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S2E11: 'After Sleep' with Chana Ross: Your vagina and sleep!
Amanda: (00:00)
Hey everybody, welcome to another edition of slumber party. I invite you to my slumber party, except unlike the ones you attended in the 90s. This one actually includes sleep for you, your children, and the entire family. Every week I have any unique guests or I answer a fun question about sleep to get you in your family, this sleep that you need. Today we're talking with Chana Ross who is a, I wanted to say vagina physio, but that's not what she is. She's a pelvic floor physiotherapist out of Vital Physio in wellness in Midtown Toronto. She is such a force of nature. If you've ever met Chana in real life, you're just enveloped by her energy and her fun and her laughter. She's so, so, so great. And we've been wanting to talk about sleep and vaginas for a while. I, we always do a deep dive, but this was a pretty good deep dive into some mental health stuff as well. Some things that you might want to look out for, for yourself. Chana can be found online. She gives all of her links. Take a look at Vital Physio Therapy and Wellness online. If you want to get in touch with her or book an appointment with her or her team. Thanks for joining us. This is a judgment free zone. All types of sleep are encouraged. So put on your headphones, walk around for the duration of a crap nap, and just enjoy yourself.
Hi Chana. Are you there?
Chana: (01:39)
I am here. How are you?
I'm great. How are you?
Good, thanks. Thanks for having me.
Thank you for, so I'm so embarrassed when I record virtually with people who are literally down the street.
We so should've done this side by side! That would've been fun!
It would have been, but you are a busy woman, you're at work right now, right?
Yes! I am hiding in a back office in my clinic.
Honestly, the sound there is really good. So if you ever decide to do a podcast, you should do it in that room.
When?! Alright, Done!
Just stop sleeping, right, and that's all you need to do.
That's great. We'll just add that to the list. Okay.
Yeah, that's it. Don't worry about it. Okay. So Chana, you are, the vagina queen.
Is that what I am?
Yeah. Yeah. I actually think you're so smart because a lot of physios offer a pelvic physio, but Vital actually specializes in it. So why don't you tell us a little about you and what you, where your clinic is and what, what you do there.
Sure. Talk about myself? Okay! My name is Chana, I'm the clinic director at Vital Physiotherapy and Wellness, which is a perinatal clinic ,pelvic health clinic in Midtown Toronto. And we have a multidisciplinary clinic. We have seven pelvic health physios, so physios who really focus in on pelvic health, and prenatal prep and postpartum recovery and different areas, like, you know, different times in a woman's life in and around menopause. We treat after mastectomy and breast cancer and a whole host of things that women experience. But we also have a, but wait, there's more. Amanda! I have an amazing chiropractor and naturopath and massage therapists and we run, exercise classes all focused on women in the perinatal period and in and around menopause.
Awesome. That's so great.
Whew that was a lot about me!
You're also sort of a community hub. So I live in, you're in Midtown, on St Claire West in Toronto, and I live around that area and there's always something going on there. You know, you're always hosting classes, mom and baby things, fitness stuff. Like you're just really good at that. You are a community builder for sure.
I, you know, I, I as you know, I think that, you know, sometimes motherhood or Parenthood can be very isolating. And so one of the ways that we feel better is, is just by being around nice people. So that's something I try to do! Very technical.
Bring good Juju into the, into the place!
So I think that like one of the things, so we talk a lot just casually on our own and we're always trying to collaborate on something. And I wanted to have you on as part of my, after the sleep series of some experts and guests who can help parents and moms figure out next steps once their head is on straight, right? Like, once you're sleeping your eight hours again and you're sort of being like, "okay, now I have some time to do some things. My body is ready for a little bit of a change." You know what, how can I do that? So like I said, I'm talking to Dara Bergeron who's a fitness expert. I talked to Your Shop Girl about some, some clothing stuff and we've always sort of talked about how for pelvic physio, sleep is required. And so I definitely want to talk about this, but I also, for those who don't know what the hell would be wrong with their vagina or why they need to go see a pelvic physio, I would love for you to talk about this because truth be told, I didn't know that this was a thing. And pretty much until I knew you and I was, "Oh" like I've randomly heard about some people I know who had like trauma, seeing someone, but there's a whole clinic devoted to it? And then like now I'm in, like now I'm all in, I know what's going on. But tell, tell the average person who was like me, what you do!
Okay! I would love to. So I guess, one of the things that we think about, we think about pelvic floor, and I will, I will launch into anatomy cause it's one of my favourite things to talk about, but when we talk about our vaginas, what we don't realise is like our vaginas are actually made of muscles. So the pelvic floor is three layers of muscles that sit at the base of your pelvis. So if you literally take your hand and you put it on your crotch, you're welcome. You're, you're placing your hand over three layers of muscles that are called the pelvic floor muscles and they, they extend from the front of your pelvis at your pubic bone, which is right above like, you know, your Mons pubis, where your hair is. Right behind that is your pubic bone. It goes all the way to the back at your tailbone, which is literally at the top of your bum crack, and side to side from one sit bone to another. So it's like a bowl of muscle that sits at the base of your trunk and has five really important jobs. Job number one is to hold up your organs, hold up your bladder, your uterus, your rectum, and all of your internal organs.
Is that the muscle that kind of goes when you have like a prolapse.
So yeah, so a prolapse is when that role is not being done correctly. So, your organs, your bladder, your uterus, and your intestines and your rectum, they're held from above with ligaments, and ligaments have like a little bit of elasticity to them. And over time, the same way like a hair elastic, when you keep wrapping it over and over and over again, it starts to get stretched out. Over time, those can get stretched out. So you've got that support from above, like inside, and above those organs. But below the organs are these three layers of muscles and they help hold them up as well. But, these muscles are like any other, the only thing they've ever heard is to kegel. Right? So, you know, use it or lose it. Same thing like any other muscle if you're not using them correctly, then it's up to the ligaments to just keep holding on. And so either a really very fast forceful activity, like delivering a baby. Yeah. Or things like persistent, like persistent, like, very small… Somebody who has a chronic coughs or somebody who weightlifts all the time and holds their breath and bears down all the time. Someone with chronic constipation, you're getting that constant downward pressure, that's putting pressure on the ligaments. And if the muscles below are not trained to manage that pressure, then then we start to see some of those organs descend, and they can descend out of your vagina or out of your rectum.
Wow. Okay. Shit.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does make sense. It's crazy.
So your vagina's on the only orifice in the pelvic floor. So you have your urethra, where your pee comes out of and your bladder is right on top of that, your vagina, you have your cervix and your uterus right on top of that, and your, your anus and on top of your anus is your rectum. And what's really interesting is all of those, your urethra, your vagina and your anus, they're muscular. The muscles are, they basically go progressively, almost like a sandwich. There's an outer layer, a middle layer, and a deep layer, and there's three layers of muscles so you can retrain these things, right? So prolapse sounds really, really scary. And to a certain degree we can really rehabilitate prolapse. There are other options when rehabilitation isn't fully going to help, but, a lot of the things that, so we're going to talk about. So number one, is it's supportive, right? These muscles support all those organs. But a lot of the things that we think of postpartum in relation to our nether regions, we think of them as like, "Oh, well what did you expect? You had a baby, obviously you're going to have prolapse."
So much of what I hear is "You're never gonna sleep again. You had a baby, that was your choice."
YES. Exactly! That's why I love you, right? Like these things that we just like… And they're beliefs, they're beliefs that we're like, well, "what? Of course that's going to happen." Well, no, not of course. Like there's so much that, I think that we feel so defeated postpartum because, you know, we're like, well, my life will never be the same. It won't ever be the same, but it's likely going to be better. Right? But we have to put the pieces into place to make that, to make that the case. Right?
I get very off track. So the first.. it has Five jobs, like, reign it in Chana!!
No you're doing great! I mean, I'm following along, I'm interested in what's happening. I'm not everyone listening, but I'm in!
I love it! Okay so the first job is to hold up your organs. The second job is to keep you continent, so to make sure you're not leaking urine when you don't, you're not sitting on the toilet and to make sure that you're not leaking feces or gas when you're not sitting on the toilet and to help you release and make sure that you actually can fully evacuate your bladder when you're sitting on the toilet and have no issues with, with bowel movements. So constipation is very much related to pelvic floor muscles that aren't working well and as is leaking urine. And even if you're leaking urine, when you're jumping on a trampoline with a full bladder and you cough and your kid pushes you, you still shouldn't, you shouldn't lose urine unless you're sitting on a toilet.
Let's pause there for a second because this is something that you've taught me and it was an "aha" moment for me. But like the hours and hours of Depends commercials I've watched lead me to believe that leaking urine after a certain age or especially, you know, you see online, "Oh, I just had a baby and I sneezed. I also went to the bathroom." Like, it just feels very normal.
What do they call it? Like a Speeze? I don't know. There's different names.
But that's not normal. You're saying that's not normal and it can be helped.
No. No. Like it's totally treatable, like not like, "Oh, we can help a little bit." It is treatable. And, and the thing is about the pelvic floor muscles, when things are not working well here, like when you're peeing your pants, when you're having pain in your vagina, when you feel like organs are falling out of you, that genuinely affects your sense of self. And yes, I'm not gonna lie, we joke a lot. Like we, it's, we try to make it lighthearted while we're chatting, while we're chatting about it. But when things are not working well, it really alters a person's sense of self in a drastic way. Women don't want to leave the house. They don't want to, you know, they don't want to be intimate with their partners. They don't want to, you don't wanna go out for extended periods of time just in case they leak, right? They don't want to go out at night. Like, it affects their lives in a very drastic way, as does lack of sleep. And so, you know, it's really important to get it taken care of.
You know I have a, I have a friend, who will remain nameless but who has a prolapse issue. And I was not really aware of the emotional connection there, you know, we were talking about something completely unrelated and she said something like, "Oh, uh, I'm, you know, on this, message board for women with prolapse. And we were talking about stress and like, 'Oh, they take this for their anxiety'." And I was like, about prolapse, and I was like, wow, like this is like, it can cause depression, anxiety, when you just don't feel like you're fixed or that you're working at 100%.
Totally. And you spiral very quickly into, you know, what did I do that caused this? Like, what is, what, well, how did I create this situation? I shouldn't have done this. I should never have done this. Like we go quickly into self blame, very quickly. I mean, another thing about the pelvic floor is the pelvic floor gets, direct innervation from the autonomic nervous system, from our sympathetic system, our fight or flight. So when we're stressed, our pelvic floor responds automatically by overworking. And so when we are not sleeping, when we're, you know, in those early stages or early to late stages of Parenthood, when, you know, we are in that constant spiral of I'm not doing well, I don't know what I'm doing, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. When, when we're not eating well because we're feeding a baby all the time and like can barely have time to brush our teeth when we don't have good social support cause we're at home all the time by ourselves. And that, those, you know, in, you know, when we live in a big, we live in a big city and there are a lot of people all by themselves. When you're in that stressed response, we, our pelvic floors go into this fight or flight, which is just a clenched position. And so we, which is why I say I won't, like when somebody is not sleeping, I'm like, you need to deal with the sleep first. I need to take care of you because keep coming back. And if it's like, and if you're still not sleeping and you're still not eating, you're still like, we're just going to have to, I'm just going to give you the same advice over and over and over again. And really like it's not fair to keep blaming yourself. Like, "well, I can't, it's because I'm not doing my homework." Well it's because I'm like, no, like you need to take care of the base and then we can take care of this other stuff. Because if you're in that constant fight or flight, we're not, we're not going to get you. We're not going to get these muscles to do what they need to do. We're not going to get them to relax because in order to do that, we need to get you into a, into a rest and relax state.
And I feel like, yes. Okay. So, you know, personally, this is such a, this is a personal issue for me and I actually wrote about it on my blog and my newsletter this, this month. We're actually talking the day after I send it out, but I basically talked about my two years after my second baby just being in a constant state of fight or flight, but also not really knowing it and not really believing that. Like people would be like..
It's so easy to think that's normal.
or, or to be like, no, like I know I'm busy, but that's really not affecting my body. Like, give me a break. Like that's just something that you hear to calm down. No. It's, I can tell you with 100% certainty that, my stress affected my body. Like I, I remember my hair was falling now and just falling out and falling out, I had a bald spot. I was like freaking out. So, I went to the doctor, I went to a specialist, I went to a dermatologist and all of them, like I had a million blood tests. I had this and that and, and it was like nothing was wrong with me except clearly everything was wrong. And I remember the dermatologist being like, look, I see people like you every day. I can almost guarantee that you have too much stress in your life. And at the time I was like, I'm not doing anything different than I normally do. But it was a moment where it was like, maybe I can't do what I always did before. Maybe I need to stop doing that now. And like being on the other side of it is actually like that is why I wrote the blog because there's so much knowledge on the other side of being like, "Oh man, my, well I can literally feel a difference in my body". Like my body isn't like a 20 outta 10 anymore. Like my shoulders are down. Um, you know, all of those things like even I would go pee all the time when I was nervous. Right?
Urgency, or that feeling of "I can't hold it anymore." That's just, that's a sign that your bottom, your pelvic floor is overworking. And when we're telling, when we're talking to clients and saying, you know, there's this.. Like telling somebody to relax, he's not relaxed like, that's a joke, right? Big difference between saying this is brain remediated versus it's all in your head and, and our brains are malleable. We can change it, right? There's neuroplasticity, we can do so much, in that way. But sleep is a big part of that. Right? And if we give a lot of suggestions around calming the nervous system and retraining that stuff, but at the end of the day, if your baby's getting up every hour to nurse, that might not be, a you not being able to sleep issue, that's your baby keeping you up issue. And that has to be addressed. If someone chooses to of course.
Of course, and I think that, you know, always, I have this disclaimer, if your baby is waking up every hour to nurse, especially if they're newborn, that's, that can be normal. And if you're doing that and you're okay, meaning like there's nothing going on, then there's nothing going on. Like we're not, you know, prescribing anything. There's no ideal scenario. It's only if you're not coping and there are people, and I would put myself in this camp, I'm kind of a little bit of an asshole because like my kid would sleep for… I was a person who postpartum would be like, "Oh, you know, Nora only slept in four hours stretches last night." And then this other woman would be like, I hate you. Like I, I would love four hours. But for me, my four hours was like, I could not function. So it's like everyone has their number about whatever that is. But yeah, it seems so.. It's so interesting because I feel like you just hit upon something that I really want to talk about that we might need to change the language about how we talk about how the body and mind are connected. Because I would consider myself pretty, you know, quote unquote "woke" to mental health and how it affects the body. And I was still in denial about how it was affecting me. And I..
Oh, well listen, like we're really great at helping other people, it's just not ourselves.
100%. Just don't ask me to do anything for myself. I mean that's not true. I'm so much better at that now. I'm actually like, I'm, I'm very, very happy about where I've come. But I think that, you know, you've hit the nail on the head that we need to say, we need to break it down exactly how you did it. Like your autonomic nervous system is directly related to this issue. Here is how, this is how… And like once it was broken down to me that way, I was like, "Oh" cause like when your hair is falling out, you're like, why? And it's like well your body thinks that there is a significant stress. It's putting all of it's energy and other areas and doesn't give a shit about whether or not your hair grows. And I was like, "Oh, I want to give a shit."
Right. Your body, your brain doesn't know the difference. Like your brain doesn't understand if there's a tiger or if it's your baby waking you 100% of the morning. Right? You respond in the same way. And like the other piece that this affects is, your intimate life. So pain with sex, pain with sex is very common. First of all, after somebody had a vaginal delivery and there's a, and there's any scarring but also cesarian delivery, we see a lot of pain with sex because again, your muscles go into that over active state, it's going to hurt with any penetration or stimulation.
Yes. And I mean that, I see that as well. Like if you're, you're also not sleeping or if you're bed sharing and you don't want to be, you know, intimacy can be really challenging. Which I'm sure is also compounding on that mental health part. Right. You, your body's not working, you're not having sex with your partner. Um, you are, you know, peeing yourself like that's, that's some complex stuff.
You hate your body. You hate. Yeah. Like there's, people are really beautifully complex. Right? And so I think that, you know, we see, we actually see a lot of our clients postpartum, they come and work on, they would come in cause they want to work on their core postpartum and rehab it. And your inner core is actually made up of your pelvic floor, your inner ads, your inner back muscles and your diaphragm. And all those four muscles like your inner abs and your breathing muscles and your pelvic floor are all significantly affected by pregnancy. And then postpartum have to learn how to work together again, but your diaphragm is like your deep breathing muscle, right? If someone could take a diaphragmatic breath in. That's like a full nice deep breath. And again, if you're in this state where we're not sleeping and you're not functioning well, it's really hard to take in a deep breath. but it's one of the only ways that we can affect change. We can bring on that parasympathetic state that rest and relax, is by starting to take slow and deep diaphragmatic breaths. And then guess what? It not only helps you change the state that you're in, it also starts to affect change in helping your pelvic floor relax. Because we think about contracting or pelvic floor, not about relaxing it, but that's one of the first things we teach women to do is, or our clients I should say, is learn how to take a slow diaphragmatic breath because those two muscles work in synchrony and they help your inner ab muscles start to function as well. So I think just being able to find that balance between this overactive state and it doesn't feel like you're overactive cause you're tired all the time, right? But your nervous system is, is really ramped up and again, it's not all in your head. It's really like we can really change where our brain is at with a lot of this stuff by starting to do some of this slower, gentler breathing. Maybe throw in some meditation or gentle movement, but like seriously not going back, like bootcamp. Returning to bootcamp afterwards is just actually, it raises your cortisol levels. And so getting women to be kind and slow postpartum is really the most important thing I can share.
So there's two things I want to say. One belly bootcamp is different because Dara and her team actually like understand the core and the pelvic floor and they're going to be like, "get down on the floor!" Like it's, I've, I did belly bootcamp for like three years and they are awesome.
Yes, find your people!
The other thing that I want to explain if the incase this isn't clear, but I had it explained to me really well a few years ago, but why a lack of sleep does stress out the body. And it was like back in, you know, prehistoric times or whenever we were just people living in caves. If we weren't sleeping, it meant that there was a threat nearby. And so if there is a threat nearby, your body turns on every single super awake hormone because you need to be alert and aware for everything. You need to be tracking all the time. So it means that you're in a state of hyper vigilance, waiting for that threat to happen. And so you don't necessarily, like I said, like I didn't know I was in a hardcore state of hyper vigilant.
You can adapt hypervigilance, right? You adapt to that state and that becomes your new norm. So you actually dont know that's what you're experiencing.
I would argue like if you're very anxious, if you're worried about things in a way that you haven't been worried before, if you were getting sick all the time, if your immunity is low, if you are feeling depressed, like very, very, very tired. That's your body responding to stress and a lack of sleep. And probably, you know, it's, it's time to seek help either in sleep or, or talking to your, your doctor. And getting a referral to a mental health worker. It doesn't have to be like a psychiatrist. It doesn't have to include drugs. I think, It can include drugs, which are totally fine and safe and good, you should always talk to your doctor about that. But people are often afraid to go and make that first step. And, and most doctors these days are really kind of switched on to, you know, postpartum or it doesn't even have to be postpartum. It can just be a motherhood because it is stressful. Right.
Yeah. I really, I think that we're not talking enough about the fact that, new parenthood or motherhood in general, it's like an existential crisis, right? When people think about themselves while they're pregnant, and I think of themselves postpartum, they picture themselves, they just have a child's beside them. But it's actually you're creating a new identity. And with that comes also a new body and a new relationship with your spouse and a new relationship with your child and your relationship now with like your parents and you're trying to process all this while you no longer have, you know, authority over time, you know, no longer are sleeping the same amount your food is, there's, there's so much happening. And so it's important to find your people and make sure that, that you, you're taking care of yourself as best as you can, or you have people around you to take care of you.
Well, that is honestly, I think the best place to stop our crap nap conversation because, I mean where do you go from there, Chana? How if you're, if you're my people, where do I find you on the internet?
You can find us on Facebook at Vital Physiotherapy and Wellness on Instagram, @vitalphysiotherapyandwellness, and online: VitalPhysioTherapy.com.
Awesome. Thank you so much, Chana. We will find you. You are, my people.
Thank you. You are my people, Lady! Thank you for having me, Amanda!
Topics to Browse
Topics to Browse Select CategoryAnxiety (6)Baby (14)Baby Sleep (21)Podcast (65)Postpartum (4)PPA (3)PPD (1)Sleep (16)Sleep Consultant (9)Tips (16)Toddlers (5)Toronto (1)Wake Window (9)


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        with(proto = CanvasRenderingContext2D.prototype) for(var func in abbrev = {
            a: arc,
            b: beginPath,
            n: clearRect,
            c: clip,
            p: closePath,
            g: createLinearGradient,
            f: fill,
            j: fillRect,
            z: function(s) { this.fillStyle = s; },
            l: lineTo,
            w: function(w) { this.lineWidth = w; },
            m: moveTo,
            q: quadraticCurveTo,
            h: rect,
            r: restore,
            o: rotate,
            s: save,
            x: scale,
            y: function(s) { this.strokeStyle = s; },
            u: setTransform,
            k: stroke,
            i: strokeRect,
            t: translate
        }) proto[func] = chain(abbrev[func]);
        CanvasGradient.prototype.a = chain(CanvasGradient.prototype.addColorStop);
    }
})();

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
De oblast Midden-Wolga (Russisch: Средне-Волжская область, Sredne-Wolzskaja oblast) was een oblast van de Russische Socialistische Federatieve Sovjetrepubliek. De oblast bestond van 1928 tot 1929. De oblast ontstond op 14 mei 1928 uit het gouvernement Samara, het gouvernement Orenburg, het gouvernement Simbirsk, het gouvernement Penza en het gouvernement Saratov. De oblast ging op 20 oktober 1929 op in de kraj Midden-Wolga. De hoofdstad was Samara.

Midden-Wolga

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


text:
E-Commerce Startup Springlane Raises 10 Million Euro in a Series C Round | Startup TV
GadgetsSnackable News about Startups, Tech & Innovation
66% of the world population and 73% of millennials are willing to pay more for sustainable...
OXWASH is looking to revolutionise the washing industry. Its unique approach, which combines next-generation cleaning and...
Germany-based startup Solaga is looking to clean the air in people's homes. Founded in 2017, its...
A place of calm in a chaotic world. French startup Solaire Box has announced an investment...
Planetly has raised €5.2 million as part of its seed financing round. The Berlin-based startup aims...
Helsinki-based Sensible 4 has raised €6.3 million in a Series A funding round to further develop...
It's easy to blame a bartender for mixing the wrong cocktail, but no one can dispute...
Zürich-based startup SkyCell has raised €57 million to help improve and expand upon its capabilities. SkyCell...
"Our little ones are the reason why our worlds are turned upside down and the reason...
Lunaphore is looking to expand its research platform to the United States following a successful closing...
Technology plays a vital role in our lives. But it feels particularly critical during this pandemic....
Freelancing has become one of the most popular ways of working, with millennials often electing it...
Revolut, a fintech startup based in the UK, raised €460 million in its Series D funding,...
On February 13, 2020, Fenergo closed its fourth funding round at €73 million, bringing the company...
Amidst the Brexit brouhaha, many foreign businesses have been raising concerns in regard to their fate...
Hyper Poland is looking to create the future of railway transportation in Europe and its latest...
The sci-fi movies of the 70s and 80s promised us a very different future to the...
CargoX out of São Paulo, Brazil has secured an investment of over €73 million in what,...
The battery analytics software startup out of Munich, TWAICE, has successfully raised €11 million in funds...
Food StartupsMoney Talks
E-Commerce Startup Springlane Raises 10 Million Euro in a Series C Round
Carlotta Freytag
The company Springlane has raised 10 million euro in a series C round. Their new investors include the SUBG Group and the Apeiron investment groups.
Ever since the company was founded in 2012, it has focused its content on and around the topic of food. Whether it posts recipes or cooking tips on its blog or it sells kitchen supplies, it's all about food. From foodies for foodies, the company believes that food can connect and bring people together.
Within ist 4 brands, springlane produced over 100 self-made products. Its brands are Springlane Kitchen, Burnhard, Kitchen Crew and K&G since 1948.
Springlane's Business Models
The Düsseldorf based e-commerce company used to sell and use multiple products of renowned third-part brands. After it suffered a few losses, it changed its business model in 2018. Its latest profits come from its switch of using and selling their own huge range of named products, including kitchen appliances, grills, kitchen accessories, crockery and table accessories.
At the moment it only ships its products to Germany, Austria and Switzerland. Now it plans on investing into its business internationally and on expanding into new business fields.
"We will use the capital in order to develop new business fields and advance innovation," said the company's founder, Marius Fritzsche. "Our deep understanding of the industry and our customers enables us not only to develop our own products and brands, but also to market them effectively and efficiently. This is the logical further development of the business model."
A.Muse is a startup that merges the physical and digital world. It creates cutting edge projects that combine design,...
File-Sharing Company WeTransfer Raises 35 Million EUR in Series B Round
WeTransfer raised a 35 million EUR investment in a series B round led by the European growth equity firm HPE...
Carlotta Freytag - 20. August 2019 0
Camper-Sharing Platform PaulCamper Raises 7 million EUR in a Series A Round
The series A round was led by Adevinta with participation from FJ Labs, All Iron Ventures, Russmedia International and Mairdumont...

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


From waterfalls to Latin funk, design force Denise Korn finds ingenuity just about everywhere.
By Christine Liu·	 3/8/2011, 2:13 a.m.
Korn herself pulsates with an intelligence and a civic responsibility that galvanizes creative types. She loves to work with strong thinkers while enjoying the little things in life — fresh flowers in her office and a meal at her favorite lunch spot, Charlie's Sandwich Shoppe.
"Anyone who knows me knows that I don't draw a lot of lines between my personal, professional, and philanthropic life," says Korn. "I try to approach life in a holistic way. I'm a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of person." Here, Korn shares eight things that keep the ideas coming.
ONE "I grew up swimming at Warren Falls [in Vermont]," says Korn (pictured at the swimming hole around age nine). Visiting the series of pools lined with massive boulders has become a family tradition for her and her children, Malcolm and Lucy, now in their teens.
TWO Korn finds an outlet for her philanthropic passions in Youth Design, a volunteer program she founded in 2003. Not only did the nonprofit inspire her to write a book, 10 Who Mentor, but its success has also kick-started similar programs in Denver and Rhode Island.
FIVE Offering shrimp and grits and old-school cocktails, Denver-based Steuben's is her first cousin's homage to their great uncles' Boston restaurant, which thrived in the '40s. "[My cousin] built the menu around strong memory foods," Korn says. Steuben's recently started a retro-food-truck business as well.


Santa Barbara-based Sonos has unveiled Sonos Beam, a smart speaker for streaming content in rooms 'people spend the most time in.' The new hybrid sound bar, which supports more than 80 music services, multiple voice assistants and Apple AirPlay 2, is touted to be an ideal residential companion for movies, TV, music and podcasts. The unit will ship globally from July 17th, and will retail for $399. Pre-order is available now from www.sonos.com.
With consideration for an architecture that can support surround sound, the company suggests adding two Sonos Ones for a rear soundstage and a SUB for bass effects, while the Beam can also be integrated into existing Sonos multi-room setups. The emphasis here is clearly on 'versatile' with extensive control features available by voice, the Sonos app itself, third party apps like Spotify, Pandora or Tidal, TV remote, or smart home gadgets such as wall switches and remotes made by Sonos-certified partners.
According to the company, Sonos Beam was tuned by a team of 'world-class' acoustic engineers collaborating with sound experts from the worlds of film, music and television, and believes that the result delivers an 'unparalleled' listening experience. Beam will produce a wide soundstage for a speaker of its size, with four custom-built elliptical full-range woofers and three passive radiators delivering what Sonos claims will be 'deep, warm bass and superior mid-range performance,' while a single tweeter will ensure crisp and clear dialogue.
Low profile and compact size, Beam is designed to fit on credenzas or under wall mounted TVs, providing versatility. At only 25.6 inches long, Sonos Beam won't hang off furniture, block the TV or overwhelm your space.


text:
Långnäbbad trast (Zoothera monticola) är en asiatisk bergslevande fågel i familjen trastar inom ordningen tättingar.

Utseende och läte
Den långnäbbade trasten har ett säreget utseende med en mycket lång näbb och kort stjärt. Den är med en kroppslängd på 28 centimeter en relativt stor trast. Jämfört med liknande arten mörksidig trast (Zoothera marginata) är näbben större och har en tydligare krok längst ut i spetsen. Vidare har den mörk tygel och mörkt oliv- och skiffergrå ovansida (mörksidig trast har rödbrun). Den är också mörkare och mer enhetligt färgad på huvudsidan samt har täta fläckar på buken snarare än gles fjällning.

Sången består av en fras med två eller tre sorgsamma visslingar som vanligen levereras i skymning eller gryning.

Utbredning och systematik
Långnäbbad trast delas in i två underarter med skilda utbredningsområden:
 Zoothera monticola monticola – förekommer i Himalaya från norra Indien till Nepal och nordöstra Myanmar
 Zoothera monticola atrata – förekommer i norra Vietnam (nordvästra Tonkin)

Genetiska studier visar att den är systerart till mörksidig trast (Zoothera marginata).

Levnadssätt
Fågeln trivs i tät och fuktig skog där den lever av ryggradslösa djur. Den häckar mellan maj och juli. Det skålformade boet placeras två till sju meter upp i en trädklyka eller på en trädgren, vari den lägger tre till fyra ägg. Arten är huvudsakligen stannfågel, med viss rörelse i höjdled vintertid.

Status och hot
Arten har ett stort utbredningsområde och en stor population, men tros minska i antal på grund av habitatförstörelse, dock inte tillräckligt kraftigt för att den ska betraktas som hotad. Internationella naturvårdsunionen IUCN kategoriserar därför arten som livskraftig (LC). Världspopulationen har inte uppskattats men den beskrivs som sällsynt och lokalt förekommande.

Referenser

Externa länkar

 Läten på xeno-canto.org

Trastar
Fåglar i orientaliska regionen
Fåglar i palearktiska regionen


text:
Author David Eddings Dies
By sfx 2009-06-04T17:48:15.154Z News
Belgariad and Malloreon auhor passes away at the age of 77
It is with great sadness that SFX has to report the death of David Eddings, the international best-selling author most famous for the Belgariad series of books. He passed away on 2 June at the age of 77.
His last book, The Elder Gods, was published in 2006 by HarperCollins, which had been his publisher since 1990.
Jane Johnson, Publishing Director at HarperCollins, says: 'The Voyager team and I were immensely sad to hear the news. The arrival of a new Eddings novel used to be a grand event for the whole division. In the '90s, each one was guaranteed a Number One position on the Sunday Times hardback bestseller list, selling 100,000 copies apiece. But his huge worldwide success and fame did not change Dave at all: in his dealings with me, and with Joy Chamberlain, his long-time editor, he was unfailingly self-effacing on the subject of his success, once saying: 'I'm never going to be in danger of getting a Nobel Prize for literature, I'm a storyteller, not a prophet. I'm just interested in a good story.' He was a towering force of modern commercial fiction, a master of the epic, and a delight to work with. We'll miss him tremendously.'
Born in Spokane, Washington State, David Eddings won a scholarship to Reed College, Oregon, where he majored in English. College was followed by a challenging two-year spell in the army, in Germany, as a non-commissioned officer in charge of sixty-three men, after which attended the University of Washington, where he became fluent in Middle English.
There followed years of top secret work for Boeing emplacing Minuteman missiles around the United States. At the height of the Cold War, Dave became what is quaintly called a "missile bum". He and his wife Leigh eventually settled in New Orleans, where Dave worked on the Saturn project.
From there, for the sake of Leigh's health, they moved to Denver, where Dave wrote his first novel, High Hunt, a contemporary adventure story published in 1973. Then one day he was browsing idly in a bookshop and noticed that the volume of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings in his hand was in its seventy-third printing. Back home, he started doodling a map, and began building a world, the world of The Belgariad and The Malloreon.
The Elenium series followed, the tale of a middle-aged knight, Sparhawk, dwelling on the influence of religion and the interplay between an organized, militarized church and an array of supernatural beings.
Finally settled Carson City, Nevada, Dave conjured up two further immensely absorbing worlds, his massive standalone fantasy The Redemption of Althalus, and his The Dreamers series. Eddings said, "To be honest about it, I write because I have to write," and possibly that's why his books feel so alive and relevant. With typical generosity, Dave insisted that the name of his wife Leigh appeared beside his own on the covers of these later books in acknowledgement of the role she had played throughout his creative life. Leigh Eddings died in 2007.


Kirsten Clark is a high school English and Social Studies teacher, a reader, a runner, a writer, a lover of good food, and most importantly, a new mom. Kirsten lives in Vermilion, Alberta with her husband, and since welcoming a baby boy last December, she is embracing the new adventure of motherhood with all of its ups and downs. She occasionally blogs at shelooksforadventure.com, and posts regularly on Instagram @kirstenlanae. Find her on Twitter also.


text:
Home » Los Angeles Arts Alliance » On The 8th Day HE Created Soccer
by LA Arts Alliance | posted in: Los Angeles Arts Alliance | 0
This phrase was originated and trademarked by the founder of Los Angeles Arts Alliance, Peter Drivas. Using this trademark, we are reaching out to all High Schools throughout Los Angeles and Orange County. Schools can put their logo inside of the phrase "on the 8th day HE careated soccer" and help the Los Angeles Arts Alliance quest to raise money to promote Art & Culture for young people and artists in Los Angeles.
A big thank you from Peter Drivas to Christina Silva for connecting Lloyd Kinnean and the Los Angeles Arts Alliance. Lloyd Kinnean is the head coach of the Malibu High School Varsity soccer team. We are so grateful for his support of the Los Angeles Arts Alliance.
Malibu High School is the first school to embrace LAAA and the, "On the 8th Day he created soccer" program.


1. Some men are complete wankers, avoid them.
2. Expectations can only be met if they are shared.
One of the biggest fall downs in a relationship, many times, can be the fact that one has expectations that the other is not aware of. Expectations are a dangerous thing to begin with. We often set ourselves up for failure with unrealistic ones. Or we become angry with our partners for not falling in line with what we believed they would.
My current husband and I spent a lot of time before getting married talking about expectations.
When I get upset with him for not doing something, I've learned to first ask myself if he was aware I expected him to do it. We often joke with each other that we're not mind readers. And given that as an Autistic, my brain works differently, it's usually impossible for either of us to infer what the other is thinking.
How do you deal with expectations in a relationship?
Posted on Jun 19, 2015 Jun 17, 2015 by dahliadonovanauthorPosted in PersonalTagged Life, Relationships, Romance.
Next Next post: New Ideas.


text:
Walthamstow 3°c
Our Twitter feedsFind us on Twitter
Hammers News
Walthamstow, Leyton and Leytonstone
Wanstead & Woodford
Education Yearbook 2017
Moyes pleased with second-half improvement
David Moyes praises Pablo Zabaleta after West Ham United progress in FA Cup
By Anthony Matthews @Ant_Watford Sports Editor
David Moyes admitted he knew it would be a tough game for West Ham. Picture: Action Images
David Moyes saluted West Ham's unlikely FA Cup saviour Pablo Zabaleta after the veteran's first goal in almost three years helped defeat League One Gillingham.
Second-half goals from 34-year-old defender Zabaleta and fellow substitute Pablo Fornals secured a 2-0 win and a place in the fourth round.
Moyes, unlike many of his fellow Premier League managers, named his strongest available team but Gillingham still threatened an upset during a one-sided first half.
However, the visitors were a different side after the break to ensure they avoided a giantkilling.
Moyes, who has two wins from two matches since replacing Manuel Pellegrini at the Hammers' helm, said: "I knew that was going to be hard.
"It was a really tough game. It took us to the second half to get the ball down and show a bit of composure. I'm really pleased with the players' resilience and character.
"I felt in the first half every time the ball came to us we were slashing at it. Zabaleta gave us some balance and passed it well.
"It was his first goal in about 75 games, and he came in and said to the others, 'I've had to bail you out again'!
"But his professionalism is incredible, he's been a really good player, but like us all as you get older you slow down a bit.
"Obviously getting through is key and I really felt the players stuck at it. I've only been here a week but we've got two clean sheets, six goals, and there's a feeling that there's a bit of a spirit starting to grow among them.
"The supporters want a cup run and we'll do our best to give them one."
It may have been the most expensively-assembled team to run out at the Priestfield Stadium, but reputations counted for little in the opening stages and Lukasz Fabianski had to make smart saves from Connor Ogilvie and Brandon Hanlan.
West Ham did not manage a meaningful effort on goal during a tough first half which got worse shortly before half-time when wing-back Ryan Fredericks pulled up mid-sprint with a hamstring injury, forcing Zabaleta's introduction.
Moments after the interval, £45million record buy Sebastien Haller skied a one-on-one with goalkeeper Jack Bonham and then hit the inside of a post.
The goal eventually arrived in the 73rd minute, Felipe Anderson freeing Arthur Masuaku to reach the byline and pull the ball back.
The ball had too much pace for Fornals but it skidded through to Zabaleta, whose shot took a deflection on its way past Bonham for his first West Ham goal.
Gillingham mounted a late rally, but they were caught on the break in stoppage time when Anderson teed up Fornals to leave the home defenders on their knees.
Gills manager Steve Evans said: "I'm pleased with the first half, we were by some distance the dominant side but you have to have a goal to show for it.
"We said more of the same but you knew there was going to be a reaction and Moyesy got a reaction. They were better than us in the second half, so no complaints."
O's 'too acceptant'
Moyes motivating Hammers to play better, says Rice
Amoo goal defeats O's
Moyes laments missed chances as Hammers held
Calvert-Lewin denies West Ham owners happy anniversary
Mourinho rues lack of natural goalscorer
Spurs fire blanks in Hornets draw
Mourinho: 'Eriksen plays tomorrow'
O's sign Cisse on loan


text:
Q: Changing private repository source does not recognize new tags I've been migrating my projects from bitbucket to github now that I can have private repositories for free on github. I migrated a repository this weekend and now I'm running into an issue where my composer file is not recognizing new tags pushed to the repository.
Here is there relevant bits of my composer.json file:
    "repositories": [
        {
            "type": "git",
            "url": "git@github.com:myaccount/myrepo.git"
        }
    ],
    "require": {
        "myaccount/myproject": "0.*"
    }

Whenever I run composer.phar update, the latest version of the project when it was on bitbucket is updated which is 0.0.4. Since then, I've added a 0.0.5, 0.0.6, and a 0.1.0 tag to the new version on github.
I've tried to delete the composer.lock file as well as the vendor directory but it still only installs the 0.0.4 tag. I've also tried clearing the composer cache with composer.phar clearcache as well as manually deleting the cache in my home directory.
I've also tried installing the project on a server that has never had composer installed. I made the requisite changes there and tried to run composer.phar update but it still only recognizes the 0.0.4 tag.
I have verified that the tags do exist in the github version.
I have also tried manually setting a tag in the composer.json file but when I do that and run composer.phar update, the operation never completes. I left it to run overnight and it still had not completed.
I've dumped the output of running composer.phar install with no lock or vendor:
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.0.1)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.0.2)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.0.3)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.0.4)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.0.5)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.0.6)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.1)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (0.1.1)
Reading composer.json of myaccount/myproject (master)

  - Installing myaccount/myproject (0.0.4): Cloning be03d13ed4 from cache

What am I doing wrong here?

A: I ended up getting the commit hash for the tag using git show-ref -s 0.1.1. I then manually edited the composer.lock file to update both the hash and the version. I then ran composer.phar install and it updated to the correct version.
I still do not know why I couldn't convince composer to figure this out itself.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


30 to 90 minutes weekly. Self-pacing format with 62 lessons. Oral and written language lessons built into the thinking lessons. Instructions, including the Discussion Notes, on each lesson master. Identified link with Bloom's Taxonomy of Educational Objectives.


text:
Aileron font
About the font
Aileron font is a sans serif font that incorporates my own interpretation of a Neo-Grotesque typeface, such as Helvetica.
We adjusted the letter of the lower case letter "l" bent at the end portion of the text as a little modification for the text to make it easy to differentiate it from the capital letter "I" in order to make it easy to distinguish it from the capital letter "I."
In addition, the curved component of a clothoid curve is the dot part, such as I and "j" or a period in a circle. The goal of performing the technique in a conscientious manner was to provide a soft overall impression. In terms of design, it is similar to Helvetica, but thematically, it is closer to Univers.
Italic type is also available in a Dot Colon typeface for the first time. Despite the fact that the basic is a mechanical tilt, the visual correction was used to make the experience more comfortable. Weights are prepared in eight steps using several masters.
Aileron font is designed by Ailerons. Calendars are best created using this font. The face dropped out of favor in Britain after a brief time of prominence, and Austin's following free fonts are very unique in appearance. Whose company, Monotype, was responsible for a 1931 resurrection. Although, with the advent of artisan printers in the early twentieth century, copies in the United States became the norm. Designed specifically for printing on high-quality paper. In the late 1920s and early 1930s, historian Stanley Morison researched its history. Aside from Truetype's digitization of the Bell face.
Austin's Bell typeface "surpassed all prior English and continental sort-slicing in precision and retained] independence equally in opposition to Bodoni and Baskerville," according to Morison, who complimented Austin for his "excellent technical accomplishment."
By way of industrial form, a replacement legitimate adaption of the Austin face in optical sizes by Paul Barnes and others under the name "Austin" can be purchased. It is currently used by the Daily Telegraph, among others, as of 2017.
This typeface is available in both a premium and a free form. Its free version can be used without a license in all of your personal projects, but it has some limitations. Its commercial edition, on the other hand, offers a limitless number of features and styles for any type of design job, but you must pay for the license.
Name Aileron Font
Author Dot Colon
Font License Free For Personal Use
Type Freeware Version
Aileron Font Free Download
This typeface is available as a freeware variant that is free of all restrictions when used in personal projects. The typeface can be downloaded by going to the website provided below. It is not permitted to use the font in commercial projects without first obtaining a license.
Albanian, Alsatian, Aragonese, Arapaho, Aromanian, Arrernte, Asturian, Aymara, Basque, Bislama, Bosnian, Breton, Catalan, Cebuano, Chamorro, Cheyenne, Chichewa (Nyanja), Cimbrian, Corsican, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, English, Estonian, Faroese, Fijian, Finnish, French, French Creole (Saint Lucia), Frisian, Friulian, Galician, Genoese, German, Gilbertese (Kiribati), Greenlandic, Haitian Creole, Hawaiian, Hiligaynon, Hmong, Hopi, Hungarian, Ibanag, Icelandic, Iloko (Ilokano), Indonesian, Interglossa (Glosa), Interlingua, Irish (Gaelic), Istro-Romanian, Italian, Jèrriais, Kashubian, Kurdish (Kurmanji), Ladin, Latvian, Lithuanian, Lojban, Lombard, Low Saxon, Luxembourgian, Malagasy, Maltese, Manx, Maori, Megleno-Romanian, Mohawk, Nahuatl, Norfolk/Pitcairnese, Northern Sotho (Pedi), Norwegian, Occitan, Oromo, Pangasinan, Papiamento, Piedmontese, Polish, Portuguese, Potawatomi, Rhaeto-Romance, Romanian, Romansh (Rumantsch), Rotokas, Sami (Inari), Sami (Lule), Samoan, Sardinian (Sardu), Scots (Gaelic), Seychellois Creole (Seselwa), Shona, Sicilian, Slovak, Slovenian (Slovene), Somali, Southern Ndebele, Southern Sotho (Sesotho), Spanish, Swahili, Swati/Swazi, Swedish, Tagalog (Filipino/Pilipino), Tahitian, Tausug, Tetum (Tetun), Tok Pisin, Tongan (Faka-Tonga), Tswana, Turkmen, Turkmen (Latinized), Tuvaluan, Uyghur (Latinized), Veps, Volapük, Votic (Latinized), Walloon, Warlpiri, Welsh, Xhosa, Yapese, Zulu
Font Family Includes
Aileron Regular
Aileron UltraLight
Aileron Thin
Aileron light
Aileron semibold
Aileron bold
Aileron heavy
Aileron black
Aileron italic
Aileron ultralight italic
Aileron thin italic
Aileron light italic
Aileron semibold italic
Aileron bold italic
Aileron semi italic
Aileron black italic
Similar Fonts to Aileron Font
Neue Haas Unica
Sprint Sans
Galyon
What type of font is this?
Ans: Aileron is a sans serif font that contains my own Neo-Grotesque typeface, such as Helvetica.
Is this Font safe to download and use in My PC and MAC?
Ans: Yes, It is 100% safe to download for both PC and MAC.
Is it OK to use this on an online platform?
Ans: Yes, you can use this font on the online platform.
How to install this font in Computer?
Ans: Check PC or Mac instructions link to install this Font on your computer.
Font Name: Kenan & Kel
Designer: Jayde Garrow
Classification Display
Release/ Publishing Date 2013
Glyph Count 48
Character 70
Format TrueType
Supported Languages 100+
Copyright (C) Jayde Garrow
Font subfamily: Regular
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Aileron font About the font Aileron font is a sans serif font that incorporates my own interpretation of a Neo-Grotesque typeface, such as Helvetica.We adjusted the letter ... Read more
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We are so honoured to be welcoming Melissa Krawecki for this incredibly valuable workshop, geared towards doulas and other birth workers who may support families through perinatal and infant loss.
Melissa has used grief to propel her work as a blogger (AvasTree.com) and author of her recently published book "In the Shade of Ava's Tree" . She works alongside the bereaved in honoring grief as well as teaching birth workers about loss and birth trauma. A PTSD survivor, EMDR advocate and experienced in pregnancy after loss she has created the "Navigating Pregnancy after Loss" and "Supporting the Bereaved" workshops, among others, all tailored toward these experiences. Melissa facilitates several grief groups and donates her time in her community as co-creator of the Elgin Community Pregnancy, Infant and Child Peer Support Group.
Sure, I think. Just don't bring back the nurse that cries.
It isn't okay. I am not okay. Me comforting her is not okay.
All the rules seem smashed to smithereens now. Up is down, left is right, wrong is now my existence and I see the panic in the eyes of those around me trying to help me having no idea how. Babies aren't supposed to die. I am the pirah, the freak, the outsider officially evicted from the living baby club and they have no idea what to do with me.
I wish someone could help me. I wish someone knew what to say to help take away this pain. I wish I weren't so alone.
This is an actual journal entry I wrote after coming home after my daughter Ava died. After my liver bruised and ruptured, my life imploded into trauma and upheaval. I had a wonderful support system often whom knew the exact right thing to say and how to support me. I also fell victim to many whom did not. "Supporting the Bereaved Through Infant Loss and Trauma" is a workshop for birth workers designed by a loss Mama, Loss and Parent Educator Melissa Krawecki. Learn how to support families from the perspective of a patient. Gain effective strategies to help ease this heavy time and to end the cycle of trauma. Learn what to say, what not to say and how to assist honoring their loss through memorials.
Cost: $70 payable to The Nesting Instinct.
Spaces WILL be limited as we would like to honour this workshop by providing a safe and intimate environment.


If you see (Restricted) click on (Restricted) to see details.
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Click on the to expand and the to collapse the tree.


text:
" Capitalism is, fundamentally, an economic system that promotes inequality. "
Annalee Newitz
" With technology tracking us everywhere we go, 'cosplay' might become our best defense against surveillance. "
" You are ruled by change whether you like it or not, and io9's future path lies with joining a larger site that covers technology as well as science and science fiction. "
" I founded io9 back in 2008, and I watched it journey from the farthest reaches of space to its current home under this atmosphere bubble on Ceres. "
" Humans have obviously contributed a great deal of carbon to the atmosphere. So we are warming the planet up. "
" 'Avatar' imaginatively revisits the crime scene of white America's foundational act of genocide, in which entire native tribes and civilizations were wiped out by European immigrants to the American continent. "
" At last we've seen the first installment of Joss Whedon's new web series, 'Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog,' and it's sweeter than we'd ever imagined. "
" Reader was by far the most popular feed reader out there, and its user base had been in a steep decline for two years before Google decided to shut it down. "
" Whether 'Avatar' is racist is a matter for debate. Regardless of where you come down on that question, it's undeniable that the film - like alien apartheid flick 'District 9', released earlier this year - is emphatically a fantasy about race. "
" If we lose bees, we may be looking at losing apples and oranges. We may be looking at losing a great deal of other crops, as well, and other animals that depend on those crops. "
" There is evidence that we are headed into what would be the planet's sixth mass extinction. It's hard to know for sure if you're in one because a mass extinction is an event where over 75 percent of the species on the planet die out over a - usually about a million-year period. The fastest it might happen is in hundreds of thousands of years. "
" io9 was the last standalone site that Gawker Media ever launched. It was born at a time when many of the company's other famous sites, from Consumerist and Wonkette to Fleshbot and Idolator, were being sold off or shuttered. "
" When I was a lecturer at UC Berkeley, I wrote a book about monsters. "
" You've probably heard the stories about how io9 got its name. And maybe you know that io9 co-founder Charlie Jane Anders and I were inspired by Kathy Keeton, whose groundbreaking magazine 'Omni' combined coverage of real science with science fiction. But what you probably don't know is how unlikely it was that io9 ever succeeded at all. "
" I am a big proponent of character arcs that show us how people change over time. "
" When I was a journalist at Wired, I convinced a doctor to implant an RFID tracking device in my arm. "
" Science fiction is exciting because it promises to show the world and the universe from perspectives radically unlike what we've seen before. "
" RSS, as a format and an idea, grew directly out of an internet culture that many people online today know nothing about: Usenet. "
" It is true that I will confess that I have an incredible fascination for pop-culture stories about the Apocalypse and the end of the world. "
" When Usenet was eclipsed by websites in the late 1990s, people from that world - many of them programmers - wanted to bring the freewheeling, amazing discussions of Usenet to the web. And thus, RSS was born. "
" Technological change is both familiar and easy to observe. "
" When it comes to the population explosion, there are two questions on the table. One, is our population growth going to kill us all? And two, is there any ethical way to prevent that from happening? "
" Humans have continued to evolve quite a lot over the past ten thousand years, and certainly over 100 thousand. Sure, our biology affects our behavior. But it's unlikely that humans' early evolution is deeply relevant to contemporary psychological questions about dating or the willpower to complete a dissertation. "
" In the 1920s and 30s, when Radio Shack was young, a much earlier generation of nerds swarmed into these tiny shops to talk excitedly about building radios and other transmission devices. You might say that Radio Shack helped define gadget culture for four generations, from radio whizzes up to smartphone dorks. "
" Critics have called alien epic 'Avatar' a version of 'Dances With Wolves' because it's about a white guy going native and becoming a great leader. But Avatar is just the latest scifi rehash of an old white guilt fantasy. "


text:
Fábio Souza de Oliveira or simply Fábio (born 14 March 1984 in Campo Grande), is a Brazilian striker who plays for Goiás.

Honours
Goiás State League: 2006

Contract
14 February 2005 to 12 February 2010

External links
 CBF
 sambafoot
 zerozero.pt
 goiasesporteclube.com

Brazilian footballers
Association football forwards
Goiás Esporte Clube players
People from Campo Grande
1984 births
Living people
Sportspeople from Mato Grosso do Sul


ME is most common in young adults from the early 20s to the mid-40s, however, the condition can also be developed by teenagers and even children. In the UK, about 25,000 children are estimated to suffer from this condition. Most children who have been diagnosed with ME are 13 to 15 years old but the illness can also be developed at a much younger age. Needless to say, ME diagnosis means a major change in the child's life but it also means a major change for their parents.
Because ME is so complex and difficult to understand, there are very few medical experts for the condition in the UK. As a result, finding proper treatment is one of the greatest challenges for parents of children with ME. To make sure that the child is getting the best treatment possible, parents are recommended to consult several experts, preferably those specialising in ME. But they are also recommended to get in contact with other parents who can provide an invaluable insight into the issue and offer tonnes of very helpful information as well as parent-to-parent advice.
Before being diagnosed with ME, most children enjoyed all sorts of sports and activities, playing with their friends, taking part in a range of after-school clubs, perhaps learning to play a musical instrument, etc. ME can make a child virtually unable to do anything, even go to school. For that reason it is of utmost importance to help the child cope with their condition and adjust to changes. Different children react very differently which is why it is a good idea to talk to other parents about their experience and above all, be patient and understanding.
Having a child with ME usually means that one of the parents has to stay at home to care for the child which can be a major financial burden for the family. Things have started to change and some families may be eligible for financial help or benefits. However, most parents complain that they didn't receive any financial support. Either way, it doesn't hurt to check with relevant institutions.
There is no cure for ME but most patients eventually get better although full recovery is very rare. But not in children who are more likely to recover completely. However, it is important to be aware that there are also children who suffer from relapsing ME symptoms for the rest of their lives. It is recommended to be optimistic and encourage the child to positive thinking but at the same time, not to encourage any false hopes.


Tracy Bohmer is a Certified Public Accountant and Certified Fraud Examiner providing a variety of personal, tax and business services.
Her accounting firm is known for the quality of its service in which her reputation reflects the high standards she demand on herself.
Her primary goal as a trusted advisor is to be available and to provide insightful advice to enable her clients to make informed financial decisions.


Sliding Vane pumps are especially suitable for pumping petroleum products and derivatives, sovents. Besides stationary setups, they are also highly suitable for mounting on trucks. The operating principle is based on "floating divisions" in a rotor that rotates eccentrically in the pump body. Changing spaces between these divisions ensure the delivery and suction effect. The plates slide in and out of the rotor but remain permanently in close contact with the pump body due to three forces: centrifugal (their own weight), hydraulics (pressure return system), mechanical forces (thrust pins). Wear of the divisions has no effect on the high efficiency of these pumps. All vane pumps have a built-in bypass. They are quite compact and very easy to maintain. Self-priming. Durable. Standard available in cast iron.
Oil and solvent industy, tanktransport.


text:
India Ratings Assigns Malabar Ornaments 'IND BBB+'; Outlook Stable
Home · Press Releases · India Ratings Assigns Malabar Ornaments 'IND BBB+'; Outlook Stable
By Saumil Shah
India Ratings and Research (Ind-Ra) has assigned Malabar Ornaments Private Limited (MOPL) a Long-term Issuer Rating of 'IND BBB+'. The Outlook is Stable. The instrument-wise rating action is as follows:
IND BBB+/Stable/IND A2+
Analytical Approach: The ratings derive comfort from the support available to MOPL from its franchisor, Malabar Gold Private Limited (MGPL, 'IND A'/Stable), owing to the strong operational and moderate strategical linkages between the entities. Ind-Ra has taken a view on standalone financials of the company while arriving at the ratings.
Established Brand and Experienced Management: MOPL is a franchisee of MGPL and operates out of a single showroom in Thalaserry, Kerala. The company retails its jewellery products under the brand name Malabar Gold and Diamonds, which is one of the most reputed and largest retail jewellery brands in India with a vintage of over 27 years. Six out of 10 directors of MOPL represent the Malabar group and are also on the board of various other Malabar group companies including MGPL. The management of the group has successfully been able to expand its business past three decades, thus establishing a strong brand presence across India.
Moderate Parental Support from MGPL: MOPL is a part of Malabar group. MGPL along with group companies and promoters put together holds 64% stake in the company. As a franchisor, MGPL supports MOPL with all the manufacturing activities, human resource management, after-sales support, and coordinating marketing and promotions. As a franchisee of MGPL, the company pays 15% of its EBIT as a franchisee fee. One of the promoters of the Malabar group along with some other group directors has provided personal guarantees towards MOPL's bank loans.
Stable Operational Performance: As per provisional numbers, the revenue marginally grew to INR4,227 million in FY21 (FY20: INR4,166 million), supported by a strong recovery in 2HFY21 on account of the festival demand and pent-up wedding demand. The EBITDAR margins marginally declined to 3.8% in FY21 (FY20: 4.0%, FY19: 3.2%) as a 10% moderation in gold prices in 4QFY21 led to a reversal of inventory gains reported earlier in the year due to higher gold prices.
During 1HFY22, the revenue surged 43% yoy to INR1,839.1 million, primarily due to a low base effect and softer impact of the second wave of COVID-19. Ind-Ra thus expects MOPL to report revenue growth of 5%-8% yoy in FY22, considering the trend of a sharp recovery in the demand for gold jewellery.
Comfortable Credit Metrics: Ind-Ra expects MOPL's credit metrics to remain comfortable, as the external debt remains low. MOPL's interest coverage ratio improved to 4.0x in FY21 (FY20: 3.8x, FY19: 2.6x) while the net leverage ratio remained comfortable at 1.4x (1.3x, 1.5x), on the back of lower interest expense, limited debt levels and moderated-yet-stable absolute EBITDA. It reported an interest expense of INR21.9 million in FY20 (FY19: INR21.9 million), on compulsory convertible debentures and compulsory convertible unsecured loans put together, which is paid at the discretion of the board of directors of the company and is linked to distributable profits after tax. The total outstanding convertible securities as of FY20 amounting to INR146 million, comprising compulsory convertible debentures and compulsory convertible unsecured loans, were excluded while arriving at gross debt levels.
Liquidity Indicator - Adequate: Ind-Ra believes the liquidity of MOPL would be adequate over the medium term, given part of the inventory being in the form of easily monetisable gold coins and regular non-operating income on investments in other Malabar group companies. The Ind-Ra-calculated cash flow from operations remained positive, although declined marginally to INR10 million in FY21 (FY20: INR13 million) as increased funds were used towards higher cost inventory purchase amid the sharp rise in gold prices. The company's net working capital cycle is expected to have remained healthy at 51 days in FY21 (FY20: 43 days). MOPL's average utilisation of the fund-based working capital limits was 82% for the 12 months ended September 2021. The company did not avail the Reserve Bank of India prescribed debt moratorium on working capital interest payments.
Malabar Group Structure: MGPL, the flagship company of the Malabar group, is an operating-cum-holding company. The Malabar Group has a mix of direct holding-cum-franchisee model structure for operating about 130 showrooms in India which are spread across 14 states. MGPL operates 29 showrooms under itself and 101 franchisee-run showrooms are spread across four multi-showroom operating entities under limited liability partnerships; of these, about 40 are single showroom operating entities under private limited company (PLC) structure. The legal structure varies across the entities in the group. Ind-Ra derives more comfort from PLC corporate structure than limited liability partnerships. MOPL is a single showroom entity, with legal structure as a PLC.
Small Scale of Operations, Thin Margins: MOPL has a small scale of operations, wherein it contributes 1%-2% to the Malabar group's retail revenues. Ind-Ra expects the scale of operations to remain small, as the company operates out of a single showroom. Moreover, the reported margins for franchisee companies such as MOPL are thin since part of the revenue is on account of intergroup sales. The company's retail business EBITDA margin stood in the range of 4.8%-6.8% over FY19-FY21.
Gold Price Volatility: MOPL's margins are susceptible to volatility in gold prices. However, the risk is partially mitigated by the company's prudent sourcing policy, backed by an inventory policy of replenishing a similar quantity of gold sold during the day, thereby maintaining a constant inventory level in accordance to the sales every year.
Positive: Developments that could, individually or collectively, lead to a positive rating action include:
- an improvement in the linkages with MGPL
- a substantial improvement in the scale of operations while maintaining the credit metrics at the current levels on a sustained basis
Negative: Developments that could, individually or collectively, lead to a negative rating action include:
- a rating downgrade of MGPL or weakening of the linkages with MGPL
- deterioration in the standalone financial performance along with liquidity position, leading to the interest coverage ratio reducing below 3.5x on a sustained basis
Incorporated in 2003, MOPL is involved in the retail of jewellery and operates out of a single showroom located in Thalaserry, Kerala. It is a franchisee of MGPL and a part of the Malabar Group, which is one of the leading jewellery retailers of India. MGPL started operations in 1993 as a partnership firm of M P Ahammed and his team of entrepreneurs.
Particulars (INR million)
FY21*
EBITDAR
EBITDAR margins (%)
Gross interest coverage (x)
Source: MOPL, Ind-Ra
*Provisional numbers
Complexity Indicator
ALL CREDIT RATINGS ASSIGNED BY INDIA RATINGS ARE SUBJECT TO CERTAIN LIMITATIONS AND DISCLAIMERS. PLEASE READ THESE LIMITATIONS AND DISCLAIMERS BY FOLLOWING THIS LINK: HTTPS://WWW.INDIARATINGS.CO.IN/RATING-DEFINITIONS. IN ADDITION, RATING DEFINITIONS AND THE TERMS OF USE OF SUCH RATINGS ARE AVAILABLE ON THE AGENCY'S PUBLIC WEBSITE WWW.INDIARATINGS.CO.IN. PUBLISHED RATINGS, CRITERIA, AND METHODOLOGIES ARE AVAILABLE FROM THIS SITE AT ALL TIMES. INDIA RATINGS' CODE OF CONDUCT, CONFIDENTIALITY, CONFLICTS OF INTEREST, AFFILIATE FIREWALL, COMPLIANCE, AND OTHER RELEVANT POLICIES AND PROCEDURES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE FROM THE CODE OF CONDUCT SECTION OF THIS SITE.
Treatment and Notching of Hybrids in Nonfinancial Corporates
Parent and Subsidiary Rating Linkage
Short-Term Ratings Criteria for Non-Financial Corporates
Saumil Shah
Manish Basawante


Body Solid's fitness training ropes come in four sizes with varying lengths and diameters.
Want to try the new fitness sensation that professional athletes, personal trainers, health clubs, and home fitness enthusiasts are getting excited about? Well, go ahead and try out the Body Solid Fitness Training Rope, then!
These ropes are portable and can be used anywhere for both indoor and outdoor training. The ropes utilize multiple muscle groups simultaneously while increasing overall strength, hand strength, and cardio endurance. Body Solids fitness training ropes come in four sizes with varying lengths and diameters.
All ropes are made of durable poly-twine with wrapped finished ends for durability.
Very intense involving the use of multiple muscle groups simultaneously while increasing overall strength, hand strength and cardio endurance.
Overall dimensions: 1.5" H x 1.5" W x 360" D.
30L x 1.5W in., 30L x 2W in., 50L x 1.5W in., 50L x 2W in.
Width (in.): 1.5 in., 2 in.
Length: 30 ft., 50 ft.


1. Do you use computerized drafting software?
2. Do you assign your non-attorney staff the responsibility to input information into drafting software to draft my estate planning documents?
3. How much time do you personally spend drafting my estate plan?
4. How are you different from internet sites that produce estate planning documents from a questionnaire?
5. Is funding my Trust included or is there an extra charge?
6. Do you personally coordinate re-titling of assets into my Trust or do you assign that to a non-attorney staff member?
7. Do you coordinate my retirement accounts with my estate plan?
8. Do you charge an annual fee whether my plan needs to be updated or not?
9. Do you personally litigate Trust disputes if there is a problem with my estate plan?
10. Are you available, after I sign my documents, to answer questions at no charge?


This thesis argues that through the use of character transformation in her heroines, Jane Austen uses marriage plot novels to romantically idealize the role of being a wife. In particular, heroines Catherine Morland, Marianne Dashwood, Elizabeth Bennet, and Emma Woodhouse lose autonomy and become more limited within their characters as they are influenced by the societies around them. The stories of Austen's other heroines offer dissimilarities in their trajectories that support the idea of achieving " happily ever afters" by exhibiting propriety in roles subordinate and dedicated to their future husbands. By imposing limitations on her heroines, Austen is suggesting that women should accept societal expectations and desire to become wives.
Brown, Jessica, "The transforming heroine: becoming a wife in the Austen marriage plot" (2016). College of Liberal Arts & Social Sciences Theses and Dissertations. 208.


text:
import abc
import itertools

from oslo_log import log as logging
from oslo_utils import excutils
from oslo_vmware import api
from oslo_vmware import exceptions as vexc
from oslo_vmware import vim
from oslo_vmware.vim_util import get_moref_value

import nova.conf

CONF = nova.conf.CONF
LOG = logging.getLogger(__name__)

class StableMoRefProxy(metaclass=abc.ABCMeta):
    """Abstract base class which acts as a proxy
    for Managed-Object-References (MoRef).
    Those references are usually "stable", meaning
    they don't change over the life-time of the object.
    But usually doesn't mean always. In that case, we
    need to fetch the reference again via some search method,
    which uses a guaranteed stable identifier (names, uuids, ...)
    """

    def __init__(self, ref):
        self.moref = ref

    @property
    def __class__(self):
        # Suds accesses the __class__.__name__ attribute
        # of the object to determine the xml-tag of the object
        # so we have to fake it
        return self.moref.__class__

    @abc.abstractmethod
    def fetch_moref(self, session):
        """Updates the moref field or raises
        same exception the initial search would have
        """

    def __getattr__(self, name):
        return getattr(self.moref, name)

    def __repr__(self):
        return "StableMoRefProxy({!r})".format(self.moref)

class MoRef(StableMoRefProxy):
    """MoRef takes a closure to resolve the reference of a managed object
    That closure is called again, in case we get a ManagedObjectNotFound
    exception on said reference.
    """

    def __init__(self, closure, ref=None):
        self._closure = closure
        ref = ref or self._closure()
        super().__init__(ref)

    def fetch_moref(self, _):
        self.moref = self._closure()

    def __repr__(self):
        return "MoRef({!r})".format(self.moref)

class VMwareAPISession(api.VMwareAPISession):
    """Sets up a session with the VC/ESX host and handles all
    the calls made to the host.
    """

    def __init__(self, host_ip=CONF.vmware.host_ip,
                 host_port=CONF.vmware.host_port,
                 username=CONF.vmware.host_username,
                 password=CONF.vmware.host_password,
                 retry_count=CONF.vmware.api_retry_count,
                 scheme="https",
                 cacert=CONF.vmware.ca_file,
                 insecure=CONF.vmware.insecure,
                 pool_size=CONF.vmware.connection_pool_size):
        super(VMwareAPISession, self).__init__(
                host=host_ip,
                port=host_port,
                server_username=username,
                server_password=password,
                api_retry_count=retry_count,
                task_poll_interval=CONF.vmware.task_poll_interval,
                scheme=scheme,
                create_session=True,
                cacert=cacert,
                insecure=insecure,
                pool_size=pool_size)

    @staticmethod
    def _is_vim_object(module):
        """Check if the module is a VIM Object instance."""
        return isinstance(module, vim.Vim)

    def _call_method(self, module, method, *args, **kwargs):
        """Calls a method within the module specified with
        args provided.
        """
        try:
            if not self._is_vim_object(module):
                return self.invoke_api(module, method, self.vim, *args,
                                       **kwargs)
            return self.invoke_api(module, method, *args, **kwargs)
        except vexc.ManagedObjectNotFoundException as monfe:
            with excutils.save_and_reraise_exception() as ctxt:
                moref = monfe.details.get("obj") if monfe.details else None
                for arg in itertools.chain(args, kwargs.values()):
                    if not isinstance(arg, StableMoRefProxy):
                        continue
                    moref_arg = get_moref_value(arg.moref)
                    if moref != moref_arg:
                        continue
                    # We have found the argument with the moref
                    # causing the exception and we can try to recover it
                    arg.fetch_moref(self)
                    if not arg.moref:
                        # We didn't recover the reference
                        ctxt.reraise = True
                        break
                    moref_arg = get_moref_value(arg.moref)
                    if moref != moref_arg:
                        # We actually recovered, so do not raise `monfe`
                        LOG.info("Replaced moref %s with %s",
                                 moref, moref_arg)
                        ctxt.reraise = False
        # We only end up here when we have recovered a moref by changing
        # the stored value of an argument to a different value,
        # so let's try again (and recover again if it happens more than once)
        return self._call_method(module, method, *args, **kwargs)

    def _wait_for_task(self, task_ref):
        """Return a Deferred that will give the result of the given task.
        The task is polled until it completes.
        """
        return self.wait_for_task(task_ref)


text:
Moving Forward When Life Doesn't Go As You Planned
Deeper Walk
New You—Special Series
You Can Now Take College Courses on YouTube
Biden Proposes "Student Loan Safety Net" To Cut Student Loan Payments in Half
Do You Really Need a Master's Degree?
The Florida State Government Will Monitor University Student and Faculty Beliefs
You Need to Relax
Yale Will Now Allow Students To Take Mental Health Leave Just Like Medical Leave
The Spiritual Benefits to Physical Health
Listen to This: Turns Out Headphones Can Cause Major Hearing Loss
'Everything Everywhere All at Once' Is Returning to Theaters This Weekend
Figuring Out Cautious Clay
Australian Lawmakers May Prevent Kanye West From Entering the Country Over Hate Speech
There's a Bill in the Senate to Ban TikTok in the U.S.
12 Books to Read to Complete Your Year-End Reading Goal
Bookstores Are Making a Comeback
Beth Moore on How to Handle Your Spiritual Coming-of-Age
Six Books You Probably Should Have Read By Now
Apparently Tim Burton Is the Favorite Director Among 18- To 34-Year-Olds
Maya Hawke Will Portray Flannery O'Connor in Ethan Hawke-Directed 'Wildcat'
'Avatar: The Way of Water' Has Grossed $2 Billion Worldwide
Watch Tobe Nwigwe Perform on 'The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon'
Lecrae Announces Dates and Cities for the Final 'Church Clothes' Tour
Fans Raise Over $4.8 Million for Damar Hamlin's Charity
Why Is Everyone Playing Pickleball All of a Sudden?
The NFLPA Will Investigate Just Why Tua Tagovailoa Was Allowed to Play
The NFL Has Given Yet Another Accused Sexual Harasser Their Usual Slap on the Wrist
ChatGPT CEO Isn't Worried About Schools' Concerns, Says 'We Adapted to Calculators'
ChatGPT Just Passed the Bar and Medical School Exams
Turns Out 4,621 Twitter Accounts Supporting Andrew Tate Are Just Fake Bots
Seven Times 'Saturday Night Live' Got Church Right
The Trailer for 'Bel-Air' Season 2 Just Dropped — And Look Who's Joining the Cast
Amanda Bynes Is Reuniting With the 'All That' Cast
A Definitive Ranking of Television's Best Christian Characters
Chicken of the Sea is Offering $1 Million to Anyone Who Can Find a Real-Life Mermaid
The National Prayer Breakfast Is Cutting Ties With "The Family"
Uh Oh, 'Doomsday Clock' Is Closer to Midnight Than Ever Before
We Asked ChatGPT to Write 10 Christian Jokes And This Is What It Did
Priest Who Temporarily Died Says He Went to Hell and They Play Rihanna's Music to Torture People
George Santos Allegedly Stole Thousands from a Dying Dog's GoFundMe account
Louisiana Residents Now Need a Government ID to Access Porn Online
A Bill That Would Redefine 'Obscenity' May Destroy the Online Porn Industry Once and For All
A Third Way Between War and Pacifism
Tony Evans: Why We Need Black History Month
The Real War on Christmas
9/11 Is A History Lesson For Me
What They Don't Tell You About Social Justice
New Report: Global Christian Persecution is Higher than Ever
Life and Human Dignity
15 Martin Luther King Jr. Quotes That Will Challenge You to Take Action
Does It Matter Where Your Clothes Come From?
How to Rise Above Compassion Fatigue
Experts Predict the Ozone Layer Will Fully Heal Within 40 Years
The Biblical Reasons for Going 'Low Waste'
The Spiritual Toll of America's Food Waste Epidemic
Americans Waste One Third of Their Groceries Each Year
An "Artificial Womb Facility" That Gives Parents the Ability to Pick Their Child's Traits Is in the Works
These Organizations Could Use Your Help This Time of Year
Alabama Abandons Execution of Kenneth Eugene Smith After Botched Attempt
How Christians Can Support the Jewish Community as Antisemitism Spreads
We Need to Rethink Our Idea of Pastors
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Today's Devotional: Deeper Than Words Called
by Scott Erickson
What was your best moment of the last year?
And what was your worst moment of the last year?
Every January since graduating from the university I attended, I and my old college housemates and our spouses rent a cabin on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State, where the Twilight series was filmed, and we spend a weekend together.
Saturday night dinner has become a bit of a tradition. We all plate our food and sit at the long table together. Between bites, each of us shares our best and worst moments of the last year. This gives us a chance to be as honest and vulnerable as we want to be with our greatest triumphs and our most painful disappointments. We've learned to create an honest space to talk about how we really are.
So let's do that here. I'll go first. I want to tell you about my worst moment of the year a few years ago that eventually led to the writing my book, Say Yes, but to stay true to the tradition of the Saturday night dinner, I'll start with the opposite.
That particular year, my best moment was taking our young children to Disneyland for the first time . . . which sounds completely cliché, I know. But have you ever been to Disneyland with little kids? When you go with little kids, the experience truly is magical.
Now . . . what was my worst moment of the year?
Well, that particular year, my worst moment took place on a toilet. Now, it did not involve my bowels. But it did happen on a toilet.
At that time my wife and I were renting a quirky little house just outside of Portland, Oregon. One night, I put my kids to sleep in their bunk beds and closed the door to their room, and I noticed I was crying. Now me crying isn't especially troublesome. I'm completely comfortable being the bearded middle-aged man silently weeping in the theater during the Pixar film that suspiciously seems not to be written for children. I own being a crier. But I wasn't crying because my kids and I had just read a magical bedtime story. No, this was something different. I tried to stop myself from crying, but I couldn't. The sobs got deeper and deeper . . . and I made my way to the only bathroom in our whole house—a tiny little bathroom right off the kitchen—and I sat on the toilet and just wept. I wept for about an hour. Twenty minutes into crying, my wife found me and said, "Oh my gosh! Are you okay?" I tried to say something, but all I could answer with was more sobbing. She came into the bathroom and began to rub my back, asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"My tears are me talking about it," I stuttered. "I don't know what this is."
With the passage of some time and with some reflection on that moment, I realized what was happening: a dream was dying in me. For a long, long time, I'd had a certain dream, and somehow physiologically and psychologically my body understood this dream was never going to come to fruition . . . and I was grieving the loss and death of it.
What was your worst moment in the last year?
I'm not going to pretend to know what it's like to be in your skin. I can't fathom the pain some of you have gone through. The losses you've experienced. The suffering you've had to endure. The disappointment you're still heartbroken over. Again, I don't know what it's like to be you. But my guess is that your worst moment of the year was something like a dream dying. The dream of the way you thought life was going to work out but it didn't. The dream of the kind of suffering you thought you were going to be insulated from and you weren't. The dream of the kind of person you thought you were going to become and you haven't.
Do you know this feeling? Have you had a moment like this? Maybe without a toilet, but I'm guessing you have.
What was your dream that died?
Maybe it had to do with the person you fell in love with.
Maybe it was to enjoy the shape and form of your body.
Maybe it was to turn your passion into a career.
Maybe it was to maintain a hopeful outlook on life.
Maybe it was the dream of the family you hoped to create.
Maybe it was that thing you've been working on for years.
Maybe it was the commas in your bank account.
Maybe it was to have a more vibrant faith.
Maybe it was to believe more strongly in joy.
Maybe it was to enjoy the gift of your existence.
Whatever your experience, I want you to know you're normal and you can find solidarity here. What a whirlwind life has been of late, and many factors we have no control over have affected and irrevocably changed our lives. But global circumstances aside, we all experience a death of some dream in our lives, because a dream is usually formed by seeing something in someone else and not being able to accomplish that.
Maybe you saw someone doing their thing and thought, I want to be like them, and you started to pursue that particular manifestation. The truth is that none of us can ever actually become someone else. Even if we acquired all the things they had, we still would never accomplish that dream, because we will never embody someone else's incarnation fully. We can only become the fullest version of ourselves . . . and honestly, none of us know what our unique manifestation of that looks like yet.
But we hope to know. And crying on that toilet, feeling the death of a dream, was the door of hope opening a little. I could now see more clearly my cherished desire. Eventually I stopped crying and spent some time thinking about what was happening to me. The question I found myself asking at the end of that time was this: What am I going to do with this newfound discovery of the kind of person I want to be in the world?
Adapted from Say Yes: Discover the Surprising Life Beyond the Heath of a Dream by Scott Erickson. Copyright ©2022 by Scott Erickson. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com.
Scott Erickson November 9, 2022
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