Autism Conference: Are You Going?
I wish I could go — this one looks great, with Dr. Jerry Kartzinel and Dr. Rossignol both presenting. Affordable and not too far away from me, in Long Beach, California. Any event with either of these speakers is well worth the money and the time.
I recently took my son to a birthday party. (Yay! He was invited to a party!) Parties are hit-and-miss, with far more miss than hit. We've gotten to the point where we really have to put a lot of thought into whether or not he's going to attend a party, and I think he probably doesn't get invited to most of those from his class. Sadly enough, he also doesn't get invited to a lot from our church family either. I'll spare you my thoughts on that. Parties require a lot of prep time, a lot of us reminding him it could be loud, he could get bumped in a bouncer, or he may not get to sit next to the birthday child during cake time. By the time it comes around, he's telling me "Okay, okay, okay, Mom, I got it." However, talk is cheap.
This party was by a dear friend of ours, and she knows our son very well. She also truly cares about him, and we know he's in good hands there, among the best. But, you can only control so much. The unknown element is the other guests, and it rarely fails that some other guest will feel the need to speak up and attempt to discipline him…usually when I'm right there. ("Oh, he's your son?" said even though I'm the only other parent standing there, and I happen to be talking to him…and that's just one example.) This party was no exception. We weren't there five minutes before someone tried to tell him how to play with another boy, even though both boys were doing it. (That's a Party Whoa!) I swoop in, gently tell them I've got it, it's much better if I handle it or it could get worse, etc., and swoop back out. Problem solved, right? I don't know, but I do know that I've learned that I'd much rather risk offending someone than risk my child blowing up and ruining the event for himself or anyone else, by making a fit, throwing something, screaming, etc…and the more I think about it, shouldn't the person giving out unsolicited discipline to my child be more worried that they offended me? Why should I have to worry that I'm offending someone when I'm just trying to parent and protect my own child, who I know better than anyone else? One of those mysteries.
Anyway, I don't know if they were offended or not…yep, back to that, because I hate to offend/upset others, and I feel bad even if it's deserved…I think there are times people mean well, and truly want to help, but what they don't know is that ds is really bothered by anyone other than immediate family/friends/teachers trying to guide him, and he will melt down to the point of wanting to leave and never wanting to return to that party or any other party. A bad situation can ruin not only that night, but ds equates the bad with all gatherings of the same nature (a Party Woe), and one problem can set back all that he's learned, causing months and months of regression. I'd much rather deal with something he does that's truly a problem (and not just a misperception of someone else's) and keep the event happy, where it can be a learning experience for my son. Those are oh so important, you can't understand how important unless you're really the one dealing with it.
But, to the point, what do YOU do when this happens to you? How do you politely get others to understand that they need to leave the parenting of your child to you? Do these other parents do it because they think your child's just a problem child, or because of that lovely "If he was MY child, he wouldn't have autism" phenomenon? Or is it a bigger picture — do we as a society need to start minding our own business more, and stop impressing our viewpoints on others?
Throughout the years, my son's stims have run the gamut — finger flapping…head shifting…licking everything, licking his arms, licking others' arms…sucking his shirt collars till they drip…chewing everything…picking his cuticles till they bleed…rubbing his ears until they are raw…grabbing himself, there…you get the picture. We've tried a lot of things — diet, supplements, re-direction, distractions, etc. — but in the end, the best success was temporary.
One of my son's doctors calls his stims 'tics.' But tics belong to Tourette's, and my has autism, not Tourette's…right? So stims are stims, and not tics. Is it semantics, or are stims ever really tics? Is the defining factor the ability to stop the stim?
Someone else told me years ago, when I asked what we could do to help my son, "It depends all on how autistic you want your child to be." In a way, I agreed — I could deal with the way he was, or I could work on helping him more. So away I went, finding the latest and greatest to help him. Then I realized eventually that only in a perfect world could I make it all go away. Sure, we can improve things, fix some things, change others, but I don't want him to be autistic at all, yet there it is, he's still autistic. Stims are part of the category of things I'd love to fix, but can't. Yet if a stim isn't impeding his function, do you spend time and energy on stopping it, if it takes time away from teaching social and behavioral nuances and behavior?
My son's stims rotate. Typically, he has about two or three going at a time, and they each rotate for about two months. The only non-rotating stim is his need to constantly move his hair up on the top of his head, and to twirl it. (He's got long hair, a wish of his. Initially, he said he wanted to hide behind it so he wouldn't have to see people, and while he no longer says that's the reason, I still wonder.) Anyway..his current stims are scrunching up his mouth as though he's giving a kiss while scrunching his nose like the person he's kissing smells really bad. And he does it over and over and over. While eating, reading, playing Guitar Hero, bathing, falling asleep..it's incessant. Mix it with the other stim-of-the-month, stretching his mouth longwise as far as it will go. When I ask him why, he says it's because it feels good, yet other times he appears entirely surprised that he was doing it.
Is this stim hurting anything? No. Is it obvious? Heck, yes. I realize that the 'obvious' part of it is my problem, and a problem I need to get over. My son's very verbal, and many of his behaviors are via yelling, screaming, saying inappropriate/mean things, sometimes combined with hitting, yelling, throwing things, running away, etc. People in stores don't take to that stuff very kindly, but I've found that when your child looks funny, people also stare. My husband's great at telling me to ignore it, but I've got a ways to go on this. Meanwhile, these are still stims I want to fix…or should I?
On Saturday, I took ds on a trip to the library. That may not sound like much, but trust me, it's a big deal. BIG deal. First I have to get him to agree to go; then I have to actually get him to go. Once he goes, I have to hope he cooperates. Actually checking out books is like step #37. Still, I prevailed. Once in the children's section, he told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was a 'big kid, responsible.' Based on that, I left him in the children's reading area. He was SO proud. What he didn't know is that I was less than 10′ away, with total visibility, sitting at a computer checking where the books I wanted were located. After I made my list, we hit up the children's chapter book section where he was thrilled to learn that Junie B. Jones books were available for checkout. Lots of them. Who knew there were so many?
After choosing four chapter books, we headed to my section, where ds insisted on sitting at a table reading "Boss of Lunch" while I gathered my books. After much reassurance from ds that he'd be "fine," I left him at a table in the midst of my section. Again, with total visibility, and he'd have had to pass me to leave. But he didn't. He was glued to Junie B. Jones. Glued. I'd go so far as to say he was disappointed when it was time to go to the checkout counter…until he realized he could be my helper and put the books on the scanner.
Fast forward a few minutes, and we walked to Starbucks where he orded his favorite drink, using one of his nicknames. At least the cashier got a laugh. Then on to Bath & Body Works, but we were sidelined by a visit to the Earth Day fair in the quad, where a local utility company was giving out pinwheels. "Would you like a pinwheel?" "You mean, for free? Of course!" And there it began. Other than being asleep and at school, the pinwheel hasn't left his hand. The walk to the car from Bath & Body Works, where he ran back and forth at the door, putting the pinwheel in the wind, was one of the funnest moments with my son in a long while. Not only was he just plain happy, but it was innocent. There was no autism. There were no mood swings. There were no behaviors attracting nasty looks from others. Just innocence. He swung the pinwheel around, blew it, turned it every which way, and just watched it blow in the wind. I wish that walk had lasted five times as long.
We live in a wind tunnel. I'm always the one complaining that my rose bushes are decimated, my huge barbecue and glass table blown over, and the leaves torn off my trees…yet now ds can take his pinwheel out back and stare mesmerized for such a long time. Thank God for the wind.
Dh and I took a weekend away this past weekend. We went to see the Nascar race in Phoenix, and left the kids at home. (We have two older teenage kids, 19 and 18, who were able to work opposing work schedules so there was always someone at home.) They got to order pizza (so much for a dairy-free dinner) and watched The Last Mimsy. Friends came over daily, and meltdowns were at a minimum…without school and errands to go on, he was happy…unless you count an incident at church where someone still doesn't really get that him hiding under the table is not a discipline issue and shouldn't result in discipline.
Anyway, a successful weekend. Dh and I had enjoyed a huge full-all-day breakfast at Cracker Barrel on Sunday morning, first time there ever, and we spent a good 30 minutes shopping their old country store for candy and toys from 'the good ole days.' $60 lighter, but pounds heavier in toys and candy, we toted in the huge bag and handed out the goodies to the kids. Cheers! Ds decided he wanted to take a bath so he could try out his new balloon-propelled wooden boat. Sounds great, right? He loved the way it jetted around the water and giggled when it ran into him. I stepped away, dh close by the tub, only to hear "Are you okay? What happened??" accompanied by a gagging sound. Apparently when you blow into the tube on the boat, you can get a few remnants of the wood taste in the tube. Odd taste/odd texture/funny taste in mouth=disaster. He didn't like the 'stupid' toy anymore, and he was really mad at it. Okay, you don't have to play with it. He got out of the bath where the offending toy was, jammied up, and five minutes later, he found me downstairs long enough to tell me "I frew the boat in the trash, Mom." Then he calmly walks away.
Anyone want a very gently used balloon-propelled boat? I promise, it really doesn't taste that bad.


See if you can resist this Rawa Khaman Dhokla. Just look at the dhokla picture below. Your mouth is bound to water.
Dhokla is a popular Gujrati dish.
Dhokla is usually made with besan - chickpea flour. Try out this yummy variation.
You can have it as anytime snack or breakfast or as a side dish for a meal.
As it doesn't need to be served hot, it is convenient to make and keep and serve when you want.
Take it for a picnic or serve it for a party as a side dish.
Take rawa, curd, salt and soda mix well and keep for one to two hours.
after that pour the mixture in a plate and steam for 15mins.
Cool and then cut in a square pieces.
- take and heat oil in a pan.
- add mustard, hing, curry leaves, green chilli, turmeric powder, red chilli powder, salt and cut dhokla pieces. Mix lightly.
Finally garnish with the coriander leaves.
Tips: it gives better taste with khati mithi pudina chutney.
Here is another dhokla recipe for you.
I want this dhokla NOW!


text:
Antonello Gagini (1478 - 1536) va ser un escultor sicilià, la família del qual anomenada Gangini va arribar a Sicília a mitjan . Va ser el responsable d'algunes de les escultures sacres més decoratives a l'illa, especialment a la regió de Messina.

Va estudiar amb el seu pare, el també escultor Domenico Gagini. La seva obra és notable pel caràcter descriptiu de les figures religioses, incloent "Anunciació", "Madonna amb el nen", "Madonna de les neus", i la "Aparició de la Creu a Constantí", que poden trobar-se al Palazzo Abatellis a Palerm. També va treballar a la catedral de Palerm.

Escultors italians del Renaixement
Artistes de Palerm
Morts a Palerm

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


(WRC.com, 24/8/2013) VOLKSWAGEN'S Jari-Matti Latvala has a slender 7.3sec lead in ADAC Rallye Deutschland at the end of a thrilling second day of the WRC ninth round, during which he fended off a determined attack from Ford Fiesta RS driver Thierry Neuville.
Latvala took the lead on Friday's opening stage after his teammate Sebastien Ogier went off, breaking the front suspension on his Polo R and retiring shortly after.
Inheriting a lead of less than six seconds, Latvala was under pressure in the morning loop, losing time on all three stages to Neuville. But after car set-up changes in service, the increasingly confident Finn upped his pace on the drier afternoon stages and ended the day with two fastest times.
On his preferred road surface, Neuville has never looked closer to his first WRC victory, but the 25-year-old Belgian admitted he didn't have anything else in reserve.
"On the last two stages I was at the maximum, flat-out everywhere – I can't do more," he said.
Citroen's Dani Sordo is best of the rest in third, 19sec behind Neuville. The Spaniard lost time on SS9 when he braked too late for a hairpin but otherwise had a good day – especially after stiffening the suspension of his DS3 after Stage 5.
However, even with two days of the rally still to go Sordo isn't optimistic about catching Latvala.
Sordo's team-mate Mikko Hirvonen is fourth – the place in which he finished most of the day's stages. The Finn had a troublefree day, but without the outright speed to challenge those ahead he is resigned to lying in wait in case they hit trouble.
Behind the top four, there is a 1min 24sec gap to a downcast Mads Ostberg in fifth.
The Norwegian tinkered with the set-up of his Fiesta RS throughout the day but is yet to find a set-up that gives him the confidence to push.
"We cannot expect ourselves to be at the speed of the others like this. We have to focus and improve step by step to find the confidence,' he said.
Behind Ostberg is a big 2min 5sec gap to Martin Prokop in sixth – the Czech baffled by his lack of pace.
"I'm trying my best, the feeling is okay, and I'm enjoying the driving but the times aren't good. Something must be wrong but I don't know what. It's not great for the motivation," he said.
Ford Fiesta RS driver Nasser Al-Attiyah is seventh, with WRC 2 leader Robert Kubica eighth in a Citroen DS3 RRC.
Khalid Al Qassimi is 12th, with the returning Evgeny Novikov 16th and the last WRC runner after the retirements of P-G Andersson with a mechanical problem and Michal Kosciuszko who withdrew after jarring his back on SS3.
Robert Kubica continues to lead the WRC 2 category but the Pole has been unable to shake off Elfyn Evans. Kubica holds a 12.4sec advantage in his Citroen DS3 RRC over Evans' Ford Fiesta R5 and the two frontrunners have built a sizeable gap over Sepp Wiegand's Skoda Fabia S2000 in third.
Sebastien Chardonnet leads Keith Cronin by 1min 56.0sec after a day that decimated the field. Leg 1 leader Chardonnet maintained his momentum until he hit a dog this afternoon. The impact damaged the radiator of his Citroen DS3 R3 and he dropped 45sec in the final two stages as he nursed the car back to Trier. The only other survivor is Mohammed Al Mutawaa, more than 12 minutes behind Cronin.