text:
[ Home ] [ Library ] [ Index ] [ Maps ] [ Links ] [ Search ] [ Email ]
A book by Lazar Lukajić:
"Friars and Ustashas Are Slaughtering"
Original title: "Fratri i ustaše kolju"
Published in Belgrade, 2005
by Fund for Genocide Research, Belgrade
Translated by Petar Makara with permission from the author.
Copy edited by Wanda Schindley, PhD.
Testimonies of survivors of Ustasha (Catholic Nazi Croats) atrocities
Motike slaughter survivor - Ljubica Vučić
The testimony was presented on pages 238-248 of the book.
Translator's note: The Catholic fanatics known as Ustashas converted the entire "Independent State of Croatia" (ISC) into a slaughterhouse. Everyone, including children, born as a Serb, a Jew or a Gypsie was marked for death. Entire Serbian villages and entire regions of Bosnia and Krajina were slaughtered or machine-gunned. The survivor talks about the destiny of her village of Motike. It is a Bosnian Serb village near majority Serb populated town of Banja Luka. The author of the book, Mr Lukajić, is born in a nearby village.
All the content in square brackets are translator's. The intention was to make the text easier to understand to the English reader.
The verb tenses, though sometimes inconsistent, are maintained when the speaker is telling the story as if reliving it.
[Beginning of the translation]
[Author, Mr. Lukajić's introduction:] Ljubica Vučič was born in 1929, in Donje Motike in a hamlet of Vasič's [Translator's note: usually the hamlets (neighborhoods) in Bosnia are named for the largest family that lives in it.] She is one of only a handful of surviving witnesses of the mass slaughter which happened on February 7, 1942. She told me her story while sitting in her house in Motike [village]. Her testimonies were never recorded before despite the fact that 60 years have passed since the slaughter.
Despite the time that has passed, she has a good, crystal clear memory of many details as if it happened yesterday. She was a 13-year-old girl at the time of the slaughter, and that is an age when events are easily remembered and kept in memory for a long time to come, and the slaughter was an extraordinary event of her life.
Ljubica is a healthy, energetic and quite intelligent woman. Her testimony is gripping and convincing. There was not a moment that she would resort to exaggeration or self-promotion. She concentrated on the events. Only a few comments would be as if she was talking to herself and not the interviewer. It is a monologue--sparse, short, quiet--interrupted with a sigh as if she were alone.
Her remembering of the names and minute details is exceptional. She was covered with wounds. It is a miracle she remained alive. Destiny!
Here are her recollections:
Testimony of Ljubica Vučić -
put on paper for the first time after 60 years!
Motike slaughter survivor:
Motike slaughter survivor,
Ms. Ljubica Vučić
Photographed by the interviewer-author,
Mr. Lazar Lukajić
"I was born in 1929 in Vasići. That was a pretty hamlet in Donje Motike [village], where Serbs and Croats lived together. Motike [village] is close to Banja Luka and you could easily get to [that] town by foot--in no time--then and now.
"Vasići [hamlet] is close to the road that goes from Banja Luka toward Motike's school. That road then goes through Motike and connects to the road that goes from Banja Luka to Bronzani Majdan [means "Bronze Mine"] and further to Sanski Most [another town in Bosnia]. The roads join some 12 kilometers [8 miles] from Banja Luka. Our houses were on a hill, a bit elevated and facing the road on the right side when you go from Banja Luka toward the school. At that time, it was a macadam [paved road]; now it is asphalt.
"Our soil is good and fertile. Everything grows well--wheat, fruit and vegetables. There are also--I do not know how many--lots of forests. Nowhere is it steep. All the hills have mild slopes.
"In my village, before the war [WWII], we lived nicely. Vasići had no rich people, but there were also no poor ones. Every family lived a decent life--a life of [decent] culture. The town is close, the dirt is fertile, there was plenty of everything both to consume and to sell. Every day you would go to the town to work, to buy or sell something - especially on Tuesdays. That was a market day in Banja Luka--a fair.
"We lived in peace and--I would say--happiness.
"On Sundays and on holidays everyone would dress well, especially the young--young boys and girls. So, they would get together to tell stories, to joke, to sing and dance. That was a common thing to do.
"As a child, I was healthy and happy. Later, when all of that disappeared, I would always remember the happy life in Vasići, in Motike.
"In our village the Serbs and Croats lived in harmony. [Throughout the testimony Ms. Vučić uses a non-derogatory nickname for Croats (Catholics): Šokci].
"The daily life and work was the same for both of us. The only difference was the one relating the faith [to the brand of Christianity]: the Baptism, the church [Croat altar faces West, the Serbian one faces East], [different dates for] Christmas, Easter, [the way] the marriage [ceremony was conducted] and celebration of Saints with Serbs. [The Serbian families would have a Saint protector and celebrate their Saint's Day as a holiday]. Everything else was the same. The [difference in] faith was respected, and no-one was touching [ridiculing] other people's customs. No one was even thinking that other [disrespectful] way. Everyone was minding his/her own business. No-one was bothering anyone. The Serbs and Croats did not intermarry, though. A Serbian woman would marry a Serb and a Croatian one a Croat. As far as I know it was always like that. But our hamlets were intertwined and at some places even houses in the same hamlet. The Serbian hamlets in Donje Motike were [all named after family's last names] Vasići [meaning Vasićs], Maleševići, Todići, Brkovići, Kovačevići and Šešići were completely intermixed with Croatian hamlets of Josipovići, Martinovići, Ljevari and Batkovići.
"Intermingled also were their forests, paths, people and cattle. Only right before the war was there any avoidance of one from the other, but I can hardly remember that. I only remember that there was some cooling off [of the relationship] and it was not as happy and open as before. Most of my memories are tied to my family and other families from Vasići.
"In February 1942 before the slaughter, there were nine houses in Vasići. Those were our house ([my father] Milan's), houses of my uncle Cvijan and uncle Ilija, then the houses of Mikajlo, Lazar, Ilija, Stanko, Djoka and Risto Vasić [for whom the hamlet was named].
"On February 7, 1942, Ustashas slaughtered 77 [seventy seven] members of the Vasić family.
"I am the only survivor of the slaughter in Vasići"
"There were six of us in my [immediate] family: my father Milan, 42 [at the time], my mother Danica ([age] 32), brothers Mladjen (9), Stojić (7) and Miroslav (5), and me. I was 13 [thirteen] years old. Before the war, my father Milan worked as a road worker. With the formation of the Independent State of Croatia, he [lost job and] started working in the Rakovac mine, close to our village. Ustashas killed him there the same day they also slaughtered in our house--on February 7, 1942. So, father was not at home when Ustashas were slaughtering us.
"Actually, when Ustashas came to our house, only my mother Danica and my brothers Mladjen, Stojić and Miroslav were at home. That morning I was visiting a neighbor's house, and they stabbed me all over in that other house.
"That February 7 [1942] was a Saturday. I remember it well, and I know it for sure. We all got up round 7 in the morning. Mother started the fire, and we children got dressed, put our shoes on and washed up. I had my breakfast and soon afterwards went to a neighbor's house--to the house of Mihajlo Vasić. The house was close to ours, on the right side of the road. My mother sent me to get some flour from them.
"While I was approaching Mihajlo's house, I saw old Mihajlo, who was around 60 years old, as he climbed to the roof and was taking snow off his house. There was lots of snow on the roof, and it had to be taken off so it [its weight] did not collapse the roof. The snow was some 1.5 meters [about 5 feet] deep. It fell recently, so it was still fluffy.
"I passed by him and entered his house. I took a dish with flour and immediately started to go back toward my house. You could not simply sit when your mother sent you for something and was waiting for you. As I was near a well that was between Mihajlo's house and ours, someone called me two times.
"'Ljubo [nickname for Ljubica], come back! Ljubo, come back!'
"I do not know who called me. I looked around, but I did not see anyone. I went back to Mihajlo's house. Mihajlo was continuing to take the snow off the roof. Outside, around the house, there is no one. As I entered Mihajlo's house, Mihajlo's family asked me why did I came back. They see that I am holding the dish with flour in my hands. I told them that someone told me to come back. Who told me to come back? I look through the window to see if there is someone outside.
"They stabbed old Mihajlo all through"
"At that instance, three Ustashas [Croatian Catholic Nazis] appeared in front of the house. They have rifles on their shoulders and bayonets [knives] on the rifles. They have helmets on their heads.
"I did not know those people. They were not from our village. All three were young and dressed in crisp new uniforms. We are looking through the window as they are ordering Mihajlo to get down from the roof. He got down. They ask him:
"'Do you have any money? Where are your horses?'
"He says: 'I have no money, and the horses are there - in the stable.'
"An Ustasha says: 'Take off the jacket!'
"Mihajlo had on a short jacket of thick cloth. Old people had that while the young ones would have coats. He takes it off and puts it next to him on the snow. One Ustasha takes the rifle off his shoulder, comes closer to Mihajlo, and pierces him with that knife that is on the rifle - into the back. Mihajlo drops forward on his face. He is twitching and making a gurgling sound just like a slaughtered lamb. While he is lying down, the Ustasha is stabbing him in the back. Only one is doing the stabbing; the other two Ustashas are just watching. They are not moving at all.
"We in the room pile on the windows and watch all of that in fear and confusion. The one [Ustasha] who was doing the stabbing uses his finger to take the blood off the bayonet and licks it [his finger]. Then, all three of them took Mihajlo by the arms and legs and threw him into the uncleaned [not cleared away] snow, off the path. They threw his jacket on top of him. The blood flows on the snow where Mihajlo was lying.
"We have time to see it all. The Ustashas are not in a hurry. They do not even know that we are watching what they are doing. All of us in the room grow pale from fear. We are moving from wall to wall and watching through the windows.
"The old Vaja, Mihajlo's wife, was sick. She was lying on a straw mattress that was put on the floor. As she heard that Ustashas are stabbing Mihajlo in front of the house, she got up and joined us at the window to see. She then went back to the mattress, got pale and died. In a second. She was not showing any signs of life. She was lying on her back--calm. Dead. She said nothing.
"Beside dead Vaja there are seven of us - alive: Mihajlo's daughter-in-law Draginja, wife of his son George, who was 35 years old at the time; her children [son] Boško ([age] 15), [daughter] Ljubica (12), [daughter] Danica (9), [son] Petar (8) and a smaller child, very small child, whose name I do not remember; and me.
"The Ustasha pierces a mother and a child, naked on the snow"
"When I entered Mihajlo's house, [his daughter-in-law] Draginja was bathing her child. She warmed water in a small pan, and she was holding her child with one hand while with the other she would soap and wash it. She was still washing the child when I returned to the house and when Ustashas came. It all lasted only minutes. As Draginja saw how Ustashas stabbed Mihajlo, she started to walk round the house while holding that naked child in her arms. She was the oldest one present [and still alive] in the house, but she was telling us nothing. She is not trying to console us. She is only walking around the house without aim, and she is sighing - as if she lost her mind. The rest of us are also walking fast around the room - just like sheep would walk in a pen as the wolf runs around it watching and trying to find a way to enter and slaughter them all. Boško [a boy, age 15] is looking through the window as if he would jump out somewhere. There is NO way out! Ustashas are standing next to the window. The doors of the room are opened. We see both doors to the house. One Ustasha is entering one, another the other one.
"The Ustasha who was stabbing Mihajlo is entering the room. The knife on his rifle is covered in blood. He is ordering us all to get out. Draginja is the first to exit - with her child in her arms. Right behind her are Boško, Petar and Ljubica. Draginja's younger daughter Danica was sleeping all this time in her bed in the room - during the time when I came, as Ustashas came, and now. The Ustasha does not even pay attention to her or to [old] Vaja lying close to the floor. He is only looking at me. He sees that I am not moving. I am not going out with the others. He is ordering me to get out. I will not. He is not addressing me any more. Instead, he went toward those who were already outside. He knows that I am left in the room. Three of us are in the room: myself, Danica--in her bed, still asleep--and dead Vaja. I am waiting for the Ustasha to come back and order me to get out. He is not coming back. I go to the window to see what they will do with the ones who went outside. The Ustashas were standing on the same spot where Mihajlo was stabbed to death. They are standing on the path covered in blood - Mihajlo's blood. Mihajlo's corpse is under his jacket a step or two into the untouched snow.
"[Mother] Draginja jumped and started to run down - toward the road. She clutched the naked child on her chest with both hands. She made four or five steps. An Ustasha started running after her. He got to her and stabbed her in the back with the knife on his rifle. He ran after her and got her. She immediately fell on the path, on the side, while the child flew whole into the snow next to the path. The naked child is waving arms and legs in the snow as if in the soap in the house and screeches [screams]. It was only six months old. It was still nursing. I think that [mother] Draginja, quite consciously dropped it on the side so she would not crush the child as she was falling. Maybe she threw him into the snow aside from the path. Who knows? Maybe it was mother's instinct - a wish to hurl the child away from death.
"The Ustasha goes closer to the baby and stabs it, too, with the bayonet. He carried it on the bayonet and then threw it onto the path. The child immediately stopped crying.
"While the Ustasha was murdering Draginja and the baby, Boško and Ljubica tried to run away behind the house. They ran next to the house where there was no snow because of the roof overhang. The second Ustasha caught up with them though and killed them. I only saw as they started to run--Boško first, followed by Ljubica, and then the Ustasha after them, but I did not see how they were killed as they turned corner to the other side of the house that could not be seen from the window. The next day, I noticed their bodies all stabbed through on that side of the house. Petar [8 years old boy] was stabbed in front of the house at the same spot where Mihajlo was [murdered].
Slaughter in the room
"After that, the three Ustashas entered the house. Two came right into the room, and the third one remained at the room's entrance door. He is not entering. One of those who entered swung the rifle that had a bayonet covered in blood on it and immediately cut the neck of the old woman Vaja. She was laying with her head twisted backwards so that her neck was completely exposed. The head rolled off the pillow under the bed. Vaja was lying on a straw mattress that was put on the floor next to a bed with her head on a thick pillow. Not even a drop of blood rolled from the severed neck. None. Only the blood vessels and the nerves protruded. They are sticking out of the slashed neck and wiggle. She died not long ago, and her body was not cold yet.
"The second Ustasha approaches the bed. Danica is still sleeping on it. I have no idea how come she did not wake up in the commotion, but those of us who were [at some point] in the room were not talking. There was no noise. It was silent all the time. We were only roaming round the room without a word uttered. The Ustashas were not talking either. Maybe a word or two. By the way, all of this lasted a very short time. It was better for Danica that she was so firmly asleep. She did not see the evil in the house. She did not have to feel fear before her death. She was calmly lying on the bed, on her back with her face turned upwards. She was covered up to her head. I was two or three steps away from her. Everything is happening in front of my very eyes.
"The Ustasha lifts his rifle with the bayonet and lands it suddenly on Danica. The bayonet cuts Danica's face across the forehead, sideways to the half of the head. The blood spilled across the face and the pillow. Danica did not make a single move or made a single sound. The Ustasha slashed her only once.
"I was voiceless. I am walking through the room away from the two of them. It was as if one was to catch a chicken in a chicken coop. They are coming toward me, after me. They are not in a hurry. They go slowly as if they were just strolling. One comes from the direction of the door, the other from the bed on which Danica lays. The one who holds in his hands the rifle with the blood-covered bayonet turned toward me.
"I jump over grandma Vaja, but I have nowhere to go. I crunch myself in a narrow corner behind the stove. The stove is next to the wall, but its back part -- used to make bread -- was a bit moved from the other wall. I am barely fitting in the corner. I can not turn. I am only stiff and standing. I watch the Ustashas. Both come in front of me. One says: 'You are not from this house. I know that. Where are you from? Whose [child] are you?'
"Our neighbors, Croats, as I later learned from many people, knew full well which Serbian family had how many children. They knew the age and sex of the children and also knew where the children would usually be at [this hour] seven in the morning and what they would be doing. The Ustashas that were slaughtering us were not from [the village of] Motike. It was said that they came to our village from somewhere for the first time that day. The Croats from our village would bring them to the Serbian houses and would inform them, in detail, how many children lived in which house. Those [Croat] neighbors would stay outside, in front of the house or hidden behind it. They were not entering the rooms in which the slaughter was perpetrated. That is how the Ustashas knew that I was not from that house and that the house of Mihajlo Stijaković does not have two girls with almost the same age -- as my name sake Ljubica and I were -- but only one - and they killed her next to the house. Probably up next to the house, there was a neighbor Croat who brought the Ustashas - but I did not notice him. He could not see me, but he could know that I was in the house if the Ustashas told him that [there is one more girl in the house] when they were outside. The Ustashas knew, right away, that I do not belong in that house. That is why they were not in a hurry to kill me. They were not clear about something. They did not know whether I was a Serb or Croat. The Croat children were coming to our neighborhood into our houses as we were into theirs. That is what confused them.
"I told them: 'I do not know where I am from or whose [child] I am - when you are doing this!'
"The nails on both my hands and turned black and blue from fear. What do you think - would I die [of fear] if they did not stab me?
"They tell me: 'Recite 'Ave Maria!'
"'I can not recite or even talk as I see what you are doing.'
"One Ustasha asks: 'What shall we do with her?'
"The one at the door says: 'Pierce!'
Seven wounds on Ljubica
"The one in front of me immediately stabs me in the front side, next to the chest bone [sternum]. As he is bringing the bayonet toward my chest, I see that it is covered in blood. I immediately fell on the floor and lost consciousness. Just before I lost conscience, I remembered one stone on our field where I used to play with my brothers Mladjen, Stojić and Miroslav. That stone just appeared in my mind with the knowledge that I will never, ever again go to it. That is the last I remember.
"The Ustashas then stabbed me six more times - while I was lying unconscious--two times on the left side and three times on the right side - all into the central part of my body. They also stabbed me into the left arm biceps. The biggest wound was the one at chest bone.
"I still have scars from all seven wounds. Each scar is easily visible, even though 58 years passed from the time. One of the scars on my left side is 5 centimeters [almost two inches] long. The others are shorter. look at this one on my arm. You can clearly see. That one is reminding me of the slaughter the most as it is on my arm so I can see it all the time.
"Some time late at night I gained consciousness. I became aware. First, I felt great thirst. I crawled along the room in search of water. It was too dark to see. It is night. In crawling from the corner of the room, I got to the middle. I crawled over grandma Veja who was laying on the straw mattress that was on the floor between the stove and the bed. She was cold and stiff. I felt [with my fingers] a small pan with water. That pan was filled with water as Mihajlo's daughter-in-law stopped washing her child because of the Ustashas' arrival. It had been filled as the Ustashas arrived at the moment when she started to wash the child. I still remember well that pan. It was blue on the outside and white inside. It was actually a bit deeper, large pot with a handle made of wire so it could be easily hung. We call that kind of handle - "povrazac." That kind of pot was also used to warm milk or water or to cook food for a few members of the family.
"I drank water from the pan. [Suddenly] a huge heat wave came over me even though the night was cold. I was putting my head into the pan all the time and drinking water in sips until morning. As it dawned, I noticed that both doors and windows are open. But I had no fear. I saw that nothing was left of me.
"Grandma Vaja is [still] lying on the bed but has no head. There is her head under the bed. There is no blood on her. Her pillow is clean. Her neck is short. Gone.
"As it got brighter, I got up a bit by leaning on the wall and the bed. Danica, age 9, is on the bed and is giving no sign of life. Her face is cut. You could see coagulated blood and [inside] the bones that were cut. Her blood was frozen on the pillow. Only now do I notice that I am covered with blood myself.
"As I started school that winter my father bought me new good and heavy-duty shoes. They were all covered in blood. Both my hair braids were in blood. The blood soaked in them and coagulated and froze, so the braids are hard as if they were sticks. Everything was frozen and stiff. I do not remember how cold I felt, but I was stiff myself. Only the wounds were making sound as I breathed. I went into 'the house' -- that is what we call the top room where a common fire place is. There I found grandpa Mihajlo's cane, which was bent on the top. I took the cane and started walking home while leaning on the cane. It is hard to walk. I go slowly. I stop at the [snow] path. I somehow manage to get to the first [house], to a neighbors' house, which was not far. That is the house of Đoka [nickname for Đorđe - Serbian name for George] Kostić. I enter the house to rest a bit and to see what happened there. I found no one in the house. The Ustashas had chased them all out and murdered them. I can not go on.
"The room has a bed, one made of wood. There is a wooden box next to it. I climbed into the box, and, covered with blood as I am, I lie on the bed. There is some cover on it. I am starting to loose consciousness. The wounds feel cold and hurt a lot. God, do not give anyone [such pain]! I was afraid that they will start slaughtering us again.
"I was lying in the bed. I did not sleep. There is nothing left of me. I am waiting to die.
Saved by Croatian neighbors - the thieves
"Then Sunday came, and they [local Croats] came to pillage. They do not know that I am in the room. I covered all of myself, over the head. My body sank in the straw bed and some clothes that were on top of it. I am quiet, and I wait. I hear them as they talk: 'Here is this; Here is that; Take this; Carry that; Give me this.' They are searching for money, and they are collecting things. I do not know who they are. I do not see them. Some one pulled the pillow under my head but is not seeing me still. I peek. There are two of them. I do not know them.
"Not even ten minutes passed before another two came. One says: 'Is anyone alive!?'
"They lifted the cover as if one would lift a cover on a child. I see who they are. One was Božo Josipović and the other one Mirko Josipović my school-mate. Both are Croats from the neighboring hamlet. Božo is an adult, a married man. Mirko recognized me. Božo knows me too.
"Mirko says: 'Ljubo [nickname for Ljubica], is that you?'
"I say: 'Yes. I am all stabbed through!'
"He asks: 'Do you want to go with us?'
"Božo is standing quiet.
"I say: 'I will go if you are not going to kill me. If you want to kill me, kill me here. Do not take me to your side of the brook.'
"Božo says: 'Do not be afraid! Nothing will happen to you. I'll carry you.'
"He takes me on his back and starts carrying me. Mirko is watching. As he lifted me, he covered me completely with some old coat. Some old, ripped coat was on the bed. It has holes. I can see through one hole, so I peek. I put my head so I can see better through that little hole. My arms are stretching over Božo's shoulders. They are hung as if dead. Božo is carrying me to toward the house of my uncle Ilija. That is some fifteen, twenty meters [yards] away from Djoka's house in which I was lying all stabbed. There is a flat place in front of Ilija's house. That is the place where we used to gather to sit or play. The Ustashas forced Todić and Vasić families onto that flat area and killed them all there. Many of them are lying on the snow. I see it all through that hole in the coat. Some [bodies] are still moving even though 24 hours passed since the slaughter. A body would only twitch or stretch and then be calm again. I hear as someone gurgles [makes death noise]. They fell over each other all different ways as they were chased and murdered. On the snow path and on the uncleaned snow - blood is everywhere. Frozen. Everything looks ripped away. Some have their mouth open; others have their eyes bulging out. Some were pressing the snow with their faces. Bodies are turned in different directions. Clothes on many are covered with blood -- as if they were twitching and rolling on the snow before they would pass away and get motionless. There were some 150 souls on that spot. In some houses of Todić and Vasić families, there were ten even fifteen children. Here is where two entire hamlets were collected and killed off - Todići and Vasići. The snow is compressed and red. That's where they were murdered. Some tried to run, but no one ran away from there. They were all caught. Some [death] sounds are heard - sounds I am not able to describe. Non-dying people can not make such sounds. I do not know how they did not become completely frozen during the night.
"Božo and Mirko stopped. They are watching the corpses. This is why I could observe them for a long time. They are not paying attention to me - as if I do not exist. Nothing is hidden from my eyes, and all those dead are not bothering me--as all of it was not horrible. I am not afraid. With exception of the three of us there, is no one alive on this plane. The three of us are silently watching. It seemed to me that it lasted for a long time. Then I said: 'If you are to kill me - kill me here - where these ones are [killed]. Do not take me to the your side to kill me there!'
"They are telling me not to be afraid and that they will not kill me.
""Božo tells Mirko to take off the shoes from one of the slaughtered men. It is an adult man, so the shoes would be a good size for Božo. Mirko went to that dead man and started to untie the shoes. They were deep-side shoes. They look good - like new. Mirko is trying to take them off. Božo is just standing and carrying me on his shoulders. We are both watching as Mirko is trying hard and suffering as he is pulling a shoe off the dead, frozen man. Suddenly, he dropped the leg of the dead man got up and said: 'It can not be taken off. The feet are frozen inside the shoes. It is not going. Let us go!'
"Božo says: 'OK. Let's go.'
"We are going toward the brook [that separates Serbian and Croatian hamlets]. As we approached it, I saw on the other side of the brook, from Croatian houses there was a column of people approaching. The column contained all kinds of people - Domobrani [Ustasha "Home Guards"], Ustashas, village militia, guards, civilians. They were coming toward our [Serbian] side, toward our houses. Soldiers are carrying rifles, and they are without mounted bayonets. They are coming to finish off the wounded and to pillage.
"I am telling them [Božo and Mirko]: 'Do not carry me to them! Don't you see how many of them there are? They will kill me.'
"'Do not fear! Just be quiet,' says Božo.
"He wrapped me even better with the coat. We passed by them. No one is asking anything. Maybe they did not see a child underneath the coat on Božo's sholders. Maybe they thought the bundle was containing pillaged goods. Maybe to keep killing was already forbidden, as I heard at some point later.
"Mirko is walking behind us. We crossed on their [Croatian] side. Mirko asks whether I want to be taken to Božo's or to his - Pejo's house. Pejo was Mirko's grandfather. Mirko's father was Marko Josipović but the head of the family was the old Pejo. I told him to take me to Pejo's house. I went with the children from the house to the same school, and I was playing with them. So, Mirko said that we should go to his house.
Croats are curing the wounds
"Božo took me to Pejo's house. He and Mirko told him how they found Milan's Ljubica alive. Their house had 70-year-old Pejo, his two daughters-in-law -- Janja and Jela. Janja died [by now] and Jela is still alive.
"Pejo told them: 'Take her and bathe her!'
"They washed me. I do not remember them giving me the bath. As soon as they poured warm water on me, I lost consciousness. They [later] told me that they took me to the school in Motike. The order was that all who survived be brought there. I can not remember any of it. I was not conscience until the next morning. As I woke up the next morning - they say that I said: 'Mama, give me some water!'
"Janja gave me warm milk. I got conscious. I looked around, and I see that it was not my mama, my mother. Then I remembered that Božo and Mirko brought me in. I am looking around. I see that I am lying in a room on a straw mattress next to a stove.
"They are asking me: 'Are you in pain Ljubo? Do not be afraid.'
"The wounds were hurting me since they washed me. I said: 'It hurts.'
"I could not move any different way.
"Peja's son Ilija went to the town. That is not far away. He bought grease and alcohol. They washed my wounds and put grease on them. After that I was unconscious for 24 hours. They called a neighbor, Anto Martinović, a Croat, to be present so no one could say that they killed me. It was already forbidden to kill any more. [Translator's note: When the German occupiers learned of the massacres at about 2 p.m., they intervened and stopped the massacres. Those who were killed were killed between 7 a.m. and 2 p.m.] He spent the night there. Janja says that I got conscious once: 'You were to die, Ljubo. You were not giving any sign of life. Only the pulse was visible on your neck.'
"The second day, after [applying] alcohol, they put me in a sitting position. They propped me with pillows. I was sitting like that a bit. There came Ilija Josipović. He was a Croatian policeman. He told me: 'Your sister Bosa is in her house. She is sitting in her bed and is not talking. She does not want to go anywhere. No one is forcing to. Everything is taken from the house. They took the cover under her so she sits on the straws.'
"Bosa was my "sister" on my uncle's side. [Actually a close first cousin in Serbo-Croatian is called a sister or a brother with a description on what side. Here, Bosa was Ljubica's father's brother's daughter - thus "sister on the uncle's side"]. She was 5 or 6 years old. Ustashas killed all in her house. Bosa hid under the bed, and that is how she remained alive. Maybe her mother pushed her under the bed. I do not know. She was alone in the room for two days. Before Ilija, no one else found her.
"I told Ilija to bring her to me. Later he told me that he found her on the bed and called her to come with him. She just said: 'I won't.'
"Only when he told her that I am also at the other house did she agreed. So he brought her to me. He carried her to the door and then put her down. She started crying and ran to me. She toppled me down. I lost consciousness.
"Bosa was not even wounded.
"I was lying in Pejo's house for two months. I was lying on my knees and my forehead until my wounds closed. I could not lie on any side of my body. My wounds would hurt. During a day, they would lift me to sit as long as I could endure. I lost consciousness every time they dressed my wounds. Janja and Jela would dress my wounds.
"I started to eat. For a whole month, I could only drink milk - one glass three times a day. I could not have anything else. They would always offer to me [other food] - but how could I eat?
"Both of us [girls] were with them [the Croat neighbors]. The old one told [the rest of his family] that no one should mention us [to other Croats] until an order came that we should not be killed, that is, that those who survived should not be killed. Some say that such an order came a few days later [when it was clear that almost no-one survived]: 'Those who survived should not be killed.' The old man did not trust that. He kept hiding us for a long time.
"We were in the house of Pejo Josipović from February 8, 1942. Bosa stayed until June [1942], and I stayed until St. Peter's Day - July 12, 1942. Peja's family were taking care of us as if we were their own family. I have only good, only pleasant memories about them.
"Some two weeks before me, Bosa was taken by her aunt Milica Savić to the nearby village of Ramići. That is where she remained until the end of the war [WWII]. She then got married into the Todić family. She has a family of her own and she lives in Todići [hamlet].
"On Sunday, St. Peter's day, July 12, 1942 my aunt Vida, sister of my father Milan, took me to her house in Macanovići, a village next to Čokore village. She sent a message to the Josipović family to bring me to [the town of] Banja Luka, supposedly so I can identify our cow, so the Josipović family could take the cow to their house. In Banja Luka the aunt and I sneaked out and ran to [her village] Macanovići. I lived there until the end of the war and a bit afterwards. After the war I married Gojko Vučić, a young man from the nearby [hamlet] of Vučići (which is also a part of Čokore [village]). With him, I went back to my father's property in [the village of] Motike, where we had children and grandchildren. Even today, I live on my father's property, in Donje Motike...
Lived to see Freedom
"Our [aunt's] place, after the slaughter, was frequented by Domobrani [Ustasha Home Guards] and village militia. Many of those were Croats from Motike. They were snooping on us. They would come to binge [at our expense]. We would give them the best we had - just to keep them happy. After they ate and drank enough, they would tell us that we have nothing to fear.
"They would always ask where the men are. Did they leave somewhere? They feared that they [the Serbian men] would leave for the forests and join the [anti-Nazi] resistance. Before the slaughter no one from our village was in the resistance. Everyone [was a peaceful citizen and] stayed at home. The [Croat] policemen and [Croat] village militia were always checking us. They knew exactly how many family members each Serbian family had, and they would check whether everyone was present. If someone was absent, they would search until they found that person - no matter how young or old the person was. That is how, on February 7 [1942, on the day of the massacre] they could take the Ustashas [the Croatian Catholic Nazi elite] to every single Serbian house and help them so that every single Serbian soul could be found and - be murdered. They [the local Croats] were guarding the Serbian houses - so no one ran away. Later, they would go from house to house to finish off those Serbs who survived and to pillage the Serbian property. But they were not the only ones who participated in the pillaging. All other Croats joined - our neighbors but also those who were not. They took everything away. They took wheat from our silos.
"The family of Pejo Josipović, the one that took care of me and Bosa, took some of the wheat. Other [Croats] gathered everything before they could. All cattle was also stolen. I do not know who [did it]. I could not find out who even though I went back to Motike after the war and I lived there with Croats ever since. I only learned, later on, that my brothers Mladjen ([age] 9), Stojić (7) and Miroslav were slashed in front of [our] house. My mother was murdered inside the house. My father was murdered the same day in the Rakovac mine [the other mass slaughter of the Serbs done by the Ustashas - on the same day], not too far from our home. In the springtime, when I felt better, I would leave Peja's house and visit our home often. The walls in our home had traces of blood. That is where they murdered my mother Danica. I heard that our boys tried to run away, but our Croat neighbors would ambush them and kill them with knives, axes and wooden spears. There was very little [rifle] fire. Just a few [shots].
"Later, I heard what happened to my aunt Dosta Todić. She was about to give birth. Ustashas toppled her on her back and then put a plank on her belly, using it as a pivot for a see-saw. They [the Ustashas] were then riding the "see saw" and watched as Dosta was "giving birth" - until they pushed baby out of her. They did not pierce her or slaughter her. They tortured her as [described] above and then finished her off with an axe.
"My sister [cousin] on my father's side, Bosa, Ilija's daughter, the one who survived the slaughter and who was brought to the house of Peja Josipović where we were together for a while, told us how she went out of the house after the Ustashas left. On the snow, in front of the house, she found her mother Cvijeta. She was pregnant. She was about to give birth. Bosa tells: 'My mother is lying and stares. I call her - 'Mama, mama!' - She only stares.'
"She left her mother and returned to the room, to bed. She covered herself and stayed. From time to time, she would get up and try to find something to eat. She remembers how policeman Ilija Josipović asked her to come with him and that she did not want to. She said that she would stay at home and wait for [her] dad. Her father was also murdered at Rakovac mine.
"In the room where Bosa was remained a crib with a 24-hour-old baby in it. It was the newborn child of my and Bosa's aunt Stana, wife of our uncle Ilija. Stana was from the nearby village of Pavlovci, from the Štrbac family. The Ustashas ordered her out [of the house] and the baby remained in the crib in the room. Alive. No one noticed it. When, after the slaughter, the baby started to cry, [5 or 6 years old] Bosa tried to feed it by putting bread in its mouth. She saw how her mother was feeding other children. The baby died.
"Right after the war, a policeman from SUP [Ministry of Internal Affairs] came to see me and asked me couple of questions. He ordered me to keep silent: 'Do not tell anyone about the slaughter. Do not tell anyone that I talked to you. What happened - happened. Do not tell to anyone!'
"I told almost no one about the slaughter of my family. If I did, it was in secrecy. I was afraid. I am still afraid that [new] Ustashas or Turks [Bosnian Muslims] will slaughter us all. What do you think? Can it happen? God forbid!
[End of Ljubica Vučić's testimony. The Author continues with aunt Vida Macanović's testimony.]
Aunt Vida found Ljubica
[Author's note:] Vida Macanović was born in Motike in 1912 and died in Čokori in 1999. In 1932 she married my uncle Gavro Macanović from Čokori. Despite her advanced age of 87, she could see and hear quite well and she was regularly performing her daily house chores. Until her death she vividly remembered the events of the war [WWII] to the last detail. She told me how, during the war, she brought to Macanovići her thirteen-years-old niece Ljubica from Motike.
[Beginnig of Vida Macanović's testimony:]
"I was born before World War One in Motike, in the house of Vasa Vasić. I do not remember my father Vasa. He left for the First World War, and he perished in the war. My mother Stoja died close to the end of the war in 1918. There were four of us children [siblings] - my three brothers and I. The brothers partitioned [father's] property before WWII, and I married in 1932.
"The oldest brother's name was Milan. His wife Danica was from Gornje Motike. Before the slaughter they had four children - three sons (Mladjen, Stojić and Miroslav) and daughter Ljubica. [The second brother] Cvijan's wife Ljubica was from Ramići [hamlet]. They had two children, Nikola and Bosa. [The third brother] Ilija and [his wife] Stana (who was from Štrbac's in Pavlovac) also had two children - [a girl] Gospava and newborn son in the crib.
"All of them were slaughtered on Saturday, February 7, 1942, with the exception of Milan's [daughter] Ljubica, Ilija's [daughter] Bosa and that newborn son in the crib that they barely saw and who--being abandoned--perished.
"We, living in Macanović [hamlet] knew - the same day - about the slaughter [perpetrated by Ustashas] in Motike. We immediately ran to [the hamlet of] Matići, in [the village of] Bistrica. With us were [Serbs] from Pavlovčani near Banja Luka who ran to [the village of] Čokori when Ustashas burned Ninković's house in Pavlovac. Families of Vasilije and Simo Štrbac found refuge at our house in Macanovići. We were related. Their sister, Stana married my brother Ilija in Motike.
"A few days after [the mass slaughter], I heard that in my hamlet of Vasići two children survived. My brother-in-law Nikola who was a miner in the Rakovac mine told me that. He did not go to work that Saturday, so he remained alive. I do not know how he heard about it [the surviving children]. I immediatelly thought that the surviving children could be my brothers' children. And it was so. The two that remained alive were [my brother] Milan's [daughter] Ljubica, age 13 and [my brother] Cvijan's [daughter] Bosa, age 5.
"It was forbidden to enter Motike until summer 1942. After that you could risk it. They were not killing women and children [there] any more. Adult males would not dare go. I dared. I went to Motike. I was avoiding the main road. I knew quite well all paths and short-cuts. I was born and I grew up in Motike. At Dvori [hamlet], one Croat woman noticed me. She knew me. She asked: 'Where are you going? Why are you in black?' [Black is the traditional color of sorrow for the Serbs.]
"I answered her: 'Well, I just came.'
"'Okay, then,' [she said].
"Even Croatian God is slaughtered.
"I did not meet anyone until I got to the house of Pejo Josipović. There were no [Croatian] guards on the road. I was alone in the Ustasha village. I was the first [Serbian soul] to walk through their village after the slaughter. I am afraid but I am walking.
"I got to Peja's house. It was Sunday. They left for the church. I found Ljubica and Peja's wife Ruža alone at home. Ruža was a bit silly even before [the war]. She would carry a load of stones on her chest. She knows me. Immediately she started crying about my slaughtered family. Ljubica was alone at home with her and with Marko's child. Marko was Peja's son. Ljubica started screaming and crying: 'Oh, aaauch, aunt! Are you alive? They told me that you were killed.'
"I did not dare cry [myself], so they would not kill me. [As a Serb, she did not want to make noise to draw attention to herself in the Croat village].
"We are both shivering [in fear].
"'Dear aunt, run. Run to your children. They will come from church any moment.'
"I was not afraid being with Ljubica. She was stiff from fear. It was Sunday morning. The old lady [Pejo's wife] was crazy and was outside. She was much older than me.
"I spent two hours with Ljubica. We were alone. I had nothing to eat or drink. Bosa was already taken by her [other] aunt to Ramići. She [that aunt] converted to Catholicism, so she dared come earlier and take Bosa. I did not dare do it earlier. Ljubica told me how she survived in the house of Mihajlo Vasić. She was just there to borrow some flour from them. As soon as she got there, the [Ustasha] soldiers came. They slaughtered Mihajlo and chopped off the head of his wife Vaja in the room. They stabbed Ljubica in seven places and left her. They thought that she was [already] dead. After that, Croats took her to their house and adopted her. Pejo's son Marko wanted to adopt her as his daughter so e could take possession of her property. Vasić family was wealthy. They had lots of fertile lands. The other of Pejo's son wanted to adopt Bosa so he can take her property. Those were good, large properties. Fertile lands.
"I left before they came back from the church.
"When I returned to Macanovići, I sent a message to Marko Josipović to give me back the child. He did not want to. I did not dare come back to Motike, but I dared go to [the town of] Banja Luka. I sent Marko a note that I found Ljibica's cow in [the hamlet of] Pavlovac and that I will bring it to Banja Luka. He should send Ljubica to identify the cow. They can then take the cow to [their family at] Josipovići. He replied that they will come.
"Krsta Mirnić, wife of Lazar Mirnić and I then went to Banja Luka on St. Peter's Day, July 12, 1942. Mirnići [hamlet] is close by. We take water from the same well. Krsta was also born in Motike as I was. Marko's wife, Janja brought Ljubica. We met at [Muslim] Imza Kadunić's, close to Feradija. That was a place where the villagers would usually gather. We gave Imza some gift and we stayed in his store and we waited there. That is the first time after the slaughter that I saw my neighbor Janja. She waited at Imza's while Ljubica left with Krsta and me, supposedly to identify her cow and to take it to the Josipović family.
"It is good that [Josipović family] were so greedy to get the cow.
"Krsta and I took Ljubica and instead of going toward Pavlovci and Motike [as expected] we went the opposite direction, next to the Vrbas [river], then toward Gornji Šer, through Krčma, Gajići and Surtelija to Macanovići. While walking I told Ljubica: 'My dear child, I am taking you to my place.'
"She was silent. Only when we were to enter Macanovići, she said: 'My dear aunt! What the evil people have done! They slaughtered our entire family!'
"She was dressed in some common clothes, but still quite a bit better than our children. They [Josipović's] were closer to the town. Ljubica was third grade of the school then.
"We notified Josipović's that we took the child. They were not angry as they knew that the child is more important to me. Later, after the child [Ljubica] was with us for a while, Krsta and I went to Motike. First we entered the house of Krsta's parents. The house was closed. We opened it. It was empty. On the walls, we saw traces of dry blood next to the bed. We were crying. Her old parents were slaughtered in their bed. We went to Vasići [hamlet]. All of the houses were standing. People were killed in houses or in the yards; some were burned in stables. We were passing by Maleševići [hamlet]. Pejo Malešević had seven sons and seven daughter-in-laws who had lots of children. All slaughtered. The only remaining survivor was Pejo's youngest daughter-in-law Ljubica. She was washing clothes at the brook. When everything was calm again, she went back to the Malešević household. She cleaned one of the rooms, and she lived there. She opened a store. She would give us anything we needed. We would not eat or drink at her place though - she was always dressed in black. [She was always in mourning.] She carried a pistol. She was ready to shoot.
"'Do not worry, Dear' [we would tell her]. 'There will be no more slaughtering.'
"It was my brother Milan's wife... After some time when it was [supposedly] calm again, they killed her one night - most probably - Ustashas. They butchered her. They cut off her breasts.
"After we saw Ljubica Malešević the two of us returned to Čokori. We would bring Ljubica to Josipović family so they could see her. I took nothing from them but Ljubica's clothes. She even got married from our house. She married into Vučić family, also from Čokori. She is living now on her father's property in Vasići [hamlet] of Motike.
[End of Vida Macanović's testimony.]
Here the author adds his own recollections.
I remember when Ljubica came to Čokori in the summer of 1942. Her aunt Vida brought her to Macanovići [hamlet]. Her aunt [on her father's side] was my aunt [on my mother's side]. She was the wife of my uncle Gavro Macanović, brother of my mother Jovanka. Macanovići was close to Lukajići. Our fields and our forests were intermingled as well as our cattle on the grazing grounds and the children who were guarding the cattle. Our field "Brdo" was some 100 meters [yards] away from the house of uncle Gavro and aunt Vida. Other than them I had three other uncles in Macanovići - Nikola, Mladjen and Drago. Nikola was a miner in the Rakovac mine but, on the day of the slaughter [at the mine, also], he did not go to work because of all the snow that fell. We loved our uncles and they loved us, [their sister] Jovanka's children, even more. They had lots of children of their own, so we frequently spent time together and socialized. Aunt Vida died in 1999. She was always such a smart and noble woman and she was always good to us, Jovanka's children.
As Ljubica appeared at her aunt Vida's place in Macanovići - everyone in the entire area knew it immediately. Everyone came to see her or to ask her something. I remember it well. I was fully eight years old then. Mom and I would go to visit Ljubica and to hear her tell us how she survived. The slaughter in Motike and the survivors were our constant subjects. Ljubica already recovered when she came to Macanovići. As I saw her then, she seemed to me to be the prettiest girl in our village. She was clean, with combed hair, dressed like a town girl, blonde and serious. She somehow looked to be above us.
That summer, she was guarding cattle with us in Brdo, Brankovac, Metaljci, Viškovac, Korita and other places. We played together. We all had a special respect and took special care of her as her entire family was killed.
Ljubica lived at my uncle Gavra's place until 1946 when she married Gojko Vučić and left for Motike to live on her father's property.
(End quote and end of the translation from the book.)
Other excerpts from the book:
Instead of introduction: Testimony of Radomir Glamočanin
The list of 2,315 Serbs slaugtered on February 7, 1942 in the three villages
Piskavica massacre survivor - Danka Milaković
Drakulić slaughter survivor - Dragan Stijaković
Father Satan loved slaughtering children
Jasenovac survivor - Borislav Ševa
MORE EXCERPTS from the book... to come.
More about the book.
Other survivors of Jasenovac speak
What was Jasenovac?
Who were Nazi Croats - the Ustashas?
More on WWII Yugoslavia
Nazi Croatia TODAY!!!
The excerpts from Mr. Lazar Lukajić's book are presented on Srpska-Mreza.com site with explicit permission from the author.
Mr. Lukajić's worked very hard in interviewing survivors. His main wish was for the entire world to learn about Jasenovac and other Ustasha perpetrated atrocities in Bosnia and Croatia for which Jasenovac has become a symbol so that this sort of horror will never, ever be repeated anywhere in the world.
The author, Mr. Lukajić lives in Novi Sad, Vojvodina, Serbia.
Where am I? PATH:
Book of facts
History of the Balkans
Before World War One
(Who got to the Balkans and when.)
(The formation of the first Yugoslavia.)
Yugoslavia during World War II
Catholic Nazi camp - Jasenovac
After WWII - Tito's Yugoslavia
(Who controlled the country.)
Big powers and civil wars in Yugoslavia
(How was Yugoslavia dismantled and why.)
Proxies at work
(Muslims and Croats were only proxies of the big powers)
The truth will free us all.
Feel free to download, copy and redistribute.
First posted: November 11, 2007


Lock in More Nutrients to Get More From Your Livestock.
Faster, more-efficient fermentation means less dry matter loss and more nutrients. Pioneer® brand inoculants are developed from patented and/or proprietary crop-specific bacteria to help optimize silage quality. The bottom line: with higher lactic acid content and better digestibility, your cattle can produce more milk and more meat.
Our inoculants team brings you unmatched local support from dairy specialists, account managers and agronomists with expertise in forages. You also get the benefit of global knowledge with our Ph.D. nutritionist staff.


text:
The Enoteca
What do you prefer?
Wisky
Normal wines
Aenos
Aenos at Bolsena, raise your glasses and….. cheers!
After having traveled around the world, Alessandro Casciani has returned to his birthplace in Bolsena, where he has opened the Enoteca AEnos, which would put a smile even on the faces of Beppe Fenoglio and Bonaventura Tecchi.
The Enoteca AEnos is situated in the heart of the historic centre of Bolsena, in an old medieval palace. The stone entrance shows the head of a fawn inviting you to come in. Facing the Enoteca is the Palazzo Monaldeschi della Cervara, which can be reached by crossing the wooden draw bridge; to the right of the Enoteca AEnos is the Chiesa del Santissimo Salvatore, and to the left you can see the Palazzo Del Drago, residence of the Prince.
To finish the picture, there are antiche stairs of copper stone, contributing a romantic look to the Enoteca.
The Enoteca AEnos was inaugurated 7 years ago after a long period of restoration carried out with full respect for its rustic interior where over 100 labels of quality wine from Lazio to Tuscany to Umbria are displayed and organised like books in a library.
Follow the steep rung stairs underground to the wine cellar and you will find yourself in an esoteric atmosphere. "I want to promote and show off the value of quality wines originating from these Etruscan lands and to become the ambassador of quality wine," declares the 50-year-old Alessandro in an interview with the BaccoeTabacco magazine. There is enthusiasm; there is passion for his home town of bolsena, a place he dearly missed during his years of voluntary expatriation.
But above all, there is determination; the resolution to bring to fruition a project which will be further expanded to offer various labels of wines to the aficionados of Bacco, coming from every angle of Tuscia, and to visitors from England, Germany, Austria, Holland, Norway and Belgium.
AEnos wine bar boasts an impressive list of labels from Bolgheri Sassicaia, Brunello di Montalcino, Chianti, Morellino di Scansano, Vino Nobile di Montepulciano per la Toscana; Calanco, Montefalco Sagrantino, Torgiano Rosso, Orvieto Bianco for l'Umbria; Grechetto, Aleatico di Gradoli, Est,Est,Est, Volgente Rosso, Canuleio Bianco for Lazio.
The Enoteca is an integral part of the enological culture of the Regione, modelling itself after the historical enoteca from Rome (Enoteca Ferrara, Roscioli, Trimani), where you can enjoy the evening under the spirit of Bacco in the company of Alessandro, the rediscovered wine connoisseur.
from BACCOETABACCO.ORG
by Enzo Di Giacomo
Webdesign Tirol designed by pc-didi.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Tennis: Nishioka stopped by Khachanov in Australian Open 4th round
January 22, 2023 1 week ago25 Views 0 Comments
Yoshihito Nishioka's career-best tennis Grand Slam run ended Sunday, the Japanese left-hander losing to Russian Karen Khachanov in the Australian Open fourth round. The 18th-seeded Khachanov won 6-0, 6-0, 7-6(4), firing 15 aces and converting seven of 10 break points against the 31st-seeded Nishioka at Melbourne Park. Nishioka's failed bid to reach the quarterfinals left no Japanese in the men's or women's singles draw. Injury-prone Kei Nishikori remains sidelined, while two-time Australian Open champion Naomi Osaka is expecting a baby and has indicated she will return to the court next year. …
Iran's Khamenei says nuclear talks 'progressing well'
April 13, 2022 10 months ago 0
Published by Al-Araby Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said Tuesday that negotiations to restore the 2015 nuclear deal were advancing but urged officials not
Joel Embiid Reportedly Makes Decision On Playing In Game 4
April 23, 2022 9 months ago 0
Published by The Spun By Chris Rosvoglou Philadelphia 76ers star Joel Embiid will have to battle through an injury for the remainder of the postseason.
Explainer-Brazil election 2022: How does the run-off work?
October 3, 2022 4 months ago 0
Published by Reuters UK By Steven Grattan SAO PAULO (Reuters) – Brazil's high-stakes presidential vote on Sunday did not yield a first-round winner with the
Nets handle business with 121-104 victory over star-less Lakers
January 31, 2023 January 31, 2023 36 mins ago 0 Comments


text:
Stanislaw Burzynski
The cruel sham that is "right-to-try" is one big step closer to being federal law
Policy oracknows | August 3, 2017
The moment I have feared ever since Republicans took control of all three branches of Congress last fall has come one step closer to reality. Actually, it's merely one of many. occurrences that I have feared, given that Donald Trump has been our President for over six months. Although you won't find much in the news about it, yesterday the Senate easily passed a federal version of so-called "right-to-try." Senator Ron Johnson, who threatened to hold up Senate business unless a right-to-try rider was approved for the bill funding the FDA for the next seven years, was ecstatic: I'm proud the…
Quack stem cell clinics: Following the trail blazed by Stanislaw Burzynski charging patients to be on dubious clinical trials
Medicine oracknows | July 19, 2017
I've written quite a few times about stem cell quackery. Although I had taken an interest in dubious stem cell treatments before, because I live in the Detroit area, the stories from a couple of years ago about hockey great Gordie Howe's stem cell treatment for his stroke, how it was credulously reported in the media, and how expressing the slightest degree of skepticism about "miracle cure" testimonials like Howe's is not appreciated by the media or patient families because it's interpreted incorrectly as attacking the patient or the family. Basically, people want to believe and don't like…
It's full steam ahead for cancer quack Stanislaw Burzynski
Medicine oracknows | May 4, 2017
I'm having flashbacks now. I feel as though it's 2012, and I was just in the midst of examining the Houston cancer quack known as Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski. As you recall, he's the Polish expat doctor who discovered peptides in the blood that he dubbed "antineoplastons" and postulated to be endogenous cancer suppressors. He ultimately made them into a cancer treatment that he's been using on patients for over 40 years now, despite never having demonstrated its efficacy or safety. Despite that, he's become a rock star in the world of alternative cancer cures, with two propaganda movies disguised…
The New York Times publishes fake news false hope in the form of a credulous account of dubious alternative medicine testimonials
Brain and Behavior oracknows | May 3, 2017
[Editor's note: Sorry this is a few hours late. I forgot to change the status from DRAFT to SCHEDULE in WordPress last night. D'oh!] The single most persuasive strategies by which quacks sell their wares and believers in quackery persuade others to try the quackery they believe in is the personal anecdote. Indeed, I established very early on in the history of this blog a type of post that has become a staple that shows up several times a year. In these posts, I deconstruct "alternative cancer cure" testimonials, showing how the story as related doesn't provide convincing evidence that the…
The failure of the Texas Medical Board: Houston cancer quack Stanislaw Burzynski is back in business
Medicine oracknows | April 26, 2017
When last I wrote about Houston cancer quack Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski nearly two months ago, he had, as I characterized it, just mostly slithered away from justice once again. The Texas Medical Board had not removed his license and had only fined him relatively lightly given his offenses. True, he had conditions placed on his continued practice (more on that later), but it hasn't slowed him down, as you will soon see. Another family is raising funds, this time from the UK, to travel to Houston for his nostrums. Basically, by failing to revoke Stanislaw Burzynski's medical license, the Texas…
What makes a physician become an antivaxer? (Part 2)
oracknows | April 21, 2017
Yesterday, I discussed a topic that has vexed me ever since long before I started this blog, namely the topic of how physicians are seduced by pseudoscience and ultimately embrace it whole-heartedly. The kinds of pseudoscience I've seen physicians embracing are many, including climate science denialism and creationism, but the ones that most interest me are ones that physicians should know better than to embrace. I'm referring, of course, to pseudoscience related to the medical profession, such as various forms of medical quackery (which, alas, have found all too cozy a home in medicine to…
As feared, Houston cancer quack Stanislaw Burzynski (mostly) slithers away from justice again
Medicine oracknows | March 6, 2017
I've been blogging fairly regularly about Houston cancer quack Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski since 2011, and now the story is over...sort of. Unfortunately, as you will see, the ending is far from ideal. It is, however, somewhat better than I had feared it might be. What I'm referring to, of course, is the final ruling of the Texas Medical Board regarding Dr. Burzynski, the Houston cancer doctor who has been a frequent topic of this blog because of his practices of charging desperate cancer patient tens (or even hundreds) of thousands of dollars for his "antineoplastons" (ANPs) and, later, what he…
The Texas Medical Board vs. Stanislaw Burzynski, round ∞: Will Burzynski slither away yet again?
Medicine oracknows | October 19, 2016
It's been a while since I wrote about Stanislaw Burzynski, the Polish ex-pat physician who is not an oncologist but treats cancer patients in his Houston clinic with a mixture of a compound he calls "antineoplastons" (ANPs) and "gene-targeted" therapy. The former are really a mixture of various chemicals he isolated from the blood and urine back in the 1970s, including chemicals like phenylacetic acid (PA) and phenylacetyl glutamine (PAG), that he thought to be endogenous cancer suppressors but has never been able to demonstrate that they are, despite having had four decades to do so.…
Antivaccine activists rally around "Dr. Bob" Sears. Hilarity ensues.
Medicine oracknows | September 14, 2016
As regular readers know, last Friday I was quite happy to relay the news that the Medical Board of California had finally acted against a rock star among the antivaccine movement, namely pediatrician "Dr. Bob" Sears. Dr. Sears (or Dr. Bob, as he likes to be called) rocketed to prominence among the vaccine-averse and downright antivaccine by writing a book called The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child. It's a book that Dr. Bob and his sycophants, toadies, and lackeys portray as being a "middle ground," complete with an "alternative" vaccine schedule to the one recommended…
"Right to try" goes federal, thus far unsuccessfully
Policy oracknows | September 5, 2016
It's been nearly two weeks since a new "right to try" bill (AB 1668) passed the California legislature with overwhelming support and was sent to Governor Jerry Brown's desk to be signed. Thus far, he has not signed it, which is good, but neither have I seen a story that he has vetoed it either. In the meantime I learned some more about a federal version of the bill, which I will discuss after a brief recap of why right-to-try is such bad policy, which will lead into a discussion of the federal bill. For those unfamiliar with right-to-try, such bills claim to allow terminally ill (or, in some…
As I predicted, Stanislaw Burzynski is using "right to try" to bypass the FDA
Medicine oracknows | August 29, 2016
About three months ago, I was displeased to see in a normally reliable source of medical news (STAT News) a story about a patient of cancer quack Stanislaw Burzynski, Neil Fachon, that fell victim to every trope that Burzynski's used for 40 years to present himself to the press as a "brave maverick" doctor and researcher rather than the unethical quack that he is. Basically, as was the case of so many similar stories in the 1990s and more recently, the story was framed as one of a desperate patient battling the FDA to save his life, instead of what the story really represented was a desperate…
False "balance" about Stanislaw Burzynski's cancer quackery rears its ugly head again
Medicine oracknows | June 2, 2016
One common theme that has been revisited time and time again on this blog since its very founding is the problem of how science and medicine are reported. For example, back when I first started blogging, one thing that used to drive me absolutely bonkers was the tendency of the press to include in any story about vaccines an antivaccine activist to "tell the other side" or for "balance" to the story. So in a story on vaccines, on the one side you would have Paul Offit, a bona fide, legitimate vaccine expert, and on the other side you would have J.B. Handley, Jenny McCarthy, Andrew Wakefield,…
Stanislaw Burzynski in NEWSWEEK: How long can his "unprecedented medical malfeasance" continue?
Medicine oracknows | February 23, 2016
I didn't think I'd be writing about Stanislaw Burzynski again so soon, but to my surprise a very good article in Newsweek describing cancer quack Stanislaw Burzynski popped up in my Google Alerts yesterday. I hadn't expected much in the way of news coverage about Burzynski for several months, given that the second half of Burzynski's trial before the Texas Medical Board had been delayed by his having suffered a heart attack and isn't expected to begin again for several months. Entitled Cancer "visionary" Stanislaw Burzynski stands trial for unprecedented medical malfeasance and by Tamar…
Eric Merola releases a 2016 "update" of his original movie about Stanislaw Burzynski, and the misinformation flows (again)
Medicine oracknows | January 15, 2016
I feel as though I'm experiencing an acid flashback to 2011, and I've never in my entire life once tried acid—or any mind-altering substance other than booze. What am I talking about? Let's take a trip down memory lane, if you will, back to those halcyon days of—oh—five years ago. That was the time when I first took an interest in the Polish oncologist wannabe named Stanislaw Burzynski. Although I had mentioned him before because he featured prominently in Suzanne Somers' 2009 paean to quackery Knockout: Interviews with Doctors Who Are Curing Cancer–And How to Prevent Getting It in the First…
An advertisement for Stanislaw Burzynski masquerading as a news story
Medicine oracknows | December 11, 2015
Although I don't write about him as much as I used to, there was a time a couple of years ago when Houston cancer quack Stanislaw Burzynski was a frequent topic of this blog. His story, detailed in many posts on this blog and in an article I wrote for Skeptical Inquirer, is one that involves many facets, including an abysmal failure of the normal government agencies designed to protect patients from abuses like his to actually do their jobs and—oh, you know—protect patients. If you want an idea of how utterly impotent our regulatory agencies are, the Burzynski case is as good an example as…
Will Stanislaw Burzynski finally face real justice?
Medicine oracknows | November 17, 2015
The other day, I suddenly realized that it's been a long time since I've written about the Polish expat doctor in Houston who treats patients with advanced brain cancer with a concoction that he dubbed antineoplastons (ANPs). I'm referring, of course, to Stanislaw Burzynski who, despite the fact that he has no training in medical oncology, has treated thousands of cancer patients with ANPs beginning back in the late 1970s. Somehow, despite the fact that he's never even come close to showing that ANPs are effective and safe against the cancers for which he uses it, the FDA has, with a brief…
Cancer quackery, Republican presidential candidates, and political influence
Yesterday, I wrote about how pediatric neurosurgeon turned presidential candidate Ben Carson is an excellent example demonstrating how the vast majority of physicians and surgeons, even highly accomplished ones admired as being at the top of their professions, are not scientists and how many of them are disturbingly prone to buying into pseudoscience. In Dr. Carson's case, that tendency to believe in pseudoscience derives from his fundamentalist religion that led him to reject evolution and accept arguments against evolution every bit as ignorant as the ones Kent Hovind or Ken Ham serves up…
Dr. Hidaeka Tsuda demonstrates that antineoplastons don't work against colon cancer
Medicine oracknows | March 24, 2015
Two things have reminded me that it's been a while since I've written about Stanislaw Burzynski, nearly five months, to be precise. First, on Wednesday evening I'll be heading to the city where Burzynski preys on unsuspecting cancer patients, Houston, TX, to attend this year's Society of Surgical Oncology meeting to imbibe the latest research on—of course!—surgical oncology. (If you'll be attending the meeting, look me up. If you're in Houston and want to have a meetup, I might be able to pull it off.) Second, you, my readers, have been telling me there's something I need to blog about. This…
R.I.P., McKenzie Lowe. Stanislaw Burzynski failed you.
R.I.P., McKenzie Lowe. Unfortunately, Stanislaw Burzynski was no more able to save you than anyone else, his claims of great success treating pediatric brain tumors notwithstanding: HUDSON — Thirteen-year-old Hudson resident McKenzie Lowe died Friday evening after a 2-year-battle against an aggressive and inoperable brain stem tumor. McKenzie died at 10:27 p.m. in her own bed at her home in Hudson. McKenzie was diagnosed on Nov. 28, 2012 with Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma, or DIPG, a brain tumor located on the brain stem. Patients with DIPG typically survive for less than a year.…
Ebola, "right-to-try," and placebo legislation
One of the biggest medical conspiracy theories for a long time has been that there exist out there all sorts of fantastic cures for cancer and other deadly diseases but you can't have them because (1) "they" don't want you to know about them (as I like to call it, the Kevin Trudeau approach) and/or (2) the evil jackbooted thugs of the FDA are so close-minded and blinded by science that they crush any attempt to market such drugs and, under the most charitable assessment under this myth, dramatically slow down the approval of such cures. The first version usually involves "natural" cures or…
Whence Uroplatus and... there are how many leaf-tailed gecko species now?? (gekkotans part VII)
Time to press on once more with gekkotan lizards, and again with yet more on the remarkable leaf-tailed geckos (Uroplatus) of Madagascar. So far, we've been introduced to these lizards and have also looked at their anatomical pecularities and on a little bit of their history within the herpetological literature [image below shows U. phantasticus - I think - photographed at Mandatia; courtesy of…
Messier Monday: A Real-Life Pi-in-the-Sky Cluster, M38
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -W. Shakespeare Welcome to just another Messier Monday here on Starts With A Bang! Each Monday, we're taking a detailed look at a different one of the 110 deep-sky objects that compose the Messier Catalogue, each one a different semi-permanent wonder of the night sky for our viewing pleasure here on Earth.…
Hostilities under glass
Courier mixed media, 2007 Thomas Doyle Thomas Doyle's miniature sculptures are dead ringers for the moldering houses and threatening forests of HP Lovecraft's Arkham. Each 1:43 scale vignette is like a scene from a horror film - if horror films were staged in the lovingly crafted O-scale countryside of a miniature railroad diorama! Acceptable losses mixed media, 2008 Thomas Doyle I…


text:
'use strict';

const path = require('path');
const alfy = require('alfy');
const PDFify = require('pdfify-node');

const source = alfy.input;

if (!source) {
  alfy.error('error.');
}

const destination = path.resolve(
  source.slice(0, source.indexOf('.md')) + '.pdf'
);

const pdfify = new PDFify({
  source: path.resolve(source),
  destination,
  style: null,
  header: null,
  height: null,
  repeat: false,
  debug: false,
  open: false,
  silent: true
});

pdfify.makeHTML().then(html => { // eslint-disable-line promise/prefer-await-to-then
  pdfify.makePDF(html);
});

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Primary documents from Al-Thani family offshore firms
Posted: June 19th, 2017
Members of Qatar's ruling family "Al-Thani" have had interests in more than 20 offshore companies, according to data released as part of the "Panama Papers" by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ). The extended Al-Thani family has also long controlled Qatar's $335 billion sovereign wealth fund, the Qatar Investment Authority, which was characterized in a March 2013 Guardian article as the Qatari "emir's personal investment vehicle in a country where personal and state wealth are blurred."
DE-Tenants.org has previously charted out these Al-Thani corporate interests in offshore tax havens located in the Bahamas, the British Virgin Islands (BVI) and Panama. Digging further into these enterprises, we have begun identifying primary underlying documents for certain Al-Thani offshore firms. Below are initial details from our findings.
Abdul Aziz Althani Holdings, Inc.
According to ICIJ data, Abdul Aziz Althani Holdings (AAAH) was registered in the Bahamas in July 1998 by a Sheikh Abdul Aziz Bin Jassim Bin Hamad Al Thani, who was the firm's shareholder until September 2001. Afterward, the entity's shares were held by a series of "Nominee" shareholders until in January 2010 a Sheikh Abdul Bin Jassim AlThani took ownership of the firm. ICIJ records show that Mr. Bin Jassim AlThani has an address at PO Box 8695; Doha; Qatar.
New York City real estate records shed further light into AAAH's function. A search in the Office of the City Register reveals that in July 2005 AAAH acquired an apartment unit — 4B — at 502 Park Avenue for $6.1 million. A recent article posted for WNYC in New York offered additional details on the Qatari-linked property purchase.
At the time of purchase, AAAH took out a $3,050,000 mortgage from Credit Suisse First Boston Financial Corporation, indicating that the Al Thani firm initially paid $3.05 million in cash for the property. The company paid off the mortgage in its entirety in May 2010.
The 2005 deed offered no details on the identity of AAAH's backers. The filing only noted that AAAH had an address at P.O. Box 36, 1st Floor, 37 Broad Street, St. Helier Jersey, JE49NU Channel Islands. Tax bills, however, trace back to Qatar. Beginning in February 2011, the mailing address for the tax bill for AAAH was listed at P.O. Box 8659, Doha, Qatar — the exact P.O. Box cited for Sheikh Abdul Bin Jassim AlThani in the ICIJ database for AAAH.
AAAH Deed, 2005
AAAH Mortgage, 2005
AAAH Satisfaction of Mortgage, 2010
Afrodille S.A.
Registered in the BVI in January 2014 — but also "linked" to Luxembourg — Afrodille S.A. is, according to data from the Panama Papers, owned by HH Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Bin Hamad al Thani — the former Emir of Qatar and father to the current Emir. The address cited for the former Emir in the ICIJ database is Al Wajba Palace; Doha; Qatar.
A shares certificate, available for download below, affirms the former Emir's ownership — as of January 2014 — in the offshore entity.
Afrodille S.A. certificate, 2014
Al Faisalia Trade Company S.A.
A firm registered in Panama — although "linked" to Switzerland — according to ICIJ data, Al Faisalia Trade Company initiated in April 2009 and then defaulted in July 2012. Information from the ICIJ's Panama Papers identified Sheikh Faisal Jassim Al Thani as a principal, along with a Huseyin Basaran.
DE-Tenants.org acquired the primary incorporation documents for the offshore firm from Panama's "Registro Público." The filing affirms the ICIJ data, and discloses that Basaran has an address in Istanbul, Turkey.
Al Faisalia Trade Company S.A. incorporation, 2009
Knibos Consulting S.A. & Notart Consulting S.A.
Knibos Consulting and Notart Consulting were incorporated in Panama just days apart in February 2011, according to ICIJ information.
The ICIJ's online database discloses that Sheikh Hamad Jassim J.M. Al-Thani held "Power of attorney" for both Knibos and Notart at the time of the data disclosure. Reporting by Forbes revealed that the Sheikh Hamad of these companies was none other than Hamad bin Jassim bin Jaber Al Thani (HBJ) — Qatar's Prime Minister from 2007 to 2013 and also head of the Qatar Investment Authority from 2005 to 2013 ( source).
The primary corporate filings from Panama, however, make no reference to HBJ. The identical slate of officers for both firms is listed below.
Knibos Consulting S.A. incorporation, 2011
Notart Consulting S.A. incorporation, 2011
Rienne S.A. & Yalis S.A.
Hamad bin Jassim bin Jaber Al Thani (HBJ) is affiliated with Rienne S.A. and Yalis S.A., per Panama Papers disclosures. And so is the former Emir of Qatar, Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Bin Hamad al Thani, based on reporting by the U.K.'s Independent paper.
Both companies were incorporated in Panama in 2011, but similar to the two previously mentioned entities — Knibos Consulting and Notart Consulting — neither HBJ nor the former Qatari Emir appear in Panama primary documents. Instead, for Rienne there is the name slate of officers as for Knibos and Notart, starting with "President" Rey Taylor. A subsequent filing submitted by Yalis in 2013 disclosed the following officers:
But additional primary documents reveal that the Qatari royals are the underlying shareholders of these entities.
Minutes from a July 2013 shareholders meeting for Yalis reveal that while Lizet Moreno and Paulo Ruiz — both officers connected to Al Thani firms in Panama — are the chairperson and secretary, respectively, of the meeting, the two shareholders are former Qatar Emir Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Bin Hamad al Thani (misspelled in the document as "Sheikh Hamad Bibhalifa Binhamad Al-Thani"), as 75 percent owner, and Sheikh Hamad Jassim J.M. Al-Thani (HBJ, the fomer Prime Minister and head of QIA), as 25 percent shareholder.
Similarly, a shareholding certificate for Rienne S.A. shows HBJ owning a 25 percent stake in the firm.
Rienne S.A. incorporation, 2011
Yalis S.A. filing, 2013
Yalis S.A. board meeting, 2013
Rienne S.A. certificate, 2013
Tagged: More on Qatar - Al Thani Family, More on Qatar - Offshore Assets


text:
Q: How to append a sequential count of a column into a new column from a grouped column using dplyr I have the following data frame:
library(tidyverse)

dat <- data.frame(foo=c(1, 1, 2, 3, 3, 3), bar=c('a', 'a', 'b', 'b', 'c', 'd'))
dat
#>   foo bar
#> 1   1   a
#> 2   1   a
#> 3   2   b
#> 4   3   b
#> 5   3   c
#> 6   3   d

What I want to do is to create a new column with bar column tagged with the sequential count of its member, resulting in:
  foo bar new_column
   1   a   a.sample.1
   1   a   a.sample.2
   2   b   b.sample.1
   3   b   b.sample.2
   3   c   c.sample.1
   3   d   d.sample.1

I'm stuck with this code:
> dat %>% group_by(bar) %>% summarise(n=n())
# A tibble: 4 x 2
     bar     n
  <fctr> <int>
1      a     2
2      b     2
3      c     1
4      d     1

A: You can use group_by %>% mutate:
dat %>% group_by(bar) %>% mutate(new_column = paste(bar, 'sample', 1:n(), sep = "."))

# A tibble: 6 x 3
# Groups:   bar [4]
#    foo    bar new_column
#  <dbl> <fctr>      <chr>
#1     1      a a.sample.1
#2     1      a a.sample.2
#3     2      b b.sample.1
#4     3      b b.sample.2
#5     3      c c.sample.1
#6     3      d d.sample.1

A:     dat%>%group_by(bar)%>%mutate(new_column=paste0(bar,'.','sample.',row_number()))
# A tibble: 6 x 3
# Groups:   bar [4]
    foo    bar new_column
  <dbl> <fctr>      <chr>
1     1      a a.sample.1
2     1      a a.sample.2
3     2      b b.sample.1
4     3      b b.sample.2
5     3      c c.sample.1
6     3      d d.sample.1

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


Aries is a Cardinal Fire sign. Due to that, the sign is known as the Spark, since it combines the Cardinal quality of initiating new things and the ability to spread energy fast like forest Fire. This ambition, passion for new beginnings and ventures sometimes makes others perceive Aries as a withdrawn personality, but it is not in the least so. Aries just prefers heading off to a new adventure to socializing.


Crazy enough, some people reading along eventually became real-life, in-person clients. A couple even figured out where my new house is located based on the fact they walked past it. Whoa, I know! And another interesting bit, last Fall a woman who's been reading my blog from its early days (we're talking way back in the day), contacted me for with a project. She knew my story so well there were events we chatted about even I had forgotten. Amazing! In a non-creepy way. She lives local and was able to figure out I was less than 15 minutes away in order to hire me. It was one of the best mornings spent last Fall, to be honest. That day fell during a particularly tough work week. Brought me right back to my old blog roots, craving for time to project and blog away at home. And it only solidified some of the feelings I'll be sharing below.
I was feeling as if the more I shared, the more people would know. But would they hire me if I was writing personal things on the blog? Would it make me appear unprofessional? I've been wondering how my professional business and blog would overlap. How people will view me and my professionalism.
Of course, I also have to find the time to write and that's been hard to come by with a growing professional organization business.
I want you to know that I took last year's reader survey results to heart, and promise to share more. Be more real. Get in here more often to share the ins and outs. Like, for example, the fact my crawl space flooded a couple weeks ago and we've been dealing with the aftermath ever since. And then it flooded again earlier this week. It's a doozy – will share all the details soon.
Today what I wanted to chat about are my efforts to get focused and stay in my own lane. Owning a small business (managing the ins and outs), working with clients several days a week, staying engaged with an online community, having bigger dreams and goals for the blog / my business, swimming in a sea of future project (and product) ideas – it is all consuming. But somehow, the online world sorta swallowed me whole and I'm trying to crawl out to re-focus on what I WANT TO DO…not what THE INTERNET says I should do.
A couple years ago I branched out and attended my first blog conference. I attended the same conference again last summer. Since then have attended a few more, including the Better Homes & Gardens Stylemaker event in NYC. Doing so has led to meeting the most incredible people and friends. Each is unique in their blog focus, but several branched off into creating and selling digital products / courses.
There was a period of time when every week there was some sort of webinar I was being introduced / invited to. An invite would arrive in my inbox and I'd be like a dog to a bone…."Oh, that's for me, I need to be a part of that live webinar!"…or "Oh, that's a new podcast I need to add to my playlist!"…or "Hey, I have a free 4-day training course I'd like to include you in!". All leads you to join someones e-mail list…which means more e-mails are coming in with more info and more leads down even more rabbit holes.
Actually, I was done last Fall.
Month after month I'd find myself listening to and watching other people succeed at their goals…while falling short on my own. They were capturing me with their great ideas, products, info, trainings and courses (and don't get me wrong – still love and need the help) but I wasn't putting anything to work – or at least putting forth 100% of my effort. Why? Because I was already so overwhelmed and had my own business to keep my nose in. I had my goals written down, but wasn't making traction on anything. And if I was, I certainly wasn't taking anything to completion. Talk about frustrated!
The one area I was successful was my work with clients. My schedule was packed with clients and they were all happy. But again, in my minimal off time, I was giving giving giving or absorbing other people's info…not focusing on doing doing doing for my own sake.
I think the tides shifted when I felt this sense of exhaustion from taking in so. much. info. Too much info. We can only take in so much, right?
Yes, one is blurred for the moment.
Some of these tasks / goals are necessary, like legal topics, taxes, getting help by way of an awesome VA, and my logo (little story behind this one – wait until you hear it!). But once I had these 12 in my face, staring me down, I chose one at a time to sprint on. Some are not completed yet. For example, I hired an attorney (love her!!) but there is a process involved with legal that takes time. But I can now proudly say the ball is rolling and that's more than what was happening last year. Because remember last year NOTHING was happening – ha!
You may notice that more content has been showing up on the blog. This is due to a new blog schedule that allows for writing time to be added into my week. I love writing and sharing, but unless I plan the writing time for the freshest points during my day, it won't happen. I was really pleased when I hit publish on my grocery store game plan post. You have no idea how long that's been sitting in Evernote…how long I've been wanting to share that with you.
I'm excited to share that I was accepted into an Evernote certified training program that I completed this week. I'm awaiting word that I passed and am an official member. Once I know, I'll be able to add this as a service I can offer to clients – in person and virtually! Can't wait because many of us struggle with digital organization….and it may give me the chance to work with many of you, which would be amazing! I'm seeing a lot of video trainings in my future!
I finally dug into Lesley's book, What the Tech?, in order to make some site updates…all on my own! Not paying a web person! The idea behind her book is to learn how to work on your website on your own…and save the money. I'm proud to say every tweak you see has been done by me. This will continue – and again, can't recommend her book / course enough!
Really really excited to share I've finally dug into the writing of a very special e-book. This will be my first digital product offering. The writing time must be scheduled so I've carved out 1-2 days per week for writing. In order for the book to launch in a month or two, I have to be deliberate with a writing schedule. And in order for that to happen, I had to figure out where my time was going. Turns out being pulled away by other people trying to share a course, training or their endless e-mails….that will do it! Now, I magically have plenty of time in my schedule for writing.
There's more success on goals, but the point of this post is to give you an update on me personally…and I'm sure many of you can relate to what I've shared.
Funny – focusing on staying in my own lane and keeping my head down in my own work has immensely fired up my motivation. Like there's no stopping the Sam train. haha!
Look forward to sharing more with you and hope you'll comment to let me know if you too have been feeling that wave of webinars taking over your FB feed or e-mail inbox.
Here's the staying in your lane!
So true! Great advice, can't wait for your e-book.
GREAT post. Love this line…I'm trying to crawl out to re-focus on what I WANT TO DO…not what THE INTERNET says I should do. DITTO for me, too. It looks like you are off to a great start. Going to check out the book you mentioned… What The Tech. I would love to do my own design changes and not have to pay someone.
Thank you so much! Funny, this post was literally free-flow writing for like 45 minutes…and when that happens, you know it's genuine feelings. I've been wanting to share this for a few months.
YES! Definitely, check out Lesley's book. Her videos are the best part because she shares the screen and shows you exactly what to do and where. I need a visual in the tech world because there is too much lingo I'm unfamiliar with. Speaking of, she also has a glossary of tech terms in her book, which is rather helpful!
What a great post! I was recently in your position where I was getting so overwhelmed by everyone else's emails and newsletters and blog posts that I was feeling defeated because I wasn't focusing on my own goals. I finally am focusing and I'm seeing great success! Good for you!!
Oh I'm glad you found a great VA! I'm looking to become a VA. I've been an assistant in the "real world" and now I'm working from home, so it's a great way to transition while building my side business.
I've been feeling the same way, but with doing so much crew work for other organizers. While I am enjoying the extra income, and I seem to learn something new on almost every job, I can't help but do the math in my head and realize how much more profitable working with my own clients would be. Also, taking into account possible referrals from those clients. One of my goals this year is to start to focus on increasing my own client base. I love the term "staying in your own lane" and with permission, would like to use it as my personal mantra! Thanks for sharing Sam. Here's to a focused and successful 2017!!
So so good to see you here! Oh my gosh – I totally agree! I didn't realize how much crew work you were doing. That's great for the experience, but I can see what you mean by doing the math / the referrals / etc. We all somehow end up in some space that isn't our own…and I think it's because we have big hearts and it's hard to say no. I know how involved you are with the conference planning too so I can only imagine how many directions you are being pulled in.
Yes, please use the mantra – I've been using it for a few months and it's working really well. I've also been asking myself a number of questions when someone has been presented to me. If it doesn't fall in line with my mission I have to nicely say no. Not forever, but for the short term it's ok to pull away from things and "go dark" in order to focus on your own business. It's so imporant!


There can be options for adults to gain a place on higher level courses or gain exemptions from part of a course - without the usual entry qualifications - using the knowledge and skills gained through experience or previous qualifications.
This process is called Accreditation of Prior Learning (APL). Each institution will have a policy about their arrangements for APL and it is worth asking them about this early on if you think this might be a route for you.
Find out more in Using your experience.
If you think you have developed skills and experience that match to the requirements for a specific course, it is worth contacting the college or university to ask whether they will consider you, even if you do not have the usual entry qualifications.
Foundation Degrees are work-based qualifications which are equivalent to the first two years of a degree course. Adults with vocational experience related to a specific Foundation Degree might be able to gain entry, without previous Level 3 qualifications. by a university. Check with the institution to find out more.


A Yellow, Green and Gold Mismatched Vintage Bone China 21 Piece Tea Set.
Pretty soft yellow and pale green florals and gold filigree patterns are combined to create this unique eclectic tea set or tea service for six people.
Six vintage china teacups made by Queen Anne, Colclough China, Aynsley, Colclough, Paragon and Balfour.
Six saucers to match the teacups.
Six tea plates to match the teacups and saucers.
A Colclough pale green and gold filigree half pint milk jug and a Royal Vale gold filigree sugar bowl.
A Queen Anne pale green, yellow and gold cake or sandwich plate 23 x 26cm.
An elegant mismatched vintage bone china afternoon tea set to serve your guests in style.


Defra is seeking views on how they can improve the planning system in England to protect the environment and build places to live and work. They are proposing to do this through the introduction of a mandatory biodiversity net gain requirement for all development decisions controlled at a Local Planning Authority (LPA) level.
Come along to a joint IEMA/CIEEM workshop to hear more about the proposals, talk with colleagues from CIEEM and IEMA and contribute to our response to the proposals.
This workshop is aimed at environmental professionals working in the fields of ecological assessment, local government, EIA, planning and development.


Andrej has 20+ years of experience in the payments industry with previous roles at GZS, FIDUCIA, FirstData, ERSTE Group. At SIX Payment Services he is in charge for the Switching, Issuing and Acquiring Processing Services across 33 countries in Europe.
Payments are driving the commerce of the 21st century connecting consumers and merchants across the globe. The reliable and secure payment infrastructure became the engine of growth. Innovations are driving new payment methods and form factors with a clear focus on user convivence in the daily payment experience.