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"At Geisenheimer's" by P.G. Wodehouse
A New York dancer takes matters into her own hands when a newly married man ditches his wife to dance with every other woman at Geisenheimer's.
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He came breezing up to me with Hicks Corners written all over him.
"Why, Miss Roxborough!"
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"Why not?" I said.
"Don't you remember me?"
"My name is Ferris."
He was probably right, but still the glad light of recognition kept out of my eyes. The name meant nothing in my young life.
"I was introduced to you last time I came here. We danced together."
This seemed to bear the stamp of truth. If he was introduced to me, he probably danced with me. It's what I'm at Geisenheimer's for.
"When was that?" I asked.
"A year ago last April," he said.
You've got to hand it to these rural charmers. They think that New York is folded up and put away in camphor when they leave, and not taken out again till they pay their next visit. The notion that anything could possibly have happened since he was last in our midst, to blur the memory of that happy evening, had not occurred to Mr. Ferris.
I suppose he was so accustomed to dating things from "when I was in New York" that he thought everybody else must do the same.
"Why, sure I remember you," I said. "Algernon Clarence, isn't it? "
"Not Algernon Clarence. My name's Charlie."
"My mistake. And what's the big idea? Do you want to dance with me again?"
He did. So we went to it. Mine not to reason why, mine but to do and die, as the poem says. If an elephant had blown into Geisenheimer's and asked me to dance, I'd have had to do it. And I'm not saying that Mr. Ferris wasn't the next thing to it. He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers — the kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons.
I guess I was about due that night to meet someone from the country. There still come days in the spring when the country seems to get a strangle-hold on me and to start in pulling. I got up in the morning and looked out of the window, and the breeze just wrapped me round and began whispering about pigs and chickens. And when I went out on the Avenue, there seemed to be flowers everywhere. I headed for the Park, and there was the grass all green and the trees coming out, and a sort of something in the air. Why, if there hadn't been a big cop keeping an eye on me I'd have flung myself down and bitten chunks out of the turf.
And the first tune they played when I got to Geisenheimer's was the one that runs something like this:
I want to go back, I want to go back
To the place where I was born,
Far away from harm
With a milk-pail on my arm.
Why, Charlie from Squeedunk's entrance couldn't have been better worked up if he'd been a star in a Broadway show. The stage was just waiting for him.
But somebody's always taking the joy out of life. I ought to have remembered that the most metropolitan thing in the metropolis is a rube who's putting in a week there. We weren't thinking on the same plane, Charlie and me. I wanted to talk about last season's crops — the subject he fancied was this season's chorus girls. I wanted to hear what the village patriarch said to the local constable about the hens — he wanted to hear what Georgie Cohan said to Willie Collier about the Lambs. Our souls didn't touch by a mile and a half. Not that he cared.
"This is the life!" he said.
There's always a point where this sort of man says that.
"I suppose you come here quite a lot."
"Pretty often," I said.
I didn't tell him that I came there every night, and that I came because I was paid for it. If you're a professional dancer at Geisenheimer's you aren't supposed to advertise the fact. The management has an idea that, if you did, it might send the public away thinking too hard when they had seen you win the Great Contest for the Lovely Silver Cup, which they offer later in the evening. And I guess they're right, at that. That lovely silver cup's a joke. I win it on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; and Mabel Francis wins it on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. It's all perfectly fair and square, of course. It's purely a matter of merit who wins the lovely cup. Anybody could walk right into Geisenheimer's and get it. Only somehow they don't. And the coincidence that Mabel and I always happen to gather it in has kind of got on the management's nerves, and they don't like us to tell people we're employed at the restaurant. They prefer us to blush unseen.
"It's a great place," said Mr. Ferris, "and New York's a great place. I'd like to live all the time in New York."
"The loss is ours. Why don't you?"
"Some city! But dad's dead now, and I've got the drug store, you know."
He spoke as if I ought to remember reading about it in the papers.
"And I'm making good with it, what's more. I've got push and ideas. I'm doing fine. Say, I got married since I saw you last."
"You did, did you!" I said. "Then what are you doing, may I ask, cutting up on Broadway like a gay bachelor? I suppose you have left Friend Wife at Bodville Center, singing 'Where is my wandering boy tonight?"'
"Not Bodville Center; Ashley, Maine. That's where I live. My wife comes from Rodney. Pardon me, I'm afraid I stepped on your foot."
"My fault. I lost step. Well, aren't you ashamed even to think of your wife, when you've left her all alone out there, while you come whooping it up in New York? Haven't you any conscience?"
"But I haven't left her. She's here."
"In New York?"
"In this restaurant. She's up there."
I looked up at the balcony. There was a face hanging over the red-plush rail. I had noticed it before when we were dancing round. I had wondered why she was looking so sorry for herself. Now I began to see.
"Why aren't you dancing with her and giving her a good time, then?" I said.
"Oh, she's having a good time."
"She doesn't look it. She looks as if she would like to be down here dancing."
"She doesn't dance much."
"Don't you have dances at Ashley?"
"It's different at home. She dances well enough for Ashley, but — well, this isn't Ashley."
"I see. But you're not like that."
He gave a kind of smirk.
"Oh, I've been in New York before."
I could have slapped his wrist, the sawed off little rube! He made me mad. He was ashamed to dance in public with his wife, didn't think her good enough for him. So he had dumped her in a chair, fed her a lemonade, and then sashayed off to give himself a tall time. They could have had me pinched for what I was thinking just then.
The band started again.
"This is the life," said Mr. Ferris. "Come along!"
"Let somebody else do it," I said. "I'm tired. I'll introduce you to some friends of mine."
So I took him off, and wished him on to some girls I knew at one of the tables.
"Shake hands with my friend Vernon Castle," I said. "He wants to show you the latest steps. He does most of them on your feet."
"This is the life!" said Charlie.
And I left him and headed for the balcony.
She was leaning with her elbows on the red plush, looking down at the dancing-floor. They had just started another tune, and hubby was moving round with one of the girls I'd introduced him to.
She didn't have to prove to me that she came from the country. I knew it. She was a little bit of a thing, old-fashioned looking. She was dressed in gray, with white muslin collar and cuffs, and her hair done simple under a black hat.
I kind of hovered for a while. As a general thing I'm more or less there with the nerve, but somehow I sort of hesitated to butt in. I guess it was because she looked so sorry for herself. Then I took a brace on myself and made for the vacant chair.
"I'll sit here, if you don't mind," I said.
I could see she was wondering who I was and what right I had horning in, but wasn't certain whether it might not be Broadway etiquette for strangers to come and sit down and start chatting.
"I've just been dancing with your husband," I said to ease things along.
"I saw you."
She gave me a look with her big brown eyes, and it was only the thought that the management might not like it that prevented me picking up something large and heavy and dropping it over the rail on to hubby. That was how I felt about Mr. Ferris just then. The poor kid was doing everything with those eyes except cry, and it didn't look as if she could keep off that for long. She looked like a dog that's been kicked and can't understand why.
She looked away and began to fiddle with the string of the electric light. There was a hatpin on the table. She picked it up and dug at the red plush.
"Ah, come on, sis," I said, "tell me all about it."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Quit your kidding. You can't fool me. Tell me your troubles."
"I don't know you."
"You don't have to know a person to tell her your troubles. I sometimes tell mine to the cat that camps out on the wall opposite my room. What did you want to leave the country for, with the summer just coming on?"
She didn't answer, but I could see it coming, so I sat still and waited. And presently she seemed to make up her mind that, even if it was no business of mine, it would be a relief to talk about it.
"We're on our honeymoon. Charlie wanted to come to New York. I didn't want to, but he was set on it. He has been here before."
"So he told me."
"He's crazy about New York."
"But you're not?"
"I hate it."
"What's your kick?"
She dug away at the red plush with the hatpin, picking out little bits and dropping them over the edge. I could see she was bracing herself to put me wise to the whole trouble. There's a time comes, when things aren't going right and you've had all you can stand, when you've got to tell somebody about it, no matter who it is.
"I hate New York," she said, getting it out with a rush at last. "I'm scared of it. It — it isn't fair, Charlie bringing me here. I didn't want to come. I knew what would happen. I felt it all along."
"What do you reckon will happen, then?"
She must have picked away an inch of the red plush before she answered. It was lucky that Jimmy, the balcony waiter, didn't see her. It would have broken his heart. He's as proud of that red plush as if he had paid for it himself.
"When I first went to Rodney," she said, "two years ago — we moved there from Illinois—and began to get to know people, I found there was a man there named Tyson, Jack Tyson, who lived all alone and didn't seem to want to know anybody. I couldn't understand it, till someone told me all about him. I can understand it now. Jack Tyson married a Rodney girl, and they came to the city for their honeymoon, just like us. And when they got there I guess she got to comparing him with the fellows she saw and comparing the city with Rodney, and when she got home she just couldn't settle down."
"After they had been back in Rodney for a little while she ran away — back to the city, I guess."
"And he got a divorce, I suppose?"
"He didn't?"
"He still thinks she may come back to him."
"Still thinks she may come back? After three years?"
"Yes. He keeps her things just the same as she left them — everything the same as when she went away."
"But isn't he sore at her for what she did? If I was a man and a girl treated me that way I'd be apt to swing on her, if she tried to show up again."
"He wouldn't. Nor would I, if — if anything like that happened to me. I'd wait and wait, and go on hoping all the time. And I'd go down to the depot every afternoon to meet the train, just like Jack Tyson."
Something splashed on the tablecloth. It made me jump.
"For the love of Mike!" I said. "What's the trouble? Brace up! I know it's a sad story, but it's not your funeral."
"It is. It is. The same thing's going to happen to me."
"Take a hold on yourself. Don't cry like that!"
"I can't help it. Oh, I knew it would happen. It's happening right now. Look — look at him!"
I glanced over the rail, and I saw what she meant. There was her Charlie, cutting up all over the floor as if he had just discovered that he hadn't lived till then. I saw him say something to the girl he was dancing with. I wasn't near enough to hear him, but I bet it was "This is the life!" If I had been his wife and in the same position as this kid, I guess I'd have felt as bad as she did, for if ever a man exhibited all the symptoms of incurable Newyorkitis, it was this Charlie Ferris.
"I'm not like these New York girls," she choked. "I'm not smart. I don't want to be. I just want to live at home and be quiet and happy. I knew it would happen if we came to the city. He looks down on me. He doesn't think me good enough for him."
"Stop it! Pull yourself together!"
"And I do love him so."
Goodness knows what I should have said if I could have thought of anything to say. Seeing someone really up against it simply makes a dummy of me, as if somebody had turned off my ideas with a tap. But just then the music stopped, and somebody on the floor below began to speak.
"Ladeez 'n' gemmen! There will now take place our great num-bah contest. This gen-u-ine sporting contest…"
It was Izzy Baermann, doing his nightly spiel, introducing the lovely silver cup; and it meant that, for me, duty called. From where I was sitting I could see Izzy looking anxiously about the room, and I knew that he was looking for me. It's the management's nightmare that one of these evenings Mabel or I won't show up and some stranger will get away with the lovely cup. It doesn't cost above ten dollars, that cup, but they would hate to have it go out of the family.
"Sorry I've got to go," I said. "I have to be in this."
And then suddenly I had the great idea. It came to me like a flash. I looked at her, and I looked over the rail at Charlie, the Debonair Pride of Ashley, and I knew that this was where I got a cinch on my place in the Hall of Fame, along with the great thinkers of the age.
I took her by the shoulder and shook her — shook her good.
"Come on!" I said. "Stop crying and powder your nose, and get a move on. You're going to dance this."
She looked up at me as if I had suggested that she should jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
"But I couldn't!"
"You're going to!"
"But Charlie doesn't want to dance with me."
"It may have escaped your notice, but your Charlie is not the only man here. I'm going to dance with Charlie myself, and I'll introduce you to someone who can go through the movements. Listen!"
"The lady of each competing couple" — this was Izzy, getting it off his diaphragm — "will receive a ticket containing a num-bah. The dance will then proceed, and the num-bahs will be eliminated one by one, those called out by the judge kindly returning to their seats as their numbah is called. The num-bah finally remaining is the winning num-bah. This contest is a genuine sporting contest decided purely by the skill of the holders of the various num-bahs, as judged upon by the competent judge appointed by the management." Izzy stopped blushing at the age of six. "Will ladies now kindly step forward and receive their num-bahs? The winner, the holder of the num-bah left on the floor when the other num-bahs have been eliminated" — I could see Izzy getting more and more uneasy, wondering where on earth I'd got to — "will receive this love-r-ly silver cup, presented by the management. Ladies will now kindly step forward and receive their num-bahs!"
I turned to the kid.
"There," I said, "wouldn't you like to win a love-r-ly silver cup?"
"But I couldn't."
"You never know your luck."
"But it isn't luck. Didn't you hear him say? It's a contest decided purely by skill."
"Well, try your skill then. For the love of Mike," I said, "show a little pep. Exhibit some ginger. You aren't a quitter, are you? Aren't you ready to stir a finger to keep your Charlie? I thought you had more sand. Suppose you win, think what it will mean. He will look up to you for the rest of your life. When he starts yawping about New York all you will have to say is 'New York? Ah, yes, that was the town where I won the love-r-ly silver cup, was it not?' And he'll drop as if you had hit him behind the ear with a sand-bag. Can't you see that this is your chance to get the ball and chain on him for the term of his natural life? Pull yourself together and try!"
Well, the girl had sand, after all. I saw those brown eyes of hers flash.
"I'll try," she said after a second.
"Good for you! Now get those tears dried off and fix yourself up, and I'll go down and get the tickets."
Izzy was mighty relieved when I bore down on him. "Gee!" he said. "You got my goat! I thought you was sick or something. Here's your ticket!"
"I want two, Izzy. One's for a friend of mine. And say, Izzy, I'd take it as a personal favor if you could square the competent judge appointed by the management to let her stop on the floor as one of the last two couples. There's a reason. She's a kid from the country, and she wants to make a hit."
"Sure," said Izzy, "that'll be all right. Here are the tickets." He lowered his voice. "Yours is thirty-six, hers is ten. Don't forget and go mixing them up!"
I went back to the balcony. On the way I got hold of Charlie.
"We're dancing this together," I said.
He grinned all across his face. I could hear him saying to himself: "Am I a hit? I guess not!"
I found Mrs. Charlie looking as if she had never shed a tear in her life. She certainly had pluck, that kid. Her eyes were shining, and she was bursting to get action.
"Come along!" I said. "Stick to your ticket like glue and watch your step!"
I guess you have seen these sporting contests at Geisenheimer's. Or, if you haven't seen them at Geisenheimer's, you've probably seen them someplace else. They're all the same.
When we began, the floor was crowded so that there was hardly standing room. Don't tell me there aren't any optimists nowadays! Why, everyone was looking as if they were the guys who had put the trot in fox-trot and was wondering whether to have the cup in the parlor or the bedroom. You never saw such a happy, hopeful crowd in your life.
Presently Izzy gave tongue. The management expects him to pull some comedy stuff on these occasions, so he did his best.
"Num-bahs seven, eleven, and twenty-one will kindly rejoin their sorrowing friends."
That gave us a little more elbowroom, and the band started again.
I want to go back, I want to go back,
I want to go back to the farm,
Far away from harm,
I miss the rooster,
The one that useter
Wake me up at four a. m.
I think your great big city's
Very pretty,
But nevertheless I want to be there. . ..
"Num-bahs thirteen, sixteen and seventeen, goodbye!" Off we went again.
I was born in Michigan,
And I wish and wish again
That I was back
In the town where I was born. . .
"Num-bah twelve, we hate to part with you, but — back to your table!"
A plump dame in a red hat, who had been dancing with a kind smile as if she were doing it to amuse the children, left the floor.
"Num-bahs six, fifteen and twenty, thumbs down!"
And pretty soon the only couples left were Charlie and me, Mrs. Charlie and the fellow I'd introduced her to, and a bald- headed man and a girl in a white hat. He was one of your stick-at-it performers. He had been dancing all the evening. I had noticed him from the balcony. From up there he looked like a hard-boiled egg.
He was a trier all right, that guy, and had things been otherwise than what they were, so to speak, I'd have been glad to see him win. But it was not to be. Ah, no!
"Num-bah nineteen, you're getting all flushed. Take a rest!"
So there it was, a straight sporting contest between me and Charlie, and Mrs. Charlie and her man. Every nerve in my system was trembling with excitement, was it not? It was not.
Charlie hadn't a suspicion of the state of the drama. As I've already hinted, he wasn't a dancer who took much of his attention off his feet while in. action. He was there to do his durnedest, not to inspect objects of interest by the wayside. The correspondence college he had graduated from doesn't guarantee to teach you to do two things at once when it mails you your diploma.
He was breathing heavily down my neck, with eyes glued to the floor. All he knew was that the sporting contest had thinned out some, and the honor of Ashley, Maine, was in his hands.
You know how the public begins to sit up and take notice when these dance contests have been narrowed down to two couples. There are evenings when I quite forget myself, when I'm one of the last two left in, and get all excited.
There's a sort of hum in the air, and as you go round the room people at the tables start applauding. Why, if you weren't wise to the inner workings of the thing you'd be all of a twitter.
It didn't take my practiced ear long to get next to the fact that it wasn't me and Charlie that the great public was rooting for. We would go round the floor without getting a hand, and every time Mrs. Charlie and her guy got to a corner there was a noise like election night.
I took a look at her across the floor, and I didn't wonder that she was making a hit. Say, she was a different kid. I never saw anyone look so happy and pleased with herself. Her eyes were like lamps, and her cheeks all pink, and she was going to it like a champion. I knew what had made the hit with the people. It was the look of her. She made you think of fresh milk and new- laid eggs and birds singing. Just to take a slant at her was like getting away to the country in August. It's funny about guys who live all the time in the city. They chuck out their chests, and talk about little old New York being good enough for them, and there's a street in heaven they call Broadway, and all the rest of it, but it seems to me that what they really live for is the three weeks in the summer when they get away into the country. I knew exactly why they were rooting so hard for Mrs. Charlie. She made them think of their vacation which was coming along, when they would go and board at the farm, and drink out of the old oaken bucket, and call the cows by their first names.
Gee! I felt like that myself. All day the country had been tugging at me, and now it tugged worse than ever.
I could have smelled the new-mown hay if it hadn't been that when you're at Geisenheimer's you have to smell Geisenheimer's and nothing else, because it leaves no chance for competition.
"'At-a-boy!" I breathed into Charlie's ear. " Keep-a-working. It looks to me as if we were going back in the betting."
"Uh-huh!" he grunted, too busy to blink.
"Pull some of those fancy steps of yours. We need them in our business."
And the way that boy worked — it was a sin!
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Izzy Baermann, and he wasn't looking happy. He was nerving himself for one of those quick referee's decisions — the sort you make and then duck under the ropes and run five miles to avoid the incensed populace. It was this sort of thing happening now and again that prevented Izzy's job, otherwise one of the world's softest, from being the perfect cinch. Mabel Francis told me that one night, when Izzy declared her the winner of the great sporting contest, it was such raw work that she thought there'd hp.ve been a riot. It looked pretty much as if he was afraid the same thing was going to happen now. There wasn't a doubt which of us two couples were the one the customers wanted to see pull down that love-r-ly silver cup. It was a walk-over for Mrs. Charlie, and Charlie and I were simply among those present.
But Izzy had his duty to do, and drew a pay envelope for doing it, so he moistened his lips, looked round to see that his strategic railroads weren't blocked, swallowed twice, pulled at his collar, and said in a husky voice:
"Num-bah ten, please re-tiah!"
I stopped at once.
"Come along," I said to Charlie. "That's our exit cue."
And we walked off the floor, amidst applause.
"Well," says Charlie, taking out his handkerchief and attending to his brow, which was like the village blacksmith's, "we didn't do so bad, did we? We didn't do so bad, I guess! We —"
And he looks up at the balcony, expecting to see the dear little wife draped over it with that worshiping look in her eyes, adoring him. And just as his eye is moving up, it gets caught by the sight of her a whole heap lower down than he had expected — on the floor, in fact, behaving like Mrs. Castle and the Dolly Sisters rolled into one.
She wasn't doing much in the worshiping line just then. She was too busy.
It was a regular triumphal procession for the kid. She couldn't have felt much more popular if she had been Queen of Coney at the Mardi Gras. She and her partner were doing one or two rounds now for exhibition purposes, like the winning couple always does at Geisenheimer's, and the room was fairly rising at them. You'd have thought from the way they clapped that they had been betting all their spare cash on her.
Charlie gets her well-focused, then he lets his jaw drop till it pretty near bumped against the floor.
"But — but — but —" he began.
"I know," I said. "It begins to look as if she could dance well enough for the city after all. It begins to look as if she had sort of put one over on somebody, don't it! It begins to look as if it were a pity you didn't think of dancing with her yourself."
"I — I — I —" "You come along and have a nice cold drink," I said, "and you'll soon pick up."
He tottered after me to a table, looking as if he had been hit by a street car. He had got his.
I was so busy looking after Charlie, flapping the towel and working on him with the oxygen, that, if you'll believe me, it wasn't for quite a time that I thought of glancing round and finding out how the thing had struck Izzy Baermann.
If you can imagine a fond and trusting father whose only son has swung on him with a brick, jumped on his stomach, and then gone South with all his money, you have a pretty good notion of how poor Izzy looked. He was staring at me across the room and talking to himself and jerking his hands about. Whether he thought he was talking to me or whether he was rehearsing the scene where he broke it to the boss that a mere stranger had got away with his love-r-ly silver cup, I don't know. Whichever it was, he was being mighty eloquent.
I gave him a nod, as much as to say that it would all come right in the future, and then I turned to Charlie again. He was beginning to pick up.
"She won the cup!" he said in a dazed voice, looking at me as if he expected me to do something about it.
"You bet she did!"
"But — but — well, what do you know about that!"
I saw the moment had come to put it straight to him.
"I'll tell you what I know about it," I said. "If you take my advice you'll hustle that kid straight back to Ashley, or wherever it is that you poison the natives by making up the wrong prescriptions, before she gets New York into her system so deep that you can't get it out. Otherwise you're in for trouble. When I was talking to her upstairs she was telling me about a fellow in her village who got it in the neck just the same as you're apt to do."
He started.
"She was telling you about Jack Tyson?"
"That was his name. It seems he lost his wife by letting her have too much Broadway. Say, don't you think it's funny she should have mentioned him, if she hadn't had some notion that she might act the same way his wife did?"
He turned quite green.
"You don't think she would do that!"
"Well, if you had heard her! She couldn't talk of anything except this Tyson and what his wife did to him. She spoke of it sort of sad, kind of regretful, as if she was sorry but felt that it had to be. I could see she had been thinking about it a whole lot."
Charlie stiffened in his seat, and then began to melt with pure fright. He held up his empty glass with a shaking hand and took a long drink out of it. It didn't take much observation to see that he had had the jolt he wanted and was going to be quite a lot less jaunty and metropolitan from now on. In fact, the way he looked, I suspected that he was through with metropolitan jauntiness for the rest of his life.
"I'll take her home tomorrow," he said. "But — will she come?"
"That's up to you. If you get real smooth and persuasive, maybe… Here she is now. I should get busy at once."
Mrs. Charlie, carrying the cup, came to the table. I was wondering what would be the first thing she would say. If it had been Charlie in the same position, of course he would have said "This is the life!" but I looked for something snappier from her. If I had been in her place there were at least ten things I could have thought of to say, each nastier than the other.
She sat down and put the cup on the table. Then she gave the cup a long look. Then she drew a deep breath. Then she looked at Charlie.
"Oh, Charlie dear," she said, "I do wish I had been dancing with you!"
Well, I'm not sure, but I guess that that must have stung about as much as any of the things I would have said.
Charlie got right off the mark. After what I had told him he wasn't wasting any time.
"Darling," he said humbly, "you're a wonder. What will they say about this at home!"
He did pause here for a moment, for it took nerve to say it; but then he went right on.
"Mary, how would it be if we went home right away — first train tomorrow — and showed the folks the cup?"
"Oh, Charlie!" she said.
His face lit up as if someone had pulled a switch.
"You will? You don't want to stop on? You aren't crazy about New York?"
"If there was a train I'd start tonight. But I thought you loved the city so, Charlie?"
He gave a sort of shiver.
"I never want to see it again in my life!" he said.
"You'll excuse me," I said, getting up. "I think there's a friend of mine wants to speak to me."
And I crossed the room to where Izzy had been standing for the last five minutes, making signals to me with his eyebrows.
You couldn't have called Izzy coherent at first. He certainly had trouble with his vocal cords, poor fellow! There was one of those African explorer men used to come to Geisenheimer's a lot when he was home from roaming the trackless desert, and he used to tell me about tribes he'd met, who didn't use real words at all but talked to one another in clicks and gurgles. He pulled some of their chatter one night to amuse me and, believe me, Izzy Baermann was talking the same language now. Only he wasn't doing it to amuse me.
He was like one of those talking machines when it's getting into its stride.
"Be calm, Isadore," I said. "Something is troubling you. Tell me all about it!"
He clicked some more, and then he got it out.
"I'm not. Why do you ask?"
"What did you do it for? Didn't I tell you as plain as I could, didn't I tell you twenty times, when you came for the tickets, that yours was thirty-six?"
"Didn't you say my friend's was thirty-six?"
"Are you deaf? I said hers was ten."
"Then," I said handsomely, "say no more. The mistake was mine. It begins to look as if I must have got them mixed."
He did a few Swedish exercises.
"Say no more? That's good! That's great! That's the best I've heard! You've got the nerve! I will say that."
"It was a lucky mistake of mine, Izzy. It saved your life. These guys would have lynched you if you had given me the cup instead of her. They were solid for her all right."
"Never mind about that. What's the boss going to say when I tell him?"
"Forget the boss! Haven't you any romance in your system, Izzy? Look at those two, sitting there with their heads together. Isn't it worth a silver cup to have made them happy for life? They are on their honeymoon, Izzy. Tell the boss exactly what happened, and say that I thought it was up to Geisenheimer's to give them a wedding present."
He clicked for a spell.
"Ah!" he said. "Ah! Now you've said it! Now you've given yourself away! You did it on purpose. You meant to mix those tickets. I thought as much. Say, who do you think you are, getting fresh that way? Don't you know that professional dancers are three for ten cents? I could go right out now and whistle and get a dozen girls for your job. Just one minute after I tell the boss what you've done you'll find yourself fired."
"No, I shan't, Izzy, because I'm going to resign."
"You'd better!"
"That's what I think. I'm sick of this joint, Izzy. I'm sick of dancing. I'm sick of Broadway. I'm sick of everything. I'm going back to the country while the going is good. I thought I had got gingham and sunbonnets clear out of my system, but I hadn't. You can write this out and stick it up over your shaving mirror, Izzy, because it's true: Once a rube, always a rube. I've suspected it for a long, long time, and tonight I know it. Tell the boss that I'm sorry, but it had to be done. And if he wants to talk back, he'll have to do it by mail. Mrs. John Tyson, General Delivery, Rodney, Maine, is the address."
Classic Fiction, Fiction
"Francine" by Booth Tarkington
Booth Tarkington
"The Third Casket" by F. Scott Fitzgerald
"The Castle Secret" by James Helvick
James Helvick


When someone says the word metabolism, what comes to mind? For most people, it's weight loss. They think of metabolism in terms of "fast" or "slow" and being able to down a pint of ice cream without gaining weight. But the ability to lose/maintain/gain weight easily is only a small part of what the word metabolism actually means.
Metabolism: the sum total of all hormonal and metabolic processes within the body that are involved in maintaining life.
Or in layman's terms, how efficiently your body is functioning at a cellular level. Is your body producing enough energy to function optimally?
So how do you boost your metabolism? Both for weight loss and in order for your body to function like it should?
Eating enough is key. The body needs fuel as calories. I think that there is a common pattern, especially for women, to try very low-calorie diets in an effort to lose weight. The weight often comes back, often more so. Then they diet again. This "yo yo" pattern is especially hard on the metabolism. Weight loss should be slow and healthy habits maintained for life.
At Pulling Down the Moon, our fertility nutrition programs promote clean eating – nutrient-dense foods, healthy carbohydrates, and healthy fats. First Line Therapy for Fertility (FLTF), our weight loss program, promotes these same concepts along with slow weight loss. You won't be hungry or feel deprived with any of our programs. In fact, you might be eating more that you're used to!
The dietitians at Pulling Down the Moon can help you find that food/calorie "sweet spot" that helps your body function optimally and if weight loss is desired, helps you lose weight in a manner conducive to fertility.
Nutrition consultations available in person and via phone/Skype. Call 301-610-7755 to book your session in DC Metro or 312-321-0004 in Chicagoland.


Oil Pricing Mechanisms is an online training course that provides a comprehensive guide to the pricing mechanisms used in the wholesale oil trading markets. You'll learn about the history of oil pricing, including the use of fixed pricing and netbacks for crude oil contracts. We'll cover the components that are used in oil pricing, including units, averaging periods, benchmarks and Incoterms. We'll review the methodologies used by the main price reporting agencies, and will assess the links between physical and paper market prices, including the use of EFPs.


Predict two (2) ways you will be able to apply these concepts to your current job and career in the future.
1. Reflecting on the past ten (10) weeks, specify what you believe are the two (2) most important concepts you have learned in this course. Predict two (2) ways you will be able to apply these concepts to your current job and career in the future.
2. Give your opinion on the manner in which this course's learning outcomes contribute to the MBA curriculum. Provide a rationale for your response.


text:
EXCLUSIVE China to order Tencent Music to give up music label exclusivity -sources
The logo of China's Tencent Music Entertainment Group is seen next to an earphone in this illustration picture taken March 22, 2021. REUTERS/Florence Lo/Illustration
HONG KONG, July 12 (Reuters) – China's antitrust regulator is set to order the music streaming arm of Tencent Holdings Ltd (0700.HK) to give up exclusive rights to music labels which it has used to compete with smaller rivals, two people with knowledge of the matter said on Monday.
The State Administration of Market Regulation (SAMR) will also fine it 500,000 yuan ($77,150) for lapses in reporting the acquisitions of apps Kuwo and Kugou, the people told Reuters – a milder penalty than the forced sale indicated earlier this year.
SAMR, Tencent Holdings and Tencent Music Entertainment Group (TME.N) did not respond to Reuters' requests for comment.
The move is the latest in a clamp-down to curb the economic and social power of China's once-loosely regulated internet giants. The campaign, which began late last year, has included a record 18 billion yuan fine on e-commerce firm Alibaba Group Holding Ltd for abusing its market position.
In April, Reuters reported that SAMR aimed to fine Tencent Holdings at least 10 billion yuan, and that the social media leader was lobbying for leniency. Reuters also reported that SAMR had told Tencent Music it may have to sell Kuwo and Kugou.
Instead, SAMR will no longer require a sale but will impose the maximum 500,000 yuan fine for not properly flagging the 2016 app purchases for antitrust review, the people said on Monday.
"Personally, I think this punishment falls short and is even a boon for Tencent. The acquisitions obviously would restrict competition in the market, and should have been vetoed," said You Yunting, a lawyer with Shanghai-based DeBund Law Offices.
"It is too little a hit to Tencent Music's dominant position in the market," said You, a commentator on antitrust law.
Reuters could not determine whether Tencent Holdings faces any further antitrust penalty beyond the expected ruling on Tencent Music, China's dominant music streamer.
On Saturday, SAMR said it would block Tencent Holdings' plan to merge China's two biggest videogame streamers – Huya Inc (HUYA.N) and DouYu International Holdings Ltd – on antitrust grounds, confirming an earlier Reuters report. read more
Tencent Music, China's equivalent to Spotify Technology SA (SPOT.N), had been pursuing exclusive streaming rights with labels including Universal Music Group, Sony Music Group and Warner Music Group Corp (WMG.O) to fend off competition.
It became the subject of a SAMR investigation in 2018 which stopped the following year after the company agreed not to renew some of its exclusive rights, which normally expire after three years, Reuters previously reported.
It nevertheless kept exclusive rights to music from some acts, including Jay Chou, one of the Chinese-speaking world's most influential artists.
After SAMR's latest ruling, Tencent Music will at least be able to retain rights to music from some domestic indie acts, a person with knowledge of the matter told Reuters on Monday.
Losing exclusive rights means Tencent Music will likely have to redouble efforts to build a more interactive and lively community to engage with its users. The firm has also been diversifying its content through long-form shows and live talk shows to attract more paying users as well as advertisers.
Tencent Music is facing a mounting challenge from ByteDance, which is using its Douyin app – its Chinese version of TikTok – to promote music backed by sophisticated algorithms.
($1 = 0.1543 Chinese yuan renminbi)
Reporting by Pei Li; Editing by Tony Munroe and Christopher Cushing
https://www.reuters.com/world/china/exclusive-china-order-tencent-music-give-up-music-label-exclusivity-sources-2021-07-12/
China EXCLUSIVE exclusivity give label Music order sources Tencent
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Hosting Firm Shares Piece of the Pi With Local School
Article date: Tue, 25 Aug 2015 15:27 GMT
Cloud hosting firm UKFast has joined forces with The Dean Trust to launch a Raspberry Pi Cafe, bringing hands-on tech and computer science education to Broadoak School in Partington, Greater Manchester.
The centre gives students the opportunity to work with professionals from the Manchester-based internet firm and learn how the computers can be used in interesting ways - like transforming an old analogue radio into a digital one, or creating their own arcade style games.
The Raspberry Pi Cafe aims to help educate and inspire the next generation of tech superstars, showing them the workings of the tiny Raspberry Pi computers and making technology education relevant to everyday life.
The innovative equipment can be used to assemble a desktop computer for just a third of the cost of traditional IT hardware.
The cafe will also be open for use by the local community, providing adults with access to basic skills training, and children with a safe space to work after-school on a secure internet connection.
Tarun Kapur CBE, Chief Executive of The Dean Trust, said: "One of the things that we think inspires children is seeing applications that can do something in real life. Looking at the Raspberry Pi, the range of applications is huge and for the students to be inspired by demonstrations from professionals who are excited by the technology, it really engages them in a different way to the normal classroom environment.
"We're really pleased to be working alongside UKFast and we feel these projects will capture the imagination of our children. School is often more relevant when you are learning from people who are working with the applications in real life, and when they are as enthusiastic as the team at UKFast it's a great combination. We want to provide a dual route for these children; both vocational and academic."
Mike Ward, Group IT Manager of The Dean Trust, who project managed the Pi Café installation in conjunction with UKFast, said: "The launch of the Pi Cafe has been a team effort, with the students of Broadoak School at the heart of the project. We hope that the new Pi Cafe will be used both as part of curriculum development for Broadoak students, but also by the wider Partington Community, technology groups and after-school clubs."
Education has been a high priority for UKFast in recent years; its campus office on the edge of Manchester's Technology Park plays host to a dedicated teaching facility and cutting edge lab for training and development. The firm also runs an award-winning apprenticeship programme and has an ongoing relationship with 10% of schools in Greater Manchester.
UKFast CEO, Lawrence Jones MBE, said: "We need to run initiatives like this to engage the country's next generation of computer experts. The interest is there and so is the talent; we just need to make the connection between the devices which these young people are already engaged with and enjoy using, and the opportunity they have to get paid for experimenting with them.
"Traditional education can let some kids down. We need to give young people the opportunity to get their hands dirty with new technology to unearth their creative talents as an alternative to sitting in a classroom environment.
"We know the level of poverty in some areas of Greater Manchester, but there is no reason - given the right opportunities and encouragement - that kids from these areas can't be the tech entrepreneurs of the future. When we're putting the latest kit straight into their hands to experiment with, we feel they have a better chance."
Having already committed £4.5m to training and development as a company, UKFast has ongoing plans for educational schemes across the UK. These include continued work with the Dean Trust as well as further Raspberry Pi projects to engage and inspire the next wave of tech talent and combat the UK's digital skills gap.
"Our partnership with UKFast is so vital; it gives our students a real insight into the world of ICT."
"We spread the word that we work with UKFast, to show we take our hosting seriously."
Crossover Technologies
"We've found UKFast consistent in delivering secure and reliable hosting to all our clients - which is exactly what we need from a hosting provider."
One Creations


Get the latest Shane Mosley news, photos, rankings, lists and more on Bleacher Report. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Search, discover and share your favorite Shane Mosley GIFs. The best GIFs are on GIPHY.


We are big fans of spicy food, especially curries. Now that the evenings are getting darker, and colder, there's nothing better than a big bowl of comfort food. This potato, spinach and chickpea curry is most definitely that. Full of yummy veggies with a kick of spiciness it's great for autumn/winter. The coconut milk provides a coolness for the spice. It's also really easy to make which is always good. I actually found the recipe on Jamie Oliver's site and have changed it slightly. I cook it longer than he said as I found my potatoes weren't very soft. I also reduced down the amount of onion in it, but you can always add more if you want to.
Finely chop the chilli, then peel and finely grate the ginger. Pick the coriander leaves and finely slice the stalks. Chop the potatoes into 2cm chunks.
Add the chilli, ginger, coriander stalks and potato to the softened onion. Drain and tip in the chickpeas, then cook for 5 minutes.
Remove the lid, then cook for a further 30 to 45 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until the sweet potato is cooked through and the sauce thickened.
Scatter over the coriander leaves, then serve with rice.
Although the recipe says sweet potatoes you can use normal ones, you could also add more vegetables if you want. We've tried it with aubergine, cauliflower, peppers and it's been nice every time. This recipe also makes a huge amount so it's great for freezing or eating the next day as left overs. If you like curry and vegetables this is definitely one you should try out.
Oh hello this looks bloody yum!! This is on my meal plan for this week!!


text:
Glossary | Sitemap | Useful links | Contract Plan | Contact	|
Highway concession
Recourse to PPP
Selection of the Operator
The toll
Home » Highway concession
Reasons for opting for PPP for the proposed Dakar-Diamnadio toll highway.
PPP, what does it mean?
Public Private Partnership is an infrastructure financing technique whereby the State enters into a partnership with the private sector to provide public services to the populations.
The concept which stemmed from the traditional concession contracts used in France since 1950, was introduced in England, in the 90s.
In effect, it was in 1992 that the British Government faced, on the one hand with severe budgetary constraints, and on the other with numerous criticisms of privatisation had to reflect on a new public investment financing formula. Thus, the Public Finance Initiative (PFI) policy which consisted in an acceptable compromise was launched by the Government of Prime Minister John Major and led to the financing of construction of public buildings and provision of equipment thanks to private capital such that public expenditure was spread over several decades in the form of monthly payments for the provision of services.
Tony Blair 's Government came into office with an ambitious social infrastructure construction programme but in the face of deepening budgetary constraints, decided to pursue the PFI policy, but then to underscore its departure from PFI developed the concept of Public Private Partnership (PPP).
Thus the concept of Public Private Partnership was launched and has since started to spread worldwide, both in the developed and developing countries.
A Public-Private Partnership (PPP) can be considered as a contract:
In the long term through which a public authority, be it central (State) or decentralised (Municipality) enters into a partnership with the public sector for the design and/or implementation and/or operation of public services.
A contract which stipulates expected outcomes for improved service delivery to citizens.
A contract which makes provisions for sharing of responsiblities, risks, and profits between public and private partnerships.
A PPP is therefore different from privatisation, compared to traditional systems of State-Private collaboration such as service contracts. Management contracts or leasing contracts, PPPs are indeed innovative.
PPPs, depending on the level of sharing of risks and participation of the private sector can be in various forms, the most common being BOT (Build-Operate-Transfer).
Since 2004, when Senegal passed laws 2004-13 and 2004-14, a legislative and institutional mechanism has been put in place for the development of this funding mechanism for public investment.
Why should States resort to PPP?
Recourse to PPP is both advantageous for the State and for end users. The main benefits of PPP include:
Easing of the infrastructure burden on the National budget : PPP helps the State face up to its budgetary constraints. Due to its high cost, the financing of social infrastructure affects the financial capacity of the State considerably. Recourse to PPP may also make it possible to vire funds for social expenditure which is not likely to be funded under a PPP partnership. For example, in the road sector which concerns us here, the State can choose the PPP option to finance urban road works which are financially viable and take on board in the national budget the construction of low traffic but economically important agricultural earth roads. Traffic studies and economic studies on the Dakar Diamniadio Motorway have shown that this project will be very profitable.
Improvement of the quality of public service : Often for legitimate reasons, public authority is governed by a set of rules and procedures which far from flexible. These rules sometimes lead to poor adaptation of resources to the expected objectives, engendering inefficiency. Engaging the private sector and its dynamism and know-how in the area of technology and creativity, through PPP, allows the Public sector to place at the disposal of user better quality of services. In effect, applied research, technological discovery, and innovation are increasingly becoming the preserve of private firms and quality, a requirement for consumers. Furthermore, the private sector has an incentive and sanctions system (peer pressure from the competition, fear of bankruptcy) which incites it to be more disciplined and efficient than the public sector which is oftentimes motive by the general interest of the public. Recourse to PPP can therefore lead to better quality services for users. Recourse to PPP can also be motivated, for example, by the recurring problems of maintenance dogging our roads.
Investment promotion : Public Private Partnership makes it possible to boost private investment and the quality of the business environment. Considering the fact that there is a clear correlation between investment and infrastructure, PPP should justifiably be considered as a means of boosting investment, economic growth and development.
Transfer of the State's risks : provision of public goods and services, just as any production activity comes generally with its share of risks of a technical or commercial nature. In totally public systems with traditional financial techniques, the State bears the totality of risks linked to the execution of these projects. PPP entail the transfer to private partners certain risks which they are in a better position to manage than the State. For proposed the Dakar-Diamniadio Toll Motorway, a sizable proportion of the risk linked to the design, construction and operation of the highway is transferred to the private partner.
These different elements justify the relevance and timeliness of Public Private Partnerships which are a win-win proposition for the users, the State and the Private sector.
The reasons for opting for PPP in the implementation of the Dakar Diamniadio toll highway project.
By passing law n°2004-13 on 1st March 2004, on BOT Contracts, Senegal opted for a new legal instrument which expanded the spectrum of public contracts in Senegal.
Before the adoption of this law, our country lacked the appropriate tools for PPP in its own legal arsenal whereas the latter constitutes a popular option in the implementation of major infrastructure in the public interest.
The Dakar-Diamniadio Motorway Project is the first project developed within the framework of this law. The reasons for this option are, among others:
The strategic orientation espoused over the years by the Government of Senegal to boost private investment. Recourse to Public Private Partnership for the implementation of the Dakar Diamiadio motorway project and its operations will contribute to increased private sector investment in Senegal;
This motorway project has a high priority rating in view of the important role it is bound to play :
profitability of the Dakar Diamniadio route attested to by the traffics studies and toll acceptability studies ;
The willingness of the State to minimise the impact of major works in view of their size, on the State budget.
Copyright 2011 - Apix sa


text:
<?php

/*
 * This file is part of the Active Collab Authentication project.
 *
 * (c) A51 doo <info@activecollab.com>. All rights reserved.
 */

declare(strict_types=1);

namespace ActiveCollab\Authentication\Test\TestCase;

use PHPUnit\Framework\TestCase as BaseTestCase;

abstract class TestCase extends BaseTestCase
{
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub