of times, they don't have the habits of a healthy person. They don't think like a healthy person. And if they're acting like a healthy person, it's going to be very short lived unless the mental programming comes along with that. Does that make sense? So I'm seeing with a lot of my clients that they come to me saying, like, I don't even need to spend time on visioning work. I don't need to spend time on getting clear on that because, you know what?
I already know what it is, the results that I want. But I need to help them more with getting clear around the identity and the habits they need.
Does that make sense that makes perfect sense? And there's a couple of things that you said that I think are really important to look at is number one habits. So I happened to be a person that's been married. So is my wife for 17 years, and I've sometimes had people say, Well, how do you stay married? And part of it is to be this thing. I'm a person committed to being married, and that's not enough. There are other people who are committed to being married. That still, it doesn't work out for various reasons.
But when I look at a habit, you hear about habits like, don't go to bed angry. And I wish I could say that we've always kept to that. That's not true. But there's a habit that I have that I think I got from my parents or somewhere in between they're still married. And I'd say happily married, too. But there are also moments where they're not as happy and they're still married. So it's not always every single moment of bliss. But this idea of being a person, the habit is that I'm always looking to how can I get back into alignment with the relationship?
How can I get back into a good place? So again, we'll have stumbles. We'll have arguments. We'll have different things, like any other relationship. But then right after that, right. When kind of come out of that temporary sense of either frustration or just kind of losing center when I come back to center, it's like, oh, what am I committed to? It's not even like it's sad. Oh, that's the habit. And so the habit is there. And it's not so much that I have this. I've not played out this long term vision of every moment of what it looks like.
I want to be happily married to my wife. Great. So for me, that's a very simple concept. But when it looks different ways, I think we're both willing to say, okay, that's our original vision. And so that habit of, okay, we almost know. And it's almost even a little safer to say, okay, I'm going to really say what I feel I'm really frustrated right now. But there's that habit that we're coming back to the relationship. And there's also a habit that we're gentle with each other most of the time, and we're respectful of each other over the majority of the time.
And so I think that makes it easier. And so sometimes the other part. And I'd ask for clarification on this because I think some people, to your point, get caught up in the vision. But whether you want to call it the actions, the habits they're not envisioning. I remember hearing a sports coach Sandis, they're not envisioning the practice that's going to get them there, let's say, or the exercises. What is that? And how does that tie in with the habits?
I love that because that's what I was trying to get at is that a lot of times people will say they know what they want, but they don't know what recipe. I call it a recipe to get to where they want to go, like the stuff that will actually get them there. And I think it's more important that you get clear on the habits that you need. You decide what kind of person you want to be and you get more clear on the habits. That way you can see yourself doing those things and being the key word here, being that person.
A lot of times, people live their life from this backwards way of thinking. They think, like, when I have that, then I'll Act that way. But how it actually works is you act like the person you want to be now, and that creates the results that you want to have. And what's really cool about this is this is how the mind works. The mind, if you think about 95% of everything we do and all the decisions we make is subconscious, it's identity based. So if you tell yourself in your mind, I want to be this person just like you said, Wade, you said, I want to be the person that is happily married.
And if you think right now, I am a person that is happily married. Then I show up this way. Then when things get hard, what I do is we lean into it. We talk about it, and that's what creates the results of the happy marriage that I want to have. If you are thinking, I'll Act like a happily married man. When we actually have a happy marriage, then I'll start acting that way. You're not going to have a happy marriage or it's going to be very short lived because you do have this me gone pretty quickly.
So the best thing to do is to start with identity first. Think about who like, if you were this person already the kind of person you want to be like, let's go to entrepreneurship. If you were already the kind of entrepreneur that you want to be, how would you show up every day? Because I'm telling you right now, if you don't have the results that you want, it is because you don't have the mental programming and the habits of the kind of person you want to be.
So the work that needs to be done is to figure out what's the mental programming very important, because the mental programming, the things that you're thinking will lead to the habits that you perform. So what I advise people to do is to get clear the kind of person they want to be. Let's say you want to be some kind of entrepreneur. Pick an entrepreneur that you really admire and that you like how they're living their life. I want you to listen to how they talk, what they actually say, because that is evidence of what they believe and then pay retention to their habits.
And a lot of times they teach you their habit, which is really awesome. If you adopt those beliefs, there's different ways that you can, in a sense, program your mind to believe the things that they believe because we're all getting programmed all day long from all the things, our environment, that's what marketing does. It tries to program us to take a certain action. So what I like to say is instead of letting other people program you program you, you get intentional about who you want to be.
You tell yourself those thoughts because there's three ways that you can program. You can program through repetition. I'll just talk about one of them real quick. So if you repeat to yourself, the things that you want to believe, like the kind of person you want to be would believe. I'll give you an example. A lot of people that I admire that have businesses that I'm just, like, live a life where they can travel. They have all this freedom. They have passive income coming in. Everyone that's listening like, you want a life like that.
And I've seen a commonality between how they think. They tend to say things like this, that everything is happening for them. They have that belief that abundance kind of mindset. They adopt that that things are an opportunity for them. Even when they're afraid to do something, they show up. They see it as an opportunity for them to learn and grow. They believe that every little bit counts. They honor their time in their calendar. These are mental programs that they have. It leads to certain habits. Like, if I believe, I honor my time and calendar, that means, first of all, I put stuff into the calendar that's important to me.
So that's an example of that. And that's a habit that I have every day. Maybe they plan their day out. They do evaluation, and then it leads to what it leads to the business that they have. So that's what I'm talking about. When it comes to being intentional, it's figuring out what is that recipe that you need and what's a part of that? What are the ingredients for you? It's kind of like if you want to make a cake, you got to figure out what are the specific ingredients that will make that cake.
And I like to think about it as mental programming and habits. And the ingredients will be different depending on the kind of cake that you want to make.
Great. Thank you. And one of the things that I think is so important, I like your thoughts on this is a lot of people are Crystal clear on the vision. I know what I want it to look like. And then in a lot of coaching, I do this, too. We talk about. Okay, what would you need to do to make that happen? Actions. What would that look like? And a lot of people get stuck in the planning phase, as opposed to starting doing something. And so I'll say maybe a distinction here.
They're waiting for the perfect plan versus starting perhaps the habit of doing something. So, for example, one of the things I learned with having a three day weekend is obviously there's different levels of three day weekends of how awesome they are. One you rode a private jet because somebody invited you and you were there. And then I don't know, just all these things happen. And then there's just really well, I just had to chill three day weekend. But I got to relax. And for me, the habit was to put something in my calendar on Friday that was worth doing.
And in combination with that to then if that was important enough to then finish up on Thursday, whether it was Thursday at midnight, Thursday, technically, maybe even a little bit after midnight. But to say in my mind, okay, Thursday is done. I'm going to Friday. The action plan wasn't perfect, and the action plan has changed. But I find so many people get caught up on the action plan. So I'm not going to implement to have the perfect action plan. And so I think to borrow your concept of recipe, I think sometimes people think, okay, but it's got to be the exact formula, as if there's only one way to Bake a cake as opposed to there's how I Bake a cake.
That's how you Bake a cake. And there's some commonalities. But it's not a chemical experiment where if you get one little neutron or whatever wrong, that the whole world is going to explode. It's a progress thing. And I find so many people get paralyzed because it's not yet perfect. How do you help people with that? And what could you share on that? That might help some of our listeners.
That's a really great question. So many do get wrapped up, even when we talk about habits, like, what are the specific things? And they obsess about that. Then they start making up stories, how they can't act that way because of whatever, and that stuff holds them back. What I like to say is just even when it comes to the goals, sometimes people or the vision they spend too much time obsessing about the wording of it and all that thing, just bring it back to one identity that you want to have one identity.
And if it's the entrepreneur that has freedom, so you could even just be like an entrepreneur or successful entrepreneur. And some people were like, well, that's too broad. But in your own mind, you have an idea of what that means to you. So that's already there. There's already images popping up in your mind when you say that. Now, think today, if I am already a successful entrepreneur, how would I show up today? And it could be as simple as, like, I create content. A successful entrepreneur creates content or creates products or services that help other people.
So what can I create and start working on today that will help someone else that seems broad, but it's just owning that identity. And as James Clear was saying, his book Atomic Habits, it's about every action you take is a vote for who you want to become. So thinking about today, how can I vote to become the kind of person that I want to become? And it's all like those small things. They matter so much because it's going to lead to big things. You know, I tell a lot of people that don't have an exercise routine going for them that they're proud of.
I say one adopt this belief that every little bit counts. Hold on to that belief because the people you want to be like, they have that belief. So hold on to that one. And then if every little bit counts and you're a person that is healthy, what do you do? Like you move your body every day, and maybe that your idea of a healthy person is working out for 2 hours or whatever your idea of a healthy person. But simplify that just to the fact that they move their body every day and start moving your body every day.
Be the person who does move their body every day. And if you do it for even five minutes and a lot of times, people say, well, what five minutes is going to do for me, what it's going to do for you? It's going to train your mind that you are the person that moves their body. So that's what I mean by like, you can simplify it into a smaller thing and start to take those votes. And it just will start building up. And I kind of think about it as like when you're building like a snowman, you start with your little ball and then you start small there, right?
And you just start adding to it. But wherever you're starting, it has to be a habit that the person that you would want to be actually would have. Even if it's a simplified version of their habit, it has to be some kind of habit, like eventually, if you want to get to the point of having a cell or a morning routine where you get to really have that time for yourself, your body, your Journal, you work on the thing that's important to you, but you're coming from having no routine.
Well, we all have routines, but waking up and then rushing, that's the habit that you're in. I would not advise someone like that to try to be doing a two hour morning routine when you're coming from zero. What you need to focus on more is actually being the person that has an retention morning routine. And if it's 15 minutes of movement or five minutes of movement, five minutes of mindfulness, five minutes of writing down what you're going to do that day. Cool. Because start there, because now we're programming the habit.
And then after you keep showing up that way, you start to, in a sense, train your brain and tell your brain that you are this kind of person. That's the real issue that people have. It's the identity issue. It's not so much the habits, but what the habit does is it allows us to program our minds anything that we do in repetition. I say, whatever you practice, you get really good at. So anything you do in retention. In a sense, what you're doing is you are training yourself to be a certain kind of person.
All of us are. Some of us are continuing to practice habits that are not in alignment with who we want to be. And then what we're doing is we're training ourselves to be a person that we don't want to be. And a lot of us are getting really good at, because whatever you practice, you get really good at. So you're getting good at becoming that version that you don't want to be like. If you are eating unhealthy repeatedly, over and over, you get really good at it.
You are training yourself to be the person that is unhealthy. So the question I would ask yourself is, who am I training to be?
Awesome? And one of the things that I think comes up for people around this is the best way I can consider is I'll use this term. There seems to be, at least for me, this identity hierarchy. So, for example, my desire to be the best husband and father I can is at a higher commitment level than my desire to be the most fit athlete I can. I'm committed to both. But if I have to choose between what's going to support my family versus what's going to get me a six pack, I'll support my family.
And I know the two are not mutually exclusive. But, for example, if on a certain morning, let's say I have a workout scheduled or whatnot. But something comes up with the family. Something life happens. Things aren't as intended. I know what I'll go to. And again, think of it. You said that word identity. It's a stronger identity. It's a stronger pull. It's a stronger commitment. I value it more. And I think what could definitely help people that we're talking to here. And for me, too, I'd be curious.
Your take on what's the difference between being intentional versus white knuckling? It versus being like, no, it has to be this way, being so attached that if it gets too precise in a vision, because I think a lot of people sometimes say, Well, I envisioned it this way. I saw it this way. Anything of relationships? Well, the person I'm going to either be in a relationship with or get married to, they're going to be this. And it's like, Whoa, maybe it'll happen that way. Maybe it won't.
How can we be intentional and committed and have these habits and yet still be open enough that there's room for life. There's room for if you believe in divine inspiration, there's room for, hey, synchronicity. Whatever it might be. How can people do that in a way that serves them so that they're not going off track. But they're still going to that main area that they're looking to be, in other words, being good enough to say or aligned enough to say yes, I'm going this direction, and I believe it looks like this.
But if something comes along, that's even more aligned that I can actually be open enough to see that as opposed, say, Nope, Nope. I've got my Blinders on. I'm going here, and maybe I even miss out on an opportunity for what was my true goal, my actually more core intention.
So I just wrote down and circled this word aligned you said earlier. What I help people do is really be more in alignment with who they want to be. So when you think of the word aligned, like being in alignment is, how do you know you're in alignment based on how you feel your GPS, the feelings is your internal GPS is what I'm trying to say. So anyways, if you're feeling like, let's say off about something or down or drained, that's an indication that you're out of alignment.
But one of the thoughts that I love to hold on to because it makes me feel in alignment is this I'm intentional, but I'm unattached. So I'm still retention about what I want to create in my life. I still am intentional about how my day goes, but I'm not attached when I start getting attached and it has to be this way, it feels off. It feels like I'm forcing something that doesn't feel like alignment. That's not what any of us want to feel like. So adopting that belief, I'm retention, but I'm unattached will serve you.
Then you talked about this hierarchy around your identity, like, let's call them identity based goals, like you have this hierarchy, like, one is a little more important to you, and maybe one is not as important. What I like to do with people when they feel like people come to me and they say that they're clear. I'm telling you, the number one challenge I've seen with people is that they're not as clear as they think they are because they're not in thinking about this as a whole, like the whole recipe.
And it's hard because if you're not thinking about it in this way, you will continue to self sabotage and you will continue to not get the results that you want until you consider all of this, the bacteria components, all of that stuff. So one of the things I love to do with people right away, I don't care how clear they say they are is. I like to have them do a wheel. So I'm sure people have seen this. There's a life coaching wheel. It looks like a circle, and it has different pieces of the pie, and each piece indicates an area of your life so you can have relationships, work, spirituality, family, all of that.
So out of all of these areas of your life. I have people rate them on a scale of one to 1010, being like, I'm really satisfied with this area. One I'm not. And that's my starting point to see what areas people actually want to improve on and that's I always use to help them come up with goals. So I will say, like, oh, I see. This is the lowest area in your life. And what that tells me is that this is the area of your life that is generating what I call the highest level of catabolic energy in your life.
So what that is is there are two kinds of energy. Everybody knows energy exists. This is not weird, weird stuff. This is science. Everything is made up of energy. So in my work, I'm also teaching people about the energy that they're generating and bringing into a space. So if you're lower, you're generating more catabolic energy. This is energy that most likely to think of as negative. It's energy that's draining. This is probably an area of your life where you have more resistance around. It's probably an area of your life that you're living out of alignment in because going back to the feeling.
So I always like to look at what's lowest there. And I say if we were to move you up two numbers like, you're at a five right now, if I moved you up to a seven, you were like, at that level of satisfaction, what would need to happen for you? And they would be like, well, I guess like, let's say I have a client recently who was like, well, I want to create more passive income. So for me, it would be like, my work. I'm at like, a five.
But to move up to a seven, I think I would need to have a course out that I created and I could sell it. And I say, okay, so that's the have and then we back it up into. So who do you want to be? You want to be an online course creator? How does an online course creator show up? They create content. They share their content. So that means that stuff needs to get in your calendar. And I've also advised that every morning when you wake up, you tell yourself I am an online course creator, and therefore you show up that way.
So visualization is another tool that you can use, even just seeing yourself. You know, that athletes use this. So going back to as far as the values, the different kinds, the wheel can always help you kind of assess where you are. I think everyone I'm constantly doing that. It's a great way to come up with goals if you feel like you're kind of stuck with goals. But another thing I like to do with these different areas is another tool. Next that I work with these areas that I use this tool in conjunction with is a values assessment.
So this also helps people come up with goals. So when you're clear on, let's say, like, family is a huge value of yours. Like you told me, your family is a huge value of yours. I'm scaled one to ten. You're telling me this is a ten, my family most important thing to me. And then you said to me, health is important to me. I value that as well, but that's more at probably like an eight. Okay, cool. So when we look at those, when you're waking up in the morning and let's say your family is going to take priority because, yeah, you value your health, too.
But your family is more important to you. So I always like to have people rate. I love using rating systems because it allows people to have awareness. So when they start to rate, I'll say, Well, how are you living in alignment with that? So if you tell me your family is at ten to you, and then what you do is you show up and work always takes priority over your family. You don't prioritize spending quality time with them. You're living out of alignment. So when people see their values, it's huge awareness for them.
I remember I was working with this guy who I used to teach this career transition class, and he came through my class three different times repeatedly. And I was like, he pulled me off the last class that came, he pulled me off to the side. He said, Keep coming to these classes because I'm hoping I can figure this out. But I just feel like something's missing. I feel like it's not that I don't like my work. He's like, that's the thing. I actually love what I do, but I just feel so unfulfilled.
So I was like, let's just do a value assessment, because what tell me right now is you are feeling this way because you're living out of alignment with some major values of yours. I know that to be true. And when people come to me and they're unfulfilled, it's always one of two things. One, you're living out of alignment with your values or two. You're not using your strengths in a way that feels good to you. It's one or the other. Always. So had this guy do an assessment or the values assessment, and it came up family the most important thing to me.
And I said, okay, it's a ten for you. How do you feel like you're honoring this? Would you say, one, two, a ten. And he's like, I mean, like, a two. And I'm like, Well, what's that about? And he's like, well, I guess my work always has me gone. He's like, I have a toddler, and I haven't been to any of her birthdays since she was basically when she was. I think it was even deployed when she was gone or something or when she was born.
So anyway, she's like, that. And then, yeah, and I said, okay, well, this is why you're feeling unfulfilled. It's because you're not honoring that value of family. So when you make your next decision about the career that you're going to do next, that is your priority. And it changes when you know these values, it changes how you advocate for yourself. It changes how you design your life. And that's why people listening right now. I know you all want that freedom in your life. You have that value, probably around family, around having the freedom to do what you choose.
So you really need to consider those values with every single decision that you make when it comes to the work that you do. And you need to advocate to always honor those values, because a lot of people, they're just letting other people design their life and they're not getting clear about their values and who they want to be. And then they're not intentional. And then they're walking around feeling unfulfilled.
And that is why I think there's so much to that. A lot of people are, in my experience, looking for someone to tell them what would make them happy. So if you've ever seen the movie Big with, I think it was big. Yeah, it was big. When Tom Hanks asks the chauffeur driver, he says, Well, what kind of clothes should I wear? The chauffeur driver stops the thing and pulls up clothes is very sacred to me. Clothes tells you who you are. I can't tell you who you are.
And I think a lot of people are if they're not fulfilled by gosh only knows what definition because some people might have less or feel like it's fulfilled or expect less. But I find so many people are looking outside of them and they're seeing somebody else that's doing well. And they're saying, okay, that looks fulfilling. But there's a few variables that are different. Simple example in our field, there are many people that are, let's say, working 60 hours a week and they are doing awesome things in the field.
And I've seen some of these people that they're just happy. Now. One variable that I sometimes see is, Well, guess what way they don't have children and they might be married. But there's even a different thing as parents. It takes a good 2030, 40, 50 hours a week to really be present for your kids, depending on what level you want to be at. And so it's not that these people are higher achievers than the people who happen to have kids. They simply have less things going on.
And yet if you're a person that says, Wait, you're measuring yourself against them. And I've done this where okay. Well, I should be doing this and they're doing all these things. And again, it can be an excuse if you're not careful. So it's not to say if you have children, you can't do great things because you can go down a really not so good spiral and then blame your kids for why you're not where you're at. That's not what I'm talking about. Simply saying, if it takes a certain amount of time, identity to be that father or that parent, let's say just to throw a number on it again, if it takes 30 hours a week to be the type of parent you want to be, and you're working 40 hours a week, well, that other person can drop 70 hours a week just as easily.
And yeah, you know what, if it's high quality work and of course, there's research, we get tired after a certain amount of time and whatnot? But still, if that's that person's main priority, and they're also talented, guess what? They're probably going to grow all things being equal. They're going to grow it at a faster pace in that one dimension of their life of career, whatever it might be. And I think a lot of people have unrealistic expectations about that. They're seen outside, and it's not necessarily hate.
It's not jealousy. It's like, gosh, that person has that I want that so badly. And yet it's not so much that it's unrealistic. It's actually out of alignment with what they truly value. So I'm wondering, when you work with people, how often do you find that a person like this person you were just mentioning isn't even really Wade that they're out of alignment with their own truest, their own ideals, their own values, what they hold dearest. And when they see that, what does that shift look like, or is that easy for most people?
Is it hard for most people to then make that shift? Because now they've got this other identity that there's at least some stock. There's some time I've put energy in this and put time into this. How is that that people identify that when you help them and what's that loss, if you will, the opportunity cost to say, okay, now I've got a shift because that in coaching. Seems to me one of the things that's toughest is when people realize, okay, I'm going to have to give something up.
I can't do both of these. How does that play out in your experience?
Well, a lot of people are not aware of their values. If you ask people, what are your top values? They'll be like, what do you mean? Some of them people will be like, I value my family. But a lot of times they're not aware that the way that they're living their life doesn't show that they value their family. And how do you know that someone is in alignment with their values? You can look at how they're spending their time and their money. You can also look at their calendar.
If you say something is really important to you, you don't spend a lot of time on it. You don't invest in resources in it. It is not important to you or you're living out of alignment with that. And we see this a lot with entrepreneurs, too, where they'll say, like, yeah, my business is important to me. Or it's important that I become this kind of person. And some people have the clarity around saying, like, I want to be the entrepreneur that values their family, that is present, that has more time with them.
That doesn't have to work constantly nonstop. That's who I want to be. But you'll see that they don't even line their resources up with that. It's like they think that you're going to need to invest in being that person. So that's another way of looking at this, too. Living in alignment is like looking at how you use your resources, your time and your money. But going back to as far as I wrote down here, what you're going to be losing in a sense, when you change, like, when you get this awareness and you're like, Whoa, wait.
I'm living out of alignment. So what's happening here? So going back to the example I gave earlier, the guy was a pilot. He started his career in the military, and then he went to do pilot stuff with another corporate organization. And anyways, so he had this identity that I am a pilot, even subconsciously, maybe not even like, he wasn't aware. I am a pilot who works nonstop. That is who I am. And he behaved that way a lot of times. I shine a light around. This is the identity that you're playing out.
And how do I know that if you're wondering what is happening at the subconscious level, how you can know if your programs are in alignment or what identities you might have because you're not aware is to look at your results. Your results will show you. So because he was working excessively prioritizing the role of being the pilot, he's identifying it Jas Takhar kind of person. Right? So now I said, who do you want to be now that you're aware that this is something that you really value in your life, you're not living in alignment with it.
What kind of person do you want to be? And he's like, I want to be the dad that is present that goes to all of my daughter's birthday parties and is there for all of her fun stuff. Okay. So what do you need to do now, if you were that dad that was present, how would your work look what would be different for you? And he's like, Well, I guess what I would need to do is I take on a role where I was home more.
Okay. He was like, but I think that's hard for me. It's like, I really still love being a pilot. I like it. Okay, well, you can still be that pilot, but you got to advocate for yourself in a different way. Like, maybe you find another organization you work for, and you say, hey, I really value family. That's really important to me. So if I take on this role and I want to be home this much. I've seen so much with career coaching where people feel unfulfilled, but they don't do the work to design the life that they want.
They just take life as it is, and I'm a person and so is my husband. People are like, how do you guys always have so much time off? I have four consulting contracts. I run my own coaching business group and one on one coaching business. And I work with four other different organizations. And I have a lot of freedom and flexibility because I've designed my life that way because I was intentional about it. The same thing with my husband. My husband's, a dentist, works your typical business hours, except he has an excessive amount of time off where people are like, do you ever work because he advocated for that?
And every time he takes on a role, he's like, no, I'm not taking on this role unless it honors my schedule. And I can tell you that he has, I don't know any of his friends that have that much flexibility. And I'm telling you the reason why they don't, and they're the same field. The reason why they don't is because they don't advocate for themselves because they're not intentional about designing the life that they want. You have to be intentional about it. If you're not intentional about it, it won't happen.
What will happen is you will default to the agenda of everybody else. And when you even take on a new role, like, for some of you out there listening, you're like, I'm fine. Maybe some of you want to stay in the current role that you're in, but you just wish that you had more freedom. You wish that you had the three day weekend. I'm telling you that you can advocate for that, design your life that way and really think about what brings you joy and what shifts your energy into the States that you want to feel like, what makes you feel good and that's going to have a lot to do with your environment and what's happening around you.
And you can be intentional about shaping that. I even bring it back to, like, when you take on a new job thinking about the space that you're going to be in. Like, if you're going to be working in an office room and you have, like, there's no windows, people always complain about being in a space that has no windows, and it's like, shoot, before you take on a job, ask them, what is it going to look like in my office, advocate for a different kind of office.
If you sit there and you tell me you value professional development and grow so much, then I want to see that in your negotiation. When you're taking on a new role, that's what I mean about being intentional with your life. Get clear around who you want to be what kind of lifestyle you want to have? What are your values and advocate for yourself? Design your life in alignment with that?
Yeah, the advocating part is so unbelievably huge. And I don't think there's ever been a time in my lifetime that it's been easier to advocate specifically for whatever a person wants. And it doesn't mean you'll get everything you want. But when you look at the flexibility that's going on now of people getting used to people working from home corporations realizing that, you know what? Maybe we don't have to have everybody in an office building to get productivity from them. And in fact, maybe that's not the most financially intelligent way because it's costing us so much in overhead.
And are we really making that up by having people in a space? There's so much going on. And, yeah, you have to advocate before it's almost like any other relationship. If you go into a marriage and you're about to get married and person A says, Well, part of this agreement is I get to sleep with whoever I want to whenever I want to, and you say yes, and that's not what you want. That probably wasn't a good idea, and that's maybe an extreme example. But people will sign on to jobs, and they'll just say, Well, that's what they're offering.
First of all, it doesn't mean they're not open to something else. That's just what's on the menu. So one of my friends is like, Wade, you often ask for either what's not on the menu or to specifically put things together. So a few reasons, one is because I know what I want and not in some sort of demanding. I'm better than you way. But because I'm going to ask for. And if you tell me, no, we can't do that. Or, I don't know, fried rice. The stuff is already mixed together.
No way we can't take out the onions because you don't like onions. Okay. Hey, it is what it is. But at the same time, why wouldn't I ask for what I really want? Second, I might inspire this other person to realize, oh, my gosh, we could do fried rice without onions. But when it comes to the employment field, even more importantly, when people say, oh, wait, maybe there are other talented people out there. I think of the stay at home mom not so much only with the College degree, but specifically, so many stay at home moms with advanced degrees that for so many years remained unemployed while they were raising their children.
And it was so many companies were binary. Either you work for us 40 hours a week plus or nothing. And these are some of the most intelligent and powerful women I know. They're committed to family, all the values that you would want in these positions. And all they're saying is, I only want 10 hours a week. In fact, I'd love please going to have 10 hours a week. I'm losing my mind staying home with my kids. But I want that. But my family still comes first.
But I can still do something. And there's, like you said, once you're in the job, it's pretty much too late. And it's almost I wouldn't say it's irresponsible, but it's almost not fair to them because they said, no, you told us this is what you want. But when you come in and say, hey, this is what's important to me. And it's not a power dynamic. It's not. I'm trying to take advantage of it's, simply saying for me to be the person that I want to be long term in this company and I want to be let's talk about the pot.
I want to be a great pilot with this company for the next 20 years. I know I can't do that, though. 60 hours a week, let's say, is the normal shift. I can do that for 30 hours a week. So guess what? I'll be happy. I'll probably go nowhere. And by the way, employee turnover costs a little bit. Yeah, it does. It costs a truck load. And so I'll be happy. And you know what? There might be other people out there like me who could work the other shift of my thing.
And I'm even flexible with what days. It's not me saying it has to be this way or I won't do it. I can be flexible, that sort of a thing.
So wait, I want to touch on that because we all have the power to design our life. And this comes back to our communication, not only how we communicate with other people, but how we are communicating with ourselves. And Wade and I off here. We're talking about NLP, so neurolinguistic programming and how people teach this in very different ways. And in a nutshell, how I explain this and I have training in this is basically it's about looking at how we're communicating with ourselves, our own communication with ourselves, and then how this relates to everybody outside of us because it starts in our own mind.
So going back to negotiation because we're always negotiating, we are always intentionally designing our lives. Or maybe some of us are. We're always designing our lives, maybe not intentionally. But we have the opportunities, too. So when you are asking and advocating for the things that you desire, and I think you should always be doing this even when you go to a restaurant. Sometimes people like you gave that example, they believe, like, I don't want to be that person. But this is the thing. It's your body, right.
You're going to be putting food into you. It's like thinking about that with your work. It's like it's your life. You're the one who has to work there every day. You're the one who's going to feel the impact of that. Anyways. You can come from this place of like, it feels gross when someone comes from this place of, like, it has to be this way. I want it this way. Why does it feel gross? It's because the energy around it, the way that that person is showing up.
It's very ego focused. But when you show up from this higher energetic place and this has to do with your words because everything has energy. So even the words you use word choice is very important. It's important in your own mind, the stories that you're telling yourself. But it's also important when you're talking to someone else. So if you come, let's say I teach a lot around negotiation. And when someone is negotiating for something, what I always advise is that you approach this from a higher energetic state and you use the words like, we I want it to work best for both of us, not just me.
I can show up. Well, when this happens because I can be the best pilot for your company, and it can work well for both of us. If I show up in a way that really honors my values and the values that are really important to me are my family and whatever people. This is what I have found when you negotiate from this place. No one ever hates on you for saying I really value this. I want to honor my value. I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh, you're a crappy person, Wade, because you want to honor your value of family.
No, I don't think that way. So language is very important. So if you know your values, use them when you negotiate for what it is that you desire and just get curious when you approach the situation in this curious place, I wonder what could be possible stuff gets created in that state instead of thinking from the lower level mindset of, like, it is just what it is. That's what they offered me. Then that's a limited mindset. That's not you not looking for opportunity. I'm telling you right now, there's always opportunity, and it hurts my heart when someone just accepts a role without getting more curious about it, without considering their own values and how they can shape it into being who they want to be.
So my sister is a nurse, and she always had people telling her about, like, oh, people nurses experience a lot of burnout and just like, making up this story. And, yeah, some do experience a lot of burnout, but I always tell her and she's like, I'm just so sick of hearing this. And I said, look, this is your life. You can design it any way that you want. Yeah, some people have had the story that they experienced a lot of burnout. But guess what? Those same nurses can change careers.
They can find other roles. They can advocate for themselves so that it is immoral in alignment with who they want to be. And I'm here to say, if you're experiencing burnout, it is because you are not being retention like you're not living in alignment with your values, and that's probably going to require you to get clear on what those values are and to have some conversation around it. Otherwise, you'll just default into doing what everybody else wants you to do.
Yeah. And I think so many people assume that it's a confrontation if you say to employer, here's what I'd like, because again, as somebody who's an employer and has been an employer and work with employers, the best situation in general, in a generic sense, for an employer is to hire somebody, develop them and have them stay with you your entire career. It's just there's less training cost, there's less friction. So when a person comes in and says I can commit to 40 hours, but they really are only in it for 20, that's not helping the employer.
That's hurting the employer. That's holding back, as opposed to saying, Look, I can give you 20 awesome hours a week. I'm open. I'm flexible within these timeframes. Use one of the most basic examples for often, Moms, but sometimes it's Dads as well is to say, hey, my kids are in school. I'll use the United States as an example, 180 days out of the year. I am committed to working 5 hours a day those 180 days because I can be the parent I need to be for my children when it's summer.
I'm not committed to being there. In fact, I'm committed to being somewhere else. I'm committed to being with my family. And I think that's one of those types of arrangements people are going to see happen more and more. I mean, teachers already have that, for the most part, that's the nature of that job, and it's scheduled in a couple of days here and there. But it's something that's so clear because as a person who's not sure and hires people at times, I only want your best hours if you're good for 900 hours a year.
I don't want to be paying you the other 1000 hours a year that you're going to just I'm not fully present. You're almost stealing from me. So again, I'm approaching from almost a little bit of an intense the other approach to say, You're not doing the employer a favor. That's a story to say that's inaccurate to say that you're doing the employer a favor, to lie about what you really want. It's no different than lie in about a relationship and saying again, I don't want to be married if that's the truth that you do or it's okay if you do these things when it's not.
So I think we set ourselves up for that, and we're afraid that maybe someone will tell us no. But when you look at there's over seven and a half billion people on the planet, chances are somebody's going to say yes if you look at indeed or any job boards, there's so many places out there. And if you can look a little further, it's not so much that you have to have people adjust to you. It's just can you find that person that says, That's what I want.
I want somebody who's happy and they're going to give 30 hours. In fact, you know what? As you and I both know there's employees will say, I can only afford 10 hours a week of your time. So I'd love you to work 10 hours a week with me. Or, like you mentioned, you have four people, four groups you're working with. And my guess is, and I love your thoughts on this. The chances are each one of them, it's working out for them to have the way you're doing it.
And sometimes not necessarily. This is your situation. It can be where the person says, oh, we can't afford. I'll use just a random example. But we can't afford a $50,000 CFO. But there are five companies. Or there's six companies that can afford a $10,000 a year CFO. And now you're making $60,000. And you've got flexibility because you're looking at your intention, but you're open enough to it looking slightly different than this fixated vision.
Yes, that is the key. It's about everything we do. We do it because we think it's going to make us feel a certain way. So I say, if you're going to get attached to anything, get attached to how something makes you feel and going back to negotiation. We love it on the employer's end when someone shows up and they're confident in themselves and they know what they want. And they say, I really value these things. We like that we find that person attractive, somebody we want to bring on our team versus the mindset of someone that you know how I've done a lot of interviews and when I'm like, do you have any questions?
No, I think I got it. I'm good. You don't have any questions like you're about to take on a job. You're spending a big chunk of your life here, and you don't have any questions that's alarming to me on my end, I used to hate this when I was an employer or when I was a manager. And I had 25 employees that I supervised. And I remember I hired a big chunk of them when I came on board, and I remember that not one of them negotiated their salary.
And that was hard for me because I was like, I wanted them to because when it came to HR, I remember these are social workers, so they're Masters level social workers. They're making crap for money. And we were a nonprofit. So it's not like we could pay an excessive amount. But I was just amazed that none of them advocated for themselves. And I remember telling our HR Department I was like, okay, we got to pay her more. She's worth way more to us than what she's getting.
And she's like Angela, she accepted that. What do you mean? We got to pay her more? She accepted that. So even on my end, I wanted to advocate for her, and she didn't. And I've seen this play over and over. Like, when I took that job, I remember I made over 20 grand more than the person was in the role for me because I simply asked for it. I advocated it and sometimes think about come from this mindset of curiosity and opportunity, like, maybe they can't give you additional money because they just don't have it.
What are some other ways? What are some other things that they can do that improves your quality of life that will make you feel like you want to feel so for me, I've advocated for gym membership. I've advocated so I came from a nonprofit background, and I worked in mental health before I started doing all the entrepreneurial stuff, but I advocated for those. Yeah, the gym memberships additional time off because I value freedom. I advocated for additional paid time off courses. I always advocate for personal development.
That's a huge one for me. I'm always thinking about, like, what else will help me? And plus, it helps me show up more excited about the role, too. And they're happy to invest in me. It's not like they're annoyed with me. And that's the other thing when someone's like, well, I'm afraid that if I negotiate for this role, then they're going to take the job away from me. No, they're not the worst that they're going to say. They already took all this time to interview you to get you to this point of offering you a job.
You think that they're going to straight up be like, no, I don't want you anymore because you asked for more. They're going to just straight up and say, no, we can't do that. But it all comes back to how soul work things. And if you're like, I don't want to make them mad. Well, then don't come from a lower level energy and be like, it has to be this way. Think like, I want to be the best employee for you. I want this to be a win win scenario for us.
In order for me to show up in my best way, I need to honor my value of family, personal growth. I even say I need to honor my value of being intentional with my finances. I used to always negotiate that way. I'd say, hey, me and my husband are really trying to pay off all of our student debt. That's very important to us. We have a big financial goal to pay it off. By this time. In order for us to do that, I would need to make this amount of money.
How open would you be to increasing the salary, too? And I just leave it. Language is key. You notice I said, how open. A lot of people don't like to think of themselves as someone that's closed. It's just like a psychological thing. So if you even use those words, we honor values. I'm grateful for this opportunity curious, that stuff. All of those words generate this different kind of energy. You can feel it versus me saying it has to be this way. Even if I just say those words, you feel the difference.
And that's why I always encourage people to do is approach really approach life from this mindset of your curious and you're looking for opportunity. I'm always looking for opportunity. When people ask me, they're like, Are you looking you're looking for another job? Like, what the heck is you have all these contracts. I'm like, I'm always open for opportunity. I'm curious. And I think that's why I create the results that I'm proud of is because I show up from this place of curiosity and believing that there's always opportunity that's so important.
And a lot of the times when I work with people in sales coach and I say, look, it's not that there's a formula to gain a person to say yes, but there's a lot of things you can say that will definitely make them say, no, us versus them or me versus you sets that up in such a different way. And I really love your point about just really communicating your values because some people will say, if you're in the wrong place and you say, I value family, this that and the other.
And if they truly value that, you work 80 hours a week and don't whine they'll say, no, sorry, you're in the wrong place and you're doing them a favor and you're actually saving yourself a lot of heartache. You're just nipping it in the bud big time versus if you say this is what's important to me and you're giving that person this is one of the most important things I think. And this is in my experience, depending on how you do, it can be an attempted manipulation, which will very often backfire you because people can read people or if you generally come from a space of you know what?
Like you said, are you open? Have you considered what you're basically doing is you're respectfully saying you have the power, so it's up to you. But have you thought about it if you all discussed because in my situation, I can speak for me, a survey of one. This would be the game changer for me. Like you said, what's? Negotiating the time off. There's these different things. And so often, if you just say, well, hey, we can't pay that amount. Okay. Well, then I know I can get the job done in four days instead of five.
How about we see and again, looking out for them like an economic adult, what are the criteria that you need done? What does a person get done in five days? I'm just going to say widgets or tasks. They do five tasks in five days. I'm going to say, great, if I can get these five tasks done in four days because I'm going to commit you that I'll work four days. If I only get four tasks done in those four days, pay me based off of four days.
But if I get that fifth task done or even better, what about this? If I get six tasks done, can we forget about how many days I work? And can you just pay me for five days worth? So now you're gaining something. You're getting a 20% more. You're getting six tasks instead of five. I'm getting something. I'm working four days instead of five. And we're now more setting up a result situation. And again, so much of this.
The we win mindset that will always serve you. And a lot of times there's creative things that you can do, even in your own situation around if you're like, oh, it would really be nice to make more money. Well, you can even look at how you've been spending money. So, like an example that I give. I've seen this with my clients where they pay a lot for daycare. And I'm like, think about it this way. If you work only four days a week, that's one day of daycare that you don't have to pay for, and that can save you money there.
And then also, if we advocated for you to work from home, we can save money on gas. Oh, like, you don't take on like, let's say someone is taking a new role and they're offered all these health benefits. And the company is like, Well, no, I can't give you more. We offer all these benefits. And you could even say like, well, I don't need those health benefits because maybe your spouse holds health benefits for you and then even just showing them how well this benefits you because you don't have to pay me these health benefits and just always be thinking about how it could work best for both of you, because even like, going back to the days, like, if you work one day less, you could save money less than daycare.
But you could also say that for some reason this benefits the company because even like, another way of negotiating is to ask if they would be open to seeing how this soul work out. Like, let's say some people who want more freedom or they just really want to work from home. I will always ask them to have a conversation with their supervisor around trying it out. And there's not much risk there, you say, could we just try it out? Let's try it out for a couple of weeks.
We'll see how it goes. If you think that it is not working out, then you can just remove that. We don't need to be doing that. And people are more willing to work with you. If you say things like that, if you consider them because this is the point. I'm considering that person. I'm considering that they feel like this is a risk. They haven't tried this. They're a little afraid about it. So it's coming in with this mindset of both of you when you come in with all about me, when you even just approach life like this in general, I mean, I talk a lot and I teach a lot about energy, how everything is energy.
And I really do teach it from this place of this is science. I'm not out here being like, I don't know, like, super woo where you're like, I can't even listen to this girl. This is ridiculous. No. You get these concepts because you know how it feels. You know how it feels to be around someone who's all about me, me, right. And we know what it feels like around someone. Super negative drains or energy. We know what it feels like to be around someone that uplifts us.
It feels good to be around them. So this energy is being created from how this person is showing up, like what they're thinking in their own mind, because we can feel that intention and also their word choice, because words have energy, too. So be really intentional about even the words that you're using, the words that you're saying to yourself, the words that you're saying to other people. There's so much to talk about when we talk about being retention, but it's really about thinking about, are you showing up in a way that is in alignment with who you want to be?
Are you proud of how you're showing up? That's one of my favorite questions to ask someone is what would make you proud of how you showed up? And even when people feel the fear, like, maybe they don't want to negotiate. Since we've been using this example, I would say, what would make you proud of how you showed up? Would it make you proud that you never even tried that you didn't even ask no. What would make you proud is that you at least asked worst case scenario, they say no, and you're in the same situation you are in now.
I just had a client where she took on this job and she was like, okay, they offered me the role, so I just send them back and say yes. And I was like, Well, aren't you going to negotiate and ask for something back? And she was like, I don't know, what would I even ask? And I helped her around the dollar amount. I always like to advise people to ask for ten grand more. And what happens is what I usually see happens is like, they do the little wiggle thing in between, and they end up minimum with five grand more.
I recently helped a client get 15 grand more and a 5000 stipend for personal development. It was all based on how we were doing it, and they were jumping up and down because they were sitting there ready to hit the button and say, I accept and that person just within five minutes of talking to me and I was talking about how they're going to be intentional with their words. And I'm telling you, it always goes back to their values. I never negotiate without talking about values.
And if you don't know your values, you're listening right now and you don't know your values. I highly recommend that you get some words to describe your values, and you can be as simple as like, if you Googled values assessment, there'll be tons of words that pop up and you don't even need to take, like, a quiz. It's just a matter of looking at words. Pick the words that resonate most with you. The definitions can be yours. What family means to me is going to be completely different to what it means to weigh right or you or anybody else.
So all that is important that you know what it means to you. And then pick your top five words for things that are really important to you. And see, like, am I living in alignment with these values? If I say it's a ten for me, am I acting like it's a ten for me? And if the answer is no, how can we move that up the way that you're showing up? How can we show up more in alignment with those values? When you start to do that, you will design a life that you're really proud of.
And that is the only way by knowing those values and shifting things in a way that honors those values.
Wow, this has been so awesome. There's so much to what we've gone over here, and so much of it is about as we discussed being retention. Being clear, you'd mentioned that there is a values assessment you have and we'll put that link in the show notes. So if you're listening to this, you can get them in the show notes. If you're watching this, you'll see it below. What would be your final thoughts to somebody who's just not certain if they could even do this? What's the first step?
How does somebody start? Is it the values assessment or is it that they just start thinking about what they'd most like to see happen to be different? Is it the wheel? How do you suggest somebody start if they're not certain?
Oh, that's a great question. So I don't think you can go wrong with starting with either or the values or the wheel, because even with the wheel, if you started with the wheel, you're going to see how things and don't be mean to yourself about it. Just look at it and say, scale of one to ten. How do I feel about this area of my life and if it's lower, that's okay, because that's an opportunity for you to shift in that area. But usually if it's lower, I'm telling you.
It is lower because there's some value of yours related to that area of your life that isn't being honored. So I would recommend actually to do them both because either way, they both relate to each other.
Awesome. Thank you so much.
Where can people find out about your work so you can find my work over at my podcast is called Intentional Mindpodcast. My website is intentionalmindpodcast. Com and then Instagram. I'm on there as angbarnard.
Awesome. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your insights. Your passion. There's so much I think people can take out of this and to be really clear, just to remind people, you don't necessarily have to get a coaching session with somebody to make changes. You can listen to what we talked about today. Applied. It's so much nicer. I can't talk to everybody in the planet any more than you can. So it's not cheating if you take these ideas and use them and apply them and make some more money, that's always awesome.
Thank you so much for coming out. I really appreciate your energy and to everybody in the audience as always, look forward to helping you help more people and make more money in less time. Do what you do best so you can better enjoy your family, your friends and your life. Thank you. You.
Angela Barnard
Communications Consultant & Trainer | Career Alignment Coach | Host of The Intentional Mind Podcast
Angela Barnard is a Career Alignment Coach who helps people transition into a career that is more in alignment with who they want to be and achieve their biggest goals by developing the mindset, habits and systems they need to make the progress they want to. She lives in a tiny house community in South Carolina and is the host of The Intentional Mind Podcast, a podcast all about intentionally designing your life using the power of your mind, faith and energy. When she isn't coaching or podcasting, you can find her doing communications consulting with the U.S. Army, hiking or traveling galore with her husband.


text:
/ Julie London
/ Blue Moon
Blue Moon (Remastered)
Preview Blue Moon (Remastered)
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Sanctuary (Remastered) (Remastered)
Bewitched (Remastered) (Remastered)
Body and Soul (Remastered) (Remastered)
Saddle the Wind (Remastered) (Remastered)
Basin Street Blues (Remastered) (Remastered)
My Strange Affair (Remastered) (Remastered)
What Is this Thing Called Love? (Remastered) (Remastered)
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© Muneta Producciones S.L.
Also by Julie London
Preview Feliz Navidad Y Próspero Año Nuevo De Julie London
Feliz Navidad Y Próspero Año Nuevo De Julie London Julie London 2021 From $12.99
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Preview Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Julie London
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In A Loving Mood Julie London 2021 From $12.99
Preview Christmas Album
Christmas Album Ella Fitzgerald 2014
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Rare Gems And Hidden Treasures Peggy Lee 2000
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Temptation Holly Cole 1995
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The Nancy Wilson Show Nancy Wilson 1965

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Q: Why Spring data jpa 'findByEntityId' queries with join operation? Let's say I have two entities.
@Entity
public class Foo {

    @Id (...)
    private Long id;

    @OneToOne(...)
    private Bar bar;

    // and other fields
}

@Entity
public class Bar {

    @Id(...)
    private Long id;

    // and other fields
}

When I create method FooRepository#findByBarId(Long barId) then the SQL created by Spring Data Jpa is like as belows
select ...
from foo
   left outer join bar where foo.id = bar.id
where bar.id = ?

I expected this to be described as below.
select ...
from foo
where foo.bar_id = ?

I know that this can be solved by fixing method into FooRepository#findByBar(Bar bar). But I wanna know the reason for this.

A: By nature of the method name you are asking hibernate to do a join. When it builds up the query from 'findByBarId' it does so from the fields in the entities, there is no BarId field in Entity Foo, but there is a Bar field which maps to the Bar entity.
So even though there is a bar_id column in the Foo table it will perform a join enabling access to the columns in the bar table. See it as get me Foo where Id in Bar is ?
This is the required behaviour as you may be doing a similar method call but using a name field in Bar where there is obviously no 'name' column in the Foo table. Get me Foo where Name in Bar is ?
findByBarName

A: This is because inside foo entity there is a one to one relationship.By default one to one support eager fetch/loading.that mean jpa construct query to fetch match entity as well as the entities has relations for that entity.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


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swap(rtree
          &)

Swaps contents of two rtrees.

            Description

            Parameters, translator and allocators are swapped as well.

            Synopsis

void swap(rtree & other)

            Parameter(s)

<colgroup>
<col>
<col>
<col>
</colgroup>

                      Type

                      Name

                      Description

                      rtree
                      &

                      other

                      The rtree which content will be swapped with this rtree content.

            Throws

            If allocators swap throws.

Copyright © 2009-2015 Barend Gehrels, Bruno Lalande,
      Mateusz Loskot, Adam Wulkiewicz, Oracle and/or its affiliates

        Distributed under the Boost Software License, Version 1.0. (See accompanying
        file LICENSE_1_0.txt or copy at http://www.boost.org/LICENSE_1_0.txt)

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Reality TV News: Kim K takes NY, The Situation moving to L.A & Teresa Guidice gets her own Spin Off?
What does Kim Kardashian, The Situation & 'Housewives' Teresa Guidice have in common? They're all moving up in the biz to bigger and better things.
Kim Kardashian has landed a new reality series titled "Kourtneyand Kim Take New York." Kim is currently in N.Y filming the new series which will premiere on E! in January and will feature the launch of their new 'Dash' store in Gotham.
Kim recently told Ryan Seacrest on his KISS FM radio show "I've never really been single...I tried to play that role, but I really wasn't single. And now, I'm really officially on my own, and I'm in a whole different city...Everyone is now trying to hook me up...Whatever happens, it's great to have a change of scenery, anyway. "I am so excited," she says. "This couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me to just get out of my life [in Miami and L.A.] and start anew."
Kim and Kourtney Kardashian
'Jersey Shore's' The Situation is planning to leave New Jersey behind and make his big move to L.A. He recently appeared on the "Lopez Tonight" show where he told George Lopez "definitely moving to L.A...I love it out here, I'm defintiely gonna move out to here."
It's been reported that Teresa Guidice from the "Real Housewives of New Jersey' may get her own spin off show. Accoring an insider "You can't come up with a better script than Teresa's life. She's a mother and wife going through financial troubles and having to start all over again. Everyone has been hit hard by this economy and watching Teresa and her family struggle through problems will make for great TV.
Teresa Guidice
What do you think about Kim and The Situations big move, and do you think Teresa should get her own show? Leave a comment.
Labels: Entertainment and Celebrities
kim looks good, situation needs to trim his armpits lol
kishyan 14:54
more teresa drama smh
LC 15:02
haha teresa broke ass needs the money
eeekkkee y r these ppl famous


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text:
Gründau (plaats), een plaats in de Duitse deelstaat Hessen
Gründau (rivier), een rivier door Main-Kinzig-Kreis (Hessen)

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Townsville has experienced some wild weather recently, with heavy rains and storms. As we keep an eye on potential cyclones forming off the coast, it's a good time to review your preparedness for any significant weather events.
Make sure that you have a disaster management plan - understand the risks at your properties and what actions need to be taken should damage occur. This includes the financial consequences of damage to your properties. Check on your property insurance to understand exactly what is covered. It's also a good idea to have some money put aside for any out-of-pocket repairs that may be required.
Townsville Rentals has a Crisis Management Plan in place and in the event of a cyclone, your Property Manager will work with you to provide property inspections and keep you updated on any damage that has occurred.
You can find out more about being cyclone ready here.


text:
FFBC: Welcome to the club, Very in Pieces by Megan Frazer Blakemore
Very in Pieces
by Megan Frazer Blakemore
Release Date: September 29th 2015
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction
Very Sales-Woodruff is done being a good girl. Done being the only responsible one in a family that's unraveling. Done being the obliging girlfriend in a relationship that's sinking. Done saying no to what she wants—like Dominic, her rebellious classmate.
With her mom's drinking, her dad's extended absences from home, and her younger sister, Ramona, running wild, the path Very has always seen for herself doesn't seem to matter anymore. At the same time, Very's grandmother, a poet known less for her work and more for her exploits with the likes of Andy Warhol and Arthur Miller, is slipping away.
If everything else can fall to pieces, why can't she?
Impossible!
Current: The Walking Dead Of all time: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, and Homicide: Life on the Street
This is almost as hard as picking a favorite book.
"American Girl" by Tom Petty
Stars Hollow
From Gilmore Girls, the Shire from The Lord of the Rings books, and Professor Digory Kirke's house (in the room with the wardrobe that leads to Narnia, of course).
Wes from The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen.
Everything Rebecca Stead writes. And Rainbow Rowell. I would totally fangirl her, which would be very fitting, and also something she is probably used to.
Virginia Woolf.
I'm so excited to be joining this lively group of readers!
Hello Megan! We are super excited to have you in our FFBC tours.
Sure. Very in Pieces is about Veronica Sayles-Woodruff who has always just done what people expect of her. She's followed the rules and has taken care of her eccentric family. But then her grandmother gets sick, and begins telling Very the story of how she reinvented herself from a rural girl to a sophisticated and famous poet. Very starts to wonder if she, too, can re-write her own story. All the while her younger sister, Ramona, is growing more and more distant. While Very's trying to deal with all of this, Dominic, her town's version of a rough kid, takes an interest in her. Being with Dominic would certainly be one way to change her story, but is she ready to take that step?
Very is solid. Her family and friends count on her, and she likes that, but it's a lot of pressure. She also has a dry sense of humor, which was fun to write.
What's like for the main character that everything she knows is changing and that she's done been the good and responsible girl?
It's really confusing! Because she's had a lot of success being good and responsible. People like her. She does well in school. But at the same time, she can't help but wonder if she's missing out on something.
Part of Very's problem is that she wants an answer right away and she's sort of an all or nothing type of person. If someone was feeling as uncertain about life as Very does, I would tell her to just step back and give herself time to process everything.
My favorite quote is the last paragraph of the book. I had the image in my mind pretty much from the start of writing the book. Here's how the paragraph begins: "The sun slices through the clouds, just a thin line and just for a moment, but for that time, we are illuminated. Hand in hand as the water laps against us."
The scenes with Grace and Britta, Very's best friends, were a lot of fun to write because they have a long history and an easy, joking way of talking with one another. Later, when things start getting tense between them – those scenes were a lot harder.
I think it would have to be the song that Very is named for: "Veronica" by Elvis Costello.
I think Hailee Steinfeld would make a great Very. At first I was thinking of Connie Britton to play her mom, but I think Christina Hendricks would actually do an amazing job. And as for Dominic, that was really hard, but I finally settled on Tye Sheridan. He was in the movie Mud with Matthew McConaughey, and I thought he was terrific.
Very's mom spends a lot of time on the couch or in the hammock outside. I think a hammock would be a great place to read Very in Pieces.
I have a middle grade coming out in May called The Firefly Code. It's a sci fi set in a Utopia. I'm also working on a new YA that I'm really excited about.
Thank you so much for everything, Megan!
Follow the Very In Pieces by Megan Frazer Blakemore Blog Tour and don't miss anything! Click on the banner to see the tour schedule.
Megan Frazer Blakemore is an author for children and young adults. She lives with her husband and children in Maine. She has worked in both school and public libraries, and is currently pursuing a doctorate in library science at Simmons SLIS.
2 winners will receive a signed copy of Very In Pieces and a signed copy of Secrets of Truth and Beauty by Megan Frazer Blakemore (US Only)
1 winner will receive a signed copy of Very In Pieces and a signed copy of Secrets of Truth and Beauty by Megan Frazer Blakemore (INT)
Etiquetas: blakemore, contemporary, dream cast, fantastic flying book club, FFBC, frazer, giveaway, HarperTeen, in, interview, megan, pieces, playlist, realistic fiction, teaser, very, young adult


text:
Droga wojewódzka nr 806 (DW806) – droga wojewódzka klasy Z łącząca Łuków z Międzyrzecem Podlaskim. Jej długość wynosi ok. 27,7 km.

Historia numeracji
Obecne oznaczenie droga otrzymała w grudniu 1985 roku. Nieznane są wcześniejsze oznaczenia – na wydawanych ówcześnie przez Państwowe Przedsiębiorstwo Wydawnictw Kartograficznych mapach i atlasach drogowych trasa umieszczana była jako droga drugorzędna, bez podawania numeracji. W latach 1985 – 1999 arteria posiadała kategorię drogi krajowej, zaś do 2000 roku trasa biegła do Stoczka Łukowskiego. W 2000 roku odcinek Łuków – Stoczek Łukowski wraz z ówczesną drogą nr 803 Stoczek Łukowski – Wilga został przemianowany na drogę krajową nr 76.

Dopuszczalny nacisk na oś
Na całej długości drogi dopuszczalny jest ruch pojazdów o nacisku pojedynczej osi do 8 ton.

Miejscowości leżące przy trasie DW806
 Łuków (DK63)
 Trzebieszów
 Międzyrzec Podlaski (DK19)

Zobacz też
 Droga wojewódzka

Przypisy

806