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A couple of years ago when I started writing for The Black Page, I had an idea for a feature article based around the Nashville music scene and its drummers. They are some of the world's best and have a wealth of knowledge to share. I had a few players in mind but nothing concrete. The first player that fell into the mix was David Northrup from Travis Tritt's band. David was in town for a show and a clinic, and we ended up heading out for a bite and a long drummer chat. The next player to come along was Dave McAfee from Toby Keith's band. I met Dave when we were out on tour with Toby Keith, and we had a lot of time to exchange drum chat. The next player is no stranger to The Black Page, as he has graced the cover of our fair magazine: Rich Redmond from Jason Aldean's band. The fourth player was on a recommendation from the first three and is the talented Pat McDonald from The Charlie Daniels Band. The final player is none other than Ben Sesar who plays with multi award-winning artist Brad Paisley.
These players make up a fantastic cross-section of drumming in general. They all have great chops, fantastic technique and are very educated in the music industry. With all of these drumming skills in tact it is their skills as musicians that impresses me most. Playing the song, supporting the lyric, and being dynamically expressive are just a few things that will keep these five great players employed all of the time. I hope you enjoy part one of this educational read from five of the busiest and best players in the industry right now. See you next month!
To start off with, could you give us a glimpse into your formative years of playing? Say from the ages of 15 to 20?
Rich Redmond: I started playing drums at age 8. My early lessons taught me grip, reading, rudiments and basic drum set coordination. I am totally a product of the great music education system in Texas. Beginning in the fifth grade I participated in symphonic band, orchestra, marching band and jazz ensemble every year until graduation. I studied classical percussion and drum set and took it very seriously. I played in a million fun bands in El Paso, Texas, and listened to tons of music. Some of my faves were The Police, John Mellencamp and Van Halen. Those were the big influences: Stewart, Alex and Kenny. I ended up attending Texas Tech University and later the University of North Texas. By the time I was 25 I had two degrees and had played tons of musical styles. I tried to pattern myself after players like Gregg Bissonette, who could play tons of styles with conviction and also had an academic degree to fall back on.
Dave McAfee: I was in the high school marching band and the college marching band at Ohio U. Those years of experience gave me confidence. In high school, driving a 96 piece band as the only bass drummer was a great experience in time, meter, and responsibility. The stars had always been the snare line, but the director talked me into being the bass drummer, who was ultimately the leader of the band. I was president of the band and section leader, and the pressure to run the section and know all the parts was a great teaching tool, and years later, ultimately helped prepare me for the responsibilities of driving a huge show like Toby's.
Ben Sesar: Hmmm. Those were basically high school and early college years. I had already been playing for 6 years by the time I was 15. The goal in those days (as it still is today) was to play, play, play. I sought out and surrounded myself with people that were like-minded and wanted to play as often as I did. College was no exception—the difference there was the additional focus on personal practice. I started playing gigs out on the town within my first semester.
Dave Northrup: I began playing in a school program at the age of 12, played all through high school, involved in concert band, jazz band, and select choirs. I competed in Area All State and All State Competitions. At 15 I began playing in rock cover bands outside of school. Began studying privately around 17, however I didn't really get serious until my early twenties.
Pat McDonald: I started out at age 5 or 6 with a toy kit with paper heads. I promptly destroyed them and lost interest. They ended up in the attic for a few years. One day, for no apparent reason, I dug them back out and got completely bitten by the bug! I couldn't play them much because they were in pieces, so I began playing to my mom's 70s soft rock/disco records (The Eagles, The Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, John Denver, Bread, Barry Manilow, etc.) on pillows on the couch, set up like toms all around me. I think this was a huge positive step because it developed my ears as well as my hands. I learned to really listen and hear what the drums were doing in the music and, unbeknownst to me at the time, why. I tried to imagine the pillows as my kit and copied what I was hearing. I hassled my mom to get me real drums, and she finally relented, buying me another toy kit but a little better one with real heads and hoops and small-sized wood shells. That kit didn't have a hi hat. It had one tiny bass drum, one mounted tom, a snare on a stand and one cheap cymbal.
As I got more into it, I knew I needed better drums, so by the time I was 12 or so she bought me my first real kit. It was one of those no-name Taiwanese junk kits, but it had a working hi hat and real (albeit cheap) cymbals. I played them all through middle school and kept playing along to records, developing my ears and hands. By this point I had begun buying my own records and left her easy listening music for more heavy rock music. I got really into Kiss and learned to copy all of Peter Criss' stuff. By the time I got to high school I got into the music programs (jazz band, marching band, concert band), met more people who were into music and they started turning me onto other music. I got turned onto guys like Steve Smith with Journey, Terry Bozzio, Mark Craney, Vinnie Colaiuta with Frank Zappa, James Bradley Jr. with Chuck Mangione and, most importantly, Neil Peart. I became a complete Rush fanatic and spent hours learning Neil's drum parts and licks.
High school became nothing more than a place to study just enough to get by in regular classes and spend every spare moment in the band room. At that point, I had become a fairly accomplished player for my age, and my parents realized I was really into this and they got me a real kit with real cymbals— a Ludwig Chrome-O-Wood kit with a full set of Zildjians. I joined a local band and started gigging in clubs during my senior year. When I graduated, the band started traveling the southeastern U.S., playing rock covers in clubs all over Florida, Georgia and Alabama.
I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 1983 and had a recurrence in 1985 and quit the band to have surgery and chemotherapy. During my recuperation, I decided to get really serious and go to music college. I applied to Berklee but got turned down, so I followed all my high school drummer buddies to Georgia Southern College, played in the jazz band, marching band, concert band and took nothing but music theory courses to get a basic knowledge of music—and then re-applied to Berklee. I got accepted this time and went to Boston in the summer of '87. I took a full load of classes, lessons, private lessons with Gary Chaffee and practiced non-stop for about eighteen months. On Chaffee's recommendation, I left Berklee and started gigging full time. I'm still doing it today!
What factors played into you choosing Nashville as a base for your music career over places like LA or New York?
Ben Sesar: I was in a really good band at the time I graduated college, and we were going to move to New York. Two of the members bailed at the last moment, leaving only the lead singer and myself. We wanted to keep the band together but had nowhere to go. We knew some people in Nashville who graduated the prior year and took an interest in re-forming the band with us. So, we threw all of our stuff in a car and went. Nashville was a default destination, but I liked the idea of it from the start. I knew it was a music town like LA or NYC, but with much less density. My speculation was that it would be easier to "stick out" here.
Dave Northrup: I always knew someday I wanted to have a family, even from an early age. Although, at the time, the music being made and players in New York and LA influenced me a great deal, I just felt Nashville seemed to be the logical choice economically. Between 1992 through 1995, while touring, I had an opportunity to meet several musicians from Nashville who were able to give me some insight on the scene. After a brief visit in early '95 I knew it was where I was supposed to be. I just felt right in my spirit.
Pat McDonald: I ended up doing all kinds of gigs—rock, funk, top 40, society dance jazz gigs, weddings, big band, you name it. Those experiences led me to Sarasota, FL, to take a house gig in a jazz club. I did that for a couple of years then joined with a local rock guy who did clubs and played constantly. I became a first call guy in town for gigs and session work and had a fulltime roster of students. I got called to play on a Christian-pop record project with two brothers who lived in Sarasota and owned a multi-million dollar fiber optic business. I did their record and did some live shows with them. They decided to move their business to Nashville and asked me to come along. I had reached the top level of what success I could have in Sarasota and decided to give it a try and see how I could fare in a big pond instead of a small one. I moved up to Nashville in April '97. I had considered all of the three music centers before, but the opportunity to move to Nashville and live rent-free until I got on my feet pretty much sealed the deal for me!
Dave McAfee: In school, most of the drumset guys at Ohio U were studying jazz or fusion. Our Grad Assistant was from Berkeley, and our professor was a jazz phenom named Guy Remonko. However, Mr. Remonko was very into time, no matter the genre. I worked on time relentlessly during my time at school. I had moved around a lot growing up, but my dad had always listened to country music. He always watched the Nashville-based music shows. Honestly, I always liked the vocals in country. To this day, I try to play to the vocal—dynamically, musically, and emotionally. I love the country genre when it comes to drumming for the lyric and the emotion of the song. Larrie Londin was my hero for playing like that.
Rich Redmond: I moved to Nashville in March of 1997. I was having my quarter life crisis in Dallas and knew I had to make my move to the coasts. I had decided on LA when a friend of mine told me that a gal named Trisha Yearwood was auditioning drummers in Nashville. I flew to the audition to make my mark. The players on the gig turned me on to an audition with Deanna Carter, which led to an audition with Barbara Mandrell. I had three major auditions in a two-week time period. It seemed like Nashville was the place to be. I gave my band two weeks' notice and drove to Nashville with one drum set and my little black cat, Cha Cha. The internet has made the world a smaller place in the last ten years, so I am now intensely focusing on making my mark in the NYC and LA markets, in addition to all of my responsibilities in Nashville.
In respect to the current gigs that you all have, how did these situations present themselves?
Rich Redmond: A lot of new drummers come to town and ask for advice about how to get connected. I tell them to take every gig that comes along, shake hands and get involved. Sometimes those "small" gigs turn into big ones. That's what happened for me. I met a young Jason Aldean in 2000. He had a publishing deal with Warner Chappell. I started doing tons of industry showcases and demos with him. In 2004, he got signed. When it came time to record the record, he and his producer thought about me first because we had established a relationship. You have to develop and nurture many relationships to be successful in this business. Taking gigs with a young and hungry Jason Aldean led to me playing on three successful records, six top ten singles, a #1 song, videos, tours, etc.
Dave McAfee: I had been playing out of Nashville with several acts for years. Musicians tend to know each other out on the tours. I had known several of Toby's guys. I had done an album with the bass player, who is the band leader. I had been in bands with the utility guy. It was those connections that got my name in the hat. I had jammed with Toby on several occasions in the past. When my name came up for discussion, Toby hired me without an audition, and I've been there ever since. Of course, you have to be able to do the job ultimately, but the value of networking speaks for itself in this instance.
Pat McDonald: When I got to Nashville, I dumped my truck and drove downtown to hit the clubs and start exploring—the very first night. I literally went out to a jam night before I had even slept one night at my new place! I started sitting in and passing out my number to anyone who asked for it. I was getting calls for local gigs in about two weeks. I ended up getting the gig with Tanya Tucker (my first real tour bus road gig) in about four months. I was stunned that it all started happening so fast. I did her gig for almost a year then got fired. I had learned from my buddies in town that getting fired by Tanya was a kind of a "rite of passage", so I didn't let it get me down. She has always been prone to waking up and just firing her whole band for no discernible reason. I became one of many victims.
I pressed on and kept working locally. I ended up on a house gig at a club outside of town for a year or so. The bass player on that gig engineered at a studio during the day and he called me one day to come over and bail out a session that was running behind because the guy who was hired to play drums wasn't cutting it. It ended up being a solo project by Taz DeGregorio who plays piano with The Charlie Daniels Band. Taz liked what I did, paid me and that was that— back to my house gig. About two weeks later, Jack Gavin left Charlie after fourteen years and Taz told Charlie about me. I got a call to come over and audition and ended up getting the gig. I just began my tenth year in the band.
Dave Northrup: My initial goal when I moved to Nashville was to be a studio guy, to stay in town and work my way up the ladder and establish myself as an "in town guy". Back then you had to make a decision as to what you wanted to do: tour or record. It was taboo to try and do both, so the first five years (1995 – 2000) that's what I did, hung in town and tried to break into the studio scene. I had some marginal success, each year getting a bit better up until 2000.
Frustrated with the struggle of trying to stay around town, I finally just decided to take some auditions for touring work. I was fortunate to get several auditions right away: Pam Tillis, Clay Davidson, both I didn't land. Then I got a call to audition for Trisha Yearwood, which I was real excited about. I had always been a fan of her music. Unfortunately I lost the gig to Charlie Morgan, Elton John's drummer. Soon after that I was recommended to a new artist named Rebecca Lynn Howard. The bass player from that gig was hired by Travis Tritt's management to put together auditions for a new band. He asked if I'd be interested in checking it out. Of course I said yes. A few days later Travis' management asked if I would hang after my audition and play for the other fiddle, bass and keyboard auditions which they would pay me for. I had a chance to play with Travis more than any of the other auditioning drummers.
Ben Sesar: Using my basic philosophy of "play, play, play, and don't worry about the rest" (i.e. don't worry about "making it", being recognized, getting paid, etc.) I eventually played in front of, and befriended, the people who would put me in touch with a local guy managing artists. I auditioned for a female artist of his at the time. I got the gig, but her career quickly fizzled. A year later he called me about a new guy he had: Brad Paisley. He told me they only had a few gigs, and not to expect much, but I didn't care because of my "play, play, play" attitude. Ironically, Brad had the same attitude, so we hit it off right away.
As I say to all of my students, it is one thing to get a gig, but the real work comes in keeping a gig. What do you each bring to an artist's music that helps you keep the gig?
Ben Sesar: You have to really screw up to lose your gig with Brad. He is a very loyal person who doesn't like to let anyone go. Having said that, the early days were a challenge for me. I was coming from a mainly rock background, and I was very new to country; Brad was a traditional country artist. I knew right away that there were many subtleties I was missing. I submerged myself into the genre, finding an appreciation, not only as a drummer but as a fan of music. This helped me to get inside Brad's mind by learning to appreciate the same things he did. He took notice and very much appreciated the extra effort, which helped reinforce his loyalty. This was ten years ago, and the process has not stopped since.
Dave Northrup: I think one of the most important elements in approaching an artist gig is respect for the music—their music. Taking the time to really learn and pay attention to detail. Play for the music and always be song-supportive. I'm a detail freak. I love nuances and subtleties, ghost notes that sometimes don't always translate as well in live performance situations but are so crucial for the groove, in my opinion. Having spent a fair amount of time in the studio I pay attention to those things. Also from a hang perspective I try to be flexible. You have to deal with many different types of personalities on the road. Being easy going and flexible with the ability to get along with others is crucial. You only spend an hour, an hour and half to two hours on stage. The other twentytwo hours you have to live in close quarters with others, so you have to be able to get along. Being positive and being able to do "the hang" is very important. You can be the baddest cat around, but with a crappy attitude and the inability to get along with others, no one will really care how good you are and won't want to work or be around you.
Pat McDonald: I think first and foremost is professionalism and a good attitude. This is a business and you must be a pro. Attitude and personality are huge here. You will not go far if you get a reputation for being dark, gloomy, negative or just a drag to be around. The guys who succeed here are the guys who people just enjoy spending time with. They're laid back and relaxed, flexible, patient, dependable, pleasant and able to roll with the punches. You have to be organized, have good gear, play well and be on time, ready to go when the red light comes on or the lights go up. That is what keeps you on a gig around here. If you get a reputation of being weird or difficult or burdened with piles of personal issues, people stop calling you. Drug or alcohol problems or personal issues that spill over onto the gig will kill you. There are tons of great players here who can do your gig in a heartbeat, so babysitting a guy with a pile of personal baggage is really low on most folks' list of priorities. I think in my case being a solid player with a varied musical background and having a sense of humor and ability to bring some levity into the room has helped me immensely.
Dave McAfee: You have to be tuned into many things, not just drumming. You almost have to be part psychologist and part coach in order to be an artist's "goto- guy" night after night. It helps to be a team player and a friend. Atmosphere is very important in a big tour. It just works better if it's fun. Of course, you have to be consistent, and the band and the artist have to be able to count on you. My goal was always to be one of the successful drummers in Nashville. I ultimately wanted to find an artist that felt like they would almost rather not play without me. Obviously, there are many great drummers in Nashville. I think realizing that fact makes you better. Then, of course, you still have to strive to do your artist's show as good as it can be done.
I don't believe that drummers at our level get to have good nights and bad nights. An arena country show nowadays is very drumprominent. You are definitely in the mix. You have to be dependable night after night. Toby and the band certainly never need me to be the star, but they do need me to run the show like Toby feels it every night. Toby's main directive has always been that the show be fun and the crowd be standing all night long. I am coming up on my ten-year anniversary, and it's still fun out there.
Rich Redmond: Great question! I have always been a journeyman drummer. I have played with one-hit-wonders, legends and everyone in between. Most of these acts like a drummer to play their part and stay out of the way. Occasionally, you get lucky and work for someone who really champions what you do and encourages you to be completely you. Jason encourages me and the entire band to be ourselves, and it's a big part of the act. Pat [McDonald] plays a drum solo every night! What a dream. I have recently started playing a drum solo every night in the show, and it is a thrill to get to play an 80s inspired arena drum solo in front of 5,000 people!
I always try to make myself indispensable to the act. When you aren't there they really miss you. I try to bring a consistently positive attitude and performance level to the stage every night and a producer's ears to recordings and rehearsals. It really helps that my best friends in the world make up Jason's band. We played together for years before joining forces with him, so there is a built in "family factor" to all we do. That would be my advice: Be a team player, take direction, offer direction, be a solid person and play at a high level always.
I know that Nashville has had a pretty cut-and-dried studio scene for years. You have all played on some great records. What is your opinion on the live versus studio scene in Nashville?
Rich Redmond: The line in the sand between session and road player is disappearing. I have been spoiled rotten since I cut a record called Right Now with my last band Rushlow in 2003. That opened the door to me playing on the recordings for every band I work with. I have such freedom with my current gigs that it would be very difficult to go back to a job where I had to mimic someone else. It would have to be great money and exposure to want to go back to that. Darryl Worley, Jamey Johnson and many other acts are using their touring bands to play on their records. It's a nice step forward for Nashville. However, there are many road bands I hear that could never cut it in the studio.
There is definitely a set of skills that have to be in place to do session work. Many Nashville cats are juggling studio and road work because of the economy and simply because they like to have that balance. Guys that I pattern myself after like Kenny Aronoff and Mark Schulman have always done both. I couldn't choose between them. I like doing both too much!
Dave McAfee: I do absolutely love both. I feel like I mostly owe my success to the live gigs I have been lucky enough to have. Studio world has been great to me this last couple of years, and I am certainly grateful! I am fortunate, though, that since 1986 every live gig has led to a more successful one. I admit I have been lucky, but they say luck is when ability meets opportunity, right? Making records is obviously a dream come true for any drummer, and I am a workaholic when it comes to playing and producing in the studio. It is awesome to create projects and then watch them come to life. It's great if they are successful and even get critical acclaim sometimes. I have to admit, though, that I love the pressure of the big tour live show. I love taking every variable into account every night.
Tuning, groove, performance, tricks and tracks… there is always something happening that needs your undivided attention. Turning in a great show in spite of the myriad of things that may go wrong is a terrific challenge. Making it look easy and fun is the goal. It is tremendously rewarding when a sold out arena crowd never sits down all night! Sure you are striving for perfection, but having the time of your life every night for years is a much better way to live the dream. I believe that in that one way studio and live are the same. The audience isn't having fun until you are!
Pat McDonald: Live work in Nashville is pretty wide-ranging. There are club gigs in honky tonks, singer/songwriter nights in clubs, new artist showcases, as well as the standard road gigs that everyone is competing for. There's a lot of work, and each of those kinds of gigs have circles of people who are involved in them. You become friends with people in those circles and hopefully get called to play with them on their gigs and projects. The circles of people all overlap, so you'll invariably work with the same guys in different situations. The session scene kind of overlaps all that as well. Lots of guys who do gigs will also dabble in production or own small studios, so it's really common to do a gig with a guy you haven't seen in a year then get a call to come to his studio and cut a project with some new artist that he's producing. There are tons of small independent studios that do projects like that.
The upper echelon of the studio world is a hard nut to crack, but most of the guys I know who have broken into it got their start by doing road gigs and demo sessions. The people you meet on every gig have their connections and will bring you into their folds where you'll meet other guys who know other people, and it just feeds on itself. It's a big web of folks who all work together. The session world is different than live, though, because there is a different set of concepts and musicality that is expected. It's the nature of the business of selling records. You learn really fast what a producer expects from you, and you do your best to deliver it. I've played on so many demos and records here now that I know immediately when I hear the rough mix exactly what I should do and what is expected from the drum part. It's really become a "paint by numbers" kind of thing in the majority of cases.
There are exceptions, of course, but generally you are there to provide the kind of track that they'll like, that will serve the song first and foremost and be able to get it down really quickly. Sadly, that usually ends up being the same kind of track you did on a similar song last week! I love being in the studio, but I get stir crazy after too much of it. I gotta get out and play and have fun! I know there are guys who stay in town and do sessions five days a week (although not as many as there used to be) but I just can't do that. I need variety. I'll do sessions when they come along, but I don't know if I could handle doing nothing but session work all the time and not balancing it with some live work.
Dave Northrup: As I briefly touched on earlier, back when I first moved to Nashville in 1995 the scene was divided—either you were a touring guy or a session guy. That has changed significantly in the past five years. More and more guys' session guys are now also doing some touring work, and some artists are actually using their touring band to record on their records.
Back in 1998 I had the incredible privilege of working with bass great Anthony Jackson for several weeks. One of the many conversations we had was about the studio scene in Nashville and how he thought the whole "road guy, studio guy" was absurd in his opinion. He shared with me the importance of being able to do both well, and the only way to continue to improve and grow as a player is to do both. Musicians all have different seasons in their career where they might do more of one then the other, but the whole Nashville stereotype to him was ridiculous. That opened my eyes and gave me a totally different outlook on what I was doing and what I should focus on. Both are important, and you should be able to do both well.
Ben Sesar: It's true. Over the years, a large disconnect has evolved between the live scene and studio scene. Very rarely do the two mix. I suppose it has to do with the different skill sets, as well as varying degrees of pressure required to perform in either setting. For example, I guess it's viewed (by the powers that be, who helped drive the system to where it is today) that any common thug could come in and rehearse for weeks and get the music right for a tour. In the studio, they don't rehearse. Your musical instincts must be honed sharply, as you are expected to play songs you've never heard before with speed, brilliance, and taste. In addition, the studio is really about mastering your emotions. The misconception is that those who are pigeon-holed as "live players" don't possess the evolved skills required for the studio. In reality, this simply isn't true. Lots of guys can do both. I mean, it's understandable from a record label point of view; they don't want to waste precious time and money on people who haven't proven they can handle the pressure of the studio. But like anything else, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The so-called studio guys here in town were also inexperienced at some point, but someone took a chance on them, and they developed the skills needed to survive and flourish in that world.
I know the list could be very long, but who are some of your biggest influences, drummer or otherwise?
Ben Sesar: This is in no particular order, and I'm leaving out a lot: Steve Gadd, Eddie Bayers, Buddy Rich, Kenny Aronoff, Ronnie Vannucci, Stewart Copeland, Joe Morello, and John Bonham. Honestly the list is so long. There are so many, and a lot of my main influences were people I knew growing up, musically or otherwise.
Dave Northrup: Wow, yes this could be a long one because I have so many personally and professionally. Drumming-wise I'd have to say Jeff Porcaro has been my biggest influence. Other drummers are Steve Gadd, Carlos Vega, David Garibaldi, Bernard Purdie, John Bonham, Rick Marotta, Jerry Marotta. Manu Katche, Stewart Copeland, Vinnie Colaiuta, Dave Weckl, Ed Greene, Russ Kunkle, Zigaboo Modeliste, Matt Chamberlin, Shawn Pelton, Clyde Stubblefield and Jabo Sparks, Steve Smith, Simon Phillips, Dennis Chambers, Steve Ferrone, Grady Tate, Peter Erskine, Will Kennedy, Troy Luccketta, Frank Briggs, and there are so many others.
The music of Pat Metheny, Weather Report, Jaco Pastorius, Miles Davis, The Yellowjackets, Marcus Miller, Stanley Clarke, Tower of Power, James Taylor, Steely Dan, James Brown, and Motown. Personally speaking, my mom and dad, my wife Sandy, and my relationship with God.
Pat McDonald: My biggest influence in life was my grandfather. My mother raised two kids as a single mom, and he stepped into the role of father when I was young. He taught me responsibility, fair play, how to handle trouble when it came along and the difference between right and wrong. He gave me basic life lessons that I still lean on today. As far as drummers go, as I mentioned before, Peter Criss was the first big influence when I was kid. He was followed by (in no particular order and overlapping in the timeline) Neil Peart, James Bradley Jr., Vinnie Colaiuta, Tommy Aldridge, Dave Weckl, Dennis Chambers, Jeff Procaro, Bernard Purdie, David Garibaldi, Steve Gadd, Steve Ferrone, Alex Van Halen, Buddy Rich, Joe Morello, Tony Williams, Jack DeJohnette, Paul Wertico, Jim Keltner, Lars Ulrich, Mike Wengren, Daniel Adair, Trilok Gurtu, Greg Morrow, Shannon Forrest, Eddie Bayers, Earl Palmer, Buddy Harman, Chad Wackerman, Rod Morgenstein, Terry Bozzio, John Bonham, Phil Rudd, Danny Gottlieb— heck, that's just the beginning of the list! I listen to everything and always manage to find something cool about whatever it is. Any good music is influential to me.
Dave McAfee: My cousin Joan was a great influence on me when I was a kid. She was and is an amazing drummer. She is now a teacher and a great one at that. My high school band director Jim Billingsley really made me believe I could do this. My dad was a hard worker and instilled a good work ethic in me. As far as legendary drumming heroes, Larrie Londin was amazing to me the one time I got to spend time with him. I absolutely wanted to be him when I was growing up. Jeff Porcaro, Dave Weckl, Ritchie Albright and J.R. Robinson are all influences of mine, among many others.
Rich Redmond: In no particular order: Gene Krupa, Rich, Max Roach, Baby Dodds, Ringo, Charlie Watts, Keith Moon, John Bonham, Jeff Porcaro, Kenny Aronoff, Carmine Appice, Eddie Bayers, Stewart Copeland, Alex Van Halen, Nigel Olson, Steve Gadd, Shawn Pelton and the list goes on and on. They all bring something unique and special to the table that I have soaked up from repeated study, transcription and listenings. I'm always checking out new stuff and the iPod has everything from ABBA to Zappa on it!


Check-out this new information for the Zyuohger team's 6th member and his personal mecha that was revealed from yesterday's 2nd quarter toy catalog listing post.
"In late April, the Zyuoh Cube Weapon Animal Armament Cube Mole will be released for 900 yen. Cube Mole becomes a drill attachment for the main robots. It is the last Cube Animal needed to form Wild Zyuoh King. The next Cube Weapon Cube Bear will be released in mid-May for the same price. It can become an axe attachment for the main robots.
Early June will see the release of the "Three Beast Awakening" DX Zyuoh the Light for 3500 yen. It is the transformation device for Zyuoh the World. Push the numbered buttons and rotate the cube. It has four modes: "Transformation", "Summon", "Combine", and "Cube Search". The Zyuoh the Light will come with a mini-figure of Zyuoh the World Rhinos Form.
Also releasing in early June is the "Reel Super-Rotation" DX Zyuoh the Gun Rod for 4200 yen. Zyuoh the World's weapon; it can transform between Gun mode and Rod mode. With its reel super-rotation action you can unleash a deadly gatling attack.
In late June, Zyuoh Cube 7 Cube Crocodile will be released for 2300 yen. The animal partner of Zyuoh the World, it can transform from Cube mode to Crocodile mode. Cube Crocodile can be combined with both Zyuoh King and Zyuoh Wild. In late June, Zyuoh Cube 8 Cube Wolf will be released for 2300 yen. Another animal partner of Zyuoh the Wolf, it can transform from Cube to Wolf. Can combine with Zyuoh King and Zyuoh Wild.
The last animal partner of Zyuoh the World, Zyuoh Cube 9 Cube Rhinos, will be released in early July. The biggest of the three, Cube Rhinos can transform from Cube to Rhino. All three can combine together to form Tousai Zyuoh. Cube Rhinos forms both shoulders, the left arm, the upper right arm, and the lower half. Cube Crocodile forms the rest of the right arm while Cube Wolf forms the head and the upper chest."
So that's all folks, we now have the confirmation. Just my personal opinion: Zyuoh The World should debut in the 17th or 21st episode to give more character development for the first 5 members just like those old sentai series where the 6th member always debuts on the 21st episode.
I'm liking everything except for the name of the actual ranger and all the "the" in his stuff. Zyuoh the World sounds more like a robo name than anything, at least to me, anyway, though I am really liking the actual name of his robo. Tousai Zyuoh sounds cool.
Also, no power ups for the non-reds?
Zyuoh Za Warudo! Dio Brando confirmed.


Get Books of Titans Reading Tips!
In this episode, Jason Staples and Erik Rostad discuss book 14 of the 2017 Books of Titans Reading list – The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker.
Suggested by Matt Mullenweg on page 203 of Tools of Titans.


Gloria was introduced to TJA through Grace Flight of America. Gloria was referred to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center (MDACC) in Ho uston, TX in July, 2010, after numerous hospitalizations due to complications with the treatment and diagnosis of antiphospholipid syndrome and lupus, along with several other ailments that threaten her life. Although insurance covers the cost of treatment, it doesn't provide for transportation and hotel accommodations, and without help, Gloria would not be able to receive the specialized treatment she needed to fight her cancer. TJA was very instrumental in providing transportation for Gloria and after several trips back and forth, the crew developed a special bond with this amazing lady who seemed to always beat the odds and never give up fighting. TJA was amazed at Gloria's strength of heart and awarded her the TJA Holiday Grant to help with medical and hotel bills. "My family and I are grateful to Grant and TJA who donate their time, planes and money to assist her and other medical patients. I consider them "angels" and thank God daily for their generosity," says Gloria.


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Next Lizz Winstead and friends rip on sexist songs at Do Re #MeToo
Bob Dylan selling out: His 8 best product endorsements
Tuesday, May 1, 2018 by Jay Boller in Music
Dylan in 1965, possibly plotting ways he'll sell Greek yogurt in the early 2010s. AP
Bob Dylan is getting into the whiskey game.
Last week, the 76-year-old music legend from Hibbing, Minnesota, debuted Heaven's Door, his brand-new "collection of super-premium craft American Whiskeys." Featuring Dylan's artwork on the packaging, the $50-$80 bottles will begin hitting liquor store shelves later this month.
"We both wanted to create a collection of American whiskeys that, in their own way, tell a story," Dylan says in a press release issued by Spirits Investment Partnership (SIP), his corporate partner. "I've been traveling for decades, and I've been able to try some of the best spirits that the world of whiskey has to offer. This is great whiskey. I am happy to be partnering with [SIP CEO] Marc [Bushala] and our entire team as we bring Heaven's Door to the public."
Dylan is just the latest celeb to help brand booze products. Among them: Top 40 star Nicki Minaj (MYX Fusions wine), movie star George Clooney (Casamigos tequila), and slime-ball rapper G-Eazy (Stillhouse whiskey). And Heaven's Door is just Bob's latest adventure in consumerism. Since the early '00s, the '60s counterculture icon has established a fat brand-shilling résumé -- from underwear to yogurt to supercomputers.
Should we get all Pete Seegar at Newport on his ass, decrying a once-pure artist who sold his soul to capitalist overlords? Naw, Dylan's the G.O.A.T., and his irrepressibly odd Dylan-ness permeates even the glossiest of car commercials. Instead, we're here to celebrate his top marketing moments. So grab your wallets, Baby Boomers: Bob's got something to sell!
As you'll notice in the video below, Dylan called his shot -- Babe Ruth-style -- way back in 1965. That's when a reporter asked which commercial interest he'd conceivably sell out for, to which Dylan smirked, "ladies' garments." Laughs all around. Fast-forward 39 years, and we see Dylan growling his 1997 song "Love Sick" as he makes bedroom eyes with a Victoria's Secret model in what appears to be an abandoned castle. Ya know, the classic underwear-buying sales pitch.
Remember when those dancing silhouette iPod ads became a legit pop-culture phenomenon? I'm tempted to say "weird times," but NFL fans have been giddily screaming "dilly dilly!" at one another for more than a year, so maybe we've always been dumb marks for advertisers. Anyway! To help boost sales of his 2006 album, Modern Times, Dylan strummed "Someday Baby" in a black-and-white spot for Apple's iPod and iTunes, complete with jumping/jiving silhouette cutaways.
In a nod to his 1965 masterpiece Highway 61 Revisited, we see Dylan cruising down a desert highway in an XM Radio-equipped Cadillac Escalade, clocking a cool 12-20 MPG the whole way. "We tried to be very respectful of the fact that he's a legend," Liz Vanzura, global marketing director for Cadillac, told the New York Times in 2007. "He's not talking about the fact that we've got the biggest navigation screens." In fact, he's hardly talking at all, as we only hear Bob tag the ad with "What's life without the occasional detour?"
For a guy who's as romantic about Americana as Dylan, it's strange he chose to slum it with Pepsi instead of Coca-Cola. That's exactly what he did in this 2009 Super Bowl ad, however, with a questionable assist from lead Black Eyed Pea Will.I.Am. Together, they soundtrack schlocky stock footage of Americans throughout the ages with "Forever Young," culminating in a ham-fisted metaphor -- Dylan old! Will.I.Am young! Everyone likes Pepsi! The remixed song failed to rewrite one unquestionable truth: Nobody prefers Pepsi.
What the hell is Google Instant? Turns out it's what normal human beings mostly refer to as predictive search. In 2010, this was a new feature for tech giant Google, one that was demonstrated to the public via Dylan's 1965 posterboard-flippin' clip for "Subterranean Homesick Blues."
We don't see Dylan in Chobani's 2014 Super Bowl ad, though we do hear his classic 1966 track "I Want You" as a grizzly bear ransacks a small-town general store in pursuit of yogurt. The townspeople are left horrified; the bear is left satisfied by the great-tasting, all natural treat; and Dylan's coffers are left richly lined. Bing, bang, boom: We've got a multimillion-dollar Super Bowl talker. The then-fledgling yogurt brand would go on to dominate supermarket 'gurt aisles, perhaps due, in part, to Dylan and a dairy-crazy beast.
Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers owned the 2014 Super Bowl halftime show, but Dylan was the advertising star. "Is there anything more American than America?" Dylan, all-time master lyrical wizard, asks at the beginning of his other ad that year, this one for Chrysler. What follows is a two-minute protectionist love letter to U.S. auto manufacturing, plus visuals featuring mid-century nostalgia clips and Dylan prowling a pool hall. Ironically, Italian automaker Fiat purchased Chrysler that same year.
"The times they are a' ... getting fucking weird," wrote City Pages in a 2015 blog post headlined "Bob Dylan comforts lovelorn supercomputer in new IBM ad." The writer quickly descends into paranoid ramblings about "the oncoming Robot Wars" and machines "thirsting for human blood to lubricate their circuitry." What a weirdo! Anyway, enjoy Dylan conversing with Watson, IBM's Jeopardy!-playing, wise-cracking, hyper-intelligent robot who'll one day enslave us all.
CityPages Music
Great new songs from Rosalía, Yuna, and other artists with just one name July 17 by Keith Harris
How'd a suburban Minnesotan wind up writing Florida Georgia Line songs in Nashville? July 17 by Nathan Roberts

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Employee Spotlight: Orion Dommisse
Hi! My name is Orion and I currently do Audio QA as well as camera, lip sync, and lights authoring on the Rock Band DLC team.
I've been at Harmonix for about a year and started out doing QA for Twitch Sings. Before Harmonix worked on the rhythm violence game Thumper as QA and worked as a waitress and bartender at a pizza restaurant.
For the past 15 years, I've also been a recording and touring musician. I've been writing music and have been playing cello and piano since I was a kid. While I've always loved video games, I never considered it as a career path for me until last year when Brian Gibson (art, audio, design for Thumper and former Harmonix dev) recommended I apply for a QA position at Harmonix.
Besides being a rhythm game and VR fanatic, I'm also obsessed with pinball. I live in Providence and often go to Free Play Bar and Arcade which has an absurd number of pinball machines and the chillest vibes of all time. It's right out of the "San Junipero" episode of Black Mirror.
Do you play in any bands? If so, tell us about your band!
I'm in a new cybernetic disco synthwave sci-fi noir music duo called ORION. We're a new artist on the label Italians Do It Better (Chromatics, Desire) and just released our first single "Time For Crime". Synthesist John-Paul Sullivan and I record songs together in Providence mixed by label-head Johnny Jewel. The video for "Time For Crime" is directed by the animation duo Robotina and is done in a fresh dot matrix style.
"Time For Crime" is also now available to play in Audica. Speaking of...
What's your favorite Harmonix game and why?
My favorite game at Harmonix right now is definitely the fantastic, sci-fi rhythm shooter Audica, which is now in early access. My favorite songs in the game right now are "I Feel Love (Afrojack Remix)" by Donna Summer and "Gold Dust" by DJ Fresh.
One of my favorite things I get to do at Harmonix is play Audica for our mixed reality video shoots to promote new songs and features. I feel very lucky to be at Harmonix at a time when there are so many exciting projects in development. I'm thrilled to have some of my music in the very fun and impressive Dance Central for the Oculus Quest and Rift!
Check out Orion playing "Time For Crime" in Audica:
What's your go-to Karaoke Jam?
This has to be "Lovefool" by The Cardigans. It's unbelievable how good that song is. Blondie's "Heart of Glass" is another standby.
I'd like to be able to travel through time in some sort of elaborate vehicle with lots of dials and wires.
Any social media handles or links to find you and your work you'd like to share w/ the Harmonix community?
You can follow ORION on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/orion_musicofficial/
Listen to "Time For Crime" on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/37D73iOPyqDvChxFk17FEb
Created on Fri 05 Jul 2019 by Nick Mudry in Employee Spotlight and Harmonix
Nick is on the Community Team at Harmonix, currently working on Rock Band, Super Beat Sports, DropMix and more!
@nick_mudry


Scottsboro, Alabama's Latin For Truth – with help from their friends at Pitfall Records – have released a free digital version of their latest EP, We Are Sick of Not Having The Courage To Be Absolute Nobodies. To download all three songs, as well as lyrics, artwork and a bio, go here.
Currently, the band is gearing up for The '95 Sound, a seven-inch of demos to be released on Pitfall Records in the Fall. The band continues to write for their upcoming full-length as well. The album, titled Youth Crew Blues, is tentatively scheduled for Spring 2010.


Here are two questions we at Gimme the Good Stuff hear quite a lot from our readers:1) "Is there a link between cell/smart phones and cancer?" 2) "Is there a product that provides effective radiation protection?"As you probably know, your cell phone, along with other common household electronic devices, emits EMFs (electromagnetic radiation fields). That much is an established fact.


Suzuki Motor Corporation has launched the all new Suzuki Alto 2015 minicar in Japan on 22 December, 2014. Interestingly this is the 8th generation of the Suzuki Alto. Suzuki Alto was first introduced back in early 1979 as city utility car. Since then, Suzuki Alto is favored by customers who are looking for a small car for commuting and it is evident from the fact that Suzuki Alto has Japan's domestic sales of 4.8 Million units.
The new Suzuki Alto is bringing in a lot of retro looks with large headlights. Alto will be available in 12 different color options. There are not many attractive features when it comes to exterior, but Suzuki has done a lot under the skin. Around 60kg of weight is reduced by implementation of the new platform and lighter but stronger materials. Alto is powered by Suzuki's famous 660CC three-cylinder engine with a fuel consumption of 37 km/L. There will be options for both naturally aspirated or turbocharged engine depending on trim levels with a 5-speed manual or a CVT transmission.
Standard safety features include seat-belt reminder on both driver and front passenger seats. Suzuki Alto will also be equipped with Hill Hold Control, which prevents the car from slopping down on inclines. Electronic Stability Control will also be standard across all the variants. Interior wise nothing much can be said. Simple retro interior with two-tone dashboard. Suzuki Alto comes with features like all powered windows, manual or even automatic air conditioning, cup holders, start-stop button, keyless entry, heated front seats, electric mirrors and a sound system with AUX-IN. Base price of Suzuki Alto with the current exchange rate stands at 840,000 JPY (700,000 PKR). Keep in mind that this price is ex-Japan and not the Suzuki Alto price in Pakistan. Overall the new Suzuki Alto 2015 is the latest addition into the Kei car segment and will sell in the numbers like it used to sell in the past.
A perfect car if delivered with the same features and price mentioned above. It would affect sales of suzuki mehran and even cultus because of its features. 37 Km/Litre is more than enough, mileage is almost comparable to CD70.
More ugly than the Pontiac Aztec..
Both Suzuki Pickup and potohar are PKDM cars, How can you think that Japs will copy a car which they made back in 90s?
it is mentioned that the design cues of this car are retro(classic, old), suzuki pickup and potohar both aren't Pakistan only cars but sold in international markets as well under the name of suzuki carry and suzuki samurai. the front grill is like a mehran and design of headlight is a combo of alto(pkdm) and mehran's headlights.
Is it Pakistan made or imported one from Japan?
When Suzukis were sold in the United States, at one time I was one of the Top 20 Suzuki salespeople in all of the US, and I enjoyed not only selling but owning and driving Suzukis. If this car was sold in the US, I would buy one in a heartbeat!
Yh gadi pk mn kb aay g????
Is the drive of this car better than Mira ES?


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News Sports Lifestyle Entertainment Opinion Obituaries eNewspaper Legals
State of affairs: Why Americans hate adultery
Lois M. Collins
Deseret News - lois@deseretnews.com
Editor's note: This article is part of "The Ten Today," a series that examines the Ten Commandments in modern society. This story explores the seventh commandment: "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
Americans place cheating on a spouse dead last on a list of acceptable behaviors, behind abortion, cohabitation, pornography, out-of-wedlock births and divorce, among others. A puny 6 percent say adultery is acceptable, according to a Gallup poll conducted last May.
American social taboos on many issues — especially issues of personal sexual choice — have been changing over time, but views on infidelity have not budged. It has been consistently frowned upon by the masses across decades and demographics. Adultery is less popular than cloning humans, polygamy, suicide and teenagers having sex — all of which were also close to the bottom of Gallup's list.
That disapproval has not ended infidelity, which may in fact be on the rise today among women, though men are still more likely to be unfaithful. The General Social Survey of the National Science Foundation found in 2010 that 19 percent of men said they had been unfaithful at some point, a drop from 21 percent in 1991. The number of unfaithful women increased from 11 percent in 1991 to 14 percent in 2010.
Other research shows a higher count, putting the proportion of cheating men as high as nearly one-fourth and women up to one-fifth. There are obviously problems with self-reported statistics on this question. A Wall Street Journal article theorizes that infidelity is undercounted, noting that "any such survey is asking for confessions from people who are presumably lying to their spouses."
A potential for explosive impact and collateral damage may keep adultery at the bottom of the list, experts told the Deseret News. Infidelity "seemingly has a larger ripple effect than other things like cloning or abortion. It continues to painfully impact a family as they interact at family events and have to raise children together. It affects the lives of children and the extended family as well," said Kristin Hodson, therapist and founder of Salt Lake-based The Healing Group, who co-wrote "Real Intimacy: A Couples' Guide to Healthy, Genuine Sexuality."
Many people — the adult who as a child saw the fallout from a parent's affair, the boyfriend or girlfriend who was cheated on, the spouse who feels betrayed — have wounds from infidelity, said Hodson. The seventh of the Ten Commandments is not a distant concept today, but something raw: "It's an issue that hits close to home for many that often is surrounded by a lot of pain," she said.
Defining infidelity
Rachel, 42, a Salt Lake City wife and mother, doesn't question husband Tim's assertion he was never physically intimate with another woman. Still, she considers business trips during which he visited strip clubs and the hours he spent lusting over pornography to be infidelity, and he agrees with her.
"Calling it betrayal doesn't even really describe it. It's not a deep enough word to describe the pain this has caused," said Rachel. "It doesn't begin to cover the fact that he has seen other women. Some women say it hurts their self-esteem. That's not it for me. I don't feel less desirable, but I don't want him thinking about someone or something that he's seen when he's with me. Worse, he broke his vow to me."
That she feels betrayed, although he never touched another woman, is an example of why even defining infidelity is so complicated.
"I see many couples where one partner engaged in an emotional affair, a sexual affair, pornography use that was hidden — and it's all under the umbrella of 'cheating,'" Hodson said.
It's a shame that couples don't talk explicitly about their expectations of what life together will be, said Lesli M. W. Doares, a marriage coach in Raleigh, N.C.
"We don't even make sure we share a definition of faithfulness, much less what forms infidelity might take," she said. "Is it physical? Emotional? Is it okay to have a 'work spouse?' To talk about intimate information?"
While virtually everyone recognizes sexual intercourse as cheating, many don't consider an emotional relationship or even one involving passionate kisses to be infidelity, she said. Hodson told the Deseret News that any affair of the heart can cause harm, eroding the baseline of trust: "Would you be doing whatever you're doing in front of your spouse?" she asked.
It can be slippery terrain. Adulterous relationships often start quite innocently, said Dusty Lefdal, owner of Employer's Investigative Services in Orland, Calif., who investigates unfaithful spouses.
He's called after an affair is underway, so he doesn't always know how it started.
"I can say, however, that a large amount seem to have met each other at work," he said. "Almost all the cheating cases I've worked involve the subject knowing in some capacity the other person" before the relationship became an affair. "It does happen where he or she meets a stranger at a gathering or a bar and has a one-night stand, but it is rare, in my experience."
Dishonesty is one of the most harmful aspects of infidelity, Doares said.
"When I promise to love and honor and get married, I'm making a public and private commitment that I am no longer walking through life by myself," said Doares, author of "Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work."
"How does that play out? There's a tension between what I want for me and what's best for our family, and how do we negotiate that?" she said. "I think if you share anything that rightfully belongs to your spouse, that's a problem."
More opportunity
Experts say it's hard to tell whether more people are cheating than in the past because of differences in definition and because more people are forming very personal, marriage-like relationships without actually marrying. Is it adultery if there's no spouse?
"I believe that women are catching up because they have greater exposure to other men in the workplace, the gym, on social media, etc.," Doares said. "There is also a diminishing emphasis on marriage itself. This is driven by an increased focus on self and personal happiness, as well as a lack of support for the institution in society at large."
People have more opportunity than ever before to have an affair, too. Hodson said she sees more women engage in affairs because it's much easier than in the past to connect with ex-boyfriends, meet new people and get one's personal needs met beyond a marital relationship. The same is true for men: "I mean, we live in a time where you can be cheating on your spouse while sleeping right next to him," Hodson said.
Virginia Rutter is pretty sure that young women cheat at a higher rate than young men. They have more opportunities than women of previous generations had and they don't worry about the same kind of reputation effects that those women faced.
"It's a norm that nonmarital sex is not uncommon or shocking to talk about in the way that is has been in other periods of time," said Rutter, professor of sociology at Framingham State University and a senior scholar for the Council on Contemporary Families.
Besides that, women are more economically independent than in previous generations. They are catching up in terms of many kinds of freedom.
However, it is also true that greater equality in marriage because of the economic contributions of women has also led to greater relationship stability and satisfaction, Rutter noted.
Gloria, 38, has been cheated on and she has cheated. But she is no fan of it. It's a case of "lesson learned," the Los Angeles-area woman said.
"I would agree that the worst part is the broken promise, the loss of commitment," she said. "I cheated first, not knowing the value of the commitment. It was definitely damaging."
She lost him. Later, she was betrayed by someone else, she said. He lost her: "All the relationships are over now," she said.
As for what people should know, "I would say that you need to love yourself first." Self-love and respect go a long way to stop people from straying, she added.
Seattle therapist Christopher Franklin said an astonishing number of affairs are fueled by sexual addiction. It's easy to find porn online or communicate with someone sexually online in an era of less-restrained cultural expectations. Current culture also makes it seem more acceptable. Sexualized images of women are "pervasive. It sets up an environment where it's acceptable to use sexuality as a leverage on both the male and female side," he said.
Hodson believes the fact that divorce rates are holding steady instead of rising means "couples do want to work things out and turn toward each other during marital crisis, not away from each other."
She often counsels couples who want to fight their way back on the condition that "the partner who breached the monogamy agreement is invested in figuring out what went wrong and repairing the situation." Hodson said it's sometimes a relief to find out a partner is cheating because it offers a reason for distance and indifference and orneriness.
"They often feel like now that all of the cards are out on the table, they can start really repairing their relationships because there are no more secrets," said Hodson. "They can explore what wasn't working; what went wrong. Many see the affair as a symptom of a bigger problem."
Others handle adultery differently.
When Steve first cheated on Vanessa, she took her vows seriously and didn't try to divorce him, but she didn't budge on what was right or wrong. For the sake of the kids, she tried to hold things together. But he was a serial cheater, and when they eventually did divorce: "I felt like I'd been let out of jail," said Vanessa, also from Salt Lake.
Randy, who lives in Cincinnati, is holding on for dear life, but he doesn't sugarcoat how much damage his wife's infidelity has done.
"It tears my heart out. I don't want another wife. She is the one. ... (But) I haven't hugged her in years," he said. "The lying and the betrayal cause me to recoil inside any time she touches me. I don't recoil on the outside. I just don't respond. She's the one, but I can't have her."
Because humans are programmed for intimacy, Franklin said, its violation creates great trauma.
"A lot of people I work with develop post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms as a result of affairs," he said. "It's very damaging to people."
Doares is among experts who believe that good relationships require active maintenance and preventive work. Relationships lived on autopilot are more likely to fall apart, she said.
"It requires intent and action, communicating expectations — being willing to really listen to a partner's perspective about the level of satisfaction in relationships and being willing to make room for a partner's viewpoint even though it's different," Doares said.
"I would love to see a relationships and life skills course in every college or high school across the country. A few do have it, and I think it's really helpful," she said.
Lois M. Collins, Deseret News
Email: lois@deseretnews.com, Twitter: Loisco


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Q: jQuery POST to Sinatra API Same Origin Policy? I have developed an application using Sinatra for the API and jQuery/HTML5/Phonegap for the client side.
I have problems testing my application from a simple HTML5 that basically POSTs a request to my Sinatra API using JSON data.
I heard about JSONP but don't think is going to solve my problem since I use POST and not GET.
Are there any other solutions that I should be looking for?

A: You may try cross-domain XHR. To use it you need to send response header, which will allow interaction. In simplest case it's:
Access-Control-Allow-Origin: *

With Sinatra you should write something like:
headers 'Access-Control-Allow-Origin' => '*'

One downside of such approach - not all browsers support cross-domain XHR by now, for example Opera doesn't.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


The Scrum guide has been updated to better reflect what Scrum is and clear up misconceptions. Scrum can be used for building software products, and it can be applied to many other areas outside of software as well. Scrum is a framework based on empiricism for continuous improvement. Having a potentially shippable product increment at least every sprint or more often is a key element of Scrum.
The agile paradigm adapts processes to human nature, in contrast to the classical management approach which obliges team members to adjust to a particular development process. Bateson's learning model can help us to go from doing agile - following an agile method - to being agile - having your own agile identity and vision.
More and more now value is created through connected organizations and individuals using seamless collaboration across boundaries. At the same time however, many companies are still influenced by management practices invented in 19th century. A paradigm shift is needed to successfully manage in the networked society.
Giving teams autonomy to spend 10% of their time for learning reduces delivery time, increases quality, and increases motivation. The 10% rule gives teams full autonomy to work on things they consider important. It results in freeing up people's creativity and letting teams grow their potential.


The House and Senate have now each passed their own similar tax bills and a conference will come up with a single unified plan. Each of the individual bills has been scored to add $1 trillion to the national debt over a ten year period and so the final plan will almost surely have this same feature.
With our public (on which interest is paid) debt now 77% of GDP, the highest since right after WWII, and already growing rapidly, this is an extremely unattractive, and even dangerous, feature of the tax plan.
The Republicans are the party of liberty concentrating on providing maximum opportunity for people to succeed in life by realizing their full potential. This means fostering strong economic growth in order to have lots of opportunities for self-betterment. It also means keeping government at all levels as lean and efficient as possible, so as to minimize interference with private initiative. Excessive public debt is a particular anathema by creating a huge public burden, especially on future generations.
The Democrats are the party of justice concentrating on helping to provide the less fortunate members of society with the necessities of life by means of public support programs. This also means working to oppose all forms of prejudicial behavior based on race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. In addition it means trying to alleviate the inevitable income inequalities which arise in a free and dynamic society like ours, primarily with redistribution of tax revenues.
Conclusion. Both parties have fundamentally important principles. They gain and keep adherents by fighting for what they believe in. If the national Republican Party becomes lackadaisical about our huge national debt, as it appears to be right now, it risks losing its reputation for fiscal responsibility. This will do it great damage.
Slow economic growth, averaging only 2% per year since the end of the Great Recession in June 2009. From 1950 – 2000 the economy grew at over 3% per year and produced a prosperous American middle class. Now, with strong headwinds from globalization and constantly improving technology, we badly need faster overall economic growth to provide more and better paying middle class jobs.
Income inequality. There is increasing income inequality in the U.S. even though the top 25% or so are doing very well. But raising taxes on the wealthy could slow down economic growth by discouraging new investment. In addition, redistribution of tax revenue to lower income Americans will not give them much of a boost.
Income insecurity. This is a huge problem for the many blue-collar workers who are struggling to make ends meet. There are a number of specific government actions which could alleviate this enormous societal problem.
Economic justice. Poverty in the U.S. is widely distributed geographically, with almost as much in rural and small town areas as in big cities. This could provide an opportunity for Republicans and Democrats to work together to address a very challenging problem.
Conclusion. Our country has very serious economic and fiscal problems which are not being addressed because of severe partisan infighting in Congress. But slow economic growth, income insecurity and poverty affect a wide variety of people with different political outlooks. It's inexcusable to allow partisan bickering to get in the way of finding workable solutions.
One of the topics I discuss on this blog is income inequality (here, here, and here). An interesting article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal, "Upper Middle Class Sees Big Gains, Research Finds," is highly pertinent to the inequality issue.
As can be seen in the above chart, the percentage of people in the middle class or above has greatly expanded between 1979 and 2014. Furthermore, the basic research on this issue,by Stephen Rose at the Urban Institute, shows very clearly (in the chart below) what is happening: the higher is a family income, the faster it is increasing.
Grow the economy faster with broad-based tax reform (lower tax rates paid for by shrinking deductions), immigration (guest worker) reform, (fair) trade expansion, and regulation reform (to help more small businesses get started). This will create more jobs and better paying jobs.
Improve education with early childhood education (to get minorities off to a better start in school), boosting high school graduation rates above the current 80% average (with better career and vocational education) and making college more affordable by putting more resources into community colleges and scholarships for low-income students.
Combat social inequality. The fraction of children with a single parent is the best predictor of upward economic mobility. The lower-income class marriage rate has dropped from 84% in 1960 to 48% in 2010. Policy should therefore focus on removing the marriage penalty in all government programs.
The basic forces of globalization and growing technology use are driving this societal change. The best way to respond is to enable more people to benefit from these basic trends.
In my last post, "Can the U.S. Economy Do Better?" I laid out the view of the Hoover Institution economist John Cochrane that a few basic changes such as deep tax reform, a thorough overhaul of social programs, more educational competition and regulatory simplification would go a long way towards perking up the economy.
The Global Financial Crisis (GFC) was not part of the normal boom and bust cycle, but rather the collapse of the postwar economic expansion under the weight of four main factors: high debt levels, large global imbalances, excessive financialization and an unsound build-up of future entitlements.
The economy risks becoming trapped in a QE-forever cycle. A weak economy leads to expansionary fiscal measures and Quantitative Easing (QE). If the economy responds then interest rates will go up and lead to a debt crisis. If the economy does not respond, then there is pressure for additional stimuli.
The economist Robert Gordon predicts that the future U.S. growth rate, adjusted for six big headwinds (demographics, declining educational attainment, rising inequality, effects of globalization, environmental costs, and debt overhang) may only be .2%, well below the 2.1% growth rate of the past few years.
The GFC may signal the zenith of globalization. The U.S. could function successfully as a closed economy, with foreign trade making up only 15% of GDP. The European Union and China could also turn inward. The rise of autarky and nationalism is a dangerous cocktail.
Financialization drives inequality. QE and low interest rates encourages high-income households to increase investments and therefore boosts the stock market. The increasing cost of healthcare, higher education and childcare is a big burden on low-income households.
Financial repression is increasingly accompanied by political repression which engenders lack of trust which in turn drives political disengagement and social disorder.
Ouch, ouch, ouch! This is a very negative assessment of the U.S. economic and social scene today. But I report the views of Mr. Das because they are reality based and need to be dealt with.
For seven years following the end of the Great Recession in June 2009 our economy has been plodding along at an average growth rate of 2.1% per year, much more slowly than after a typical recession. Instead of talking about how to fix the mess we are in, most of the presidential candidates are proposing measures which will make things even worse.
Restrict Trade. Free exchange is the cornerstone of a growing economy. Raising tariffs will restrict imports, cause inflation and harm American consumers. Killing the Trans Pacific Partnership, stopping the Keystone Pipeline, and curtailing legal immigration would just be a start.
Make Work Illegal. Raising the minimum wage to $15 per hour will do lasting harm to underprivileged teenagers who are denied a first job. In the U.S. today over 30% of jobs require a government license compared to only 5% in the 1950s. This creeping need for permission keeps untold millions out of the labor force.
Tax People More Unequally. Why should the tax code be riddled with exemptions, deductions and credits which primarily benefit the wealthy? Why do we insist on taxing corporations at 35% when all other advanced economies are competing to lower their corporate taxes? This simply drives jobs overseas.
Stop Innovation. Why does Washington continue to favor big banks and bail out old established industries? A generation ago 1 in 6 companies were startups: today 1 in 12 are.
Increase the Debt. Debt has more than doubled in the past decade, yet interest payments in 2015 were the same as in 2006, because rates are artificially low. How long can this last? A sure path to a slow growth future is this kind of fiscal profligacy. Just call it investment and hope that most people will ignore the problem.


text:
Ко́лосова — женская форма русской фамилии .

 Известные носители

 Колосова, Алиса Владимировна (род. 1987) — российская оперная певица, меццо-сопрано.
 Колосова, Валентина Павловна (Попова) (1880—1937) — российская революционерка.
 Колосова, Евгения Ивановна (урожд. Неелова; 1780—1869) — русская артистка балета и педагог.
 Колосова, Екатерина Ивановна (Казанцева; 1927—2002) — Герой Социалистического Труда, полевод.
 Колосова, Екатерина Петровна (ок. 1802 — ок. 1824) — русская артистка балета.
 Колосова, Ирина Викторовна (род. 1982) — исполнительница на малой домре, солистка оркестра русских народных инструментов «Москва».
 Колосова, Любовь Ивановна (по второму браку Млотковская; 1804—1866) — драматическая актриса.
 Колосова, Наталья Викторовна (род. 1982) — российская артистка балета, солистка Саратовского театра оперы и балета.
 Колосова, Риорита Пантелеймоновна — д.э.н., профессор, засл.проф.МГУ
 Марианна Колосова (Римма Покровская; 1903—1964) — русская поэтесса. См. также

  (топонимы)

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


The maps exemplify just how close Texas is coming to trading its scarlet for violet.
As you wait for Election Day results to flow in, explore how your community voted in 2012 by using the map above.
Texas has long been known for flooding events. Take a look at this interactive map for a brief tour of six historic flooding events in the state, stretching back to 1935.


What are book previews? They are a brief, easy-to-read summary of any relevant book which is recommended or essential reading for supporters of Scottish Independence. As well as providing a normal book review, they give an idea of the contents of the book and a few quotes or conclusions.


text:
Ang Lee | Brokeback Mountain / Susan Stroman | The Producers / Richard Shepard | The Matador
WHAT IS A GAY MOVIE?
Larry McMurtry and Dana Ossana (writers), based on a novella by E. Annie Proulx, Ang Lee(director) Brokeback Mountain / 2005
Thomas Meedhan and Mel Brooks (writers), Susan Stroman (director) The Producers / 2005
Mel Brooks (writer and director) Blazing Saddles / 1974
Richard Shepard (writer and director) The Matador / 2005
As I recently watched the Academy Awards, I was struck again by just how weak were the nominees of 2005. While it was true that this time around there were no elephantine clunkers like Titantic, the movies all appeared a bit pallid. I found George Clooney's Good Night, and Good Luck, for example, a very likeable film with some very important ideas behind it, but it was hardly a great masterwork of filmmaking. Capote is a well-crafted film, again presenting some interesting concepts, but despite its excellent actors, it is too long and a bit precious in its conceits. And the movie which was the favorite to win the Oscar, Brokeback Mountain, was in some ways the most problematic of all the movies I saw.
Let me begin by laying my proverbial cards on the equally proverbial table. As a gay male, who perceives that film often traffics in larger-than-life images of desire, I like to see films with handsome men, and it is fulfilling to occasionally see these beautiful men enjoying the company of and, perhaps, even enjoying the sexual pleasure of one another. I think most moviegoers recognize that—as "honest" and "real" as we might like our movies to be—one of the greatest joys in watching them is to see people behaving as we might in our romanticized dreams. As playwright Mac Wellman once said to me, "I want my plays to be performed by beautiful people; that's one of the great things about art. It isn't everyday life."
On the other hand, I've never really cared much whether a movie is "gay" or not. Indeed, I feel the same way about literature in general. I certainly wish more films dealt with homosexual figures who lived lives closer to the ordinary world my companion and I experience. But I also realize that that may not make for very interesting viewing. Moreover, living primarily in a century in which many of the most important writers include Proust, Mann, Barnes, Tennessee Williams, Jane Bowles, Stein, Pasolini, Ashbery, Cage—the list could go on for pages—I don't feel desperate for gay-themed film or theater with which I might identify. Casablanca is just as sexy to me as the bedroom scene with Terence Stamp and the young man of the house in Teorema—well, nearly as sexy. I attended Brokeback Mountain, accordingly, with some caution.
Perhaps it also rubbed me wrong that this film had been so touted as a "gay" movie, and was represented as "groundbreaking" for dealing with cowboys. Where had these publicists and critics been all these years? I thought it was common knowledge that in several westerns (even John Ford movies) cowboys were often busy with something other than cows, sheep, Indians, and guns. It isn't accidental; after all, that among the gay icons of desired manhood—right up there with policemen, sailors, and fresh-faced frats—is the cowboy.
What also struck me about this "gay-themed" movie was that hardly anyone involved with it was gay. I do not know the sexuality of the director, Ang Lee (his second film, The Wedding Banquet, had gay themes as well, and for reasons I won't go into here, I disliked the smug behavior of the gay couple in that film). The author, E. Annie Proulx, on whose novella Brokeback Mountain had been based, was clearly not a gay male. The screenwriters Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana are not gay; I took a course at American University in script writing with McMurtry, and I can tell you that he's so straight that he might not even be allowed in a gay bar! The actors, Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger, made sure that, despite what I read in a fan magazine, that "they faced the issue head on by actually sharing a trailer during the filming and eating meals together," their fans knew they were not homosexuals. Of course, that doesn't mean that these individuals could not imagine what a gay cowboy in 1963, when the movie is supposed to take place, might have felt. But I think it is perhaps indicative of some of the problems inherent in the film I finally saw.
The first part of the film, a long laconic testimony to the lonely life of the sheep-herding cowboys and an evocation of the beauty of the landscape in which they work, was perfectly reasonable. And I think it is not at all illogical or even out of the ordinary that these two lonely men, both of whom had come from dysfunctional families, would develop a kind of unspoken bond, even be attracted to one another, and, upon that lonely mountain, find themselves having sex. I don't care how loud the Christian coalitions yell, men—even straight men which both of these cowboys proclaimed themselves to be—sometimes have sex in situations where they exist for long periods of time without women. So their rather violent sexual outing—although we later suspect that it is not the first time for the Jake Gyllenhall character, Jack Twist—is quite believable; and I think most open-minded viewers would even comprehend why they might have wanted to repeat their sexual release on other occasions. This was, after all, just sex.
However, the movie's premise is more complex, as it goes on to require one to believe that even after their separation, and marriage and family for both of them, that a deep love relationship had magically occurred on that mountain—a relationship that demanded that they see one another again and again over the years. If anything, the extreme promiscuity of the gay life at the same period of the early and mid-sixties—the period in which, soon after, I became sexually active—might indicate that in the closeted world of the day, gay sex was one thing, long term relationships quite another.
Other than their shared difficulties with family life, we have little evidence of any personal relationship that might have determined their sustained love—love that, despite Ennis's fears of being discovered, is made apparent enough that his former boss and maltreated wife are witnesses. Perhaps the director and writers simply felt that projecting two attractive male actors entwined in a kiss upon the screen would proclaim their life-long love. However gay men, like heterosexual couples, have to have something deeper between them than bodies and the urge. In Casablanca, for example, the love between Elsa and Rick may have begun as sexual desire between two beautiful individuals, but the viewer also understands that—even if it is only vaguely portrayed—they have had an intellectual and experiential relationship, they have had to undergo the shared experiences—if nothing else—of being frightened, living in Paris as the Nazis take over the countryside and march toward the city. They have had Paris—not just a sexual moment in time.
Perhaps if the original writer and screenwriters had been less satisfied with the smoldering and silent suffering of their character-types and dealt more clearly with what might have drawn them together, the audience would have more fully understood just why they couldn't "quit" one another and the characters themselves—through the writers' more full development—might have found a way out of their predicaments. Even if living together on a ranch were impossible, in 1963 they might have found numerous other areas where their life would have been easier. Ennis may have wanted to remain near his daughters, but there is little evidence that he did much for them, other than planning to attend one of their weddings, by staying on. But, obviously, that is another movie, one that Brokeback Mountain is not. Unfortunately, as it stands, the portrayal of gay life in this movie is almost as stereotypical, if less painful, as the hundreds of fag-joke-laden, queer-baiting, winking movies we've had to encounter from Hollywood over the century.
Let me add that I am not trying to make light of the difficulties of rural gay life revealed in this novella and film. We have only to think of the murder of Matthew Sheppard (an event that occurred years later in 1998) to know that it was—and perhaps still is—dangerous living as a gay man or lesbian for that matter in the "rugged" West. Jack's death hints at the continued violence against homosexuals who too openly reveal themselves. Perhaps what the movie more succinctly portrays is the fact that, like the cultures from which they had come, these men were too taciturn and passive to escape their inevitable loneliness. Accordingly, Brokeback Mountain seems less a movie about gay cowboys to me than a film about two very isolated men. And the movie, although it means well, stands less as a film about gay cowboys than serving as an iconic image of them.
At least in Brokeback Mountain the traditional Hollywood stereotypes of gay life were kept in abeyance. In Mel Brooks's film version of his hit musical The Producers we witness an almost loving restoration of fag-bashing raucousness. From the fag-in-drag character of Robert DeBris, to his hissing companion, Carmen Ghia—as well as a whole household of dancing fairies, fruity chorus boys and a diesel dyke—Brooks manages to recreate every nasty type of homosexual ever portrayed. To be fair, he treats young women, older women, Jews, Germans and any other grouping that strikes his fancy in the same way. That is, after all, his schtick. Early in Brokeback Mountain the cowboys complain of their daily diet of beans; one should recall that in Brooks's 1974 comic western, Blazing Saddles, he spends what might seem to anyone beyond the third grade level as a long hour of cowboys farting on account of that same diet.
I know some readers will now accuse me of having no sense of humor! Well, I did laugh. I was even a bit touched—perhaps I should say tetched in the head—by Will Ferrell's sweetly-sung after-the-credits Nazi Musak tune. If The Producers, however, has anything to do with a "gay" movie, I want to resign immediately.
When I first suggested to friend Deborah Meadows what I was going to explore in this short essay, she wondered if perhaps I had lost my mind. For I am now going to argue that the most truly "gay" movie I saw this year was The Matador, which does not outwardly portray any gay characters or even talk of them. Yet once I take up the role of a gay detective—a role any gay man of my generation was often forced to play—I cannot but think that this is story of a homoerotic relationship. Richard Shepard's comedic crime-drama about a burned-out hit man and an every-day, family-loving salesman spins out a tale that reveals far more than what it says on its surface.
Danny Wright (played by Greg Kinnear) dearly loves his wife, obviously enjoys sex with her, but something has gone amiss in their relationship; their child has recently died, and his wife, Carolyn "Bean," has a difficult time getting over it. Their home life is perhaps best represented by the events of the morning upon which her husband is about to embark on a sales trip to Mexico, as a tree comes crashing through their ceiling. If they have hinted to each other about their "bad luck," the viewer now sees that something is rotten in Eden.
Julian Noble (brilliantly played by Pierce Brosnan) has just blown up a car and its owner, and is about to kill a business woman on the streets of Mexico City. Along the way he visits a brothel and has various other encounters; but it is quite clear that, despite his necessarily selfish and unfeeling life, he is lonely and desperate to find some way out.
In the hotel bar where both Danny and Julian are staying, Julian strikes up a conversation:
Julian: Margaritas always taste better in Mexico.
Danny: Yes they do.
Julian: Margaritas and cock.
Danny is slightly offended, asking his drinking companion if he's serious, to which Julian quips, "I'm as serious as an erection problem." As Danny turns to leave, Julian apologizes "Sorry about the cock thing, it's kind of a conversation stopper."
So the two meet. Even had the male anatomy not been the subject of their conversation, one would still have to question what attracts Danny to Julian so quickly that he agrees to join him the next day at a bull fight. Anyone with even a smidgeon of understanding about male bonding would recognize that this is one of the most traditional of man-to-man pastimes—a trial of friendship Hemingway made quite famous. Julian's announcement at the fight, moreover, that he is a hit-man is almost the same as revealing to someone you've just met that you're queer—a dangerous admission. Danny's insistence that he "prove it" takes us into a symbolical sexual spin, which ends—as any gay detective knows it must—with a drunken Julian pounding upon Danny's door late one night, begging to be let in like an apologizing lover. The film discreetly evades any opening of the door: we see Danny simply sitting alone on the hotel balcony in avoidance of the assault.
After a large chunk of necessary plot, revealing the devolution of Julian in his murderous avocation, the viewer is awarded the inevitable continuation and conclusion of their homoerotic relationship, as Julian suddenly shows up at the door of the couple's Denver home, again begging to gain entrance: "Danny, Danny with the large white fanny!" Julian is determined to stay the night, and Danny's wife—as any intuitive woman might—recognizes there is something strange going on. Although Danny has shared almost everything with her, there is one incident he has not: what happened when he opened his bedroom door. Writer Shepard has Bean do what any woman would do in order to save her marriage: she flirts with the intruder. The dialogue is a hilarious concatenation of Freudian inferences:
Bean: Did you bring your gun?
Julian: Yes, as a matter of fact.
Bean: May I see it?
Julian: Really?
Bean: Yes, please.
The two end up in a slow midnight dance, and a later whispered conversation with her husband reveals her understanding of the situation: "Aren't we fucking cosmopolitan? Having a trained assassin stay overnight. Letting heartbreaking lies roll over us like a summer breeze."
Julian demands that Danny join him in a hit or he will reveal what really happened between them that evening back in the hotel. Danny, it appears, has no choice but to join in. The good gay detective can only tell you that for a man of Danny's moral fiber to join another man in a murder demands a deeper relationship between them than a simple encounter at the bar and a visit to a bull fight. But the movie takes the situation even further, suggesting that Danny not only helps in the murder that will free his friend from certain death, but actually commits the act. The fact that we learn what happened in that room was not a sexual act but a lapse of Danny's moral commitment, a request that his friend make a "hit" on the buyer who'd refused his company the contract, hardly matters within the context in which I am writing. Danny's temporary immorality is greeted by Julian's refusal, "If I did it, you'd regret it instantly," which we all know is what the gallant says to the eager woman willing to engage in illicit sex. Moreover, Julian's statement creates a relationship between them that is perhaps every bit as strong as homosexual love: as Danny later admits to Julian, "You became my friend. You became my lifelong friend." Meeting Mr. "Right," Julian has displayed that he is truly "Noble."
In short, Shepard has created a stunning parable about what it means to be gay without literally engaging in the subject. I can well imagine that in most audiences those that have not had training in gay detection might not suspect a thing. For me, The Matador reveals more of gay life, portraying what attracts two men to form a relationship with one another, than Brokeback Mountain's broodingly nervous cowboys.
Los Angeles, March 13, 2006
Reprinted from The New Review of Literature, Vol. 4, no. 1 (October 2006).
city December 16, 2012 at 11:51 PM
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Jillian Pransky is a certified master yoga teacher, and yoga alliance certified teacher who leads yoga retreats, yoga teacher trainings, yoga classes and yoga workshops on yoga therapeutics and restorative yoga. Check out the list of upcoming events.
Throughout the training, you will learn how to help your students and clients cultivate a lasting experience of healing, health, and wellness, whatever their conditions. You will gain confidence in your thinking process and observation and assessment skills and graduate prepared to work in group settings and one-on-one to address a wide variety of therapeutic needs. You will develop a personal approach that draws on your strengths and interests and gain deep insight to your own well-being and balance as a healer and practitioner.


text:
'He quietly tip-toed into my room, eyes sleepy and hair disheveled from tossing and turning. 'Can I lie with you?': Mom shares sweet reminder 'one day they won't come to you anymore'
Edited By Amanda Doulos
"The little boy quietly tip-toed into my room, as if he was invisible. His eyes were sleepy, yet he was wide awake.
His hair was disheveled from tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
'Can I lie with you?'
He snuggled in and wrapped his small arms around me tightly, almost squeezing me.
He just needed his mom.
I wanted some me time. Scratch that. I NEEDED some me time, but I was unable to turn him away.
I knew he needed me.
He needed comforting.
He needed to know that I was there, and he could count on me.
Courtesy of Karen Szabo
You see, this lockdown and remote learning isn't boding well with him. He's high energy and busy.
He can't sit at a computer and listen.
He's distracted. Unfocussed.
And while I'm irritated and frustrated with his inability to follow through, I'm also empathetic to his situation.
He is, after all, a mini version of his mom.
It's quite obvious how similar he is to me as a child. Heck, even as an adult I have trouble concentrating and focusing.
It's been a really rough go.
But regardless of how selfish I wanted to be in that moment, I couldn't turn him away.
We lay there, silently, watching some mindless television program that he didn't understand, and I felt him release his energy.
He became calmer and more settled.
He felt safe and supported.
There will be a time when he won't come to me, I know this.
He will be too cool or think he's too old to go see mommy.
He'll try to fight it on his own.
But until that day comes, I will be here.
And he knows it."
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Karen Szabo from Toronto, Canada. You can follow her journey on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and her blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Karen:
'I've been SUCKED DRY of any energy to keep up the facade of being a happy-go-lucky, I've-got-this pandemic parent.': Mom opens up about the stress of Covid parenting, 'Calling yourself names isn't going to help'
'I wondered why on EARTH I thought it was a good idea to have a child.': Woman opens up about postpartum depression, anxiety, 'Mamas, please know you aren't alone'
Read more stories like this here:
'My 4-year-old had a rough week. He's been acting 'off.' Anxiety and depression don't care if you're 5, 25, or 65.': Mom gives son mental health day, 'kids are never too young to talk about their struggles'
'They grow up fast. You'll miss this someday.' REALLY? I'm going to miss being tortured by my 2 kids wrestling like bear cubs in a grocery store?': Mom says it's okay to 'not love every part of motherhood,' admits her kids can be 'brutally annoying'
'Sorry, I'm just tapped out.' I said this to my kids' teacher as she requested a private zoom. I'm trying to function in the unfunctionable.': Mom of 5 says 'we're freaking rockstars'
'The self-talk has to stop. Motherhood is not sunshine and rainbows. It's mundane many days. I lose my patience. I screw up. I have unwashed dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor.'
Do you know someone who could benefit from this? SHARE this story on Facebook with family and friends.
#honestmotherhood, be kind, comfort kids, Compassion, compassion is contagious, family, kids, Kindness, kindness is contagious, lockdown, love, love kids, Love What Matters, mom, motherhood, mothering during a pandemic, online school, pandemic, pandemic parenting, parenting, parenting during a pandemic, raw motherhood, spread kindness, support, support kids
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'Call my mom,' he'd written on his shirt. He just hung himself off a bridge. I did not believe it.': Mother urges 'you are not a burden' after losing 'beautiful, smiling-faced' son to suicide
"We woke up to find him gone. We'd just gotten into an argument because he was caught sneaking out. We couldn't call him because he had his phone taken away. Panic set in. Was he running away? Or just hiding out for a bit? We turned the corner to police cars, fire trucks, and road closures. 'Are you Jennifer Chappell?,' the police officer asked me. 'Yes.' I was too late."


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text:
Wang Qiang may refer to:

Sportspeople
Wang Qiang (footballer) (born 1984), Chinese association footballer
Wang Qiang (wrestler) (born 1987), Chinese freestyle wrestler
Wang Qiang (martial artist) (born 1989), Chinese kick boxer
Wang Qiang (tennis) (born 1992), Chinese tennis player
Wang Qiang (skier) (born 1993), Chinese cross-country skier
Wang Qiang (judoka) (born 1991), Chinese judoka

Other
Wang Zhaojun (1st century BC), also known as Wang Qiang, ancient Chinese beauty
Wang Qiang (composer) (born 1935), Chinese composer
Wang Qiang (calligrapher) (born 1959), Chinese calligrapher and professor
Wang Qiang (serial killer) (1975–2005), Chinese serial killer
Wang Qiang (general) (born 1963), Air Force general of the People's Liberation Army.

See also
Wang (surname)