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Former Stranger in Rebellion
Copious amount of Words, Substantially Packed in an Unceremonious Format from the Former Stranger.
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Undeniably Mayo
My Most Embarrassing Moment, Part 2
Posted by Mark Mayo
He walked down the dark, dank smelling hall, seeing the light coming in through cracks of the awkwardly leaning door that was ahead of him. As he reached it, he gingerly lifted his hand to caress its cold hard surface. The padlock that was always there was gone, the hasp oddly twisted. Flakes of metal paint was coming away from dents slightly marking the surface. The bending twisted dent angled up toward the hinge on the other side, exposing grey metal, looking like some strange, rusted canyon of the future. He pushed the door open hearing a kink in the movement only felt from badly fitted doors. Outside sat two of his brothers, not by blood, but by the bonds of fraternal consensus found at universities. These guys frightened him in a way. They seemed so much older, so sure of themselves, so knowing, like they could see into him, his thoughts and especially his fears. That is what he was afraid of; that people would discover his fear, and expose it, laughing as it flopped there on the dirty ground, wet with beer, dust and food particles never swept up. The fear that his heart would be exposed and it would be stomped, uncaring into the ground. Although it was more than that. It was that no one would want to see his heart; take it into themselves, cherish it and share their heart with him. He'd been so transparent all his life and never really understood those reasons. It would be something he would never see until the time that he would give God his heart, and God would share it with him. But before that happened he would have to reveal it to a family who would always be there for him and then he would truly start to trust. Truly ready to believe in a God who would never leave, unlike his father who left at the worst possible time. Is there ever a good time?
"You just about got through there," one of his brothers said with a laugh in his voice.
"Yeah, just a couple more kicks and you would have been free. We probably would have never found you." They looked at each other and laughed. They didn't know how right that statement was. He had spent most of his life trying to kick down doors forever blocking his path. Why did he choose this hall, when there were so many other, much easier ways out? Although he never tried as hard as he did last night. Last night was different. He had such hopes and dreams for last night, only to be dashed to the beer drenched floor.
He had come to this fraternity only because his brother was a member. It was his first year of college and things weren't turning out like he expected them to. He was so dishearteningly lonely, hungry, and unconcerned. So much of what this experience was turning out to be mattered so little anymore. His first quarter he had an 8 am class, then one at noon and rounding out the day one at 3 pm. It confined him, that schedule did. He started missing his 3 o'clock classes. Eventually he couldn't work his way out of bed for the early one very much either. The consequences of missing classes weren't showing themselves. He'll see them eventually for sure, but not until the end of the year, when he has nothing to show for the year up here. But, he did feel it. He felt it in his loneliness, his despair at realizing what a foolish choice his major was. They were all jerks. They thought themselves so much better than they were, even before the whole environmental thing took hold in its manic way that it did in the '90s. Perhaps that is just what he saw though. He knew he could never succeed, for he'd never been driven to. The given-up guitar lessons, the tortuous basketball games, the fear that there were better, much better baseball players than him: so why go on with… anything. Then there were the girls. Even at a young age he wanted someone exclusively to dedicate conversations and time with. But, there was always someone better, so why try.
He was in the semi-real world now. This University, this Institution of higher learning. How did he even get here. He'd proven himself unreliable in elementary and high school. But he had made it, although he was scared and lonely. His brother was the only one he knew, who was with him from the beginning. He went to him and where he was. He got in only because he was Little Mayo. Little Mayo always to his bigger sisters friends and his big brothers friends. It seemed that even his little sister had it more together than him. He felt sorry for himself. That was a trick his father always would use, his mother would always remind him. He would never realize that feeling sorry for himself would never work, until years later, when he would become a different man.
But now is where he lived. As he always did. There was past and there was future. Past bright and fun and adventurous and friends. The future: misty and grey, only echos of his father's mismanagement of his job, his marriage, his children, his legacy. His life was like walking down a dark hall, only there is no light indicating a door, only knowing for sure that when he reached the end he would have to completely turn around and go back. Go back down paths the opposite way that he didn't enjoy the first time.
"I don't even remember going down the hall to the door," he said to the brothers, unsure about whether he was being funny or not.
"Well, you're going to have to pay for that door." Uncomfortable tightness worked it's way through his stomach as one of his "brothers" eyed him with anger and maybe a bit of disappointment. This is all wrong, he thought. Yesterday was supposed to be his time. It was planned long ago. He had even picked out the song they were going to dance to. "Prove My Love" by the Violent Femmes: it was perfect! Great beat, good message, especially for what they were going to do, and they could all mouth the words. Then they'd wind it all up with R.E.M.s "White Tornado". He had to prepare to do this though. He was going to be no slouch when it came to getting up the courage to get on that stage. He started drinking in the early afternoon. All afternoon he would walk up and down the halls, excitedly chatting up the brothers, for what could… no would happen! An hour or so before the show, he walked by one guy's door and glanced in. What exactly was going on here? he wondered. The brother was bending over something, looked up sideways at him and gleefully asked, "Wanna try some?" "Sure," he said, and walked in the room and closed the door.
Later, their dance was awesome, although he couldn't see a thing because he had to take his glasses off, because they were all wearing Ray-Ban style sunglasses, and he was basically blind. But he could feel people and see faces cheering. Oh this was going so swimmingly!
Then the clean-up. Had to clear the floor for the real party. He was wearing his good ole stand-by moccasin type slipper shoes, and the floor was a bit wet. He never really got his footing out on the floor. He kept falling down, flat on his face. Frustration began building inside of him and anger on top of that. A monster was about to be released he never knew existed. Although not green and never twice the size of his true form, it was just as fearsome and unholy as any monster born through sin, rage and unmet expectations. He was looking up, glasses never put back on, and saw only blurry, laughing faces. Holding to themselves the cups of unbridled liquid courage so cursing him now in his combined illicitness and ineffectiveness, they were curling it around their arm protectively as if they could ward off the demon slowly changing form on the floor at their feet.
Haze.
GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE! he raged within himself, dealing blow after blow of furiously aimed kicks to an innocent heavy metal door. He finally felt four men tear him away from the door and drag him down the hall to his bed, and proceeded to sit on him. Oh the seething explosive force he was using against his prison guards, that captured him as he almost made his escape. Okay! okay! it was getting hard to breathe for him, "I'm fine! I'm calm, I've calmed down."
There was doubt and hesitation in their eyes as they slowly released him. Free! He lashed out at the window above him and heard and felt the satisfying crash of glass as it rained down on him, his bed, everyone. They grabbed him again. Held him surely until they knew it was over, but it was gone. Once the window shattered the spell was broken the monster was gone, and he broke down and cried. Wailed his sorrow, his fear, his angst and anguish. Until there was one left in the room with him. This one shared his own doubts, fears,… suicide attempts, foolish as they were. This here was a brother! A com padre. Oh if only Little Mayo knew. People just don't open up and let you in the let you in to their true self. No. This discussion was too much for the one left with him, and leave he did. Perhaps he saw the folly of his ways in this young newbie. Maybe he turned around and dedicated his last years there to studies, seeing how near he came to giving himself to someone. That may have been unacceptable. He never talked to the younger one, the little Mayo again that year. Just for that night. He fixed it just for that night.
But, like one trained to know that there is someone out there to give your heart to, he kept to travelling the sad and lonely, the fearful and dark paths of this world, trusting that there was someone who never gave up, even after all the let downs. The embarrassment of knowing you've given so much and that the other wasn't real, wasn't true. He would though, wear his glasses a little bit tighter to his face from now on, hoping to see a little more clearly than before. For that day would come and he wanted to be full witness to it. That night when demons were released in more than one way, he would hold to his heart, until the time of release, so that he could realize that what he had hoped for all His life was there all along. The Creator was there all along, knowing that these things would have to be gone through in the proper time. Knowing that even though he wasn't His at the time, he was still securely in His hand. Somehow he knew the Savior was there. He could never put it to words, but how else was he to explain that he still went on, of failure after failure after failure. God knew he would need to remember so he can give hope, that he can see it in other's eyes when all but a glimmer was gone. Like a light at the end of a dark hall, the door someday for someone will be pushed open easily, because of the experience he had that day. He would also never receive someone's heart and turn his back, no never. For the world had turned it's back on His Son in the darkest time. People will always hurt him. But as far as he was concerned and as far as God would allow and remind him, he would never… betray a trust… given to him.
~Stranger
Posted in Strange Confessions
Tags: Assurity, Betrayal, Depression, Door, Fear, Fraternity, God, Hope, Realization, Rejection, Relationship, Security, seeing the light, Shame, Strange Confessions, Trust, Utah State University
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Daily Current Affairs for Competitive Exams 2nd April 2019 | First of all, thanks for landing this post, if you are searching for the Daily Current Affairs 2019 then we must say you are in the right place.
1. ISRO's (Indian Space Research Organisation) PSLV C45 lifted off from the Satish Dhawan Space Centre, carrying India's EMISAT satellite along with 28 nanosatellites of global customers.
2. Pakistan's High Commissioner to India and seasoned diplomat Sohail Mahmood will be Pakistan's new foreign secretary.
3. Satish Magar took over as the new national president of the Confederation of Real Estate Developers' Associations of India (CREDAI), the apex body of private real estate developers in India.
4. Zuzana Caputova has become the first female President of Slovakia.
5. South Korea has won the Sultan Azlan Shah Hockey tournament title at Ipoh in Malaysia by defeating India.
6. Australia's Ashleigh Barty defeated Czech Republic's Karolina Pliskova to win her maiden Miami Open title. With this, she became the first Australian woman since 2013 to reach the top 10 in the WTA rankings.
7. Viktor Axelsen of Denmark has won the men's singles title of Yonex-Sunrise India Open badminton tournament in New Delhi by defeating Kidambi Srikanth.
8. Roger Federer has won the men's singles title of Miami Open by defeating John Isner.
9. Bank of Baroda (BoB) became the second largest state-owned lender after merging Dena Bank and Vijaya Bank.


This fabulous trophy has been manufactured to the highest standard available in today's market using the latest resins and designed to last for many years to come.
The gold colored figurine stands proud and centrally on a plinth and 4" round silver/red column , body twisted arms out for balance and one leg in the air just about to strike the ball for that perfect pass to win the game.
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Base Colors: » Learn More.


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Kahna  is a village in Kapurthala district of Punjab State, India. It is located  from Kapurthala, which is both district and sub-district headquarters of Kahna. The village is administrated by a Sarpanch who is an elected representative of village as per the constitution of India and Panchayati raj (India).

Demography
According to the report published by Census India in 2011, Kahna has total number of 131 houses and population of 710 of which include 339 males and 371 females. Literacy rate of Kahna is 78.47%, higher than state average of 75.84%.  The population of children under the age of 6 years is 69 which is  9.72% of total population of Kahna, and child sex ratio is approximately 1226, higher than state average of 846.

Population data

References

External links
  Villages in Kapurthala
 Kapurthala Villages List

Villages in Kapurthala district

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Craftsman bungalow – It highly features elegance and warm decor that applicable just on your budget. You can play with colors to make home interiors unique. Bungalow homes are included into old world with country style decorating ideas. The decor and accessories in set shall make sure about pleasing to the eyes and comforting atmosphere. Craftsman style home interior decorating ideas are available in simple top plans that applicable just at cheap prices. How to make a better home in craftsman style bungalow? The ideas are for sure very interesting that even enjoyable when you are applying the decorating ideas.
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Stone veneer adds real significant decorative value. Both interior and exterior with stone veneer are having interesting design with strong accent. Edging, paver, pathway, driveway and retaining walls in the garden and landscape are absolutely interesting at high values. Just check on the image gallery to see the designs and ideas for more inspirations.


Topola, Bulgaria is a place located in Dobrich region at 43°25'0" north of the equator and 28°16'0" east of the Prime Meridian (or if you don't know what these numbers mean just look at the map). You can zoom in and out this map using controls on the left side of the map. You can also change Topola map type using buttons in the top right corner of the map.
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Alternate names under which you can find this place are Suiciucul Turcesc, Suiuciucul-Turesc, Tatar Sujutschuk, Tatar Suyutchuk, Topola, Turk Suyutchuk, Turski Suyutchuk, Топола. Distance between Topola and Bulgaria capital Sofia is 254.2 kilometers. Currency used here is Lev and country calling number for Bulgaria is 359.
Current temperature in Topola is 9°C and the ESE wind is blowing with speed 20kmh.
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Posted November 19th, 2014 by sallynatalie & filed under Uncategorized.
Went to The Tower of London this week to see the encroaching mud replace the sea of flowers. Still moving, I think it's right that it is being dismantled as it's not 'Disneyland" after all. Top right image looks like a half filled glass of red wine; my photographic toast to Paul Cummins!


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After 38 years in Uptown, Green Mill is closing on Hennepin Ave.
A popular and growing Twin Cities burger chain will take its place.
After 38 years of deep-dish pizza, corn meal crust and wings, Green Mill is closing down its Uptown eatery.
Green Mill owner Paul Dzubnar made the announcement Tuesday that the Hennepin Ave. restaurant will shut its doors on Dec. 31, but is in negotiations to open a new one in downtown Minneapolis, the Business Journal reports.
Taking its place will be Red Cow, the popular Twin Cities burger restaurant chain that will open its fourth metro area location – its others being in southwest Minneapolis and the North Loop, and Cathedral Hill in St. Paul.
Credited with bringing deep-dish Chicago-style pizza to the Twin Cities market, Green Mill still has more than two dozen locations dotted around the Midwest – most of them in Minnesota – since its humble beginnings in 1930s St. Paul.
CityPages muses whether the opening of Chicago-based pizza joint Giordano's on Hennepin Ave. last year has taken business away from Green Mill, though there's been no comment suggesting that is the case.
The Hennepin Ave. location is said to have served more than a million pizzas during its nearly four-decade life, and Dzubnar told the Star Tribune the company is looking to relocate workers to the various other Hightop-owned eateries in the Twin Cities.
The new Red Cow, the newspaper reports, is expected to open in the summer.
Green Mill is also going to move its Rosedale Center restaurant to a new spot in the mall, near to the AMC movie theater on the north side of the building, which is due to open in spring, the Business Journal notes.
The Hennepin Ave. announcement comes two weeks after nearby D'Amico & Sons revealed it will close its original Uptown location and will instead focus on delivery.
food & drinksfood
MN Business
Cafe Maude is closing after 10 years
A Twin Cities restaurant group will be taking over the space.
Reports: Smack Shack closes Chicago location after less than a year
Its 300-seater Chicago experiment didn't take with the locals in a fiercely competitive neighborhood, despite good reviews.
Acclaimed Bayfield fine dining experience is closing after 16 years
Wild Rice has been plying its trade on Lake Superior's south shore since 2001.
Uptown restaurant closes, but will reopen as an arcade and games bar
Bad news for fans of the Libertine.

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