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Archive for the 'Here and now' Category
Filed under: Here and now, Looking back |
Mom died five years ago. Today, I burned, recycled and threw away some of her mail from the early 2000s. It was the first batch of her many belongings in my basement that I've gone through since she died.
I'm used to having a messy basement. I grew up in a house with a ridiculously messy basement. At the bottom of the steps, we took a sharp left turn to access the narrow path to the washer and dryer in the back room, where the furnace was. When I was finished with a toy or grew out of my clothes, I'd go to the bottom of the steps and toss whatever I was discarding into the pile of family junk that filled up most of the main room.
Our basement in this house has gone through phases in the 22 years we've lived here. The woman who owned the house before us let her dog use the concrete basement floor as a toilet, so it started out bleachy-clean. Over the years we've accumulated various household goods and, in 2007, we stored a bunch of Mom's things downstairs after we moved her out of an apartment and in to assisted living. Were I more organized, I might have discarded mail dating back to 2001 at that time, but I didn't. Nor did I organize the hundreds of loose photos that were scattered around her apartment. While she was still sick, I couldn't bear the thought of doing any more work related to Mom than what I was doing as her caregiver. After she died, I pretty much shut down to completing any task related to Mom. And I've stayed that way for five years. So her belongings have remained untouched.
In January 2019, we renovated our kitchen, and moved most of our kitchen items to the basement. With some of those things still downstairs gathering dust and a pandemic elliptical machine in the process of being shipped, we have reached an agreement: We will spend some amount of time every day working on getting the basement in order. (For the record, Patrick is much more dedicated to this kind of work. I find it overwhelming – even though it in no way resembles the basement of my childhood.)
So today, after doing some organizing in the laundry area and setting aside clothes for donation, I grabbed an accordion file folder of Mom's labeled "Mail to go through." I sat on the living room floor with Mom's file folder and sorted the contents in three piles: fireplace, recycling bin, trash.
Things that caught my eye:
Mom looked into cremation in 1996 – nine years before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.
Mom paid certain bills in installments, and wrote notes to herself about how much she had paid on what date, and how much she still owed.
Mom had collections of different kinds of stickers – smiley faces, Christmas trees, dogs. I kept the dog stickers.
Mom had a CT scan of her abdomen in 1997. I remember vaguely that she told me – after she knew she was OK – that she had had a health scare. That she had been concerned she might have pancreatic cancer. At the time I was hurt that she hadn't told me earlier. But now I understand – and the parallel strikes me as … perhaps meaningful, but probably just a coincidence?
I had a CT scan of my abdomen Monday. I got my results today – all clear, no abnormalities in any organs and an update on the misaligned vertebrae in my lower back that I've known about for years. I talked to my doctor about unexplained lower abdominal pain a few weeks ago, and she ordered the scan out of an abundance of caution. I saw on the order today that the screening was for possible gynecologic cancer – which I understood was probably the case, but hadn't been explicitly stated. I haven't told anyone about that scan except for two colleagues, but in only vague ways. There was nothing really to tell people because I didn't know anything. Why cause alarm when I didn't have any answers? I assume Mom felt the same way. That said, it did cross my mind several times this week that I wished Mom were around to talk to while I waited for my results.
Filed under: Dad, Here and now, Looking back |
Though I don't care much about the transition to a new year, I was perfectly happy to put the 2010s behind me — a decade marked by the death of both of my parents, and the hardest of my caregiving years with Mom. In 2020, I thought, I could focus on looking forward rather than getting hung up on past sad events.
And then I got sick, on Jan. 2. And I couldn't talk to Dad about it. Even as a middle-aged adult, I want to talk to Dad when I don't feel good. That's just how it has always been. In my case, having a physician for a Dad has meant talking to him about all kinds of ailments, whether they're related to his specialty or not.
My sister Laura talking to Dad during our summer vacation in 2018. I believe they had some discussions about health, too.
What started as a cold morphed into an ear infection and then, after 10 days of antibiotics, I had an apparent recurrence of viral symptoms that still bother me somewhat to this day, more than four weeks since it all began. And I feel very sorry for myself. Missing Dad does not help.
I don't know that I would have called Dad about this particular bout with bacteria. But I put something on Facebook about taking antibiotics; Dad, a daily Facebook user, would undoubtedly have checked in on my timeline to see how I was doing. And then probably would have again a few days later. (I am confident this would be the case because Dad makes frequent appearances in my Facebook memories, which is both wonderful and heartbreaking.) Being sick has also meant for most of my adult life that I should stay away from Dad because, because he was a transplant patient, his immune system was suppressed. He spent one whole winter several years back fighting what he suspected was whooping cough. So minimizing his exposure to germs was important.
This has evoked many childhood memories of my various illnesses and accidents. Poor Dad was called in for doctor duty even though we didn't live with him after my parents divorced. When I was very young and fell on my face in a neighbor's driveway, he took me to University Hospital at Ohio State to get stitches in my forehead. When the wound had healed, he came over to remove my stitches as I lay draped across his lap in a chair. I was squirmy and did not make it easy for him. He visited when I got chickenpox, and he identified the reason my throat was so sore, which was an abnormal symptom: I had a chickenpox blister on my uvula.
I had multiple cases of tonsillitis as a kid, and as a result my tonsils are enormous. I wanted to have them removed but Dad said no. "They're there for a reason."
In eighth grade, I had an astounding total-body case of poison ivy. To this day, I don't know how I got it, but my body responded as if I had rolled in it. My face was in full crust mode by the time Dad came by to examine me. "You look like the Incredible Hulk," he said. I cried, being an unrecognizable 13-year-old girl who itched from head to toe, and was therefore very sensitive. He took me to a dermatologist colleague's house after work on that occasion, and we left with a prescription for a tapered dose of steroids that cleared me up quickly.
I have small veins like Dad did, so blood draws can be complicated. In high school, I helped organize a blood drive. Near its conclusion, I sat down to make my first blood donation. The Red Cross staff could not find a good vein — though not for lack of trying, by poking me in the arm repeatedly. I was embarrassed, sore and upset, and that failure was so memorable that I have never tried since to give blood. I got mono later that year. Dad took me to the hospital to confirm the diagnosis, and I told the phlebotomist she'd have a hard time drawing my blood. She rolled her eyes and got the sample she needed on the first try. I've always been thankful to Dad for taking me to her.
Most recently, in 2018, he talked to Patrick and me through our cases of influenza — my mild case, thanks to my annual flu shot, and Patrick's lengthier case that involved taking Tamiflu. And Dad, a gastroenterologist, was the obvious go-to when Patrick had diverticulitis. They had a couple of marathon phone sessions talking about symptoms and treatment options.
As I blogged about Mom, I was often frustrated that I didn't have very strong memories of my day-to-day life growing up, and that many of my memories related to negative events. Similarly, memories of my weekly visits, along with Jeff and Laura, with Dad after our parents divorced are not vivid. But the memories I do have about my encounters with him during my childhood are much more likely to be positive, even if they revolved around being sick. My guess is the value of having his attention increased dramatically after he no longer lived with us. In fact, I have no memories of our family life — or of any part of my life — before he moved out, save for a select few isolated events — like how my neighbor friends made fun of me for walking around shirtless when I was about 4, trying to be like a boy.
I should have known that the start of a new decade wouldn't make one bit of difference in how I think about my life. The past is important — especially as I age and try to draw on lessons I've learned, or remind myself of problems I have solved, or take pride in what I've accomplished personally and professionally. And, most important of all, as I remember my parents, and others, who are gone, with the benefit of wisdom and gratitude that comes with the passage of time.
Filed under: Dad, Here and now |
The most important vote taken today by Ohio State's Board of Trustees, in my humble opinion, was approval of the resolution in memoriam honoring my dad. I've pasted the text in below – the pdf is hard to read.
Synopsis: The Board of Trustees of The Ohio State University expresses its sorrow regarding the death on June 5, 2019, of James H. Caldwell, MD, Professor Emeritus of Internal Medicine in the College of Medicine.
Professor James Caldwell did his undergraduate and medical school training at The Ohio State University, receiving his MD and acceptance into the Alpha Omega Alpha honor society in 1963. He completed his internship in Medicine at the University of Chicago Hospitals only to return to The Ohio State University College of Medicine to serve as a junior assistant resident in Medicine from 1964-65. His residency training was interrupted by a call to service in the United States Air Force, where he served as a Captain from 1965-67. Dr. Caldwell then completed his residency in Medicine at The Ohio State University Hospitals, as well as a fellowship in Gastroenterology. He joined the Ohio State faculty upon completion of his fellowship in 1970, and rose in the ranks to full professor in 1981.
His numerous accomplishments in medical research and education endeared him to his peers and trainees. During his tenure at Ohio State, Dr. Caldwell served as an investigator with the Office of Research and Sponsored Programs and was the associate director of the Independent Study Program from 1994 to 2001. He was nationally recognized as a leader in the study of intestinal digitalis glycoside transport, as well as eosinophilic gastroenteritis, and was awarded multiple extramural grants in relation to this field of study. He also received numerous honors and awards for his teaching contributions to the College of Medicine. Most notably, he received the Outstanding Teacher Award for the Problem-Based Learning Program in 1992, and participated in both national and local post-graduate courses.
Dr. Caldwell was on staff as a highly respected academician, researcher and clinician for 38 years. He was an outstanding role model for medical students, trainees and his peers, and he brought a humanistic approach to medicine. He received a heart transplant in 1994 and continued to work until his retirement in 2008. During his recovery from his heart transplant, he found solace in gardening. Through the help of OSU Extension, he became a Master Gardner and continued his training in life.
He was a truly wonderful person, physician and scholar, and he was first and foremost dedicated to his family. He is survived by his wife of 46 years, Dr. Patricia Caldwell, a physician in her own right who was also his colleague. She retired from Ohio State's Division of Cardiology in 2009, and continues to hold an appointment as Professor Emeritus.
On behalf of the university community, the Board of Trustees expresses to the family of Professor James Caldwell its deepest sympathy and sense of understanding of their loss. It is directed that this resolution be inscribed upon the minutes of the Board of Trustees and that a copy be tendered to his family as an expression of the board's heartfelt sympathy.
At Dad's memorial service, my sister Laura read a poem she had written in February 1994. By this time, Dad had been hospitalized for several months, waiting for a donor heart. And my niece Julia, Laura's daughter, selected a poem to read for the service. I have been meaning to share them here for some time.
by Laura Caldwell
Everywhere I look I see your heart.
It's pulsating on the stove in the meat sauce
marinating with sugar and cumin to fill
my children's plates and stomachs.
And woven into a wool muffler it
circles my daughter before it shapes
my lips as they kiss the rose on her cheeks.
Imprinted in the gauze of a band-aid
stuck to my skin, it continues to
dress subtle abrasions and inflamed wounds.
So solidly are your arteries built
into the bricks of my mantel, I cannot imagine
that blinking embers could still.
If only I could collect all of these
hearts, graft them into a valentine and
deliver them to your sterilized room,
Maybe then your new heart would come.
Written February 14, 1994. Dad received his heart 10 days later, on Feb. 24, 1994.
TRAIN RIDE
by Ruth Stone
All things come to an end;
small calves in Arkansas,
the bend of the muddy river.
Do all things come to an end?
No, they go on forever.
They go on forever, the swamp,
the vine-choked cypress, the oaks
rattling last year's leaves,
the thump of the rails, the kite,
the still white stilted heron.
All things come to an end.
The red clay bank, the spread hawk,
the bodies riding this train,
the stalled truck, pale sunlight, the talk;
the talk goes on forever,
the wide dry field of geese,
a man stopped near his porch
to watch. Release, release;
between cold death and a fever,
send what you will, I will listen.
from In the Next Galaxy © Copper Canyon Press, 2002
At long last, I am publishing the eulogy Patrick wrote for Dad's memorial service, which was held on Monday, June 10, 2019.
On display during calling hours and the celebration of Dad's life: Pat made the quilt as a gift for Dad's 75th birthday. The family photo was taken during a Caldwell family vacation at Bald Head Island several summers ago. The piece at right was a gift to Dad upon his retirement from Ohio State's medical center. The cane lying across the front of the stand was made for Dad by a grateful patient.
We Caldwells didn't trust ourselves to get through a eulogy, so Patrick was recruited. He labored over it for hours and hours with just a few days to prepare. After the service, a friend asked me if I had written it, because I am a writer. But no, this comes straight from Patrick's heart and mind and affection for Dad. And we thought it was perfect.
I'm here to try to tell a story. This is my story.
We are here to remember and honor James Hudson Caldwell, MD. He was born March 27, 1939, in Bellaire, Ohio. His parents were Robert M. and Goldie Caldwell. He has a brother, Bob.
He graduated from Shadyside High School and earned his undergrad and medical degree at THE Ohio State University. He skipped grades between elementary and high school and he completed his undergraduate degree in 3 years. He was a gastroenterologist at The Ohio State University Medical Center.
In Columbus, Ohio, on Dec. 22, 1956, Colo the gorilla became the world's first gorilla born in a zoo setting…
That's quite a transition.
In the early 1970s, Colo was having GI issues. A call for help and James Caldwell came to the rescue — imagine a shirt with a colon shaped into an S.
Colo was the first gorilla born in captivity and Dr. James Caldwell was the first physician to perform a GI procedure on a gorilla — in Columbus, Ohio, U.S., North America, the world, etc.
Emily remembers that the procedure occurred in the grass: Colo, Dad, and a zookeeper. As the anesthesia began to wear off, Colo gave a little squeeze of Dad's arm. OK, I THINK IT IS TIME TO END THIS PROCEDURE.
Although he was accomplished academically and professionally, this man saved the life of a gorilla!
He shared with me that one of his greatest regrets was not making the Ohio State University Marching Band as an undergrad. His gait made it difficult for him to march, so he didn't make the cut.
I'm somewhat surprised that this incident did not lead him to study orthopedics for a few years, just for the fun of it.
He served in the U.S. Air Force in Grand Forks, North Dakota. He was a longtime model train enthusiast.
I also grew up in a small town that had a rail line running through it. So I grew up, possibly like Dad: Windows open in the summer. I would hear, late at night, the sound of the train, coming from somewhere, but also moving on.
That sound, for me, will always take me to that time. The sounds of trains are evocative for me.
Jim was, however, the practical environmentalist: trains and light rail can be an efficient and carbon-neutral form of mass transportation. But he also dreamt of the Caldwell Memorial Monorail that would connect campus and downtown.
I think trains also took him back…
He was a loving husband, father, grandfather, and father-in-law.
For those of you who did not know me in the 1980s or 1990s, I used to have hair…a lot of hair. In 1988, when I first met Dad — Karl Marx, Albert Einstein, Bozo the Clown. I wanted to be Marx. I knew I would never be Einstein. But I think Jim — Dad — probably thought BOZO. And looking back, I can't disagree.
After college, Emily and I spent some time apart. Emily went to Maine to work as a journalist. She covered George Bush Sr. in Kennebunkport, Maine. (I think her work on the "recycle-gate" controversy led to Bush Sr. being only a one-term president. Ask her about it.)
I went to Kentucky for grad school to study sociology. The sociology department once gave me an award for having the hair that was most similar to Bart Simpson's hair. I was still struggling.
Then in early 1994, two hearts began the process of bringing Emily and me back together. They were not our hearts. Jim had a heart transplant. My dad, a quadruple bypass and valve replacement.
We reconnected over our fathers' hearts.
Later in 1994, Emily and I got engaged. I'm certain that I spent time with Dad and Pat before our wedding in 1995, but it was at our wedding that I knew Jim loved me.
While Dad was a conversationalist, in 1995, he could be a bit circumspect when it came to verbally expressing emotion. So he expressed his emotions through his actions.
I was crying a bit during our wedding, and couldn't get to a tissue or handkerchief. I think this touched Jim.
We were married in a barn, on a little stand in the middle. Families facing each other…the Hatfields and Corleones.
When I came off of the stand, he caught me and held me. I will always remember that hug and the love I felt in that moment.
From then on, I was lucky enough to have a second father in Jim.
I had a dad in Ohio in addition to my dad who ended up living in that state up north (O-H…) [Yes, attendees responded with I-O.]
I think Dad appreciates that response.
My mom still roots for the Bucks.
Dad was a Master Gardener.
Dad enjoyed a good meal.
Fish Fest became a Christmas Eve tradition.
At the end of the Fish Fest, at the end of any meal or any visit, we would say it was time to leave, and never go. Dad would start another story or continue with the story he was telling.
We always had more to say, more stories to share. We just wanted to spend a few extra moments together. Even when it was time to go, we wanted to hear one more story.
Dad was born in a small Ohio town.
He loved trains.
He helped save the life of a gorilla and the lives of actual people.
He loved gardening and the environment.
He was always on the lookout for a new restaurant and a good meal.
He gave a great hug.
He was a loving husband, father, grandfather, friend.
He will always be with us when we tell our stories of him.
Dad's heart
A girl can get greedy, and become disillusioned, when her dad has a heart transplant in 1994 and is still around to celebrate his heart day every Feb. 24 for 25 years. And then celebrates his 80th birthday. I considered 2019 a good year for my dad, James H. Caldwell, MD. His birthday was on a Wednesday in March, so we planned to whoop it up in his honor in July at Bald Head Island, our beloved Caldwell family vacation spot. We will still observe that birthday and celebrate his remarkable life in late July. His seat will be empty, but he will be with us.
Dad died at around 9 p.m. Wednesday, June 5, at Ohio State's Ross Heart Hospital. He had been hospitalized for 10 days for what began as a GI bleed. Multiple tests failed to identify the source of the bleed, and it eventually stopped after he was taken off his blood thinner. He experienced a slowed heart rate during one test, leading to some electrophysiology testing and procedures. His last procedure, to check for clots in his atrium (no clots found), was successfully completed Wednesday afternoon. He'd be in for observation for two days and home by the weekend. And then, disaster struck, in what we assume was a pulmonary embolism, or perhaps a massive heart attack.
Being in the hospital meant Dad was missing valuable late spring outdoor time. A lover of gardening for as long as I've been alive, he became a Master Gardener through OSU Extension over the many months of his recovery after his heart transplant. The house he and his wife Pat have lived in since 1991 has an enormous yard with room for vast perennial beds and a sizable vegetable garden — one of its major selling points. Poor Dad could never convince me to love gardening. I like the cosmetic and culinary results but I hate the work. But he had tomatoes and peppers that were ready for planting, pronto, and I was tasked with getting that done. I took it seriously, following his instructions and the layout he had drawn on a scrap piece of paper. "Lord help me if they don't thrive," I joked in a text to my siblings.
I enjoyed sending text updates over the past week to my brothers and sisters, who live in Seattle, Iowa, Grand Rapids, Cleveland and Brooklyn. The news about his health was always pretty good. Dad lost his temper one day with the medical staff because he was frustrated with the poor communication among the various teams working on his care – two different heart services and the GI service. His spirited response conveyed he had energy, an improvement over his weakness from anemia when he entered the hospital. And yet, for a long time he was what I describe as fragile, physically. Immunosuppression drugs take a toll on the human body, and he had osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, stress fractures, muscle detachments, renal failure and I don't even know what else. He had a bad infection last summer that set him back further, but, as a very compliant physical therapy patient, he rebounded nicely.
With Mom, whose death I anticipated for 10 years, I found myself surprised about how devastatingly sad I was when she died, considering I wanted her suffering to end. Dad has been fragile for many years, but was always fine with minimizing acknowledgment of his physical limits. So all of our conversations at the hospital over the past 10 days were characterized by an expectation that he would go home, take some time to regain strength, get back to the garden and ride in the car with me and Patrick for the trip to Bald Head Island. And so, his death was unexpected. And of course, I am devastatingly sad, while I am also so grateful that he lived as long as he did.
Dad was a master diagnostician, an educator, an intellectual, a conversationalist and storyteller, a lover of classical music, a foodie, an avid consumer of news and information, and, since the early 2000s, a progressive political activist. He and Pat were devoted to each other, and spent very little time apart over the course of their long marriage. And he leaves a legacy in his kids who, along with our families, are smart, talented — musicians, writers, poets, scholars (we all have postsecondary educations) — thoughtful, temperamental, driven by conviction, funny and a little bit (or a lot) cynical, and, like Dad, have a healthy appetite for delicious food and all of the joys, big and small, that life has to offer.
And just like that, three years have passed since Mom died. Oct. 27 was the anniversary of her death.
Earlier this month, Laura, Jeff and I spent a weekend together in New York to celebrate Mom. The year she died, we got together shortly after her funeral for a November weekend in New York, where Jeff and Laura lived at the time. We decided then that we would gather each fall for a weekend in memory of Mom. I call it Sibs in the City. And we have kept that promise to ourselves.
Below is a photo of us having drinks at the Whitby Hotel in New York on Oct. 6 after seeing a matinee of a terrific play. Our annual agenda would be roughly the same if Mom were along for the trip: some moderately fine dining, but nothing too fancy; a Broadway show – or two, or three; a little shopping; a museum exhibit if we can fit it in; blocks and blocks of walking; and time for a midday nap.
It is something positive associated with losing our mom.
We texted each other on Saturday (Oct. 27), Jeff first.
Jeff: Happy Mom day. Thinking of you two.
Me: Same to you. Will be writing a blog post. Love you.
Laura: Love to you both. You and Mom have been on my mind today.
Mourning the loss of a parent is an unpredictable experience, and we all grieve in our own way. I'm grateful, though, that the three of us have elected to lean into the shared experience, so at least sometimes, we don't have to do it alone.
Mom on my mind
Filed under: All about me, Here and now |
I was weary from a 10-hour car ride, my clothes a little disheveled and my arms draped over my backpack and a small cooler to keep them from falling off the tram bench. After 20 minutes on the ferry and now riding in an open-air shuttle to our rental condo, my hair was a wavy, windblown mess. I imagine my face registered the fatigue of the day as well as the satisfaction that comes with arriving at a vacation destination.
"You look a little like Bonnie," Patrick said.
Mom wasn't necessarily disheveled on a regular basis before she got sick, but she was typically informal in dress and manner. The same could be said about me, too, I think. I've tended to believe all my life that my facial features favor Dad, but there is no question that I share many of Mom's mannerisms. Slouching my way through a tram ride at the end of a long day would fit that description. My affection for lounging on a couch – any couch – is also a Bonnie trait that I cannot deny. I have a brother-in-law who jokes that Caldwell women have never met a couch they didn't love to lie on. I spent every evening of this vacation lounging on a couch and I end most days at home that way, too.
It was fitting to be thinking about Mom. This vacation to Bald Head Island, just Patrick and me, was sort of a do-over of our just-us trip to celebrate my 50th birthday 18 months ago, almost exactly, that was interrupted by Mom's rapid decline and swift transition into an active dying process. We stayed at the same condo and had the same low-key agenda. We had no special occasion to celebrate this time and no need to worry about Mom, either – something that I did during every trip to Bald Head Island from 2005 to 2015. But in my mind, at least, it represented a chance to make up for a vacation gone wrong and also a reason to reflect on what followed that – an intense and meaningful 10-day period spent shepherding Mom through her last days with this most dreaded disease, letting her go and celebrating her life, all the time surrounded by people I love and who love me and loved Mom.
I like to take long walks alone on the island, and I get all mushy about how pretty the maritime forest is and how relaxed I finally am or I dread an upcoming departure and I have a little cry. Last Sunday, I took a long walk and thought about Patrick telling me I looked like Mom and lamented the 10 years of vacation opportunities with Mom that Alzheimer's stole from me and tried to imagine Mom walking with me on that perfect day. And I had a little cry.
Bereavement leave, one year late
Filed under: All about me, Here and now, Looking back |
Mom's death occurred at a difficult time for me – not that it ever would have been a "good" time for her to pass away. But professionally, I was a wreck: Our office had lost four total staff members in the preceding several months, and I was also transitioning from one position to another, which was intended to be a promotion. Unsurprisingly, it took months for the transition to be made official. So I was trying to do my old job as well as the new one, the volume of work was as high as I had ever experienced because we were so short-staffed, and I was trying to prove myself worthy of a promotion without actually knowing exactly what that promotion would be. So let's just say I was experiencing a tremendous amount of work-related stress.
Some may remember that she also took a very bad turn while Patrick and I were away on a vacation to celebrate my 50th birthday. We arrived at our rental on Bald Head Island, N.C., on Sunday, I got a worrisome call from the Alz center on Monday and on Tuesday, a nurse told me she might not make it through the night. We sped back to Columbus on Wednesday to find Mom stable but showing obvious signs of labored breathing. I spent most of Thursday, my 50th birthday, at Mom's bedside until about 5 p.m., when I got a massage that Patrick had scheduled for me. That evening, I wrote the first draft of Mom's obituary.
This year, Patrick and I entertained thoughts of returning to Bald Head Island to try again for a birthday vacation. We thought we would fly instead of drive to save time and have a shorter trip. While I was looking at flight options and finding no good options, I began to cry – not because of the frustrations with scheduling, but because I realized I didn't really want to go. And not wanting to go to Bald Head is a very unfamiliar feeling. My interpretation of my emotional response is that I anticipated that I would be reliving much of that period of time as I approach the first anniversary of Mom's death. And the early departure from vacation was disappointing and upsetting and frightening because I thought Mom might die before I got home. So, for now, no October visits to the island. We now have our eye on a spring trip.
I am thinking a lot about that difficult week last year, from the Tuesday (Oct. 20) I realized we needed to get home to the next Tuesday, Oct. 27, when Mom died. I don't care that it all occurred around my 50th birthday – that created an interesting symmetry to my caregiving life. Mom was diagnosed a couple of weeks after my 40th birthday and died five days after my 50th birthday. Ten years, and 20 percent of my life – for some reason, I find meaning in that timing.
But I do regret how bad I was at taking care of myself. I finished my vacation time watching over Mom and spent two days of the following week by her side and the third just collecting myself on the day after she died. I went back to work two days after her death, at that time thinking that keeping busy would be better than being alone at home. (My brother and sister had the same experience – they missed very little work and had to travel two weekends in a row. And when Patrick's dad died in 2013 and he struggled with taking time off of work because he would miss an important meeting, I said to him: Nothing is more important than your dad's death. And your colleagues will understand that.) We had the memorial service on Saturday, and I returned to work on the following Monday. And it was clear to me that day, and for many days after, that I should not be at work, that I needed time to grieve and to rest. But I didn't. I was so desperately busy – all of us in my office were swamped – and I just felt I would be consumed with guilt if I took more time off. Guilt would be worse than grief, I reasoned.
Today, one year later, we are at full staff and I'm no longer uncertain about my role in the office. That makes taking time off easier, of course. But I also have a different perspective about self-care and don't intend to deny myself R&R again when I clearly need a break. It's better for my health and will make me a better worker and colleague. In lieu of traveling, Patrick and I are taking a staycation today through next Tuesday. My birthday falls in the middle, but even better than that is committing to six days of letting our wants and needs dictate how we spend our time. Patrick is studying for a licensing exam and I might do some deep house cleaning. Or, I might not. It has lifted my spirits in a way I didn't expect to schedule this time off and decline to set any expectations for myself. It's not really bereavement time, exactly, but it is definitely put-Emily-first time. Better late than never.
If I were so inclined, I could cry five or six times a day. But I am not inclined. What a mess I'd be. I make this claim, though, because my eyes threaten to generate tears in response to a variety of stimuli: a moving radio story, cute pet photos, news of a tragic death (human or pet, which may seem ridiculous, but it's the truth), a positive human interaction that gives me a warm feeling, my own rambling thoughts about Mom. Etc. I always stop myself, though. I kind of feel like if I let myself cry, I won't be able to stop … at least for a long while. So I don't go there. As my brother Jeff so aptly put it when I threatened to cry when leaving New York City last fall after our sibling visit, I suppress (it's helpful to visualize here the lowering of hands as if pressing down on something. In this case, emotions).
I think of this as a lasting element of grieving. But I suppose it also could be that I am a middle-aged woman whose hormones are playing tricks on her. I really don't know.
I do know that thoughts of Mom drift in and out all day, every day. I recently told a friend/co-worker about the emergency department experience we had when Mom fell and needed stitches. (That was five years ago. Seems like yesterday.) We were talking about our experiences with various medical staff – in this case, their shortcomings. I remembered the doctor was confident Mom's stitched-up wound would heal in a cosmetically satisfying way. And that the automatic blood pressure cuff scared Mom. I can laugh when I tell these stories and she did some funny things on that day. But then I fret about how scared she must have been. And how, that long ago, she could not understand instructions or make sense of the world around her. The doctor asked if her neck hurt and she replied, "Bonnie Caldwell." That is funny. But I shudder to think about her physical pain that resulted from that fall, and her inability to tell us what hurt.
I began writing this post on Aug. 24. Since then, two anniversaries have passed: Aug. 27, 10 months since Mom died, and Aug. 28, what would have marked seven years since she moved into the Alz center. Facebook memories from Augusts past have been full of reminders of her transition from assisted living to standard nursing home, being kicked out, and her improved mood upon moving to the Alz center. And also last August, when we had a family staycation in Columbus, and we were all together with Mom – including her two granddaughters.
The bumpiness of this post is a good representation of how I feel these days: scatterbrained, fretful, wistful, grateful, sorrowful, joyful, grumpy, peaceful.
Mostly I just wanted to check in. Mom is still a big part of my life.
Blog at WordPress.com.WPzone.net.


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Микола Юхимович Кручина (, село Новопокровка Каменського округу Сибірського краю, тепер Хабарського району Алтайського краю, Росія — покінчив життя самогубством , місто Москва) — радянський державний діяч, 1-й секретар Цілиноградського обласного комітету КП Казахстану, керуючий справами ЦК КПРС. Член Центральної Ревізійної комісії КПРС у 1966—1971 роках. Кандидат у члени ЦК КПРС у 1971—1976 роках. Член ЦК КПРС у 1976—1991 роках. Депутат Верховної Ради СРСР 7—11-го скликань. Народний депутат СРСР (1989—1991). Герой Соціалістичної Праці (10.12.1973).

Життєпис
Член ВКП(б) з 1949 року.

У 1952—1954 роках — 1-й секретар Новочеркаського міського комітету ВЛКСМ Ростовської області.

У 1953 році закінчив Азово-Чорноморський сільськогосподарський інститут.

У 1954—1957 роках — 2-й секретар, 1-й секретар Кам'янського обласного комітету ВЛКСМ.

У 1957—1959 роках — 1-й секретар Смоленського обласного комітету ВЛКСМ.

У 1959—1962 роках — завідувач відділу ЦК ВЛКСМ по роботі серед сільської молоді.

У 1962—1963 роках — інструктор сільськогосподарського відділу ЦК КПРС.

У 1963 — жовтні 1965 року — секретар Цілинного крайового комітету КП Казахстану.

У листопаді 1965 — 4 квітня 1978 року — 1-й секретар Цілиноградського обласного комітету КП Казахстану.

Указом Президії Верховної Ради СРСР від 10 грудня 1973 року за великі успіхи, досягнуті у Всесоюзному соціалістичному змаганні, і виявлену трудову доблесть у виконанні взятих зобов'язань із збільшення виробництва і продажу державі зерна та інших продуктів землеробства в 1973 році Кручині Миколі Юхимовичу присвоєно звання Героя Соціалістичної Праці з врученням ордена Леніна і золотої медалі «Серп і Молот».

У 1978—1983 роках — 1-й заступник завідувача сільськогосподарського відділу ЦК КПРС. У 1983 році — 1-й заступник завідувача відділу сільського господарства і харчової промисловості ЦК КПРС.

У вересні 1983 — 26 серпня 1991 року — керуючий справами ЦК КПРС.

Трагічно загинув (покінчив життя самогубством) 26 серпня 1991 року. Похований в Москві на Троєкуровському кладовищі.

Нагороди і звання
 Герой Соціалістичної Праці (10.12.1973)
 чотири ордени Леніна (25.10.1971, 13.12.1972, 10.12.1973, 13.05.1988)
 орден Жовтневої Революції (15.12.1982)
 два ордени Трудового Червоного Прапора (22.03.1966, 24.12.1976)
 два ордени «Знак Пошани» (26.04.1957, 30.08.1957)
 медалі

Примітки

Джерела
 Кручина Николай Ефимович
 Кручина Николай Ефимович

Депутати Верховної Ради СРСР 7-го скликання
Депутати Верховної Ради СРСР 8-го скликання
Депутати Верховної Ради СРСР 9-го скликання
Депутати Верховної Ради СРСР 10-го скликання
Депутати Верховної Ради СРСР 11-го скликання
Народні депутати СРСР
Члени ЦК КПРС
Політики-самогубці
Самогубці, які кинулися з висоти

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Trattoria Pielinen brings pure Italian flavours to the Finnish Lakeland. Its food is made with love from high-quality ingredients. The menu also includes large servings that can be divided between two people or a larger group. A live fire and a view out over the lake add to the atmosphere. The Summer Terrace above the spa and the restaurant offers an even more spectacular view over Lake Pielinen. Come and enjoy delicious food – after a day at the spa or just for its own sake!


This help section is intended to give background and further information on specific areas of the ADS-easy system.
Our About section provides background and general information on ADS-easy and the SWORDARM project.
More specific information about the using of the system is provided in the sections below.
If after looking through the appropriate help section you still have questions or are experiencing difficulties then please contact us.


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Home > Riviste > The Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness > Fascicoli precedenti > The Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness 2018 January-February;58(1-2) > The Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness 2018 January-February;58(1-2):106-12
CASE REPORT SPORT INJURIES AND REHABILITATION
The Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness 2018 January-February;58(1-2):106-12
Combined osteopathy and exercise management of Achilles tendinopathy in an athlete
Georgia ROSS 1, Chris MACFARLANE 1, Brett VAUGHAN 1, 2 ✉
1 College of Health and Biomedicine, Victoria University, Melbourne, Australia; 2 Institute of Sport, Exercise and Active Living, Victoria University, Melbourne, Australia
Mid-portion Achilles tendinopathy is a common injury in sporting populations. There is conflicting evidence about the best approach to conservative management. This report focuses on the rehabilitation of an Achilles tendinopathy utilizing osteopathic manual therapy (OMT) and a structured exercise program in a semi-professional volleyballer. The patient presented with a 4-month history of right mid-portion Achilles tendon pain that began after a lateral inversion sprain of the right ankle. The primary complaint was pain impacting the patients vertical jump performance. The patient complained of pain that was greatest in the morning and at the beginning of a training session prior to warming up. The inventory therapy was a combination of OMT. The manual therapy was complemented with a rehabilitation program. Outcomes were assessed with the Victorian Institute of Sport Assessment - Achilles (VISA-A), visual analogue scales (VAS), painful arc, London Hospital Test, soleus lunge test and maximum vertical jump. This case presented many challenging management options including a resolving right ankle lateral inversion sprain, a past history of contralateral Achilles tendinopathy and a high training load. The case demonstrated the importance of patient-centered practice. It was integral that the patient's role as a semi-professional athlete on the volleyball court was analyzed closely in order to replicate different facets of his game, so that the rehabilitation program could support a return to performance at the highest level. Once the initial deficits in mobility and strength were addressed, the rehabilitation program focus moved to injury prevention.
KEY WORDS: Manipulation, osteopathic - Rehabilitation - Exercise - Outcome assessment (health care)
Article first published online: April 13, 2017
Manuscript accepted: April 11, 2017
Manuscript revised: March 2, 2017
Ross G, Macfarlane C, Vaughan B. Combined osteopathy and exercise management of Achilles tendinopathy in an athlete. J Sports Med Phys Fitness 2018;58:106-12. DOI: 10.23736/S0022-4707.17.06817-7
brett.vaughan@vu.edu.au

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Westminster, Greater London
£44,000 per year + £3,500 Location Allowance
Contract, Fixed term contract until July 2022, Full-time
This is a really exciting time to join Girlguiding. We have much to be proud of in our one hundred years of history, but we know that to remain vibrant and relevant to young people we must continually evolve.
We have begun a process of significant change: transforming the organisation so it can meet the challenges of the future by putting young people at the heart of our organisation. We are on a mission to amplify the voices of girls and young women, so they can champion change in their own lives and the wider world; to build strong partnerships that can increase our reach and impact; and to increase the support we offer our amazing adult volunteers who deliver incredible experiences to young people across the UK every week.
Want to join a professional and collaborative HR team and lead on organisational design initiatives to support our transformation journey? In this generalist HR role, you'll work in partnership with our senior management team to deliver a strategic and operational HR service to support our refreshed people strategy. You'll be a key player in culture change to facilitate one team of volunteers and staff. You have a track record in providing a strategic generalist HR service and HR business partnering, to include organisational design. With strong interpersonal skills you enjoy influencing and negotiating with a variety of stakeholders, and are competent presenting to boards / directors on complex or controversial business. We look forward to you joining our team.
Girlguiding values the differences that a diverse workforce brings and is committed to inclusivity, and to employing and supporting a diverse workforce. Girlguiding is proud to be part of the Stonewall Diversity Champions programme, a member of the Business Disability Forum, and a member of Time to Change – improving attitudes towards mental health. While Girlguiding's young members may be girl only, our staff team is mixed gender. We welcome applicants from all backgrounds and do not discriminate on the basis of age, disability (physical or mental), gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion and belief, sex, and sexual orientation.
We are committed to supporting our staff to achieve a good work-life balance and offer flexible working options wherever we reasonably can. Girlguiding is a COVID secure employer, offering hybrid working and providing support for all employees during the current pandemic. All staff are required to carry out our online health and safety training and complete a DSE risk assessment to ensure we can provide the support you require.
More about Girlguiding
With Girlguiding girls have the best experiences
They go to their first ever sleepover, canoe on rivers, learn about body confidence,... Read more
Refreshed on: 02 December 2021
Tags: Human Resources, Management
FORWARD (Foundation for Women's Health, Research and Development)
St. Rocco's Hospice
Recruitment & Onboarding Coordinator - Golden Hello of £1000
Head of Region - West Midlands & South West
Speakers for Schools
Courses that may interest you…
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I am a better parent because of Children's Community Center (CCC). Yes, it's a preschool and our sons have grown and learned and made friends and so much more there. That's what preschools are really for, right? For the kids? Well, I might enjoy going to CCC than Benny.
Our next Outside Kids is going to be different because it will benefit our beloved CCC. On Sunday, March 9 we will head to Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve. We'll run and walk and stroll and climb and explore... all that's the same. But we'll also raise some money for CCC's scholarship fund. The suggested donation for adults is $10 and for kids is $5. If you want to give more, awesome. If that's more than your budget can allow, that's cool too. Just come. We're going outside and exploring and it'll be fun.
We'll meet in the Sibley parking lot at 10:30am. Bring lunch and water and good walking shoes. That's all you need. A nice-to-have-but-not-necessary is a picnic blanket.
We'll walk to some labyrinths and we'll walk in circles in/around them. We'll think about volcanoes and what they might really look like. We'll watch for birds and we'll definitely see cows. We did this CCC-Outside Kids mashup last year and this is what it looked like then.
If the weather is looking wet (which I kinda hope it will be... we need rain!), I'll post a go-no-go decision here on this website on Saturday, March 8.
More about Outside Kids over here. Directions to Sibley can be found here. All are welcome: current CCC families, CCC alumni, and anyone else who thinks kids are fun and funny.


Today is my stop on the blog tour for Two Sisters by Kerry Wilkinson and I get to share my review with you all. First though, here is all of the bookish information that you need to know!
I haven't read anything by Kerry Wilkinson (apart from a short story or two) so I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading Two Sisters. I certainly wasn't expecting to have it read so quickly, but his writing is so pacy and addictive. Two Sisters follows Megan and Chloe in the aftermath of their parents death in a car crash. Ten years ago their brother went missing and his body was never recovered, so they have experienced a double tragedy in their lives.
When they return to Whitecliff, where their brother disappeared, they are there to tidy up their parents affairs. However, trouble follows them almost immediately and the story goes in a direction I didn't anticipate. I found myself engaged in the story and I just had to keep reading to see what was going to happen.
Two Sisters is billed as a psychological thriller, but to be honest, there is a more YA-themed story going on there too. I think because the two main characters are relatively young that it felt more juvenile in terms of reactions and so on. I don't mean that in a negative way either, it just didn't have the adult-y feel to it!
I thoroughly enjoyed Two Sisters. It was an engrossing and twisty read.
I completely agree about the YA feel, that is not a complaint, just not what I expected. Also I wish there had been more focus on the mystery, it felt a tiny bit too character-driven for me. Great review!


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Extra inning rally gives Huskies 3-2 win over Cougars
The varsity baseball team defeated Shawnee Mission Northwest, 10-3 in a non-conference matchup at 3 & 2 Stadium Friday April 27. Sophomore Ryan Callahan went 3-for-4 with the game-winning RBI.
Gabe Swartz, Editor-in-chief
With two outs in the bottom of the sixth inning of the Huskies matchup with Shawnee Mission Northwest, senior Max Abramovich stepped foot on the mound at 3 & 2 Stadium. He replaced senior Scott Duensing, who spent his birthday night toying with SMNW hitters all night long.
Nearly a week after dominating Summit Christian Academy to the tune of eight strikeouts in a complete-game effort, Duensing dominated in a different way. The senior left-hander began his Friday night start with a five-pitch first inning and continued that trend in an efficient night by getting soft, early contact from the Cougar hitters he faced.
"I'd say the difference was I wasn't really locating my curveball down in the zone as well as I was on Saturday," Duensing said. "And credits to them. They're a good hitting bunch, they can really hit that first pitch curveball."
Matt Miller: 0-for-2, BB, HBP, 2 R, SB
Clayton Leathers: 1-for-4
Ryan Callahan: 3-for-4, 2B, R, RBI
Josh Fiene: 1-for-2, 2 BB, RBI
Holden Missey: 1-for-4, RBI, K
Sean Roseborough: 0-for-4, 2 K
Drew Black: 0-for-3, 3 K
Jack Beckley: 0-for-3, 3 K
Tyler McQuinn: 0-for-3, K
Scott Duensing (ND): 5.2 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 3 K
Max Abramovich (WP): 2.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 3 K
Duensing exited after pitching five and two thirds innings of one run ball, but left Abramovich in a tight spot with runners on first and third base for his first relief appearance of the season.
"It's always a different mindset, it's hard swapping from starter to closer, but I mean I just kept kind of the same routine and shortened it a little bit and then just went into the game," Abramovich, who threw six straight balls to start his relief appearance, said. "I didn't start out well, but I trusted the guys because our bats are insane."
Abramovich ended up walking in the tying run, but escaped the bases-loaded jam by inducing a ground ball to senior second baseman Drew Black to get out of the inning. After a quiet top half of the seventh, and clean bottom of the inning, the Huskies headed to extra innings tied at 2 apiece.
On a night where the bats were a bit quieter than in previous days– the Huskies scored 10 runs against Blue Valley West Tuesday and 12 runs against Blue Valley North Thursday– the Huskies offense showed up in the clutch in the top of the eighth inning. The Huskies sophomore leadoff man Matt Miller reached base via a hit by pitch, and after advancing to second base on a delayed steal, Miller watched as fellow sophomore Ryan Callahan strode into the batter's box.
On the first pitch of Callahan's at-bat, the sophomore shortstop drilled a fly ball down the left field line.
"I knew I was going to wait and get my pitch," Callahan said, "and I found my pitch and I squared it up."
As Callahan's fly ball flew toward the left field corner, the only question was whether the ball would stay fair so that Miller could score from second base. It did, and Miller slid in just before the throw home arrived, giving the Huskies a 3-2 lead.
"I was just thinking when I saw coach sending me home I was just thinking like run fast," Miller said.
After Miller slid into home with the go-ahead run, Callahan celebrated by pretending to unleash a pokeball in the direction of the dugout. With the one-run cushion in the bottom of the eighth inning, Abramovich was able to nail down the win. It was his fourth of the season, and the Huskies 10th.
On Tuesday, senior Josh Fiene produced 4 RBI against Blue Valley West. Thursday, it was junior Sean Roseborough going 4-for-4 with a grand slam and 7 RBI. On Friday night in Lenexa it was Callahan delivering with the double in the eighth inning. In a week in which the Huskies brought the offensive firepower to the DAC en route to a three-win week, Callahan said it was a week that showed anyone in the lineup could have a big day.
"I mean it's phenomenal," Callahan said. "Every guy on this team can produce from the lineup 1-9, everybody gets their pitch, everybody has great at-bats, and whenever I'm in the dugout, whenever I'm in the field, there's no doubt in my mind that everybody's going to play to their best."
Blue Valley Northwest travels to Bishop Miege to take on the Stags Tuesday April 31 at 4:45 p.m.
Sixth inning rally sparks Huskies 6-1 win over the Chieftains
Big third quarter propels No. 2 Huskies over No. 7 Eagles, 75-70
BVNW withstands a late comeback, advances to the 6A state championships with 71-64 win over Olathe West
Davis hits game winner, No. 4 Huskies top No. 18 Tigers on senior night, 76-75
Huskies overcome slow start, defeat Jaguars, 57-49
Shulman picks up first EKL win against Blue Valley West, 37-33
No.1 BVNW sweeps past BVSW, 70-48, in Sweetheart game
No.5 Huskies never look back from early lead, defeat No.17 Mustangs, 72-56.


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You are here: Home › history › Waterloo and the European Balance of Power
Waterloo and the European Balance of Power
history, war/crime	 18. June 2019 0 Harald Sack
Battle of Waterloo by William Sadler
On June 18, 1815, a battle was fought near Waterloo in present-day Belgium, which should be Napoleon's last. An Imperial French army under the command of Emperor Napoleon was defeated by the armies of the Seventh Coalition, comprising an Anglo-Allied army under the command of the Duke of Wellington combined with a Prussian army under the command of Gebhard von Blücher. The defeat at Waterloo ended Napoleon's rule as Emperor of the French, and made way for a shift in the European balance of power.
The Most Prominent Location in Belgium
Maybe Waterloo is the most prominent location in Belgium, at least for non-Europeans. Nowadays, of course every European knows Brussel as the capital of Belgium, because it is also the seat of the EU parliament. But, back in the 19th century, an insignificant spot on the landscape thirteen kilometres south of Brussels called Waterloo should become known to almost everybody, because one of the most important battles ever fought in Europe took place. The strategic location of Waterloo on a paved road towards Brussels explains why the battle took place just south of Waterloo. It was important for the allies to stop Napoleon from reaching Brussels, and Waterloo was the last settlement to cross before negotiating the forest and getting to Brussels.
The Congress of Vienna and Napoleon's Escape from Exile
But, lets get back a little bit further to understand the Prelude that lead to this most significant battle. The European powers were meeting in Vienna to re-establish the territorial balance in Europe when news came of Napoleon's escape from his exile in Elba on 1st March 1815 and his re-entry into Paris on 20th March. The powers immediately renewed their declaration of war on Napoleon and the 7th Coalition between Britain, Austria, Prussia and Russia was formed on 25th March and they began assembling their troops in readiness for war. Their intention was to attack along the French borders and march on Paris from different directions with enough strength to crush Napoleon and the French.
Wellington and Blücher
But, only the armies of the Duke of Wellington and the Prussians under Marshal Blucher were in place in Belgium, while the others arrived only after Napoleon had been defeated. 23,000 British troops together with 44,000 allied troops and 160 guns stood against 74,000 French troops and 250 guns. Seizing the moment, Napoleon led his troops north with the aim of defeating his enemies individually before they had the chance to unite. Together they would be too much for his forces. While his efforts were initially successful, in a clash at Ligny on June 16, Napoleon routed the Prussians at a high cost. The Prussian centre was destroyed and Blucher almost killed, they were forced to withdraw to Wavre. The Prussians had lost about 16,000, and another 8,000 deserted during the night. Napoleon then turned his attention to the British who made a stand at the small town of Waterloo.
At the Small Town of Waterloo
On the morning of June 18, the two armies faced off against each other. However the incessant rains of the previous days had soaked the ground to a muddy morass hampering all movements of men, horses and artillery. This postponed the battle until midday when Napoleon opened up with an artillery barrage. The fighting seesawed back and forth throughout the day with high casualties on both sides. Towards evening Wellington's exhausted troops seemed on the verge of breaking, but the timely arrival of the Prussians reinvigorated their efforts and doomed Napoleon. According to Wellington, the battle was "the nearest-run thing you ever saw in your life."
Map of the Waterloo campaign
Why Napoleon Lost
Napoleon himself had lost his accustomed firm and cold-blooded attitude on this day and by the last desperate attack had to take military responsibility for the destruction of his army and thus the loss of his hundred day rule. From a historical point of view, three mistakes made by Napoleon before the battle are usually mentioned:
On the morning of 17 June Napoleon could have crushed Wellington with his superiority in infantry and above all artillery, while the Prussians were still retreating to Ligny. Instead, he visited the wounded that morning. He also failed to give Ney the immediate order to attack.
His second mistake was to underestimate Wellington's tactical skill and British cold-bloodedness.
The third mistake was his overconfidence. According to information from his brother Jérôme, who had learned of the Prussian plans from a waiter at the Roi d'Espagne inn, he should have ordered Grouchy to Wavre immediately. In this case, only Corps v. Bülow would have succeeded in appearing on the battlefield. Napoleon was of the opinion that after the Battle of Ligny the Prussians would not succeed in quickly recovering from the battle and attacking again.
Napoleon abdicated, surrendering to the British, and was exiled to Saint Helena, where he died in 1821. The battlefield is in present-day Belgium, about 12 km south of Brussels, and about 2 km from the town of Waterloo. The site of the battlefield is today dominated by a large mound of earth, the Lion's Hillock. As this mound used earth from the battlefield itself, the original topography has not been preserved.
At yovisto, you can learn more about Napoleon, the Napoleonic Wars including the Battle of Waterloo in the lecture of Prof. John Merriman from Yale talen from his course on European Civilization: 1648-1945.
References and Further Reading:
[1] The Battle of Waterloo at BBC
[2] Waterloo at British Battles
[3] Waterloo 200 – 1815-2015
[4] The Battle of Waterloo at Google Maps
[5] The Battle of Waterloo at EyewhitnessHistory
[6] Works and documents about the Waterloo Campaign at Wikisource
[7] Maps with Battles of the Napoleonic Wars, via DBpedia and Wikidata
Belgium, Duke of Wellington, Europe, Gebhard von Blücher, Napoleon Bonaparte, Waterloo
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The U.S. military has some of the most advanced killing equipment in the world that allows it to invade almost wherever it likes at will.
We produce so much military equipment that inventories of military robots, M-16 assault rifles, helicopters, armored vehicles, and grenade launchers eventually start to pile up and it turns out a lot of these weapons are going straight to American police forces to be used against US citizens.
1033 was passed by Congress in 1997 to help law-enforcement fight terrorism and drugs, but despite a 40-year low in violent crime, police are snapping up hardware like never before. While this year's staggering take topped the charts, next year's orders are up 400 percent over the same period.
This upswing coincides with an increasingly military-like style of law enforcement most recently seen in the Occupy Wall Street crackdowns.
This comes on top of grants from the Department of Homeland Security that enable police departments to buy vehicles such as "BearCats" — 16,000-pound bulletproof trucks equipped with battering rams, gun ports, tear-gas dispensers and radiation detectors. To date, more than 500 of these tank-like vehicles have been sold by Lenco, its Massachusetts-based manufacturer, according to a report in the Orlando Sentinel.
"It's kind of had a corrupting influence on the culture of policing in America," Lynch says. "The dynamic is that you have some officer go to the chief and say, people in the next county have [military hardware], if we don't take it some other city will. Then they acquire the equipment, they create a paramilitary unit, and everything seems fine.
In today's Mayberry, Andy Griffith and Barney Fife could be using grenade launchers and a tank to keep the peace. A rapidly expanding Pentagon program that distributes used military equipment to local police departments — many of them small-town forces — puts battlefield-grade weaponry in the hands of cops at an unprecedented rate.
Through its little-known "1033 program," the Department of Defense gave away nearly $500 million worth of leftover military gear to law enforcement in fiscal year 2011 — a new record for the program and a dramatic rise over past years' totals, including the $212 million in equipment distributed in 2010.
The surplus equipment includes grenade launchers, helicopters, military robots, M-16 assault rifles and armored vehicles.
And the program's recent expansion shows no sign of slackening: Orders in fiscal year 2012 are up 400 percent over the same period in 2011, according to data provided to The Daily by the Pentagon's Defense Logistics Agency.
Passed by Congress in 1997, the 1033 program was created to provide law-enforcement agencies with tools to fight drugs and terrorism. Since then, more than 17,000 agencies have taken in $2.6 billion worth of equipment for nearly free, paying only the cost of delivery.
Experts say the recent surge is simply the continuation of a decades-long trend: the increasing use of military techniques and equipment by local police departments, tactics seen most recently in the crackdowns on Occupy Wall Street protesters across the country. But critics of the program say that the recent expansion of 1033 distributions should be setting off alarm bells.
"The trend toward militarization was well under way before 9/11, but it's the federal policy of making surplus military equipment available almost for free that has poured fuel on this fire," Tim Lynch, director of the libertarian Cato Institute's project on criminal justice, told The Daily.
This comes on top of grants from the Department of Homeland Security that enable police departments to buy vehicles such as "BearCats" — 16,000-pound bulletproof trucks equipped with battering rams, gun ports, tear-gas dispensers and radiation detectors. To date, more than 500 of these tanklike vehicles have been sold by Lenco, its Massacusetts-based manufacturer, according to a report in the Orlando Sentinel.
When asked why they need equipment that might seem better suited to Fallujah than Florida, many police point to safety concerns, even as violent crime nationwide has fallen to 40-year lows.
Sheriff Bill Hutton's department in Washington County, Minn., purchased a $237,000 BearCat four weeks ago using a federal grant. Hutton said it has already come in handy during a kidnapping.
His department also received grants to buy a 3-foot-tall, $70,000 robot and a $75,000 riverboat, he said.
Over the last several years, he said, his department had collected equipment worth $2 million to $3 million. The take included M-16s, helmet-mounted infrared goggles, four remote-controlled inspection robots, a mobile command unit worth $270,000 and a "Puma" armored tactical vehicle.
While the equipment is free, the cost of maintenance, insurance and upkeep falls on law enforcement. In 2010, city leaders in Tupelo, Miss., debated whether to return the police department's helicopter after spending nearly $274,000 maintaining it for five years. The helicopter flew an average of 10 missions per year.
Administrators of the 1033 program rely on state-level coordinators to assess whether a department qualifies for the equipment they request.
"They're the ones who verify for us that the 'West-wherever Police Department' is, in fact, a police department, and yes, in fact, it has five sworn officers," said Kenneth Macnevins of the Defense Logistics Agency, which oversees the 1033 program.
Some skeptics say acquiring military hardware can lead to a desire to use it, even when it's not needed.
"It's kind of had a corrupting influence on the culture of policing in America," the Cato Institute's Lynch told The Daily. "The dynamic is that you have some officer go to the chief and say, people in next county have [military equipment], if we don't take it some other city will. Then they acquire the equipment, they create a paramilitary unit, and everything seems fine.
He and other critics of the policy highlight incidents in which heavily-armed SWAT teams injured or killed innocent people.
Earlier this year, a grandfather of 12 who was not suspected of any wrongdoing was killed in Framingham, Mass., when a SWAT team member accidentally shot him. In 2008, police raided the home of a mayor of a small Maryland town, broke down his door and killed his two black Labrador retrievers. They interrogated him and his mother-in-law for hours regarding a drug ring to which they had no connection.
As the number of SWAT raids has ballooned from a few thousand per year in the 1980s to 50,000 per year in the 2000s, the risks of such tragedies occurring rises.
For Joseph McNamara, former chief of police in Kansas City, Mo., and San Jose, Calif., the militarization is not only risky, but also counterproductive.
The police force of Erie, Pa., has worked to avoid that perception by taking its BearCat out into the community. SWAT team commander Lt. Les Fetterman told The Daily that his department took the armored vehicle to a city picnic, where "a couple hundred inner-city kids" played in and around it.
For some critics, though, the concern is not alienating neighbors, but the change in attitude of police themselves.
Arthur Rizer, a Virginia lawyer who has served as both a military and civilian police officer, stressed that their outlooks and missions are fundamentally different.
"If we're training cops as soldiers, giving them equipment like soldiers, dressing them up as soldiers, when are they going to pick up the mentality of soldiers?" he asked.
You can go apply for free weapons for your community, your church, your preschool, synagogue, or knitting club. We should fill out the proper paper work then wait for the weapons to arrive in OB. Does anyone have a P.O. box?
what are you like 12 years old?
At war with the citizens in this country!!!!!
It is worse than you think. Thousands of American police have gone to Israel to be trained by Israeli occupation forces, much is sponsored by ADL. Read the linked article by Max Blumenthal: How Israeli Occupation forces, Bahraini Monarchy Guards Trained U.S. Police for Coordinated Crackdown on "Occupy" Protests.


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"Beast On The Moon" at International City Theatre in August
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Two Productions of "Beast On The Moon" in U.S.
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"Front Room" Reading at UW Oshkosh
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"Beast On The Moon" in London Receives Mention in London Evening Standard's "Must
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More Reviews In for "Beast On The Moon" in London
The results appear to be in for the production of Beast on the Moon at the Finborough Theatre in London, and they're overwhelmingly posi
An Interview With Richard - Close-Up Culture
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"Beast On The Moon" Receives 4-Star Review from Jewish Renaissance
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"Beast On The Moon" Actor An Established Voice in Theatre
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[PODCAST] Richard Appears on Jewish Renaissance Podcast Hosted by Judi Herman
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"Beast On The Moon" Completes Italy Tour
The Italian production of Beast on the Moon, as performed at the Centro Teatrale Bresciano, received a short-term touring production of the


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Google's mapping solution for cars is getting an HD upgrade at CES 2023. Google's HD map, unlike Google Maps, is not a consumer-facing application. Instead, it is an extra layer of data sent through Google Automotive Services to a car's L2+ or L3 assisted driving systems.
The extra information sits on top of the data from Google Maps and gives details like exact lane markers and the location of objects (like road signs) to help self-driving cars figure out where they are on the road. The driver won't be able to see the HD map or data directly or get to them. At this point, whether the driver will even know if the vehicle is using HD mapping is still being determined. However, the vehicle's ability to help the driver will likely improve when HD mapping is used.
A Google representative said that the HD mapping would first focus on high-traffic roads like freeways, but the representative still needs to say which cities or freeways. They said that Google is working with car companies to determine where the HD map will be most helpful.
Automakers that use Google Automotive Services can now get Google's HD map. Volvo and Polestar said that the Volvo EX90 and the Polestar 3 would soon be able to use the HD map from Google.
electric SUV
Advanced driver-assistance system
By evstories on Thu, 01/05/2023 - 20:00
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to increase parental/guardian awareness of and strategies for talking to their children about digital citizenship and media use, including social media.
to specifically address digital citizenship and social media use, questions and concerns through a facilitated workshop on the topic.
This project seeks to 'level up' parents/guardians' skills in relation to the technologies students are using and will be using in their school lives.
This project will support the acquisition of technological skills, and 21st century competencies in a group of parents/guardians that may well lack in those areas. Further, it will engage parents in some of the same school-based learning methods related to technologies that their children have experienced and will experience in Peel schools. It is an especially important project because it addresses a direct need in the community: how to assist parents/guardians in supporting student learning with technology.
Parents/guardians will benefit from the acquisition of these skills and a deeper understanding of digital citizenship and media literacy. Students will benefit from collaborating with their parents in the use of digital technology production and engaging in critical conversations about their use of media and understandings of said literacy.
There are three potential benefits from participating in this project: 1) learning new skills and competencies related to computer-based technologies, especially those that are currently used in Peel schools; 2) participating in programming that is similar to what happens in schools, but is focused on parental learning and engagement; and 3) learning about digital citizenship and responsibilities of parents/guardians and students on social media. A further outcome is the creation of learning community for parents that may well continue beyond the reach of this program.


3 Strategies to Go From Great to Extraordinary | Take Responsibility. Take Back Control of Your Life. Take Action to Accomplish Your Goals.
Have you become complacent with your success and your achievements?
What are you doing to continuously improve yourself, your life, and the life of others?
Learn how to push yourself past being great to be extraordinary in every aspect of your life!
To be great means you are considerably above the normal or average. To be extraordinary is to be exceptional, remarkable, phenomenal. Oftentimes, we stop at being great and are content that we reached a goal or milestone, or that we received an award, or that someone has acknowledged our contribution.
… Michael Jordan retired after winning one championship?
…Serena Williams stopped after winning one grand slam?
…Beyoncé was content with just one Grammy award?
…Bill Gates was content with just being a computer programmer?
I can go on and on with examples of people who didn't settle for great but pushed themselves to be extraordinary in their field.
I want to challenge you to raise your expectations of yourself and your contribution to the world by giving you three strategies to help you move from great to extraordinary.
Being gifted doesn't mean that you don't have to put in work to develop your talent and continuously improve and hone your special gifts.
Athletes and musicians put in the work through practice! Some athletes practice 6-8 hours a day. They don't rely solely on their current level of skill, and they push themselves to the limit. Even with their natural gifts and talents, they still put in work every single day.
For just a quick minute, compare yourself to Michael Jordan, Serena Williams, or Beyoncé. What do you currently do every day to improve your skills, expand your knowledge and increase your talent like they do?
Now ask yourself, what else can you do to worker harder?
When you practice self-analysis, you are open to finding new ways to improve. This is not the same as self-criticism. When you practice self-criticism, you are putting yourself down. Don't get self-analysis confused with self-criticism.
Let's be real, it's easy to become addicted to people telling you that you did a good job, or your presentation was amazing; but do you seek out ways to take your skill and accomplishments to the next level?
Think about Bill Gates and how he continuously improves Microsoft. Every week there seems to be a new update, and every year, or so, a new version is released.
Personal development is how you develop yourself and your skill set and enhance your life.
It's a life-long process that can happen in many forms, like daily self-reflection and meditation, going back to school to gain new knowledge, working with a coach or mentor to improve your skills, joining a supportive community, or attending a conference, workshop or seminar.
It is whatever you need to move to your next level of success and accomplishment. Invest in yourself! Invest in personal development.
It's easy to become complacent with your current level of success and accomplishments, but you still have so much more to offer. You have an obligation to yourself and the world to give it all you got—to be creative and come up new ideas and ways to improve current ideas and products.
The world needs you to push past being great to being extraordinary in your field or industry. If you've been holding back, it's time to make a shift today.
And remember, you should never stop growing, learning, evolving, and honing and improving your skills. Natural gifts and talent alone do not make you successful. While they may help you get to a level of success, they will not keep you there very long. You have to keep putting in the necessary work and development to continue to see results.
I hope that you got something from this that you can use to make some positive changes in your life. Make the decision today to implement what you've learned and be extraordinary!
If you enjoyed reading this and learned something that could be beneficial, share it with others who have become complacent with their current level of success but know that they have so much more to offer!
Also, leave your likes and comments below. Let me know how you put these strategies to use in your life.


It can be tough to find a floor solution that stands the test of time whole being chemical, spills and stain resistant. Almost every type of flooring has some disadvantage or the other. And that's one of the reasons as to why having stable shoes for walking on concrete is very important. An excellent choice for a variety of needs, epoxy floors seem to have fewer drawbacks and more benefits. However, examining both pros and cons of this material is a good idea if you're considering installing it at home or work.
Compared to an average garage floor, epoxy floors are bright and professional. Their appearance alone makes them enticing to use. The smooth and even surface is also very easy to sweep and maintain. Since not much sticks to this type of flooring, cleaning up a mess a very easy.
Compared to other types of flooring, the per square foot cost of epoxy floors are tough to beat. Since it can be installed directly over concrete and other flooring types, the installation costs are quite a bit lower than the others. Pricing remains one of the biggest and the most immediate advantages you'll find with epoxy flooring.
Distinctly valued for their durability, epoxy floors have a longer lifespan than many other floor types. Concrete is the only material that beats it, but it needs to be properly sealed and maintained. Besides, an epoxy floor coating required concrete beneath it anyway. Epoxy floor coating makes renders concrete exceptionally durable. They also offer benefits of anti-fatigue and can be easily rolled-out on the cement without mortar or glue.
Epoxy is a great choice to decorate your floors as well. It's available in a variety of colors that add a flawless, smooth, elegant shine elegant shine. The flooring can also be arranged into traditional or personalized patterns and designs. The number of choices makes it an economical way to upgrade plain concrete and improve the ambience of a home or office.
One of the lesser-known advantages of using epoxy on a garage floor is it enhances visibility inside the garage by reflecting light off the floor.
One of the major disadvantages of using epoxy on your floors is that it's a temporary flooring solution. Though durable and resistant, you will have to replace it eventually. Unlike some other flooring solutions, everyday wear and tear takes it toll on epoxy floors. To keep things looking good, you'll have to put down a new coat of epoxy. This is inevitable especially if heavy things are dropped on the surface of the floor.
Cracks can develop and chipping is a very common issue. Thought chips can start out as a small annoyance, eventually they can lead to a large area of the coat peeling off of the floor. Wheeled carts and toolbox wheels also get caught catch as they are rolled over the damaged spot. The floor has to be repaired when this happens.
Epoxy floors are relatively skid resistant. This con is not universal. It's specific only to oil-covered epoxy since that can be very slippery. But, they can also become very slippery when wet, which creates a dangerous situation. They are not a good choice in areas that may be prone to spills or water on the floor. This is another drawback. However, you can mitigate this risk, at least to some degree, if you're able to texturize your floor.
Getting the existing floors ready for applying epoxy is tedious. A significant amount of effort goes into it to. The concrete floor has to be clean and free of any grease, oil, or solvents before the epoxy coating is applied. Cracks will need to be filled as well. Cleaning concrete floors requires multiple attempts. All this preparation work required is a drawback.
The good news is that with the advancements in the manufacture and application methods, homeowners will find it relatively easy to apply using hand tools in a minimum amount of time.
Apart from the extensive preparation that goes into getting the concrete ready, applying the epoxy coating is a time consuming process. It also takes several days to dry properly. Additionally, the first coat of epoxy must dry completely before adding the next coat.
Epoxy flooring needs to be installed exactly according to directions. If not done properly, the flooring will not last as long as it should. The coating also gets scratched pretty easily. It's very hard to clean paint overspray off of it. The coating should be applied only when during that time of the year when the humidity levels are low. This is because moisture can affect the durability of these floors.
The concrete floor must be dried, prepared and cleaned thoroughly before applying epoxy to avoid adherence issues. Epoxy does not adhere well in a moist environment such as a basement. The epoxy paint peels off the floors if applied in a damp environment on a moist floor.
Since the material doesn't breathe once it cures, any moisture trapped below the surface can be a problem as it evaporates. It may lead to the eventual need for repair or refinishing as bubbling or buckling in the flooring material may occur in some cases.
Homeowners have to buy special cleaning acids and other chemicals to ensure that the epoxy sticks. It's also necessary to buy and use special protective clothing, protective eyewear and breathing devices when using these chemicals. Not only does this increase the amount of time and effort necessary, but in some instance, it can also increase costs.
Once the epoxy is applied, changing colors or designs can be a labor-intensive and costly endeavor. In those situations where the floor has to be repaired, removing the coating is quite extensive and difficult.
There are several pros and cons to using epoxy floors. It's highly recommended that you consult a professional contractor to conduct an analysis of your floor before making any decision. A professional can also evaluate the moisture tolerance of the floor to minimize the chances of delamination.


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Arizona Medical Center to Pay $5.85 Million to Settle Falsified Records Claims
Oct 10, 2016 | Written by Ben Bucy
Yavapai Regional Medical Center (Yavapai), an Arizona health system, has agreed to pay the United States $5.85 million to resolve claims that it violated the False Claims Act by misreporting data about the hours worked by its employees on its annual cost reports, which in turn improperly inflated the amount of money it received from the Medicare program.
The settlement, announced October 4, 2016, resolves a lawsuit filed in April 2016 under the qui tam, or whistleblower, provisions of the False Claims Act. The qui tam provisions allow private citizens to serve as whistleblowers and bring civil actions on behalf of the United States and share in any recovery that is made. The whistleblower in this case will receive $1.17 million as his share of the $5.85 million settlement.
Specifically, the case alleged that between 2006 and 2009, Yavapai misreported the hours worked by its employees, which inflated the wage index for the Prescott, Arizona area. This artificially inflated wage index was then used by the Medicare program when it calculated the payments it made to Yavapai. The United States alleged that as a result of Yavapai's false claims, Medicare overpaid $19.1 million to Yavapai Regional Medical Center during this time period.
False Claims ActGovernment Fraud & Abusehealthcare fraudMedicare Fraud