text:
Rear-ending a septic-sucking truck...
The photo is from from Google images
Last Friday started like any other day. It was beautiful. The sun was even shinning. Well, that's exactly not like any other day because this is Michigan and you don't get much sunshine in the winter. My first stop for the day was the medical clinic at the hospital where I was to have a blood draw for my annual physical (we'll, it's been being more like an every other year event). They drew the blood, filling up a half-dozen vials and I went on my way. Having fasted for 12 hours, I went out for breakfast and enjoyed corn beef hash with poached eggs, with plenty of hot sauce.
Life was good, that is until about 3 PM. My doctor's nurse called and said that he wanted more me to go back and have more test. Never a good thing! I made time to stop back by the clinic and they quickly drew more blood and got me to give them a sample of my urine. A little after five o'clock, the doctor called me from his cell phone to mine (my doctor is a friend). He was on his way to watch his son play basketball, but said he wanted to let me know what was going on. He said that my fasting blood sugar was 317, which was way high and suggesting that for the time being, I go easy on the carbs. He said he wanted to see the results of the next tests (something about an A1C level) and would go by the office on Saturday morning to check it out. Friday night, I was good, eating fish and vegetables. Saturday morning, I was with a group of friends at a buffet and I thought I'd be good by only eating one biscuit with just a little sausage gravy. Before the meal was over, the doctor was calling for me again. This time, he insisted I go back right away to have more blood drawn, saying that my A1C levels were off the chart (over 15). The good news is that everything else within my body seems to be working well. The extra tests were looking for damage from high blood sugars (and there doesn't appear to be any). However, my little splurge with one biscuit and some gravy shot my blood sugar up into the 450s. My doctor, in consultation with an endocrinologist, put me on long acting (basal) insulin. He also gave me a diagnostic of type 1 diabetes (that's right, what's often referred to as juvenile diabetes, what can I say, I'm young at heart.) He also said that although he doesn't know why, it is possible that a virus attacked my pancreas. Since then, I've gotten well-versed in pricking my finger and reading my blood sugar levels.
Yesterday, after a long appointment with the endocrinologist, I am on a regular basal/bolus insulin regiment. This means I get to count up what I'm eating and giving myself shots before meals as well as the evening shot of basal insulin. I now feel like a full-fledged junkie.
This week, my blood sugar levels have been dropping and I have been very fatigued. I haven't felt much like writing or even reading. I haven't been on skis in over a week. Hopefully, when things are under control, I'll feel more like resuming regular activity. When I asked him about activity level, the endocrinologist assured me that shouldn't be a problem, proudly pointing out that he has had several patients who have run marathons. I didn't ask if they're still alive.
Life is never guaranteed. Never before has this seemed so true. But, as I've assured those around me, this means there'll be more cookies and ice cream for them. On the other hand, a friend with whom I play basketball, who is a sales manager for Hostress, is lamenting the loss of another customer.
Here in Michigan, we're under a winter storm. The snow started around noon and by dark, we've received 6 or so inches... I seemed to have been thrown into a whirlwind over the past few days. I'll write more about it in time, but not just yet. Instead, I am resurrecting a post (with some edits) that I wrote when I was visiting my parents in 2005. The photo is of a waterway marker not far from my parent's home. Enjoy.
Sheba, our English Setter, barked incessantly at something in the drainage ditch at the back edge of the yard. Going to investigate, I found her moving around a pocket in the clay wall of the ditch. Water had been draining out of small caves such as these. "What is it, girl?" I asked as I rubbed her head and got down to peer inside the hole. A good-sized turtle was hiding inside, its head barely sticking out of its shell. "Good girl," I said, grabbing a stick. I slid the stick underneath its shell and tried to drag the turtle out when, like lightning, a head wtih exposed fangs popped out of the shadows. Dropping the stick, I jumped back as the snake's body recoiled and Sheba frantically barked more. I was maybe ten years old and had come just inches from being bitten by a water moccasin. Leaving the dog to guard the snake, I ran inside and told dad who came out with a hoe and killed the snake. It was too dangerous for something that poisonous to be at the edge of our yard.
The drainage ditch behind our house was a wonderful place to play as a kid. When we first moved here, there was always water flowing through it as it drained down to Myrtle Grove Sound. (I didn't realize this being an ominous sign as they were draining the swampy areas to the south of our house). As kids, playing in the ditch, we hunted for salamanders and turtles, and even caught a few small red-finned pike. Also exciting were the carnivorous plants, especially the Venus flytrap with trigger-hairs in its cupped hands that would imprison an unlucky insect as it feasted on its decaying body. The ditch also served us as a trench for us to re-enact Civil War battles. Having moved here from Petersburg, Virginia, we were well aware of how trenches were used during the Civil War. We fought our battles with friends, unaware that just a mile or so away our ancestors skirmished with Union soldiers, in an attempt to delay the fall of Wilmington until all the provisions at the port had been shipped to Lee's troops held up in trenches at Petersburg.
Behind the drainage ditch were several square miles of woods and swamps. In this area, these swamps are known as Carolina Bays, low oval shaped depressions filled with peat moss. In all but extremely dry periods, the depressions were filled with water. Ringing these oval depressions were thick undergrowth including live oaks bearded with Spanish moss and towering cypress. The rest of the land, which was only a few feet higher than the bays, consisted of sandy soil that supported tall long-leaf pines, occasional patches of sumac or blackjack oak, and the ubiquitous wiregrass. In ages past, these pine forests of eastern North Carolina supported a thriving industry for naval stores and turpentine and as I got older we found evidence of such. The mature trees had slash marks where sap drained. There were also mounds, which we at first thought were Indian burial grounds, only to later discover they had something to do with burning pines in order to extract pitch, a valuable comodity in the days of wooden ships.. The woods and bays made a great playground, but until we were older, we could only play there during the winter due to the snakes.
We moved here in 1966, when I was nine years old. This was before the big building boom in Wilmington, which started around 1970 and has continued ever since. There were only seven houses on our street, each sitting on a half-acre. Ours was an exception for my father brought two lots, not wanting to be "crowded in." In addition to the woods behind the house, we could cross the street and ramble through more swamps and pine forest until we came to the headwaters of Whiskey Creek, which I thoroughly explored after I purchased my first canoe when I was sixteen. The woods across the street were the first to go as houses were built up and down the road. By the time I was in high school, all the lots had been used and new roads were being laid. I don't remember just when the woods behind my parents succumbed to the great urban sprawl of the Southeast. My last trip out through the bays and pine forest was during a break from college. A few years later, as I was surprised to visit one day and discover the ditch had been filled in and where the bays had been stood houses.
I can't imagine growing up down here now. Houses are everywhere. When I was a child, my friends and I freely roamed the woods in winter and rode our bikes in summer. It's only a half a mile to the water, where we watched fishing boats and barges make their way up and down the inland waterway as we fished or caught crabs. Today, access to the water is severely restricted, the woods have all disappeared, and it's been decades since I've seen one of those meat-eating flytraps in the wild. They say its progress; I have my doubts. As a child, living here, the world seemed endless. Now, children growing up in this neighborhood will have worldviews limited to a fenced half an acre.
The Sacred Journey (A Book Review)
Charles Foster, The Sacred Journey (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Press, 2010), 230 pages including notes, an index and a study guide.
For much of the Christian era, going on a pilgrimage was seen as a valid spiritual practice (at least for a small percent of the faithful). Christians would head to the Holy Lands, even after the Islamic invasion. Later, as Jerusalem became a more difficult destination, Christians would go to Rome or to Santiago or other places in Europe that were important to the faith, often to where relics of the saints were found. During the Reformation, Protestants discouraged this practice, thinking it silly for Christians to seek out relics or the need to travel to holy sites where they felt they could be closer to God. Yet, as Foster points out, human beings were created to walk and individual encounters with God seem to occur most often when we are less settled. Furthermore, when God summons, it's often a call for us to move or to go somewhere (think of Abram).
Foster encourages Protestants to reconsider pilgrimage as a spiritual practice. He suggests that pilgrimages are a way to counter the ancient heresy of Gnosticism which is alive and well in our churches today. The Gnostics attempt to separate the body (which they see as corrupt) from the spirit (which they see as more godly). The struggles of a pilgrim merge together the body and spirit as one meets the challenges of the road. Another benefit of the pilgrim is to look at the world in a fresh and new way (with child-like eyes) which is easier when we are out of our comfort zones. A third benefit of a pilgrimage is the community that one finds on the road. Without the comforts of home, pilgrims are no longer divided by social castes and friendships abound as they learn to depend upon each other.
Although Foster writes from a Protestant Christian perspective, he draws from the larger Christian context as well as from other religious traditions. By looking at other traditions, we see the universal need for human beings to reach out and search for meaning beyond ourselves. Foster has many strong opinions that many Christians may find challenging if not offensive. Early on he suggests there is a need for a new awakening and in which we should get rid of language that carries to much baggage, including the words "God" (Foster prefers names like "Holy One," "Blessed be He" or even the Hebrew "Elohim") and "Christian" (after all, the faith was first known as "The Way"). Foster also makes some bold claims such as suggesting that "religion, like everything else, goes bad when imported into town" and that "Christianity is an Eastern religion that has had the misfortune to be particularly popular in the West." Such hyperbole may seem shocking, but encourages the reader to think and consider Foster's point of view.
Personally, I found a lot to ponder within these pages and recommend this book especially to those who are interested in exploring different spiritual practices. As a way of disclosure, I acknowledge I was given a copy of the book to review. Furthermore, I began reading this book with a certain presupposition toward pilgrimages. During a recent reread of my journal from the Appalachian Trail, I was reminded that even a quarter of a century ago I was struggling with the role pilgrimages play in faith development.
The Sacred Journey is the seventh book on ancient spiritual practices published by Thomas Nelson Press. I received a copy of it for review from their Booksneeze program. By the way, Frederick Buechner also has a good book with the same title!
A couple more "pilgrimage-type" books: Vagabonding and The Art of Pilgrimage
After several weeks of extreme cold, even for Michigan, we're in a thaw cycle. Sunday morning it was 33 degrees and it was 39 degrees this morning, a significant change as just last Thursday it was well below zero when I went out with the dog at 6:30 AM. Of course, the cold will return on Saturday, but not before the snow has a chance to melt which is screwing with my hope of doing a full moon cross-country ski on Friday night (the plan had been to do a 4 mile ski into a local town on the bed of former railroad tracks, enjoy a dinner and some beers at a local watering hole, then ski back). Instead, of nice snow, we'll have mud to slosh through.
These Valentine Cards are from the early 1900s and a part of the collection of cards that I have with a stamp collection that I created as a child. I hope you have a wonderful day that is full of love and happiness.
The photo is another view of two of Frank's curing barns. I took the photo in April 2010.
Life has been hectic lately. It's also been frigid here. A woman was in my office today and she complained about the weather. "Aren't you from Michigan?" I asked. "Yes," she said, "I'm from Michigan, not Minnesota." The snow is sticking around and I have been able to get out regular on skis. I skied twilight this evening, a favorite time of the day with nice color across the skies. As I was coming in as the first stars were popping out. I wrote this part below as I was thinking about Uncle Frank, but I didn't include it in that piece as it really has nothing to do with Frank, but with my cousins and me.
I must have been around 11 or 12 years old. My brother and I were staying with our cousins on their farm; the four of us boys were sharing the same bedroom. We'd been joking around for much of the night, when we should have been sleeping. Instead, we found ourselves talking quietly and saying things boys shouldn't but do. It was then that I called one of them a fool. I don't even remember who it was, but Tim, my youngest male cousin immediately said that I was going to burn in hell. That's a sobering thought when you are a kid. "How do you know?" I asked. He said it was scripture. "Show me," I demanded. Tim got out his Bible and I think we put the lamp on the floor between the beds so that no one outside the room could see that we had a light on and Tim started looking. And he continued looking. He kept thinking it was here or there, flipping the pages back and forth, but he couldn't find the passage and soon we went on to other topics. Everyone forgot about it, except for me. But then, I was the one being threatened with hell-fire; this was serious business in my world. Then next day, at my grandparents, I got out a Bible and with the help of a concordance, I searched and was shocked to read "if you say, 'You fool, you will be liable to the hell of fire." (Matthew 5:22) I didn't share my new discovery with anyone, but I'd heard enough about hell in my short life that I made a change. Just in case I wasn't too late as I didn't like hot weather even then, I stopped calling other people fools. And to this day, I am bothered by that word.
A Tribute to Uncle Frank
Uncle Frank died two weeks ago. I wasn't able to make it back to the funeral, so here is my tribute. As a child, I spent much time on Clara and Frank's farm, running around with my cousins. Those days are gone but the memories live on. I took these photos last April.
I was six years old in January 1963, when we left Moore County. All our stuff—toys, beds, tables and chairs and a refrigerator along with the swing set—were packed up in the back of one of Frank's 2-ton farm trucks. A canvas tarp covered the truck Frank drove to our new home in Petersburg, Virginia. While unloading stuff into the little box house my parents had rented, Frank made a big deal about how we were now living in the city. He was always joking, but also always willing to lend a helping hand and it was as if he was proud of us for the opportunity the move created for our family. We stayed in that house less than a year, and then moved to a few miles away to a house my parents had purchased near Fort Hell.
During the three and a half years we lived in Petersburg, we always stopped to see Clara and Frank on our way down to Pinehurst or when leaving to drive back north. They lived not far off 15-501, the highway that cut from Sanford over to the Sandhills. Stopping at their home was always exciting and anticipation rose when we turned down the road to their home, bouncing on a dirt two-track that ran the ridge between fields. In those fields, Frank had collected a box full of arrowheads that he'd show off if asked. When we passed his two tobacco barns, the road turned to the right, dropping off the ridge and down to their home. The small farm house had a couple of shade trees around it. A little ways to the west was the big old barn (that no longer seems as big as it did). The pasture was behind the house, the cows corralled by an electric fence which my cousins challenged my brother and me to touch. There was a well right off the porch with a pitcher pump handle. The hand pump remained in case the power was out, which it never was when I was there, but we were told of ice storms that knocked the electricity off for days. The pitcher pump presented a challenge, to see if we could get the pump primed. Water always seemed to taste better flowing out of the old iron pipe. There was also an old outhouse, which wasn't used (except maybe during power outages), but was a place that a young kid had to check out, only to find himself locked inside. The old house was heated by wood burner in a central room. In the winter it was always warm and cozy and we "city kids" got to experience life on the farm including hot chocolate made with fresh milk that produced a film along the top. It took some encouragement to get us to drink it.
Frank always had a small herd of beef cows and there was always one breeder cow that needed to be milked, much of which was given to dogs to drink. Once, my older cousin showed us how to use a cow's tit as a squirt gun. Pretty soon, we were all attempting to squirt one another when Frank appeared and didn't look pleased and told us we're lucky the cow didn't kick us out of the barn.
Frank's farm was always busy in the summer, except on Sunday when things slowed down a bit. Two of these Sundays are memorable. In both, we were on our way back to Virginia. After church at Culdee with my grandparents, we'd head up 15-501 and stop at Clara and Franks for a few hours. While my parents visited, my brother, sister and I would run around with our cousins. They didn't have a lot of work on a Sunday, maybe checking the temperature in the curing barns or milking the stray cow without a calf. The rest of the time was spent playing. Once, during the summer of '63, we were treated to a pony ride. On that trip to Pinehurst, my parents took me to Dr. Tufts, a woman physician who'd taken care of me since birth. She gave my school check up, sticking me in the rump with my shots. I was up on the pony when it jumped and I fell off onto my already sore bottom. Frank jumped all over Terry, my older cousin, for not watching the pony, but I'm sure I had something to do with the animal's temper. On another Sunday afternoon, we were riding bikes through the pasture where my uncle had moved a winding trail through the high grass. We were all barefoot in those days and I was riding on the back on Marie's bike and somehow I got my big toe caught in the spokes. It chewed it up pretty good, but didn't break any bones. Leaving my brother and sister behind, my foot wrapped up in a towel that was quickly turning red, my parents rushed me back to the hospital in Pinehurst. It hurt! They gave me something for the pain and cleaned up and bandaged my foot. I wasn't able to get the bandages wet or dirty which meant I missed out on a lot of backyard playing that summer.
Once, during the summer, Frank and his family visited us in Petersburg. It must have been early in the summer, for once they started curing tobacco they'd be no way they could have left the farm. We were living in Walnut Hills then, just down the road from a Civil War museum built around a Yankee artillery battery named "Fort Hell." Supposedly (I don't know if I remember this from having said it or from having Frank repeated it so many times), Frank asked me why it was named Fort Hell and I told him because their cannons really gave them Yankees hell. I rode back to Moore County with Clara and Frank on that trip. Cars must have been much larger then to have gotten two adults and five kids inside for a five hour trip. Maybe they took me along to see if they'd have room for another child, for in a year or two, Clara would give birth to Marci. Somewhere along US 1, I think just south of the Virginia border, we stopped for gas at a country store kind of place that had, in the back, a collection of Indian artifacts. Frank and the proprietor talked about the collection of arrowheads and tomahawks. Frank had me tell the proprietor about Fort Hell.
After we moved to Wilmington, Clara and Frank built a new home. Instead of being down off the ridge and behind their pond, this one was on the highway, next to his parent's home. No longer did we have that long drive down the two-track. This new house seemed to be the most wonderful thing, with a large fireplace and an intercom system that played music and allowed one to talk to another room without walking down the hall. In the winter evenings, when we'd be there, Frank would always make a big bowl of pop corn and we'd eat it by the fireplace. We'd talk. Those were good days. However, I later learned the intercom wasn't so grand.
I must have been around 11 or 12 years old. My brother and I were staying with our cousins on their farm; the four of us were sharing the same bedroom. We'd been joking around for much of the night, when we should have been sleeping. It wouldn't be long before we'd hear Frank, over the intercom, with a voice that seemed to be as deep as God's, telling us to go to sleep. That was our first warning. When he came into the room, you knew you'd gone over the line.
One day I was fishing on Frank's pond with my cousins. We weren't catching much, mostly talking. There were some ducks floating peacefully out on the water, and Terry remarked how that was the life. Overhearing his son's comments, Frank reminded him that the life wouldn't look so good when one of them big snapping turtles that hang out at the bottom of the pond come up and grab him by his webbed feet and pull him under and have him for dinner. Frank was one of the hardest workers that I've known and he instilled that into his children.
Frank was a successful farmer and business man, running a tobacco warehouse in Carthage in addition to the farm. Over the years, he added to his farm and expanded the number of curing barns he tended. But through it all, the heart of his farm continued to be the same piece of property he'd farmed as a boy. When all the other farmers were switching to bulk curing barns, Frank held out, continuing to cure the leaves on a stick, bragging about the quality of tobacco and how much more his sold for than those who were short-cutting the curing process. But as he slowed with age and with the enticement of government tobacco allotments buy-outs, Frank stopped raising the golden leaf. But he had a hard time with inactivity. He started a strawberry business and grew vegetables to sell at a roadside stand and to a number of grocery stores in the area. He bragged about the sweetness of his corn and his automatic sheller for field peas that saved his customers time. But there was also sadness in his heart as my aunt died from an infection following surgery, a dozen or so years ago. He'd remarry, but lost his new wife to cancer a few years later. Through it all, Frank kept farming.
I stopped by to see Frank when I was in North Carolina last spring when I was heading home for a visit. It was early April. I found him out in a field on one of his tractors, planting peas. We talked for a while and then he pointed to the strawberry patch and told me to go over to the far rows, where he'd planted a few rows early (just in case he got lucky with the weather). He told me to look around and see if I couldn't find myself a quart or two of ripe berries to take back to my parents. Frank was always giving and those fresh strawberries, a full month before anyone else had any ripe ones, sure tasted good.
Frank farmed the same land that his daddy farmed. I don't know how far back his family was on that land, but I'm willing to bet that Frank knew it better than anyone. He was a good steward to what God had entrusted to his care. He'll be missed.
Groundhog day and stuff
Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. As Punxsutawey is not far from Pittsburgh, I'm sure that if they can entice the Groundhog to leave his burrow, he'll be sporting a Steeler scarf. Most-likely, if the weather in Western Pennsylvania is anything like it is here tonight, our favorite rodent will sleep in. Tomorrow would be a good day to watch the movie Groundhog Day. Had I planned ahead, I could have ordered it from Nexflix. It's a movie I could watch over and over again… Wait, watching the movie, you watch it over and over again. Having Andie MacDowell in it keeps the repeats from being too boring.
The wind is really howling and the chimes on the back porch are singing. If they stop, I'll probably mean they've blow away and are on their way to Sault Saint Marie. The blizzard that everyone has been talking about for the past few days is finally here. They've already closed all the schools which is nice as it means we don't have to get up and check in the morning. No one is going out except for me. I had to go find a battery for my daughter's anemometer, not really an emergency, but hey, if the wind is howling it's nice to know if it was a 25 or 45 mph gust. Besides, there weren't many people in the store and I was waited on by a kid who seemed happy to have something to do. From what he said, they were busy before. There was one other guy complaining that all the whole milk was gone and he couldn't bring himself to drink skim mile (I'm the other way around, drinking only skim and thinking 2% taste like heavy cream). The assistant manager said that he could take two ½ gallons and be charged the same as a gallon. The wind was blowing so hard that by the time I got home, fifteen minutes later, the tracks I'd made between my house and truck had already filled in.
Before my outing to the store, I went skiing on the cusp of the storm. The storm was just coming in and it was fun to watch the boiling clouds and to listen to the haunting sound of the wind as it blew through the bare hardwoods. The wind was chilling, especially up on top of hills. It wasn't bad when my back was against the wind, but when I had to go against it, blowing snow pelleted against my face and stung. It was exhilarating to be out in the weather.
Back to the groundhog, a friend dropped off this picture of Punxutawey Phil with his Steeler scarf. Underneath the photo was this sentence. "Another 52 weeks as world champions." Here's hoping that'll happen whether or not Phil comes out tomorrow morning. The photo below is from my afternoon ski.


I hate it when I come across a blog and I read all the posts and then I discover that posting has just sort of stopped without any sort of explanation.
This blog has become that. An abrupt stop with no explanation. So, I'm going to attempt to offer an explanation and maybe it will make sense and maybe it won't – but at least there will be some sort of explanation. Maybe.
At the beginning of July, I was involved in… something (? I still don't quite know what to call it but I suppose an online disagreement? I don't really know what it was that I supposedly did but I must have done Something to cause the Something).
During the fallout over the Something, I closed this site down and moved all the posts. About six weeks later, I resurrected this site and put the posts back and that's why many of the older posts do not have images in case you were wondering. They were lost in the take down and put back up and as much as it annoys me that there are posts without images, I also haven't managed to make time to go through all the posts to re attach the images because of my next point.
The other more painful part of the fallout is that a number of people who I considered to be good friends abandoned me.
I have abandonment issues. I'm not going to pretend I don't have issues related to abandonment because that would just be me being dishonest with myself. I don't think anyone who experiences abrupt parental abandonment gets away from that completely unscathed. The problem is that those thoughts related to being abandoned don't usually get to take up space in my brain because I can logically explain them. But real abandonment happened recently and logic kinda takes a seat while the emotions remind me that I am not good enough.
I wish I could say that my former friends are awful people, but they're not so maybe that means that I am the awful person? This is my thought process. This lives with me every day and I don't want to share my thoughts with others if I am the awful person.
Maybe they were never my friends in the first place. Maybe I once again misinterpreted the meaning of social relationships and maybe they only offered their friendship based on what I could do for them. When I was at my lowest point of a really tough year, maybe they saw that I had nothing left to offer them. This is also my thought process and in a way it holds truth because I don't have that much to offer people at the moment.
This makes me a difficult person to be friends with now because I need constant reassurance that the people who stuck around plan to continue to stick around. I don't want to be clingy and needy like that. I also struggle with the give and take of friendships and while I'm currently in a phase where I can't give that much, I don't want to be constantly taking either. So, I have withdrawn from people a bit, and I've reduced my online time. This site is part of that online time.
The last numbered point also leads me to another point (Are these even points or random thought bubbles tied together with tenuous strings?): This year has been hard for me. I've struggled to get things done that ordinarily wouldn't be too hard for me to do. Writing is one of those things. Previously, words would flow from my brain to the page/screen almost effortlessly and while I still get short bursts of that, most of the time, every word and every sentence requires very deliberate thought and often I find my writing to be terribly confusing to read.
On top of that, I'm dealing with a what-more-can-I-say feeling. This blog contains 189 published posts (excluding this one which will hopefully get published taking the total to 190). Aside from the A-Z of neurodiversity series where a number of autistic people contributed posts, and a guest post in June, I wrote those posts. That's a lot of words. Not as many as most of the autistic bloggers that I know, but that's still a lot of words, and a lot of them are very repetitive.
How many times do people have to say stop treating autistic children as less than human? How many times do people have to say that murdering people is wrong? How many times do people have to say stop talking about as though we can't hear/read what you're saying? How many times do people need to say that awareness hurts? Even more basic, how many times do people have to explain that how we refer to our own identity is our choice and no one else's?
Is there a certain number of times each person from a group needs to say the same thing before people start listening? Is there a certain number of people from the group that need to say the same thing? What more can I laboriously write to convince you that Autistic people (including all autistic children) are human and we're hurting and we don't deserve to be hurting?
On this site, I have shared a lot of my pain. In this post, I have shared a lot of my pain. But I haven't done that to get sympathy. I have done it so that people can hopefully treat other autistic people better than I have been treated, but why do I need to constantly remind people that I am hurting? Why don't people seem to realise that I'm as capable of being hurt as anyone else. If anything, I carry my hurt for longer because I find it so difficult to process and understand the hurt.
So there's my sort of explanation as to why this site (and the Facebook page – and even my personal FB profile) has gone quiet.
This space used to be a space where I could freely express my thoughts, but now it's a space where I struggle to feel as though my thoughts matter to anyone – and that's when I can actually sort my thoughts out well enough to make sense of them.
It's not all doom and gloom though. I've started expressing myself through different means. I play with Photoshop, pens and paint a lot. That has started to become what I do more than how this site used to be what I do. I don't know if that makes sense?
Anyway, it would be hard to start sharing stuff like the above on a site that has always been tagged as one Autistic person blogging about things in their head. I think. Maybe?
So that's my explanation. All of it. Some of it might even make sense. I don't really know what that means for the future of this site – or the Facebook page. I don't know if I will stop writing completely or whether I just need to take a long break. I do have quite a few posts in draft mode that are experiencing failure to be completed, but I really do need to take a break. I haven't earned the break. I maybe don't even deserve to take a break when there are others who have been writing more and for longer than I have, but I need the break.
I need to submerge myself in pixels and paint and muddle my way through the pain of this year. I also need to finish my degree so that I can say that there is one thing in my life that started and finished. Maybe I will start sharing some random digital art, but I don't know.
An edit to add: I'm truly grateful to the friends that stuck around and please don't take my withdrawal as me not being appreciative. I am. I just don't want to be that pathetic friend who always has an issue.


Newly remodeled, this 449 square foot, stylishly functional room is our most efficient footprint yet. Taking a minimalist approach to design, this clutter free environment features one king bed, a 50" flat screen TV, multiple charging and power outlets, and a multi-purpose element that doubles as wardrobe, storage, work surface and media center. The room was made to feel more natural with both functional and accent lighting and art that consist of images of the Mojave Desert.


Muzzle Flashes - Five different highly detailed sculpts.
These are a simple way to add an awesome level of cinematic realism to your gaming miniatures or diorama projects, use them to add weapons effects, as small scale rocket thrusters or anything else you can imagine.
Large Muzzle Flashes are approx 9.2mm long, and are ideal for heavy and support weaponry such as those from our Exo-Lords range.
The product photos contain a number of examples to help you decide which size is suitable for your project.
This product is not a toy. It is supplied unpainted, and will require some preparation and gluing with superglue. For further guidance, the Anvil Industry guide "Working with Resin" can be found at the bottom of the page.
For explosive weapons, start by painting the Flash pure white, then add several stages (using either drybrushing or carefull layering) of colour moving from very light yellow to orange. At every stage, paint a smaller area of the Flash, focusing more toward the back and outer sections.
For energy weapons you can try reversing it, starting with a choosen base colour (Blue, red, green etc) and add layers of the colour mixed with increasing ammounts of white, ending with pure white. At each stage, paint a smaller area, focusing on the raised areas and the front end of the flash.
This product is 1x Frag Launcher, compatible with our Exo-Lord torsos and similar sized plastic tors..
The second generation of the Widow Maker S.A.W., uncompromising and deadly, we call it the Extermina..


text:
Crowdsourced Customer Data platforms
2021. Lusha, a crowdsourced data platform for B2B sales, gets $205M
For many sales and marketing teams, finding leads is a time-consuming and tedious process. Lusha, a sales intelligence platform for B2B sales, is helping with a crowdsourced database that helps companies narrow down their lists of potential customers to the most likely candidates. The company has raised $205 million Series B. Lusha says its user community, which contributes data like company information and business contact details, now includes more than 800,000 sales professionals and 273,000 sales organizations, including large tech firms like Facebook, Google, Dropbox and Uber. Most of Lusha's clients are B2B SaaS companies, but it's also used by venture capital firms, investors and recruiting agencies.
2021. Groopit raises $2M to help execs access crowd-sourced company data
Groopit, a startup that wants to help companies crowdsource data from information supplied by employees working in the field, has raised a $2 million pre-seed round. For example, a company that sells nut products in retail stores across the country. As sales people go into stores to check supplies, they can take a photo of the display, note the location inside the store and rate how the merchandise is being presented, all from an app on their phones. They can even capture competitor product data including SKUs that appear to be selling faster than the company's product. All of this gives executives quick access to data, which they can then share in other tools like a CRM or a collaboration tool. It also has the added benefit of saving time in meetings because salespeople no longer have to give status reports. The product can be customized in a variety of ways to work for an individual business to gather the specific kinds of data it needs — and it works across mobile and Web.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


Equestrian World Insurance Services (EWIS) are providers of horse insurance in Airdrie and throughout the UK. Our aim is to provide you with the highest quality of horse and pony insurance cover in Airdrie at competitive rates. EWIS supply a range of products, including horse insurance, horsebox insurance, horse trailer insurance and horsebox roadside assistance. We also offer bespoke insurance packages for equestrian businesses such as livery yards and riding schools throughout the UK. Our dedicated team are here to assist with your enquiry, and we will strive to find the right fit for you and your horse while offering the best possible value for money.
To find out more, please call us on 0141 427 7722 or use the form opposite to contact us. You can also request a quote by pressing the button below.


text:
Music Post No Bills Dance
The Merce Cunningham Dance Company's final shows in Chicago
The Merce Cunningham Dance Company rolls through Chicago for the final time on Friday and Saturday, performing at the Harris Theater as part of its Legacy Tour. (It began last February and winds up on New Year's Eve in New York, with tickets going for a mere ten bucks.) Cunningham, one the greatest choreographers of modern dance, died in 2009 at the age of 90, and one of the notable achievements of his long career was to use some of the most radical, forward-looking music ever made in his performances. Of course, Cunningham's partner was brilliant composer and thinker John Cage, so he was never at a loss for resources. Cage was a longtime musical director of the company—which officially began in 1953—and after his death the role was taken over by David Tudor and Takehisa Kosugi. The company's list of repertory composers is staggering, a kind of who's who of the avant-garde: Maryanne Amacher, Robert Ashley, Pierre Boulez, Earle Brown, Brian Eno, Pierre Henry, Annea Lockwood, Gordon Mumma, Morton Feldman, Pauline Oliveros, LaMonte Young, and many others. A huge number of great players from the worlds of jazz, improvisation, and experimental music worked with the company, including Jim O'Rourke, Christian Marclay, Marina Rosenfeld, Keith Rowe, and William Winant.
There are four pieces on this weekend's program, drawn from the company's vast repertoire. The daring music from two of them was featured in a fantastic ten-CD box set released at the end of last year, Music for Merce: 1952-2009 (New World). The set is packed with compositions that were used in various Cunningham works throughout the decades, and they all still sound bold today; it also includes an invaluable 120-page booklet crammed with photos, discographical information, and superb, in-depth liner notes by Amy C. Beal that detail the affinity the choreographer saw between sound and movement. Naturally, it offers a dazzling overview of the music that Cunningham's company danced to, but it also functions as a decent survey of experimental composition over the last half of the 20th century. The 1976 piece Squaregame features Kosugi's warped violin-and-voice music S.E. Wave/E.W. Song from the same year, and the 1982 piece Quartet uses Tudor's live-electronics composition Sextet for Seven (1982). The set includes lots of Cage , but neither the music for 1958's Antic Meet, which uses his Concert for Piano and Orchestra, nor the music for 1983's Roaratorio, which uses his Roaratorio, an Irish Circus on Finnegans Wake (1979), are included.
Today's playlist:
BJ Nilsen, The Invisible City (Touch)
Ricardo Ray and Bobby Cruz, Aguzate (Alegre/Fania)
The Endtables, The Endtables (Drag City)
Volcano Choir, Unmap (Jagjaguwar)
Anat Fort Trio, And If (ECM)
Music Post No Bills Dance Merce Cunningham Dance Company John Cage David Tudor Takehisa Kosugi Music for Merce Harris Theater contemporary classical music dance experimental music
Harris Theater
205 E. Randolph St. (Loop)
Courtesy Of Rashaun Mitchell + Silas Riener + Charles Atlas.
The multidisciplinary Tesseract explores queer identity through the lens of science fiction
by Matt de la Peña | Mar 23, 2017
Courtesy Of New World Records
A new box set gives experimental composer David Tudor his due 2
Despite his pioneering work with electronics and indeterminacy, he's far more obscure than his friend John Cage—in part because he considered his music a living practice rather than something to be documented.
by Peter Margasak | Jun 13, 2013


It was very beautiful and sunny for Jessica & Tim's Draycott in Derbyshire wedding day.
We've been fortunate this year for me to be able to say that Jessica and Tim had a really lovely British Summer wedding day earlier in July. It was the first day of what turned out to be a good couple of weeks of great sunshine that we enjoyed, and after so much rain last summer, it felt wonderful!
I arrived at the busy home (and a very pretty home it is) filled with the ladies getting ready, Jessica already looked amazing, I loved her hair, and as I saw her dress I knew that it completed Jessica's style perfectly. Once everyone was ready we spilled out into the street, ready to jump in to the car for the very short drive to the church. I'd met Gary the previous evening, he was local to the community and Jessica had asked him specifically if he could conduct the marriage of her and Tim. I truly see why, I will remember him for being such a wonderful vicar to work with!
After the ceremony the reception was held in the grounds of Draycott House, where Jessica and Tim enjoyed spending time with their guests as the band played in the sunshine and children played Jenga on the lawn. The celebrations then were followed by dance lessons by Jessica's friends who were her dance teachers as a little girl.
If you are considering having a Draycott House wedding please contact Becky or Neil to discuss how we can capture the story of your wedding day.


Hotchkiss resident Jimmie Ross Rule died Jan. 13, 2019, at Horizons Care Center. He was 80.
Mr. Rule was born in Golden April 1, 1938, to Vyrus and Vivian (Gleason) Rule. He spent much of his childhood in Steamboat Springs. He lived in Craig and Cedaredge prior to moving to Hotchkiss 25 years ago.
He enjoyed working on his classic cars, fishing, snowmobiling, playing guitar and spending time with his family. He was a member of the Teamsters union.
He is survived by two sons, Mitch (Debbie) Rule of Aurora and Donald (Lynelle) Rule of Austin; sisters-in-law, Maxine Rule of Pollock, Texas, and Rieta Rule of Anchorage, Alaska; eight grandchildren; and seven great-grandchildren.
He was preceded in death by his brothers, Verle, Raymond and Bennie; and a daughter, Brenda Rule.
Taylor Funeral Service and Crematory is handling the arrangements.
Visit the internet obituary and sign the online guest registry at www.taylorfuneralservice.com.


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text:
How Supporting New Parents Can Shape California's Next Generation
By Angela Rothermel • Mar 12, 2018
Voluntary, evidence-based home visiting programs have been proven to be effective, and are backed by decades of research. Still, fewer than 2 percent of families who might benefit from them have access to these programs statewide. Photo credit: Children Now
Anyone who's had the responsibility of caring for a newborn or young child can agree on one thing: It's hard!
While family circumstances vary drastically across the state, the fact that parenting babies and toddlers is one of the most challenging periods in a person's life is universal.
But a growing body of research shows that the earliest years are the most important window of time to nurture healthy brain development, and that positive relationships are one of the best ways to ensure that happens.
In California, 62 percent of babies are born into low-income families, and one in six have a mother who did not graduate from high school.
Where do families like these go when they need help or information? What do these parents do when they don't have the support or the resources they need?
Angela Rothermel is a senior associate of early childhood policy at Children Now.
Consider the story of Saray, now 27. In early childhood, she experienced emotional neglect and physical abuse.
When she was 6, she moved to Los Angeles to live with her grandmother and was finally able to escape the abuse. However, as a teenager, she struggled with unhealed trauma and lacked the support to address it.
She became addicted to drugs, dropped out of high school and eventually ended up living on Los Angeles' skid row.
In 2016, Saray was single and still living in Los Angeles when she gave birth to her son. A few months later, she began working with the Healthy Families America program through Shields for Families, funded by First 5 LA.
The program connected her to a home visitor who became her supporter and champion. Saray said her home visitor, "helped me through difficult times. Especially when my family did not trust and believe in me, my home visitor did. She listened to my needs, talked me through tough times, and always helped me see the positive side of things."
Home-visiting programs, like the one Saray participates in, match new and expectant parents with trained professionals who provide ongoing, individualized support during critical points in pregnancy and through a child's first few years.
As Saray's son grew and new challenges emerged, Saray said her home visitor "supported me when my son's behavior was difficult and I felt like I wanted to give up. Learning about my child's behavior, and doing the activities, helped me work with my son to calm him down, giving him the attention he needed."
Home visitors are social workers, registered nurses or parent educators formally trained in a particular home-visiting program model. Home visitors work with families on a regular basis, often beginning during pregnancy or shortly after the birth of a child, and continuing for the next several years.
Visits typically last an hour, and range in frequency from weekly to monthly depending on the program guidelines. Programs are free to participants, who set personal goals, control the pace of the visits and focus the meetings on their own interests and questions. Home visitors offer parenting advice, coach parents toward their goals, and assist families in securing needed health screenings and safety-net resources.
These voluntary, evidence-based programs have been proven to be effective, and are backed by decades of research. In fact, evidence-based home visiting is proven to boost positive outcomes for both parents and children by supporting the optimal development of children; preventing child abuse and neglect; promoting healthy family relationships; increasing the confidence and competence of parents; promoting family economic self-sufficiency; and maximizing utilization of safety-net supports.
Although California does not yet invest directly in home-visiting programs—as more than 30 other states do—statewide leaders have championed and invested in these programs. Still, fewer than 2 percent of families who might benefit from home visits have access to them in California.
Home-visiting programs have rightfully begun to garner the attention of policymakers in Sacramento.
Last year, Assemblyman Joaquin Arambula, who is also a Fresno physician, authored Assembly Bill 992, which would bring home visiting to families participating in the state's California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids (CalWORKs) program. The bill is still under consideration in the legislature.
And in January, Governor Brown proposed a $158.5 million multi-year set-aside of Temporary Assistance for Needy Families funding within his 2018-19 budget to fund home visiting for young, first-time parents in CalWORKs through 2021.
Saray knows the value of home-visiting programs. Her son recently turned one, and last July she married his father.
Today, this new family is looking ahead at a brighter future. Let's help make California's future brighter too, so that more families like Saray's have access to the individualized support they need—from the very start.
by Angela Rothermel, California Health Report

How Supporting New Parents Can Shape California's Next Generation

by Angela Rothermel, California Health Report
March 12, 2018

Anyone who's had the responsibility of caring for a newborn or young child can agree on one thing: It's hard!

While family circumstances vary drastically across the state, the fact that parenting babies and toddlers is one of the most challenging periods in a person's life is universal.

But a growing body of research shows that the earliest years are the most important window of time to nurture healthy brain development, and that positive relationships are one of the best ways to ensure that happens.

In California, 62 percent of babies are born into low-income families, and one in six have a mother who did not graduate from high school.

Where do families like these go when they need help or information? What do these parents do when they don't have the support or the resources they need?

Consider the story of Saray, now 27. In early childhood, she experienced emotional neglect and physical abuse.

When she was 6, she moved to Los Angeles to live with her grandmother and was finally able to escape the abuse. However, as a teenager, she struggled with unhealed trauma and lacked the support to address it.

She became addicted to drugs, dropped out of high school and eventually ended up living on Los Angeles' skid row.

In 2016, Saray was single and still living in Los Angeles when she gave birth to her son. A few months later, she began working with the Healthy Families America program through Shields for Families, funded by First 5 LA.

The program connected her to a home visitor who became her supporter and champion. Saray said her home visitor, "helped me through difficult times. Especially when my family did not trust and believe in me, my home visitor did. She listened to my needs, talked me through tough times, and always helped me see the positive side of things."

Home-visiting programs, like the one Saray participates in, match new and expectant parents with trained professionals who provide ongoing, individualized support during critical points in pregnancy and through a child's first few years.

As Saray's son grew and new challenges emerged, Saray said her home visitor "supported me when my son's behavior was difficult and I felt like I wanted to give up. Learning about my child's behavior, and doing the activities, helped me work with my son to calm him down, giving him the attention he needed."

Home visitors are social workers, registered nurses or parent educators formally trained in a particular home-visiting program model. Home visitors work with families on a regular basis, often beginning during pregnancy or shortly after the birth of a child, and continuing for the next several years.

Visits typically last an hour, and range in frequency from weekly to monthly depending on the program guidelines. Programs are free to participants, who set personal goals, control the pace of the visits and focus the meetings on their own interests and questions. Home visitors offer parenting advice, coach parents toward their goals, and assist families in securing needed health screenings and safety-net resources.

These voluntary, evidence-based programs have been proven to be effective, and are backed by decades of research. In fact, evidence-based home visiting is proven to boost positive outcomes for both parents and children by supporting the optimal development of children; preventing child abuse and neglect; promoting healthy family relationships; increasing the confidence and competence of parents; promoting family economic self-sufficiency; and maximizing utilization of safety-net supports.

Although California does not yet invest directly in home-visiting programs—as more than 30 other states do—statewide leaders have championed and invested in these programs. Still, fewer than 2 percent of families who might benefit from home visits have access to them in California.

Home-visiting programs have rightfully begun to garner the attention of policymakers in Sacramento.

Last year, Assemblyman Joaquin Arambula, who is also a Fresno physician, authored Assembly Bill 992, which would bring home visiting to families participating in the state's California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids (CalWORKs) program. The bill is still under consideration in the legislature.

And in January, Governor Brown proposed a $158.5 million multi-year set-aside of Temporary Assistance for Needy Families funding within his 2018-19 budget to fund home visiting for young, first-time parents in CalWORKs through 2021.

Saray knows the value of home-visiting programs. Her son recently turned one, and last July she married his father.

Today, this new family is looking ahead at a brighter future. Let's help make California's future brighter too, so that more families like Saray's have access to the individualized support they need—from the very start.

Angela Rothermel is a senior associate of early childhood policy at Children Now.

This article first appeared on California Health Report and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
Give Youth an Escape Route from Addiction
We Need to Stop Normalizing Gun Violence
My Generation Won't Accept Empty Promises on Gun Violence Legislation
As an Oxnard High School Student, I've Seen the Cost of Gun Violence


* The project properties are indicated on the top left-hand side of the window and include: Project name, Width, Height, number of frames per second, Pixel aspect and Field options. Bottom left you will see the future size of your project, after modification.
* Just below, a popup menu is available in which you may select the predefined format you require, corresponding to the format you will obtain after modification. It is possible to modify a project originally in VGA format, to obtain a project in NTSC format.
* The numeric fields located under the popup menu change according to your choice in the predefined formats menu.
Of course, you may modify your project for your own format (for example to create an animated gif on a website). All you have to do is modify each option manually: Width, Height, Frame rate, Aspect Ratio, Field (a mini popup menu is available for the parameters Frame rate and Aspect ratio).
The Lock aspect button allows you to keep the width to height ratio of the original project.
The Rotation parameter is used to rotate the project 90, 180 or 270 degrees.
By default, when the Modify project function is used, TVPaint Animation keeps your original project and creates a new project which is modified according to the parameters you have selected.
- The Resize to new size button enables, when checked, the resizing of your original project to a new size.
- The Correct aspect ratio button forces the program to respect the original image aspect ratio (this avoids the creation of disproportionate images).
- The Stretch to new frame rate button, when checked, increases or decreases the number of images so that your new project has the same duration as the original project.
If, for example, your original project displayed 24 images/second and your frame rate is set to 12 images/second, your project will last twice as long (the number of images is, by default, retained). If the button Stretch to new frame rate is checked, some images will be deleted so that the original project and modified project have the same duration.
In the opposite case: original project with 12 images/second, modified to a project with 24 images/second, the modified project will be shorter than the original project. If the button Stretch to new frame rate is checked, intermediate images will be added to the modified project to make it coincide with the duration of the original project.
- The two aforementioned examples are similar to the layer's contract and stretch section discussed in lesson 6. The Time interpolation button also refers to this function as it imposes layer stretching or contracting with interpolation when the button Stretch to new frame rate is checked.
- The Remove project button is used when the original project is not to be kept on the screen.


Puma x JANNIK WIKKELSØ DAVIDSEN "Alteration PN-1"
Puma x SANKUANZ "CELL ENDURA"
Puma "CELL ENDURA Patent 98"
ADIDAS TERREX WMNS "SKYCHASER GTX"
Nike "Air Safari SE SP19"
Mattel x PUMA "RS-X Hot Wheels"
ADIDAS TERREX "AGRAVIC XT GTX"
ADIDAS "HARDEN VOL. 3 Number 13"
ADIDAS "HARDEN VOL. 3 Drew League"
Nike "Air Max 95 Premium"
ROBERTO RODRIGUEZ REDONDO "NOVUS ORDO"
ADIDAS "ZX 500 RM BOOST"
Puma x McQ Queen Wn´s "CLIMB MID"
Puma x BWGH "XS 850 Camo"
Reebok x Garbstore "PUMP RUNNING DUAL MID"
Reebok PUMP KAMIKAZE II "Twilight Zone"
Alife x Puma "BLAZE OF GLORY OG"
Alife x Puma "SUEDE MID X STUCK UP"
Reebok VENTILATOR "SLM Salmon Skin"
Nike "AIR JORDAN XI RETRO LOW IE - Referee"
Nike "AIR FORCE 1 LOW"
Nike "AIR FORCE 1 LOW (GS)"
Diadora "N9000 - MADE IN ITALY"
Diadora "S8000 - MADE IN ITALY"
New Balance M1500FB "Football Pack"
Nike "AIR PRESTO - ZEN GREY"
COLE HAAN "ØRIGINAL GRAND LONGWING OXFORD"
ASICS Gel-Lyte III "JAPANESE GARDEN"
Nike "AIR JORDAN X RETRO - NEW YORK"
Diadora "S8000 NYL - MADE IN ITALY"
New Balance "M1300DAS EXPLORE BY SEA"
G-SHOCK x MARCELO BURLON "CORAL SNAKE"
New Balance M577ETR "English Tender Pack"
New Balance M577ETP "English Tender Pack"
New Balance "M997DSAI EXPLORE BY SEA"
wings + horns x New Balance "MRT580DI"
KENDRICK LAMAR x Reebok "CL LTHR KLSP"
colette x New Balance "MRT580C6"
Reebok x FACE Stockholm "WMNS INSTAPUMP FURY"


Automatic Voter Registration (AVR) is a policy intended to streamline the way Americans register to vote. AVR uses an electronic "opt-out" registration system, whereby an individual is automatically placed on the state's voter roll during a transaction with a participating government agency – most commonly the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). To avoid automatic registration, the individual must "opt-out," or affirmatively decline to be registered. How to "opt-out" depends on the state. Some must do so at the time of the transaction, while others must respond to a notice mailed at a later date.
Historically, and in states where AVR has not yet been authorized, voters must instead "opt-in" to register. This means that an individual chooses to fill out a voter registration application, the application is transferred to the state's election officials for review and processing, and once approved the individual's name is added to the state's voter roll.
As of December 2018, 16 states and the District of Columbia have authorized AVR. While AVR is not a completely novel concept (rather, an updated version of the National Voter Registration Act of 1993), the "opt-out" provision is a differentiating factor.
AVR seems efficient, but to a non-citizen this new format can potentially have severe consequences. U.S. citizens are not the only individuals who interact with the participating government agencies, especially the DMV. In fact, many non-citizens are permitted to lawfully obtain state identification cards and driver's licenses pursuant to their immigration status. Some examples of these non-citizens include legal permanent residents, individuals with a valid Employment Authorization Document (EAD), and certain non-immigrant visa holders, such as students and specialty workers. Unfortunately, if one of these non-citizens were to be automatically registered to vote at the DMV, the outcome could be devastating. There are published cases in the Seventh and Eighth Circuits in which such unintentional registrations created a period of chaos for the unwary person.
According to the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA), a non-citizen who is found to have made a false claim to U.S. citizenship in connection with obtaining any benefit, for any purpose, under federal or state law is barred from entering or remaining in the United States without a waiver. For individuals seeking lawful permanent resident status, a waiver for a false claim to U.S. citizenship is generally not authorized. This means that a person who claims citizenship prematurely can find him or herself in deportation proceedings.
The non-citizen made the false representation for any purpose or benefit under the INA or any other federal or state law.
In sum, the "opt-out" provision of AVR has the potential to be very problematic for non-citizens, especially where language barriers or untrained government workers are a factor. Some individuals do not even realize that they have been automatically registered to vote until they receive mail from the state's election office or a jury summons. In such cases, proving that the false representation was made unknowingly is imperative; it may determine whether the individual can remain in the United States.
If you are not a U.S. citizen and think you may have been automatically registered to vote, please contact an immigration attorney at Wilson Law Group to help you make sure that you do not endanger your immigration status by acting on the best of intentions. Wilson Law Group has successfully helped individuals whom the state either registered in error or who voted unknowingly keep their status and eventually become citizens of the United States. There are also exceptions for individuals who arrived as children and their parents later became citizens.


TheCompensators* are a registered as a non-profit organisation with the German state. Therefore our donors and members can set off their donations and membership fees against their taxes. And it means that the German state pays up to nearly half of your donations!
For higher donations, we will send a "Spendenbescheinigung" on request. To request one, please send us an e-mail with your postal address to info_at_thecompensators.org. We will send the donation receipt in the first months of the year following your donation(s).


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text:
Germain Louvet, né le  à Chalon-sur-Saône en Saône-et-Loire, est un danseur français. Il est nommé danseur étoile au ballet de l'Opéra national de Paris le .

Biographie

Famille
Il est petit fils de paysan, et le frère du coureur cycliste professionnel Louis Louvet.

Jeunesse et formation
À l'âge de quatre ans, Germain Louvet débute la danse dans un club de danse moderne jazz à Givry, près de Chalon-sur-Saône en Bourgogne.

Il n'a jamais fait d'autres sports, ayant dès son plus jeune âge exprimé son désir de faire de la danse.

En , à l'âge de 7 ans, en CE1, Germain Louvet intègre les classes de danse du Conservatoire national de région de Chalon-sur-Saône. Il y reste plusieurs années, sous les ordres de Philippe Cheloudiakoff et Sylvie Mondoulet, ses professeurs.

En , il réussit le concours d'entrée à l'école de danse de l'Opéra national de Paris, située à Nanterre, et rentre en . Après avoir fréquenté toutes les classes, il est engagé dans le corps de ballet de l'Opéra de Paris en 2011.

Ballet de l'Opéra national de Paris
Germain Louvet intègre le corps de ballet de l'Opéra de Paris le , à la faveur au concours interne. Cette année-là,  réussissent le concours d'entrée, un record pour une promotion : Jérémy-Loup Quer, Hugo Marchand, Mathieu Contat et Germain Louvet.

Le , il est promu Coryphée lors du concours interne du Corps de ballet de l'Opéra de Paris avec pour variation imposée : variation du Pas de cinq des Pierres précieuses, La Belle au bois dormant, acte III chorégraphié de Rudolf Noureev et pour variation libre : Paquita, acte II, Grand pas, variation de Lucien d'Hervilly chorégraphié de Pierre Lacotte.

Le , il est promu Sujet au concours interne du Corps de ballet de l'Opéra de Paris avec  pour variation imposée : Le Lac des cygnes de Rudolf Noureev, acte III, variation du Prince Siegfried, et pour variation libre : Le Lac des cygnes, acte I, variation lente de Siegfried.

Le , il est promu Premier danseur au concours interne du Corps de ballet de l'Opéra de Paris, la nomination étant effective au  2017. La variation imposée est: La Belle au bois dormant, variation lente du Prince de l'acte II, chorégraphie de Rudolf Noureev et la variation libre : « Études », Mazurka  de Harald Lander.

Il est distribué dans Casse-noisette et Roméo par Benjamin Millepied, et dans sa création Clear, Loud, Bright, Forward en 2015.

Fin , il participe à plusieurs représentations au sein du Théâtre de la Scala de Milan, en hommage aux 25 ans de la mort de Rudolf Noureev, avec l'étoile russe Svetlana Zakharova.

En ,  il danse pour la première fois aux côtés de l'étoile Dorothée Gilbert le premier rôle masculin Colas, dans le ballet La fille mal gardée, de Frederick Ashton.

Danseur étoile
Germain Louvet est nommé danseur étoile le , à 23 ans, à l'issue d'une représentation du Lac des cygnes de Rudolf Noureev. Ce soir-là, Germain Louvet interprète le rôle principal de Siegfried aux côtés de Ludmila Pagliero et Karl Paquette.

Stéphane Lissner, directeur de l'Opéra national de Paris, annonce sur scène : « Mesdames, messieurs ! Sur proposition d'Aurélie Dupont, directrice du Ballet, je suis très heureux de nommer Germain Louvet danseur étoile. »

Il gravit ainsi tous les échelons du Ballet sous trois directeurs de la danse différents : Brigitte Lefèvre, Benjamin Millepied et Aurélie Dupont.

Par sa jeunesse, Germain Louvet incarne un renouveau des étoiles de l'Opéra de Paris. Sa nomination constitue un acte fort de la part d'Aurélie Dupont étant donné que François Alu a déjà été promu premier danseur le . Germain Louvet est la première étoile nommée par la nouvelle directrice de la danse. Il a été marqué par leur rencontre lors de sa prise de rôle dans Casse-noisette en  et reconnaît une influence de leur travail commun dans sa danse.

Style
Germain Louvet est réputé pour la fluidité de ses prestations.

« Pour le reste, et dans une certaine mesure, j'ai compris que je devais faire confiance à mon instinct. Avec moi, la spontanéité fonctionne mieux [...]. Si, sur scène, je vais droit à l'essentiel sans envisager les difficultés techniques pour ce qu'elles sont mais comme des pas parmi d'autres, cela me permet de me situer davantage dans la linéarité de l'enchaînement de pas sans souligner ces préparations techniques. Cela m'évite de créer des ruptures d'énergie et, sans doute, donne cette impression de ne pas me préparer aux difficultés ».

Son allure et sa musculature semblent l'avoir prédestiné aux rôles des princes, mais si ceux-ci ont sa préférence, il souhaite aussi découvrir un large spectre de rôles et d'incarnations. Sensible aux chorégraphies de Noureev, il souligne leur « musicalité particulièrement pointue et intelligente », « l'apport d'une dimension cinématographique » (« Roméo et Juliette » ou « Cendrillon ») et « la vraie profondeur » des personnages à incarner, témoins des différents niveaux de lecture que Noureev propose dans ses ballets.

Activités de mode
Germain Louvet est aussi mannequin et pose pour des photographes, notamment pour l'agence Success Models à Paris.

Il participe régulièrement à des défilés pour la créatrice Agnès b.

En 2020, il participe à l'ultime défilé du créateur Jean Paul Gaultier.

Vie privée
Germain Louvet est en couple avec le journaliste engagé Pablo Pillaud-Vivien depuis plusieurs années.

Bibliographie
Des choses qui se dansent, Fayard, 2022.

Filmographie
 2022 : En corps de Cédric Klapisch : Jean-Philippe

Récompenses
 2013 : Prix du Cercle Carpeaux.
 2016 : Prix de l'AROP

Documentaires
 Germain Louvet nommé danseur Étoile, cérémonie de nomination du  sur la scène de l'Opéra de Paris, 2 min 08.
 Dans les pas du danseur étoile Germain Louvet, reportage France 3 Bourgogne Franche Comté, mini-série de 4 épisodes.

Notes et références

Liens externes

 Fiche Germain Louvet sur le site de l'Opéra national de Paris

Danseur français du XXIe siècle
Ballet de l'Opéra national de Paris
Personnalité ayant fait son coming out
Naissance en mai 1993
Naissance à Chalon-sur-Saône
Élève du conservatoire à rayonnement régional de Chalon-sur-Saône

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A Deeper Look at the VW-Ford Alliance
/ New Car Reviews / Road Tests / First Drive: 2018 Mercedes-AMG GT R
First Drive: 2018 Mercedes-AMG GT R
A beast knighted in Green Hell
By: Georg Kacher | Photography by: The Manufacturer December 15, 2016
PORTIMAO, Portugal — There's nothing quite as aggressive and menacing as the face of a street-legal race car filling up your rear-view mirror, in this case one rapidly approaching from between Portimao's Torre and Alonso corners. It looks positively sinister, with a Jaws-esque grille inspired by the legendary 300 SL Panamericana road racer, accented by piercing LED eyebrows. Evil on wheels, thy name is the 2018 Mercedes-AMG GT R.
Back in the pits, the fear factor doubled the moment I opened the door, reached waaaaaay down into the dark footwell for the manual seat adjustment, and pushed the carbon-fiber bucket all the way back to the rear firewall. Cabin space is tight, and the tightest part grabs your bum, shrinking the waist size a couple of inches. Don't even think about asking for alleviation like shoulder pads, extra lumbar support or even a profane height alignment. What you see is what you feel, so grit your teeth, pull out that fly yellow safety belt and buckle up.
I'm nervous because I'm sandwiched between two pros. Driving the lead car is the former DTM champ Bernd Schneider, while at the wheel of the car behind sits the new Ringmeister (AMG's own nameless, faceless version of The Stig). Great, just what I need. Bernd's brief instructions sound to me like the Last Rites: "Put the drive mode selector in Race. Now switch off ESP altogether. That's it. See the control display between the speedo and rev counter? It depicts the traction-control setting. There are nine segments, three yellow and six red. Yellow is for sissies. To begin with, you go two clicks into the red. Any questions?" No, except that this is not an airfield autocross with two dozen cones and 1,200 yards of runoff area. Instead, Portimao is a certified F1 circuit. And it is fast. Very fast. On day two, heart in hand, I saw for the blink of an eye an indicated 160 mph at the end of the downhill start-finish straight. But right now the lights go green, the flagman does his routine, and in one-two-three formation, we're hollering down the pit lane at 60 clicks sharp.
Aptly sprayed in matte Nordschleife green and fresh off its Nürburgring lap record of 7 minutes, 10.9 seconds (the fastest ever for a rear-drive production car), at 3,428 pounds the new 577-hp GT R weighs about as much as an Audi R8 V10 and it's just 130 pounds or so heavier than Porsche 911 GT3 RS thanks to a generous use of aluminum and carbon fiber. It also scores brownie points for its nicely balanced weight distribution (roughly 47/53 front/rear), an advantage owed primarily to its transaxle layout.
While the dry-sump lubrication system helps lower the AMG GT R's center of gravity, the rear wing and active underbody aerodynamics in the shape of an automatically descending carbon fiber lozenge boost high-speed downforce by a significant 342 pounds. Like the Mercedes-AMG GT C roadster, the GT R is fitted with rear-wheel steering as standard equipment. Ensuring optimum grip and traction are soft-compound Michelin Pilot Sport Cup 2 tires, sized 275/30 R19 up front and 325/30 R20 in the rear.
Sporting a challenging mix of slow and fast corners as well as a potpourri of climbs and descents, Portimao makes for a memorable driving experience. Weather can be an issue, though. In the wake of heavy overnight rain, the grip level typically drops a notch or two, and strong wind will create lift where you least need it, namely on the approach to the fastest downhill corner.
As long as you don't overdrive them, the Pilot Sports are capable of amazing roadholding talents, inspiring confidence even through the track's breathtaking 110 mph-plus kink. Carbon-ceramic brakes cost extra, but with Schneider leading our group, we're happy to have them to call upon. Even though the massive compound rotors are not totally immune to fading, the initial bite and the staying power make a difference on the circuit. As a result, overshooting the mental brake marker by a car length or two doesn't automatically alert the gravel trap tow team. The subsequent fishtailing, triggered by an off-guard moment inside the electronically controlled diff lock, is merely a friendly gesture to the grandstands.
The nine-setting traction control must be set via a small bright yellow turning knob positioned below the center eyeball vent. On cold tires, switching TC off is a bad idea, but it doesn't take long for the fat, rear-mounted Michelins to grab the tarmac with vigor, so be prepared to work them hard or the front tires will overheat early and you'll be starring in an episode of "The Fun is Over."
With its iconic 6.2-liter V-8 resting in peace, Mercedes-AMG has been concentrating its engine engineering efforts on its twin-turbo 4.0-liter V-8. The mill fuses the aforementioned 577 hp, which peaks at 6,250 rpm with a 7,000 rpm redline, and 516 lb-ft of low-end torque available from 1,900 to 5,500 rpm.
Bolted onto the engine is AMG's Speedshift seven-speed transmission, which features a longer first gear and slightly shorter ratios in sixth and seventh for even more mid-range punch. Acceleration from 0 to 60 mph is claimed to be a swift 3.5 seconds onto a top speed of 198 mph should you ever find the time and space to get there. The 200 mph-plus trophy is presumably tucked away in a cupboard for next year's Black Series edition.
The AMG GT R's variable-rate steering systems (plural) deserve a separate chapter. Depending on speed, mode, and lateral acceleration, driver input has complex consequences. At the inception of a slide, for instance, steering effort is reduced so that correction maneuvers require only minor adjustments, adhering to the line is playfully easy, and lock can be unwound pleasingly early.
Above 62 mph, the system switches from countersteer to synchronicity. Similar to the setups in the 911 Turbo and Lamborghini Centenario, this transition is executed progressively and smoothly. In Race mode, direction changes occur with physical immediacy; in Comfort, however, the wheels turn with pursed sidewalls. Further enhancing this by-wire muscle-tensing exercise for the hind legs are over a dozen uniball joints in lieu of the commonly used rubber mounts. But despite the second rack's myriad advantages, it hasn't exactly helped the turning circle, which measures a grand 37.7 feet.
Take it from us, you wouldn't want to try the Track calibration — springs in the stiffest setting, dampers in sport plus, rear wing fixed in max downforce position, reduced tire pressures — on Portuguese country roads. But even with all systems at their cushiest, compliance is not exactly one of the GT R's strengths. This was particularly obvious on a deserted stretch of autovia from Portimao down the coast to Lagos, where it took a trial run, total concentration, and a conscious effort to push the car to a speed it would otherwise reach only towards the end of the Nürburgring's flat-out Döttinger Höhe section. On said eight-mile motorway run, its meaty and stiff steering kept swapping between fighting the surface to holding direction. While the green devil deserves nine out of ten points for aerodynamic stability, the wide tires and taut suspension are their own enemies when it comes to sealing the bond between the car and the chosen line on the open road.
In the hinterlands around Portimao, sprouting enthusiasm is also dashed somewhat by the GT R's marginal ground clearance, vulnerable wheels, and extra 2.2 inches of width that are part of the package. With 52.7-percent of the weight resting on the rear transaxle, traction and grip are, on the other hand, rarely an issue. Unless of course there happens to be sand and gravel on the road, or a patch of sealed surface missing in the middle of a blind bend.
With engine and transmission set in Sport, the urge to reach for the shift paddles is almost irresistible. But like on the track with the DNA selector in the Race position, the electronic brain is on the road, too, better qualified than this driver to time up- and downshifts to perfection. The sequence and the chosen ratio are also spot-on. It's almost as if the GT R had eyes to look ahead and then act accordingly. Give it stick on an exhausting stretch of blacktop, and the so-called airpanel in the nose cone will open its vanes to cool down the brakes and, if need be, the engine.
Especially in its brutal green livery, the AMG GT R is an extroverted sports coupe for extroverted people — loud, brash, and about as subtle as a train crash. But much like the offerings from Ferrari, Lamborghini, and McLaren, there is no denying that this very special Mercedes works equally well for poseurs and pros alike.
While the "Fastest Rear-Drive Production Car on the Nordschleife" certificate positions the winged warrior for the time being firmly on top of the ability tree, the GT R's eye-catching presence, raw soundtrack, and the awesome perceived performance have a profound ego-stroking effect. In a segment dominated by mid- and rear-engine legends, the front-engine 2018 Mercedes-AMG GT R is much more desirable than the outgoing Vantage V8, the overweight M6 and MB's own SL63 AMG. But if I was in the market for an SLS replacement, I'd either save money by buying a GT C next spring or wait a little longer for the GT R Black Series.
2018 Mercedes-AMG GT R Specifications
On Sale: Summer 2017
Engine: 4.0L twin-turbo DOHC 32-valve V-8/577 hp @ 6,250 rpm, 516 lb-ft @ 1,900 – 5,500 rpm
Transmission: 7-speed twin clutch automatic
Layout: 2-door, 2-passenger, front-engine, RWD coupe
L x W x H: 181.0 x 78.5 x 50.7 in (est)
Weight: 3,428 lb (est)
0-60 MPH: 3.5 sec
Georg Kacher,
European Bureau Chief
MSRP $132,400 S Coupe
EPA MPG:
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