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Home→1J0973703 kit, Flat Contact Housing Withcontact Locking Mechanism
1J0973703, Flat Contact Housing Withcontact Locking Mechanism
This part has been superseded. You can find detailed info below.
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This is a flat contact housing withcontact locking mechanism for Audi, Seat, Skoda and Volkswagen vehicles. It fits for 153 Volkswagen Group vehicles which were sold in Local Market, USA, Mexico, China, FAW VW, Brazil, South Africa, Argentina, Shanghai, Czech Republic, and Spain. It's a genuine VAG kit with an OEM part number 1J0973703, part of electrical individual parts. Please keep in mind that this flat contact housing withcontact locking mechanism was replaced with 3D0973703 for Volkswagen on South Africa, Mexico, Brazil, the U.S., and Argentina markets on January 1, 2011, and was replaced with 3D0973703 for Audi on South Africa, Mexico, Brazil, the U.S., and Argentina markets on January 1, 2011, and was replaced with 3D0973703 for Skoda on Czech Republic market on December 1, 2006, and was replaced with 3D0973703 for Seat on Spain market on September 20, 2006.
This flat contact housing withcontact locking mechanism has manufacturer's warranty and 100% fits for Volkswagen Group cars. It's made of , it has passed not only all manufacturer's tests but also Volkswagen Group quality control and has to endure rough road conditions over a long time.
This kit has a standard 1 year or 12,000 miles (whichever occurs first) VAG warranty on new and factory-remanufactured replacement parts and accessories.
In spite of higher price of genuine parts buying VAG (VW) genuine flat contact housing withcontact locking mechanism will be a smart decision, because you will be absolutely sure that VAG (VW) genuine flat contact housing withcontact locking mechanism will serve you longer and will provide maximum safety and performance.
Shops selling VAG (VW) 1J0973703 flat contact housing withcontact locking mechanism
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1J0973703 is a kit which consits of 1 part
1. Flat Contact Housing With Contact Locking Mechanism 1J0973803
3 pin black
Part 1J0973703 was superseded on Volkswagen, Audi, Skoda and Seat cars
Was replaced by: 3D0973703 on Jan 1, 2011.
Was replaced by: 3D0973703 on Nov 1, 2006.
Was replaced by: 3D0973703 on Jul 29, 2006.
For all other regions
Was replaced by: 3D0973703 on May 1, 2006.
Was replaced by: 3D0973703 on Dec 1, 2006.
Was replaced by: 3D0973703 on Sep 20, 2006.
Browse to find other vehicles 1J0973703 fits
Caddy Local Market 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2011 For VINs from 2K-B-200 001, 2012 For VINs from 2K-B-200 001, 2013 For VINs from 2K-B-200 001, 2014 For VINs from 2K-B-200 001, 2015 For VINs from 2K-B-200 001
Campmobile (Type 2, Transporter, LT) Local Market 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Eos Local Market 2006, 2007, 2008
Golf, Variant, 4Motion Local Market 1998 For VINs from 1J-W-000 001, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 For VINs from 1J-4-000 001, 2004 For VINs from 1K-4-000 001, 2005 For VINs from 1J-5-000 001, 2005 For VINs from 1K-4-000 001, 2006 For VINs from 1J-6-000 001, 2006 For VINs from 1K-6-000 001, 2007 Golf, 2008 Golf, 2009 Golf >> 1K-9-200 000
Golf Plus Local Market 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 For VINs to 1K-9-899 999
Passat, 4Motion, Santana Local Market 1997 For VINs from 3B-V-000 001, 1998, 1999, 2000 Passat, 2000 Passat 4Motion, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Passat syncro Local Market 1997 For VINs from 3B-V-000 001, 1998, 1999
Phaeton Local Market 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 For VINs to 3D-9-006 000
Polo, Derby, Vento-IND Local Market 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000 For VINs to 6N-YY050 000, 2000 For VINs from 6N-YY500 001, 2001, 2002 For VINs to 6N-2-010 000, 2002 For VINs from 9N-2-000 001, 2003, 2004, 2005 For VINs to 9N-5-180 000, 2005 For VINs from 9N-5-500 001, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 For VINs from 9N-A-000 001 to 9N-A-050 001
Sharan, syncro, 4Motion Local Market 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Touran Local Market 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Touareg Local Market 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 For VINs start with 7LA, 2007 For VINs start with 7L6, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2015
Transporter Local Market 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 For VINs from 70-3-000 001 to 70-3-250 000, 2003 For VINs from 7H-3-000 001 to 7H-3-001 000, 2003 For VINs from 7J-3-000 001 to 7J-3-001 000, 2004 For VINs from 70-4-000 001 to 70-4-099 000, 2004 For VINs from 7H-4-000 001 to 7H-4-150 000, 2004 For VINs from 7J-4-000 001 to 7J-4-050 000, 2005 For VINs from 7H-5-000 001 to 7H-5-120 000, 2005 For VINs from 7J-5-000 001 to 7J-5-040 000, 2006 For VINs from 7H-6-000 001 to 7H-6-200 000, 2006 For VINs from 7J-6-000 001 to 7J-6-050 000, 2007 For VINs from 7H-7-000 001 to 7H-7-200 000, 2007 For VINs from 7J-7-000 001 to 7J-7-040 000, 2008 For VINs from 7H-8-000 001 to 7H-8-200 000, 2008 For VINs from 7J-8-000 001 to 7J-8-030 000
Eos USA 2007, 2008
EuroVan USA 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 For VINs to 70-4-099 000
Golf, R32, GTI, Rabbit (D) USA 2004 Golf R32, 2006 Golf/GTI, 2007 Rabbit/GTI, 2008, 2009
Jetta Variant USA 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006
Passat USA 2001 For VINs from 3B-1-050 001, 2002 For VINs from 3B-1-050 001, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Phaeton USA 2004, 2005, 2006
Touareg USA 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 For VINs start with 7LA, 2007 For VINs start with 7L6, 2008, 2009, 2010
Jetta Variant Mexico 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005
Passat, 4Motion Mexico 1997 For VINs from 3B-V-000 001, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Sharan Mexico 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Touareg Mexico 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 For VINs start with 7LA, 2007 For VINs start with 7L6, 2008, 2009, 2010
Transporter Mexico 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 For VINs from 70-3-000 001 to 70-3-250 000, 2003 For VINs from 7H-3-000 001 to 7H-3-001 000, 2003 For VINs from 7J-3-000 001 to 7J-3-001 000, 2004 For VINs from 70-4-000 001 to 70-4-099 000, 2004 For VINs from 7H-4-000 001 to 7H-4-150 000, 2004 For VINs from 7J-4-000 001 to 7J-4-050 000, 2005 For VINs from 7H-5-000 001 to 7H-5-120 000, 2005 For VINs from 7J-5-000 001 to 7J-5-040 000, 2006 For VINs from 7H-6-000 001 to 7H-6-200 000, 2006 For VINs from 7J-6-000 001 to 7J-6-050 000, 2007 For VINs from 7H-7-000 001 to 7H-7-200 000, 2007 For VINs from 7J-7-000 001 to 7J-7-040 000, 2008 For VINs from 7H-8-000 001 to 7H-8-200 000, 2008 For VINs from 7J-8-000 001 to 7J-8-030 000
Golf China 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 For VINs from 1J-9-000 001, 2009 For VINs from 1K-9-200 001, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 For VINs from 1K-D-000 001, 2014 For VINs from 1K-E-000 001
Magotan China 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011
Passat, Variant (D) Brazil 2006, 2007, 2008
Polo Brazil 2007 Polo-EU, 2008 Polo-EU, 2009 Polo-EU 9N-9-000 001 >>, 2010 For VINs from 9N-A 000 001 to 9N-A 050 000
Touareg (D) Brazil 2006, 2007 For VINs start with 7LA, 2007 For VINs start with 7L6, 2008, 2009, 2010
Caddy (D) South Africa 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2011 For VINs from 2K-B-200 001, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015
Campmobile-T5 South Africa 2007, 2008
Eos South Africa 2007, 2008
Jetta South Africa 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 For VINs from 1J-6-000 001
Passat, Variant, 4Motion South Africa 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Vento, Classic-IND South Africa 2003 For VINs to 9N-5-050 000, 2004 For VINs to 9N-5-050 000, 2005 For VINs to 9N-5-050 000, 2005 For VINs from 9N-6-000 001, 2006, 2007, 2008 For VINs to 9N-8-300 000, 2008 For VINs from 9N-9-000 001 to 9N-9-300 000, 2009 For VINs from 9N-9-000 001 to 9N-9-300 000, 2010 For VINs from 9N-A-000 001 to 9N-A-050 000
Polo Classic, Playa South Africa 2003 For VINs from 3N-3-000 001, 2004, 2005 For VINs from 9N-5-000 001 to 9N-5-034 480, 2005 For VINs from 9N-6-000 001, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010
Sharan South Africa 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Touran South Africa 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Touareg South Africa 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 For VINs start with 7LA, 2007 For VINs start with 7L6, 2008, 2009, 2010
Transporter South Africa 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 For VINs from 70-3-000 001 to 70-3-250 000, 2003 For VINs from 7H-3-000 001 to 7H-3-001 000, 2003 For VINs from 7J-3-000 001 to 7J-3-001 000, 2004 For VINs from 70-4-000 001 to 70-4-099 000, 2004 For VINs from 7H-4-000 001 to 7H-4-150 000, 2004 For VINs from 7J-4-000 001 to 7J-4-050 000, 2005 For VINs from 7H-5-000 001 to 7H-5-120 000, 2005 For VINs from 7J-5-000 001 to 7J-5-040 000, 2006 For VINs from 7H-6-000 001 to 7H-6-200 000, 2006 For VINs from 7J-6-000 001 to 7J-6-050 000, 2007 For VINs from 7H-7-000 001 to 7H-7-200 000, 2007 For VINs from 7J-7-000 001 to 7J-7-040 000, 2008 For VINs from 7H-8-000 001 to 7H-8-200 000, 2008 For VINs from 7J-8-000 001 to 7J-8-030 000
Passat, 4Motion Argentina 1997 For VINs from 3B-V-000 001, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Sharan Argentina 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Touareg Argentina 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 For VINs start with 7LA, 2007 For VINs start with 7L6, 2008, 2009, 2010
Transporter Argentina 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2008
Santana 2000, 3000 Shanghai 2004 Santana 3000, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014
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https://oemwolf.com/oem-parts/1j0973703.html - 1J0973703 Flat Contact Housing Withcontact Locking Mechanism Audi, Seat, Skoda, Volkswagen genuine OEM part
1J0973703, Flat Contact Housing Withcontact Locking Mechanism Audi, Seat, Skoda, Volkswagen genuine OEM part


Diabetic hyperosmolar syndrome is characterized by an abnormally high blood sugar, ranging up to 600 milligrams per deciliter. In this case, the blood becomes syrupy and thick. This excess sugar in the blood passes on to the urine, which then triggers the filtering process, which will draw a great amount of fluid from the body.
Diagnosis is based on the blood sugar level that reaches 600 mg/dL or even higher. The nitrogen and the creatinine levels are also checked to make sure the kidneys are still working properly.
This medical condition requires emergency treatment without a few hours through the administration of intravenous fluid. This is done to restore the fluids in the tissues as well as other supplements loss during the ailment. Any underlying infections need to be diagnosed and treated.
Diabetic hyperosmolar syndrome usually takes several days to weeks to develop. Symptoms include excessive thirst, high blood sugar level, vision loss, increase urination, parched mouth, and weakness on one side of the body.
Diabetic hyperosmolar syndrome is usually triggered by illness as part of its complications, an underlying form of infection, substance abuse, not following diabetes treatment plan may also be triggered by some medications.


Gates of the Boston Public Garden. Here's a another view of the gates.
Beautiful crisp shot framed with a sense of echoes. Very nice.
Have a great weekend in the lovely city of Boston!
This is a wonderful image of artful metalsmith' work.
LOVE the colors! And not one speck of city dust on those gates!
i like it. great composition!
Nice shot. Lots of good things going on. Great subject.


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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


1. God of War III - PS3 - Terrific game, enjoyed it all the way through. 10/10.
2. BlazBlue: Continuum Shift - PS3 - Great fighting game. Easy to get into, but the skill ceiling is endless. 9/10.
3. Costume Quest - PC - Fantastic little game. Fabulous atmosphere and humour. I beat the game and the DLC (Grubbins on Ice) as well. 9/10.
4. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance - PS3 - Fun action game. Story is a bit cheesy. 8/10.
5. Pure - PS3 - Too frustrating to be enjoyable. Randomness plays too much of a part in the racing events. 6/10.
6. Heaveny Sword - PS3 - Pretty good action beat-em-up style game. Clunky controls (in parts) let it down a bit. 7/10.
Going to try and track this in 2018.
April 9 - Raiden V: Director's Cut (PS4) - this was a "credit feed" win, not a 1CC, and I got the "bad" ending.
May 16 - R-Type (Game Boy) - not a 1CC, but I did both loops on 2 credits, which wasn't too bad.
September 5 - Sonic Forces (Switch) - main story campaign only, not the bonus missions. Fun game!
12/03 - BioShock 2 (PS4) - Platinum Trophy!


Finally got my Rakata Adrenal earlier yesterday, so I decided to film more fights.
Ending is just too funny no matter how many times I watch it. No offense to Archaos and Towelliee ;].
I'm not very good at editing or making vids :[. If anyone is skilled at editing vids and would like to help improve this movie, pls let me know :].


text:
Magstim receive a contract from the Veteran Administration
Rosie@Magstim
Morrisville, NC, October 17, 2017 -- Magstim, a pioneer in the study and development of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), has received a contract from the Veterans Administration to help treat Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) in Veterans who have failed to achieve satisfactory improvement from prior antidepressant medication.
Magstim have received a contract from the VA to help treat MDD in USA Veterans
TMS is a non-invasive procedure that employs magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to reduce symptoms of depression. The device has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) whose indication statement describes TMS as "an effective therapy for adults with MDD who have failed to achieve satisfactory improvement from prior antidepressant medication in the current episode."
The RAND Center for Military Health Policy Research says 300,000 (~20%) of the 1.7 million Veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder or major depression. It has been estimated that 14% experience depression after deployment – though the percentage is almost certainly higher because many Veterans don't seek care. In addition, active military service members are particularly susceptible. The same research indicates 19% have experienced traumatic brain injuries during combat which can also trigger depressive symptoms.
TMS is performed in a doctor's office or clinic with the patient seated in a comfortable chair while a "coil" is placed against the head. A series of repetitive, brief and highly-focused magnetic pulses are emitted to stimulate brain cells and, in depressed patients, restore brain activity to normal levels. Treatment sessions last less than 45 minutes and are typically performed five days per week, over a six-week period.
Magstim's TMS therapy is non-invasive and has very few side effects. Lothar Krinke, PhD, Group CEO at Magstim, says, "We are delighted to have this opportunity to employ Magstim TMS systems to increase patient access to treatment and improve health outcomes for Veterans. We are committed to working with the Department of Veterans Affairs as they move the field of psychiatric care forward."
Alan Zachary
alan.zachary@hdmz.com
PrevMagstim Group, Inc. appoints Lothar Krinke as New CEO.
Introducing Horizon® PerformanceNext

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


We all like to receive special messages especially on birthday's and christmas. Pick a song create your private page and message and when your ready send it. Try now. You need to be logged in to create a message. Create a free account.
Send a gift and musical message.


summary : After weeks of speculation, Tony Romo has finally clarified the real quarterback situation of the Dallas Cowboys. During a recent press conference, Romo admitted that Dak Prescott is the more suitable QB for the team.
summary : Following days filled with speculation on Tony Romo's return, it seems the Dallas Cowboys quarterback will still not be able to join the team for the Week 10 game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. If Romo fails to make a comeback soon, the Cowboys could eventually waive him since they have now found a new starter in Dak Prescott.
summary : Currently, the Dallas Cowboys are the top team to beat because of their almost flawless record thanks to the leadership of quarterback Dak Prescott. However, all this could change since according to Cowboys general manager Jerry Jones, Tony Romo might get activated this week.
summary : Although Tony Romo's condition is now improving, the Dallas Cowboys will most likely not make him their starting quarterback especially given the way Dak Prescott is leading the team. Instead, once his back has fully healed, the team could resort to trading him to the Denver Cowboys for Paxton Lynch.
summary : Following Sunday's game, Dak Prescott once again proved that he's ready to be the Dallas Cowboys' new starting quarterback. This could mean that the team might consider releasing or trading Tony Romo once he has recovered.
summary : The Dallas Cowboys are undergoing a rebuilding phase with the entry of two promising rookies in the Tony Romo team. However, reports are claiming that Dak Prescott is turning out to be a disappointment. Meanwhile, the Dez Bryant squad is expecting Ezekiel Elliot to achieve the same level of fame and skill as former teammate DeMarco Murray, who is now with the Tennessee Titans and is mentoring Derrick Henry.


text:
Blountly Speaking
Musings and choosings from a simply complicated gal.
That Special Feeling
Identity Heft
Braking Hearts
Sportsfan
The Black Experience
It would be the understatement of the year to say the past two and a half months have been…let's just say…different.
Seemingly overnight, the world was forced to adjust to a life in quarantine; staying indoors for the sake of saving themselves and the lives of others from a virus that attacks the body swiftly, quietly and violently.
Not only would it achieve the unthinkable in silencing the city that never sleeps, which has also lived through multiple terrorist bombings, a couple of blackouts and the residency of a certain tyrannical president who shall not be named (unless and until his inmate number is created). It has also made wearing face masks and gloves a mandated look beyond Michael Jackson tributes, and called BS on all those people who swore after watching countless shows and movies featuring zombies or dystopian themes that they were prepared for "the apocalypse."
Turns out, they start pleading for haircuts and refuge from their children and/or in-laws the moment the leaves start forming on the trees.
But that's neither here nor there.
The reason I'm writing about it, after pointedly avoiding the subject as a blog post for approximately ten weeks is for no other reason than to say this: "I'm glad it happened."
Before perception goes way left, I'll explain.
While I'm horrified by everything about this pandemic — the incalculable losses of life, work and income, the families torn apart by all of it, the egregious disparities that have arisen in the wake of the resulting economic and industry-busting disaster, and especially the lack of sympathy or compassion from the officials elected to protect the interests of all of the country's citizens — this pausing of the world has been the most unusual blessing in disguise.
The world has forced us to stop and take stock of what's important. Nature reset itself. Families, friends and lovers are reconnecting. People whose professions often go ignored and taken for granted — the healthcare workers, transportation workers, grocery store employees and others now deemed "essential," and even educators who have had to find creative ways to do their jobs — are now being recognized as the heroes they are. There's a wave of kindness and compassion from neighbors who want to make sure others are safe and have everything they need to get through this together.
For me, the coronavirus and the subsequent quarantine has been a bunch of things. In the beginning, it was the thing that took away my physical health and senses briefly, an event that I'd been excited about working on which would've been a proud moment in my career, my first real vacation in three years, my full-time job and the insurance that came with it and my sleep schedule.
What it's become is the best thing that ever happened to me, because, for the first time in my life, I was riding completely solo (unlike when I fractured my ankle and my squad came all the way through since broken bones weren't contagious and/or potentially fatal for others).
After the initial sadness of having to go through illness and carrying bags of groceries long distances "all by my lonesome," I have to confess that right now…It. Feels. Glorious.
Not just for the obvious shallow reasons of not having anyone around blowing through the aforementioned groceries at a breakneck pace. I love my peeps, but I admit it's kinda nice not having anyone pitching a fit because they need food, attention and direct sunlight. (Shoutout to the folks who used to shame me for being single and/or childless and are currently being driven slowly insane because they can't escape their spouse or child. Sending thoughts and prayers.)
It's because, like the earth, I've also taken time to recalibrate. Historically, I'd be embroiled in messy distractions that saved me from taking a hard look at — and accountability for — the string of disasters that formed my existence back in the day.
This time…I had time. Also: I'm in my mid forties and increasingly intolerant of nonsense. And since the universe can sometimes be as subtle as a sledgehammer, I was constantly being hit with reminders of the timeframe I needed to tackle because it's currently dominating pop culture (and someone from it slid into my Facebook DMs).
So I ripped the bandaid off, and poked at the crippling fear of being my authentic self out of fear of rejection and abandonment, til it burst and oozed all over my resignation that not everyone who's been a part of my story will make the next chapter (even, and especially, my biological mother). It then scabbed over the painful realization that I never set a goal in life because I honestly didn't think I'd live long enough to require one. I used shots of tequila as an antiseptic.
When I opened the new(ish) wound of the anniversary of my father's death occurring during this time, I risked my phone and inbox being hit with a barrage of concerned messages akin to the moment I revealed I'd lost my sense of smell and taste.
Which brings me to the other healing (and less trauma-inducing) blessings. I'm healthy. I've watched some really great TV and movies. Read some outstanding books. Danced nights away thanks to DJ D-Nice, Club Quarantine and Verzuz. Had hours long (mostly vulnerable) conversations on the phone, and attended several birthdays, group chats and graduation parties through Zoom and Houseparty with my family and friends. Upped my culinary game to the point where I can't bring myself to eat things like "Hot Pockets" again. Got my first article published, saw the special issue I worked on released with emotional results, and doing work I genuinely get joy out of with my (kinda) former employer. And even though the world seems unstable right now, I've never been steadier.
So when things seems hopeless — as we get inundated with news drenched in racism, hatred and division — I think of those things, and the fact that it wasn't too long ago that I was jobless, homeless after leaving a man I feared for years, and suddenly thrust into the role of taking care of a parent who lost his memory…and then everything else. (That year was also a doozy!)
And I relish in the fact that the only mask I need to wear these days is covered in flowers.
Hopefully, these times have unmasked greatness for you as well.
By lrblountin Life, Self Love, Social Commentary, Uncategorized May 26, 2020 June 26, 2020 1,085 WordsLeave a comment
For Toni
For Toni, I…
…am writing my first post in four months.
…made a mad dash after work to Barnes & Noble yesterday, to pick up as many of her books as I could get my hands on to put in my permanent collection. (Like everyone else, apparently.)
…celebrate my blackness and humanity more.
…listened to as many interviews as I could find posted on the internet yesterday, just to hear her voice.
…"Liked" the same pics of her over and over again, because they were being posted by different people who all felt compelled to take time out of their day to pay tribute to her and it felt like community.
…unexpectedly burst into very real tears when an amazing woman in her own right shared a story of how her writing played a role in the achingly beautiful love story the woman had with her now-deceased husband. It made me acknowledge – out loud – that I crave that kind of love.
…have resolved to operate with more grace when confronted by open racism – which I had to learn throughout the day today thanks to Twitter.
…acknowledge the imperfections in me and in this big world, and accept that there are some things that I will not change in this lifetime, but there are many things that are very much within my power to change in my time.
…will remain grateful for – and humbled by – the many blessings and lessons I've experienced thus far, and continue to be amazed and unapologetically jubilant as more manifest.
…am listening to the rain pour outside while sitting in blissful silence inside my home…typing away for reasons solely my own…with a salt lamp glowing in the distance and "Song of Solomon" sitting to my right side laying limp for the next few minutes before it carries me into my bedtime.
By lrblountin Culture, Life, People, Uncategorized August 8, 2019 August 8, 2019 315 Words1 Comment
Sometimes our truths aren't always the truth.
This is the thought I've landed on after a few days of thinking about relationships. More specifically my own past ones.
It all started this past Sunday, when news of the untimely death of artist Nipsey Hussle spread across my timeline. While I wasn't too familiar with his music, and only came to learn of his other extremely impressive endeavors upon his death, I knew he was in a longterm relationship with the actress Lauren London, with whom they shared a child and a blended family. The news was tragic for so many reasons, but my immediate thought was how awful it was for her to lose the love of her life. Especially after making sacrifices in her career for their family.
To spend years building a life with someone, only to have it destroyed it in an instant because of a broken individual, is my nightmare.
As I processed that news, and the tributes and images and videos that followed, I did what I now know to be the worst possible thing to do to distract myself: I binge-watched the episodes of "This Is Us" that I'd missed over the past few weeks.
If you're familiar with this show, then you know that a lot of crying ensued as I watched the Beth and Randall storyline send me on an emotional rollercoaster wondering if they were going to make it, and momentarily understanding why they might possibly not. Honestly, the only thing missing at that point was a bottle of red wine and someone playing "Sometimes It Snows In April" followed up with a montage of Prince footage. I was a wreck.
When I thought about the love story of Nipsey and Lauren, two young lovers just getting started, and the fictional one of "R&B," where twenty years of sacrifices and compromise had reached a breaking point, I looked deeper into my own stories, and saw just how one-sided they were.
It has been well over a year since the last relationship I embarked on came to an end. Unlike all of my previous ones, this one was amicable, and included an actual verbal conversation that never changed in pitch or volume because growth (and therapy).
But even armed with the full knowledge of signs he wasn't in the relationship for the long haul, I still spent months afterward asking myself what was it about me that was undesirable. I negotiated in my head that if I had just been more of the fantasy girl than the practical one, perhaps I'd be wearing a ring or something close to being committed.
The scariest realization when I do an inventory of the men who were either considered boyfriends, lovers or sexual partners, is the glaring commonality of how I romanticized the situations (and their ends), knowing full well I'd made horrible judgement calls just to say I was with someone or at least feel like I was with someone.
I took back an ex who broke up with me via text after I confronted him about a non mutually consensual sexual encounter (read: rape); and ultimately decided I'd had enough of him only after he spent weeks dodging me after my father's death, during which time he'd call me "angry black woman," went on a weeklong vacation without me and told me his friends would always be more important than me (his actual statement was so vile my therapy group – which consists of a few men – responded angrily). My reasoning was he was charming and made me laugh, he apologized and he was making an effort. My takeaway was learning that true love speaks life into you at times when you're feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, and doesn't abandon you because your circumstances are inconvenient or "a buzz kill."
I stayed in an off-and-on relationship for nearly six years despite mental, physical and financial abuse, because I had grown close to his family, and he with mine. I was afraid of upsetting that dynamic, was invested in his daughter's upbringing, and it felt like failure to leave a man that everyone thought was perfect for me (although my uncle did pick up on his controlling persona, but never told me until after it ended). And back then I thought love was struggle. My takeaway from that was the travel bug I developed, a couple of cool girlfriends (and one terrible one, who took advantage of my post-breakup situation for her own gain…twice), and an appreciation for what I bring to the table when I find myself in a healthy relationship.
I've been a mistress (knowingly and unknowingly), the booty call, and the friend with benefits. I've been the submissive and occasionally the aggressor. I've been the accommodating and the one who won't bend. I've left jobs, paid money I didn't have to spare for flights I shouldn't have taken, and placed myself in embarrassing and awkward situations where I've known I was not the only one because I was hopeful and desperate for a win. Each time, I'd speak of these men and moments as if they were normal ups and downs; not registering that the look I'd get from some of my friends and family was one of genuine concern for my sense of reality and self.
Yes, I've misrepresented many epic fails, but one of the worst by far was thinking that a man who'd moved multiple times out of the state we both lived in without ever telling me, was my soul mate. That was pretty stupid.
Almost as stupid as missing a friend's party because I was sitting in a car for several hours, while the guy I was seeing had a meeting with a contractor in a town out-of-state that wasn't easily accessible to public transportation.
…Or being so averse to traveling by myself that I spent an unnecessary small fortune on a weekend at a cute bed and breakfast in Boston with a man I'd later walk in on during his "self-love session" after he refused to leave the room with me to go explore the city. (I've gotten over my fear of solo travel, but haven't gone back to Boston since that trip well over a decade and a half ago.)
Sure, you can look at this and say "Damn, girl…you definitely have had bad luck in the relationship department, but these celebrity and television relationships shouldn't be #goals!" And you'd be absolutely right.
To be clear, I don't want to be any of them. I don't even want to be the Michelle to someone else's Barack Obama. I don't have that kind of ambition.
But these examples – as tragic, fantastical or exceptional as they may seem – have given me a blueprint that ideally won't send me down the same path I'd been traveling the last couple of decades as someone who was just trying to fill the void left by absent parents and a childhood marred by sexual abuse.
To be in a committed, communicative, mutually respectful and supportive partnership where I feel valued in the present (because most folks see your value only after you're gone), should always be the goal. To have someone want to be with you not because of what you do for them as far as appearances, status or reciprocity, but because you find joy in their presence and purpose in your connection. To see better versions of you in each other and have it motivate you each day to be and do better. That wouldn't suck.
And that's what I want. No exceptions. No bullshit.
In the meantime, my current truth is that I sleep in the middle of my bed, and indulge in the luxury of long hot baths, weekends blasting everything from jazz to girl power anthems, and revel in the quiet time in my own apartment doing whatever the hell I want because I've found true love…right here.
That also doesn't suck.
By lrblountin Love, Relationships, Self Love, Uncategorized April 8, 2019 1,339 Words2 Comments
Tough Breaks
Injuries are as humbling as they are incredibly painful.
In a sick way, they're the tangible versions of time, or the physical embodiment of ending a relationship of some sorts. (In this instance, your relationship with your body changes — in some ways irrevocably.)
It has been four weeks since I fractured my ankle roller skating, and — needless to say — I've had some time to think about this and many other things. Of some of the more profound revelations I've come to, my top takeaways are:
Optimism is cute, but realism is necessary in the long-term. When you actually hear the snap of your bone, chances are it's worse than a sprain. Let the X-rays guide you to the promise land of true (and proper) healing.
Speaking of things that are "cute" until it's not…pretending to be old and crippled when you're a kid (i.e., using the "big adult umbrellas with the handles" as fake canes, and/or borrowing an elder's "equipment") isn't so much adorable as it is being an asshole who will eventually get theirs. Also, those umbrellas aren't very sturdy numerous decades (and pounds) later. The more you know…
Be the kind of person whose friends will voluntarily help you pack for a move, transfer stuff from one apartment to another using a granny cart, make grocery runs for you, drop off food, pills and orthopedic boots, periodically check on your vitals with calls and texts, and do your laundry and cook for you. I literally get by with a LOT of help from my friends. And I'm judging any and every one who wants to be in my life based on these people. Be advised.
"Jane the Virgin" is the best thing to watch when you want to forget you're relegated to laying motionless with your leg in the air and not getting any pleasure out of it. Real talk.
Never underestimate the power of a pedicure. I had my first pedicure in months done just days before I'd end up with a mummified foot that practically screams "Nevermind the swollen, multicolored mess under these bandages…look at how cute my toes are!" Timing — and self-care — is everything.
Mercury Retrograde is a very real, and very scary, thing. Just sayin'.
When something in your life isn't for you, the universe has a way of eliminating it…no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves we can make it work, or force ourselves to "just go with it until something better comes along." Trust.
The experience of moving around on crutches for several weeks will inevitably give you the arms of Angela Bassett, but the overall dexterity of a muppet. In other news: Atrophy is the fucking worst!
I've lived through a lot of shit, but there are few images in my life as traumatic as having an Über driver cancel a ride on me, and speed away as I wave to him in the pouring rain while mouthing "I need help!" after one of my crutches loses a screw while I'm attempting to climb the three baby steps outside of my apartment building. That stings more than the rejection of a lover.
People will remark on how positive you are, how you're managing to take it all in stride and even find moments to laugh, and wonder why. And the answer is…you know it's only temporary.
There's always a running joke or meme about how we thought it'd be so great getting older, until we realize that we didn't have to pay bills or taxes, and struggle day-to-day in unfulfilling jobs and relationships. Then the subject of our mortality becomes a little too real. At forty-two, I've already experienced the loss of loved ones; family, friends, classmates and more and more people who shaped my upbringing culturally, politically and in some cases spiritually.
I'm here to tell you, there ain't a multivitamin or homeopathic cure that'll keep you from fretting about getting older. Sure, we may embrace it differently at different stages, but we still dread the process. I attribute my fear to the effective advertising back in the day that warned of the dangers of osteoporosis. And Life-Alert. (We were all emotionally scarred by the lady who'd "fallen…and couldn't get up." Admit it.)
The moment my ankle snapped, something inside me did the same. At the time, I'd been burning both ends of the candle maintaining two gigs to pay the bills and having a pretty stressful Summer contemplating and processing all the changes the year had brought. I'd use my free time to escape to an outdoor concert or movie theater in hopes of forgetting how miserable and increasingly lonely I was feeling because I'd mapped out a completely different plan for myself, and it somehow had gone awry.
Then, an unfortunate twist in the realest sense reminded me — no, demanded of me — to stop, take time to take stock and heal, and start over anew on a healthier path. And I did.
It also forced me to be more vulnerable, and to cease the practice of being too proud to ask for help. I've always been independent by nature, so having to rely on others to do things for me has been a huge adjustment. One that I'm not always comfortable with. But the connections that have transpired over the past few weeks has been soul-filling in ways I didn't know I needed. It's a feeling that can't be achieved by cool events, online dating or social media validation. Someone standing on a Trader Joe's line — I repeat, a Trader Joe's line! — for you, is worth a million "Hey stranger" texts from some dude who was never invested in you when you were dating, but suddenly thinks you'd be a cool person to chat up and/or hang out with.
And finally, it increased my awareness and respect for people whose physical struggles are not temporary, and reminded me of very intimate examples in my travels. As my right leg has shrunken, I was reminded of the days following my father's leg amputation, and the hours I spent in his nursing home observing once-vibrant people who could no longer perform seemingly basic everyday functions like walk unaided or lift a utensil. As I amble awkwardly through my kitchen, burning myself with a pan because I was distracted by a falling crutch, I'm reminded that there are people with no limbs competing in high-performance sporting events, cutting hair, and doing some incredible things without so much as a scratch.
Of course I cannot, and will not, compare myself to those extraordinary people, but when I put that in perspective, it's why I can't help but smile and feel fortunate that in time, I will be back on my feet.
And honestly…I injured myself roller skating. I absolutely should laugh at myself!
In any case, it's been a wild ride, and while I could sit here and lament all the quantifiable losses, I'm choosing instead to recognize that I've gained much, much more from this experience than even my best laid plans.
Also, I'll be more careful with my words in the future. This definitely wasn't what I meant when I said I needed a break.
By lrblountin Life, Mood Swings, Relationships, Self Love, Uncategorized September 2, 2018 1,216 Words2 Comments
By now, many, if not all of you, have read about, heard about and talked about the deaths of designer Kate Spade and chef/adventurer/humanitarian extraordinaire Anthony Bourdain. Both were shocking, but none more so to the world than the latter.
As the world grappled to find an explanation as to why two people who were at the top of their respective games and had fame, fortune and influence to boot would end their lives, those of us who've actually contemplated taking our own knew the answer: They were simply done.
Both Spade and Bourdain found success bucking the norms. In a sea of sameness when it came to handbags and accessories, the "kate spade" brand was a quirky and colorful breath of fresh air, and her personality was equally as such. For Bourdain, he literally pulled up the rug and exposed all the unsavory critters that embodied the restaurant industry, while still maintaining his passion for good food and the importance of the industry as a whole. He then bolstered his newfound notoriety into an enviable career where he traveled the world, told the stories of its people, and found community and unity in the sharing of a meal. For those of us who still haven't managed to live following our passions, this would seem like the dream.
But there's a price for that life, and every day, more and more people who seemingly "have it all" have been paying it.
They call it "mental health issues," but what it really is is a lack of self care. It's the instinct of wanting to make sure everyone else is taken care of around you, and that everyone's needs are being served, while ignoring your own. It's keeping up appearances so people "don't think of you as a burden." It's empowering others while secretly believing you have no power. It's listening to assholes who mock people for oversharing on social media, and then wonder why they were the last to know when someone close to them has a breakdown. It's not acknowledging your self worth.
It's prioritizing everything else above being authentic with yourself, listening to your heart and body, and having the courage and good sense to walk away from the noise and take a day, a week, or even a month to devote to what makes you whole. It's pride. It's shame. It's anxiety. It's isolation. It's denial. It's reckless.
And, to quote Linkin' Park's Chester Bennington (another famous person who succumbed to suicide), "in the end…it doesn't even matter."
Because people will pontificate about what could possibly be so bad about life where you give up on it. There'll be think pieces and statuses posting the suicide hotline aplenty. But unless those people have genuinely shown an interest in something beyond the glitz and glamour of your exterior life, they're kinda feeding into the reason it's become moot. While we are ultimately responsible for our life choices, being surrounded by people who only respond to you when you do something they find appeasing is a shitty way to live.
That's why I value the small number of women in my life who I can reach out to when things get heavy (and right now, things are heavier than a cargo ship carrying automobiles on concrete slabs). Even though we are all currently embroiled in some form of unpleasantness in our lives, we know the best way to cope and/or get through it is to reach out and have that network of folks who check in, listen to us and call us on our shit when we fall into the default response of "everything's fine." Because we all are acutely aware of how freeing vulnerability is, and yet we still struggle to be just that because we were taught to be "strong."
That's also why I'm suspect of people who mostly post "hot selfies," and travel pics talking about how great life is. They aren't real. That's also why I'm never surprised when a story about an Instagram influencer or some social media personality that made heaps of money getting graft while promoting perfection, ends up having a spectacular meltdown and revealing how they were "living a lie." That's also why I really don't fuck with people who only comment on my throwback pics and/or semi-glamour shots, and stay radio silent when I speak on subjects like traumas, injustice and how the current political climate feeds into them.
A few weeks ago, there was another suicide that had made the news, and it was too close for comfort. A woman leaped from the balcony of a hotel, carrying her 7 year-old son in tow. As I read the story, it occurred to me that the woman was the ex-wife of my former chiropractor, and the child was his son. My immediate response was shock, anger and heartbreak because there was a child's life taken involuntarily. But it became clearer that the man I'd found to be extremely pleasant and doting on his wife and child (at the time) as he adjusted my spine, may have had some demons of his own for this woman to see no other option than to end their lives.
I've said all this to say that society gets so caught up in the presentation that they miss the work that goes into the final product. We see ducks and swans floating gracefully on the water while they furiously paddle underneath and out of sight. We see pristine works of art in museums and galleries, unaware of the chaos of an artist's studio (and perhaps even more so in their heads). We celebrate a culture where people get famous for sharing glamorous, opulent illusions of perfection, while shunning those who show the gritty and not-so-aesthetically pleasing parts. We prefer pageantry over process.
This is why Bourdain's death was so hard to grasp; he showed us both the beauty and the grit of this world, and he called bullshit on those who only wanted to keep the ruse going for their personal gains. Sadly, those people far outnumbered people like him.
In the end…that matters.
By lrblountin Life, Mood Swings, People, Self Love, Social Commentary, Trailblazers, Uncategorized June 14, 2018 June 15, 2018 1,026 WordsLeave a comment
When they aren't selling your information to the highest bidding megalomaniac, or creeping you out with hyper-targeted ads of something you maybe mentioned in a text message five minutes before, Facebook is actually not too awful a place to be sometimes.
For me, it's a place where I can keep up with relatives I haven't seen in years, and/or live in places that I'm sociopolitically allergic to. A place where I'm privy to the success or struggles of classmates I promised I'd keep in touch with in our yearbooks, but realized that required actual work to do so. (Shoutout to my college sister-friends for occasionally restoring my sanity and faith in humans in the group chat!) And, most importantly, a place that keeps me informed about birthdays and stances that either deepen my connection with someone, or validate any suspicions I had as to why I never quite connected with them.
Yesterday, it became a place where a pretty big "Aha" moment in my life transpired, and it started an unexpected wellspring of emotion, and hopefully something much bigger.
It all began when I posted the following status:
"Just saw a video in which a group of female 45 voters expressed their opinion on the Stormy Daniels affair. Not surprisingly, they doubled-down on their support for their man, and lambasted Daniels, saying she was in it for the money and degrading her.
Just as I was about to post that video, I paused. I was ready to say "What kind of woman would still support this man after all that he's said and done, and then drag and ridicule a woman for speaking her truth?"
I stopped because I realized that these women aren't anomalies. I, too, have defended and forgiven men who I knew to be absolute trash in their behavior towards women – including myself – but was kinder in my thoughts and actions toward them, than I've been with women who simply gave me the minutest attitude. (I deemed a former female friend "dead to me" for disparaging me behind my back, but have had cordial interactions with a man who nearly choked the life out of me. That's just crazy!)
And I'm not alone.
This has brought me to the very horrifying discovery that there are SO many of us who've accepted that men are entitled to behave badly, and women are expected to just shut up about it. We've been conditioned to forgive, laugh it off, and look the other way. That's kinda effed up when you think about it. The possibility that WE are OUR OWN worst enemies.
There are monstrous men out here wrecking lives and legislation because there are women in their circle doing the absolute least to check them, and instead are cheering them on. The chants tend to be louder when the woman being punished is a free-thinker.
That's a real sobering takeaway during this Women's History Month.
What happened after that was magical.
While it didn't "go viral" or bring me internet fame, it did spark a conversation that we've sorta been having during the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, but haven't really had until Stormy Daniels admitted on national television to having sex with someone she didn't really want to have sex with because she felt she'd placed herself in that situation and therefore must follow through. It's the same awkward discussion we had when Aziz Ansari was placed in the spotlight for essentially being a bad lay.
But I digress. The point is, women were attacking Daniels' character, instead of considering the character of a man who had unprotected sex with a person whose profession is literally having sex with people she barely knows on camera, while his wife was nursing their newborn child. A man who has a history of infidelity, misogyny and questionable and unethical decisions, yet still was elected President of the United States. A man who makes cringe-worthy comments about his daughter, normalizes racism and discrimination and comments about grabbing women by their vaginas gets a moral pass, but a woman looking to set the record straight and fight for her family's safety gets lambasted.
This is the world we live in.
A world where boys will be boys, and the shit they say is just "locker room talk." Where they can knock a woman unconscious in an elevator, but still get signed to a team before the guy who takes a knee to protest injustice and police brutality. Where they can beat a woman til she's unrecognizable, or record themselves urinating on a minor, and still sell out venues and have countless female fans and collaborators in the years since. Where they can force their mistresses to have abortions, while simultaneously structuring laws to keep other women from terminating an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. Where they can shack up with their stepdaughters and still have actors clamoring to star in their films. Where they can play fast and loose with the rules that govern and protect, but get you ejected from the game for your emails. Fucking emails.
Coming to terms with my own permissive history was the breakthrough I needed not just to comprehend the mindset of the women who looked the other way, but to understand that there is a disturbing pervasiveness of double-standards globally that has shaped societies for centuries, and we are still woefully compliant to them.
When I think of all the shit I let slide, it's really disturbing, and yet it makes perfect sense why I'm single. The insults. The verbal abuse. The physical abuse. The unannounced children. The unannounced live-in girlfriend. The unannounced wife. The unannounced move to other cities. The unannounced resentment, and my new favorite: The unannounced intent to punish women stemming from maternal neglect and/or conflict. Until fairly recently, this all seemed normal…until one day it didn't.
But for many women, it is still normal. It makes more sense for us to say "He's just going through some things," or "That's just the way men are," instead of "What the fuck is your trigger, and why can't you handle your shit in a way that doesn't punish everyone else around you?"
And it's because of our desire to keep the peace where men are concerned, we end up doing more damage to our fellow sex, and future generations of boys who will grow up thinking it's okay to disrespect women, and girls who won't be able to identify the disrespect until it's too late. We break our necks coddling male egos, while simultaneously ignoring the very people who need guidance and encouragement the most.
That's probably why the swift justice bestowed to Harvey Weinstein, and the movements that followed, were initially so confusing to process. We'd just voted in a man who admitted on-camera to sexual assault, but somehow found outrage that brought down one of the most powerful men in entertainment. We still treat Bill Clinton as a rock star, while Monica Lewinsky still can't have a career without ridicule, and Hillary is still being dragged for everything she says and does despite losing to a man who — once again — admitted on-camera to sexual assault. Let that sink in.
So how do we break the cycle of condoning the transgressions of men, while simultaneously holding a safe space for women to tell their stories and heal from their experiences? How do we come to that place where we own our shit and say "Hey, maybe we are much harder on women than we are on men because we live in a society constructed by men?" How do we come to terms with the very real fact that the men we revere as fathers, brothers, friends, mentors, lovers, legends, etc., are capable of committing unspeakably evil things against other women, children and just people in general that they don't deem on their level?
Maybe the first step is admitting that we aren't perfect, and to own and accept that we can be biased, frightened people who do what we can to survive, and it's much easier to sweep things under a rug, than do a deep-clean and start fresh sometimes. The problem with that, is there are people breathing in the residual filth we leave behind…and it can be toxic.
I'm heartened by the recent cultural shifts that have seen more women in the forefront as heroes, warriors and leaders in activism and slowly but surely on the political spectrum. I celebrate the voices of a young generation that basically just told us that they're fed up with our nonsense, and "since we're not old enough to drink beer, keep holding yours while we figure out how to get these assholes you blindly voted into office out."
And I appreciate the men out there who embrace, support and encourage all of this necessary change without taking it as an affront to their existence.
That said, being my sister's keeper doesn't mean Stacy Dash and her ilk get a pass.
By lrblountin Life, Philosophy, Rants and Raves, Relationships, Self Love, Social Commentary, Uncategorized March 29, 2018 1,508 Words1 Comment
Pull The Trigger
There is no greater buzz kill than returning to New York on Christmas Day.
This was my takeaway after leaving my family in Philadelphia, as they were preparing to host Christmas dinner. In the midst of the Cavalier/Warriors basketball game. I knew then that I'd regret that decision. I was correct.
Heart already heavy from the realization that I'd spent less than 24 hours with them before heading back, the lateness of the train to Trenton, the loneliness of sitting and walking in silence for four hours, and the return to a city awash in people just trying to find their place in it, stole whatever joy I managed to muster in those brief moments filled with laughter, long tight hugs, deep conversations and an unexpectedly fun game involving a shit-ton of saran wrap.
It has taken me hours to place the source of my sadness: Everything feels unstable in my life right now.
On the surface, things look great. I'm in the most ideal job, home and relationship that I've ever been in throughout all of my forty-two years. And it scares me to death to think that it's all too good to be true. But the last few weeks have me bracing for a future in which I'm about to find out how much I'm capable of handling on my own…again.
Which brings me to my parents. Because everything ultimately leads back to the people who made you.
There are days when I resented them. There are days I pitied them. There are days when I try to understand where their heads were at when they thought it was okay to leave me with strangers, neighbors and members of their families who turned out to be child molesters. There have been days where I've felt personally affronted when they'd get credit for my accomplishments in life, when neither had been in it full time since I was twelve. And there are days when I accept the fact that they had no idea what they were doing and – in the case of my father – eventually did the best he could, considering he didn't have the most nurturing parents.
Last year after my father's passing, I unexpectedly found myself digesting story after story about how involved my father was in the lives of so many people. Normally, that would cause a swelling of pride to know how beloved your dad was, and how many lives he touched and impacted. The thing is…he was being other people's hero during the years I struggled to pay tuition, find a job that paid a livable wage and compensate for his absence with remarkably insecure and occasionally abusive partners after deeming myself unloveable (the thought you have when your parents are alive and well, but not involved in your life).
And while years of tough conversations in our later lives healed that wound enough to compel me to assume the role of his caregiver in his final years, the pain of the time and moments lost will never fully go away.
In my adult life, it has manifested itself into someone who is fiercely independent, but constantly seeking connection. Terrified of becoming her mother, no longer interested in becoming a mother, but strangely aware that her ability to listen to and comprehend children would've made her a great mother. Someone who now knows that words unspoken lead to opportunities unrealized…for better or worse. Someone who somehow managed to take decades of trauma, fear, anger and resentment, and turn it into the fuel that keeps her going in her daily journeys to a place where she finds peace, love and acceptance in who she is…and who she isn't.
Someone who is still struggling to understand what's become of this world in the past year; where it seems everyone is reminding her of her parents, — in the sense that they willingly chose roles in which they have a responsibility to take care of people, but everything goes to shit because they're too busy serving their own interests and enriching their own lives while those who need help suffer from neglect.
This whole year has been a trigger of near catastrophic levels. As vocal as I've been over the past year and change to friends, family and the social media world, the words somehow escaped me to truly express how I feel about all this chaos.
To be reminded on a daily basis that there are people in power whose mission in life is to take away my power takes me to places only this blog and my therapist can pull me out of.
With that, I'm going into 2018 absolutely terrified, yet still acutely aware that I've done this before.
And I'm still here.
I have to believe there's something good about that.
Even if it's to testify that things can – and will – get better.
Also: If they haven't already, your parents will fuck you up in some way, shape or form. I cannot stress the importance of having a fantastic support system, an openness to look into your self to clean and mend the wounds properly, and let go of the things you thought you knew so you can learn something new.
The past can be our anchor, or it can be our teacher.
We still have the power to choose which it will be.
By lrblountin Family, Life, Mood Swings, Philosophy, Relationships, Self Love, Social Commentary, Uncategorized December 26, 2017 December 26, 2017 907 Words2 Comments
Yesterday, the body of a 41 year-old woman was found lying motionless in her bed for several hours in a Brooklyn apartment.
Foul play was ruled out because she was breathing, conscious, and simply recovering from coming home at four in the morning after dancing (and sweating profusely) all night at a Prince and Michael Jackson tribute dance party. She was also just happy to be laying there in silence – ears still slightly ringing from the night before – and only realized shortly before arising from the soft sanctuary of that bed, that she still had the top sheet tucked into the mattress, and was sleeping between that and her duvet most of the day.
That moment, ladies and gentlemen, is the extent of my current mid-life crisis.
Not the one-night stand I had last month in Cuba, mind you. Just the struggle of getting out of bed after a night of dancing, which technically came on the heels of walking through an exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum and a Target run…but still.
Time is forcing me to acknowledge certain truths about life. More specifically…that it ends. Last year was a pretty brutal one for mortality, and as I brace for the inevitable acknowledgement next month of the first anniversary of my father's passing, I'm reflecting on how I've handled it, and if there's anything I would've done differently.
But really, how does one handle these things? What's the right way to deal with loss…or anything?
For me, I chose to do the following:
Holed myself up in a luxury hotel for a night in a city that's home away from home; this time as a tourist and without my family's knowledge.
Began going to therapy again.
Saw The Total Bent off-Broadway, and Eclipsed, The Color Purple and Hamilton on Broadway. (And yes, I've been obsessed with the the latter's soundtrack ever since.)
Traveled to Chicago, Bahamas, and Cuba for the first time, and Washington D.C. – twice in six months.
Watched Beyoncé, Alice Smith, Gregory Porter, Angelique Kidjo, Andra Day, Gary Clark Jr., Thundercat, Camp Lo, Leela James, Daley and many more artists perform live. (Shoutout to Michael Olatuja and Greg Osei – two artists of African descent with very different and beautifully unique music. Check them out!)
Saw the Cubs win at Wrigley Field, the Knicks lose at the Garden, and the craziest Super Bowl ever on a television in a place stocked with enough booze to get us all through that second half.
Actually saw most of the movies nominated for this year's Academy Awards, which made that finale all the more satisfying!
Discovered the artwork of Kerry James Marshall at Chicago's Museum of Contemporary Art, the futuristic brilliance of fashion at the Manus x Machina exhibit at the Met, the impressive collections at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the stunning and iconic sports photography at the Brooklyn Museum, the historic and life-changing experience that is every inch of the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture (which I still haven't cleared after two visits and logging nearly eight hours in), the vibrant and achingly poignant works of art depicting the history and cultures and resilience of the Bahamian and Cuban people, and attended two visually stunning and contrasting fashion shows.
Joined two dating sites…and promptly regretted it. But gave it three months before completely disabling and scrubbing them from my phone and inbox. Bliss ensued.
Yes, reader, I went on an epic cultural binge while simultaneously embarking on a journey of self-discovery and opening up to the possibility of new love.
I know what you're thinking, and you're absolutely right…it has been expensive AF! In the place of where savings would ostensibly be, there are just awesome memories, and a shell of a bank account that doesn't get to fully reflect on paper what my 800+ FICO score would have the world believe.
Should I have been monetizing these experiences in the form of paid content? Hell yeah I should've! But that's neither here nor there now. What matters is that I enjoyed every minute of what I did – even if I didn't necessarily relish in the reality of not having the pleasure of telling my dad about my new adventure, or having a significant other to share them with.
To the outside world, in particular, anyone unfamiliar with me or my thought process, the past year would appear to be escapism at its finest. A fair assessment, and one reached by many (well-intentioned, but often close-minded) people who expressed concern for my well-being; unaware that for the first time in a very long time, I was in my element, and happier than I'd been in some time.
Here's why: Art in all forms brings out various emotions: Joy, triumph, wonder, anger, sadness, despair, confusion, humor, heartbreak and hope. They can all be elicited from a song, a painting, a film, a photograph and even a destination. And in the last eleven months, I've tapped into every emotion imaginable. I've even encountered some I didn't imagine. That's where the beauty of having a therapist on this journey comes in. It's been especially helpful given the current state of affairs in this country politically.
We all have our ways of coping with loss, but I'm grateful for the route I chose – even if it's left me somewhat fiscally anemic for the time being. Death – notably one following a long debilitating illness – teaches you the greatest lesson about life. It teaches you to relish every healthy moment you have left on this earth, and don't take for granted the things and people who support you and help you get through each day still standing. During this time of exploration, I've also managed to catch up with friends and loved ones I haven't seen in ages, and in my travels I have forged new bonds or strengthened old ones. To me, that's priceless.
In all…I have no regrets. And now that I have an Amazon fire stick…I now have no desire to leave the house much in the coming months. (I'm kidding. Kinda. No, seriously, this sucker is a game changer!!)
By lrblountin Life, Mood Swings, Philosophy, Self Love, Uncategorized April 24, 2017 April 25, 2017 1,051 WordsLeave a comment
Standards for Living
It has now been nearly two weeks since I've entered my forty-first year.
Or, as I'd like to call it, "Forty won."
In a year marked by so much death – from ones intimately close, to strangers known and unknown, not to mention the brutal murder of democracy – I end my fortieth year with an even stronger zest and appreciation for life. Especially my own.
Because, in spite of all the tragedy and turmoil that 2016 embodied for most of the world – admittedly the first half was brutal for me as well – I somehow managed to ride out the rest of it with one of the strongest years I've had in nearly a decade on a personal and professional level. I made uncomfortable choices, found more of my voice, embraced the unknown, and found freedom in letting go of things that weren't right for me. I've knowingly disappointed some, and unknowingly inspired others.
What resulted was the universe opening up a world of opportunity in the form of more love, support and fellowship from new and unexpected sources. Ones that allowed and, at times, insisted on, finding acceptance that I once sought from relationships – both familial and romantic – within myself.
So I took those trips. Went to those shows. Saw those movies. Booked those therapy appointments. And so on.
…and didn't wait for that call to do any of it. And also didn't give a shit what anyone thought about it.
In the spirit of keeping that momentum going, and in honor of all the fucks I've lost during this year, here's a list of my standard for living for 2017 and beyond:
Stop Hesitating ("Take the trip!" "Buy the shoes!" "Go to the fucking doctor!") When you have gainful employment, insurance, decent credit, and a shit-ton of people in your life who are in your corner, there are no excuses. Life is too fucking short…and it can all be gone tomorrow. I say this 7 months after my father's passing, and over a year after the sudden loss of a very dear friend who lived his life fully and generously, so it's not exactly an epiphany. Death has a way of putting you in "YOLO" mode; forcing you to face your own mortality and, subsequently, your "bucket list." And the savagery of this year has been the biggest wakeup call of all.
Speak my mind. Anyone who really knows me might be like "When have you NOT?" To them, I say "Hush." But recently, someone I was once close to, told me that I didn't communicate with them during the time we spent together. In this instance, I no longer trusted them or had faith in their ability to act in my best interests, but they had a point. It is best to speak one's mind, for better or worse, that way everyone can move accordingly.
Refuse to spend any of my hard-earned cash on the following: Hip Hop albums from most of this era's artists (although anderson.Paak might get my money for a live show). Rihanna concert tickets. Anything with the Kardashian name. Poor-quality shoes, clothing and undergarments. Events where most of the demographic is under 35, or frequently uses the word "lit" with more intention than sarcasm, and/or people who like to invite you to functions/dinners/trips/etc. with the expectation that you'll be bankrolling them or their friend's portion of it. If we're not in a long-term partnership, and I have not given birth to you…you're paying your own way. I am not Angelina Jolie or Mia Farrow. Call Tyrone.
Don't take anything in life for granted. Not to be mistaken with "not complaining." While I try to avoid the other c-word, there are gonna be times in life when things aren't perfect and something needs to be said in order to address and improve it. (See "Speaking my mind.") That doesn't mean everything is shit – it just means it's important enough to me to be made better. But at the end of the day, even the lessons from failures are appreciated.
Do not entertain the idea of a long-term relationship with any man who isn't equipped to be my best friend. New rule for 2017: "If he doesn't make plans, doesn't keep plans, doesn't respect my time, doesn't respect what I say, doesn't respect my gender, doesn't respect my family or friends (or – as my sister-girl once said after an ex spent two days at her home but never engaged in one-on-one conversation with her – "doesn't find out who they are to you"), doesn't show any interest in spending time knowing or building upon mutual interests…I'm not wasting any time with him. My desire for an honest, selfless, interactive and collaborative partnership supersedes my desire to have a proper lay any day. I believe "Stronger Together" isn't just a nice and sunny political slogan. I've seen too many solid relationships where couples travel, party, and make plans and important decisions together. They respect each other's input and rely on each other for mutually beneficial contentment and growth. They also have each other's backs when times are hard for either of them. This is what I aspire to be and have in return. And because I'd rather be alone than feel alone…nothing else will do.
Never apologize for being who I am, and take zero shit from any "friend" or family member who has opinions on how I should behave. I'm single, childless, live in a city bursting with culture and vices, and I've survived four decades of life that consisted of events that have broken many. (At least, that's what I've been told.) And for the most part, I've done it solo. That I continue to maintain a sense of humor, optimism, desire and enjoyment of intimate connection and only have a marginal social media addiction – I'd say I'm doing okay. Not Oprah okay…but you never know what the future holds.
Stop doubting my abilities and gut. That I still do this on occasion means there's more room for improvement, but I'd like to think I'm headed in the right direction.
If I've taken nothing else from this year, it is that there is no reward for playing it safe. Those who've impacted our lives most – in both life and death – have been the most extreme risk takers. The rogues. The controversial ones. The ones who colored outside the lines and bulldozed their comfort zones to fit big dreams (and in some cases even bigger egos). The ones who set a standard for the way they lived, and fulfilled it to the best of their ability, in spite of (or perhaps because of) how others said they were supposed to live.
If we all set standards in our lives, then we'll do anything to preserve it for our own well-being and joy. Our jobs, relationships, finances, living conditions and even our political leanings are a reflection of those standards. Or lack thereof. I mean, how else can you achieve a "gold standard" without actual standards?
We owe it to ourselves to have them. We owe it to each other to honor them. If, for no other reason, for our own self-respect, and the peace of mind that comes with knowing we did all we could to make the world a better place by being a better person in it while we could.
Those are my standards for 2017 and beyond.
What are yours?
By lrblountin Culture, Life, Love, Mood Swings, Philosophy, Relationships, Self Love, Social Commentary, Uncategorized December 28, 2016 1,251 WordsLeave a comment
It is never easy leaving something or someone you truly love.
Oftentimes, it is unpleasant.
But the time will come when we'll have to say goodbye to something or someone dear to us for whatever reasons that apply. It's one of life's inevitabilities…much like me wrecking a manicure seconds after walking out of the salon.
This week, I had that horrible task. Twice.
The first isn't theoretically final, but symbolically it is; the apartment my roommate and I have shared for nearly a year is being reclaimed by its lovely owner and her family at the end of the month, so we needed to find a new place quickly. What stung the most was having to leave the beautiful neighborhood we've grown to adore, due to lack of affordable housing options. Never mind the fact that the apartment itself is a unicorn in terms of space and affordability. Both were ideal.
Alas, it was never truly ours…and so we had to face facts and move on.
Fortunately, we found an affordable gem in a decent neighborhood that suited all our needs, and wouldn't force any major and/or uncomfortable adjustments.
The part I'm most grateful for, tho – aside from having a relatively painless search process in comparison to last year (woo hoo!) – is having my name on a legal document holding me responsible for the payment and upkeep of a place that I reside in…for the first time in SIX years.
While that concept seems scary AF, I'm elated, because circumstances over these last years haven't supported this moment. A layoff in 2010 – followed by an unexpectedly lengthy stretch of un/underemployment mixed with drastic pay decreases throughout the years that followed – proved challenging. Signing a lease wasn't only risky…it was impossible.
All this to say: As much as I've dreaded moves in the past, this one I look forward to, because it means I've finally reached the point where I can start over on my terms. It's bittersweet, yet empowering, all at the same time.
The next goodbye is final and painful, because there's still a great deal of love, and there was a tremendous emotional investment. The demise of a relationship always impacts me because the failure is personal and, at times, I'd like to think avoidable.
But that's just wishful thinking.
Over the years, I've struggled and occasionally succeeded at being mindful of things in my past life that could – and have – segued into fatal relationship flaws: Let's just say the list isn't pretty. Or short. Let's also say not living with my parents after twelve was the best thing that ever happened to me. Let's also say that it's because very early on, life played out more like a Lifetime Network movie written by Alice Walker.
Basically, I was a powder keg with a laundry list of issues ranging from trust, abandonment, intimacy, anger, jealousy, people-pleasing, self-esteem, selfishness and withdrawn (this one's tough to shake).
Truth be told, I'll always be a work in progress. But time, meditation, faith, introspection, healing, much-needed therapy and an outpouring of unconditional love and support from friends and family has allowed me to develop into a woman who is now open and optimistic about life, love and all its possibilities. I find joy in authentic relationships and experiences, and I'm quicker to listen to and embrace different perspectives. Most of all, I've learned to forgive, let go, and just let shit be.
Which brings us here.
If I've learned anything in these forty years and eight months of life, it is that as much as I love the idea of being in love, there's much more to a relationship than that. It's work, and sometimes I don't want to do it, but I will if I know the end result is having someone to grow with, who has your back in times both good and bad and inspires you to do the same. Someone who takes interest in your interests, and includes you in theirs. Someone who relishes in your quirks, and can talk and listen for as long as it takes as you both learn something new and/or rediscover something not so new about each other (instead of using social media or discussing with an audience that doesn't include either of you). Someone who understands that conflicts and anger should be addressed and resolved in minutes and (if really serious) hours…not days and weeks. Someone who has longterm plans and knows where you fit in them. Someone unafraid to take a leap of faith and land wherever your lives together may take you. Someone whose actions speak louder than their words.
For all our intents…we both failed spectacularly in making that happen. Twice.
And for what it's worth, I wanted our relationship to work so badly, that I was willing to accept it as it was…even as it left me wanting more.
But it occurred to me that – much like the apartment hunting experience – I began the process desperate to compromise at the risk of losing a part of me. In the end, it took venturing out of my comfort zone on a road less traveled in order to find the place that feels like home, and nothing is lost except the expectations of how things should be.
Not only is that worth moving on to…it's worth moving mountains for.
I'm scared and excited to find out what the future holds, but right now, I'm just gonna relish in the freedom of the present moment, and go wherever the day takes me.
Which, right about now…is the kitchen. I'm starving.
By lrblountin Life, Love, Mood Swings, Philosophy, Relationships, Self Love, Uncategorized August 13, 2016 August 14, 2016 948 Words5 Comments


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The Hella Mega Tour: When Worlds Collide
Sorcha Rose McGroarty
To say I was ecstatic when I heard Weezer, Fall Out Boy and Greenday were all going on tour together would be an understatement. Three iconic bands whose music matured like fine wine all at one concert. What more could a recovering emo kid ask for?
The Dublin segment of the tour took place in Marlay park on Monday the 27th of June. While a workday was an odd choice for a concert, who would question the judgement of these music legends?
While there was a rocky start to things the show as a whole was fantastic. Myself and the group I attend with unfortunately missed both the opening band, The Sniffers, full set and the first half of weezer's set due to the traffic. Many people attending the concert encountered the same problems we did, where shuttle buses were cancelled, public transport was either full, late or also cancelled and there didn't seem to be a single free taxi around..
When we did eventually arrive we had luckily missed the crowds and long lines others had turned up to earlier. We were let into security quickly where a worker quickly had us checked and passed us through to the main arena of the concert.
When we arrived about half way through Weezer's set, we were immediately greeted by a remarkably relaxed and laid back atmosphere. People were sitting down in the grass, eating, drinking and chatting while enjoying the music. Weezer's set performance matched this atmosphere perfectly. They had wonderful stage energy, and played a fantastic role in introducing the crowd to the show. Weezer had also adopted a sort of 'dad look' for this tour, which followed through in their Dublin show. They played many of their most loved songs including Island In The Sun, Buddy Holly and Say It Ain't So. They also played covers of Enter Sandman by Metallica and Africa by Toto.
To say there was a contrast in atmosphere would be to downplay the difference between Weezer's and Fall out Boy. They opened by shooting flames from various parts of the stage and having the crowd screaming lyrics at the top of their lungs. The flames and fantastic light displayed matched the electric and fiery energy shared by performers and the audience alike. Towards the end of their set Pete Wenz even took off his black shirt to reveal the Ireland jersey he had on underneath.
Once their set had also finished there was another break before Greenday came on stage. When they finally did the crowd had reached its peak excitement and so the controlled chaos ensued. Like all three bands before them, Greenday also played their most well loved and well known songs. The highlight of their set however, was Lynx.
Lynx was the audience member who was invited on stage to play the guitar with the band. She appeared on stage, in awe and in some fantastic black eyeliner and was promptly handed a guitar and taught exactly how to play the song. She picked it up quickly and soon was rocking out with the band. When she was finished she was told she could keep the guitar. She looked so excited she might cry. Following this the crowd started chanting lynx with all the buzz in the crowd being about how excited everyone was that she got to go on stage and also keep the guitar.
By the time the concert was over, the crowd was still happy and cheery. We didn't face many issues with leaving the venue, despite the fact that approximately 40,000 people were released into the night seemingly at once. At this point there were no buses left running anywhere useful, and it seemed every taxi driver in the country was on holiday, so many people ended up having to call friends and family to come pick them up. On the brightside the crowd was incredibly friendly and civil. Despite the heavy drinking, I have never felt so safe at a concert, and can say without a doubt it was an overall positive experience despite the transport issues.
Culmullen National school receives grant for new park


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Gala Concert
Daily Programmes
Please Note: Registration for films is not required.
Film - Rock in the Red Zone
"A town famous for rock musicians, the children of Jewish refugees from north Africa and the middle east, one mile from Gaza, For 8 years it has been the target of rocket attacks. Filmmaker Laura Bialis discovers its untold story".
Rock in the Red Zone 1.30pm followed by a panel discussion and Q+A
Film - Eyeless in Gaza
"The main responsibility of news outlets is to report important news events fairly and accurately. This documentary shows in only 50 minutes that too many news organisations are failing to do that" thereby hindering peace.
Eyeless in Gaza 1.30pm followed by a panel discussion and Q+A
Film - Disturbing the Peace (Wednesday)
"Following activist group Combatants for Peace, Disturbing the Peace tells the story of former enemies from both sides who have joined together to work towards a resolution and to stand up for what they believe in".
Wednesday 9th
Disturbing the Peace 3.30pm followed by a panel discussion and Q+A
Film - Disturbing the Peace (Thursday)
Short Film - The Other Side
"A simple soccer ball sparks an unusual friendship between two young boys on either side of the Israeli and Palestinian separation barrier. Can this wordless relationship overcome the wall's towering presence?"
Programme Times for The Other Side T.B.A
Short Film - The Road to Tel Aviv
A young Israeli finds himself in a tricky situation when a suspicious-looking Arab woman enters the same bus as his fiancée. Panic ensues and he must sort the situation, as the realities of war, terror, and enemies are exposed".
Programme Times for The Road To Tel Aviv T.B.A
© 2017-2019 by Shalom Festival Web Design by Jigsaw Computing.


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Reddit users reveal their worst sex positions
Sex / 9 January 2020, 12:00pm / Staff reporter
'Having sex standing up is not that great, especially if there's a significant height difference. And water makes a terrible lubricant.' Picture: Needpix
When Refinery29 writer Erika Smith did her research for an article, she scoured the deepest parts of the web. Her brief was simple - find out what the worst sex positions are for online users.
Her first obvious choice was Reddit. The "front page of the internet" yielded some very interesting results. Below are some of the comments dug up from years past.
By SharpC*ck
"Why is this so common in porn? When I was younger I saw it frequently in NSFW videos and that prompted me to give it a try, and it is *awful*! Here is my rationale: It is completely devoid of any intimacy because it puts the two people as far away from each other as possible."
By diegojones4
Honestly, 69. It's just too busy. I can't focus on what I'm doing and I can't focus on what is being done to me. Plus sometimes it smells like *ss."
By impotent_rage_40
"Having sex standing up is not that great, especially if there's a significant height difference. And water makes a terrible lubricant."
By deathbryte
"Standing up, even though in theory my boyfriend and I are at the height where it should be feasible it just isn't. No matter how in allignment it all is, it just does not work like it should."
By halfadash6
"Missionary, because my partner is so much taller than me. My head usually winds up hitting his collarbone. It's considerably better if my head is hanging off the side of the bed, though."
"It can be awesome when you can get alignment right but most of the time there's an awkward half crouch involved that just makes things way too difficult."
Your top 12 shower-friendly sex toys
Is there such a thing as quiet sex? Apparently so and here's how to do it
Can you have sex while on your period? The answer is a big fat 'yes'
Movie sex scenes are often better than the real thing


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Home / Events / 2014 / 0916 Media Advisory Thomas Jefferson Tombstone Marker Media Availability
MEDIA ADVISORY: Thomas Jefferson Tombstone Marker Media Availability
Story Contact: Jeff Sossamon, 573-882-3346, sossamonj@missouri.edu
WHAT: The marble slab on which Jefferson's epitaph was inscribed has returned to the University of Missouri from the Smithsonian Institute as part of MU's 175th anniversary week. Media are invited to photograph this marker this afternoon.
The slab also will be available for public viewing at 6 p.m., prior to Jon Meacham's lecture, "Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power."
When the renovation of Jesse Hall is complete, the original epitaph, personally written by Jefferson, will be displayed in a student-designed exhibit. A replica of the marker will be mounted to Jefferson's original obelisk tombstone in Francis Quadrangle next week.
WHERE: Missouri Theatre, 203 S. 9th Street, Columbia
WHEN: 2 -3 p.m., Monday, Sept. 15
NOTE: For more information on the marker and its renovation, please visit:
http://munews.missouri.edu/news-releases/2012/1204-mu-teams-with-smithsonian-to-save-original-jefferson-tombstone-marker/.
For more information on MU's 175th Anniversary and the Chancellor's inauguration, please visit: http://chancellor.missouri.edu/inauguration/.


Xiaomi's phablet fans won't need to wait much longer as the company has confirmed the massive Mi Max 3 will launch on July 19. The company posted the announcement on its MIUI Forum, adding a teaser image in the process.
The picture confirms the 7:30 P.M. (GMT+8) kick-off next Thursday, but it also gives us a rough idea of the phablet's size. If you've got huge hands or just want a huge screen, this should be for you.
We've heard about quite a few specs already though, owing to previous leaks and a listing on China's TENAA regulatory body. According to TENAA, the Mi Max 3 will have a 6.9-inch full HD+ screen (18:9), paired with a massive 5,400mAh battery.
Other notable specs include 3GB to 6GB of RAM, 32GB to 128GB of expandable storage, and an unnamed 1.8Ghz octa-core chipset. The Mi Max family usually follows the Redmi Note series when it comes to chipsets, so we're expecting the Redmi Note 5 Pro's Snapdragon 636 processor here.
Xiaomi's phablet will also have a dual-camera setup (one shooter is a 12MP camera), 5MP selfie snapper, IR blaster, a rear fingerprint scanner, and Android 8.1.
We've also seen reports of a Mi Max 3 Pro, packing a higher end Snapdragon 710 chipset for better performance. But we'll need to wait until July 19 for confirmation of this.
Intrigued by the Mi Max 3? Know of any better mid-range phablets? Then let us know in the comments section below!


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San Francisco Giants at San Diego Padres Odds, Picks and Predictions
Home » News » MLB » San Francisco Giants at San Diego Padres Odds, Picks and Predictions
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The San Francisco Giants (53-55) and San Diego Padres (61-50) will square off this week in a three-game series beginning Monday.
The Giants bounced back from a difficult series against the Dodgers by sweeping the Athletics. However, San Francisco is still under .500 on the season. If they are going to make any kind of postseason run, they need to catch fire sooner than later.
Meanwhile, San Diego has dropped four games in a row and was swept by the Dodgers over the weekend. The Padres felt confident heading into LA following their strong trade deadline, but the Dodgers obviously weren't intimidated by their new acquisitions. San Diego will try and rebound against the Giants this week.
This projects to be a fun and entertaining series. It is also an important one for both of these teams. Expect both the Giants and Padres to come out of the gates strong on Monday.
The first pitch is scheduled for 9:40 PM EST on Monday, August 8th, at Petco Park in San Diego, CA.
San Francisco Giants at San Diego Padres Info
Location: Petco Park, San Diego, CA
Date: Monday, August 8th, 2022
TV: MLB.TV, Bally Sports San Diego, NBC Sports Bay Area
Top Sportsbooks Odds
BetOnline: Padres -1.5
Bovada: Padres-1.5
MyBookie: Padres -1.5
BetUS: Padres -1.5
BetNow: Padres -1.5
The San Francisco Giants are 49-59 against the run line so far this season.
The San Diego Padres are 51-60 against the run line so far this year.
The Giants are 29-23 against the run line when playing on the road.
The Padres are 19-35 against the run line when playing at their home ballpark.
San Francisco is 18-15 against the run line as an underdog this year.
San Diego is 29-47 against the run line as a favorite this year.
Betting on San Francisco Giants
The Giants enter this game fresh off of back-to-back wins. But overall, it has been a struggle for San Francisco.
Last season, many people expected the Giants to be a mediocre team. They responded by posting MLB's best regular season record.
Entering 2022, people once again expected SF to be a mediocre ball club. And this time, it appears they were right.
The Giants have hovered around .500 for most of the year. They can't seem to find much consistency. And their playoff chances are in serious doubt at the moment.
On the season, San Francisco is 24th in batting average, ninth in OBP, 14th in slugging percentage, 10th in home runs, and ninth in runs scored. So although they don't get base hits as often as they would like, the Giants still find ways to score runs.
The pitching hasn't been top-tier either in 2022. San Francisco is 17th in team ERA, 17th in WHIP, and 22nd in batting average against. However, they are first in home runs allowed.
So teams shouldn't expect to hit many homers against them.
Nonetheless, this will be a difficult series for San Francisco. LHP Alex Wood (7-9, 4.42) will get the ball to start this one for the Giants. He has good stuff but hasn't seen the results he'd like this season.
Betting on San Diego Padres
The Padres had the most hype of any team following the MLB trade deadline. People were cashing in their World Series bets on San Diego after the teams acquired both Juan Soto and Josh Bell.
But their momentum was stopped quickly after the Dodgers swept them in LA. The Padres scored all of four runs in three games combined. Additionally, they surrendered 20 Dodger runs in the three games.
The Padres need to bounce back this week.
On the season, they are 17th in batting average, ninth in OBP, 22nd in slugging percentage, 14th in runs scored, and 23rd in home runs. They are also ninth in ERA, ninth in home runs allowed, sixth in WHIP, and fifth in batting average against.
San Diego is a good team. They should be fine moving forward.
LHP Blake Snell (4-5, 4.16) will try and turn the ship around for San Diego on Monday.
San Francisco Giants at San Diego Padres Picks and Predictions
This game has potential to be very competitive. A couple of inconsistent left-handers are preparing to go head-to-head in this ball game. Either one of them is more than capable of turning in a dominant start.
However, either one of them is also capable of completely blowing up and getting removed early from the game.
So which team should we roll with in this one? The Padres enter play as the favorites, and rightfully so. They are the home team and have enjoyed a better season overall.
But the Giants are coming off of a couple of wins while San Diego is trying to rebound from a dreadful weekend in Los Angeles.
In the end, the Padres' home crowd and energy should be enough to help San Diego pull this one out. Sure, it's a Monday, and the fans may not be as loud as they would be during a weekend game. But the Juan Soto acquisition hyped up this fan base, and they are ready to have Petco Park rocking.
People sometimes forget about the effect fans have on the game. But a good fan base has the potential to lead teams to victories without question.
With all of that being said, I like the Padres as a favorite against the Giants. But don't expect a complete blowout or anything of that nature. This should be a fairly high-scoring and close affair.
But in the end, the Padres should find a way to pull out the win.
The Picks:
Go ahead and take the San Diego Padres -1.5 as your moneyline betting selection.
Take the over on the total.
Roll with the San Diego Padres -1.5 to cover the run line.
Check out the Best Sportsbooks to Bet Online at Online Betting Sports-TOP Offshore Sportsbooks and Sports Betting Bonuses


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Locals 2014: Molly Hayes
Explore Steamboat Explore-steamboat |
Lisa Schlichtman
lschlichtman@SteamboatPilot.com
Mind your Ps and Qs: Molly Hayes at Riggio's Italian Restaurant.
John F. Russell
If you peeked into the window of Mambo Italiano at lunchtime May 29, you would have seen 100 fifth-grade students filling the tables — the boys in collared shirts and ties, and the girls wearing their best skirts and dresses.
Sitting with backs straight, napkins in their laps and passing the salt and pepper to the right, they were practicing table manners they'd learned in the classroom from a woman they affectionately call Miss Molly Manners.
Molly Hayes has been teaching etiquette classes in Steamboat Springs since she and her husband, Todd, moved here in 2010. She does so for local fifth-graders at no charge. "I look at this as community service," she says.
Ever since growing up in Tampa, Florida, Hayes has been intrigued by etiquette, often reading manners books by Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt in a hammock by the lake. But she is quick to point out that her etiquette classes are the antithesis of the cotillions of her mother's generation. They aren't "stuffy" or "country clubby" but fresh and very applicable to modern-day life.
"It's light, fresh and well received by parents and kids," she says, her Southern accent fitting for someone teaching social graces. "We teach real-life skills they can relate to. I also teach good personal habits. If we feel good about ourselves, we'll treat others better."
Local parent Kim Brack, who helped create the program at Soda Creek Elementary with teacher Cindy Gantick, says the students love Molly "She has a Southern, genteel charm, and the kids really engage with her."
Fifth-grader Morgan Graham is also a big fan. "She's really kind for teaching us better table manners," Morgan says. "It takes a lot of courage to teach kids manners because we are a rowdy bunch."
Since founding Molly Manners (http://www.mollymanners.com) in 2010, Hayes, a former teacher with a master's degree in educational leadership, has expanded beyond Steamboat into the international market. To date, Molly Manners has business license agreements in 37 locations, including Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, the Philippines and Guatemala (people can purchase her business model, which includes curriculum, training and support). Hayes has developed three age-specific sets of curricula — "Nice is Right" for ages 3 to 6, "Kool to be Kind" for ages 7 to 11 and "The Young Sophisticate" for ages 12 to 17 — with lesson plans ranging from how to properly set the table and make good first impressions to interview skills and tips.
"Good manners are all about treating yourself and others with kindness and consideration," she says. "And it always starts with you — showing that consideration for yourself and others."
In Steamboat, she teaches character education and etiquette through the city Parks, Open Space and Recreational Services Department's after-school program and enrichment programs at Bud Werner Memorial Library. She also offers classes at Rex's American Grill & Bar and Steamboat Christian Center. While she and Todd recently purchased the Brown & Brown Agency (now Steamboat Select Insurance Group) and also are busy raising polite children, Ruby, 12, and Bruce, 9, she still has time to appreciate her new home.
"I love the people and sense of community here," she says. "Everyone looks out for each other. And I love that my kids can be outside without me worrying."
She also treasures family time outdoors — hours spent on the slopes and learning to fly fish. "You have to immerse yourself in the Steamboat culture of getting outside," she says. "We love it."
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