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What Are Refined Carbs? | SELF
One clear example of a refined grain as a single food item is white rice—brown rice that's had the bran and germ removed. Most of the refined grains we consume, though, are in the form of flours milled from refined grains. One example of this is wheat flour, which is ground from wheat that has had the bran and germ removed. (This is the same thing as good ol' white flour, or all-purpose flour, which is just wheat flour that has been bleached.) This flour is used as a main ingredient in a number of baked goods and packaged foods like bread, muffins, crackers, pretzels, and cookies.
How refining a grain alters its nutritional value
When you consume a whole grain or whole grain flour, you're getting all of the fiber, protein, vitamins, minerals, and nutritious fats that they have to offer, per the FDA. In refined grains, the bran and germ have been removed—along with all of that inherent nutritional value. That's the main beef that nutrition experts have with refined grains. "You are missing out on the many nutrients provided by the whole grain," board-certified health and wellness coach Kim Larson, RDN, tells SELF.
The particular nutrients that are lost during the refining process depend on what whole grain you start with. In general, though, per the FDA, much of the grain's fiber and key vitamins and minerals, such as iron and the B vitamins niacin, riboflavin, and thiamin, and sometimes some protein, are removed during processing. Refined flours are then usually enriched, meaning some of those key nutrients lost during processing have been added back in, the FDA explains. But fiber isn't typically added back in, meaning most refined grains have very little fiber, if any.
Take a grain that's common in both whole and refined iterations: wheat. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture nutrient database, 100 grams of whole wheat flour contain about 71.2 grams of carbs and 10.6 grams of fiber. Refined wheat flour, on the other hand, contains a similar amount of carbs (74.6 grams), but considerably less fiber (3 grams) per 100 grams, according to the USDA. It also contains less protein—only 12 grams per 100 grams versus whole wheat flour's 15.1 grams.
For an example of how that translates into packaged foods, consider a slice of 100% whole wheat bread versus a slice of white bread (of the same size and from the same manufacturer). The whole wheat slice has 12 carbs, 2 grams of fiber, and 3 grams of protein, while a slice of the white bread has 14 carbs, 0 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein. Of course, differences of one or two grams of fiber and protein seem small, and in the grand scheme of your overall food intake, they are. But if you're consistently choosing refined grains over whole ones, you'll miss out on some pretty good chances to consume these good-for-you nutrients.
Fiber is probably the most concerning nutrient loss, Larson says, given that most Americans already aren't getting enough of it, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine. Fiber has a slew of health benefits—helping to regulate digestion, bowel movements, blood sugar levels, LDL cholesterol, and more. And while it's possible to get fiber in other foods you eat (like fruits, veggies, and nuts), whole grains are notoriously a great source of fiber that aren't to be overlooked.
How to distinguish between whole and refined grains on nutrition labels
When you're just talking grains by themselves, it's pretty simple. If you're buying a whole grain to cook with, for instance—like oats, bulgur, or rice—then the only ingredient on the package should be that whole grain. (Or it should at least be the first ingredient in the case of something like microwave popcorn that also contains oil and salt.) But what if you're buying something like bread, crackers, or some other packaged food made with grains at the grocery store and you're hoping to add more whole grains to your plate?
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Golf History, New York, Surrey, Ward
By Erika Ward Lopresti August 6, 2016 October 20, 2016 0
Alfred was the eighth of twelve children born in 1883 to Thomas James Ward, a Battersea distillery worker and builder's labourer, and Sarah Courtneidge, a coachman's daughter from Wimbledon. Alfred got his start in golf working as an assistant to James Braid at Walton Heath Golf Club in Walton-on-the-Hill, Surrey.
Continue reading"Alfred John Ward – Golf Professional – Alf comes to America"
By Erika Ward Lopresti August 3, 2016 January 24, 2017 0
Tom Hancock was an English golf professional with a long and active career in the United States. Born in Richmond, Surrey in 1885, Tom began training in his hometown with J. H. Taylor at Royal Mid-Surrey Golf Club. He then worked as an assistant to James Braid at Walton Heath, where he knew my great-grandfather Alf Ward.
Continue reading"Tom Hancock – Golf Professional"
Kavanagh, Styles
Kavanagh Family of Carrigeen and Graney, County Kildare
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 24, 2016 December 13, 2016 2
Using Griffith's Valuation, I was able to find the exact location of James Kavanagh's farm in 1854. My sister and I visited Baltinglass last month in June 2016. The very kind residents of Carrigeen showed us the location of the house, demolished in the 1960s that the Kavanaghs and Whiteheads occupied in the late 1800s and early 1900s.
Continue reading"Kavanagh Family of Carrigeen and Graney, County Kildare"
Styles Family of Baltinglass, County Wicklow
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 24, 2016 February 25, 2017 0
At the far end of the lane sit the ruins of Baltinglass Abbey. Established in 1148, the stone walls and arches are as much a part of the landscape as the hills behind it. Rising from the center of the Abbey are ruins from a later time, the tower of the former Church of Ireland parish church built in 1815, which would have been in use when the Styles family lived on Church Lane.
Continue reading"Styles Family of Baltinglass, County Wicklow"
Oxfordshire, Ward, Willoughby
Oxfordshire Wards Part II: James Ward of Aston and Cote
James Ward was born in 1771 in the hamlet of Aston and Cote, Oxfordshire. He fathered at least 16 children between 1800-1838 with two wives: Maria Willoughby (1774-1817) and Teresa Howson (1797-1850).
Continue reading"Oxfordshire Wards Part II: James Ward of Aston and Cote"
Oxfordshire Wards Part I: Thomas Ward, son of James. Which James?
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 18, 2016 July 8, 2017 0
Our 3rd great-grandfather Thomas Ward was born about 1813 near Witney, Oxfordshire, the son of James Ward, a labourer. Thomas moved to Mortlake, Surrey and married Mary Ann Maria Walters in 1838. They had 11 children. 2-3 years ago, I started looking for Thomas Ward's family of origin in Oxfordshire. This is a summary of my research so far.
Continue reading"Oxfordshire Wards Part I: Thomas Ward, son of James. Which James?"
Golf History, Indiana, Michigan, Styles, Ward
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 14, 2016 October 6, 2016 0
Young Jimmie seems to be about the most popular player on the Irvington course, for whenever he steps up to the tee with his small bag of clubs, the crowd gathers. The little chap will step up to the ball after his father, Alf Ward, who is the professional at the course, has teed it up for him, then get ready to swing. Then he will look around with a mischievous grin and say "Watch me."
Continue reading"Little Jimmie Ward"
Styles, Ward, WWII
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 10, 2016 September 4, 2016 0
The USS St. Mary's was the second ship in the center column after the flagship USS Chilton. At 18:38, the ship formation was attacked without warning by about 10 Japanese suicide bombers. One hundred and forty one men died within minutes. At 18:38: the USS Chilton, directly in front of the St. Mary's, was struck first from the starboard quarter.
Continue reading"James Joseph Ward, WWII"
Greening, Price, Surrey, Walters, Ward
Mary Ann Maria Walters, wife of Thomas Ward
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 9, 2016 July 8, 2017 0
Francis Walters was from Epsom, Surrey. He stood at 5 feet 4 inches tall, with pale skin and grey eyes. At age 18 he enlisted in the 2nd Battalion of the 12th Foot, serving in England and Ireland from 1812-1819. He he returned to Epsom where his oldest child Mary Ann Maria Walters, my 3rd great grandmother, was born in 1820.
Continue reading"Mary Ann Maria Walters, wife of Thomas Ward"
Oxfordshire, Surrey, Walters, Ward
Thomas Ward, labourer in a Candle Factory
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 9, 2016 November 6, 2016 0
Thomas and Mary's youngest son William Ward remained unmarried and joined the British Army in 1879. He frequently found himself in trouble by creating disturbances while drunk, drawing his bayonet on the escorts that removed him, threatening and offering violence to his superior officers, assaulting police constables and escaping confinement.
Continue reading"Thomas Ward, labourer in a Candle Factory"
By Erika Ward Lopresti July 3, 2016 October 19, 2016 0
They…stopped speaking Dutch in the home and did not allow the children to learn it. They were American now and that was that. Of course as those things usually go, it made my grandfather more interested in his family's history, not less.
Continue reading"Introduction."

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Code Runners has been recognized within the DesignRush's list of 25 global software companies that deliver high-quality services, increase project productivity and provide a competitive edge for partners. The ranking was also echoed by business websites like Business Insider and Yahoo Finance.
"Top-rated software development companies can create a streamlined project timeline, include the features you need for success, use the latest automation tools, and ultimately build software that will grow your brand," says DesignRush's Founder/MD, Gabriel Shaoolian.
While our recognition makes us truly proud, we would like to also thank all our customers. Without your continuous collaboration our efforts would be fruitless. We are looking forward to further improve our processes and deliver even better quality more effectively. We also remain true to our values, including user empathy, product quality and on-time delivery. Technology remains a tool, while providing added business value – our common goal.
We further realize that brands partner with a leading software development company, fully expecting to gain access to a team of experts who are well-versed in developing software customized to their industry and needs. We are committed to offer solutions that would bring your healthcare, fintech or marketing business to the next level.
DesignRush, a NY agency directory and ranking site, assists companies in identifying the best professional full-service technology companies.


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LISTMANIA 2020: A YEAR-END LIST FROM PROFESSOR D. GROVER THE XIIITH (PART II) DGR's GRAND YEAR END ARCHIVE OF EVERYTHING HE ENJOYED IN 2020: THE YEAR THAT WAS A DECADE TOO LONG (PART 5)
SEEN AND HEARD FOR A CHRISTMAS DAY (PART 1): SCARRED, VEGAS., SERCATI, BIPOLAR ARCHITECTURE, YOTH IRIA, HESPER PAYNE
Metal News, RANDOM FUCKING MUSIC Add comments
Childhood memories tend to be fuzzy, at least around the edges. I have some vivid ones, but can't always place them in chronological order. For example, I have some very clear memories of opening Christmas presents with my brother, and the rest of my family happily watching our glee. Some of those happened on Christmas Eve, and some upon waking on Christmas Day. Having been infected by the Santa Claus myth, I assume the memories from the daybreak celebrations were the earlier ones, and the nighttime ones happened after our family figured out (rightly or wrongly) that we had wised up about the myth, but I can't be sure.
What I do know is that the nighttime gift-openings were more magical, even if they didn't square with the notion of deliveries by Santa and the reindeer while my brother and I were off in the Land of Nod. Maybe it's because the lights and ornaments on the Yule trees shown more brightly (our family wisely turned off all other lights in the room). Maybe there are other reasons why those memories are more scintillating, but if so, those reasons are… fuzzy… kind of like the gauzy light that shrouds these recollections in my mind.
Anyway, I thought I would provide you some Christmas Eve gifts yesterday — a large mountain of them — in the form of some recent songs and videos that proved scintillating to me. But we experienced some technical difficulties that shut down my ability to post this yesterday. Fortunately, our brilliant IT consultant spent part of his Christmas Eve fixing the problem (what a dude!) and so now I get to commemorate those childhood daybreak unwrappings instead of the night-time ones. Thus, this will also allow you to continue believing in Santa.
Speaking of beliefs, I think it's fair to say that most of us around this site don't find any spiritual significance in Christmas, and tend to abhor the commercialism that surrounds it, but neither can we deny that if we're lucky the day does bring some special pleasures every year, even if those pleasures may often be rooted more in nostalgia than in current-day realities, which continue to be abominable in many ways (the premature burial of 2020 isn't a gift Santa was capable of bringing).
And, we are not so churlish as to pour cold water on those of you who will spend part of the day celebrating, regardless of the reasons. Instead, we wish all of you a Merry Christmas and hope that the following music will make it merrier (which is to say, more vicious, enraged, miserable, and ugly). As you see, this is only the first Part of a two-part collection. Part 2 will arrive tomorrow.
SCARRED (Luxembourg)
To begin, I chose a video for a song called "Mirage", which I'm grateful to TheMadIsraeli for recommending. Beautifully filmed in beautiful settings in Luxembourg and France by Kim Conrardy (U-matic productions), it starts in black and white and then, like The Wizard of Oz, switches to color — just as the music transforms into something that's absolutely mesmerizing.
But long before that moment — in fact, within the opening seconds — I got well and truly hooked by a fast flickering guitar motif that darts in and out over a rumbling and battering rhythm. The song is a turbocharged thriller accented by jolting bursts and raw, howling vocals, right up until that change mentioned above, when a moody but magical melody swims above neck-cracking snare beats and heavy tremolo'd vibrations. It's hard not to fall under the spell, or to feel your heart rise into your throat as the voices return.
In addition to "Mirage" you can check out two more songs from Scarred on Bandcamp. They're all on the band's self-titled album, which will be released on January 22nd.
PRE-ORDER:
https://scarred.bandcamp.com
https://www.facebook.com/Scarredofficial
VEGAS. (?)
"Bread and Circuses" is a new single by the vastly underrated VEGAS., whom I've found can be counted on to create powerfully cathartic discharges of sound. Featuring furious howling vocals that are as raw and traumatic as a sucking chest wound (as well as strange, distorted, conversational tones), the song combines dismal dragging chords and furious bullet-spitting drumwork, rapid jolts and brutish, bone-smashing pile-drivers, and the kind of pitch-black intensity that this band always seems to deliver in ravaging fashion.
This single, by the way, should serve as a reminder to check out the other VEGAS. releases this year, of which there have been many, if you haven't already. Like this new single, they're all waiting for you at Bandcamp:
BANDCAMP:
https://vvegas.bandcamp.com/track/bread-and-circuses
https://www.facebook.com/sagevisuleNSMC/
Bread and Circuses by VEGAS.
SERCATI (Belgium)
The video for "Before the Battle" doesn't last long, but both the animation and the song make an attention-grabbing impact. In the music, this Belgian black metal band take off into a glorious, blazing spectacle — and one whose riffs and skull-rattling rhythms will get your head going. But between the savage vocals, the unexpected detonations and whooshing sounds, and the cruelty that hovers around the edges of the music, it creates a feeling of peril at the same time as it gets your blood pumping.
The music is taken from Sercati's last studio effort, 2018's Devoted, Demons and Mavericks, which was released by Wormholedeath. Credit for the animation goes to the artist Pyel, who collaborated with Sercati on the concept. It depicts long-time Sercati protagonist The Nightstalker in a fight against the Anesthetist.
https://orcd.co/d3vy5xa
https://www.facebook.com/Sercati
BIPOLAR ARCHITECTURE (Germany/Turkey)
I came upon this next song and video because YouTube served it up right after that Sercati video. It comes from the predominantly Turkish band Bipolar Architecture, whose vocalist/guitarist Sarp lives in Berlin. The group is the successor to a death metal group called Heretic Soul. Their first EP, The Tragic Protagonist, was released this past May, but this new song will appear on an album slated for release by Wormholedeath in the May/June timeframe next year,
This new song, "Dystopia is the Reality", is hard to pin down in genre terms (the band themselves refer to post-metal, blackgaze, prog, and djent). It combines mysteriously seductive arpeggios and chest-thumping beats, soaring incendiary chords and scorching harsh vocals that seem to channel pain and fury, syncopated drum rhythms and vibrant pulsating bass lines, and a bit of jarring start-stop heaviness in the song's back half that will get your head nodding beneath shimmering musical lights.
https://bipolararchitecture.bandcamp.com/track/dystopia-is-the-reality
https://www.facebook.com/bipolararchitecture/
YOTH IRIA (Greece)
Two songs are now up for streaming from a new album by the Greek band Yoth Iria, a duo consisting of Rotting Christ co-founder Jim Mutilator and Necromantia co-founder The Magus. The new album, entitled As The Flame Withers, is set for release on January 25th by Pagan Records and features cover art by Harshanand Singh.
"Yoth Iria" (the song presented below through a lyric video) begins with a beautifully exotic, lilting melody and then begins to jab and jolt, while simultaneously introducing a grand fanfare of heavy metal riffing. These ingredients return in gripping fashion as The Magus snarls and screams in demonic tones and the melody gloriously burns. Things get even more occult near the end, with the return of mysterious pinging tones over a center-stage bass performance. It strikes me as a great representation of the classic Greek black metal sound.
The other song, "The Red Crown Turns Black", is a more immediately savage and hard-driving track, but makes twists and turns, rocking hard and becoming incandescent while also introducing mysterious keyboard elements, episodes of sweeping grandeur, and moments of heartbreaking sorrow. It's such an electrifying, head-spinning song that you'd best take some deep breathes before diving in.
(Thanks to eiterorm for tipping me to these brilliant new Yoth Iria tracks.)
https://paganrecords.bandcamp.com/album/as-the-flame-withers
https://www.facebook.com/yothiriaofficial/
As The Flame Withers by YOTH IRIA
HESPER PAYNE (UK)
After those Yoth Iria tracks, the next song in this collection creates a sharp contrast. "The Cruel Teeth of Winter" is a single released a few days ago by this "Doomed Heavy Metal" band from the northeast of England.
The eloquent lyrics, which portray the awful effects of a bitter season on desperate people caught "here at the end of all warmth", are worth reading if you can't hear all of them. They're at Bandcamp, where the song is a name-your-price download. But you could probably get a sense of the music's theme even without tracing all the words.
The music crawls and huddles beneath a plague of bone-chilling cold and marches under heavy grey skies, while the vocalist intones the words in clean, dismal tones and haunting wails. The riffing builds to a pestilential boil, ethereal shimmering tones rise up over clobbering rhythms like a supernatural mist, and the vocals become more gritty and harrowing. In the song's ghostly mid-section, the music becomes even more chilling as voices whisper through those ethereal mists. In the aftermath of that, the cruel teeth come out as the guitars slither and whine in a semblance of madness and the song simultaneously begins to hammer and chug. What's left is a reprise of the song's opening movements, which somehow seem both more disturbing and more engrossing the second time through.
https://hesperpayne.bandcamp.com/track/the-cruel-teeth-of-winter
https://www.facebook.com/Hesper-Payne-158259104185256/
The Cruel Teeth of Winter by Hesper Payne
Posted by Islander at 10:47 am	Tagged with: Bipolar Architecture, Hesper Payne, Scarred, Sercati, Vegas, Yoth Iria
3 Responses to "SEEN AND HEARD FOR A CHRISTMAS DAY (PART 1): SCARRED, VEGAS., SERCATI, BIPOLAR ARCHITECTURE, YOTH IRIA, HESPER PAYNE"
Durf says:
That Scarred track was a lot of fun, but looking at that logo too long makes the room spin.
Islander says:
Are you sure it's the logo? Maybe the room is really spinning. Don't forget we're still in 2020.
That is a very real possibility. I'll be sure to check back in a week.


Ira's Deli is a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle designed by artist Joseph Burgess. A sleeping cat lies on the counter of this old-time deli. Fresh and preserved meats, freshly baked bread and all kinds of sandwiches are for sale. Available in two piece counts.
Fantastic Cakes is a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle designed by artist Joseph Burgess. Ornate wedding cakes, pies, fruit pastries, cookies, cupcakes and breads fill this old-time bakery. Available in two piece counts.
Uncle Steve's General Store is a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle designed by artist Joseph Burgess. A visit to the old time general the general store which has everything even a post office. Gas lanterns and baskets hang from the ceiling, A little girl purchases a bag of popcorn, a boy plays with the neighborhood dog, and a cat sleeps lazily on the shop's red stool. Available in two piece counts.
Book Mobile is a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle designed by artist Joseph Burgess. Books for every age are being lent out at this mobile public library. Two horses pull a large wooden canopied cart to offer books to the townspeople. Available in two piece counts.
Sweets For The Sweets is a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle designed by artist Joseph Burgess. Two little girls with their doll carriage are picking out penny candies at this confectionary. The shopkeeper measures the hard candy into a paper bag at the candy filled counter. Available in two piece counts.
Roses My Sweet is a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle designed by artist Joseph Burgess. A gentleman stops by the florist to purchase a bouquet of red roses for his loved one. The shop is filled with a colorful variety of floral arrangements, hanging plants and cut flowers. Available in two piece counts.


A West-Michigan favorite! Formerly known as 'Patchwork Band,' Calabogie Road features great instrumentals, smooth harmonies and original tunes along with traditional bluegrass favorites.
Get all the latest news on the area's Bluegrass music scene!
Beautifully crafted and wonderful sounding custom-made mandolins by Kentucky luthier Ken Ratcliff.


text:
import GridRowStatus from "./GridRowStatus";
import { Guid } from '@microsoft/sp-core-library';
export default class ListItem {
    /** The listDefinition this item came from. Need this to get to columnMappings */
    public __metadata__ListDefinitionId;
    /** The Status of  this . Need this to get to columnMappings */
    public __metadata__GridRowStatus: GridRowStatus;
    /** The Original Values of this item . Need this to revert changes */
    public __metadata__OriginalValues: ListItem;
    /** the internal ID for tthe listitem */
    public GUID: string;
    public ID: number;
    /**
     *  When a new Item is added, its status is set to new and its given a Guid.
     * wjen we save it to sharepoint we need to refresh and get the actual goid assigned by sharepoint.
     */
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    }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


This workshop helps participants to join and enjoy the world of Facebook, a fun way to stay in touch with friends and family.
This workshop introduces free articles and videos on the Internet to help you write down your dreams and achieve them.
Tips for online shopping including how to buy, where to buy from, and when not to.
This fun and easy workshop is thoroughly enjoyable.
Surf through some Lee County community and business websites.
This workshop is for people who have never even touched a computer.
Come get your free new email address!
Classes funded by USDA for the LENOWISCO Connect Blackwater project.
For more info, call Joan Minor at 445-4600.
Monday, November 22, 2010 – NO CLASS – HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEK!!
Thursday, November 25, 2010 - NO CLASS – HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEK!!
Computer and Internet training at the new Blackwater Community Computer Center during August include workshops on digital photography and e-commerce. E-commerce workshops will be offered on Mondays at 11:00AM. On Monday, August 16, 2010 at 11:00AM presenter Mikki Barker will provide an introductory workshop on e-commerce. E-commerce enables people to earn more money by using the Internet to promote or deliver their goods or services.
Mikki Barker will present an "E-Commerce 101" Internet training workshop on Monday, August 16, 2010 at 11:00AM. The workshop is the first in a series of three e-commerce training sessions to be presented by Mikki Barker in August at the Blackwater Community Computer Center. On Monday, August 23, 2010 at 11:00AM, Barker will present a workshop titled "Why Do I Need a Website?" The final workshop in the three-part e-commerce training series will be held on Monday, August 30, 2010 at 11:00AM, when Barker will present "Internet Marketing." The workshops are designed to help those who may be considering using the Internet to help promote, launch, or improve their small business products, services, or operations. Barker has served as a southwest Virginia representative for Virginia Electronic Commerce Technology Center (VECTEC) where she managed the delivery of e-commerce technologies, training, and services to small and medium-sized businesses. In addition, her many years of business experience include web development, advertising, marketing and graphic design.
The workshops are free and open to the public. No registration is required. Seating is limited to 10 computer stations. The workshops have been designed to assist beginners with limited computer experience. The Blackwater Community Computer Center offers free access to high speed broadband Internet service in its 10-station computer center six days a week.
The Blackwater Community Computer Center is open on Mondays Noon – 6:00PM, Tuesdays 2:00PM – 6:00PM, Wednesdays 1:00PM – 6:00PM, Thursdays 2:00PM – 7:00PM, Fridays 10:00AM – 6:00 PM, and Saturdays 10:00 AM – 6:00 PM. The funding for the computer center and the workshops has been provided by a grant to LENOWISCO from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) Rural Utilities Service - Community Connect grant program. For additional information about the upcoming workshops, contact Joan Minor at 445-4600.
Photos used in this post are copyright by Harold Jerrell.
Free computer and Internet workshops at the new Blackwater Community Computer Center this month include training on digital photography and e-commerce. Digital photography workshops are held on Thursdays at 7:00PM. E-commerce workshops are held on Mondays at 11:00AM. On Thursday, August 19, 2010 at 7:00PM presenter Harold Jerrell will provide a workshop about digital photography titled "How to Take Images and Create Special Effects." Harold Jerrell will present an additional digital photography workshop, titled "Turn Your Still Photos into a Movie with Music," on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 7:00PM.
Harold Jerrell's photographs have appeared in numerous publications, including Blue Ridge Country magazine and the cover of "Virginia Wildlife" magazine. His photographs are also used on several websites, including http://www.rosehillvirginia.org/ and the Cumberland Gap National Historical Park website. With the theme, "Enjoying Nature through the Eye of the Camera," Jerrell's photographs have been exhibited at the Southwest Virginia Higher Education Center in Abingdon, Virginia. Recently retired, Jerrell served as the Lee County Agricultural Extension Agent for Virginia Cooperative Extension for many years. His photographs are primarily outdoor nature scenes.
The Vardy Community Historical Society meets here at the museum (on Vardy-Blackwater Road) every 3rd Saturday of each month. Everyone is invited to come! Many local residents work together through this wonderful non-profit organization to effectively preserve and promote the Vardy-Blackwater community's intriguing history. The grounds now include the Mahala Mullins cabin. For more information about the Vardy Community Historical Society, contact W.C. "Claude" Collins, P.O. Box 112, Sneedville TN 37869, telephone (423) 733-2305. Claude is in the picture in this post. He is a decendent of Vardemon Collins. In addition to serving as Treasurer for the Vardy Community Historical Society, he also serves as a Board Member of the Melungeon Heritage Association. Both organizations have websites. Go to www.vardyhistoricalsociety.org and www.melungeon.org. I was tickled to see Mr. "Claude" Collins among the huge crowd at the Grand Opening event for the Blackwater Community Computer Center.
I got a call today from Charles A. Cox. I sure enjoyed talking with him. He is one of the organizers behind the annual Blackwater High School reunion. This photo was taken in 2008. The church across the street purchased the building and has completed significant repairs and improvements. When I took this picture, I could easily see that someone had put all new windows in the building, and that the building and grounds were well maintained. I knew somebody was taking care of that building, but I didn't know who, until Mr. Cox called today. It's the church across the street, and they host the reunions inside the old high school each year. Mr. Cox maintains the mailing list for the annual reunions. Anybody interested in getting on the mailing list to be notified of next year's Blackwater High School reunion is encouraged to contact Mr. Cox at: Charles A. Cox, Rt. 1 Box 1847, Dryden VA 24243. His telephone number is (276) 546-1390.
Glen: The plans and specs are still awaiting approval from the Health Department. The attorney just finished the paperwork on a substantial number of easements that now must be executed by individual land owners. A community meeting needs to be planned soon to bring everyone up to date. Biggest thing holding up the project now are the easements. They can be difficult to acquire sometimes. A big community meeting will help get the ball rolling.
Blackwater residents eagerly started using the computers immediately after the Grand Opening event. The Blackwater Community Computer Center is open noon-6pm on Mondays, 2pm-6pm on Tuesdays, 1pm-6pm on Wednesdays, 2pm-7pm on Thursdays, 10am-6pm on Fridays, and 10am-6pm on Saturdays. Computer and Internet training workshops are held at the Blackwater Community Computer Center on Mondays at 11AM and Thursdays at 7PM.
I am pleased to return to Lee County today to mark another major success in our effort to expand high-speed Internet services throughout Southwest Virginia.
Today, we formally launch the Blackwater community's new broadband service, a project which will make available affordable, high-speed Internet services to 90 residents and businesses. Additionally, a new public Internet access site connected to the new broadband network has been established here at the Blackwater Post Office.
More than fifteen years ago, I encouraged local governments throughout the Ninth District to find a means of deploying broadband networks so that affordable high-speed Internet access would be available to businesses and residents throughout our region. My goal in making this recommendation was to set our region apart in comparison to other rural areas of the nation, to make us more attractive than the typical rural region to industries looking to expand their operations into new locations, and to create technology-based jobs for Southwest Virginians.
Today, I am pleased to note that many of the communities in our region, and in Lee County in particular, are making great strides in the deployment of broadband networks. In January, we launched high-speed Internet services in the community of St. Charles in Lee County, last year we launched services in Ewing, and two years ago, we launched services in Rose Hill. The new broadband services that begin today in Blackwater will mark another major step forward in our efforts to ensure high speed Internet access is available to Lee County residents.
The broadband services now available in Blackwater have been established with the assistance of a grant of $759,600 provided at my urging by the U.S. Department of Agriculture through its Rural Utilities Service Community Connect broadband grant program. For the last several years, I have encouraged communities throughout our region to seek federal funds from this program, and I am pleased to report that we have secured a total of more than $2 million for the broadband services in Rose Hill, Ewing, St. Charles, and now Blackwater.
With assistance of the federal grant of $759,600 for the Blackwater community, 90 residents and businesses now have access to high-speed Internet services. In addition, the Blackwater Community Computer Center, which opens today, has been established to provide free high speed Internet access to residents at convenient times.
The Blackwater Community Computer Center includes 10 new computer workstations outfitted with the latest computer equipment. The Center provides high-speed Internet services to residents without charge six days a week. Additionally, the new Center provides free computer and Internet training workshops for those with limited computer experience on Monday mornings at 11:00 AM and on Thursday evenings at 7:00 PM.
With the benefit of the federal grant, LENOWISCO has deployed more than 18 miles of fiber optic cable from its Internet backbone over the "last mile" to the homes and businesses in Blackwater. The services just recently became available, and already sixteen homes and businesses have connected to the network.
In addition, high speed Internet services have been provided at no cost for the next two years to the Blackwater Volunteer Fire Department, and a community website for Blackwater has been established. You can visit the new community site at http://www.blackwaterva.org/.
Just as first canals, then railroads and then highways were the major arteries of commerce in earlier eras, in the 21st Century, access to broadband will be a defining feature of economic success for rural communities. Step by positive step our expanding broadband infrastructure is assuring that Southwest Virginia's communities will be at the center of economic opportunity.
I would like to take this opportunity to recognize a number of individuals without whom the success we celebrate today would not have been possible.
I want to thank Skip Skinner, Executive Director of LENOWISCO, and his excellent staff for their outstanding efforts to expand the region's infrastructure and to maintain the region's broadband networks.
I would also like to thank Paul Elswick, with Sunset Digital Communications, for his work to bring Internet services to the region.
Richard Jenkins, the Regional Field Representative for the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Rural Utilities Service, deserves our recognition today for his efforts to secure the federal grant funds necessary for the project.
I would like to thank the Virginia Tobacco Commission for providing matching funds in the amount of $125,000 to assist with the project. Delegate Terry Kilgore is the Chairman of the Commission, and I would like to thank him for his leadership and foresight in supporting our region's broadband infrastructure. I also want to thank Senator Wampler, who represents this area in the State Senate, for joining us today and for his efforts to promote broadband expansion throughout our region.
I also want to thank Kenny Osborne, Chief of the Blackwater Fire Department, for joining us today and offer him congratulations on the new broadband services. Chris Begley, another property owner in the Blackwater community is joining us today, and I would also like to thank him for his efforts.
Finally, I would like to recognize Laura Lee, my Deputy Chief of Staff, for the work she has performed for this project. I place a high priority in my office in obtaining successes much like the one we celebrate today, and Laura's work is vital to our efforts to deploy new broadband technology throughout Southwest Virginia.
The broadband services now available in Blackwater are an example of what can be achieved when citizens and government officials at the local, state and federal levels work together and cooperate in aid of a common purpose. For that cooperation and successful work in providing high speed Internet service for the Blackwater community, I want to commend all here and offer special congratulations to the residents who are receiving this service.
Members of the Wilderness Road Dulcimer Club provided entertainment as the crowd awaited the arrival of U.S. Congressman Rick Boucher.
There was an EXCELLENT turn-out for the Grand Opening event at the new Blackwater Community Computer Center on Thursday... standing room only!
Spring Heritage Day was held on Saturday, June 5, 2010 on Vardy-Blackwater Road by the Vardy Community Historical Society. This 29 second video was taken upon my arrival at the event.


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Ending Poverty Together for 50 Years
Dr. Larry Ward was struck by the pain and sadness of knowing that thousands of children die each day from hunger-related causes. His work in relief and development opened his eyes, and he knew he had to do something more. In 1971, he founded Food for the Hungry (FH) based on a simple premise, if children died one at a time, he could help them one at a time. Thus began his lifelong mission to serve the world's most vulnerable people in the hard places. Our organization's name, Food for the Hungry, was inspired by Psalm 146:7, which reads:
"He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free."
FH has been serving those who are living through unimaginable hardships for fifty years and today, FH works in more than 20 countries around the world providing life-changing resources such as clean water, medical aid, food, education, vocational training, spiritual development and hope.
Learn about our founder
Meet Larry ward
Here's a glimpse at our organization's rich history:
In 1971, Dr. Larry Ward founded Food for the Hungry and in the next decade, responded to worldwide disasters in Bangladesh, Nicaragua, West Africa, Vietnam, Guatemala and Romania. After being particularly moved by the Vietnamese refugees adrift in the South China Sea, Ward and his colleagues purchased a boat to assist them to safety.
In 1980, FH launched its long-term missionary and self-support staff program called Hunger Corps, which provided a way for dedicated individuals to work in the field. FH also established an international office in Switzerland and affiliate organizations in Japan, Canada, Korea and the United Kingdom to expand the vision and work of FH to other continents. In 1984, Dr. Larry Ward retired and appointed Ted Yamamori as his successor and President of FH.
FH launched the Christian artist program, which allowed concert-goers all across the country to intersect with the message of hope and respond through child sponsorship. FH also began helping churches and other groups organize short-term trips to developing countries, bringing an effective and sustainable model to their global missions program.
FH responded to many devastating world crises, including the September 11 attacks in New York and the Indonesia tsunami that killed more than 280,000 people. FH also responded to earthquakes in El Salvador and India, famine in Malawi, a volcano in the Democratic Republic of Congo, a typhoon in South Korea, floods in Honduras and Nicaragua, war in Iraq, and to hurricanes in the Dominican Republic, Haiti, and New Orleans. In 2003, FH mourned the passing of Dr. Larry Ward.
In a decade of unprecedented global challenges, FH responded to the needs of the 2010 Haiti earthquake that destroyed nearly 1 million homes, Typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines, and cyclones Idai and Kenneth in Mozambique. Additionally, FH served in humanitarian crises like the Rohingya refugee crisis that displaced 1.2 million people, and the Syrian refugee crisis that affected nearly 12 million Syrians. A highlight of the decade was reestablishing FH work in Vietnam in 2019. In the onslaught of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, FH pivoted to help our global communities protect themselves from the virus.


Some critics have named Jose Manuel Broto as the "colour master". To this aritst, the colour is a "vital heartbeat" that helps to bring some light on these dark moments we're living in contemporary history.
I'm interested in "Iris 2" by Jose Manuel Broto.


With one exhibit pairing a picture of a monkey with a wire cup and another exhibit merging Chinese culture with other cultures across the world, the Handwerker Gallery at Ithaca College is opening its season with many of the possibilities in printmaking.
Sophomore Jenna Jablonski had a busy day ahead of her Sept. 2. Stopping at the Campus Center dining hall for lunch to fuel the rest of her day, she loaded a plate full of calcium and protein-rich romaine lettuce, dressing and beans. But Jablonski always skips the grill — her lunches are meat-free.
Ithaca College students are being asked to roll up their sleeves and donate blood — another way to give back to the local and national community.
Last Saturday at the end of Garden Apartment 26, junior Mitchell Murdock methodically set up his tripod and 35 mm film camera to take a portrait of junior Griffin Nichols. With Cornell University and the late afternoon light on the rest of East Hill as the backdrop, Nichols stood relaxed and calm, posed but comfortable.
Before Ithaca College's newest vision, "IC2020" is finalized, President Tom Rochon's administration must be on the same page regarding task forces for the college's future.
Last year, Ithaca College missed its enrollment target by about 300 students, resulting in excess spending of $1.2 million to hire additional faculty and $3.1 million to provide additional housing. But this year, the class of 2014 is right on target.
Junior Catherine Kirchhoff puts on mascara in the morning, wears floral prints at the first sign of spring and highlights her hair every few months. But the difference between her and some girls who have a similar routine is Kirchhoff likes girls.
If a member of the baseball team has a problem, going to Head Coach George Valesente and his staff is not the only option. The other is senior pitcher and captain Tom Fishback.


At the Friends Academy of Japanese Children's Society, where young children through high school aged kids can receive Japanese language instruction, there will be a calligraphy workshop. Participants will have a chance to try "kakizome", the first shodo calligraphy of the year, and learn about the culture that has been observed in Japan for centuries.
Anyone interested in Japanese culture, from elementary school age kids to adults, is warmly invited to join.
This entry was posted on Sunday, January 22nd, 2017 at 7:00 am	and is filed under Events, Press Release, Studying. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


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Back to Local Authorities in your area
Belle Vue Square , Broughton Road , Skipton , North Yorkshire , BD23 1FJ
01756 700 600 contactus@cravendc.gov.uk Go to website
Contact Craven District Council
Notice under Article 13 of the Town &
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (Development Management Procedure) Order 2015, Section 67 & 73 of the Planning (Listed
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning
Notice effective from Thu 9 Jan 20 to Sat 8 Feb 20
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (Development Management Procedure) Order 2015, Section 67 & 73 of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Act 1990, and Regulation 5 & 5A of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Regulations 1990.
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (Development Management Procedure)
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (Development Management Procedure) Order 2015, Section 67 & 73 of the Planning
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (DevelopmentManagement Procedure) Order 2015, Section 67 & 73 of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Act 1990, and Regulation 5 & 5A of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Regulations 1990.
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (DevelopmentManagement Procedure) Order 2015, Section 67 & 73 of the Planning (Listed
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (Development Management Procedure) Order 2015, Section 67 & 73 of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Act 1990, and Regulation 5 & 5A of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Regulations 1990
Town and Country Planning (Development Management Procedure) (England) Order 2015 NOTICE UNDER ARTICLE 13 OF APPLICATION FOR PLANNING PERMISSION
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (Development Management Procedure) Order 2015, Section 67 & 73 of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Act 1990, Regulation 5 & 5A of the Planning (Listed Buildings and Conservation Areas) Regulations 1990
Notice effective from Thu 7 Nov 19 to Sat 7 Dec 19
Notice under Article 13 of the Town & Country Planning (Development
Notice effective from Thu 31 Oct 19 to Sat 30 Nov 19
Write to MP Report a problem


Seatech is one of the largest privately owned commercial diving companies in the UK, serving various sectors including Diving & Subsea, Salvage & Recovery, Ports & Harbours, Utilities Industries, Renewables and Marine Civil Engineering.
Formed in 2000 and with our Head Office based on the south coast, we have seen our business grow year on year. The key component of our success is our staff who are committed to the work we do and who have a 'can do' attitude to every project we undertake. This has seen Seatech progress and develop into one of the UK's forerunners in the industry.
With Health and Safety, Quality and Environmental Management being paramount Seatech is proud of its safety record and is fully committed to promoting an incident free workplace for both our employees and subcontractors.
Seatech is primarily renowned for its delivery of quality services to international marine organisations. We pride ourselves on delivery of complete in house commercial diving services for all aspects the marine industries needs.
John Berry, Opus International Consultants.
Development Engineer, Dover Harbour Board.
Managing Director, GPS Marine Services.
"I just wanted to write and thank you and your team for their good work on the diving inspections. We found them Professional, well organised, very helpful and easy to work with. Looking forward to working with you and your team in the future."
Mike Gelpi, Network Structures Team.
"Seatech has delivered a very professional service and would have no hesitation using them again on future projects.I believe a lot of credit should go to Stephan & Mick on this project, they have been a pleasure to work with.
To Summerize: Seatech have been extremely flexible, Proactive, Alldiving was performed in a quick and efficient manner, good communication and feedback of all dive operations and a very well organised and tidy dive team. I Look forward to working with you in the near future."
Sander Kruijt Marine Project Support - Solent Crossing, VSMC bv.
"Hi Gary, Not really had chance to catch up but thanks again to you and your team that came down to help at the Volker River Nene Portadam installation.
As usual they were very professional on site and both company teams working well together.
Please can you thank the team for a very processional job. That is why I have no issues recommending you for future work.


Why is it every time my kids have a birthday I get so emotional???? Please tell me I'm not alone in this! It is so fun to watch my kids grow into amazing people, but oh how my heart hurts to see just how fast time passes and how quickly my babes grow!
We celebrated my daughters 10th birthday last week! I may have shred a tear or two, but I mostly enjoyed celebrating her sweet life!
I throw my kids a birthday party with their friends every other year. This year happened to be the year for my daughters party. It took us a few days to come up with a theme that felt a little more "grown up" for her. Take a look at my article Fun Birthday Traditions for Small Budgets for a few other ways we celebrate birthdays.
We finally decided that a Pancake and Pajamas Birthday Party would be the perfect party for young tween girls.
I spent $2 on the invitations.
I found the cutest invites at the Dollar Tree! Seriously, how cute are these?!?! They were perfect in every way, cute enough to keep my daughter excited and cheap enough to keep me satisfied!
By using items I already had at home I was able to spend $0 (yes, zero!) on decorations for this party!
I went with the colors turquoise, pink and white. I hung a few streamers and balloons around the house, and made some tissue paper pom poms for a fun statement over the dining room table. I have an easy tutorial for my Tissue Paper Pom-Poms.
It turned out beautiful! I was so happy the way the colors all went together.
I spent $5 on the table decor/paper plates.
I bought the plates, utensils, cups, napkins and table cloth at Walmart for $.97 each.
The centerpieces were put together using items I had at home. I simply filled a mason jar with fruit loop cereal and put a flower inside. So easy! So cute! The girls loved munching on the cereal while they were waiting for the food to be ready.
By trying to use food I already had at home, I spent $10 on a few remaining items.
I cooked up a large batch of pancakes, and provided a fun array of toppings for the girls to choose from. We had nutella, strawberries, blueberries, whipped cream, maple syrup, raspberry syrup, and sprinkles (it was a birthday after all 😉 ).
I overestimated the amount of food these girls would eat. We ended up with a lot of leftovers!
I made up The Cereal Game based off of a White Elephant Game.
I bought 9 mini cereal boxes9 mini cereal boxes (1 for each girl) and made 9 slips of paper each with a number on it (1-9).
The girls sat in a circle and each picked a number. The number they drew was the order when they would be able to choose a cereal.
The first girl was able to choose from all of the cereals. The next girl had the option to choose from what was left in the middle or steal from the first girl. Play continues in the same way until all the girls have each had a turn to steal or choose from the middle. If a cereal is stolen from you, you will receive a turn to steal from another person or choose from the middle. A cereal can only be stolen twice until it is "dead," meaning it can not be stolen again.
This game ended up being a huge hit! They each loved having a mini cereal box to take home with them.
After the games we did a fun craft. I gave each of the girls a white pillow case and then using fabric markers, they were able to color and decorate it. Honestly, before the party I wasn't sure how long they would want to sit still and color, but they surprised me! They sat quietly for a good 20 minutes decorating their pillow cases. They loved this craft! This activity was the biggest expense of the party, but I decided it was well worth the money. I found the cheapest pillowcases were in bulk on Amazon.
I spent $57 on this party.
The Pancakes and Pajamas Party was such a fun party! I loved seeing all the girls show up in their darling PJs and have a "mini sleepover"!
Now, I get to enjoy my sweet girl at age ten…..and keep hoping someone invites a special potion that will make kids stop growing!


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HOMEKEY
Homekey has been the fastest, largest, most cost-effective addition of interim and permanent housing in California history. Los Angeles County has used Homekey to acquire 24 properties, mostly hotels and motels, for conversion into interim and permanent housing for people experiencing homelessness — 1,567 units total, so far.
Initially launched to protect vulnerable residents from the COVID-19 pandemic, Homekey makes grant funding from the state Department of Housing and Community Development available to cities, counties, housing authorities, tribal entities and other local public entities to acquire and then convert hotels, motels, multi-family apartments, and more, into permanent or interim housing.
The County is making the most of this unprecedented opportunity and is providing supplemental funding to renovate and operate the units.
Click here to to respond to the Homekey Round 3 Request for Statement of Qualifications (RFSQ)
HOMEKEY ROUND 3
The State of California expects to release the Homekey Round 3 Notice of Funding Availability (NOFA) in March 2023.
The County will again seek to apply jointly with co-applicants, whom it plans to select through a competitive solicitation process prior to the release of the NOFA.
For this particular round of Homekey, the County is prioritizing:
Permanent Supportive Housing (PSH) projects where residents can benefit from long-term rental subsidies and a comprehensive set of services to help them with chronic medical and/or behavioral health conditions and or/disabilities.
Maximizing applications for presumed youth set-aside funding – may be permanent or interim projects
Partnerships with cities, Councils of Government (COGs), and tribal entities
Qualified entities interested in being co-applicants with the County should respond to the Request for Statement of Qualifications (RFSQ).
Those who are identified as qualified applicants through this solicitation may have the opportunity to propose specific projects to the County and then to apply jointly with the County to Homekey Round 3. The RFSQ documents provide information on where to direct any questions.
Vendor's Conference Video
Webinar Video
In 2022, the County secured 14 hotels and multi-family apartments through Homekey 2.0.
These consist of 720 units of interim or permanent housing in Boyle Heights, Compton, East Hollywood, Inglewood, Koreatown, Redondo Beach, Lancaster, San Pedro, Westlake, Woodland Hills, and unincorporated Los Angeles.
Nine of the Homekey 2.0 properties are designated as interim housing, including 291 units for families, 69 units for youth, and 61 units for veterans, all of whom will receive support towards permanent housing solutions.
The remaining five properties, with a combined total of 299 units, are to serve as PSH.
Launched in 2020, Homekey 1.0 enabled the County to acquire 10 motels with a combined 847 units in Baldwin Park, Compton, Hacienda Heights, Harbor City, Long Beach, Norwalk, Whittier, and unincorporated Los Angeles.
Sharonda, Laura, Beverly and Halmut are just a few of the people who have stayed at Homekey 1.0 properties. Click here to get to know them.
One property immediately became PSH, but the rest started out as interim housing. The goal is that, by 2024, all will be PSH.
In the summer of 2022, the County selected qualified owners/operators to rehabilitate and/or operate the properties as PSH. In the fall of 2022, the Board of Supervisors authorized transferring ownership of the properties pending state approval. Renovations are scheduled in 2023.


Did you know that all tea leaves come from the same crop, the camellia sinensis?
It is the different processing methods that create different types of tea including black, green and white tea. There are even different processing techniques for each type of tea.
Black orthodox tea has a very vibrant and complex flavor, which makes it a favorite for many people. This tea features whole leaves as opposed to the ground CTC black tea that is typically found in tea bags. The steps to make black orthodox tea include withering, where the leaves are spread out for 14-20 hours to allow the moisture to evaporate. Rolling, which includes rotating and pressing the leaves to release their inherit chemicals and prepare for oxidation. Oxidation, in which the leaves spend 2-4 hours in a controlled environment, allowing the air to react with the chemicals and firing, which is when a furnace is used to stop oxidation and dry the leaves before they are sorted for grading.


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Filed under: Candy,Humor — missedmanners @ 8:59 pm
It's that time of year again.
Or it was that time of year again. That time when snow falls, families come together to celebrate their respective holidays and when myself and my weary friends postpone our drinking long enough to cobble together another candy creation so high in dork factor that it's almost crippling to behold. If somehow this is the first time you're seeing anything like this feel free to bone up on a little history:
The Battle of Helm's Deep
The Battle of Pelennor Fields
The Mines of Moria
Also a disclaimer: this will be, unfortunately, the last year that we will be making a candy art diorama castle sculpture thing from the source material of J.R.R. Tolkien. It is the the collective feeling of our group that we have scraped the depths of the hobbity barrel for recognizable scenes that are both large enough and sufficiently grand so as to be worthy of my tirelessly trying to convince my friends and family give up a vacation weekend to such a decidedly silly pursuit. As much as I'd love to get all Sillmarrillion all over the place, it'd be a little harder to sell.
Worry not, we're simply going to be using another, equally dorky source for next year's.
But enough prattle about plans for the future, on to the dragon!
Long before the fellowship was created, before the Deeping Wall was breached and the Hornburg was stormed, before the mighty Grond assaulted the white gates of Minas Tirith, before Gandalf faced Durin's Bane on the bridge in the depths of Khazad Dun, before any of the stories were written that would spur millions upon millions of manchildren to move to their parents' basements and spend their days creating Ravenloft campaigns for their stale milk-smelling compatriots, before all of that there was The Hobbit.
This ageless tale follows the journey of perpetual homebody, Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield and his Dwarven companions as they travel through mountains, forests, swamps and other various land types hoping to raid the treasure hoard of an ancient Dragon who'd taken control of an ancestral Dwarven hold. Long story short, they break in, steal something and piss him the fuck off.
This year we chose to make two scenes around the aforementioned mountainous lair.
Awesome. I know.
Before I get into the obviously awesome parts I'll start with the less awesome. To the left you can see the bustling village of Lake-Town which sits in the shadow of the Lonely Mountain and to the right is a gummy representation of the Battle of the Five Armies. Clearly you can tell that the Hobbit was written well before the Lord of the Rings as Tolkien's proclivity to make up ridiculous names for literally everything simply wasn't developed yet. There's a town on a lake, Lake-Town. A mountain all by itself in the middle of nowhere, that's the Lonely mountain. Five armies fight in a battle? The battle of five armies. This guy made up names for every pebble in a river bed and their entire family histories in LOTR and The Hobbit's got a scene at Lake-Town.
Again I digress. Let's take a look at Lake Town before it gets all burnt to a sugary crisp.
Magical, am I right? These people were basically just chilling in their awesomely decorated houses sandwiched between a beautiful blue lake and the greenest meadow that food coloring and frosting can make and then this hobbit and his friends come along and steal from a gigantic fire breathing dragon who takes it all out on their homes.
Which brings us to the centerpiece of this year's construction. The dragon himself, standing a whopping thirty six inches and weighing in at just under fifteen pounds of diabetic coma inducing sugar products… I give you Smaug:
If you haven't noticed, he's pissed. Beneath that leathery fruit roll-up skin and several pounds of licorice rope muscle is beating a heart that's only demand is vengeance. As he soars above the masterfully constructed mountain that houses his lair you can almost see the rage in his jellybean eyes. It's palpable. Like a Spike Lee movie.
Also in this shot you can see that over the many years that Smaug has lain on top of his treasure he has armored his soft underbelly against attack with the sweetest Jelly Belly brand gems and jewels. He's kind of like one of those weird kids that pierces odd parts of their bodies. Smaug's an emo dragon.
The prevailing winds must have been blowing in the wrong direction because by the time Smaug makes it to Lake Town, he's even more pissed. He starts huffing and puffing and blowing white hot fire down on all those candy houses. It's only right now that I realized that I should have taken a blowtorch to the village and just melted the shit out of those houses, but no, I had to settle for this:
Shabbas candles. For some inexplicable reason my family always has a completely full box of Shabbas candles in the pantry, behind the soup. What bizarre rituals are being conducted there when I am away? Animal sacrifice? Are they used in creating the soft lighting required for the teen star of a CW melodrama to lose her virginity? Whatever the answer, it cannot be weirder than my using them as faux dragon fire on mini gingerbread houses (except maybe the animal sacrifice thing, what is this, Burma?).
Remember when I said that Smaug had armored his belly against all attacks by slowly embedding gems and gold and stuff into his fleshy underside? Well apparently he missed a spot and Bilbo totally scoped it when he was in there stealing shit. But when the dragon took off to go reduce Lake Town to a smoldering crisp, Bilbo was miles (in our scale one foot) away and his iPhone wasn't getting service because AT&T has shitty coverage in Middle Earth, especially around Thranduil. He of course does the only logical thing and tells a bird to go tell someone else to shoot the dragon in the chest.
Boo yah! Right in the heart!
I've tried to use all kinds of birds to tell other people things. I actually tried to break up with this one girl by telling every pigeon I came across to fly to her apartment and break the news gently. I assumed the message got through but no, I wake up with a knife pointed at me and all my text messages inscribed in lipstick on my walls. Not cool, pigeons.
Since Bilbo had a Thrush or Sparrow or a Raven or something to rely on, his message gets through and Smaug goes down like San Francisco on Pride weekend.
There was much rejoicing (not pictured, it's hard to make candy look like it's rejoicing) until everyone and their mother within five hundred miles realizes that with the dragon dead all that treasure in that immaculately crafted and frosted mountain was now unguarded.
At first is was just a battle of three armies. Dwarves, Elves and Men, which as it turns out is a sub genre of porn. They were about to go at it in a very non-porn sort of manner when the fourth army showed up. Goblins. Lots of Goblins. Some of them even riding on big ass dogs called Wargs.
Oh the carnage! As you can see the green and red goblins are totally kicking ass at this point. The meager armies of Men, Dwarves and Elves are being slowly whittled down by the gelatinous horde. And if that wasn't bad enough, the Goblins brought giant vampire bats with them! Oh the demi-humanity.
It was at this point that Bilbo spotted the arrival of the fifth army, the Eagles (not to be confused with the entirely incapable Philadelphia variety).
And lo with the aid of the Wind Lord Gwaihir (that's one of the big eagles, not an 80's synth pop band) the armies of good triumphed and there was again much (not pictured) rejoicing.
That's our candy creation for 2009! We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed making it. So long Tolkien and thanks for all the ridiculous memories. An even bigger thanks to the following people for helping put this mess together: Sunny, Brendan, Chase, Colleen, Lis, Katie, Becca and Ben. You guys rock.
See you all next year when we'll be going back a long long time ago and visiting a galaxy far, far away!
Filed under: Candy,Humor,LOTR,Ping Pong — missedmanners @ 3:34 pm
Hello, Internet. A selection of you may have seen our candy sculptures (yes, I'm calling them sculptures now… makes it 5% less geeky and 15% more artsy fartsy) from the last two years. If you haven't, feel free to take a look, so you can get a bit of back story as to why on earth anyone would want to recreate scenes from J.R.R. Tolkien's literary masterworks, The Lord of the Rings. A short version would be, "gingerbread houses are boring."
The previous projects:
We were all very proud of how last year's project came out. Minas Tirith was certainly imagined as an awe inspiring city and our candy representation was no different. The whole project was so monumentally geektastic that I've even started bringing it up in mixed sex company, it having lost its virgin-warning-label stigma in my mind. I wonder now if there's a line where stupid shit stops being stupid and just starts being awesome. For example, lawn trash. One gutted out car on your lawn, that's stupid. But seventy four? Awesome.
This year we decided to zoom things in a bit, having already covered the two major battles of the trilogy. No more big open spaces to fly over and generously slobber with frosting. No more armies of vicious gummy bears. We instead chose to move indoors and up close.
So, without further ado, I give you, The Mines of Moria.
Unfortunately, the zoomed out version doesn't do it much justice. This is a story piece.
Oh what the hell, two more shots, but this time from angles!
If you look carefully off in the distance you can see my Dad's nigh indestructible minivan. It's got like eight hundred thousand miles on the odometer, none of the windows work, the entire back door has been gutted and must be opened by blindly reaching inside the frame and pulling a cord. Doesn't it just scream pedophile? I love to drive it around mall parking lots, point at random kids and then pretend to scribble stuff down in an imaginary pedo-book.
This image is mostly pointless excepting for the fact that my mom's rug is making its third appearance on the Internet. I believe that's Paris Hilton territory.
On to the story!
For those of you who've never read the book, please ignore the following paragraph and skip to the first picture as it will only confuse you.
Are they gone?
I wasn't really going to write anything confusing here, just wanted to see if anyone would actually ignore this paragraph. You didn't though. So what's up? How you been? Cool. Yeah? Me too… can you believe this weather? Ha ha ha, you said it, brother.
Anyway, back to the pictures.
And lo the Fellowship of the Ring had set forth from the Elven haven of Rivendell, a company of nine. The Ring bearer, Frodo, his manservant and possible halfling love machine, Samwise, two mostly pointless subcharacters, Merry and Pippen, the sexuality challenging forest Elf, Legolas, the Midget, Gimli… yes, midget, the whiny human Boromir, son of the Steward of Gondor, Aragorn and his meticulously trimmed stubble and finally the Wizard, Gandalf. I can't say many bad things about Gandalf, he's just a cool character, I got nothin'… funny hat? I dunno.
They travel through woods and mountains and stuff, but that's not important. What's important is that none of those other ways worked and they decide they to walk through this old abandoned subterranean mine/kingdom/BDSM dungeon named Moria. After spending a night in the woods killing a pack of dog monsters Michael Vick style, the party arrives at a sealed door in the side of the mountain which is locked with some sort of magic memnonic device. Gandalf gets all Sudoku on its ass, it lights up and the way forward is open.
Before he can gloat and talk about how smart he is and how he totally could have been a member of MENSA but just never got around to sending in the forms… this happens:
Holy mother of God, the Japanese are in Middle Earth and it's tentacle raep time!
This squid-like gummy bastard shoots off a long slimy leg and grabs a hold of poor old Frodo (pictured center with the resplendant white gum drop torso) continuing what has been and will be a set of shitty life experiences for the Ring Bearer throughout the entirety of the books. He's constantly getting stabbed, stung, grabbed, poked and prodded (possibly by Sam). Speaking of whom, chubster mcgee himself jumps to the rescue and stabs the slimy bejeezus out of the monster.
Which I guess only makes it more angry, I mean, look at those creepy white soulless eyes. Has jellied sugar ever scared you so much? I didn't think so. Gandalf, realizing that a fight with the creature from the blue lagoon would only get his robes dirty, drags the group inside and down a few miles of stairs.
The above picture is a brief approximation of said stairs. About twelve inches. Please notice Aragorn in the lower left, hanging back from the crowd. He's all, "I said wait up! I gotta keep the dwarf company? Oh fine, pretend you didn't hear me. Now I've got to walk half step and listen to him to recite a poem about how awesome it is living underground. Fuck you, Gandalf."
Meanwhile, Gimli's right behind and he's all sad because was totally about to recite a poem about how awesome it is to live underground. Those of you reading this from your parents' basements are feeling real close to Gimli right about now, huh?
After the Fellowship reaches the lower levels of Moria they come upon a guard room with various sugary detritus scattered about and a giant hole smack dab in the center, because if there's anything you need in an underground lair, it's invisible pits wherein you can drop to your death. You just know someone got drunk, slipped and bit it hard and at the funeral his friends were moaning, "WHY? why is that hole there? Who would put a hole in the floor in a pitch black room? Who's turn was it to change the torches?"
Also, this is the first scene where you get a close up of that banana flavored runt we used as a pony tail on Legolas. Cute, right?
While fumbling around in the dark, Pippin (top right, looking very sorry) accidentally knocks a bunch of stuff down the hole, making a cacophony of clanging noises. This of course scares the shit out of everyone and surely alerts the bajillions of orcs living in the mines to the group's presence. Gandalf shouts, "Fool of a Took!" Which is Pippin's last name, but always made me think of one of those Canadian hats, which do, in fact, make people look foolish.
Figuring they're probably going to be overrun in a few minutes with green monster types, the party decides to make camp… wait, what? Seriously? After making enough noise to wake Kirstie Alley from her impending diabetic coma, you decide to just chill out and drink Elf wine or something? Bush league.
Actually, there was a little more to it. Just outside of the guard room there are three doors and Gandalf, who's something like three thousand years old, cannot for the life of him remember which way to go. Following a power nap he gets up, goes over to the doors and says, "Hey, let's go down this right hand passage way. You know, the only one that wasn't photoshopped to cover up the fact that the people making this model completely forgot to cover a spot RIGHT in the middle with frosting… yeah, let's go up the cardboard stairs held tenuously together with hot glue, glue so hot in fact that it burned a big old blister right onto the tip of the guy who built this place's middle finger which is making it incredibly painful for him to type this all out." (cue violin)
And what stairs they are! The group travels up level after level of Sweet Tart paved passageway until reaching a great hall near the top of the mountain.
So they make camp again. Really? You're in the middle of a mountain infested with monsters and you're going to sit around a fire and let the dwarf sing you a song? Really?
Come morning time the group wakes to see light bounding down from the ceiling windows like drool out of a slow kid's mouth at a funnel cake factory. The walls of this great hall were supposed to be made of polished obsidian, but all we had was black licorice, which is the obsidian of the candy world, deal with it.
The gumdrop posse crosses to the other end of the great hall where they come upon the tomb of Balin, one of the dwarves from Tolkien's earlier book, The Hobbit. He'd come to Moria to try and smoke out all the monsters and then pimp it out MTV cribs style. Since they find his tomb and not his eighteen car garage, it's safe to assume that he failed. While they're reading a diary recounting the last days of the people who died in the room, really loud drums are heard in the deep. We're talking Chicago house, ghettotech drums.
Which brings us to our battle royale.
At first a big cave troll sticks his hand inside the room, but Frodo, looking to finally get on the scoreboard in the game of him vs. pointy objects, stabs said arm, sprays blood everywhere and sends the troll running. And yes, fanboy, I know orc blood is supposed to be black, but damnit if we didn't get happy go jacky on the frosting with that red food coloring. Just check that shit out.
Here you can see the one of only two times that Boromir makes himself useful. He's just hacking away at those poor, delicious orcs. The other time being when he stands in as a human shield/pin cushion and takes a couple dozen arrows straight to the internal organs in the next book.
Just a few feet away Gimli is finally done singing songs and he's taking bitches out like lawn divots with his battle axe. Behind him Pippin and Merry are back to back being unnecessary.
There's Legolas making some serious arrow facetime for the marauding orc forces. For someone belonging to a race continually referred to as fair and beautiful he's sure got no problem with killing. I imagine him smoking a few fools and then dropping his bow to the chamber floor like a hot mic, looking into the camera and saying, "Justin who?"
As the defenders slowly push the beasts back out of the chamber, a massive man sized orc captain springs into the room (depicted here by the green gummy bear who is not at all man sized) and spears Frodo in the chest, score yet another one for pointy objects. Samwise, who seems incapable of useful action unless his beaux is mortal danger (which leads one to think everyone would be lying to him all the time and saying that Frodo's got terminal lupus, thus granting him retard strength which they would then use to make him carry everyone's bags), and he slices the spear with his sword. Way to go.
Aragorn on the other hand brings his big man sword, Anduril, down right on top of the orc's head spraying brain everywhere, Braveheart style. Frodo is of course alright, because unbeknownst to the rest of the Ring-Crew, that isn't just a white gum drop torso, it's actually a mithril coat! Mithril is the Kevlar of Middle Earth. If we had that stuff in Iraq we'd have won the war on Terror in, like, two days.
Realizing that they'll get seriously frikkin' Balin-ed if they stick around, Gandalf compels the party to flee out the East door towards Moria's exit, which is conveniently located just a few thousand meters away (did you know that Middle Earth used the metric system? It's in the Silmarillion). He stays behind to buy them some time with a few magic spells of door shutting.
About five minutes later a breathless Gandalf comes running down the stairs looking crazy scared saying that something really REALLY evil is hot on their tails and that they should collectively run like yuppie chicks to a Jimmy Choo sample sale.
And so they do.
If they were to update The Lord of the Rings with modern day language, Gandalf would here be saying, "Run bitches! Run for yo LIVES!!" Fortunately they have to run through another great hall and this one's decked out with beautifully decorated candy columns, so the party is both frightened and visually enriched at the same time.
Running: scared to death.
Running: Visually enriched.
Once past the columned hall, our heroes arrive at the Bridge of Khazad Dum, which sounds like a Turkish prison. This narrow strip of stone expands over a vast bottomless pit. No, there is no guard rail. Can you imagine the insurance overhead this place had?
It is here that they finally see their invisible stalker that was hot on their heels, the Bane of Durin, the great evil in the Deep, a Balrog, a demon of the elder days.
Author's Note: I remember when Street Fighter II Turbo came out and one of the character's names was Balrog. I tried for weeks to play effectively as that character, who was for all intents and purposes a 32 Bit graphics rendition of Mike Tyson. I must have dropped fifty or sixty bucks in quarters before I realized that video game Balrog sucks, but Tolkien book Balrog kicks some crazy ass.
Standing several meters tall, constructed of the gummiest, sweetest flame and ash that one can buy in bulk via an online website, the Balrog advances towards the Fellowship. In one hand, a flaming sword, in the other a whip of really sticky licorice.
Boromir grabs the Horn of Gondor from his side and blows. He also sounds the horn. This is, of course, competely useless.
Only Gandalf the Grey (yes, I know I used white gum drops to make him, but you try finding tasty looking grey candy) is up to the task of fighting this Jujube abomination. He strides to the middle of the bridge and draws his sword, Glamdring. As an aside, I always thought that Glamdring sounds like an award that would be given out at a Drag Queen competition. As in, "Ms. Understood, for your lifelong achievement in testicle obfuscation you are hereby awarded this Glamdring. You better werk, bitch."
Gandalf then raises his magical lollipop staff and tells the Balrog that he ain't gettin' by, no way no how. He then proceeds to blow up the bridge underneath its feet, sending the mighty beast into the black licorice abyss. As the demon falls it flings that licorice whip skywards, ensnares the wizard ankle and drags Gandalf down into the pit.
The Fellowship is broken. There is much wailing, gnashing of teeth and wearing of sack cloth. Don't get too sad, a couple hundred pages later Tolkien employs the time honored, "Soap Opera Reincarnation Device" and brings him back even more bad ass then before and with better hair to boot.
Well boys and girls, that's all the time we have for this year's candy creation. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed making it. I'd like to thank my fellow builders, Chase, Lis, Barb and Brian for all their help with glueing, frosting, going on beer and cigarette runs, decorating and making sure the ice in my Maker's wasn't melting too quickly. And of course to my parents for letting me come home for a few days to completely destroy their kitchen.
Next year: The Sacking of Isengard (Tootsie Roll Ents, ftw).
The Builders Gallery
Filed under: Candy,Silly — missedmanners @ 11:06 am
One of my biggest regrets from last year's posting of the Battle of Helm's Deep was that we didn't have any pictures of us building the thing. This of course led to wild speculation that we're all socially retarded mongoloids sporting coke bottle glasses and greasy hair. Nothing could be further from the truth, I wear contacts.
In any event, here are a couple pictures of the construction of this year's project:
And now the key constructors:
Sunshine and Brendan, who thought they were coming up just to visit and hang out. I put them to work almost immediately.
Brian in the foreground, my big brother Jon in the back.
My little Brother, Danny, doing his best Superbad impression.
My little sister, Katie and my Mom, Barb (Who didn't help out that much, but she did let us destroy her dining room for a few days, so she's getting full credit).
My other little sister, Lis.
and finally, of course…
Me, in all my nerdtastic glory.
Filed under: Awesome,Candy,Dorky,Humor,LOTR — missedmanners @ 6:26 pm
(Two year after the fact edit: Heya Wil Wheaton! Thanks for the tweet. For the project we did last year check this out: The Mines of Moria)
(For those of you who don't remember, this is really a continuation of last year's project: The Battle of Helm's Deep )
Last year, when my brothers and I decided to make the Battle of Helm's Deep out of candy, naturally none of us thought anyone would go as nuts over it as they did. We've always just done things like that simply because they're fun. When the pictures of our little creation started getting passed around the Internet like a stewardess with daddy issues, we were both excited and nervous, what with our dork underpants showing and all. A year later, having looked back at all the comments, I'm still surprised at the overwhelming majority being so positive and light hearted. Considering the nature of the Internet, anything above four percent non-idiotic fourteen year old "OMG ur so gai" replies would have knocked my socks off.
And it did. Cheers to that.
Before we get to this year's offering however, I figured I'd remark on the most common comment from last year: "You guys have way too much time on your hands." Not really, but we certainly found the time. All told this year's project took about seven days of off and on work. I guess we're just better at turning off the TV than most. Oh, and also, if you're not using your free time to do stuff like this, what the hell else are you doing with it?
And now, without further ado:
What I Did Over THIS Christmas Break:
My brothers, sister, myself and some of our friends built a scale model of Minas Tirith during the Battle of Pelennor Fields from the novel, The Return of the King, by J.R.R. Tolkien.
(All of these images are clickable if you can't see the whole thing)
Behold, the White City of Minas Tirith is under siege by one of the largest, and certainly the tastiest army ever to walk Middle Earth. For two days the evil host, under the brutal licorice fist of the Witch King of Angmar has bombarded the ancient city with stone and fire.
Amazing how much those stones look like green marshmallows, eh? Here you can see some of the city's garrison trying to clear the south east gate of the second ring of debris. If only they had arms. Coincidentally, you can also see the exquisite craftsmanship of the ancient men of the West (which would actually be myself and my little brother Danny). Apparently there was a HUGE licorice all-sorts boom at the beginning of the Second Age.
Now as we climb the walls into the interior rings the rocky central precipice juts out over the city like a tangy ship rudder.
The streets are almost completely deserted, of course. Because war is very scary. Even for Gummy Bears. Even the meticulously paved ramps and individually placed windows are empty. I use the words meticulously and individually so that you can get an idea of just how much a pain in the ass building this was. Meticulously. Individually.
Ah, here we have the sole gardens of the city outside of the Houses of Healing. The fact that I knew these were the sole gardens in the city and that I took the time to put them in made me the focus of a bout of fifteen minutes of pointed laughter. But isn't it worth it? Don't those gardens look fucking awesome? They've got marshmallow plants, which are about thirty times cooler than real plants.
This is the Tower of Ecthelion. If a candy tower could be measured in units of pimpness, this candy tower would be off the fucking charts. And if that wasn't pimp enough, in front you can clearly see the White Tree of Gondor, which I made out of white chocolate pretzels. Give me my Nobel Prize now, thankyouverymuch.
Tolkien made a real point of mentioning how there was this "Kingly Head" statue right above the gate to the citadel. So we made a real point out of biting the head off of a Gummy Bear and sticking it there.
But enough about the city, there's a battle going on! Let's take a look:
At this point, the Riders of Rohan have already arrived and they've completely made the Orc forces their collective biotech. It's hard to see here, but they're riding on majestic Gummy Frog mounts and are doing heinous battle with the Mumakil Elephant warriors. There's a suitable amount of blood and gore as well.
Now, on this side of the battle field you can see Aragorn's forces streaming off the stolen Corsairs and doing battle with Sauron's evil sweetness. Also, you can see that the main gate of Minas Tirith has been breached by Grond, the giant battering ram, and now the men of the city are sallying forth to join in on the wholesale ass-whooping. Let's take a closer look at all of these.
First, here you can see the dead Lord of the Nazgul and his crazy bird like black licorice rope mount. He's already killed Theoden and beaten the sweet out of Merry and Eowyn. I'd say this scene is kind of sad if it weren't for the sheer awesomeness of that black dragon type thing. I mean, really.
Just like last year, the Riders of Rohan have come to the rescue. For the sake of simplicity we made all the good guys yellow and White Gummy Bears and the Bad Guys Red, Orange, Green and Black. This is in no way any kind of remark on culturally preconceived notions of morality and how it relates to skin color. Except for Green people. They are lazy thieves.
Now this kind of sucks. The Riders of Rohan, right after saving the day, AGAIN, have to fight gigantic Elephants. My older brother was in charge of this part of production, and I think we can all agree he spanked it like an underpaid dominatrix. Check those bitches out. Circus Peanut bodies on top of gum drop legs, licorice nib trunks, chocolate pretzels for the men of Harad to stand on and shoot from. How on earth could any sugar-based army stand up against such crazy power?
(PS: You can see my mom's still got a bitching rug in this picture.)
This is Grond. Yes, Tolkien named EVERYTHING even battering rams. I know you can see that it's pretty awesome just from this picture alone. However, what you can't see is that our Grond actually swings back and forth. On LICORICE ROPES. Props to my friend Brian for putting that one together.
This is the final detail shot, because it's the most bad ass. Aragorn's army is just pouring off of those stolen Corsairs like really fast molasses (which is like light speed for candy). With their arrival the tide of the battle turns and the evil, though tasty army, is destroyed to a gum drop.
Soon after a miniature gummy hobbit named Frodo succeeds in casting the One Ring Pop of Power into the molten chocolate fondue of Mount Doom and then peace, prosperity and pizelles returned to Middle Earth. Or something like that.
Hope you guys enjoy this as much as we enjoyed making it.
I'd like to thank my brothers, Dan and Jon. My little sister, Katie. My other little sister, Lis. My buddies, Brian and Brendan, and my best friend, Sunshine. Without them this would have never been made, even with our very frequent, very drunken recesses.
Happy (Belated) Holidays!
PS: I also took a video.
PPS: Digg This
The Battle of Pelennor Fields (Kid-Safe Edition)
Filed under: Awesome,Candy,Humor — missedmanners @ 10:28 am
(Due to popular request, this version is cleaned up for the kids.)
What I Did Over THIS Christmas Break:My brothers, sister, myself and some of our friends built a scale model of Minas Tirith during the Battle of Pelennor Fields from the novel, The Return of the King, by J.R.R. Tolkien.
The streets are almost completely deserted, of course. Because war is very scary. Even for Gummy Bears. Even the meticulously paved ramps and individually placed windows are empty. I use the words meticulously and individually so that you can get an idea of just how much a pain building this was. Meticulously. Individually.
Ah, here we have the sole gardens of the city outside of the Houses of Healing. The fact that I knew these were the sole gardens in the city and that I took the time to put them in made me the focus of a bout of fifteen minutes of pointed laughter. But isn't it worth it? Don't those gardens look awesome? They've got marshmallow plants, which are about thirty times cooler than real plants.
This is the Tower of Ecthelion. If a candy tower could be measured in units of pimpness, this candy tower would be off the charts. And if that wasn't awesome enough, in front you can clearly see the White Tree of Gondor, which I made out of white chocolate pretzels. Give me my Nobel Prize now, thankyouverymuch.
At this point, the Riders of Rohan have already arrived and they've completely owned the Orc forces. It's hard to see here, but they're riding on majestic Gummy Frog mounts and are doing heinous battle with the Mumakil Elephant warriors.
Now, on this side of the battle field you can see Aragorn's forces streaming off the stolen Corsairs and doing battle with Sauron's evil sweetness. Also, you can see that the main gate of Minas Tirith has been breached by Grond, the giant battering ram, and now the men of the city are sallying forth to join in on the wholesale butt-whooping. Let's take a closer look at all of these.
Now this kind of sucks. The Riders of Rohan, right after saving the day, AGAIN, have to fight gigantic Elephants. My older brother was in charge of this part of production, and I think we can all agree he knocked it out of the park. Circus Peanut bodies on top of gum drop legs, licorice nib trunks, chocolate pretzels for the men of Harad to stand on and shoot from. How on earth could any sugar-based army stand up against such crazy power?
This is the final detail shot, because it's the coolest. Aragorn's army is just pouring off of those stolen Corsairs like really fast molasses (which is like light speed for candy). With their arrival the tide of the battle turns and the evil, though tasty army, is destroyed to a gum drop.
I'd like to thank my brothers, Dan and Jon. My little sister, Katie. My other little sister, Lis. My buddies, Brian and Brendan, and my best friend, Sunshine. Without them this would have never been made.


text:
Alfredo Gutierrez on what comes after the immigration march
by E. J. Montini, columnist - May. 30, 2010 12:00 AM
The Arizona Republic
Alfredo Gutierrez has been around long enough to know that public demonstrations, no matter how large or how emotional, change nothing.
"A march is wonderful for morale," he told me. "It's a tool for mobilizing a community, for energizing people, but ultimately the hard work is what we do all summer long. We will be focusing on voter registration. That is the real struggle and the real work. I look at this as our 'freedom summer.' We are asking volunteers from all over the country to come here and help with registration. A march makes noise and lets people know that we are out there. But change is accomplished by a quiet determination."
Gutierrez was one of the prime movers behind Saturday's demonstration against Senate Bill 1070. He also is one of the organizers of a national boycott over Arizona's new law.
He is known these days mostly as a community activist, radio host and the founder of lafrontera times.com.
For years before that, however, Gutierrez was a Democratic state senator, operating at a time when those on opposite sides of the aisle didn't view the opposition as evil, only wrong. He's also been a successful lobbyist.
Gutierrez is in his mid-60s and grew up in Miami, Ariz., at a time when civil rights and migrant rights were still dreams.
"This bill, 1070, is the result of a convergence of factors, good and bad," he said. "The Obama administration walked away from reform, and there was a resurgence of young people getting involved in the struggle to improve things."
For that reason, Gutierrez considers SB 1070 an opportunity as much as a setback.
"I believe that this law has invigorated the Hispanic community like nothing I have seen in my lifetime, and I have lived a long time," he said. "What (state Sen.) Russell Pearce has done with this bill is to put everyone with brown skin in the same boat - legal, illegal, first generation, fourth generation. It paints everyone with the same brush. It has united the community."
The problem for Gutierrez is translating that enthusiasm into action, something he witnessed firsthand after a stint in the military when he enrolled at Arizona State University.
"I started registering voters in 1968," he said. "Always with the promise and the expectation that our time was coming. I never expected it to take this long."
The reason he supports a boycott is to try to keep SB 1070 from spreading to other states and to prevent the momentum generated by the law from spurring more legislation in Arizona.
"In the long run, this will blow up in Pearce's face," Gutierrez said. "With the national focus on our state and the damage to our reputation - some fair and some not - as the Mississippi of this century, that can't be good for business."
At the same time he's realistic enough to know that more legislation is coming, perhaps in the form of a bill that would deny birth certificates to children born in Arizona to non-citizens.
Pearce has talked of proposing such legislation and he's feeling emboldened by public-opinion polls showing strong support for SB 1070.
Those polls also are turning politicians who once spoke in conciliatory terms into hard-liners. One of them is Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., whom Gutierrez met decades ago when McCain first ran for Congress.
"What McCain's doing now, the pandering to get re-elected, just makes me sad," he said.
Still, as someone who has gone from the ultimate political insider to the ultimate political outsider, Gutierrez is optimistic.
"If we do the hard work, the voter registration, the voting, this trend will be reversed," he told me. "I believe that. I have to believe that."
Reach Montini at 602-444-8978 or ed.montini@arizonarepublic .com.