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Paul Brunton Philosophic Foundation homepage > Notebooks of Paul Brunton > Category 11: The Negatives > Chapter 1: Their Nature
Their Nature
There is that in man which repeatedly works against his finer aspirations, which provides him with opposition. Upon this anvil his character is hammered out, shaped, and developed.
So soon as a being limits interests and welfare to its own self exclusively, so soon is it bound to come into conflict with other beings. Thus evil originates through the first being's ignorance, not through the presence of an absolute and eternal principle of evil.
Where there is total ignorance there is total self-love. From this proceed all negativity, sensuality, indulgence, and discord. Where there is total knowledge there is total turning to the eternal IS. From this proceed harmony, positivity, goodwill. Where hate and cruelty come to excess, there is denial of the divine principle and reversal of the twofold truth. Where attention and attraction are partly turned to the THAT WHICH IS, there is sharing of mind and will between good and evil.
The universal pretense of evil to be good and the occasional presence of some good in most evil create confusion or bewilderment in many minds and lead to wrong judgement in other minds. Is there any absolute way of distinguishing good from evil? The Russian Staretz Silouan, of Mount Athos, thought there was--that however good an end might seem, if the means used to attain it was bad, then it was to be rejected. It is easy for us to see that falsehood intended to lead others to act against their own welfare could be such a bad means, as also could malicious cruelty.
Not to see the world as it is, with all its depravity and malice, is to be a fool, even if one happens to be a saint as well. The philosopher, like the ordinary man, sees its actuality but, unlike the ordinary man, is not stained by it. Moreover, he sees also the goodness and aspiration and, more importantly, the divine World-Idea.
Evil is something which man encounters on his journey to Good. Evil-doing is what he expresses when still far from his destination.
It is true that evil forces do exist but not true that they exist on the highest level. Insight into the ultimate sees them not.
Evil is certainly present, plain to sight and unpleasant to experience; but it is not altogether, nor only, what it seems. It is really an appearance, and reconcilable with the benign source of good.
Why is history such a record of wars, oppressions, exploitations, invasions, and persecutions? Why have all the saviours, avatars, prophets, and saints succeeded only with individual men here and there, not with the mass of mankind? Is the religious dream of universal goodness nothing more than a dream? It is not a help but a self-deception to ignore the double polarity of existence, the yin-and-yang in the universe, the shadow-self in man. Only outside of religion, in the philosophic realm of ultimate being, the Unique, the Real, where the entire world itself is cast out, can we talk of friction-free consciousness, and only in the deepest meditation can we share it. Although the experience is a temporary one, the peace in it so passes the understanding that "the kingdom of heaven" is its fit name. Here indeed is the Good raised to its highest degree. Here is a demonstration that human evil is but privation of good.
What may be true on the ultimate level--the non-existence of evil, the reality of the Good, the True, the Beautiful--becomes false on the level of duality. Here the twofold powers, the opposites, do exist, do hold the world in their sway. To deny relative evil here is to confuse different planes of being.
The man who would deliberately harm his fellows for his own ends is a sinner.
Evil arises only when an entity goes astray into the delusions of separateness and materialism, and thence into conflict with other entities. There is no ultimate and eternal principle of evil, but there are forces of evil, unseen entities who have gone so far astray and are so powerful in themselves that they work against goodness, truth, and justice. But by their very nature such entities are doomed to eventual destruction, and even their work of opposition is utilized for good in the end and becomes the resistance against which evolution tests its own achievements, the grindstone against which it sharpens man's intelligence, the mirror in which it shows him his flaws.
The lower nature is incurably hostile to the higher one. It prefers its fleeting joys with their attendant miseries, its ugly sins with their painful consequences, because this spells life to it.
Everything and everyone has a negative side. One could fill up a lifetime looking for and finding it. One could go on grumbling, criticizing, ranting, and hating. But there is also the positive and opposite side. The philosophical attitude seeks deeper, keeps calmer, for it finds equilibrium on another plane.
The descent from faith in Holy Spirit to faith in unholy spirits happens to those who are either too weak to remain at such a high altitude or too incapable of rising from a sensate view of existence.
Evil can take every form, even that of the guru, the quest, and the learner.
Some years ago someone asked me, "What about absolute evil?" The answer is this: with Confucius we say that sin is due to ignorance, and with Pythagoras that evil is due to the absence of good. Ignorance leads to selfishness, and extreme ignorance leads to extreme selfishness, which in turn leads to extreme evil. Now, all these are relative conditions and pass away in time as the person learns his lessons through the series of experiences and corrects his mistakes during the reincarnations. There cannot be an absolute evil because there is only one Absolute Power, one God, one Supreme Being; and it is this which inspires the highest goodness known to man when he discovers its presence, through the Overself, in his heart. In that sense only I said there was an absolute good. The pairs of opposites exist only in the finite, relative, and limited world. There is no opposite to the Supreme Power in the timeless and infinite world, no Satan with whom God is in everlasting conflict. But, on its own level, Mind knows neither good nor bad. There is only IS-ness.
It seems that there is evil in the world, but why? What bad men have done is to let their evil grow like a noxious weed too large and their good too little, whereas good men have cultivated a high proportion of goodness. There is no absolute evil. It is truer to talk of absolute good for that is there first. Why? Because God is there first. Men came later and broke the divine laws little by little. They created their own evil consequences. Or for different reasons they harm others and have later to suffer for�it.
When the good is absent the evil is present. The cynic who denies the existence of the good, the dreamer who denies the existence of the evil--each ignores the other half of life as evidenced in history and in the world around him.
A cultivated man of taste and feeling can find much that is beautiful in nature and art; and if he is also a moral idealist, he will find much that is good and virtuous in human life and experience. But it would be incomplete to stop there and ignore the fact that there is also around us much that is base, dark, and even evil. The two sides put together form a complete observation. But it is only the mystics and the philosophers who can see--because it requires a deeper penetration than the intellect and the senses can give--that the dark side deals with the world of appearances, a world which is fleeting and ephemeral, whereas the good side and the beautiful side is merely a hint of that other world closer to Reality.
Evil is a very real problem in this world of time and space. Evil forces exist and must be fought with all our strength. Nevertheless the Power out of which all things and all entities come is a beneficent one. Love is its radiation. There is no evil and no pain in it. They begin only on the lower levels of separation and differentiation.
Philosophy does not agree with the doctrine that man can sink into oblivion permanently. If man's fundamental nature, however hidden it be, is essentially immaterial and of the same stuff as divinity, where can he sink back to except to that self-same divinity? The mystery of evil is perhaps the profoundest of all but it cannot be understood through surface views. Evil is closely connected with suffering and the latter in its turn with karma, which again is itself an expression of the fundamental self. It is all an educative process from which nobody can escape--not even Satan himself were there such a personal devil, which philosophy does not admit, although there are evil spirits, evil beings, and evil men. All will be saved because when seen from the timeless viewpoint they are already saved. The great mass of humanity are moving in the right direction, despite appearances to the contrary, and they shall enter the kingdom of heaven one day. Do not doubt that; the guarantee is that they are in their hidden selves already divine.
No man is beyond redemption for no man is utterly evil.
The problem of evil must be considered in the light of various factors. One of these is standpoint; one man's evil is another man's good. Another is karma; the individual has enough latitude to go to the dogs but has to suffer from the consequences of his acts. Then there is the question of rebirth. It seems impossible for human beings to be reborn as animals but Nature has made some provision for it. Then the ethical value of suffering must be considered. But most important of all are the questions of the nature of God, His relation to the universe and to humanity, and the purpose, if any, which is being worked out.
When a man commits an act of violence and destruction against other men, he is denounced and punished as a criminal. But when Nature commits such an act and maims or kills a mass of people, God is not denounced. Instead, poet and priest search for some excuse, find some hidden good intention, for God's reputation for goodness must be saved.
If the forces of evolution or laws of nature, as the expression of the World-Mind, have evoked the World-Idea and with it the possibilities of evil, we must unflinchingly accept the logical conclusion. This is that the World-Mind certainly permits the presence of Evil, allows and does not hinder its actuality. Nevertheless, we should always couple with this admission the equal and attendant truth that there is a higher outcome from the working of evil, a nobler purpose in its actuality. Through the operations of the law of recompense and the pressures of divine evolution it is transmuted into good. Evil has nowhere else to turn in the end except to turn itself into good!
To accept God as the source of this universe but to reject God as the source of those things contained in the universe which we dislike, is to deny God. Because we humans dislike evil and suffering, we separate them from God. But when we do that we separate ourselves from God.
The good and the bad are all part of the world-picture, although their proportions vary as the time-wheel turns around.
It is the function of such opposing forces, environments, or persons to compel him to negotiate them properly, or suffer the consequences.
It would be a totally unobservant or totally theoretic person who denied the presence of evil, but it would be an ill-informed one who did not perceive that its life and power are circumscribed.
I hope I shall not be misunderstood for saying that I saw clearly how the physical expression of evil is a necessary prerequisite to the spiritual redemption from evil. For what the sinner does is after all only an outcome of what he thinks. If the doing of wrong actions will, by the higher law of recompense, bring him ultimately the physical punitive consequences of those actions, they will also bring him--and again ultimately--the thought that the two are inseparably connected together. This is a step--admittedly only a first step--toward that repentance and that purification which make redemption possible.
The notion that the God-Power is engaged in a desperate struggle with an evil power, that God calls on man to give his help and that the outcome of this warfare depends to any extent on such help--this notion is a ridiculous one.
My experience of life and observation of others have taught me that there is no situation in which you will find good alone present without some concomitant evil. To look for undiluted good is utopian, unrealistic, and self-deceptive.
The awful fact of innate evil, the hideous mystery of innate sin, must be recognized and faced. We cannot make bad men into good men; but Nature, Life, with millions of years at her disposal, can.
Evil arises where the good is still undeveloped from its latency, but sometimes it is the distortion of the good.
We will understand this problem better when we understand that the presence of good and evil in the universe does not signify a division of power but a division of thought.
Thought is the cause; thought is the cure.
Satan can pretend to be an Angel of Light. There are adepts in evil who hide their real aim behind an outward show of altruistic purpose.
These secret purposes disguise themselves in a convenient form, and if no other is convenient they will even use some open purpose which stands in total opposition to them. They emerge in the most unlikely and unlooked-for places.
The evil in human relations springs from the ignorance in human beings. As each one brings the principle of truth into his own consciousness, he brings it into his relation with others as a result. The love which accompanies it denies birth to cruelty, anger, and lust or dissolves any which already exist.
Although it is perfectly true that divine goodness is at the heart of things, it is no less true that demonic evil is on the surface of things. The followers of simple cults which stubbornly try to see only the goodness and not the evil, which deny things as they are and indulge wishful thinking, have themselves and their leaders to blame when disaster awakens them to the errors in the map they are following. They would do better to arouse themselves, while there is yet time, to keep a soundly balanced attitude, neither falling over to one side or the other overmuch, yet always remembering that superphysical experience between the incarnations is disproportionately good and free from evil, by contrast with physical plane experience.
Let us not insult human reason by denying human evil.
In any universal arrangement or personal situation, there is either gross disorder, with its consequent turmoil trouble and suffering, or there is real order, with its harmonious co-operation with the divine will working outward from the divine centre--be it man's heart or the sun's rays.
The great ills (miscalled evils) of bodily life, such as disease and poverty, are often forced upon him by an implacable fate. But it would be a delusion to class them always with the great evils of mental life, such as hate and cruelty. For their control is frequently beyond his power, and their course may have to be endured, whereas sinful thoughts and their resultant deeds are not independent of his control and may be avoided.
When right principles, theories, or concepts are taken up by the wrong persons, they become wrong themselves--because misused, falsified, perverted.
Suffering is not always an evil. It is often educative. All evil is then seen to spring from separativeness, which is a stage inevitable to all creatures as they follow the line of unfoldment. Evil therefore is the adverse element in Nature. Man can conquer it in his mind by conquering separativeness and realizing the All as himself. At the same time he discovers that the whole creation is really a mental one, hence like but not the same as a dream; and if he keeps awake to the Static Reality whilst in the midst of the earthly dream, the whole world becomes merely a school for educating consciousness. Then suffering, evil, and the like are transient aspects leaving permanent results.
The wedding of heaven and earth can never be brought about, since the Perfect and the Imperfect are incompatibles. But they can be brought into some sort of equilibrium, into better balance, so that life in the world would not be as bad as it is.
Those who ignorantly believe that God needs their help to ensure his triumph over evil in this world, have yet to learn that this triumph has been eternally accomplished already. The human being who can affect this situation either by helping or hindering does not exist.
It is a disturbing concept which holds that man's goodness seldom becomes actualized without the presence of, and struggle against, man's evil.
If men engaged themselves more in asking not "What is good and what is evil?" but rather "What is the Highest Good?" the first question would get itself answered automatically and peace would then follow anyway.
When the evil in man is washed out, he will find in all its goodness the original stuff of which he is made--beneficent to all, a joy to himself.
But because we affirm that the powers of evil will destroy themselves in the end, this must not be mistaken to mean that we may all sit down in smug complacency. We ought not to make this an excuse for inaction. On the contrary, it should inspire us to stronger efforts to preserve the noblest things in life from their attack.
Burke may have over-weighted his judgement by applying it to all cases, but there is still plenty of substance in it when he declared: "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
The night's darkness shelters the evil forces, the sun's brightness tells us where the divine ones are centralized.


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Major Benjamin Stevens Jordan
at or after 1849 and at or before 11 November 1903–24 May 1918
(Person)
Also known as: Benjamin Stevens Jordan.
The History of the Canterbury Regiment, N.Z.E.F. 1914 - 1919
Otago Battalion:
Auckland War Memorial Museum
For several reasons, including lack of resource and inherent ambiguity, not all names in the NZETC are marked-up. This means that finding all references to a topic often involves searching. Search for Major Benjamin Stevens Jordan as: "Major Benjamin Stevens Jordan", "Benjamin Stevens Jordan". Additional references are often found by searching for just the main name of the topic (the surname in the case of people).
The following collections may have holdings relevant to "Major Benjamin Stevens Jordan":
Dictionary of New Zealand Biography, which has entries for many prominent New Zealanders.
Archives New Zealand, which has collections of maps, plans and posters; immigration passenger lists; and probate records.
National Library of New Zealand, which has extensive collections of published material.
Auckland War Memorial Museum, which has extensive holdings on the Auckland region and New Zealand military history.
Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa, which has strong holdings in Tāonga Māori, biological holotypes and New Zealand art.
nzhistory.net.nz, from the History Group of the Ministry for Culture and Heritage.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Last Two Sundays: Creation Days!
God created everything—the heavens and the earth.
God made everything out of nothing at all.
God created everything by his Word.
You can download lastweek's SojournKids AT HOME sheet here!
The world was all mixed up—without any shape.
God cleaned up the mess. He put the world in perfect order.
We can trust God to clean us up we are a mess with sin.
You can download this week's SojournKidsAt Home here!


Lady Alexia and Lord Maccon are moving in to Lord Akeldama's neighborhood. Their child is to be adopted by the vampire, which will cause the other vampires to give up their plan to assassinate the child.
They learn from a ghost of a plot to kill the Queen (I wondered at this point whether they meant of England or of the vampires). Alexia spends the rest of the novel waddling about in her state of advanced pregnancy, trying to find clues as to who is plotting the assassination, and how they plan to go about it.
In the midst of this, her sister shows up, claiming she has been thrown out of the house for associating with a women's suffrage organization, but it turns out she has more sneaky things on her mind. Biffy, the new werewolf in Lord Maccon's pack, is having a lot of trouble adjusting to his change, so Alexia tries to come up with some novel approaches to that problem, as well. She ends up recruiting her friend, Ivy, into her spur-of-the-moment spy organization, The Parasol Protectorate, when she needs someone to be her eyes and ears up with her husband's old pack in Scotland.
One of the truly amusing repeating bits in this novel is Lord Akeldama's ongoing terms of endearment, primarily used to refer to his friend, Alexia, but we also realize he never seems to call anyone by their actual name. One of my personal favorites was, "my little dipped biscuit". There's some good steampunk elements here when Madame LeFoux goes on a rampage in a mechanical flame-throwing octopus.
In fact, almost none of the novel deals with Alexia's baby directly, except for the very beginning and very end of the book. I suppose we'll get to find out more in the next book in the series.


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Mitchellville (Desha County)
Latitude and Longitude: 33º54'20″N 091º29'56″W
Elevation: 164 feet
Area: 0.12 square miles (2020 Census)
Population: 293 (2020 Census)
Incorporation Date: May 21, 1963
Historical Population as per the U.S. Census:
Mitchellville, a city in the Arkansas Delta that borders Dumas (Desha County), is the result of experiments in city planning. A church association acquired the land in the 1940s, divided it into lots, and sold the lots to a specific group of buyers, while also planning the placement of roads and electric service. With the highest percentage of African-American citizens of any city in Arkansas, Mitchellville is also one of the poorest cities in the state.
The rich soil of the Arkansas Delta drew investors who created plantations and grew cotton. Until the Civil War, work on the plantations was performed almost entirely by slaves. The Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution abolished slavery, but many of the former slaves and their descendants remained on the land, working as sharecroppers for the same landowners. A boom in cotton prices during World War I ended with the war, and the reduced prices for cotton in the 1920s, along with disastrous weather and continued unsettled racial relations, prompted some landowners to sell or abandon their property. Much of the land ended up in the hands of the federal government, which tried in various ways to care for Americans and to end the Depression of the 1930s.
One New Deal program, the National Youth Administration (NYA), acquired thirty-seven acres of land north of Dumas, where it established a camp for young unemployed workers. Unemployment became a smaller problem for the United States when the country entered World War II, and the NYA closed the camp in 1944. The land was purchased from the NYA by the Watson District Association, a group of twenty-nine black congregations in Desha and Lincoln counties. The association divided the land into lots, which they sold to black families, sometimes for as little as fifty dollars. Electricity was available to the new homeowners, but water, sewage systems, and paved roads were not provided. The community was named Mitchellville to honor John Mitchell, the leader of the association. The emergence of Mitchellville later inspired the creation of the community of Reed (Desha County).
Some jobs were provided in Mitchellville by the Grain Dryer Cooperative and by the Purveyor Wood Products Company, which built a mill in Mitchellville in 1957. The community incorporated as a second-class city on May 21, 1963, hoping to increase city services to its citizens. However, an effort to obtain a loan and grant from the federal government to install a water line in the city instead caused the city to fall into bankruptcy.
Civil rights leader Daisy Bates learned of the plight of Mitchellville and began working to improve the city's situation. She was helped by Bob Riley, then a professor at Ouachita Baptist University. Students under the direction of Bates and Riley conducted surveys of the city and its houses and began educating the citizens about government to helping them see what was possible for the city. A water and sewer system was established by 1970, funded by a federal grant of $46,000 and a $66,000 federal loan. Citizens applied for homeowner loans through the federal Farm Home Administration, and a federal credit union was established in Mitchellville. Bates purchased, for one dollar, a fire truck from the New York City Fire Department and then exchanged the truck with the Little Rock Fire Department to provide Mitchellville with a smaller truck, fully equipped and stocked with clothing and helmets for volunteer firefighters. A Headstart program was established in 1973, aiming to reduce illiteracy in Mitchellville, which had been measured in the 1960s at seventy-five percent.
The population of Mitchellville declined from 497 to 360 between 2000 and 2010. Some city services were discontinued, although a new city hall and some apartment buildings were constructed. One convenience store is located on Highway 65 in Mitchellville (although the business uses a Dumas address). Mitchellville is part of Dumas's school system.
Barker, Geoff. "Daisy Bates and Mitchellville: A Forgotten Part of the Legacy." Pulaski County Historical Review 59 (Winter 2011): 112–121.
"Mitchellville Sees Inevitable—It'll Let Whites Move In." Arkansas Gazette, January 2, 1967, p. 12A.
Stover, Bobby, and Lamar James. "Ouachita Students Will Aid Mitchellville." Arkansas Gazette, January 7, 1968, p. 5E.
Steven Teske
Butler Center for Arkansas Studies
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Our first money talk started with pad thai.
I was on a first dining date — our actual first date was playing shuffleboard — with a new guy named Ian. When the check came, I instinctively pulled out my wallet and offered to split it. He chased away my offer with his Visa.
I felt slightly embarrassed for my reverse chivalry. It'd just been my modus operandi for years with friends and past boyfriends. Had I overstepped a money boundary on one of our first dates?
Back in the car, Ian admitted he thought the opposite. In fact, he liked my lack of expectations.
Turns out, his ex was all about money — his money — and my simple gesture became a catalyst for future conversations about our finances.
Now we're having even bigger talks about our finances and future while also planning a wedding and honeymoon. We even signed up for our first joint credit card and are warming up to the idea of shared bank accounts.
In the beginning, I wasn't used to talking so squarely about money. To me, money talks always wore kid gloves and bore a "no trespassing" sign. My instinct was to tread lightly. Funny how that instinct got turned on its complicated head with one card flip.
Here are a few of the money talks we've had since the pad thai incident.
We didn't talk money much during our first six months of dating, but one thing was obvious: He was a saver, and I was a spender.
I learned his mom used to be an accountant, which made him predisposed to saving. Meanwhile, I haven't always been the best with money. It's taken a lot of sacrifice, commitment and wading through debt to teach myself good financial habits. Even still, I struggle.
Our spending habits came up gradually when I gleefully exclaimed that I'd paid off a credit card, or by way of a package on my doorstep from a splurge at Shein or Amazon. Surprisingly, Ian didn't scold or guilt me for spending. In fact, he agreed you have to treat yourself sometimes, or that splurge could turn into a spree.
His uncritical attitude made me feel more relaxed and less guarded about my spending habits.
Eventually, my splurging and his saving gave way to conversations about how we manage our finances… and how much we make.
We'd dated for over six months and built enough rapport to divulge in these sorts of money talks. Sure discussing salaries can be awkward, but the timing felt right.
Sidenote: If your partner makes six figures, try not to let your jaw drop or use the info to make them always pick up the tab. And if your partner makes a low wage, be understanding and create a safe, loving space for them.
I'd always paid my credit card when the due date came. Ian, on the other hand, made weekly $20-$40 payments that often added up to more than the minimum due.
"Duh, why hadn't I thought of that?" I thought. I quickly changed the way I paid off my debt and felt grateful we were talking seriously and constructively.
Within a year of dating, I took out a personal loan to pay off some debt. I told Ian about it, but I didn't ask for his input. These were my finances. He was encouraging about it and admired my financial initiative.
Are We Really Ready to Move in Together?
Knowing each other's salaries really helped when we made travel plans — and when we toyed with the idea of moving in together.
Many of our friends had moved in with their significant others within a year of dating out of convenience and financial circumstances.
We embraced our independence but enjoyed entertaining the idea from a safe distance. When the topic of our friends' follies came up, we used it as fodder to hypothesize about what we would do in that situation, including how we might split bills.
That speculation spurred more talks about the big "d" word: debt. Let's just say it's definitely easier to talk about how much you make than how much you owe.
He'd known about my loan, but not everything. I knew he had student loan debt, but not everything. It was clear that before moving in together, we needed to talk about everything.
And we did just that. Being better informed about each other's finances helped us better determine what we could afford.
By the time we finally moved in together after two years of dating, we'd already established a divide-and-conquer strategy toward bills. The internet, HBO and the Ashley Furniture credit card are now in my name, while electric, water and the Lowe's store card are in his name.
We even entertained the idea of a cleaning service, which forced us to sit down and discuss the pros and cons from money to time management. We decided that $20 each a week was worth it for both of us.
When it comes to going out, I still offer to pay sometimes — and guess what, he lets me. He finds it attractive, but he does pay for me way more than I do for him. Generally, I handle the cheapies, and he gets the fancies. Partnership.
I feel pretty confident about our progress so far, although, realistically, we still have a lifetime of complex money talks ahead of us. We have yet to buy a house, say "I do" to the other's debt, or bring kids into the equation.
I reached out to Leslie Christon, my first boss out of college, for some help navigating our uncharted financial territory.
She and her husband, Ron, probably have more financial coolness than any couple I've known. In 31 years of marriage, they've lived in four states, owned four homes, had a son and worked 10 jobs between them. They recently opened a restaurant, Chica's Taco Bar, in Clearwater, Florida. And they're still married. Can I get a "cheers" for that?
When they met, Leslie already had a house and two cars: her sports car and a work vehicle.
They didn't need each other financially. Instead, they chose to be with each other. That created a solid foundation, allowing them to build trust and pool their resources.
So that was some validation that Ian and I might just have this whole money thing right… Might. Here are some other pointers Leslie gave me about financial communication.
Leslie said she and Ron couldn't have made things work without some core values that make every endeavor easier.
"When you realize there is a permanence in your relationship and you're going to move forward together — whether it's living together, getting married or having kids — you commit not just emotionally, but you commit financially, honesty and truthfulness," she said.
She and Ron both wanted kids, so they discussed everything from medical expenses to a college fund. They even started a general savings plan for their son after he was born and used it to teach him the value of saving money by matching every dollar he put into it.
Divulging their hopes and dreams helped them avoid many conflicts and roadblocks because each knew the other's intentions and expectations every step of the way.
One of Leslie and Ron's greatest successes came by accident.
Due to conflicts with work schedules, they swapped who was responsible for paying bills. The switch gave each one perspective on how much money was coming in and going out. They now alternate the role of bill payer every couple years as a best practice.
Knowing each other's passwords and security questions facilitates this practice. Not to mention, there's never any worry about a secret credit card or savings account.
This is good because, according to Go Banking Rates, being secretive about finances is the No.1 financial deal breaker for couples in the U.S.
But it's not always peaches and cream.
"We have our spats like any couple," Leslie said.
She admits those usually happen when she goes shopping or makes a big purchase without telling Ron — even if it's for a vacation or a present for him.
When Leslie began to consider opening a restaurant, she and Ron did heaps of discussing, projecting and planning before making any big moves. They hashed out a budget and factored in every possible expense — all a year before opening Chica's Taco Bar in late 2017.
And did I mention Ron maintained his career while helping Leslie with the endeavor? Oh, and he also had to agree to rein in spending on non-necessities. Each had the other's back through the thick stacks and the income trickle.
So far, it's a success, thanks not only to their well-crafted business plan, but because of their financial forwardness over the years.
"We trust each other implicitly. I trust him financially and he trusts me financially," Leslie said.
I think back to the pad thai incident and how it shaped our healthy financial discourse.
With that, we agreed that the road to our financial future would be a two-way street, and we'd each have to pull our own weight and make it fair.
And we've been partners ever since.
Stephanie Bolling is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She plans on solving all her financial fretting by asking Ron and Leslie to adopt her and Ian by proxy. Just kidding. She just wants to fast-forward to the honeymoon.


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Cheesecake Factory Considers West Knoxville Location
Cheesecake Factory Knoxville
Cheesecake Factory Opening In Knoxville
Cheesecake Factory Opening In West Knoxville
New Businesses Coming To West Knoxville
West Knoxville and Farragut have seen many new restaurants and businesses open in recent months. And now, it seems, Cheesecake Factory many be joining the already long list of businesses and restaurants opening or adding additional location in West Knoxville and Farragut.
In early October, the Cheesecake Factory met with Simon Property Group to discuss adding a restaurant at West Town Mall, according to a recent article on the WATE website. The tentative location would be added on to the mall, near Forever 21 and Tommy Hilfiger. The application submitted to Simon Malls for the would include roughly 7,500 square feet of dining space along with a large patio.
The Cheesecake Factory is a California based restaurant famous, obviously, for its many different types of cheesecake. On its menu, there are over 70 different kinds of cheesecake and dessert choices. Besides being known for its large array of cheesecake, the restaurant is known for having a large menu. There is everything from an wide assortment of salads, appetizers, pizzas, pasta dishes, burgers and sandwiches, along with steaks and seafood. The Cheesecake Factory operates roughly 158 locations in the U.S., with only one location in the state of Tennessee located in Nashville.
The Cheesecake Factory is just one of many restaurants and businesses coming to or considering coming to West Knoxville and Farragut. The long anticipated Costco location coming to Farragut opens November 9. There have also been rumors that Bar Louie, an eclectic urban bar, would be opening a Turkey Creek location in Farragut. Bar Louie has recently opened two additional locations in Tennessee, on in Nashville and one in Chattanooga. Whole Foods has been another business that has been much anticipated. While Whole Foods will not be opening this Fall in West Knoxville, the organic food grocery store does have plans to open a West Knoxville location sometime in 2013 in Papermill Plaza, at the intersection of Kingston Pike and Papermill Drive.
What other businesses and restaurant would you like to see open in West Knoxville and Farragut?
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Celebrate NYE in Knoxville: Best Things To Do Part 2


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Morning Roundup: Avonte Maddox delivers knockout blow in return to Detroit
Chris McPherson
Tight end Dallas Goedert
Microsoft Teams Top Connection
This Dallas Goedert 15-yard reception was the end result of a trick play. Quarterback Jalen Hurts tossed the ball to running back Kenneth Gainwell in the backfield. Gainwell ran left, then turned and threw the ball back to Hurts. After making a one-handed grab, Hurts quickly threw it to a sliding Goedert for the completion. The drive ended with a Jordan Howard touchdown to make it 17-0 in the second quarter.
1. 'A great homecoming' for Avonte Maddox
After Darius Slay returned a fumble 33 yards for a touchdown against his former team, fellow cornerback Avonte Maddox asked for the ball. It was, after all, Maddox who punched the ball out from running back D'Andre Swift which provided the opportunity for Slay to score.
"That was pretty nice. Detroit on Detroit right there," Maddox said.
Maddox didn't play for the Lions, but he wears his pride for his hometown on his arm with a tattoo that he got back in high school. In addition to family and friends in attendance on Sunday, Maddox purchased tickets so that Detroit's Martin Luther King High School's football program – his alma mater – could be in attendance.
Slay handed over the ball and Maddox ran toward the section where his family was seated. He pointed up to his dad and tossed him the ball.
"He'd been there every game since the beginning," Maddox said, "since I started playing any type of sport. He pushed me to do a lot with it. He was always tough on me with it. He never really gets to come out to the away games because he works, so it was pretty cool to get him back at home and this is his first game this year.
"I was happy to give it to my dad. He just gave me that big smile he always do."
Like father, like son. Maddox is tough and scrappy on the field, but is extremely personable and always affable off of it.
The defense held the Lions to a fourth-quarter touchdown when most of the starters were done for the day. Quarterback Jared Goff threw for 222 yards and the Lions' running backs amassed just 57 on the ground.
As Maddox put it, it was "a great homecoming" to get the decisive win.
"We go out and control what we could control," Maddox said of the defense's effort. "We're going to keep trying to dominate and get better at whatever we have to get better at, our little details, not beat ourselves, and make sure we execute on whatever is called. We're going to stick together in there and that's the biggest thing, it's going to turn around for us as we keep playing hard, it will."
2. Opportunity knocks and Jordan Howard, Boston Scott answer for the run game
Boston Scott didn't have a carry in the first six games of the season. Jordan Howard didn't suit up for any of the first seven games of the year.
But when the Eagles needed them on Sunday in Detroit, they answered the bell.
Howard (57 rushing yards, two touchdowns) and Scott (60 rushing yards, two touchdowns) helped the team gain a season-high 236 rushing yards in the win over Detroit.
"Whenever that opportunity knocks, that's when you got to step up and you got to go out there and produce," Scott said. "Me and Jordan have been motivating each other during the time leading up to this moment. I think we did a good job – things to correct, things to improve on, but overall, we're just committed to helping the team. That's all we want to do."
Head Coach Nick Sirianni said after the game that he wanted to establish the rushing attack early even with Miles Sanders out with ankle and foot injuries. Philadelphia lost starting right guard Jack Driscoll to a hand injury early. Nate Herbig went in and the offensive line kept churning out yards on the ground. The Eagles ran the ball seven times on their first scoring drive which ended with a 1-yard plunge into the end zone by Scott.
Sunday marked the first time that the Eagles totaled over 225 yards and the ground while scoring four rushing touchdowns on the road in a single game since 1980.
"We had an excellent run game today," tackle Lane Johnson said. "As an offensive line, that's a lot of fun. Getting to do that and getting to fire off the ball."
Eagles vs. Lions: October 31
No tricks, just treats. Check out these photos from Week 8 in Detroit.
DE Josh Sweat
Drew Hallowell/Philadelphia Eagles
RB Boston Scott
CB Darius Slay & CB Avonte Maddox
Kiel Leggere/Philadelphia Eagles
QB Jalen Hurts
S Marcus Epps
LB T.J. Edwards
QB Jalen Hurts & RB Boston Scott
WR Jalen Reagor
Hunter Martin/Philadelphia Eagles
S Rodney McLeod
CB Avonte Maddox & CB Steven Nelson
TE Dallas Goedert
CB Darius Slay
RB Jordan Howard
DT Fletcher Cox & LB Genard Avery
DT Milton Williams & DE Derek Barnett
WR DeVonta Smith
CB Avonte Maddox
WR Quez Watkins
DT Hassan Ridgeway
K Jake Elliott
Ford Field in Detroit
C Jason Kelce
QB Jalen Hurts and RB Boston Scott
3. Jalen Hurts: 'We all challenged each other'
Looking to use Sunday's game in Detroit as a springboard, quarterback Jalen Hurts said that players and coaches "all challenged each other to come together and raise the standard, the standard of what we want. When you have to overcome adversity, you find out who you really are."
The response: A 44-6 win over the Lions in a game where all phases contributed to the win.
Hurts threw for only 103 yards, but rushed for a game-high 71 – sometimes turning Lions pass rush opportunities into big gains on the ground – in the victory. Most importantly, he wasn't sacked and he didn't turn the ball over in his three quarters of action. The Eagles didn't commit a penalty on offense. After an opening drive that resulted in a punt, the Eagles scored on their final seven drives, excluding a one-play kneeldown to end the first half.
"I'm OK with winning," Hurts said. "You can't really be result-orientated. You got to focus on the process and focus on what it takes to get there."
4. T.J. Edwards takes advantage of expanded role
The Eagles started T.J. Edwards as the primary linebacker on Sunday, playing the most snaps of anyone at the position with 41.
Edwards responded with a career-high and team-best 13 tackles, two for loss, as the defense kept the Lions off the scoreboard until the game was well out of hand.
Edwards credited Defensive Coordinator Jonathan Gannon with effectively mixing in blitzes to complement an outstanding performance by the defensive line (six sacks) as the Lions were unable to get their offense on track.
"I think we just did a good job of showing the same similar coverages and then bringing pressure from those looks," Edwards said. "We've had things schemed up like this, but just hadn't had the down and distance to get us in those spots."
After the Eagles took a 7-0 lead in the first quarter, Edwards made back-to-back tackles on first and second down to set up a third down where defensive end Josh Sweat beat the tackle and the tight end on the way to sacking Goff.
"I think playing good defense is staying ahead of the sticks at all times," Edwards said. "When the team is really good on first and second down, it's going to be a longer day. When you're not stopping the run, when you're not stopping those checkdowns down quick, again, it just makes it tougher for the defense as a whole. I thought we just did a good job of rallying the tackles, making sure that those yards aren't bleeding, and getting to him on third downs."
5. Dallas Goedert provides chunk plays in pass game
For the second game in a row, tight end Dallas Goedert was the go-to weapon in the pass game, catching six of his seven targets for a team-high 72 yards in the win over Detroit.
Goedert said the effective run game was key in providing him opportunities. Up 10-0 in the second quarter, the Eagles' use of play-action passing freed up Goedert for consecutive catches of 15 and 13 yards, respectively, to set up running back Jordan Howard's first touchdown of the afternoon to extend the lead to 17-0.
"The running backs did a helluva job today," Goedert said. "It didn't matter if they're getting hit in the backfield, they were still falling forward for 5 (yards). Being able to run the ball like that, we were able to get play-action, be able to find some soft spots in the zone, getting a linebacker to step up because we were able to run the ball so well."
Goedert played 44 snaps in the first three quarters before the majority of starters rested in the final 15 minutes. He was not surprised by the team's success after seeing how Head Coach Nick Sirianni rallied the team this week.
"It really started on Wednesday. Coach Sirianni had a great team meeting and shoot it was some of our best three practices of the year," Goedert said. "Everybody was locked in and paying attention to the details. I think that's what showed, just how hard we worked in practice. And then coming into the game, it really showed how detailed we were able to do a lot of things.
"Execution fuels emotion and that's kind of what we did today. We were executing the plays and people were stepping up on third downs (Eagles were 5-of-10) and was scrambling for first downs. People were just making plays when we needed them."
6. Defensive line roars against Lions offensive line
Defensive end Josh Sweat helped set the tone early with two first-quarter sacks, becoming the first Eagle to accomplish the feat since Connor Barwin against New England in 2015.
Sweat's first sack came as he beat right tackle Matt Nelson off the edge and was able to chase down quarterback Jared Goff. The 5-yard loss helped push back kicker Austin Seibert's field goal attempt two plays later that went wide left.
On the second sack, tight end T.J. Hockenson didn't offer much help in terms of a chip and Nelson came out of his stance unbalanced as Sweat was able to bullrush the tackle on the way to Goff. For Sweat, it was his second career multi-sack performance (2020 vs. Saints) and he now has 3.5 on the year.
But Sweat wasn't alone in the sack party. The Eagles tallied six on the day as Derek Barnett, Tarron Jackson, Hassan Ridgeway, and Milton Williams all got to the quarterback. It was the first career sacks for rookies Jackson and Williams.
"Obviously Josh Sweat had a great game and Derek Barnett had a phenomenal game," Head Coach Nick Sirianni said. "They just continued and then when you're getting push up the middle with Fletch (Cox) and with (Javon) Hargrave, you're just able to tighten up coverage and have more guys back there (in the secondary on pass defense)."
Pro Football Focus credited the Eagles with 11 total QB hurries to go along with the six sacks. Four players had multiple hurries – Cox, Hargrave, Ryan Kerrigan, and Williams. Sirianni applauded some of the tweaks that were made by Defensive Coordinator Jonathan Gannon to add some extra pressure.
"It was relying on those guys there to win up front initially and then just tighten it up in the coverage with a little more man-to-man and a little bit more zone match when they give us a couple of different looks to be able to still match even if we were in zone coverages."
ICYMI No. 1: Lane Johnson opens up candidly about his battle with anxiety disorder
"I didn't know my 'why' for a while."
To hear those words from a man who is one of the most accomplished players at his position is stunning. But that's what Lane Johnson told FOX Sports' Jay Glazer in a one-on-one interview that aired Sunday afternoon just before the Eagles-Lions game.
Johnson has been named to the Pro Bowl three times. He was a first-team All-Pro when he helped the Eagles win their first Super Bowl Championship in franchise history. All of these accomplishments came after Johnson was selected fourth overall in the 2013 NFL Draft. Accolades very few players can put on their résumé.
If you polled the players in the locker room and asked who is the funniest Eagle, Johnson would receive several votes – if not the most. Johnson has always been engaging with the media, starting his own podcast during the pandemic.
But the popularity and success don't make up for a clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder that was unearthed when Johnson was at Kilgore College, a junior college in Texas, in 2008. For 13 years, Johnson has battled something more relentless than any pass rusher lining up across from him on Sundays.
"I was living in hell for a long time," Johnson said.
Click here to read the entire feature.
ICYMI No. 2: Eagles Insider Dave Spadaro's 7 takeaways from the win
On this given Sunday, Nick Sirianni's Philadelphia Eagles had the kind of game when everything – every part of the football operation – worked as imagined in a 44-6 win over the Detroit Lions. It was a brilliant performance from start to finish featuring an offense that punished Detroit with a running game that totaled 236 rushing yards, a defense that smothered quarterback Jared Goff with six sacks, and added a scoop and fumble return for a touchdown and three field goals and five PATs to highlight a fine special teams performance.
"Today was Round 8 (game eight) for us," Sirianni said, using a boxing analogy. "My message to them was, 'Hey, sometimes it just takes a round when you cut somebody, when you win a round, to build some momentum. But, there was no secret as to why we performed well today. It happened every day in practice. What happened on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday – the intensity was so high, the detail was so high, that was our message – to continue to grow. The only way to continue to grow is if you're going to have intensity in practice and you're going to have detail.
"I think the guys locked into that and practiced well all week."
Click here to enjoy the entire column.
Morning Roundup: James Bradberry helps KO former team
Plus, find out just how impactful home-field advantage was on Saturday night.
Morning Roundup: Can Boston Scott reprise his Giant slayer role?
The running back reflects on his success against the division rivals.
Morning Roundup: Eagles react to securing No. 1 seed in NFC playoffs
Jalen Hurts went 14-1 as a starter, becoming the second-youngest quarterback ever to win 14 games in a regular season.
Morning Roundup: Who will start at QB vs. Giants?
Plus, get the latest on defensive end Josh Sweat, who was injured in Sunday's game.
Morning Roundup: Gardner Minshew was ready for the moment
The backup looked the part, throwing for 355 yards and scoring three touchdowns. Learn what's next for the Eagles at the quarterback situation.
Morning Roundup: What a rush! Eagles are 13-1
Defense brings the heat, Jalen Hurts provides some soul, and the wide receiver duo continues a historic run.
Morning Roundup: Miles-tones at the Meadowlands
The Eagles are 12-1 for just the second time in franchise history.
Morning Roundup: Mission accomplished as Eagles dominate Titans in every phase
Read all about Jalen Hurts' explosive passing performance, the defense's stifling of Derrick Henry, and returner Britain Covey's breakout day.
Morning Roundup: A night Eagles fans won't soon forget
The phrase "rewriting the record books" became a tired phrase during the Eagles' 40-33 victory over the Green Bay Packers.
Morning Roundup: Eagles reward Nick Sirianni in emotional homecoming
Plus, Linval Joseph and Ndamukong Suh waste no time making themselves at home in the Eagles' defense.
Morning Roundup: Eagles look to bounce back after first defeat
Read about the team's response to Monday night's loss as well as the festivities surrounding the annual Salute to Service game.
Morning Roundup: Javon Hargrave is back to sacking QBs and kicking down doors
The Pro Bowl defensive tackle has five sacks in the past two games.


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"America has the potential for the greatest economic boom and spiritual renewal in our history. But we're being held back by Washington politics as usual. It's time we move forward."
Taking responsibility for our success and failures is part of being a mature business owner--- as well as a smart one. There is no room for throwing blame to outside forces. It is obvious that the smart players in our industry are those that don't even waste their time pointing fingers. They bask in their successes and glory in their failures because they know that they are moving forward. They are not waiting for something or someone to change things for them.
"I once met an economist who believed that everything was fungible for money, so I suggested he enclose himself in a large bell-jar with as much money as he wanted and see how long he lasted."
Reviewing the way we do business on a regular basis is vital for the success of our company. We need to take time to evaluate our direction and make course corrections as necessary.
One of the challenges in an up and down economy is to try to keep pace with the changes. A business cannot keep doing the same thing day in and day out and expect to receive the same returns. There has to be someone looking beyond today and making plans for the future.
"I believe the true road to preeminent success in any line is to make yourself master in that line. I have no faith in the policy of scattering one's resources, and in my experience I have rarely if ever met a man who achieved preeminence in money making... certainly never one in manufacturing... who was interested in many concerns."
A true, laser-like focus on the core business products and services is needed in order to compete in the sign industry today. Diversification is good if the diversified products are delivered with the highest level of quality possible. If not, those products (or services) should be dumped, and a refocus generated for those things that the business is really good at producing and providing.
The "Jack-of-all-trades" eventually loses steam and fails at too many, or even all of his endeavors. Being totally committed to whatever it is that we are providing is the best way to generate success in our businesses.
"There is no substitute for knowledge. To this day, I read three newspapers a day. It is impossible to read a paper without being exposed to ideas. And ideas... more than money... are the real currency for success."
Of course, there are no shortcuts for becoming an expert in your field. It requires a lot of time and a great deal more of dedication to study, research, and more study. We cannot instantly reach the top of our field without paying some dues and that requires taking the time to read up on the latest and greatest ways of producing products in our chosen segment of the this industry. Attending trade shows, talking it up with competitors and vendors, and contributing to other's success, are all great ways to get better and better at what we do.
--> Click here for more info on Sign World INT'L 2011.
"If Voting Could Really Change Things, It Would Be Illegal!"
"Express Lane: Five Beers or Less!
"Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die... "


The public exhibition on how to deal with Hong Kong's future infrastructure challenges was the result of a six-month ICE 200 campaign.
The final presentation at City Gallery.
More than 7,000 members of the public have visited an exhibition on the future of civil engineering, put on by the Graduates and Students Division in Hong Kong.
The event at the City Gallery in Central followed a campaign, 'ICE 200 Shaping Our Future City', which the division ran from February to July 2018 to mark the 200th anniversary of the Institution.
During the project, 53 students from nine secondary schools explored the world of civil engineering and the Hong Kong 2030+ planning strategy, with the guidance of 40 passionate civil engineering graduates and students.
For the exhibition and a final presentation, the students were tasked with working out a proposal in railway design and village development, which took into consideration site constraints and stakeholders.
They visited construction sites such as Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macao Bridge and Shatin-to-Central Link, as well as infrastructures like Tsing Ma Bridge and water treatment works.
Engineers working in local industry and on humanitarian missions gave students an insight into future challenges and civil engineers' approach to problem-solving and helping people in need.
Students also took part in games to help improve their technical knowledge, as well as their communication and presentation skills.
As well as presenting the students' solution to the task, the exhibition introduced the ICE, local infrastructure projects and relevant university degrees to visitors.
The students received high praise from the ICE representative for Hong Kong, CK Hon GBS, and three judges in local engineering and planning professions, for their presentations.
"The campaign not only allowed the students to have their first tastes of civil engineering, but also reminded me of my motivation for joining this profession" said Irene Ngai, chairman of the Organising Committee.
This campaign, in its first year, was sponsored by Ove Arup and Partners (Hong Kong) Limited and Urban Renewal Authority and supported by the Development Bureau, Works Departments of the Hong Kong government, and various third-party institutions.


Take their hands and dance with them!
by its exclusion, that which is included to - "
recline? recluse? re-line? refuse? resign?
You choose. The meaning's in response.
line a london-bridge and all fall down!
Oh, can't you hear them singing?


In the coming year, Atlas Plumbing will be committed to providing continuing excellent service and quality products to you, faster at affordable rates. As consummate professionals, we take pride in everything we do, and we are grateful for this prestigious recognition by the community here in Dallas as confirmation of our ongoing efforts to make sure all your plumbing needs in Dallas. The awarding of the 2017 Super Service Award is a reminder that for over 75 years Atlas Plumbing Company has protected the health and well-being of our friends and neighbors in the Dallas service area, and we are here to serve you. Thank you Dallas clients for your vote of confidence. Trust The Best!
This month, we want to focus on another US manufacturer, Price Pfister. Their new products have brought culinary perfection to the plumbing industry. He we have a focus case study we believe could be a possible option for you to consider as a replacement faucet for your new kitchen. Let's take a look at the specifications.
The Orono 1-Handle Pull Down Culinary Kitchen Faucet is more than a nod to the commercial-style faucets seen in most working restaurant kitchens. If you have a family of 4, prepare most of your meals in your kitchen there at the house, or have determined the remodel of your kitchen is scheduled for completion soon, then you must complete the new look with a worthy kitchen faucet that will seal the investment deal for long term added value.
One of the many great new features is the coil spring design of the 22″ hose; which allows for easy movement of the spray head to accommodate any kitchen task. If you combine that feature with a classic look, this faucet is the perfect upgrade to any traditionally designed kitchen. Did we mention how easy it will be to use?
A truly transitional style, Orono is versatile enough to blend seamlessly into any modern chef's kitchen or perhaps a rustic cottage style kitchen in your vacation home. The stainless steel finish adds a clean and proper look, while the fluidity of the coil adds whimsy and texture. Farm sink, one two three or four hole style sinks are no problem either.
Bonus features for the Orono kitchen faucet includes a matching, top-filling soap dispenser pump, mounting hardware, and an optional deck plate for 1, 2, 3 or 4 hole installations. And, of course, the Pforever Seal™ advanced ceramic disc valve technology provides a never leak guarantee along while the Pfister Pforever Warranty that covers finish and function for life. We think that it doesn't get any better than this.
Atlas Plumbing, your favorite Dallas Plumber is here to serve you for all your plumbing needs. Remember our professional staff and super fast radio service and insures you of the best bathroom, kitchen, laundry room, outdoor shower, and interior home and commercial plumbing products. We can work with your designers on home improvement and kitchen and bath remodeling in the Dallas, Frisco, Plano, Richardson, and varied community and suburbs as well in locating that special fixture you need.. As members of Angies List, BBB, Quality Service Contractors, PHCC, and Service Roundtable we are still excited to provide these excellent services for all your plumbing fixtures, faucets, toilets, showers.
Call today for your free estimate or to schedule service! When you are ready, call Atlas Plumbing in Dallas.


Welcome to Violets and Tea, the luxury English garden tour specialists. We provide carefully curated small group escorted and bespoke tours of English gardens, with a focus on creating memorable, relaxing and enjoyable experiences for our guests.
We hope that you enjoy our website and look forward to welcoming you on one of our tours soon!
We have added a new tour for September 2019 - The Garden Inspiration Tour. Join us on this inspiring tour of beautiful English gardens from the last 100 years.
At Violets and Tea, we are passionate about providing the best experience for our guests. Read more about us to understand how we started this journey and how you can be a part of it.
Discover some of the world's most beautiful gardens and experience quintessential English charm on our meticulously designed, small group escorted tours. Your journey starts here.
Our bespoke tours are individually designed around your specific requirements. From the perfectly practical to the inspirational and indulgent, we work with you to create and refine your perfect holiday, providing an experience that will stay with you for a lifetime.
"Many thanks again for all of your research and pleasant company."
"What a wonderful experience! The trip lived up to our very high expectations!"
"I am dreaming my bedroom is filled with flowers every night."
"The history we learned from our competent and friendly leader, along with the stunning beauty of the gardens made this a holiday of a lifetime."
"What a great amount of care, energy and great organising ability you gave to us."


This is a question that comes up often. When should I introduce my children to my new boyfriend? There is not a straight forward answer, but, the first meeting should be planned. I also feel that unless you are in a serious relationship, it is best not to involve your children. So, how do you introduce your boyfriend to your children.
Personally, I used the three month rule. My sons would not meet anyone unless I had been seeing them three months. It just complicates matters and I always felt is best to leave my children's lives separate, especially right after the divorce. Of course, this would vary with the age of your children. Mine at the time of my divorce were teenagers.
What I was naïve about what how to introduce them. Learn from my mistakes. My boys and I were going on a vacation with other family members. My boyfriend wanted to join us because we were going to celebrate my birthday. On the big day, I chose white water rafting as our activity. I love it and my sons and I have gone many times. My older son was a white water rafting guide and I thought, what better way to all get to know each other. Well, while most of us were having fun paddling through the rapids, my boyfriend was scared to death. He was holding on for dear life and was crouched down in the middle of the raft. This was not what I expected. We stopped dating shortly after that.
My sister thought the situation was so hilarious, that she bought an 11" X 14" photo of that famous river run and it still hangs in her house.
1. Plan the introduction in a group setting, some easy, neutral activity.
2. Have no expectations of the outcome.
3. Remind your children, that your boyfriend will not replace their father. They have only one Mother and one Father.
This entry was posted in Dating and tagged dating, divorce, divorce advice, divorce the divorce, divorced, divorced women, happy gratitude love single, single happy strong, single women, strong and happy divorce on August 5, 2015 by Gloria Marie.


Your dog has itchy skin and is scratching and licking himself incessantly. His skin is getting raw, red, and infected.
Itchy skin is a hallmark symptom of canine atopic dermatitis, or canine atopy, which is the most common type of dog skin allergies.
However, having said that, not all dogs with itchy skin are allergic sufferers, since there are other problems that can cause similar symptoms. It is therefore very important to get your dog to the vet for an allergy test if you suspect your dog has atopy.
Canine atopy is a genetic inflammatory skin disorder in which the dog becomes sensitized and reactive to certain environmental allergens, such as pollens, weeds, housedust mites, and molds.
Many people used to think that in atopy, the allergens were inhaled into the respiratory system, and as such canine atopy is also often referred to as "inhalant allergies".
Many veterinary dermatologists now believe that there may be a combination of allergen exposure both by inhalation and by contact of the pollens or dust mites with the skin.
As well, according to the veterinary medicine literature, canine atopy usually shows up in dogs at 1 to 3 years of age. However, please note that this 1-3 year time period is just a rough guideline.
There are dogs who do not show allergic symptoms until mid-life or older, and there are dogs who start showing symptoms as early as a few months of age.
In fact, it is more accurate to say that canine atopic dermatitis usually occurs within 1 to 3 years of a dog being exposed to continual environmental allergens.
What Breeds are Predisposed to Atopic Dermatitis?
Since canine atopy is a genetic disorder, certain dog breeds have a higher possibility of developing this disorder. These breeds include the terriers, the Chinese Shar-Pei, Dalmatians, Retrievers, Irish Setters, Miniature Schnauzers, Bulldogs and other brachiocephalic breeds.
But remember that any breed of dog can develop atopy, even mixed breeds.
Itching is the hallmark symptom of canine atopic dermatitis. Suspect atopy if your dog itches, but otherwise his skin appears normal.
The itchiness can be mild, moderate, or severe, although most atopic dogs do not start off with severe itching.
The itching may be generalized, or localized usually in the armpits, the face, ears, and feet.
As a result of constant scratching, licking, and chewing due to itchiness, an atopic dog can develop sores and lesions on the skin which, over time, will change color (usually the affected areas become darker).
If timely treatment is not given, these skin lesions (e.g. hot spots) will go out of control and, because of the constant licking and mauling by the dog, can easily result in secondary bacterial or yeast infections.
Bacterial infections are most commonly caused by the staphylococcal bacteria. You can find small red bumps (papules) or small pimple-like lesions (pustules) on the dog's skin. When these bumps and lesions rupture, scabs form.
Yeast infections are caused by the yeast Malassezia most of the time. The affected dog is rather itchy and smelly, with greasy yellow scales and red skin.
Not all itchy dogs have canine atopic dermatitis, since there are many other things that can make a dog itch. Do not assume that your dog has atopy if he scratches incessantly.
More importantly, if your vet bases his diagnosis solely on clinical signs without doing any tests, insist that laboratory tests be done to avoid mis-diagnosis and mis-use of medication.
The Gold Standard for atopy diagnosis is the intradermal skin test, in which the allergic dog is injected with very small amounts of allergens in several areas very superficially into the skin. These injected areas are then examined about 15 minutes later for hive-like reactions.
Another test, though less accurate than the intradermal skin test, is an in vitro test called blood ELISA or RAST testing.
The ELISA test is considered not as accurate because many dogs without atopy are tested positive, which may happen when the dog has been exposed to the allergen and has developed circulating antibodies against it.
As such, even if the dog is tested positive, it does not always mean that the circulating antibodies are actually the culprits that are causing the symptoms which the dog is showing.
Before doing the ELISA test, therefore, other possible problems have to be ruled out.
Can canine atopy be cured?
Unfortunately, atopic dermatitis usually cannot be cured. It can only be controlled.
Atopic dermatitis in dogs can be controlled either by medications (e.g. antihistamines, corticosteroids) or, if medicines fail to control the symptoms, some veterinarians may also suggest immunotherapy ("allergy shots").
While corticosteroids may provide some relief to a dog's itching, long-term use of these drugs should be avoided if at all possible, since they can wreak havoc to a dog's immune system, and cause a host of adverse side-effects.
Also, do not allow your vet to give your dog steroids without a proper diagnosis. If it is deemed necessary to use steroids, ask the vet if it is possible to first try using the topical form.
If you don't want to give your dog excessive amount of drugs such as steroids, consider a holistic approach. Use natural home remedies such as herbs, supplements, etc. to help to alleviate allergy symptoms in dogs and boost the dog's immune system. Check out our page on Natural Alergy Relief for Dogs for more information.
It has been found that what a dog eats can greatly affect the seriousness of the symptoms of canine atopic dermatitis.
In a study, it was shown that by feeding dogs "skin barrier-fortified" diets early on in their lives, the frequency of signs and symptoms showing as a result of atopic dermatitis greatly reduced.
So what constitutes a "skin barrier-fortified" diet?
Histidine: Histidine is an amino acid that can be produced in the body in only very small amounts, so it must be taken in through the diet. Foods rich in protein (e.g. poultry, fish, meat, eggs) are excellent sources of this amino acid.
Niacin (Vitamin B3): Niacin is essential for skin health, and some good sources of niacine include turkey, chicken, tuna, and liver.
Pantothenate (Vitamin B5): This vitamin is essential for metabolism of protein, carbohydrates, and fats. Foods rich in vitamin B5 include chicken liver, salmon, and sunflower seeds.
Choline: Choline is an essential nutrient that transports dietary fats. The best source of choline is egg yolk, meat, poultry, and fish.
Inositol: Sometimes known as vitamin B8, inositol works with choline to help promote healthy skin. Beans, bananas, cantaloupes, and green leafy vegetables are rich in inositol.
In addition to the above, Omega-3 fatty acids (e.g. salmon oil) and vitamin E are vital in skin health as well.
As you can see, it appears that a natural, animal protein-rich diet, supplemented with salmon oil and vitamin E may help reduce symptoms of canine atopic dermatitis.
If your dog suffers from atopic dermatitis, it may be a good idea to consult with a holistic vet and a canine nutritionist to come up with an appropriate diet for your dog.
M. Goldstein, The Nature of Animal Healing (Ballantine Books, 2000).
S. Messonnier, The Allergy Solution for Dogs (Three Rivers Press, 2000).


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Notes from the Publisher's Laptop
by admin | Nov 25, 2017 | Column, News | 0 comments
We're starting a new regular column here at Twelfth Planet Press. Our first instalment is in the form of an interview with our publisher, Alisa Krasnostein.
Q: How did you get into the local publishing scene?
Alisa: During my postgrad years, a friend was beginning to get published in local markets. I began reading her work and then started to investigate the local scene. That's when I discovered you could slush read for ASIM (Andromeda Spaceways) and I joined them to see what it was all about.
Q: Why did you start a publishing house?
Alisa: I wanted to see if I could do it, and do it successfully. I'd been learning the ropes of editing and publishing with ASIM for a while, first as a slush reader and then as part of the Collective. I had learned a lot about reading for acquisitions and also about many of the aspects of running a magazine behind the scenes. I wanted to have a go setting something up from scratch that would be mine. It was also around the time that there was a lot of discussion amongst writers, editors and fans about the lack of women on local awards ballots. The argument was that this was because women didn't write science fiction. I thought this idea was ridiculous and I set off to have a specific interest in sourcing, encouraging and publishing Australian female writers.
Q: When did you find the time to work on your press?
Alisa: The perennial question! When I started Twelfth Planet, I was working a full-time job in the city as an engineer providing advice to state government. At the time, it didn't feel like I had a lot of spare time – I used to work on the bus on the way into work, I worked through my lunch breaks, I'd work on the bus on the way home, and then for any and all spare hours before I went to sleep. I also tried to work all weekend free hours as well. It felt like I stuffed a lot of work into not much available free time and I got very skilled at multitasking and breaking bigger projects and tasks into the next executable job so that they could be picked up and completed in five minute timeslots when I got them. Knowing where you are going and the very next step on the path to getting there are crucial to using the time you have available to you effectively.
Q: How are things different today?
Alisa: It seems really quite hilarious now, thinking back on how little time I used to think I had. These days I'm at home with two little ones, working on a PhD in publishing, and running Twelfth Planet Press. And I'm also a Jamberry Nails independent consultant on the side because glitter. I could say, I don't sleep much. And it's true, I don't. But coming off a recent bad bout of not juggling my commitments particularly well, or perhaps rather, making up for lack of time in the day by working late into the night and then having to get up to feed small people and change nappies, well, I'm attempting to get back to a better sleeping habit!
Most of the time I feel rushed. And like I'm fragmenting my attention into too many slivers. But on the other hand, it's never been more exciting at Twelfth Planet. I'm eagerly anticipating the delivery of so many projects we're currently working on! Our team is constantly growing with enthusiastic and talented members. And for the first time, I have both a personal assistant and a publicist! As I said, it's all super exciting!
Q: What would you do differently if you had to start over?
Alisa: Thinking back, there are no projects I regret publishing. There probably aren't any I would do all that differently. I've learned a lot of lessons along the way and have a list of things to check before publishing a new book to make sure we don't repeat past mistakes! If there was one thing I do wish I could go back and do differently, it would be to pay less (to no) attention to the naysayers and the haters. There will always be people who resent your success, even if that success is getting up in the morning, working on your thing and finishing it. Publishing isn't a zero-sum game, readers read more than one book (often in a week) so other writers, editors and publishers aren't your enemy – Netflix, gaming, and other forms of entertainment are. I would worry less about what people say about me and my press, and spend more time on my business, on building networks and relationships and learning about the changes in technology and distribution.
Q: How did you name your press?
Alisa: Ah it was the heady days of the debate about whether Pluto was as planet or not! We were in the middle of naming the New Ceres project and looking for a name for the publishing company. I was a staunch supporter of Pluto remaining a planet and for that to happen, a couple of planetoids in the Solar System, including Ceres, would have to be upgraded to planet as well. Tansy thought that was a sign and we decided to name the press the Twelfth Planet in our Solar System!


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8-Year-Old Survivor's Message: 'Cancer Is No Match for You'
Lily Wilson was diagnosed with cancer when she was 15 months old. In the years since, she's heard stories about the friends, family and even strangers who supported her. Now 8 and cancer-free, Lily is giving back to other "brave kids" facing cancer.
Mikayla Wilson was rocking her 15-month-old daughter, Lily, when she noticed an unusual lump on the little girl's nose. "I questioned it, wondered if I should be worried," Mikayla says. The newly minted pediatrician she and her husband, Pete, took Lily to wasn't sure either and asked a colleague — an ear, nose and throat specialist — to take a look. "The ENT looked at the lump maybe 30 seconds and told us, 'If it were my kid, I'd be on my way to Mayo Clinic right now,'" Mikayla recalls. "He called an ENT he knew at Mayo, and we had an appointment scheduled the next day."
The family set off for Rochester from their home in Wyoming, driving 13 hours through a blizzard to reach Mayo. There, they'd learn the lump on Lily's nose was something to be worried about indeed: rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare type of cancer that forms in soft tissue. "I touched the bump on Sunday and on Thursday it was removed and we knew it was cancer," Mikayla says, still marveling at how quickly life can change. Mayo Pediatric oncologist Carola Arndt, M.D., laid out a treatment plan for Lily. Over the next 11 months, she would have 43 rounds of chemotherapy and a month of proton beam radiation.
It was a frightening time for the family. But Mikayla tells us that in the midst of that dark year, there were many bright lights. Friends, family and their community rallied around the Wilsons in many ways, including raising funds to support the cost of traveling to and from Lily's treatments in Rochester, South Dakota and Texas. Even strangers offered support. "People who didn't even know us would send cards with gas cards inside," Mikayla says. "We were so blessed. We knew that once we recovered, we wanted to give back."
And they have. In the years since, the Wilsons have organized fundraisers to support other families facing cancer. Lily's gotten into the act, too. "She has a huge, giving heart," Mikayla tells us. In 2016, Lily donated her hair to Children With Hair Loss. Last year, the 8-year-old told her mom she wanted to donate books to Mayo Clinic. "A lot of times when we've been at Mayo there would be volunteers passing out books to kids and their siblings," Mikayla says. "She wanted to give to that." Mikayla put the word out to family and friends, and donations started streaming in.
In January, Lily arrived at Mayo Clinic for her annual appointment and surprised Dr. Arndt with more than 40 books to share with her patients. Most include a cuddly teddy bear, and all of them include a special message from Lily. "This book belongs to A Brave Kid," the message reads. "It was donated by Lily Wilson — Survivor. Cancer is no match for you!" Lily even got a chance to hand deliver a book and bear to one of Dr. Arndt's patients. "Lily was grinning the entire time," Mikayla says.
The donation made Dr. Arndt smile, too. "Time and time again I see that trying medical situations bring out the best in people," she tells us. "Lily is a brave, beautiful little girl, inside and out."
Bring out your best by leaving a comment below before using the social media tools atop this page to share this story with others.
Read more about Mayo Clinic Children's Center.
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Tags: Dr. Carola Arndt, Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Patient Stories, Rhabdomyosarcoma
jetjock01 | @jetjock01 | Feb 17, 2018
I flew Lily and her Mom a few times to Sioux Falls for chemo. Seven years later I find my self vetted treated for cancer at the Mayo Clinic. Fortunately I have a happy ending also.


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US Firms Backing Lenovo in PC Race
By Keith Regan
March 31, 2005 1:40 PM PT
Even as IBM distances itself from the personal computer industry — citing foreign competition as a reason — and others might be prepared to follow suit, private U.S. investors have stepped forward to bankroll the Chinese company taking over Big Blue's PC wing.
A group of private investors announced it has agreed to buy a 12 percent stake in Lenovo Group, paying US$350 million that the Chinese company will use to bankroll its $1.25 billion purchase of IBM's PC unit.
Turnaround Project
The investors include Texas Pacific Fund, which will pony up $200 million, General Atlantic Partners, which is buying a $100 million stake, and Newbridge Capital, which has promised to invest $50 million.
The investments are seen as a bet that Lenovo can use its Chinese roots to compete effectively in the PC market and gain market share going forward, despite the presence of fast-growing powerhouse Dell and long-range projections that the PC market might cool in coming years.
However, Lenovo gains important allies as well and signaled that it would look to its new investors to help provide strategic guidance and advice on how to turn around the image of Big Blue's PC unit.
Texas Pacific, the lead investor, in the past has bought stakes in companies such as Continental Airlines and Burger King, which had strong brand images but were struggling with execution. The IBM unit — Lenovo bought the rights to use the brand name for at least five years — is a turnaround project from an operational viewpoint, having lost nearly $1 billion in a three-year span starting in 2001.
Lenovo CEO Yuanqing Yang, who will give way to an IBM-chosen executive when the deal closes, called the investment "a strong vote of confidence in Lenovo's prospects going forward." He also said the firms would be allies as the company seeks to position itself to enter the U.S. market on the strength of its Big Blue buy.
The new investors will hold a slightly smaller stake than IBM, which is keeping about 13 percent ownership of the merged firm.
The private equity firms' investment might raise eyebrows in many quarters because such firms are generally considered shrewd players, willing to take risks in exchange for likely payouts, but wont to take fliers on risky ventures.
Still, the move by IBM was seen as something of an acknowledgement that the PC business was shifting to overseas companies that could take advantage of cost savings and also were in a better position to seize current and future growth opportunities in emerging economies such as China.
"The industry is changing fundamentally and companies and investors are reacting to that in different ways," Gartner analyst Leslie Fiering told the E-Commerce Times. "Vendors that can optimize their cost structures and supply chains to remain profitable will be the ones that emerge ahead in three to five years."
Such execution will be especially important in coming years as the recent growth in PC sales starts to slow, especially in mature markets such as North America and Europe. A company that can be flexible enough to take advantage of market opportunities as they evolve will be in a strong position, especially if other large PC makers exit the industry.
Gartner has predicted that two more of the top 10 makers of computers will exit the space within three years.
From China to the World
In a statement, Texas Pacific managing partner James G. Coulter hinted where his firm believes the merged PC company should focus its attention going forward, saying the combined company will have "a strong global presence, leading technology and the best mobile product in the world in the ThinkPad."
He added that Lenovo, which will be the third-largest PC maker after the merger, is already the leading producer of computers in China, "the fastest growing PC market in the world."
Lenovo, meanwhile, is navigating a rare path and might want the help of U.S.-based firms to avoid missteps. Few companies have leveraged market dominance in China to become worldwide brands, said Coulter, who predicted that others would follow Lenovo's lead as the Chinese economy continues to grow and produce more formidable companies.
More by Keith Regan
IBM Should 'Think' Before Allowing Two Masters for Its Brand
Worldwide PC Market To Double by 2010, Forrester Says
Big Blue's Departure from the PC Biz
Lenovo To Buy IBM PC Business for $1.25 Billion
Yahoo Slaps Fresh Coat of Gloss on Microsoft Deal Defense
French Court Stings eBay With $63M Judgment Over Knockoff Sales
New Auto Loan Leads Marketplace Shifts Into Drive
Sony Ericsson Preps Investors for Gloomy Q2
Bill Gates – Boy Genius, Corporate Villain, Global Giver – Has Left the Building
MySpace, NBC Hold Citizen Journalist Cattle Call for Convention Gigs
Yahoo Makes Its Case to Shareholders
Charter Scraps User-Tracking Plan After Privacy Flap
Keeping an E-Commerce Site Cooking
Oracle Bolsters Insurance Vertical Cred With Skywire Buy
Salesforce's Suitors
Research Finds Many Workers Now Value Trust Over Money
Pentagon Cloud Procurement, Deux
5 Types of Shoppers and What They Want for the Holidays


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Planning a New Schoolyard at Ashe
As part of each schoolyard transformation, the Space to Grow team engages with the school community—including students, teachers, parents and community members—to see what elements they most want to see in a new schoolyard. By participating in fun activities and surveys, the school community highlights their priorities and votes on the elements they want to see in their new Space to Grow schoolyard.
The input from these meetings is given to the design team—which includes engineers and landscape architects—so they can create a schoolyard design that's unique to each and every school. The proposed designs are then shared with the community and school, and feedback is gathered on the draft plans.
This process allows all school stakeholders to have input in the final design of the schoolyard and ensures the schoolyard will meet the unique needs of each school and their community.
At Arthur R. Ashe Elementary School in Chicago's Chatham neighborhood, the community really wanted a garden area. "They wanted a lot of flowers and gardens, natural elements like that," says Lara Rivera, project designer at Site Design Group, the firm designing the Ashe Space to Grow schoolyard.
Space to Grow is an innovative partnership led by HSC and Openlands to transform Chicago schoolyards into centers for outdoor learning, play and engagement with nature, while also addressing neighborhood flooding issues. Space to Grow is supported by capital funding and expertise from CPS, the Chicago Department of Water Management and the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago.
Last week, two different design concepts were presented for feedback. Each of the designs included native gardens and edible gardens that could be used by the school and open to the community. Some elements present in both designs are a track, sports fields, playground equipment and an outdoor classroom. "It's helpful to have different concepts so people can see the possibilities.," Rivera says.
The planning process really allows the designers to understand the specific needs of the community. "It's great to come into a school and get a feel for the personality of the school," says Rivera. "They're all different."
For example, Cook Elementary School has a popular chess program, so the design team worked hard to incorporate chess tables into the design of that schoolyard, which opened earlier this year.
Parent Latasha White is excited that the new schoolyard at Ashe will give her kids a new place to be active in the neighborhood. "This will give the kids a different option," says White. "It will bring plenty of growth and greenery into the neighborhood."
For Ashe Assistant Principal Dr. Jackson, the schoolyard transformation represents more than just a new place to kids to be active. "It's a good thing for the school and for the neighborhood," he says. "There can be a lot of doom and gloom, and this schoolyard can be a beacon of light."
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Five New Space to Grow Schoolyards Opening This Fall!
September 14, 2021 Space to Grow ribbon cutting at Whistler Elementary in Chicago's West Pullman community. This improved schoolyard features new playground equipment, outdoor classroom space, gardens and a track and field. The Space to Grow partners are excited to announce the opening of five new schoolyards in Chicago communities: Horace Mann Academy (South... More
Space to Grow Schoolyards – an Important Catalyst for Community-Driven Investment
Mayor Lori Lightfoot and MWRD Commissioner Kimberly du Buclet in the new Space to Grow schoolyard at Melody STEM,in Chicago's West Garfield Park community. Photo credit: Space to Grow/MWRD Everyone benefits from being outdoors, connecting with nature and having opportunities to be active, play and explore. The importance of health-promoting, safe and sustainable outdoor... More
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