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Tag Archives: rachel lindsay
hey there ophelia-rachel:week 6
Hi Everyone! This may be going up as the new episode is airing, but it IS going up. The MLB Home Run Derby is up on my TV right now, so it is like it hasn't even aired yet, right?
We pick up on the two-on-one date, where Kenny confronts Lee about telling Rachel that Kenny had pulled him out of the van. When Kenny brings this up, Lee had the audacity to say, "I never said that." Uhmm, we literally had just seen him say that. Whatever, Lee sucks.
Kenny goes on a profanity ridden tirade against Lee, which Rachel luckily doesn't see. Rachel tells the men that she is making her decision based on who she trusts and who she believes, since they both are telling very different stories. She asks Lee to leave, saying that she doesn't trust him. However, she is not ready to give Kenny a rose and wants to spend more time with him that evening. Always wanting to get the last word, Lee tells Rachel that Kenny threatened him when he came back. Rachel just lets it roll off her back, but Kenny is not able to do the same. Rachel takes him to the helicopter so they can get to the next part of their date, and Kenny has to go back and talk to Lee. Rachel is super annoyed by this, as she can't understand why Kenny just can't put it behind him.
At night, Kenny is turning on thecharm. He speaks in a manner that is so sincere that you can't help but be enamored with him. If some people said the same things Kenny did they might come off as "lines" (cough, cough Josiah), but with him, it doesn't. Kenny has a lot going on in his "real" life, so he is taking the process seriously. I think that Rachel does like Kenny, and I enjoy(ed – spoiler alert!) watching their relationship develop in an organic manner.
At the rose ceremony, we get a lot of ITMs about how confident Josiah is going in. I'm pretty sure that ups his chances of going home by about 135%. My production/editing intuition was correct, as Josiah and Anthony are left without roses. Anthony was a quiet guy, but I liked him and am sad to see him go.
Rachel and the guys are headed to Denmark, and Eric has the first one-on-one date. I haven't really been able to get a good handle on Eric yet – he seems to be a good guy and to like Rachel, but he also seems pretty surly most of the time. However, on this date, he is incredibly charming. I'm not sure if he was waiting to have Rachel all to himself before really letting his personality shine, but I'm glad I got to see it. If the fun-loving side of Eric is the one that he was showing Rachel in allof their alone time, then it makes all the sense in the world why Rachel has kept him around.
At night, we learn a little bit about Eric's background. He tells Rachel that he never really received any love from his mom or family. He likes the way he is feeling towards Rachel but doesn't want to yet call it love because he doesn't even know what that feels like. This also helps to explain why Eric has been so guarded in this process and wanting to know where Rachel stands before really putting himself out there. He is so afraid to get hurt because he hasn't felt these feelings before. Rachel has confidence about the place they are and gives him the rose. The two of them continue their fun night by playing in the amusement park. I honestly got chills when the two of them were riding the roller coaster and Eric yelled, "Life is Beautiful!". It really is.
The group date is next and the guys are taught the Viking ways by Tom and Morton. All I got out of this portion of the date is Dean is definitely not a Viking, Kenny is the ultimateViking, and I would really like to have a Viking games birthday party.
At night, Rachel has a lot of good conversations with the men. She continues to be soon thirsty for Peter. He is always trying to get to know her and all Rachel wants is for Peter to kiss her. No judgment though, Rachel, we all get it.
Kenny is starting to worry about his relationship with Rachel because he has a lot riding on the outcome. He is missing spending time with his daughter McKenzie. I think that Rachel really cares for Kenny, she is shown spending part of her alone time with Matt asking about how Kenny is. When the two of them get together to talk they have a heart to heart about the process. He tells Rachel that he isn't 100% sure he is comfortable with the place their relationship is. Rachel takes in everything Kenny says but isn't ready to commit to Kenny that he is the one, which is ultimately what he wants to hear. He wants to hear Rachel fight for him to stay, but she just can't do it, especially when that fight would take him away from McKenzie for longer. Unfortunately, Rachel tells Kenny that she thinks it is best that he go home. I think the two of them have a lot of mutual respect for each other, and I really enjoy their friendship. I'm a big Kenny fan, and would love to see him in a future installment of the show – he really deserves a great woman.
At the end of the group date, Rachel gives the rose to Peter because she wants him.
Wil and Rachel have their one-on-one date next. Rachel is really looking for Will to be affectionate with her, and to take their relationship to the next level. Unfortunately for Will, he gets the awkward date editing from the beginning so I can't imagine it is going to go well.
At night, Rachel asks Will about his past relationships and to what he is attracted to. His response? "I typically date white girls." So not Rachel then, Will? We're shown a cutaway scene to the men talking about this issue. Eric thought it was important for Will to tell Rachel this information, while Dean didn't see it as an important fact at all. Eric assumes that Rachel would assume that Will had dated black women and that she would want to know that he generally did not. I don't have a real conclusion based on this conversation, I just think it is interesting to see the different perspectives.
Back on their date, Will says physical intimacy is important to him. He also says that he has been too physical in past relationships, and was neglecting words of affirmation. I think with Rachel, Will made the mistake of overcompensating from his past. Rachel was confused why Will wouldn't hold her or be physical with her, especially if he considered himself a passionate person – and she wasn't sure if he could get there with her. It made me sad for Will to realize he made a mistake in the way he approached their relationship because I think he is a great catch. I do applaud Rachel for going after what she needs in a relationship and knowing when it was just not there.
We finally end the episode with a rose ceremony, and Rachel is not feeling great about it. She has so few guys left, after sending 2 home during dates this week. She even has to pause the rose ceremony in order to collect herself. The only guy who didn't get a rose at the ceremony was Alex, who I was a big fan of. I thought he was funny and smart, and pretty easy on the eyes. Plus, his outfits were crazy! I'd love to see Alex in paradise, so hopefully, he comes back to the franchise!
From the previews, it looks like Rachel has a few rough weeks ahead of her before she finds her happy ending. I actually love that we know she gets engaged at the end because I can't wait for my girl to find love!
Find someone who holds your jacket the way @chrisbharrison holds @TheRachelLindsay's. #TheBachelorette https://t.co/idGMc0UNnb
Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) June 28, 2017
Josiah's got the confidence of a serial killer but he has a point about the doll... #TheBachelorette
BachShitCray (@Bach_ShitCray) June 28, 2017
If discussing "cool bricks" is the best you can muster on an epic country-hopping date, there's no hope #TheBachelorette
Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) June 28, 2017
Rachel's white jacket is Mackage, and is sold out everywhere. I struggled to even find anything similar, but there are some beautiful white belted coats out there. These are great options.
@therachlindsay in a @randirahm rose gold wrap dress. Shoes by @judithleiberny Earrings by @nanfusco Bracelets & rings by @thewoodsfinejewelry #makeup by @ginamo11 styling @krystine_couch
A post shared by Cary Fetman (@caryfetman) on Jun 27, 2017 at 8:23pm PDT
Rachel's sequin dress is Randi Rahm, and looks flawless on her. I love that it is a wrap design, which adds some added flair. You can rent a similar dress at Rent the Runway here or here! (Any screen grab I took just did not give this beauty justice).
I think Rachel's makeup looks amazing here. Girl can really pull off a beanie.
Rachel's casual cut out sweater is so cute. I wasn't able to confirm the exact sweater but this one is very close.
Peter looked so great at the rose ceremony, so I had to include his look.
Thanks for sticking with my poorly timed posts guys! I'm so appreciative of everyone who checks out this little corner of the internet. I'm always open to any feedback, so feel free to send me an email at thirdandgirl@gmail.com, or shoot me a message on Twitter @third_and_girl.
eric bigger, gifs, josiah graham, kenny king, peter kraus, rachel lindsay, randi rahm, the bachelorette, the bachelorette rachel, twitter, vikings, will gaskins	1 Comment
is she really going out with him?-rachel:week 5
Wow, I am the worst. Real life took over the past couple weeks – I had a crazy week at work to hit our 6/15 deadline and then capped that week off with an amazing weekend in Nashville to celebrate with one of my best girlfriends. I needed about a week to recover from that, only to go into a whirlwind wedding weekend in New Hampshire. I'm waving the white flag on two weeks of recaps – if I don't, I'll never get them done. The highlights of those two weeks: the funniest scene talking about a banana I've ever seen, Lee being a lunatic, America falling in love with Dean, and Rachel continuing to be the best Bachelorette I can remember. I'm determined to finish out the season, so let's get to recapping week 5.
We pick up at the cocktail party of the group date, with Kenny confronting Lee about talking to Rachel to him. Part of this argument stems from (besides Lee being an ass) the fact that Lee is using the word aggressive to describe Kenny. Despite being told that the word could be a trigger for Kenny, Lee continues to use the word, further annoying and enraging Kenny. I was really impressed with the calmness with which Kenny spoke to Lee, even if all of his frustration was evident under the surface. Kenny knows who he is and that he is there for Rachel, and he is working his hardest to not let someone who is there with disingenuous intentions get under his skin.
Bryan gets the group date rose, and Kenny gives a passive aggressive speech about how Bryan is not a snake. Lee tells him to F*** off, which made me laugh out loud. All of the smart guys in the house (Peter, Bryan, Will) know exactly what Lee is doing, and the fact that he would even get offended by Kenny's speech is laughable – he's getting exactly what he wants.
Next is Rachel's one-on-one with Jack, Jack Stone. You can tell this date isn't going to go well, simply by the way it is being produced. Jack isn't eloquent in his ITMs, and their interactions are being shown as awkward. Personally, if Rachel would just try calling him by his full name, they might have a chance.
Jack Stone tried so hard to have that romantic kiss moment, but Rachel was just not into it. She continuously gave him the cheek, but the guy was just so deliriously happy to be on this one-on-one date that he didn't see what was coming next. At dinner, Jack is pouring his heart out to Rachel about how he feels that they could really work out because they have so much in common. If they were spending a day together in their hometown of Dallas, he would just want to lock her in the house and lay in bed. Romantic, right? Rachel is not feeling it and sends Jack home. I feel for the guy because he really thought that things were going well. The real gut punch was the perma-grin that has been on his face since the beginning finally falling.
Rachel decides that they don't need a cocktail party, she knows what she is going to do. Iggy believes that the people who are going to go home are the ones who have been causing drama, pretty much unintentionally foreshadowing his own departure. Following Iggy out the door is the tickle monster, Jonathan. Oddly, I'm kind of sad to see him go. He seemed sweet and made Rachel laugh. I think the producers upped his creep factor, but he really needs to stop tickling people.
The crew is headed to Oslo, Norway and we get our first Dean sighting of the episode. What a welcome distraction.
Bryan's one-on-one date is up first and the two of them are just exploring the city of Oslo. they repel off a ski jump and obviously kiss on the way down. Everything between these two seems very easy, and this is causing Rachel to wonder why is he still single. He is 37, has a good job, is handsome, why has no other girl snatched him up? I think this will be a reoccurring doubt and fear that she has as her journey continues.
Rachel and Bryan's chemistry is off the charts. He is not my favorite (because, Peter) but I can see him making it very far in the quest for Rachel's heart. It is surprising to me that he is ready to drop the L-bomb already, the two of them haven't really spent any time together. Obviously, Bryan gets the rose.
The group date has the guys playing handball, and the singlets they were wearing were enough to keep me watching. Most of the guys are trying to be uber competitive (causing Rachel to make a 'Jordan in the '97 Bulls' reference, and causing me to girl crush even harder), but Peter has his eyes on the prize. He is flirting and being affectionate with Rachel any chance he gets, and I think it is winning him some major brownie points. He is just so adorable!
At the cocktail party, Will tells Rachel about his past relationship. He tells her that around the same time she was being heartbroken by Nick, he was being heartbroken by a girl that he was in love with and thought that he would never put himself back out there. Yet, somehow, here we are with Will on a nationally televised show to find love just a few months later. Hmmmm….
During Josiah's one-on-one time, Rachel calls him out for never trying to get to know her. He lays lines on her constantly, always trying to appear sincere but she sees right through it. Also, his hand was lingering on her shoulder so awkwardly the whole time, like he was afraid to touch her.
During Peter's one-on-one time, things get steamy. I LOVE that he puts the break on their make out session because they only have a limited amount of time to get to know each other. Her response, "Do you wanna cover ground in the hot tub?" I don't know about you but I didn't see much talking happening in the hot tub.
Will got the group date rose, and poor Peter is doubting himself a little. Personally, I think that she wanted to give Peter the rose but knew that it may make him a target for the guys. They already had mentioned that he was gone on his one-on-one time for awhile. All of this may be very incorrect, but I am shipping Rachel and Peter 4ever.
The two-on-one date between Lee and Kenny is up next, and we all know this isn't going to end well. Rachel and Kenny's time goes well, and Kenny only brings Lee up once. I think he is trying so hard to focus on her and their relationship, but the situation with Lee has just gotten under his skin too much.
During her time with Lee, he makes a point to tell Rachel all about Kenny. He says that Kenny pulled him out of a van and tried to get physical with him. Lee said that this side of Kenny comes out when he drinks and that he is a different person when he is not drinking. I have to think that if there was a physical altercation of any kind that the producers would have shown it. Not only that, all of the guys seem to be on Kenny's side.
Rachel tells Kenny about what Lee told her, and the entire thing is turning into a big game of 'he said, he said'. Understandably, Kenny is not pleased with Lee upon hearing this, and that is where we leave the episode.
All that being said….why do Kenny and Rachel appear to be so cold on this date, and Lee seems to be fine wearing a long sleeved henley? Anyone?
Peter: We have so much ground to cover Rachel: Do you want to cover it in the hot tub? #TheBachelorette https://t.co/IbKeriz7NL
Chanel Brown (@chanelb94) June 27, 2017
That night I thought Kenny was hitting a dance move at the rose ceremony...today I know it was a snake 藍藍藍 #TheBachelorette
Rachel Lindsay (@TheRachLindsay) June 27, 2017
Well, that's unfortunate. #TheBachelorette https://t.co/0qZYnR7UCK
Bachelor League (@BachLeague) June 27, 2017
Sorry for that one Jack – but I literally LOL'ed
Rachel went casual on her date with Jack. I found a cardigan similar to this one here.
I love the triple Maltese cross necklace Rachel wore on her one-on-one date with Jack. I'm pretty sure the designer is Nan Fusco, and it is 'call for availability' expensive. You can visit the designer's website for more information here. This side-eye is good too.
Rachel's sweater is BB Dakota, and I wasn't able to find the exact one anywhere. I did find some similar options here (sleeveless), here and here.
Rachel does athleisure so well. This bomber jacket is by Lime & Vine, and can be found here.
I am going to be crushing on this jacket big time come winter. The brand is Mackage, and I'm pretty sure this is the jacket, but if not its similar enough. It's not cheap, but looks so warm!
Thanks for coming back and checking out the blog after my unintentional hiatus. I'll be back soon to recap Episode 6 of Rachel's journey. Which of the guys do you think will be great with Rachel? I'd love to hear! You can find me @third_and_girl anytime!
bachelor gifs, bachelorette gifs, bachelorette style, bryan abasolo, gifs, jack stone, kenny king, lime & vine, mackage, nan fusco, peter kraus, rachel lindsay, Style, the bachelorette, the bachelorette rachel, tweets, twitter	Leave a comment
6Jun2017
who let the dogs out-rachel:week 2
As much as I want to write 1000 words about Copper and his pool party, I'm not sure that is what you guys are here for. That being said, expect a BUNCH of dog party gifs.
The first date of the week is a group date, where after a BBQ and some backyard football, the men compete to show Rachel who is the best "husband material". The relay race includes changing a diaper, vacuuming, unclogging a drain, and setting a table. The star power was amped up big time this episode, with Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis serving as guest judges for the competition. I know that tons of celebrities are fans of the Bachelor, but I think it speaks to the popularity of Rachel that two A-list celebrities wanted to come on and help her find love.
Unfortunately, Whaboom (this is what most of the men call him, and I think it's funny so I'm going to join them) wins the competition. I'm unsure if he won any extra time with Rachel, or if he is so boring that they just didn't show it. I was rooting for Kenny in this race because as a dad it seemed like he actually had the most experience in this arena. And he knew better than to dunk the babies head in the sink while "unclogging the drain".
During the evening, Rachel and the guys spend time, and Rachel is #unimpressed. None of the men are wowing her, filling her time with uninspired conversations, and the inability to make a move. The only guys who even attempt interesting conversation are Dean, who Rachel shares a sense of humor with, and Kenny, who tells Rachel about his daughter. We also find out on this date that Whaboom and Blake know each other from outside of the show. Blake says that he used to live with Lucas's ex-girlfriend and that he knows he is there just to gain publicity. Funny that Blake would say that, as Whaboom and Blake were on the same season of a show called 'Ex Isle', where couples came to fix their relationships, only to be tempted by 'sexy singles'. Lucas was there with his ex-girlfriend (the same one that Blake lived with), and Blake was there to try and create friction in the relationship. I don't blame either of them for not liking the other, but it's a bit of the pot calling the kettle black for Blake to say Lucas is there for the wrong reasons. Dean gets the group date rose, and finally takes initiative and kisses Rachel as he walks her out.
This has got to be the greatest surprise of Peter's life.
Is everyone ready to swoon? Peter gets the first one-on-one date, and Rachel is taking him to Palm Springs on a private jet. Not only that, her dog Copper is going along, and they are going to a dog pool party. If any of you know me, you know that this is literally my dream. I want to live at this dog pool party.
It took awhile for me to settle down from seeing all those dogs, but once I did I liked what I saw. Rachel and Peter have an ease about their relationship that can't be manufactured, you either have it or you don't. At night, Peter and Rachel bond over their mutual love of therapy and gapped teeth. The therapy conversation was interesting because it showed that both of them are interested in improving themselves, and are not afraid to ask for help when it comes to relationships. I think that this will help them both immensely as their relationship progresses.
The last date was another one I would love, a basketball date featuring Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. This season is really amping up the star power. The men were put through drills by Kareem, and he essentially just made fun of them the entire time. It was fantastic. DeMario and Eric thought they were ballers on the court, but only one of them could back up their talk with an actual game. Unfortunately for DeMario, that wasn't the only game he was playing.
At the conclusion of the date, Rachel is confronted by Lexi, a girl claiming to be DeMario's girlfriend. He essentially ghosted her upon coming on the show, and she had the text messages to prove it. There were so many great moments in this exchange; whether it be the look on DeMario's face when he recognizes Lexi and then remembers that he has to pretend he doesn't know who she is or, Rachel telling him to 'Get the F*&! out'. Gold.
Rachel is upset by this whole exchange and tells the remaining men that she isn't there to play games and if they are they can get out as well. I was surprised that she chose to have the nighttime portion of the date. In the past, I feel like if the lead has a large disruption to their process like this, they normally cancel the nighttime portion because the day has just been too much. At night, all the men seemed very concerned about Rachel, and how she is holding up after the afternoon's shocker. She has the best conversation with Josiah and gives him the group date rose.
At the rose ceremony, an uninvited guest shows up. Any guesses who? Obviously DeMario comes back to talk to Rachel. We don't get to see if Rachel allows him to talk to her as the episode ends with Mr. Harrison (as the security guard calls him) telling Rachel of DeMario's arrival. To be Continued….
I really hope this is the year that Paulie gets to go to Paradise. #TheBachelorette https://t.co/z7A5moVmzh
Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) May 30, 2017
Dean with his rose right now #TheBachelorette https://t.co/OZkD2FKpIv
Princess Problems (@PrincessProbz) May 30, 2017
ashton: what's a whaboom mila: it's the sound that he makes ashton: why mila: just because he can ashton: *looks very sad* #TheBachelorette
Claire Fallon (@ClaireEFallon) May 30, 2017
Obviously Rachel is always going to be the best dressed in this season, unless her gal pals make more appearances. Here are the details on some of her outfits from this episode!
For the afternoon BBQ, Rachel opted for a fun floral dress. Her dress is Self-Portrait and can be found here.
Rachel wore this sparkly shift dress to the nighttime portion of her basketball date. This dress is Mlv and appears to be sold out. I found a similar dress in a different color which can be found here (and it's on sale! WOOT!).
This zipper detailed dress Rachel wore is absolute fire. This dress is by Michelle Mason, and can be found here (at over 50% off).
Rachel's rose ceremony dress is by Mac Duggal and can be bought here.
I tried so hard to find this asymmetrical ribbed sweater that Rachel wore to play with Copper. Alas, I didn't have any luck. I did find a pretty similar sweater here, although it has a bit of a high price tag.
What did you guys think of Episode 2 of Rachel's quest to find love? I'm still loving Peter and Kenny, and am looking forward to getting to know even more of the men!
ashton kutcher, bachelorette, bachelorette style, copper, dogs, gifs, kareem abdul-jabbar, mac duggal, michelle mason, mila kunis, mlv, rachel lindsay, self-portrait, the bachelorette rachel	3 Comments
that's my girl-rachel:week 1
So much for keeping up with the blog over the Bachelor break. Thankfully, Rachel is back to charm us in her search for love. The first week is always low on story and high on men, so I want to highlight the four guys who I think have the best chance to win Rachel's heart.
Number 1 in my power ranking is Peter. He was first out of the limo which is always a telling sign of someone lasting awhile. Although he didn't seem to have much to say to Rachel besides that he was from Wisconsin, I'm going to chalk that up to nerves. From a quick poll of my friends, we all mentioned Peter as the cutest. I mean, they have matching gaps in their teeth – meant to be!
Josiah came in with the most touching story, and seems authentic and sincere. Rachel appreciates his honesty when he tells her about his rough background, and they seem to be beginning to build a genuine connection. Josiah loses some brownie points for being bombastic and a bit over confident in his belief that he will end up with Rachel. I'm hoping that being called near the middle of the pack at the rose ceremony will knock him down a few pegs, and he will begin to shine.
Kenny is my dark horse pick. As a professional wrestler, I worried that he was just coming on the show to gain screen time and advance his career. However, seeing him interact with his daughter in his video package put him in a whole new light for me. He seems to truly want to build a family for his daughter, and he seems like a great guy (having sex with a woman while her husband watches not withstanding).
Bryan got Rachel's first impression rose, so I'd bet that he's staying around for awhile. He seems a bit mysterious, and I think Rachel likes that. She also seems to like kissing him. In his video package he seems to be close to his family, but I want to learn about him before I give him front runner status.
I can't even comment on the Whaboom guy or that weird Adam Jr. doll. I hope we get past these ridiculous gimmicks soon (although Adam seems kinda normal).
"Oh no, this is his thing...it's not mine." https://t.co/HgfpRaEopT
I would like to thank this current batch of bachelorette guys for setting the creepiness factor so high literally no one will remember me.
Evan Bass (@ebassclinics) May 23, 2017
A blast from Rachel's past... but did he have sex with anyone at Jade and Tanner's wedding?? #TheBachelorette
Mel (@melgotserved) May 23, 2017
Rach only sported one outfit tonight, a stunning Randi Rahm (the same brand that JoJo wore for her first night) gown. I loved her fur stole, and I'm looking forward to seeing Rachel's outfits throughout her journey.
What did you guys think of the premiere? Any front runners? Let me know in the comments!
bryan abasolo, gifs, josiah graham, kenny king, peter kraus, rachel lindsay, randi rahm, the bachelorette, the bachelorette rachel, twitter	Leave a comment
blessings-nick:week 10
We've done it guys, we've made it through an entire season of Nick as the Bachelor. Vanessa was the big winner, and walked away with a fiance and a large Neil Lane ring. Let's see how we got there.
Both Vanessa and Raven meet Nick's family, and in my opinion Raven made a better impression. She may have had a leg up as she had already met them back in Wisconsin. Nick's sister Bella even told her she hopes that Raven would be the winner.
Raven is all in on the relationship, and has no hesitations about getting engaged to Nick. Unfortunately, Vanessa is the queen of hesitations, and has no problem sharing those hesitations with Nick's family. She is worried that love is not enough to make the relationship work, and even tells Nick's dad that exact thing. Nick's parents are understandably reserved when it comes to Vanessa, as they have seen Nick get his heart broken a million and one times.
Even though I thought Vanessa's visit went worse than Raven's, I thought this was the first sign that she might be the one. In Andi's book, she mentions that she had Nick meet her family first, so that their expectations would be lower, and she could really impress them with the guy that she wanted to marry.
For their last date, Vanessa and Nick take a sleigh ride to Santa's hut. Santa gives them a really cool wooden carving that is meant to bring happiness and fertility. It's actually pretty sincere and cool how excited Vanessa gets about Santa, as she really is just being a kid again in that moment.
At night, Vanessa wants the answers from Nick that can make her confident in her decision. Unfortunately, Nick isn't able to give her the answers that she wants. I liked that Nick knew what she wanted to hear, but refused to tell her just because its what she wanted to hear. He wanted to be sure he was confident in his decision before making any rash decisions.
For his date with Raven, the two of them went ice skating, reminiscent of their first one-on-one date at the skating rink. One thing about Nick's relationship with Raven that I have always enjoyed is that they always seem to have fun together. His relationship with Vanessa is intense, full of questions, and serious discussions. With Raven, Nick is just able to let loose, have fun, and enjoy life. Plus this date involved puppies, so it was an automatic win.
There was substantially less drama at night with Raven and Nick, as her confidence was through the roof. Raven was convinced that Nick was the one for her and she would be engaged the next day.
Unfortunately for Raven, that was not to be. After a record 4th meeting with Neil Lane, Nick is ready for the proposal. Raven gets out of the limo first, and we now know that Vanessa is the one. I applaud Raven for keeping it together in the face of rejection. The best line of the night was Nick saying, "I'm going to miss you," and Raven saying, "I know." What a bad-ass confident girl.
Also, you could have at least given her her coat to walk her to the rejection car, Nick.
The music swells as Vanessa gets out of the limo, and she walks in to meet Nick. Oddly, Nick talks first, telling Vanessa all the reasons he loves her before she professes her love to him. There is nothing wrong with this, it just goes against the normal script of the show. As she's stated many times, Vanessa is skeptical and not sure if she's ready to get engaged. However, when Nick gets down on one knee and flashes that Neil Lane diamond at her, she says yes right away. Congrats to the happy couple!
At After the Final Rose, Raven looked amazing and announced that she was going on Paradise. She is such a quintessential southern belle that she didn't have anything bad to say about Nick, and even said she thinks that him and Vanessa will get married. After their appearance together, I'm not sure I can agree.
When Nick and Vanessa are brought out together, their interaction is so awkward. They both admit that the relationship has been hard, and they are excited to have a normal relationship. While I don't doubt that, I think it has been a little harder than they admitted. The two of them didn't seem to be that excited to take their relationship public, and focused on the difficulties they've been having instead of the exciting things they have to look forward to. I really don't think these two are going to make it.
Additionally, the Bachelor did something crazy and had Rachel meet some of the men that are going to be vying for her heart in the upcoming season of the Bachelorette. This choice, while interesting, may have been made to take some of the attention of Nick and Vanessa. In all the other After the Final Rose specials I can remember, the episode ends with the happy couple talking to their friends, fans, and family in the audience. At the end of this episode, the happy couple was replaced by Rachel. I think production is ready to sweep this relationship under the rug and get the focus on the potential that Rachel has as the Bachelorette.
I think this was an OK season of the Bachelor. Corinne was great TV and a real stand out reality TV star. I'm excited to see a few of the women in Paradise (Alexis, Sarah, Raven – but I have no idea if any of them besides Raven will be going), and happy for Nick if he truly has found love. Getting your heart broken is hard enough, but being ready to propose twice, being rejected, and doing it on national TV is even more difficult.
She smiled more saying the word "breakfast" than she has the entire ten minutes talking about Nick. #TheBachelor
Princess Problems (@PrincessProbz) March 14, 2017
Fertility is a little aggressive, Santa. Bold move.
BachShitCray (@Bach_ShitCray) March 14, 2017
Harrison: "We just helped another Bachelor find love." But did we? #TheBachelorFinale https://t.co/Ov7lKxIi8W
Bachelor Burn Book (@bachelorburnbk) March 14, 2017
Raven was in full out revenge mode during her appearance on After the Final Rose. Her dress is STYLESTALKER (a favorite among the women this season) and can be found here.
I thought Raven's sweater dress was a little different, as it has a pattern that is more normally found on a cardigan. It was perfect for the Finnish weather. Raven's dress is Woolwich (not surprising, I even said to my roommate, "do you think Woolwich is sponsoring this, considering how much they are making sure Nick's tag is showing?"). You can find the dress on Amazon here (I just bought it).
With that Bachelorette budget, Rachel looked great to meet some of her guys. I loved the bold choice of a jumpsuit, with a cape, and she pulled it off flawlessly. Her caped jumpsuit is Jovani, and you can find it here (it allows you to search for a store near you where they carry it!).
And that's a wrap on Nick's season of the Bachelor! Are you guys as excited as me to see Rachel as the Bachelorette? Do you think Nick made the right choice? I'd love to know! Let me know in the comments, or you can always find me @third_and_girl.
after the final rose, bachelor, bachelor nick, bachelor style, gifs, nick viall, nick viall bachelor, rachel lindsay, raven gates, the bachelor, twitter, vanessa grimaldi	1 Comment
firework-nick:week 9
Short episode last week, hella long episode this week. Most of this post is going to focus on the actual episode (both parts), and then I'll cover some of the outfits from the Women Tell All. I really don't want to write about that, as it's just a bunch of people trying to talk over each other.
The episode starts with the Andi/Nick "confrontation" that was teased at the end of the last episode. I know you were all shocked to discover that this confrontation was really just Andi giving Nick advice as he heads into the Fantasy Suites. I question the choice of the producers to bring Andi back, as she didn't have the kindest words to say about her personal Fantasy Suite experience with Nick in her book. That being said, we did get to see Andi bring up Nick's infamous, "if you weren't in love with me why did you make love to me?" quote which makes me laugh every time I hear it. Sorry, Nick.
The rose ceremony had very little drama for me. With Rachel being announced as the Bachelorette so long ago, I didn't have any doubts that she made it to the top 3.
Nick's goodbye to Corinne was kind of bizarre. He seemed to really like her, but know that she was not ready to be married, but simultaneously seemed happy to send her packing. In her exit interview, Corinne went on a rant about how she no longer is going to try and act a certain way to impress a man. Take your own advice Corinne, and we'll see you in Paradise!
Vanessa, Raven, Rachel and Nick are heading to Finland, somewhere I personally have always wanted to go. Seeing the Northern Lights is definitely on my bucket list. Raven has the first Fantasy Suite date, and I really love her and Nick together. Their conversation seems so natural, and I think the two of them could really build a life together. I also like that Raven is not afraid to give Nick some of her sass.
As much as I love Raven, I really wish we hadn't spent such a long time hearing about how she had never had an orgasm. I have to believe there were a few too many alcoholic beverages and a bit of producer goading that got her to admit that on camera. Although this is the girl who admitted to beating an ex with a stiletto so maybe she truly has no filter. The first half of the episode ends with Nick and Raven cuddling in this ah-mazing skylit room, so we had to wait a whole week to see how Nick stacked up to Raven's ex.
The next morning, Raven gives the impression that Nick really satisfied her needs. I'm a little sad that that was the least gross way that I could put that. Kudos to the producers for the extended montage of Raven skipping through Finland after her night with Nick.
The next date is Rachel, and SPOILER ALERT she's the new Bachelorette. So I had to imagine this would be her and Nick's last date. As much as the Bachelor producers don't mind spoiling part of their show, I don't think they would want to spoil the final rose.
Nick and Rachel go cross-country skiing, and I was LOL-ing at Rachel's ineptitude at this activity. As she is my ultimate girl crush I imagine she is good at everything, but apparently she is good at everything but cross-country skiing. They ski into a lodge where they have their heart-to-heart which is always about Rachel's fear of being rejected and opening up.
At night, Rachel finally drops the bomb that she is falling in love with Nick….uh duh. Nick is giggling like a school girl at this news and I still can not for the life of me figure out how she is not the one. The two spend the night in the fantasy suite and then spend an adorable morning making breakfast together. Rachel's penguin onesie just makes me love her even more.
Vanessa and Nick spend their date jumping from an ice bath into a sauna. Nick seems to be a bit of a baby and unable to stay in the ice bath for more than .5 seconds, while Vanessa is ready to set up camp.
Luckily for Nick, the Bachelor producers have blessed him with a hot tub, so that he can have a heart to heart with Vanessa about their futures. I found it weird Nick kept calling Vanessa's family traditional….as in they just had a lot of family traditions. To me, traditional harkens back to more of traditional family values aka June Cleaver and the families of the 50's. Am I the only one?
For some reason, Nick and Vanessa's relationship seems combative to me. They always seem to be arguing, which I think Nick likes because it keeps him on his toes. However, their arguments never have a resolution. For example, they talk about the fact that they currently live in different countries and where they would live if they got engaged, but never actually come to any type of decision or meeting of the minds. It's very odd to me.
That being said, Vanessa is obviously in love with Nick (I don't see it, but of course she is, it's the Bachelor). She tells him at dinner, and he has a seriously odd look on his face. I'm not sure if it is the camera angle, but it seems like he's not even looking at her. It could be producer manipulation of the actual conversation or Nick is just a weirdo, I wouldn't be surprised either way.
At the rose ceremony, we know Rachel is going home but that doesn't make it any less hard to see her go. Nick seemed really broken up about it, mentioning that he selfishly hopes that this isn't the end of their relationship. Uhmm, maybe don't break up with her then Nick? He really missed out on a good one with her.
"Hey we disagreed all day. I love you." #TheBachelor
Bach Tweets (@BachBatch) March 07, 2017
If anyone's still wondering why Rachel's the Bachelorette, she just used the word "reciprocity" correctly. On #TheBachelor. Let that sink in
Sandra Di (@Sandra_Di_) March 07, 2017
My actual reaction when I found out @viallnicholas28 prefers ironing over steaming clothes. #TheBachelor https://t.co/lOWzEbyg8C
Carolyn Lasky (@carolaskyn) March 01, 2017
I am obsessed with the jumpsuit that Danielle M. wore to the Women Tell All, as well as her new platinum hair color. She looks amazing. Unfortunately for us, Danielle's jumpsuit was custom made by Cavanagh Baker, who made her jumpsuit that I loved in this episode. I found a few that were comparable here and here.
Sarah has been a style favorite of mine throughout the entire season, and she didn't disappoint at the Women Tell All. She looked adorable in a lace Stylestalker romper, which can be purchased on their website here. If the price point isn't for you (don't worry, me either), this romper can be rented through the Stylist LA, which works a lot like Rent the Runway. I liked how she paired it with a criss-cross undershirt to amp up the deep v-neck.
When Rachel came out for her time as the Bachelorette, we knew she was going to be looking great, she's got that Bachelorette budget now. Rachel's dress is by Dion Lee and can be found here. I found a few more cost effective options here and here.
The next episode is the finale, and we will finally find out who Nick has decided to break up with in a few months….I mean get engaged to. Who do you think it is, Raven or Vanessa? Let me know!
source for gifs not made by me
bachelor, bachelor nick, danielle maltby, gifs, nick viall, nick viall bachelor, rachel lindsay, raven gates, sarah vendal, the bachelor, twitter, vanessa grimaldi	Leave a comment
my town-nick: week 8
We're so close to the end! This week we had hometowns (and no rose ceremony), which included a lot of heartwarming and fun moments! Let's get to them.
Us too, Nick
In my opinion, we started the week with the most successful home town date, which was an interesting choice by producers. I guess it was low drama so best to get the normal date out first. From the beginning, Raven and Nick's chemistry was out of control. That make out in the rice field was HOT!
I was genuinely moved by Raven's dad telling her about his clean bill of health. I know first hand what its like when one of your parents is battling serious health issues, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You can tell that this is a tight family, and Raven is looking for a love like her parents'. Nick got the stamp of approval, but was Raven's dad worried about a shotgun wedding?
During her hometown date in Dallas, Rachel takes Nick to her church. I loved how welcoming all of the congregation seemed towards Nick, especially the lady who tapped him on the shoulder while the minister was addressing him.
'Hey, he's talking about you'
At home, I think America was collectively disappointed that Nick didn't get to meet Mr. Lindsay and accidentally call him Sam to his face. We did get to meet Rachel's mom and sisters, and talk a lot about the fact that Nick and Rachel are an interracial couple. I understand that this is a serious issue, but I hope that Rachel's entire season isn't spent discussing interracial relationships in America. As far as I'm concerned, love is love.
Corinne's hometown date actually made me like her – kinda. I'm starting to see why Nick has been keeping her around – who wouldn't want to spend time with that friend who is willing to throw down her credit card for a $3,000 shopping spree. I'm kidding (a little), it is evident that Corinne really does like Nick and he enjoys having fun with her. I don't see them having a sustainable grown up relationship, but I don't think Corinne is quite as diabolical as I did at the beginning of the season.
Finally, we are graced with the infamous Racquel's presence. It was really heartwarming to see how excited Racquel was to see Corinne, and I do think Corinne sees her as a member of the family. As exciting as it was to meet Racquel, the real star of this date was Corinne's dad, who we never see without a drink in his hand.
I thought it was an interesting look into post-Bachelor life when Corinne's dad asked her what Nick did for a job and she said, "he was a software salesman." I don't think Nick has been a software salesman since he was on Andi's season. Corinne's dad is very concerned that Nick won't be able to support his daughter's lifestyle on Instagram ads and paid appearances.
I think Vanessa wins for best "date" portion of the hometown dates as she takes Nick to meet her students. You could really tell how much she means to them. It was a real 'I'm not crying you're crying' moment when a few of her students started to tear up.
Vanessa's parents aren't together, so Nick gets to meet both parents separately. Vanessa's family seems very hung up on what will happen to this relationship once it enters the real world. Where will they live aka Nick will you move to Canada because Vanessa is not allowed to leave? While in the actual real world I don't think anyone should be forced to move unless they are absolutely certain and ready, Bachelor world is not the real world. Of course Vanessa will move to L.A. to be with Nick, and perhaps to sit in the audience while he competes on Dancing With the Stars. (I think Kaitlyn is the only lead in recent memory to move for their fiancé).
Vanessa's dad is having none of Nick's attempts to charm. He continuously questions Nick on whether he is serious about his daughter because there are still 3 other girls in the process. When Nick asks Vanessa's dad for her hand in marriage, he scoffs at the request. He can't give his blessing (happily) when Nick also asked three other dads the same question.
The rose ceremony will be back in New York City, and all the women are nervous. Not as nervous as Nick is though, when he opens his hotel room door to see ex-lover Andi Dorfman standing there.
When #TheBachelor brings up "tonight's rose ceremony" with 3 minutes left in the episode. https://t.co/ClwTCFSFea
Bach Bracket (@bachbrack) February 21, 2017
How are they not having cheese pasta right now? #TheBachelor
Princess Problems (@PrincessProbz) February 21, 2017
Rachel's family: "Nick, do you know what these items on your plate are?" Nick: "Yes? I do eat food from time to time." #TheBachelor
Bachelor Burn Book (@bachelorburnbk) February 21, 2017
I loved the camisole Raven wore to her hometown date. I'm pretty sure it was the Zoe by CamiNYC, and I can't find it in stock anywhere. You can find a similar top here (same designer) and more similar camisoles here and here (lower price point!).
I also really liked Vanessa's hometown outfit. The lace-up of the top adds some sexiness, but the fur vest makes it acceptable for that Canada weather. I found some similar lace-up tops here and here, and (faux)fur vests here and here!
I think Raven is my favorite going into the rose ceremony (besides Rach, obviously), although Vanessa is equally impressive. There is just a fun side of Raven that I like that I haven't really seen in Vanessa Who do you guys think is going to take home Nick's final rose? Let me know in the comments!
bachelor, bachelor nick, bachelor style, corinne olympios, gifs, nick viall, nick viall bachelor, rachel lindsay, raven gates, the bachelor, tweets, vanessa grimaldi	Leave a comment


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In October 2017 Crystal Behn-Dettieh started her small home-based business 'In Her Footsteps'. Crystal is of Dene and Carrier ancestry. She was born and raised in Treaty 8 traditional territory and now currently resides in her home community of Fort Nelson First Nation in northern British Columbia, along with her husband and three young children.
Crystal grew up watching her mother make and sell beaver fur hats, mitts, mukluks and moccasins worldwide. Sadly, her mother passed away from cancer while Crystal was still in her addiction. Two years into her sobriety and pregnant with her first child, Crystal felt it of utmost importance that she learned from her grandma Mary Behn the art of beading and moccasin making. She also learned traditional harvesting of meat and fur from her Grandparents.
In the spring her family harvests beaver and duck, and in the fall they harvest moose. It's taken many years and a lot of patients to learn how to perfectly cut and smoke drymeat. "My husband Jason is my biggest support. Without his guidance many of these traditional activities wouldn't be possible. We teach our kids as much as we can, they have to learn twice the knowledge; the colonized ways and the old ways of the land."
To be considered a master beader, one needs to have practised for over 20 years; beading has been Crystal's passion for just under a decade. Up until her launch she kept or gave away her beautiful pieces. It wasn't until she walked away with four first palace wins that she felt confident to share her art with the world.
In the last three years Crystal has entered many art contests. In 2015 she entered a writing contest and placed first with her interpretation of what life would look like in the year 2035 titled 'Generations'. In 2017 she took first place when she entered an online traditional art contest with "most likes" for her beaded moose hide purse. Again, in 2017 she took two first place wins for her first ever painting and pair of beaded mukluks. With all these accomplishments a decision was made, in October 2017 Crystal became a 'Storyboot Artist' for the company Manitobah Mukluks. The same day her products launched they were selling out. Her website and facebook page were revealed the same day, since then many people have reached out wanting her products.
The orders are nonstop and the wait list is long, with people saying they'll wait as long as it takes. "I will only use traditional hand smoked moose hide, if it's not made with hand smoked moose hide its not authentic to the Dene, or the traditional ways of my people. My Ancestors didn't have the option of buying factory-tanned hides. I take immense pride in being able to call my work traditional and authentic. My main suppliers for moose hide are in Meander River Alberta and Fort Liard Northwest Territories because I want the highest quality for my products".
In May 2018 Crystal entered the Peace Liard Juried Art Exhibit where she won the People's Choice Award and Chosen Award for her two pieces 'In Her Footsteps' and 'Aunties House'. She was also selected for a full scholarship to the Toni Onley Artists Project for professional and emerging artist which will take place in Wells BC.
From hand sketching her logo which represents her Mother, Auntie Elaine and Grandma Mary to skinning beaver in the spring; Crystal aims to bring beautiful art to everything she hand makes. "Those three woman were gone before I started 'In Her Footsteps', they're the ones I long to run to and show off my latest work. I would always drive to Grandma's house to have her approve everything I made. One day we'll all sit in heaven and bead together. It's so hard sometimes having them gone, but I'm so thankful to have an amazing circle of support from my friends and family.
Crystal recently completed the Aboriginal BEST program in business entrepreneurship skills training. "My goal is to have a successful, reputable legacy to leave my children."
In her spare time, Crystal enjoys cooking, gardening, painting, spending time at her family's cabin on the trapline, hunting and raising her family.
Be sure to check out the In Her Footsteps Facebook page!


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text:
2019 Distell Inter Hotel Challenge Wine Steward Candidate: Ameera Khan
Showcook
We introduce you to 2019 Distell Inter Hotel Wine Steward Candidate: Ameera Khan from the Southern Sun Elangeni & Maharani hotel.
A career in wine and hospitality was probably the last thing Ameera Khan imagined while growing up in Durban. But the 22-year-old hostess at the Southern Sun Elangeni & Maharani hotel was recently selected to compete in the annual Distell Inter Hotel Challenge, which recognises young talent in the South African hospitality industry. As an up and coming young South African female wine steward, Khan hopes to change perceptions and receptivity to wine among traditional Indian communities. "Drinking wine as a young Indian female was frowned upon. And something I would never have imagined developing an interest for. However, I defied the odds and followed my passion. I am slowly learning that wine is an art; from the minute that bottle is opened, to the glass that is used, to the way it's poured and finally the sip. It is an overall beautiful experience," said Khan. Now through the mentorship by the hotel's Food & Beverage managers and the Vigour & Verve restaurant, the aspirant wine enthusiast has developed an attuned wine palate which she describes as "a sense of personal accomplishment."
She admits that she has a special appreciation for Chardonnay which she says is her favourite blend. Khan joined the International Hotel School in June 2015 to pursue a career in Hospitality Management where she completed her studies two years later. "I was lucky enough to secure an internship at the iconic Southern Sun Elangeni & Maharani hotel where I was committed to succeeding. I walked in at a very busy period and was overwhelmed having being exposed to the fast-paced environment for the first time," said Khan who started as a trainee learning about guest relations, people skills, coping with large numbers and reservations.
She thereafter moved on to join the banqueting team where she was responsible for the "set up" of venues, as well as guest service during events. "It was like being on a huge ship and working in the engine room to ensure that it's a smooth ride. I certainly made the most of that year and learnt that a happy guest is certainly the most rewarding." Khan then moved on to gain experience as a waitress and was quickly promoted to a hostess at Vigour & Verve restaurant, where she managed the establishment and ensured guests were satisfied. "I love the vibrancy of the industry where I get to interact with different types of people every day. It drives me and develops my skills further." Commenting on her participation in the Distell Inter Hotel challenge, Khan says she was ecstatic and felt sincerely grateful to be given this opportunity to put her best foot forward. "I am particularly honoured to represent Southern Sun Elangeni & Maharani hotel and compete against other great hotels. Just being part of it makes me feel as I have already achieved and I am appreciative to all those who believed in me." Khan's role as the candidate wine steward will require her to pair wines which complement the candidate chefs menu as well as prepare an additional cocktail," said Khan.
More about The Inter Hotel Challenge
The Distell Inter Hotel Challenge aims to encourage development in the hospitality industry, giving a much-needed leg up to young talent. It is an annual challenge run by Showcook, where hotels in South Africa are matched with Distell's fine wines and spirits. Young wine stewards & chefs are nominated by their hotels and compete annually for the top spot. The candidates receive training, do cook-offs and exams to improve and test their skills and awarded at a glittering 'Oscars' event in August.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Q: How many digital audio recordists does it take to screw in alight bulb?
A: Forget light bulbs; take a look at this new bulb-emulation plug-inthat models vintage incandescents and is compatible with all of themajor vintage lamp plug-in formats.
If all of the new plug-ins listed in this article — and thethousands of effect, sampling, synthesis and utility parametersembodied in them — aren't enough to help you make better and moremusic, then seek counseling soon. This year's list includes all typesof software plug-in categories that were newly released orsignificantly upgraded since the 2001 Summer NAMM show, including someof the releases planned for next month's AES convention.
Demonstrated at this year's Winter NAMM and released in June,Akai Professional's (www.akaipro.com) new line of VST audio processorsmarks the company's first foray into software plug-ins.
DecaBuddy ($149) can add up to nine harmony parts to a vocal track,using preset scales, user-defined scales, a harmony editor screen orMIDI to create up to five independent vocal parts. Voices can beassigned subtle, random delay and pitch shifts to"humanize" harmonies, and they can be controlled from akeyboard controller or sequencer. A Formant function can change women'svoices into men's (and back again). Platforms: Mac, PC, VST.
It's no surprise that QuadComp ($149) is a 4-bandcompressor/expander with linear-phase FIR filters that split signalsinto four separate bands without phase shift or distortion. Thirteenpresets select QuadComp's frequency bands from 50 to 12,500 Hz, withselectable crossover slopes at 6, 12, 18 and 24 dB per octave.Platforms: Mac, PC, VST.
To create 50-band robotic voices and other special effects, checkout D.C. Vocoder ($149). An internal six-voice synthesizer andmodulator signal can create vocoder effects, even without a carriersignal. A formant stage provides additional gender-bending, and the 50bands' levels can be controlled like a traditional parametric EQ.Platforms: Mac, PC, VST.
PitchRight ($149) pitch-corrects vocals and instruments in real timeusing just three parameter controls. Ratio sets the amount of pitchcorrection, Calibrate controls the reference pitch frequency andSmoothing adjusts all corrections for vibrato without influencing thetransition time between notes. Platforms: Mac, PC, VST.
Rotator ($149) is a rotary speaker cabinet-modeling plug-in thatemulates the standard rotation speed values of an original physicalcabinet that can be detuned ±25%. Cabinet distortion iscontrollable, as is the placement of a pair of "virtual stereomicrophones" to create anything from a mono signal to a 120°stereo spread. Platforms: Mac, PC, VST.
If you can carry a tune far better than you play synth, then checkout kantos 1.0 ($299) from Antares Audio Technologies (www.antarestech.com), a multiplatform"audio-controlled synthesizer" that can be controlled byany pitched monophonic audio source, such as voice or trumpet, to driveanything a MIDI controller can. In addition to traditional synthmodules, an Articulator module dynamically applies the harmonic contentand formant information present at the source signal's input to theplug-in's synth engine. Platforms: Mac, PC, MAS, VST, RTAS,DirectX.
Applied Acoustics Systems' (www.applied-acoustics.com) Lounge Lizard EP-1($199) is an extensive assortment of just about all of the electricpiano sounds that any roadhouse player could need. Laid out like ahardware desktop beat box, Lounge Lizard provides rotary virtual knobsfor controls over mallet stiffness and force, time decay and tone,pickup position symmetry and distance. Applied Acoustics uses its ownproprietary modeling technique to re-create the classic electric pianosof past and present. Platforms: PC, Mac, VST, DXi, MAS,DirectConnect.
Arturia's (www.arturia.com) Storm 2.0 ($149) is a hefty updateto this stacked, stand-alone, VST Instrument and ReWire-savvy studioinstrument. Supporting Mac OS X and Windows 95 through XP, thedual-operation Storm is a comprehensive selection of 13 virtualinstruments and 10 effects processors, including an easy-to-use stepsequencer with improved interactive features. Pattern-based synth,sampler, bass and drum modules can stack or sit alongside distortion,delay, mixer and an assortment of other tools to tweak melodies andloops as far as the user's CPU will allow. Platforms: MultiMac, PC, VSTReWire.
BIAS' (www.bias-inc.com) Vbox ($99) multi-effects controlenvironment for VST plug-ins now has Windows and Mac OS X supportworking in either stand-alone or as a VST effects plug-in, and all BIASaudio products now support OS X, as well.
Brand-new from the company in the plug-in category this year isSuperFreq ($79 download), and it is super freak-ayy. Native to OS X,this mastering-quality, real-time, 10-band, paragraphic EQ plug-in is atrue Carbon Event-driven OS X tool with -18 to +18dB gain values,wide-Q bandwidth values, individual band-bypass buttons, 24dB stereoinput/ output meters and sweepable frequencies ranging from 20 to 20kHz. SuperFreq, one of the first Mac OS X-native plug-ins offered,operates with any Carbonized VST-host environment and can alternatelybe launched as an 8-band EQ to save on system drain. Platforms: Mac,VST.
Big Fish Audio (www.bigfishaudio.com) created quite a ripple on theplug-in pond by announcing an interesting sort of hybrid plug-informat. Don't panic: UVI (Universal Virtual Instrument) isn't yetanother proprietary plug-in format but rather the ultimate democraticone. Essentially three product types rolled into one, each newreal-time UVI plug-in is equal parts virtual instrument and sampleplayer, VST/MAS/RTAS plug-in and large sound library. And, mostimportantly, sounds can be accessed via MIDI and played and modifieddirectly through the console of your favorite DAW software. Sound filescan be edited parameter-by-parameter and saved directly to asequence/song for an all-in-one music, sound and patch info file.Installed and opened just like any other plug-in, the Big Fish UVIinterface remains the same, regardless of which library is loaded.Controls over amplitude and filter envelopes, LFO rate, depth anddestinations, velocity curves, filter, pan, gain and sample-programmanagement are provided.
Eight new UVI plug-ins called Plug-sounds, each with more than 600MB of high-quality sampled sounds, were released by Big Fish to helplaunch the new borders-ignorant format. Volumes 1 through 6 (KeyboardsCollection, Fretted Instruments, Drums and Percussion Elements, Hip Hopand R&B Toolkit, World of Synthesizers and Global Collection;$99.95 each) provide a wide palette from which to paint your nextproduction. Platforms: Mac, PC, VST, MAS, RTAS.
Two new high-quality effects plug-ins to reach CreamWare's(www.creamware.com) DSP platforms are VintageCompressor Vinco and MasterVerb Pro ($195 each). No conventionalcompressor algorithms were used during Vinco's development to bettermodel the sound of classic analog studio compressors, and the company'sCircuit-Modeling technique was employed for the same reason. MasterVerbPro sports an enhanced reverb processor over its predecessor plug-inMasterVerb. Thirty-two-bit live processing, unlimited reverb times andauthentic early reflections based on the source-image method were usedto create this high-quality reverb plug-in. Vinco and MasterVerb Proplug into the company's Luna, PowerSampler, Pulsar, Pulsar XTC andSCOPE SP platforms.
Also new from CreamWare is Minimax ($245), a complete softwareemulation of the venerable Moog Minimoog. Minimax was designed for a1:1 ratio in emulating the Minimoog's sonic characteristics. Being ableto create feedback by routing Minimax's second audio output into themixer section and other original minimoog tricks have also beenfaithfully reproduced. Platforms: PC, Mac, CreamWare.
The new Pluggo 3 ($199) was re-leased this May from Cycling'74 (www.cycling74.com). It now offers more than 100 effects andmore than 20 soft synthesizers. Created by programmers working in theMax/MSP environment or rolled on your own, each Pluggo plug-in makesgood use of the improved Max4/MSP2 language. New modules include ShapeSynth, a user-controlled waveshape synthesizer, and the company'sEssential Instruments collection, which was culled from the developerswho created the crafty iSynth. Essential Instruments include a widerange of additive, analog-modeled, granular, waveshaped, wavetabled andpercussion synth engines. Big Pluggo news for Digidesign users is RTASsupport. Platforms: MultiMac, RTAS, MAS, VST.
Digidesign (www.digidesign.com) released Reverb One TDM andannounced distribution of new plug-ins from Wave Mechanics(SoundBlender) and Access (Virus Indigo TDM). Reverb One TDM ($995) isa high-quality reverb with an intuitive early reflection andreverberation contour display that includes independent controls overlevel, decay time, attack, spread, size, diffusion and pre-delay, andit comes with an extensive cache of reverb presets. Separate dynamicsand chorus sections allow detailed shaping of reverb decay, and abuilt-in multiband EQ has adjustable crossover points. Platforms: Mac,PC, TDM, HTDM.
Access' Virus Indigo TDM ($795) puts the ferocious growl andupper-end punch of its namesake hardware synth in the hands of any ProTools|HD or MIX user. Check out the Access sound, with four oscillatorsper voice, 20 available voices, dual 6-pole filters and up to eightmultitimbral parts per DSP, and a 96kHz sampling rate. Platforms: Mac,PC, TDM, HTDM.
SoundBlender ($495) from Wave Mechanics brings the PitchBlender andTimeBlender plug-in suites together under one revved-up roof, with anextensive collection of time, pitch, filter and modulation effects. Theheart of the beast is Wave Mechanics' Tri-Modulation Matrix, a trio ofmodulation sources that can be mixed and routed to dozens of effectparameters. Platforms: Mac, PC, TDM, HTDM.
HQ-OR Orchestral ($199) from Edirol (www.edirol.com) is apotent new VST and DXi soft synth. Much like working within anystandard general MIDI module, Orchestral's individual screens to selectsounds, add chorus and visually pan instruments across a stereo panfield display leave little else for the user to do but play. Soundsfocus mainly on strings, woodwinds, brass, percussion and keyboards ina package that also includes Cakewalk's Music Creator 2002 software. Upto 16 parts and 128-voice polyphony are possible, and up to24-bit/96kHz compatibility is offered. There are also more than 350preset and user patches, 39 drum kits, high-quality 32-bitfloating-point processed reverb and chorus/delay, and real-time accessto many parameters via hardware control surfaces. Platforms: PC, Mac,VST, DXi.
Emagic (www.emagic.de) has been busy studying oldbeer-stained Hammond B3s and dusty Hohner Clavinet D6s lately to comeup with the new EVB3 (Emagic Vintage B3, $199) and EVD6 (Emagic VintageD6, $179) plug-ins, respectively. EVB3 uses the company'sComponent-Modeling technology to capture the original faithfully andthen some — all the way down to the way aging components and theresulting artifacts and key click variations affect a good B3's sound.EVD6 similarly goes this far to faithfully reproduce the Clavinet D6.Platforms: Mac, PC, TDM, HTDM/Mac.
Also new from Emagic is a full porting of every effect plug-in foundin Logic Platinum to the TDM platform in the form of EPIC TDM ($699),due out this fall. Plug-ins range from meat-and-potato dynamics towildly modulated special effects, and includes the new Spectral Gateand Enverb modules. Platforms: PC, Mac, TDM.
ZombiRATor? BubbleRATor? It really doesn't matter whatGenieSyS (www.genevoice.com) names its SchizoRAT Pack($47.95) of five DirectX plug-ins aimed at the sound designenvironment; they look and sound great. GenieSys has come up with itsown Fast Fourier Transform (FFT) algorithms that, when combined withthe Pack's user-designed break-point envelope control over eachplug-in's parameters, present an almost endless palette of animatedtimbres. BubbleRATor and ZombiRATor add vibrato only to selectedportions of a source waveform and momentarily "freeze"selected harmonic ranges. Other RATs allow designers to createnonlinear frequency shifts, add complex spectrums to individual tracks,create four-note polyphonic material from monophonic tracks and allowuser reshaping of pitch and melody. Platforms: MultiPC, Windows,DirectX.
Recently released as a $39 plug-in bundle, Space Synthesizer 1.1b,Space Effect 1.0 and FlexFx 1.0 from developer Mikael Hillborg(www.mhc.se/software) pack a lot of punch per buck.The $39 FlexFx family of CPU-conscious audio processors with built-inLFOs and host syncs includes five meat-and-potatoes effects, includingbasic delay, chorus and filter. Space Effect's synth architectureprovides sync, feedback and mix controls over left/right delay signals,as well as extensive control over resonance, filter, chorus andtone-sequencing parameters. Space Synthesizer, as the name implies,looks much like Space Effect, but it also offers an evolving waveformmodule onboard. Platforms: Instrument/MultiPC, VST.
Who needs 1,260 amp combinations and a wide array of stomp boxes andpost FX features all in one Pro Tools|HD and VST plug-in? You do. IKMultimedia's (www.ikmultimedia.com) AmpliTube ($399) turns bothplatforms into a sort of vintage amp and pedals heaven, complete withorange power-soak buttons and faux tubes glowing behind a convincinglyrendered amp grille. This plug-in sports separate pre, EQ, amp, cabinetand mic-emulation modules, and it models a large selection of vintageand modern amps, spring reverb, tremolo and stomp boxes. Platforms:Mac, PC, VST, Logic, RTAS.
Developed with mastering engineers and sound designers in mind,Groupe de Recherches Musicales de l'Institut National de l'Audiovisuel,aka INA-GRM (www.ina.fr), released its new GRM Tools ST(Spectral Transform) Bundle ($549; $249 per separate plug-in) as afour-module suite for the "Free through Pro Tools|HD Macfamily." ST Contrast uses novel compression and expansiontechniques to add subtle changes in "vibrancy, depth andliveliness" for mastering and archival audio restorationapplications and any extreme sound transformation uses. ST Equalize isa 31-band, ⅓-octave graphic EQ that features GRM's elastic stringfeature when mouse-manipulating curves with"sound-performance" applications, and ST Shift allows auser to perform two complementary sound-processing operations at atime. Finally, ST FreqWarp, a spectral component rearrangement plug-in,can best be described by one INA-GRM user's feedback from the company'ssite: "The most far out, radical, bizarre, powerful and effectivesound-transformation tools I've ever seen." Platforms:FX/Instruments, Mac, RTAS, VST.
Mackie's (www.mackie.com) UAD-1 ($995) is a PCI DSPcard/plug-in suite package that takes the heat off of a CPU by handlingall plug-in processing "offline." Developed by UniversalAudio, the UAD-1 software solution includes RealVerb Pro, 1176LN andTeletronix LA-2A Vintage Compressors, Nigel Guitar Processor and theCS-1 Channel Strip; the latter includes EQ, compression, delaymodulation and reflection reverb modules specific to the UAD-1platform. Universal's Version 2.2.6 software now also includes DigitalPerformer support. And Nigel not only looks like an interface Mr.Tufnel would love, it sounds as big as any Spinal Tap concert, with itsown mini-suite of preamp, speaker cabinet modeling, echo, tremolo,modulation filter, compressor/ gate and phaser plug-ins. Rock on!Platforms: MultiMac, PC, MAS, VST.
Also from Mackie are several new plug-ins for its D8B/UFX and newSoundscape DAW platforms. The Drawmer SDX100 ($399) is a new mixpanderplug-in designed for use as a channel dynamics package or mixdownprocessor; it allows users to control its components in groups orindividually. SpinAudio's SpinDelay ($89) is another Mixtreme plug-infor Soundscape that includes a handy tempo-based delay and tap delaycalculator that links taps by ratio. And, after releasing Acuma Labs'Final Mix Mastering Suite ($399) and its DSR-1 frequency-specificde-essing UFX plug-ins at Winter NAMM, there were two more for therecent Summer Session. Acuma's RTA-31 ($199) is a new graphic equalizerand spectrum analyzer for the D8B desktop, and the aptly namedSaturated Fat ($199) handles all sorts of distortion andcabinet-modeling chores like a short-order cook at a greasy spoon.Platforms: PC, Soundscape, D8B/UFX.
McDSP (www.mcdsp.com) is well-known for its Analog Channelplug-in when it comes to warming up a digital signal, so warming up tosome modeled oscillators, LFOs and ADSRs in the company's newSynthesizer One ($695) should come easily. The additive, subtractive,wavetable, FM- and AM-based modular Synthesizer One can processexternal audio and combine that with synthesized signals. And alloscillator, filter, LFO and envelope signals can be routed to multiplemodulation targets easily using a straightforward, logical interfacethat resembles McDSP's plug-in family line. Also newsworthy is thecompany's offering of free Pro Tools|HD updates for McDSP plug-ins thatnow include 44.1 to 192kHz support; see the company's Website fordetails. Platforms: Mac, TDM Mix/HD.
Not new but certainly worth mentioning is the recently announced ProTools|HD and VST plug-in format support for all Metric Halo (www.mhlabs.com)plug-ins, including SpectraFoo, SpectraFoo Complete andChannelStrip.
Take one spectral graph and an eight-operator FM engine, add abattery and one B3 emulation so real you can smell it, and what do youget? Four new Mac and PC virtual instruments from NativeInstruments (www.native-instruments.com). NI-Spektral Delay PTE($449) claims to be the first real-time, Fast Fourier Transform (FFT)plug-in effect. Kontakt ($399) and FM7 ($299) each support Mac and PCvia DirectConnect, VST, MAS or DXi, and can operate as stand-aloneinstrument applications. FM7 can actually read every sound library evercreated for the classic DX family of FM synths, and Kontakt is a softsampler that sports real-time time-stretching and resynthesis and anintegrated loop editor. Native also offers the Pro Tools Editions ofB4, Pro-52 and Battery for Mac HTDM/RTAS for $999 as the StudioCollection. Platforms: Mac, TDM/HTDM, RTAS (unless otherwisenoted).
To even try to sum up what the plug-ins from Ohm Force (www.ohmforce.com)are all about in 50 words would be futile. Users can get lost in thecompany's lush Goth- and comic-inspired Website for ages and still notknow exactly what each plug-in does. So, rather than attempt to explainVST and DirectX audio processing/mangling plug-ins like MobilOhm,HematOhm, FrOhmage, PredatOhm and OhmBoyz, we are pointing readers tothe site. You have been warned. Platforms: Mac, PC, BeOS, VST,DirectX.
Power Technology's (www.dspfx.com) DSP-FX Virtual Pack 6.5 ($149), astable line of DirectX plug-ins for PC audio processing that alsooperate as stand-alone devices, has recently added 96kHz support andfull optimization for Windows XP. Twelve bread-and-butter processortools are bundled together in a Virtual Pack, including thehigh-quality StudioVerb, Multi-Tap Delay, Analog Tape Flanger,Parametric EQ and Aural Activator. Platforms: MultiPC, DirectX.
New from PSP (Professional Sound Projects; www.pspaudioware.com) from Piaseczno, Poland, arefour audio processing plug-ins. Lexicon PSP 42 ($149) is a high-qualitydigital stereo delay and phrase-sampler plug-in based on the legendaryLexicon PCM 42 processor; it simulates vintage tape machine delays withPSP's own tape-saturation algorithm and variable sampling-ratemanipulation. VintageWarmer ($149) is a single- or multiband plug-inthat simulates many analog-style compressor/ limiters and comes with alarge library of device presets. VintageMeter (freeware) is aprofessional VU and PPM-metering plug-in. Another free gem from PSP isPianoVerb, which reproduces unique types of reverberation originallygenerated by piano strings. RTAS support for all PSP software plug-insis expected by the time this story prints.
Serato Audio Research's (www.serato.com) Scratch Studio Edition ($299) isexpected to be released before the end of the year, and for anyturntablist straddling the creative fence between vinyl and digitalaudio workstation, it couldn't come any sooner. DJs can display theirnew dub plate skills using a physical "virtual" vinyl LPthat connects via USB to scratch any digital sample or sound file. Theincluded vinyl record controller device contains a control signal thatallows the computer to track the record position and the motion anddirection of the needle, and to simulate the same movement within asound file. Scratch Live ($599; Mac/PC stand-alone) will include a USBinterface for dual turntables that allows turntablists to do"crateless DJ'ing" by transferring all vinyl to hard driveand controlling those .WAV, .AIFF and MP3 files with Scratch Live.Platforms: PC, Mac, RTAS, HTDM, MAS (unless otherwise noted).
Also expected soon from Serato is Pitch ($399), a multiplatform ProTools plug-in that uses intuitive MIDI controls to carry out real-timepolyphonic pitch changes. Expected to be announced as part of astand-alone bundle of Serato plug-ins, Pitch carries on in thetradition of the company's popular Pitch 'n Time software. Platforms:PC, Mac, RTAS, HTDM.
Steinberg Media Technologies (www.steinberg.net)offers eight new processors and instruments that emphasize on makingrecording guitarists feel right at home on the computer. VirtualGuitarist ($249.99) picks up where the Oberheim Strummer box left offlong ago in creating convincing strummed chords for acoustic andelectric guitar sounds. One look at the guitar face interface in eithermode should comfort even the most newbie of computer recordingguitarists. WARP VST ($299.99) does much of the same by putting aHughes & Kettner amp face on this potent guitar amp simulationplug-in. HALion ($399.99) is a new 32-bit VST sampler that streamsaudio direct from disk, includes a 1.6GB sound library, and can importAkai, E-mu, GigaSampler, Sound Font, .WAV and .AIFF sound files to anyVST environment. Similarly, The Grand ($299.99) provides 1.3 GB ofmultiple-velocity, layered, high-quality piano samples, and the new LM4Mark II VST drum machine ($149.99) provides an independent ADSRenvelope on each of its 16 pads. Finally, Voice Machine ($199.99) is areal-time "pitch-shifting" plug-in that can create fouradditional voices, each independently controllable, from a mono voicetrack. Attack ($149.99) from Waldorf provides meaty analog-synthpercussion sounds. GRM Tools Vol. 2 ($199.99) is the new VST version ofthis sound designer's dream package, which includes INA-GRM's Reson,Doppler, Freeze and Delay modules. Platforms: PC, Mac, VST.
TC Works (www.tcworks.de), Steinberg and a few others wereneck-and-neck for the most new plug-ins released this year. TCVoiceStrip 96K (included with TC PowerCore) is a VST- and MAS-basedvocal-processing tool that includes voice-optimized EQ, vintagecompression, gate, de-esser and SoftSat modules — and a pair ofVU-emulating meters. Assimilator for PowerCore ($249) is a potent"fingerprint EQ" plug-in due out later this year that cansample the EQ curve of one audio file and apply it to another, andmorph between two totally disparate sets of EQ curves. DeScratcher,DeClicker, DeClipper and DeNoiser will all be included with TCPowerCore Restoration Suite ($999) when it releases later this year.Native Bundle 3.0 ($399; $69 upgrade) has been spiffed up with addedparameters, improved sound and a new user interface. Master X3 forPowerCore ($249), also from TC Works, was recently announced;essentially, it is the company's Finalizer mastering processor but nowas a VST or MAS plug-in. And the new Waldorf D-Coder ($249) is aneasy-to-use, Mac- and Windows-savvy VST/MAS plug-in that puts 100 bandsof vocoded audio bliss at anyone's fingertips. Finally, TC Worksreleased Spark FX Machine ($199) earlier this year. Also amultiplatform VST/MAS performer, this bundle comes with 21 plug-ins,including numerous effects processors and synthesis tools. Platforms:Mac, PC, VST, MAS.
Last but not least are six new plug-ins from Waves (www.waves.com). Version3.5 Waves Native and TDM software now provide more simultaneousplug-ins, support of higher sample rates, and increased bit depth anddynamic range and support for TDM users of Control24, Pro Control andMackie HUI control surfaces.
Waves Masters Bundle ($1,800 TDM/ HD; $900 native) provides moretransparent mastering firepower with the company's L2 Ultramaximizer,Linear Phase Equalizer and Linear Phase Multiband plug-ins. The lattertwo use FIR filters for improved musical balance and independent gainand dynamics control on five bands with linear phase crossovers.Ultramaximizer carries on as "the next step in peaklimiting," with Automatic Gain Control, IDR dithering andninth-order filters. Another multiplatform performer is RestorationBundle ($1,300 native; $2,600 TDM) for restoration applications andnoise reduction. The intuitive graphics, audio difference and directaudio output feedback of Restoration Bundle can make better masteringengineers out of us all. Modules included in this bundle includeX-Noise, X-Click, X-Crackle and X-Hum. Platforms: Mac, PC, TDM, HTDM,VST, MAS, RTAS, Audio Suite DirectX.
The all-in-one Waves 360 Surround Tool Kit (price TBA) is a completesurround mixing and management tools bundle. The accelerated Version3.5 Waves system has 192- and 96kHz support for all Digidesign MIX andPro Tools|HD users, as well as enveloping spacialization andlocalization, among other benefits. Included are the S360 SurroundImager for adding distance panning and generating early reflections andshuffling for improved low-frequency spacialization, and the R360Surround Reverb for control of more than six channels of perfectlydecorrelated reverberation. The C360 Surround Compressor, M360 SurroundManager and M360 Surround Mixdown round out the package. Platforms:Mac, TDM.
Randy Alberts is the author of Tascam: 25 Years of RecordingEvolution. Visit him atwww.opendooredit.com.
Scratch, Trash, Freeze That Audio!


Pentax needs a big selection of long lenses!
If you want long lenses, you get the DA* 200, 300, 60-250, the DA 560, the Sigma 50-500, plus a bunch of other discontinued lenses and multiple offerings from Sigma and Tamron.
I hope the new 560mm is good!!


Icy Installer 3 is Developed by ArtikusHG and It is a DPKG-based package manager for iOS Operating System. its ability to load packages at lightning-fast speeds. It is very lightweight App if we compare to Cydia.
For the uninitiated, version 3 is a complete rewrite of the legacy Icy Package Installer for iPhone OS 2.0. It was originally developed by RiPDev.
WHICH VERSIONS DOES IT SUPPORT TO Install Icy Installer 3?


text:
Helopicus bogaloosa är en bäcksländeart som beskrevs av Bill P.Stark och Ray 1983. Helopicus bogaloosa ingår i släktet Helopicus och familjen rovbäcksländor. Inga underarter finns listade i Catalogue of Life.

Källor

Rovbäcksländor
bogaloosa

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


I've gained a lot from using crucial conversations skills in my life, but always as the initiator. What I feel less skilled at is being on the receiving end of criticism. My last relationship ended partly because my partner and I could not come to an agreement about my children. In that relationship, I always felt judged, defensive, and rebellious when my partner tried to talk to me about my kids and how their behavior was affecting them. I want to learn from my mistakes. Any advice on how to be a better at being the recipient of a crucial conversation?
Some years ago, I needed to have a crucial conversation with Ron McMillan, co-author of Crucial Conversations. I was young and inexperienced. I had a tough topic to address and was anxious about offending Ron. I was pretty sure I was going to bungle the conversation.
I remember sitting down in his office and blurting out, "I need to have a crucial conversation with you and I know I am going to mess it up, but I think your crucial conversations skills are good enough to cover both of us." And they were.
Ron, for me, was the perfect exemplar of how to receive a crucial conversation. I loved your question because it demonstrates tremendous insight. As the recipient of a crucial conversation, we can draw on the same foundational principles that we use when initiating a conversation, but we apply them with a slight twist. Here is what I have learned, from Ron and others, about receiving a crucial conversation.
1. Don't expect the other person to crucially converse perfectly. For those of us who know and practice crucial conversations skills, it can be tempting to unconsciously expect everyone to start their crucial conversations by building safety and sharing facts. We are trying hard to hear their tough message and think that the least they can do is state it well. So, when that other person slips up and says something rude, hurtful, or disrespectful, we tell ourselves a story: this person is being rude, hurtful and disrespectful. While logical, that story doesn't help us in the moment. Instead, it creates a feeling of defensiveness.
Consider how you might react to someone saying something rude, hurtful, and disrespectful if your story was: "Wow! This person has a tough message to share and she really has no idea how to do that well. She could use some training." When we stop expecting people to share their meaning perfectly, we see their poorly delivered messages as a lack of skill rather than poor intent. This reduces our defensiveness because suddenly it's not about me anymore, but about them.
2. Take time to prepare and time to respond. For many of us, it is easier to initiate a crucial conversation because we've had time to prepare for it. We've thought through not only what we want to say, but why we are saying it (our intent), and how we will say it (so as to demonstrate our good intent). When someone initiates a conversation with us, we don't have the benefit of time. Unless, that is, we ask for it.
However, it can be tough sometimes to call a time-out in a way that works for both you and the other person. After all, the other person has likely been stewing on this topic for a while and has finally gotten up the courage to talk to you about it. To him, it may feel like now or never. He has a message and he wants to deliver it. Now. How do you call a time out when the other person doesn't want to take one? The key to doing this is to differentiate between listening and thinking versus listening and talking. You may not be able to take a time out on listening but you can take a time out on responding. Here is how that might sound: "I can tell this is really important to you and I want to hear what you have to say. I also really want to think about it before I respond, to make sure I have taken the time to consider everything you are saying. So, I'd like to listen carefully to what you have to say and then schedule a time for tomorrow when I can come back with my thoughts." It is the rare person who will demand that your response must be now or never.
You can also reduce your defensiveness by getting clear on what your intent is, regardless of the other person's intent. Why do you want to listen to this message? What is your goal in the crucial conversation?
A couple years back, Joseph Grenny sent me an email saying that he had heard from a mutual friend about some things I was struggling with. He said that he had some recent insights he thought might help and asked if I would be open to some feedback. Now, Joseph and I have worked together a long time and I know that he loves me. And still, reading his message, I felt vulnerable. I went to this "feedback" lunch with Joseph chanting in my head: feedback is a gift, feedback is a gift. I told myself that whatever he said, I wanted to take it and use it to become better. Luckily for me, Joseph is every bit as skilled at crucial conversations as Ron McMillan. While the conversation wasn't always comfortable, it was incredibly helpful.
I have had other conversations with people far less skilled who nonetheless had important feedback to give me. My goal in these conversations is always the same: regardless of how they share their message, I am looking for what is true in that message, and what I can use from their message to improve. That is my intent in hearing them and it creates tremendous safety for me.
Being the recipient of a crucial conversation is not easy and not comfortable. We are vulnerable and unprepared most of the time. But if we are sure of our intent, to listen to others and understand their perspective, and if we claim for ourselves the time we need to process their message, we can hear what others have to say.
Awesome insight and such a welcome and needed perspective.
Thank you for sharing your story! Hit some many key points and how is it that I am looking forward to someone having a crucial conversation with me so I can apply it.
Great article Emily. I would like to emphasize that a listener needs to be open to feedback to avoid feeling defensive. It helps to "look for the truth" in their message and let go of the hyperbole or tone. Another trick is to pretend you are talking about a third person. This helps to be objective and really works.
I love the idea of creating safety for myself by looking for what is true in the other person's message. It's tempting to look for what's not true in their message, which puts me on the defense. Thanks for the empowering reminder that it doesn't have to be that way, Emily!
Thank you for sharing this insightful dialogue!
Great article that resonated in me on taking a time out when the conflict or conversation is becoming repetitive.