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Angrily Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Angrily jokes. There are some angrily back jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these angrily scowl puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Happy Angrily Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
"I love you lots snuggles" said my girlfriend
"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat cunt's going deaf.
Joke about how dangerous China is
An American tourist came to China and fell into a construction ditch, he came out, injured, and angrily told the tour guide, "In America, in a dangerous area, we always put up red flags to warn people! Why wasn't there one here?"
The Chinese tour guide very calmly replied, "Didn't you already see it when you entered the country?"
So a blonde girl takes her goldfish to the vet...
...and she says to the veterinarian, "Hey, I think my goldfish has epilepsy; it has these awful seizures!"
The veterinarian takes one look at the fish and replies, "Well, it looks alright to me."
The blonde replies angrily, "Well Jesus, let me get it out of the bowl first!"
I got into a car accident with a midget...
He got out of his car, angrily shaking his fist and yelled, "I'm NOT happy!"
"Well," I replied, "which one are you?"
My favourite lawyer joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Upon receiving his drink he mutters: 'all
lawyers are assholes.'
A guy down the bar angrily yells: 'HEY!'
'Oh I'm sorry, are you a lawyer?' The man replies.
'No I'm an asshole!'
A man comes home really really drunk....
...clenching a bouquet of flowers.
He goes to the bedroom, turns on the light and in a slurry voice he says:
"Here ya go honey, these are for you.."
To which his wife angrily replies; "Oh well that's great, I guess now you expect me to spread my legs?"
The man looks at the bouquet, then back at his wife and says:
"Why, you don't have a vase?"
Borrowed Car
One day Phil had to borrow a car, so he asked his friend Bob. Bob said that it was fine, so he gave Phil the keys and told him to return them by the end of the day. A week later, Phil hadn't returned the car. Bob called Phil angrily and asked why he hadn't given it back yet. Phil replied, "I drove by your house a bunch of times, but I didn't see your car in the driveway, so I thought you weren't home!"
A girl was about to jump off a cliff...
A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have sex with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."
3 drunk men
Three men hail a taxi. The driver—seeing that they're drunk—decides to pull a fast one. So he switches the engine on, then quickly switches it off and announces, We're here!
The first guy hands him the fare, the second guy says, Thanks, but the third guy angrily smacks the
cabbie's head.
What was that for? asks the cabbie, afraid he's been caught.
That, says the passenger, is for driving so fast!
A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.
He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"
Two men in a park.
A creepy guy walks up to another man in a park.
Creepy guy leans close to the man and whispers "do you have any naked photos of your wife?"
The man angrily says "certainly not".
Creepy guy says "would you like to buy some?"
scornfully
disgustedly
sarcastically
scowl
yells
furiously
incredulously
menacingly
indignant
loudly
anxiously
sullenly
bitterly
gruffly
asks
dejectedly
nervously
indignantly
calmly
vehemently
impatiently
stammer
You can explore angrily disgustedly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean angrily sarcastically dad jokes. There are also angrily puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
This husband wins the fight every time.
A newlywed couple are having their first big fight since being married. Things start getting heated when the husband angrily says "You know I'm right, I'm twice as smart as you!" Furious, the wife asks incredulously "What the heck, how could you say that!" The husband responds, "Well, just look at who I married compared to who you married, and tell me who is smarter!"
Use this one with caution in your own marriage :-)
A computer programmer was sitting at home with his wife.
He takes a cigarette out of his pocket, lights it, and takes a puff.
His wife looks at him angrily and says,
"You really need to stop doing that. Can't you see the warning on the box? It says 'hazardous to health!'"
The programmer takes another puff of his cigarette and says,
"I'm a computer programmer. I don't care about warnings. I only care about errors."
A pizza guy enters an obesity clinic and says, "I have 15 meat lover pizzas with extra cheese."
The nurse at the receptionist desk angrily asks him, "Why would you come here and mock our patients?"
The pizza guy defensively answers, "It's just what the doctor ordered!"
Argon walks into a bar
The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, "Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"
Argon doesn't react.
A penitent man decided to give up sex for Lent...
A penitent man decided to give up sex for the Lenten season. His wife was not informed of this situation, however. One the second night after Ash Wednesday, she showed some interest in relations. Rebuffing her advances he said, "I'm sorry, honey--I can't. It's Lent."
Angrily, she replied, "To whom and how long?"
So this nun is driving along...
... when suddenly a drunk staggers out into the road in front of her. She skids to a stop, gets out, and scolds him severely, making several derogatory remarks, and angrily lecturing him on how dangerous he was being. The drunk looks at her for a minute, then punches her in the face, knocking her out cold.
Standing over her prone form, the drunk grins triumphantly, and slurs out "Yeah! Not so tough now, are you Batman?".
Grandmas don't know everything.........
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse , darling.
Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse . It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you.'
A man is called into the doctor's office for his yearly checkup. When he enters the office, the doctor tells the man that he needs to stop masturbating.
The man is taken aback. Angrily, he asks the doctor why.
The doctor says "So I can examine you."
While playing in the backyard, Johnny kills a honeybee
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?
My boss called me.
"Why are you late?!" he asked angrily.
"I'm stuck behind a group of bikers." I replied.
He said, "Can't you just ask them to move over?"
"But they look tough," I replied, "And the barman hasn't served them yet."
What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend?
"IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"
My wife came home from work and stormed angrily into the bedroom where I was sat.
"I get the impression you aren't being loyal to me," she said.
"Why?" I frowned.
"You've been very quiet recently. And you're always hanging around with that girl from work, Rachel?"
"Rochelle." coughed a voice from the wardrobe.
I came home to my wife yelling "The square root of pi!" angrily.
I told her she was being irrational.
I got distracted today while driving and rear-ended the car in front of me.
The car door opened and out hopped the driver. He stormed up to me, all 3' 9" of him, and angrily blurted out "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
*"Which one are you then?"*
Two scientists walk into a bar...
The first one says, "I'd like some H2O."
The second says, "And I'll have some H2... wait. Why aren't you just referring to water by its normal name? I mean, I know it's our job, but we're just getting a drink."
The first scientist slams the table angrily, for his assassination scheme had been foiled.
An officer pulls over a speeding blonde and asks her for her license.
She angrily exclaims "Yesterday you took away my license and now you want to see it again?"
Blonde father
A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby.
One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said, All right, who's the other father?
An old man is walking through a crowded cafeteria...
Blocking the exit is a man with 14 children.
The old man scowls and makes his way through the children, but his metal cane hits some of the childrens' legs as well as the man's legs.
The man angrily says "Hey, could you put some rubber on that tip of yours! You're bangin' us up!"
The old man haughtily replies "If you had done that before then we wouldn't be in this situation!"
Another blonde joke...
A blonde was speeding on a highway when a policeman pulled her over.
The policeman walks up to the blonde and say "excuse me ma'am can I see your driving license and registration."
The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took my license away and then today you expect me to show it to you."
An Australian man has just arrived to America
An Australian man has just arrived to America and almost got hit by a car while crossing the road.
The American driver got out of his car very angrily and yelled:
"Did you come here to die?!"
"No, I came here yesterday."
If your girlfriend's dad ever angrily asks "where do you get off"
"In your daughter" is the wrong answer
An officer pulls over a speeding blonde woman
After she rolls down her window, he asks her to take out her license.
She angrily exclaims "Yesterday you guys took away my license and now you expect me to have it on me?"
A redneck and a midget get into an accident
The midget gets out of his car, hands on his hips and squeaks angrily, "I am not happy!"
The redneck spits and drawls "so which one are you?"
An old Jedi master named Ben stole Luke Skywalker's last pastry.
Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, Hey, you Owe Me One Canoli!
A fat British man walks into a store...
... He sees a box of pills labeled "Lose 50 Pounds Instantly, if it doesn't work we'll give you your money back!". Excited and with nothing to lose, the man promptly purchases the pills and gobbles them down on the spot, but to not effect. Angrily, he tells the cashier it didn't work and he wants his money back. The cashier replies "Yes it did, you have the receipt as proof."
A man attacks a woman wearing a fur coat..
..and shouts at her angrily - "Do you have any idea how many minks had to die for you to wear that fur??"
"It is not mink, it's polyester!"
"Doesn't matter!! Do you know how many polyesters had to die!?"
A slightly overweight transgendered person walks into a health food store
the manager instantly runs up and tells her to leave the store, "why?" she asks confusedly, the manager points angrily at a sign on the door
"No trans fats"
(I dont mean to offend anyone, I just heard this from a trans friend.)
Homework.
A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."
One day, a teacher said "Whoever can answer my next question can get dismissed now".
Tom threw his bag outside the window.
The teacher asked angrily "Who threw the bag?"
Tom answered "It's me! "
Tom got dismissed early.
A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store,
A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store and slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.
The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"
The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are meant for 'cats'?"
A man marries a women who is a very good cook..
Every time she makes something he says,
"This doesnt taste like how my mom used to make it."
Final after a year of this at every meal she angrily asks, " How did your moms taste??!!"
"Awful" He replies.
I saw biggish girl at the pub last night,
Her t shirt said "watch out I'm a man eater!"
I went up to her and said " excuse me, love ... About your t shirt slogan."
She interrupted me and angrily snapped " oh let me guess: you want to know how many man I've eaten? Well, you know what, I can't help my size."
I said "Actually, no, I wasn't going to say that at all. "
She looks happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you what to say then?"
"That's not how you spell manatee."
A drunk man goes into a restaurtant
A drunk man goes into a restaurtant. He tells the waiter: "I'll have one portion of Carbonara and 2 beers."
The waiter tells him: "Sorry, we don't serve drunk people. Please leave."
The man angrily leaves, comes back 15 minutes later and says: "I'll have one portion of Carbonara and 2 beers."
The waiter tells him again: "Sorry sir, I already told you. We don't serve drunk people. Please leave."
The man leaves again, comes back 20 minutes later and says: "I'll have one portion of Carbonara and 2 beers."
The waiter shouts at him: "Get out of here now! I told you 2 times already: WE DON'T SERVE DRUNK PEOPLE!"
The man asks him: "Dude, is there a restaurant you don't work at?"
The attorney filed a motion for a new trial. The judge barked angrily "On what grounds!?"
"Your honor," the lawyer explained, "my client has discovered some money that I didn't know he had."
This father has always been disappointed by his son...
One day he sees his son watching tv and asks him
"Son, how old are you?"
"I'm 5 Dad!" says his son, joyful
To which the father angrily replies "Me, at your age, I was 6!"
My ex-girlfriend's father, a 6'4" retired marine, angrily banged on my door last week.
I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!"
"Sir?" I asked.
"When you told me she was old enough to move out of our house, I was skeptical..."
"Yes, sir"
"But you talked to me man to man, looked me in the eye and told me you would take care of her!"
"And you promised me that if she moved in with you and took care of the house she could quit her job and you would cover her weekly income!"
"Yes sir, but I believe this is simple misunderstanding. When I said that, it was two words, not one."
A programmer
A programmer is going to the grocery store and his wife tells him, "Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So the programmer goes, buys everything, and drives back to his house. Upon arrival, his wife angrily asks him, "Why did you get 13 gallons of milk?" The programmer says, "There were eggs!"
A couple was having a quarrel in a lodge...
The man calls the manager and says, "I'm having an argument with my wife, and now she wants to jump out the window please come fast!"
The Manager angrily responds, "I am sorry sir this is your personal issue, please do not waste my time again."
The Husband replies back, "The window is not opening. This is not a personal issue, this is a maintenance issue."
A guy walks into a hotel
He asks at the front desk for his reservation .
The manager asks about his details and then gives him the key.
The guest then takes his room key and goes into the elevator.
After half an hour he comes back and angrily complains the manger that he couldn't find his room
The manager calmly replies," Well what did you expect when you booked room 404?."
A woman goes to the doctor to ask how she can get bigger boobs...
The doctor says: "just rub a piece of toilet paper between your boobs every day"
1 month later she still has no result despite doing exactly what the doctor asked. The woman goes back and asks angrily: "doc, i rub a piece of toilet paper between them every day, yet my boobs are still the same size! How is this possible?"
The doctor says:" Well, i dunno it worked with your ass..."
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"
Do you really have to lick the knife? she growled angrily. Sorry, force of habit. I chuckled. Lots of people do it though, don't they?
Yes, but not during surgery, doctor.
The other night I overheard three very hefty women talking
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked: "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched: "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied: "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
And that's the last thing I remember.
A lawyer approached the Pearly Gates of Heaven
I'm only 45 years old! Why is it already my time to depart? Send me back to Earth right now or I'll sue you! he angrily snapped to the gatekeeper.
Based to the records of your billable hours, Mr. Lawyer, you're 98 years old. , replied the gatekeeper.
His holiness the Dalai Lama
Sent an email to Xi Jinping.
Xi Jinping opened the email and clicked on the attachment.
It was malware and the Party's computer system crashed.
Xi Jinping got on the phone and angrily demanded an answer from His Holiness.
"With attachment, comes suffering", said the Dalai Lama
A rope walks into a bar...
The bartender points at him and says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind around here. Get out! "
The rope calmly exits the building, twists himself up, parts his hair, and goes back inside a few minutes later.
The bartender sees him again and asks angrily, "Aren't you that rope I just kicked out?"
"No, sir." the rope responds, "I'm a frayed knot."
other soldiers in the trojan horse: [angrily staring at me]
**me:** guys my clarinet isn't going to practice itself
An Asian walks into a currency exchange and get $100 back for his exchange
Next day he goes there again and for the same amount of money he receives $94 this time.
He asks the teller "why $6 less today compared to yesterday"
The teller say "fluctuations"
The Asian man get up angrily and storms out slamming the door, turns around and shouts "fluc you Americans too!"
A stuttering man sits in a train
He is in a cabin with two other guys. He asks the one guy: "h-h-hey d-d-d-do you know wha-a-at t-t-time it is?"
The other guy looks at him, doesn't reply. So the stuttering guy repeats his question: "h-h-hey d-d-d-do you know wha-a-at t-t-time it is?"
Still nothing. So the stuttering guy angrily gets off at the next stop. The third guy in the cabin asks:" hey man, why didn't you just tell him the time?"
The other guy replies: "D-d-do you thi-i-ink i wa-a-ant to g-g-get b-b-beaten up?"
A dog wakes up at the vet
The dog asks "Where am I?" The vet answers "At the vet, you have just been neutered!"
The dog replies angrily "fight me!"
"you don't have the balls"
A man is sent to gulag for 20 years
The guards ask: what did you do?
The man replies: Nothing
The guard angrily shouts: Liar! for nothing you get only 5 years
A Japanese business man living in nyc goes into the bank to exchange a large amount of US dollars into Yen....
He does the transaction with the teller, offer a polite bow accompanied by an 'ah so', and leaves.
He comes back in a week with another large amount of usd to exchange. This time he gets much less yen. He looks quizzically at the teller and she says to him, 'fluctuations'!!
He angrily grabs the cash and storms out. As he's leaving the branch he comes back in and yells at the top of his voice: 'fluc you Americans too!!!'
A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.
Mr Munger
Mr. Munger is lying poolside at the country club when the club manager approached him. "Mr. Munger, some of the other members have been complaining about you peeing in the pool," said the manager. "Oh c'mon," said Munger. "Why are you you singling me out? I'll bet everyone here pees in the pool!" The manager replied angrily, "NOT FROM THE HIGH DIVE, MR. MUNGER!"
The 3rd child asked her mother
Did you want a daughter or a son when I was born?
Mom angrily:
I wanted neither.
I just wanted a towel from your father while having bath!
The young man finally made up his mind to tell his mother he was gay.
He could no longer keep it a secret so one evening when she was in the kitchen making supper, he took the plunge and told her.
Mum, I have something to tell you, I'm gay.
Immediately, his mother replied, Does being gay mean you have men's dicks in your mouth?
Well … stammered the young man. Yes, it does.
In that case, she said angrily, don't you ever criticise my cooking again.
Tom lost a foot in a traffic accident.
Years later, he fell in love with Mary. Tom didn't tell Mary his disability, worrying that she might leave him.
Tom loved Mary so much that he proposed to her and she said yes.
The next day after the wedding, Mary called her mother angrily : " My husband has only one foot "
Her mother calmly replied :" Your father has only 6 inches ."
A man walked into a pharmacy.
"Do you have anything to cure hiccups?" he asked.
The pharmacist didn't reply.
Again, the man asked "Excuse me, I asked if you have anything for hiccups?"
Still the pharmacist stayed silent.
The man started getting annoyed. "Can you hear me? I'm looking for something fo-"
Suddenly the pharmacist leaned over the counter and slapped the man across his face.
"There, you're not hiccuping anymore, are you?!" The pharmacist said triumphantly.
The man replied angrily "No but my wife waiting in the car is."
An irate woman bursts through the doors of a bar, angrily screaming, "All lawyers are assholes!" This enrages a patron at the end of the bar, who stands up and shouts, "Hey! I take offense to that!"
"Why?" she asks, sneering at him, "You a lawyer or something?"
"No," he retorts, "I'm an asshole!"
A man keeps praying to God to please let him win the lottery...
He prays every day for years... and years... and years!! He even got his church to pray for him with diligent prayer warriors.
One day he angrily shouts at God, why won't you hear my effing prayer..!!???
God answers, why don't you go buy an effing ticket..??!!
So I went to this Vietnamese Resturaunt
...when I saw some patrons stomp out angrily muttering about someone being rude. It smelled so good I was undeterred. There was a soup station where they put it all together in front of you. I asked the host how.it worked and he pointed and said "pho queue over there"
An old one: A rabbi and a priest go golfing, but the rabbi keeps missing his shots.
Whenever this happens, he angrily exclaims, Goddammit, I missed! At each hole, the rabbi swears, and at each hole, the priest shakes his head. Finally, on the final hole, the exasperated priest declares, Rabbi, if you continue with this disrespect for the Lord's name, so help me, may He strike you down right here on the green. The rabbi swings, misses, and swears. Suddenly, a lightning bolt descends and incinerates the priest. A heavenly voice then cries out, Goddammit, I missed!
A mathematician comes home at three in the morning.
His wife has been waiting for him and says angrily, "You're late. You said you'd be home at 11:45!"
"Actually," the mathematician replies, "I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
A cop is driving down the freeway when he looks over and spots a granny knitting whilst balancing the steering wheel with her knees
He pulls alongside the granny, and angrily shouts "pull over!"
The granny shouts back, "no, it's a scarf"
I was at the bar the other night ...
... and overheard three very big ol' fat women talking at the bar. They all spoke with a heavy brogue accent.
I made an unfortunate assumption that their accents appeared to be Scottish… so I approached and asked, Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?
One of them angrily screeched, It's Wales… you bloody idiot! \*
So I immediately apologized…. and replied, I am so sorry! Are you three whales from Scotland?
I almost didn't post this joke, but I decided you deserve it.
The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, You aren't that good in bed either!
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?
I was in bed.
What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?
Two blonde girls are standing, one on each side of a river.
One of the blondes yells over to the other one, How do I come about getting to the other side of the river? .
The other blonde angrily yells back, You see, it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad. You ARE on the other side of the river.
Burglar breaks into a house
Burglar breaks in. Immediately hears a voice say "Jesus sees you". He looks around to figure out who was talking to him. Frustrated he yells " Who is it? Who are you?" "I am moses", answers someone. Spotting the source of the voice, he finds Moses, a parrot. Burglar angrily asks "Which idiot named a parrot Moses?" Parrot answers "Same idiot who named the rottweiler Jesus, RIP".
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what? s up. "He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn't find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once. " "Laxatives won't cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily. "Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough. "
One of my buddies made a trans girl cry yesterday. So I angrily asked, "How could you..."
"... propose to her without telling me first?"
A circle walks into a bar. The bartender sees him, and waves, then shouts to the whole room, "another drink for everybody - on this guy!" Everybody in the pub cheers.
But the circle is not happy. Frowning, he marches up to the bartender. "What the eff, dude? Why are all the drinks on me?" , the circle angrily demands of the bartender.
The bartender replies, "hey, don't get mad, circle buddy. It's just ... you're round!"
A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won't admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.
While she's standing at the sink, he stands about six steps behind her and says, "What's for dinner, dear?"
When there's no answer, he steps a few steps closer and repeats the question.
Again there's no response, so he moves right to his wife's shoulder and asks: "What's for dinner, dear?"
At this his wife turns around angrily and says, "For the third time, sausages!"
A man is returning to his seat in the movie theater after visiting the toilets.
"Excuse me," he says to the lady sitting beside the aisle, "Did I step on your foot when I went out?"
"Yes you did," says the lady angrily.
"Oh good," says the man, "that means I'm in the right row."
A man is in diner with his two young boys...
The waitress comes to the table to take their order. The man says, "I'll have the chicken fried steak."
She jots that down and asks the oldest boy "What would you like, sweetie?"
The boys answers, "I'll have a god damn cheeseburger."
The father angrily backhands the boy.
The waitress asks the other boy, "What would you like, hon?"
The boy says, "Well... I don't know. But you can bet your sweet ass I ain't gonna have a god damn cheeseburger!"
A Man gets shipwrecked
He washes up ashore on an Australian beach. Unconscious, he's taken to a hospital, and wakes up the next day. Upon waking up, he notices how filthy the hospital is. The conditions are really terrible.
A nurse comes to check on him. "This hospital is terrible! You brought Me Here To *Die*?" He exclaims angrily!
"Oh No! We actually brought you here Yester*die*!" The Nurse Replies
A guy shows up at the gates of heaven
St. Peter prepares to welcome the man, but before St. Peter can greet him, the man walks away. A few moments later, the exact same thing happens. This repeats itself a couple of times before St. Peter angrily asks: "For God's sake, are you gonna come in or not!?"
The man, walking away yet again responds: "I can't help it, they're reanimating me!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the angrily furiously puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working angrily yells piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.


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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Infographic September 11, 2015
The 100 Most Expensive Keywords on Google [Infographic]
Keywords are a direct link to online traffic and sales. And bidding on the right keywords on Google can lead to higher rankings and revenue. But the cost of a certain keyword is largely based on how often it's searched, with its price affected and reflected by its current popularity. To see which keywords cost the most, WebpageFX created a very valuable infographic showing the 100 keywords with the highest cost per click in Google AdWords. To see the priciest keywords that search marketing money can buy, Hubspot.com offered a look at the infographic, The 100 Most Expensive Keywords on Google.
The Price of Performance
The infographic showed that top 100 keywords on Google dramatically ranged in price from $670.44 for "San Antonio car wreck attorney" down to $265.60 for "Michigan accident attorney." As you can see, many of the priciest keywords were related to legal services.
Adding Up How Keywords Rank by Category
In addition to listing the priciest keywords, the infographic analyzed how they fell into six key categories. The vast majority of the keywords were related to legal services. This can be attributed to the infographic's featured finding that 75% of people seeking attorneys use online sources. See which six categories commanded the costliest keywords:
78% were connected to legal
8% linked to water damage
6% clicked with insurance
4% were relevant drugs & alcohol
3% led to online education
1% resulted in business services
Location Pays Off
Interestingly, the graphic showed that 58% of the costliest keywords were location-sensitive. It revealed that the most targeted states were California, Colorado, Texas, and Florida.
To see which keywords are worth the most, check out the fact-filled infographic.
Infographic via SEMRUSH and WebpageFX.
Stay up to date on search marketing trends. Contact MDG Advertising today at 561-338-7797 or visit mdgadvertising.com.
MDG Advertising, a full-service advertising agency with offices in Boca Raton and New York, NY, is one of Florida's top branding firms. MDG's core capabilities include advertising, branding, logo design, creative, infographic development, digital marketing, creative media planning and buying, radio and TV advertising, website design and development, email marketing, mobile marketing, content marketing, social media marketing, and SEO. To stay on top of the latest trends in marketing and advertising, contact MDG Advertising today at 561-338-7797.

 Infographic by MDG Advertising

 Infographic by MDG Advertising

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Dr. Qing Liu is a Senior Research Scientist of Plant Metabolic Engineering Group department in CSIRO, Australia. Dr. Qing Liu received his Ph. D from University of Sydney in 1994-1997, Masters in Agri. Sci. from University of Adelaide in 1989-1991. Dr.
Dr. Qing Liu is a Senior Research Scientist of Plant Metabolic Engineering Group department in CSIRO, Australia. Dr. Qing Liu received his Ph. D from University of Sydney in 1994-1997, Masters in Agri. Sci. from University of Adelaide in 1989-1991. Dr. Qing Liu research interests include development of nutritionally improved high-oleic rice bran oil, high-oleic cottonseed oil, developments of canola oil rich in omega-3 long chain polyunsaturated fatty acids, safflower oil with high purity of oleic acid for industrial applications and oil-rich high biomass plants. More recently, Qing is interested in studying long self-life and nutritionally improved cereal grains including rice.
Prof. T M Indra Mahlia is a professor of Department of Mechanical Engineering, in Universiti Tenaga Nasional, Malaysia. Professor Mahlia obtained B. Eng in Mechanical Engineering from Syiah Kuala University, Banda Aceh, Indonesia. He pursued M. Eng. Sc and PhD at the University of Malaya and graduated in 1997 and 2003 respectively. His publications include more than 300 journal articles, proceedings and also research reports, which 165 are ISI and more than 200 are Scopus indexed. His H-index is 35, with total citation of more than 4000. He supervised 12 PhDs and more than 50 Master students. He also involved as a researcher in 4.2 US$ Million project funded by various sources. Prof. T M Indra Mahlia research interest includes in Energy Engineering, Energy and Environment, Energy Systems and Energy Policy.
Dr. Guangwei Ding is an Associate professor of Chemistry Department, Northern State University, USA. Dr. Ding received his Ph.D from University of Massachusetts at Amherst, Environmental/Analytical Chemistry in 2002, Imperial College of Science, Technology and Medicine, University of London, London. U.K., Environmental Technology in 1998. Dr. Ding Identifying the structure of Natural Organic Matter (NOM) by using solid-state C-13 nuclear magnetic resonance and Infrared spectroscopic techniques. Studying the sorption/desorption behavior of hydrophobic organic compounds to natural organic matter. Understanding the hysteresis and the sorption mechanisms by observing the conformation changes of NOM, and characterization of mechanism is critical for fate and risk assessment as sorption can be rate-limiting to biodegradation, bioavailability, and subsurface transport of contaminants. Using radioactive material to identify the vertical distribution of soil erosion. Carbon sequestration associated with global change and policy.
Dr. Jianbo Wang is a Professor in the Department of Plant Biology, Wuhan University, China. Dr. Jianbo Wang received his Ph.D in Systematic and Evolutionary Botany, Wuhan University, P. R. China in 1996, Ms in Plant Cell Biology, Wuhan University, China in 1987. Dr. Jianbo Wang research interests include Plant Developmental Biology, Genomic Evolution in Polyploid Plants and he is interested in gene expression and regulation analysis of rice developing ovule, embryo and endosperm.
Dr. Sheng Teng is a Professor in the Institute of Plant Physiology & Ecology, Chinese Academy of Sciences, China. He received his Ph.d in College of Life Science, Zhejiang University, Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province in 2002, M.S., College of Life Science, Hangzhou University, Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province in 1998. Dr. Sheng Teng research interests include research on Plant Physiology & Ecology, Rice Research, Plant Genome, Plant Growth Regulation, Breeding Science.


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Recurrent inks PPA with Anheuser-Busch, Energy Transfer for 350MW Texas project
By Conor Ryan
Recurrent Energy, the wholly owned subsidiary of Canadian Solar, has signed a power purchase agreement with Anheuser-Busch and Dallas-based oil and gas pipeline company, Energy Transfer. These two separate 15-year PPAs will see energy generated by the Maplewood and Maplewood 2 project in Pecos County, Texas sent to Anheuser-Busch and Energy Transfer, respectively.
The PPA signed with Anheuser-Busch is for 310MW of PV capacity, while the PPA for Energy Transfer is for 40MW. This PPA stands as Energy Transfer's first-ever dedicated solar contract. The PPA signed with Anheuser-Busch is the seventh largest C&I power purchase agreement for solar energy signed in the entire world to date, according to data supplied by Bloomberg New Energy Finance. The latter also represents the US beverage industry's largest single purchase of solar energy.
Once completed in 2021, the Maplewood solar project will power the equivalent of 55,000 households.
Ingrid De Ryck, vice president, procurement and sustainability at Anheuser-Busch, said: "We take immense pride in being good stewards of the environment and are excited to announce that by 2021 our entire portfolio of beers will be brewed by using 100 percent renewable electricity from solar and wind power. Through our new partnership with Recurrent Energy, we will be able to complete one of our 2025 US sustainability goals four years ahead of schedule."
Dr. Shawn Qu, chairman at Canadian Solar, said: "Corporations are increasingly purchasing solar energy for a variety of reasons—sometimes environmental—but cost is always a key consideration. Insiders of the renewable energy industry know well that solar PPAs often help corporations lock in low-cost electricity prices to power their operations. However, it is rewarding in 2019 to also see valued partners from the traditional energy sector like Energy Transfer view a purchase of electricity from high quality Canadian Solar assets like the Maplewood 2 project as a financially sensible decision. We are honored to partner with our respected colleagues at Energy Transfer on this marquee transaction."
David Coker, vice president of power optimisation at Energy Transfer, said: "The PPA made economic sense for us. We are always focused on operating our facilities safely and efficiently, and while we mainly rely on electrical energy powered by natural gas, we do use a diversified mix of energy sources when it makes economic sense to do so. In fact, the percentage of electrical energy we purchase that originates from solar and wind sources is now more than 20% on any given day with the addition of this contract with Recurrent Energy."
Large Scale Solar USA 2023
Large Scale Solar Summit is coming back to the US after a sell-out year in 2022! Designed as a meeting place for deal-making, we will not only discuss the most up to date topics and technologies but will also provide varied networking platforms so that developers, EPCs, manufacturers, asset owners, and investors can connect with possible clients and partners. Join us in Texas to meet with the top players in the industry and expand your network as business booms.
PV ModuleTech U.S. Special Edition
Join us in Napa to unlock the key to reliable PV module supply to the U.S. market in 2023 & 2024. We'll also be gathering the main players in the US solar market for some wine tasting!
anheuser-busch, canadian solar, recurrent energy, texas, us, usa


Download Book Conversations About Being A Teacher in PDF format. You can Read Online Conversations About Being A Teacher here in PDF, EPUB, Mobi or Docx formats.
Highly readable and engaging, this unique resource helps all educators fine-tune their expectations for the teaching profession.
Are you considering or already training to become a teacher? Do you want to know more about the variety of types of training on offer? Do you need reassurance that you are on the right path? Or would you just like to see how others cope with their teacher training? If so, this lively book, built on the experience of thousands of people just like you, is exactly what you need. Written by experts with backgrounds in teaching, supporting teacher learning and researching teacher training, and based on a major study of nearly 5,000 beginner teachers, it provides an authentic insight into what lies ahead when becoming a teacher. The book, which incorporates extensive conversations with large numbers of student and newly qualified teachers, will also serve as the ideal course companion when undertaking your Initial Teacher Training programme. It includes practical ideas and strategies for coping with various aspects of life as a student teacher, for example, dealing with pupil behaviour, building and managing relationships with mentors and other teachers in schools, and finding and obtaining a first teaching post.
This book provides scholars, teacher educators, as well as reflective school leaders and teachers with valuable insights into what it is to be a teacher in the 21st century. It does so by presenting original research based on a study of several New Zealand schools between 2013 and 2015, and in particular, a focussed study of four of those schools in 2015. The book draws on the findings to take stock of some of the central manifestations of 21st-century learning, especially digital pedagogies and the collaborative practices associated with teaching and learning in modern learning environments. It reflects on the mental shifts and sometimes-painful transitions teachers and leaders are making and experiencing as they enter uncharted waters, moving from traditional classroom practices to ones that emphasise collaboration, teamwork and the radical de-centring of their personal roles. It outlines a blueprint for understanding how to navigate these changes, and describes and explains the nature of pedagogical shifts apparent in digital classrooms and modern learning environments.
If you had to name the defining characteristic of a "good teacher," what trait would you suggest? Would you start ticking off the skills listed on the evaluation framework used in your district? Or would you think back to your own experiences and consider the most memorable educators you've known? In this collection of articles from Educational Leadership, the authors—all educators and educators of educators—discuss what it means to be a good teacher. They include tips and strategies for everything from connecting with students to planning the teaching day, reflections on the profession as a whole, and descriptions of practices that can make the teaching experience more effective and more rewarding. This enhanced e-book includes 11 video clips from educators, including Jeffrey Benson, Baruti K. Kafele, and Robyn R. Jackson, discussing why they became teachers, what it means to be a leader of educators, and more. Please note that only devices and software that support EPUB3 and the MP4 video format can play the video clips. Check the customer support area of the website for the specific device or software to determine its compatibility.
This collection of essays lays bare cutting-edge ideas - and the ensuing dilemmas - in teacher education. Through the agency of -conversation- leading educational thinkers grapple with one another as they debate ideas within particular strands of teacher education knowledge, and pose provocative questions to the reader. This innovative design compels the reader to engage in and further the dialogue, and in doing so to contribute, situate, and examine his or her own position."
This gem of a workbook expands on 33 affirmations and reflection questions to help readers establish goals, maintain a positive perspective, and remain committed to excellence.


The clashing of swords, the ring of steel on steel, the beat of boots upon the ground as the screams of battle rage…all create a rush of adrenaline within one's soul. Men in kilts with the colors of their plaids flashing about as they engage in the deadly dance of the broadsword fighting that fills a man's heart with chivalry and a woman's head with the fancies of romance. The art of swordsmanship has been a fascination for every generation for the last millennium. A skilled display of ancient combat captivates and entertains audiences like nothing else.
We are the Wolves of Dunvegan: the fighting element of the Renaissance Scots Living History Association. We demonstrate the European Sword arts of the medieval, renaissance and 17th century. You might see everything from fast and furious basket-hilt swordfights, elegant and graceful rapier duels to melee fights that have the power to keep you on the edge of your seat.
We perform weapons demonstrations as well, in which we educate the public on the true history of swordsmanship and dispel many of the myths that Hollywood has created. Using our arsenal of rapiers, broadswords, claymores and other forms of assorted weaponry, we demonstrate the more practical application of these sophisticated instruments. You may discover it is a much different state of affairs than the misconceptions of romantic swashbuckling.
In addition to performing choreographed fights, we engage in real combat using modified shinai (bamboo weaponry). At festivals, we are able to teach patrons the proper use of a blade and give lessons in realistic combat with these practice weapons. We are always looking for new recruits and are happy to share our knowledge.


Despite several high-profile CO-related aircraft accidents in recent years, very few pilots carry any sort of carbon monoxide detector when they fly. Those few who do mostly rely on inexpensive chemical spot detectors that are almost worthless. The carbon monoxide detectors we sell at AeroMedix are the most sensitive units available and repeatedly win awards from various organizations for their quality and effectiveness.
Read Mike Busch's article about the use of Carbon Monoxide Detectors in your cockpit.


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William H. Mosberg, Jr.
1966, San Juan
William H. Mosberg, Jr. was born on August 22, 1920 in Baltimore, Maryland. His early education was in Baltimore public schools. He graduated from high school in 1936 at the age of 15, in the midst of the Depression and there was no money for college. He enrolled in business college from which he graduated within 1 year with a proficiency in shorthand and typing both of which he continues to use regularly. After working in an iron foundry for 1 year, he began his premedical studies at the University of Maryland. After graduating from the University of Maryland School of Medicine, internship and residency training were completed at the University of Maryland Hospital. He completed the neurosurgical residency program at that institution in 1949 including 2 years as a captain in the Army of the United States in the European Theater of Operations. There followed 1 year in neurology at the National Hospital, Queen's Square; brief periods at the Radcliffe Infirmary, Oxford in neurosurgery; Hospital de la Salpetriere, Paris in neurology; and then Mercy Hospital, Loyola University Clinics, Chicago in neurosurgery. After 1 year of research in neurophysiology at the Illinois Neuropsychiatric Institute, Chicago and the Department of Electrical Engineering, Champaign-Urbana, he returned to the faculty of the University of Maryland School of Medicine and the private practice of neurosurgery in Baltimore. Through the intervening 4 decades, Dr. Mosberg has fulfilled many committee assignments; only committee chairmanships and elected offices will be mentioned. He was chairman of the Editorial Committee of the Congress of Neurological Surgeons (CNS) and editor-in-chief of Clinical Neurosurgery for the 1960, 1961, and 1962 meetings. In 1963 he was the first chairman of a CNS Socio-Economics Committee. In that capacity, he initiated the Neurosurgical Fee Survey publication for which a CNS Distinguished Service Award was subsequently granted. He was appointed chairman of the Scientific Program Committee for the 1964 annual meeting. Therefore, the completion of the Neurosurgical Fee Survey was turned over to Dr. Edward Bishop, the recipient of the Distinguished Service Award. Dr. Mosberg was elected president of the Congress of Neurological Surgeons for the 1965-1966 year. It was customary at that time for the newly elected president to give his presidential address upon assuming office. A major event in United States neurosurgery at that time was the recent proclamation by Dr. Frank Mayfield as president of the then Harvey Cushing Society that that organization should be the "spokesman for neurosurgery." Dr. Mosberg's presidential address upon assuming office had to do with the decision of the Executive Committee in this matter and was entitled "The Affirmation of a Proclamation." Subsequently, he represented the CNS on the Ad Hoc Liaison Committee to formulate the reorganization of our specialty. It was in this decade that United States neurosurgery became intensely involved in international neurosurgery. A "visiting professor" type of program involving the Christian Medical College, Vellore, South India, was funded by the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation, Department of Health, Education and Welfare. This office also funded programs in Pakistan and Egypt. Dr. Mosberg was a articipant visiting India, Pakistan, and Egypt prior to and again immediately following his tenure as president of the Congress. He was appointed representative of the Congress to CARE MEDICO in 1962 and served in that capacity as neurosurgical advisor to CARE-MEDICO for the next 2 decades when such overseas activities by CARE-MEDICO were terminated. During those years, he visited and participated in overseas programs in South Vietnam, Malaysia, Ceylon, Indonesia, Afghanistan, Tunisia, Algeria, Jordan, Dominican Republic, and Haiti. From 1972 to 1980 he was chairman of the Professional Committee and a member of the Executive Committee and Corporate Board of CARE-MEDICO. He had served in 1964 on the CNS Ad Hoc Head Injury Nomenclature Committee. In 1966 as president of the CNS he appointed (and served on) the committee producing a Glossary of Neurosurgical Operative Procedure Nomenclature. As president of the CNS he proposed and implemented the concept of the Distinguished Service Award of the CNS, and also proposed and appointed a committee to assemble the publication Utilization Guidelines, for which Dr. Walter Lockhart received the Distinguished Service Award. During his year as president of the CNS he proposed and developed plans to implement the formation of the Foundation for International Education in Neurological Surgery. During the 1965 to 1966 year, the Executive Committee of the CNS decreed that the president of the CNS should give his presidential address at the end of his term in office. For his second presidential address, Dr. Mosberg discussed his proposal for an international educational foundation. There has been continuing involvement in international neurosurgical education and in socio-economic affairs as they relate to neurosurgery. He served as secretary of the Foundation for International Education in Neurological Surgery from the inception of that organization in 1969 until he resigned from that office in 1991. He was appointed chairman of the Committee on Neurosurgical Education of the World Federation of Neurosurgical Societies in 1973 and editor of Federation News in 1982, and served in both capacities until he resigned in 1989. He has also served as chairman of a number of committees of the American Association of Neurological Surgeons (AANS) including International Affairs Committee (1976-1981), Committee on Foreign Neurosurgical Training (1976-1982), Adjunct Committee on corresponding Members (1975-1984), Coordinating Committee (1972-1973), and By Laws Committee (1974-1975). In the area of socio-economic affairs, he has been a member of the Joint Socio-Economic Committee (subsequently the Joint Council of State Neurosurgical Societies) since its inception in 1972 and chairman of its International Committee from 1975 until his resignation in 1990. He has been editor for Socio-economic Perspectives of Neurosurgery since 1978. From 1967 to 1969, he was Chairman of an ad hoc committee of the CNS to effect affiliation between the Congress of Neurological Surgeons and the Interurban Neurosurgical Society. He has been a member of the Board of Directors of the Interurban Neurosurgical Society since 1969. Dr. Mosberg was a member of the Editorial Board of the Bulletin of the School of Medicine, University of Maryland from 1957 to 1970, and of The American Surgeons from 1963 to 1988. He was elected president of the medical staff of Maryland General Hospital from 1962 to 1964 and held the same office at the University of Maryland Hospital from 1968 to 1969 and at Saint Joseph Hospital from 1976 to 1978. He was elected secretary, Maryland Chapter, of the American College of Surgeons from 1961 to 1966. He served as president of the Medical Alumni Association, University of Maryland from 1975 to 1976. He was a delegate from the American Medical Association to the Third World Conference on Medical Education, New Delhi, India in 1966. Dr. Mosberg's initial faculty appointment at the School of Medicine, University of Maryland was that of instructor in 1952. He advanced up through the ranks until he was appointed clinical professor in 1973. He held that rank until 1990 when he was promoted to emeritus clinical professor. Dr. Mosberg retired from the clinical practice of neurological surgery in 1987, and within a short time, took a full-time job with the Federal government as chief of the branch of the Social Security Administration having to do with surgical disability claims.


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Idiot News Articles
Man arrested over £6k hotline
· Alien Member
COPS in Germany arrested a hotel guest who couldn't pay his £6,000 bill - racked up over 27 HOURS on a phone sex hotline.
Anthony Mueller, 22, admitted he spent more than a day dialling a premium rate number from his hotel room in Leverkusen, west Germany.
He explained: "I was sitting in my hotel at night and suddenly became horny, so I called a sex hotline. I did not keep track of time, it was like a movie. I just kept going."
Even when he had to pause to rub cream on his "chafing penis," the tenacious telephoner stayed connected.
Anthony added: "I was like the energiser bunny."
When hotel workers discovered the horrific bill, they came knocking on his door.
"They said I have good stamina," he explained proudly.
Then the police came knocking.
He was given a drug test and it was discovered he had taken methamphetamines and smoked marijuana - which contributed to his staying power.
Lawyer Burkhard Benecken said: "The hotel exhibited substantial negligence. If you do not limit guests from accessing high-cost sex hotlines, then you are being careless and should be responsible for any damages."
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1709965.ece
Cinderella Sep 19, 2008


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Solida Biotech is pleased to announce its state of the art, next generation range of benchtop bioreactors and fermenters in the Bio Bench Pro Advanced series as well as the user-friendly Bio Bench Compact version. All Bio Bench bioreactors and fermenters integrate modern, open-source industrial technologies with a unique concept of intelligent modularity, expandability, and robustness. All Bio Bench bioreactors and fermenters feature industrial design with stainless a steel front, back, and utility panel. All modules are connected to the master controller through industry standard Ethernet communications protocols, while the modular design enables users to configure the systems according to own lab space needs within the most compact footprint.
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It's been about a month since the last Skrillex Selects list, and when you think about it… it has been a really busy month for the OWSLA don. An album release, multiple shows, collaborations and a compilation album, it's absolutely mental that he hasn't driven himself into a state of disarray much like Avicii.
The six-month-old track sounds like it would be just up Skrillex's alley, playing along quite nicely with the offbeat rhythm and Latin vibe that Skrillex has helped to cultivate in Jack Ü. Sieren's remix of "Murmurs" is also a brilliant electronic interpretation of the laid back indie dance original from Hundred Waters.
Other notable tracks are Brodinski's "US" and Lapalux's "Don't Mean A Thing," the latter of which is an awesome, chilled out electro tune.
"Rubber" by Swick & Lucid, on the other hand, has some of the most disturbing samples I've ever heard in a track. It's definitely not for me, but hey, some of you guys might like it.


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Council hammers out details of fire merger agreement
Oct 12, 2010 | News |
Danedri Thompson
Gardner City Council members and Johnson County Fire District No. 1 board members hammered out details of an agreement that would consolidate fire services of the two entities and lease the services to city residents.
During a Monday evening work session, Gardner council learned that a proposed termination clause in the contract that would allow the return of city assets if the fire services agreement fell short of expectations would not be possible. A decision to move forward with the agreement likely means the city will permanently end its fire services and will one day consolidate fully with the fire district.
That was always the plan when consolidation discussions started. But Gardner citizens currently pay less in taxes for fire services than fire district residents.
Until the tax rates are similar, the entities devised a proposal in which Gardner would essentially lease fire services.
City administrator Stewart Fairburn compared signing the contract for services to diving off a cliff, because there's likely no turning back.
"You sort of look at your cliff, and make your choice," Fairburn said.
Under the proposed contract, the fire district would issue bonds to make debt payments for Gardner's fire station on 183rd Street and an aerial truck owned by the city. The original contract would allow the city to let bonds to repurchase the aerial truck and the fire house if the consolidation didn't go as planned, but Fairburn informed the council he had learned that wouldn't be allowed by bond counsel.
Once the debt is serviced, the fire district will fully and legally own the aerial truck and the fire station. Gardner residents have been servicing the debt on both for a number of years.
"It's odd that we'll give them their equipment," Fairburn said. "But it's still serving the people who paid for it."
Other city equipment would also be given to the fire district.
The contract also requires that eight city public safety employees, including the fire chief, Rob Kirk, be hired by the fire district.
The proposed contract stipulates that average call out time for the fire district will not exceed five minutes, and that the aerial truck remain stationed in Gardner unless Gardner council approves a move.
Fairburn said the city would save approximately $50,000 each year for fire protection under the proposed three year contract. The proposal stipulates that the city would pay $1.04 million in 2011 for fire services; $1.08 million in 2012 and $1.1 million in 2013.
The contract would be renewable on a yearly basis for three years, and council members requested that it include maximum rates of increase. The fees for services would be paid in 12 equal installments over the course of each year.
Although the contract proposes a start date of Jan. 1, 2011, Gardner Public Safety Chief Ken Francis said he'd like the changes to occur as quickly as possible.
"The quicker we can get started on that transition, the better it will be," Francis said. He said the employees volunteering to leave Gardner Public Safety for the fire district are ready to go.
"And employees are ready for them to go," Francis said.
The fire district plans to let bonds in order to start paying debt on the fire station and the city's aerial truck in November.
Council members briefly debated setting a definitive date at the end of the contract for full consolidation, but opted not to specify that in the contract.
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← The bell tolls for us all
An ice-free Arctic summer looms ever closer →
Climate action: the world is doing more than we think
We can rest assured, Australia is not ahead of the pack on climate measures [28 August 2012 | Peter Boyer]
Producing 14.7 terawatt-hours in the first six months of 2011, Germany's solar generation system is now responsible for 4.5 per cent of the country's power needs. PHOTO ECO EVOLUTION
I'll concede one point to the climate sceptics. There's something surreal in the whole debate about man-made climate change.
Last week Australia's Climate Commission released a report describing the efforts of governments to limit how much carbon dioxide we put into the air, so that our planet's climate might be prevented from heating to unendurable levels.
Such a thing has never happened in all of human history. We've had doomsday scenarios since people first looked up to the sky. Many a scientist or storyteller has speculated about what might happen if worlds collide or the Martians invade.
But this is new, hard to get the head around. For the first time, national governments and scientific institutions have come to accept a global problem that's real and present, as distinct from the prehistory or fiction we've been used to.
Our climate is changing, but so is our human world. The Climate Commission's report brought together a myriad of emission-cutting actions around the world, and while it acknowledges big shortcomings in the global response, the sum total of so many actions is encouragingly large.
"Momentum is growing," says the report, signed by the chief commissioner, Tim Flannery, and commissioners Roger Beale and Gerry Hueston. Among its findings:
• There's global agreement that we need to act urgently to limit greenhouse gas emissions to avoid the worst impacts of warming. It's also accepted that countries will need to become more ambitious, so that emissions reductions accelerate up to and beyond 2020.
• Ninety countries representing 90 per cent of the global economy have committed to cut emissions. In the absence of a full global treaty, success will depend on national efforts.
• Australia is a major player on the global scene. We're the 15th-largest carbon emitter, larger than about 180 other countries, and one of the 20 countries contributing 75 per cent of the world's greenhouse gas emissions.
• We're also the largest emitter per person in the developed world. The average Australian produces emissions nearly five times that of the average Chinese person and 16 times that of the average person in India.
• Our influence abroad will depend on how successfully we manage things at home. Domestic success will encourage other countries and build momentum for necessary deeper cuts in the future. Failure would damage both our international reputation and the global effort generally.
• New technology isn't essential to making progress — energy efficiency can deliver 65 per cent of emissions needed by 2035 — but investment in renewable fuel and power technologies has risen sixfold since 2004, with China and Korea among world leaders.
• Australia's national interest demands that we tackle climate change. The sooner we reduce emissions the cheaper the reductions become and the greater the prospect of future prosperity for Australia from clean energy research and development.
The report likened the economic impact of delaying acting on climate to putting on the brakes in a car: "the earlier you apply them the more smoothly you will stop, the later you leave it the more disruptive the stop and the greater the risk that you will stop too late."
As one of the world's richest countries, both collectively and at the individual level, Australia's success or failure will count for a great deal. The report says that our actions to cut emissions, including our carbon price scheme, are being closely watched by both developed and developing nations.
We need have no fear for our economy, says the report. Between 2000 and 2008, the growth rate of all the world's 34 most developed national economies was higher than the rate of growth in their carbon dioxide emissions.
Over the same period one of these countries, Sweden, cut greenhouse gas emissions by more than 10 per cent while its economy outperformed the seven biggest OECD economies.
Australia's climate effort to date rates as no more than average on the global stage, according to three recent studies cited in the report. Our emission targets are broadly comparable to those of the US, Japan, Europe and China.
If investment in renewable technology is a guide, we're hardly leading the pack. Global investment in renewable energy rose by 17 per cent to around $250 billion in 2011 — more than six times the level in 2004 .
If you compare available solar energy resources, Australia's worst region (southwest Tasmania) is still better than Germany's best, yet Germany is the world's largest producer of energy from solar panels, with a generating capacity from installed panels 20 times that of Australia.
For all this, we continue to hear loud protests that Australia is moving too quickly, assuming too much, in putting its modest climate policies into place. The debate is clouding what ought to be a crystal-clear, bipartisan national vision.
Gerry Hueston, who had 34 years of experience in big business, most recently as BP Australasia president, before joining the Commission, believes the main obstacle to action is not apathy, but uncertainty.
If we could only stop and listen we might catch the sound commonsense in his message: "We all know we cannot live unsustainably. We must stop attacking each other and realise we are on the same side. We need to focus on what we agree on."
• One of the great analysts of modern thought, Canadian intellectual John Ralston Saul, was in Hobart yesterday to give a public lecture on "the reinvention of the world". If you weren't able to be present, a video will be posted on Channel UTAS.
This entry was posted in carbon, carbon emissions and targets, carbon tax, Climate Commission, climate politics, contrarians, economic activity, education, emissions trading, energy, fossil fuels, international politics, organisations and events, renewable energy, solar and tagged carbon, carbon emissions and targets, carbon tax, China, Climate Commission, climate politics, contrarians, economic activity, education, emissions trading, energy, fossil fuels, Germany, Gerry Hueston, international politics, John Ralston Saul, organisations and events, renewable energy, Roger Beale, solar, Sweden, Tim Flannery. Bookmark the permalink.


This collaborative climate change adaptation project involves a team of biodiversity scientists and policy analysts from the University of Alberta; Miistakis Institute; Alberta Innovates Technology Futures; the Government of Alberta, and the Alberta Biodiversity Monitoring Institute.
The team assessed hundreds of wild species, ranging from prairie flowers to backyard birds, to devise proactive strategies for preventing or reducing harm from climate change. The group's findings expand the data already held by the Alberta Biodiversity Monitoring Institute, which measures and reports on the status and trends of hundreds of species and habitats at permanent terrestrial and wetland monitoring sites across the province.
Adapt-action is an online tool developed by the Miistakis Institute as part of the Biodiversity Management and Climate Change Adaptation (BMCCA) Project, led by the Alberta Biodiversity Monitoring Institute. It was created for Alberta municipalities to help them identify and understand the potential implications of climate change for their communities and respond proactively.
View all final ABMI reports here and all interim reports here.


On 19 December 2018, ESMA launched three consultations concerning sustainable finance initiatives under the European Commission's Sustainable Action Plan and sought views on the integration of sustainability risks and factors into the relevant directives.
On 23 July 2018, the European Securities and Markets Authority (ESMA) published the decisions of the Board of Supervisors (all dated 11 July 2018) to fine five banks for issuing credit ratings without authorisation, in breach of the Credit Rating Agencies Regulation (CRAR).
ESMA has issued a second Q&A on the Benchmarks Regulation (BMR) in less than two months that will be of interest to investment funds.


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Eklampsie (z řeckého  – původně znamenající ozáření, přeneseně náhlou změnu) neboli božec je život ohrožující komplikace v těhotenství, pro kterou jsou charakteristické tonicko-klonické křeče. Obvykle nastává u ženy, u které již nastala preeklampsie, ale není to nutnou podmínkou a může k ní dojít i bez předchozích varovných symptomů, naopak jen některá preeklampsie přejde v eklampsii.

Léčba
Eklampsie vyžaduje okamžitý zásah, který spočívá v potlačení křečí, snižování zvýšeného krevního tlaku a rychlém provedení (nebo dokončení) porodu.

Potlačení křečí se řeší síranem hořečnatým nebo jiným vhodným antikonvulzivem, pro snížení krevního tlaku je používán hydralazin nebo labetalol.

K porodu je přikročeno i v situaci, kdy je ještě plod nezralý, protože stav eklampsie představuje akutní ohrožení pro plod i pro těhotnou ženu. Pokud rodička už není v pokročilé fázi porodu, provádí se porod obvykle císařským řezem.

Výskyt
Eklampsie je častější u prvorodiček a u těhotných s cévními problémy (vysoký krevní tlak, cukrovka, nefróza). Riziko také zvyšuje větší placenta (tedy například i vícečetné těhotenství, případně zásněť hroznová).

Odkazy

Reference

Externí odkazy

 Eklampsie na porodnice.cz

Urgentní stavy
Těhotenství

pl:Nadciśnienie tętnicze w ciąży#Rzucawka

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


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UT Austin Recognized with Higher Education Excellence in Diversity Award
The University of Texas at Austin is among the recipients of the first-ever Higher Education Excellence in Diversity (HEED) award from INSIGHT Into Diversity magazine. The university will be featured along with 47 other recipients in the December 2012 issue of the magazine. Schools were selected based on initiatives to promote diversity, including those focused on race, ethnicity, gender, disabilities, veteran status and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities.
The University of Texas at Austin is among the recipients of the first-ever Higher Education Excellence in Diversity (HEED) award from INSIGHT Into Diversity magazine.
The university will be featured along with 47 other recipients in the December 2012 issue of the magazine. Schools were selected based on initiatives to promote diversity, including those focused on race, ethnicity, gender, disabilities, veteran status and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities.
"Given our global society, it is imperative the education of our future leaders includes the benefits of a culturally and intellectually diverse campus environment," said Gregory J. Vincent, vice president for diversity and community engagement. "The University of Texas at Austin is strongly committed to fostering a diverse and inclusive campus that promotes a robust exchange of ideas, cross-racial and cross-cultural understanding, and the opportunity for all to participate. The HEED award reflects the strength of our commitment and success in enriching the campus culture."
Upon taking office in 2006, President Bill Powers made diversity one of his four strategic priorities. Since that time, he created the Division of Diversity and Community Engagement, which hosts a number of broad initiatives that support the recruitment and retention of a diverse faculty, staff and student body as well as increasing the academic success of diverse student populations, including first-generation college students, students of color, students with disabilities and students in the LGBT community. Every college and school at The University of Texas at Austin has undertaken diversity initiatives that have created numerous pathways for diverse student populations to participate in a rich academic and social life at the university. As a result, the university is one of the most diverse public research universities in the nation.
The HEED award was established to serve as a reminder that diversity and inclusion must remain priorities in higher education. For more information about the award, visit the INSIGHT into Diversity website.


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Rockwell è una città degli Stati Uniti d'America situata nella Carolina del Nord, nella Contea di Rowan.

Altri progetti

Collegamenti esterni

Comuni della Carolina del Nord


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Dolomiti Energia Trento 75
Dominion Bilbao Basket 80
Local time: 20:30 PALATRENTO
Bilbao hangs on to win its third on the road
Dominion Bilbao Basket remained undefeated on the road, holding on to 75-80 win over Dolomiti Energia Trento on Wednesday. Both teams now hold 3-2 record, in a share of a three-team tie with JSF Nanterre in the first place of Group A. Bilbao led by as many as 16 points in the fourth quarter, but Trento went on a 19-2 run to grab a slim lead. But a triple from Alex Mumbru, baskets from Clevin Hannah, and couple of defensive plays secured the victory for the visitors. Hannah led Bilbao with 22 points. Mumbru scored 11, Axel Hervelle collected 10 points and 7 rebounds, while Shaw James had 6 rebounds and 5 blocked shots in victory. Jamarr Sanders had 14 points for Trento. Julian Wright had 12 points and 10 rebounds, Trent Lockett also scored 12, while Filippo Baldi Rossi and Giuseppe Poeta each scored 11 in the losing effort.
Sanders scored on consecutive possessions, including a triple for 7-0 lead, but Mumbru buried a three on the other end, sparking a 0-7 run for Bilbao. Sanders and Hannah traded triples, before put-backs from Wright and Davide Pascolo gave Trento 15-10. But Alex Suarez hit a triple for Bilbao, and a pair of baskets from Alex Rouff late in the first quarter helped cut the deficit to 21-19 after 10 minutes. Poeta hit from downtown for the hosts early in the second, and Trento had 26-21, but couple buckets from Giorgos Bogris, and a three-pointer from Raul Lopez tied things at 28-28, before Hannah's triple capped a 2-10 run, giving Bilbao lead. A three-point play from Hervelle and a triple from Dairis Bertans helped made it 32-41. Lockett ended the spurt with a three-pointer, but Bertans scored his seventh consecutive point, and Hervelle added a three-pointer that put Bilbao up 36-46 at halftime.
Lockett and Wright helped the hosts get within 42-47, but Lopez hit from long range, and James had a put-back to re-open double-digit margin. Poeta hit his second three of the night for the hosts, and Lockett helped cut the deficit to 48-52, but Hannah and Hervelle put together a 0-7 run, to make it 48-59. In the final minute of the quarter, Baldi and Hannah trade triples, and Hannah made it 52-65 in the opening minute of the fourth quarter. A three-pointer from Ruoff extended it to 55-71, as Bilbao was in control of the game. However, Sanders and Wright scored to give the hosts slim hope, and triples from Baldi and Dominique Sutton cut it to 66-71 with 4 minutes to go. Hannah snapped an 11-0 run with free throws, but Poet sparked another Trento's run, Baldi hit another three, and Wright made a put-back, giving Trento 74-73 advantage with 2 minutes left to play. After Bilbao's timeout, Mumbru answered with a three-pointer, and after Wright split free throws, Hannah made it 75-78. Mumbru blocked Poeta's attempt, and after Hannah made both free throws, James also blocked Poeta, sealing the deal.
Eurocupbasketball.com
Referees: SHULGA, BORIS; OBRADOVIC, PETAR; LOPES, LUIS
Attendance: 1715 (Tentative)
Dolomiti Energia Trento 21 15 16 23
Dominion Bilbao Basket 19 27 18 16
3 POETA, GIUSEPPE 24:45 11 2/5 2/6 1/2 1 1 4 2 4 2 3 2 3
4 SANDERS, JAMARR 30:44 14 3/5 2/5 2/2 3 3 3 2 7
7 PASCOLO, DAVIDE 21:07 5 1/3 3/3 4 5 9 2 2 4 3 15
8 BALDI ROSSI, FILIPPO 23:10 11 1/1 3/4 2 2 1 1 1 1 12
10 FORRAY, TOTO 10:09 2 1/1 0/2 2 1 3 1 5 1
11 LOFBERG, JOHAN 2:38 1 1 -2
12 FLACCADORI, DIEGO 9:14 2 1/1 0/2
23 SUTTON, DOMINIQUE 22:02 6 1/1 1/1 1/3 2 2 1 2 2 5 4 6
24 LOCKETT, TRENT 22:46 12 4/9 1/1 1/2 2 3 5 1 4 1 1 5 3 6
25 LECHTHALER, LUCA 4:16 1 1 1
30 WRIGHT, JULIAN 29:09 12 5/14 0/6 2/4 4 6 10 5 1 3 3 2 5 12
Team 5 5 5
Head coach: BUSCAGLIA, MAURIZIO
Dominion Bilbao Basket
5 JAMES, SHAWN 26:01 4 2/3 0/1 0/4 4 2 6 1 1 5 2 2 9
7 RUOFF, ALEX 14:35 7 2/3 1/2 1 1 3 1 2 2 8
8 BORG, TOBIAS DNP - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
9 BERTANS, DAIRIS 23:24 7 1/5 1/6 2/2 1 2 3 2 1 1 1 2 4
10 MENDIA, BORJA DNP - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
11 HANNAH, CLEVIN 26:52 22 2/4 4/8 6/6 2 2 4 1 1 2 2 20
13 BOGRIS, GEORGIOS 14:03 4 2/4 2 2 -2
15 MUMBRU, ALEX 30:15 11 1/3 2/7 3/4 2 2 4 2 2 4 1 1 3 4 8
17 HERVELLE, AXEL 24:41 10 3/5 1/2 1/1 3 4 7 2 1 3 1 3 4 14
20 TODOROVIC, DEJAN 9:45 2 1/1 0/1 2 2 2 -1
31 LOPEZ, RAUL 15:01 8 1/3 2/2 1 2 2 7
33 SUAREZ, ALEX 15:23 5 1/1 2/2 3 3 1 2 3 3 7
Team 4 6 10 1 9
Totals 200:00 80 15/31 12/30 14/19 14 22 36 16 4 17 6 4 22 23 83
48.4% 40% 73.7%
Head coach: ALONSO, SITO
BUSCAGLIA, MAURIZIO
"We managed to come back at the end, with high determination and great spirit and changing our defense in the fourth quarter. However, at the end we failed to manage some crucial possessions. Our analysis will now focus on correcting these mistakes. Congratulations to Dominion Bilbao Basket, as they led all game, while we lost too many balls and grabbed too few defensive rebounds, especially at the end of the second quarter and at the beginning of the third."
ALONSO, SITO
"I am very happy with my team. We knew we were playing against a very good team, a lot of very strong teams lost here in PalaTrento, such as EA7 Milan. Congratulations to my team and to Dolomiti Energia Trentino, who played a very good game as well. We missed too many three-point shots at the beginning; this made it difficult for us since they are a very strong team. Afterwards, we managed to defend very well. The most important thing for me was the last two minutes, when we managed to play calm despite the stats not being favorable to us. We gave the ball to our best players and they won the game."
REGULAR SEASON LAST 32 EIGHTHFINALS QUARTERFINALS SEMIFINALS FINALS
JSF Nanterre 101
Telekom Baskets Bonn 78
EWE Baskets Oldenburg 82
Le Mans Sarthe Basket 75
MHP RIESEN Ludwigsburg 81
Herbalife Gran Canaria 76
Grissin Bon Reggio Emilia 67
Enel Basket Brindisi 68
ALBA Berlin 72
ratiopharm Ulm 90
SLUC Nancy 73
Proximus Spirou Charleroi 49
Valencia Basket 65
Umana Reyer Venice 77
CAI Zaragoza 79
Unics Kazan 78
Trabzonspor Medical Park 64
Banvit Bandirma 96
Aris Thessaloniki 84
Steaua CSM EximBank Bucharest 81
Buducnost VOLI Podgorica 75
Zenit St Petersburg 82
Besiktas Sompo Japan Istanbul 58
PAOK Thessaloniki 81
Szolnoki Olaj 83
Avtodor Saratov 79
Galatasaray Odeabank Istanbul 87
Nizhny Novgorod 85
Neptunas Klaipeda 80
Hapoel Bank Yahav Jerusalem 92
Krasny Oktyabr Volgograd 90


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Indian Navy Launches 'Op Vanilla' to Support Relief Operations in Cyclone-Hit Madagascar
Canada Purchases 3,626 New C6A1 FLEX General Purpose Machine Guns
Leonardo Delivers 300th AW139 Helicopter, an MH-139A Grey Wolf Variant, from its Philadelphia Facility
Air Americas
ONR announces successful final Autonomous Helicopter Flight Demonstration
December 15, 2017 DP Press Releases	0 Comments Aurora Flight Sciences, Autonomous Aerial Cargo/Utility System (AACUS), Bell UH-1 Iroquois, Helicopter, Marine Corps Base Quantico, Office of Naval Research (ONR) U.S., U.S. Marine Corps (USMC)
The U.S. Office of Naval Research (ONR) announced successful final autonomous helicopter flight demonstration at Marine Corps Base Quantico, Virginia, part of the Autonomous Aerial Cargo/Utility System (AACUS) program, on Dec. 13.
AACUS is a partnership between the Office of Naval Research and technology company Aurora Flight Sciences and will enable the Marine Corps to rapidly resupply forces on the front lines using cutting-edge technology sponsored by ONR.
The system consists of a sensor and software package that can be integrated into any manned or unmanned rotary-wing aircraft to detect and avoid obstacles (like telephone wires, other vehicles or large ground objects) in unfavorable weather conditions or to facilitate autonomous, unmanned flight. This capability will be a welcome alternative to dangerous convoys or manned aircraft missions in all types of weather.
"This is more than just an unmanned helicopter," said Dr. Walter Jones, ONR executive director. "AACUS is an autonomy kit that can be placed on any rotary-wing platform and provide it with an autonomous capability. Imagine a Marine Corps unit deployed in a remote location, in rough terrain, needing ammunition, water, batteries or even blood."
"With AACUS, an unmanned helicopter takes the supplies from the base, picks out the optimal route and best landing site closest to the warfighters, lands and returns to base once the resupply is complete-all with the single touch of a handheld tablet."
The need for this capability surfaced during Marine Corps operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, experts say. Cargo helicopters and resupply convoys of trucks bringing fuel, food, water, ammunition and medical supplies to the front lines frequently found themselves under fire from adversaries, or the target of roadside bombs and other improvised explosive devices.
AACUS is designed for simple use; an operator with minimal training can call up the supplies needed and order the flights using only an intuitive handheld tablet. During the Dec. 13, demonstration tests at Quantico, a Marine with no prior experience with the technology was given a handheld device and 15 minutes of training.
The Marine was able to quickly and easily program in the supplies needed and the destination, and the helicopters arrived quickly-even autonomously selecting an alternative landing site based on last-second no-fly-zone information added in from the Marine. The demonstration featured a UH-1 "Huey" flying autonomously on multiple missions.
"We've developed this great capability ahead of requirements and it's up to us to determine how to use it," said Lt. Gen. Robert Walsh, commanding general, Marine Corps Combat Development Command. "The young Marines today have grown up in a tech-savvy society, which is an advantage. We've got to keep pushing and moving this technology forward."
Officials say AACUS represents a leap-ahead technology for the Marine Corps and Navy, moving unmanned flights far beyond the current standard, which requires a specialized operator to select a landing site and manually control an unmanned aircraft via remote.
"AACUS gives revolutionary capability to our fleet and force," said Dennis Baker, AACUS program manager. "It can be used as a pilot aid to operate in GPS- and communications-denied arenas or allow fully autonomous flights in contested environments-keeping our pilots and crews out of harm's way."
Warren Duffie Jr., Office of Naval Research
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The survey will be used to improve our understanding of how chemotherapy-induced diarrhea (CID) is treated across different clinical centers and how its management might be improved in the future.
All answers are anonymous and all data will be analyzed and reported in a cumulative fashion. No data will be shared with third parties. All data collection, storage and analysis will be performed in accordance with the EU General Data Protection Directive (GDPR) and the relevant Swedish regulations. The Karolinska Institute is the responsible Personal Data Controller of this project, and the responsible Data Protection Officer (DPO) is the Karolinska Institute's DPO (dataskyddsombud@ki.se). Any complaints regarding the processing of personal data can also be directed to the Swedish Data Protection Authority.
Please contact Maximilian Kordes (maximilian.kordes@ki.se) and Marco Gerling (marco.gerling@ki.se) with any queries you may have regarding this project.