The Upbeat Dad!: Should You Relocate After Divorce When Kids Are Involved?
I recently wrote Post-Divorce Parenting: Visitation vs Time-Sharing. In that post, I shared how in my state – Florida – the family law rules have changed recently and one of the significant changes is that the term visitation is no longer used; instead, it's now time-sharing. The implications of this are huge, in my view. The Florida courts now promote the idea that kids have two homes in which they live – no longer living primarily with one parent and visiting the other every other weekend. The big winners in this ruling are the kids, as far as I'm concerned.
As I thought about this ruling, what came to mind was the fact that after divorce, when individuals are free to go on and live the rest of their lives, many parents make major decisions with the kids in mind. While others make those decisions with what's best for them or their careers in mind. Yet others start new families and think more about that new family and less about the kids from their former relationship. So I thought that today I'd write about the relocating after a divorce when kids are involved.
Most couples, as they enter relationships, are on cloud nine, as the expression goes. They imagine a fairy-tale life of happiness. Then comes reality; when the honeymoon is over and life becomes life, it's a big wake-up call for many. Still, they settle down and have kids and try to make the best of life, despite the fact that they've realized that the person who they married is not quite as perfect as the person that they dated.
Many couples make it through this phase and go on to live happily ever after. Sometimes they make it but only after going to counseling where they get professional help to straighten things out. But many couples do not make it – and that's just the reality of the situation. Despite their best efforts, many of these relationships end in divorce.
I always say that when marriages and other relationships end, when there are no kids involved, no matter how bitter or nasty the process may get, when it's over, it's over and then the healing begins. There's nothing further from the marriage to deal with. When there are kids, however, there is a lifetime connection that never goes away. As long as the parents and the children are alive, they all have to deal with each other, to some degree.
Some couples, during their divorce proceedings, work together to ensure that, despite the ending of the relationship, they both remain actively involved in the day to day lives of the children. So they agree to live in the same vicinity – whether in a formally written agreement or just by a verbal understanding. Others have no such understanding or agreement but still they end up living in the same area because they choose to.
Then there are those who believe that, when the marriage has ended and they get on with their lives, they are free to pursue their goals and dreams without consideration to their former spouse. I'd like to address these individuals with this post. Please note that when I write about subject matters that may be a bit sensitive, as this one is, I'm not really saying what individuals should or shouldn't do. My primary objective is to get others to see the potential impact on the children when these decisions are made.
So the question at hand is: Do you relocate after a divorce when kids are involved? My thought is that, it's not a yes or no question. There are so many factors to consider.
The first issue to consider is why one would want to relocate. Some people have such a bitter divorce that they want to get as far away from their former spouse as possible. Others just want to start over fresh and new in an area where no one knows them or their family. That way, they don't routinely run into their former spouse or other people who know them. Those meetings can potentially reopen wounds that are supposed to be healing.
Then others want to move back to the community where they grew up because they know of the unconditional love and support that they are shown there. Each of these reasons is certainly understandable. I know, having gone through a divorce, just how meaningful it is to be surrounded with love when you're going through such a difficult period.
Still, when there are kids involved, each of these choices needs to be looked into a bit further. I believe that kids need the love and support of both parents. Note that I didn't just say that kids need both parents. This is because some parents are just not the loving and supportive type; their kids might be better off without them. But when parents lovingly support their kids, I believe that they ought to be involved in their lives.
One of the significant factors to consider when thinking about relocation is the age of the kids. For instance, if the kids are 2 or 3 years old, one's thought process might be different than if the kids are 15 or 16. A young child who's just growing and developing a bond with the parents might lose that bond if one parent moves away.
I have a college friend who divorced. Not long after the divorce, his former wife wanted to relocate to a different city within the same state. They had a 2 year old child. He fought successfully to prevent her from moving because his point was that the bond with his young child may be broken. A year or so after the divorce, he got the opportunity of a lifetime – a high paying executive position in his home country, halfway around the world. I don't know how long he deliberated but he ended up taking that position. So now, instead of seeing his child multiple times each week, he sees her once or twice a year.
The other extreme is when divorced parents make the decision to live close together so that the divorce won't be too disruptive for the kids. I have a friend who went through a divorce a few years ago. He and his former wife have 2 teenagers. One of the children has autism and requires special care. Both parents agreed to live in the same community so that together they could provide their child the special care that's needed.
A very significant factor in making such a decision is whether the kids would be relocating with us or not. It's one thing to move with the kids and have them with us all the time; but it's a totally different consideration when we move without the kids, knowing that we'll see them less frequently. And when we move with the kids, we also need to consider how that might affect the kids' relationship with the other parent, knowing that they'll see him/her less frequently.
So you see, it's really not a yes or no answer when we think about whether or not to relocate. Life is really all about choices. And the choices that we make affect not only ourselves but others. I don't think that we can simply say people should not relocate after a divorce when there are kids involved. There's just too much to consider. In my view, however, kids should be considered above our own personal wishes and desires.
I'd love to hear your thoughts if you've been affected in any way by the relocation issue after a divorce. I know that for some of you, reading this post has touched you deep within as you consider your own life and the decisions that you've made or that others have made.
I always try to get parents to think of the kids first. In the ideal world, we get married and live happily ever after. But that utopia doesn't exist for everyone. I just encourage you to think of the kids in the decisions you make. You can relocate and be as close as ever to your kids. Or the same move could cause you to lose the essential connection with them.
If your kids are in a different city today, for any reason, give them a special phone call to let them know you love them.
I was brought here by a link on ProActiveDads, and would like to say your current post touches me and my situation directly.
I am about to go through a divorce, and have a young son. Prior to the proceedings, I had returned to my home country to visit with my family and plan the next steps of separation. It soon became apparent that if I remained out of the country I would see my son only twice a year at best. Leaving the love and compassion of my family behind was one of the harder things I have ever had to do, but knowing that I was doing it to provide my son with regular access to his father was the one guiding precept that sustained me.
Life here in the Midwest has been anything but easy since my return: little work, infrequent access to my son and the ever-present emotional strain that the separation caused have all contributed to a bleak outlook.
Thankfully, good friends and the information gleaned from sites such as yours have helped me in my path, and now I am actively moving through the divorce process with a more positive attitude. I have applied and been accepted to study at two (possibly three) local Universities, and have chosen the closest one to my sons' residence so that seeing him regularly can be a reality, rather than a dream. This University is overshadowed by a much better program in the same state, but the choice was clear.. be far away and enrolled in a great program, or be enrolled in a good program and within an hours' drive of my son.
I pray every day that these actions send a clear message to those who will have control over how and when I see him. I love my son, and try to call him every day, sometimes with success, mostly only reaching a voicemail. I would encourage all fathers in similar situations to consider their children first before making any decision to move far away. Your child needs you, no matter what the opponents may try to say.
Thank you for posting this question and giving me an opportunity to add my story to your site.
This question has been on my mind since my husband and I separated. I am a 4th year graduate student and had been planning on applying for postdoctoral positions all over the country this year. This is the way academia works. But now, I feel paralyzed. How can I do this and not disrupt the relationship that my children have with their father? Would I even be allowed to do so? If I don't, what will happen to my career?
You ask a very good question: How can I do this and not disrupt the relationship that my children have with their father?
No matter what happens, the kids would be affected in some way. But still, life goes on. How can you do what's best for them while doing what's best for you? It's not easy.
I think you do what best you can to work with your ex to figure the best scenario and hopefully the impact on the kids would be minimal. Easier said than done I know but its an ideal to aim for.
So your friend stopped the mom from moving on and then up and moved himself away from the child a short time later, with no compunctions. I see this so frequently. That man is a hypocrite and typical of the entitled and controlling attitude that men have towards the women who aren't picking their socks up anymore and the babies they "get" from them.
Great advice. Once again it feels good to know that I am on the right track in choosing to stay around after I am divorced primarily for my kids. They are my pride and joy.
so your friend kept his ex from moving for HER dream, but when it came to HIS dream, that was okay. this is my experience; men take action in court to secure THEIR rights, not the rights of their children. my ex is a HORRIBLE man. an abusive father. a liar, thief, etc. but the court still awarded him 20% custody. he has admitted to throwing them across the room, screaming at them, pushing them, slapping them across the face, etc. the court still thinks time with him is "important". my 12 year old has 2 therapists, because her "father" is the most abusive towards her. children do not NEED both parents. children need love and support. they need people who will be patient and appreciate them. people who will honor them.
and when it comes to who's time it is; its not dads weekend, or moms weekend; its the KIDS weekend. we aren't dividing a set of china. children have feelings and fears and needs. it is not good for children to move from house to house. one parent should act as the primary home and the other parent visits as it fits into the schedule of the primary parent and the children. the only "rights" anyone should be concerned are those of the children.
btw, in our custody evaluation my ex was found to be a bi-sexual, transvestite, narcissist w/ a borderline personality disorder. i knew none of that when i married him. but the court thought none of that mattered. his being a liar and living a secret life; totally okay.
I would caution against claiming that men are the problem. My son's mother has been found to have narcissistic and borderline personality disorder. She was just found in contempt of court for lying to the court and stealing $9k in money, yet the court refuses to do anything to help my son. She is the primary parent because she is the mother. The bias against fathers is horrendous in this society. My son is being abused by his mother, used as a weapon and treated horribly. After years of trying to be an active father, I am at a point of giving up. Neither his mother nor the courts seem to care about him or allowing a relationship between me and him. I feel like moving away and maybe saving him from being put in the middle all the time. If the courts will not stop the abuse, what is a father supposed to do?
It helps a lot to read this post. Although I have family in the state where I currently live, I feel a stronger connection to another state where I have friends of 20 years and where I spent my early career years. They've been suggesting that I move back there, and I'm pretty sure the job prospects are stronger.
The issue is that ironically, I don't want to move my child away from his father. It's not that I hold the father in high regard, far from it. It's that I know my child really needs his dad. During the separation period, I've allowed my child to go on out of state trips with his dad to see grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins -- a 14-hour car trip. It's really hard for me to do this, but I know the connection with his paternal side is equally important. I had it as a kid, because my parents did not divorce. Why should I deprive my child of it?
But I always return to this issue of feeling more secure with a better job and being surrounded by the people who love me most. In this case, those people are friends, not family. I guess I'm an anomaly that way.
I suppose the answer for now, given our state of upheaval and wanting to keep things even for the child, is to stay put. I'm sure I can find a better job locally if I work long enough at it. And I'll work at strengthening my relationships in the local community. Maybe someday when I feel the time is right, I'll look into that move. For now, I just don't think it's good for the kiddo.
Thanks for this post, because I've really been wrestling with the idea, but this helped me to sit down and crystallize it.
Ultimately, provided that the children will still be able to enjoy a meaningful relationship with both parents, then relocating following a divorce is fine.
Divorced parents need to put their children's welfare first whenever they make a decision. It's that simple.
Peace with the Ex. Realistic planning. Compassion. The children are already living a compromised life that we are all working hard to overcome. A relocation is just another complication. Where there is a will there is a way.
It's not about selfishness or selflessness. It's about love, and how you show it. And part of that is how you treat yourself and your dreams and your goals. Without those, you don't have much to offer your children.
A question.....My ex and I have been divorced going on 4 years. We have two teenagers,a 9 and 5 year old. We have both remarried and he has taken on her two children who are under the age of 4. My new husband and I have the chance to move for a new job out of state, which would also allow us to be closer to his mother who is elderly and ill. What do you think the courts would say if he tries to prevent the move based soley on the basis of not seeing them every other week? And can he move where ever we do?
That's a tough one. I'm not sure just how the courts would see it. Each state operates differently. Some push for 50/50 sharing of time between dad and mom while others think mom should be primary custodial parent.
Even so, relocation is one of those things that the courts can be firm on, particularly in your case - where you would be moving with the kids. I would think that if your ex objects, the courts would give greater consideration to your children's proximity to their dad than the proximity of your new husband to his mom.
If you do move and your ex decides to move to the same city, there's nothing I can think of that would prevent him from doing so.
Hope this helps. Remember, through all of this, it's the kids' best interest that should be priority.
It seems that in many cases the father is only partially involved with raising the child. Perhaps that's just how he wants it. It's pretty convenient for him to have his Ex around to take care of the kids 85% of the time and then see them for part of the weekend. What about those situations? The mother is stuck living near the father but wants to move on with her life. She takes care of the kids most of the time anyway and is simply enabling the father to be a part-time father at best. She is being held hostage to his lack of responsibility as a parent and it really seems unfair. In these cases, what difference does it make if the kids see their father for a couple months of the year over summer vacation and on other holidays? It might actually force the father to be an parent for a change instead of a buddy the kids see on Saturday night.
I find this really offensive, when I was younger I spent the weekends at my Dad's and weeknights at my Mom's. Dad has always been more involved, I wanted to play school sport, Mom wasn't interested so Dad pick me up after school, took me to training, and dropped me off at home. Dad always spent time with us playing board-games or reading or cooking or whatever, Mom would just plonk us in front of the TV while she slept off her hangover. Just because the courts ruled we should spend more time with Mom (pretty much just because of this archaic idea that mothers are better parents) does NOT mean he was dodging his responsibilities, if anything he was MORE of a parent!
I am a father going through a divorce and have two children: a four year old that I am extremely close with and a newborn. Eight days after my daughter's birth, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. We have always had issues and we have made mistakes in our marriage that ultimately led to this. One of the biggest issues is that I have had a fantastic opportunity to work for the military in a specialized role. I am a veteran and have wanted to return to the military for many years. This has always been a source of tension between us. Now that we are divorcing, I want to finish my military career, but feel it may ruin my relationship with my children because they will hardly ever see me. So, I have forced myself to take a career position very near them geographically instead. The downside is that while I'm close to my children, I am miserable professionally because I know what I want to do with my life, but feel I would be failing my children if I go do it. It's a conundrum for sure. I'm miserable professionally, but close to my kids. If I take my dream career, I'll miss them terribly and they won't have a very close relationship with me, I fear. I don't know what to do. I want to do what's best for my kids, but I don't want to go through the rest of my life resenting the fact that I knew what I wanted out of my life, but couldn't go do it. Many people don't get this about the military. It's a calling for some people, just like becoming a priest, cop, minister, or missionary. It is your life and personality... not just a job. By not going, I'm miserable because it feels like I'm denying myself from BEING myself! Your thoughts negative or positive would be appreciated.
It sounds like you're going to be miserable either way. It's a no-win situation for you. Therefore, I'd choose the option that at least allows your children to be happy by having you present in their life.
A few years ago I divorced from my daughter's father when she was only two years old. He, til this day, she is now 6 blames me for her not bonding with her. Now, we live only 2.5 hours away. Before we got married, he knew I was planning to move to this city because of my family. I married with the idea he was ok with us to move to my hometown. When we divorced, the hardest part was realizing how much emotional damaged he had done thoughout our marriage and even during the divorce, including not wanting to see his daughter for 6 weeks. Now, what I have told him, what is his excuse for not moving to be near his daughter if he felt our move affected his bond? Parents move ... people move. I was awarded the decision to be able to take the child and move where I saw fit in the court. Now, the reason I moved was because I needed family support since I had no one in the city we lived in. After so many attempts to fix the marriage, including therapy, I did think in the best interest of my child. So it is not all black and white. My point is...it is not so much about the initial move with the child, but if the other parent really cares, why does that parent not move to be closer to their child? Like my ex, he can keep playing the victim and say I am the one ruining the bond, but the reality is that he can move as well. Not all the blame has to fall on the parent having the child. IF it were me, and I would not have custody of my child, and my ex moved, I would be packing that same day and figuring out how to work and live where ever my child was living. So in my perspective this article does not address a big part of ... hey...other parent...don't play the victim...go after your child if you really love them and stop blaming and complaining.
My wife moved to her hometown 600 miles from where we lived and the only hometown the kids knew. She said she wanted to be closer to her family. My kids are 17, 15 and 12. I followed her, giving up a good job, to be close to the kids. She allowed me to move in with her until I found work and moved out. She was so incredibly mean to me that I had to move back before I could find a home. I moved back with my dad and was out of work for a year (yes, there was no work at even Home Depot or Walmart). The kids loved there schools, Church and friends. They did not want to leave. The only reason I moved was to rebuild our family as she said she would work on it. I know realize she just wanted to stall me until she reached the 6 month residency requirement so she could file there and not in our home state. After a year, the kids have friends and are not sure they want to come back. I think they will but I am not sure if I should proceed with a custody fight or move closer to them. I could work to make a good place for them to come back to when they decide (I think they will) and to visit friends and family, or move there until the youngest graduates. I would have to find work there and a place which would take time, I am working here though.
Interesting article. New to the site, but I think I'll register and stick around as an upbeat dad!
Well we are in the process of divorcing (she wants to I don't) and my soon-to-be-ex expects me to stay in the European town in which have lived for the past 10 years. Whilst is is a FANTASTIC place to raise our 2 boys of 5 and 8, its not such a great place for a single man in my position. This is her country and not mine and cities are simply better for foreigners to get on. So in due course I plan to move to a bigger city 20 minutes away (where I work) to start a new life. . I'd like us to co-parent (this is the legal default) and she needs to if she wants to continue to work part-time. This arrangement means more complexity with getting the kids to school, which I currently do 2-3 times a week now before I go to work and pick them up at least twice a week too. We should be able to continue but it'll mean more time travelling. This is already quite a juggling act when combined with current job responsibilities. I plan to work less in 2013 (change in legal contract) to make co-parenting easier by working a 4 day week. This is continental Europe and my boss is okay with this change.
So this arrangement is manageable I think. Not ideal but manageable. Is this move reasonable on my part given the circumstances? I love my kids and I have a right to a new life too!
I have a 12 and an 8 year old and was the primary supporter of the family until I got laid off last Spring and have been unable to find a job. I live in a rural area with not many friends or job prospects and want to have a fresh start by being closer to my family, including my aging mother. I have many family and friends in CT and more job prospects and opportunities being closer to NY. I also am not thrilled about our high school and the sports limitations for my son there. My husband has a very weak job history (often taking winters off), few contacts in the area and I have suggested to him that I don't want to move away from him, I want us to move together and figure out a plan. Think we all could use a new fresh start (a lot of baggage living in rural community where everyone knows your history). My 8 year old loves her school and friends, and my son wants me to move into the next community that is richer, better schools, and he has lots of friends there. It would still be far away from my family and jobs so doesn't solve the problem. I worry if I force everyone to move, the kids will hate me. They are popular, outgoing athletic kids and think they are pretty flexible. Hard to know what to do.
I have 3 kids and I am in the process of deciding whether to move back closer to my friends and family where I have support. As well as getting divorced I am starting a new career after being a professional athlete for 20 years.I feel I made many sacrifices in my marriage and find myself having difficulty deciding what my next step should be. It is difficult because I might not see my children in the beginning stages and I don't want my children to suffer. Being somewhere where you feel isolated during such changes isn't optimal for them as well.My goal is to live in both places eventually, the need to prioritize my goals in order to make this possible will determine my next step. Would love some comments!!!
My wife and I are divorced now and I am thinking about moving to a part of the state where I have family instead of staying where she has family, a place I never would have moved to unless it involved my wife and her family. We have discussed me moving with my son to another area of the state, about 5 hours or so drive away, and he would attend school there 4 days a weeks and be able to be with his mother the other three days where she lives. He cried at first but then thought it would be pretty cool to do this. He and I have a special bond, I might even say a stronger bond than he has with his mom because she doesn't really spend much time with him even when they are together. What to do? Move to where I have family and get a new start, get out of this small area where everyone knows everyone? Or, stay here and have all the time in the world with my son but have to deal with my ex more often and her friends and family. Our son is 12 and will be starting middle school next year so the move to another school isn't as bad as moving in the middle of a grade or school year. What do you think? Anyone who has an opinion is welcome, please be respectful. Thanks.
My ex and I have 50/50 custody of our boys 12, 9, and 8. I am thinking about relocating to another state some 24 hrs away. I want to do this for work. My ex says it is abandonment if I leave. I would still be able to see the kids just that they would have to fly out in the summer and back at the end of summer. I really see nothing wrong with this, except that the 12 yo wants to live with me and mom is holding onto him tightly. She seems to think that it is wrong to break up the kids. I am not so sure it would impact them that much. The other two would have more mom time and vice versa. I am confused and really unsure as to what to do. My family lives in the other state and here I have no one other than my children. I live as far away from her as I can right now. She still broods a fair amount of anger towards me and lets the boys know it. Just lost I guess.
I too live in a city in Canada very far from where my family and close friends live and where I grew up (other side of the country). I would never have chosen to live here but this is where my wife is from and she definitely will not move. We have a 4 year-old daughter and now we are getting a divorce (somewhat mutual I suppose although I wanted to keep working on it). I have only a few friends here and only see my family once a year. I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that I'll be living here for the next 15 years at least for my daughter's sake. I love my daughter more than anything but at the same time it really hurts to think of what I'm giving up. My parents are getting older and I'm losing the connection to my home. But what else can I really do?
Good to see a lot of people facing the same challenges. Moved to the midwest because the exwife wanted to be by her family with our young children. We soon divorced and I have no one here, feeling isolated, miss my family, friends and support on the west coast. My relationship with the ex is not healthy, we still cannot communicate after 3 years a part. She says I'd be abandoning my kids if I move, yet she does little to make anything easy for any of us. Shes a very irresponsible person that does little to improve or take care of herself, but continues to grind me for more child support and extra monies for everything. I love my kids, but I feel unhealthy in this situation. I struggle with the thought of moving away from my kids, but I feel trapped in a miserable life, which isn't good for my kids either.
I'm British and lived in Spain with my British ex and three children. When I got separated from my ex, I moved back to Britain for the support of my family and old friends and - critically - because I could not find any employment in Spain that would actually cover both my maintenance and my living costs. Now I have a good job back in Britain (which at least means the children benefit from a good amount of maintenance), but don't see them nearly as often as I like because of the limited annual leave I get - to spend a weekend out in Spain with them can take up to 4 days of leave (Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday) in the winter months because of limited flights to the region of Spain where they live. They stay with me for half of each of the three school holidays (Christmas, Easter, Summer) which is lovely, but I find the long gaps in-between very hard. I try to speak to them on the phone frequently, but they have a lot going on (out with friends/sports activities/playing in the garden or park etc) that I don't get hold of them often as I like. It is hard! I record video messages to them on DVD sometimes and send them out, which I know they appreciate, but I long for a job with enough money and flexible leave that I can get out see them more often between the holidays.
Im in the exact same situation. Only my ex left the UK and moved to Spain after me trying to block the move in court for 3 years.
I snapped packed and left my emotionally abusive husband.I took the kids 6 and 10 8 hours away to another state where my family is .I need their support through this difficult time plus it would be much easier and cheaper to bring up my kids here .i would never be able to survive on the east coast where my ex lives.but my ex loves the kids a lot and is devastated and my older one can't stop crying coz will miss dada and old school.Im considering moving back but I'm scared to do that bcoz life is more expensive and I will not have the great support my family would give me and the kids.i don't want to fall under my ex control again when he would know that he would be the only one around to help me.But I still want my kids to enjoy his frequent company ??
I live in the same town as my son right now and drive 45 minutes to work each day. He stays with his mom and I see him on Wednesdays and every other weekend. I could move across the street from work and still see him on Wednesdays and every other weekend but I'm not sure how he will feel about me moving 45 minutes away instead of being 10 minutes from him.
The points raised in the article are valid ones. I believe that contact with the children often becomes a problem after divorce, particularly when the divorce is an acrimonious one. I have read that men often view 'wife and children' as a kind of package deal, and find it hard to disentangle their relationship with their children from their failed relationship with their former spouse. My own experiences tend to highlight this. As a noncustodial father, after several years of bitter legal fighting, now that the divorce is over, I personally am tempted to relocate far away. This may seem selfish, but it is intensely painful to be relegated to seeing your child every two weeks, and have most of your parental influence removed by the court. Seeing the child merely opens old wounds and every parting is painful. It is actually easier to just not see the child and then the memories become hazy and they become an abstraction, not a constant, painful reminder of what you lost. When I go a period of time without seeing my child, the price I pay is in the dreams I have when I sleep, and a constant doubt and guilt. However when I see the child, there is the pain of doing it, the stress of the arguments with the ex and the misery of the parting and the realisation that you are no longer really an important part of your child's life. It is a hard thing to bear.
There are multiple articles on the web of course about the so-called 'dead-beat dads'. The implication is that anyone who doesn't see his kids every week and remains fully integrated in their lives, is somehow a failure. I do not agree with this viewpoint because very often, as in my case, the mother does not encourage the relationship or even, actively tries to prevent it. I now understand why emotionally and financially drained, battle-weary dads just decide to walk away. It is very tempting to start a new life and never, ever be forced to speak to the ex again. The arguments become too tiring. Dads who do so, in such a situation, whilst continuing to honor their financial obligations, I feel are doing so out of a desire to move on with their lives when they are helpless to see any other path that will allow them peace. If relocation is a part of that moving on, either through opportunity or choice, then its for the individual to decide what makes them happy. There are no points in life for spending a miserable fifteen years of your life, being where you don't want to be, if you feel you will be happier elsewhere. Fathers who have been forced by the legal system into being merely 'income providers' already lost the majority of their parenting time and the bulk of their bond with their children. Coming to this realisation is not an easy or quick process. For me, at least, it has happened in stages. The first stage was when my ex took the child and moved away. You spend a while trying to adjust to this. Then when the legal process starts, the lies and the wrangling and (in my case) my ex's unsuccessful attempts to get 'orders of protection' and 'full custody', the bitterness increases and the contact decreases. Whilst the fighting goes on, its natural to fight back, and indeed anger gives you energy. However, once the dust settles and the fighting is over, for me at least, it has become increasingly difficult to continue to make the effort. I just feel tired of fighting - so, for me, if I was offered a chance to relocate anywhere on the planet, I would certainly consider it. It comes down to personal choice - but I don't believe it any more noble to stay than I consider it a bad thing to go, however society does not widely support this viewpoint.
I am a mother of two wonderful kids, ages 2 and 7. I have lived in the US for 12 years to be with my American husband. To be honest, I have never enjoyed living here, I feel isolated, lonely and have missed my friends and family for years. My husband is well-aware of this, yet he has never made any effort to move. I have batted depression and feel that I need to be a happy person in order to make my kids happy. This has been one of the main reasons for our separation. He knows that I have been wanting to move for years and that I have been unhappy yet he has chosen to not help me.
It's been over a year since we separated and I am still unsure what to do. I am from Sweden and want nothing more than to move back. I will be able to get government assistance, get my master's degree, and raise my children in what I consider to be a much safer and better place to raise them than America. I just don't see how I can afford living in America as a single mom with a child in daycare and one in aftercare, even with his financial help and with my ok income. I also want to be where I have family and a support system. Even after so many years in America, I feel that I have no one. I truly feel trapped and don't know what to do.
My husband says he is ok with me moving back to Sweden, but I fear what it will do to him and the kids. How can I make the decision for them to grow up without their father in their life other than on summer holidays just for my own happiness? Am I being selfish, or should I pursue my own dreams?
Amazing how your case just likes mine. I married an American woman, and after few years came to US to live here for 4 years, but realized my ex does not want to go back to my country. I am here already 11 years most of the time never enjoyed living here, far away from family, friends, and supportive environment. I am a father for 3 amazing kids, love them so much. I got divorce 3 years ago, but what do you do with the fact that i am in the US for almost 11 years, feeling lonely now, especially after the divorce, but want to go back home?! I mean, do i really need to spend now all my life (at least for the next 14 years - until my little one will be 18) far away from home, and family? Find a new woman where i live, seem to be hard and challenging. I Never missed any child support payment, pay by myself tuition for all kids, health insurance. etc., etc. it is a no win situation either way. But sometimes in life you have to make a very hard decisions, so after many years when you look back, you know you did the right think for your kids' sake, but also some for yourself. I will be happy to hear from you more about your situation, and what are your plans? Did u decide already, or you still don't know what to do? Does your ex-husband agree for you to take the kids to Sweden? One thing for you - Don't let any depression or hard times to break you!! Eventually you will be out of it and find a new life. Your happiness is not less important than your kid's happiness. I will be glad to hear back from you.
I am a recently separated father of 2 girls one 5 and the younger one 2. My ex has found a new partner who lives 400km away and wants to move there with our two daughters to be with him. She can find a similar job there to the one she has now. We are currently working this out between ourselves instead of going to court where we are unable to pay for the lawyers. We currently jointly share our children one week with the mother the other week with me. If this moves takes place I will only be able to have my daughters every second weekend and at vacation times. As a father I am worried that the bond I have with both girls will fade with time, does anyone have any suggestions how to keep our bond strong if the move does take place?
If you are already sharing custody, why is it a given that the children have to relocate with your ex? In other words, why can't *she* be the one who is with them every second weekend and on vacations? Or why can't her new partner move 400km to where you are?
Those questions are a little rhetorical (and bitter), but you might want to ask them anyway.
If she does end up moving away with your daughters, if you make efforts you will always have a strong bond with your daughters. In addition to your regular visits, skyping with them every few days may seem kind of lame, but I find it works very well.
I have a 12 year old son and I have not been with his mother since he was one years old. I have recently fought tooth and nail to have shared custody and things are going great. However, I have been re-married for 2 years and eventhough my wife loves my son, she misses her country. I miss her country as well, since I lived there for a year when we first met. I have so much more opportunity there and she wants to start a family, but only there. his is due to the free health care and better child services that the country provides.She is miserable living here and it is hurting our relationship. All in all moving back to her home country would be an unbelievable thing for us. But what about my 12 year old son. I think that he needs me now more than ever. I am thinking that we should stay here for 2 more years until he goes to Highschool. At that time we will have a strong relationship and he is olde enough to visit me in the summers and I can come to the states in the winters. What are your thoughts?
I am a divorced Father of an eleven year old son and a seven year old daughter. I moved from where we lived when my son was three months old in order for my wife to reunite with her side of the family which she really did not know because she was a product of a divorce. Now all these years later we are divorced and where I reside is twenty minutes from my kids. I see them one or two nights a week, every other weekend and extra days during vacations, special events and holidays. I have been contemplating a move to another state for work and a change in life . I worry about the effect in not being available as much to my children. I know there is the phone, Skype, etc. for everyday communication, yet I know if I make this move it will not be the same. However, I also know that if I make this change it would be better for me personally- meaning I would be happier, therefore a happier Father in general. This is really difficult and tormenting. I have approached the subject with my son in an abstract way ( I may move to someplace warmer someday- do not like cold weather.).
hi - i have 2 daughters aged 10 and 12 and have been very close with them since our divorce 6-7 years ago. They have lived with me 3 days a week since we divorced and our relationship is better than ever (children).
I live 5 miles from their mother so there is no issue about travel or anything however i recently met someone , fell in love and after 2 years with her, considering moving in with her 30 miles away. My kids love her but MY big issue is that i will no longer have sleepovers with my daughters except for alternate weekends , currently they sleep over7-8 days a month during the week and these will become 'visits' if i move in with my girlfriend.
Aww, this was a great read until the spam kicked in.


text:
Men sentenced over unprovoked attack in Shoreditch bar
Published: 12:55 AM March 21, 2013 Updated: 10:34 AM October 14, 2020
James O'Docherty - Credit: Archant
Two men have been sentenced to a total of 10 years detention after they launched an unprovoked attack in a bar.
Zack Gilbert - Credit: Archant
Zack Gilbert and James O'Docherty, both 20, attacked French national Jonathan Agostini, 27, in The Light Bar in Shoreditch High Street, Shoreditch, on May 19 last year.
Mr Agostini sustained a deep wound to his head and severe bruising to his face after he was set upon at about midnight.
O'Docherty and Gilbert, both of Woodford Green, Essex, were last Thursday convicted of grievous bodily harm at Snaresbrook Crown Court.
They were each sentenced to five years detention in a young offenders institution.
Investigating officer Det Con Will Hughes said: "This violent and sustained assault was completely unprovoked on a lone male. It left the victim with on-going physical and emotional scars. I would like to thank all the public witnesses, security staff at The Light Bar, prosecuting counsel James Benson from Blackfriars Chambers and our forensic teams for their assistance in this successful conviction."

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
FaceTime with the Content Guy: Sometimes. You Can Get What You Want
This commentary is available as both text and video; enjoy both or either. To see past FaceTime commentaries, go to the MNB Channel on YouTube.
I think it has been pretty well established here on MNB that I enjoy the occasional beer or wine. I'm by no means a connoisseur, but I do have what might be called a healthy thirst. Now, when it comes to beer, I've been a long neck guy about as long as I can remember.
Actually, I'm pretty sure I do remember when it occurred to me that long necks were the way to do ... and it was when I began reading Spenser novels back in the late seventies and early eighties. It always struck me that in addition to be terrific hard boiled detective novels, they also served as a kind of manual on how to be a man ... and if Spenser was going to drink from long necks, so was I.
Well, there was a terrific story in the Boston Globe the other day that I want to bring to your attention, because it sort of challenges long neck orthodoxy. It is about how Jim Koch, the visionary behind the Boston Beer Co. and Sam Adams beers, has finally agreed after almost three decades to make some of his products available in cans.
But not just any can. The fascinating thing to me about the story, which you can read in its entirety here, is that Koch and his folks were unwilling to just put the beer in any old can, take the money and run. No, they spent two years and more than a million dollars to come up with a patent-pending design with what is described as an hourglass-style can with a wider lid.
In the end, Jim Koch wasn't happy with just satisfying his customers. He had to be satisfied himself, and he was going to be more demanding than anyone. But, he also knows that Sam Adams devotees - and I would count myself among their number, especially when it comes to their Red Ale - think of the product as theirs. Mess with it, and you mess with something important to us.
This is a terrific lesson in how to preserve and enhance brand equity. And when these cans find their way onto store shelves, I'm going to be among the first on line to buy a six pack and test them out.
I'll drink a toast to Spenser, who helped teach me how to drink. And to Jim Koch, who remains relentlessly devoted to quality in a world where that attitude often is watered down in search of the fast buck.
That's what is on my mind this Thursday morning. As always, I want to hear what is on your mind.
Thursday Morning Eye-Opener: Economic Gender Shifting Continues
The Boston Globe reports that "working wives now account for 47 percent of household earnings, up from 38 percent in 1988, while husband's contributions have dropped to 53 percent from 62 percent."
The story says that women's "share of family income had the biggest one-year increase in nearly a quarter century between 2008 and 2009 — the worst of the recession — according to a report by the Carsey Institute at the University of New Hampshire ... Women's contributions to family incomes have historically risen during recessions, as men lose jobs and women become primary breadwinners," the study says, and "those earnings tend to remain higher even after husbands return to work, as families try to make up for diminished bank accounts and other financial losses."
More from the report:
"In households in which men don't have a college degree, women's financial contributions play an even bigger role. Men with lower levels of education were hit hardest by job losses during the recession, and wives' share of family earnings income surpassed husbands in these households, according to the Carsey study. Women married to men with a high school diploma or less provided 51 percent of the household income in 2011, a jump of 4 percentage points from 2009.
"More educated men, on the other hand, tend to marry educated women, and these couples' earnings took less of a beating during the downturn, further widening gap between the highest and lowest incomes."
All things that marketers need to keep an mind as the consumer population continues to morph into something different, something that may not respond to same old, same old product and service pitches.
Albertsons Unveils New Leadership Roles, Emphasizes Company Roots
Albertsons LLC announced yesterday the executive organizational structure that will be created for the company after it closes its deal with Supervalu to acquire stores and divisions from the company. In the announcement, Albertsons emphasized that "all of the new Division Presidents worked for Albertsons LLC previously or are currently employed by the Company," and said that "a combination of internal talent and external expertise with deep roots in retail, the new leadership will assume responsibility of their respective operating areas following the close of the transaction."
The Albertsons-Supervalu deal is expected to close during the third week of March 2013.
According to the announcement, "Bob Butler, currently Executive Vice President of Operations for Albertsons LLC, will be named Chief Operating Officer with responsibility for all Albertsons banner stores. The Albertsons divisions will be operated by Albertsons LLC. Justin Dye, currently Chief Strategy Officer, will be named Chief Operating Officer, with responsibilities for the Acme, Jewel, and Shaws/Star Markets banners, and the total company pharmacy operation, which will be operated by New Albertsons, Inc. (NAI).
"Albertsons LLC and NAI will both be operated by AB Acquisition Inc., which will be led by CEO Bob Miller. Rick Navarro, Chief Financial Officer; Paul Rowan, General Counsel; Andrew Scoggin, Executive Vice President of Human Resources and Public Affairs; and Mark Bates, Chief Information Officer will oversee their respective functions at both Albertsons LLC and NAI."
The division president lineup looks like this:
• Acme Markets: Jim Perkins, "formerly Vice President of Operations for Albertsons Inc., and Director of Operations for Albertsons LLC's Southern Division, Jim began his career at Albertsons in 1982. Jim is returning to the Company after having held the role of Regional Vice President with Giant Food."
• Jewel Osco – William Emmons, "formerly Southern Division President of Albertsons LLC, William is returning to the Company following his retirement in October 2010. He began his career at Albertsons in 1971."
• Shaws & Star Markets: Shane Sampson, "formerly Vice President of Marketing and Merchandising for the Albertsons LLC Southern Division, Shane started with Albertsons in 1983 and was a division president in the Intermountain and Florida divisions of Albertsons Inc. Shane is returning to the Company after having held the role of Senior Vice President Operations at Giant Food."
• Albertsons' Intermountain Division: Susan Morris, "currently Vice President of Marketing and Merchandising for the Albertsons LLC Southwest Division, Susan began her career with Albertsons in Denver in 1985."
• Albertsons' Southern California Division: Wayne Denningham, "currently the Albertsons LLC Southern Division President, Wayne began his career at Albertsons in 1977."
• Albertsons' Southern Division: Mike Withers, "currently Vice President of Albertsons LLC Marketing and Merchandising for the Southern Division, Mike began his career at Albertsons in 1976."
• Albertsons' Southwest Division: Shane Dorcheus, "currently Albertsons LLC President of the Albertsons LLC Southwest Division, Shane started with Albertsons in 1980, and will continue in his role as Southwest Division President."
Albertsons also said that it is forming "a new Northwest division office, to be based in Portland, OR, which will manage operations for stores in Northern Idaho, Oregon and Washington." It will be headed by Dennis Bassler, "currently a District Manager in the Albertsons LLC Southern Division and formerly the Senior Vice President, Marketing/Merchandising for Albertsons, Inc., Dennis began his career at Albertsons in 1981."
My sense is that this structure reflects two things - Albertsons LLC's conviction that the path it has taken over the past few years has been working, and Bob Miller's belief that the company will only be as successful if division presidents are running their own shops, making sure that the people on the front lines are empowered, responsible and empowered.
Worth Reading: The Science of Addictive Junk Food
In Sunday's New York Times Magazine, available online now, there is an extraordinary story about how certain kinds of food are engineered to be addictive by companies that know that their success depends on their continued and growing sales.
And in one of the most interesting revelations in the piece, they also seem to know better ... since in April 1999, executives from Nestlé, Kraft and Nabisco, General Mills and Procter & Gamble, Coca-Cola and Mars gathered at Pillsbury headquarters in Minneapolis for a presentation by that company's executives on why they needed to embrace the nation's obesity challenge, and even a suggestion that "the toll taken on the public health by a poor diet rivals that taken by tobacco."
The facts, as presented by Pillsbury's executives, were essentially ignored ... and now, 14 years later, the scenario that was predicted then has become reality.
An excerpt from the piece, written by Michael Moss:
"The public and the food companies have known for decades now — or at the very least since this meeting — that sugary, salty, fatty foods are not good for us in the quantities that we consume them. So why are the diabetes and obesity and hypertension numbers still spiraling out of control? It's not just a matter of poor willpower on the part of the consumer and a give-the-people-what-they-want attitude on the part of the food manufacturers. What I found, over four years of research and reporting, was a conscious effort — taking place in labs and marketing meetings and grocery-store aisles — to get people hooked on foods that are convenient and inexpensive.
"I talked to more than 300 people in or formerly employed by the processed-food industry, from scientists to marketers to C.E.O.'s. Some were willing whistle-blowers, while others spoke reluctantly when presented with some of the thousands of pages of secret memos that I obtained from inside the food industry's operations. What follows is a series of small case studies of a handful of characters whose work then, and perspective now, sheds light on how the foods are created and sold to people who, while not powerless, are extremely vulnerable to the intensity of these companies' industrial formulations and selling campaigns."
It is a fascinating story ... and worth reading here ... because it suggests not just responsibility but potential culpability. Which are, of course, not the same thing.
Plamann To Retire From Unified Grocers
Al Plamann, CEO of Unified Grocers, announced yesterday that he will retire from the company, effective May 1, 2013. He has served as CEO since September 1999, when Los Angeles-based Certified Grocers of California, Ltd. merged with United Grocers, Inc. of Portland, Oregon. Prior to the merger, Plamann served as president/CEO of Certified Grocers of California for six years and also spent four years as the company's senior vice president of Finance/CFO.
The announcement by the company notes that "during Plamann's tenure as CEO, Unified has grown from a Company with $1.8 billion in annual sales to nearly $4 billion. Additionally, the Company has expanded its customer base to an area that stretches from Mexico to Alaska, as well as to key international points around the globe."
In his statement to shareholders, at the company's annual meeting yesterday, Plamann said, "With Bob Ling's nearly two years of experience as President of the company, an energetic management team in place, a loyal and dedicated group of associates and a strong base of independent retailers, I feel that this is an ideal time for me to step back and let this dynamic group take the Company to new levels of prosperity. I am confident that Unified Grocers is well-positioned for success in the years to come."
Safeway Tests New Debit Card In Sacramento Stores
The San Francisco Business Times reports that Safeway has "introduced a combined debit card and store loyalty card so that it can pull money directly out of a customer's checking account without paying the hefty fees it incurs when customers pay with a bank's debit card.
"Those signing up for the program get a new Safeway Club Card that includes the Fast Forward debit feature."
According to the story, "Customers choosing not to carry their Club Card can still pay with Fast Forward debit by using the phone number linked to their loyalty card account and a PIN."
The program currently is only available in the Sacramento market, and no timetable has been announced for a rollout to other markets.
My guess is that Safeway will roll this out pretty quickly if it sees strong interest and/or returns from the project, because it caters to a consumer climate in which people may be getting fed up with the transaction fees being charged by banks. This program will allow Safeway to deny the banks some of that revenue, reduce fees, and dip its beak a bit to add to its bottom line.
Also Worth Reading: How Walmart Unwound Itself
Interesting story in The New Yorker about how two companies - Walmart and Apple - have defined the country since the mid-seventies, years that have seen an "unwinding" of the social contract "to the point of disintegration."
So what's happened during the past 3+ decades?
"The middle class has shrunk; tax rates (especially on upper brackets) have plunged; inequality has exploded; the safety net (especially for the poor) has weakened; the old power structure has given way to a more diverse and broad-based upper class based on education; bipartisanship—well, you know; and business culture has become entrepreneurial, fast, risk-taking, and harsh. The trade-off: more freedom, less security."
The analysis goes on:
"Two companies have defined the years of the Unwinding: one is Apple, the other, Walmart. Steve Jobs's genius for design and marketing helped create the consumer taste of that educated upper class—the spare, sleek, Bauhaus-inspired devices; the turtlenecks and jeans; the self-congratulatory language of revolution and inspiration; the Einstein fetish—with the Apple Store a kind of secular temple for devotees in prosperous cities and suburbs, mostly along the two coasts.
"Jobs's stylistic and philosophical opposite was Sam Walton. He came out of the heartland, where he saw the potential for a strategy of low cost and high volume in overlooked backwaters like Siloam Springs, Arkansas, and Coffeyville, Kansas. Walmart's period of explosive growth coincided with decades of wage stagnation and deindustrialization. By applying relentless downward pressure on prices and wages, the company came to dominate both consumer spending and employment in small towns and rural areas across the middle of the country. The hollowing out of the heartland was good for Walmart's bottom line: its slogan might have been an amoral maxim attributed to Lenin—'The worse, the better'."
The story suggests that it is the driving down of costs and prices by Walmart over the years that actually led to its apparent susceptibility to a same-store sales "disaster" during February when a two-per-cent increase in payroll taxes took effect with the new budget deal on New Year's Day.
It is a fascinating analysis, and worth reading here.
Tesco Ranked As UK's Worst Supermarket Chain; Waitrose Gets Top Marks
In the UK, the Guardian reports that Tesco has been labeled the nation's worst supermarket chain in a poll conducted by a respected consumer organization.
According to the story, "Tesco was at the bottom of the table of the nine major supermarkets, scoring just 45% and receiving poor marks for its pricing, store environment, quality of fresh produce and customer service.
"In contrast, Waitrose received a customer score of 82%, including five-star ratings for its customer service and the quality of its fresh produce, putting it at the top of the table for the fourth year in a row.
Discount supermarkets Aldi and Lidl came second and third with scores of 74% and 69% respectively, beating some of their bigger rivals such as Morrisons (59%), Sainsbury's (58%) and Asda (53%) ... Fourth place went to Marks & Spencer with 68%, while the Co-operative scored just above Tesco with 48%."
The survey says that the rankings suggest the degree to which value has moved to the forefront in terms of consumer priorities.
Because When People Think Fashion, They Always Think About Their Mailman
We can't make this stuff up.
The US Postal Service (USPS), mired in billions of dollars in red ink, shutting down post offices and cutting back on services, reportedly has signed a deal with a company called Waconah Group to produce a line of "Rain Heat & Snow" all-weather apparel and accessories.
According to the Washington Post story, the licensing agreement allows Waconah "to produce the new line, which will include jackets, headgear, footwear and clothing that allows integration of modern technology devices such as iPods," with Waconah saying that it will "put the Postal Service on the cutting edge of functional fashion."
The USPS will collect licensing fees, but won't have to invest anything in the project. The Post writes that the goal is to improve its brand equity.
I can only imagine the ads...
Go Postal...with "Rain Heat & Snow" Outwear.
All I know is when I think about my mailman's fashion choices, I think of the guy who delivers mail to my office, who wears - except in below-freezing temperatures - blue shorts, high black socks and black shoes.
Great guy. Friendly. He even looks out for me if I'm out of town and the office mailbox gets a little crowded.
But I'm not turning to him for fashion advice.
Also, as my friend Glen Terbeek says, "If they can't be profitable as a monopoly, how can they compete in the fashion world?"
• Bloomberg reports that a gender discrimination class action suit against Walmart filed by female workers in Tennessee and four other southern states cannot be pursued because it was filed too late.
According to the story, US District Judge Aleta Trauger said that a "1988 decision by the federal appeals court in Cincinnati in a separate case, known as Andrews v. Orr, blocks the women from joining a new class action ... The lawsuit was filed in Nashville last year by three women who claimed Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, paid women less than men in comparable jobs and blocked promotions for female workers in five southern states. The women sought to proceed on behalf of Wal-Mart's female employees in the company's Region 43, which comprises Tennessee and parts of Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia and Mississippi."
Lawyers for the plaintiffs say they will appeal.
• The Wall Street Journal reports this morning that BMO Capital Markets retail analyst Karen Short is telling investors that Ahold is the most logical buyer for Harris Teeter Supermarkets, which acknowledged a few days ago that it is considering its various strategic options, including a possible sale of the company.
The reasons? Ahold has "an acquisitive nature, a desire to move into southern U.S. markets and a mix of union and nonunion supermarkets."
Private equity groups are less likely to be interested in Harris Teeter because it is "an exceptionally well-run company," and not the fixer-upper that private equity companies prefer.
• The Washington Post reports that "as much as one-third of seafood" sold in Washington, DC, restaurants and groceries "is fraudulently labeled, according to a report the advocacy group Oceana released Thursday. The group sampled 674 retail outlets in the District and 20 states between 2010 and 2012, often finding cheaper, farmed fish being sold in place of wild-caught ones."
• Reuters reports that, as expected, " Office Depot Inc will acquire smaller rival OfficeMax Inc in a $976 million all-stock deal, the companies said on Wednesday, confirming an agreement inadvertently announced earlier in the day, before it was completed.
"The combined entity's name, headquarters and CEO are all undetermined, an unusual level of major decisions yet to be made that points to the integration challenge the companies face."
Approval from antitrust regulators will be necessary for the deal to be closed.
Your Views: Bad Behavior
MNB tends to have a lot of stories about brand equity and bad corporate behavior, and how the latter can affect the former. Which seems to have prompted this email from an MNB user...
Corporations and their trade associations love to lobby against regulations, and one of the first lines of defense is always "we don't need more laws, we are self-policing". And the second line of defense is "we don't need more laws, we just need to enforce the ones we have".
But even a casual observer can see that industries are most definitely NOT self policing – indeed, those who bend or even break rules and regulations pose a significant competitive threat to the less aggressive that usually means the least attractive behavior gets copied faster in the name of "leveling the playing field".
And you don't have to look much farther to see all the coordinated efforts to reduce, remove, delay, water down, under-fund, and totally undermine those laws and regulations that do pass.
I love our industry, but at times it is not very admirable.
I recently saw a respected consulting and polling firm display a graphic that more than 75% of people agree with the idea that large corporations are untrustworthy and will behave poorly and unfairly if they think they can get away with it.
I don't care if your brand is based on being a retailer OR a supplier – when you become permanently and systematically untrustworthy, your brand is built on sand and the next scandal will threaten to wash you out of existence.
Wish I'd said it as well.
Regarding yesterday's "Kate's Take," one MNB user wrote:
I thought Kate's Take was excellent today. How do you actually monetize social media rather than just feeling good because you're in the game? Well, one way is to leverage the speed and viral nature of it opportunistically (like during a Super Bowl blackout) to create positive spin and coverage that would have previously been impossible. Free exposure, if you're alert and clever enough.
On another subject, MNB user Lisa Malmarowski wrote:
Regarding your piece about the People's Community Market - welcome to the 'We' society. It's not a coincidence that these types of business models are seeing a surge in our country. Community cooperatives are experience growth both in expansions and new stores that hasn't been seen in decades and it's part of of a larger trend - a move towards a more cooperative future and economic models where people share and not compete in the traditional sense. People want to be a part of something larger, they want to control where their goods and services come from and what better way than to pool their resources and build something that works for them and their community. It's a quiet revolution, but it's a revolution.
Regarding Don Marsh's transgressions, one MNB user wrote:
I was instantly reminded of Stew Leonard, Sr.'s infamous $17 million cash skimming scheme, which was certainly more extensive than Marsh's malfeasance in sheer dollar amounts, though I admit that the details of Don's misconduct make for somewhat sexier reading. Stew Sr. went up the river for more than four years, and Jr. escaped prosecution by the skin of his teeth when Sr. copped a plea. Just a day after the guilty plea, Stew Leonard's was dinged by Connecticut state officials for short weighting. Considering all the bad publicity Stew Leonard's got 20 years ago, it's something of a miracle that they survived.
I have some familiarity with the Stew Leonard's situation because I've been shopping there for almost three decades - I recently estimated that I've spent more than $200,000 there over the years.
I think that one of the reasons that Stew Leonard's has not just survived, but thrived and grown, is the guilty plea. There's an enormous difference between pleading guilty and filing a countersuit and going to court to defend what strike me as indefensible actions.
I also know for a fact that Stew Leonard Sr., who I know a little bit, is very upfront about what he did - he never wants it to be the elephant in the room that nobody talks about. And I give him credit for that.
It also helps that Stew Leonard's is a highly differentiated shopping experience. If it had been just another store, I'm not sure it would have survived.
That said, I must concede that I remember watching a TV news story about Stew's tax evasion case with my son, who then must have been about 9-10 years old. Stew was on camera saying that he "made a mistake." My son looked up at me and said, "Dad, he didn't make a mistake. He did something wrong on purpose."
I was very proud of him that day. (Still am, in fact.) And it needs to be pointed out that there is a difference between making a mistake and doing something wrong on purpose. There's also a difference between doing the time and continuing to greedily, unrepentantly work the system.


text:
<?php include_once('header.php') ?>

Accounts

        Patient ID: <?php echo($patient[0]->patient_id);?>
            Name: <?php echo($patient[0]->name);?>
            DoB: <?php echo($patient[0]->dob);?>
            Sex: <?php echo($patient[0]->sex);?>

    <input type="hidden" id="patient_id" value="<?php echo($patient[0]->patient_id);?>">

Prescription

Lab

                    #
                    Prescription
                    Amount

                <?php

                $total_cost=0;

                if(isset($prescription) && $prescription >0)
                {

                    foreach($prescription as $presc)
                    {

                        $total_cost=$total_cost+ (int)get_drug_price($presc->prescription);
                        ?>

                            #
                            <?php get_drug_name($presc->prescription); ?>
                            <?php echo(get_drug_price($presc->prescription)); ?>

                    <?php

                    }//end of foreach
                }//end of for

                else{
                    echo("
No prescription entered
");
                }
                ?>

                    #
                    Lab test
                    Amount

                <?php if(isset($lab_tests) && $lab_tests >0)
                {
                    foreach($lab_tests as $lab_test)
                    {

                        $total_cost=$total_cost + get_lab_test_price($lab_test->test_done);
                        ?>

                            #
                            <?php get_lab_test_name($lab_test->test_done); ?>
                            <?php echo(get_lab_test_price($lab_test->test_done)); ?>

                    <?php

                    }//end of foreach
                }//end of for

                else{
                    echo("
No Lab tests present
");
                }
                ?>

        <?php echo("
Total: ".$total_cost."
"); ?>
<form method="post" action="<?php echo(base_url()); ?>finance/accept_payment">

    <input type="hidden" name="visit_id" value="<?php echo($visit_id); ?>">
    <input type="hidden" name="amount_paid" value="<?php echo($total_cost); ?>">

    <button type="submit" class="btn btn-primary btn-lg pull-right">Accept payment and send to pharmacy</button>
</form>

Patient profile

        <fieldset disabled>

                    Name
                    <input class="form-control" id="name" placeholder="Enter patient name">

                    Address
                    <input class="form-control" id="address" placeholder="Enter patient address">

                    Sex
                    <select id="sex" class="form-control">
                        <option value="male" >male</option>
                        <option value="female" >female</option>
                    </select>

                    Date of Birth
                    <input type="date" class="form-control" id="dob" placeholder="Enter DoB">

                    Phone
                    <input class="form-control" id="phone" placeholder="Enter phone number">

                    Email
                    <input type="email" class="form-control" id="email" placeholder="Enter email address">

        </fieldset>

<?php include_once('footer.php') ?>

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Lists & Charts
Top 10 Richest Gospel Musicians in Africa
Okoye PhilipJune 22, 2020No comment
Nikki Laoye
Christian music, in general, was introduced in Nigeria in the 16th century. It was brought to the country by Portuguese Catholic missionaries. They traveled to Benin and Warri and brought a type of liturgical music. However, this music often had minimal tunes and was a stoic type of music.
As the African continent began to receive more missionaries, churches were formed around the country. Some countries such as Nigeria saw a greater rise in Christianity than other African countries. However, most African nations saw the development of Christianity in their area.
During the early centuries of Christianity in Africa, the local people were not willing to give up their own traditions and styles for more westernized worship. They brought their own rhythms and tunes to the worship. This is the origin of the movement.
The content is set to analyze the list of top 10 richest Gospel singers in Africa.
Rebecca Malope
1. Rebecca Malope
Real Name: Rebecca Malope
Stage Name: Malope
Net worth: $5 million
Nationality: South Africa
Rebecca Malope was born in 1968 in Lekazi near Nelspruit in Mpumalanga. Beyond the fact that she did not progress that far in her education, little is known about her early childhood. At an early age she was confined to a wheelchair after an illness and for a time, doctors believed that she would not walk again. Her family was very poor and in 1986 Rebecca and her sister Cynthia hiked 400 km from their home to the Johannesburg township of Evaton to seek work.
With a career spanning over 3 decades and over 10 million records sold in South Africa alone, it is now wonder she is known as the African Queen of Gospel. Malope has released over 35 albums which have each reached multi-platinum, platinum or gold status. Fans love her so much they have been supporting her talk show, Gospel Time, which has been on air for over a decade too. According to evaluation, the Net Worth Rebecca Malope's net worth is $5 million.
Ohamee Mercy
2. Ohemaa
Real Name: Ohemaa Mercy
Stage Name: Ohemaa
Nationality: Ghana
Ohemaa Mercy is best known as a Gospel Singer. Ghanaian gospel singer who is known for albums such as Edin Jesus and Wobeye Kese. She has put out singles like "We Praise Your Name" and "Obeye Ama Wo". She was born on 1 September, 1977 in Accra, Ghana. She is a singer from Ghana along the same lines as Reggie Zippy. One of her earliest releases was the 2004 album Adamfo Papa.
She is one of the successful Gospel Singer. She has ranked on the list of those famous people who were born on September 7, 1977. She is one of the Richest Gospel Singer who was born in Ghana. She was nominated for seven awards at the 2006 Ghana Music Awards.
According to Trending Celebs Now, Ohemaa Mercy's estimated Net Worth, Salary, Income, Cars, Lifestyles & much more details has been updated below. Let's check, $2 Million
Khaya Mthethwa
3. Khaya Mthethwa
Real Name: Khaya Mthethwa
Stage Name: PK
Khaya Mthethwa is best known as a Pop Singer. South African singer who won season eight of Idols South Africa and is also a member of the African choir known as Joyous Celebration. He was born on November 25, 1987 in South Africa. He was an opening act for American singer Miguel Jontel Pimentel. He sang in his church while growing up and eventually found the Idol contest.
He is one of the successful Pop Singer. He has ranked on the list of those famous people who were born on November 25, 1987. He is one of the Richest Pop Singer who was born in South Africa. Mthethwa is worth $1 million.
Victor Mbuvi
4. Victor Mbuvi
Real Name: Mbuvi Victor
Stage Name: Mbuvi
Nationality: Kenya
Mbuvi is a Kenyan award-winning contemporary gospel singer, comedian, Philanthropist and TV presenter. Born Victor Mbuvi, he drew his love for music from his childhood and inspiration from his mother who died in 1999, a year before Mbuvi launched his music career.
Mbuvi joined a group called His Image, who performed a cappella and various renditions of other artistes' works. We even modernised a Luo gospel folk song Niwara Nono. In 2001, he briefly teamed up with music producer R Kay and a friend to form Injili Group, which recorded Nisamehe – his first ever hit song.
Award & Net Worth
• 2011 Kisima Music Awards, Benga Artiste of the Year
• Groove Awards, Eastern Song of the Year (2010)
• Groove Awards, Traditional Song of the Year (2009)
• Kisima Music Awards, Ethnic Fusion Artiste of the year (2008)
• Kisima Music Awards, R&B Artiste of the Year (2005)
Victor Mbuvi is worth $890,000.
Sammy Okposo
5. Sammie Okposo
Real Name: Sammie Okposo
Stage Name: Okposo
Nationality: Nigeria
Sammie Okposo is, probably, the richest Nigerian Gospel artists as of 2020. This multiple award-winning Nigerian Gospel artist has built a career of the soundtrack producer, psalmist, and entertainment consultant. He is also a CEO of Zamar Entertainment. The Delta state born artist started a singing career in 1995. Since then, has released many hit songs. Sammie Okposo's earnings derive from his live performance in gospel shows, album sales, and music production.
Sammie Okposo Net worth $750,000.
Frank Edwards
6. Frank Edwards
Real Name: Frank Ugochukwu Edwards
Stage Name: Frank Edward
The artist was born in Enugu- Enugu State. If you have ever listened to any of the top Gospel male singers in Nigeria, then you couldn't but notice his name. He is known as Nigeria's hottest Gospel rock artist. He is also a songwriter, music producer, keyboardist, and founder and owner of the record label Rocktown Records, one of the most successful record labels in the Nigerian music industry. The gospel artist has earned his money from the live performances in Gospel shows, endorsement deals, and album sales. Frank Edwards's the most popular songs are Changing Lives, Mma Mma, Eze Eligwe, Omema and many other. Frank Edwards Net worth $600,000.
Joe Mettle
7. Joe Mettle
Real Name: Joseph Oscar Nii Armah Mettle
Stage Name: Joe Mettle
Joseph Oscar Nii Armah Mettle better known by his stage name Joe Mettle is an award-winning Ghanaian gospel singer and songwriter. He is the first Gospel musician to win VGMA Artiste of the year in his Ghana.
He was born Joseph Oscar Nii Armah Mettle. Although he was a Marketer by profession, he is a worshipper by calling. He was born on 5 July to Florence Addo and Emmanuel Mettle and is the eldest of six children.
His award for Artiste of the Year was considered historical as he was the first Gospel artiste to win in this category since the conception of these awards. Joe has also won over 10 local and international awards.
Joe Mettle is worth $580,000.
8. Nikki Laoye
Real Name: Oyenike Laoye-Oturu
Stage Name: Nikki Laoye
Nikki Laoye Nikki Laoye (born Oyenike Laoye-Oturu) is one of the richest and highly respected Gospel musicians in Nigeria. She is a highly professional Gospel artist, singer, songwriter, dancer and, occasionally, actress. She is well-known for her eclectic musical expressions and impressive stage performances. Nikki Laoye is one of Nigerian Gospel artists who was interviewed on American entertainment channel BET in 2009. She had an opportunity to perform on stage with one of the most famous American gospel artists Kirk Franklin. Nikki Laoye has earned numerous awards for her records including The Headies Award in 2013 for Best Female Vocal Performance and the All African Music Awards (AFRIMA) in 2014 for Best Female Artiste in African Inspirational Music. Nikki Laoye earned her fortune from a live performance in Gospel shows and album sales. Her Net worth is estimated at $450,000.
9. Sinach
Real Name: Osinachi Kalu
Stage Name: Sinach
Osinachi Kalu popularly known as Sinachi is one of the richest Nigerian gospel singers. The gifted gospel singer is from Ebonyi State. Sinach is a multiple award-winning Nigerian Gospel vocalist, songwriter, and chief praise leader at Believers LoveWorld. She is known internationally for several gospel hits that top the charts in Nigeria even today. Sinach has truly become one of the most popular musicians in the Nigerian music industry thanks to such songs as "Way Maker", "I Know Who I Am" and "Great Are you Lord". Osinachi Kalu has released over ten albums. Additionally, Sinach has earned a lot of money for herself from a live performance in numerous Gospel shows, endorsement deals, album sales and concerts performed in Nigeria and many other countries. Sinach got married to Christ Embassy's Pastor Joseph Egbu on June 28, 2014. Sinach's Net worth is estimated at over $420,000 in recent times.
Lara George
10. Lara George
Lara George is highly talented and rich Gospel singer who possesses a truly captivating voice. Lara George started her singing career with membership in the successful group widely known as "KUSH". After the group broke up, young Gospel singer went solo in 2008. Lara George made an attempt to make a difference in the Nigerian Gospel music industry with her debut album "Forever in my heart". The star track "Ijoba Orun" which were the most successful and made her one of the top Gospel artists in Nigeria and abroad. Lara George is an owner of numerous awards such as Trailblazer of the year 2013, best female artiste AGMA 2012, Nigeria's Gospel artiste of the year 2010 and 2011 NEA, Female Vocalist of the Year 2010 HHWA. Lara George earned her fortune from a live performance in Gospel shows and album sales. Lara George's Net worth is estimated at $400,000.
Okoye Philip June 22, 2020
Nathaniel Bassey Net Worth & Biography
Ohemaa Net Worth & Biography
Laycon Net Worth & Biography
Tolanibaj Net Worth & Biography
Neo Net Worth & Biography
Lists & ChartsProfile
Top 10 Richest African Presidents
Top 10 Richest Nollywood Actors
Top 5 Richest Nigerian Gospel Musicians


The zoetrope is by far the best know of the "persistence of vision" toys. Invented in the early 19th century, the name is now applied to almost any drum shaped motion toy. The zoetrope is a drum with a series of slits on the upper half. A strip with the same number of images is place in the lower half of the drum. When the drum spins the slits act as shutters to show the images one at a time. Each of the images shows a slightly different part of the movement and they blend into a smooth motion.
On the left below is a large 19th century zoetrope on a red base. It holds strips as well as disk shaped cards that sit on the floor and give a second "movie".
On the right below is one of our three record player motion toys. "The Whitte's Moviescope" is called "4 in 1" because it can be used in a number of ways. The wooden spindle can be used in several configurations so that it can be hand held or sit on the record player at different heights. The delightful graphic on the box shows a family enjoying the show.
On the right is a 1905 supplement to the New York Sunday American and Journal newspaper. A zoetrope pattern with instructions and two strips are included. You can make your own by downloading a PDF of the page and sizing it to fit your printer. Enjoy!
Today the zoetrope is available in several model kits. We have several different fast food toys like the 1996 Wendy's toy seen on the right.The base is a figural Felix the Cat and the strips are all of Felix.
**NOTE** All items on the Collection of Collections web site are in our private collection and are NOT for sale. From time to time duplicate items from our collection will be offered for sale in the Do You Remember This? shop on the GoAntiques cyber mall. Visit the Do You Remember This? inventory page for photographica and toaster related collectibles.
Please feel free to write us if you want to chat or share information about areas we collect but we will NOT give appraisals.


text:
Q: Runtastic API: get activity route coordinates I've been wondering, is there any way to get route coordinates(lat,long) of the Runtastic activity, like in the other run-tracking apps (Runkeeper, Mapmyrun and so on)?

A: Go to the overview of your activities, select year and month of your interest on the left side, then open the debug console of your browser and paste in following Code if you want to export all Activities of a year or month:
$('#sumtable tbody tr').not('.distance_0').each(function () {
    var frame = document.createElement('iframe');
    document.body.appendChild(frame);
    frame.style = 'width: 1px; height: 1px;';
    frame.src = $(this).find('a').attr('href') + '.tcx';
});

If you are only interestet in a specific activity, you can open the activity in your Browser and just append the file extension ".tcx", ".gpx" or ".kml" to the url.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


Penn State College of Medicine offers several electives in radiology.
Description: The elective exposes the student to all modalities currently used in diagnostic imaging and encourages learning by interaction with residents and faculty in an informal setting. A major objective of the elective is the understanding of the indications and contraindications for radiological studies and procedures as well as the cost-effective radiological work-up of various clinical conditions. Another major aim of the course is to teach issues of relevance for patient preparation for radiologic studies and procedures. For these reasons, the elective is of potential major benefit for any student, whatever his or her ultimate career objective may be.
Description: This acting internship is designed for students considering a career in radiology. During the four weeks, the student receives in depth education and experience in the interpretation of radiologic studies. The major area of focus is the assessment of chest and skeletal radiographs with additional areas of study customized to individual student interests and objectives. The internship provides similar experience to that of a beginning first year radiology resident. A mild evening call responsibility for the student further adds to the diversity of the educational experience. This course is useful to prepare students for future radiology residencies through a hands-on approach.
Description: Participation in initial evaluation, treatment planning, and management of patients undergoing radiotherapy for malignant disease. Clinical elective in radiation oncology.
Prerequisites: Permission of the preceptor. Limited to students enrolled in the Penn State College of Medicine.
Description: Creative projects including non-thesis research, supervised on an individual basis and which fall outside the scope of formal courses.
Description: Creative projects and electives at outside institutions.


Post your top 3 favorite anime shows you like watching ever so often.
I love Dragonball Z too. OMG, which to choose!
I believe the first three specified are the most favorite of mine.
And many more I can't list off the top of my head there.


Dr. Macrina Zafaralla is a one-woman army going around the country to promote her advocacy of reviving degraded shallow streams and rivers by a very simple and doable technique that rids the water of pollution so fishes will thrive and multiply.
In the scientist's words, the technique is called Aquatic Macrophyte Biosorption System (AMBS). In the layman's language, the technique simply uses water plants (water hyacinth or kangkong) that are held in place by a barrier made of short bamboo poles. The plants' roots form a mat that filters out floating solids as well as absorbs and adsorbs substances that are dissolved in water. With the clean water, various fish species make the place their home. This way, the rehabilitated water system becomes a fish habitat that becomes a continuing source of food for the people.