text:
INTERVIEW: TUSK North
After a tough 18 months, TUSK is re-emerging this month with an exciting new event. Lee Fisher spoke to Lee Etherington to find out more
By Lee Fisher on Tuesday, March 1st, 2022
Image: Yao Bobby + Simon Grab
In the autumn of 2020, as gigs and festivals collapsed or reduced in scale, TUSK went against the prevailing mood to deliver what was probably their most expansive and successful project, a two-week programme of streamed performances, films, conversations and more. It was global in both reach and content and was a genuinely thrilling oasis in a desert of pandemic gloom. It also showed the TUSK team new ways to work, with their YouTube channel now boasting 300+ performances and 2,000 daily views. "We're still trying to work out how to make the most of this but have some major streaming plans for this year." Lee Etherington explains.
Despite that triumph, 2021 was tough. "The last 18 months have been pretty brutal for us, to be honest, as we've struggled to raise any funding at all for the first time since we began in 2011, so we've come pretty close to shutting up shop on numerous occasions. I'd say we're still not out of the woods by any stretch, though we are able to do a series of events, streaming and digital content through the spring at least and are working hard to get things back on an even keel as the independent music world tries to get back on its feet."
ICMuS is certainly one of the more adventurous university music departments and we hope this is the first of many collaborations
The TUSK team have built an increasingly close relationship with Newcastle's International Centre For Music Studies (ICMuS), with regular collaborators Mariam Rezaei and Will Edmondes both working there and TUSK videos even being used in lectures. This relationship has led to TUSK North, taking place at The Lit & Phil this month, and a full collaboration in terms of programming. "We're very protective of our programming so this is a new way for us to work but we feel we share so much in common re: outlook and aesthetics of music with Mariam, Will and ICMuS generally that it's come together in a way that we're all very happy with. It enables us to bring some acts to the region for the first time and showcase some favourite locals while also bringing more light to the great artists based at the University. ICMuS is certainly one of the more adventurous university music departments and we hope this is the first of many collaborations."
The event will take place across the whole of The Lit & Phil, a beautiful building full of opportunities and spaces. There'll be installations, talks, a video jukebox, a full TOPH fringe and a sacred harp session led as ever by Cath and Phil Tyler. As we've come to expect, Etherington's enthusiasm is infections, especially when talking about the music line-up.
"I've spent a lot of lockdown enjoying releases from Uganda's Nyege Nyege and related labels so we're really excited to bring Yao Bobby + Simon Grab's noise-spattered dancehall. And Supriya Nagarajan and Lucy Nolan's merge of carnatci singing and harp is sublime. Apartment House are someone we've been trying to bring here for the past few years and they will perform a new piece by our friend Jim O'Rourke for oscillator and strings. Plus Edward George's superheavy Strangeness of Dub show, amazing Newcastle bands like Penance Stare and Bad Amputee, unhinged electronics from Kenosist, Will and Mariam in various guises and loads more."
TUSK North takes places at The Lit & Phil, Newcastle on Friday 4th and Saturday 5th March.
Feature: A Look Back On 2022 – Lee Fisher
ALBUM REVIEWS: Stick In The Wheel, Shovel Dance Collective & Black Ox Orkestar
NARC. Mini-Doc #4 – Outside The Mainstream: The North East's Alternative Scene
NARC. E-ZINE #7
ALBUM REVIEW: Caitlin Rose – Cazimi
ALBUM REVIEW: James Johnston & Steve Gullick – Everybody's Sunset
NEWS: Gnod @ The Lubber Fiend
INTERVIEW: Richard Dawson
NEWS: Divide & Dissolve @ Star & Shadow Cinema
INTERVIEW: Jumpin' Hot Club 37th Anniversary
LIVE REVIEW: BCUC, Kay Greyson @ Cobalt Studios, Newcastle (23.10.22)


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Twisted Fate (Twisted World, #3)
By: Kate L. Mary
Length: 11 hrs 24 mins
Genre: Dystopian, Science fiction
The world Megan James thought she knew has been slowly unraveling. Her father disappeared and was presumed dead, her mother's sanity started to slip away, and the safe world she'd always thought she was living in slowly began to reveal its very dark and twisted depths. With the discovery that both her father and long-lost uncle, Angus James, were alive, Meg thought she'd finally learned all the secrets New Atlanta and the CDC had to offer, but she soon discovers the surprises have barely begun. With Jackson Star's threatening presence looming over them, Meg and her family are forced to flee the walls of New Atlanta, leaving both Axl and Donaghy, the man Meg has come to care so much about, in the CDC's clutches. Knowing that rescuing them will be no easy task, the group turns to a very unlikely source, and Meg soon discovers her long-lost uncle has more than a few shocking secrets to share. After two decades of living behind walls, it looks like the end of the zombies could be in sight, assuming they can break into the most fortified building left in the world. Luckily, Angus James knows exactly what to do to make it happen. But Angus isn't the only one with a few tricks up his sleeves. When Jackson Star suddenly decides to release Donaghy, it isn't out of the kindness of his heart. With the clock ticking more than ever, Meg finds herself in a race against time. Success means not only saving her family, but the whole world as well, while failure could very well mean a life of living as Jackson Star's slave.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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What do the impurity data of GCL's granular polysilicon mean?
The low hydrogen content of GCL's granular polysilicon stands out in comparison with other FBR products – Chart: Bernreuter Research
GCL-Poly Energy is drumming up its granular polysilicon business. On March 9 the company issued the third update on the 10,000-ton fluidized bed reactor (FBR) facility of its polysilicon subsidiary Jiangsu Zhongneng within three months.
The series of process efficiency and product quality data published has to be taken with a grain of salt as GCL's announcements are known for exaggerations. For instance, the company claimed a monocrystalline yield of 99% for its cast-mono silicon ingots in 2019, which was met with widespread skepticism in the industry.
GCL says that 90% of the granular polysilicon from Jiangsu Zhongneng can be used for monocrystalline materials. We assume that the published impurity data only refer to this portion of the output.
As the chart above shows, the metal and carbon concentrations of GCL's product are comparable to those on the latest data sheets of TianREC, the Chinese FBR joint venture between U.S.-based polysilicon manufacturer REC Silicon and Shaanxi Non-Ferrous Tianhong New Energy in Yulin, Shaanxi province.
The low concentration of metals is due both to the high purity of monosilane injected into the FBR, compared to trichlorosilane used in the conventional Siemens process, and to a liner that prevents the reactor wall from contaminating the polysilicon granules produced inside the reactor.
Relatively high carbon concentration, but very low hydrogen content
Compared to the best Category I of the PV17 standard on virgin polysilicon for PV applications from Semiconductor Equipment and Materials International (SEMI), however, the granular materials from both GCL and TianREC exhibit higher carbon concentrations. Those originate from the liner coating usually made of silicon carbide.
Although GCL acquired the FBR technology from bankrupt Sunedison in 2017, the granular polysilicon from Jiangsu Zhongneng does not reach the low carbon values that Sunedison's FBR subsidiary MEMC Pasadena achieved (see chart above) until it shut down operations in late 2015.
In contrast, the hydrogen content of GCL's material appears very low. If the company's update does not confuse parts per million by weight (ppmw) with parts per million atoms (ppma), then the low hydrogen concentration of 20 ppma seems to correlate to GCL's boldest claim: a fine powder ratio of "below 0.1%".
In a typical FBR, 10% to 15% of the injected monosilane decomposes to fine silicon powder (dust). Only the vibrational research and development reactor of Centrotherm Sitec (now insolvent) is said to have reached dust rates of 0.1%. If GCL should actually have achieved the same value, this would be a technological sensation. We have to wait for customers that can – at least indirectly – confirm GCL's bold claim.
fluidized bed reactor
monosilane
SunEdison
TianREC


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College Forums | Team Apparel & Merchandise | Articles | CFB Playoff & Bowls | NCAA Tournament
2009 NCAA Tournament: Midwest Regional Elite 8 Recap
Michigan State shocks Louisville to advance to Final Four
Midwest Regional Championship @ Lucas Oil Stadium - Indianapolis
No. 2 Michigan State (30-6) 64 - No. 1 Louisville (31-6) 52
Key Moment: Spartans went on an 18-2 run midway through the second half.
High Point Scorers: Michigan State -- Goran Suton 19, Louisville -- Earl Clark 19
Analysis: Maybe the surprise result of any of the Elite 8 games. However, the tough-minded Big 10 regular season champion Spartans embodied their coach Tom Izzo and reached their fifth Final Four in 11 years -- the most of any program during that time -- because they were determined to play a deliberate and patient style of game. Louisville's attempt to play an uptempo style proved fruitless because point guard Kalin Lucas broke it time and time again. Michigan State made the Cardinals, the No. 1 overall seed in the tournament, play frustrated.
This also gives the state of Michigan a lift. The state has been hit hard economically because of the problems with the Big 3 automakers. So this is something that the state can definitely embrace. But this isn't just a do-it-for-the-state type of story. The Spartans were always thought of as one of about 10 teams good enough to get to Ford Field. With Detroit so close, the idea of getting to Ford Field became the mission when workouts began in October.
Goran Suton was huge in this regional. His 14 early points in the first half helped the Spartans fend off constand Louisville charges. More than that, he had key tap outs or made a defensive play that kept possessions alive. So all of the little things he did were noticeable. And if you told Izzo forward Raymar Morgan would score only four points in the two regional games, he probably thought there would be no way his team would make it.
Louisville, the Big East regular season and tournament champions, just never found a rhythm. The Cardinals shot 38 percent from the field and 37.5 percent from 3-point range. Terrence Williams only scored five points and Samardo Samuels didn't score.
Controlling the pace and efficiently running the offense was a thing of beauty. Now, the Spartans will face West regional champion Connecticut in one semifinal at 6:07 EDT on Saturday.
By Kevin Lonnquist
DFN Sports Senior Staff Writer
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Farnborough is on the very border of Warwickshire, towards the south-east. The church is St Botolph's, which is primarily 14th century. South-west of the village is Farnborough Hall, a country house with landscaped garden.
The possible site of a deserted medieval settlement or Manor House complex. The remains of the settlement are visible as earthworks on aerial photographs. The site is located 300m south east of Farnborough.
Ornamental fishponds, used for breeding and storing fish during the Imperial period. They are associated with the landscaping of Farnborough Park.
The remains of a linear earthwork. It may have been constructed in the Medieval period to mark the boundary of two parishes. The earthwork is situated 600m north west of the church at Farnborough.
Possibly shrunken post-medieval settlement or could also be a deserted medieval settlement associated with the earthworks to the south. A hollow way and several house platforms are visible as earthworks.
Ridge and furrow cultivation in Farnborough Parish of Medieval and Post Medieval date. In some areas the ridge and furrow survives as an earthwork. In other areas it is visible on aerial photographs.
The site of a disused canal feeder, a channel which feeds water from a reservoir into a canal when the water level gets low. It dates to the Imperial period, and linked Clattercot Resevoir to the Oxford Canal, and was located 1 km southwest of Claydon.
The site of a well dedicated to St Botolph and shown on an Ordnance Survey map of 1923. Its date is unknown. The location is 100m south of St Botolph's Church.
The Oval Pavillion, a garden building constructed during the Imperial period. It is located in the landscape park associated with Farnborough Hall.
The Oxford Canal, a waterway used for transporting goods. It was built during the Imperial period and is still in use.
This map shows markers for every photo, article, historic site and catalogue record within the Farnborough category.


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Whether you are planning to grow your home, revamp your exterior or complete a new build, you are sure to find your perfect match in our range of claddings.


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GA-ASI RPA Training Academy Augmented With Simulator, Instructors
Collaboration Supports Industrial Opportunities for North Dakota Workforce
SAN DIEGO – 25 May 2016 – General Atomics Aeronautical Systems, Inc. (GA‑ASI), a leading manufacturer of Remotely Piloted Aircraft (RPA) systems, radars, and electro-optic and related mission systems solutions, today announced two contracts in support of GA-ASI's new RPA Training Academy in Grand Forks, North Dakota.
GA-ASI will collaborate with the UND Aerospace Foundation located at the University of North Dakota (UND) to support UND Aerospace in expanding the use of RPA for commercial applications. This collaboration is expected to create high-technology jobs and establish North Dakota as a leader in the RPA industry. As part of this collaboration, GA-ASI also will expand its current worldwide partnership with CAE, a global leader in the delivery of training for the defense and civil aviation markets.
"GA-ASI is pleased to align with UND Aerospace and CAE to augment our RPA Training Academy's curriculum with comprehensive training solutions for our international and domestic customers," said Linden Blue, CEO, GA-ASI. "We look forward to working with UND Aerospace and CAE to meet the growing global demand for RPA instruction."
UND Aerospace will provide its existing Predator Mission Aircrew Training System (PMATS), a flight simulator that accurately reproduces Predator® and Reaper® pilot and sensor operator aircrew stations, allowing students to master the art of flying and operating a GA-ASI RPA system. In March 2011, UND Aerospace became the first non-military educational institution in the U.S. to provide initial qualification and continuation training simulation support for operators of Predator and Reaper aircraft. In addition to offering simulation capabilities, UND Aerospace will support the Training Academy with additional facilities, and instructors.
Adding to the collaboration with UND Aerospace, CAE will grow its existing partnership with GA-ASI through simulator development efforts and by contributing a portion of the Academy's instructor cadre. CAE plans to leverage its experience and expertise in providing the U.S. Air Force with MQ-1 Predator and MQ-9 Reaper classroom, simulator, and live flying instruction. CAE was recently contracted to develop a Predator Mission Simulation Trainer that will be delivered to the Italian Air Force in 2017, enabling the service to conduct training for its Predator and MQ-9 pilots and sensor operators. The high-fidelity Predator Trainer will allow rapid transition to flight operations without further training on the actual aircraft.
The mission of the GA-ASI RPA Training Academy is to provide safe, effective, and cutting-edge flight training for aircrew operating the company's aircraft. As an additional benefit, the Training Academy will potentially serve to augment U.S. Air Force and other customer training programs as well. Training for GA-ASI aircrew begins this summer, followed by international customer training in the fall.
The Academy is co-located with Grand Forks Air Force Base, which also serves as the base of operations for U.S. Department of Homeland Security/Customs and Border Protection Predator B aircraft.
High-resolution photos of Predator A, Predator B, and PMATS, as well as artistic renderings of the GA-ASI RPA Training Academy, are available to qualified media outlets from the GA-ASI media contact listed below.
General Atomics Aeronautical Systems, Inc., an affiliate of General Atomics, delivers situational awareness by providing remotely piloted aircraft systems, radar, and electro-optic and related mission systems solutions for military and commercial applications worldwide. The company's Aircraft Systems business unit is a leading designer and manufacturer of proven, reliable RPA systems, including Predator A, Predator B/MQ-9 Reaper, Gray Eagle, the new Predator C Avenger®, and Predator XP. It also manufactures a variety of state-of-the-art digital Ground Control Stations (GCS), including the next-generation Advanced Cockpit GCS, and provides pilot training and support services for RPA field operations. The Mission Systems business unit designs, manufactures, and integrates the Lynx® Multi-mode Radar and sophisticated Claw® sensor control and image analysis software into both manned and remotely piloted aircraft. It also focuses on providing integrated sensor payloads and software for Intelligence, Surveillance and Reconnaissance (ISR) aircraft platforms and develops high energy lasers, electro-optic sensors, and meta-material antennas. For more information, please visit www.ga-asi.com.
Predator, Reaper, Avenger, Lynx, and Claw are registered trademarks of General Atomics Aeronautical Systems, Inc.
Posted on May 25, 2016 by Webmaster


Unable to start debugging on the web server. Could not start ASP .NET debugging. More Information may be available by starting the project without debugging.
, that cleared the error!
Run Visual Studio 2008 Command Prompt as "Administrator".
Navigate to C:\Windows\Microsoft.NET\Framework\v3.0\Windows Communication Foundation.
You should use the function System.Security.SecurityElement.Escape and not the function System.Web.HttpUtility.HtmlEncode to escape special characters in XML if you don't want the characters like éûÉ to be converted to éûÉ which is permit able but not necessary en can result in long xml fields.
// Data is the un-escaped text that should be inserted in a XML tag.
// A xml tag with the name "test" is used, just for creating the SecurityElement.
// Generate the un-escaped text.
Create custom eventlog during setup, by reading log4net configuration file.
If you want to create a customeventlog during setup, in a custom action. You can open a App.config file containing the log4net configuration and read the settings from that file at runtime.
/// Returns C:\Program Files\MyCompany\MyProduct or C:\Program Files (x86)\MyCompany\MyProduct depending on the platform.
// Close application to allow the Windows eventlog service to refresh.
// When applcation is restarted the first log event will create the log file.
Adding a folder to the .NET assembly search path, to prevent the error Could not load file or assembly 'log4net, Version=1.2.10.0, Culture=neutral, PublicKeyToken=1b44e1d426115821' or one of its dependencies. The system cannot find the file specified.
Could not load file or assembly 'log4net, Version=1.2.10.0, Culture=neutral, PublicKeyToken=1b44e1d426115821' or one of its dependencies. The system cannot find the file specified.
By the way this will also occur when you use custom configuration sections in you're the App.config of you're program (exe) and want to use the custom configuration sections during you're msi installation with a custom setup action.
/// Add an evenhandler for adding a folder to the .NET assemlby search path.
/// This function is called when the .NET runtime searches for an assemlby to load and can't find that assembly in the current search path.
/// The current search path includes "bin folder application", the global assemlby cache, system32 folder etc.
/// This function adds a folder to the current search path at runtime.
/// An assembly can be a dll or exe, the ResolveEventArgs argument does not cotain this information.
/// The code will first check if a dll exist in the given folder, if found it loads the dll.
/// If the dll is not found, the code checks if an executable exists in the given folder, if found it loads the exe.
// Convert the string into a byte.
This can be used to switch logica in de master page.


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Transportation and Robots
Human Body and Mind
Arabic Islamic Science
Fine Arts Centre
About Fine Arts Centre
KUWAIT ARTS FORUM
Programmes and Art Events
Experiment Spaces
Sheikh Abdullah Al Salem
The Sheikh Abdullah Al Salem Cultural Centre Academy is an educational initiative that offers educational programmes for the public. The Academy was developed to highlight the multidisciplinary nature of the Centre and enhance participant's critical thinking skills, all while fostering a culture of innovation, collaboration and creativity. This initiative aims to create a platform for a more dynamic engagement with the Kuwaiti community, in line with Kuwait's 2035 vision.
© 2018 Sheikh Abdullah Al-Salem Cultural Centre All Rights Reserved. Designed, Built and Managed by XPONIA AG
Terms & Conditions Work With Us


We dispatch customer orders immediately choosing the most suitable means of transport for the respective order. Our bike, road and rail combination gives us the flexibility we require to guarantee rapid response times and means we can offer our customers high-quality customized solutions.
We take responsibility for the goods entrusted to us. Deliveries are signed for by both the sender and recipient. Deliveries are personally supervised and can be tracked at any stage and we handle all deliveries with strict confidentiality. Our deliveries are transported in robust waterproof bags ensuring that they reach their destination in perfect condition.
We have a duty to subsequent generations to ensure that we take care of our environment by selecting the most sustainable means of transport for our deliveries. We offer our employees secure employment and competitive salaries. We provide a comprehensive training program for our employees to equip them to meet the high expectations of our customers.


text:
namespace base {

// Clears internal memory of an STL object.
// STL clear()/reserve(0) does not always free internal memory allocated
// This function uses swap/destructor to ensure the internal memory is freed.
template<class T>
void STLClearObject(T* obj) {
  T tmp;
  tmp.swap(*obj);
  // Sometimes "T tmp" allocates objects with memory (arena implementation?).
  // Hence using additional reserve(0) even if it doesn't always work.
  obj->reserve(0);
}

// For a range within a container of pointers, calls delete (non-array version)
// on these pointers.
// NOTE: for these three functions, we could just implement a DeleteObject
// functor and then call for_each() on the range and functor, but this
// requires us to pull in all of algorithm.h, which seems expensive.
// For hash_[multi]set, it is important that this deletes behind the iterator
// because the hash_set may call the hash function on the iterator when it is
// advanced, which could result in the hash function trying to deference a
// stale pointer.
template <class ForwardIterator>
void STLDeleteContainerPointers(ForwardIterator begin, ForwardIterator end) {
  while (begin != end) {
    ForwardIterator temp = begin;
    ++begin;
    delete *temp;
  }
}

// Counts the number of instances of val in a container.
template <typename Container, typename T>
typename std::iterator_traits<
    typename Container::const_iterator>::difference_type
STLCount(const Container& container, const T& val) {
  return std::count(container.begin(), container.end(), val);
}

// Return a mutable char* pointing to a string's internal buffer,
// which may not be null-terminated. Writing through this pointer will
// modify the string.
//
// string_as_array(&str)[i] is valid for 0 <= i < str.size() until the
// next call to a string method that invalidates iterators.
//
// As of 2006-04, there is no standard-blessed way of getting a
// mutable reference to a string's internal buffer. However, issue 530
// (http://www.open-std.org/JTC1/SC22/WG21/docs/lwg-active.html#530)
// proposes this as the method. According to Matt Austern, this should
// already work on all current implementations.
inline char* string_as_array(std::string* str) {
  // DO NOT USE const_cast<char*>(str->data())
  return str->empty() ? NULL : &*str->begin();
}

// The following functions are useful for cleaning up STL containers whose
// elements point to allocated memory.

// STLDeleteElements() deletes all the elements in an STL container and clears
// the container.  This function is suitable for use with a vector, set,
// hash_set, or any other STL container which defines sensible begin(), end(),
// and clear() methods.
//
// If container is NULL, this function is a no-op.
template <class T>
void STLDeleteElements(T* container) {
  if (!container)
    return;
  STLDeleteContainerPointers(container->begin(), container->end());
  container->clear();
}

// Given an STL container consisting of (key, value) pairs, STLDeleteValues
// deletes all the "value" components and clears the container.  Does nothing
// in the case it's given a NULL pointer.
template <class T>
void STLDeleteValues(T* container) {
  if (!container)
    return;

  auto it = container->begin();
  while (it != container->end()) {
    auto temp = it;
    ++it;
    delete temp->second;
  }

  container->clear();
}

// Test to see if a set, map, hash_set or hash_map contains a particular key.
// Returns true if the key is in the collection.
template <typename Collection, typename Key>
bool ContainsKey(const Collection& collection, const Key& key) {
  return collection.find(key) != collection.end();
}

// Test to see if a collection like a vector contains a particular value.
// Returns true if the value is in the collection.
template <typename Collection, typename Value>
bool ContainsValue(const Collection& collection, const Value& value) {
  return std::find(collection.begin(), collection.end(), value) !=
      collection.end();
}

// Returns true if the container is sorted.
template <typename Container>
bool STLIsSorted(const Container& cont) {
  // Note: Use reverse iterator on container to ensure we only require
  // value_type to implement operator<.
  return std::adjacent_find(cont.rbegin(), cont.rend(),
                            std::less<typename Container::value_type>())
      == cont.rend();
}

// Returns a new ResultType containing the difference of two sorted containers.
template <typename ResultType, typename Arg1, typename Arg2>
ResultType STLSetDifference(const Arg1& a1, const Arg2& a2) {
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a1));
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a2));
  ResultType difference;
  std::set_difference(a1.begin(), a1.end(),
                      a2.begin(), a2.end(),
                      std::inserter(difference, difference.end()));
  return difference;
}

// Returns a new ResultType containing the union of two sorted containers.
template <typename ResultType, typename Arg1, typename Arg2>
ResultType STLSetUnion(const Arg1& a1, const Arg2& a2) {
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a1));
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a2));
  ResultType result;
  std::set_union(a1.begin(), a1.end(),
                 a2.begin(), a2.end(),
                 std::inserter(result, result.end()));
  return result;
}

// Returns a new ResultType containing the intersection of two sorted
// containers.
template <typename ResultType, typename Arg1, typename Arg2>
ResultType STLSetIntersection(const Arg1& a1, const Arg2& a2) {
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a1));
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a2));
  ResultType result;
  std::set_intersection(a1.begin(), a1.end(),
                        a2.begin(), a2.end(),
                        std::inserter(result, result.end()));
  return result;
}

// Returns true if the sorted container |a1| contains all elements of the sorted
// container |a2|.
template <typename Arg1, typename Arg2>
bool STLIncludes(const Arg1& a1, const Arg2& a2) {
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a1));
  DCHECK(STLIsSorted(a2));
  return std::includes(a1.begin(), a1.end(),
                       a2.begin(), a2.end());
}

}  // namespace base

#endif  // BASE_STL_UTIL_H_

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Spinning orbits and air riders in revamped children's park
A DREAM to refurbishment an island's run-down play parks is becoming reality as the first reopens after an £80,000 makeover.
Friday, 14th August 2015, 7:06 am
Mengham play park, Hayling Island
Residents and councillors have spent more than 18 months fundraising for Play Parks for Hayling – a bid to bring all the parks into the 21st century.
Following a £79,000 upgrade Mengham Park, the first on the list, is now finished and will be officially opened tomorrow.
Councillor Yvonne Weeks, who is in charge of communities at Havant Borough Council, said: 'This is a wonderful example of what can be achieved by local active community groups.
'The good work of all involved is to be applauded, as the outcome has greatly improved play facilities for everyone.'
Development of the new play area, in St Andrew's Road, Eastoke, has involved installing modern and traditional play equipment aimed for children of all ages.
The state-of-the-art adventure playground facilities include an aerial runway, spinning orbit, board and air riders, a climbing activity net, as well as swings and slides.
The renovation of the play area has been designed with bright, colourful features making it an enjoyable and fun place to visit.
Local donations, business donations, grants and sponsorship all helped to reach the £80,000 target.
Among those to have given grants are Veolia Environmental Trust, Southern Co-operative and Paris to Hayling Bike Ride participants.
There will be a celebration from 11am tomorrow which everyone is invited to.
Councillor Leah Turner, Mayor of Havant, will be the guest of honour.
Cllr Turner was one of the founders of Play Parks for Hayling, along with PC Debbie Surridge and Councillor Andy Lenaghan.
She said: 'I am looking forward to welcoming people of all ages to this marvellous new fun-filled play area at the reopening.'
Organisers will now turn their attention to other play parks – so donations are still needed.
To make a donation go to playparksforhayling.co.uk.


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Previous Page »
Archive for the 'Check This Out' Category
The Risk of Choosing The Mindset of Infertility
October 24, 2014 | By: Liz
I'm back (after a blogging break) and I'm mad. Very mad. I am mad at doctors, mad at the media, mad at the reproductive community, mad, mad, mad! Why am I mad you ask?
It took me awhile to figure it out, which makes me even . . . madder! Okay I know that's not a real word but you get my point . . . I think it's been building up inside me for . . . oh about 15 years. Because 15 years ago (give or take a few years) I was officially LABELLED as INFERTILE. It is not a nice label. It is not a label anyone ever wants. And yet there it is. A LABEL in my medical chart.
It's like having a huge tattoo on my forehead that screams to doctors and the world:
INFERTILE: WILL NEED HIGH-TECH EXPENSIVE MEDICAL TREATMENT TO EVER HAVE A CHANCE TO CONCEIVE AND CARRY A CHILD.
This is a label which makes your doctor look at you differently. A label which makes YOU look at YOU differently. A label which makes you look at your partner differently, and makes your partner look at you differently.
The LABEL stuck with me for over 15 years. And indeed, after years of IVF those labels became so convincing to everyone, and I mean everyone, that no one believed there was any hope for me. It was like getting put into a closed box which doctors didn't even want to try to open.
I listened to doctors, and nurses, and even friends, as they recounted the statistical UNlikelihood that I would conceive and carry a baby, as the statistics of the likelihood of what I wanted more than anything, became smaller and smaller, and smaller. I let them convince me it was impossible.
The list of reasons they gave me was huge. Insurmountably huge. And so I believed them when they told me I wouldn't conceive. I believed them when they gave me diagnosis after diagnosis. I didn't question their opinions or their conclusions. I didn't challenge my own belief in the power of my mind, the power of my body, the power of ME!
I BOUGHT IT ALL HOOK LINE AND SINKER!
And that's why I am mad.
I let them compartmentalize me.
I let them put me in a box with a label and give up on me.
I let ME give up on ME.
Today there are countless ways to build a family. IUI, IVF, IVF with donor egg, IVF with donor sperm, IVF with egg and sperm donor, embryo donation, gestational surrogacy (with any of the aforementioned IVF combinations), traditional surrogacy, domestic newborn adoption, foster-care adoption, international adoption; and there are more options than what I have mentioned. It is a colorful and beautiful world filled with reproductive and family building options. I live and breathe it every day as I help others move toward their dream of building a family. But I couldn't see any of it for myself. All I could see was that tattoo staring back at me in my bathroom mirror every morning.
I read when magazines and newspapers attributed the label to countless celebrities, the media's whispered words of shame and failure . . . [insert celebrity name here] can't get pregnant] . . . she's INFERTILE. But I didn't believe it for them. I believed they would (or will) prove the label was wrong. Prove the media was wrong. I believed that others could defy that label which defined me.
God I hate that word. I hate the feelings it brings out in me. Feelings of failure, sadness, desperation, and now anger. But I am not angry that I am infertile. I am angry that I gave up on myself. But then something happened. Something that wasn't supposed to happen . . . not to me, not to someone with all those LABELS. Something extraordinary happened that caused me to challenge my doctors' assumptions, that caused me to look at the LABEL tattooed on my forehead and ask:
IS IT REALLY TRUE?
AM I REALLY INFERTILE?
And then I realized it isn't impossible. Nothing is impossible. In fact everything is POSSIBLE. And with that realization my entire world changed. My longheld beliefs about myself and my infertility CHANGED. Everything I feel and believe about what I have lived through for well over 15 years, what I tell my clients, how I look at the community and industry in which I work, has shifted. I suffered for over 15 years for no reason. There was always hope. I just wouldn't let myself see it. But I see it now. I see HOPE everywhere, for everyone, even for ME. No one really knows who is infertile. Not even your doctor. Nothing anyone tells you has to be true. Not unless you believe it's true.
My point is this:
Do NOT let your doctor get you down.
Do NOT let your doctor dismiss you.
Do NOT buy into the label(s).
Do NOT believe statistics.
PLEASE DO NOT BELIEVE STATISTICS.
I have finally realized that everything and anything is possible. Because it is.
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
It will happen to you in the perfect time, and in the perfect way. But you do not have to suffer while you wait. Do not do what I did. Do not buy into the labels. Do not give up or give in.
Instead of choosing the mindset of infertility, choose the mindset of belief. Choose the mindset of knowing that your time will come. Accept, believe, and KNOW that everything and anything . . . and I mean ANYTHING . . . is POSSIBLE.
Because it IS.
And I know this because after 15 years of living with the label, and living with the tattoo on my forehead, something happened which proved everyone wrong about everything. I now know that
I AM NOT INFERTILE
My body is
and so is
YOURS!
Filed under: adoption, Age and Infertility, Deadly Silence, Egg Donation, Faith and Infertility, Gestational Carrier, infertility in the media, Infertility In The Movies etc., Infertility on Television, IVF, Peace to Parenthood, Personal Musings, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss, Surrogacy, The Infertility Survival Handbook, The Journey to Parenthood, Thinking Out Loud, Third-Party Assisted Reproduction, Treatment, Uncategorized, visualization
Tags: diagnosis of infertility, hope and infertility
When Judge's Get it Wrong When Endeavoring to Get it Right. Second-parent adoption blog part 2
February 3, 2014 | By: Liz
I promised a more human blog on this new case from Brooklyn. Here goes:
By now most people are aware of the groundbreaking, landmark decision in the case of United States v. Windsor, a case which determined that same-sex marriages must be recognized under federal law, thereby overturning part of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), and leading to the passage of many state laws embracing same sex marriage or otherwise altering state's views on same-sex marriage. One important fact about Windsor that many people have overlooked is that Windsor did not apply to section 2 of DOMA, which permits states to ignore or fail to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states. Thus while the Federal Government must now recognize the marriage of two men or two women in the State of New York, Windsor did nothing to change the rights of other states to ignore same-sex marriages entered into in New York. Insofar as a state could ignore or choose not to recognize such a marriage, that state also could choose not to recognize the legitimacy of children born during the course of that marriage.
Because Section 2 of DOMA remains good law, attorneys typically recommend to their clients who are same-sex families that the non-genetic or non-gestational parent should enter into a second-parent adoption in order to ensure that his/her parental rights are recognized in hostile states (states that don't like same-sex marriages). The hypothetical I typically provide to my clients upon discussing whether and to what extent they might deem it appropriate to take the additional step of entering into a second-parent adoption to secure their parental rights in other states, is one involving a medical crisis. And because I used to be a drama major (and perhaps still am in many respects), I have created a lovely little soap-opera-like legal hypothetical to help make my point: Let's say that Jane and Jan, who are married under the laws of the State of New York, have a child, Jack, who is genetically related to Jane. Jane also is Jack's birth or gestational mother, but Jan has no genetic or gestational connection to Jack. Jan is Jack's mother because –like all couples who have a child together — she intended to conceive him with Jane, and was married to Jane when Jack was born. Because NY law is so favorable to same-sex couples, both Jane and Jan are listed on baby Jack's birth certificate. New York basically says that it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is, if you are married at the time a child is born, both married partners have equal rights to the child born during the marriage, and both parents names shall be placed on that child's birth certificate. This is wonderful law and I am proud to be a New Yorker because of its stance with respect to marriage equality. However, just because NY lets Jane and Jan put Jan's, the non-genetic parent's, name on baby Jack's birth certificate, doesn't necessarily protect Jan in a state which doesn't respect marriage equality. In my horrific hypothetical soap opera-like drama, I ask Jane and Jan to consider what happens to them if they get into a car accident in a state that is unfriendly to same-sex marriage.
Imagine that Jane is on life support and unable to communicate, and little Jack is critically injured and needs surgery (hey I said I am the queen of drama). The hospital however, refuses to recognize Jan as Jack's parent, refuses to recognize Jane's and Jan's marriage, and Jan is in a time-sensitive situation in which she needs to make a medical decision to save her son's life but is being precluded from so doing because the state in which this accident took place doesn't recognize any aspect of Jan's relationship to Jack or Jane. This sadly isn't me being melodramatic, this is a reality that Jane and Jan could be facing. But let's let this little soap opera sit for a moment and get back to my discussion of DOMA, Windsor, and this recent case decided in Surrogate's Court located in King's County (Brooklyn), New York, which case on the one hand reinforces the beauty of the laws of the State of New York but simultaneously sets legal precedent protecting same-sex marriages on its head. Many attorneys are deeply concerned about the ramifications of this case should it not be overturned on appeal or otherwise reversed.
As noted, notwithstanding Windsor, Section 2 of DOMA is still valid law, and permits states to refuse to recognize same-sex parental rights even where a parent's name is listed on a child's birth certificate. Thus, up until this new case from the Brooklyn Surrogate's Court, in light of Section 2 of DOMA and the variety of state laws as they apply to same-sex marriages, most attorneys (including yours truly) would have advised Jan to enter into a second-parent adoption and obtain a court order or other judgment establishing her to be Jack's legal parent. Under the Full Faith and Credit provision of the United State's Constitution, that "Order of Adoption" must be recognized everywhere and Jan could use that Order to ensure she has the ability to make that medical decision for little Jack in our soap opera. The second-parent adoption proceeding and the recognition afforded to that Order of Adoption gives Jan and our little soap opera a happy ending (assuming everyone recovers from the horrific hypothetical car accident).
However, this recent decision from the court in Brooklyn, In the Matter of Seb C-M (NYLJ 1202640083455, Surr. Ct. King's County Jan. 6, 2014), recently held that a woman in Jan's position is precluded from entering into that second-parent adoption because her name already is on Jack's birth certificate and she was married to Jack's birth/biological mother at the time he was born. Under New York law, says this Judge, Jan is Jack's mom and there is no need for Jan to take any steps to ensure that her rights as Jack's mother are recognized in other jurisdictions, even those that don't recognize same-sex marriage. This opinion thus denies Jan, and women and men in Jan's position, the ability to obtain the one document that most legal practitioners feel would protect Jan's ability to exercise parental rights in our nightmare soap opera hypothetical. You guessed it, an Order of Adoption stemming from a second-parent adoption.
Why did the Judge decide this? Well in part because she's right. Under New York law, Jan is Jack's parent and no further steps are needed in New York for her rights as a parent to be recognized. Marriage decrees and birth certificates are enough under the eyes and laws of the State of New York that nothing more need be done to enforce the rights of this family. They are a family. Period. Nothing more need be said. Valid marriage + valid birth certificate = family regardless of your sexual orientation. That is, in and of itself, a wonderful statement and recognition of how far New York has come in recognizing marriage equality and the rights of same-sex parents. However, as well-intended as this Judge was, and while her legal argument is correct with respect to the laws of the State of New York, the decision totally ignores the impact of Section 2 of DOMA, and ignores well-settled case law regarding the Full Faith and Credit provision mentioned above. In holding that Jan cannot enter in a second-parent adoption because she already is legally a mother, the decision potentially eviscerates Jan's parental rights and those of other same-sex parents when they are outside the borders of New York. While I applaud this Judge for upholding the laws of the State of New York, it is somewhat arrogant to assume the laws of New York are so superior to the laws of other states that, in the face of a well-recognized danger presented by disparity in laws as they apply to marriage equality throughout the United States, and the enforceability of a federal statute that expressly permits states to reject Jane and Jan as a married couple, New York law will always protect this couple and their child. The laws of the State of New York do not protect this family everywhere they may travel.
For the Judge in Seb C-M, a compelling fact in denying the second-parent adoption was that Jan already was on Jack's birth certificate (keeping it simple by keeping the characters in our melodrama consistent, the people in the case of course have different names). The Judge seemed to feel the birth certificate and presumptions surrounding birth certificates are sufficiently strong to carry Jan safely into other jurisdictions. This is a legal argument called "portability". Indeed, there is a relatively significant body of law that addresses the "portability" of birth certificates with respect to same-sex marriages.
In re Sebastian, 25 Misc.3d 567, 572 (Surr. Ct. N.Y. County 2009), is another case that explores the rights of same-sex parents who are married, have a child, and wish to protect the non-genetic or non-gestational parent's rights in jurisdictions which do not recognize same-sex marriage. Indeed, Sebastian sets forth a detailed analysis of the "portability" of birth certificates and of Jane's and Jan's rights as parents. The Court in Sebastian ultimately concluded that in order to protect someone like Jan, she would need to enter into a second-parent adoption as that is the only type of legal/court document that would have to be recognized in states which don't recognize same-sex marriage. Sebastian provided the necessary protection to same-sex couples which the court in Seb C-M has just taken away.
"[A]s the child of a married couple, Sebastian already has a recognized and protected child/parent relationship with both [Jane and Jan], arguably making adoption unnecessary and impermissibly duplicative. . . Unfortunately, while this is the case in New York, the same recognition and protection of [Jan]'s parental rights does not currently exist in the rest of this country, or in most other nations in the world. For this reason, the parties argue that only an order of adoption would ensure the portability of Sebastian's parentage, and further ensure that the federal government and other states would recognize [Jan] as Sebastian's legal parent. Sebastian at page 573.
The Court in Seb C-M, however, felt that the presumptions afforded birth certificates are some of the "strongest and most persuasive [presumptions] known to the law." Seb C-M at page 2. However, just because New York recognizes this presumption in favor of same sex marriages, does not mandate that presumption also be recognized in other jurisdictions. Indeed, Sebastian is clear that the laws of other states do not need to recognize that presumption: In a detailed analysis, the Court in Sebastian noted that "[a] birth certificate is . . . only prima facie evidence of parentage . . . and does not, in and of itself, confer parental rights that must be recognized elsewhere. Accordingly, although the parties here may obtain a . . . birth certificate by virtue of their marriage, that birth certificate alone, without some judicial determination of [Jan]'s parentage would provide insufficient protection of [Jan]'s parental rights." Sebastian at page 576 (emphasis added). The Court in Sebastian further explained that, under Section 2 of DOMA, a marriage contracted in New York does not need to be recognized in another state, and the legal rights flowing from that marriage, and the presumptions of parenthood from birth certificates may be ignored as well.
If this is our world, how then do same-sex couples protect their parental rights outside of New York? The Court in Sebastian was clear that "A holding by this court that [Jan] is already a legal parent . . . in this state may therefore offer insufficient protection in other states . . . just as DOMA itself precludes [recognition] based on marital status to same sex couples. Thus . . . adoption is the sole means by which their parent/child relationship and the 'rights and obligations incident thereto' can be fully protected." Sebastian at pages 575-76 (emphasis added).
"[t]he parties' argument for an adoption here is based on their desire to have a determination of parentage that will be recognized everywhere, as opposed to one that other jurisdictions may be free to disregard. Although there is no Supreme Court decision on point, federal courts that have considered the issue have held that a judicial order of adoption in one state must be afforded full faith and credit in every other state, and that there can be no "public policy" exception to that mandatory recognition . . . ."
Sebastian at page 584.
The Court in Sebastian concluded that although Sebastian's genetic mother had other potential legal avenues to establish her parental rights — avenues which are now firmly established in New York and form the foundation of the decision in Seb C-M, only an Order of Adoption would provide protection to a same-sex family outside of New York due to its entitlement to full faith and credit. Sebastian at page 587.
"And, although it is also true that an adoption should be unnecessary because Sebastian was born to parents whose marriage is legally recognized in [New York], the best interests of this child require a judgment that will ensure recognition of both [Jane] and [Jan] as his legal parents throughout the entire United States."
So we are now left with the decision in Seb C-M which has denied a parent the right to establish her relationship with her child in a manner that will be protected outside the borders of New York. This decision is at odds with the well-reasoned opinion set forth in Sebastian, which decision remains consistent with the principles and issues still presented by Section 2 of DOMA. The Judge in Seb C-M was not unsympathetic to the plight of our friend Jan, and recognized that she left Jan at risk of facing a situation where her parental rights might not be recognized. The Judge felt, however, that those rights should be addressed in the jurisdiction that denies the rights (see footnote 2 of the opinion). Rather than upholding the protective approach as set forth in Sebastian, In the Matter of Seb C-M, leaves Jan to fight with a judge over Jan's constitutional rights and marriage equality in a jurisdiction which is inherently hostile to her and her family; and she has left Jan to do this in a potentially time-sensitive situation as that set forth in our soap opera drama of a hypothetical.
While New York has come a long way in recognition of same-sex relationships and In the Matter of Seb C-M is a recognition of those advancements, the decision leaves same-sex couples at risk in other jurisdictions. New York's laws are (unfortunately) not superior to those of other states, certainly not when there is a statute like DOMA which allows another state to deny the rights New York provides to the LGBT community. While I applaud this decision in its recognition of New York's stance on same-sex marriage and recognition of same-sex families, it presents a potentially disastrous outcome by denying protections currently recognized under New York law, which protections are recognized and enforceable in other jurisdictions.
The Judge In the Matter of Seb C-M strives to make the rights of same-sex couples more enforceable, however, the ultimate outcome of the decision is to deny protections to same-sex families which are enforceable in places other than the State of New York. Is it not better to have a family that can be protected and recognized throughout the United States as provided by In re Sebastian, rather than one which can only be recognized within the State of New York as provided in In the Matter of Seb C-M? And more importantly, if Sebastian is authoritative case law, insofar as In the Matter of Seb C-M, contradicts Sebastian on so many points, is the decision In the Matter of Seb C-M not wrong as a matter of law?
Filed under: adoption, Birth Certificates, Check This Out, In the News, infertility in the media, Parentage Orders, Personal Musings, Same Sex Parenting and Reproductive Law, Thinking Out Loud, Third-Party Assisted Reproduction
Post Traumatic Infertility Stress Disorder and National Infertility Awareness Week
April 2, 2013 | By: Liz
We are rapidly approaching National Infertility Awareness Week (April 21-27); a week that is devoted to raising awareness of infertility and its impact on our lives. This is an important week, not just because we are discussing infertility on a national level, but because many of us may are faced with thoughts and memories that have long since been buried. Or have they? Many an infertile woman will understand very clearly what I mean when I refer to that which I call Post Traumatic Infertility Stress Disorder (PTIFSD). This is the part of our lives where we are periodically haunted by our infertility (IF) treatment, sometimes years after it has ended. Regardless of the outcome of our treatment, PTIFSD is signaled by a random flashback to one of any number of emotionally devastating moments during infertility treatment, a flashback that comes out of nowhere and is so vivid and acute that it catches our breath and momentarily disables us.
The first time I encountered PTIFSD was about two years after I had stopped IF treatment. One day I was holding my baby while on line in Starbucks and a woman came in bursting with news for the friends who were waiting for her: she was finally pregnant with twins and her beta was high! Upon overhearing this news (along with everyone else in Starbucks, most of whom probably had no clue what a beta is or why it was relevant) I had an immediate flashback to a time I too had learned I was pregnant, had a high beta and was probably carrying twins. My flashback delved further, rapidly scrolling through memories of the messages on my answering machine, including those from three nurses at my clinic to congratulate me and share their excitement about my pregnancy. Two of them gave me information that initially had not been shared with me, information which confirmed that I "must be" carrying twins, although that would later be confirmed by ultrasound. My brain spun with these memories and I became disoriented. It was only when the child in my arms, my child, grabbed my hair to get my attention that I snapped out of my seemingly trance-like state. I forgot where I was in time. I forgot I had a child. All I could remember were those happy moments of learning that I finally had a healthy pregnancy under way and the devastation that followed approximately 9 weeks later when I learned that I had to undergo yet another D&C and that my dreams were once again, dead.
While some of us do emerge emotionally unscathed from infertility treatment, many of us carry battle scars that last a lifetime. There is a cruel side of infertility treatment that people don't often talk about and it involves the emotional scars we are left with, sometimes years after our treatment has ended and we are supposed to have "made peace" with our family building. Not many people will acknowledge that they still have bad days, get jealous or angry (sometimes very angry) over something small and seemingly benign but nevertheless powerful enough to cause a shock wave of traumatic and painful memories from our days undergoing infertility treatment to overtake us and send us into a tailspin, the likes of which we haven't felt since. . . well since our days of infertility treatment. It has been a long time since I had a PTIFSD encounter but sadly, I had one recently and it was no easier to tolerate than was the Starbucks encounter I described above. And what struck me most was that while I understood that my infertility might still be fresh in my mind less than two years after my husband and I walked away from our IVF Clinic, I didn't expect those same memories to carry with them the same ferocity so many years later. I mean, it has been over ten (10) years since I underwent an IVF cycle. Certainly time must have tempered my feelings, yes?
Apparently the answer was a resounding "no". I was checking my email one morning when I received a surprise baby-on-the-way announcement from one of my childhood friends. She and I not only went to kindergarten together but we went through infertility treatment together. Despite having similar diagnoses, she went on to achieving several successful pregnancies via egg donation. I was so happy for her that I knitted a little sweater for her first born. What I experienced upon opening her email a few weeks ago, however, was hideously painful and I was left depressed, lethargic, moody and frightened. My friend had gotten pregnant by accident, in other words, without medical assistance. Indeed, much to everyone's stupefaction, despite her age and many infertility diagnoses, she is experiencing a very healthy twin pregnancy. As I sat there reading her email I was happy for her, but at the same time I was overcome by memories of us holding hands while waiting to have our blood drawn in the morning, and the time she called in tears because she finally had to face the fact that she needed to use donor egg if she wanted to achieve a pregnancy (or so everyone thought at the time). And as I relived those memories (emphasis on the word relive) and read her email again I suddenly was overcome by anger and jealousy that I was not the one sending out the email. Out of nowhere I was overcome with a jealous rage that bordered on hate. Hatred for someone I have loved since I was so small a person? Yes, if I am truly honest I have to admit that I felt inklings of hatred for her. For the next day or so I had mood swings and bit people's heads-off for no reason. It was only when I finally told my husband what I had received in that email that the feelings became less intense. Somehow by acknowledging my feelings I was finally able to begin to move away from this non-stop video memory spinning inside my head. Somehow this email had me caught in a perpetual mental loop of painful and devastating memories from my IF. As the memories subsided, I remembered a conversation with a therapist I had seen during and after my IVF days. During one of my sessions, she commented that what I was experiencing seemed a lot like post traumatic stress disorder; and so she and I created a new diagnosis, Post Traumatic Infertility Stress Disorder or PTIFSD.
I now have learned how to recognize and embrace the PTIFSD memories and use them to remind me of the joy that surrounds me. I hope my PTIFSD is now truly at rest in my past. But it's okay if it is not. Because I know where these feelings come from, and that they will go away. These feelings do not control me, nor does my infertility continue to define me, instead it is the genesis of my growth as a human being, a woman, and a mother.
I recently had dinner with an infertility doctor. He asked me why I wrote The Infertility Survival Handbook and whether it had been cathartic. I told him why I wrote it – to let other women know they were not alone – but I also acknowledged that writing it wasn't the least bit cathartic. My healing process is one that continues. Perhaps writing The Infertility Survival Handbook was my way of starting the healing process but I would be lying if I said I was finished with it.
The Infertility Survival Handbook was released during National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) in 2004. Today as we approach NIAW, I am thinking of all of the women (and men) who are currently struggling to have a baby. Now on its' ninth (yes 9th!! Woot! Woot!) printing and as I contemplate writing an updated version, I think of all those women who have read my book and have emailed me, messaged me on facebook, or even called me (on a private number at home at 6am); women, who like me, struggle with the emotions that linger even after they have become mothers. PTIFSD is not yet in any diagnostic manuals, but I wish it were. I had two wonderful therapists who helped validate the emotions I was experiencing both during my treatment and well after it ended; therapists who believe in PTIFSD and its power. Not everyone has people in their lives like my therapist who invented PTIFSD, or someone that understands and "gets it". And it is for those women I write this blog.
No you are not alone. Being unable to conceive a child when you so desperately want one, is painful. You are entitled to express that pain. You should not be shushed or told to "just relax" so you can get pregnant. And yes, that pain can stay in your heart and mind and hide there waiting to jump out and catch you off guard. That too is normal and you are entitled to express that pain as well. You should not be shushed or told "it's over now just forget about it".
You are not crazy. Infertility is a part of your life regardless of the ultimate outcome. It is an experience that shapes you and has the power to disfigure you – to change who you are – if you let it. If you think you might have "Post Traumatic Infertility Stress Disorder", talk to someone. Get those feelings out. Give your feelings a name. Sometimes just by having a name, a reason, or a diagnosis gives you closure and helps you move past the feelings and you experience a sense of relief that allows you to let go. I may not be like my childhood/IF buddy who is on the verge of delivering twins. But I also am no longer be at the mercy of my memories. By being reminded that my reactions and feelings when confronted with things that trigger painful memories has a name, PTIFSD, I have been able to regain my balance. Or perhaps it is simply the understanding that, like anyone who goes through a very traumatic experience, I am bound to (at some point) relive that trauma, which has enabled me to begin to heal on a new, even deeper level.
Infertility awareness requires not only an understanding and recognition of the disease itself but of what that disease can do to us. So if all the media coverage regarding infertility in the coming days (of which I hope there is a lot), finds you feeling a little more blue (or red) than normal, a little bit more withdrawn or melancholy, remind yourself that this media coverage is triggering some old buried memories, just as that woman in Starbucks and my friend's email caused me to become momentarily blinded by sadness, grief, and anger. It is okay that our infertility causes some of us to experience things and feel emotions long after we thought they were over. That can be a part of infertility too, PTIFSD; and it too deserves some recognition during NIAW.
The point of NIAW is to help us recognize that we should not suffer in silence, that we should band together and make people aware that infertility is a disease. What I wanted to share with you, and make people aware of is not just the medical diagnoses, but the sometimes unbearable emotional pain we feel. We also should not be forced to suffer the emotional pain in silence.
Filed under: Check This Out, Deadly Silence, Egg Donation, In the News, infertility in the media, Infertility on Television, IVF, Personal Musings, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss, The Infertility Survival Handbook, Thinking Out Loud
Tags: emotional impact, infertility, IVF, miscarriage, NIAW, Peace to Parenthood, success, The Infertility Survival Handbook


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Tributes for Jeff Gordon's final races range from paint scheme to renaming Phoenix to Jeff Gordon Raceway
By Dustin LongJun 12, 2015, 9:50 AM EDT
The tributes to Jeff Gordon continue as he nears the end of his NASCAR Sprint Cup career.
Images of the car Jeff Gordon will drive in his final NASCAR Sprint Cup race are on the website of Lionel Racing, the official die-cast of NASCAR.
Phoenix International Raceway announced Friday that the track will be renamed Jeff Gordon Raceway for the Nov. 15 race there. The Arizona Republic first reported the change to the track, which will host the penultimate race in Gordon's Sprint Cup career.
Phoenix International Raceway also will release a series of five individual trading cards featuring Gordon's image and key moments throughout his 24-year career there. A limited number of each card will be randomly distributed to ticket holders both with their ticket mailing and at the gates each day during the Quicken Loans Race for Heroes 500 race weekend.
The track also will present 24 Moments of Greatness on its social media channels highlighting some of the track's and fans' favorite moments with Jeff Gordon.
Gordon announced before the season that this would be his final full-time season in Cup. Chase Elliott will take over the No. 24 car next season.
Until then, tributes will continue for Gordon as he nears his final Cup race, which will be in the Nov. 22 season finale at Homestead-Miami Speedway.
The redesigned paint scheme revealed on Lionel Racing's site for that race shows flames on the car and a message on the quarter panels that states "It's Been A GREAT Ride!"
Gordon said Friday that a retro rainbow paint scheme for his car for the second half of the season is being "talked about a lot" but nothing is confirmed yet.


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ConsumerSearch.com reviews the reviews of smoke detectors, as well as hundreds of other products. The site identifies which products reviewers like and dislike, where they agree or disagree, and why.
U.S. Dept. of Energy explains what the energy saving labels mean for major energy appliances.
A fascinating look inside a bathroom scale!
Hair dryers are incredibly popular home appliances -- many of us use one every day. Have you ever wondered precisely how the air gets so hot? Find out what�??s going on inside a hair dryer.
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Howstuffworks "Why are my power bills so high? Which appliances use the most power?"
I was wondering about the UL marks you see on electrical devices. I've seen them on everything from Christmas lights to the most sophisticated camcorders.
Hands on tests and reviews of As Seen on TV gadgets.
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Brief reviews of several different kitchen appliances, how they work, and why to have them.


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Glaucoma: What Are the Latest Treatments?
by Tim Gower
Glaucoma is the second leading treatable cause of blindness in the United States. Like other chronic disorders, the eye disease often requires long-term medication.
The most common form, open-angle glaucoma, develops when the clear, watery liquid (called aqueous humor) that circulates through the front part of the eye can't adequately drain because the structurethough which it flows out becomes partially blocked. As a result, the pressure in the eye (known as intraocular pressure, or IOP) rises, which can damage the optic nerve and lead to blindness.
Lowering IOP can protect the optic nerve and help preserve vision. Prescription eyedrops that reduce IOP are usually the first choice of therapy for newly diagnosed glaucoma patients. These solutions work by improving drainage of aqueous humor from the eye or slowing down fluid production.
Fortunately, the array of treatments to lower IOP is growing. The recent approval of two novel drugs and broader use of some surgical techniques give people with glaucoma more treatment options. In 2017, the FDA approved the first new classes of glaucoma medications since the 1990s.
Latanoprostene bunod eyedrops
The first new drug, latanoprostene bunod (Vyzulta), is a once-daily eyedrop that's nearly identical to latanoprost (Xalatan, Xelpros, generic), which has been around for more than 20 years. Both drugs contain a prostaglandin-like substance. They belong to the most frequently used class of glaucoma drugs, which work by improving the drainage of aqueous humor.
Unlike latanoprost, however, latanoprostene bunod is a dual-action drug—it also reduces IOP by promoting the release of nitric oxide, a molecule that appears to improve aqueous humor drainage by a different mechanism.
The FDA approved latanoprostene bunod based on the results of two clinical trials. In the trials, the new drug lowered IOP slightly more than latanoprost and timolol (Timoptic, Betimol), a beta blocker commonly used to treat glaucoma.
Latanoprostene bunod carries a risk for eye redness and irritation and an increase in iris pigmentation. The drug also promotes eyelash growth, which may be more noticeable when only one eye is treated.
Netarsudil eyedrops
The FDA also approved netarsudil (Rhopressa), the first in a new class of drugs called rho kinase inhibitors. These once-daily eyedrops appear to lower IOP by reducing aqueous humor production andincreasing fluid drainage. A study published in the February 2018 issue of American Journal of Ophthalmology found that netarsudil lowered IOP as effectively as timolol, but only in patients who started with an IOP of 25 mm Hg (millimeters of mercury) or less. Normal pressure ranges between 12 mm Hg and 20 mm Hg.
In clinical trials, about half of users experienced eye redness. Other side effects include whorl-shaped deposits on the cornea and burst blood vessels under the thin membrane that covers the white of the eye.
Unfortunately, neither new drug is yet covered by Medicare. However, it's worth checking your Medicare Part D's formulary—the list of drugs your plan covers—to see whether either drug is added in2019. Both drugs are expensive if you pay out of pocket: One 2.5 ml (milliliters) eyedropper of netarsudil costs upward of $230 for about a 25-day supply, and a 5 ml eyedropper of latanoprostene bunod costsmore than $360 for about a 50-day suppl
Glaucoma surgery: in wider use
While most glaucoma patients use eyedrops, laser therapy, which increases the drainage of fluid in the eye, is a reasonable option for some, suggests the American Academy of Ophthalmology. Such patients include those who may miss or skip drug doses because they have memory problems, have difficulty applying the drops, or can't tolerate drugs.
IOP can also be reduced using a surgical procedure known as trabeculectomy, though it's usually only offered when pressure isn't lowered with drug or laser therapy.In addition, doctors are increasingly recommending a surgical implant early in the course of glaucoma that in the past was mainly reserved for hard-to-treat cases. An aqueous shunt is a tiny flexible tube that a surgeon inserts near the front of the eye. The shunt takes in aqueous humor, which drains out near the back of the eyeball, allowing the fluid to be absorbed by surrounding tissues.
A variety of aqueous shunts are available, though there's too little comparison data to say which is most effective, according to an analysis published in 2017 by the Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews. The study authors also concluded that research is not sufficient to assess whether aqueous shunts lower IOP better than trabeculectomy; the review didn't compare shunts to laser treatments.
This article first appeared in the January 2019 issue of UC Berkeley Health After 50.
Also see Common Eye Disorders Explained: Cataracts, Glaucoma, AMD.
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