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Tag Archives: Kimi Räikkönen
2014 Malaysian Grand Prix Post-Race Drivers' Quotes, Translated
If it's a day that ends in 'y', be sure to go fuck yourself and your fucking team orders
"I'm incredibly happy today. This is my first win in Malaysia after eight attempts and to do it for our Petronas family in their home country makes it even more special. It's all down to the team. They have done a fantastic job and I have to say a huge thank you to everyone here at the track and back at our factories who have been pushing non-stop to get the car where it is. The race was tougher than it perhaps looked today and the conditions here always make it a great challenge. But I was able to look after the car, the tyres and the fuel and still keep a bit of pace in hand which made my job that little bit easier. It's great to see Mercedes leading the championship but we know that we have to make these early races pay. Anything can happen as we saw in Australia, so this is an important result for us. One-two finishes don't happen very often and this is a real achievement for the team. Finally, I would like to offer this victory in tribute to all those affected by the tragedy of MH370. A special mention also goes to my step-mum Linda for her 50th birthday tomorrow!"
HAM – "Baby is so happy when Baby gets what he wants! Next week, when things go to shit, I'll go back to pouting on the radio and tweeting telemetry. BTW: So sad about the plane crash people stuff! God rest their souls. These things happen for a reason; God puts commas where we try to put periods. Although, for lots of those people, it was probably pretty period-y. It does make me sad, though, that they won't be able to see me race or do fast things or listen to my music or think about me and the rich things I do. Happy Birthday, Linda! Hashtag Bless."
"This is an incredible day for our team and for Mercedes-Benz. Everyone back at our factories in Brackley and Brixworth, and all employees of Mercedes-Benz, can feel very proud today. For the first time in the modern Silver Arrows era, we have achieved a one-two finish which is an incredible result. The team did a phenomenal job over the winter and my thanks once again for that. I also want to thank our partners Petronas. They have given our team so much support, along with the best products for our power unit, so we are proud to be associated with them and I hope they enjoy the celebrations today. I had a great start again, even though it was tight with Sebastian. It was very close at the wall and I just closed the eyes, went for the gap and did it. Later I was able to control the pace and to defend my position against Seb but Lewis was out of my reach, so congratulations to him for his win. I really look forward now to next weekend in Bahrain."
ROS – "I just closed my eyes, went for the gap, let the angels on my dick start their dancing. . .. and then. . gah! It's like when you feel a sneeze coming on and then you don't sneeze. Although, I have to say, after nearly passing out from hyper-ejaculating related dehydration last week, it was best for me and the team that I retain my fluids. I'll probably get dehydrated this week, anyway, after puking every time I have to see Hammy's smug fucking happy face. Thank god there's only one week between races. Two weeks and my esophagus would've been toast."
Sebastian Vettel, 3rd
"We have certainly made a good step forwards, but we still have a lot of work to do. It's great to get a podium finish today. Considering where we were, not even two months ago, I think this weekend is a massive step in the right direction. It's a shame we didn't finish with both cars, but it's good to see the car is quick and we need the laps; for now it's important to collect points. The guys are pushing back in the factory and at Renault – it's been a massive job from them – and we'll try to be up there very soon again. It was a shame to lose a place at the start, but third was our maximum position today, so I'm very happy with that. It's a shame for Daniel with what happened, he drove really well."
VET – "Marko and I have been watching a lot of 'Clone Wars' lately and picking up a lot of motivational tips from the Separatist-soon-to-be-The-Empire guys and, yeah, it's funny: doing a force choke on the guys at Enstone and Renault really gets their attention! Like, this shit works. Won't be long until this seems-to-be-unfinished car is FULLY OPERATIONAL. Except for Danny's car. Fuck him."
Daniel Ricciardo, DNF
"It was looking like we could have a solid points finish today; the race was going pretty well. The start was really good and I made up a couple of positions and I was starting to, let's say, mix it up at the front, which is nice. It's fun being up there and fighting for the top few spots, but then we had a problem at the last pit stop and then we had a puncture. I think we had a front wing failure and a few other things went on and then the stop-go penalty, so the race ended pretty quickly for us, it went from looking good to looking pretty bad in a short amount of time. I'm really disappointed, but at the same time there's a little bit in me which is happy because I think I've come out the first two races how I wanted to, in a way. I still want to improve, but we've started off on the right foot, so for that I'm pleased and with a little bit of luck we'll turn things around soon and I'll get some points. I love racing up the front, it's been a privilege so far and a lot of fun in the last couple of races. It's a bit addictive actually, I want more, so you'll see me up there plenty of times this year."
RIC – "Well, I can't say nobody warned me. One thing that does make more sense now are all the little scraps of paper I keep finding in the nooks and crannies of the garage with "help me!" scrawled on there in Mark's hand-writing. Time to respond to those 'anonymous' emails I'm getting about a support group for victims of team abuse."
"Considering where we were a month ago, to be on the podium with Sebastian in Malaysia in a dry race, is an incredible performance. We knew that we had some ground to catch up to the Mercedes, so to finish as close as Sebastian did today was a really positive performance and, while we know we've got a lot of work to do, we can begin to realise the scale of our challenge. It's a great shame for Daniel who did everything right today – a great start and a great first lap and a really impressive opening part of the race. It was unlucky that when he came in to a pit stop, the front left didn't go on properly and the car was released, it was judged to be an unsafe release and we had a drive through penalty. Thereafter the wing failed – we don't know what caused that yet. I think Daniel's clearly shown his potential and that the Australian GP wasn't a one off; it's great to have two guys pushing like they are."
Horner – "Remember this quote when, next season, we're blaming Danny for holding up Seb after his car catches fire and the smoke kinda slows Seb down for a second and so Seb doesn't get a purple lap and that makes Marko/Seb angry and then I have to deal with that. Fuck that Danny guy."
Jenson Button, 6th
"It was hot out there this afternoon! And when you've spent all that time watching the two Williams battling in your mirrors, it makes it feel even hotter. Still, it was an enjoyable race, and I couldn't really have expected more. I think we got the most we could out of the package this afternoon, and I didn't think I'd be finishing sixth after the way the car had performed earlier in the weekend.
"It's encouraging for all the guys that we called both the pit stops and the fuel usage perfectly throughout the race. I also want to say a big 'thanks' to everyone back at the MTC [McLaren Technology Centre] for working so hard to bring the updates to the track. Every little helps. Nonetheless, there's no getting away from the fact that we're still weak in the high-speed corners; this car does have its strengths, but we've got a lot of work to do. We got the best out of the car today, but we know we still need to improve.
BUT – "It's just really nice to not-suck as much as we sucked last year. Even though we still kinda suck."
Kevin Magnussen, 9th
"I'm sorry for the team that I messed things up going into the second corner, with the incident with Kimi. I think we could have scored some good points today, so I'm disappointed with and for myself, too. Grands prix are long races, so I shouldn't have made a mistake like that so early on in the afternoon. But that sort of stuff happens sometimes – and, when it does, you just have to learn from it, and I will.
"After the incident, it wasn't easy to recover, and we struggled with the high track temperatures, and in the high-speed corners, too. As I say, I'll learn from this race and I'll see what I can do at the next one. It's good that the Bahrain Grand Prix is so soon; it'll feel good to put this one behind me, and move on."
MAG – "I wonder if Sutil still has that prescription for 'Sutil-itis'? Fuck, this shit is hard, actually, this racing thing. Do we do this all fucking year?! Fuck."
"Clearly, we'd expected to be leaving Sepang with rather more than the 10 points we scored here this afternoon. Having said that, Jenson drove a faultless race, moving steadily from his P10 grid slot to P6 at flag-fall. Had qualifying gone better for him, perhaps he could have finished a little farther up, but probably not much.
"Kevin made a good start, but, as he shaped up to pass Kimi's Ferrari, the two cars touched, causing a puncture for Kimi and a broken left-side front-wing end-plate for Kevin. Kevin's first pit-stop was consequently elongated by our need to fit a replacement nose-cone assembly, which deficit was compounded by the stop-go penalty he was awarded soon after. Such races are a Formula 1 rookie's rights of passage, inevitable and unsurprising, but Kevin's reaction was impressive from two perspectives: first, he put his head down and drove his heart out for the remainder of the afternoon, recovering very well to finish ninth at the finish; and, second, he apologised to the team unreservedly on the slowing-down lap, which wasn't strictly necessary but was good to hear all the same.
"Overall, then, despite having got both our cars to the finish in points-scoring positions, we're far from satisfied; but we're working tirelessly to improve things, and that's exactly what we'll do.
"From here we go to Bahrain, where we hope to spice things up a bit by putting on a better show in the home race of our principal shareholder, Mumtalakat."
Boullier – "Still so happy I got the fuck out of Lotus!"
"Eleventh place is good for all the guys at Enstone and at the track, and it's good for me too. Finishing the race was our first objective and then we wanted to see where we were with our car. It's not perfect yet but it's good to be where we are at this stage. I had a big loss of downforce around eight laps to the end especially in the rear of the car which made things difficult, especially when I had to defend. Without that issue, I'm sure we could have finished higher. It's good to be back and close to the points so it's a positive for all of us. It was a good battle at the end. I kept remembering our past battles to make sure Kimi couldn't go through!"
GRO – "Hey, hey! We finished a race! Well, one car anyway. Well, to be honest: Does anyone actually expect Pastor to finish a single race this season? Fuck. Do you know what I'm really sick of? I'm just realizing that ALL HE WEARS are these T-shirts with the 2012 Spanish GP results printed on the back. He must have, like, 50 of those fuckers. Seriously, even Kimi and his Ice Dragons weren't as annoying as this shit."
Pastor Maldonado, DNF
"After the start we were losing a lot of power so we'll have to investigate later to see what the issue is and analyse the data. This problem meant I had to retire in order to protect the engine. Despite that, this weekend has been clearly a step forwards. Since Saturday, we've been able to run far more with the car and Romain was able to finish the race. Today obviously was not so good for me, but we're not the only ones with issues so early in the season. This is all related to all the complex packages in the car, but we have learnt a lot this weekend and will make progress for the next."
MAL – "Trombone sounds you hear when the adults talk to the kids in those Peanuts cartoons."
"In my last lap I lost power and then suddenly the car switched off. I don't know what happened, so we need to analyse it. It is a shame. Many things don't work well at the moment, so we need to learn from that. In general, our pace was too slow and the grip level was poor. This was unusual for us and we didn't expect that. We will keep working on the issues we have and we will be back stronger for the next races. We don't have much time until Bahrain, so we don't expect to have many updates there. However, for the upcoming races we have a plan which we are working on in order to improve."
SUT – "We have a plan. Yep: we're going to stea. . . um, borrow one of RBR's cars from last year and paint it with whatever boring-ass livery we're using right now."
"After quite a long stint, I made a pit stop and couldn't engage first gear. I tried it many times, but it didn't work, so there was not much I could do. In the end we made a step forward this weekend. Obviously it was not a good race, but we have to keep positive. We must solve our issues so we are consistent and reliable at the track and have no technical problems. We still have a long season ahead and I am confident we can improve."
GUT – "I was sitting there, in the pit, and all the guys were all shouting, 'GRIND IT 'TIL YOU FIND IT! GRIND IT 'TIL YOU FIND IT!' and laughing. Fucking assholes were falling down they were laughing so hard. Fucking Sauber."
Giampaolo Dall'Ara , Sauber head of track engineering
"The start of the race was okay, as Adrian was able to gain several positions. We were on a three stop strategy with both cars, because our goal was to keep up with the cars in front of us. Both drivers started on the medium tyre. Adrian then shifted to the hard compound at his first stop, because he was not happy with the medium tyre. Esteban changed to the hard tyre during his second stop, and then wanted to go back to the medium for the last stint. But during his pit stop he wasn't able to engage first gear. Before that Adrian was forced to stop out on the track. His car lost electric power supply and switched off completely. We will investigate both problems in order to solve them before the next race in Bahrain. Overall, our performance in the race wasn't where we expected it to be, so we have some homework to do."
Dall'Ara – "Huh-uh, huh-uh! I said 'Three stop strategy'. Uh-huh."
"I think I had a great start today but very soon I felt some problems with the car. I lost power in the car and I just saw everybody overtaking me. Then I found myself in a sandwich between a Caterham and Bianchi and maybe I was a bit too ambitious to think I could try and pass the two cars. It was just not possible and this resulted in the collision, which damaged my front wing. At this point I knew that my race was compromised, so I was hoping for some rain and maybe a safety car to change the cards on the table and re-join the pack. But then I continued to suffer with the car and my race was over. It's really a shame, as this was a race in which we could have been strong and achieve a good result. The race pace on hard tyres was pretty good. On the positive side, we have a good car and we won't have to wait long before being back on track, as Bahrain is just around the corner."
VER – "I've said a lot of words and things just now but the most important fact is that the idea of a Caterham/Bianchi sandwich has given me a really gigantic boner."
"It's good to finish in the top 10 for a second time in a row now. This afternoon's race was very difficult and intense with a lot of fighting. The first two stints were hard when I was fighting the Williams and McLaren in the early stages, but they were faster than me on the straight. I was quite happy with the final stint and having managed to defend my position. Overall it was a good weekend and I hope we continue to improve like this as the car definitely has potential. So I'm looking forward to going straight to Bahrain to race again in a week's time. It will be interesting to be on a track where we have actually tested with this car."
KVY – "All the Ice Dragons and all the Italian racing history and all the British racing history and all the energy drink dollars and all you fuckers will all eventually bow to the power of oil-soaked Rubles! Respect, bitches!"
Franz Tost, Toro Rosso team principal
"Daniil did another good race, scoring a point again here after Melbourne. He could stand the pressure from the others until the end of the race and defend his position, without making any mistake. As for JEV, after yesterday's very good performance in qualifying, he unfortunately faced some problems today from the very beginning of his race. Soon after the start, in his first lap, he lost many positions, when something went wrong in the power unit management."
Tost – "New strategy! We are looking into Russian citizenship for Jean-Eric!"
"I think we need to be happy about today as moving from P18 to P8 is a good result and we have more points in the bag. The car was not as competitive this weekend as it was in Melbourne, but the team has done a very good in producing a car that is looking like it can consistently fight in the top 10. I had a really good start, making up six places on the first lap, and from then on the pace was pretty good and I was able to make up more places without too much trouble by using our very strong straight line speed on the long straights. Qualifying has shown that there are parts of the car we need to address, but the start to the season has been encouraging for us so far."
BOT – "I am totally looking forward to being this season's Romain Grosj. . . .Oh: Fuck me."
"Getting both cars in the points today is a positive result for the team. I had a very good start and made up some good places on the first lap, but my progress was halted a bit by the McLaren of Magnussen in the first stint which had good traction out of the last corner which made it difficult for me to overtake. I also had the same issue later on in the race with Jenson as I was able to get up close to the back of him in the closing stages when on better tyres, but just couldn't get past. On the whole I don't think this track particularly suited our car, so we have done well to finish where we have, and I'm confident that we will be more competitive in Bahrain."
MAS – "FUCK ALL YOU FUCKERS. MASSA IS THROUGH TAKING SHIT FROM ANY OF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. MASSA WILL RACE HOW MASSA WANTS TO RACE AND, IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH MASSA, FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK OFF. Oh, wait: Smedley's here? GODDAMMIT! Hi, Rob. How are you? Me? I'm fine. Hm, what? Oh, nothing. Jus' chillin'."
"It was a pretty demanding race I have to say. I didn't get a fantastic start and I knew there was going to be trouble in Turn 1, which I at least managed to avoid. We had a close battle with Ericsson for much of the race and towards the end we were very close and pushing him all the way to the line, eventually ending up just 0.1s adrift. We are a little disappointed today, but we'll regroup and focus on what we can do for Bahrain next weekend."
CHI – "WOOO-HOOO! 15TH! YEAH! I MUST'VE PASSED SOME PEOP. . . .WHA? ONLY 15 CARS FINISHED? OH. WELL. . . OH. THAT SHIT WAS STILL A BLAST! WOO-HOO!"
Jules Bianchi, DNF
"Unfortunately the situation with Maldonado was a consequence of what happened off the start, when Vergne hit me from behind and punctured my left rear tyre. Quite simply I could not avoid Maldonado; there was nothing I could do. We came in to change the tyres and to fit a new front wing but when I returned to the track the car was not easy to drive and we suspected a problem with the brakes. We could not continue to drive this way and had no choice but to retire. It was disappointing to end my race after eight laps and this is not the reward the team deserves after a week where we seemed to make good progress through the sessions."
BIA – "It appears that the only way Max is ever going to not-finish a race is by me killing him, so I'm going to do that now."
"Today was a super team effort and I'm very happy with fifth place. We were the only team among the frontrunners to do a two-stop race and we had good pace all afternoon. It shows that the team's hard work over the winter is paying off and it feels great to be so competitive and fighting up at the front. We showed that we could manage the tyres well, although I felt a bit more comfortable on the medium compound tyres than on the hards, but we always had the tyre management under control. So I'm feeling happy that we can take all these positives to Bahrain and leave Malaysia with a good helping of points."
HUL – "I can fucking smell that fucking podium, motherfucker. Just give me that shit. I will fucking wreck that fucking podium."
Sergio Perez, DNS
"I'm disappointed not to have a chance to race today. We are still investigating the cause of the problem but the car kept going into neutral when I was downshifting on the way to the grid. I made it back to the garage but we could not find a solution. I need to focus on the positives because we learned a lot from the weekend so I hope we can come back stronger in Bahrain. It's been a frustrating weekend for me but at least we are racing again in seven days and can look forward to putting the disappointment behind us."
PER – "Ja-ja! Ok, funny joke, guys: You painted my McLaren car from last year with Force India colors and put the stupid nose on it, but I can tell it's my car from last year because, right there, is the margarita/michelada button and look how much wear is on it. I was punching the shit out of that button last year."
"The points scored today are the result of a trouble free weekend, in which the small improvements on the car worked as we had expected and it ran very reliably. We definitely have a lot more work to do, because while we are moving forward, the others are doing the same. Everyone in our team is doing their utmost to close down the gap. There's still a lot to learn in these early races, but it's no secret that we definitely need to improve our top speed, as could be seen from my duel with Hulkenberg. I was able to get him thanks to fresher tyres, but we definitely need to up our performance right from the very next race. It will be very hot in Bahrain and the tyre compounds are softer. This might be an advantage to us, because on the harder tyres we are sliding a lot. Also, from the data we gathered there during winter testing, we might be able to extract more of our potential, but that will apply to everyone."
ALO – "Fighting off fucking Hulkenberg and fucking Force fucking India. Fucking Enzo would be spinning in his grave if he weren't actually preserved in a giant bottle of grappa they keep in the basement at Maranello. There's a little tap, there, on the bottle, and they let me and Kimi take shots of that grappa before every race. If Kimi wasn't already made of half-vodka, the magic Enzo-grappa might actually help his ass finish higher.
"I am very disappointed with how this race turned out, because I got a good start, but then the collision with Magnussen damaged my right rear tyre, which meant I had to make an extra stop. That wiped out any chance I had of fighting for a good finish. After the accident, the car's handling was not the same, as the tyre had caused damage to the floor, which led to a loss of downforce. On my first set of tyres, I had some difficulties and it was only after the final stop, when I fitted the mediums that it went better, but by then it was too late. Hard to say how things might have gone without that problem, because our rivals were very quick, but maybe I could have finished close to Fernando. It was a really unlucky day, but overall we managed to improve our performance and now we must concentrate on the positive aspects of this weekend and work to improve starting already next week in Bahrain."
RAI – "It's going to take a lot of watching Sasha blow 'Nando in that Ferrari seat-chair thing he has to get my boner back this week."
"Thirteenth in our second race of the season is a very good result for the team, especially after such a bad weekend until the race! I had a great start, and no brake problems this time going into turn one, and by the end of the first lap I was up to 16th, running at the same pace as Sutil just ahead and with the car performing much better than it had all weekend.
"We were looking at what was going on around us and with the good tyre degradation we had we adapted the strategy and decided to go long on the first stint on options, finally boxing on lap 15, going out again on another set of mediums which were working well right from the first lap of the second stint. I was ahead of Chilton and found really good pace on the new set of tyres and I went after the Saubers ahead and was catching them fast. We stopped for the second time on lap 32 and went onto the primes for the final stint, knowing it would be a long run to the flag but also knowing that if we kept it on the track we could have a good finish, and that's how it turned out.
"Thirteenth place in Malaysia puts us back in 10th in the championship and gives everyone the sort of boost we needed. There's still a huge amount of work to do and a lot of today was new for me – that was the first time I've driven the car on full tanks on these tyres and we obviously have to keep putting more performance on the car so we can really fight one or two of the teams ahead. That looks like it's a realistic target at this stage, but for now, focusing on today, finally we've had a good day and we should be happy about that."
KOB – "Not hitting people and not crashing and actually finishing a race does make me very talkative, yes. Why do ask? Hey, did I ever tell you about this other time I finished a race? It was warm that day. Not as warm as today but, still, pretty warm. There were some people in the stands. They were watching the race. Some of them were smoking. Those fans: they sure were smooookin'. This race, the one I finished, that time. I remember the tyres: the tyres were, like, wearing out; so I kept a good eye on them. Did I mention I was wearing an onion on my belt? That was the fashion at the time. . . Hey! Where are you going??!"
Marcus Ericsson, 14th
"First I want to thank the boys in the garage for working so hard to fix my car after yesterday's accident. I was feeling a bit low last night, but to have finished my first full grand prix in 14th, helping us move up into 10th place in the constructors' championship, is a great feeling, for me and everyone in Caterham.
"My start couldn't have been much better – I passed both Marussias and was right up with Kamui by the end of lap one in 17th having made up five places. I was quickly into a good rhythm and keeping pace with my teammate but about ten laps into the first stint I started having some issues with the rear grip which was costing me a bit of time. We boxed for the first time on lap 11 but had a problem during the stop and I came out behind Chilton and Vergne. The second stint was really good – to be honest I was a bit surprised that I was fighting Raikkonen but he and Vergne made a couple of moves on me which I was able to defend, and then I went after Chilton. We boxed for another set of new options on lap 26 and I came back out ahead of the Marussia and focused on pulling away from him.
"I stayed ahead of Chilton after the third stop for the primes and from there I just wanted to get the car home. It was all okay until the last couple of laps when I started losing power, and I finished just ahead of the Marussia at the line as he'd been almost able to catch me with the ERS issue, but that 14th place, by 0.1 seconds, is what puts us into 10th so I'm really glad I could hang on. That tiny margin also shows that every single detail counts at this level of competition, and the tiniest advantage can make a big difference.
"It's been a tough weekend, really tough for everyone, but we'll head to Bahrain knowing we have something to build on, and something to defend. That's a big positive and I can't wait to get back in the car in a few days time and start all over again."
ERI – "Whatever Kamui was smoking. . . I just shot a bunch up, right into my veins."
Paul Hembery, Pirelli motorsport director
"This was a tough race, with track temperature of 46 degrees at the start and the most abrasive surface that we visit all year. In spite of this the tyres showed an overall balance of performance that allowed a close battle for the lead. There was no blistering or graining, and while drivers had to manage thermal degradation, a three-stop race is in line with the requirements the sport has asked Pirelli to deliver."
Hembery – "Hey, Renault! I feel for ya, bra. If you need any lube, I've got some left over from last year. Don't worry guys, take it from me: eventually, your assholes will heal and you will be able to poop normally again. Pro tip: avoid leafy greens!
Posted in F1 Drivers Translated	| Tagged Adrian Sutil, Daniil Kvyat, Felipe Massa, Fernando Alonso, Formula One, Helmut Marko, Jenson Button, Kevin Magnussen, Kimi Räikkönen, Lewis Hamilton, Malaysian Grand Prix, Max Chilton, Nico Hülkenberg, Nico Rosberg, Pastor Maldonado, Romain Grosjean, Sebastian Vettel, Sergio Pérez	| Leave a reply
2014 Malaysian Grand Prix GIF Report
Posted on March 31, 2014 by Fygar
After Qualifying (excluding his little cock up in Q3, of course):
After the race:
Jean Eric Vergne
Posted in GIF-Tastic	| Tagged Daniil Kvyat, Felipe Massa, Fernando Alonso, Formula One, Jenson Button, Kamui Kobayashi, Kevin Magnussen, Kimi Räikkönen, Lewis Hamilton, Marcus Ericsson, Max Chilton, Nico Hülkenberg, Nico Rosberg, Pastor Maldonado, Romain Grosjean, Sebastian Vettel, Sergio Pérez	| Leave a reply
2014 Australian Grand Prix Post-Race Drivers' Quotes, Translated
This is not metaphorical! I repeat: THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR!
Nico Rosberg, 1st
"That was an incredible day for us. To start the season with a win is unbelievable and I have to say a big thank you to everybody who was involved in building our car over the winter. I always dreamed of having such a strong Silver Arrow and now it seems we are there. In the race, everything went perfectly for me. My start was great and I was able to push from there until the end, with our fuel consumption well under control. However, despite our success today, we also know that there is still some work to do. We saw over the weekend that reliability is still a concern and it prevented us from having a strong two-car finish. We have two weeks to improve that. I am very much looking forward to Malaysia and I would love to race again tomorrow!"
ROS – "No, seriously: Can I live in my car? I fucking love my fucking car so much right now. My only real problem is, like, this is a real concern, ok? So, um, can you, like, get dehydrated, um, from, ahh, fucking ejaculating too much? No, really. I'm serious you guys! I mean, first of all, Hammy DNFs, right? Pow! Right in my pants. The VETBot 2000 DNFs: Ungh-uhhhh! Mess in my pants. Then I go all VETBot 2000 on the field, leading by some ridiculous margin: Sploosh! Again, in my pants. Dudes, like, by the time I got out of my car at the garage, not only were my penis-angels exhausted, it felt like my boots were made of sponges. So, um, yeah any feedback on the dehydration issue might be helpful. Hammy, how was your race? Oh! I just came again."
Lewis Hamilton, DNF
"My start didn't feel great today and I had a lot less power than usual when pulling away, so it was obvious immediately that something was wrong. It looks like we only had five cylinders firing and, while I wanted to keep going, we had to play safe and save the engine. It's unfortunate but that's racing and we will recover from this. We have a great car and engine, and the pace was really strong today as Nico clearly showed. Big congratulations to him and the team for achieving the win, it's a fantastic result for us. Of course I'm disappointed with my own race and when I think about all the work that has gone on back at our factories, it's tough to have a costly hiccup. However we have achieved an incredible amount to get here, to be at the front and to be so competitive; we will bounce back and learn from this. There is a very long way to go this season."
HAM – "Anybody who doesn't think I am totally full of shit should take one look at my Twitter feed. After today – what was essentially a confirmation that, even with all the praying and bullshit "blessed" hashtags, there is no fucking God – I should be tweeting fucking "blessed" hashtags and pictures of Coco chewing on her crucifix-shaped doggie toy and talking to everyone about how right now, in the sand, there's only one set of footprints and that's God carrying me. I should be tweeting all that shit. What am I tweeting? Fucking crickets. Not even Haribo tweets. There is no god. I hate my life."
"It was a day of light and shadow for us. Nico did a perfect job this afternoon: a great start and a really controlled drive all the way to the final lap. He delivered the car's performance how he needed to, when he needed to, and took a very composed and deserved victory. On the other side, we were disappointed to lose Lewis so early after a misfiring cylinder forced him to retire. He had done everything right this weekend until that point and it was a situation beyond his control. We know that reliability will be crucial to this long season and we will be working hard to improve the situation for the race in Malaysia. Finally, this victory has a very special meaning for us, too. I would like to dedicate it to Michael, who has been in all our thoughts this weekend. He will keep fighting, as only he knows how, and we are sending all our strength to him today."
Wolff – "Whoops! We gave Hammy Webber's old car!"
Adrian Sutil, 12th
"It was an exciting race, and especially the start, but luckily I went through without any incidents. We had a few issues with the powertrain during the first stint, but after the pit stop that improved. Nevertheless this cost us a lot of time that we couldn't recover. I was on a two-stop strategy, but we switched to a one stop because of the safety car. This could have worked well, but the safety car phase didn't help us. In addition we were simply too slow, but we managed to finish the race, which was our goal. We came close to the points, but we need to improve our speed. There is a lot of data now to analyse and we can only improve. I hope that we will progress quickly."
SUT – "Wait, I thought I left Force India. Fuck."
Esteban Gutierrez, 13th
"It was a different kind of racing today, but definitely something we take as a reference. In general we are missing speed and it's a challenge to be able to compete at the front like this. As a team, we need to make sure we put everything together because the lack of speed we have on the straight is quite significant. However, we can be very happy that we both finished the race today. This means a step forward for the team and its reliability."
GUT – "Can we go back to Jerez and do some more pre-season stuff where we kinda rocked it?"
"Seventh place is a positive way to start the season. I was very happy to see the chequered flag – the first time I've done so in Melbourne – and it's important to score some good points early on. I made a strong start and enjoyed good track position for the first two stints when I was running up in fourth. The only real issue I had was some front left graining on the soft tyres, which never really cleared up and that compromised my first two stints. It was a shame to lose two positions at my second stop [to Button and Alonso] but it looks like some of the cars around us have a bit more pace at the moment. I want to thank the team for the amazing job they've done over the winter and this weekend to get us to this point. It's been a great effort and it's nice to reward everyone with some points at the first race."
HUL – "I'm here! I might be kinda fast! Get used to it!"
Sergio Perez, 11th
"I'm satisfied to finish the race, but disappointed not to score points. My race became very difficult on lap one when I got hit by the Sauber of Gutierrez at turn three. It gave me a puncture and I had to return to the pits very slowly, which dropped me to the back of the pack. After that I just tried to keep a consistent pace on the medium tyres and I was quite fortunate that the safety car came out, which helped me recover some positions. Points were close, but my progress was hurt by being stuck behind the Sauber of Adrian for such a long time. It's positive to finish the race because it gives the team lots of information and hopefully that will make us stronger for Malaysia."
PER – "Oh, sure, the fuckers at McLaren fire the Mexican and then spend the off-season developing a car that can actually go, uh, like, fast? I spent all of last season drinking away the the pain of driving my Estrella de Oro pontoon boat of a car and now Jensen backdoors it into third with an actual, fast car?! What the FUCK, people?! Anyway, mad props to Force India for putting me in a car that is exactly as fast as the fabled fucking McLaren I had last year. Now, where did I put my michelada?"
Jean-Eric Vergne, 9th
"This is obviously a good result, even though the car was very difficult to drive. We had problems with the brakes which made us lose a lot of time but at the end we are all satisfied to finish the race with two cars in the points. I'm very pleased with the overall three points especially for the team, more than for myself. After a long difficult time and so much hard work this winter, this is a great relief for all the guys in the garage and it's nice for us drivers to be able to give them something back. It looks like things are turning well and hopefully it will always be better from now on. As for my mistake in the last corner, I was trying to defend myself from Mercedes, looking for the best line to get a good exit, but I went on the grass and I was lucky enough not to spin the car. It's really a shame but it's just the first race and I'm sure we will have plenty of opportunities to score more points. Overall, it's a good result today."
VER – "Holt shit! We finished! The Renault made it to the finish! Did anyone expect that, really? I didn't. Shit, I figured I'd be hanging my balls in the pool with the VetBot2000 after a few laps. But, hey: points! That's more than the VetBot2000 got or, heh, even Daniel. Heh."
"It was a very intense afternoon and finishing my first race with a point is a great feeling. It was a fantastic first Grand Prix weekend with the team, everyone worked really hard and scoring points was a great way to end it. So well done to everyone! The start was a bit messy, but after that I managed to get into a rhythm and the car seemed competitive compared to those around us. It was close at the end with Jev, but I had to save fuel towards the end, so I was not going to attack him. I never expected to score a point in my first race, so it feels amazing. It's a real boost for us and now we have to keep on working hard and if we keep on the way we are going, then we can look forward to a really positive season."
KVY – "If anybody needs me, I'll be in the back, whacking off to a giant pile of crude-soaked rubles."
Romain Grosjean, DNF
"In a way, it was a pretty positive day. I expected to do around 15 to 20 laps in the race after all the issues we've had this weekend, and we managed 45! We've learnt a lot today and all the changes made to the car have been positive. We still have a long way to go, but at least I know more about tyre usage, all my engineers know where we need to improve with the chassis, and we've learnt a lot about aero balance and fuel consumption. Of course there's more to do with the energy management and recovery and some work yet with the braking. We've still got lots of work to do, but we're definitely heading in the right direction."
GRO – "In a way, it was a positive day. . . .If you ignore the fact that the car sucks, that I'm teammates with Pastor Fucking Maldonado, that Boullier has left me behind, that I'm French. . . . Oh, fuck, this wasn't a positive day at all. Not at all. No, seriously, am I in some F1-themed Camus novel? Hah-ha. Ok, this shit ain't funny."
"It was obviously very disappointing, but if you look at the positives we did more laps than in the pre-season which is quite encouraging as we have more data which is very important for making progress. We had a very negative free practice but we did plenty of laps during the race which is very positive for the team. I'm looking forward to the next race and we'll keep pushing."
MAL – "Bright side: I didn't hit anybody!"
Federico Gastaldi, Lotus deputy team principal
"Though the results do not show it, everyone in the team has done a fantastic job in very challenging circumstances. Both our cars finished with problems related to the same MGU-K component so we and Renault F1 Sport both know where we have to focus for our improvements heading to Malaysia. It's clear we also have other improvements to make, but the team spirit and resolve has not diminished. We know what we have to do and we will do it."
Alan Permane, Lotus trackside operations director
"In simple terms, we've finished a disappointing weekend with a disappointing race, with neither car finishing. However the 45 laps completed by Romain's car is the longest run completed by the E22 and while we accept we're way behind, we're working hard to catch up. It's not the way we want to go racing. We need to make a big leap forward in Malaysia and we're working every hour to ensure we make this leap. I'm very sure and very confident that we'll see a big improvement in two weeks' time."
Julien Barbieux, Renault Sport F1 team support leader
"After such a difficult built up to the race it was some sort of plus to get two cars to just under half distance, but shows we are still not at the level we want. We have struggled all weekend to find the right balance between reliability and performance, but we seemed to turn a corner today and Pastor and Romain were both on the pace of the top 10. Unfortunately both drivers suffered from a malfunctioning MGU-K and were forced to retire. We've learnt a huge amount from the running as it was the first time we have completed a longer run on both cars. We have improved operationally and there will be a huge combined effort from Viry and Enstone to improve on this performance in Malaysia and get closer to the full potential of the car."
Barbieux, Permane, Gastaldi – "Does anybody have an extra can of turd polish around? We've already burned through ours. Maybe McLaren has some left from last year. Fuck."
"Today's race was by no means perfect but we have started the season with a two-car finish, and on my side a 14th place as well, so we have to be pleased with that. The start was obviously extremely concerning. I was on the grid preparing for the formation lap with the usual procedures and suddenly everything just cut out. At that point I was worried that my race was already over, but the team did a fantastic job to push me off the grid and back to the garage where they reset the car and I was able to start the race from the pit lane. From that point on I knew we had an important job to do to get the car home, but at the same time do the hard work to we needed to be able to evaluate the car over a race distance. It was quite pleasing to be able to catch Ericsson in the process. We've learned an awful lot today that will stand us in good stead as we prepare for the next race in Malaysia and also to start developing the car for the longer term. After a tough time in testing when we did not achieve all the mileage we had hoped for, it's good to take home a 14th place finish from the first race of the season. It's a nice reward for all the hard work across the whole team."
CHI – "14TH! FINISHED! AGAIN! YOU GUYS! HOW ARE NOT LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF THIS!? I PASSED SOME DUDES! SURE, SURE: HIS CAR WAS NOT REALLY RUNNING WHEN I PASSED HIM. . . BUT, HEY, A PASS IS A PASS, RIGHT? WOO-HOOOOO! SO HAPPY TO BE HERE!"
Jules Bianchi, NC
"The problem at the start was really quite worrying and I did not expect to be able to race, but the team got me to the garage and fought hard to get me back on track. I was six laps down when I did rejoin and of course I was never going to recover from that, but that was not the point. Being in the race – and finishing it – enabled us to gather the maximum amount of information and test various strategies for maximising the power unit. In many ways it was more like a test than a race for me, which was far from ideal, but as is the case in testing, the mileage was important and this will be crucial for the engineers to start moving us forward. Hopefully I will be able to benefit from this next time around. I am pleased that we have some reward for all the hard work and we look forward to better things in Malaysia."
BIA – "Mr. Consistency over there finished another fucking race and I get to do some test laps in Australia. If I have to look at that big smile and that goddamned spikey, happy hair again, I'm going slap his lucky bagpipes over his 'heed' and play that shit until he bleeds haggis out his ass."
Kamui Kobayashi, DNF
"That isn't how I wanted my first race back to go, and I'm sorry for the team and for Felipe (Massa) that both our races ended early. I had a really good start but then into turn one I made contact with Felipe. From the initial data it looked like I had a brake system issue which obviously meant I couldn't do much about the contact and when we got the car back and looked at the information in much more detail it was clear that was the problem. After the race I went to the stewards and they went through the data from the car and confirmed this was the case. We'll have a close look at what caused that problem and make sure we fix it.
"It's been a tough weekend for us, but we still have a lot more data that will help us keep improving, and the really positive thing is that we were still quite competitive, even with the issues we had on Friday. Race two is Malaysia, one of our team's home races, and we'll keep pushing there, just as we will all weekend."
KOB – "Man, I hope that Felipe understands that I was merely the vehicle for God's hatred of him."
"Even though my first race in F1 ended with a DNF I'm still proud of the way we fought today. It's been a very difficult weekend overall, one of the hardest in my whole career, but we still showed a bit of the potential we have in the first laps of the first stint when I passed Sutil and was running well in twelfth. My first ever live pit stop a Grand Prix went really well but then unfortunately an oil pressure problem forced us to stop – we don't know what caused that yet but if we hadn't had that I think we'd have finished ahead of the Marussias as I was pretty comfortable ahead of Chilton until the issue.
"Friday was tough, obviously, but we had a better Saturday and then today we started to show some of the race pace this car has. For the last few laps of the first stint I was driving with pretty flat spotted tyres but the rear was still behaving well and the Power Unit felt good. That's encouraging for the next race in Malaysia which is on a track I've raced at before and one I like, so I'm leaving Australia in a positive frame of mind and just want to get on with it again as soon as possible!"
ERI – "Fucking Chilton fucking 'Woooo-hooooooooo'ing' as he passed me. Is it going to be like this all fucking season?"
"The car performed very well today which is looking encouraging for the season ahead, and on the whole as a team we can be pleased that we have made a good step forward from last season. I'm a little disappointed with myself because I was pushing a bit too hard and hit the wall which caused a puncture and put me back a long way. I spent the rest of the race trying to make up for that mistake and managed to make some good overtakes, but I need to learn from this and make sure it doesn't happen again. It felt great to be able to race hard with people around me and I want to say a big thank you to the race team and everyone back at Grove and Brixworth who have done a great job with this car. We should have finished higher today than we did with the pace we had and I'm looking forward to seeing what we can do in Malaysia."
BOT – Oh my god! I hadn't realized how much of my energy was being spent, helping Pastor with his math and reading questions! Freed from that responsibility, I'm like a singing bird; a blossom in the Finnish Spring! In fact, when I hit that wall, I was humming a little tune to myself, so much was joy filling my heart. Now I just have to get used to Felipe, shouting all the time at the sky, 'WHY, GOD, WHHHY?' and everything should be fine. Anything's better than Pastor, walking around, asking everybody about the lyrics to 'Sabotage'."
Felipe Massa, DNF
"I'm obviously very disappointed as I had the sort of car capable of challenging for a podium today, but the incident in the first corner ruined my race. I tried to have a calm start and not take any risks, but was hit from behind after Kobayashi braked too late and there was nothing I could do to avoid being taken out of the race. It's a shame but there are a lot of positive things that the team can take from this weekend in terms of pace and reliability, so I'm just thinking about the next race and having a strong result there."
MAS – "Everybody sees Charlie Brown as a metaphor. Fuck. The only thing I'm missing is a goddamned smartassed Beagle and a best friend who carries a blanket around all the time. Funnily enough, my shrink's name is Lucy. I think I will go cry to her now and await more of God's malice in Malaysia."
"I'd have liked to start the season with a podium, but getting both cars to the flag is a good result, which can give us confidence, especially on the reliability front. I had some problems with the electric motor at the start and had to make a few changes from the steering wheel, but after the first ten laps everything went well. When I managed to pass Hulkenberg after the pit stop my pace was definitely better, although it was impossible to overtake. 35 seconds down on the leader is too big a gap and to work out what we need to do to close that gap, we will need to analyse the race, work out what are the strong and weak points on the car and with that in mind, the laps I did behind Nico can provide very useful information. We are a great team and I have total faith in our guys, because they did a great job today. We still have lots to learn about this new Formula One, as the race was very strange and very difficult. But it's only the start. We must concentrate on doing better in Malaysia."
ALO – "If anybody needs me, I'll be over here, completely content with coming in second or third or fifth to those fuckers at Mercedes, 'cause we're fucked as far as that goes. Just gimme my Ferrari chair and Sasha blowing me while I take big swigs off a bottle of that vodka Kimi's been leaving around the garage and I'll beeee juuuuuusssst fiiine."
Kimi Raikkonen, 8th
"That wasn't a straightforward race. At the start, I managed to get away well and even though I was hit from behind by another car at the first corner, my car was undamaged. The speed was good, but at one point I was suffering with graining on the front tyres, I had very little grip and a lot of understeer. From then on, the car's handling was not the same. When it was time for the first stop, we had to do a double stop and that cost me a place. It's definitely too early to make any definite judgement, because even if at the moment we don't seem to be in great shape, we still managed to finish the race, scoring valuable points. We can't be pleased with this result and we know there are many areas where we need to improve. But I'm sure that analysing the data from this first race will give us a clearer idea of the direction to work in."
RAI – "In theory, this shit should be easy, but when these fuckers can't give me a properly balanced car while I blurt out random grunts and orders through a Vodka fog, it's like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Red car, black car: just get behind the wheel and fuck off, thank you very much. Heh, at least I got out of Lotus when I did. Damn, you couldn't pay me to . . . Oh, wait: THEY DIDN'T FUCKING PAY ME. Ha-ha, bitches!"
"The first race of the championship has provided a clear picture of the hierarchy at the start of season. It's also shown which teams appear to have done the best job of dealing with these new regulations. Today, we achieved our objective in terms of reliability, but the gap we need to make up, especially to Mercedes, was clear to see. The information we have gathered this weekend clearly points to the direction we must take and what areas need the most work. It will be important to catch up as quickly as possible and react in the way this team has always proved capable of doing. Our engineers know what the priorities are and which areas need the most immediate attention."
Domenicali – "Remember how, last season, we were all 'Fucking Red Bull this and fucking Red Bull' that? Well, just take all those quotes, switch in 'Mercedes' for 'Red Bull' and fuck off."
Pat Fry, Ferrari chassis director
"Going into this race, getting both cars to the finish seemed like the most difficult task, but in the end, we managed it. Today we saw how reliability can never be taken for granted: it caught some people out and it also affected our performance at some stages of the race. On both the F14 Ts, we had some electrical problems, especially on Kimi's car, which meant he couldn't use all the car's potential. Fernando found himself behind Hulkenberg for many laps and he was only able to show what the car was capable of once he got ahead thanks to a spot on pit stop strategy. Kimi got a great start, but then for much of the race he suffered with graining on the front tyres and thus found himself having to defend, without being able to attack. There is much work ahead if we are to improve the car's performance. We are up against several very strong opponents, but we have all the right tools to get the job done of closing the gap between us."
Fry – "Augh! Kimi! Don't sic the Ice Dragons on us! We'll make the car better! We promise!"
Kevin Magnussen, 3rd
"It's just fantastic to be on the podium! What happened today just feels surreal. Being on the podium in the first race of my Formula 1 career – it's amazing. My 'moment' at the start was quite scary – I got on the power a bit too quickly, and nearly lost it. But the car was fantastic today – I was always able to place it exactly where I wanted, and I had the pace to fight the Red Bull. I had a bit of a go at Daniel towards the ends of the race, but didn't quite have the speed to get past. I want to say a big congratulations to the team for doing such a good job over the winter and for working so hard to prepare me for this – it's just crazy! Where do we go from here? Well, we need to continue improving. And I'm sure we will. I'll try to learn as much as I can, and to carry this experience forward to Malaysia. It's a completely different circuit, so there's no guarantee we'll have the sort of speed we showed here today, but I'm sure the team will keep pushing as hard as they've done already this year. I'm very happy, and I'm sure the guys are happy to be leading the constructors' world championship, as indeed I am too. That's a big boost, and the guys completely deserve it. Me? I'll just keep pushing as hard as I can."
MAG – "HOLY SHIT! I AM REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HAPPY TO BE HERE!!!!!!! THIS IS NUTS! WHERE'S MAX? HE WAS GOING TO SHOW ME HOW TO PLAY THE BAGPIPES SO JOYOUSLY!!!"
"It was a great drive by Kevin today – I had a lot of fun chasing him and Daniel down at the end of the race, but my tyres were several laps older than theirs, so it was always going to be tricky. Still, I had a good race – the car's balance wasn't quite right when I was in traffic – I struggled with understeer when I was behind people – but the car worked very well in clear air. For some reason, it seems to be more difficult to overtake now than it used to be, so we had to do it during the pit stops. During my second stop, we damaged the nose – which made it a bit cooler in the cockpit! – but the guys did a great job of putting me in the right place at the right time. When the Safety Car came out, I quickly dived into the pit lane at the last second – which gained me a couple of places. And then the second stop gained me a couple more. They were both great calls. As a team, I think we can be very proud of the job we did today. I don't think we expected to be leading the constructors' world championship at the end of this weekend, but I think the pace in the car is generally there: in clear air, we seem capable of fighting every team except one. I'm really looking forward to getting back in the car in Malaysia. It's been an emotional day for me, but it's been great to have my sister, my fiancée and lots of friends around me, so that definitely helped."
BUT – "Yep, and I'm hot. Really hot."
"To be in first place in the constructors' world championship is a very nice feeling, but let's not forget that today's race was only the first of 19, and I'll be a lot happier if we're still in first place in the constructors' world championship after the 19th race! Having said that, I'm not making any predictions, and it's clear that we've got a lot of work to do in order to close the performance gap between our car and the fastest car. Kevin scored 18 of the 33 constructors' world championship points we racked up today, Jenson 15, and both guys drove superbly. Indeed, Kevin's drive was one of the finest performances by a Formula 1 rookie in living memory. Despite his youth and inexperience, he drove like a man who'd notched up 100 grands prix already. It was a complex and challenging race, yet he managed those complexities and challenges faultlessly. Jenson recovered skilfully from his disappointing qualifying result, which was the result of his not being able to put in a final quick lap owing to inopportune yellow flags, and drove the sort of measured yet combative race that he's become famous for. Finally, I want to give a huge amount of credit to the guys, not only here in Melbourne but also in Woking and Brixworth, who have done such sterling work to deliver such a solid and reliable car for Kevin and Jenson to race here today. Our next stop is Malaysia, which will be hot and hard. But we're ready for the challenge."
Boullier – "Well, I don't know. Kimi won't talk to anybody and there are Vodka bottles every where and Romain is just nuts and we're out of money so, fuck, I don't kno . . . . . . What? What's that? I don't work at Lotus anymore? I work at McLaren?! What? And McLaren doesn't suck this year? OhhhhhHHhhhh. Sorry: I just came in my pants."
Posted in F1 Drivers Translated	| Tagged Daniil Kvyat, Felipe Massa, Fernando Alonso, Formula One, Jenson Button, Kevin Magnussen, Kimi Räikkönen, Lewis Hamilton, Marcus Ericsson, Max Chilton, Nico Hülkenberg, Nico Rosberg, Pastor Maldonado, Red Bull Racing, Romain Grosjean, Sebastian Vettel, Sergio Pérez	| Leave a reply
2014 Australian Grand Prix GIF Review
Daniil Kyvat
Posted in F1 GIF Recaps, GIF-Tastic	| Tagged Esteban Gutierrez, Felipe Massa, Fernando Alonso, Formula One, Jenson Button, Kevin Magnussen, Kimi Räikkönen, Lewis Hamilton, Max Chilton, Nico Hülkenberg, Nico Rosberg, Pastor Maldonado, Romain Grosjean, Sebastian Vettel, Sergio Pérez	| Leave a reply
F1 Driver Ringtones: Kimi Raikkonen: Seven
Posted on January 10, 2014 by Fygar
This one goes out to the only F1 Driver who was all, "This is my fucking number. It's the same number I had last year. This number business is bullshit. Seven, motherfuckers. Fucking deal"
If Prince wasn't such a control freak when it came to his shit being on youtube, I'd've use his "Seven" which, what with the maniacal laughter and the dope beats and the allusions to epic, god-like ownage, seems more "Kimi" than even Kimi. But, this They Might Be Giants song is really cute!
Posted in Driver Ringtones	| Tagged F1 Ringtones, Kimi Räikkönen	| 1 Reply
2013 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Post-Race Drivers' Quotes, Translated
Posted on November 5, 2013 by Fygar
So happy for Nico. So happy. So very, very happy.
Sebastian Vettel, 1st
"I think today was incredible; the pace we had was scary at some stages, I felt very, very good on the soft tyres and was able to pull out a good gap in the first couple of laps. I think it's difficult, being an active member of the team, to put things like today into perspective. When I think of the times we've experienced over the last few years, it's incredible to have a strong group of people together that believes so much in what they do. To be part of that is great and makes me proud. The car was so enjoyable on every single lap. There are not that many races when you are in complete control of the car – so it's special. I didn't get the maximum out of myself yesterday, but we made up for it today."
VET – "Fucking Rocky, making me fucking rein my shit in. It's bullshit. Why do I need to do those doughnuts at the end of the race? It's not a celebration! It's all my pent-up glory!! That's the price of forcing me to contain my true potential: I'm'a gonna turn this F1 shit into some NASCAR, dick-wagglin' malarky."
Mark Webber, 2nd
"Seb was on another planet today and was very, very strong in the first stint. He was super quick and his tyres didn't wear out, which is a recipe for disaster for the rest of the opposition, me included. Nico had a very good start on both Sebastian and I, but fortunately it wasn't a long run to the first corner. We got under way from there and I attacked Nico on the first lap, but then we had to look after the tyres, so we waited and then on lap eight or nine we were in trouble with the rears. I made a good move on Nico to get back into position. It would have been good to win, but we got second and I'll go to Austin and try and do better."
WEB – "I wonder if I'll look back on all this and think that, maybe, I should've been nicer to Adrian?"
Nico Rosberg, 3rd
"I had a great start to the race and was able to catch Mark off the line. I thought there might be a chance to get Seb but it wasn't quite possible. I was able to push hard in the first stint on the option tyres but the second stint wasn't quite as good as the car had a lot of oversteer on the primes and Mark was able to pass me. After the second stop, the set-up worked much better and we were able to set some really good lap times. We didn't quite manage to take the challenge to the Red Bulls today but we were closer at least to one of them and hopefully we can make it happen in the last two races. As a team, we scored some great points for the Constructors' Championship this weekend and I'm very happy about that."
ROS – "Hey-hey, y'all! I'll tell you one thing: the rosewater wasn't the only thing poppin' up on that 3rd place podium, yo! Only a few people know that when my eyes get all squinty and glazed over like that, it only means one thing: Angels. On my dick. Dancing. 'Til I come. Why? Hammy's tears, Hammy's tears. Sigh."
Lewis Hamilton, 7th
"That was a tough race this evening for me. My race just didn't quite come together and I'm not really sure why as I gave it my all out there. I had some problems with grip and, of course, it's so difficult to overtake here when you are in traffic but we also need to figure out why I'm not getting the maximum performance from the car at the moment. The guys worked so hard this weekend to get my car repaired and ready for the race so it's frustrating not to have delivered a better performance for them. A massive thank you to everyone for their efforts and it's great that we have extended our lead for P2 in the Constructors' Championship. All points count but Nico did a really good job today to maximise the potential of the car. Hopefully the last two races will be stronger for me and I look forward to that challenge."
HAM – I suppose, really, that this is just God, testing me. Everyone at church who has, like, really crappy things happen to them, that's how they rationalize it: 'It was god's will.' So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to just keep telling myself it was God's will that Felipe FUCKING MASSA PASSED ME. AUUUGHH!!! Oh, man. This is harder than I thought. It was God's will. It was God's will that MassA PassssSSEDDD MEEE.. . .. . ..AUGHH! You forsaking motherfucker!!!!!!! MASSSAAA???!!! AUGHHGH!!!!! Bless."
Romain Grosjean, 4th
"That was a pretty long race. I got a good start and made up two places in the first few corners, but after that I lost a lot of time behind the Force India. I could overtake him with the DRS, but he had much better top speed and could just drive straight back past at the next straight. That middle stint cost us the chance of a podium in the end, and on pace we could maybe even have pushed Mark [Webber] for second place, but that's how it goes sometimes. It's a shame we couldn't make it four podiums in a row, but to come away with fourth place after a difficult couple of days is a decent result."
GRO – "Not only are they paying me and not Kimi, but they secretly gave me his car, too."
Kimi Raikkonen, DNF
"There was some contact in front of me through the first corner so I stuck to the inside, but unfortunately one of the Caterhams touched my front wheel and it broke the track rod. It wasn't a heavy impact, but the angle made it worse. It's never easy starting so far back on the grid, but after the penalty it was a better choice to help our chances in the race rather than starting from the pit lane. After a difficult start to the weekend we did well yesterday so it was a shame we couldn't start where we qualified, but these things happen sometimes; it's just back luck."
RAI – "What? Eh? Sorry, I can't hear your insipid, dumbass questions over the sound of my flip-flops heading towards the door. KIMI OUT!"
"I am happy to have brought home points for the team in a race that was always going to be tough, on what has been a very difficult weekend for us. Given the gap to the top four, I certainly couldn't have done more. Starting from further back, we knew we would find ourselves in traffic, therefore having done well at the start, I tried to overtake as much as possible. When we saw that we were always behind another car, it became impossible to think in terms of a single stop and it was clearly better to switch to two and attack. As the Mediums were holding up quite well, we thought we'd use the Softs for a short stint to try and do a series of quick laps. As for what happened with Vergne after the second pit stop, I don't know what the stewards will say, but the rule states that if you have an equal amount of car to the other one on the track then you can use all the space. But this was only one incident in a race which, for me, was fantastic. Now, if we don't want to give up our fight in the Constructors' Championship, we absolutely must do better and finish the last two races on the podium."
ALO – "You know. . . Shit, I don't even know what to say. You know that scene in Lord of the Rings where Gandalf is being all badass to the fire demon thing? What is it? The Balrog? Anyway, I'm like Gandalf, you know? I'm a fucking wizard in this car. . . this fucking Hobbit car. And I'm being all bad ass and doing my best and then, at the last moment, right, the goddamn Balrog sucks me down that endless pit into oblivion. So frustrating. 'Oh, but Gandalf comes back as Gandalf the White and he's more powerful than ever!' you say. Yeah, well, take that and second place in the WDC and stick it up your fucking LOTR freakazoid ass!"
"Today I was competitive from start to finish and pulled off a lot of passing moves with a car that handled well. It was a great race. Our strategy was based on a single stop, but when we realised that the pace was too quick for the rear tyres and the wear was greater than expected, we decided to make a second stop so as not to take any risks. Fitting the Mediums rather than the Softs was not the best decision, because the softer compound was quicker by at least a second per lap: I'd managed to do 19 laps on them in the first stint and it would not have been a problem to do the same in the final part of the race.It's a real shame, because we could have finished at least fifth, but even if this is not the result we deserved, I am still pleased with my performance. Now we head for Texas and Brazil, two tracks that on paper should suit our car better and where I hope I can continue to be competitive."
MAS – "Yo-ho! Still here! Fuck that Hulkenberg Fever! Get yo'self some hot Massa action for your team! Cheap!"
Paul di Resta, 6th
"It's a great feeling to finish sixth and make the one-stop strategy work. I said yesterday that we had opted to set the car up more for the race and it really paid off today. There were times when we had to be very quick and times when we had to manage the pace and look after the tyres. Towards the end of the race I was battling with Fernando and Lewis, but it was impossible to hold Fernando back because he was on much fresher soft tyres. Lewis was on the mediums so I just focussed on getting clean exits from the hairpin and the chicane leading onto the long straights, and was able to stay ahead. The eight points are just what we needed and everybody in the team deserves credit for the big effort that has gone in this week. That's two strong weekends in a row and we will move to Austin determined to keep up the momentum."
RES – "Please don't fire me."
"Considering that I started in P17 I have to be quite satisfied about scoring a point and I'm happy about the team result today. It's not been an easy weekend with the problems I had during practice and qualifying, but the strategy today was the right one and we came away with a point. I was running in ninth until the last lap ahead of Perez, but by that time I had done 27 laps on the soft tyres and it was very hard to defend because I had no traction out of the slow speed corners. The points scored in the last two races have been very important for the championship position."
SUT – Feel that hot, fucking breath on your neck McLaren? That's motherfucking Force fucking India right up on your ass! Hope you losers find the magic pontoons or Sergio's Uncle drives that Flecha Roja bus up from Guadalajara or some shit. 'Cause you are about to get the beat-down from Force India! Respect!"
Sergio Perez, 9th
"This was a very complicated race – and harder than we'd expected. I struggled a little on my first set of Prime tyres, and I'm not too sure why. We had bad rear tyre degradation and poor traction overall. We'd opted to run with minimal downforce in the hope of being able to pass other cars in the race. But, despite that, in the event I found it difficult to overtake, and the fact that I spent a lot of the race stuck in traffic therefore made things very difficult. Still, it was a positive to be able to take ninth position from Adrian [Sutil] on the very last lap – one more point for the team may not sound much but it's always helpful. The next race is in Austin [Texas, USA]. I can't wait to go racing again so close to my home [Mexico], and to see the people who've supported me so well during this difficult season."
PER – "I can't wait for my uncle, Paco, to get up to Austin with that bus he promised me. He's been running it around the Mexico City GP track and swears that thing does comparable lap times to the MP4-28. Shit, it's easier on tyres and has a little blender for margaritas and pina coladas. Which, hey, after this season in this car, we could all use a drink. . . Am I right, people?!"
"You make your own luck when you start down in 12th – where first-lap congestion is inevitable – and, sure enough, there was a little bit of argy-bargy into Turn One. I duly locked-up both my front tyres, couldn't slow the car down sufficiently, and drove into the back of Paul [di Resta], which broke my front-wing end-plate. It's a real pity to keep on having first-lap incidents, especially when the car is working reasonably well now. I've been in a similar situation for the past two races, and things haven't really gone my way. Still, I managed 44 laps on the Prime – and, in terms of getting the most out of what we had, that felt positive. So, all in all, given how far behind we were after lap two [when he made his unscheduled early pit-stop], to finish so close to 10th by the chequer wasn't so bad."
BUT – "I'm just sort of glad I'm British right now. Between kidney pie and Benny Hill and Eddie "The Eagle", we're just sort of used to putting a good face on complete and total suck. I'm not even sure how Checo is keeping his shit together. He's always wandering around the garage, muttering about buses and his uncle and 10 peso trips to Acapulco to go foam dancing. At least I'm still the cutest F1 dri. . . . What? What's that? Gutierrez has been voted "Cutest F1 Driver" this week??!!! Fuck."
"Today was a very tough race from the perspective of trying to manage the tyres, but we managed to cope with it pretty well. I certainly feel that the pace and consistency of the car has improved with the new aero package we ran this weekend and I could feel that the car was improving as the race went on. Unfortunately I came out in to traffic after my second pitstop which meant that I couldn't really show the improved pace we had, and in the end I had to settle for a finish just outside the points. Overall the weekend has seen some positive steps forward which will give us a boost for the next race."
MAL – "Yeah, I came in 11th. Man, what's this giant wad in my pocket? Oh, look! It's 10 million American Dollars that say 11th is the new 10th. What's that? These dollars smell like oil? Oh, I'll find someone who wants my stinky dollars."
Valtteri Bottas, 15th
"I don't think P15 was really reflective of the pace we had today. My race was compromised by the first lap when I was jumped by the Caterhams who started on the option tyres and so had more grip and were able to overtake me. After the prime tyres started to work my race pace was very good and I was able to fight hard with the cars around me. The positive from this weekend is that the car is feeling better and we have definitely made some gains which is promising for the final two races."
BOT – "'Jumped by Caterhams. Jumped by Caterhams. Have I ever told you how I get freaked out by Kindergartners? Yeah, I have to cross the street when I see those little fuckers coming down the sidewalk. Little fucking monsters. Them and the Caterhams."
"Obviously we were looking for a better result this weekend, so we can not be happy. The pace is there, but qualifying yesterday affected the race today. Our strategy today wasn't ideal either. I still had some good fights going on today, which I enjoyed, so I will take those positives with me and look forward to Austin."
GUT – "Still super cute! And not in a McLaren!"
Nico Hulkenberg, 14th
"I'm not quite sure what happened today. I had felt comfortable with the car all weekend, but from lap one I was struggling with it. All the balance and the confidence I had was gone today, and I don't know why. I had a lot of understeer in the first two stints. I couldn't really rotate the car, which cost a lot of lap time. Then the unsafe release during my second pit stop, which resulted in a drive through penalty, was also quite costly. Now we have to evaluate as to why the car was so different today. It is disappointing, because there was a realistic chance for points today."
HUL – "I need to find out what the hell Massa is smoking. I heard he's got a little bottle he uses to collect 'Nando's tears and he drinks that shit and it's like he's Kurt Russell in some fucking Disney movie!"
Daniel Ricciardo, 16th
"This was not at all the race I was hoping for. In this sport, if the start doesn't go well, it's hard to recover, so I want to look at the data to understand what happened. The car didn't get off the line well and then, at Turn 1 there was a bit of chaos as I dropped back into the group behind me. I had to run wide to avoid some accidents and from then on, my race was pretty much over. At the moment, our pace is not sufficient to fight back into the top ten if something like this happens. We must see what we can do to have better starts, because when we get good ones, we have generally gone on to score points."
RIC – "Here's a litany of empty excuses I need to burn up before the end of this season."
Jean-Eric Vergne, 17th
"This is a very disappointing result. To sum it up, going for a one stop strategy was the right decision, but we made the change from Soft to Medium a little bit too early, so there was no life in the tyres towards the end, just as all that group of cars came up behind me. The original plan was for a two stop, but looking at how the race was developing, we decided to take this gamble, but it didn't pay off. I tried all I could to keep the tyres alive, but it was not enough. A shame, as I was in the points for most of the race, especially as the car felt good and I was running at a strong pace. It seems that luck is just not on my side this season, as it's not the first time I've been having a good race until circumstances have worked against me. The incident with Alonso? For a while now, if a driver puts a wheel outside the track when overtaking he gets a penalty and he had four wheels outside the line. In any case, he would have passed me down the next straight as I was struggling with my tyres by then."
VER – "Mostly what I do at this point is pretend I'm in really deep, existentialist French film and I pretend there are all these hot, American undergrads really enjoying the movie and that's pretty much what gives my life meaning right now."
Giedo van der Garde, 18th
"I have to say that's one of my best ever races. The car was great today and the work the boys did in the stops, they were really on it and that helped a lot in the race. At the start I was ahead of Raikkonen who made contact with my left rear in turn one. I nearly spun after the contact, and lost a bit of time to my teammate and Chilton, but both Charles and I passed him by the end of the second lap and then we also got Bottas. I'm obviously pleased the luck went my way this time and I made it through the first lap and from there the car was feeling great, just really well balanced. In the first stop I went from softs to mediums and I could really push everywhere – I had a bit of oversteer but nothing too bad. I was behind my teammate after the stops but had more pace and the team made the call to let me past – with clear air I could really push and opened up a gap to him right to the flag. We know we need more luck and things to happen to the cars ahead to be able to get back tenth place in the championship, but it's still good to have finished so far ahead of our nearest rivals. We need to carry that form through for the final two races and I know that if things come our way, we can do what's required to finish my rookie season on a really positive note."
GAR – "Fuck yeah! Fucking happy to be here!"
Charles Pic, 19th
"The car's been understeering all weekend and it just carried on the same today in the race. I had an ok start, passed Chilton and Bottas by the end of lap two and was immediately pulling away until the first stop on lap eight when we went from options to primes. In the second stint the car just didn't have any balance I could work with. I was ahead of Giedo but the team told me to let him pass so I did but with the way the car felt I couldn't get any more out of it. That was the same pretty much right to the flag – in the final stint it felt a bit better but still nowhere near enough what I'd wanted."
PIC – "Yup, as I predicted: it was all sandy clag with some hummus and baba ganoush this weekend. All the LED lights and money in the world ain't gonna give this shit flavor. Next race: The States! Texas! Tacos and clag! Guns and clag!"
"I think we are quite surprised by our performance today after we had seemed to arrive at an improvement in qualifying. It was a very long race, I have to say. The car balance was not as we expected and I had to really push very hard to keep pace with the Caterhams, which is not ideal for managing the tyres. I think we will have to have a good look at everything before we go to Austin as, in theory, our new developments had seemed positive. It has been a tough weekend so we hope for better things in the final two races."
BIA – "Is this shit over yet? What? We're supposed to do this 22 times next year??!!!?? Fuck."
Max Chilton, 21st
"That was a tough race for us today. We've made some good progress this weekend but for some reason we were unable to show that today. The start was good – again – so well done to the Team for getting on top of that because that last few races have been very good in that respect. Into the race the car balance was difficult and we were just battling for pace. It's a shame, because our new developments seemed positive, but they haven't translated into the race today. On the plus side, I finished yet another race – so that's 17 out of 17 now – and of course we still hold position in the Constructors' Championship. I think we have a lot of work to do to get on top of this before Austin as we need two strong final races."
CHI – "GUYS!!! FUCKING 17 IN A ROW!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT!!!????? WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
"First of all, congratulations to Sebastian Vettel for winning this race. A variety of strategies were deployed, with good levels of wear and degradation on both compounds, which meant that drivers were able to complete long opening stints even on the soft tyre. Sebastian drove a masterful race to win without ever losing the lead, making the most of the fact that he had not used the medium compound at all in qualifying, leaving him with two fresh sets of mediums today. As usual we saw a high degree of track evolution and falling track temperatures over the course of the race, although perhaps not to the extent we actually anticipated."
Hembrey – "As always: double finger to you fucking assholes blaming the tyres on your shit-ass results."
Posted in F1 Drivers Translated	| Tagged Felipe Massa, Fernando Alonso, Formula One, Jenson Button, Kimi Räikkönen, Lewis Hamilton, Mark Webber, Max Chilton, Nico Hülkenberg, Nico Rosberg, Pastor Maldonado, Romain Grosjean, Sebastian Vettel, Sergio Pérez	| Leave a reply


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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


Ancient Aesthetics of Japan: Wabi-sabi (Japanese Culture) | Goin' Japanesque!
Japanese culture boasts a variety of unique aspects: the dramas of Noh and Kabuki, the tea ceremony, calligraphy and bonsai, to name a few. One reason these forms are acknowledged as unique is owing to a deep connection with the particular modes of Japanese aesthetic thought. Today, we'd like to tell you in detail about wabi-sabi, one of the most representative of these modes. Understand the philosophy of wabi-sabi, and you'll gain an appreciation for the more profound parts of Japanese culture.
Though this compound is usually encountered as a set, it actually refers to two separate ways of thinking, "wabi" and "sabi", even as the two share a deep-seated connection. One feature of "wabi-sabi" is its ambiguity, as it doesn't have a precise definition. Perhaps this ambiguity is one of the reasons for the individual character of the products of Japanese culture.
Stemming originally from the verb "wabiru," "wabi" refers to an unadorned or coarse appearance. When imbued with aesthetic significance, it comes to represent an awareness which strives to discover emotional satisfaction among poverty and lack.
Similar to "wabi," "sabi" also comes from a verb ("sabiru"), and indicates an aged or deteriorated state. When "sabi" is given aesthetic significance, it speaks to the diverse, unique beauty woven by that which decays with the passage of time.
Within something decayed with age and said to have "sabi," there is a feeling of poorness and insufficiency called "wabi". Imperfect beauty is found in deteriorated things; in other words, a "wabi" heart discovers "sabi" beauty. The former describes a state of the human spirit and the latter an appearance of the world—they are two sides of the same coin.
Both "wabi" and "sabi" referred at first not to things of the aesthetic realm but instead to negative concepts. However, they came to express the sense of beauty that the Japanese felt for simple, quiet things, thus taking on positive meaning. Awareness of "wabi-sabi" has been widely taken up by other Japanese traditional practices and art forms of yore, which have come to adopt not gaudy gorgeousness but the spiritual quietude loved by the people of Japan.