Children's bedrooms often prove to be a difficult area to furnish – as you really want to produce a functional area to control all of their personal things, in an organised yet trendy way.
Look no further than the skilfully created Sharps Cabin Bed, which enables you to effortlessly make best use of the storage potential in a child's room in style.
The Cabin Bed creates lots more storage room for your child's clothing, toys and memorabilia, in cupboards, drawers or open shelving, beneath a single bed structure; featured here with a bed bridge (optional), which is just perfect for storing bulky things such as duvets.
Ercol has introduced classic new bedroom furniture collections that are sure to give a stylish influence to any bedroom.
Chiltern Bow Collection This new collection motivated by an original 1950's design merges functionality and fashionable design. The lattice back characteristics combined with the pale oak on the bed present a real feature. Lots of storage room is provided in the chest of drawers and wardrobe, while the rounded legs continue to the top of the cabinets, giving fine curved edges. The collection is crafted in Oak solid and veneers and is finished in a transparent matt lacquer, to allow the beautiful natural grain to show through. Chiltern Bow is available now, exclusively from John Lewis. Priced from £225.
Japanese design was the inspiration for the Sama Bed, which has been created to be the bedroom's focal point.
Introduciing the new Willesley fitted wardrobe collection from Hammonds, offering a glamorous Hollywood style finish with an array of brilliant storage solutions.
The Willesley spacious wardrobe interiors enable you to conveniently store all of your clothing attire and shoes, beautifully concealed behind the stylish mirrored doors, which tend to create an airy and light bedroom. The iron finished handles add a classic touch to the design. Upon opening the wardrobes you will find LED lights thoughtfully fitted to the rails, so that no article of clothing can ever be lost in this exclusive and wonderful wardrobe. The Willesley dressing table is just perfect for any glamour puss to apply her makeup, as well as providing ideal storage for any bottles, jars, or jewellery collections. Willesley is offered in six colours, to cater for all tastes, making the range one of Hammonds' most resourceful and chic collections ever.
If the brisk white finish isn't for you, there is also a choice of Avola White or Odessa Oak finish, so that you can create your own bedroom style.
Personalisation of the home has proved to be very popular recently, as homeowners try to discover ways to put their individual stamp onto their home, rather than move house.
One of the really personal rooms in the home is the bedroom where the whole decor, from furniture choice, mirrors, colour scheme and fabric reflects our personality.
Now the ground-breaking YouCreate from Sharps echos this increasing trend, as it enables homeowners to create a bedroom entirely personal to them, whilst adding a surprising focal point.
Sharps' Innovative New Contemporary Bed Bridge.
An inspired bed bridge solution for making best use of the storage space in the bedroom, especially where available space is limited, has been introduced by Sharps bedrooms, with an eye-catching streamlined design.
The French Furniture Company has introduced the new Louis Philippe range. Taking its influences from the Louis the 14th and 15th periods, this glorious collection features a fine mix of Rococo and Baroque design with extraordinary intricate carving and floral detail.
The Louis Philippe collection was designed around the gorgeous bed and includes a magnificent chest of drawers, an armoire, bedside tables, dressing table, flooring standing mirror, bedroom chair and a stool.
Beta Living the UK fitted bedroom specialists, are excited about the launch of their striking new range of sliding wardrobe door systems this year.
There's a great choice of doors to suit any interior decoration – including the latest on-trend 'brights' and wood effects, and doors can be custom-made to fit even the most awkward of spaces.
Sliding wardrobe doors offer a space-maximising option, when twinned with a bespoke wardrobe interior and it looks amazing too.
The magnificent new 'Charleston Collection' of beds and furniture, designed by Nina Campbell exclusively for And So To Bed, is launching in their King's Road flagship store this October.
Nina marries mirror glass, silver lacquered wood and rich dark timbers, inspired by the dazzling zeitgeist of the 1930's, to create a sophisticated architectural feel; upholstered elements give the final stamp of luxury to a collection, which oozes glamour.
The centrepiece of the collection is the 'Maud' bed (from £4,325), (in our picture,) upholstered and dressed with Nina Campbell's own fabrics.


Studio-2 bed, 1-2 bath • 980 sq. ft.
A Serene Setting in a Convenient Location!
Media Station Apartments offers spacious, studio, one, and two bedroom apartments in a beautiful setting. This 3-story garden style apartment complex is tucked away high on the side of a hill in a quiet woodsy, residential area, overlooking the beautiful Ridley Creek Valley. We are conveniently located within walking distance to great shopping, fine dining, and entertainment within the Borough of Media. The Media Station SEPTA rail is also within close walking distance, providing easy access to the city of Philadelphia.


I love the fact that my son has a day planner. He used to make fun of me for writing in mine.
And there he goes, writing when rent is due, when his credit card bill is due, when assignments are due, when his dentist appointment is. Sighing with exasperation when schedules change and he has to erase or cross out. It makes me think of us as the two peas in a pod we used to be.


text:
Ahmed Hossain (1896–1961), minister for agriculture, forest and fisheries department in Huseyn Shaheed Suhrawardy's cabinet 1946/47, chairman of Rangpur District Board (Undivided Bengal), minister for agriculture in East Pakistan in Abu Hossain Sarkar's cabinet 1955–56. Represented his Shagata and Fulchari constituency, of Gaibandha District as MLA and MP from 1937 to 1958.

Early life
Ahmed Hossain was born in Jalaltair village, Mahimaganj, Rangpur district on 7 March 1896. Hossain passed his matriculation examination from Sonatola High School and obtained a law degree from the Aligarh Muslim University.

Independence movement
Hossain joined the All India Congress Party and was fully committed to Mahatma Gandhi's non-cooperation movement (1920), canvassing support for the Congress Agenda all over north Bengal, particularly in the Rangpur district. When the Muslim League was formed, he joined it and contested the 1937 general election as a Muslim League candidate and became an elected member of the Bengal Legislative Assembly.
 He ran in the Indian general election of 1946 as a Muslim League candidate and became a member of the Bengal Legislative Assembly. He was given the ministerial post for the Agriculture, Forest and Fisheries department under the Chief Minister-ship of Huseyn Shaheed Suhrawardy. In 1947 Bengal was partitioned in the partition of Bengal along religious lines. The Muslim majority East Bengal joined with Pakistan. Khawaja Nazimuddin and Nurul Amin formed a Muslim government in Dhaka, East Pakistan. Hossain remained a Muslim League MLA.

During the 1952 language movement Hossain resigned from the Muslim League and joined the newly formed United Front Party led by Fazlul Huq, Maulana Bhashani and Hueyn Shaheed Suhrawardy. In 1954, Hossain was elected to the East Pakistan national assembly as a United Front Member.

Hossain was a philanthropist and interested in promoting Muslim education in Rangpur. He established an Alia Madrasa at Mahimaganj in 1939, which was particularly significant as at the time there were only three other Alia madras in the whole of undivided Bengal. A newly built student hall, the "Ahmed Hossain Student Hall" has been dedicated in his honour. Hossain was also responsible for building a high school and a mosque in Mahimaganj in 1939 and 1945 respectively. In 1950 Hossain introduced laws against catching fish eggs, small and spawning fish to provide for the conservation and development of propagation of fish stock. Hossain continued to represent his constituency as an MP until Ayub Khan declared Martial Law in Pakistan in 1958.

Death
Hossain died at the age of 65 on Friday 19 May 1961.

References

All India Muslim League members
Bengali politicians
Pakistani politicians
People from Rangpur District
Aligarh Muslim University alumni
1896 births
1961 deaths
Indian National Congress politicians

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


We recently had an episode dedicated to a design dilemma Mikelle was facing with a client. So we decided to make this into a series all about one big problem each of us is facing in our business. In this episode, it's Wes' turn.
We always advocate asking clients for samples of designs they like, so you can properly gauge their taste, and what they will respond to. However, Wes recently began seeing a trend emerge with his logo design clients: they were always picking out "clever," literal logos for inspiration, even when their company name or industry did not lend itself to that sort of treatment.
Rather than dwelling on the problem, the gang talks about how to better arm yourself against this sort of thing, so that you and your clients can get started on the right track, instead of chasing false leads. You will learn how to properly ask for example logos, and we also discuss the possibility of not asking for examples at all. There are multiple opinions voiced in this episode, so you can listen and see what makes the most sense for you.
After that, we answer two new listener questions about taking days off, and whether or not After Effects is worth learning.
Another good episode all. I do recognize and understand that clients can at times steer their own project off into waters they are best not entering visually. I've also learned and believe that gathering a client's broad taste for logos is important, even if (and often recommended that) they bring back logos they love from other industries. I think it encourages us as designers to think and study outside the box.
Yes, once all the information and reference material is gathered, it is our job as design experts to see what elements from outside the box can be gleaned and applied to their brand and their own specific industry "visual rules".
One thing I misunderstood, it seemed there was much talk about reference logos being brought to the table that were layered on images/photographs, mock-up style, found by the client via pinterest or other internet searching… I got the impression the table felt this was a bad practice? I think revealing the logo to the client in the standard black/white background and also layered on top of various images is a good practice.
It's a great conversation you had on the show today. One that I believe will spark strong opinions among designers. Keep up the great work.
Hey Simeon, thanks for the support! As far as layering alogo on top of a background goes, I actually don't think it's bad practice (you will see that I do it on a lot of my logos right here on my portfolio site.) In some cases, it can really make the logo pop that much more, and when trying to entice future clients, you definitely want your work to pop.
The only problem is when clients point to those as examples of logos they really like, not always understanding that the background is not actually a part of the logo itself. When I show logo concepts to my clients, I always present them on a pure white background, because I do believe that ultimately, a logo has to be able to stand on its own. If you or your client then choose to "dress it up" further by adding a background image to it, then that could work as well, depending on how appropriate it is.
The challenge it is not what you like or they like it's what conveys the message that they want to convey to their target audience.


Welcome to KIM'S GOLD DUST Ladies Corvette Ring Catalog page. We offer a variety of fine ladies Corvette rings in 14k gold, sterling silver and stainless steel. Our jewelry is designed and crafted at state-of-the-art facilities where modern technology and old world craftsmanship are brought together to provide the highest quality product.
Ladies C7 Corvette emblem ring is enameled (red, black and yellow are hand painted). Made in 14k gold. Ring is available in half sizes. Matching mans ring also available.
Ladies C7 Corvette enameled (red, black and yellow are hand painted) emblem ring. Made in sterling silver. Matching mans ring also available.
C7 Corvette Stingray wrap ring in high polish finish. Made in 14k gold. There is a matching pendant and a few choices of earrings to choose from.
Please specify size below. If a different size is required or if you would like to upgrade with a diamond or gemstone, please contact us.
C7 Corvette Stingray wrap ring in high polished finish. Made in sterling silver. Matching pendant and a few choices of earrings are available.
Ladies C7 Stingray Oval Signet Ring with brushed top and polished sides. Made in 14k gold. Makes a nice pinky ring but looks great on other fingers too. This item has been discontinued and limited sizes are available. You cannot go wrong with the Stingray signet ring.
Please choose size below. Sizes 4.5, 5.5 and 6 ONLY.
Ladies C7 Signet Emblem diamond ring. Diamonds are approximate .05 CTW. This C7 signet ring is made in 14k gold.
Ladies C7 Signet emblem diamond ring. Diamonds are approximate .05 CTW. Made in sterling silver.


Who's a Good Boy? is a must-read for dog lovers, for fans of bad boys who love their small town princesses, for second chances, for secret babies and for a well-deserved HEA.
That's everything for now, I think. So, over to you my FAVORITE reader 🙂 Looking forward to this? Think the small town princess will end up with her bad boy next door?


Having read all this I am drawing one conclusion.I will get rid of many HB tenants as possible and replace them with working Polish.They are less trouble and I always seem to get my money.UC is not in North Somerset yet so I will take evasive action.
At present I am hoping my HB tenants go through natural wastage rather than resorting to the eviction process but we will see.
You would be making a pragmatic business decision in light of the current prevailing circumstances which seem unlikely to change any time soon.
You are essentially being forced into making such a decision through no fault of your own.
Most people will do what they can to protect themselves if they don't have the luxury of not worrying how to put food on the table.
You must do what you must do and if others suffer because of your decisions that is just tough!
You are just as much a victim of the system.
I also believe as you seem to suggest is the case and that is that very few migrants have a sense of entitlement which is something that your average HB tenant wears like a badge of merit!!
Welfare was intended to be a handup NOT a handout!
Unfortunately welfare pays sufficiently well to maintain a lifestyle.
There is simply no motivational requirement to come off welfare, not assisted by the appallingly low level of wages.
You I believe have made a very sound business judgement to get rid of the feckless HB tenant and let to those who are motivated to work and wouldn't dream of knocking their LL.
It simply just doesn't even occur to them!.
Unfortunately this is not how your average HB tenant thinks which I believe you have correctly realised!
Please let us know if/when the complaints are successful, & be good to name & shame DWP.
Will they eat humble pie though?
History, late 80's all DWP in Bed & Breakfast at thousands per week cause wouldn't pay Landlord. Paid Landlord, we bought houses, solved the problem.
2008 LHA came in. Councils were 100% strict in paying tenant. They now know tenant been spending money & getting drugs habits that wasn't there before, now they'd got £1000 FREE 2 months rent money. Now, we or tenant just ask (most) councils, tenant ain't good with money, please pay Landlord, there's not even a fight from Council.
And now UC wish to go back to 1980's? Gees, learn from history. We Landlords know these people better than anyone.
What is laughable, the Council are the Govt as such, they should be not having wasted money. So the Govt pay the tenant in the hope that the Govt Council get it back in rent, & they don't. So the Govt are just handing out FREE money, even though they need it back for rent. Nuts in't it.
As we all know, just ruddy pay the Landlord the rent money due, massive saving to everyone involved. And ooh time for u & me Jonathan, so we don't have to increase our workload as we get older.


Is it Healthy to be Obsessed with the stuff?
Must have something to do with the Pareto principle "80% of your profits come from 20% of the time you spend". The Pareto principle can be applied to optimization efforts. For example, Microsoft noted that by fixing the top 20% of the most reported bugs, 80% of the errors and crashes would be eliminated.
Do you think you could apply the 80-20 rule in trading, ie, trade less or effortlessly while winning more?
That is the simplistic way of saying it yes, but I find I am more profitable when I trade less.
Trading is the perfect "systems" based business that Dan is such a fan of. Because once you have a system, you can scale up. And scaling up is the holy grail of all businesses. Thankfully, in our business, we do not have to add people, infrastructure and further expenses to scale up. We just add contracts and presto, a scaled up systems based business.
futures io > Futures Trading, News, Charts and Platforms > Psychology and Money Management > Is it Healthy to be Obsessed with the stuff?


text:
Issues: terrorism
Trump Tramples Facts
Real estate developer Donald Trump's speech announcing he is running for the Republican nomination for president contained a number of false and misleading statements.
Cruz Cherry-picks Terrorism Comments
Sen. Ted Cruz has criticized President Obama and the White House for not mentioning how religious discrimination fueled terrorist attacks in Paris and Libya this year. But to make his point, Cruz focuses on certain remarks and ignores others.
Paul Wrong on Texas Shooters
Sen. Rand Paul said the attack in Garland, Texas, was "an example of how we do need to secure our border," but neither of the attackers crossed the southern border to gain access to the U.S. Both were Americans.
Saudi Arabia and the 9/11 Terrorist Attacks
Zacarias Moussaoui, a convicted 9/11 co-conspirator, says members of Saudi Arabia's royal family helped finance al Qaeda prior to the 2001 terrorist attacks. The Saudi government says that "there's no evidence to support Moussaoui's claim." Who's right?
FactChecking the GOP Responses
There were multiple official and unofficial Republican responses to President Obama's State of the Union address, but only a few instances of the president's critics stretching the facts.
Detaining and Interrogating Terror Suspects
Sen. Lindsey Graham went too far with his claim that the Obama administration has a policy of "not interrogating or detaining terrorist suspects anymore."
Is Cuba a 'Leading' Sponsor of Terrorism?
Sen. Ted Cruz condemned President Obama's announcement that he would normalize relations with Cuba, calling the communist country "a leading state sponsor of terrorism." That's a stretch, to say the least.
Cotton's Porous Border Story
Rep. Tom Cotton distorted the facts of a 2011 failed terrorist plot to make his case that the U.S. border with Mexico is "open" and "defenseless."
Crossroads Skips Context in Colorado
The conservative group Crossroads GPS attacks Colorado Sen. Mark Udall for saying the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant isn't an "imminent threat" to the United States. The ad leaves off the rest of the senator's remarks and then cites a news article that actually supports what Udall said.
Perdue Distorts Nunn Campaign Memo
Republican David Perdue says in a TV ad that Michelle Nunn, his opponent in the Georgia Senate race, "admits she's too liberal" and that "her foundation gave money to organizations linked to terrorists." Not exactly.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2
Chi Ming Che, Wai Tong Tang, Wing Tak Wong, Ting Fong Lai
Reaction of K2[RuCl5(H2O)] with L (l, 12-dimethyl-3, 4:9, 10-dibenzo-1, 12-diaza-5, 8-dioxacyclopentadecane) in refluxing ethanol yielded trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]2+, isolated as chloride salt. Treatment of trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]+with Ag+in water led to the formation of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, which could be oxidized to trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuVi(L)(O)2]2+by electrochemical and Ce(IV) oxidation, respectively. Magnetic susceptibility measurements on the perchlorate salts of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+, and trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+showed that their μeffvalues are 1.86, 2.87, and 0 μb, respectively, in accordance to their electronic formulation [Ru(III), (dxy,)2(dxz+ dyz)2(dxz- dyz)1; Ru(IV), (dxy)2(dxz)1(dyz)1; Ru(VI), (dxy)2]. The Ru=O stretching frequencies for the Ru(IV) and Ru(VI) complexes are 845 and 865 cm−1. The X-ray crystal structure of trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)][ClO4]2.2H2O has been determined: C21H34-N2Cl2O14Ru;Mr710.47; triclinic, space group P1*; a = 11.157 (5), b = 11.697 (3), c = 12.598 (2) Å; α = 74.05 (1), β = 61.55 (2), γ = 71.33 (2)°; V 1354.7 Å3; Z = 2;dcalcd= 1.742, dmeasd= 1.72 g cm−3; μ(MoKα) = 8.4 cm−1. The coordinated oxo and aquo groups are trans to each other. The measured Ru=0 distance of 1.739 (2) Å is the shortest one ever reported for oxoruthenium(IV) complexes. The intermolecular separation of two Ru=0 moieties is 2.8 Å, which features significant nonbonded [Ru═O…O═Ru] interaction. At pH = 1.1, the E1/2values for the trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+/trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+/trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+couples are, respectively, 0.92 and 0.58 V vs SCE. Thus, trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is a powerful oxidant and is 0.26 V more oxidizing than trans-[RuVI(TMC)(O)2]2+(TMC = 1, 4, 8, 11-tetramethyl-1, 4, 8, 11-tetraazacyclotetradecane). trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is capable of oxidizing a wide variety of organic substrates, including alcohols, olefins, aromatic hydrocarbons, and adamantane under mild conditions. Electrocatalytic oxidation of benzyl alcohol and oxidation of organic substrates with PhlO are achieved with the [RuIII(L)(OH)(H2P)]2+or [RuIV-(L)(O)(H2O)]2+complex as catalyst.
Che, C. M., Tang, W. T., Wong, W. T., & Lai, T. F. (1989). Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2. Journal of the American Chemical Society, 111(25), 9048-9056. https://doi.org/10.1021/ja00207a010
Che, Chi Ming ; Tang, Wai Tong ; Wong, Wing Tak ; Lai, Ting Fong. / Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2. In: Journal of the American Chemical Society. 1989 ; Vol. 111, No. 25. pp. 9048-9056.
@article{fbd5bbd5e35b49a78bdbbc7a5edc346f,
title = "Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2",
abstract = "Reaction of K2[RuCl5(H2O)] with L (l, 12-dimethyl-3, 4:9, 10-dibenzo-1, 12-diaza-5, 8-dioxacyclopentadecane) in refluxing ethanol yielded trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]2+, isolated as chloride salt. Treatment of trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]+with Ag+in water led to the formation of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, which could be oxidized to trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuVi(L)(O)2]2+by electrochemical and Ce(IV) oxidation, respectively. Magnetic susceptibility measurements on the perchlorate salts of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+, and trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+showed that their μeffvalues are 1.86, 2.87, and 0 μb, respectively, in accordance to their electronic formulation [Ru(III), (dxy,)2(dxz+ dyz)2(dxz- dyz)1; Ru(IV), (dxy)2(dxz)1(dyz)1; Ru(VI), (dxy)2]. The Ru=O stretching frequencies for the Ru(IV) and Ru(VI) complexes are 845 and 865 cm−1. The X-ray crystal structure of trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)][ClO4]2.2H2O has been determined: C21H34-N2Cl2O14Ru;Mr710.47; triclinic, space group P1*; a = 11.157 (5), b = 11.697 (3), c = 12.598 (2) {\AA}; α = 74.05 (1), β = 61.55 (2), γ = 71.33 (2)°; V 1354.7 {\AA}3; Z = 2;dcalcd= 1.742, dmeasd= 1.72 g cm−3; μ(MoKα) = 8.4 cm−1. The coordinated oxo and aquo groups are trans to each other. The measured Ru=0 distance of 1.739 (2) {\AA} is the shortest one ever reported for oxoruthenium(IV) complexes. The intermolecular separation of two Ru=0 moieties is 2.8 {\AA}, which features significant nonbonded [Ru═O…O═Ru] interaction. At pH = 1.1, the E1/2values for the trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+/trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+/trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+couples are, respectively, 0.92 and 0.58 V vs SCE. Thus, trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is a powerful oxidant and is 0.26 V more oxidizing than trans-[RuVI(TMC)(O)2]2+(TMC = 1, 4, 8, 11-tetramethyl-1, 4, 8, 11-tetraazacyclotetradecane). trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is capable of oxidizing a wide variety of organic substrates, including alcohols, olefins, aromatic hydrocarbons, and adamantane under mild conditions. Electrocatalytic oxidation of benzyl alcohol and oxidation of organic substrates with PhlO are achieved with the [RuIII(L)(OH)(H2P)]2+or [RuIV-(L)(O)(H2O)]2+complex as catalyst.",
author = "Che, {Chi Ming} and Tang, {Wai Tong} and Wong, {Wing Tak} and Lai, {Ting Fong}",
Che, CM, Tang, WT, Wong, WT & Lai, TF 1989, 'Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2', Journal of the American Chemical Society, vol. 111, no. 25, pp. 9048-9056. https://doi.org/10.1021/ja00207a010
Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2. / Che, Chi Ming; Tang, Wai Tong; Wong, Wing Tak; Lai, Ting Fong.
In: Journal of the American Chemical Society, Vol. 111, No. 25, 01.01.1989, p. 9048-9056.
T1 - Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2
AU - Che, Chi Ming
AU - Tang, Wai Tong
AU - Wong, Wing Tak
AU - Lai, Ting Fong
N2 - Reaction of K2[RuCl5(H2O)] with L (l, 12-dimethyl-3, 4:9, 10-dibenzo-1, 12-diaza-5, 8-dioxacyclopentadecane) in refluxing ethanol yielded trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]2+, isolated as chloride salt. Treatment of trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]+with Ag+in water led to the formation of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, which could be oxidized to trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuVi(L)(O)2]2+by electrochemical and Ce(IV) oxidation, respectively. Magnetic susceptibility measurements on the perchlorate salts of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+, and trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+showed that their μeffvalues are 1.86, 2.87, and 0 μb, respectively, in accordance to their electronic formulation [Ru(III), (dxy,)2(dxz+ dyz)2(dxz- dyz)1; Ru(IV), (dxy)2(dxz)1(dyz)1; Ru(VI), (dxy)2]. The Ru=O stretching frequencies for the Ru(IV) and Ru(VI) complexes are 845 and 865 cm−1. The X-ray crystal structure of trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)][ClO4]2.2H2O has been determined: C21H34-N2Cl2O14Ru;Mr710.47; triclinic, space group P1*; a = 11.157 (5), b = 11.697 (3), c = 12.598 (2) Å; α = 74.05 (1), β = 61.55 (2), γ = 71.33 (2)°; V 1354.7 Å3; Z = 2;dcalcd= 1.742, dmeasd= 1.72 g cm−3; μ(MoKα) = 8.4 cm−1. The coordinated oxo and aquo groups are trans to each other. The measured Ru=0 distance of 1.739 (2) Å is the shortest one ever reported for oxoruthenium(IV) complexes. The intermolecular separation of two Ru=0 moieties is 2.8 Å, which features significant nonbonded [Ru═O…O═Ru] interaction. At pH = 1.1, the E1/2values for the trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+/trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+/trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+couples are, respectively, 0.92 and 0.58 V vs SCE. Thus, trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is a powerful oxidant and is 0.26 V more oxidizing than trans-[RuVI(TMC)(O)2]2+(TMC = 1, 4, 8, 11-tetramethyl-1, 4, 8, 11-tetraazacyclotetradecane). trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is capable of oxidizing a wide variety of organic substrates, including alcohols, olefins, aromatic hydrocarbons, and adamantane under mild conditions. Electrocatalytic oxidation of benzyl alcohol and oxidation of organic substrates with PhlO are achieved with the [RuIII(L)(OH)(H2P)]2+or [RuIV-(L)(O)(H2O)]2+complex as catalyst.
AB - Reaction of K2[RuCl5(H2O)] with L (l, 12-dimethyl-3, 4:9, 10-dibenzo-1, 12-diaza-5, 8-dioxacyclopentadecane) in refluxing ethanol yielded trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]2+, isolated as chloride salt. Treatment of trans-[RuIII(L)Cl2]+with Ag+in water led to the formation of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, which could be oxidized to trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuVi(L)(O)2]2+by electrochemical and Ce(IV) oxidation, respectively. Magnetic susceptibility measurements on the perchlorate salts of trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+, trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+, and trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+showed that their μeffvalues are 1.86, 2.87, and 0 μb, respectively, in accordance to their electronic formulation [Ru(III), (dxy,)2(dxz+ dyz)2(dxz- dyz)1; Ru(IV), (dxy)2(dxz)1(dyz)1; Ru(VI), (dxy)2]. The Ru=O stretching frequencies for the Ru(IV) and Ru(VI) complexes are 845 and 865 cm−1. The X-ray crystal structure of trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)][ClO4]2.2H2O has been determined: C21H34-N2Cl2O14Ru;Mr710.47; triclinic, space group P1*; a = 11.157 (5), b = 11.697 (3), c = 12.598 (2) Å; α = 74.05 (1), β = 61.55 (2), γ = 71.33 (2)°; V 1354.7 Å3; Z = 2;dcalcd= 1.742, dmeasd= 1.72 g cm−3; μ(MoKα) = 8.4 cm−1. The coordinated oxo and aquo groups are trans to each other. The measured Ru=0 distance of 1.739 (2) Å is the shortest one ever reported for oxoruthenium(IV) complexes. The intermolecular separation of two Ru=0 moieties is 2.8 Å, which features significant nonbonded [Ru═O…O═Ru] interaction. At pH = 1.1, the E1/2values for the trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+/trans-[RuIV(L)(O)(H2O)]2+and trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)]2+/trans-[RuIII(L)(OH)(H2O)]2+couples are, respectively, 0.92 and 0.58 V vs SCE. Thus, trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is a powerful oxidant and is 0.26 V more oxidizing than trans-[RuVI(TMC)(O)2]2+(TMC = 1, 4, 8, 11-tetramethyl-1, 4, 8, 11-tetraazacyclotetradecane). trans-[RuVI(L)(O)2]2+is capable of oxidizing a wide variety of organic substrates, including alcohols, olefins, aromatic hydrocarbons, and adamantane under mild conditions. Electrocatalytic oxidation of benzyl alcohol and oxidation of organic substrates with PhlO are achieved with the [RuIII(L)(OH)(H2P)]2+or [RuIV-(L)(O)(H2O)]2+complex as catalyst.
Che CM, Tang WT, Wong WT, Lai TF. Novel Ruthenium—Oxo Complexes of Saturated Macrocycles with Nitrogen and Oxygen Donors and X-ray Crystal Structure of trans-[RuIV(L)O(H2O)][ClO4]2. Journal of the American Chemical Society. 1989 Jan 1;111(25):9048-9056. https://doi.org/10.1021/ja00207a010


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Dorkbot:58 Robots
April 7, 2010 - 7:00pm - 10:00pm
University of Washington, Seattle campus, Art Building, Room 327
http://www.washington.edu/maps/?l=ART
Chelan Lane & Stevens Way NE
Seattle, WA, 98105
Speakers will be:
Kevin Reed: Washington State director for FIRST Lego League, an international program that uses the LEGO Mindstorms robotic system to inspire 9-14 yr old students to consider careers in science and technology. Kevin also serves on the board of <FIRST Washington which provides FIRST robotics programs to thousands of Washington students from 6 to 18 years old. In his spare time away from FIRST Kevin is the Vice President of Operations at a manufacturing company in Woodinville Washington.
Sarah Kriz: Assistant professor in the Department of Human Centered Design & Engineering at the University of Washington. She earned her PhD in psychology from University of California, Santa Barbara in 2006. Her research on robotics focuses on the general public's understanding of robots' capabilities, and has included work on how robots are represented in popular American films, as well as how people structure their speech during their first interaction with a robot.
Steve Kaehler: a contributor and organizer of the Seattle Robotics Society for 12 years. This includes involvement in the yearly Robothon event, which pits many makers of robots against each other in several event. He has built robots and is a leader in this field.
Please join us for the evening, which is open and free to all, our first in the new decade.
We wish to give huge thanks to the UW's Division of Design, in the School of Art, for their support and providing the space for our meetings. We are especially grateful to department chair Professor Karen Cheng for this generous offer and facilitating it.
The Art Building is on the main UW campus. Parking is available in campus lots for $6, or you can usually find metered spaces on nearby streets in the University district. Lots of buses stop quite close, and there are bike racks outside the Art Building. Be aware that there is no cafe open in the Art Building in the evening. The closest place to eat, on campus, is the food court at the HUB student union building. Eat first, or bring a brown bag, but sorry, no alcohol is allowed in the meeting room. There are also plenty of places to eat on University Avenue, just off campus.
Here is a campus map showing the Art Building:
http://www.washington.edu/maps/?l=ART. There will be signs and maybe even live human beings at each entrance directing you to the room, which is on the third floor.


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Vanguard Tactics Terrain, Reviewed
By Greg Chiasson
For this review, we built several each of the Necrotek, Gothic, and the Military Base. Other than the Gothic, which only comes in one, they come in a few different colors, but the parts and structure are the same. 4Ground cut us a deal on these when we bought 50 sets of them for various Goonhammers Open, but we didn't tell them we would be reviewing the kits.
Rob: Note that, while we're working to present an honest review here, our perceptions may be colored a little bit by having to assemble dozens of these kits.
Back in September, we got our grubby mitts on roughly 120 kilos of raw uncut MDF, from Vanguard Tactics and 4Ground Publishing.
The biggest difference between the 4Ground/Vanguard Tactics terrain and any other MDF I've seen on the market is that this is all pre-painted. That is a massive quality of life improvement, and turns a full table's worth of terrain from a year-long hobby goal into an afternoon project, with no further work required. The pre-painting is done by painting the MDF sheets before lasering them, so any color variation on the finished product is accomplished through parts separation and layering. Particularly on the Military Base set, this is done very well, but it does mean that that set has an obscene parts count. A Necrotek building will have between 4 and 7 structural pieces, not including decoration. The smallest Military Base building has 9, the largest a staggering 28. Once you start adding accessories, the difference becomes even more noticeable.
The instructions, charitably, could stand to be improved. The Necrotek suffers the worst here: the instructions for all the pieces – large Ls, small Ls, and large Us – are each 3 pages, and mostly the same. The first page is a barely-legible line drawing of the MDF sheets in the box, which is only worth looking at for the parts list, if you want to confirm that you have the right ones (this has never been a problem, to their credit). The second page is the most useful one, because it shows the large panels broken out from their frames, how to assemble them, and in what order. The third page is exactly the same for all of the pieces: it shows the general gist of where to attach the greebles, but isn't specific to the actual thing you're building. Greebling is a free-form mode of expression with no pre-set outcome anyway, so that doesn't particularly matter.
The Gothic set is only slightly more complex of a build than the Necrotek, being roughly the same structure but with some trim to attach and window options to sort out. The Military Base absolutely benefits from reading and dry-fitting before applying any glue, but the instructions are clear enough.
For all my complaining about this, it's honestly the only downside that comes to mind with these kits, and can easily be worked around by dry-fitting. Also, once you build a couple of pieces of terrain, you don't really need them anyway. By the third building on my first table I was rarely looking at the directions, and I was able to talk a number of Terrain Helpers through it without them having to read them at all. It's an extremely minor issue, and everything else about this stuff rules.
As far as materials, the only hard requirement is normal elementary school looking white glue. A small sharp thing (like a key, or a flathead screwdriver) could be useful to persuade some of the smaller parts to leave their sheets, and a tablecloth and latex gloves would be a smart move, but all you really need is that classic, delicious, Elmer's glue. I've heard that clamps or rubber bands can be used to hold things together while the glue sets, or a hobby knife for trimming, but I found them completely unnecessary.
Necrotek
Of the three, the Necrotek goes together the fastest by far. After a bit of practice I was building (including gribblies) a full table in less than 90 minutes, but even going in blind on the first one, having never built any MDF terrain, it took a bit over 3 hours end-to-end. One weird tip for building this: take care to make sure the correct side is facing out, because it's easy to build mirror-image buildings. With the exception of the middle floor on the large U-shaped buildings, which goes in the other way, the shiny side should be facing out or up on all of them. If there are any joints you aren't particularly happy with – due to bad fitment or just looking weak – jam a couple of greebles in there to brace them.
I've built this one in copper, blue, and black. All of them have a metallic sheen, which makes the blue more of a gunmetal, and the black extremely effective if you're building a Necron-themed table. Subjectively, I don't love the look of it – it's fine, nice even, just not my particular thing, and it does get the job done. There's a neat thing that this set does, that we'll see again on the others, where they dropped the power on the laser so that it scores detail into the surface without burning all the way through. It's a nice way to get some extra detail into the look, without compromising the structure or LoS-blocking silhouette.
I wouldn't call this set flimsy, and I was never worried about breaking the thing when putting my models on it, but it doesn't have the reinforcing buttresses or thicker MDF of the Gothic and Military Base sets. It's a basic set, in looks and construction, but it has the price tag to match. If you wanted an acceptable-quality table to game on, I'm hard-pressed to think of an option that isn't either far more work or far more expensive. I don't want this to sound as mean as it might come off, but this is the Toyota Yaris of terrain. It's a table. You can play on it. Perhaps not much more, but absolutely not anything less.
Military Base
The Military Base is a beast of a build, but I will say this: if I'd only had to build one table instead of twenty five, I'd have a very different impression of it. For an afternoon (or two: initially this one was taking me about 8 hours start-to-finish, down to 5 when I got a better handle on it) of work, you get a full table of genuinely attractive, solidly built, terrain. It really is the nicest of the three sets we looked at. No, it's not a joy to build en masse, but if you only had one of them that would be fine. At any rate, compared to hypothetically having to paint a whole table of buildings, it's not even close, the Vanguard/4Ground stuff rules. Even with glueing on all the decorations, this is by far the fastest way in all of Warhammer to get a great-looking table up and running.
The inflated parts count here comes from two places: one is the buttresses that add detail and strength to the walls. Because of those buttresses, each level of terrain has its own wall on each side, instead of one large piece per facing across all the floors. That has the benefit of making the floors detachable, if you need to reach in between them or want to make them easier to store. The other is the optional accessories, cleverly printed on thin card stock instead of proper MDF. Each segment of each wall has a top and bottom trim piece, but it's the windows that take up a lot of time. The shutters are one piece, the doors are 4 (a door and a frame, on both the inside and outside), and the fans are, well, there's no easy way to say this. It's 13 pieces. Starting with one MDF plug, you have to layer on two frames, two shrouds, four fans, and finally four grills. It looks amazing, but there's a reason we used mostly shutters and doors on these kits. The windows can, obviously, just be left open as well.
The way it all fits together is clever, and other than my whining about the parts count, makes a lot of sense. There's usually only one place and orientation where you can fit a given piece (eg, the buttresses are specific to each floor, but they cut the tips and the corresponding slots such that you can't use the wrong one), which makes it surprisingly hard to screw up, as long as you dry-fit everything. The part that drove me insane, but in retrospect pays off in the finished product, is the detailing. The trim, doors, and window shutters are layered up on the outside of the walls, to provide some nice depth and complexity to the design.
Layering sheets to provide visual interest isn't anything new in the terrain world – real model railroad heads know, as does anyone with a cri-cut, along with every other MDF designer on the planet – but just because it's not original doesn't mean that it's not good. The terrain as a whole is a bit over-scale though: putting a space marine next to one, the doors must be 14 feet tall. This was never noticeable during a game.
This one has a couple of added bonuses, which is that a full table of it comes with a couple of extra pieces. Each of the sets we're looking at here have 8 line-of-sight-blocking ruins (2 big Ls, 2 Us, and 4 small Ls), but this one also packs in a couple of landing pads, which are basically light-cover craters, making it probably the best choice for a one-stop solution. Along with that, the big U-shapes (pictured lower right, in front of Mortarian, above) come with a small one-story detached wall (not pictured) that fits into the bottom level and can turn the U into a fully-enclosed "magic box" terrain piece.
It is the most expensive set we're reviewing here, but it's also probably worth it.
My personal choice, if I were building a table for myself, would be the Gothic. It slots right between the Necrotek and the Military Base in terms of both price and build complexity, and I prefer the aesthetic of it for general-purpose 40k tables that aren't tied to any particular army. There's still some decorative trim to attach, but each wall's trim comes in a single enormous part, instead of the 15 small pieces that the Military Base uses. The giant trim piece is easy to tear if you aren't careful, but just don't not be careful, simple as.
Every MDF sheet, from any manufacturer, has a clean side and a burnt side, based on which facing caught the brunt of the laser's fury. There's a neat trick to the Gothic tables, unique among these sets, where the burnt sides all face out, so that instead of hiding the scorch marks inside the completed structure, it's used as a sort of weathering. On the minus side, one of the large buildings has an inexplicably separated base, so you get to glue that together and then watch it slip out of alignment while you're attaching the walls. That's not great, but the grid pattern burnt into the floors and the ornate window treatments easily make up for one odd cutting choice.
The windows end up being the biggest piece of work, again. The options here are to leave the window sealed, and put a piece of trim over it, or to pop out the blocking piece and then put the trim in, seating it into the open slot. For the broken wall sections, they thoughtfully include broken window frames that fit right in. I closed them all off on my sets due to line of sight concerns, but if you do leave them open, gluing the trim in is fiddly and will absolutely get more glue on your hands than on the model, but looks nice and stays put once it's in. There are stained glass designs included in the box, printed on a clear sheet, that can be used to spice up any open windows. I didn't use them – I tried once and made a mess of things so bad that I had to just close the window up – but they looked neat and a better hobbyist could do great work with them. My complaint there is that the designs aren't cut out in any way – they have to be removed with a knife, the hard way, and cutting it wrong means it won't fit right. That said, if you wanted to use them, it adds some unique flair, and the windows can be cut into shards for broken glass. There's also a sheet of small propaganda posters that can be cut out and glued on. I also didn't use any of them. These are great little additions, and I regret not having the bandwidth to take advantage of them. If I'd had more time or been less concerned with GT usability at the cost of aesthetics, this could be a very appealing table to look at, but even rushed the way it was, it's still very nice, and solid to play on.
Greg: Folks, it's good.
Rob: I can elaborate on this a bit – while I've built a GW layout mirroring the recent US events at home, I've found this to be among my favorite terrain, primarily because it succeeds both at having large footprints but also being tall enough to hide larger models like Knights and Daemon Primarchs. One of the key struggles of the GW terrain is that some of it's barely over 3″ tall, which means wading into can suddenly make even relatively short models like a Talos or Daemon Prince suddenly visible anywhere on the table. I think it could stand to be updated with larger bases but on the whole, this is the best terrain to game on in 40k right now.
terrain review
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Perennials (25–) 30–40 (–70–120) cm tall, caespitose; rhizome short or ascending; stolons absent. Basal leaves numerous, to c. 20 (–30) cm long, usually 2–4 mm wide, rarely to 20 mm wide, ±flat. Cauline leaves 2–3, often involute, 5–8 (–20) cm long, to c. 7 mm (rarely to 12 mm) wide; margins swollen, ±smooth to papillose, ciliate to sparsely ciliate; apex obtuse to subacute. Lower bract c. 4–5 cm long, longer or rarely shorter than inflorescence. Inflorescence variable, either of 3–6 clusters on short unbranched peduncles or rich, to 30-clustered with many secondary branches; clusters of echinate appearance, subglobose, 5–10 (–12)-flowered, c. 0.8–1.0 cm long, 0.7–0.8 mm wide; peduncles smooth, 2–4 (–8) cm long, stiffly erect or erecto-patent. Tepals subequal, narrowly lanceolate (rarely linear-lanceolate), 2.8–4.4 mm long, acuminate, subulate, stramineous to pale brown, pale castaneous at base; margins very broad, membranous. Anthers 0.6–0.8 (–1.1) mm long; filaments (0.5–) 0.7–1.0 mm long; style 0.5–0.9 mm long; stigmas, c. 1.5–2.5 mm long. Capsule segments 2.2–2.7 × 1.5–1.8 mm. Seeds ellipsoid, 1.0–1.2 (–1.4) mm long, c. 0.7–0.8 mm wide.


I finally felt it was time to sit down and write out Carleigh's birth story (and the days after) before the memories start to fade and I forget all the little details.
Carleigh's induction was set for 7:30 am on Friday morning, March 27, 2009 at Clinton Memorial Hospital in Wilmington, OH. I woke up at 5:30 am that day so we would have time to get everything around without rushing. My parents came down the night before and that was very helpful. I finished packing our hospital bag while my mom attended to Kyndra. I made sure I ate my fill for breakfast because I knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything until I delivered Carleigh. So I made 3 blueberry waffles and ended up eating almost 2 of them. I also had a tall glass of ice cold milk. We got everything around and left our house at about 6:45 am to head to the hospital. I felt pretty calm on the ride there. I had been through an induction before with Kyndra so there was no reason to feel nervous about that part of it. Carleigh was already up for the day at this point and was moving and kicking and she already had a round of hiccups. We got to the hospital at about 7:15 am. I stopped by the registration desk to make sure I didn't have to register there since the hospital had done away with the preregister forms. They said I was ok to go straight up so we went to the elevator and went up to Mother Baby Care.
We check in with the nurses and they take me to my room, which is right next to the nurse's station. The door to my room already had a Do Not Disturb sign and a sign indicating bereavement, which I had requested in our birth plan. My nurse, Monica, showed me my gown and the lovely cup I got to pee in. So I dressed in my labor uniform and peed in the cup. Anthony's family arrived at the hospital and came to my room. Pastor Mike from my mom and dad's church also made an appearance, which was very nice, and Pastor Mark from our church was there. After some visiting we had family leave the room while Monica got my IV set and blood drawn. She got some saline running and then hooked me up to the monitor. She asked if I wanted to monitor Carleigh's heart rate and I said I wanted to at the moment. We also got some paperwork filled out, such as consent forms and birth certificate information. My cervix was checked and I was at 1 cm and my cervix was in a good position.
At about 8:15 am Monica got my Pitocin running. Around 9:00 am I was feeling the contractions but they weren't bad at all-just a little uncomfortable. I was still able to be my normally pleasant self for awhile. We had our family and friends come back in and Pastor Mark prayed. The cafeteria made homemade banana and blueberry muffins and brought drinks for our families, which was very nice! Close to 10:30 Monica backed down my Pitocin because I was having quite a few contractions close together but they weren't really bothering me. After things settled down she bumped my Pitocin back up and things continued steadily. At this point more of our family arrived for us. I was glad there was lots of people there supporting us. It helped to have them looking out for Kyndra because she couldn't really be in the room with me for very long. Kyndra had been very clingy to me for several days and being in the room for a long period of time just upset her because she couldn't be near me. When she was near she kept trying to pull at my IV and things she wasn't supposed to. During her midmorning nap though I was able to hold her and I really liked that. I don't like being away from my little girl for very long. I got some flowers from my friend Rachel and my former coworker Cathie. They made my room smell good and they were pretty. Throughout the whole labor our family and friends came in and out of my room visiting me and checking on how things were going.
Around lunch Monica let me have a cherry popsicle. I was so grateful for that darn popsicle. It tasted so good and I was hungry! It satisfied me for a least a little bit. My Pitocin was being bumped up every so often and the contractions were steady but still not too bad. I was able to get up and move around as I pleased. I browsed the internet and updated the blog every so often and I also read the end of the last book of Twilight to pass the time. I stayed hooked up to the contraction monitor the whole time besides when I used the restroom and when I walked the hallway later. Not long after 3 pm I had Monica hook me back up to the heart monitor but it was only for a little bit because Carleigh was moving around so much. Dr. F finally came by and checked on me. She checked my heart and lungs and then Carleigh's position on ultrasound to make sure she was in a favorable position for labor and she was head down and good! She didn't check my cervix because she didn't believe the contractions were hard or strong enough to really make any difference. So Monica just kept bumping up my Pitocin steadily.
Around 5 pm I decided to walk the hallways so I ok'd it with Monica and I was off! I went through 3 walking partners-my sister, my mother-in-law, and my pastor. It was nice to get up and move around for a bit. I didn't really feel much contractions while walking but I did feel some pressure down there. I did quite a few laps in the hallways. About 7 pm Dr. F came and check on me again. This time she checked my cervix and I was still at 1 cm and I was 60% effaced. So throughout the whole day all my cervix did was thin a little. That was quite frustrating. We were getting to the point where the Pitocin would only run for a few more hours and then we'd have to shut it off and start it back up again the next day. I really didn't like the idea of having to stretch out labor over several days. I just didn't feel like it would be good for Carleigh. Dr. F let me know that the other option would be to break my water but she knew I really didn't want to have to do that. In the birth plan I had wanted to keep my water intact to help protect Carleigh's head during delivery. It was a hard decision to make and I struggled to decide what would be best for my daughter. In the end I chose for Dr. F to break my water. When she broke my water it was more comfortable than when I had it done with Kyndra. There was a lot of fluid that came out-more than what I thought was in there! I soaked through 2 chux and a large towel.
Monica's shift ended at 7:30 pm and my next nurse was Erin. Right after Erin came I got another cherry popsicle, which was good! My contractions started to pick up with more intensity since my water was broken. I could still feel Carleigh moving around good in my tummy but it was weird feeling her moving in there with not a lot of fluid. Erin came in around 8 pm and brought me a quilt. The quilt was made by a volunteer and donated to the Mother Baby unit for them to give to a mommy and her baby. I guess they decided to give it to me. It is very pretty and I appreciated that they thought to give it to me. By this point the contractions started to get a little more painful but still tolerable. Around 9 pm Dr. F stopped in for another visit. My cervix was 2-3 cm and I was 80% effaced so I was making progress, but not as quickly as I would've liked. She checked her position of the ultrasound machine again and she was still good.
Contractions continued to get more uncomfortable and I was pretty sure at this point I would end up with an epidural. I knew how it helped relax me and made me dilate quicker with Kyndra so I just needed to decide when I wanted it. By 10 pm I was sure it was time for the epidural so the anesthesiologist was called. I was dilated to 3 cm. Dr. G was my anesthesiologist and she did a good job putting it in. She had me sit on the edge of the bed and Anthony was in front of me. My epidural with Kyndra I was lying down while it was put in. She kept the atmosphere light and cheery and that was helpful. The epidural worked pretty much right away but not long after it was in I started feel nauseous and my BP got a little low. I ended up throwing up and it was pretty much just spit because I had nothing in me. I did feel better after that though. I decided to rest as much as possible before the delivery so I slept for a little bit.
As time passed I noticed that my epidural was concentrated more on my left side. I couldn't feel a darn thing on that side but I could feel the contractions on my right side and move that leg around just fine too. Every time I had to move to change the pad underneath me it made me laugh because my left leg was just dead and it flopped around. It was funny to see. By this point it is 2 am and I got some ice chips for my dry throat. All of our family was out in the various waiting rooms either sleeping or just sitting around waiting. Anthony and Ashley, my friend and photographer, were sleeping in my room. I had thought that some of our crew was going to go home but everyone decided to stay and stick it out. Erin had brought me a handheld doppler earlier so I could check Carleigh's heart rate whenever I wanted. I didn't feel Carleigh kicking around as much and that worried me so I checked her heart rate on the doppler and it took me awhile to find it. It had me frantic when I couldn't find it. I remember thinking in my mind "oh please, please, please be ok little Carleigh." I wave of relief washed over me when I finally found it. It was faint on the doppler but it was there. Later I had Erin check it when I was worried and she found it and it was in the 140's. The contractions kept getting more intense and I started to have to concentrate a little on my breathing to help with them. Of course, I could only feel them on my right side.
By 3:30 am the contractions were pretty intense and Dr. F was back to check on me. I was starting to feel quite a bit of pressure down there and I let them know. She checked my cervix and said I was ready to push. I couldn't believe it! The time had arrived for the birth of my daughter. I was scared, nervous, excited.....so many emotions at once. I had Anthony call Lindsey, who was at her mom's house waiting for our call, so she could get to the hospital to videotape Carleigh as soon as she was out. The room was a flurry of activity. Erin, another nurse, and Dr. F were getting things ready for the actual delivery and afterward. I got in position at the end of my bed and Anthony came to my side. Ashley got her camera ready and got into position to take pictures. I started pushing when the next contraction came. I got in about 3 pushes per contraction. I only had to go through several rounds of pushing and Carleigh's head was out. Dr. F suctioned her mouth and nose and then I continued with more pushes until she was completely out. It was 3:49 am. Dr. F clamped her cord and Anthony cut it. Carleigh was immediately laid on my chest. She was so beautiful. I looked at her for only a few moments and I knew she was gone. Erin listened for her heartbeat with a little stethoscope but could not find any. My daughter was born still.
All I could do was stare at this precious baby I had just given birth to. She was mine. I had wanted so badly for her to be born alive and to be able to spend some time with her but at that moment it didn't matter. Regardless if she was alive or her spirit was already in Heaven, she was in my arms and that's all I cared about. After so many months of waiting for her she was here. Beside me, Anthony was crying for our daughter. I just gazed into her beautiful face, which looked much like Kyndra. I caressed her tiny fingers and toes. I just took it all in. I noticed her bruises from being born and I wished that they weren't there. I prayed that she passed before delivery and didn't have to suffer. Right after Carleigh was born Lindsey arrived and immediately started videotaping. Ashley was already taking lots of pictures.
It was about 45 minutes later that we let our parents come in to meet Carleigh. Anthony had went out to tell them that Carleigh had been born but that she didn't make it. Many of them took it hard. Emotions ran very high that evening as we both rejoiced for Carleigh's birth and mourned for her passing. Eventually we let everyone else come back. I had Erin weigh Carleigh and she was 3 lbs and 15 oz. A small little bundle of joy! After holding her a little longer I let Erin give her a bath. Carleigh stayed in the room while she did it and we all watched. Erin was very careful and gentle with her. After her bath she came back to me and I dressed her in her hospital outfit. It fit her so perfectly except for the hat, which was too big but I wasn't surprised. I had a tiny white crochet hat with ties that fit her just perfectly. That hat pretty much stayed on her the whole time. I had a tiny pink bracelet to put on her but it was too big for her little wrist so I put her gold ring, which was too big for her, on the bracelet and put it on her left ankle. It fit better there. She was such an angel in her little white and pink outfit.
I let all of our family and friends hold her while I ate a turkey sandwich and drank a 7UP. I was quite hungry and thirsty. I am sure it meant a lot for them to be able to spend some time with her. I didn't want anyone to miss out on that experience. We got some imprints of Carleigh's hands and her feet in clay. Then we got her hand and footprints in her baby book with pink ink and on the back of a few bassinet cards. Her hands were difficult to do because her fingers were starting to curl but we managed. I had Erin measure her and she was 13 1/2 inches long. Her head was 9 inches, her chest was 10 1/2 inches, and her abdomen was 10 inches. Eventually our crew filtered out of the hospital and back to wherever they were staying and Anthony and I were alone with our daughter. Once I was able to walk we went to our postpartum room with Carleigh. We got ready for bed and went to sleep. It was really the morning but we were quite exhausted from the long day and night behind us. Anthony was on the chair/bed in the room and Carleigh and I snuggled up in my bed.
The next day our family came back to the hospital to see us and we all just spent time with Carleigh. I had my mom and dad bring donuts for the nurses for being so nice to us. I made sure they brought me some donuts too. I changed the dressing on her head and my nurse, Michaella, helped me to get some locks of hair for us to keep. She actually had quite a bit of hair on her! The days in the hospital passed by so quickly. I really don't know where the time went. Before I knew it our last day arrived. Dr. F gave us the go ahead to be discharged after she checked me over. We went over last minute papers and made arrangements to take Carleigh to Fisher & Edgington funeral home.
I changed Carleigh's outfit to an all white one that had pants and a long-sleeved shirt. I didn't have any socks so I left the little booties on her. It was very emotional changing her clothes. I knew time was drawing near where I wouldn't be able to have her in my arms anymore and I honestly wasn't ready for that. So I dressed her with tears in my eyes and then I held her so very close to my heart. All of our stuff was ready to go. Michaella brought a cart and we loaded up and she escorted us out. It felt like a walk down death row, not that I have ever experienced that but that's all I can think of to compare it to. We got to the main entrance of the hospital and Anthony and my dad went and got the cars and loaded things up. I stayed inside with Carleigh because it was a little chilly and rainy outside and I didn't want her out in that. It was just me and Michaella inside now and we hugged and cried and said goodbye. I walked Carleigh out to the van. I made sure she was covered up good with her fuzzy pink blanket. We made the too short drive to the funeral home and went inside. Craig, one of the funeral directors, was waiting for us. Anthony and I sat on the couch with Carleigh and spent our last few minutes with her. We hugged and kissed her and just stared at our precious daughter. Then I got up and I handed her over to Craig and gave her one last kiss. Honestly, that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It broke me. Anthony held me and I just sobbed. I couldn't catch my breath. He kept his arm around me as we went out to our van. We made the long drive home without our daughter. At that moment I never felt more empty before in all my life. I missed having her in my arms and it had only been a few minutes since she had left them. At home I could only look forward in anticipation to the next day when I could see my daughter again, even though it would be to dress her in her burial outfit.
Some days are more of a struggle than others, but every day I miss her. I am so glad I had this journey with Carleigh and that she is my daughter. She is so very special me and a blessing straight from God. Thank you, Lord, for sending her to me.
I had a follow-up appointment today at the Mother Baby Care unit where I delivered Carleigh so my mom drove me there this afternoon. Renee, who is the lactation consultant, did my visit with me. She went over a list of things to make sure I was healing and feeling well (both physically and emotionally) and she also took my BP. She gave me a certificate of life for Carleigh and also a little note of sympathy from the nurses who took care of me during my stay.
Today Carleigh's obituary ran in several papers. I have the one out of Wilmington's paper thanks to Lindsey. She picked me up one while I was at the hospital for my visit.
Today I have been busy sorting through and editing pictures, scanning various things onto the computer, completing Carleigh's baby book, and preparing her scrapbook. It's a lot of work! I've made a small dent in what needs to be done and I'll be working on everything more tomorrow. Carleigh's baby book is as completed as I can get it for now and now it is time to start on her scrapbook, which will take a lot of time. I've already got some pictures printed out and I plan on printing out some more this evening to prepare. Tomorrow evening Anthony and I will be going over to Lindsey and Jarrod's house to take the pictures over for Carleigh's slideshow. Jarrod is putting together one for her service on Saturday. I know it will be so amazing and I have no doubt it will make me cry. I also need to call Dr. F's office and schedule a 2 week and 6 week follow-up with her.
I got an email from Heidi at Duke saying that they got the blood samples from me and Anthony and also Carleigh's cord blood. She also said she got the pictures of Carleigh's head I sent her. They have started chromosome analysis on Carleigh's blood and she will call us when they have the results, which will be approximately 4 weeks.
Today my milk finally came in and my breasts started to get a little engorged so I decided it was time to start pumping. Originally my plan was to pump and store up enough milk to donate but lately I have been thinking of just pumping it and giving it to Kyndra if she will drink it. I was able to pump 5 oz today. I haven't given her any yet but tomorrow I will give it a try. She won't drink regular milk out of her sippy cup so maybe she will drink my breast milk. If Kyndra won't take it then I will donate it. I'm not sure how long I will pump but I know I will slowly try to reduce my supply over time so that I don't have to deal with engorgement. This way will be a little less uncomfortable. I would've loved the opportunity to breastfeed Carleigh because it's such a wonderful bonding experience between mother and child and I loved doing it with Kyndra.
Anthony and I went to the funeral home this morning to finish going over a few things with Brian and so that I could dress Carleigh in her burial outfit. We looked over the obituary and memorial card to make sure everything was ok. We also looked at the rough draft of what will be on Carleigh's marker and it looked good. Anthony's dad and brother weren't there yet so we took some time and just held Carleigh. She was very cold from the embalming fluid and her nose kept running so we had to keep tissues handy to wipe her little nose. They had her in her casket and she looked so tiny in it. It made me tear up just seeing her in there. I was so glad to see her because I missed her very much. We left her with her fuzzy pink blanket so we held her in that so we wouldn't have to feel her so cold.
Once his dad and brother arrived we got everything ready to change her clothes. I took my time changing her because I wanted to savor being with my daughter. Her outfit looks very adorable on her. A little big but it still looks good. I put her jewelry on her too. After she was all dressed I put her back in her casket and covered her up with the blanket Anthony's grandma made. I made sure I gave her lots of kisses before we left.
I am at home now and I am struggling. I miss my little girl so, so much. After we got the ok to leave from Dr. F my nurse, Michaella, got everything ready. Meanwhile, I dressed Carleigh in a different outfit to go to the funeral home. It starting getting to me at this point because I knew very soon she would no longer be in my arms. I was crying after I got her all dressed. She even looked so precious in her all white outfit. I wrapped her up in her fuzzy pink blanket and Michaella escorted us all out. Anthony went and got the van and our parents helped load all of our stuff up. It was just Michaella and I in the atrium and we both started to cry. I hugged and thanked her and went out to the van. The drive to the funeral home was too short. We took her in, along with our parents, to one of the funeral directors, Craig. We sat down for a little bit and spent a little more time with her. I couldn't stop crying. We set up to meet with them tomorrow for some last minute things and I will also be dressing Carleigh in her burial outfit. Finally, I had to hand my precious baby over to Craig. That was so very hard. I broke down. I know she is no longer in her body but I miss her so much. My arms feel so empty. My tummy no longer feels her little kicks. My heart is truly broken. I am very anxious to see her again tomorrow and to hold her close.
Right now we are just spending some time with Carleigh. We have some family that are with us too. I will probably post in a few days our birth story. I know I want to get it down before the little details of it fades. Carleigh is 3 lbs 15 oz and 13 1/2 inches long. She's a tiny little girl but she has a big hold on her mommy's heart! I had wished very much that Carleigh would be born alive and that we could spend some time with her that way but I am not heartbroken that she was born still. When it came right down to it, it just didn't matter. Between Ashley, Kim, my father-in-law, and myself we will have lots of pictures. We also made sure to get lots of keepsakes. We have imprints of her hands and feet and also her hand and footprints. Just this afternoon we clipped some of her hair to keep. Yes, she has hair! I think she looks very much like her sister Kyndra, especially those precious chubby cheeks! I love holding her in my arms and just being close to her. I imagine we will be here in the hospital until sometime tomorrow. I plan on keeping her until we leave. At that time, we will call our funeral director and we will go with him to the funeral home. That is the part I am not looking forward to at all. It is going to be so hard.
Carleigh McKenna was stillborn at 3:49 am this morning. She weighs 3 lbs 15 oz. She's already had her first bath and has her outfit on. We've gotten hand and footprints. Now we are just spending a little time with her.
I have woken up so I thought I'd write. My epidural seems to be concentrated more on my left side. My left leg is completely dead. It was quite comical trying to change the pad underneath me. I just had to laugh. I have some ice chips because my throat is kinda dry. Anthony and Ashley are sleeping in my room and the rest of the family is spread out among a few waiting rooms. Some are awake and some are sleeping. I'm surprised that everyone has stuck around. I thought a few were going to leave and then come back. What troopers. I don't feel Carleigh kicking as much but that could be because of the epidural. She's been checked twice on the doppler and her heart rate is in the 140's. She had me worried when I checked it myself the first time because it took me awhile to find it. I am starting to feel contractions more on my right side. If they get stronger Erin will have the anesthesiologist come and check to see if she can help fix that. Right now it's not too bothersome. It's funny how things can be so different from labor to labor.
Epidural is in and I feel much better. No problems with it going in and I don't feel a thing. My BP got a little low for a few minutes and I got nauseous and threw up some spit pretty much. Once I threw up I felt better though. Just lying in bed now getting ready to sleep. It hit me how tired I was once I couldn't feel any more contractions. Hopefully when I wake up I will be close to having Carleigh. We'll see I guess!
Dr. F has stopped in for another check-in. She checked my cervix and I am 2-3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. So we are making progress! She checked Carleigh's position on the ultrasound and she is still where she needs to be. Contractions are getting stronger and more uncomfortable. I will probably end up with an epidural at some point simply because I know how beneficial it was during Kyndra's labor to help relax me and dilate my cervix quicker. On another note, I seem to be staying pretty calm and in check today, which has actually surprised me. I thought maybe I'd be more emotional but I'm not. Perhaps that is God working and all the prayers from so many people.
The contractions are starting to get a little more painful. I'm a 1-2 on a pain scale of 10 right now and I'm sure that number will steadily increase over time. Pray that Carleigh tolerates labor well and she makes it through everything ok!
Thanks to Rachel and Cathie for sending me flowers to let me know you were thinking about me. They are pretty and smell wonderful! Rachel sent me the pink one and Cathie the other one.
Monica's shift has ended and now my nurse is Erin. I asked Erin for another popsicle and she gladly obliged. Cherry too! I feel less hungry now thank goodness. It feels like contractions are starting to pick up a little so that is a good sign.
Monica just increased my Pit to 39 mL/hr but before that I was walking the hallways for a little bit. I went through 3 walking partners. I really hope that helped to dilate my cervix. I felt some pressure down there while walking but not much with contractions. Maybe that's because I was just walking. I dunno. I'm going to try and get a nap here in a little bit before contractions get to where I won't be able to. It's supper time and I know it and that makes me hungry. It's hard not to think about all the things I'd like to be eating right now. A double cheeseburger from Burger King sounds quite tasty right now. That's the thing I hate about labor and delivery-they starve you! Ugggh!!
My Pit is up to 27 mL/hr and at the moment I'm still not feeling pain with contractions. It's more "uncomfortable" than anything else when I get one. I finally finished reading the last book of the Twilight series-Breaking Dawn. (Good books by the way.) I had Monica put me on the heart monitor for Carleigh for a little bit and everything was sounding good. Dr. F stopped by and checked on me. She checked my lungs and also Carleigh's position via ultrasound. Carleigh is head down and in a good position. No cervix check yet. Dr. F thinks that the contractions aren't hard enough to really be doing much yet. So they'll just keep pumping up the Pit.
My Pit has been bumped up twice and I am up to 12 mL/hr and the contractions still aren't that bad but they are getting a little stronger. I'm still up and moving about when I like and still pleasant to be around (in my opinion). I feel like no progress is being made but that may just be me. They havent checked my cervix since this morning so I don't know if I'm dilated any further. Dr. F should be in soon to check on me. Everyone's eating lunch and I got a cherry popsicle. I was very grateful for that popsicle.
Kyndra has been mostly out of the room as she wants to grab everything I'm hooked up to. Poor girl, because she really wants her mommy. But there's lots of people to keep her occupied. She took a nap this morning so I was able to hold her then.
Not too much action right now to report. I was having quite a few contractions together-not bothersome-so Monica backed down the Pit. Things settled down so she bumped it back up. Contractions have increased but aren't really bothering me right now. More family has arrived.
I am in the hospital and everything is filled out. IV is in and Pitocin is running. I'm already having some contractions. Lots of family here along with Pastor Mark and Pastor Mike. Anthony just went to go get everyone to come back into the room and we're going to pray. Everyone is being so nice and accommodating. The cafeteria is making homemade banana and blueberry muffins for my family and they already brought up some drinks. My nurses are Emily and Monica and I'm sure they'll be great.
Well, today is the big day-the induction. Been up since 5:30 am. Currently eating some waffles (3 to be exact because I know they will take away my food) and milk. Kyndra is being very clingy to me this morning, as she has been the past few days. I wonder if she senses that something is up. She's only calm right now because she's eating waffles too. I'm still doing ok this morning, probably because I still have to finish packing the hospital bag and get ready. So my mind is a little elsewhere right now. I think what has helped this week is reading books. I only have a couple chapters left on the Twilight series and I had wanted to finish it last night but Kyndra was only wanting me so I couldn't. I'll take my book to finish it off at the hospital.
Thank you, Lord, for my husband who has stood by my side in everything.
Thank you, Lord, for my daughter who is a constant joy to me.
Thank you, Lord, for the many blessings you have given my family whether we recognize them or not.
Thank you, Lord, for family and friends who show unwavering support.
Thank you, Lord, for those that know that this journey isn't about anyone or anything else but our precious baby.
Thank you, Lord, for hard times for it is through these times that Your glory is revealed.
Thank you, Lord, for sending me such a special child to love and care for.
Here are a few more pictures from our prayer shower on March 14. These pictures were taken by Anthony's dad.
A few thank yous to those who have gave us gifts.
To Denise and Autumn for the photo album engraved with Carleigh's name.
To Jessica and her family for the heart photo frame.
To Pi and her family for the photo frame that can be personalized with Carleigh's stats.
To Rachel for the gift card to get a necklace with Carleigh's hand and footprints.
To Sharon for the willow tree figurine of a mother and her baby.
Last night Anthony and I met with Brian from the funeral home to finishing making all the arrangements. We first went over the obituary. Brian had a draft all printed up and we looked over it to see if there were any changes that needed to be made. We did the same for Carleigh's memorial card. I still have to pick out a poem or saying to go in the card. I have to do that today, along with picking out one for her marker, and email it to Brian. There were only a few changes to be made but also some things are still up in the air like dates to put and such. I also need to give Brian the info to where we'd like memorials to go (instead of people getting flowers). Brian had Carleigh's casket out so we could see it. It was very pretty. I already know she'll look very angelic in it.
We had already picked out Carleigh's marker but Brian didn't have the info down so we went over that again and we picked out a vase to go beside the marker so we can put flowers in it. The cemetery won't allow flowers on the ground, except for around Memorial Day. So you can either have a vase to put it in or put it directly on the marker and I don't want to scratch the marker at all. It'll take about 6-8 weeks for the marker to arrive. I hope it turns out good and we like it.
We talked about the possibility of Anthony and I taking her to the funeral home instead of having them pick her up. We'll have to see what the hospital's policy is on that when we go in. I told Brian that I would like to dress her in her burial outfit when it is time and I should be able to do so. We picked the times for the visitation and the funeral. Now I just need to finalize the actual service with Pastor Mark. I'll have to pick out some things for that this week.
On a lighter note, Carleigh had the hiccups 3 times yesterday (at least that I could feel!). She's definitely getting them more often and I hope that is a good sign for her lungs. Also, one day Kyndra was lying on my tummy and both her and Carleigh had the hiccups at the same time. It was so cute!
Today I had my final OB appointment before meeting Carleigh. Kyndra and I got there a little early but we had to wait a little bit because they forgot to tell Dr. F she had an earlier appointment. No big deal. I was off work today because Kyndra had a fever of 103 last night but she is feeling much better today. My BP was good at 88/58 and I am still at 120.5 lbs. My fundal height is still at 29 cm too. Carleigh's heart was pumping strong at 131 bpm.
Dr. F went over the ultrasound report and we talked about that for a few minutes and then I mentioned to her getting induced on Friday. So we talked about all the options with that and a few things about my birth plan. She called Mother Baby Care to make sure that there were slots open for me to get induced. So we are set to go in on Friday at 7:30 am. Wow! That's only a few days away and that's so hard to believe. I still haven't packed my hospital bag yet. I'll try and get that done sometime this week, perhaps today.
So, to all of those following our journey I will be posting updates as often as I can on Friday to keep everyone up to date on the progress.
Saturday I had my belly casting party. It was a pretty good turnout. My mom and Anthony's mom were there, along with my sister-in-laws, Chantel and Taylor. I also had some friends there from high school-Rachel, Jessica (also my cousin), Pi, Katie, Denise, and Autumn. I had a little bit of food out to snack on. We had cocktail wieners, pineapple, strawberries, and watermelon. Seems like a weird combination but it was good!
The belly casting started out by draping some plastic and then a sheet over the couch to avoid any spillage of the casting materials. Chantel helped me wrap saran wrap over my pants and bra. (I did buy the bra to just wear for the casting but it was so comfy I wanted to keep it so I decided that should be wrapped too.) I applied the jelly that was supplied on my belly to help keep the cast from sticking to me but in retrospect I didn't put enough on because it still stuck to me and it wasn't real pleasant coming off. I then parked myself on the couch and the casting began!! After all the strips were on the plaster was applied to help smooth it out. The belly cast turned out really well thanks to everyone's help. The only thing left to do is sand it down a little once it is completely dry and then put a primer on it and paint it with a design and put on a ribbon to hang it.
Chantel helping me get the saran wrap on.
Autumn applying a strip of the cast.
Taylor smoothing a strip down.
Chantel and Rachel applying the layer of plaster.
Me applying plaster to the inside of the cast.
My ultrasound is done and it went ok. Little Carleigh is head down still and she had her spine pointing up so Beth couldn't get any good pictures of her face. This is the first time she was flipped that way so it was interesting! My fluid levels are good-they are around 20 (over 25 is considered poly). Beth took measurements of her femur length, humerus length, and abdominal circumference. Her femur and humerus are measuring around 35 weeks. Her abdominal circumference is measuring around 32 weeks. From the 3 measurements her estimated weight is about 4 lbs 13 oz (+/-13 oz), but we can't really be sure on the accuracy of this because no head measurements could be obtained but it's still nice to know. On the US report Dr. H mentioned that at my first US back in Sept Carleigh's CRL (crown-rump length) was measuring about 6 weeks and put my due date at April 24, but this measurement was likely wrong because of Carleigh's head, which would've measured shorter. He believes my due date is really April 17, which is what it originally was based on my LMP. I totally trust Dr. H and I believe he is right. It makes perfect sense now. So really I am 36 weeks today instead of 35 weeks. I did go back and talk to him about the due date and all of Carleigh's measurements while Lindsey and I were on our way to lunch. He said that her growth is lagging behind and it seemed he thought not waiting too long to have her was a good idea, which I agree with. (I had voiced my concern about her being stillborn.) He said he definitely wouldn't wait until May, which was the original plan based on the April 24 due date.
I do plan on talking everything over with Dr. F on Monday (I moved my appointment from Thurs to Mon) but the plan is to go ahead with an induction next week. I would like to have it on Friday when I will turn 37 weeks (based on the April 17 due date) but I will need to check and make sure that all the slots aren't filled for that day. I'm hoping they are not. That's one of the reasons I moved my appointment up so that I would have a better chance of getting the day I want. It puts me a little more at ease knowing she will be considered "full-term" at the time I would like the induction to be. Looks like we will be meeting Carleigh very soon!
I had another OB appointment today. My BP was 102/64 and my weight was 120.5 lbs so I am down 1/2 a lb from last week. Carleigh's heart rate was 148 bpm and she even decided to kick the doppler for fun. What a spunky lil girl! I am displeased to say that I have fallen even further behind on my growth. I turn 35 weeks tomorrow and my fundal height is measuring around 29cm. Thus, I am 6 weeks behind, which is even further than my last appointment. This really worries me. Dr. F left it up to me whether I wanted to get an US. I, of course, want one and it is scheduled for tomorrow at 10am.
Dr. F and I discussed all the options. It is looking like Carleigh has IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction) and that is not good. Having IUGR increases Carleigh's chances of being stillborn and that is something I do not want at all. So it is very likely that I will not be going to my due date like I had wanted. I guess it all depends on how tomorrow's US goes. If she is significantly behind on her growth then it may be time for her to come out. They will only be able to measure her femur length and abdominal circumference so that will all we have to go by. I have an appointment set up next week to go back to Dr. Fauley. She plans on doing the Strep B and checking my cervix.
Please pray for Carleigh's US tomorrow. I am hoping that her growth isn't as far behind as my belly is but in all honesty I am not that optimistic. It's not good for her to be farther than 3 weeks behind and the last time I had an US tech check her growth (not scheduled) she was around 3 weeks behind. PRAY HARD!!!
I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off. I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Instead of complaining, be thankful!!!
There are so many things in our lives to be thankful for. Why don't we take the time to appreciate that which we have been given? Instead so many tend to focus on and complain about the things that we don't like or seem to go wrong. You can bet if you look hard enough you can always find something to complain about. Why do that? Why not focus instead on all the blessings?
Take pregnancy, for instance. There can be quite a bit to complain about since there are so many changes going on with a woman's body. I belong to a due date group for Carleigh and you can hear quite a few complaints in the group. Everyone is getting closer to their due dates and getting more and more uncomfortable and miserable. Everyone's pretty much ready for their baby to come out already! I'm not trying to put anyone down by any means! I did my fair share of complaining with Kyndra and with Carleigh. However, the things that seemed so "bad" suddenly seemed so insignificant when we found out about Carleigh's anencephaly. Give me the terrible heartburn if my daughter could be healed. Give me all your stretch marks-just let my baby live. Give me all your aches and pains and contractions. I will gladly take it all if only I could spend just a day, a week, a month with my child safe in my arms. My perspective has totally changed-not with just my pregnancy but with many things in life. I've taken a lot of things for granted, believe me, but Carleigh has changed that quite a bit. I look at Kyndra in a whole new light. She is a precious gem and I actually cherish her more than before if that is possible! Life is so precious and fragile and we never know when it will be taken away from us.
It's not just pregnancy I look at differently-it's life itself and everything in and about it. I have been forever changed by this experience and I will never be who I once was before this journey. I believe I am a better and stronger person. My faith has been tested yet I have not wavered.
I have been blessed with a very special daughter. I was hand-picked by God to carry this child and only He knows the reason why. Why me? Is it because He knew I would accept her despite her anomaly and regardless of whatever anyone else thought or said? Is it because He knew I would love her unconditionally? Perhaps it is all of these and even more.
I try not to think about what the near future holds for us. I try and treasure the moments we currently have with Carleigh but it is hard not to think about. I get so excited over every little thing she does. Her little acrobatics bring me much pleasure. Her hiccups excite me beyond words. When I see her on the ultrasound screen I can't help but smile. I know that at any moment she could be taken away from us and that is something I am not ready for. I want her with me as long as possible-both in my belly and in my arms.
I guess what I really want to say is don't worry so much about things that don't really matter. Be thankful for what God has blessed you with. You truly don't know how good you have it until you're close to losing it all.
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Our prayer shower was today and it was amazing! First of all, a BIG thank you to Holly, our Pastor's wife, who did a wonderful job of putting it all together! I know she had help from various people but she's the brain child of the whole thing.
We started off in the Family Life Center of our church where we had lunch. We had a pretty great spread too! I'm not sure of all who made food but thanks! I had a hot dog because I haven't had one in awhile and it sounded good. The punch was good too! So everyone ate and socialized and that was fun. A lot of our family was there and that was great to see. I was glad to see some of our church family there too.
One of the things we did for the shower was that people brought baby bottles filled with money (bills or change) that would later be donated to the Clinton County Women's Center. Everyone did great in this and we were able to collect approximately $457 for the center. Holly let everyone know who attended the shower what the center does for women in the area and that this was a cause that is very close to my heart. I know Holly let the ladies of the center know about my shower but I don't think they were able to make it but they did send a rose and a card to the shower to let us know they were thinking of us at that time. It was nice!
A little bit after everyone had finished eating we made our way over to the sanctuary of our church for the prayer part of the shower.
At the front of the church they had a table with lavender tulips and a baby picture. There was also a box off to the side that had Carleigh's name on it. The front of the box has a space where we can put a photo of Carleigh. In the box are letters and prayers from many family and friends of ours. We have read some but not all yet and they are very thoughtful and touching and we truly appreciate the time everyone took to write to us.
The service started out with prayer (of course). Pastor Mark prayed over Anthony, Kyndra, and I while everyone else was gathered around us. We then viewed a slideshow on the projector screen of photos of Anthony and I growing up. There were also pictures of Kyndra, Carleigh's 3D ultrasound photos, and photos from our maternity session. It was set to music-Beyond Measure by Jeremy Camp. It was really neat to see. Next the song Hope Now by Addison Road was played and the words were on the screen to read. After the song was over Pastor Mark annointed Carleigh and prayed. Another song, I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp, was played and the words again were on the screen. Next Pastor Mark prayed over our families. He was on one side and Holly was on the other while he prayed. We all sang Great Is Thy Faithfulness in closing. Then we all went back out to the Family Life Center for cake.
The cake was made by Angie, who goes to our church. The cake was so good! I loved the frosting! I think Angie should go into the cake-making business because I would go to her for all of our cakes for sure! I really loved the saying on the cake. It said "All of God's grace in one little face." Holly found the little saying online and I think it is just perfect!
After cake everyone just socialized some more and slowly made their way out and back home. Thank you to everyone who attended and also to those who prayed for us even though they couldn't be there. Thank you to everyone who wrote to us for the box. I'm sure I will post some more pictures in another post since Anthony's Dad took more pictures than I did. I only took the ones I already have up but I'd love to share some more.
We have received a few more gifts lately.
My friends Tara (TaraKay) and Rebecca (MylifeMylove23) from Cafemom got me a couple baby books from A Place To Remember. I told Tara I couldn't decide between a couple of them since I couldn't look through them and see them personally and I had planned to get them both and then decide but they offered to get them for me, which I really appreciate! I decided to go with the one with the light blue cover so now I just need to get the memorial book to go with it. The other book I will offer to the ladies in my ABFA group. Thank you ladies!!!
Melinda, who goes to my church, made a couple hats. One is for Kyndra and one is for Carleigh. I think you can figure out which hat goes to who. They are very cute! Thank you!!
Anthony's Grandma crocheted a blanket for Carleigh. I had told her that I didn't have one that would be buried with her so she asked what I wanted and I said a blanket that was white and lavender and not too big. The blanket is just perfect and she did a wonderful job! Thank you Grandma!!
Anthony's Mom bought Carleigh a cross necklace from Von's and also rings for Kyndra and Carleigh from there. The necklace is gold with a small diamond in the middle. Kyndra's ring is solid gold and Carleigh's has a design around the edge. It's hard to see in the picture the exact designs because since it is so close up you can't see a lot of detail. Thanks Mom!!!
I have a few gifts I received recently so here they are! My sister-in-law, Chantel, and her husband, Rob, and their family got us a plain white outfit with a gold cross on the hat. It velcros together instead of snapping and is pretty neat! I think this would be the perfect outfit for Carleigh to be in when she leaves us and goes to the funeral home (but before we put her in her burial outfit). They also got Carleigh and I matching pearl bracelets. They are very pretty and so dainty and girly! Thank you!!
I also received in the mail today a handmade blanket from Megan (meg1129) from Cafemom. It's so beautiful and wonderfully made! The color is so rich and I love the shade of pink. The bows make it extra cute! Thank you!!