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Keith Richards: Rap is for the 'tone deaf' & 'Rap – so many words, so little said'
Keith Richards has another hilarious new interview out this week. About a month ago, Keith sat down with Esquire for what turned out to be rollicking, funny bitchfest about life, love, the Stones and more. Keith is promoting his first solo album in more than a decade, Cross-eyed Heart. Which is why he agreed to sit down with the NY Daily News and once again come out with some #HardTruths about music, Mick Jagger's snobbery, and how the Stones are a "painful democracy." You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:
On today's rock music: "It sounds like a dull thud to me. For most bands, getting the syncopation is beyond them. It's endless thudding away, with no bounce, no lift, no syncopation."
On heavy metal: "Millions are in love with Metallica and Black Sabbath. I just thought they were great jokes."
On rap: "Rap — so many words, so little said. What rap did that was impressive was to show there are so many tone-deaf people out there. All they need is a drum beat and somebody yelling over it and they're happy. There's an enormous market for people who can't tell one note from another."
Working with the Stones: He calls the Stones "my baby." He refers to that band's inner workings as a "painful democracy."
Mick Jagger is a snob: "I'll reinforce that. His daughter, Georgia Mae, was sitting around in my room and she said, 'oh, you know what dad's like. He's such a snob.' He can come off that way even to me and the rest of the band. He comes on the plane and doesn't say, 'Hey mate.' He's preoccupied with something really boring. He's a control freak. He likes to know everything that's going on. He lost himself a bit in the details." Even so, Richards makes sure to say of Jagger, "he's a hell of a frontman," and "I still love him dearly," while adding "your friends don't have to be perfect."
On the Beatles: "As a band, they weren't in sync with each other," Richards says. In fact, Richards moved on from his Beatles fandom a long time ago. "When it got to (seeing the guru) Maharishi (in '67), I gave up."
His image as a hellion: "I can drag that image around — the Keith with a bottle of bourbon in one hand and a joint in the other. It's a ball and chain. At the same time, I take it as a privilege to be taken into people's hearts and minds. I feel like I'm doing all these things that they can't do in a 9 to 5 job. In a way they're saying, 'Go ahead, Keith.' They're giving me license…and I've taken full use of it."
The only drug he uses these days is pot: "It's just a lift. It gives you a slightly different perception of your surroundings. To me, pot is just fun. And I'm glad to see the rest of the country is coming around to my way of seeing things."
The band dynamics: "If you're in a band, you have to sublimate yourself to each other. What's the point of being in a band when you want to be numero uno? It's got nothing to do with flash — and all to do with keeping the pulse going."
[From The NYDN]
I wonder if Keith has certain artists or acts in mind when he's talking about rock and rap music. Like, sometimes I'll listen to some of the new rap artists and I'll just think, "Really?" Of course, I'm sure in some circles, Maroon 5 is considered "rock" and if Keith is talking about Adam Levine, then more power to him. But I would be crushed if Keith was talking about a real rock band like Radiohead or something. As for Mick's snobbery… yes, I'll believe that. I also believe that Mick is probably incredibly detail-oriented and hyper-organized and that's one of the big reasons that the Stones are still touring and making crazy money.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
149 Responses to "Keith Richards: Rap is for the 'tone deaf' & 'Rap – so many words, so little said'"
Tiffany27 says:
He's not dead?
Nope! He's out on his lawn yelling. With a flask of whiskey tucked in his robe pocket of coarse.
Misti64 says:
@Cindy – HAHAHA
knower says:
@Cindy +10000000000000 lol
enuff said says:
Agree with everything he said…with exception to The Beatles …don't talk smack about 'my band'…my memories.
meme says:
true dat, keef! I love him. he's the real rock and roll deal.
Love him too! You're right, he's the real deal.
Bfwwwff says:
Didn't he once trash Little Maple Leaf?
Darkladi says:
Carry on, mate!!
Who ARE these people? says:
"Rap — so many words, so little said."
"Brown Sugar. How come you dance so good."
Now that's literature.
Ac18 says:
The lyrics are "brown sugar. How come you taste so good". Get it right if you're going to judge.
Imo says:
What a reductive, obnoxiously myopic statement about an art form you obviously know nothing about. Educate yourself or at least try not to put your ignorance on display.
FingerBinger says:
You understand that comment is making fun of Keith's comment by quoting Rolling Stone's lyrics?
FingerBinger
Oh okay, sorry. I was rage responding. I'm just so fed up with similar notions. Never liked the Stones – Beatles 4eva so…apologies to op.
Rap is cRap. Bad poetry set to a computer drum. Any moron can do it.
Stones over Beatles any day of the week, but rap is an art form. If you don't like it, don't listen to it, but to say that it's somehow less than rock n' roll is bullshit.
I believe he is speaking about rap from a strictly musical perspective, NOT lyrically. He is speaking from the perspective of a guitarist, so we need to look at his statement in regards to ONLY the instrumentation. The music in rap is lyrical; the words form the rhythm and beat that would normally be created by a backing band. In my opinion, what makes the Stones great is the music behind the lyrics. What makes rap great is the lyrics and message, not the beat and music behind them. In his book and in his interviews, he only talks about the instrumentation behind the lyrics, so it doesn't surprise me that he says, "so many words, so little said." I don't think he's listening to the words.
Also, I think lyrics and rap, in general, are multilayered in that the writer has a meaning they ascribe to the words and the listener then ascribes their own understanding of the lyrics, as well as what they think the writer meant. Obviously, this doesn't necessarily apply to all lyrics and rap, as some can be heard literally, so that can add another dimension.
In either case, everyone has their own subjective taste in music and the only opinion that matters is your own.
JoJo, thanks very much. That was a refreshing explanation and viewpoint.
You're probably right too in that I expect Keith is about the music rather than the words. It would make sense then that he can't understand value in heavy metal or rap.
Or, I can't get no satisfaction I can't get no satisfaction I dun tried I dun tried I dun tried I dun tried I can't get no satisfaction
Jaded says:
Then there's this:
"She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows, she comes and goes
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you
Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost, at such a cost
"There's no time to lose", I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind
Ain't life unkind?
Sof says:
At least those dumb lyrics are paired with good music. Can't say that about bad rap, most beats sound the same.
Now being serious, I can't think of a single music genre which doesnt use nonsensical lyrics to sell.
Saks says:
Also the time and context. It's unfair to compare the lyrics of The Stones in the 60′s to the mainstream rap "lyrics" which for our age and time frankly suck
Chica says:
I disagree that rap all sounds the same and that there aren't good beats paired with meaningful lyrics.
To generalize and diss a whole genre music that speaks to the oppression and life of a whole race of people just pisses me off to no end. Yet, rap and hip hop culture is among the highest exported good around the world. Just love it when the privileged try degrade and discount something that they haven't created and that doesn't relate to them: "This is not inclusive of me therefor is must be garbage…"
LeAnn Stinks says:
Actually, the line is "Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good?," which makes more sense.
Secondly, many artists suffer from trite lyrics, even the great Beatles. "She Loves You" and "I Want To Hold Your Hand" are two such examples.
Finally, I have to agree with Richards. I always was never a fan of Rap. But, I have to admit compared to what it has morphed into today, classic rap like Run DMC, Young MC, etc, were poetic geniuses. But, to each their own.
I just started listening to rap. I really like listening to the lyrics. Lots of rap songs are short stories, with plot twists and turns. Yesterday I found myself laughing out loud while on my way to work on my bicycle, listening to Jay-Z. He has some really clever and funny lyrics.
@leeann stinks…unless you grew up in the mid 60′s…amidst the teen age angst that were the Beatles and the Stones…not sure anybody would 'get it' who didn't experience it first hand…the beatles were great lyricists…they had a profound affect on everyone…period.
Oh geez, I was just having fun.
And the lyric – how you come you taste so good instead of dance so good? This changes everything. Thanks!
Now, how about that CCR song: "There's a bathroom on the right…"
Crumpet says:
You know, of course, the CCR lyric goes "There's a bad moon on the rise."
Yes of course I know the real lyric. Everyone is so testy!
EscapedConvent says:
"'Scuse me while I kiss this guy…" —- Jimi Hendrix
Apologies! I was not being testy, I promise.
Thanks Crumpet.
Escaped — ha! Won't be listen to Hendrix the same way again.
Good read. I don't totally agree with his perception of music but the Rolling Stones still manage to pull off amazing live performances. And that's not by accident. Saw them this summer and it was a dream come true.
Lilacflowers says:
I've seen them a dozen times and never been disappointed. They take the performance seriously but you can also tell they love what they are doing and the joy carries through.
Shambles says:
"You can also tell they love what they are doing and the joy carries through."
And that really makes all the difference. I went to a music festival this summer, and I saw 2 different EDM artists. Altogether different genre, but you can still tell who has the joy and who doesn't. Deadmau5 was the first act I saw, and you could totally tell he was just phoning it in. It was just a stop on his tour. The next night I saw Bassnectar, and it was a whole different world. You could tell he absolutely loves what he does, and he was right there feeling every moment with us. That joy absolutely translated to his music, and it made such a huge difference.
That doesn't surprise me, Shambles.
The most bizarre live music experience I've ever had was seeing RAC with my brother a couple years ago. I guess I never actually thought about what it would be like, but there was no actual live singing…it was just a couple kids playing a couple guitars over pre-recorded tracks. Like, there was a laptop, but no turntable-ism and they basically only do remixes of other artists' music so they just played…other people's music.
If I had thought it through I think I could have anticipated that but…
Anyway, the whole performance was so passionless…so meh.
A- mazing performances!!! I've seen tons of acts live and really, the stones just blew them away. I saw the stones for the first time last year too.
ninal says:
Well he's cranky old pepaw age so yeah.
Mia4S says:
An opinion has been given!!! Attack Internet, attack!!
I can't stand about 98% of rap, hip hop, or pop, but to each their own.
The Internet can attack all it wants. Keith doesn't care
he's has no fvcks left to give LOL
LolaDoesTheHula says:
@Mia4s, rmfe, sentiments like yours are so common around these parts, and it sounds so dumb everytime…why is what he said an "opinion" but expressing an opinion on what he said an "attack"?
Jeez it's a joke guys, relax!
You know full well most of the "news" on the Internet is click bait hoping to garner an extreme reaction. The sites that publish these stories are not hoping for three comments says "agree to disagree", they want 600 comments of outrage (!!!). And often they get it, even with innocuous views like his.
bns says:
Literally no one is attacking him. People are allowed to respond to others opinions…
EN says:
> Rap — so many words, so little said. What rap did that was impressive was to show there are so many tone-deaf people out there. All they need is a drum beat and somebody yelling over it and they're happy. There's an enormous market for people who can't tell one note from another
Well, that is an interesting view. It makes me understand rap better I guess.
My issue with rap is that it has no redeeming qualities – there is no melody and the words are usually offensive. To like rap you not only have to be tone death but also not know English.
You're listening to the wrong rap songs. There are rap songs that don't use dirty language and don't demean women. Listen to Common he has very thoughtful lyrics. There are songs with melody too.
Common's songs are considered rap? Or does he write both rap and non rap songs?
Genny says:
Listen to Kendrick Lamar, Tupac, Biggie, hell, listen to 90s rap.
We can sit here and argue in circles what is good and what isn't, but if you don't want to see validity in a genre, you won't. I like older rock. I love rap. Both have bad music within it. That doesn't mean that there's no meaning in the genre as a whole.
I would not tell someone who does not like rap to listen to Kendrick, particularly considering how problematic some of his lyrics are. Actually, same with Biggie and Tupac.
(and I'm a fan of all three)
I think Common is a better recommendation. Common is rap, incredibly good rap and the dude puts on a live performance that you would not believe.
Some great and positive hip-hop lite is Jurassic 5.
AlmondJoy says:
No redeeming qualities?? Are you talking about rap as a whole or just certain songs? It's sounds like you're making a generalization.
Whatever comes up on radio. I am assuming these are the most popular and mainstream songs?
Whatever station you're listening to will give you the type of music it is known for so I don't know what you mean. If you're listening to cheesy, pop stations you will hear cheesy pop rap. If you choose to base your broad criticism of rap on that it is your fault you are not aware that there is informed, conscious rap out there.
> If you choose to base your broad criticism of rap on that it is your fault you are not aware that there is informed, conscious rap out there.
Mmm-hmm. So, I have to become an expert on rap before I can say that whatever is released for mass consumption and is in the top by popularity is no good, or I don't like it?
I like classical music ( grew up with it), and many people say to my face that they don't like/ don't understand classical music. It is actually a very common attitude these days. I don't see it as a personal slight. Just as a sign of times.
In defense of classical music , at least it doesn't demean women, calls to violence and has words like n*, b* and f* in every line. How can people be OK with that I don't understand.
You're the one who stated that rap has no redeeming qualities. You didn't say some rap or even most rap. When you generalize you can expect to be challenged. What if I said that classical music is repetitive garbage? Of course it isn't but making such a blanket statement about an entire musical genre is just as shortsighted.
And it is insulting that you think people who like rap also must obviously be okay with offensive, sexist lyrics. People are capable of intelligent differentiation. You should try it.
Neah23 says:
@EN
I think your views come from a place of ignorance more then anything. The fact that you are unaware that Common is a 100% rapper and not all rapper use curse words or calls to violence is very telling.
V4Real says:
"To like rap you not only have to be tone death but also not know English."
What's offensive is your comment. There's quite a bit of music out there that I'm not a fan of but there's no need for me to insult the people who enjoys listening to that music. Your comment seems as if it is coming from a place of ignorance. It seems you know very little about rap or what is or isn't rap.
What if I said your claim of listening to classical music is trying to prove you come from a higher place of intelligence but if that was true you wouldn't make such an ignorant comment about rap or pop to try to insult the ones who listen to these types of songs?
> I think your views come from a place of ignorance more then anything. The fact that you are unaware that Common is a 100% rapper and not all rapper use curse words or calls to violence is very telling.
I don't like rap, as music ( I like melody and it doesn't have it). And then on top of it you get offensive violent lyrics ( in the US at least), and yes many people choose to remain ignorant, by choice.
And it seems that people who like rap and hip-hop are just fine with the offensive and violent content since nobody speaks up against it. Why is that?
I only learned about Common when I heard his song at the Oscars. And I liked it. But he is not that popular which can be easily proven by simply looking at the charts. If there were more artists like him then rap might've had different reputation.
> you wouldn't make such an ignorant comment about rap or pop to try to insult the ones who listen to these types of songs?
We keep going in circles. Why so many popular rap and hip-hop songs lyrics are offensive? And why are so many people are OK with it?
How are we going in circles if I only responded to you once; this being my second retort to you?
You keep bringing up the why does so many rap songs have offensive lyric question as if that question is some kind of grand eye opener. But let me answer your question this way. Why does so many popular movies have violence in them? Why are there popular movies that glorify prostitution (Pretty Woman, Pretty Baby and Risky Business comes to mind). Why are there popular movies where people go out and seek revenge on the ones that have wronged them? Answer: they're just movies, The Goal: to turn a profit and entertain.
It's just music, not to be taken literal. If you don't like it, then don't listen to it. If it's not your cup of tea, try a different cup. But stop trying to insult people who do like rap or pop. You're taste in music doesn't make you superior in your listening skills. And there are a lot of popular rap and hip hop songs without offensive lyrics. If you have never heard them than that's on you.
Man what is so sad to me about this thread is that AAVE is such a rich f*cking language, but you're interpreting it as *less than* because it doesn't sound white and "proper". I'm trying to come down too hard on you, EN, but you should really open your mind up.
EDIT: Ok I'm sorry EN I just read down-thread what you meant. I misunderstood. You do need to understand that not every rap song has offensive language though.
My issue with this viewpoint is that it has no redeeming qualities.
You have to consider the source, though. This is someone who hasn't heard rap beyond what's played on the radio. Truthfully, I'd probably feel the same way if I were her because I think a lot of Top 40 rap is garbage.
That being said, I listen to rap everyday and the majority of my music collection IS awesome hip hop. To say that it doesn't have any redeeming qualities is simply not true.
scotchydeez says:
I agree, I also think this is rich coming from a guy who appropriated black blues music in order to write songs and sell records. In fact some of their earlier work was covers of a variety of blues artists. Those artists didn't always get paid….
I think he's old and was cranky during this interview….
Solanacaea (Nighty) says:
Portuguese rap lyrics are actually not totally bad, no violence, guns and things like that. Though I don't lke rap… Thinking about one of the most played "songs": it's about unemployment and the problems youth has, one studies a lot and gets no job…
Here in Croatia 90% of rappers talk about social issues. Probably because there are no gangsters here, so gangsta rap would just fe hilarious coming from a Croatian.
Not know English? This stupid comment.
When ( many many moons ago) I didn't know English, I liked some songs because music was beautiful. But once I learned English I stopped liking them because of the words.
The same with Spanish language songs. The tunes are often catchy. But once you learn Spanish you realize that 50% of the words are traison and corazon, and it is just silly.
Oh I see what you're saying now. I'm sorry I jumped the gun. I thought you were saying that rap isn't real English.
Aren says:
I agree. My music teacher used to say that most people like simple, cheap music because that's all they can aspire to understand.
It's the same in every country, the music for the masses is below mediocre, because so is their fanbase.
Jo 'Mama' Besser says:
That's a mighty big heap of contempt and I say that as a classical pianist/sometimes music teacher, which I guess would have cachet with your teacher.
I think the phrase is 'tone deaf'.
You don't know cRap. Listen to The Sugarhill Gang or Grandmaster Flash's The Message and then get back to me. I'll wait…..
Keith Richards in old codger moan shocker. I agree that Mick is a snob though.
LookyLoo says:
"He got lost in the details." I love that phrase for some reason. Must. Use. It.
Eleonor says:
I love Kiff.
And he is right about Mick: he is an hell of a frontman.
How does being a control freak make you a snob? Keith has to be using the wrong word. Snob and control freak aren't synonymous.
GoodNamesAllTaken says:
I wondered what he meant by "snob," too. Unfriendly? Just a "hi, mate," no hug? To me a snob is someone who thinks they are superior to others for some reason – wealth, intellect, culture, etc. – and talks down to people.
I don't see how detail-oriented and hyper-organized translates to snob, but maybe I misred.
There is so much great rap music, and great new rock music but unfortunately the ones who become big and mainstream tend to be crap. Although I do wish more new rock bands would talk about socila issues, I don't see much of that. It's usually the same old boring songs about love and feelings.
Bae says:
Yeah, I can't think of a really popular newish rock band that writes mainly about politics and social issues. Does anyone have any suggestions?
tifzlan says:
I wonder if he's ever listened to Immortal Technique. I often have to lie down and think about my life and the state of the world for an hour because he just says /too/ much.
Toasty says:
Thank you, always open to hear new music and expand my understanding and appreciation. I've never heard of him, but a quick google he seem's really interesting. I'll definitely give him a listen. Again, thank you.
Nayru says:
I used to say that I liked everything except country. Now I think it is ignorant and small minded to dismiss an entire genre of music. It's narrow minded to insist upon a restricted definition of music just like insisting art must be on a canvas or something.
There are plenty of socially conscious hip/hop rap artist including Lupe Fiasco, Common, Talib Kweli, Mos Def. They have just as much to say as any average rock artist.
I could say that I don't like rap….in general, I hate it. But Things fall apart/The Roots is one of my favourite album ever…..
Luca76 says:
Yeah there's great hip hop out there its still not my favorite music but it exists. The problem is that the quality of mainstream music is across the board pretty awful with a few patchy bright spots at a certain point you have to be a private investigator to find it. Years ago you just really had to turn on the radio. Now you have to forgive me because I grew up near New York City and we had every type of radio station and now I like every type of music but I miss the days when there were so many radio stations that played whatever you were in the mood for.
Ah yes, Mos Def was the one that made me take an interest in rap.
I Choose Me says:
Mos Def is the man.
jugstorecowboy says:
Basically he sounds like his own is the only music that is worthy. Whatever, call me tone deaf but I like rap.
People that say shit like this obviously don't listen to rap. Shut up old man.
I like him, and know almost nothing about rap, but even I know that very often rappers have a great deal to say about a huge range of subjects. And as someone above pointed out, the Stones' lyrics aren't exactly world changing.
The Stones did have some lyrically amazing songs. Gimme Shelter is my favourite.
True. I was young when they were starting out, and to be honest, I think I've just heard all of their songs so often that I don't really "hear" them anymore.
frisbee says:
@ Franca – Gimme shelter! The best opening bars of any rock song anywhere ever! I have to go and play it now
Neb says:
So unfair. I like the Stones but to effectively dismiss rap like that goes to show he is narrow minded about a different art from. Rap is poetry. Rhythm And Poetry.
He HAS to be referring to the mainstream junk on the radio, in which case I can't blame him. Tyga, 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne… those guys give rap a bad name, and contemporary music in general. But I can't believe a musician would be so wilfully ignorant as to not know of any outstanding rappers, like Immortal Technique, Atmosphere, Prodigy, Blue Scholars, Kendrick Lamar, Nas (those last two ARE mainstream)… the list goes on.
embertine says:
RRR MUMBLE GRUMBLE YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY GET OFF MY LAWN DON'T HAVE NO RESPECT CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION GRUMBLE
I'll take criticism of rap from Keith Richards when he acknowledges that the Stones' most famous song contains the most egregious double negative in rock history. Good day sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.
Jayna says:
Keith is all about the musical side, the melody. He's a great rhythm guitarist. Mick basically writes the lyrics. I think he is saying where is the melody, the music in it, is his feeling.
belle de jour says:
This is exactly why I love hearing his observations (he's dead right about the syncopation, for instance); he's a veteran, accomplished musician, and in those areas, he knows exactly what he's talking about. I also think he's referring to 'what's being said' in the *music* & melody progression – as well as in the words. And to the fact that you can't find the pocket if your sounds and beats are falling in precisely controlled electronic signals vs. being organic every time you have to perform with others.
Since it's sort of a tradition to give younger bands and newer formats a hard time, I take all those comments with an enormous grain of old-guy salt. I don't agree with him about some rap, but I love what he knows about playing music.
This feels like an assumption that rappers are just standing around on a street corner or hanging out in studios thinking up stupid rhymes.
Tupac, Slick Rick, Azaela Banks, Nicky Minaj, Dana Fane – all classically trained, to name a few. I would go so far as to say that rappers are exposed to more genres of music than Richards even though few will ever reach his level of musicianship. Variety is the spice of life.
The Other Maria says:
He's just mad he can't rip off rap like he did many a jazz and blues player….
He is a student of the great jazz and blues players. He admires them and studied them and incorporated it in their rock music, because he feels that is the greatest music. He bows down to the greats.
i like maroon 5 and they have never said they are rock. They mix a lot of styles together
Keith is loveable and payed his due to say whatever he wants but for someone who built his entire early career on a black American music for, he's remarkably ( to use his own lingo) "tone deaf" to the continuation of black American music.. Rap is as authentic as the blues. Ok not every rap artist is a lyrical genius and lots of it is commercial crap just as lots of rock music is, but you need to look no further than Kendrick Lamar to see an artist with real talent.
Blues is built on classical music's chord progressions. So I guess we can say black american blues musicians ripped off European music and have no real talent.
Don't be obtuse. The Rolling Stones (and pretty much all classic rock) are heavily influenced by black artists and black music. The person above didn't say that they had no real talent.
If you think variations of chord progressions alone equals one of the most expressive, unique, evocative forms of musical expression known to man you need refresher music theory classes.
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley, to do Black Music so selfishly
and use it to get myself wealthy."
At least Eminem admitted it.
I like the Stones. I prefer them over the Beatles. But, yeah they were influenced by Black sound. And yes I like "Brown Sugar and Harlem Shuffle."
TLOH1366 says:
Early Black American music was influence by European instruments particularly the violin (European) and hymns (European) which late became known in Black churches as spirituals. So Black American music was influence in part by White Europeans – so if we are going parse – do it with some semblance to accuracy. Instead of blanket statements that fit neatly into an inaccurate narrative.
Well, Europeans stole many of their instruments from other cultures, so be gone.
TLO…
Mmmkay…early African American music, including the blues is a derivation of the West and Central African call and response dynamic, which is, itself, centuries old. Check your facts and bias proof them while you're at it. And by the way, hymns did not attain liturgical prominence until the spread of Calvinism – again, well after the aforementioned African vocal style became prolific.
Keith is very vocal about his love of the blues. He pretty much acknowledgedes that he learnt music from listening to people like muddy waters and Bobby Womack so I have no idea why some people in this thread felt the need to claim the blues is base on white European music all of a sudden . I feel this is distasteful this attempt to suggest it's not an autonomous African tradition.
Because obviously European = superior and original.
He talks about Mick being a snob and is always so quick to point out Mick's faults, not so much his own. Mick kept that band going while Keith was drugged out of his mind.
Mick said many things hurt him in the book Keith wrote, but that what really hurts is on tour backstage Keith never wants to visit, interact with Mick, come to his dressing room, whatever they call room, etc., in other words acting like mates. Keith makes no effort. Funny how Keith sees one side.
Patty Hansen looks amazing.
QQ says:
….and Keith Richards is for the Blind with all their vaccines current, This Raisinnette which is probably embalmed and preserved and pickled on all the drugs needs to sit down somewhere
hmph says:
I agree with him. Especially about rap.
FLORC says:
As a side topic on NPR's Wait Wait several weeks back there was a former roady (sp?) for the RS who became a doctor. A vet or dentist i think. He said he loved being on tour with the Stones, but 1 day KRichards came to him an said he should be doing soemthing with his life in so many words. The guy said of all people. When Keith comes to you and says that you listen! It was hilarious. Worth a listen.
Robin Williams had a joke along the lines that Jack Nicholson partied so hard, he was the only human on the planet to hear Keith Richards say, "I think it's time for me to go home now, mate."
Boxy Lady says:
I know Charlie Sheen is kind of persona non grata on this website (I still can't believe he made it to 50 yesterday) but he said something similar about Slash of Guns N Roses once.
"Slash sat me down at his house and said, 'You've got to clean up your act.' You know you've gone too far when Slash is saying,' Look, you've got to get into rehab.'"
skippy says:
I love Keith. I want him to come live with me. He tells great stories.
Always makes me laugh.
Milo says:
I teach high school. Kids in my first class were listening to music while completing an assignment. One was signing along. The lyric sounded like "I put my thumb in her butt" yeah…current popular rap is great.
"God Made Girls" Rae Lynn
"Animals" Adam Levine
"Hello Kitty" Avril Lavigne
"This Is How We Do" Katy Perry
Yeah, it's just rap that offends.
Did I say it wasn't? I actually introduced my students to the roots and common and Eric b and rakim and many others. I'm an old head hip hop fan, but the new popular radio stuff is shit-tactic and I give not a single damn about how shit-tactic other genres are, they have nothing to do with the horrific lyrics that my students were repeating.
Without the framework you've now provided you basically, in your op, gave yet another example why rap should be seen as without value. You weren't specific to era or subgenre. I actually think that you, as an informed music lover, could have helped with the blanket criticisms listed in this thread instead of chiming in.
I also fully understand that this is just my bossy opinion and I don't want to be the comment police.
i referred to current popular rap in my op, but it's all good. I was probably overly sensitive to your response because in my thoughts I was only referring to the stuff currently being played on the radio and current rap just makes me sad. Mostly cause I remember sitting in front of my boom box waiting to hit record when songs came on cause they spoke to me and now they just tell me to make my butt clap or some other such nonsense.
You did say "current popular rap" in your op so I will pour the pinot while you slice a bit of crow for me as well. Some of the snide, ignorant comments here made me a bit jumpy also. And boy did your boombox recollection launch me back to the past. 'Award Tour', 'Tennessee' and 'Scratch' still transport me to this day!
Award tour is the song of the week for my class to analyze next week!!! or How I Get Over… I can't decide which one I'm more excited to play for them.
Okay you're totally my new bestie – Taylor Swift style!
parissucksliterally says:
Old rap is great – "The Message" "White Lines" , "It's Like That", for example. Before rap became about sex and drugs, it DID mean something.
Do you listen to rap these days? Kendriks album is not just about sex and drugs. Far from it.
Not much, I am too busy laughing at the ridiculous names and face tattoos.
Yes, I am officially old.
MTE. And Kendrick is not the only one. There's lots out there like him.
The Eternal Side-Eye says:
Simple minds see simple lines.
It amazes me how quickly folks trash rap and then quote the lyrics literally scoffing "What is that?"
A metaphor and right next to it a simile, next to that is a play on words using a common phrase to illustrate a point. In other words the depth is there but some would rather pretend it isn't. Sorry rap is one of the few genres where blacks are prominent and I side-eye anyone who declares it completely and totally garbage.
You don't have to love any music genre but if you're basing your knowledge on what's on the radio then I've got a few other genres I've got comments for days on.
For instance why are all country singers so interested in girls climbing into their truck?
I don't want to turn around and make another blanket generalization, buuuuttt I can't stand country and your last sentence made me think of it. Every song sounds the same to me and it's always about trucks or tractors, beer, girls getting revenge on cheaters, drinking lemonade, summertime, the grass, getting drunk, porch swings. I swear it all sounds the same to me and I can't really recall ever hearing socially conscience country music in the last 15 or so years. I don't hate Reba or Garth Brooks, though, but I cannot get down with country.
JustCrimmles says:
You forgot to mention trains, mamas, dogs, prison and standing outside in the pouring rain. While drunk.
Friends of ours, an older Jewish couple, went on a commercial flight to Mexico and chatted for quite a while with Keith Richards, the husband not even KNOWING who Keith Richards was, just chatting about other stuff! The kicker is, later they saw him at a restaurant, but he was with others, so the wife headed for a far table to not disturb them. KR saw them, stood up and shouted, "Mates! C'mon over!" waved them over, insisting they join them for dinner! 😄
Emily C. says:
Sturgeon's Law: 90% of everything is crap. The stuff that gets the most popular is often the worst. It would be ignorant and ridiculous to say all romance novels are bad because of 50 Shades of Grey, for instance.
Though I don't know of anyone who makes rock any longer. Radiohead? Oh dear.
Oh dear what? They are one of the last great rock bands.
Thanks for the reference, I had never heard of Sturgeon's Law. I wholly admit that I am generally not a fan of rap, and when it comes on the radio I can't change the channel fast enough. But I loved 8 Mile. I will also admit that I simply have made no effort to educate myself on rap. Enjoyment of certain music types is learned. For instance, I never would have enjoyed classical music so much if I hadn't taken a college course in it. Now I can hear each individual instrument and the dance they weave together is so amazing. I assume rap is the same, I just haven't made the effort.
Wonderbunny says:
> But I would be crushed if Keith was talking about a real rock band like Radiohead or something.
And if he was, then so what? You know how good Radiohead is and you can appreciate them and Keith Richards at the same time. What he thinks is fun to listen to, but it doesn't have to have any influence whatsoever. Us all being different with different points of view is one of the best things in this world.
My Two Cents says:
Only song of theirs I liked was Start Me Up and that was because it was the Chiefs song to get the crowd going. Was fun to be there and feel the hype of the crowd. As for the rest, I can take them or would rather leave them. Keith Richards is so lucky to have survived his heroin days and still have a working brain. They can still sell out stadiums so they are doing something right rocking into their 70′s! Doubt any rappers will be doing the same.
Macscore says:
I just came here to say how great Patti Hansen still looks.
TherapyCranes says:
Brother Ali, Lupe Fiasco, Wax, Watsky, Atmosphere, Common, Invincible, Asheru… etc etc etc. There are so so so many hip hop artists that rap about sexism, racism, tolerance, love and the struggles of the modern man. You don't have to limit yourself to old school hip hop to find great music with great messages. Pop rap is just as bad as pop music. All you need to do is scratch the surface of rap to find life changing songs and artists. Generalizing is never a good thing. If you're actually going to demean an entire art form the least you should do is try to learn about the thing you are going to so ignorantly bash.
TopCat says:
I have nothing against rap as a genre per say. I think rap can be used and has been used to tell the truth. But a lot of mainstream modern rap is just horrible; homophobic, sexist and violent. It seems to be one of the few mediums where it's okay to be racist, sexist and homophobic which shocks me. Listening to most mainstream rap makes me angry/upset. I hate the b word, f word, h word, s word. I think it just promotes misogyny and cruelty. But some older rap and particularly songs I love.
I love Tupac's 'Broken Wings' and I used to love Eminem because he seemed tongue in cheek but I can't listen to him now because his 'angry, angry young man' schtick wore thin.
Bobafelty says:
This guy snacked on his dad's ashes and permanently fried his brain with drugs, so not sure why he thinks his 'taste' in anything is relevant.
eleri says:
lolololol. keith: NO one gives a rat's ass about your opinion on music. you are not relevant. your music was once relevant and ok but now lololol is all i got. plus public enemy.
Many years ago, I ran a huge event with many, many celebs attending. Of all the A-listers (and some B-listers) we worked with, my whole team fell in love with Keith Richards. (And his tux jacket had a lining of white silk with tiny black skulls. How cool is that?). But mostly, he was just incredibly sweet. Called us all Darlin' and when I told him one of my interns was almost paralyzed with awe at finally meeting her longtime crush, he made a point of chatting her up, even held her hand and walked her over to the bar and bought her a drink. Hours later, when he left, he remembered her name, asked for her and planted a big kiss on her before taking a picture with her. He was just kind when he didn't have to be, authentic and grateful for his life. I love, love, love Keith Richards.
William mad about Harry's Diana photo?
Harry is 'heartbroken' over his family?
Ben Affleck: 'I hate being famous'
Meghan's dad making a doc about her
Novak Djokovic's pandemic demands


text:
Barcelona considering reunion with PSG star Neymar
by Ted Wilson | June 19, 2019 | 02:42
In the same interview he said of Neymar: "I want players that are ready to give everything to defend the honour of our shirt and who sign up to the club's project".
And he is seemingly banking on Kylian Mbappe, the French phenom, as the man to lead the club in the coming years, rather than the world's most expensive player. It must be completely different.
The report comes on the back of strong comments from chairman and CEO Al-Khelaifi about the attitude of squad members.
"Nobody forced him to sign here, nobody pushed him in".
There are three years left on the Brazilian's contract at PSG and it would take a figure in excess of the €222 million (£199m) to persuade them to sell. Thus, it is natural that reports of him not wanting the World Cup victor will come up.
Joseph Allen: 8th Tourist to Die in Dominican Republic
He was also stripped of his Brazil team captaincy in May and accused of rape in June. The Brazilian star remains friends with Barcelona stars Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez.
But he is adamant France World Cup victor Mbappe, who initially joined on loan from Monaco two years ago before moving permanently for €130 last summer, will stay in Paris.
Despite comfortably winning the French top-flight, PSG had an overall disappointing season, suffering a Champions League humiliation at the hands of Manchester United and losing the French Cup final to Stade Rennais FC.
And the Brazil worldwide is also seen as a global icon of the game who would enhance the club's brand.
Sources told GloboEsporte that Barcelona and PSG have been holding talks and there is a possibility of the move happening in the July transfer window.
Tailgates, protests set up for Trump 2020 announcement in Orlando
"He's going to have full sporting power".
"His natural authority will be good for everybody - especially the players".
He netted 51 times in 58 games for PSG and won the domestic double with the club last campaign.
That doesn't mean there's no interest, they just don't want a war with PSG. "They are not here to have fun, and if they do not agree, the doors are open, Ciao!" while adding "I do not want any more star behavior".
Don't let USWNT score fool you, and Thailand has something to celebrate
Hong Kong Activist Walks Free, Calls On Pro-Beijing Leader To Resign
Protesters remain unmoved by the freeing of activist Joshua Wong and the apology of the territory's chief executive Carrie Lam. That authority is one that's curbed freedom of speech in China, and Oliver said this is what is primarily driving the protests.
Vanderbilt went on to became an actress, painter, model and acclaimed fashion designer of hip-hugging jeans in the 1970s. Vanderbilt passed away Monday morning from stomach cancer, according to a report published by The Hollywood Reporter .
Too big, too strong: Tyson Fury floors Tom Schwarz to remain unbeaten
They talk to me constantly about mental health, because people are suffering. "I haven't agreed to anything past Tom Schwarz ". I get millions of messages from all over the world, people constantly talking about my problem.
Concerns from the Anthony Davis trade
But their next focus will be free agency, where there are a number of different scenarios which could change their cap space. It's Durant, so it could happen, but fans can only wait and see for now.
After Galaxy Fold Debacle, Huawei Delays Foldable Mate X Rollout
After an announcement just ahead of MWC 2019, very few people saw (or could touch) the phone before a wider launch in April 2019. The Samsung Galaxy Fold received flak in April when four early reviewers reported issues with the foldable screen's display.
Raptors president Masai Ujiri accused of assaulting sheriff's deputy in Oakland
It is unknown if the Wizards lost interest in Ujiri after this incident or if their interest in him was simply overstated. Ujiri is known for being fiery and spontaneous.
US sending troops to Middle East amid Gulf tensions over Iran
In doing so, he put intense strain on the global coalition that had backed the agreement and wanted to keep it alive. Washington and Tehran traded accusations over the mysterious incidents.
Pompeo vows U.S. will guarantee passage through Strait of Hormuz
Steve Scalise, the No. 2 House of Representatives Republican, said the White House had been briefing Congress on Iran. American officials explained that this appeared to be limpet mine that failed to detonate during the attack.
Pakistan chiefs accidentally add cat filter to Facebook Live press conference
The video immediately went viral on social media but was later deleted from the political party's official page. The live stream continued with the whiskers and ears in place, even after the error was pointed out by users.
Trump calls for London's mayor to be replaced
London Mayor Sadiq Khan lashed out against the Government today, blaming the murders on "massive cuts" to police funding. Trump's verbal attack on Khan was in reaction to the killings of three men in London which happened within 24 hours.
Turkey's Erdogan Says S-400s Delivery Starting In July
The lira stood at 5.8460 at 1029 GMT on Thursday, weakening from around 5.8320, where it stood prior to Cavusoglu's speech. The move would also see Turkey locked out of receiving the next generation of F-35 stealth fighter jets from the US.
Federal watchdog urges firing Kellyanne Conway
Conway, a Republican Party strategist and pollster before joining the White House , now serves as "counselor to the president". The Office of the Special Counsel is not to be confused with special counsel Robert Mueller and his investigation. "If Ms.
Trump confirms Xi G20 meeting as trade war rages
Talks between Washington and Beijing to settle the feud broke down last month , leading some to speculate more tariffs will come. Bush - enthusiastically urged the new agreement's adoption and said it's "going to be great for the people I represent in OH ".
What the New Facebook Cryptocurrency Libra Means
Facebook is branching into cryptocurrency , unveiling a new blockchain-based currency called Libra that could challenge bitcoin . Libra could potentially unlock new revenue opportunities in payments and commerce.
Amazon says Ocasio-Cortez is 'just wrong' about warehouse wages
Hours after her interview on Sunday, Trump used Ocasio-Cortez's words to argue his impeachment would be a last-ditch Democratic excuse.
China stays mum as Hong Kong protests against extradition bill
Many say changes to the rule of law could imperil Hong Kong's status as a global financial center. Meanwhile, police have been criticized for using excessive force on peaceful demonstrators.
The reason why Queen Elizabeth won't be at Archie's christening next month
For the unversed, on occasion of Father's day, the royal couple shared a never-seen-before picture of their kid. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's son will soon be baptised at the same church where his parents were married.
Notre Dame Cathedral celebrates first mass since devastating fire
Church leaders are keen to show life goes on at the cathedral as donations for rebuilding trickle in. The April 15 blaze destroyed the 90-meter spire and most of the roof of the Gothic masterpiece.
Another American tourist dies on vacation while in Dominican Republic
She was staying at the Excellence resort , where she had stayed twice before, Will Cox, Leyla's son, told NBC's Nightly News. Preliminary autopsies released by Dominican authorities said they all had fluid in their lungs and respiratory failure.
Weather: Storms could wash out end of the weekend
Friday: Partly cloudy with a chance of a few showers and thunderstorms, warm with highs in the middle 80s. Drier weather will move in by Wednesday and Thursday with high temperatures returning to the 80s.
Registers working again as Target fixes glitch that caused outage
The systems issue - dubbed "The Great Target Outage of 2019" on social media - soon took on nearly mythical qualities. Customers in some locations said store employees were handing out snacks to frustrated people waiting in line.
Tyson Fury steals the show with brilliant Aerosmith celebration
The 30-year-old sung his own rendition of Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, without so much as a backing track, to his partner.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Laurie Rose (* 20. Jahrhundert) ist ein britischer Kameramann aus Brighton.

Laurie Rose wurde um 2000 als Kameraoperateur und Kameraassistent beim britischen Fernsehen tätig. Seit 2002 war er als eigenständiger Kameramann an mehr als drei Dutzend Film- und Fernsehproduktionen beteiligt. Rose ist Stammkameramann des Regisseurs Ben Wheatley seit dessen Debüt Down Terrace von 2009. Für seine Arbeit bei der Miniserie London Spy wurde Rose 2016 mit einem British Academy Television Craft Award ausgezeichnet.

Filmografie (Auswahl)
 2009: Down Terrace
 2011: Kill List
 2012: Sightseers
 2013: A Field in England
 2013: Him & Her (Fernsehserie, 5 Folgen)
 2014: Friday Night Dinner (Fernsehserie, 6 Folgen)
 2015: High-Rise
 2015: Bill
 2015: London Spy (Miniserie)
 2016: Free Fire
 2016: Peaky Blinders – Gangs of Birmingham (Fernsehserie, 6 Folgen)
 2017: Journey's End
 2017: The Escape
 2018: Happy New Year, Colin Burstead.
 2018: Stan & Ollie
 2018: Operation: Overlord (Overlord)
 2019: Friedhof der Kuscheltiere (Pet Sematary)
 2020: Summerland
 2020: Rebecca
 2020: Freaky
 2022: Rosaline

Weblinks

Einzelnachweise

Kameramann
Brite
Geboren im 20. Jahrhundert
Mann

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


text:
Организация партизан-фидаинов иранского народа () — иранская леворадикальная организация. Появилась в 1983 году в результате раскола леворадикальной ОПФИН(м).

Провозглашает себя коммунистической организацией, частью глобального социалистического и рабочего движения, борющегося с неолиберализмом. Признаёт демократической альтернативой существующему режиму Вилаят аль-факих в Тегеране Национальный совет сопротивления Ирана — зонтичное объединение 5 иранских левых организаций в эмиграции, включая Моджахедин-э Халк.

Примечания

Ссылки
 Organization of Iranian People's Fedai Guerrillas

История Ирана
Политические партии Ирана
Леворадикальные организации


text:
Q: SQL - Counting how many associated records another table has As I'm SQL beginner, I can't describe a problem in a simple way, so let me show you an example:
3 Tables:
PRODUCT

*

*id

*group_id

*person_id

GROUP

*

*id

*name

PERSON

*

*id

*group_id

As you see, GROUP can have multiple PERSONs and PRODUCT can be connected with GROUP and PERSON.
From this point, I would like to count number of PERSONs having a PRODUCT within a GROUP
I don't really understand the background of IN or using another SELECT within FROM, so if that's the point, then I'm happy that I was one step before it lol.
SELECT
group.name as GROUP_name,
COUNT(DISTINCT person_id) AS PERSON_having_min_one_PRODUCT
FROM products
LEFT JOIN groups ON groups.id = products.group_id
LEFT JOIN persons ON persons.id = products.person_id;

With this data:
GROUP
ExampleGroupName1 has 3 PERSONs, but 2 of them has >0 PRODUCTS
ExampleGroupName2 has 3 PERSONs and all of them has >0 PRODUCTS
ExampleGroupName3 has 2 PERSONs, but none of them has the PRODUCT
ExampleGroupName4 has 2 PERSONs, but only 1 has >0 PRODUCT

I would like to have an output like this:
GROUP_name | PERSON_having_min_one_PRODUCT
ExampleGroupName1 | 2
ExampleGroupName2 | 3
ExampleGroupName4 | 1

A:
I would like to count number of PERSONs having a PRODUCT within a GROUP

Note: I will assume the table product does not have the column group_id, since it is redundant and can lead to a lot of errors.
The following query will show you the result you want by joining the tables person and product:
select
  count(distinct x.id)
from person x
join product p on p.person_id = x.id
where x.group_id = 123 -- choosing a specific group
  and p.id = 456 -- choosing a specific product

A: This would rather be simple like below meaning all the groups with some group_id with count(persons) and those count who has some product via id used in having clause
         Select group_id,
         count( distinct id ) AS "PERSON_WITH_PRODUCT"
         from
         person group by group_id having id
         in (Select id from product);

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


text:
Q: How to access data in a ViewModel of a UserControl from MainWindow I have a UserControl (MVVM pattern) and a MainWindow. The UserControl Model get all Data and hold it, now i want to access this data from the MainWindow and bind it to a Control.
But how?
EDIT
UserControl.cs:
public UserControl()
{
    InitializeComponent();
    DataContext = new ViewModel.UserControlViewModel(
                       new Model.UserControlModel(this.facade));
}

the ViewModel.cs (from UserControl.cs)
public string Status
{
    get { return _model.Status; }
    set
    {
        if (value == _model.Status)
        {
            return;
        }
            _model.Status = value;
            base.NotifyPropertyChanged();
        }
    }

MainWindow.xaml
<StatusBarItem Grid.Column="1">
    <TextBlock x:Name="txtStatus" Text="{Binding Path=???,
                                    Mode=TwoWay,
                                    UpdateSourceTrigger=PropertyChanged}" />
</StatusBarItem>

So it's not so easy (maybe only for me ;) ) to set the DataContext for this

A: You could create a MainWindowViewModel which holds the data like so:
public class MainWindowViewModel {
    public AllDataType AllData {get;set;}
}

Now you bind the MainWindows DataContext to this ViewModel and access the data:
<MainWindow>
    <ctrl:UserControl DataContext="{Binding AllData}"/>
    <AnotherControl DataContext="{Binding AllData}"/>
</MainWindow>


Because we deserve to have our pumpkin pie and eat it too!!!!!
1. A cropped sweater with a surprise lace-up design so you never want to turn your back on fall. Not that you would ever DREAM of it.
Get it from Tobi for $29 (originally $58; available in sizes S-L and in three colors).
2. A pair of faux leather lace-up oxfords with just the right amount of heel that'll help you look dressed up without having to call it an early night. Unless it's Halloween, because I'll admit I'm a little scared to stay out late.
3. A super-comfy T-shirt dress, because this has just been waiting all year to be paired with tights and knee-high boots. And you better bet you'll feel like you're still in your PJs.
Get it from Amazon for $12.98+ (available in sizes S-XL and in 21 styles, with short and long sleeves).
4. A pair of colorblock velvet socks for heading ~feet first~ into full autumn-wardrobe mode. It's our time to SHINE.
Psst! You can get three pairs for $30 right now!
Get them from Free People for $14 (available in five colors).
5. A plaid shirt dress so you become used to a frequent pattern of compliments this whole season. AND you'll be unbeatably comfortable? Unreal.
6. A pair of velvet leggings that'll introduce you to a whole new level of ~lazy chic~ dressing. I KNEW you could be rewarded for never wanting to wear actual pants.
Get them from ModCloth for $29 (available in sizes XS-4X and in four colors) or a similar style from Amazon for $18.99+ (available in sizes XS-3X and in 16 colors).
7. A fuzzy pullover, because this'll cutely top off your go-to leggings when you're on your way to spin class. Ok, we're going to get more apple pie. Leave us be!!!!
Get it from Amazon for $5.99+ (available in sizes S-XL and in six colors).
8. A cold-shoulder T-shirt dress with ***pockets*** for coming into this season swinging. Will we wear it every single day? None of your business.
Promising review: "Y'ALL. I don't even know what to say. I bought multiple colors and both styles of this dress and I am BLOWN AWAY by how cute they are. They are lightweight, made well, and SOOOOOOO COMFORTABLE. I bought a bunch to try on because I needed a dress for an upcoming wedding, but now I don't want to return ANY! I can't believe how great they are!" —Taylor W.
Get it from Amazon for $12.99+ (available in sizes XS–XXL and 36 colors and styles).
9. A lightweight patterned blouse so workwear can also be an opportunity to *blossom*. Fall is the time you're happy 24/7 — INCLUDING in the office.
Get it from H&M for $14.99 (available in sizes 0-18 and in 11 styles).
10. A fuzzy faux shearling jacket that'll upgrade the leggings you've been wearing for two weeks now to your most successful OOTD post yet. The magic of trendy toppers.
11. A pair of satiny cargo pants, because these are the exact smooth transition you need away from summer clothes. Not that we haven't been itching to change wardrobes for months already.
Get them from Boohoo for $20 (originally $40; available in sizes 12-20 and in two colors).
12. A pair of lace-up over-the-knee boots for getting a ~leg up~ on everyone else before they catch on to one of this season's biggest trends.
13. A rib-knit turtleneck bodysuit so your carefully crafted apple picking outfit stays perfectly in place — even when you reach for the highest branches.
Get it from Nordstrom for $39.99 (originally $48; available in sizes XS-L) or a similar style from Amazon for $15.99 (available in sizes S-L and in 14 colors).
14. A long sweater vest that'll update your usual T-shirt so it looks brand spanking new this season.
You know what else this has? POCKETS!
Get it from Amazon for $21.99+ (available in sizes S-XXL and in four colors).
15. A pair of plaid leggings, because looking très chic doesn't have to require restrictive bottoms. Not when we have pumpkins to pick.
Get it from Asos for $26 (available in sizes 14-24).
16. A faux suede button-down skirt for feeling like you're spending the day as Rory herself in Stars Hollow. Bring on the COFFEE.
Get it from Amazon for $16.08+ (available in sizes XS-XL and in seven colors).
17. A denim button-down top so your closet never feels ~blue~ as temps begin to drop. And by never, I mean this will literally never go out of style.
Get it from Target for $22.99 (available in sizes X-4X).
18. A pair of fleece-lined leggings that'll really put the ~nail in the coffin~ when it comes to wearing the same pair everyday. Comfy, warm, AND cute? Guess we live in these now.
19. A pair of knit over-the-knee socks, because we both already know we're going to wear the same exact pair of boots every day. But now we can still switch it up a little.
Get them from Amazon for $11.90 (available in three colors).
20. A printed button-down maxi dress for a go-to when you need a one-and-done option to get out the door in time for your PSL before work. Priorities.
Get it from Amazon for $18.99+ (available in XS-XXL and in 29 colors).
21. A rib-knit turtleneck with a textured hem so you never feel ~ruffled~ when it's time to get dressed. This isn't humid summer, ok, the possibilities are endless.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $24 (available in sizes XS-XL and in three styles).
22. A striped midi dress with a buttoned slit that'll leave people more speechless than if you turned into a real-life pumpkin. Am I exaggerating? No.
Get it from Target for $22 (available in sizes 1X-4X).
23. A belted A-line skirt with POCKETS, because how else are you going to stand out in the sea of fall instas? A twirl in this + crisp leaves = exactly one million likes. You're welcome.
24. A reversible tartan blanket scarf for a) updating your usual coat and b) staying cuddly warm even if on the chilliest of hay rides. Don't forget to take a selfie.
Get it from Amazon for $14.86+ (available in 10 styles).
25. A faux suede buckle dress so you can stay on-trend without breaking the bank. We have a million PSLs to purchase, we need to save moolah.
26. A convertible faux leather backpack that can double as a crossbody. Did you just find your new best friend? Yes. You can even go trick-or-treating with it, aka stuff it with candy.
Get it from Amazon for $23.99+ (available in five styles).
27. A rainbow knit sweater, because now you'll still have plenty color in your life when skies go gray.
Get it from Nasty Gal for $25 (available in sizes XS-L).
28. A long flannel button-down with pockets (!!!!) for a new approach to our usual checked toppers. But we will still continue to wear the same black pants everyday.
29. A velvet ruffle-sleeved top so you still look *soft* even when telling the best ghost stories you know. Please don't share them with me, I live alone.
Get it from Nordstrom for $39.50 (available in sizes XS-XXL).
30. A pair of high-waisted jeggings with coated faux leather that'll make your jean shorts run under your bed. Where they shall stay.
Get them from H&M for $19.99 (available in seven styles).
31. A scalloped cropped sweatshirt, because living in sweats is key and this'll never let people even catch on. This proves my opinion that fall is better than Christmas.
Get it from Amazon for $14.99+ (available in sizes XS-XL and in five styles).
32. A super-soft midi dress with a ruffled hem for consistently looking *cool* even when chillier breezes arrive. This is the year we don't have to choose style over warmth.
Get it from American Eagle for $39.95 (available in XXS-XXL and in four colors).


Wednesdays are always busy, but in a good way. I always get to spend time with people and causes I care about, and I could stay busy that way for the rest of my life and be content.
I started the day with a bowl of Bob's Red Mill Muesli topped with honey and some fresh blueberries. Part of being busy on Wednesdays is finding a way to eat healthy on the go, so lunch was an Asian Sesame Chicken Salad from Panera with reduced sugar Asian vinaigrette, I asked for a whole grain baguette but they gave me a regular one so…just salad for me (probably better anyway). It was good fuel for my run although the weather was dreary and made it a daunting 3 miles. My post workout snack was an apple with almond butter, a forever favorite.
Today at Campus Kitchen we made probably the most beautiful meal we've ever made: some lovely quiche with broccoli, tomatoes and spinach. Everyone wanted to take one home!
Dinner was a less than satisfying plain turkey burger and a green juice with far too much kale, but then again I was going to be disappointed with just about anything but a meal from Bobby Flay himself after our perfect quiches.
So since it's my 10th day, I decided to make a top 10 list. I am such a snacker, I can't go more than like 3 hours without a snack otherwise I get hangry.
So, I decided to list some of my faves!
7. Basically any fruit, any time of the day. Switch it up, try new ones! I didn't start eating pears until recently and boy was I missing out. Also, try freezing grapes; it makes them taste like candy!
So there you have it, snack away all my hungry girls! (And guys) I'm sorry to report such a routine day, but tomorrow is going to be action-packed. And by that I mean I have some serious work to do training-wise and lots of praying to do for my daddy as he deals with some serious health issues. In case you thought I was just a nutcase, I promise that was the fuel to my "research all the things" craze for the past few days. I believe in nutrition as alternative (and when done correctly-preventative) medicine, and I can only hope that my efforts benefit him in this hard time.


text:
Exactly What to Know Before Your First Therapy Session
First of all, you're not "crazy."
By Jonathan Borge
HBO/ Justina Mintz
If you've decided to explore counseling, or are at least toying with the idea, the process can be confusing to say the least. I began my therapeutic journey in January, and online resources felt simultaneously limited and overwhelming. There was trial and error and a multitude of factors to consider like 'am I actually going to be able to afford this?' and 'what type of treatment is right for me?'
So if you're like me and need a little hand-holding through this process, not to worry: I've broken it down so you don't get discouraged before your therapy even begins.
First, determine what you want help with.
The differences in psychologists boil down to training, education and therapy style. This can be tricky to navigate, and there are dozens of formats to try.
Try psychodynamic therapies or cognitive behavioral therapies.
Admittedly, the thought of finding "the one" kept me from taking care of my mental health for years. To keep it simple, Alexis Conasan, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York, says the two main distinctions are as follows: psychodynamic psychotherapies, a typically long-term style, and cognitive behavioral therapies (CBT), which tend to focus on short-term results.
You should try psychodynamic therapy if you're looking to understand why you have certain problems. "It's focused on changing the conflicts and dynamics of the interpersonal, which is between you and other people, and the intrapsychic, which is within your own mind," Conasan notes. She explains it's often referred to as "deep therapy" since the focus is the "inner workings" of the mind. Some versions, like psychoanalysis, evaluate your dreams and unconscious thoughts, while others, like relational psychoanalysis, have to do with the way you relate to people.
CBT, on the other hand, is recommended if you're hoping to get to the root of a specific problem. This style doesn't focus on why you're doing something, but rather, what thought patterns and behaviors fuel the action. Therapists that specialize in CBT create goal-oriented homework assignments for clients to make "observable changes" in behavior.
Those aren't the only two options, of course. There are many lesser-known psychodynamic therapies, which are based on the psychologist's school of thought—Freudian vs. Neo-Freudian, for instance. On the other hand, psychiatrists are the only ones that can prescribe medication like anti-depressants. Anyone looking to address specific patterns, like an eating disorder or insomnia, should consider a specialist, which I also looked into.
Then, go shopping.
If you can't pinpoint what's making you upset, Conasan recommends looking around—and not getting caught up in the format. She points to studies that show the relationship you and your therapist develop is more critical to success than the therapy style. Meeting various types of therapists will help you narrow your search and better understand the forms of treatment you like or dislike.
Use Good Therapy, Zocdoc and Psychology Today to begin your search.
Some therapists take a more interview-style, direct approach, and others prefer the client lead the conversation. Practitioners can specialize in five or six areas; however, she recommends being cautious around anyone who claims to be an expert in "everything."
This part wasn't easy for me. I sought out specialists who I thought could help with my self-diagnosed body dysmorphia, or my early childhood traumas, or my depression and general anxiety. Which to focus on? Ultimately, I chose a psychotherapist who, through talk-therapy and sometimes guided meditation, now helps me come to terms with all of these issues.
To save time, schedule phone consultations—and ask questions.
The search is similar to the dating process for both parties. Conasan explains that you should not only feel comfortable, but your therapist should also feel like they have the tools to help you. If not, referrals are common. Use a phone chat as an opportunity to grill the therapist on their background and style.
Remember: after several sessions, it's okay to part ways if they're not a great fit. The process should be collaborative.
The first session might be awkward.
I confess that it felt pretty odd barging into a stranger's office pronouncing, "Hi. My name is Jonathan and I have daddy issues," but it was a place to start. Nancy Beckman, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Chicago, says she will often ask what brings you in? because the answers will determine the treatment plan she develops.
Expect to answer questions about how long you've been struggling with a particular issue, and perhaps jump into life and family history. Uber specific answers ("I've felt depressed since my mother's death," for instance) or general explanations ("I feel overwhelmed, and don't know where to start") are both helpful.
Plan to set goals.
In addition to addressing logistics (like cancellations policies and billing), the first session should be used to outline your goals. Beckman suggests thinking about what you'd like to have changed after several sessions, and, with your therapist's help, designing a rubric for measuring success. Every therapist is different, but she uses the first session to really get to know each client and their needs.
And to talk payment plans.
This depends on whether or not you have insurance and if your therapist accepts it. Both Beckman and Conasan recommend working with your healthcare provider to find specialists that are "within network." If that's the case, the therapist and your insurance will work to establish your per-session co-pay. Otherwise, payment is up to the discretion of your therapist.
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"Some insurance companies might cover 80 percent of the cost of treatment, while others might not cover any of it," Conasan says. "If you're looking at a therapist that might be anywhere between $150 to $300 a session, whether you're paying $300 or $30 [via co-pay] is quite a significant difference."
Initially, I worried that therapy would be far too expensive for me. But after several calls with (patient) insurance representatives, I realized that affordable practitioners do exist—you just have to dig around.
Yes, your secrets are safe.
Your therapist should take confidentiality seriously, and it's unethical for them to share private information. The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) outlines these measures. That said, psychologists and psychotherapists are required to disclose private matters without your consent if a client attempts suicide, harms someone else, or is involved in abusive behavior.
Use the American Psychological Association as a resource—and ask your therapist for written privacy policies.
The amount of time spent in therapy varies drastically.
"I often remind people to think about how long they've been struggling with these problems—you can't expect them to go away overnight," Conasan says. Duration depends on your specialist. Psychoanalysts, for instance, take their time unpacking relationship history to make changes. There are also clients who consider therapy good self-care behavior (like going to the gym) and go weekly for years. Beckman notes that people working on deep-rooted issues generally spend 12 to 24 sessions in therapy, but there's no magic timeline.
"Sometimes one session is enough," Beckman says, referring to certain cognitive behavioral therapies that don't require visiting a psychologist over time. These "brief, solution-focused" treatments focus on one particular issue in a highly-structured way, and there are often self-improvement homework assignments. Beckman notes, "Research shows that people who do their homework tend to get better, faster."
It's recommended to stay in therapy until your symptoms (sadness, angst) feel more manageable.
Therapists who focus on depression and anxiety, for instance, work between eight and 20 sessions—or until a person's situation improves. Beckman says that people who have had one depressive episode are about 50 percent more likely to experience another within 10 years, so recurring therapy could lower the risk of relapse.
It's up to you to work with your therapist and discuss a proposed timeline. So far, I've spent nine months in therapy and don't see myself stopping any time soon.
Don't be afraid to tell your therapist something isn't working.
After developing a rapport, you should feel empowered to maintain open lines of communication and reassess your goals. "See how the relationship and course of therapy evolves over several sessions. If it's not a good fit, talk about it with the therapist," Beckman says. "I've had clients tell me, 'I wish we would focus more on X' or 'I would like it if you gave me more resources.'"
Know that you'll have to assess your progress.
Ultimately, therapy should improve your life. "It's an investment in your mental wellbeing, which is just as important and plays a big role in your physical wellbeing," Conasan says. "You should feel that you're making changes—that something is working or there's a shift."
My (unprofessional) advice?
I've learned, there's really no such thing as a "cure" for your emotional distress.
My therapist has taught me certain rituals that help me overcome the daily brunt of depression and anxiety. Often, she'll suggest I practice mindful breathing, journaling, or work on altering potentially damaging behavior (not sleeping, having too much wine). This helps me, and when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I know which baby steps to take in order to cope. Though I do sometimes still fall victim to my own overthinking.
What often helps me is to remember that I'm allowed to feel down. "The experience of some sadness and anxiety is normal. You can't completely eliminate these from your life, and sometimes attempts to do that cause more problems," Beckman told me. "We try to increase people's capacity for lovingly embracing the full range of their emotional experiences and getting them to act in ways that work for them."
In other words, take it one day at a time. As Maya Angelou once said, "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
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Revisiting Vietnam: The Haunted Paradise
This story was awarded First Place in Feature Writing by the ASPA
Jessi Rucker, Senior Editor
The first few days in Ho Chi Minh my friends and I explored under the torrid sun; taking in the city and eating the spiciest and wildest food we could find. The restaurant seating was almost always outdoors and the chairs were like that of a child's playroom- colorful, plastic and miniature. The Vietnamese people were overwhelmingly friendly and often in awe of seeing five, seemingly huge Americans.
As I strolled the busy streets buzzing with the sound of motorbikes, many of the Vietnamese men would innocuously stare, presumably at my blonde hair and tattoos, which were clearly foreign. I felt like a celebrity but less graceful, as I excitedly grinned and waved. Little kids would approach us travelers wide-eyed and puzzled, stopping just short of our pale legs to give us an extensive evaluation. One beaming mother lifted her infant up towards me, motioning to take a picture of her ear-pierced daughter dressed in bright polka dots.
Very few restaurants or stores appeared to have any semblance of a door, just an open wall like a garage or a dollhouse. They were family-run businesses expressed by their genuine interest in our patronage. It was quite unlike the indifferent disposition of the average American department store clerk or deli worker. Although the U.S. had a presence in the country for almost 20 years, I had yet to find much of a trace.
It isn't uncommon for boys to count down the days until Christmas, the last day of school or a new movie release but back in the 1960s and 70s there was a different reason for marking days off of a calendar for young Americans. They called it being "short," that meant there were only a number of days left before their mandatory one year tour of duty completed in Vietnam.
"After my first thirty or forty days of being there I stood at a memorial service of a soldier that was killed. Then, flash forward to ten months later- I'm standing again at a memorial service for another soldier," Sgt. John Thomas accounts. "I think to myself- 'Wow, I'm still here'."
As the prayer was being read, John made his own dire plea.
"I just prayed I'd make it out alive. Back to… 'the world', as we called it."
Vietnamese tourism has risen by 286 percent in the past ten years generating 3 billion dollars in annual revenue, according to the General Statistics Office of Vietnam. With beautiful landscapes and the US dollar stretching a long way Southeast Asia has been a booming travel destination. As many as 400,000 Americans are expected to visit Vietnam this year, according to the Vietnam National Administration of Tourism.
Just blocks away from where a young John opened up his fateful draft letter 42 years ago, I packed up my rucksack to explore Southeast Asia and fulfilling part of my goal- to see the world.
After two subway rides, two flights, a cab and 25 hours of travel I finally arrived in Ho Chi Minh from New York City.
After freshening up at the hotel we made it down to the lobby to ask Tink, our new pal at the front desk, how to get to some of the bars we had read about in our guidebooks. He had a petite frame, red wire-rim glasses and an adorable femininity about him.
"You going out now?" Tink asked surprised while looking questionably at his watch then back up at us. It was after ten.
"No good, no good to take your bag. Motorbike might take it," he said acting out a predatorial purse snatching.
We honored Tink's advice and left our purses and all but one camera bag back in the hotel room and followed the arrows he had marked on our free hotel map. It was late, dark and desolate and when motorbikes whizzed by I was glad I didn't have to clench on to my bag from the new fear that our little Tink had instilled in us.
John is from the neighborhood. You can tell from his thick East Village accent, popularity and if you're new to the bar- he will proudly tell you so. "Are my mountains blue?" he asks me every time I bring him a Coors Light, referring to the cold activated label. He has a hard personality but a gentle heart.
John drinks at my bar with me at least once a week and has for the last three years. Being a Vietnam vet does not define him, but it has had quite an effect on him. He can be easily agitated, impatient and brutally honest. But I've learned to keep the juke box down, wait until his beer is completely finished before offering up a new one and shower him with attention.
John makes sure to make his way through the bar saying his hellos and cracking jokes. He greets the ladies with a deep sing-songy, "How you do?" that often makes them giggle and blush. He plays the life of the party, singing Frank Sinatra over the jukebox and tells tales of his days as a Golden Glove boxer, before he went to Vietnam.
Occasionally he'll mention his war, especially during fleet week when him and other veterans will treat the young sailors to endless beers and whiskeys. Other times, on a quiet afternoon, he will tell me stories of his life in the army, stopping just short of any gruesome or painful memories.
At first I had some anxiety about telling him about my impending trip, unsure at how he'd react.
"Why the hell would you want to go there?" he said.
The U.S. Army gave each soldier everything he needed to board the plane: military ID, uniform, boots and hat. John was ready to board the plane in San Francisco dressed in fatigues with his sole personal belonging tucked into his back pocket- his wallet which contained pictures of his family and a pretty brunette from the Bronx, Mary Anne.
John made one last phone call to his mother who asked, "Johnny, are you coming back to me?"
"What are you talking about? Of course, " he said matter of fact, hiding his fear from her.
On the afternoon of Jan. 7, 1968 the 47th Infantry, 9th Division, 2nd brigade, 4th Battalion flew into Bien Hoa Airport. John was no longer John he was 'Sergeant John T.' and would be referred to as such for his mandatory one-year of service.
"I was immediately scared. The reality hit me and I knew it was a matter of life and death," John recalled.
John and his unit were immediately loaded into trucks from the airport and moved down south to the Mekong Delta Region in Southwest Vietnam, where significant fighting had been taking place for the past year.
John and his unit the Mobile Riverine Force, armed with M-16s and M-60s would traipse through thick mud while bulky rucksacks hung from their tired backs filled with three days worth of ammunition and canned meals.
The night of his birthday John recalls being asked an important question. Not if he wanted chocolate or vanilla cake or what kind of liquor he wanted to shoot down with his pals. But how he wanted to kill.
"Patrol or ambush?" his superior asked him.
He chose to wait patiently for someone to signal and then fire into the darkness. He was stationed on the grounds of a pagoda where he spent the night clenching his M16, laying on a cool marble slate he assumed was a grave.
"How about that for a 20th birthday?" John said with his white eyebrows raised.
Unfortunately the painstaking missions were part of the job and John had no choice but to fight, not just for democracy, also for his own life. Over 58,000 American soldiers were killed in the course of the war.
"There is a lot of stress involved," says John. "You come back from an operation, back to base and you breathe a nice big sigh of relief. You were living in constant fear- no one wants to go home early."
When John was doing river patrol with his unit, their job was to trust no one. When they spotted a sampan, a long low-lying boat, approaching them, they would immediately motion for it to stop for inspection. They would check the boat for weapons and identification.
"You know if they started to flee they're up to something," John explains. "We would fire a warning shot to wake them up." If they caught the enemy they became prisoners of war.
POW's were often held in military prisons, but occasionally they would become a Chieu Hoi. A Chieu Hoi is a soldier that was once fighting with the other side and defected to work with the South Vietnamese and U.S. armies. John's platoon had a Chieu Hoi named Bin.
"They were often prisoners who had been cornered into fighting with us or decided to switch sides because they thought the Americans were going to win," John said.
Speculators guess that less than 25 percent of the defections were genuine. Sometimes after Chieu Hoi's were fed, clothed and given freedom they would escape in the middle of the night, returning to the other side.
"He was a good one," John explains when pointing at a picture of Bin posing on a dusty brown road with a floppy green hat. "He wanted freedom."
As John slowly rises out of his chair to retrieve another beer, I try hard to comprehend trusting a perfect stranger knowing they were once out to kill you.
"What do you think? You're gonna go to war unarmed?" he snaps after I question if Bin was given firearms like the rest of the guys.
The Cu-Chi tunnels, one of the most famous battlegrounds from the Vietnam War, is hours outside of the bustling part of Ho Chi Minh so two friends and I were forced to take an excruciating bumpy van ride on painfully barren roads to arrive at the site.
At the beginning of the tour we were sat down in what was once a bunker to watch a video. It began by explaining how peaceful the Cu Chi Village once was, and illustrated this point by black and white videos of school children studying and women riding bicycles under a canopy of palm leaves, all being scored with cheerful, melodic music.
Next, a dismal cloud rolls in over the tranquil village, the music turned dark and venomous and an awkward voice over translator states:
"Cu Chi, a land for relaxation and vacation was devastated by cruel Americans… Who was their target? Like a crazy bunch of devils they fired into women and children…Buddhist temples…"
The list of "targets" went on and on, mentioning everything from trees to school supplies. The video then told heroic tales of Vietcong guerillas and how many Americans they killed as the three of us shifted awkwardly in our seats.
I struggled to find a fitting reaction to the allegations being made. Although, I know there are two sides to every war, I wasn't sure if the video was intended as a historic glimpse into the propaganda of the NVA or if we were actually trying to be convinced by the tour that Americans were evil. Confused and saddened I traipsed back out onto the trail.
The tunnels and Cu Chi guerillas did put up a good fight against the American troops. The tunnels, that stretch 75-miles, were often thought to be much shorter and contained strategically placed booby-traps. The guerillas spent hours and sometimes days underground, making explosives, trap doors and punji stake pits.
"A lot of it was luck," John states when recalling the abundance of booby traps down south where he was stationed. "You had to be cautious every single step."
After the U.S. Army dropped giant bombs from planes and shot heavy mortars from boats, the grounds troops were sent in to scour the area. Lo and behold, there would still be shots firing from the dust and destruction from the Viet Cong hiding in the tunnels. Occasionally, the U.S. troops sent specialized "tunnel rats," who were sleek and small and were able to squeeze into the tiny tunnels in seek of Charlie.
"Hopefully they didn't run into women or children," John says, referring to the tunnel rats. "We would never want to harm them, but unfortunately, if someone starts shooting at you, you have no choice but to defend yourself."
"There's lots of sacrifice in war on both sides," John says grimly. "A lot."
I watch John tense up whenever war talks get too candid. He was exposed to Agent Orange, which gave him a blood disease. He knows exactly how many men in his platoon lost their lives the year he served. 34.
One of them his best friend, died in his arms. John saw many people die, some by his own hands and is still haunted by the memories. It is obvious to me as I watch an array of emotions from across his kitchen table.
"That stuff is for my therapist, not you," he says staring down at his beer and then shaking his head as if to empty the thoughts from his head.
As John flips through the pictures from Vietnam his narratives and expressions are mixed. The tales of camaraderie of the young men are in great contrast to those involving the intensity of war.
John stops at a page and points to a specific picture. It's of two bodies tied to telephone poles, their limbs limp and their heads sagging lifelessly from their tattered bodies. It's a frightening picture one might come across in Time magazine or a war museum, quite odd to be squeezed into the plastic sheath of a three-ring binder. John explained to me that the corpses were dangerous VCs that John's platoon had been ordered to kill.
"We had to take them to town to show the people that we got 'em," he casually states.
The picture is haunting. Not just because of the content but its random placement amongst jovial shots of young men gathered at base camp smoking cigarettes and drinking beer, things I feel young American boys are supposed to do.
Beer was always a staple at base camp, John explains. In fact, after a mission their captain wouldn't allow the boat to be moved to a new location until they had finished their beer.
One night when John and the boys were kicking back and drinking, a red flare burst up into the dark sky. The color red was the warning for a mortar attack and they quickly rushed down into the bunker for safety. Once they reached the bunker, squeezed in like sardines, they looked around in panic.
"Who's got the beer?" one of them exclaimed.
"What do you mean, you forgot the beer?" the others chimed in.
There was no way they were going to spend their evening shoulder to shoulder in the steamy bunker without any refreshments, so two volunteers were called on to dash up to grab some beer. And beef jerky, of course.
After we left Ho Chi Minh we traveled through the Mekong Delta, an area that had been nearly destroyed during the war, going on day trips on boats where we were fed local island delicacies, each one fresher and more colorful than the next. We spent a few dollars a day and took pictures that paled in comparison to the priceless memories and experiences. We were gracious and respectful and were received with an abundance of warmth.
John asked me how the people treated me in Vietnam and he raises his eyebrow suspiciously and acts surprised when I tell him they were really welcoming.
"How did the civilians treat you?" I asked.
"Well, G.I. was number one while we were there. We'd leave and Charlie came in, then Charlie was number one," he says raising his voice and relaxing his arms, defeated.
"You would have to be a fool to go," he quickly responds when I ask if he would do it again, knowing what he knows now.
After the Tet Offensive and the public perception of the Americans losing the upper hand, Lyndon Johnson made a bold move, deciding to halt the North Vietnamese bombing at the Ho Chi Minh border and suspending plans to send 250,000 more troops.
"What are we doing here?" John says mimicking the troops when news spread that the President was not backing them up.
"We are fighting and making sacrifices. We've got men maimed, lost limbs, mental breakdowns, fatalities and we're giving up?" He says mournfully. "We really thought the war was winnable."
"I got sold out," he says sadly. "I am a patriot. I was when I went to war, while I was there and I still am," he says lifting his head back up.
John sympathizes with the troops overseas today and questions the validity of America's involvement in those wars with the resentment he harbors from his time deployed. John hasn't voted in a single election after the war because he feels his government let him down.
"I thought we were trying to bring them peace," he says disappointed.
"Where is the border?" I begged, banging on the drivers window.
Jim, my fellow traveler, and I had just been dumped out into a vacant lot after a long van ride we had anticipated would take us right into Cambodia. We had spent an amazing two days lounging on the sandy beaches of a tiny Vietnamese island and still numb from the banana wine we had hoped for a smooth transition to our next destination.
I anxiously waited for a response. The driver took a long pause that I had assumed was necessary in making a helpful translation but instead of offering help he sped away, leaving Jim and I in a pool of hopeless dust. The other riders had dissipated and we were left alone. My heart raced and I swallowed nervously.
Across the lot were four men on motorbikes revving their engines aggressively. Before we could even get our bearings they had encircled us. The men were motioning for us to get on the bikes, excitedly reaching their arms out to grab our heavy rucksacks off our backs.
"Cambodia. The border. How far?" Jim asks dropping his pack while motioning for me to do the same. The growls from the bikes and the men's insistence on jumping upon them had us both feeling uneasy. I was not eager to split up with Jim ride for a precarious ride with a complete stranger who spoke no English.
"Border," they each repeated over and over, nodding but unable to elaborate.
Confusion ensued until the youngest of the men kindly shut off his bike and motioned for us to come sit down and look at a map. After a lengthy discussion we agreed to take the motorbikes across the border and to the next bus station, which was 20 miles deep into Cambodia, as precarious as it was we had no alternative.
Luckily I was partnered with the young fellow who gently placed my rucksack on his lap and buckled a red helmet on my head. He patted a small space on the seat behind him. I gave Jim a brief, 'here goes nothing' nod and jumped on.
"I kissed the ground," John says when recalling the day he made it back to the US.
He had heard about the anti-war protests in Washington D.C. and masses of activists gathering at Washington Square Park, just blocks from his family's New York apartment but he wasn't sure what to expect.
"I get back and there was nothing. Nobody cared about us. No hooting or hollering, 'glad you made it's," he explains his voice softening with every word. "We thought we were patriots. Fighting for our country."
About 25 percent of the men sent to fight in Vietnam did not volunteer but were drafted, their lives being forever changed when or if they made it back.
John explains, of course his family was ecstatic to see him and some friends would came by to welcome him home but other than that he felt him and his time spent risking his life went disregarded.
"If anyone said anything at all to us it would be 'war-monger' or 'baby killer,'" he says, still embarrassed and hurt.
"Once you take your uniform off your just a guy again," John stated then takes a long deep breath.
I can see it hurts him to remember a time when he was sent away to grow up way too fast to return with no war won and an icy public reception. He seems sad, that it might have been in vain.
"We really did think we were giving them freedom."
As we approached the border, my left knuckles white from clenching the base of my seat, I felt a sense of nostalgia and carefully waved goodbye to Vietnam. It was beautiful and welcoming, quite contrary to the violent photographs and war movies I had always equated it with. Although it was gratifying to make it to the border, it was bittersweet.
As we made our way into the Cambodian countryside, I began to relax, calmed by the lush green vegetation and the expansive red clay road ahead. I loosened my grip from the waist of my new companion and he taught me how to say hello in Cambodian.
"Akun," I repeated.
"Yes," he said proudly over the low hum of the motor.
I giggled at how leery I had been about the ride that was sure to be a highlight of my trip.
In a war-torn region that John had traveled half way around the world in hopes of instilling peace, I had found serenity. I was not an invader. Nor a patriot. Nor even an American, the same way there were not Vietnamese. I was just a woman sharing smiles and laughs with new friends in an ancient paradise.
I could never explain this to John or make him understand. He would curse and shake his head. The same way I can only listen to his stories and not completely understand them.
As the sun beat down on my shoulders cooled by the breeze of the motorbike I entered Cambodia, I glanced back.
I felt like I was leaving home.
Jessi Rucker is a Kansas chick that writes by day and runs restaurants by night. She has traveled all over the country and throughout Asia. She has served...
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Chayim Tauber • Apr 14, 2012 at 9:55 pm
This is a brilliantly organized bit of writing. The way the past turmoils of the place were interwoven with the story of your vacation; a before-and-after snapshot of sorts was a brilliant piece of writing. Can easily see why this would be an award winning piece.
https://theimpactnews.com/news/2011/03/11/revisiting-vietnam-the-haunted-paradise/#comment-2959