text:
- Stress Relief -
The Loneliness Trap
Feeling cut off from others can do more than make you sad – it can make you sick.
By Jon Spayde | July-August 2008
Being all by yourself has two very different names: solitude and loneliness. Solitude is a healthy state of self-communion in which escaping the crowd creates peace and happiness. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a condition associated with enough potential stress to damage your body.
James J. Lynch, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Baltimore and author of three books on the medical effects of loneliness, points out that while a little temporary loneliness is natural, when it becomes habitual — "a feeling of being cut off and simply unable to communicate with others," as he puts it — it's a real problem.
In his research over four decades, Lynch has seen the price the body pays for loneliness: anxiety, depression, a compromised immune system, and blood pressure spikes that bring an increased risk of hypertension and heart disease.
Stress Source
Isolation and Loneliness
Feeling deeply lonely, even in the presence of others, is recognized as a social and emotional challenge, but it can also have serious, long-term physical health effects.
Barriers to Overcome
A go-it-alone mentality. "We're the products of a culture that idolizes the self-sufficient Marlboro Man," says Lynch. "We tend to think of isolation as relatively normal."
Too much screen time. Our reliance on computers and other electronic devices tends to deprive us of the kind of face-to-face contact and conversation that's good for the soul — and the arteries.
Lack of self-awareness. We aren't always particularly cognizant of the extent of our isolation or loneliness, says Lynch, because "a lot of our emotional life is outside of our awareness. We actually have two bodies: a mechanical or hydraulic body — a body that pumps — and a communicative body, a body that's deeply affected by issues of connection and communication — or lack of communication — with others."
Prioritizing fitness over social well-being. Lynch says people who work out a lot but neglect personal relationships may actually be at greater risk for hypertension than their less well-exercised, but better-connected, peers. A fit person's heart pumps more blood with each stroke, which can mean more physical stress on arterioles constricted by the emotional stress of, say, relationship problems.
How to Cope
Listen to others. "Anything that gets you outside yourself lowers your blood pressure," says Lynch. "Talking increases your blood pressure, sometimes quite dramatically. And talking while feeling lonely (that is, talking but sensing that you are not connecting) only makes matters worse. But listening — really listening — to others can actually bring your blood pressure down to below your normal rate as it lessens feelings of isolation."
Get out into nature. A peaceful walk under the blue sky not only lowers blood pressure, it can transform feelings of loneliness into healthier feelings of peacefulness and solitude.
Adopt a pet. "In our research, we found dramatically decreased blood pressure among children when pets were in the room," says Lynch. Pet interaction has shown similar health-boosting effects in people of all ages.
Seek face time. Lynch stresses the need for face-to-face contact in an electronically mediated world. Don't allow online communities to take the place of in-person social experiences based on shared interests and hobbies. And seize every opportunity you can to take an authentic interest in others — pay attention to their experiences and perspectives. Ask about what is going on in their world.
Stress Solver
Hands That Listen
The Rosen Method uses the power of touch to reconnect you with yourself.
Feeling lonely or anxious? You might want to try a form of bodywork called the Rosen Method. A methodology based on healing and centering touch, the Rosen Method aims to create relaxation, well-being and self-awareness.
Origin: Marion Rosen (b. 1914) was working as a physical therapist when she learned about the power of human touch from Lucy Heyer, a dancer and massage therapist who belonged to the social circle of famed psychologist Carl Jung. Rosen also noted that her patients got better when she talked with them about the connection between their muscles and their emotions. By the 1970s she had developed a unique therapeutic-touch method, along with a style of movement that combined physical-therapy exercises and music.
Benefits: "Relaxation is a goal, but because the relaxation is combined with an awareness of how our bodies have 'recorded' our emotional lives, it is a more profound experience than simple relaxation," says Marjorie Huebner, a Minneapolis-based Rosen Method practitioner and teacher. "Awareness can bring change in our lives." The method's gentle, nonmanipulating, "listening" touch brings its own benefits. "It stimulates our limbic brain, the 'feeling' brain that we share with animals, and it encourages the flow of oxytocin, the hormone of connection and calming that is in some ways the opposite of adrenaline," she says. "Oxytocin is essential in bringing down our stress level, and we get it when we are listened to, looked at without judgment and touched." (See "Emotional Biochemistry" in the November/December 2003 archives.)
Simple Steps: Rosen Method bodywork is not massage, Huebner explains, but a "method of awareness." The practitioner touches the client's body in places where there is muscular tightness, inviting the client to notice the tightness and also, if he or she chooses, to talk about it.
"My touch helps you feel you," says Huebner. "A muscle can either contract or relax, and if it has contracted when it isn't doing any work like pushing or lifting, well, it's doing something else, and if you don't know what it's doing, you are going to keep that muscle tight, which might lead to chronic pain and other problems." Very often, she adds, the tight muscle is holding in an emotion that, for whatever reason, you are not able to fully feel or express.
"If you have had a great loss, say of a loved one, you will experience a lot of grief," she explains. "But you won't experience it all at once. Your body will hold on to some of it as muscle tension. Or if it was not OK in your family to express fear or anger, you might be holding that repressed emotion in the muscle." The practitioner's touch and the client's memories and understanding of his or her own emotions dance back and forth during the Rosen session.
Tresaro Chenille Bathrobe
(Chadsworth and Haig, $115)
No, it's not another human being, but when you're in need of a warm embrace and there's no one around, this snuggly, plush chenille robe comes pretty darn close. We especially love the deep front pockets you can bury your hands in and the fluffy, luxurious collar that softly envelops your neck.
The best part? Wearing the robe feels a lot like lounging around in a big permahug. Extra bonus points: It washes and dries easily, retains its shape, and lasts for years (probably part of the reason a lot of luxury spas and hotels provide these robes to their guests). Check out the more than 20 colors online at www.chadsworthandhaig.com. — STAFF
Jon Spayde Jon Spayde is a St. Paul, Minn.–based writer and editor.


Could your parking space earn you a small fortune?
Although UK house prices continue to rise, property sellers should always be on the lookout for ways to add value to their home and entice prospective buyers.
We've all heard that getting a loft conversion, building a conservatory and concentrating redecorating efforts on the kitchen are sure-fire ways to help your home sell for a handsome price, but one thing that sometimes slips through the net is just how much value having a parking space could add to your property.
Let's face it, whether you're a young professional, retiree, mother, father or student; often a car is a necessity. In the last quarter of 2015, the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders recorded that there were 26 million licensed cars in the UK; an increase of 600,000 in the last year alone.
So if you're thinking about putting your home on the market and do have off-street parking facilities, here at Tepilo we believe you should emphasise this as a key selling point.
According to research from Direct Line's Select Premier Insurance, developers of new properties are able to charge more for homes with a parking space – an additional 5% of the property's value on average.
However, dependent on location, a parking bay can cost up to an extra 13% on top of the property's value. In London locations such as Battersea, parking bays are being sold for £65,000 a piece.
If a parking space can add such an amount to the cost of these prime London properties, then it could well add a little something to the value of your home when you come to sell.
This would of course be dependent on demand for parking in your local area, because if parking bays are few and far between, then you're of course likely to generate a higher price.
London and the South-East in particular are areas where the number of cars is rapidly increasing, yet spaces to stow vehicles aren't.
Even if potential buyers viewing your home don't own a car, it's worth informing them of the benefits of owning a property with a parking space included in the price.
In many urban areas, it is becoming increasingly popular for homeowners to rent out their parking space if it's of no use to them. So if your property is within a city's commuter range and you don't use your space, you're likely to find a renter with ease.
If your property doesn't include a parking space or driveway, but you want to make your home more attractive to prospective buyers, then one popular alternative is completing a garage conversion to enhance selling potential.
Research by Nationwide unearthed that a garage conversion is likely to add a further 11% to a property's sale price, some added cash no seller would want to refuse.
If you have enough cash to splash, adding a double garage could be a particularly profitable move, as many families have more than one car these days.
Not only this, but a double garage could also pave the way for adding further rooms above, such as an additional bedroom or playroom.
Thinking a little bit outside the box – if you're really keen on adding value by having a parking space, you could pave over some of your front garden space.
Often front gardens are under-utilised, and can be difficult to maintain, so it's not uncommon for homeowners to pave part of it to make way for some off-road car space.
Although this could cost anything between £10,00 and £20,000, in an urban area where parking costs are premium, it could add something like £50,000 to the sale price of your property.
The way that the property market is currently performing, sellers in many areas of the country can sit back and reap the rewards of recent house price growth.
However, if you're a proactive seller and want to increase the value of your property even more, then thinking about parking facilities should definitely be near the top of your list.


You normally can renew a New York State Driver license or Non-Driver ID (NDID) only within 12 months or less of before the expiration date. However, you can apply for an Enhanced Drivers License (EDL) or Enhanced Non-Driver ID (ENDID) renewal earlier than normal if you current driver license or NDID.
Find answers to questions about the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative (WHTI) and New York State (NYS) Enhanced photo driver licenses (EDLs) and Enhanced non-driver photo ID cards (ENDIDs). New York State issues EDLs (this includes Enhanced photo learner permits and ENDIDs) that comply with WHTI to applicants who can prove U.S. citizenship and NYS residency.
Access helpful and required forms for the Enhanced Drivers License program.


Wire Opening Diameter: 7.5 mm, 9/32"
A button-style two-prong plug with an acorn and oak leaf embossed on the wire entrance. These plugs come with cardboard covers.
This plug easily accepts all of our wires except for the 14-gauge pulley cord. (For that cord, please use the Round Plug with Neck.) Note that if you are going to use one of our three-conductor wires, you should clip the ground wire (the green one).
Not UL listed or rated. Polarized. Color: Black.


The small town of Affi at the A22 Brenner motorway exit is within easy reach of many tourist resorts from the hinterland to the south-shores of lake Garda.
The presence of extensive modern shopping malls makes Affi a real market town, however its historic medieval centre still maintains the charm of the old peasant community.
Nearby the Monte Moscal and the surrounding hillside lend themselves perfectly to pleasant walks and bicycle rides.


Conveyors, runways and conveyors. Manufactured according to goals and wishes.
We produce a variety of standard conveyor solutions. Modular built for easy expansion.
Ask us for a solution that fits your needs.